00:00:00
He did do a good thing when the bill came. He goes, "I got it." And I go, "Okay." And he goes, "No, my wallet. I
00:00:04
got it. I thought I forgot." >> No. He does a whole dance when the bill comes. He's like,
00:00:08
>> he does a whole thing like he's reaching. Oh, reaching in there. You know, you're like, "Oh, hell." Really?
00:00:15
>> I'm just getting my gun now. You pay it. [laughter] >> You haven't said wiener or butthole. So,
00:00:21
I just lost a poly market. >> Poly market. [ __ ] Cuz people have kept asking me, I know it's after the fact.
00:00:29
Why wasn't I at the Taylor Swift Travis Kelce wedding? Well, [music] it's because I wasn't invited and I don't
00:00:37
know the bride or groom. This is as close to and this is no joke. I'm not getting around here. This is
00:00:46
like a kind of an emergency podcast like we didn't know. Just so if this this show is maybe not our A+, just know
00:00:55
>> that we didn't know we were gonna do this two and a half minutes ago. [laughter]
00:01:02
>> I'm in the new place. Everyone's been clamoring for details. >> Dave has been It's a moving whoop-dedoo.
00:01:08
Yeah. Go ahead. >> Me moving is is like Taylor Swift's wedding. Like any tidbits, any gossip,
00:01:14
any juice, any leaks >> Yeah. >> at the move. [laughter] any leaks in the house?
00:01:21
>> Yeah, there was a leak. The air conditioner was somehow leaking under the sink. And Heather was like, we were
00:01:28
all like, "What the fuck?" My buddy Jod's here. He's like, "There's a leak in the laundry room." Like, I don't
00:01:33
think that should be connected to my [laughter] dog [ __ ] new AC trash. [laughter] I
00:01:40
like, of course, it's money pit within seconds. >> Well, I don't know if you right now. Are
00:01:46
you glad you're moving? [laughter] I'm glad this is the first time I spent the night was last night and it
00:01:52
was like uh because you know the last time I moved you did not know this but >> that place was bigger
00:02:00
>> and it was a [snorts] little scarier and I was upstairs and that that was after
00:02:04
>> well obviously I've been attacked in the middle of the night before but also after that I got broken into
00:02:09
>> and I was at the comedy store so they stole my safe >> so I missed them by 8 minutes so I'm a
00:02:14
little paranoid being in a new house it was raining alone phone in winter and at
00:02:18
2 a.m. all the lights go on >> and a siren went off, right? >> Yeah. And >> I mean there that's not paranoia. That's
00:02:26
just that's just uh dangerous. It's a dangerous house. >> That's from the movie Back Rooms.
00:02:33
[laughter] >> Yeah. Horror movie with Eli Roth. So I >> That's a great double feature. See
00:02:40
obsession in back rooms and then go right to a psychiatrist's office. Okay. No, they go right to my first night in
00:02:47
my house. [laughter] So that one the lights come on and the next night after I [ __ ] [ __ ] my pants
00:02:52
the next night >> 2 a.m. lights go on again. >> The next day I get my guys in. I'm like
00:02:58
>> guys any reason the lights are going on to him? He goes, "Oh, the old company
00:03:04
just contact us. They want 25 grand to stop that." >> They were doing it on purpose.
00:03:10
>> Oh wow. They want 25 grand. Some mob [ __ ] Yeah. Tony Soprano. >> Yeah. They said, you know, uh, if you
00:03:17
want this to stop, the last person >> owes us money. And I go, >> well, I'm the first person that bought
00:03:24
this. This is a new house. So, if those guys owe you money, the developer, I don't know. But
00:03:29
>> anyway, it was a full [ __ ] show. And then I heard Brad Pit. Well, no names. I
00:03:32
heard there was some super famous guy >> that had a situation like that. And so I
00:03:38
said, "Oh, the only reason I'm saying that is that it's kind of something they do
00:03:43
>> and they hold you for ransom." And so, >> right, well, Brad Pitt goes by super
00:03:47
famous guy with his friends. That's a nickname. Hey, super famous guy, want to see a movie,
00:03:52
>> dude. When I see Brad Pit, I get Starruck. I [laughter] >> gets off his motorcycle like, "Hey." I'm
00:03:58
like, "What if you're in 7-Eleven or he's delivering my [ __ ] Dominoes?" Takes it off. I'm like,
00:04:02
>> Brad Pitt gets starruck? That guy looks in the mirror in the morning goes, "Really? [ __ ] He goes, "Oh my god,
00:04:08
[laughter] it's Brad Fit." >> No, I asked Kim Kardashian that. Do you ever look in the mirror and you just go,
00:04:12
"Wow." She goes, "Yeah, all the time." Who are the [snorts] movie stars right now? And then I'll get back to my boring
00:04:17
story. Don't you worry. >> Okay. Now I need to talk about tarantulas, wasp, and frogs.
00:04:24
>> Oh, okay. But I'll just say I'm in my house. It's >> I want to hear your story first. That
00:04:28
was a teaser. That's how we keep them. >> No. Yeah. The people are [laughter] like, "Fuck, we got to hang in there.
00:04:33
I'm going to turn what >> story about a [ __ ] bumblebee. >> Okay. I want to hear your housing
00:04:38
stories first. >> It's just wrapping up that Heather through this rag tag podcast situation
00:04:44
together. It's not as easy as it looks. To get it to look shitty is actually hard. We are in here and she's flipping
00:04:52
on anyway. And also there's movers out there >> and uh it's very weird the first night,
00:04:56
but it went okay. Now I'm >> getting tougher and I'm getting ready for grown-ups. So, it's like I have to
00:05:04
move in, get settled. The second I'm settled, I have to flip it and pack everything in
00:05:10
amay. >> Well, what just to so I have clarity. >> Yeah. >> Where did you sleep last night? Old
00:05:17
house or new house? >> That was the first time I felt in a vortex in the middle of the day. Like
00:05:24
>> they had finished packing around 3 at the old house. >> Okay. >> Bed, everything. And I had slept over
00:05:30
there. Now, the bed, which is really your basis of your house, is driving around LA. And
00:05:36
I'm driving around LA going >> either house has nothing in it. So, I just sit on the floor. Then I drive to
00:05:42
this one and just sit on the floor and go, >> I I'm kind of just floating right now.
00:05:46
And then stuff comes in. And then I went to dinner last night. I saw love it. >> Hello.
00:05:53
>> If you need any help, don't call. [laughter] Now, >> he actually would like he would like to
00:06:00
tell you where to put furniture and stuff. >> No, he liked it. He loves to give advice. So, he picked he picked me up
00:06:05
and took me to dinner. >> And he let me pay, which is very nice. He said, he said, "I insist that you
00:06:12
pay." He did do a good thing when the bill came. He goes, "I got it." And I go, "Okay." And he goes, "No, my wallet.
00:06:17
I got it. I thought I >> No, he does a whole dance when the bill comes." He's like, he does a whole thing
00:06:22
like he's reaching. Oh, reaching in there, you know, and you're like, "Oh, hell." Really?
00:06:28
>> I'm just getting my gun now. You pay it. >> So, anyway, >> gun is made of money, too.
