00:00:00
[Music] people want to watch a baseball game they don't want to see a g yeah like this you're getting yelled at by the Umpire you have a boner he's like I
00:00:12
don't know I'm nervous why do you want see through pants I don't want anyone to see my
00:00:22
anything this just in right before I got on this Zoom Oprah Winfrey has stepped down from the board Bo of Weight Watchers after you know coming out as an
00:00:35
OIC user whoa and she said after 40 years heroically trying to fight it Oprah 40 years she said it's not about will power it starts in the brain so
00:00:49
what are you going to do you're GNA wave food for a decade or just quiet down that part of your brain that says cookie cookie cookie so anyway good on Oprah congratulations she stepped down off the
00:01:01
scale off the scale she doesn't need it anymore that's so crazy like when you're
00:01:06
at a party no there she is right now yeah you're at a party David you're just thinking Tito neat Tito neat Tito NE
00:01:13
cookie cookie Tito Tios yeah she's cookie cook cookie Tito but anyway she stepped down good
00:01:20
that was a nice fast grab on GRE part our producer put that image up you know when I'm when I'm at a party I'm like um Tito Tito but it's usually because I'm
00:01:32
sitting with Tito Jackson from the Jackson so dumb why does my forehead I'm thinking I'm thinking I'm thinking Corona Corona
00:01:42
because I'm sitting with Bob Corona there you go or B Billy superpuro I don't I we have to do our framing this is just we're just a couple of
00:01:56
[ __ ] I think that was the number one comment liked yeah the shaking of can Li earthquake well and again I should point out that that's a long bit that the
00:02:09
topper is where did the Japanese accent come from because for two million years nobody had language everybody pointed and grunted and I happened to do the
00:02:20
Japanese the French one is that some french guy was sitting around talking to people going pointing at the water and then that sort of cocky disdain came
00:02:31
through because they couldn't get it so that's where the French accet came for my people the Scandinavians aren't very bright so they're
00:02:42
like so that's I mean I'm TR I'm just stay in the office let's go back to Oprah I'm so happy for her anyway ohic
00:02:52
she was she saying look I give up on trying I'm just taking a drug now well or or you could call her medication my cholesterol was 6,000 until I took a pill it's just
00:03:06
progress it's progress you know it does help you from doing all the hard work yeah it's it's the dopamine response is just talking to you talking to you and so you have to just White Knuckle it
00:03:18
rather than take a little a little pill David well food is fun come I agree food
00:03:24
is fun yeah you just you want to control it not have it control you that's the that's the T of my new book by the way
00:03:33
um so Biden comes out you know the White House doctor said he didn't give him a cognitive test because he quote didn't need it and he's strong as an ox and ready to go no way no way the doctor he
00:03:48
hired yeah well no it's just but the it's not even Biden and that doctor what is the doctor supposed to say come out
00:03:55
to the Press what do you think of the leader of the Free World H not looking good man it's not uh not what I hop uh
00:04:03
can he make it I think so we're going to pack him in ice twice a day for circulation we'll give him an IV drip of
00:04:10
uh prevan and we'll probably get him in a special suit it'll inflate in case of a fall and then we'll get a i AI chip in his head so he has cognitive po up
00:04:21
anyway he wears a suit that FL blows up when he falls down so he doesn't get yeah they have the technology to have a
00:04:29
suit that will just detect you know yeah yeah it's a great idea actually come on
00:04:35
I'm fit and able to carry out the duty so that kind of ends the whole Biden's not good enough strong enough and like
00:04:43
we're just not we just don't even believe our eyes the doctors I could give him an eyeball test I don't even
00:04:48
have to be a doctor I'm just like stay inside let someone else order for you at Wendy's and uh just relax well this this
00:04:57
is another rumor that I don't know if is true but by Biden and Trump were at the border today
00:05:03
actually and um I guess they kind of ran into each other and they decided to run
00:05:09
together because they're so hated so they've joined forces to run as a nobody likes us Joe yeah we're GNA do it together two of us two of us will
00:05:21
over 40% of the vote we're going to do it together Joe we got to do it I won't even do the bit but anyway that's I like
00:05:28
it it was good out of bits no we don't do bits on this show we talk we chat we laugh uh yeah I will tell you about my weekend I am I decide to
00:05:41
support the Arts I like to go to a movie at the Grove now and then and I go to the Grove to see Argy now before you say anything I said you know Argy has cool
00:05:55
people in it I just saw the poster and I didn't even look that long I go I'm just going to see it that's how I do it I
00:06:00
don't watch the preview really I don't want to figure out the the three good parts of it I don't want to see those
00:06:06
