00:00:00
So, I do my set crush kill other people's words. Levitate the room. >> I heard it. I saw it. It trended. Bill
00:00:06
Bill Burr texted me. >> Look at me. Well, the thing about me that's interesting.
00:00:11
>> Looks cool. >> Well, the thing about me that's neat. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Hi.
00:00:16
Did you guys see my Espire interview yet? [laughter] >> Guess what? And by the way, it's the
00:00:22
fact of the matter. Don't you know you got to go? No joke. >> I've been to Magic Mountain. Let me tell
00:00:28
you something. off the record, >> not so much. >> More mountain than magic, and it's not.
00:00:35
>> All right, before we get started on this very special episode, seriously, we do
00:00:40
have some breaking news on a gentleman who >> who claims to know where Jeffrey Epstein
00:00:48
is um at this time. Um and uh it's kind of shocking and we're going to get to it in a second. That
00:00:58
sounds pretty serious. >> We're going to get to our guests. Our guests will be here in just a few
00:01:02
minutes. >> Okay, let's talk about our weekend first. [laughter] >> Okay, that's more important. But it's
00:01:08
coming up and it's coming up. Stick around. >> You'll be happy when you stick around.
00:01:12
You're not going to You're not going to see this coming. >> No. >> Yeah. So, Dana, um
00:01:18
>> Yeah. >> What? >> Selfie. >> A selfie [clears throat] of yourself.
00:01:22
>> No, of you. I took your side. >> Oh, your hair looks pretty cool today.
00:01:25
Well, I was trying to I want people ask me about my hair a lot, you know. >> What's your hair story? What's your
00:01:32
>> My hair story is that Well, two things. One is there's a lot of noise in my
00:01:37
brain. I mean, you're kind of quiet in there, right? You're not you're not
00:01:40
neurotic like I am. >> Uh or you are. I'm not sure. But, um so I want my hair to represent if it's
00:01:48
super combed, it feels like it doesn't represent what's going on inside my bra.
00:01:52
>> Oh, I get it. Yeah, I agree with you. I like people that have their hair a
00:01:55
little messy. >> Plus, when I was 10 years old, I'd see the Beatles during the hard days, night,
00:02:00
or whatever, and they always had deconstructed hair. They never had severe parts. And look at my hair. So,
00:02:06
those are the two things I got. >> Sometimes they had those bangs at the beginning that were pretty
00:02:11
>> That was kind of revolutionary in a way to to do the bold cut, the bangs
00:02:15
forward. I know. It's so weird, right? >> I know. But now I do it all the time.
00:02:20
[laughter] >> You've got your look down. No, I like my hair today because we did it yesterday.
00:02:25
I did a uh interview for uh Esquire. I don't When is that coming out, Heather?
00:02:30
I don't know. >> I don't learn most of it here. >> Are you making making a move? I mean, I
00:02:37
hear >> Am I making money moves? >> Well, are you just making a move? Are in
00:02:41
the latter of show business? Are you making moves? Are you shaking the tree? I mean, what's this Esquire magazine
00:02:46
profile? >> It was actually good. This is the editor of Esquire. He sat down. He knew he read
00:02:51
my book. He saw the last special and he's like, >> "Let's get into it." But it got a little
00:02:55
deeper than normal. >> Well, what would be the by line? What's going to be the thing? David, you know,
00:03:01
what is it going to be? You think? >> I mean, we I'm sort of an open book
00:03:07
anyway. We know all my dumb stories. So, uh, he did dig into the dad a little bit.
00:03:13
>> What I've learned. >> Oh, the whole thing is called What I've
00:03:16
Learned. So, I don't know. I didn't know that ahead of time because I didn't tell
00:03:18
anything. >> Oh, that's kind of Yeah. Yeah. A little more profound or something.
00:03:23
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> He did ask me what would I have >> tell your younger
00:03:28
>> what's the first line of my obituary? I don't like death stuff like that, but I
00:03:34
>> uh Well, MV Griffins was the greatest. The talk show host from the 70s.
00:03:39
>> I won't be right back. That's on his tombstone. I know that >> because he always says we'll be right
00:03:45
back. >> Exactly. [laughter] >> Yeah. He asked me what I would tell my
00:03:50
twerpy self. >> Oh, go back in time. >> Sounds kind of interesting. Did they
00:03:57
record you and then they're going to print what you said or is it going to be
00:04:00
interpreted? >> No, it was a live interview with And it was in black and white even though I
00:04:04
wore a sweater that really popped. >> That's kind of hip. >> Yeah.
00:04:09
>> And so I Oh, yeah. What's Oh, I guess you'll have to see what my big line was.
00:04:14
I had to make up for my >> Well, have you got a banger? as I call him, or a trender. Or is it going to be
00:04:21
noisy? Is it Are we going to see some Daily Mail? I [laughter] mean, >> that was Bert Reynolds thing. The worst
00:04:28
sin in show business is to be boring. >> No matter what. >> I think we didn't get that memo. Did we
00:04:35
>> falling into that? Yeah. Uh, [laughter] well, it's also you see these people
00:04:39
that want to be famous and they get on like a reality show and they'll do anything and then they regret it for the
00:04:44
next 20 years. It just follows you and they don't realize at the time. Don't be
00:04:49
saying everything on your mind at all times. Don't be filming it. Don't be
00:04:55
>> keep a little mystery about yourself. >> Yes. It's good to have a little Not
00:04:58
everyone needs to know every god dang thing about you. >> God dang it. Yeah. Dab nab it. I
00:05:04
>> I hate to sound I hate to use those words. >> Your heart hate to sound like a a TV
00:05:09
cowboy from 1958. >> Dang it. Come on now, Duke. Dagnabbit is a good one. >> Dagnabbit. Yeah, that's uh Bugs Bunny,
00:05:20
>> I think. >> Oh, you can send Oh, send a picture. Maybe Heather will send Greg a picture.
00:05:24
We'll put it up of the interview, >> even though it's not that exciting. But
00:05:28
anyway, the guy was super cool. I liked him. And um >> I will tell you about I wiped out last
00:05:32
night at the comedy store. >> These count as stories that are unremarkable, but I have my neck issues.
00:05:39
I'm feeling good. I'm heading on the road today. So, I do my set crush kill
00:05:44
other people's words. Levitate the room. >> I heard it. I saw it. It trended. Bill
00:05:49
Bill Burr texted me. Oh, dude. I was walking out and Bill Burr was walking in. >> Oh, really? [clears throat]
00:05:55
>> The thing about pickles. [laughter] >> You know what drives me absolutely nuts?
00:06:02
Microphones. What do you need a [ __ ] microphone? Get a megaphone. Just talk. >> Talk loud. How about that?
00:06:09
>> [laughter] >> We're such [ __ ] We need a microphone. There's [ __ ] 30 people
00:06:14
here. What do you need? >> You know what drives me out of my [ __ ] mind? Or doves. What's the
00:06:19
[ __ ] >> What? You know what? I don't like how they [ __ ] spell it. You got
00:06:23
apostrophe in there and some [ __ ] >> Oh. Oh, no. >> Oh, stop the riff is here. Okay.
