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david Um Felipe Esparza yes is a great uh stand-up comedian our guest today on Flat Al Good dude I actually uh was quite entertained by him
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He had a great story and and you know that was one of the ones I have to say I'm not tight with but I think you had met him and I was introduced to him
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through you as far as his comedy And then when I looked him up I thought "Oh my god this guy has been around doing
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great." And it's just one of those blind spots when you're not in the same places as people But he has a huge career huge
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huge following Uh his story is so interesting because uh he came through the border illegally years ago with his mom and his brother and I think his brother had to be
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dressed up as a girl or something But anyway his stories of how he got to America
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um and how he started his career in America and how he's become so successful It's just a great great ride
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and he's he's funny and charming as well I think you're going to really like him Yeah I had a great time talking to him
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He's a good-looking dude Uh if that matters to anyone does to me does every every He's very young for his age and
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he's has a great head of hair We couldn't get over Yeah Cool hair and and uh a good attitude and I had a lot of
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fun with him So yeah hope you like it Here here he is Felipe [Music] I just thought of a a rich person's metric or people have a little extra
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money Either you go to a salon you go to a barber shop to get a haircut or the haircut person comes to you It's the first sign of having a couple extra
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bucks in your pocket Also depend on if like who you're working with too Because um in Comedy Central they don't have like a hair stylist So when you're working with like BET or Def Jab there's
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like two barbers there from the hood and they give you there's a barber shop on the side You don't even know what's going on You sit down and go and you you hear the comedian go "Give me a Chicago
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fade." I've heard that And I'm like "Give me I'm like I have long hair Give me a cholo number five
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Yeahum cholo number any kind of food product with that You just get hair done There's no sense of any sort of food
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with that A cho stand up My hair was really short like a gang member It was really short
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and then you know I I used to get pulled over on the way home So I just started letting it grow and I just let it grow and then I haven't let I haven't cut it
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yet What length is it past gang member yeah When does the length of the hair reduce being pulled over oh man you got
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to be like um like uh Bill Bird Yeah officer Who's [ __ ] speeding here all right I'm going to the [ __ ] comedy store All right He's aggressive
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That Bill Listen give me some pickles [Laughter] You know what drives me out of my [ __ ] mind meet mates Get a [ __ ] car I don't need a golf cart Give me a
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pocketing ticket you [ __ ] meter mate Meet head Anyway that's kind of Bill Bar I used to do that I used to do just east coast stand up But so for our audience
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why don't we just quickly go who where you came from and who you are is extraordinary So we've never had a guest quite with your story So don't be shy But yeah don't be
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shy Don't you grew up in Mexico and you made your way to America and you know you're incredibly successful You play giant places have a huge amount of fans
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So it's just kind of an American dream would you call it or Mexican dream or what is it how are you processing i got
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here when I was like four years old or five my my brothers and I with my with my mom We came here illegally My father was already here living in America and
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so were all my my dad's relatives They were working for Warner Brothers Um it's funny They they all had jobs putting the record inside of the the cardboard They
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were at the press the record pressing company Oh fascinating That's someone has to do it man Dude it's not bad I'm telling you Felipe I used to work when I moved to LA tried
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stand up Of course I wasn't doing that well because I'm in Glendale putting the A team dolls in boxes in a warehouse to
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send to anyone who ordered one But it was kind of boring But every day I'm like did they want the They want the A
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team actual figure They also want the headband Nope they didn't order that So I'd have to figure out from the order
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what they wanted tape it up physically So I'm with you dude Jeez I'm This I'm just going to say it I pity the fool He pity me for sure Mr T I used to work at
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the back of um um North Broadway where the Broadway warehouse used to be And I used to separate all the clothes hangers the
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plastic ones Oh yeah You got to keep them separated So I was in a room full of hangers bro Like the whole room with hangers And my friend and I would just get high during lunch and start grabbing
