00:00:00
[Music] Trump's on Theo's [ __ ] uh podcast I love Trump sitting there and Theo going you know in fourth grade my uh teacher was a raccoon and he's like that's good
00:00:14
okay Theo that sounds a little different but sure and he's like yeah so yeah I kind of I kind of feel like a a tad pole is a tad too big what do you think of
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that I think you're nuts I think you're crazy I do you think that Grinch was a real guy like way
00:00:36
back okay ready go ready welcome to Superfly with your host David Spade and Dana Carvey that's it yes you leaned a little
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early I leaned a little early didn't I we would have let's do one more take ready oh do one more take let's just check it okay do your thing welcome welcome to Superfly with your host David
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Spade and oh wait now I'm later oh I wait for my name yeah I got give name anyone watching this trust me this is we're shooting the rehearsal I did not get go
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ahead this is quality you won't believe this this is not scripted okay welcome to Superfly with your host David Spade and Dana Carby yeah there you go [ __ ] print it
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moving on going to lunch damn it podcast Cas it's easying get so many people smashing our
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subscription button thank you so much smash that [ __ ] thing I don't care if you break your phone or camera whatever
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or your laptop don't touch it don't just get go oh yeah we're at 175 now on YouTube damn that's it inching up don't just go like that yeah don't go like
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that don't go like this rub rub subscribe go [ __ ] a bam let's ask Tyson to come on for because he's got that fight coming up yeah we got that fight coming up and I'm
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gonna hit him so hard it's it's going to kill his whole family you I didn't really want to kill his family but I hit
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him so hard even his relatives will feel the pain I'm Mike Tyson I know now he's
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nicer he goes I'll hit you so hard you're gonna wake up with a bit of a stomach ache I know that's what we T tummy a he
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threatens really heavily but he's he's after the fight he's a [ __ ] cat you know before the fight I kill you I kill
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your entire family after the fight you know would you like to go maybe climb on some jungle bars come over I could put a
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hot water bottle on it let's going do I don't have my Tyson down news flash to impression us it takes a while sounds
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good I got to do it hard not you know I was hitting them so hard I was so scared I was it's still very Brooklyn there
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yeah I was so scared I was so scared you got Tyson let's get let's get Iron Mike
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I like Tyson I did his podcast and it was um he had a guy there because you know he has like a he I sit in the middle and he has a guy on one side that's sort of the
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mediator you know like co-host yeah oh yeah yeah and then he would uh ask questions um Mike would ask questions it was kind of fun but the other guy
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uh not a professional but like a professional football player you know I mean yeah the the Mike
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Tyson has a a kind of a sneaky hyper wisdom you know yeah no filters it's just really simple you know I think it's called hot boxing so I think they combine boxing with smoking weed and
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yeah the results are incredible let's look at a clip he is known to have a little bit of a funny cigarette it's
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funny 7s you get a little um Mary Jane little wacky tobacky there's one that was a good cuz it's it's the lips pinched and then to the right a
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little little funny friend this side that's really [ __ ] poof town okay so let's talk what's going on in the world we'll start with the convention the convention this past week
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yes unbelievable the we talked about the Republican convention for those of you who don't know who don't know they have a convention and then the Democrats do four days long and they're kind of
00:04:47
similar to each other there's a lot of like Diehard freaks out there with Badges and hats just jangling things
00:04:54
yeah you know and there's they start at 3 in the afternoon and some of the speakers are
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obscure congressmen you've never heard of and they just drone Bill sank me and yeah from the
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great state of Tennessee we ladies and gentlemen we go out into a new world a world that's
00:05:20
changing a changing world yes but if you're the he if you're Obama you're like don't bite my [ __ ] don't talk about crime don't this is my stuff don't say Trump that's all my stuff if I