cuz if it's bad I don't want to see the only good parts so I thought it looks cool I'll just see it so on a night off
00:06:13
I grab a buddy I said let's just go see Argy I've kept myself away from any information about it right so I go and
00:06:22
it's raining so I valet at the Grove and the guy goes Mr David what how long you
00:06:28
going to be and I said well I'm going to do dinner in a movie and he goes oh what movie and and before I say anything I
00:06:36
don't want any spoilers I don't want already bought the tickets just go yeah yeah I've already bought the tickets all
00:06:41
set up so I say oh I don't want to know anything and he goes no no and I go Argy
00:06:47
and he goes okay good good have fun and I'm like you paused I don't want a glowing review but I don't a not review the not review was even worse he just goes
00:07:00
okay well have fun I'm like I don't like it right so then I go to Cheesecake Factory and the same goddamn thing there's a waiter there that sees every movie and he always asks me but he knows
00:07:12
so he goes hey going to the movies tonight and I go yes but you know the deal and he goes mhm I he goes what are
00:07:18
you gonna see and I go Argy and he goes okay okay uh so you're going to have you're going to have fun and I'm like it's sickening cuz now I'm already getting a Vibe right I'm already no
00:07:32
one's raving no one cuz I have before said oh I'm seeing Dune or something and they go you're gonna love it I'm sorry you're gonna love it I'm sorry it'll be great I'll just insert this I've never
00:07:43
heard of Argy didn't wasn't it from it didn't it didn't jump off the chart wasn't there Ben um I thought there was a movie called argile in 2008 Ben Affleck
00:07:55
directed but maybe not I don't know oh no that was our go okay all right so I'm not so this is our guile which should have been Argo I liked Argo so the third
00:08:06
step of this is I'm going into the Grove and there's a bar there and I forgot they have a bar and so I'm a little bit
00:08:13
of a uhoh Suzie yeah so I go in I say I might have a few knocks so said you guys
00:08:20
got a yeah teos I go let me going okay so I just go [ __ ] I'm just going to grab
00:08:27
D Coke and drink on the I didn't even plan this you've already had a great time this is go it's the whole idea of
00:08:34
going to the movie is just fun I zone out so they go oh 20 bucks and this is what happens Dana slow motion I go to sign the thing give that Hefty 2% tip
00:08:47
and then 20 she goes is it 20 now two is more than enough I'm kidding so I go Dane I've been with you you give like 12 I tip a
00:09:01
lot I don't know I I grew up poor so you know I know I well I tip good so I said
00:09:06
I go here you go I'm Sig and I'm looking down and not paying attention she goes oh what movie you seeing I go AR and she
00:09:12
goes oof I go because I didn't give her any warning and I go what and she goes that thing [ __ ] sucked I go God damn I was almost in the
00:09:23
theater and this person at a left field I go oh come on I'm going to see the movie you you can't say that to people
00:09:30
and she goes well I mean it's long why is that positive is that all you can come up with it's long and then she goes it's good cinema you know it's a fun ride you want to have a fun ride well
00:09:43
well let me just insert this there's one thing worse than that and that's when everyone says man [ __ ] man it's one of the best movies ever made I mean oh yeah they I
00:09:56
was in a theater with Dennis Miller in New York I may have said this on some podcast with you but right we're seeing
00:10:02
Field of Dreams which is a great movie with Kevin Cosner but as it goes down right as it goes down Dennis go one of
00:10:10
the best movies I've ever seen in my life car and then the whole in the beginning
00:10:15
I'm going is this the best movie I've ever seen it's really good so it's great they said it sucks so finish your story
00:10:20
because my suspicion is you loved it go ahead that kind of was the story it did suck but it was It was kind of fun because I said now like you said I had I
00:10:32
knew I'd hate it and then I go it's not bad it's kind of goofy and stupid but it was more and that might have been my
00:10:39
lesson in life she undercut it took my legs out I walked in going I already paid for the ticket come on Argo I know you're bad Argy and then I start to go
00:10:50
it's like listening to the song I go not bad so I okay expect but it was and it cost like 200 quillion dollars I go that's why they're mad it wasn't bad but
00:11:02
for 200 listen here's my point about movies 99% of it because my guilty pre pleasure
00:11:10
was always 10 a.m. matinees you're in a dark room pitch black no one's around you no one's talking you have to turn your phone off and then there's colored pictures and voices and things moving
00:11:22
around I like it that's that's just the one% the other thing is like okay I'm here I can't [ __ ] do anything because
00:11:28
every other second in life MH this is really this is a wisdom alert this thing controls you so it's so beautiful right
00:11:35
now it's off I checked it right before and I'll check it after hang on do you mind I don't sometimes even though I've
00:11:41
known you a long time I get just a tiny bit Star Struck can I just do a quick selfie just a big big David Spade smile