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hangers all day Uh okay Those type of jobs are just mind-numbing You have to do We used to take dexatum to wake up It was like so stupid But anything
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Did you ever grab your friend by the scruffies of his neck and say "We got to get out of here man I can't hang here no
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more." I don't know Good night I can't do it I can't hang I so you when you came across the border okay illegally I'm not going to judge
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you know came across illegally how hard was that and were how old were you were you scared you had your little brother
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with you right was it scary we were kids I don't remember being scared I remember
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being caught we made it cuz we made it through the border like the right around Sanro the border we made it through there
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But there was another uh checkpoint like I guess they were they were medic men or
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something or but there was like the the sher the s clemente sheriff department or somebody had a there was an extra checkpoint that the death city made
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randomly stopping cars that were in the on the five south on the five north Right Right I guess So they stopped us and our driver was he was a um a Mexican travel agent
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you know a wild coyote A coyote He was a coyote A travel agent My favorite Yeah man It was a Mexican um coyote um travel agent So he was
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American They let him go and um my mom and my brothers and I we got arrested and my mom was released to go back to Mexico and then we were released like 3
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hours later and we we cross the border and we stood there another month figuring out plan B
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Then um we borrowed our our cousins passports and it was two boys and one girl on a passport and my mom looked at my brother my little brother and said "Well I guess you're going to have to be
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potty." Start growing your hair You made What did What did you do to make him look
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like his passport photo i mean Oh man he had to wear a dress for a whole week just to get in character Get in
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character Get in character Yeah Yeah man He he went all like he went all into it
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man And when um when we got to a border they had like makeup on him and a little
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dress and they asked him "What's your name?" My name is Pip and he's gay now but you know what he took one for the team That's all that matter That was nice
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Okay When we'll get that's a whole another podcast He's gay now Starring Philip Uh nothing wrong with any of that
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But so was he I feel a hard top By the way did you I mean you're looking at your mom as the adult and she's like sinking Are you reading her feelings at that moment you know like oh we're
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getting caught but then really determined a month later you go back and then you do this thing and now
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you're in America Yeah And Yeah When do you figure out like you've got this gift of gab for laughter took a while We didn't know like like we
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didn't know everything we did back then was bad Nobody like sat us down and said
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"Hey everything you did was bad Don't do it again." And we didn't know we were illegal man I remember calling kids illegal and I was
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illegal I I remember telling kids "Go back to go back to uh El Salvador or go back to wherever you came from and I should be going with them
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I would just tell her listen when you get when you come out of school don't talk to strangers Don't talk to anybody
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Just run home Jesus No matter what you're doing in life just run back home No after run back home Scary Wow How
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long did that go on that kind of fear When did when did it turn for you i mean I don't know Oh I guess um when we were we were we were in America for a while
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and we went back to Mexico to uh take care of some paperwork and then we crossed the border and we went to um we went back we uh we crossed the
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border We went to the section for um illegal immigrants but not the deported ones I guess Mhm and we had um Mexican IDs and we filed for green cards right
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there How scary So you went and it was almost like admitting it So you're like here we're going illegal cuz it's hard
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to get back the second time I'm sure So we had a bunch of um I don't know what we did to I know that we had to leave we had to um we self deepported I guess
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what we did first Mhm We went back to Mexico on our on our own when we went when we went back and then um I guess like a week later we all came in illegally How scary though to go back
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and go I we know once we go back it could that could be it Yeah I forgot that part I never I never mentioned that
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part about the our voyage that we actually sell the reported ourselves Yeah for and then we we decided to come back in the legal way And what growing
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up in Mexico to that age and then what was your vibe of America and and I kind of want to know do when did you go to