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was a headliner I'd say these things don't I don't want the openers talking about and then yeah when you know Obama
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comes out he's he's just cool you know he just he just brings it all down he's got 18,000 people waiting and that's the thing we're going to do do it every time and what he did which surprised me and I
00:05:52
thought it was funny he did a dick joke about Donald Trump oh what was it so he's up there he goes like this he goes goes he goes and Donald Trump seems to have a strange obsession with crowd
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sizes then he goes with his hands he goes like this goes apart looks down and goes back big laugh oh visual he's doing
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visual stuff too he did a visual thing he said that I heard they had some tape of him with Michelle I'm going to do the
00:06:19
hand out a hand in a look down they'll know it's a dick joke stay on me go wide shot come make sure this strange
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obsession with crowd sizes and then I'll bring my hands in I'll look down and then cue the left hit the Applause
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button yeah you know it's funny because people were saying he's obviously a great speaker if he wasn't goodlooking
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what do you get this much attention he is good-look uh yes yeah he's uh very very
00:06:44
photogenic um I I you know I think it's a combo you just he's just a rock star I mean he you know he just has has that down I mean even in 2004 he's waiting in the wings
00:06:57
he's going to speak at the Democratic National Convention he was nobody and somebody said to him are you
00:07:04
nervous he goes no not really I can play this game I got this i got this so he knew he had a talent for public speaking now Biden on the other hand is a little
00:07:14
bittersweet because it was his Farewell he went on Monday at noon right no the thing is they held him past prime time he went on at like 11:30 in New York at
00:07:26
the end of 50 years of Public Service let's put on another the acrobat is going to do a you know jugglers will come out got that Sam Kennison last spot
00:07:37
my favorite line of him and he's done it before he like Trump trump he said he said our troops are suckers and losers and then he just goes really hard he goes but Trump you're the
00:07:49
loser almost it was such schoolyard bullying you know it's ironic what you just said
00:07:56
you're the loser and then and then he did he come out in his pajamas or they he waited he had to wait everyone's going along that sucks here a comedy
00:08:09
going yeah I mean he's 81 years old and yeah and there's another one another one and matter of fact they bumped James
00:08:16
Taylor it got so late that they go look one guy you want to hear James Taylor and he just picked up his guitar and he said you have not got a friend and walked out boy it's perfect thing to say
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can we Rim shot bunch of suckers and losers of Donald Trump the mega Republic is a threat to democracy it was like 12:30 1:00 a.m and the people say but anyway democracy is a big catchphrase
00:08:42
that like just I don't even know what it means anymore when people say something so much I don't know what it means anymore well everybody both sides say
00:08:49
the other side is a threat to democracy so it's it's it's likeone list goes what's democracy David Spade is a threat
00:08:56
to Comedy I am now I listen yeah maybe maybe I don't know why that face always gets anytime cuz I hate when I
00:09:09
watch this I'm looking down because I have to see these dumb [ __ ] squares because I'm on I look good cuz I'm
00:09:19
onomic oh come on stay close folks trying to get from 156 to 144 I really am I I fattened up during grown-ups which oh couple people remember thank you um in gr I remember you were a bit
00:09:35
round I was a little rotund you were a little round chubby cheeks I asked shock Point black if I was fatter and he said yeah I did you notice I said was I said
00:09:47
I actually gained 20 PBS in the last five years and I didn't even know it I said did you notice he go
00:09:55
yeah he goes you're getting in a Val Kilmer area which then was valkum on the beach with a [ __ ] wet suit with his big gun I go I'll [ __ ] kill you rock
00:10:06
it's called a scale you just get on it once in a while keep track stuff go King I know I didn't get on it here is
00:10:14
a okay go ahead you you put your head in the sand and you paid the price yeah um they found maggot m a g o TS in the
00:10:26
breakfast bar at the Democratic National Convention oh they don't know how they got there but that's the last thing you want when you're getting a a cup of Special K apparently Clinton went down
00:10:39
there Bill Clinton and he went ballistic uh listen excuse me somebody I've got megot in my Special K and I will not stand for that I will not sit here godamn it get the meots out of my
00:10:50
goddamn cereal right now I will [ __ ] you up you know what they call him they call
00:10:56
him a m a g tits we got mega no I don't want to make any trouble but we got megas we got Megas in us and I do not like megas and megas are a threat to my cereal and
00:11:11
