00:00:00
Sebastian, I don't my toenails.
00:00:03
>> No, you went to the fight at the in
00:00:06
towards
00:00:06
>> I should have paused.
00:00:11
>> Directly in front of me is Michael
00:00:12
Irvin, who's a funny dude to talk to,
00:00:14
football player. 1,000% blocks my view
00:00:17
of the fight. 1 million maybe. He stands
00:00:20
up. Anytime they go ding ding, he's up.
00:00:22
And I'm like, there's there's nothing
00:00:24
happened yet. But, you know, if there's
00:00:26
like a full beatdown, everyone jumps up.
00:00:28
But he he jumps up if there's a shin
00:00:31
kick. I follow,
00:00:34
you know, like Sarah or Marcelo and they
00:00:37
they just they
00:00:38
>> Sarah Marcelo.
00:00:40
>> Yeah.
00:00:40
>> And so they play clips or I follow SNL
00:00:43
or I follow NBC or I follow that general
00:00:45
area of uh location of 30 Rock
00:00:49
>> and I follow Midtown Manhattan.
00:00:53
>> Do you follow me on Instagram,
00:00:55
>> Dana? Not right now. Just because I'm
00:00:57
kind of keeping a tight friend group.
00:01:00
>> Oh, yeah. Danny, you should come visit.
00:01:02
>> I don't get vertical without a paycheck.
00:01:05
All right.
00:01:06
>> What's vertical get in the air?
00:01:08
>> Yeah, that's the thing is like, let me
00:01:12
let me let me quiz you right away. Uh,
00:01:15
>> yeah. Go.
00:01:16
>> You're uh you're 10 12 year old David.
00:01:20
>> Yeah.
00:01:20
>> Like Batman's on, mommy. you know,
00:01:24
>> and you see a comedian and you're kind
00:01:25
of like, you have a little daydream in
00:01:27
your head like, maybe I could do that.
00:01:30
>> Yeah.
00:01:30
>> And you thought you'd be on a set or
00:01:33
you'd be in a studio.
00:01:36
Um, and then you spend your whole life
00:01:38
up in the air.
00:01:41
>> Oh. To say, "Oh, I'm going to be a
00:01:43
standup."
00:01:45
>> Yeah. And I'm going to do that. And then
00:01:46
you realize that like we um we have
00:01:50
getting a message. This is David. Your
00:01:53
laptop's still slightly in frame.
00:01:58
>> Oh, we're trying to do our bits. Yeah,
00:02:00
>> this is coming. It's just coming in cuz
00:02:02
I did a um
00:02:04
>> a gig in Miami and we decided to drive
00:02:08
from where I am sort of north.
00:02:12
>> So, it's three hours to the airport.
00:02:13
There's a three-hour delay and then the
00:02:16
flight. So, from point to point, it was
00:02:18
13 hours.
00:02:20
Now, when I did my performance there, it
00:02:22
was a for this sort of event and I did
00:02:26
45 minutes and then I had another 13
00:02:29
hours back. And you go, well, what do
00:02:31
you really do? Well, I do stand up for
00:02:35
45 minutes. Traveler. Yeah.
00:02:37
>> And I travel for 25 hours.
00:02:39
>> Yeah.
00:02:40
>> What am I really doing? Am I doing
00:02:43
>> Yeah, I understand that. I mean,
00:02:44
>> do you really?
00:02:46
>> I don't.
00:02:47
>> Don't hate my hair.
00:02:49
We have different hair day. Yours is
00:02:51
fluffy and loose and carefree and fancy
00:02:53
free and mine is shellaced.
00:02:55
>> Yeah. You just put like super glue on
00:02:58
it, right? And it just stays for like a
00:03:00
week.
00:03:00
>> I'm trying. I try to keep it because I
00:03:01
have to have it. Are you trying shows?
00:03:05
>> That's your second. Are you uh But am I
00:03:09
is my head too high in the frame or are
00:03:11
you okay with it?
00:03:12
>> No, I think I think you're okay. I just
00:03:13
get I get messages. Excuse me. Come in.
00:03:16
Come in. Holtzman. Holtzman one, come
00:03:18
in.
00:03:19
>> They don't know is that we get tight
00:03:20
messages like, "Everything you're saying
00:03:23
sounds stupid. Change it." We're like,
00:03:24
"Oh, okay.
00:03:26
>> Hey, we're 400 shows in. What do you
00:03:28
want?"
00:03:28
>> Yeah.
00:03:30
>> It's called fresh out of ideas.
00:03:32
>> No, we're fresh but out of ideas.
00:03:39
>> Yeah. I I was Okay. I went to the UFC
00:03:42
fight this weekend.
00:03:43
>> Of course you did.
00:03:44
>> Ronda Rousey.
00:03:46
>> Oh, yeah. Gina Corano,
00:03:48
>> is that how you say it?
00:03:49
>> Love Rousey.
00:03:50
>> Both lovely ladies back in the swing
00:03:53
after a while. And uh
00:03:56
>> you know it's funny because Dana, first
00:03:58
of all,
00:04:00
>> it was at the Inuit
00:04:03
Center. Are you Are you into it?
00:04:06
>> That was It's the dome though. It's not
00:04:08
the It's a dome because it's it's based
00:04:11
on the Intuit Native Americans from from
00:04:15
Alaska. Is it really
00:04:17
>> the intuitit Native Americans made their
00:04:19
way down and just said we here build big
00:04:23
dome and then that
00:04:24
>> I'm sure that's what they wanted one day
00:04:26
>> part of history and so the stadium was
00:04:29
you know I think it's a tax planning
00:04:31
thing
00:04:32
>> I know I was about to say it's
00:04:34
>> but I had you going
00:04:36
>> that's true because in Arizona we have
00:04:38
the garbage can open or something it
00:04:41
used to be called the Phoenix open where
00:04:43
I was a whole reporter everyone
00:04:46
Let's get picked up by some golf.
00:04:48
>> Hey man,
00:04:49
>> golf.
00:04:50
>> What is it called when you're ahead of
00:04:51
your time?
00:04:53
>> [ __ ] rocking.
00:04:55
>> Well, we had the 50s going, "Hey, it's
00:04:58
it's Colgate Comedy Hour." Went dormant
00:05:01
for decades. Then it came out in 97 with
00:05:04
a show called The Taco Bell Dana Carvey
00:05:07
Show. People said, "That's nuts." People
00:05:10
said, "You're crazy." And I We didn't
00:05:12
get paid. We just thought it was funny.
00:05:15
You can't really You didn't get paid by
00:05:16
Taco.
00:05:17
>> Didn't get a penny. We just thought it
00:05:18
was funny.
00:05:19
>> That's even funny.
00:05:20
>> And then Yeah. 30 years later,
00:05:22
>> I just thought you got paid for that.
00:05:24
>> Nah, not a nickel.
00:05:25
>> Not from the talk.
00:05:27
>> Not a god.
00:05:28
>> I mean, they made
00:05:30
>> they didn't give me a personal check.
00:05:32
No.
00:05:33
>> What's funny about Taco Bell is
00:05:35
everything's the same. You get a
00:05:36
burrito, just beans, cheese, lettuce
00:05:38
wrapped up. You get a tostada, it's just
00:05:40
open.
00:05:41
A taco, it's like that.
00:05:43
>> I know. You know, I same ingredients.
00:05:45
>> If you're at a party, okay, and they
00:05:47
have orurves, do you want a big sloppy
00:05:50
thing that's going to drip all over? You
00:05:52
kind of want like a tea sandwich. So, I
00:05:55
I like a bite. Nothing that's going to
00:05:57
explode. You get a burger with all the
00:05:59
lettuce and everything. You take a bite.
00:06:01
>> I like a
00:06:02
>> tomato.
00:06:05
That
00:06:07
That's new. I want to write it down. A
00:06:09
tomato being expuned from a bun. [ __ ]
00:06:13
lady.
00:06:15
Here's the Here's the onion on the other
00:06:17
side of your hamburger.
00:06:20
>> Here's the Here's the pickles being
00:06:22
Here's the pickle being squeezed out.
00:06:25
>> No, I
00:06:27
Everyone's pushing.
00:06:29
>> Yeah, I like it inside the button. It's
00:06:31
okay. I'd love to stay inside of this.
00:06:32
>> No, I don't want to be injected.
00:06:37
>> I'm repelling down a shredded lettuce.
00:06:41
We should never smoke weed before we
00:06:42
come on.
00:06:43
>> It is funny though. We get so on
00:06:45
tangents. I met the UFC fight.
00:06:47
>> Oh yeah. Let's go back to your story and
00:06:49
then I'll I'll hit you my other story
00:06:51
later.
00:06:51
>> And it's it's Netflix, not not the Dana
00:06:54
White UFC. It's a little off-brand. Uh
00:06:58
you know Netflix likes to
00:06:59
>> Can we put Ronda Rossi in do the first
00:07:02
part because I want to put her in
00:07:03
context.
00:07:04
>> Yes. Okay. So So I go there. I feel like
00:07:08
I'll be close because, you know, when
00:07:10
Netflix asks you to come or, you know,
00:07:12
something like that,
00:07:13
>> you were invited.
00:07:15
>> I'm second row,
00:07:17
>> right?
00:07:17
>> Which I might as well been last row
00:07:20
>> because when I go with UFC, it's first
00:07:24
row and I get so spoiled because
00:07:25
nothing's in front of you. There's Ari
00:07:28
Emanuel, there's people that are like
00:07:29
announcing and then there's
00:07:31
>> the the fight. But with this one, just
00:07:35
one row if you're a bit of a pipsqueak.
00:07:37
So now it's like coach, you know, I know
00:07:40
it's your precious into a dome, but it's
00:07:42
a little I think it's just different
00:07:44
seats for the fight. So I'm squeaking
00:07:46
down my row
00:07:49
around me is like Tommy Lee. No, Tommy
00:07:53
Lee.
00:07:53
>> All right.