00:06:30
>> Look at me. Well, the thing about me that's interesting >> looks cool. Well, the thing about me
00:06:35
that's neat. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. >> Well, the fact it's black and white now.
00:06:40
Did they buy you the clothes or were those your own clothes that happened to be >> my clothes? It looks like a t- neck. It
00:06:46
is not. >> Oh, it's not a mock t- neck, obviously. But is it What's the real color of that
00:06:53
sweater? >> Blue, of course. >> Oh, >> most of my shit's blue. Well, you look
00:06:58
it makes you look kind of uh like uh classic like sort of iconic. I think it's very
00:07:05
>> Clooney. They say a lot of a lot of people are saying it. >> Many people are saying they're talking
00:07:11
about Clooney. George Clooney. George Clooney. He's a very He's not very good
00:07:16
actor. You know, you know how your trumpet took off. [laughter] >> I know. I like doing Bill Burr is funny
00:07:21
because it's so funny. He was on the set. We had a lot of people there last night. Bobby Lee was there acting nuts.
00:07:27
Bobby Lee is very likable and fun to hang out with. >> Oh, yeah. He's uh human. He's a Xanax in
00:07:34
human form. I mean, you're going to get very happy and relaxed, I guess. So, I
00:07:38
don't take that. >> It was such a disheveled night when I got off. So, Annie Letterman is there.
00:07:43
She goes, "You either bring up me or Bobby Lee." And I'm like, "I don't like
00:07:45
this because then I got to finish and and I got to be the MC." And go, "All
00:07:48
right, your next deck. Fine." >> You don't know. >> And I don't know. So, I go, "All right."
00:07:53
Then I'm finished. instead of like I gave him my big razledazzle ending [laughter]
00:07:58
and then I go, "All right." And then I go, "Wait, who's next?" And then I go,
00:08:02
"Who am I bringing up? Stick your head out of the curtain so I could see. No
00:08:05
one's there." >> All right. One of those show. Is the show going to keep going or no? And no
00:08:10
one's there. I go, "This show is such a disaster." So then I go encore. So I
00:08:16
walk back and do more. And then Oh, yeah. Then I hear Bobby go, "All right,
00:08:20
it's me. I'm here now." And I go, "So >> I've got to get out of here. What are
00:08:23
you talking about? An encore? I couldn't. >> I know. I made my own encore.
00:08:27
>> Oh my goodness. [clears throat] Why are we standing? Please. >> I know. It wasn't really an encore, but
00:08:31
I had to keep going. So then I went to leave and I walked around and I have to cut through the side of the crowd and
00:08:39
this pudgy fat guy had his table stuck out. >> Isn't that redundant? There's a type of
00:08:43
fat guy. [laughter] Okay. >> This sort of overweight fat guy. >> Yeah, I got you.
00:08:48
>> And so I'm walking straight down to the exit. It's along the edge, but you don't
00:08:52
want to steal from the show, you know. So, I go down and his he's like this and
00:08:57
he's got his table, these little square tables, and it's pitch black. You know,
00:09:01
the comedy store, black tables, black room. You can't see. >> Oh, I know. It's weird.
00:09:05
>> And I'm hustling through and I [snorts] crack in full sprint my knee into a
00:09:11
table. >> And that was the biggest pain. It spun me around and snapped my neck
00:09:15
>> and everyone goes, "Whoa!" Like, it was so painful. >> Oh, was that hard? And I was audience,
00:09:21
"Oh my god, my neck." And then I was like, >> couldn't care less about my legs because
00:09:25
they're tough as [ __ ] But the neck was like, "Oh, fragile glass. [laughter]
00:09:31
>> I'd like to see you hit." And then do a full 360 on the comedy store floor.
00:09:37
>> And then the guy was like, "Hey [laughter] buddy, >> what are you laughing at? You caused
00:09:41
this accident." >> Yeah. Yeah, I went >> I don't know if pe folks at home know
00:09:47
that uh you know I mean you say it's kind of a an effeminite sport me have microphone to say funny things but you
00:09:55
can get wounded you can really I had a brain scan once after falling off the stage at the laboratory the little
00:10:03
improv room >> the lab at the improv >> well because it was a one- foot thing
00:10:07
and they had a piano over there and it's pitch black >> and so I went down and there
00:10:12
hard surfaces. So, I was in a killing cage. I was doing the church like, "Well, isn't that special?" And then I
00:10:18
was in a killing cage. [laughter] So, I I went outside into the driveway, whatever, out there. And the guy came
00:10:25
out and I go, "Am I okay?" Like, "Do I look okay?" Like, was I bleeding? But I
00:10:30
had a migraine. Next day, brain scan came back negative. >> What a puss. He went to get a
00:10:38
MRI. >> I like I like brain scans. I mean, call me crazy, but they get you in that
00:10:43
machine. [panting] >> Yeah. So, you know, sometimes after this podcast, I get a brain scan at the local
00:10:52
hospital just because you drive me nuts. >> Yeah, it's true. I heard the bouncer
00:10:57
say, I was there when that happened to Dana. We went outside. His hair was a little down on final net, but other than
00:11:02
that, it was fine. [laughter] >> That is Yeah. Isn't that a spray? net
00:11:10
hairspray. >> There you go. >> Well, I you know I I drenched my hairspray. Anyway, I got out of there
00:11:18
somehow. Of course, I stole focus from the show. I was like, "Oh, is he okay?"
00:11:22
>> Scared. Um >> I walk out and it starts pissing pouring rain on me on my beautiful hair. I was
00:11:27
like, "Oh, okay. >> It can't get worse." It can. But I walked in the rain like a tough guy.
00:11:33
>> Um >> hold on. My $28. >> Hold on a second. Uh get David umbrella
00:11:38
for his birthday. Oh yeah. I'm not only to carry umbrellas. Who needs an umbrella?
00:11:44
>> You know what? >> You're a guy. You're wet. >> Yeah. Get a rain jacket with a hood.
00:11:49
What? You need a [ __ ] Mary Poppins stick on your [ __ ] [laughter] hand. What? You going to fly around the comedy
00:11:54
store? >> What a chim chimarie. What are you [ __ ] [ __ ] [laughter] Get a [ __ ] raincoat with a hood on a
00:11:59
top. >> Drives me a [ __ ] man. Go work on your car. Don't you [ __ ] >> [ __ ] nuts.
00:12:05
>> Everything's driving me up a [ __ ] wall. [laughter] And speaking of walls,
00:12:10
what the [ __ ] IS WITH WALLS? >> Why do you need one? >> Yeah. [laughter] Well, I think it
00:12:16
creates a room. Get the [ __ ] out of my face with the room. >> Just stay on your side. Who needs a
00:12:22
wall? >> Yeah, walls. >> It's [ __ ] great. >> He did come in drenched. He was super
00:12:27
wet. >> You know, every year, David, I think we can unequivocally say this. We make
00:12:34
resolutions >> that somehow never stick. >> But this year, >> I found the one resolution that actually
00:12:43
works. >> Gruns is the simple daily habit that succeeds where extreme resolutions fail.