democra I think it was they said the uh protesters that came in that are behind [ __ ] if they said you have to take eight you have to show eight your ID eight times to get in so there's so many
00:11:23
walls around that place it is lock solid so there's protesters on the out skirts
00:11:30
of town at this point and I think they're around throwing maggots like their confetti and
00:11:37
just to [ __ ] everyone's game up it's you know well it's like there's lines and lines of protesters and usually the one
00:11:43
behind the protesters it's more protesters protesting what they're protesting and then it goes back and
00:11:48
back and back and then 17 miles outside of Chicago there's people Pro protesting
00:11:54
the state of Illinois they wanted to rejoin Indiana they're constitutionalist was it part of Indiana look at how much
00:12:00
I don't know the more you don't know if you don't know I don't know it either but look at the
00:12:06
confidence oh yeah you do you're like I Goa knows he's like don't let me walk you through everything and then the roll
00:12:13
call went on for four hours that was the great state of Indiana they always go we we we we nominate for president the next
00:12:20
president of these here United States comma HR w n YZ comma yeah I like when they go where the great state of Maine and we're taking our four voters and giving them to
00:12:36
you we are the principality of the USA the GU the principality of Guam with we have one half of a delegate he's a dwarf from New Guinea and we nominate for we
00:12:50
are the delegates of Gilligan's Island and we give you the professor we are the delegates
00:12:57
of sorry you have me going all right anything else on the on the uh DNC DNC really is that what you want is that what you do not really just just
00:13:09
said JFK Jr maybe is going to drop out today and and um go with Trump his VP said that right his running mate said that yeah and Trump commented I didn't know which one he said one of them
00:13:23
they're very nasty they've been very nasty and you look at it you look at it they're nasty there say nasty things
00:13:30
they're not nice nasty things and you can look at it they keep doing it and there's one particular person that's
00:13:36
very nasty but I'm not gonna say I'm not gonna tell you who it is so I don't know who it was but somebody Trump's on
00:13:42
Theo's [ __ ] uh podcast I love Trump sitting there and Theo going you know in fourth grade my uh teacher was a raccoon and he's like that's good the okay Theo that sounds a little different but sure
00:13:54
and he's like yeah so yeah I kind of I kind of feel like a a tad pole is a tad too big what do you think of that I think you're nuts I think you're crazy
00:14:06
I do you think the Grinch was a real guy like way back yeah so I didn't hear yet but I
00:14:13
love Theo and he gave me a shout out of course we love Theo love Theo all right my hair we're gonna talk about later I can't get this to show me from the side and that's all I want that's why I'm pring and printing like a you got to
00:14:24
just stay front and center you don't need I would primp less but the problem is I keep seeing myself and I try to make it better and it's just like that is this is Vanity City because folks the
00:14:36
way we're doing this it I can look at David right now and then I then I'm looking at a video of myself so then
00:14:42
you're like damn really how's that possible I won't say if that's a negative or positive comment I just go I
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go really I start to space out then I go oh I'm watching a podcast with Dana Carvey and Nick
00:14:55
Noti I get so spaced out I can't the drawers in the back I'm sorry still doing some phys all right let's look at the headline all was Nick
00:15:06
NTI yeah I look like Nick NTI yeah [Music] um obviously I'm on the road I'm doing this tour Dana you're out there I took
00:15:24
my new away bag let's take a look at it Heather's here he's gonna okay I'm an international stupid Star as you know
00:15:32
yes I've heard the rumor this is the black one here twist a little bit you're not being a good well sideways
00:15:39
yeah this is the one so everyone has black but you know this one is great you can tie a little thing around it that's enough but it's good because it's not completely Rock Solid it's got you know
00:15:53
the the uh yeah totally it's got the soft side right and these are the best ones in the world this is a game changer and you can take it on the plane so you know like when
00:16:05
you go out and you shove all your props all things from your acting all my wigs and my G glasses yeah yeah Hans and
00:16:12
frond outfit and when people kept stopping me to sign a million things most of them were like what's that is that new is that an a away luggage and I have to go through the whole rigoll with
00:16:22
them mhm there you go okay you can put it Down's getting sore umal like Bob Barker you've got assist
00:16:31
holding holding up away away luggage uh you know this is their best seller is the uh black best color but they come in four sizes four colors guess what I'm a
00:16:43
rebel look at this what do you got it's kind of a a whitish gray soft side feel it touch it got to do it so I love maneuvering I these things can maneuver
00:16:57
through an airport like nobody business yeah cuz my old one was like I was carrying bricks around and these are a
00:17:04
little lighter you kind of push them and just you don't think about they have four wheels and they turn and they're
00:17:09
very uh this Pack's a punch you can fit a lot of stuff into this little guy here
00:17:14