00:06:34
>> Came back, slept like a tough guy that I am. But it was weird. Nearly >> slept where though? Old house, new
00:06:41
house? >> New house. >> Oh, interesting. >> Bed thrown together, rag tag mission.
00:06:46
What was your 2 AM phobia vibe? Uh, in that new house. >> Uh, one of the nine times I had to pee.
00:06:54
That's all. >> Oh, you're under you're under double digits. Well, then it's the the medic
00:06:59
[laughter] medication's working. >> No, I'm so young, dude. I I don't pee at [laughter] all. I pee on Fridays
00:07:07
>> and Wednesdays. [laughter] >> You haven't said wiener or butthole. So, I just lost a poly market.
00:07:15
Poly market [ __ ] Kishi. >> It's over eight minutes. Kishi >> Kishi, we must attack the troder lights.
00:07:23
>> Talk about your uh bugs and then I'll talk about >> Okay, first of all, little frogs are now
00:07:28
around. They're like this big. >> And what they do is I'm not quite sure in the caretaker cottage. I think they
00:07:36
come up through the toilet, which they love. They're in the septic tank and they love it down there. But some
00:07:43
little rascals come up and then they're inside. They're above the water line in the toilet. They're like, "It's a little
00:07:51
frog. They can't make it out or what?" >> Well, what it was like sometimes I'm sort of want to send them back to
00:07:57
Nirvana, which is a septic tank. So, I flush and then I'm looking. It's still stuck on the side. And then
00:08:05
it gets a sense. I bring the lid up. And what they do in lightning speed is they
00:08:11
leap out. leaps past me and sticks to the wall. >> Oh, they have the little suction. So,
00:08:17
>> yeah, >> they once they realize they're playing possum, but once you lift that lid that
00:08:22
blocks them >> Yeah. >> they make >> they come out. >> And also, even if you flush, they have
00:08:27
some kind there's suction ladction. I They're everywhere. I don't like to hurt things. I try to get a paper towel and
00:08:35
throw them in in nature if I can, but if I squish them, I'll squish them, but I don't want to squish them. Now, this
00:08:42
this might you might find interesting. >> The It's tarantula season up here. >> Yeah.
00:08:51
>> Terrifying. I am scared of tarantulas. >> This is a tarantula running as fast as
00:08:55
it can. >> Got their feelers up, too. It's so >> Now, there's a symbiotic thing. You may
00:09:00
know this, but it's happening here right now. The wasp and the tarantula. The wasp goes flies under the tarantula
00:09:10
between the two legs and stings it and paralyzes it >> on the genitalia. >> Yeah. So it's like going like this and
00:09:18
then >> it's still alive. It's still alive. >> It paralyzes the >> the tarantula and then it attaches its
00:09:28
egg under the tarantula which then feeds off [laughter] the dig. Well, I'm sure that's so uncool
00:09:37
[laughter] and tarantula can't do anything, right? >> That's the top five funniest thing
00:09:42
you've [laughter] ever said on this podcast. Okay, >> I'm describing nature and animals with a
00:09:49
rude. It's so mean. So, that paralyzed the tarantula, sticks its egg baby underneath, which feeds on the
00:09:57
tarantula's abdomen. Then eventually they open up the tarantula, go in, they avoid vital
00:10:05
organs to keep it alive, and they feed on everything else that's in the abdomen. And then the baby is happy and
00:10:12
flies away. And then they take the tarantula, which is now not existing, and they bury it. And this happens a
00:10:19
thousand TIMES A DAY ALL over the valley. Yeah. >> You'd think they'd at least donate the
00:10:25
organs. >> [laughter] >> I mean, if they're going to be if they're going to redeem themselves in
00:10:29
any way, shape, or form. [gasps] >> Well, that's like the movie Alien. That's where the idea came from. In the
00:10:36
movie Alien, they plant they plant the you and the the inside the guy and then it bursts out his stomach if you
00:10:45
remember the movie. >> Smart idea. >> Yeah. I I just want to settle one piece of business because people have kept
00:10:52
asking me, I know it's after the fact. Why wasn't I at the Taylor Swift Travis Kelce wedding? You know, they're asking
00:11:00
why why weren't you there? Why didn't you go? Well, it's because I wasn't invited and I don't know the bride or
00:11:07
groom. And so that settles that >> that combo >> that just puts it to sleep. >> But would your hay hair been ready?
00:11:14
Could you have gotten it together? [laughter] >> I mean, this hair Cuz last week you said you were going for a
00:11:21
summer cut. >> Well, the summer cut happens on Saturday. [laughter] >> It hasn't happened yet.
00:11:27
>> No, I just kind of matted it down, fluffed it back, and did what I could. This is what I got. I mean,
00:11:33
>> I wake up and balance it in the morning and then I walk out. I mean, there's nothing going on.
00:11:37
>> Well, why is it short on one side and more more swooped on the other side? >> Saved. And then today, I put a hat on. I
00:11:43
put this new dog. >> Can we see? Okay. And it's pretty cool, but it made it so black in the
00:11:48
background because we haven't tweaked it. I said >> our audience doesn't deserve that. They
00:11:52
need >> No, authenticity. [laughter] Yeah. So, uh, >> my whole hair is flipped one side and
00:11:58
the buzz cut is over here, but I don't mind. >> Who bu Who does the buzz cutting? Is
00:12:02
that a barber or is it you? You do it? >> No. No. I have a uh young lady comes over here and she's a hair cutter and
00:12:10
she >> Okay. And so she thinks that looks good to buzz cut it on your temple. I'm not
00:12:17
criticism, but I mean she thinks it looks good. >> I [laughter] said I saw it on some
00:12:22
prisoner and I thought it looked good. So I'm I want to be a hot felon. >> Hot felon look. Remember the hot to him?
00:12:31
>> Uh there is a part of society for some reason that certain women fall in love
00:12:36
with a guy on death row. They just can't get enough of the guy on death row. I don't know what it is. That's a Heather
00:12:42
or Greg question. >> I tell you, this is a little deep, but some guys, some women say, "Oh, I want
00:12:47
the bad boys." And it's very surfacy. Give me a bad boy. Nice guys don't do it for me. And then they're there later and
00:12:52
they're like, "I was in a horrible relationship and he was a horrible person and it's time to take care of
00:12:58
myself." And I'm like, "That was a bad boy. >> That you ordered off the menu. [clears throat]
00:13:03
>> You got it. Now you have a stomach ache." >> Right. Sort of. Can they find a nice guy
00:13:10
physically attractive? That's that's the question. >> Nice guys are gross. I get it. They gave
00:13:14
me the ick. >> Yeah. Can you be an a nice guy with a bit of bad boy hidden inside? [laughter]
00:13:26
>> Yeah, I have my own problems. Sure. I'm not I am pretty nice though. I have to
00:13:30
say you're a very nice guy. You're known >> You might be known as a hair nice to me,
00:13:34
but I'm known as nice. That's the biggest shocker because George Seagull, people would say when they'd see him,
00:13:40
they go, "That's Spade. He's got to be a dick." Because I'm so rude on all these
00:13:43
shows. >> All right. They don't know. They don't know the real you. Yeah. >> A rude skirt chaser on literally every
00:13:49
show movie. And he goes, "The big story is that he's nice and no one wants to hear it."