00:12:50
Delivering real benefits with minimal effort. If you haven't heard me talk about grooms before, they're a
00:12:56
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00:13:02
isn't just a multivitamin, a greens gummy, or a prebiotic. It's all those
00:13:06
things and then some at a fraction of the price. >> Plus, uh I don't know if you know this
00:13:12
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00:13:20
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00:13:27
ingredients, and six grams of prebiotic fiber. That's more fiber than two cups
00:13:32
of broccoli. >> Grun does the heavy lifting while it feels like doing the least.
00:13:38
>> There's even [laughter] Grun's kids with, get this, 21 plus essential
00:13:44
vitamins and 60 plus ingredients, including nutrientdense and whole foods to support immunity and
00:13:52
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00:13:58
That's fo twg ru ns.co. >> I won't be as funny as your story, but um midnight two nights ago, something
00:14:10
like that, right? >> Asleep. This comes on. You know, you know when it's it's an emergency alert.
00:14:16
>> I had the ringer off. Emergency alert. Tornado. Tornado in your vicinity. Tornado. Tornado.
00:14:24
>> Tornado. >> Tornado in your vicinity. Please, please, you know, get in a small room in
00:14:29
your house. >> Scarier than anything. >> Well, the idea Yeah. tornadoes landed
00:14:38
maybe 10 miles away. It's heading our way >> and there's lightning and noise and rain
00:14:44
and then I'm just checking every second for because I love I love the math of
00:14:49
it. The radar where it's heading. It's going east. It's sliding down
00:14:53
>> and then the sky just lights up just like it's like there's reporters out in
00:14:57
front of the door. I open it up and like just blinding light. Yeah. >> And just rumbling rumbling, you know,
00:15:05
and I thought, "Wow, spades so relaxed down there in Logan." >> Yeah. Juicy. I'm like this [ __ ]
00:15:13
>> But I could hear it pounding on the ceiling. And it does wake me. It's so
00:15:16
loud. The rain lately has been so loud. Well, it's not even a I we watched uh
00:15:20
Hannah and your sisters earlier in the evening, my wife and I, with Woody Allen.
00:15:25
>> So then as this was happening, just to calm everyone down, I was like, "Yeah,
00:15:28
sure. Great." You know, that's all I need is a tornado. You know, I got to
00:15:33
be, you know, Dorothy going to see the Munchkin. And you know, >> no, it was a wonderful tornado. Oh, it's
00:15:40
just like I I like to be terrif, you know, and don't mean to be didactic or facitious, [laughter] but it's a bit of
00:15:47
a breeze. >> Don't we mean to be [laughter] irrediculous, but Xeek Cali alidocious. Hey, it's our
00:15:57
second Mary Poppins. >> Oh my god. In one. >> If we do three, then we have lottery
00:16:02
winners on our show. >> I'm going to make Bill Burr listen to this just to see what he's missing and
00:16:06
he'll go >> talk like that. Well, remind him that it was I it was a character I did before I
00:16:12
knew Bill. It was from the 90s flatter no matter what. >> It was about East Coast comedians who
00:16:18
who u harbor like gre anger comedy which they're hysterical throughout history
00:16:24
>> and then they get rich and famous and they have to kind of think of something
00:16:28
that would make them. >> It's funny he's so calm and normal backstage.
00:16:32
>> Oh yeah. And Bill Burr, if you ever run into him, folks, no matter what, if you
00:16:37
start talking about it, just say, "Who is your favorite drummer?" It's over.
00:16:42
>> Yeah. 20 minutes. >> Drums. He likes >> drums. Drums. Yeah. So,
00:16:48
>> uh, he's the coolest. >> Oh, yeah. Should we check in with that
00:16:50
breaking news yet or not? >> Yeah. Our guest has actually arrived. He's in the green room. Is that right,
00:16:55
Craig? >> Yeah. >> Guest in the green room. Okay, let's see. Oh, here he's coming in sort of a
00:17:01
back way. Um, I know something about Epstein. >> Yeah. >> Oh boy. Okay.
00:17:06
>> Hello. Hello everybody. I'm so glad to be on your show. Well, uh, hi. What? Um,
00:17:11
so you you claim to know something about where Jeffrey Epstein was. >> Uh,
00:17:20
>> does anyone Does he look like Jeffrey Epste to you? >> No, he looks a little bit like It feels
00:17:24
like it's Jeffrey Epste with a mustache or something. >> You're ridiculous.
00:17:28
Jeffrey Epstein does not have a mustache. Last I checked. Idiot. You [ __ ] [ __ ]
00:17:34
>> Oh, that's a little harsh. I'm the host. Come on. [laughter] >> I know. Hey, come on now. What is your
00:17:39
name? What is your name? >> Yeah. What's your name? >> Steve. >> Steve. So, why why should we listen to
00:17:45
you? Why would you have any idea where Jeffrey Epstein is? >> Uh, I don't know.
00:17:52
You have any money on you? >> Oh, boy. >> You want money? >> Well, I thought he had so much money.
00:17:57
>> I want some money. Wait a minute. Who is this? David Speed. >> Yeah.
00:18:02
>> Ah, I heard about the Esquire cover. You look like >> You did already.
00:18:06
>> Yes, it's out everywhere. >> Oh, it was a pretty fun interview.
00:18:10
>> At least Dan Agarno is an idiot, but you know I don't look like Jeffrey Epstein.
00:18:16
>> No, you don't. Now that I think you don't. He was He was >> He DOES NOT HAVE A MUSTACHE.
00:18:21
>> NO, HE DOESN'T. THIS IS INSANITY. SO WHY WOULD ANYBODY THINK THAT I AM JEFFREY
00:18:27
EPSTEIN? But I do know where he is. >> Well, where is he and why what is he up
00:18:31
to? >> Well, it was a long night at the jail and some people woke me up and said,
00:18:36
"Hey, you want to go for a ride? Jeffrey Epste?" >> Oh, a lot of people think that
00:18:41
>> Oh, wait a minute. That wasn't me. JEFFREY EPSTE DOESN'T HAVE A MUSTACHE,
00:18:46
David Spade. WHY ARE YOU CRAZY THINKING OF JEFFREY EPSTEIN WHEN HE NEVER HAD A MUSTACHE?
00:18:53
>> I UNDERSTAND. Should we come back to this or should we [laughter] >> I just want one more question.
00:18:57
>> Okay. >> Are you Are you in witness protection? Is that what you are? Witness
00:19:03
protection. [laughter] I GOT A GOAL. SO ANYWAY, THAT was our guest today. [laughter]
00:19:10
>> Oh, he said he's got a goal. I thought he said he had a goal in soccer. Goal.
00:19:15
[laughter] I want to remind the audience that David and I do not rehearse these bits.