you know this is like an R2D2 size it's tear resistant water resistant cuz you know those guys don't care and in your case fan resistant it's a shield get back Talent
00:17:27
resistant um yeah if you spill stuff on it wipe it off that's easy uh if you cry
00:17:33
and your tears hit it that's fine it's like water it thinks it's water even though they're you baby tears and and
00:17:40
listen softside is actually made of high strength nylon so it's durable and tear
00:17:46
resistant as well as water resistant that's a threesome right there it holds a lot it stays upright check out the new
00:17:53
softside luggage from away away and head over to awaytravel.com SL fly that's us Fly Donald Trump reshares IA generated images falsely claiming
00:18:06
Taylor Swift endorsement I saw this I think this is supposed to be funny it's not I don't think it's a good idea because a people believe it at first glance
00:18:16
B it's I'm you know I don't know who Taylor is voting for or if she talks about it but are all these fake I would think okay this Taylor Swift one in the middle as Uncle Sam is fake but are are
00:18:28
Swift maybe there swifties for Trump but if you make it AI maybe I don't believe all of
00:18:37
it right I'm saying it so you either say I'm sure some Taylor Swift fans are for
00:18:43
Trump but if you do this and then you know that's AI in the middle then you don't believe I've had I'm calling all
00:18:50
AI all yeah I'm just saying the idea of it I don't think is you know in in the grand scheme of these things I would say I would stay away from that kind of stuff because AI makes people nervous
00:19:05
anyway and then if you start saying that if you reshare something what is your responsibility to check that it's real
00:19:12
and how do you check that it's real yeah always someone debunking the debunker so really you just don't know
00:19:19
anything I know everything but some people don't know anything I don't mind I like deplaning but I don't like
00:19:26
debunking MH debunking is probably something you should take in college because there's so much of it going on
00:19:32
if you were debunking while you were deaning what would you be called yeah I don't think you could do that that's too
00:19:38
much that's all that's the only phrases in the human language you start with a D
00:19:43
yeah uh okay next one okay oh oh really okay klyn Clark rejects see again a million dollars to
00:19:57
appear on The View come on going to pay her a million dollars I I barely get $575 when you do a talk show yeah she says I believe she said I'm not a fan of the view I don't think anyone's offering
00:20:09
anyone money to be on The View I'm thinking that she's pretty savvy so I would say she would stay out of this so I'm calling can we can we figure out if
00:20:23
this is a real quote never I'm not a fan never h we're just let's just I don't even know if that's Caitlyn Clark I'm gonna I'm gonna yeah I don't
00:20:36
that's dra from Hotel Transylvania yeah I think that's uh don't laugh at that he K how many times in no I I'm gonna say
00:20:48
that's AI this is our AI episode yeah okay actually tell us in YouTube comments CU we don't know [ __ ] one
00:20:54
thing obvious all right next one donut slogan said says America runs on Duncan I think I know look at this what is my friends this is a pumpkin
00:21:05
swirl frozen coffee who the thought it was a good idea to put this on the menu because this drink has 185 g of sugar in here how much is it
00:21:17
it's this much it's 46 this story the amount of sugar Story how much sugar artificial flavors there's 12 dimensions of sugar and I try not to eat any sugar
00:21:38
I worked with an editor once that had an iced coffee like that every morning and
00:21:43
he was trying to lose weight he goes this is all I have this is all I'm having all I'm having and I go it's a
00:21:49
billion calories it's like I haven't had that much sugar since high school one drink yeah keep it go easy on the sugar
00:21:56
I've heard here's another thing you can debunk for me cancer can't live unless there's white sugar in your body is that
00:22:02
a lie that sounds like there's well put it this way I don't know if that exact quote but cancer loves sugar so does
00:22:08
heart disease sugar is uh kind of bad in high doses watch the sugar would you call 185 grams at once
00:22:20
High I only have a Coca-Cola every once in a while oh not cool how much sugar go
00:22:26
read it oh man I got a shame myself this is either my hands I have Shack hands or
00:22:31
this is a small I know easy that's makes your dick look bigger good job it's the most important thing in
00:22:38
life okay okay sugar 25 grams yeah it's not too bad you're skinny by the way I do these five hour energies now and then and every time you turn on like a Tik Tok it's
00:22:52
like do you know energy drinks make you tireder I'm like oh boy no actually a lot of caffeine makes you sleep I'm like please everyone let's not ruin everything I once got pulled over for
00:23:05
sleeping while driving and I said to the officer I said I I took a 5H Hour Energy
00:23:12
drink five hours and 10 minutes ago so it it wore off and I fell asleep knocked you out and he let me go you going unconscious they're working on a 6our energy drink they've been working on it
00:23:24
for years um they have for they were three-hour energy drinks for a couple decades then they got to 5 hours well they if they could do an eight hours maybe I could go to work and stay awake
00:23:35