00:13:55
>> No one wants to hear it. I know. Whenever I bring friends backstage, I go, they go, "Dave Spade's really nice.
00:14:01
What a nice guy." I go, "Well, that's just a thing he played on a sitcom just because he's in a movie." Were you mean
00:14:08
to Chris Farley and Tommy Boy? [snorts] Sarcastic, but not mean. >> Yeah, we when we would um the old days I
00:14:16
was even meaner in movies like PCU. I was like >> basically just like a white supremacist
00:14:22
there. Like I didn't even look at the part like that. Then later I'm looking back going what am I why did I even take
00:14:26
that part? I'm always like the bad guy. And Sandler told me once, quit playing the bad guy. play the good guy, then
00:14:32
everyone will like you. I'm like, [clears throat and laughter] that's pretty that's like like too many easy
00:14:38
secrets to success. There's too many easy things in show business that go right by everybody, and that's one of
00:14:44
them. Well, maybe I should play a nice guy so people like me and want to see my movie.
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Bluetooth for sponsoring the pod and the bedroom. >> Well, the problem with comedy is Dana,
00:17:41
in movies, you know this as well as anyone. >> There's when they're hiring people,
00:17:47
Sandler can kind of get his pick of the letter for all comedy parts, all types, and all drama. There's really no drama.
00:17:54
I think they would say no to sound. They'd say >> that's an idea. It's a conversation at
00:18:00
minimum. >> Yeah. After Uncut Gems, it's game over. He can do that. >> He's [clears throat] just doing another
00:18:04
one that I've heard about I should talk about, but it's >> it sounds so [ __ ] cool. So, he gets
00:18:10
those and he gets to do other stuff. Now, if you're a regular comedian and people say, "Why don't you do other
00:18:19
types of comedy?" I'm in a pie chart this big. That's like sarcastic comedy. So once you're you're on SNL trying to
00:18:26
show you have any angle. Do you have any game Dennis Miller? You got any chop? What do you got?
00:18:30
>> Any chops? >> And you show what do you got? You got nothing. So you get an angle and then
00:18:35
you spend the rest of your career trying to get away from that. >> So mine was sarcastic, Hollywood Minute,
00:18:40
that kind of stuff. >> And then when you do a movie, they go plug him in that. >> You go, could I be that romantically?
00:18:46
No, no, no, no. This is your thin part of the pie chart you can do. We will get Owen Wilson for that. We'll get Vince
00:18:52
Swan for this. But and you there's all these comics that do different things >> and you wonder why they all play kind of
00:18:58
the same thing because if you don't get other offers and you have to keep working. You go, I'll do the best with
00:19:04
that and make it my best. >> Yeah. It's just human nature. If they don't see it, then they don't think you
00:19:08
can do it. They have to see it. Like a lot of people probably wouldn't have given Sandler uncut gems. the Safety
00:19:14
Brothers kind of figured it out because he'd done a Paul Thomas Anderson movie and now they now they'll give him any
00:19:20
dramatic dramatic thing. I had to think for myself cuz I think I was highly passive aggressive. I grew up in a very
00:19:26
rough childhood as you recall. Your sweetheart adolescence was something to dream about. But my characters besides
00:19:36
Gar were kind of aggressive. Church lady was sarcastic and aggressive. Yeah. >> Hans and Fron would threaten to
00:19:43
literally go to people's homes and hurt them for doubting their [laughter] muscular
00:19:47
>> clothe them with their buttocks. Yeah. >> But G, which was based on my brother
00:19:52
Brad. Um people asked me about him. I go, I want to be G. It's like the nicest character I've ever played. And it paid
00:20:01
off. I was the nicest in Joe Dirt. And uh that's when people you can be a nice person. It's like being bullied and
00:20:08
trying to just be a good person. And that paid off in that way because it was just a different move, but that was sort
00:20:13
of I got to write it. And Adam, I'll put it up. He said, I think this is weird enough. I think it'll work. And he's
00:20:20
usually got those good hunches. So that and then I've not had a girlfriend to like the wrong Missy. I mean, I have
00:20:26
never been married in a movie forever. And >> didn't you have a love interest with a
00:20:30
dog or something? That was kind of a romantic comedy. >> I chased a girl. So it was like I was
00:20:36
dating like looking for a real but I >> What was the name of that? That was Lost
00:20:40
and Found. >> Oh, >> I thought it was the name of your last special, >> Inception. No. Um [laughter]
00:20:47
Um Chris Nolan should have let me play Helen of Troy. >> What is the net? >> What's with the Odyssey controversy?
00:20:57
It's not out yet as of our taping. >> You haven't [clears throat] seen it yet, have you? It's not out yet.
00:21:02
>> No, I haven't seen it. Um, you know, I'll always see a Christopher Nolan movie because uh it's going to be
00:21:10
something's going to be very good about it. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Um >> I think what happened is there's new
00:21:16
guidelines. This is what I read for Academy Award when you have >> to be eligible you need to
00:21:22
>> be eligible there's new guidelines and you have to stick to those right >> or you can't even be considered and
00:21:29
something like the Odyssey uh would probably no matter what be sweeping some Oscar categories because
00:21:38
it's Chris Nolan. So he I think he's playing by the rules what the rules are and I don't know them
00:21:43
all perfectly but >> well to me I mean if you look at uh Gladiator was kind of in that time but
00:21:50
really more like this because there's goblins and monsters and witches the alltime great movie of this genre by far
00:21:59
is Jason and the Argonauts. So Jason and the Argonauts with Ray Harry howen did the big metal man on the island and
00:22:07
>> uh the the >> You mean when we were kids? Yeah, we were kids. That is still a epic classic
00:22:12
movie of like sword fighters and Hercules in that era. And I know that Christopher Nolan referenced it
00:22:18
>> as kind of that >> is not the Odyssey is a more serious kind of film, but that was still the
00:22:25
greatest of that genre. I doubt Odyssey could equal it. Maybe it could because of Christopher Nolan.
00:22:30
>> Jason and the Argonauts. That's what it was called, right? Jason the Argon as a
00:22:34
kid and it was like very like jerky but they had all these special effects which
00:22:38
was pretty cool back then. Right. >> Well, it's actual practical effect that they're moving in in my in minutia and
00:22:45
so it's actually creepier and scarier there. They still have not defeated a three-dimensional physical thing in the
00:22:52
frame that you shoot. CGI is still not quite there. If you look at the models in 2001, their models, if you look at
00:22:58
the uh the creatures, the way that it they would move, it was just creepier and weirder.
00:23:04
>> Oh, threedimensional is such a >> I would just tell people to look at look look it up Jason the Argonauts before
00:23:09
they see the Odyssey. Contrast and compare. >> I like 3D hasn't been defeated. I like
00:23:14
the way you worded that. >> No, a practical model. A practical physical model instead of just
00:23:21
computerenerated. If we took a poll in the comments, you do seem smarter than me and it would be probably 100%.