00:19:20
>> Yeah, there's not possible. [laughter] >> I just had my friend Marker Sean make me
00:19:25
a Jeffrey Epstein and with black magic marker I made a mustache. >> We should have a a a crawl at the bottom
00:19:32
that says there were there was no thought put into any of these bits today. >> There's no effort or thought.
00:19:39
>> No, it is there's effort. We did a good job. >> No, no, absolutely. Yeah, I like that.
00:19:42
>> Now, if you're in your car, if you don't see it, it's a little trickier.
00:19:45
>> But it was a gentleman who looked like Jeffrey Epstein, identical twin, but had
00:19:50
a mustache and was very upset that we even suggested he could be Jeffrey Epstein.
00:19:55
>> Mhm. >> Yeah. Um, so we do you have any other stories in the weekend or should we get
00:20:00
to some news or what do you got? >> Really just the storms and um, you know,
00:20:05
I mean I just stuff I was in Helanggeles for a few days. Oh yeah. Do you want to
00:20:12
do Buzzing Around? >> Oh yeah. Wow. >> Do you have Do you have it in you to do
00:20:17
Buzzing Around? >> Absolutely. I've always I've always got to do [laughter]
00:20:23
I keep doing that voice now. I can't get out of it. >> Okay. We're going to do Buzzing Around.
00:20:28
>> Buzzing Around. >> I'm This is uh It's sponsored by Five Hour Energy as we know and is the return
00:20:35
of their confetti craze flavor. Bring big birthday energy wherever you go with this. Plan your confetti craze party at
00:20:42
www. fiveour energy.com or Amazon available now. Okay. So, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna give you
00:20:50
[sighs] >> a scenario. >> A scenario. It can go wherever it wants. >> Yeah. And then you just make up a bunch
00:20:56
of stupid stuff. >> Um it's it's got impressions. This is going to be Joe Biden as a um highway
00:21:04
patrol and uh >> Okay. Trump. >> Yeah. So, he's going to pull over
00:21:10
uh Paul McCartney and there will be Michael Kane in the car. There will be Bad Bunny fresh off the Super Bowl in
00:21:17
the car. >> And >> I'll work on my Bad Bunny >> and anyone else that can fit in the car.
00:21:22
If there is anyone else, it doesn't matter. [laughter] >> I'll see where I go. Some thoughts.
00:21:28
>> Go. How'd it go? Just roll out the window. Oh, you do the window effect. Roll down
00:21:41
the window. [laughter] >> Well, I love that you just go right into it and don't even think.
00:21:52
>> That's okay. >> Hello, officer. This is Paul McConey [laughter]
00:21:59
registration. Wait, wait a minute. What are you doing as a highway patrolman? You know, I
00:22:04
thought you you're the ex-president of the United States of America. >> Yeah, that's shocking.
00:22:10
>> Thought I should get out. She thought I should get out and have a job. No joke.
00:22:14
I'm not getting around here. Come on, folks. Well, I don't, you know, I'm just
00:22:19
here here with my friend uh Michael Kane and Bad Bunnies in the back. So, I I back I don't really have license and
00:22:30
registration. and it's in Liverpool. But I do have um >> I have an Arby's takeout menu with that
00:22:37
too. A take out at Arby's. Come on, that'll do good. They got the beef. >> They We've got
00:22:44
>> I'm not kidding around [laughter] here. >> I can't believe Biden knows they've got
00:22:49
the beef. >> They got the beef. No joke. >> I'm being serious. Come on.
00:22:55
>> Okay. >> Hey, Michael Kaine. Oh, Michael Kane. And I don't know what I'm doing here.
00:23:00
And I've got a bloody driver's license, but Paul McCartney wouldn't let me
00:23:05
drive. Right. Bad bunny. Uh star is >> careful. Hey, I speak hola. I speak Spanish.
00:23:18
>> I speak. >> I like you people. Uh, senorasa. Kasa. Yeah. Jill and I got married in
00:23:32
Kasa. Come on. I mean, I don't speak all this stuff, but you seem like a good
00:23:36
man. Who's the Where's the bad bunny? I am the bad bunny. Come on. There was a
00:23:42
bad bunny. I am the bad bunny. Right, Bob Dylan. >> Hey. Hey. Policeman. Policeman. Talking talking strange.
00:23:53
Yeah, kind of crazy policeman. What? No. Come on. Guess what? And by the way, the
00:24:00
fact of the matter is everybody. And guess what? And by the way, the fact of the matter is, guess what? And by the
00:24:07
way, the fact of the matter is Good job. Oh, wait. Here comes a motorcycle policeman, Dennis Miller. Christ's
00:24:20
sakes, you got a cavalcade of stars on here. Or what are the odds that McCartney would be uh gallivanting
00:24:26
across the world in an Oldmobile with that kind of mly crew back there? Right. David Spade.
00:24:34
>> Hi. Did you guys see my Esquire interview yet? [laughter] >> And scene.
00:24:41
>> Okay, good. [laughter] I didn't know I was going to be in it. >> That's five hour energy, man. That's a
00:24:47
lot of energy. By the way, >> that was buzzing. >> You see how my things are all brightly?
00:24:52
>> Oh, yeah. >> My five. That's unbelievable. Look at that. >> Looks like a professional.
00:24:57
That was buzzing around with Dana KBY. Sponsored by five energy's confetti craze flavor. Backed by popular demand.
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or Amazon. It's available now. That was good. I like that. Uh Biden knows a lot of stuff.
00:25:29
>> I know. And it's interesting in his post presidency that he would go through the
00:25:35
academy and become a highway patrolman and >> have the focus to do it. And also that
00:25:40
Paul McCartney probably could write a song about that about his little catchphrases. And by the way,
00:25:46
>> guess what? And by the way, it's the fact of the matter. Don't you know you
00:25:52
got to go? No jokey joke. >> I see. >> Yeah, that was like for no one kind of
00:25:59
rippy rip. >> Yeah. So, we did that and uh we'll get to some um >> we're clicking them off.
00:26:05
>> The story is going great. That was funny. I liked it. Um >> I enjoyed it because I like the idea of
00:26:11
those people in one little scene together. >> I like just hearing what you're going to
00:26:15
say. Uh, I my Bad Bunny I'm going to work on it. >> No, [laughter] I like K Pasa. We got married there.
00:26:27
Yeah. Uh, improv is the funnest, I gotta say. >> Uh, okay. What else? Let's see. What's
00:26:33
Give me a new story and we'll jump right into these big stories. >> These nonsensical stories.
00:26:39
>> We had our storm >> turns out are usually never true, but that's fine.
00:26:43
>> Okay, here we go. >> Oh, shocking. a Chinese female >> oh streamer reportedly lost a bunch of
00:26:52
followers. Oh, her her filter on her >> kept popping off. >> Oh, she had a filter and the filter
00:26:59
popped off and she she looked like eight years old or something. >> Oh. Oh, she has a face filter like Yeah.