the whole time how about yeah a drink that makes you not cranky how about yeah okay next one okay here's one okay I don't even know what this one is okay ready we'll see how the tech
00:23:49
industry collectively responds to the fact that their threats are not working Dell fired everybody 12,500 people now
00:23:57
unemployed the video reported that Dell wanted people to come back into the office and the employees refused and
00:24:03
they won well now they're unemployed she's wondering how other companies especially Tech will respond they're
00:24:09
responding already by firing remote workers and the cuts have been increasing over the last year 2023 over
00:24:16
880,000 cut April 2024 almost 120,000 fired just 2 weeks into August over 60,000 have been terminated corporations are already responding oh
00:24:28
reme you're more likely to be cut and employees are remote they'll just fire by email teams or Zoom I hate to say I
00:24:35
told you so but I told you so did employees really win by refusing to come back into the office I guess so if they
00:24:42
were looking to get terminated they got what want yeah we're luckily we're sort of doing work by home right now um but
00:24:50
so we can't comment well we have the capability of interviewing Steve Martin in in uh London or something if we want yeah so I don't know if it's the same but you know on that first headline he
00:25:01
didn't say that they make AI pivot Dell makes AI pivot so AI I know a guy who works with AI and it says it does half of his job you just
00:25:13
talk to the AI and it writes a paper about the you know so I I think maybe what I was thinking is someone told me this that hires and Fires at a company
00:25:24
we know and they were saying people come in and say I'm willing to come in one day a week and and this boss was saying the problem
00:25:32
is don't make yourself so invaluable that they don't miss you like if they're saying who would we cut first that guy was saying let's keep the people we have interactions with that work around us
00:25:45
every day that we see and it's easier to take people you don't see you don't have any relationship that are just like
00:25:51
emails and and just say We'll Lop them off first it sounds like but I don't know cuz I'm not in the workforce every
00:25:57
day now when we a movie or something you have to be there every day so there's no getting out of it or TV show it's a
00:26:03
different weird job fine but I don't know if that's I think that's what he was saying I was sort of shocked by the
00:26:10
fact they are even are laying off um you know remote workers I don't know I don't know if you could I don't know what the
00:26:17
legalities are well in the early days I assume it goes on now it's a little difficult I
00:26:23
know people employ a lot of people and the people I know who work from home like they are so flexible they can get
00:26:30
all their work done in the morning if it's something that they can truncate you know and then sure sometimes they're
00:26:36
then they go to Cancun and they're instagramming and then doing their work from 12 to 1 then hitting the beach so I
00:26:44
don't I don't know it's up to each employer to see if that that person is productive enough to to uh be employed
00:26:51
so right I had one that I work with that would only email me after their day so they do do their whole day get everything done you know their whole day their personal life kids whatever and
00:27:03
then from 6:00 to around 11: at night you'd start getting the emails from the day to answer so a lot of things are
00:27:09
only open in the day and only effective in the day so doesn't always work and I I do think that the pandemic kind of
00:27:16
shifted people's mindset a lot of young people the idea of you it's sort of European in a way that you you you work so that you can live you don't live to work I mean we live to work because it's
00:27:28
it's we are our job kind of I don't know I'm just hanging out with you right now but um I think people just question
00:27:35
things especially young people what what am I doing um and they're thinking for alternative Lifestyles part of that's
00:27:41
work from home or travel or you know I don't know yeah it's after obviously since Co it flipped the script yeah
00:27:48
everything okay next one I'm G to take a bite but I'm going to cut this part out
00:27:54
[Music] are you catching the big game or making big mods going on that first date or
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or die alive at ebaymotors.com eligible items only exclusions apply this phenomenon is just a gang of cicas cicas pee you see cicas have an insa thirst
00:28:58
for the liquid flowing through a plant's xylm system to Cobble together enough nutrients each cicada must consume up to
00:29:06
300 times its body weight iny I love xyl fluid which means they have to pee a lot
00:29:11
it does make you pee cicas don't just dribble droplets they they form a jet of liquid which is more energy efficient
00:29:19
their relatively large body size allows them to expel Jets without being overpowered by the liquid tension it's
00:29:26
like a mini water gun on the volume it's not just we got houses underneath those
00:29:33
trees surprisingly their price is held up and which shocked me there a lot of real estate moves quickly I don't know
00:29:39
what it is about that being rained on by urinated on by some kind of weird insect all day long yeah I hope you don't mind
00:29:47
when you leave your house and enter you're smothered and splashed in Chic PE yeah the real estate says we have a very nice kitchen we have bedrooms upstairs we have a rainy insect urine that will