00:07:54
>> Hey K Adams. A lot of fighters actually.
00:07:56
Oh, Sebastian's in my row.
00:07:59
>> Sebastian my toenails. No, you went to
00:08:03
the fight at the in
00:08:05
>> I should have paused for this.
00:08:11
>> We're paying the watch. What? What?
00:08:13
Wait, what's going on?
00:08:17
>> Donovan Mitchell's down there clipping
00:08:20
his
00:08:22
>> Donovan Mitchell. Is he from the
00:08:24
Clippers?
00:08:25
>> No, he's from Cleveland Cavaliers. I
00:08:27
don't know. It popped into my head. I
00:08:29
don't know. The Clippers are clipping
00:08:30
their toenails. That would be
00:08:31
ridiculous.
00:08:34
>> Well, the uh Minneapolis tow heads are
00:08:37
actually a minor league baseball team.
00:08:40
>> Okay. Sometimes you're fibbing.
00:08:42
>> No, they're either blonde or somebody
00:08:44
clips their toes. Yeah.
00:08:45
>> So, my row has got Oh, behind me is
00:08:48
Hannah Storm, who's a sports announcer
00:08:51
reporter.
00:08:52
>> Cool name.
00:08:53
>> Very cool. Very cool. Talk to her a lot.
00:08:55
And then directly in front of me is
00:08:58
Michael Irvin, who's a funny dude to
00:08:59
talk to, football player. 1,000% blocks
00:09:02
my view of the fight. One million maybe.
00:09:05
He stands up. Anytime they go ding,
00:09:07
ding, he's up. And I'm like, there's
00:09:09
there's nothing happened yet. But, you
00:09:11
know, if there's like a full beatdown,
00:09:12
everyone jumps up. But he he jumps up if
00:09:16
there's a shin kick.
00:09:19
So anyway, I I keep going, Michael, I
00:09:23
can't see really when you're sitting.
00:09:25
And now when you stand, it's really
00:09:27
over. And then there's all the netting.
00:09:28
And then there's cameras. So, and then
00:09:31
the stage is a little higher.
00:09:34
>> So, you're trying to like look at the
00:09:36
far side of Nate Diaz's
00:09:39
>> head being. So, I sort of went because
00:09:41
Nate was in Bus Boys. Oh, a few people
00:09:43
remember. Thank you. Bus Boys coming on
00:09:45
video live streaming soon.
00:09:47
>> Video on demand soon. Yeah. So anyway,
00:09:50
it's fun. It's crazy. The fights are
00:09:52
pretty quick, so there's a lot of It's
00:09:53
like a nightclub now. There's music.
00:09:55
Everyone's just in their row.
00:09:57
>> Just kind of.
00:09:58
>> So I,
00:09:58
>> oh, it's end of day stuff. And
00:10:01
>> I go up and really bother one of my
00:10:03
favorite UFC fighters and tap him on the
00:10:06
shoulder. He's 50 feet tall. I'm like,
00:10:07
excuse me. It's It's a bit of a hustle
00:10:09
and bustle, but it's hard to hear my
00:10:12
voice. If I could scribble down
00:10:13
something. So, so John John Bones Jones
00:10:19
>> was there watching
00:10:20
>> the greatest fighter ever, maybe.
00:10:22
>> Yeah, I would say arguably
00:10:23
>> he's might be like goat. Go ahead.
00:10:26
>> Didn't want to hype it up too much, but
00:10:27
yeah. So, I was like, I got to just ruin
00:10:29
this guy's night. So, I say hi. Very
00:10:31
cool. We talked for a minute, then he
00:10:33
says. Anyway, says, "You don't have my
00:10:35
number. Can I put it in your phone?"
00:10:38
>> Jon Jones, you don't have my number.
00:10:41
That's a little forward, isn't I have a
00:10:43
thing with guys, celebrities that I
00:10:45
never ask him for their number. It's
00:10:46
always too weird. So, I like that he
00:10:48
said something cuz I would have said,
00:10:49
"Oh, yeah. We should go to Waterburger
00:10:52
someday. We should do something." You
00:10:53
know, these are bad examples. So, we
00:10:54
should do something because I like
00:10:57
hanging out with them. Anyway, we had a
00:10:59
fun four minutes and he's putting his
00:11:02
number in. I'm looking like this
00:11:05
to people like, "Oh yeah,
00:11:07
>> they're not looking at the fight
00:11:08
anymore. They're watching.
00:11:09
>> It's in between fights. It's just like a
00:11:11
>> I was just said what if everyone would
00:11:13
be very excited. Jon Jones is is giving
00:11:15
spay to
00:11:16
>> Bones Jones.
00:11:17
>> He's being very he's a very cool
00:11:19
softspoken normal guy.
00:11:21
>> Yeah.
00:11:21
>> For a guy who's had his bell rung.
00:11:24
>> Stop me if you don't know these terms.
00:11:26
But he's been rattled. But he
00:11:29
>> but not as much as a lot of
00:11:31
>> eloquent guy. Yeah.
00:11:33
>> There was some other guys there that are
00:11:34
like I sound like Don Rickles going are
00:11:37
we at a fight?
00:11:39
What time is the bar mitzvah? You know,
00:11:41
they don't know where they're at. So,
00:11:44
>> Jon Jones is in the corner. Give him a
00:11:46
cookie. The fight started a half hour
00:11:48
ago.
00:11:48
>> Can I get a glass of milk? Um, anyway,
00:11:51
so he says to me, he says to me, he
00:11:54
says,
00:11:55
I says, I says I says he goes, by the
00:11:58
way, next fight, Ronda Rousey, it'll
00:12:00
probably be over in under a minute by
00:12:02
Arbar.
00:12:04
>> Oh, really?
00:12:05
>> Yeah, that's the most interesting thing
00:12:06
he said. He also said Nate Diaz got so
00:12:09
cut. He goes it's kind of a drag for him
00:12:11
because he's such a good fighter and he
00:12:13
will never quit.
00:12:14
>> But he has thin skin and from all these,
00:12:17
>> you know, scars and stuff. It cut so
00:12:19
easily. He's always bloody.
00:12:22
>> He was bloody in the bus cuz I bumped
00:12:25
into him.
00:12:26
>> So he's like bleeding too much. Heather
00:12:28
saw it, too.
00:12:29
>> He's bleeding too much. They stop the
00:12:31
fight.
00:12:32
>> That's a drag cuz he would keep
00:12:34
fighting. He doesn't care. Plus, when
00:12:35
you get hit in the face so much, your
00:12:36
face is numb. So, they're just like, "We
00:12:38
can keep fighting."
00:12:40
>> I just say one word to describe those
00:12:42
dudes. Him and his brother. Stockton.
00:12:45
>> Stocked.
00:12:45
>> They They came out fighting for badass.
00:12:48
First day of kindergarten. Those guys
00:12:50
fighting their whole lives. And they'll
00:12:52
they'll take so much punishment and keep
00:12:54
coming.
00:12:55
>> Yeah. They love to talk [ __ ] too. So,
00:12:57
anyway, I saw him. I was bummed he lost,
00:12:58
but I thought it was very interesting
00:13:00
that he said that because he knows
00:13:03
everything so well. So then I sit down.
00:13:05
Ding ding. Ronda Rousey armbar. 17
00:13:07
seconds.
00:13:09
>> Well, here's the thing I want to ask you
00:13:12
cuz I was watching NBA last night and
00:13:14
even NBA every second it's betting every
00:13:17
second. What's the main one?
00:13:20
>> Oh, DraftKings, that kind of stuff.
00:13:22
>> Every second under, over during the game
00:13:25
on the TV.
00:13:26
>> Yeah. Yeah. In the commercials more now
00:13:28
in the in the commercial break.
00:13:30
>> Betting live. You can lose you can lose
00:13:32
money even faster.
00:13:34
So, did did you place any bets and did
00:13:37
Jon Jones place a who who's the person
00:13:39
who thought the other person would win?
00:13:40
Not Ronda Rossi. Did they place a bet
00:13:42
and lose?
00:13:43
>> Gina.
00:13:43
>> Mhm. Gina.
00:13:44
>> Um I didn't
00:13:46
>> Who was the under over? You're a bad
00:13:48
>> Oh, I think they said Rhonda. I I can't
00:13:52
remember because I just thought I don't
00:13:54
like to see the ladies fight for some
00:13:56
reason. But
00:13:57
>> the ladies
00:13:58
>> I really felt like the ladies that are
00:14:01
10 times tougher than me.
00:14:02
>> They're like 32. It's not like
00:14:05
>> because they Well, I think Rhonda got
00:14:08
they're friends. So I think she got it
00:14:10
over with fast so they wouldn't have to
00:14:11
beat the [ __ ] out of each other cuz they
00:14:13
like each other.
00:14:14
>> Well, but was it was it a real victory
00:14:17
then or was it kind of like let's get
00:14:18
this over fast?
00:14:19
>> I don't know. I don't know. people say
00:14:21
it, but I mean she she's good at
00:14:23
jiu-jitsu, Ronda Rousey, and
00:14:25
>> so if she gets the right knock when she
00:14:27
plans to come knock you down right away,
00:14:29
you think they'd stand up and fight a
00:14:30
bit.
00:14:31
>> If you're not ready for it, you go down.
00:14:33
Then once you're down, you're [ __ ] cuz
00:14:34
she gets she's like a spider monkey. She
00:14:36
gets on you.
00:14:37
>> She's um she was like a a superstar in
00:14:40
in you know,
00:14:42
>> UFC,
00:14:43
>> UFC. And then
00:14:44
>> and she went to wrestling too.
00:14:45
>> And then she went to wrestling or she
00:14:47
was sort of retired, right? And then she
00:14:49
was in a couple movies. She's
00:14:51
charismatic. She's
00:14:52
>> very pretty. Uh very good at her job.
00:14:55
>> And then you see this wipe out. It just
00:14:58
goes in, boom, wins over and then
00:15:00
immediately says, "That's it. I'm done."