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Disneyland i mean what did you what was it like is it was it Oh man First of all
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uh when we got here the coolest thing was that the bathroom was inside the house cuz we we our bathroom was out
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house and you were that was an inside bathroom Blow your mind Okay Yeah man And uh we could flush the toilet
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Do you ever miss an out house toilet paper We could flush toilet paper inside the toilet We couldn't do that at um
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Well And some houses in Mexico they will they'll tell you "Hey don't don't flush anything down the toilet." Literally
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anything Not even poop Nothing Anything bro Put in a little pocket Did you have Yeah that's funny cuz Yeah Did you When did you kind of um sort of
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be feel American or you know what was that we were in kindergarten Mhm Um we went to we went to um we went to elementary school kindergarten and all the kids were speaking English
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and I was the only one who didn't speak English well but like I caught on fast I started watching American shows That's
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all we watched And um we didn't know how to pronounce a lot of words with like um
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they had like um a K in the middle for some reason Like we didn't know how to say bionic or binoculars or any any word with a C
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in the middle like that Yeah It was hard for us to pronounce cuz we were my brother would call Bionic Woman Balion Woman So what were you what were you watching
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i'm sorry What shows we were watch um we would watch um we would watch um all the
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shows that were on CBS for some reason man That channel would come in looking good on that TV with no antenna Crispy So we have no antenna So whatever
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channels look good I guess it was on channel 9 Telemundo Of course Telmundo You could break your television unplug it and Telemundo still come off
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What about what do you People say they learn from watching TV I don't I've been overseas I don't learn anything from
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watching a foreign language but it must be easy I guess to pick up phrases or how do you do that yeah we watch a lot
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of movies My dad he like watching movies so we will go to a drive-ins a lot and um he like clean Eastwood and Ste and
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Charles Bronson Yeah Charles Bronson But that was wearing the beanie just like him Even though he was not a vigilante and he always look at the go
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[Laughter] I saw it Yeah Yeah Charles Bronson used to be a big impression to do in the
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clubs in the 70s I can't I never There were some good ones You couldn't do it of all people Well I didn't get excited about it I just I took by the way I took
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basically Spanish for like eight years and all I know is Don Estala Bibloteka esta gracias That's a lot Uh mucho tobaho Um that's much because we we work
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with a lot of people from south of the border They were they we have skilled gardeners all kinds of people Uh so yeah but I wouldn't take their their Spanish
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for granted because my dad uh he dropped out of he dropped out of school in a sixth grade Mhm So his Spanish is pretty
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much basically as good as any American speaking Spanish Is it Spang English is that a real thing where it's like I
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don't know man And in where I grew up they call it chic The mixture of cho and English Ebonics to ch Hey man like "Hey man hire the radio."
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Hire the radio Yeah Or they say "Oh they mix English and Spanish." Oh right now I have grand You know what I mean grande
00:15:36
Yeah I know some Look at that Being bilingual and and working in both languages which we get to first one to do a special on both languages What can
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you tell us about English and Spanish i mean is one more romantic is one easy or lands harder laughs for you when you do
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your set in Spanish or is it just it's just something we have no experience better in one language and they kill the other language The phrasing and the timing in English and Spanish is
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different right i mean well what happens with me was that a lot of the words that I was speaking in in Spanish were chic
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Mhm You know like words that um along Mexican-Americans in the southwest have used as Spanish But when I went to Mexico those words don't even exist in a Spanish language Like when I was saying
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I was saying fix my brakes in spa in English and in Spanish I would say I would add an a s Um breas and breas not even a a Spanish
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word Word for I don't know how to say breaks in Spanish apparently I was just saying like cuz I know that white people they add a O after every English word when
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they can't know what to say like your sono is not doing his homework or you know Yeah I did I did that in Italy People do that We had as in the
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beginning when we don't know English we're like esite you know or [Laughter] excuse me
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So then so I had to go to Mexico and and um I started I actually started off open