00:11:50
okay you take I thought you taking a selfie of yourself you had a really nice time I had a um problem well two things
00:11:59
happen I I I hike out on these desolate roads in the forest it's just me and then you see all these cows and there are thousand pounds even though they're gentle but I didn't know how you're supposed to approach cows like 20 giant
00:12:11
cows and it's just me walking by myself so I start going wo clapping and whistling like their dogs and they
00:12:17
literally are so scared they dive off almost a cliff they're like down these why so then I was told don't get eye contact with them now when I see a
00:12:29
whole bunch of them right on the road I just put my head down and I walk really slowly it's like a spy movie and I don't
00:12:36
want to hit a button or something and I go right past him it's been beautiful you basically have to act like a cow you
00:12:41
have to but then I saw a woman a middle-aged woman who was squatting with her trousers down behind a little tiny
00:12:49
little tiny tree and I come up on her no one's around you know what's up I was trying to get by her how's it going what do you say she just she just Converses says what's up you hiking yeah going up
00:13:01
this way yeah I'll leave the gate open for you okay all right I I didn't see anything just some lady peing well
00:13:09
that's I didn't want to say peen but people in the woods David I mean you're always in a big city and you need the laboratory to yourself and your your
00:13:15
crew clears it out but in the woods you just do what you do that's right in the woods you do what you do that's right I do have that I can't even relate Bobby Lee's out there excuse me just one
00:13:27
second Bobby Lee [Music] so David Spade uh back right around when I met Mr Carvey he was a big famous
00:13:45
great comedian I thought he was great I liked all these guys Dennis Miller Kevin NE and I always say the same people but
00:13:51
I liked a lot of a lot of Comedians and yeah and then uh and we we liked you yeah everyone was cool everyone I was
00:13:58
new on David Spade I looked young um MH it's before the town got to me can I ask
00:14:05
you a professional question yeah how hard well first of all how long did it take you to get on the show because a
00:14:11
guy comes and sees you yeah and then he see you over a period of months and then he finally gave the green light or was
00:14:16
it pretty fast Jim mcau was a famous name in town and yeah it's not exactly like that anymore but to be on the biggest show on network Tonight Show to be a comedian he has so much power and
00:14:28
he could just he's coming in The impro Improv everyone's like places everyone like macau's coming in tonight so
00:14:34
everyone's like y showtime and so he might see you accidentally he might come in to watch Leno or someone but he comes
00:14:41
in a little early he catches you so you just always ready he watched me we had it all set up he probably watched me
00:14:48
three times then they hone it I don't know if people know that take that out it's to dirty take that give me your
00:14:54
best six minutes no I wouldn't do that I actually told uh my managers back then I said you
00:15:02
know they said where's this joke I said well I'm going to save that for a second
00:15:08
appearance and they said don't save anything if you don't do well there's no second appearance give everything you
00:15:14
got yeah so let's we're going to play my tape so I finally make it he gives me a
00:15:20
date it's August I I don't have anything to wear I don't have a a stylist so I wear a flannel shirt I used to
00:15:25
skateboarding with no sleeves you were yeah young Surfer dude cable crew neck sweater in August which is boiling hot it's like green I don't know I put my collar out like this no one's telling me
00:15:37
yes or no I just show up I drive myself I'm backstage I don't know what I'm doing yeah first thing I do when they
00:15:42
introduce me I go out and it's so shiny Dana that black stage yeah it's blinding
00:15:49
I'm I know my act so well and I can't think of anything I'm like oh my god I've only seen it this way I've never
00:15:54
seen the show that way I see a crowd all I think is that crowd is smaller this whole thing is smaller than I
00:16:01
thought and then it's shiny and the cameraman are looking at me like this and let's let people understand I didn't
00:16:08
mean to interrupt sorry but to go on The Tonight Show at that time it's like 40 million people or something I mean there's it it's it's really big it can
00:16:18
make or break you there's people go on that show next day people on the street going hey how you doing David Spades go ahead a lot of pressure sure more than I
00:16:25
mean anything would be pressure going on The Improv but now this is the night show so here I go they say go out let's
00:16:32
see I walk out so appearing with Dennis Miller and Steven wri August the 29th at the Riverbend Music Center August 30th
00:16:38
at po Creek in Chicago and this is his very first appearance with us would you welcome David SP
00:16:43
terrified here he is oh I'm okay stop it already stop why would they put the mic up you like that they had six hours to lower it that's F
00:16:56