00:29:59
come down your head when you leave the place but we're the the the owners are willing to negotiate we're willing to
00:30:06
school district but you got you're drenched and chicap PE and doesn't come out of your hair and it stinks yes it
00:30:12
will you know it's full disclosure it's in the contract the uh uh is it Zada or cada what is it shikada I think sh shikada urine will soak you through we
00:30:24
suggest you have a place before you go into your house you strip down on the deck and you put it on cicada hangers
00:30:30
where they also will then you know we have a mud room where and then the Chas but the mudrooms also filled with them and they pee on you again then they throw up on you yes now when when this disclose here
00:30:45
when you open the washer in the morning to put clothes in to wash them there will be cicada spray coming out of that
00:30:52
because they do Nest was out of the washer into your face we expect you get a dry cloth you wipe it off you take a
00:30:59
shower you strip down you come back then you stay away from the opening to the washer and you throw your stuff in this
00:31:06
is just true disclosure we're willing to negotiate we want 20% down yeah and they
00:31:11
don't like I mean chicas make a lot of [ __ ] noise too but they're not allowed to say that anymore because it's offensive to them to say that you don't
00:31:17
like their pee so you have to go along with it yeah the the uh Shak is I know it's weird it's never happened before but they have technically unionized um in terms of ownership of
00:31:29
that tree and unloading of urine so I wouldn't challenge them they will go on strike and then you're going to miss all right next one that was good we
00:31:41
really milked a lot of chic pee out of that one we milked some chicat there I'll tell you that much okay this is
00:31:47
just a what happens on Instagram that is I guess the realities the stress of being a girl
00:32:01
that's what you can do I didn't know you could just use little I mean I know people I thought in a photo you could
00:32:07
make yourself like curved a little skinnier or bigger butt if you want but I didn't know you can just take a video
00:32:13
it's so weird to me it's just like digital copies if they can make a digital copy and make it look like
00:32:19
you're in a porn film they can do that I'm not surprised but I've been saying this for a long time yes whatever it is your digital image so if that young lady
00:32:31
can look like that or any way she looks the only way integrate with her is on a digital screen so if she then has a new body that is the reality so um I'm all
00:32:43
for it everyone's going to look gorgeous no one's going to be fat because of OIC everyone's going to look stunning
00:32:49
because of filters and AI the whole world's going to be gorgeous and the only rulers of this planet will be
00:32:56
chicas right and the only two people that look like [ __ ] are me and you until I get you on
00:33:04
OIC guess what this is prefilters wait till I get the filters oh [ __ ] look out
00:33:12
you think I'm a six now wait till I [ __ ] Gussy it up with the [ __ ] d d all right next one we run a tight ship here we go no idea what
00:33:24
this is what's this guy blabbing about bring a brief two-month period at the tail end of the summer of 1991 seven
00:33:32
albums were released that change course of history August 12th 1991 The Black Album from Metallica August 27th 1991 10 from Pearl Jam September 17th
00:33:47
1991 use your Illusions One and Two from Guns and Roses September 24th 199 never
00:33:55
mind by Nana and blood sugar magic and October 8th 1991 it is absolutely incredible that all of these albums came out almost in
00:34:10
succession I was 13 years old at the time and absolutely changed my life it changed the course of rock history and to this day these albums stand the test of time that guy with his finyl good on
00:34:22
him he had like a million records back there yeah but just picture that so in two months there you go in two months
00:34:29
yeah those were like [ __ ] monster top 100 of all time albums kind of some icon iconic for for rock in our generation absolutely you know it's
00:34:42
funny because we during SNL We around what I was around like 93 94 that's I think when we had Pearl Jam we had
00:34:49
Nirvana we didn't get and maybe the peppers we didn't get the sound garden what else did he say oh we didn't get Guns and Roses you know SNL used to
00:35:00
have a thing where they wouldn't put some bands on they wouldn't put in sync on no matter how big they were during when I was there they wouldn't put back
00:35:06
boys even if people sold this many albums they go it's not it's not us oh oh because we were rock and roll basically cuz those were nerdy yeah they were considered something else now
00:35:18
anybody sells anything they're on you know what I mean remember when I hosted the VMAs the one that you wrote on yeah
00:35:25
we had you too we had nirv we had Guns and Roses Elton that was a big one that was a big one don't be that I was
00:35:39
there the we were underneath when Chris novas threw the his guitar Bas guitar and him in the head yeah oh boy those were the [ __ ] days my friend I thought they all right next
00:35:52
one next oh good one let's see what other [ __ ] we have okay wait wait I'm just saying when
00:35:59
girls complain about guys guys complain about girls but this dude puts in the work he's not the best looking frog or whatever he is MHM but nobody works harder to impress a potential partner
00:36:12