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micing in Spanish first and I started building up a set till I got to one hour when I was comfortable in Mexico Wait so in Mexico you're doing a Spanish set
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basically if things everyone can relate to there and then you come over after you got that's an hour is a lot Yeah I um I I translated my jokes first
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of the of the hour in English into like um in their language they could understand Okay Except some words were
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play on words so I had to get rid of the whole joke Yeah for sure And by the way
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this is on Netflix right now It was done in 2020 Bad decisions English Spanish versions Pretty translate
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When I was in Tijuana Mexico a lot of the audience were uh people that were deported by by all the previous
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presidents There's people there that were deported by President Obama There were people there deported from Bush
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People deported from um from Clinton A lot of Clinton gang members Was that like Hey I'm a Clinton man I'm a Clinton deported me Did you hang out
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with the people that were deported by your president yes And I even hung out with a bunch of
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um military Marines that were deported during um the last administration Like there's a whole neighborhood with nothing but um
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deporty uh military people like people from that fought in Korea people who fought in um in uh the Gulf War people
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who fought in Afghanistan Iraq but somehow they got deported and and then get deported after they do that That's
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horrible Well some of these guys have PTSD so they never really fixed their papers and some of them um are not with
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it but um they're all they were all um they were not born in America but they were promised citizenship Sure And some
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of them didn't they didn't go file I know this one one guy that I spoke to he's 74 He got pulled over in Echo Park because there was a shooting in Echo
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Park and he was coming out of the grocery store where they got a milk and the police they they held they pulled
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everybody to the side in that area and they were checking everybody's IDs and he had a he didn't even know he had a he
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had a deport on site on his ID So he went straight to Mexico He didn't call his family Oh man He was 74 Yeah 74 and
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he thinks he's just he's he's done with all that and then they just it seemed like the danger is still there What
00:20:11
what's your advice for people in uh Southport border now with Trump in there stay away Come in Try to come legally I
00:20:18
mean what do you Oh man If you're going to be here in America illegally first of all don't hang around with no gang
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members Don't hang around with anybody with a bald head anybody with a low rider for work and come straight home
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Straight home Tell your kids "Dude don't hang around with bad people Uh just do your job and just live like a normal citizen and uh you know if you have a
00:20:45
you're going to be driving no driver license man I will stop at every red light and look both ways." Even the
00:20:51
green light So just be boring Be boring and be simple Be boring or they won't get deport They won't deport you
00:20:57
right i mean ideally the idea is to get really horrible trouble makers out Yeah Yeah I could see getting caught in a crossfire of just again I became a US citizen in October Really oh good Good
00:21:12
job Wow After all the specials and all the successes still they held you out You know [Music]
00:21:23
one thing that was kind of interesting I don't know if you want to go in this direction but at some point you were kind of seduced by gang life or went in
00:21:31
a gang and went through all that So what was that like was it hilarious oh when I
00:21:36
was a kid um I I hung out with a bunch of kids that were into break dancing at the time And they were we go to we would
00:21:44
go to Venice Beach and compete with other kids but I was never good at um break dancing but I was good at shoplifting you know Me too So I was I
00:21:55
was like in charge of merch So I was in charge of stealing all the white gloves for people and I would sell them to them
00:22:03
I used to carry the cardboard in my break group So um after break dancing died out and then crack cocaine moved into our neighborhood All my friends got
00:22:14
into the same gang except me And then they were all like 16 years old 17 And I avoided them forever till I turned 19 I was 20 years old I was too old to be in
00:22:28
the gang but they still jumped me in Oh you know Shane it's funny because in this movie Bus Boys when we join to be a bus boy we get jumped in And then one
00:22:40
time I quit for an hour and I had to get jumped in again I'm like God I quit for one hour and they're like that's you know the rules Spades doing a movie I
00:22:47
thought about I had a joke about that when people were leaving California to live somewhere else I said you're
00:22:53
leaving California you should get jumped out first Yeah See Dana we know all I know This movie with Theo Von is you you
00:23:00
guys flee to Mexico or something right no we go we get stuck at the border on the way to Mexico We try to go to Mexico but we can't get across So we work at a little restaurant on the border America
00:23:13
and uh we we want to be waiters so we get job as bus boys first to move up in three days but it takes years cuz we're not any good But yeah everyone there is
00:23:25
Spanish I mean most of the cast because we're right there Felipe in that movie man H we should have actually I didn't