00:15:03
That was interesting. I'll never do this
00:15:04
again.
00:15:05
>> Yeah. Gina Corono is very tough. She was
00:15:08
probably She probably won more. I'm
00:15:09
probably wrong, but I just remember
00:15:11
hearing she was such a
00:15:13
>> ass kicker in the day. And then uh but
00:15:15
she's been out of the game for a while
00:15:17
>> and then she got cancelled. remember.
00:15:19
So, she really had nothing going. Then
00:15:21
she gained 100 pounds. Did you know
00:15:22
that?
00:15:23
>> Well, what did those connection? She got
00:15:25
cancelled and then she gained 100
00:15:27
pounds. Okay. Is it a to-do list
00:15:32
and then get beaten up by Ronda Rossy?
00:15:34
>> She really had a hard run there. Yeah,
00:15:35
Heather's right. Because I think she
00:15:37
probably gained weight because she had
00:15:39
everything sort of taken away. Now she's
00:15:41
what what are you doing all day when
00:15:42
your one thing is to go fight or act?
00:15:44
She doesn't do either really. and then
00:15:47
to have this opportunity. She said I
00:15:49
before the fight she said
00:15:51
I would never have lost this weight if
00:15:53
Rhonda hadn't have waited for me. She
00:15:55
said they offered her the fight and she
00:15:57
wasn't ready and want Rhonda said I'll
00:15:59
wait for her. And so she lost weight and
00:16:01
she said I owe it to her because I
00:16:03
wouldn't have lost the weight. There's
00:16:05
no reason.
00:16:06
>> Right.
00:16:06
>> A lot of hugging.
00:16:08
>> That's cool. Right.
00:16:09
>> I like it.
00:16:09
>> I liked it. And that's why I thought,
00:16:11
oh, they don't want to beat the [ __ ] out
00:16:12
of each other. And, you know, the guys
00:16:14
are usually tough talking and throwing
00:16:16
kicks at the at the way and, you know,
00:16:18
throwing bottles at each other, like
00:16:19
hyping it up.
00:16:21
>> Well, they always seem like they've
00:16:23
fostered a true hate, the two fighters
00:16:25
in the UFC, like vitriol. And then the
00:16:28
fight is brutal and all this and that,
00:16:30
and then the second over, they're just
00:16:32
hugging it up. I love you, man. It's
00:16:35
like, you are a champion. the best
00:16:39
>> pretty much. Yeah.
00:16:43
>> All right, David. Um, just going to
00:16:46
throw this out here. Do you ever go to a
00:16:47
grocery store and just stand there
00:16:49
staring at all the options? First
00:16:50
question,
00:16:52
>> trying to figure out what's actually
00:16:54
good, right?
00:16:55
>> Like what's worth it, what's not, what
00:16:57
do you actually trust?
00:16:59
>> I used to overthink it every single
00:17:01
time. Now, at some point, I realized I'd
00:17:02
rather just have that part handled
00:17:05
>> and know it's a high quality and locally
00:17:07
sourced every single time. That's why
00:17:10
we're introducing Good Ranchers.
00:17:13
Honestly, as a subscriber, it's been a
00:17:14
total game changer for my kitchen.
00:17:16
>> Oh, yeah. That's right. Well, their
00:17:18
mission is about bridging the gap
00:17:19
between American families and local
00:17:21
farms. You could tell the difference
00:17:23
when you're cooking it. It's 100%
00:17:24
American meat delivered straight to the
00:17:26
door.
00:17:27
>> I don't have to guess about the quality
00:17:29
anymore once you're in there.
00:17:31
ribe eyes and chicken breasta binga b
00:17:33
>> better than anything um
00:17:35
>> better than anything I'm finding in my
00:17:36
local store. You know, if you want to
00:17:37
simplify your life, support American
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Ranchers, now's the time to do it. Start
00:17:41
your plan today. You'll get free meat
00:17:43
for life
00:17:44
>> and $100 off your first three orders.
00:17:47
Whoa.
00:17:48
>> Or if you want to just give it a try,
00:17:50
>> you get $40 off your first order
00:17:52
instead. Just go to goodranchers.com,
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use my code fly at checkout. That's $100
00:17:59
off your first three orders or $40 off
00:18:02
your first order with my code fly this
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month only. Goodranchers.com.
00:18:07
American meat
00:18:09
>> delivered. Delivered right to your door.
00:18:12
Well, so anyway, that was I don't want
00:18:14
to milk too much on the fight. There was
00:18:16
the fight. Um
00:18:19
>> went to Arizona, saw my lovely mama
00:18:22
>> and
00:18:22
>> my mama did a little book that she's
00:18:24
putting together on Amazon. It's so
00:18:25
funny. getting older. So,
00:18:27
>> it's her third.
00:18:29
>> It's her third one, but they're going to
00:18:30
put them all together in one book.
00:18:32
>> Oh,
00:18:32
>> yeah. So, I'm going to say it on here.
00:18:34
So, for a stocking stuffer,
00:18:37
>> you might get one for 5% off. D.
00:18:40
>> Well, for people don't know about it
00:18:41
because people always have a bucket
00:18:43
list. Maybe I'll write a book someday.
00:18:44
You know, I don't know.
00:18:47
>> You don't need a publisher. You don't
00:18:49
have to audition the book. You can make
00:18:51
a deal with Amazon. If someone presses
00:18:53
the button, wants your book, they'll
00:18:55
make the book and send you your your
00:18:57
share of the profits. So,
00:19:00
>> right. I think that's something with
00:19:01
Amazon and her friends are helping her,
00:19:04
>> right?
00:19:09
>> Lauren, you got stuck in Lauren.
00:19:10
>> I got stuck in Lauren Face,
00:19:12
>> right?
00:19:15
>> Will Pharaoh was on SNL?
00:19:18
>> Yeah, I wanted to talk about that for a
00:19:19
second. just that um when my I think
00:19:25
about the season and I know how hard it
00:19:27
is, you know how hard it is and the ups
00:19:28
and downs and this and that. I just
00:19:30
thought it was a really good season. I
00:19:32
think that
00:19:34
>> Yeah, I think that of course Ashley
00:19:35
Padilla emerged. Um
00:19:40
I'm so sorry. I don't know the name of
00:19:43
the gentleman who does Tucker Carlson.
00:19:46
Look that up, will you, Heather or Greg?
00:19:50
It's not Dez Mukes, is it? Here,
00:19:51
Heather.
00:19:52
>> No, but he's he's great. Um, SNL cast
00:19:56
me.
00:19:58
You got already
00:19:59
>> Jeremy Cohane.
00:20:01
>> Jeremy Cohane. Uh, he's done a lot of
00:20:04
really cool things on that show. And
00:20:06
then as Tucker Carlson, he just kind of
00:20:07
owned it. You know, is this what we're
00:20:10
doing? You know, what's going on? Is is
00:20:13
this a new rule? You know, it was very
00:20:15
very very well done. And Ashley Ashley
00:20:18
is great at taking pauses and bursts of
00:20:21
weird anger. Like you don't know, she's
00:20:24
kind of a fresh weird way to do neurotic
00:20:27
people.
00:20:28
>> Um she was extraordinary. And then I
00:20:30
think that uh Colin Jo was so perfect
00:20:33
and had such a good time. It was a lot
00:20:35
of energy him doing um
00:20:39
>> he had heith.
00:20:40
>> Oh.
00:20:41
>> Yeah. Because because they'd done so
00:20:43
much Trump. They still do Trump. But I
00:20:45
think even in my own standup, Trump is a
00:20:47
little, you know, it's like a horse at
00:20:49
the end of the race. Like we've seen a
00:20:51
lot. But that was kind of
00:20:52
>> Hat on a hat at this point.
00:20:53
>> That was kind of a new funny high energy
00:20:56
take. So I thought it was a pretty good
00:20:57
season. Dave, what's your two stars?
00:21:02
>> David, what did you think of season 51
00:21:06
season?
00:21:07
>> I see clips on Instagram because I'm
00:21:10
[ __ ] at the clubs, dude. I'm not
00:21:13
>> It's called
00:21:15
record it.
00:21:16
>> No, they're like, "It starts at 11:30,
00:21:18
but now you can watch it at 8:30." And
00:21:20
I'm like, "That's too late."
00:21:21
>> No, here's what you do is you go on
00:21:23
YouTube the next morning, you go last
00:21:26
night.
00:21:26
>> I just go on I I follow,
00:21:30
you know, like Sarah or Marcelo and they
00:21:32
they just they
00:21:33
>> Sarah Marcelo.
00:21:35
>> Yeah. And so they play clips or I follow
00:21:37
SNL or I follow NBC or I follow that
00:21:40
general area of uh location
00:21:43
>> of 30 Rock
00:21:44
>> and I follow Midtown Manhattan.
00:21:48
>> Do you follow me on Instagram?
00:21:50
>> Dana, not right now just because I'm
00:21:52
kind of keeping a tight friend group. I
00:21:55
was thinking today when people Heather
00:21:57
I'll understand this when people I'm
00:21:59
watching their stories you know on
00:22:01
Instagram you don't f you don't do it as
00:22:02
much but they put their day-to-day stuff
00:22:05
>> and after a while cuz you know I know
00:22:07
them somewhere where they said follow me
00:22:09
and after a while I go
00:22:11
>> this is like a TV show that I've lost
00:22:13
interest in that I don't know I don't
00:22:15
know how to get out of anymore like they
00:22:18
keep popping up like I'm they're just
00:22:20
flatlining now like I have zero interest
00:22:22
and the unfollow is a little much. Just
00:22:24
so you know, it's a little harsh. So, I
00:22:27
found out you can mute their stories and
00:22:30
their main post, but I do the stories
00:22:33
and when I get to the point of muting
00:22:34
their main post, it is like they're
00:22:37
disintegrated. Like, you still follow
00:22:39
them. So, there's not that anger and
00:22:42
animosity and hurt and pain and
00:22:45
violence. But,
00:22:46
>> well, there is a button that I found,
00:22:48
oddly enough, instead of unfollow, you
00:22:50
can do quietly quitting. And it's a lot
00:22:53
softer. It's a quiet qu it's not it's a
00:22:57
softer exit for people because if it's
00:22:59
outrageous it's contagious. If it's if
00:23:02
it's someone making cocoa it ain't
00:23:06
soaring it's boring. Just made that
00:23:11
>> [ __ ] Heather printing t-shirts and
00:23:13
bumper stickers.