than whatever this guy is let's see what okay exciting harder to impress a potential partner than this puffer fish
00:36:18
he's in the middle of spending an entire week crafting a delicate sand mural on the ocean floor just hoping that one
00:36:24
female puffer fish will like it enough to give him a chance he's in the finished work of art will be a
00:36:30
perfectly symmetrical geometric Masterpiece over 20 his size he's also something of an engineer and has learned
00:36:36
that plowing the finer grains of sand to the center will help protect it from the current preventing the work of art from
00:36:42
being washed away immediately but even so the current will constantly erase or alter small parts of his work so he
00:36:48
can't rest it all constantly tending to the piece to correct small errors as they happen and as a final tou when the
00:36:55
main shape is complete he'll add sand doers and seashells around the outer edge as finishing accent pieces soon
00:37:01
enough a female puffer fish looking for a mate will swim around as if browsing an underwater art gallery and if she
00:37:07
likes a particular work of sand art she'll hover over the center of it to communicate her approval and she'll mate
00:37:12
with the male artist in order to deposit her eggs after she swims away the artist will stay nearby fiercely protecting the
00:37:19
eggs until they hatch the wh spotted puffer fish is the only species that crafts such highly ordered works of art
00:37:25
and until the species was discovered in the early 2010s the constantly reappearing sand circles were a mystery
00:37:31
to divers and scientists but now we know that this little puffer fish [ __ ] this dude I'm already tired of
00:37:37
wow but that's unreal that dude what oh they say ants are hard workking no one's talking about puffer fish the grind yeah
00:37:48
it's a grind just to get life and then they has to protect it and then I mean that was um that puffer fish was 7 hours old and it started the
00:37:59
circle at 52 hours and their average life expectency is 8 8.2 hours so it's a rough life well I read a lot I read laid but he gets laid then he's like I don't
00:38:12
even care about this [ __ ] thing anymore CU he's got it's so much upkeep it's like living worse than living near
00:38:17
the beach he's under the water and you know the real reason they call them the puffer
00:38:22
fish cuz you at the bottom of the ocean there's nearby alcohol deposits and is an absolute alcoholic puffed up fish and
00:38:31
it Puffs his face up or he slept on it I don't know I've been called a puffer fish cuz
00:38:37
I wake up it's so swollen you know you wake up swollen every day my face yeah we'll talk about
00:38:45
that later doctors are baffled okay next one I like the alcoholic fish yeah okay
00:38:53
here's a here's Alicia Silverstone she had a little situation here we go discovered something that I can't figure out what it is and I need your help I just bit into it because it was
00:39:05
on the street and we were discussing whether this was a tomato or not it's definitely not because look at these
00:39:11
leaves so she randomly walks up to those leaves pluck so what the heck is this because when you open it up it looks like that and if I bite it dumb who's biting
00:39:24
someone else's I don't think you're supposed to eat this what the it's almost like a pepper does anyone
00:39:29
know what this is It's a Jerusalem Cherry I don't know what it is I need some to tell me I'm Inland so basically
00:39:36
it's a no it's poisonous so you're not supposed to eat it so her her comments got flooded with people going go to the [ __ ] Hospital those are did the person who planted them and had them
00:39:50
grow through the fence so people could pluck them know I don't think anyone thinks you're GNA go eat them but she
00:39:58
they said yeah you're not supposed you're supposed to not eat them and look at them and then what did you say then
00:40:04
no one heard from her oh no one heard from her for six she didn't say anything and everyone's like are you okay an old picture and said I'm okay I didn't she
00:40:12
said I'm okay didn't swallow funny there she is so she didn't swallow it but it was more of a mystery when she was gone you know I'm glad she's safe and
00:40:24
she's she's lovely I just remember I was doing a movie once and talked to some crew members and they her name came up
00:40:30
alici Alicia said s what's she like goes she's got a funny habit of just picking
00:40:35
anything and grinding on it chewing it up and so that that it's a good in the 90s yeah she'll just grabing boom yeah she's a sweetheart and uh I hope she
00:40:47
didn't get totally sick but I I am not good at just picking things up that look shiny and
00:40:53
pretty and just shoving my mouth because that's how you get poison I don't eat mushrooms mushrooms are if you're in a mountain would you eat a mushroom if you just found it no no no not My Dana
00:41:09
unless I saw Rob Schneider sitting to it and saying it's sell a hin take it hi Rob it's good for empyema and
00:41:23
inflation I mean not inflation but oh well it'll do your tax returns what no give it a chance all right let's go next one don't be like
00:41:37
that okay I don't know what this is I got a client request to write his name on a sock and wear it in a sauna for
00:41:44
$400 oh this is how people are making money forget only fans this is a new one I haven't seen write the guy's name sealed for
00:41:56
freshness oh you oh and you have to sick so and I'm guessing only F so this is what a guy wants this is what we want Dana guys to have someone a