that's [ __ ] sabotaged man no I told him to oh oh it's part of your joke got it yeah I told him to just to make it look like initially kind of a laugh no
00:17:07
it is funny good okay take everything oh [ __ ] but that's good you saw that by the
00:17:12
way a mic with a cord which they don't really have much anymore because they had a sweetheart deal at Radio Shack
00:17:19
with The Tonight Show I want to hear your first okay there's my cable crew neck sweater yeah there's my flannel
00:17:25
shirt thank you thank you much my name is David Spade and I'm 12 and uh first time been here tonight show my mom just dropped me off she's said Sears and she'll be by later not much ride
00:17:39
okay God tell you about myself I'm from Arizona I moved out here thank you moved
00:17:45
out here last summer to see my mom she lives out here I need her to cut my steak up in little tiny pieces so I could eat it okay when I flow out here
00:17:51
it's kind of a drag because you know when you get on the plane flight attendant will always tell you the name of the pilot you know like anyone goes
00:17:57
oh he's good good love his work I like his work yeah it's good that's a good joke I got more coach I never sit in first class think about coaches they don't want you to see the people in first class anymore that's
00:18:08
how much of a loser you are to them want to see them it's so sad you know steart just will come by and she'll pull the
00:18:14
little curtain Shut sorry you got them she bolts it then she comes by later Tire gun whoa Tire gun it makes its first appearance oh look you you
00:18:27
were squeezing M so crowded we can't even Park the plane I've never under that situation
00:18:33
before every terminal is taken we're taxing around five 20 minutes finally we see some pilot and he's carrying his
00:18:38
keys right so we started following him around full of bit you know moving Applause break two minutes
00:18:46
he just getting something out of his plane so we can't park there so that sucked
00:18:52
then my mom picked me up and I wanted to go to the beach the first day you know but it felt kind of weird because I'm short and skinny what's worse they to
00:18:59
shave my chest for this movie I'm writing so I decided thrw that in good M Direction tool around because I got a new car it's a it's not really new it's an old UPS truck but it's really nice
00:19:11
you know it's one of those brown ones it's great I got to I can park wherever I want to but here's the
00:19:17
thing over give you guys a tip when you're driving around don't ever let a pretty girl merge in front of your car
00:19:22
in the street because if you do they rarely pull over and have sex with you for it later rarely listen to
00:19:28
I don't remember this show getting confident they are working it don't let them you got to be tough I know it's
00:19:34
hard you know they're all pretty they got their hair pulled up like a little Fountain k k I need to get if I could no
00:19:43
you can't all right because there's no payoff sweetheart all right rude sweetheart me he looks
00:19:50
weak you're not get in front of the Accord but you lost me on this one a little bit listen I almost forgot about this merge thing I feel some magic here
00:20:03
I've never felt this way about a boy really go ahead okay CH later you witch yes sir happens to me five times a day it happens to me even the next day same
00:20:14
girl but she's got her hair different it's like over here now I'm go ahead girls with scrunchies are evil physical little Ruff scrunchy they got
00:20:25
on the wrist to put their hair up don't trust them you never know when it's going up either what's going on what am
00:20:31
I doing what's happening hey maybe later we go what don't let talking an Applause on
00:20:38
that act out anywhere there's no rules there's no wrong way to do it they'll put one right here they don't care as long as it's up
00:20:44
baby either that or a chip clip you know off the Ruffles into the hair don't trust them wow don't trust them with the
00:20:51
chip clip they're with you man [ __ ] love it they're loving you somebody's at the Gap today buying a shreder any
00:21:03
who weird weird throwaway joke so anyway that was risky I don't trust these celebrity environmentalist vegetarians kind of bother me that force their views on me and make me feel super
00:21:17
guilty all the time you know I saw River Phoenix who's this actor with really cool hair and he's on Hollywood Boulevard like preaching to everybody
00:21:22
you know before hey don't wear shoes you cow killer hey man the Dolphins are all squired up in the tuna Nets it's heavy
00:21:29
buddy I'm like okay let me address this tuna thing I uh went to a deli the other day and tried to order a tuna sandwich
00:21:36
and the guy behind the counter got so mad at me you know I didn't think I was throwing a big curveball is a deli hi so
00:21:42
I go uh yeah can I have some tun in he's like what so outrageous I can't but I'm
00:21:48
like whoa whoa hey there's so many things wrong with your attitude like first of all you killed it right I'm just buying it off you man you're murder
00:21:54
one I'm just an accessory you're going down my friend hey I didn't order a big bowl of cream or rainforce don't freak
00:21:59
out on me I don't need it too much pressure I pull back in the rainforest River thing you're killing I don't need River all carried away with this cool