00:23:14
>> Not getting clicks with that stupid
00:23:16
tricks.
00:23:18
>> Oh yeah.
00:23:20
I go like this. I quiet quit people. I
00:23:22
go, "Here's your stories. Sh, no more
00:23:24
stories. Sh. No sh quiet time. We should
00:23:27
go to sleep. Go to sleep. It's
00:23:28
chloroform." But you got to be you got
00:23:31
to be either you can be virtual
00:23:33
signaling. You could be like, "I saved a
00:23:36
puppy." You can be highly sexual. Um,
00:23:39
you can be really sad like just not
00:23:42
feeling man, you know?
00:23:44
>> Yeah, I like that.
00:23:45
>> But if it's just you making cocoa or
00:23:47
here's my day, I don't know. I mean, you
00:23:49
you've got 32 million off all platforms.
00:23:54
>> I don't even count anymore. 33.
00:23:56
>> All right. 23.
00:23:58
>> But there's
00:23:59
>> in the millions.
00:24:00
>> There's one the other day, a girl making
00:24:02
pottery. She was kind of cute. She I'm
00:24:03
like, who makes pottery? It's like
00:24:05
ghost. And of course, they all turn into
00:24:07
the shape of a wiener. I'm like, okay. I
00:24:10
go, oh, this is the this is the hook.
00:24:13
>> Oh, that's the Did they point it out or
00:24:15
it's just so obviously a phallic thing?
00:24:17
Dana,
00:24:18
>> have you seen paper cutting guy? 10
00:24:21
million followers. Hey everybody. Uh, do
00:24:25
some paper cut.
00:24:26
>> Even if you're joking, there is probably
00:24:27
a real guy. So, go ahead.
00:24:28
>> Yeah, we're going to uh
00:24:30
>> Oh, just that.
00:24:31
>> Trim some paper down. We're going to
00:24:34
push him together like this. And now,
00:24:38
let me know what you think this looks
00:24:40
like.
00:24:42
That's a wiener.
00:24:43
>> No, it came out of pipe, I think.
00:24:45
>> Oh, okay. 20 million followers.
00:24:47
>> I was like, I wouldn't stick it in your
00:24:49
mouth. Yeah,
00:24:50
>> this looks like a pipe, fool. Does
00:24:52
everything everything looks like a
00:24:54
wiener to you?
00:24:55
>> I would say
00:24:57
you should oink oink oink oink oink.
00:25:01
>> I got to mix it up. You got you got you
00:25:03
got applause for that.
00:25:04
>> No, but what about I thought you're
00:25:06
going to got I would watch this. Dana,
00:25:08
ready? Do I have any paper?
00:25:11
>> This cardboard. Let's just say it's
00:25:13
paper. Ready?
00:25:14
>> Oh, no. You're doing my bit. Okay.
00:25:16
>> Yeah. But he go but the guy goes like
00:25:18
this
00:25:20
paper cut. Gives himself one. Then he
00:25:24
goes here
00:25:25
>> and he goes and I'd be like, "Okay, it's
00:25:28
something.
00:25:31
Don't make me get my sound effects out
00:25:33
>> because it's too fun."
00:25:35
>> We have a special guest.
00:25:36
>> We have a special guest. Oh, I know.
00:25:38
This is a trick.
00:25:40
>> Oh, G. Okay, I'll hear from Gar.
00:25:43
>> Hi, David Spade. How are you today?
00:25:49
That's funny. I'm going to tell. Wait.
00:25:52
>> Go ahead.
00:25:53
>> How many followers do you have on
00:25:55
Instagram for reals?
00:25:57
>> Um, I have No, I don't have that many.
00:26:00
>> Oh, I didn't think so. I'm going to tell
00:26:03
Mike.
00:26:05
What are you going to tell Mike? His
00:26:06
name's Wayne.
00:26:10
>> Jesus.
00:26:12
I'm gonna tell Wayne. has friends.
00:26:15
>> Doesn't this one sound like Sandler?
00:26:17
>> Why, you know, has friends.
00:26:20
>> God, that does.
00:26:21
>> It does.
00:26:24
>> Hang on. I got to take this.
00:26:28
>> Excuse me.
00:26:29
>> This is Is this entertainment?
00:26:32
I don't know. I don't have a pig.
00:26:36
So mad. This thing's a ripoff.
00:26:39
Can't believe I'm paying $3,000 a month
00:26:41
for this app. If we go to season 4, it's
00:26:45
just going to be sound effect boxes.
00:26:48
$1.99 on
00:26:50
>> Yeah, they do all the work. So, what do
00:26:53
you guys just push the buttons? And I'm
00:26:54
like, yeah, don't worry about it.
00:26:58
>> Uh, by the way, Dana, I did, not to
00:27:01
change gears, lot of
00:27:02
>> Please do
00:27:03
>> chatter about the
00:27:06
data centers. You call them data
00:27:08
centers. You Which one do you call it?
00:27:11
Which one's right?
00:27:12
>> I call them Scooby-Doo centers.
00:27:15
>> Dat Scoo, we got to make data centers,
00:27:18
don't we, Scoo?
00:27:19
>> How much data?
00:27:21
>> Scooby-Doo.
00:27:22
>> Oh jeez.
00:27:24
>> Geez, Scoo, these data centers are
00:27:25
sucking up too much energy.
00:27:28
>> Shocking.
00:27:30
I'm in.
00:27:34
Oh, he's in. That was a good one. Quit
00:27:37
putting peanut butter on. You don't
00:27:39
swag.
00:27:41
He sounds like an old sea captain.
00:27:44
>> Yeah.
00:27:44
>> Hey. Hey, you mies.
00:27:48
>> I like the Halloween. Someone comes as
00:27:50
Velma and makes her like a total [ __ ]
00:27:51
She was a bookworm. Let's not really
00:27:53
reduce her to just like
00:27:55
>> Well, oh. Oh, that whole thing. Yeah.
00:27:58
Just keep keep Scooby-Doo. Scooby-Doo,
00:28:00
please.
00:28:00
>> Keep it clean, guys.
00:28:01
>> Keep it Keep it above the waist.
00:28:03
>> Let's have some fun. Yeah, above the
00:28:05
waistline, son.
00:28:06
>> Keep it Keep them keep them up at all
00:28:08
times. And what do you think about data
00:28:10
centers? This one uses 30 millions of
00:28:13
gallons of water.
00:28:16
Jeez, it's really these data centers are
00:28:18
coming up quick. I can't say I'm for
00:28:20
against I
00:28:21
>> We have hundreds of them already built.
00:28:23
I read 400 already built.
00:28:25
>> Please turn CBS Radford into a data
00:28:28
center.
00:28:29
>> Everything should be a data center I
00:28:30
invested in. Yeah.
00:28:32
>> Uh yeah. Well, uh
00:28:35
>> everything should be a data center. I
00:28:36
heard it's just it's all to store AI and
00:28:40
it uses too much water and electricity
00:28:43
and it's like maybe we don't need AI.
00:28:46
What? We don't need AI.
00:28:49
>> Controversial subject.
00:28:51
>> Well, look, so far it's like me flying
00:28:54
13 hours and then going on stage and
00:28:57
crushing. Whoops.
00:28:58
>> I heard
00:28:59
>> Why? Why are you standing? You don't
00:29:02
have to stand.
00:29:03
>> Oh, you got a standing ovation. like I'm
00:29:06
just doing it. This is what you call an
00:29:08
analogy Scottdale Community College. So
00:29:12
the basic idea is Bajala awaits us. We
00:29:16
have it's the size of Manhattan. We take
00:29:18
a regular AI, a computer chip thing. we
00:29:22
plug it into
00:29:24
millions and millions of GPUs, otherwise
00:29:27
things stacked in little wafers with
00:29:29
tons of global information like it'll
00:29:32
have the history of all mankind and
00:29:34
every science
00:29:39
>> and then it'll come out and go cancer.
00:29:43
Got it.
00:29:45
>> Unlimited clean energy figured it out.
00:29:50
Oh, so so you're for it?
00:29:53
>> Well, I don't think you can put the
00:29:55
genie back in the bottle,
00:29:57
>> you know. And I do think that it it's
00:30:01
seems very dangerous potentially, but
00:30:03
apparently it's going to solve clean
00:30:05
unlimited energy and diseases.
00:30:09
>> Is that what they told you?
00:30:12
>> Is that what you think? Is that Is that
00:30:14
Is that your plan?
00:30:15
>> Oh, okay. Yeah, I heard that one.
00:30:18
>> Uhhuh. Uhhuh. You know, they say they
00:30:20
they just are very honest. They go, "Are
00:30:23
you sad that your town doesn't have
00:30:25
enough places emitting cancer?
00:30:29
You want to build one?"
00:30:32
>> Well, they're building mostly on swamp
00:30:35
areas and stuff, you know.
00:30:37
>> Hey, LET'S GO CATCH SOME CATCH FISH.
00:30:39
WHAT THE [ __ ] IS THAT?
00:30:42
>> Let's call it the data center. Let's
00:30:45
blow it up, Wilbur.
00:30:47
Dude, I don't like living near a
00:30:49
telephone pole. Forget about those
00:30:51
things. Got some condos right next door.
00:30:55
You like this? It's like a breeze in
00:30:57
your face.
00:30:57
>> Do the tomato flying out of the bone
00:30:59
again. You like that one? Okay. Ready?
00:31:01
>> It's very subtle.