00:23:28
>> Well, this is funny because I'm actually I just got it's AI just got our latest
00:23:33
uh 20 minute review of this podcast. >> How's it going? >> This is what AI said.
00:23:41
>> AI just does a pause there. That's good. >> Well, it's just telling me to press that
00:23:45
button. >> That's nice. >> AI just says you press this button and this is the answer you will get. The
00:23:52
first five minutes was the review was this. [laughter] >> Is that a clap or water?
00:24:00
>> I think it's water, but it sounds kind of like a clap. That was after your first story about
00:24:06
the houses. >> Here's yours. [laughter] Fogorn. I think we should always have our places
00:24:18
set up and then we're just going about our life. Maybe we're at a restaurant having breakfast and we just get a call
00:24:23
and it's almost like Superman. We have to just sprint through the neighborhood or drive and start doing the podcast. We
00:24:30
should never do it on the fly. We're just >> any advanced warning. [laughter] >> I just saw today Jason no
00:24:36
>> in the Argonauts >> screwed me up with that. Yeah. Michael Strahan starting a podcast and a podcast
00:24:41
company and there's about seven other ones that are I'm like we were here at the very very beginning when there was
00:24:48
only three million. [laughter] I actually think it was like 1.8 million when we started because I remember we
00:24:56
talked about it when it was a million podcasts. It's nothing. No reason to get in million five million eight. Well,
00:25:02
maybe we could think about it but now it is like five probably. It's literally like getting today after all this time
00:25:08
and then you'll probably still make money. So >> we got in, we thought it was too late.
00:25:13
>> Now it's really too late and then in five years it'll be really really [laughter]
00:25:17
But people are doing it every day and some poke ahead, some pull back, some collapse. They say most of them collapse
00:25:24
after I think average seven episodes. >> Yeah, I think >> it's harder than it seems. It's harder
00:25:30
to do. Well, and also then, yeah, if you go to all this work and you look and you
00:25:36
realize your mother is the only one listening, there's one person and mom liked it. Um, yeah. Luckily, we get
00:25:43
millions and millions. But I ran into someone from Smartless. Who was it? Sean Hayes.
00:25:48
>> We laughed cuz we had done Smartless and then you had done Smartless with him.
00:25:53
>> So, we were talking pod. >> Wow. Did he have any insights? That guy knows a lot about podcasting.
00:25:59
>> It's funny. I mean, Arnette and Jason Jason Pabin I just saw in this Netflix movie over the break. He was good. And
00:26:06
of course, I like those guys and they're all funny in their own way. So, I kind of get obviously I'm sickened with
00:26:12
jealousy, but I I do get why it works. They're they're all good and and it's an interesting thing that started during co
00:26:20
they were smart. Whatever happened I I don't even know if they were smart. They were just like, "Let's just do this."
00:26:24
And then it those things happen like that and they blow up. Uh, yeah. They're good. They're good. Yeah. Uhuh.
00:26:31
>> Yeah. Oh, I got a story for you. Ready? >> All right. >> Is the guy's name Who's the guy? This
00:26:37
isn't even a funny No, I can't even tell. >> Doesn't have to be funny. We could be
00:26:40
real. >> This is just I don't know. >> This is what George W. Bush is saying about that.
00:26:47
>> George W. Bush gets his own god. >> Yeah, he's like, "Tell the story. Come on. Come on, man. Tell the story." face.
00:26:55
[laughter] >> We like to attack people. >> They should make him smiling and laughing cuz he's
00:27:03
>> Well, I've got all kinds of these freaking >> What the [ __ ] do you think I am? What do
00:27:06
you think I'm a joke? >> What do you mean? What are you talking about here? This just random. Didn't try
00:27:11
to put them together. They just came out. >> Oh, this reminds me of something for you
00:27:15
to do Obama. Ready? That I thought it was interesting. >> Not bad or good. What did you find
00:27:23
interesting? >> Okay. That Larry David >> Larry David >> goes from doing Seinfeld, the greatest
00:27:30
show. >> Yep. >> Arguably to Curb, which is arguably one of the next >> Good show. Good show. Never know what's
00:27:37
going to happen. Larry's funny. >> And I thought he's retired, but he teamed up with of all comedic people in
00:27:43
Obama. >> Oh, that's right. Yeah. Larry did a show for us for a Miracle Productions,
00:27:49
whatever it's called. >> Yeah. But Mr. Obama, Mr. Ex-President. Are you Do you know a lot about comedy?
00:27:55
I mean, yeah. Go ahead. State your case. How did this start? >> Well, Michelle and I always wanted to be
00:28:02
funny. We like Saturday Night Live. And David, we even like some of your stuff. Hollywood Minute was kind of mean, but
00:28:08
damn funny. >> I'm kind of glad I wasn't around at the time you were doing it. You might have
00:28:12
stung me. What kind of joke would you have said about me if you had Hollywood Minute today?
00:28:17
>> Don't put it back on me. Um [laughter] well uh I remember a good one I had about MC Hammer where I said
00:28:27
it's over. >> That's when he was at the tail end of his career. >> All right. I wouldn't do that to you,
00:28:32
Barack. >> I'm not an expert at comedy, but that sounded kind of funny. But Larry David's
00:28:36
kind of doing revolutionary people from America and they wear different wigs. And the funny part is it's not the
00:28:42
actual guy, it's a guy in a wig. You might think it's somebody else, but it's not. And Michelle and I will laugh,
00:28:49
laugh, and laugh until we can't laugh no more. We laugh all we can. >> Obama's notes are like walking going,
00:28:56
"Maybe something with bears." >> It's a funny thing. >> Bears are funny. >> Somebody comes in a room doesn't know
00:29:03
what's going on. They go, "What's going on?" People tell them what's going on and they're before they know what's
00:29:09
going on. That's the magic of comedy. That's what you do. What this podcast lacks is what Larry David has.
00:29:16
>> [laughter] >> Yeah. Wait. Funny. Now he's fading out. That was a good one to fade out on.
00:29:22
>> I know. That should have been a three-hour energy. >> No, but Jerry is also doing his own show
00:29:27
with JD Vance. >> Jerry Seinfeld. No. Okay. Now, now that's >> JD Vance is producing his [laughter]
00:29:35
>> I can't believe what JD's doing. We are not doing the right jokes. >> He's got good pitches. Uh
00:29:44
>> hey, [laughter] do something. Jimmy Fallon. >> Um, how about Okay, so remember that kid
00:29:50
Brian Johnson, he is keeping himself young. Heather, you know this story, right?
00:29:55
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. This guy was doing all this genetic stuff and he wants to live
00:29:59
to 160. Yeah, >> right. So, >> this sounds rude, but he has some sort of incurable stomach condition.
00:30:08
So >> I that's why I wasn't going to bring it up, but I think the the part I'm trying
00:30:13
to focus on is if you're at the doctor all the time, >> some [ __ ] blind spot. >> He he hadn't been checked. It had been
00:30:22
about going about 11 years, whatever he had >> and they found it. But you're getting
00:30:26
checked every which way but loose to make sure everything's working perfectly and then adding to that and then making
00:30:34
that stronger and everything in some blind spot. We could look it up, but there was something he had in his
00:30:41
stomach. And if he's had it for this long, it feels like he's in good enough shape where he could possibly beat it.