00:42:10
woman that we think's attractive sign a sock with our name put it on go in a sauna and then send it to us for $400 oh put their perspiration on it and
00:42:21
sickening Ziploc bag for $400 yeah nice work if you can get it mhm nice work if you get it hey there's Dana socks how
00:42:36
much go on YouTube tell us they'll send you some filthy [ __ ] socks a million dollars a million a million that's too
00:42:44
much that's too much I may only get one or two offers I I admit it if it's a million dollars I'll probably only get one or two offers but it's worth it you have to write their name on it with a marker look we see the perer fish
00:42:57
slaving I mean it's it's it it's hard to be a man in this world or a fish it's all tied in chicas are pissing on everyone poor all right let's go to the next one we're lonely all of
00:43:09
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performance is not guaranteed all right let's do one more we're we're getting uh I got so much going on Dana so I'm
00:44:19
turning down things right left um there's a new trend where oh I didn't know what to say about this there's a new where women are putting a gap between their teeth not a permanent
00:44:32
Gap oh a permanent Gap she looks like a beaver she like a that's what you want look at the song TLC Unpretty is that what the song is
00:44:46
that a real song a funny who's happy about that I mean why would I mean let's see famous Gap to people Arnold for go much more much more attractive David
00:44:59
Letterman you know you know Paul it's great that everybody's doing this and that who else
00:45:04
um the guy Good Morning America um yeah well David Hartman from the 60s it's a first first see no who else I had four teeth pulled
00:45:23
in the 60s that's why I have a tiny mouth my tooths my tooths were like this when I was in third grade I'm like oh and you know what I will tell you this I didn't care I just thought these are my
00:45:35
tooths you know and I would smile on a picture like this I didn't care I just wanted my picture taken and they were
00:45:41
like this and finally someone goes what's wrong with your teeth they look [ __ ] so stupid I was like
00:45:48
huh and then they go Wrangle those in so when I was in fifth grade I roped them in with some barb wire it was basically braces but they were so so like out of control and then I never smiled big
00:46:00
again because they told me I look bad and from that day on they dimmed my light well wait a minute don't CLI my
00:46:07
wings you roped in some barb wire you made homemade braces bar braces but they really had to like because they were just going every which way and once I
00:46:19
was made fun of I went into a shell Dana I don't know if I've ever come out of it I've always wanted
00:46:25
to anybody who needs Dental it's a it's a handicap not to have straight teeth in life it's it's definitely you know no one there are five kids in the family I was the only
00:46:38
one that got braces because I was I my nickname was for a while was Bucky what are you guys figuring to do you know so they said f to do he's gonna be called Bucky unless you do something so at
00:46:51
first my parents didn't have money they could only put them on the top so the bottoms were all like like crooked then
00:46:58
the orthodontist said to me can you just develop a habit of of just pushing that
00:47:04
tooth or push it back that was going to be for real for real just could you possibly just push that tooth back over time but that that didn't fly I fck are
00:47:16
you listening to me I said I don't think I can do that but yeah it would have been a very different life but I did uh pay for the bottoms when the door closed he goes
00:47:26
sayy Bucky you know how a sucky and you go I'm sorry what and he goes nothing what nothing and you're
00:47:34
like and then you go hey have you seen my new Chada spray the guy in the face with his
00:47:41
Fe I'm trying to do your face like it's so good you got to go up to the camera look right in it m you know how to sucky
00:47:49
fella young F Well that's what you do you go to the camera I was going here yeah go to the camera dude that's the
00:47:55
funniest that was a good on mhm it helps a joke and M need help it does all right
00:48:02
all right so let's we could wrap on that right we did pretty good I think we did pretty good um we don't want to torture our
00:48:09
audience smash that subscribe button and uh smash the [ __ ] out of it we'll we'll make history come see me on the road
00:48:16
David spay where am I going first this week where you going David where you going to Seattle Seattle next to
00:48:22
Hartford Connecticut I'm going to hether look me Indianapolis Indianapolis Boise boolis Minneapolis where I did my last
00:48:33
special was great so come check me out great audiences there and U and we'll see you guys next week thanks for tuning in see you next week uh God Save the
00:48:45
Queen God Bless America to all our troops overseas God bless you and to Joe Joseph orbid for 50 years of service yeah a service
00:48:57
and all the lights go off in the convention sir sorry it's over K we're witnessing history let's
00:49:04
see how this whole thing plays out it's going to be interesting let me tell you what it
00:49:10
is I'm not even trying to do Trump anymore bye guys all right peace out thanks for listening or watching
00:49:18
goodbye this has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna
00:49:25
wife sperman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman hope you liked it [Music]