00:31:02
>> Take the first bite.
00:31:07
>> It sees a break for freedom.
00:31:09
>> But I got to be honest, Heather, Greg,
00:31:10
break the tie. Does that really sound
00:31:13
like a tomato? Not really.
00:31:17
Oh god. All that for that.
00:31:22
God dang. Got to speak of those Z's. We
00:31:24
have to do buzzing around.
00:31:26
>> Oh yeah, buzzing around.
00:31:29
>> Anytime. Anytime you're ready.
00:31:30
>> Let's do it because then we unless you
00:31:32
have a story because then we have to do
00:31:33
stories.
00:31:34
>> No, this story is evergreen. I didn't
00:31:37
quite get to it, but it's an evergreen.
00:31:39
It's an evergreen story.
00:31:40
>> You know what? That's Gervitz's favorite
00:31:42
thing. You know, you just do a show. You
00:31:44
do evergreen. You guys tape one episode
00:31:46
a year,
00:31:46
>> evergreen. People listen to it in the
00:31:48
year 2045 AND THEY'LL GO, "WOW."
00:31:51
>> For those of you at home, our manager
00:31:54
tells us to do [ __ ] that's evergreen,
00:31:56
which is a term meaning it doesn't have
00:31:59
to be topical or anything. Like on your
00:32:01
podcast, you could do it today, air it
00:32:03
in 5 months, but do it evergreen. You
00:32:05
just talk about I go, "What? Trees?" I
00:32:07
mean, what you want to talk about things
00:32:09
that are relevant to the world, but to
00:32:11
talk about things that could live in any
00:32:13
time and space. It happens in sitcoms
00:32:16
because they're rerunning all the time.
00:32:18
So I would say, "Let's do a Dennis
00:32:19
Rodman joke on Just Shoot Me." And
00:32:21
they'd say,
00:32:22
>> "No, it's got to be Evergreen." That's
00:32:23
the first time I heard it. They go,
00:32:24
"It's just general." Like,
00:32:26
>> you can explain it better.
00:32:27
>> That's why sitcoms if they're about
00:32:30
relationships this and that from the
00:32:31
'9s. I mean, we heard that the Friends
00:32:34
people get 20 million a year now in
00:32:36
residuals. And I guess
00:32:39
>> Ray Romano, our friend, gets 18 million
00:32:42
a year. 20 years later, but Carson gets
00:32:46
almost nothing in reruns or you know
00:32:49
talk shows are highly highly daily top
00:32:51
topical
00:32:52
>> but I would say there's quas evergreen
00:32:55
you know there's trends like AI taxes
00:32:59
>> wait a month to air that but
00:33:00
>> yeah it also when you're
00:33:03
>> a monologue on a talk show is fun
00:33:05
because it's like what happened today
00:33:07
and SNL does what happened this week and
00:33:10
then add Trump but if you're doing like
00:33:12
a regular
00:33:14
podcast. It's kind of like, well, what
00:33:19
can we We We talk about our weekends and
00:33:20
stuff because that's sort of new
00:33:22
information. Other than that, like,
00:33:24
let's say I talked about getting a
00:33:25
massage in my standup.
00:33:27
>> That's kind of evergreen. When did it
00:33:29
happen? Who knows,
00:33:30
>> right?
00:33:31
>> A funny massage at a random hotel.
00:33:34
>> Yeah, that's that's completely Your act
00:33:36
is pretty evergreen. Actually, mine's
00:33:37
more topical because here on the road
00:33:40
like
00:33:41
>> Yeah. this place that I I played for,
00:33:44
they said, "Please, only historical
00:33:49
political figures,
00:33:50
>> only old ones."
00:33:51
>> And I said, "I need I need Yeah, this is
00:33:53
real." And I said, "I need more
00:33:55
specity." And they said, "Well,
00:33:58
>> nothing after Obama. And if you do
00:34:01
Obama, make sure you also make fun of um
00:34:04
the opposite side of the aisle."
00:34:06
>> Oh, they want to make sure it's okay.
00:34:07
Yeah. So it's like it's like what you
00:34:09
call a hot oven to a lot of people. It's
00:34:11
very heated. So I I didn't mind. I'll do
00:34:14
evergreen stuff. I got tons of it.
00:34:18
>> Obama. That's a you got evergreen.
00:34:21
Evergreen is something that's
00:34:22
>> chefs go
00:34:23
>> forever. That's that's why it's called
00:34:25
evergreen. It's green meaning you can
00:34:28
make cash
00:34:29
>> for the rest of your life. Michelle.
00:34:31
>> Yeah.
00:34:31
>> Michelle, I don't want I'm on I'm on
00:34:33
with David Spade. Nope. I don't I don't
00:34:35
need the egg salad. Just Nope. Don't
00:34:37
need it now. Just leave it out. Thank
00:34:39
you.
00:34:40
>> She makes some sandwiches.
00:34:43
>> Michelle, no. Just put the egg salad.
00:34:45
Well, all right. Oh, get make me a small
00:34:47
sandwich. I'll be there in a second. I'm
00:34:48
talking to my friend Davis.
00:34:51
>> You could do a You could do a bit about
00:34:52
a sandwich.
00:34:54
>> SANDWICHES WILL ALWAYS BE AROUND. I LOVE
00:34:57
DAVIS.
00:34:58
>> EXACTLY.
00:35:00
You know what, Evergreen? Even trees.
00:35:02
You could do a joke about trees.
00:35:04
Everyone has a tree and they stick
00:35:05
around for a long time.
00:35:06
>> By the way, Byron Allen,
00:35:08
>> who's our friend from Standup World, you
00:35:12
know, who's a who's a mogul,
00:35:13
>> sure,
00:35:14
>> is taking over for Steven Colbear slot.
00:35:16
He's paying CBS to put his stuff in
00:35:18
there.
00:35:19
>> And he can he's got Comics Unleashed or
00:35:22
something. And the rule is you have to
00:35:24
be evergreen, relationships, dogs,
00:35:26
everything.
00:35:27
>> Yeah.
00:35:27
>> No current event thing. So, he goes make
00:35:30
a lot of money that But he really plucks
00:35:32
people's axe because you have to go in
00:35:33
there with seven bits for real and
00:35:35
you're like [ __ ] If you're a new comic,
00:35:37
you're like, "Am I getting rid of all my
00:35:38
good stuff here?"
00:35:40
That's a tough one. By the way, Coar
00:35:42
Swan song is like the Super Bowl. I'm
00:35:44
like, they're like, they were showing
00:35:46
clips on the news this morning like in
00:35:47
his final week. I'm like, is this this
00:35:50
big of a deal? I go he had on his second
00:35:53
to last show such luminaries as Weird
00:35:57
Al. I'm like, weird is great, but do I
00:36:00
need to see a clip? I mean, let's wait
00:36:02
till the very last show. Let's show the
00:36:04
clip. What happened at the end? You
00:36:06
know, Colonial will come on or something
00:36:07
and they'll be like, "This will be
00:36:08
great." And
00:36:10
>> but but
00:36:12
three weeks, actually, a year of windup
00:36:14
is is a is a little much. Personally,
00:36:17
it's fine, but I mean, is it really
00:36:21
>> Go ahead. You can't say anything.
00:36:23
>> No, I would just say this. I mean, um,
00:36:26
there's a lot of ways to do this now.
00:36:29
Look at us. We're kind of on TV right
00:36:31
now. You know,
00:36:33
>> it's all about the same. Yeah.
00:36:34
>> Yeah. I mean, he will have more
00:36:36
flexibility uh to do that kind of stuff.
00:36:39
He's writing a Lord of the Rings script
00:36:41
with with his son and another person.
00:36:43
>> That's what we were going to do when we
00:36:44
quit.
00:36:45
>> Yeah, I know.
00:36:46
>> Let's do um a Star Wars.
00:36:50
>> Let's write a new Star Wars.
00:36:54
called Wars of Stars.
00:36:57
>> I'll play uh Middleife Crisis Yo Yoda.
00:37:01
He's not Baby Yoda and he's not the old
00:37:03
Yoda. He's a guy getting a gut.
00:37:06
>> I'll play Harrison Ford's dad 50 years
00:37:09
ago. Chewy, get me out of here.
00:37:13
>> Get off this plane. I told you when when
00:37:17
they George Lucas told the the guy who
00:37:19
plays Chewy,
00:37:20
>> he had to call him up and go, "We're not
00:37:22
going to have you in the next Star
00:37:24
Wars." Yeah. And then on the phone, all
00:37:26
he heard was
00:37:30
>> he called him directly and Shimmy went
00:37:35
and he goes, "I think does that sound
00:37:37
good?" And Shy's like, and he goes, "Is
00:37:40
it bad? I can't really tell. I'm trying
00:37:41
to guess your tone."
00:37:43
>> Yeah. And he said, he said, "My tone
00:37:46
changes."
00:37:53
>> He goes, "Chew, can you just shave
00:37:55
everything but the beard?"
00:37:57
>> You know, ironically, Chewy had no
00:37:59
teeth. The actual character of Chewy had
00:38:01
no teeth.
00:38:02
>> Oh, he's very
00:38:02
>> So, he couldn't actually be Chewy. He
00:38:04
could be gummy. He should have been
00:38:05
called gummy.
00:38:06
>> He actually scared people, but if if
00:38:08
push came to shove, he couldn't really
00:38:10
bite them. I don't think
00:38:13
>> this is Star Wars trivia. We are so far
00:38:16
off our subject. What are we even
00:38:17
talking about?
00:38:18
>> Push comes to shove, he couldn't bite
00:38:21
him. That's one of your greatest lines
00:38:26
because you know they get a lot of
00:38:27
precarious situations with the bad
00:38:29
>> because it was done kind of seriously.
00:38:31
Push comes to shove, he couldn't buy it.
00:38:33
>> If Harrison Ford saw a bunch of
00:38:35
stormtroopers, he goes, I'll take the
00:38:36
leash off of Chewy. Hey, this is not
00:38:39
Jeffrey Epste. Oh, sorry.