00:30:51
Well, if something is chronic is if it if it's life-threatening, but if it's just chronic, you know,
00:30:58
>> what's incurable that isn't cancer, you know? >> Well, you know, the the thing is until
00:31:04
it now just do Obama the whole time. Till AI figures a lot of things out. Genetics is strong. So, this is like a
00:31:11
this is what my >> cardiologist would always tell me this and he was from India, PK Shock, great
00:31:19
friend. uh this man comes to the doctor and uh the doc he says I want to I don't
00:31:27
know what I should do I want to live a long time and the doctor says um what about your parents and he says my
00:31:35
parents both died when they were 40 the doctor said do whatever you want [laughter]
00:31:43
smoke drink it's like I I got to 40 >> well the genetic etics are so strong. I forgot the joke. I messed it up. I'm
00:31:53
sorry. I got to give myself a bad review. >> Yeah. >> No, that little thing. I don't like it
00:32:00
because I can't figure it out. >> But basically, the idea is like you can do everything perfect. Jesus Christ.
00:32:07
>> Still going on. >> It won't stop. >> What a burn. >> What is that piece of [ __ ]
00:32:16
>> This is AI since that's what our podcast sounds like. your [laughter] jackbox.
00:32:21
>> The point is is that they were identical twins, >> two women. One smoked, drank, partied,
00:32:28
ate, boom. The other was perfect water. They both died at 92, two weeks apart because they had the same genealogy.
00:32:37
>> They're going to have to beat that soon. That's the next thing. But I felt bad
00:32:40
for this guy. I think I think if I remember the quote was, "The stomach was eating itself." whatever that meant.
00:32:47
>> The lining of his stomach >> maybe. >> Yeah. Um, >> so what a bummer because >> you know it's not worse or better than
00:32:56
anyone else out there trying to keep going but that he was putting so much effort.
00:33:02
>> Well, he was making it his whole existence, right? Blood transfusions and his whole identity was
00:33:08
>> and he ran with it. >> Um, also here's but on a lighter note, here's my impression of
00:33:15
Did you know that the World Cup is still going on? It's all [ __ ] summer. I didn't know.
00:33:19
>> So, yeah. Yeah. >> And USA, in case anyone taped it. >> We don't want to give it away. If you
00:33:26
taped it, it'll be It was last week, but go ahead. >> Remember when they played Blasny and
00:33:30
Lzen Ganzia? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. They played two countries at once and they they beat him. Um, also that
00:33:39
was that joke. And then also, oh, here's the guy on the goal like this. you know, they line up to block
00:33:45
the kicker on a penalty. >> Mhm. >> And the trick is you want to take it right in the noggin because you want to
00:33:51
block it. So, they all jump at the same time, >> right? >> And so, I saw it's it's cool because
00:33:58
they're all like this, "Please hit me." And then and then the ball goes around him. And then when they do the slow
00:34:04
motion, the guy goes up and he goes, "Please don't hit me." And then he lands. Oh, I
00:34:13
tried my best. [laughter] >> Do you understand soccer at all? >> I got that part. Um, no. I know that one
00:34:23
team. >> Yeah, but [clears throat] I I I even finally got enough to where they were on
00:34:30
the side in that last USA game where they really laid down and took it, but the guy kicks it over the middle and
00:34:36
there's one guy that just kicks it right in. I'm like, it shouldn't be that easy.
00:34:40
>> And it's not. Usually it just and they missed and they missed and now we're two
00:34:44
hours in into this the game is scoreless. But when they when Messi hits it and it kind of winds around coming
00:34:51
down right in front of the net and then his guy's right there and just goes dink
00:34:56
right in. That's pretty cool. I I I appreciate the athleticism and uh of sprinting and kicking and then getting
00:35:03
it and but as a an American, you have to get past the idea pick up the [ __ ] ball.
00:35:11
>> Yeah, I know. [laughter] Or blocking with your arm. I think there should be more bicycle kicks. Is it my
00:35:16
imagination there's less bicycle kicks? >> Those are cool. Or when the guy just goes inverted, goes upside down and
00:35:23
kicks it. You know, >> I think that's kind of a bic. It's kind of the same thing. Bobby, my uh guy,
00:35:28
goes on the road with me and writes with me, Bobby Miiamoto. He has a scar because he played all the way
00:35:34
>> into college and he >> ended his career in a bicycle kick because he landed on his shoulder and
00:35:40
>> Oh, because you're Yeah. >> Never quite >> got that shimmy back. >> Yeah, that'll do it.
00:35:47
>> That killed an audition for >> and compression don't go well together. >> God, I'm okay with that. Thanks
00:35:53
>> Mike's shirt today. It's good color. >> This is the best you've ever looked in
00:35:56
the podcast. [laughter] I ironically >> I love it. I la I just came I ran from Jersey Mike.
00:36:04
>> Yeah, you were like Dustin Hoffman and the graduate, you know, running down the
00:36:09
street to get to the chick in the chapel. Okay. >> Oh, wait. [snorts] I got two things. I
00:36:13
know we're doing five hour buzzing around, but I want to hear about >> That's right. I have nothing.
00:36:17
Let's hear your first story about the name game big event on the farm. Almost forgot.
00:36:24
>> Right. We have a baby horse. >> Is it called a Is it called a loaf or a fo or a coal or something?
00:36:34
>> I'm not sure. I call it the little fell. [laughter] >> Yeah. Hey, little fella.
00:36:38
>> There's a mare and a fowl and a fo. >> Yeah. >> But [snorts] um >> a fowl. >> Yeah. Didn't I already tell this?
00:36:46
>> Good, right? No, you said it came out. >> Yeah. >> You helped it out. >> Yeah. Well, um, our caretaker Jose it's
00:36:55
technically his horses, but they live with us, so we're proprietary about them. But now the baby horse at this
00:37:05
point is like six or seven days old and it's galloping all all over the pasture.