00:22:11
hair hey man lights are squirting out of gas killing the ozone baby and don't wear Levis because the thread will come
00:22:18
out and choke a bird one day you bird killer Earth hater oone Hemer bigger okay God slow down I think River s and relax right have a big old meatball
00:22:31
clear his head out my friends go you know he's going to hear that joke I want to fight you well
00:22:37
guess what he's got no protein in his system I will kick his butt all right I Had a Hammer every day I whale on him I
00:22:44
was just at Wendy's you don't want none of me nice that's it thank you oh that's the
00:22:49
closer I was just at Wendy's now watch this you're going to so I leave oh Johnny funny kid what he's to too nervous to even look over funny kid
00:23:08
David Spade we'll be right back Linda Hopkin I didn't even look at them I just left well look at Marty I know as a
00:23:17
fetus well what did you uh it seemed like you killed you started out uh they liked you they hooked into you you got like three or four pluse breaks and then by the last 90 seconds you were louder
00:23:29
more aggressive I know I was yeah I mean not even like that's good no it wasn't that loud it's just that you you you
00:23:36
seem way more confident obviously you acclimated halfway through because the first minute is just like I'm on The
00:23:42
Tonight Show talking into a microphone right terrifying yeah uh the first three I couldn't even hear the audience that was panic mode because you're like if
00:23:53
they're not buying the first three they slowly came to it and they're usually not nice because they're they're
00:23:58
supporting new comics on The Tonight Show they knew back then like it was kind of fun to see a new one but it took
00:24:05
them a while but they got into it and then I don't even remember these jokes I'm like I haven't seen this set for so
00:24:10
long so getting into that River Phoenix stuff obviously he passed away after that but it was still he was like the
00:24:17
guy they were making fun of because he was very vocal but yelling I got a hamburger there's like three in a row I
00:24:22
like I just had I have a hamburger every day I was just at Wendy's you don't want none of this that was like a good build
00:24:27
I don't remember that was my closure though it's like the problem is if you come out in those three jokes tighten up
00:24:34
not you but any comedian if the first three tighten them up and then the comedian stops having fun and they sense
00:24:40
it then the sule can just go down but you held your ground you know and it can get really bad and then so you held your
00:24:48
ground and kept going and then you I think probably within a minute you got an Applause break after that yeah I I
00:24:55
don't know if they knew what to do with me I think I I don't know if I look nervous but I'm just kind of quiet and
00:25:02
young and there you know back then it was Leno and Belzer and Richard Lewis and everyone rip and so it was they
00:25:11
weren't you they were sort of just going is this a joke because I was probably 24
00:25:17
or something I'm 23 I look like I was 20 well I I church I've never really to really I've never really explained this but the church lady uh attitude came from what you were dealing with cuz
00:25:33
sometimes I'd go on stage when I was early days like 22 and I would hear people go like that I mean I had a real
00:25:40
baby face oh yeah for sure I I to to kind of get rid of that tension I would do like wellow wellow wellow apparently they let little children into the theater tonight you
00:25:52
know that was the first way to to diffuse that attention I also used to do I know what you're thinking and I go all
00:25:58
boys wear half off I did kind of a Sears mannequin joke I don't know the quite the wording but so we both looked really
00:26:05
young and um if you know what you should bring your good lighting we look okay you should bring yours next week we
00:26:12
should look at it well the problem was the first time I was on the tonight's show was I was on
00:26:18
the couch well still it could be funny you talk about the stuff you were supposed to say but the the but the reason is
00:26:26
David mcau said you're just not right for the tonight's show there's nothing we can do with you CU I was just doing characters I had no jokes so I couldn't
00:26:34
get on the tonight's show he he was perfectly nice he said we can't put you on it just wouldn't work you don't have
00:26:40
it and you probably should look for some other form of work but then the I got on
00:26:46
SNL and then I got to go on so he never talks about the ones he missed on Johnny
00:26:51
was great and I think I've told I went backstage and I was so like sick so I was slugging uh Pepto Bismol you know I had my shirt off MH the bo was like
00:27:02
blowing trees down I was so nervous I had like two friends there and you know you don't even have a hair P you just go
00:27:09
with your hair messy from driving with your windows open and that was kind of the Simplicity but there was a knock and it was Johnny and I think either Ed it
00:27:18
was one of the person with Ed or doc senson or Martin Short and I open it as [ __ ] Johnny and he goes hey you just
00:27:25