00:27:07
[music] >> Wow, that's intense. So, I could put on a David Spade face of potentially. She
00:27:15
looks still pretty, just different. >> Yeah, just different. Just looks >> the tan.
00:27:20
>> Yeah, she looks fine in both. But I guess >> But you can put on filters, I guess. You
00:27:24
just don't know. I mean, I I feel like if you're on Instagram and you're making
00:27:30
money and people are clicking on, you could just be like, "Oh, this is a character. It's a
00:27:36
>> Yeah. >> super pretty character that will make money." Because what are the chance
00:27:40
you're ever going to meet the actual person or find out for real what anyone
00:27:43
looks like? So, who knows? >> Could I do an AI face that looked like every character I just did? Like
00:27:49
identical like Paul McCartney's talking. >> You might be able to put that. Yeah,
00:27:52
Kyle Donigan does stuff like that. He's got swap thing. >> He does it, but it's probably more
00:27:56
sophisticated now. >> Yeah. Uh it it probably gets better every week. Um >> every hour.
00:28:02
>> AI's taking over. >> But yeah, so um thoughts and prayers go out to her for losing 140 followers.
00:28:10
Okay. >> 40,000. >> 140,000. That's a lot. Actually, if I did that, I don't know if I'd come to
00:28:16
work. >> If you lost followers, I would crawl up into a ball. >> Oh, yeah. You know what? You'd feel so
00:28:25
bad. You'd probably finally follow me. [laughter] >> Don't Do I follow you? I can't remember.
00:28:30
>> You're like, "We're not there yet. >> Let's take it slow."
00:28:34
>> Yeah. Um I'm just sort of uh unintentionally mysterious, but that's
00:28:39
all right. When you meet people, Dana, you've never run into this because you're out there in the tornadoes, but
00:28:45
when you're like backstage >> tornado alley, [laughter] we bought the house
00:28:51
>> in Dorothy country. >> Yeah. Why is this house so cheap? Well, I don't know. It just is. It's not in
00:28:58
tornado alley, is it? Oh, don't be ridiculous. Um, if you move to a place called
00:29:07
Twister Meadows, there might be a tornado. [laughter] >> If you move to a town called Flying
00:29:16
Furniture Dakota, you just might meet a tornado. >> If you move to a town called Temporary
00:29:24
Town, there might be in a tornado alley. If you move to a town called oozing sore, Minnesota, you might have people
00:29:37
with ambulatory injuries on a consistent face. >> Oh, we switched it. >> I [laughter] know. I switched it from to
00:29:43
to oozing sore. >> I like it. [laughter] Um, >> no, that's an old uh Larry King bit I
00:29:50
used to do that when he would talk, you know, Ron Oak, Virginia, the towns, they
00:29:54
would sound like diseases. Creeping rash Minnesota, you're on, you know, oozing
00:29:59
sore, Nebraska. [laughter] >> Postu, Nevada. >> Postual's good. Postual. That's
00:30:08
>> That's a gross one because one time someone said to me, three in a row, I
00:30:11
have a boil on my arm. I go, sick. They go, no, it's a goiter. I go sworse. They
00:30:17
go, no, like a postule. I go, [groaning] >> geez, when did they make their way to
00:30:22
the word hunchback? from Apostial Goer into a hunchback. That's >> Hi, Gary Goiter.
00:30:29
>> How are you? That's a That's a bad last name. >> I would change my name if that may was
00:30:34
Gary go. [laughter] >> Remember what happened to Gary Glitter? Who was Gary Glitter?
00:30:38
>> Gary Glitter was in the band The Glitteronis in the [laughter] >> Yeah.
00:30:44
>> That's a spin-off of Spaghettiio. No, he was [laughter] >> Oh, that guy
00:30:53
We was >> at every game. >> Oh, man. Does he get a piece of that for
00:30:58
every game? >> Yeah, but he got involved in some stuff. >> Okay, >> we'll leave it at that. So, he got in
00:31:05
trouble. >> Ethereum. >> We'll leave it to the comment section to
00:31:10
figure [laughter] it out. >> I love where these arenas are named after crypto
00:31:16
>> and crypto drops way down on the arena. They have to actually try to shrink it.
00:31:21
That's really complicated to make it look not so important. You know >> what the crypto or the arena?
00:31:27
>> Well, if it's like crypto arena and then crypto goes away, they have to like turn
00:31:31
crypto to a different word. So, the crew goes up there and they rearrange the letters and it spells
00:31:37
>> toe kripe and it's just not the same. >> No, I think I don't need assist here.
00:31:42
I'm drowning in this. >> I don't like naming arenas. I'm helping.
00:31:45
Um [laughter] because I like, you know, I like Dodger Stadium. Am I like, you know, when they say like Tigers,
00:31:52
>> name of the team, >> Soldier Field, >> just cool and then they turn it into
00:31:58
like Target Center and you go >> Bill's sanitation center. >> Arizona has that waste management.
00:32:05
>> I know. I know. Waste management arena. >> Well, it used to be called like the
00:32:09
garbage can. It was something like you go, come on, guys. But >> I think the one that was the worst is
00:32:15
the constipated stadium. It's in East Texas. It's like a 70,000. Yeah. Welcome
00:32:21
to Constipated Stadium. And today's game, >> it's ironically in diarrhea, Texas.
00:32:27
[laughter] >> If you live in Diarrhea, Texas, you just might have to stay close to an
00:32:37
outhouse. Capiche? >> If you Jeff Foxy, I did Jeff Foxy on SNL and I was I was the Ebola virus. Oh, that's right.
00:32:48
You did do them. Go ahead, >> people. If you are And then I I don't know. I
00:32:54
can't remember it. But >> if you dab, you just might be the daba >> the Ebola virus. Yeah, that's how I was
00:33:04
doing. >> That was a weekend update bit. Um, all right. One more story and then we'll do
00:33:08
two more after. Okay. >> Oh, this is Colin Jo from SNL. He's at the Olympics. Oh,
00:33:19
that's right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's see what he see. >> Oh, he did the bob sled.
00:33:24
>> Was a very gifted driver, thankfully, Brian Burkeorn. And >> Oh, >> I was not prepared for the level of
00:33:32
terror [laughter] of this bobsled. I swear. >> Look at how fast they go. Oh, yeah.
00:33:39
[laughter] >> And they mike you, too, which is horrible. >> That's wild.
00:33:43
>> Going to snap in half. I thought my bones were going to fly off my body and
00:33:47
be littered all up. >> He was not ready. He was literally >> He thought it'd be like Disneyland or
00:33:53
something. >> But look at how rough it is. >> Well, they're going 8 miles an hour,
00:33:56
right? >> I would be balling my head off. >> How did he not know though?
00:34:03
>> Well, >> I guess until you're in the sled and going, you know,
00:34:06
>> Well, because he's in a production meeting. They're like, "It'd be fun.
00:34:08
Jump on the bobled. Woo. Go down like a toboga." And he's like, "All right, I
00:34:11
can probably do that." >> Okay. They sign these waivers, >> these death waivers.