00:38:42
>> He popping.
00:38:43
>> No, he was just going to say I like that
00:38:45
when push comes to chef. He couldn't
00:38:47
bite him. I'M NOT JEFFREY EPSTEIN. LOOK
00:38:50
AT THE MUSTACHE. [ __ ] FACE.
00:38:52
>> HEY,
00:38:54
NO. CHEWY. Chewy was like a service dog
00:38:57
at that point. Like he's just an animal
00:38:59
on the spaceship with him and harmless.
00:39:04
>> Chewy, get me out of here. I just like
00:39:06
get off my plane.
00:39:08
>> Come on. Can do we have We need another
00:39:11
Harrison Ford as a
00:39:13
>> We have to do Buzzing Around. We haven't
00:39:14
done
00:39:15
>> No, let's do Let's do this. Let's do
00:39:16
this.
00:39:17
>> All right. It is time, folks. You knew
00:39:20
it was coming. Buzzing Around. Sponsored
00:39:23
by Five Hour Energy with a wide variety
00:39:24
of bold flavors to choose from. While
00:39:26
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sugar crush. Find five energy shots
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online at 5our energy.com or
00:39:40
>> it's not a comedy piece. What are you
00:39:42
laughing?
00:39:42
>> No. It's funny cuz I hear you going.
00:39:44
You're stretching out.
00:39:45
>> Well, you're right.
00:39:47
>> I like it.
00:39:48
>> Okay. Um, what's the scenario? Uh, we
00:39:52
have uh uh Mike Tyson,
00:39:55
G, Prince Harry, and Duchess Markle. So,
00:40:00
it's actually I'm going to do today the
00:40:02
Mike Tyson show.
00:40:04
>> Yeah,
00:40:04
>> the Mike Tyson show. And G is the
00:40:06
sidekick and the guest. Okay. And
00:40:09
there's nothing beyond that. I don't
00:40:10
know what they're going to say.
00:40:11
>> No, no one thinks you prepare this,
00:40:13
believe me.
00:40:13
>> Hey everybody, this is Glorgar
00:40:16
and I'm I'm Mike Tyson's sidekick. With
00:40:20
no further ado, please welcome Mike
00:40:22
Tyson.
00:40:24
>> Oh, wait a minute.
00:40:24
>> No,
00:40:25
>> I pressed the wrong [ __ ] button.
00:40:27
>> I know.
00:40:28
>> I can't see you. Hold on.
00:40:29
>> Botched.
00:40:32
>> Botched bit.
00:40:32
>> Please welcome Mike Dyson.
00:40:35
>> Anyway, okay.
00:40:37
>> Yeah, this is Thanks, God. Thank for
00:40:39
that introduction, you know. Hey, no
00:40:41
problem, Mike. Please don't punch me.
00:40:43
>> Sounds good already.
00:40:44
>> I would never touch you. I would never
00:40:46
do that for you because I I like doing
00:40:48
the Mike Tyson show. Here's a joke for
00:40:50
you. Why did the uh boxing glove cross
00:40:53
the road?
00:40:54
>> Oh, why?
00:40:55
>> Because they can't cross the road. They
00:40:57
got no legs.
00:40:59
>> What are you going to do about it?
00:41:01
>> Hey, I don't get it. I don't get it,
00:41:04
Mike. And what are you going to do about
00:41:06
it?
00:41:06
>> Yeah, exactly. There you go. He sets you
00:41:08
up with a joke and then he says, "What
00:41:10
are you going to do about it?"
00:41:13
Sorry, Mike, but I just didn't get it.
00:41:15
Yeah, you didn't get it. But what are
00:41:16
you going to do about it? What are you
00:41:17
going to do about it? Maybe try to write
00:41:19
a better joke. Why does the boxing glove
00:41:21
cross the road in the first place?
00:41:24
Because it it it needs a hand.
00:41:27
Yeah, I didn't get it. What are you
00:41:29
going to do about it?
00:41:30
>> Oh my god. Guard.
00:41:32
>> Hey, wait a minute. You're threatening
00:41:33
me by saying, "What are you going to do
00:41:34
about it?" I mean, I I'm the guy who
00:41:36
says, "What are you going to do about
00:41:37
it?" Hey, this is crazy. Let Let's get
00:41:39
our guest out here. Please welcome
00:41:41
Prince Harry.
00:41:43
>> Prince Harry.
00:41:44
>> Prince Harry and Duchess Marle.
00:41:47
>> Okay.
00:41:50
>> Oh, hey. Hey, thanks for coming on this
00:41:53
show. I'm a big fan of you guys cuz you
00:41:55
like lived in a castle at some point,
00:41:57
right?
00:41:59
>> That's why.
00:42:00
>> Yes.
00:42:01
>> That's exciting to Mike.
00:42:03
>> Yes. This is Prince Harry and I'm so
00:42:05
excited to meet you, Marco, because you
00:42:08
got fisty cuffs. your fisty cuffs. Put
00:42:11
them Put your dukes up. Is that what you
00:42:12
do?
00:42:13
>> Yeah. Yeah, I do. I I I don't say it
00:42:15
like that. That's that old timey thing,
00:42:17
you know. I like when you say put up the
00:42:20
fisty cuffs. Well, I'm not going to say
00:42:22
that, you know. I'm never going to say
00:42:23
that. All right. So, uh, all I could say
00:42:25
is what are you going to do about it?
00:42:29
Hey, well, wait a minute. This is
00:42:32
Duchess Marco.
00:42:33
>> Yeah, I was waiting for her.
00:42:34
>> This is my real speaking voice. I have
00:42:36
to put something on for the silly
00:42:38
cooking shows and all the podcast. Yes,
00:42:41
let's do another putty cast. Mommy
00:42:45
Harry,
00:42:47
you try my patience. Let mommy talk to
00:42:50
Mr. Dyson.
00:42:52
But I like to do puty cast. We did a
00:42:56
putty cast. We no longer have a putty
00:42:59
cast. We're getting into a little Bella
00:43:01
Losce as a side note, but go ahead
00:43:04
into Boris Carlo.
00:43:06
>> Yeah, that's it. All right, enough of
00:43:08
you guys talking amongst yourselves. I'm
00:43:10
the host. I got questions.
00:43:12
>> Oh,
00:43:12
>> so what what what kind of things you
00:43:17
think you're going to do pretty soon?
00:43:18
And what are you going to do
00:43:19
>> pretty soon? Oh, we're going to tour the
00:43:22
world. Yes, we're going to tour the
00:43:25
world. Harry and I are going to tour the
00:43:27
world. We're going to we're going to
00:43:29
defeat global poverty.
00:43:32
Yeah. Okay. That sounds very nice.
00:43:34
That's a good idea. You know how you
00:43:36
going to defeat it? Where are you going
00:43:38
to defeat it? Yes, mommy. How are we
00:43:40
going to defeat it? We're going to give
00:43:42
speeches all over the world and we're
00:43:45
going to defeat global poverty. I don't
00:43:48
think you're going to defeat global
00:43:50
poverty doing that. I think you got to
00:43:52
do something more, right? You know, I
00:43:54
mean, what are you going to do about it?
00:43:57
What do you mean? What we What are you
00:43:58
going to do about it? I'm just telling
00:44:00
you
00:44:02
>> about global poverty.
00:44:03
>> Global poverty, I think, is something
00:44:05
like that. Anyway, let me get let him
00:44:07
with a joke. Why' the boxing glove
00:44:09
bounce across the trampoline?
00:44:13
>> Why?
00:44:13
>> Cuz it makes things bounce.
00:44:16
>> Oh, yeah. That's a that's, you know,
00:44:18
more of a fact.
00:44:19
>> This one's mandering off into
00:44:22
>> Yeah, it is. This has been buzzing. For
00:44:24
anyone who didn't like this thing, you
00:44:27
know what are you going to do about it?
00:44:28
>> There you go.
00:44:29
>> Stay tuned for more Mike Tyson next
00:44:31
week.
00:44:32
>> Bow at the end. That was buzzing around
00:44:34
sponsored by five energy's tasty
00:44:36
caffeine flavors. Give yourself some
00:44:38
applause. Enjoy big flavor in a tiny
00:44:40
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00:44:42
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00:44:44
shots. So find five energy shots online
00:44:47
at five energy.com or Amazon today.
00:44:54
Okay, story one. Let's get to the news
00:44:57
and then we'll
00:44:58
>> Story one.
00:44:58
>> We always blab so long.
00:45:00
>> I know. We went off on too many
00:45:02
tangents.
00:45:03
>> We were good though. I liked it. Um,
00:45:04
okay. What's this?
00:45:05
>> New challenger. Are you ready? I don't
00:45:08
care. Go. Watch this.
00:45:12
>> Oh.
00:45:13
>> Whoa. So,
00:45:15
>> are you okay back there?
00:45:16
>> Are there w
00:45:18
Stop it for one second. You're just
00:45:20
kneeling. I don't even know if I can do
00:45:22
that.
00:45:22
>> Kneeling and shuffling.
00:45:24
>> You're walking as you're crouched down.
00:45:27
That actually I bet that's super hard.
00:45:29
Heather, what do you think?
00:45:31
>> It looks hard, right? You could probably
00:45:33
do it.
00:45:33
>> Well, what exploded?
00:45:35
>> She does ballet. No, because the guy
00:45:37
fell. But I think this person that looks
00:45:40
like the woman in the Incredibles with
00:45:44
the hair is saying, "Race me." and
00:45:48
people race them and then they lose.
00:45:52
>> But I just think is that that hard to
00:45:54
do? I think it is.
00:45:57
>> I think it is.
00:45:59
>> I thought they had some kind of little
00:46:01
wheels on or something. I could
00:46:02
>> do it one more time. Let me see.
00:46:05
>> Thought they had
00:46:07
>> Right. It's just I think shuffling the
00:46:09
feet which is made me think in a really
00:46:12
deep squat. Okay.