left uh I wanted to say good job he didn't look over and uh thanks for coming on and uh I was holding my Pepto
00:27:32
and I go oh my God that was so fun thank you so much and he goes Pepto I'm trying to quit this stuff myself and then he
00:27:40
walked away got a great what a great thing I know but I saw his hand up like this and he was like waving I think if you'd looked he was gonna go like that oh come over like his hand was reached
00:27:52
out I think I'll bring him over if he looks I'm going to scoop scoop him up because M said
00:27:58
the guy that books it was right off cuz he said when you go out there you walk out you do your set and you turn you
00:28:05
walk back and I go what if Johnny sometimes he waves he's not I go oh he goes just come and come right back to me I'll be right here go there's an x on the ground stand on that come back so I
00:28:17
come back to him and he goes what you look at Johnny he would have waved you over I go I did
00:28:24
so I know but yeah you that was that that was fun that was fun to watch that was fun for me to watch because I haven't seen it uh the material was smart it was fun I mean you did do the
00:28:34
young thing I think it worked I think the first thing hello I'm 12 was funny I think the audience was still just kind
00:28:40
of getting who's this what acclimated yeah all right let's go to some headlines I'll say it what C uh F5 fo YN
00:28:52
I believe a star was [Laughter] born [Music] oh this is Shane Gillis on SNL okay here's our friend Shane Gillis oh my God
00:29:13
headline [Music] wow I cannot say I cannot agree with that that's funny I mean I thought my personal I
00:29:27
didn't see it all In fairness actually I didn't see it and I don't know who he is but I have an opinion now I saw but you
00:29:34
you you've seen the movie Shane you've seen the the Western Shane from 1952 okay Joe D's name was Shane in the first iteration then we changed it uh but I
00:29:46
will say that Shane Gillis I thought his monologue was very interesting I'm not going to get cancelled and say it was good or bad I'm just going to say I like that at least he shook it up he didn't
00:29:57
do a typical monologue he definitely was doing things that were wrong in quotes and SNL the spirit of SNL is to do stuff like that so I will say
00:30:08
that he those also are themes that he works with h he uses the word gay uh in 2024 in a way that's not a pejorative or it's just sort of
00:30:23
oldfashioned of him that's like the 80s we would say stuff like that and not think about it or even the '90s
00:30:29
um and then of course the Down Syndrome thing is because he has relatives with Down syndrome and he's talked about that
00:30:36
a lot so he kind of he did he did Shane he did his he did what he did he didn't really change anything and um you could
00:30:45
either it's up for people to decide we're comedians we've seen and heard everything we've been beaten and left
00:30:51
for dead many times so we don't we're not easily offended we don't we don't automatically assume that he doesn't
00:30:58
like down syndrome people or gay people or anything he's saying uh it is comedy and that's all I'm gonna say with that we have editing capability sorry some words have shock value but I I do think
00:31:12
and some of the sketches were good they pulled one that was about uh Liu emu that commercial for insurance or something and that was really funny but they put online and it was kind of dumb
00:31:25
because people were like that one's really edgy you probably could have used that I was one of those
00:31:32
people now what are we seeing here what's up with major league b now moving on is Major League Baseball Dana they
00:31:40
got I guess they got all your emails they made seethrough pants for the how I mean what are they doing I guilty is charge I just want to
00:31:53
hear the guy talking to the guy now you listening to me Jensen I hired you to make baseball clothes I didn't make I
00:32:00
didn't want me people want to watch a baseball game they don't want to see a g yeah like this you're getting yelled
00:32:08
at by the Umpire you have a boner he's like I don't know I'm nervous why do you want seethrough pants
00:32:14
I don't want anyone to see my anything how see-through how seethrough were they I mean I know you're probably looking at
00:32:20
these things at night so how I mean can we see shapes and bumps or are we counting pubes
00:32:28
yeah I hired you to make baseball CL clothes now you gave me a strip show oh my God angry executive yelling what sorry Heather just
00:32:40
interrupted you held up a picture of a guy with his freaking Wang you can see his 100% wiener no yeah you can if you
00:32:50
use your imagination no it's pretty wangy sorry Heather you like I didn't like when they apologize the the major league commissioner goes listen there's been a little problem we
00:33:04
didn't see this coming but a lot of guys um were you could see their prongs um so and he kept using weird words well it's schol well maybe there
00:33:15
was maybe the baseball commissioner was well you're hired to make our new baseball uniforms and by the way uh is
00:33:22
there any chance you could make them kind of see through just a little bit it's for the
00:33:28
ladies Kanye's wife everything she wears is see-through she's like has a thong a