00:34:16
>> I don't know if I'm much of a thrill seeker. I was once at the doing this
00:34:20
corporate date and there was a uh >> in West Virginia or something and >> there was a gigantic brand new roller
00:34:28
coaster, but it was like triple triple upside down. It was bigger than Godzilla. It was just huge. And local
00:34:35
news like and Dana Carvey, the church lady, is going to take a ride on this beauty. And I wasn't looking forward to
00:34:40
it, you know. I was, >> "Oh, you said you would do it." >> It was the maiden voyage, you know. They
00:34:45
had hadn't been test out. So, I'm going going, "All right, I'll do it. What the
00:34:49
fuck?" You know, and then they go up. The temperature is too low. We We can't
00:34:56
go because it might stick. >> It was so cold. >> It was cold, but it it it dropped
00:35:00
suddenly to like whatever 42 or 30 something. It dropped and we couldn't go. And I had to pretend
00:35:07
>> the Lord >> pretend that I was disappointed. >> Oh. [ __ ] I WANTED TO GO, MAN.
00:35:14
>> DUDE, all you need like I did the round up when I was a kid where you stick to
00:35:17
the walls >> and then the floor drops out and you're spinning and I'm like just trying to be
00:35:21
cool with everyone. I go, "Nope, no more." Like it is. So I don't need that
00:35:26
amount of scare in my body. >> It's like you're almost getting in a
00:35:29
crash. That fear but for like four minutes. >> Why don't people know? Because I did
00:35:33
that with my sister-in-law when she was like 10 years old at Magic Mountain. And
00:35:38
you you go in a room and there's a floor and you're all like up against the wall.
00:35:43
It's circular if people know about this. And it starts it starts going round and
00:35:48
round and around to the point where >> you're pinned against the wall cuz the
00:35:52
centrifugal force is so extreme. You're you're already nauseous and have a
00:35:56
headache and then the floor slowly goes away. So you're just on the wall going
00:36:02
it's like >> No. Then it goes like this. D it starts tilting. Now you're going like this. Oh,
00:36:07
I don't know [laughter] if mine did that. >> Like I'm in a [ __ ] dryer. I'm like,
00:36:10
you're joking. This cannot be legal. >> But the 10-year-old was with me the
00:36:14
time. Ne, she bounced out of there like happy and I was really sick for like at least an hour. Like
00:36:21
>> people that tell you I've been to Magic Mountain, let me tell you something. Off
00:36:24
the record, >> not so magic. >> More mountain than magic. And it's not
00:36:27
even close. >> It's 98% mountain. Very little magic. I'm just if I go to Pirates of the
00:36:34
Caribbean and has that little teeny thing in the but everything is environmental and there's puppets
00:36:39
talking at me. I'm happy but I have enough stress to I don't want to go upside down or be dropped a thousand
00:36:45
feet. >> I even did the [ __ ] teacups. >> The teacups. >> Heather showed it to me.
00:36:51
>> This is terrifying. >> That's it. It's terrifying. She just
00:36:54
found it. Looks like you're in a air filter. >> Okay. Is there a picture we can show?
00:36:59
[laughter] >> She can send it. No, >> it'll it'll like interrupt the next
00:37:02
story. >> No, but it was >> we'll come back and show everyone how
00:37:05
sick it is. >> People know when they go on these rides, you don't need it and if you hurt
00:37:10
yourself. Well, I always show on my Instagram. I'm on some algo where it's
00:37:14
like ride fails. And I'm like, that's a little light of a term to show 300
00:37:19
people dying. Like they do one of these things and they just unhooks and they all fly in the air and smash and
00:37:24
everyone's like, >> but when it does get stuck and it's 400 feet in the air and everyone has to get
00:37:30
out of the little teacup and go down >> stuck upside downside down. It's just when it gets stuck, a
00:37:37
mechanical thing. But as a kid, it was the county fair where the carnese and the gypsies would come in and set up the
00:37:43
thing the day before. So, a lot of the rides would just fall apart in real time. Hi, mommy. Hi, daddy.
00:37:51
>> No chance. >> No chance. Okay. >> I got the teacups. >> Got the teacups.
00:37:58
>> Let's put those decups in the teacups. >> What's the next thing you to go on Tom
00:38:02
Sawyer's Island? Is that what it is? Go one of those cakes. Okay. >> I like how Dennis goes very quiet.
00:38:08
Sounds good. >> Dennis is cry. Okay, Karpy. That sounds like fun. You take a little ride and go
00:38:13
Tom Sawyer's Island with the uh the drawbridge where you see Winnie the uh the the mute greet you. [laughter]
00:38:24
>> Hey, here's [ __ ] uh Gleeo. He lives under the sink. Survey says Thorzine.
00:38:30
All right, let's see. >> We should have Dennis on. >> I know. We got to get him on again.
00:38:33
>> We got to get him on. >> It's hard to make him live up to what he
00:38:36
sounds like all the time. This year, get back to an athome routine that you love and elevate your space
00:38:43
with Wayfair. >> Wayfair. >> From bedding to mattresses to storage solutions for every room in the house.
00:38:50
>> Wayfair is your one-stop shop. You can pop your living room with accent
00:38:55
pillows. >> Mirrors. >> Mirrors. I have a lot of mirrors. Um >> faux faux plants.
00:39:01
>> Oh, yeah. You have a faux plant. That's right. >> Is it? Is it?
00:39:05
>> Is it or is it? We don't know. It's so real looking. Look. >> Yeah. You guys should actually uh
00:39:11
everybody here check out Wayfair. You know, go to their site because I've been
00:39:14
looking around and >> it's really good stuff. It's I know I sound like I'm doing a different pitch,
00:39:20
but it's not that expensive, but it's really cool. Yeah, >> I'm looking at a sort of a chase lounge
00:39:26
or a little clo a little couch. bedding and bath basics, bedding, mattresses, and for you, David, towels
00:39:33
because I know you you have one of those like you have in a public restroom, a air dryer. You don't have towels.
00:39:39
>> Um, >> so I put my hair in a towel like this and I walk around the house like I'm in
00:39:43
a 60s movie like Doris Day. >> I did that in opportunity knocks. [laughter]
00:39:48
>> Everything was in Opportunity Knox. >> Everything was >> So yeah, you can uh get stuff for your
00:39:54
kids' room, you know, get them get them on track this year. You got you got storage for every space. You got storing
00:40:00
for outdoor furniture, bathroom, getting organized. >> Kitchen. >> Kitchen is kitchen stuff. Yeah.
00:40:06
>> A lot of people work from home, so you got those setups. You get desks, chairs,
00:40:10
bookcases, fake backdrops. >> Mhm. >> Get a nice Get a nice bookcase.
00:40:15
>> And for you and for you, accent pillows, cuz I know those are big in your life.
00:40:18
>> I take the accent pillow and I karate chop it to make it look like that.