00:46:13
>> Yeah. That's hard, right?
00:46:14
>> Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Where are you
00:46:16
guys? I mean,
00:46:18
>> oh no, she's riding on something.
00:46:20
>> Excuse us.
00:46:21
>> Is it a little She's She I thought they
00:46:24
they don't have it. She's got something
00:46:27
>> like a little a little
00:46:30
>> She's on a little trolley. And there's a
00:46:34
Yeah. So that
00:46:37
>> Okay.
00:46:37
>> Yeah. She's got a little wheel thing.
00:46:39
That's a dress covers it. Okay. Mystery
00:46:41
solved.
00:46:43
Well,
00:46:43
>> at least you didn't say AI.
00:46:46
>> Well, geez, Scoob. We couldn't see the
00:46:48
wheels. It scared me, Scoob.
00:46:50
>> Well, I have to say if it is a little
00:46:52
bike, it's still hard to do.
00:46:54
>> No, no, it's still still a good effect.
00:46:56
>> Still forget it. I can't. Okay, next. We
00:47:00
really hit the big stories.
00:47:01
>> I know. Look at this one.
00:47:04
>> 9.3 million worth of cocaine found in
00:47:08
Kim Kardashian's ski shipment.
00:47:11
I don't think so.
00:47:13
>> Looking good for Kim and them. They got
00:47:16
Kim Kardashian out here looking like a
00:47:18
drug king. So over 9 million worth of
00:47:20
cocaine was reportedly found inside a
00:47:23
shipment connected to Kim Kardashian
00:47:25
Skim brand. You heard what I just said?
00:47:27
According to reports, authorities
00:47:29
stopped a transport truck carrying
00:47:32
SKIM's clothing from the Netherlands to
00:47:34
England with almost 200 lb of cocaine.
00:47:38
Authority said that he was driving a
00:47:40
truck carrying 28 pound
00:47:43
and according to the National Crime
00:47:44
Agency,
00:47:46
>> he picked up 198 pounds of cocaine
00:47:49
during that trip. And the truck was
00:47:51
modified to hide that yoyo. Now, imagine
00:47:53
how crazy that sounds.
00:47:54
>> Okay, hold on.
00:47:56
>> I need a little thing called evidence of
00:47:59
some kind.
00:48:00
>> A guy's pointing his finger at
00:48:02
something. That's evidence.
00:48:05
>> Well, I guess. And the reason I know
00:48:07
this cuz I'm I'm I'm I'm hustling the
00:48:10
cocaine.
00:48:10
>> I like how the people make themselves
00:48:12
more important in the story so they get
00:48:13
really big in the frame like here's a
00:48:16
story behind me. They should be really
00:48:17
teensy like here's all
00:48:20
>> but you know what
00:48:22
it's probably one of those things where
00:48:24
they used one of their trucks but they
00:48:26
don't know about it. I'm sure she
00:48:27
doesn't know about it.
00:48:29
Uh,
00:48:30
>> if it's true, Dana,
00:48:32
>> I don't think the Kardashians don't
00:48:34
play. These these people are
00:48:36
>> they don't they don't need money for
00:48:38
>> Well, they're they would have their
00:48:40
shipping stuff completely,
00:48:42
you know, perfectly organized. There
00:48:44
wouldn't be any criminal activity. It's
00:48:46
it's a multi-billion dollar company
00:48:49
where they be show the big bottoms.
00:48:53
Yeah,
00:48:55
if anyone got on there and did it, it's
00:48:56
just something on the side that you
00:48:58
don't know about.
00:48:59
>> Can I just ask you a question from just
00:49:01
just business?
00:49:04
>> So, we there was spandex, right,
00:49:06
Heather? Spandex holds everything in
00:49:08
men, women, whatever.
00:49:10
>> Nylons.
00:49:10
>> So, was it the genius move to go, "Hey,
00:49:13
wait a minute. Um, Mom Kim,
00:49:16
uh, why don't we do spandex, but let's
00:49:20
just call it skims." Well, how about
00:49:22
there was Spanx?
00:49:23
>> Ripped off Spanx.
00:49:24
>> Yeah, Spanx. Do they own that, too?
00:49:27
>> No, they ripped them off.
00:49:29
>> They ripped them off. And it ripped off
00:49:30
wet suits.
00:49:32
>> What's that?
00:49:32
>> And then hiked up the prices.
00:49:34
>> Yeah, just give me a wet suit. Cut the
00:49:36
top part off and charge triple.
00:49:39
>> I know. I say, yeah. What? I
00:49:42
>> I think you have an audience that's
00:49:44
going to do whatever you want.
00:49:46
>> Yeah.
00:49:46
>> You can fudge it a bit and just get away
00:49:48
with a little more. Now, if you're just
00:49:50
starting Spanx out of the blue,
00:49:53
it has to be a really good idea. This is
00:49:55
sort of if not a ripoff, just kind of
00:49:57
running with the theme of tightening
00:49:59
everything up.
00:50:00
>> Well, I was going to I was going to
00:50:01
mention this, but I wasn't going to
00:50:03
mention, but I guess I'll mention it. Um
00:50:06
>> that I thought for men, we do it. It's
00:50:08
from from Spade Carvey, and uh it's
00:50:12
called Spanx a Lot and it's just spank
00:50:17
>> Spanx a Lot, dude. Spanks a lot and it's
00:50:20
just very festive underwear.
00:50:23
>> But it holds your butt in and your fat.
00:50:25
>> Yeah. And tramps down your weird.
00:50:28
>> I think guys wear this stuff and they
00:50:29
don't say it.
00:50:31
>> Oh, you mean sort of a girdle.
00:50:34
We do.
00:50:35
>> I mean I your boobs.
00:50:37
>> I wish I could trick everyone and hide
00:50:39
all the flaws and afterwards I go,
00:50:41
"Sorry, Charlie. This is what you got.
00:50:44
>> We can't show our nipples." Well, they
00:50:47
have built-in nipples.
00:50:49
>> True.
00:50:50
>> True. What a great
00:50:52
>> She sells these sweaters with built-in
00:50:54
nips or bras or something. Or barbells.
00:50:57
Have you seen those?
00:51:00
>> They put the barbells through the nips.
00:51:02
Oh boy.
00:51:04
>> How about washboard short TE's? So you
00:51:06
get t-shirts for dudes, young dudes who
00:51:08
have washboard stomachs and they're kind
00:51:10
of shorts. They go, "What time is it?"
00:51:12
>> Yeah. I I had some half shirts. No lie.
00:51:14
I got
00:51:15
>> so that you can show off 12 12pack.
00:51:18
>> All right, move along. Next story.
00:51:19
>> Hey, I want to bring a sense memory.
00:51:21
Yeah, what are you going to do about it?
00:51:23
>> Did you write that? That's funny.
00:51:25
>> No, I just I just put ideas on there. I
00:51:29
just uh enjoy it. Okay, here we are.
00:51:31
This one is really interesting.
00:51:33
>> What is this?
00:51:34
>> Can you read it?
00:51:35
>> Renting a Japanese husband for a night
00:51:38
out.
00:51:38
>> This reminds me of really
00:51:40
>> Brendan Frasier's last movie.
00:51:44
Right. That's right.
00:51:46
>> This guy's a stud. I have to say
00:51:48
>> that is what Brendan Frasier's movie
00:51:50
was.
00:51:51
>> Oh, he dropped.
00:51:52
>> He was so good looking. He broke the the
00:51:55
frame.
00:51:56
>> Let's kichiwa means
00:52:02
which means
00:52:05
at a mummy.
00:52:08
Oh,
00:52:09
>> okay.
00:52:13
So she's embarrassed to go to a wedding
00:52:15
without a husband.
00:52:17
>> Yeah.
00:52:19
>> And
00:52:21
picks her up. No less. I wouldn't be
00:52:23
doing that.
00:52:27
>> Best.
00:52:28
This is a good idea.
00:52:29
>> Maybe this is more honest. Maybe this
00:52:31
what life should be.
00:52:33
>> This might be happening out there. You
00:52:34
know, it's like bring your friend or
00:52:36
like, "Hey, just come with me." But this
00:52:39
guy looks looks sharp and then super.
00:52:42
You guarantee he's nice to you. You're
00:52:43
not going to get drunk and get in a
00:52:44
fight. Behaves.
00:52:48
Just slide him a couple.
00:52:49
>> I mean, I'm sure he's very charming and
00:52:51
they probably because there's no
00:52:53
pressure. They probably have a really
00:52:54
good time. And then they're back at the
00:52:56
hotel in Tokyo and they're having a
00:52:58
glass of champagne in their hotel suite
00:53:00
and guess what happens?
00:53:01
>> Yeah, that was in Irvine.
00:53:04
>> Why would you think Tokyo?
00:53:07
Well, well, weren't they from Japan?
00:53:09
Sorry, it was in Irvine.
00:53:10
>> I'm kidding. I'm kidding. He got to the
00:53:12
door and I know what's about to happen.
00:53:16
>> So, they're offering champagne.
00:53:19
Fake husband. Thank you.
00:53:23
>> There's not an earthquake at the
00:53:24
wedding.
00:53:26
>> No, this is afterwards in the hotel.
00:53:33
Leave it A
00:53:37
>> just a little
00:53:38
>> earthquake or something else.
00:53:42
>> That was and I both like whoa.
00:53:43
>> That was an appertif.
00:53:46
>> All right, come on. We're
00:53:47
>> the chin chain.
00:53:48
>> We got to wrap it up.
00:53:50
>> Oh, yeah.
00:53:50
>> I don't know.
00:53:52
>> We watched one of your old bits on SNL.
00:53:54
>> Where did you find it?
00:53:57
>> On the dark web.
00:53:58
>> You can't find Ching Change anywhere.
00:54:01
>> We found it. You found it. Which one was
00:54:04
it?
00:54:04
>> So hilarious. Nora Dunn and Oh,
00:54:08
beautiful.