00:37:12
Yeah. >> Okay, good. and we were putting in a new fence and the the three horses got a
00:37:17
jailbreak at like 5:30 a.m. They got through the other little fence and they're just running around the
00:37:23
property. >> They're down by Chili's. They found him down [laughter] by Chili. >> Yeah, they're they're on the 101 asking
00:37:29
where's David Spade's house. [laughter] >> Go to Hollywood, >> but it has not been named. Um
00:37:37
>> I liked your possible name. possible name um was suggested that because in the early days the baby was weak, it
00:37:47
wasn't getting food, but it was trying to get stand up and it would do these Pratt falls over and over again. So,
00:37:52
possibly floating around is naming the baby horse Charlie Chaplain. >> I don't mind that because it would turn
00:37:59
into Charlie, which is a cute name >> or Chucky or Chuck >> Chaz. Uh, also I saw that you put out on
00:38:06
Twitter. What should we name it? Really cute picture of the horse. >> And I liked Whitney's was Whitney
00:38:12
Cummings said Dusty. That wasn't bad. >> Well, someone said David Spade and I said we think alike. I said, but there's
00:38:20
300 horses named David Spade. >> Yeah, there's so many. >> So many people have named either Joe
00:38:26
Dirt or David Spade. >> Spudley. >> That's nice of Whitney. Oh, yeah. Dusty's kind of cool. were jumping in
00:38:32
and I I heard a couple good ones, >> but uh I do like Charlie Chaplan. Um >> I just like horses. I didn't really
00:38:40
understand, you know, how kind of magical they are. You know, they don't have a higher consciousness. You
00:38:47
understand? You know, they're just pure. They're not like worried about how they
00:38:52
look and stuff. I did see a actual baby, not a horse baby, but >> Mhm. >> And they put it up to the horse and this
00:38:59
horse is just letting the baby pet it. And I think they just know this isn't the bad guy. So they let the baby do
00:39:07
whatever. And the baby was like giggling. It's very cute. >> Well, the baby and the horse and the
00:39:11
mama horse are just like this pretty much. >> Oh, that's just follows just Yeah. And
00:39:18
is the other horse that's in the pasture is sort of a loner now. She's been kind
00:39:22
of ostracized. Rojo is her name. So, we kind of make sure because the other one's proprietary about resources. We go
00:39:29
up to the fence to feed them. She gets upset if Rojo gets her. So, I fe I'm feeding Mrosa and then uh Paul is
00:39:37
feeding Rojo. [laughter] >> I guess we didn't have a contest to name them. >> For Christ sakes, that's
00:39:46
>> Mrosa. Isn't that a detective show from the 70s? [laughter] like manic. >> No, [laughter]
00:39:55
[gasps] mroa on ABC right after the love boat. McGrder and Loud. Give a comedian
00:40:02
a name [laughter] and you got like two minutes of right back to the 70s TV shows are always good.
00:40:09
>> Maddox an all new Mrosa. >> Yeah. >> Um they're really fun. They're they're uppers. They're, you know, they're cool.
00:40:17
Yeah. Thanks, Look, David, there are some things in life you just want to keep private, like
00:40:24
your browser history, right? You don't want everyone or a questionable swimsuit choice, FYI.
00:40:32
>> But when it comes to your phone bill, total transparency is everything. I got
00:40:37
to be honest, that's why I really do. I love Mint Mobile. >> Yeah. Listen, my if I anything ever
00:40:42
happens to me, please drive to my house and burn my laptop. Um, they looked at everything. These guys at Mint Mobile,
00:40:49
they looked at everything wrong with the wireless industry, and they actually fixed it. They uh offering premium
00:40:54
wireless for just 15 bucks a month. You get the uh blazing fast data. You get unlimited talk and text on the nation's
00:41:03
largest 5G network without any hidden gotchas. >> That's they usually have. [laughter]
00:41:09
It's incredibly easy to switch. Keep your current phone. >> You can have your same phone number.
00:41:14
Mine's bad, by the way. I would change it. Uh, and then choose a 3, 6, or 12 month plan to completely say goodbye to
00:41:22
>> that annoying monthly bill. >> You know, it is time to ditch those overpriced carriers. Come on, people. To
00:41:31
get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month. Is anything 15 bucks a month anymore?
00:41:38
>> Nothing. Go to mintmobile.com/flywall. That's mintmobile.com/flywall. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a
00:41:50
month at mintmobile.comflywall. That's it. There's no catch, right, David? >> Upfront payment of 45 bucks for 3
00:41:58
months, 90 for 6 months or 180 for 12 months. Plan required $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra.
00:42:07
Initial plan term only. Greater than 50GB may be slow when network is busy. includes up to 20GB hotspot capable
00:42:16
device required. Availability, speed, and coverage varies. You just go to mintmobile.com.
00:42:23
All your answers are there. >> That's mints. They're not just for after dinner. >> Now, it's time for buzzing around.
00:42:32
Applause. Applause. >> But sometimes we'll text a little bit and you'll suggest and I I have an idea.
00:42:37
But literally right now, I have no idea in my head at all. We We will cobble one
00:42:42
together. Sponsored by Five Energy's Firework freeze flavor. Ignite your taste buds. I know you're getting more
00:42:48
nervous. Uh with a red, white, blue freezer pop classic. Reimagined as a delicious firework freeze. Five energy
00:42:56
shot. Fine. Firework freeze shots online at five energy.com or Amazon >> today. Okay. So that
00:43:04
>> that's that. >> That and I'm going to go back to you. And now let me see what are my what are
00:43:12
some old >> some of my puppets. >> Oh maybe [laughter] this >> is that Alfred Hitchcock.
00:43:19
>> Alfred Hitchcock one a little younger. [laughter] >> I know. Oh yeah. They're all ancient.
00:43:26
[gasps] Well I do have Yeah, I have different ones. Yeah. >> Okay. Maybe we have Trump kind of
00:43:32
talking about the latest crisis dealing with the used car dealership guys in Iran.
00:43:39
Okay, >> bro. Bro, we don't have a deal yet, bro. [laughter] [gasps] >> Okay. Trump and Iran. And then maybe you
00:43:47
could throw in >> Trump and I ran. >> Just like him talking about Iran because as of press time right now,
00:43:54
>> the deal's off. >> Deal's off. >> Maybe just do Trump this time. >> I'll start out with this.
00:44:03
>> Well, maybe you can throw in uh few other president. two other presidents. >> Oh. Oh, you got Oh, he says Charles
00:44:11
Barkley Stallone and Obama playing golf. >> That's terrible. That's terrible. >> This is terrible.
00:44:17
>> Terrible. >> He wasn't wedding Barkley because he played golf. >> I don't know what he's talking about
00:44:22
with this. I don't Come on. Come on. >> You got a case of the Yips. No. >> The Yips.
00:44:29
>> The Yips. Remember that? The Yips. They got the Yips. >> The Yips. The Yips is a great band from
00:44:36
the 70s. The deal's off. I'll tell you I'll tell you this. The deal's off. You were nice. You weren't nice. First you
00:44:42
were nice. Now you're not nice. You got cute. >> You got cute. If you weren't cute,
00:44:47
nothing would happen. But you got cute. So about a drum pop to your head. >> You got cute. You shouldn't have got
00:44:53
cute. >> Where did cute go? That's a great >> That was what he said once about them.
00:44:59
If they If they get cute, you know, they get cute, we'll drop a bomb right in the
00:45:03
head, you know. But my dad tell me, "Don't get cute. >> Don't get cute." Yeah. >> Don't get smart. Don't get cute. I'm
00:45:09
like, "Those are the two things I want to be. Cute and smart." >> Okay, let's do this one. I'll do Greg's
00:45:15
Charles Barkley's Sylvester Obama playing golf. We'll do a quick one of that again.
00:45:21
Oh, damn. I missed it. Oh, that was just terrible. That was terrible. That's all
00:45:25
I got is the one word from >> terrible is so funny. >> That's a terrible golf shot. Terrible.