00:40:23
>> I know. And they think you're joking, but you're not. >> I'm serious. Uh, it's very convenient.
00:40:27
They have everything you want. They got a huge selection of home decor items. >> It's easy to find what's right for you.
00:40:33
>> Yeah. You were looking What are you looking for? Cha cha lounges. >> Well, I was looking for just a little a
00:40:38
little couch or a chase lounge. And then I I just saw like 20 different options.
00:40:44
>> So, I'm going to order one probably today. >> So, you look, you see it's easy to find.
00:40:49
>> You see? >> Yeah. Anything you want. You can navigate their site very easily. And
00:40:54
like I said, it's it seems like high quality stuff for a very reasonable price. So check out
00:40:59
>> I always hear about it >> and uh now I know more about it, but >> it's the place to go. Listen, get
00:41:06
organized, get refreshed, get back on track this year for way less. Uh head to wayfair.com right now to shop all things
00:41:13
home. That's w afir.com. >> Wayfair, every style, every home, every home.
00:41:22
Okay. What is this? I can't read it. What does it say? >> Uh, let's see. I can get it. Uh, Cala is
00:41:28
a trained detect >> dog can detect cancer by scent. No cancer. Oh, cancer. Cancer. Cancer.
00:41:39
Little too excited about cancer that. What a cute dog, though. So, >> aside from not liking dogs walking on
00:41:50
like hardwood with their nails, I like this video >> because they put all these things out
00:41:56
and the dog goes right >> to like a little >> Yeah. It's It's traditionally sort of a
00:42:02
little bit sad or dark, a story about cancer, but then the dog lifted it into >> Yeah.
00:42:08
>> joy, you know. They should have that dog just walk around a airport or just walk
00:42:12
around, you know, anywhere, a mall, go to the grove and then the dog walks up to you and points and you're like, "Oh,
00:42:17
[ __ ] Is this the cancer dog?" >> Christ sank. Whoever thought of the the
00:42:21
phrase man's best friend had it going, you know, [laughter] starting to sniff
00:42:26
out things that are negative and uh will kind of guard you at night. >> They go, "Does this guy have cancer?"
00:42:33
No, no, our just cocaine. >> Well, they do. They do. They smell everything. Yeah.
00:42:41
>> And each other. Okay. Another idea. >> Yeah. They like to smell butts. That's
00:42:46
where they lost me. >> And they cannot lie. >> I like smelling butts and I cannot lie.
00:42:51
These other brothers can't. >> And I'm sprung and I get home. [laughter]
00:42:55
>> Oh, I like that you know that. That's get sprung. >> Oh no. I mean that is might be the
00:43:01
greatest hip-hop song ever. It's the catchiest song. One of the catchiest songs ever.
00:43:06
>> Okay. What's next? so beat up for my big incident. >> Yeah, I just was running and gunning for
00:43:13
the last six days. >> I'm doing good though. >> Um I don't even know what this is. Let's
00:43:18
just see. >> Okay, >> let's let it play. >> She'd be willing to do this.
00:43:22
>> They'll pay you $2.3 million and all you have to do is live alone in this cabin
00:43:26
near Lake Superior house. >> The cabin is located right on the lake, [laughter] surrounded by endless water
00:43:32
and trees. [music] Inside it's a living room, a small kitchen, a bedroom, and a bathroom with a large
00:43:39
window facing the lake. The rules are simple. You can't leave the cabin beyond
00:43:43
1,000 life. No phone, no computer will be delivered once a week. At first, it feels like paradise. The calm water, the
00:43:51
breeze, and the silence. But by day 10, you'll realize that the quiet and vastness become overwhelming. In the
00:43:57
last challenge, someone lasted 11 days. D has lasted three years. >> Not with 2.3 million.
00:44:03
>> The hardest part wasn't the silence itself. It was hearing only the water in
00:44:07
my own breathing. >> They filmed this thing at my house. To your point, [laughter]
00:44:12
the entire >> I do. I leased it out. So here's the question. >> Could you do it?
00:44:18
>> Well, what's the overriding? Well, you're not starving. You're not hungry.
00:44:23
>> You're just in an isolated. You can't dumb days. You see the guy that lived in
00:44:28
the rock last week on the show? >> Yeah. I mean, yeah. >> Sitting in a [ __ ] rock.
00:44:31
>> That'd be a chip shot for him to just sit in a mansion. >> I could almost do that.
00:44:36
>> I thought it was going to be that there was tides or something. The water would
00:44:39
come up and you have to swim and save yourself. >> Tread water. I mean, for that much
00:44:42
money. I mean, if I couldn't have like if I could only bring a couple things,
00:44:47
I'd bring a couple of my movies, couple of my magazine articles, [laughter] >> and some of your 8 by10s to look at.
00:44:54
Yeah. Some of the >> those are in my earthquake kit. I have eight by10s for some reason
00:44:58
>> of yourself >> just so the fireman will get me sooner. >> I would just say to the people with the
00:45:04
2.3 if that's after tax call us. >> Call us. We'll go we'll podcast from
00:45:11
there. >> I'll do it. I actually You would last longer than me on on actually any of
00:45:16
these shows. You could do Survivor probably. >> Um if I had a stack of books or I could
00:45:22
watch TV or something. I mean watch some old movies and read books. Tell me if you remember this
00:45:28
Twilight Zone. A guy stuck in an island, but it's covered in books. And what happens right at the end of the
00:45:39
episode? He drops his glasses and they break. >> Well, are you >> And he do you know the actual episode?
00:45:48
>> That's the one I kind of remembered. >> Okay. Real quick, just for the Twilight
00:45:52
Zone, >> do you know what it is? >> Yeah. Yeah. Burgess Meredith. Yeah.
00:45:56
was going to your appointment. [laughter] >> God, we got to do that on the buzzing
00:46:02
around having >> reminders. He's just says it's Burgess Meredith, but he just does that.
00:46:09
>> So, Burgess Meredith does a Twilight Zone where he's kind of a nerd that
00:46:13
reads all the time at the bank. What are you reading for, Jensen? Put the book down. He never can read. His wife yells
00:46:19
at him. All you want to do is read. So then for some reason he has to go check the vault downstairs in the bank, you
00:46:25
know, he gets inside there. There's an apoc nuclear apocalypse. >> Oh.
00:46:30
>> So he comes up. Oh. He comes up and it's just nobody's around and it's just he's
00:46:36
isolated, nothing. And he's really disturbed. But then they kind of cut to him a little while later. He's got a
00:46:42
stack of books like 10 feet high next to him and he's saying, "I I have time now.
00:46:47
Time to read." So he becomes kind of euphoric. time. And he reaches for the
00:46:52
book and the glasses fall off >> and break >> and break. But I had time.