00:54:09
>> Who comes over? Valerie Bernelli.
00:54:12
>> Yes.
00:54:12
>> And you That's right. She's using her
00:54:15
phone
00:54:15
>> and he's kind of an awkward character.
00:54:17
So she's leaving and she she goes after
00:54:20
a while, crocodile. And then my
00:54:22
character goes, "Bye bye, doggy."
00:54:25
>> Donkey.
00:54:26
>> Donkey.
00:54:27
>> And she goes, "Uh,
00:54:30
all right. Let's have Valerie Burtonelli
00:54:32
on.
00:54:33
>> I'm always saying the wrong thing.
00:54:36
>> Uh, okay. Next one.
00:54:39
>> She She was not on. That was before I
00:54:41
got there.
00:54:42
>> Um, okay.
00:54:44
>> A forum post details private charter
00:54:46
company.
00:54:48
>> Oh, this is we heard before. I want to
00:54:50
find out if this is true. Tell me in the
00:54:52
comments. Everyone's loves to yell at
00:54:54
me.
00:54:55
>> This form post and I'm going to put it
00:54:56
directly on the screen and I'm going to
00:54:57
read it for it. says this quote, "I work
00:55:01
for a private charter company in
00:55:02
Ontario, Canada. The company handles
00:55:04
booking and chartering flights across
00:55:06
Ontario Canada."
00:55:08
>> We are paid to spread ticks by air. It
00:55:10
happens twice a year, early spring and
00:55:12
early fall. This year, we've been hired
00:55:15
to do it earlier. The company receives
00:55:17
the ticks in boxes. Each box contains
00:55:20
millions of ticks. The aircraft used are
00:55:22
generally single or dual prop aircraft,
00:55:25
single pilot and one other pass.
00:55:29
>> It pays a lot and I mean a lot the ticks
00:55:33
are dispersed in several specific
00:55:35
regions in Ontario and it's always the
00:55:38
same regions each and every
00:55:40
>> thus far. Last spring the ticks
00:55:42
dispersed were mostly American dog. this
00:55:45
year they are all deer ticks supposedly
00:55:48
specifically built to withstand cold
00:55:50
temperatures. End quote.
00:55:52
>> So that post was from March 16th, 2
00:55:54
weeks before Snope said that this story
00:55:56
originated. All right. And it's pretty
00:55:58
interesting. Here we have a
00:55:59
whistleblower saying that they are paid
00:56:01
to disperse ticks across
00:56:03
>> why why?
00:56:04
>> Now why?
00:56:06
>> This sounds eerily familiar to what
00:56:07
we're hearing about these boxes of ticks
00:56:09
that are being found. And it begs the
00:56:11
question, was this person telling the
00:56:14
truth? So this form
00:56:16
>> stop this was there's another one about
00:56:19
in the war they would drop ticks to
00:56:21
spread disease.
00:56:24
>> So Canada's declaring war on Ontario.
00:56:28
>> Oh, wait a second.
00:56:30
Go ahead. Okay. Here's a
00:56:32
>> tix as boweapons.
00:56:35
>> That's more clear. That's a clear.
00:56:36
>> Yes. It's actually uh in CIA then it
00:56:39
makes sense.
00:56:41
For instance, uh infected ticks were
00:56:43
ployed
00:56:44
>> uh from C130s flying low over sugarcane
00:56:48
fields in Cuba back in the day under
00:56:51
President Kennedy. Uh there is abundant
00:56:54
evidence of the testing field testing
00:56:58
>> of uh infected ticks and other uh
00:57:02
insects
00:57:03
>> in in a variety of settings uh in in uh
00:57:08
states and elsewhere. Clearly Sam was
00:57:11
involved.
00:57:12
>> No one thinks twice. It's basically
00:57:14
>> any more information.
00:57:15
>> The idea is because there's
00:57:18
>> what is it when you get tick? Lyme
00:57:19
disease.
00:57:19
>> Lyme disease. Yeah.
00:57:21
>> And there's a new one. pretty incurable
00:57:23
>> that's something incurable like what's
00:57:25
worse a little bit so if you want to and
00:57:27
also they're coming up with a vaccine
00:57:30
for this
00:57:32
>> I don't know if this is true and it
00:57:33
sounds made up but that sounds kind of
00:57:35
made up but apparently if you go on your
00:57:38
phone you go on Tik Tok they are able to
00:57:41
geoengineer
00:57:42
ticks to come through your phone
00:57:44
microscopic ticks
00:57:45
>> on Tik Tok
00:57:46
>> on tick tick tock I mean the when they
00:57:50
invented they go isn't it why aren't we
00:57:51
giving away our secret plan to destroy
00:57:53
the world with the name Tik Tok. No,
00:57:55
it's so obvious and you wanted it. You
00:57:58
once you download it, you're asking for
00:57:59
ticks.
00:58:00
>> Yeah. And you can never leave it. And it
00:58:02
gives you spontaneous
00:58:04
>> I had ticks in my head. Dana,
00:58:07
>> when I slept with my um careful when I
00:58:12
>> It gives you facial German Shepherd
00:58:14
Princess
00:58:16
>> slept Dana. Not the way you think of it.
00:58:18
>> Slept on your face.
00:58:19
>> She was having puppies out back. So Judy
00:58:22
let me sleep in the doghouse
00:58:25
and she had 13 [ __ ] puppies and it
00:58:28
was so joyous. I had maybe 25 ticks in
00:58:30
my hair.
00:58:32
I'm not even joking. Was like this.
00:58:33
Brian goes, "I'll get them with pliers."
00:58:36
It was We had to
00:58:37
>> Well, that explains it.
00:58:39
>> And they were all full to the brim with
00:58:41
juicy os.
00:58:43
>> But you never got Lyme disease.
00:58:47
>> Interesting.
00:58:48
>> I'm just weak and feeble. I don't know.
00:58:50
No, we didn't have it back then. I don't
00:58:52
know if those are the Kennedy box ticks.
00:58:55
>> I I grab one. I go, "Are you a box
00:58:57
tick?" I shook them.
00:58:58
>> They drop them and then people need to
00:59:00
be treated. Is it a way to make money
00:59:02
off of them?
00:59:02
>> Yeah. And then they then they have a
00:59:04
vaccine to help you with it.
00:59:05
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:59:06
>> It's always a vaccine. They already said
00:59:08
Bill Gates has a vaccine for they're
00:59:11
working on for this strain of Ebola,
00:59:14
the new strain that has 68 deaths.
00:59:18
>> Sorry, it just hit my brain. And you
00:59:19
said tick box. Is that where the phrase
00:59:21
ticks all the boxes come from? No pun
00:59:24
intended.
00:59:24
>> I don't think so.
00:59:28
>> I know it's early for your birthday, but
00:59:29
I got you a box of ticks I'm going to
00:59:31
throw on your farm.
00:59:34
>> You know what's really adorable is when
00:59:35
I get up and I go down and I'm having a
00:59:37
cup of coffee in the morning and the
00:59:39
horses like they see people moving
00:59:42
around and you look over and they just
00:59:45
are waiting for breakfast. So, they're
00:59:46
just two beautiful horses and they're
00:59:48
just like
00:59:50
and they don't they don't move. They're
00:59:52
just like staring at me like
00:59:54
>> they're like here's the [ __ ] supposed
00:59:55
to give me some carrots
00:59:56
>> with not moving. Oh, we give them
00:59:58
special treats. Carrots and apples and
01:00:01
>> once you're take care of animals like
01:00:03
you should treat ticks that way and be
01:00:05
nice to them.
01:00:07
>> Animals have no higher consciousness.
01:00:09
Like I've said before, they they remind
01:00:11
you to just chill. Don't try to take
01:00:13
life too seriously.
01:00:14
>> Yeah, I like they just do their thing.
01:00:15
just just leave them alone. That's what
01:00:17
they want. They're like,
01:00:17
>> they just want to be fed some water and
01:00:19
they, "Hey, let's go over there. Let's
01:00:20
go over there." What? You know, and
01:00:22
sometimes they throw a party. They start
01:00:23
jumping around
01:00:24
>> and horses go, "If you get time, can you
01:00:26
throw a saddle on me and kick me a few
01:00:28
times and put your full body weight on
01:00:30
me?
01:00:30
>> Put some big heavy steel thing in my
01:00:32
mouth first and yank on it."
01:00:34
>> Yeah, I love horses. All right, I think
01:00:36
that's it, D. It's
01:00:38
>> I think Yeah, we're right up against it.
01:00:39
We're right They said it couldn't be
01:00:41
done and they had a point. Next week,
01:00:43
we'll get to the stories sooner, but we
01:00:44
had a lot to talk about. Uh, okay. By
01:00:46
the way, I go off to I don't know when I
01:00:48
go to grown-ups, but we will um we'll
01:00:50
work around that.
01:00:52
>> Uh, yeah, we'll have to figure out that.
01:00:55
>> All right, Dana, stay on when I jump
01:00:57
off.
01:00:58
>> Yeah, don't uh we're going to read some
01:01:00
ads and do some intros.
01:01:02
>> Yep.
01:01:03
>> All right, guys. Thanks for watching.
01:01:04
>> Thanks for watching once again and see
01:01:06
you next week with new characters.
01:01:09
>> That's me going underwater to end the
01:01:11
show. Here's me going in water.
01:01:15
You just blow the wa. You blow the air
01:01:18
out through your nose. You don't have to
01:01:19
do one of these things.
01:01:20
>> No, you're smart.
01:01:25
>> Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast,
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which you are, be sure to click follow
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01:01:39
We're on video now. Fly on the Wall is
01:01:42
presented by Odyssey, an executive
01:01:44
produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade,
01:01:46
Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman,
01:01:48
Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese
01:01:51
Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer
01:01:53
is Greg Holtzman, and the show is
01:01:54
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01:01:58
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01:02:00
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01:02:03
Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa Wester,
01:02:07
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01:02:10
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01:02:13
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01:02:16
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