00:45:31
What do you think? deal. You know, you brought your head up. You know, you got to keep your head down. You know what
00:45:36
I'm talking about. >> Well, I don't >> This This putt's going to ho your appointment. We got a guest. [laughter]
00:45:42
We got a guest. He's going to rock. You're not allowed in the gym. No one. >> Don't give yourself an So, everything's
00:45:53
going to hurt you permanently. I'm interviewing you now. What do you mean when you say it's going to hurt you
00:45:57
permanently? What? What are you talking about? Every time you >> Because he's going to fight Mr. te and
00:46:02
he's going to hit him so hard it's going to hurt him permanent. >> Well, I'm taking I'm take I'm taking a
00:46:06
page from David Sp. We're going to hurt him permanently if they don't get their act together. We know how to hurt him.
00:46:12
We're going to do it. We're going to do it. [clears throat] >> That's great. All right, that's good.
00:46:18
>> That was one of the greatest. >> That's one of the great that was buzzing around if you didn't know it. And uh
00:46:24
sponsored by five energy's firework freeze flavor. The iconic red, white, blue freezer pop flavor you crave. with
00:46:31
none of the sugar. Uh, spark a taste. >> That's nice. All the >> the firework freeze five energy. Yeah.
00:46:38
Keep going. Available online at five energy.com and Amazon. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> Interesting.
00:46:47
>> We got to get Barkley on. I sort of knew Barkley in the old days. You know, we
00:46:50
got Luke Wilson coming on, so that'll be really fun. >> That's awesome. Yeah, Barkley would be
00:46:55
great. He hosted SNL. >> Actually, I was there when he hosted one of them. I mean, if
00:47:01
>> I think I signed the book, so I think somehow I was coming through that show,
00:47:06
but I wasn't on the show. I don't know. >> I know we did Gap Girls and he was we
00:47:11
made him a girl, >> a gap girl with long braids that >> I met the Gap and I'd say,
00:47:18
"Oh, we all played there was a slumber party and we played spin the bottle and I w up making out with a chick." And
00:47:25
then I go, "Oh my god, she's here." And it was Barkley as a girl. [laughter] like, "Oh, hey, it's don't let's not be
00:47:31
weird about that." >> The crowd went crazy. >> Crazy. They went wow. >> Uh, okay. And Stallone, I'd like to get
00:47:39
on. >> Uh, Stallone's awesome. I was just actually watched Cliffhanger in the last
00:47:46
week where he's he's up on the mountain. Hey, hang on to the rope. Hang on. Hey,
00:47:52
you better hang on to the rope. They're going to drop you down there. >> Look at me when I'm doing the frame. I'm
00:47:58
hanging. Oh, >> it's like this. >> And John Lithgow was the bad guy was amazing. So,
00:48:06
>> I think I like I over the top is where it got a little itchy when he was the under
00:48:14
uh the ch the um you know arm wrestler that was >> oh that that yeah he was the professional arm wrestler
00:48:21
>> wanted to wrestle with and there's always stakes the money to buy a new truck because I got my kid is deaf or
00:48:27
something. [laughter] [gasps] Sloan's movies are just nice and clear e easily to digestible. That's what's fun
00:48:36
about them, you know. >> Yeah. I got to win this tournament and my kid going to get an operation.
00:48:41
>> Going to get a coar implant implant. >> Olear. >> Cockler. >> A cockler. All right.
00:48:49
Wins. And the kid looks over and he goes, kid goes, I don't know. Did you win? I I didn't hear the thumb, but I
00:48:54
don't know. I can't hear the crowd. [laughter] And he goes, [clears throat] [panting]
00:48:59
>> the kid goes, "Yay." Turn it up. >> It's I would I would have been terrible at that. [laughter]
00:49:07
>> You like that noise? It's for a UFO. >> That is good. I guess they're threatening to come out and tell us
00:49:13
something, but I haven't heard anything. >> I've heard those. >> The government, they keep saying that.
00:49:18
>> I wouldn't I would I'm still scared of UFOs, even though I look at them all the
00:49:22
time. >> Okay, so now Oh, no. Oh. [laughter] Oh. What is this? Night gallery. >> No one does. Good even in my name's
00:49:35
Alfred Hitchcock. What you've seen on this podcast is a terrible, terrible affront to humanity.
00:49:43
Worse than murder. Worse than any crime you could ever. That's right. I'm talking to you, David Spade. Well,
00:49:52
should I say Joe De >> sounds like Michael Kaine. I don't know. Alfred Iscock was famous back in the
00:50:00
1960s. He directed Psycho. So, don't write us letters. >> Oh, [ __ ] We better do a couple news
00:50:06
stories. We're getting late in the game. We're >> Oh. Oh, news story. I thought, okay,
00:50:10
>> are we over? We're almost done. Let's just see. >> Okay. Schools had to remove analog
00:50:14
clocks because teens couldn't tell time. I kind of believe this. Um, yeah, that would make sense. Their
00:50:23
whole life it's just been digital on their phone. >> They don't know cursive. [clears throat]
00:50:27
>> I was joking the other night that the the uh Super Bowl has to get rid of Roman numerals because no one [ __ ]
00:50:33
knows what they, you know, kids don't know real numbers. They don't know clock. You think they know what? They're
00:50:37
like MCX CX Charlie. They don't know anything. [laughter] I go Rome. They don't use them in Rome.
00:50:43
I mean, guys, it's over. It's over on Rome. >> Yeah. Let's let go of that particular
00:50:48
motif of history. All right, >> that's a wrap. >> Yeah, don't do the don't do the numbers
00:50:53
in Apache. All right, [laughter] >> the [clears throat] Super Bowl is the only one still clinging on to the Roman
00:50:58
numeral >> traditions. >> All right, babe. Next story. >> That was a good one. >> That was good. See,
00:51:05
>> dumb kid story. I like it. [laughter] >> All right, this is >> Here we go. >> I can't read it.
00:51:14
Uh uh if you do this, please let me know. [screaming] >> Oh, this is a wedding. >> I would walk faster if I was fully on
00:51:23
fire. >> Well, isn't that CGI? >> Are they stunt [screaming] men or something? >> Stomp men get married. I'm guarantee it.
00:51:31
>> But still, that was too long to like his That's >> a good look. I mean, even if I thought first of all
00:51:40
they just got accidentally lit on fire, but you're not hustling enough. And even
00:51:45
if you're a stunt man, I'd sort of go, did we get it? We got the picture. Put me out.
00:51:53
It was always kind of interesting. You're on a movie set and someone's going to get lit on fire.
00:51:58
>> That's so true. >> There was a lot of rules. There was a some some tension, >> you know,
00:52:04
>> and you'd say to the stunt man, "You ready?" You walk up cuz you're an actor and they have to talk to you. You ready?
00:52:09
And they're like, "Huh? Yeah, get out of my way, dude." You're like, "Yeah, I wouldn't do it." [laughter]
00:52:15
>> I once was talking to my stunt double and he was about to take a car hit and I'm just standing next to him like, "I'd
00:52:20
do it." You know, but insurance, you know? >> I'm over there like [ __ ] Miss Prris
00:52:25
going, >> "Can you walk down the stairs for me after this?" >> You have high heels on for no reason.