00:46:58
I had time. And then it cuts Rod picture if you will. >> A guy who will eventually play the
00:47:05
trainer of Rocky in hit movies here in this shitbox show we like to call the Twilight. [laughter]
00:47:13
>> The great show. He [snorts] has to walk over to Pearl Vision Center which has
00:47:19
been destroyed. >> Well, I think the sequel would be he crawls along the broken glass but by
00:47:26
feeling he gets into Lens Crafters. He feels around and tries on 300 glasses and eventually hits the jackpot and the
00:47:34
reading begins again. I'm Rud Serling. >> You know my mom's Japanese and my dad's
00:47:39
optometrist and every December 7th they attack Pearl Vision Center. [laughter] >> Okay. Whose joke is that?
00:47:46
>> That's Mike Sterner from Arizona when I started. [laughter] >> I like kind of just basic jokes like
00:47:54
that. You know what I mean? >> Just like >> Mike Sterner. Where is Mike Sterner?
00:47:58
Call in. >> He was so funny. He had great song parodies. >> Let's have him on. [clears throat]
00:48:03
>> You could always get me with a song parody. I don't care where you're from.
00:48:07
I would love >> Well, we're going to be playing Let's do a Plug City. Uh, next weekend we're
00:48:12
going to be playing Thunder Valley in Lincoln, California. [laughter] >> Yeah, we are. It's going to be
00:48:18
>> right outside of Sacramento. And >> I don't know. I'm trying to I'm thinking
00:48:21
I might start with guitar. I'm trying to shake up my act. I might I might come
00:48:25
out. Got a black magic marker. But I have a might have some surprises. >> Oh, by the way, by the time this is on,
00:48:36
we will have aired Eddie Veter. That was fun. Eddie Veter. Yeah, just this uh uh
00:48:43
thoughtful, sweet person. Uh >> yeah, fun fun to talk to. That guy is >> Yeah, I could you know, he and I went
00:48:50
down the rabbit hole for a sec. >> Yeah, >> just just we could have talked about
00:48:55
Revolver and the White Album [laughter] for like an hour. >> The Beatles. >> That was good time though.
00:49:00
>> It was fun. >> Okay, let's do another story and then we'll get we'll get ready.
00:49:03
>> Let's wrap them up and then let's get to our >> banger. Yes. Get a banger.
00:49:11
>> Okay. Oh, this story. X UFC fighter. >> Seriously. Look at that. >> Wait, wait, wait.
00:49:21
>> You know who I am. I don't know why you lying, but don't act like you don't know
00:49:24
me. >> I don't know. >> You definitely know me. Nice to meet you, though.
00:49:26
>> Yeah. I just don't don't be lying because girls around and [ __ ]
00:49:29
>> You definitely know me, bro. >> Not even know some disrespectful [ __ ]
00:49:32
but >> don't like your attitude. Don't like your [ __ ] >> I don't like you at all, though. Yeah,
00:49:38
>> this [snorts] is a little rough. >> Is he trying to get punched? I mean,
00:49:42
>> you've definitely never been punched if you're doing stuff like this.
00:49:44
>> Are you the guy that got slapped on video? >> I did, but I'll slap the [ __ ] OUT, YOU
00:49:47
KNOW. >> I'm going to show you the inside of >> Wow, this kid can't win. He's done this
00:49:53
before. >> Don't do that. >> Oh, he does this to trend. >> Oh, man.
00:49:59
>> Oh my god. An elbow. >> Can he get up from that? Come on. >> Wow.
00:50:06
It's not even the guy who's yelling at. It's another guy. >> What's going on now?
00:50:16
>> These are streamers. I don't know what's going on. >> Okay, jump out.
00:50:22
>> Well, this is a feelgood video to end on. I'm glad you guys picked this today.
00:50:27
>> I think we'll skip that one because I don't even know where it's [laughter]
00:50:30
from. the film. >> I feel like it was me accidentally because I saw that guy on a different
00:50:38
one and he was talking so much. I was thinking in my head, sometimes young people just do not know that you can get
00:50:44
in a fight and get beat up if you just keep talking and you've got to know when
00:50:48
you're around dudes or dudes that are bigger. People have a short fuse and they'll just hit you.
00:50:53
>> Well, >> that was I think but that wasn't I didn't see that one.
00:50:55
>> He kept ratcheting it on the guy. It doesn't, you know, the guy could have,
00:51:00
the giant guy could have uh like in Master Disguise, you remember the movie? >> Sure. [snorts]
00:51:08
>> He learns that you you always hit a man with an open hand. You know, you make
00:51:12
your point, but you keep dignity. So, I think the guy should have slapped him. >> Well, the guy that got hit, the one I
00:51:19
actually saw. >> Yeah. >> He The problem is first, you're on live
00:51:22
stream, which means it's live while you're doing it. So, >> oh, >> the person you're making fun of feels
00:51:28
even worse cuz it's live. You're not going to cut this part out. So, he's
00:51:31
being humiliated. And he started flirting >> with this dude's wife. And so,
00:51:36
>> the the punky kid was doing that and you're like, and the other guy was
00:51:40
going, >> "You're going to get hit, dude. You better stop." And he goes,
00:51:43
>> "No, man. You don't scare me. Your wife's really pretty and maybe, you
00:51:46
know, she can always walk away." And then, but it was an open hand like you
00:51:50
said. >> And he was like, "Cuck." Oh, I thought he it was not open hand.
00:51:55
>> But now this one is another one I hadn't seen. But he's back and getting punched
00:52:00
again. If that's his hook, I wouldn't keep doing that. >> It looked like a really flush.
00:52:05
>> Yeah, that looked like a real either that or was it on the elbow. Either way,
00:52:09
he was like >> it looked like a short right cross with a lot of quick power to it. And his face
00:52:15
just went >> he went >> guten. Guten. That's our new tradition here on
00:52:23
Flying the Wall. We're going to have some kind of violent clip. It went violent
00:52:29
>> and our joyfest. >> Remember last week we had one of the >> be happening, but he's asking you want
00:52:35
really. >> Hello everybody. I don't know why you end with a violent clip all the time. I
00:52:41
mean, you want to send people home with a good feeling, right? >> Yeah. We want to fake Epstein. That that
00:52:47
uplifts everyone. >> I'M NOT EPSTEIN. LOOK at my stash. [laughter] >> Sorry.
00:52:55
>> Thank you, fake. >> I I guarantee everyone that I'll have a different puppet for next week's
00:53:02
episode. >> All right. Well, thank you for hanging in there if anyone stayed with us and uh
00:53:07
we'll see you next time. >> Thank you. We appreciate it. Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast,
00:53:16
which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast [music] app. Give us a review, fivestar rating, and
00:53:22
maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend. If you're watching
00:53:26
this episode on YouTube, [music] please subscribe. We're on video now. >> Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey,
00:53:32
an executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, [music] Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman, Mattie
00:53:38
Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman and the show is produced and
00:53:44
edited by Phil Sweet Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. >> Special thanks to Patrick Fogerty, Evan
00:53:52
Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Shuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gainner, Shawn Cherry, Kurt Kourtney,
00:54:03
and Lauren Vieiraa. Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us [music] at
00:54:09
fly onthewallsey.com. That's audacy.com.