00:33:37
thong and a dog collar and an iron mask on she's just going out for dinner dude that's on Sunday the other day she wore like uh what were they nylons with no
00:33:47
unies she's like hey you guys all know my [ __ ] he was on he was dragging her through Roman she was on an oldfashioned stretcher from the 15 cent
00:33:59
like I want I want a drink when we get there Kanye it's your thing babe he's behind her with a whip like it's art it's medieval [ __ ] man yeah it's
00:34:11
like Gladiator or something crazy but I don't judge as long as they're happy no no those two crazy kids they're having
00:34:18
fun okay here's another one oh there's a funny video I saw which one's this oh this is Willie Wonka oh this is different okay wiie Wonka and an for repairs okay um this is how Hightech we
00:34:30
are we're literally just the internet okay willly won yeah explain this one they they can read so anyway it was called an immersive experience experience everybody was excited because
00:34:44
that usually means some awesome Willy Wonka thing and it was just a partially decorated Warehouse as they say there
00:34:50
it's just it's so horribly bad and such a ripoff it's funny stuff can we see a picture yeah let's see a picture so it's very Bleak and Stark and there's not really that much yeah look that's it oh my God
00:35:03
it's like it was in yeah it's like in Dresden 1942 or something it's like it's like Berlin in 1945 all right well when you hear the budget was $200 it's not bad uh stay on
00:35:17
there Greg let me see what else is on that thing there's a big rainbow which scares off some people there's people
00:35:22
out there they go I'm out I'm out I cannot see AOW from the rainbow no but there's people that you know get get a little tight oh I got you get a little what if
00:35:33
the people on the way to this exhibit kept asking people and they go oh yeah the Wonka thing okay just like what
00:35:39
happened to you at the movie theater really well even waiting in line leave what's at the bottom of the rainbow uh clouds or marshmallows oh it
00:35:52
is clouds okay think it was a Picasso that did those I remember the song you remember it I like candy I like candy
00:36:05
don't you like to eat candy boys and girls remember that song from the Gene Wilder one I just
00:36:12
whatever oh I like delicious toys I don't just I don't remember it very well but I like the movie I like the one with Timmy shalam yeah I like an old man
00:36:24
going hey can I get seven kids in my house house is that cool with the parents could keep them overnight okay
00:36:30
we're doing Hans and France and a lot of Dennis let's go together okay go to the next one what's this next story oh this
00:36:37
I I wanted you to see this Dana this is so offensive you get a caricature you're
00:36:43
with your lovely date like what are they going to pick perfectly nice guy I don't know if we
00:36:50
need that blaring 30s can you turn that [ __ ] down look at how [ __ ] loud it is my I
00:37:01
can't even focus look at her goddamn face they look like Monsters I mean how [ __ ] rude his neck is 30 feet long
00:37:15
with eczema look how happy they are holy [ __ ] they sit on their keys why are they I would be horrified first I'd
00:37:27
break up with her I'd rip it in half like Pelosi okay volume my [Music] God if you have questions or Impressions you can go to Superfly odyssey.com I
00:37:50
think that's it and uh uh red red neckies Impressions and any kind of questions especially for David relationship advice because he's really we'll give you advice he's a natural
00:38:02
about life uh by the way um how to make money in the stock market I'm pretty good at that jump on bitcoin it's not too late okay all right so let's see what here's an impression we're gonna
00:38:13
see Dana we'll give it our real opinion in real time someone this is Evan Chandler I thought with this guy did it
00:38:21
another guy with the same hat oh my God everyone's putting his [ __ ] hat hey guys okay big fan uh on your last episode of Superfly
00:38:33
said we could submit some Impressions so I thought I'd give it a go get to it trying to balance my phone on the steering wheel here all right this is
00:38:44
Laur doing an impression of Dana's dad well Dana Christ I can't talk to you about
00:38:56
politics because you don't know [ __ ] all right Douglas doing an impr oh there's more he should have
00:39:09
quit Jesus Christ Doug Dan I can't talk to you about politics cuz you don't know [ __ ] I kind of like his blank look he
00:39:22
gives absolutely nothing in his face like Jesus Christ it's funny it's a mash up was funny yeah
00:39:29
go ahead I like that you did they're both good it was funny because that's something I say in my ACT my dad used to
00:39:35
say to me Jesus Christ I can't talk politics with you because you don't know [ __ ] that's so this guy is using that as
00:39:42
these other and I did a movie with Kirk Douglas and I know Lauren Michaels so there's a whole Mash going on what was
00:39:48
that gentleman name com that was Evan Chandler Evan Chandler funny funny stuff thank you for the mashup inspired think I'd like it and then I did hi Dana and
00:40:01
daver this is Jimmy Stewart as froto baggin in the original Frank kapra production of Lord of the Rings from 1950 that was never released okay well