00:52:31
[laughter] >> I had to do a in the wrong Missy. I had to do a handstand. I think when I'm with
00:52:36
this girl, I get nervous. I show her I can do a handstands and then I actually walk and I hit a window and flop out and
00:52:42
drop two stories. And uh the guy had to do it. I had to do a handstand and then the guy had to walk and then fall out
00:52:49
the window. And he did it like a champ and then racked up so many views on tick tock. [laughter]
00:52:57
>> Don't add up to monetary money, but no, but some a little you get a taste. >> Do one more. God, we really we really BS
00:53:05
and then the news gets >> gets pushed aside. >> I know the clips that we have extra for
00:53:10
next week. All right, >> see what Let's see what this [ __ ] is. >> Oh, I like this. So, a guy comes in a
00:53:18
bar. Let's play it again. Start from the top. >> The guy comes in a bar >> and he's being an [ __ ] Okay. And so,
00:53:25
the bouncer says, "Stop." The guy goes, "Don't don't touch me." And the bouncer doesn't give a [ __ ] And then he says,
00:53:33
Oh, you're close. And >> why are you Why are you touching me? >> I'm not touching you,
00:53:38
>> Mr. Bald man. Why are you touching me? You >> First of all, that's uh You cannot call
00:53:42
me bald. But >> you are bald, Mr. Clean. So why would >> I was trying to order food. Why are you
00:53:46
touching me? >> I'm not touching you. >> Want to get folded like a lawn chair right now?
00:53:50
>> What? >> I do jiu-jitsu. >> Yes, I do. >> You do? >> Yes. Do you show me this move?
00:53:56
>> Keep touching me. Keep touching me. [laughter] Well, >> so far I'm very intrigued.
00:54:04
Show me. >> No, my boy, you're in trouble. The confidence my man walked up with that
00:54:13
after he threatened him. That was way too calm of a reaction. Bre said, "Do you know?"
00:54:19
>> Bre had a smile on his face like he been waiting for someone to try to play with
00:54:22
him. >> And the cherry on show with the picture of him. Watch it again. uninstall,
00:54:31
homie. >> He pulls out his phone and his screen saver is him at a tournament with two
00:54:36
other jiu-jitsu guys with medals and the guy talking goes, "Oh." >> So, here's my question. So, there wasn't
00:54:43
an actual fight. He was just intimidated. >> He was like, "Oh, you want to fight me?"
00:54:49
"Oh, jiu-jitsu. Yeah, I love it. I love it so much I teach it." And the guy was like, "Oh,
00:54:56
[clears throat] sure." No, >> no. Step away. You know, I was a bit rude because I, you know, damn big. I uh
00:55:02
ate ate a chili pepper a half hour ago in the, you know, nauseous >> working on my temper.
00:55:09
>> Yeah. Well, I you got to think of your thing. You would say, well, I'll do it
00:55:13
to you. >> Hey, man. Hey, look at you shaved temple. What's your problem, dude? Get
00:55:19
me a table. >> You know shu shishu. >> Do you have a shihu shihoo dog? >> Oh, I'm sorry, man. And you're too
00:55:27
>> sure my shih tzu dog. [laughter] >> Hey, I apologize. >> I love me gets excited. The guy keeps
00:55:34
freezing it. >> Well, Mr. Clean, you want to get folded in half? Was pretty good.
00:55:40
>> You should have beat him up anyway just for saying that. >> Yeah, >> you don't call me Mr. Clean. You call me
00:55:45
Mr. Dirt. >> But I'm If I'm ever threatened anywhere, you know, >> what do you say?
00:55:50
>> I say you know what? And I go, "Put you." [laughter] >> You know gazite. What? You know gazite?
00:55:59
What? >> You know, do you know Atu? [laughter] >> Oh boy. Maybe we should end on that. 10
00:56:05
out of 10. >> Yeah. Yeah. That probably took baked the cake on this part. >> That bake. Did that bake the cake?
00:56:18
>> We should meet the listener that's still here at the last >> [laughter] >> No, this is where the gold is. The
00:56:25
sloppy gold is at the end because we get a little sloppy. >> Yeah, because we're we're tired. We're a
00:56:30
little We're punchy. Not tired. Punchy. That's right. >> I've been loading boxes all day.
00:56:36
>> Now you got to go back to unpacking some kind of >> frying pan here. Iron here.
00:56:44
>> It's the only water I get all day. At >> least you have good your little studio
00:56:48
is pretty cool now. Yeah, I got the studio and we might do it in here one day and we have a
00:56:53
possible band coming on soon and they wanted me, you five in here and I'm like I don't know if we [laughter] can fit in
00:57:00
the company. >> Oh wow. Can't even fit five. >> I think we could. We've never done five
00:57:05
people total. >> H >> who was the last one in the studio go? Was it Brendan Frasier?
00:57:14
>> Probably like maybe >> see pressure everybody. it. It's a really good movie or you can get it on
00:57:21
live streaming. It's on streaming. Sorry. [snorts] >> I know. Um it's a very cool movie.
00:57:28
It's great. >> I think Bus Boys is going to one of these streamers in November. I'll tell
00:57:34
you more later. >> So, first the theatrical release, then whatever it's doing now, and then it'll
00:57:40
officially have a home on a streamer. >> Yes. >> Damn. Monetized much? >> Uh and I'll tell you about something
00:57:47
animated next week. But anyway, thank you for coming, Dana. Thanks for coming. My home house. Sorry you had to do this
00:57:52
in the other room at my new house. >> No, I'm glad. I was just uh somewhere and someone tapped me on my shoulder and
00:57:58
said, "Get in the room and do the podcast." I said, "Okay." [laughter] >> I think people are going to ask for more
00:58:02
horse videos. So, next week have something ready. >> Oh, I'll do I I could do a ton
00:58:06
>> little clip, you know, something >> if they if they want to see how the horse evolves. I mean, every 10 days is
00:58:12
be a different horse. >> I think that horse that picture of the two was so nice the other day. Gives you
00:58:17
good vibes. So, anything about the horse people like it's nice vibes. >> Well, yeah. It's the opposite of the
00:58:23
crazy world we live in. It's just a sweet horse. >> Go on. And do not get me started.
00:58:28
>> Mhm. >> Uh, okay, buddy. Bye, guys. Thank you. >> Bye, everybody. Thanks for coming.
00:58:38
>> All right. Listen, if you're enjoying the fly on the wall, of course, hopefully you are, click follow. We
00:58:43
don't want to be desperate, but obviously smash that goddang button on your favorite podcast app.
00:58:49
>> Leave a review, a good one. >> Leave a fivestar rating, nothing else. >> Whoops.
00:58:54
>> And maybe even share an episode with a friend. If you're watching this [music]
00:58:58
episode on YouTube, please subscribe. Dana, what do you think? >> I'm going to tell you this right now.
00:59:03
Hear me now. Believe me later. [laughter] Fly in the Wall, believe it or not, is
00:59:08
presented by Odyssey and executive produced by, hold for it, Dana Carvey and David Spade, or David Spade and Dana
00:59:16
Carvey. We don't write this stuff, [music] Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman, and Leah Reese Dennis. The show is
00:59:24
edited by Evan Cox with production [music] support from Phil Sweet Tech. Talent production and booking by Sophia
00:59:32
Leapor.