00:40:14
what do you mean grandf you want me to take this ring all the way to Mordor you got Mary you got pipp and you got
00:40:20
legalist and gimy what do you need me for thanks guys like Parker malar Parker Alman yeah that was cool
00:40:32
you have a beard like a Lord of the Rings beard now wait let's comment so I do like it I mean it's getting yeah it's going back now oh as
00:40:46
we should get some new ones that people haven't heard a lot of that would be fun because people that are out there we
00:40:51
don't even know like you know these guys in Euphoria or whatever but let's yeah but I liked it I I would just say the only thing I would do is remember to you can do a nonverbal thing before he talks
00:41:04
or you throw in non-verbal Jimmy Stewart so you know I've got a problem with it yeah you
00:41:10
see but yeah you know so anyway but I learned it from Rich Little but yeah it today it's hard if you did a perfect Cris plat with how many people would know nothing he's a famous movie star
00:41:23
Tim Timothy sham people do it's a little harder back then there were like eight giant movie stars and everyone knew them um it's it's hard if you do Chris proud or something you got to get the ones
00:41:34
they have to be sunk enough Into The Ether that people all know what they sound like at this point or from a famous movie you know like doing Robert dowy Jr from Iron Man or something you
00:41:45
know yeah I'm gonna learn a new impression I I should ask the fans to write in ask me to try somebody yeah
00:41:52
tell them give me the challenge of a new impression there you go you know okay here he is this is Thomas
00:41:58
Murphy it's our last one Thomas you better is our last one Thomas Murphy here he
00:42:05
is hey Dana and David it's nor McDonald you know so he fellas I wanted to ask you
00:42:12
you know what's better than being dead right alive it's better to be alive well uh I like these people don't even get
00:42:26
out [ __ ] car it's such a throwaway thing they're like I'll just send this out they'll never use it I think it's
00:42:31
smart to say hello and then the name of the guy you're doing hello this is nor McDonald took me a second yeah it took
00:42:38
me a second to acclimate again it's a little dark but I do Norm had a sense of humor that would accommodate that I think you know yeah um not bad not bad
00:42:49
so I I asked this guy to do Theo Von last week let see what he's going to do what's up guys Dante Carter here
00:42:56
again uh I decided to come into the house this time David I'm not in the car I'm in the house see they're learning they're learning uh you guys mentioned
00:43:02
you thought I was going to do Theo Von last week because of my Southern accent and I thought man I could try Theo I've never tried it so I wanted but I wanted
00:43:08
to try it out for you guys so yeah there was this man named uh his name was how yeah how was his name dude how was his name bro how used to how at
00:43:22
people and uh well when when you how at people we call you how and how that's just what we called him that's just what we called him bro he was a good dude though man uh God I think about him all
00:43:35
the time man he's a good dude I wonder if that's from Theo or if that's his own madeup thing because there is stuff in there that's pretty
00:43:45
Theo and people should be doing Theo all the time right now everyone knows them Bobby Lee Theo they should be doing
00:43:51
these Impressions Tim Dylan people that know they should do Whitney they're out there you know what I mean n Blazer
00:43:57
these are Impressions that could be done easily a child could no I'm kidding but
00:44:02
you know what I mean so that's a good Theo um there were Parts because I've never heard of Theo so that's pretty
00:44:08
good Dana well there were parts that that did I did kind of hit me as Theo it felt like um maybe slow it down a little bit the thing about Theo is Theo doesn't
00:44:19
really ever do a joke with a punchline um so I would say you if I would try to learn Theo this week I would actually listen to his show and take an actual segment from it and
00:44:31
phonetically try to get it that way first right but I feel like I feel like you know but he he tonally was pretty
00:44:37
good um I would say uh sharpen it and bring it back yeah but don't try a hog this [ __ ] show either yeah we have a
00:44:48
waiting we have a waiting room online right now of 69,000 people oh there's someone from
00:44:54
Peru perfect David Spade no gross um all right I think that's it for the show Dana don't you I think so um I enjoyed it David had a great time with you D
00:45:08
nice to see we left we cried we looked at things we talked um we got our framing down on the thing in the camera I think next
00:45:19
time uh let's see all right Rad Rad oh this was this was three Christopher Watkins Christopher Walkin sees and a magic trick wow Christopher CH Christopher Walkin is threatened whoa
00:45:33
Christ for walking is a cowboy yippo this has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced
00:45:45
by Dana Carvey and David Spade Charlie finan of brilon entertainment Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Heather Santoro
00:45:52
and Greg Holtzman hope you liked it