00:23:31
even know about too busy So you could have turned it down It would have been great So wherever you
00:23:37
want to go but I mean you're in gang stuff You get to America I mean I just like when did you do your first first
00:23:43
set in America where was it oh it was um it was in 1993 probably or 94 at the Natural Fudge Theater and um it's on Fountain
00:23:58
Avenue in um Silver Lake Natural Fudge Theater from the from that church that Tom Cruz goes to Oh yeah Scientology Scientology I know it well Yeah Yeah
00:24:11
That church That huge building You mean that monstrosity huge monster across the street from that It's a theater It's
00:24:18
called the Fountain Theater now but it was called before it was called the um the Natural Fudge It was a vegan studio It was a vegan vegetarian um coffee shop
00:24:31
I have no idea that it was vegan till after I left So we were It was a open mic on Monday nights with punk rock music So they have a comed two comedians go up and then where the comedians are
00:24:44
performing the punk band is behind them setting up their band Oh my god So then like two bands will perform punk music and then while they're checking their [ __ ] down three more comedians are
00:24:57
performing for the punk audience which is probably not the best Yeah punk Hollywood
00:25:03
runaways kids I think it was 18 and over That seems like a Jamie Kenny there Jamie Kennedy Yeah Great com Jamie Kenny did there Alonzo Bowden Brian
00:25:16
Holtzman Met a lot of a lot of people there Do you remember that first set do you remember what line killed did you have a bit that worked or were you humiliated or what was it like i had a
00:25:27
line that killed but it was um it was um Oh I said that um this is Romeo and Juliet if it was um shot in my neighborhood And then I pretended that I
00:25:41
pretended Romeo was like a crackhead Like I was shaking you know with my elbows I was acting like a crackhead you
00:25:47
know right and I was biting my fingers and I was looking at the floor like a crackhead does rock the real and then I would say and I I was yelling out "Julia
00:26:00
you [ __ ] [ __ ] Where's my [ __ ] fight?" That one sounds like it would get a big laugh in a rowdy club It's high energy Yeah it got you got a laugh there from
00:26:12
the people that were homeless And um and then the owner of the place his name was
00:26:17
Johnny Roberts He had a local access show at um Tuesdays at 10 p.m on channel 3 on um on cable some cable network Yeah It was just a free public access show
00:26:33
and I didn't know what public access was I didn't have cable People me going "Kiden that was amazing I want you to be
00:26:40
in my my show We tape every every Wednesday morning." It was It's a t It's a big comedy show I thought I made it right I thought it was going to be like one of those Yeah
00:26:51
You thought it was evening at the Apollo but it was local actors And um and I looked at the way other comedians were dressed and I and I went to a thrift store and I bought like a a a ' 80s like
00:27:04
a a coat a jacket and I was trying to find a tie to wear like a ' 80s comic but I couldn't find anything And then the guy at the thrift store he said "I don't have a tie but try this on." And I
00:27:16
didn't know what it was Yeah I remember it was somebody told me it was called a I don't know what bobo or bow tie Yeah
00:27:26
Yeah It was it was like a metal thing Mhm I look like FY bear if you were Native American
00:27:33
It's a good look So So but that sounds like a big deal though You're on a TV show It's not a big deal but in your head it's a compliment like "Hey I did a set They're
00:27:45
asking me to come on this show We all We all did that that era I mean you should have a you should have a show called Loco Access Loco Access Yeah it's
00:27:56
not bad So I met these guys there and then they told me to go to another place that that does comedy on Saturday nights called Waldo Comedy Station And then
00:28:09
that was on right on Highland on Highland The back then it was called a Hollywood Hotel So they do we did comedy
00:28:16
there and then I finally made it to the comedy store How how many how much longer oh to
00:28:23
audition for Mitsy How'd that go the original room of Mity back then yeah it was five years later and it was like 90
00:28:32
oh Mitsie still there in her booth This comedy store is huge You what happened comedy store is huge but not that many people are going to the comedy store back then Not like
00:28:45
now in our way Not like now It was dead There was a comedian that they used to bring their dogs on stage I mean you were back then man It was
00:28:56
like if you if you wanted to be a comedian like if you stuck around those days you're probably doing well right
00:29:03
now because um I remember it was like so many people were getting bumped when I first started off Like really bumped like um I remember there was a b a big
00:29:15
showcase and um a bunch of comedians that were supposed to be seen by Mitsy Shore and she didn't show up so the the showcase was cancelled but there was a
00:29:27
lot of people who actually made that trip from other parts of the country to audition man I only took one bus and nobody know what I was doing but there
00:29:38
were people there from Jersey they call their parents and And then um the dice man shows up and
00:29:46
does five hours on the stage Didn't even get to go up Dice Andrew dice clay Oh my
00:29:53
god I put the sticker out on the rise Yeah Oh yeah On stage and then like five hours I was waiting I I didn't
00:30:07
leave after shows up He does four hours Who eddie Griffin Oh Eddie Griffin It's a [ __ ] marathon Four hours So it's a 9 hour show You've
00:30:20
seen two comics Okay Who's next yeah And then 1:45 in the morning bro I go up at
00:30:26
1:45 right before Robert William Oh did you say I only have two and a half hours of material because I'm new yeah Like three minutes
00:30:39
Did you dude I Let's do a side note Dana for the people listening It's not crazy
00:30:45
to think because I was from Arizona and if someone said Mity will see you this Monday I would fly out It's too
00:30:52
important to have someone in the business see you or Bud Freedman at the improv So that's a really really big
00:30:59
deal I understand why everyone came and if she casually didn't show up what a heartbreaker And also we all got bumped up in San Francisco where I started You
00:31:09
know they'd say Robin's here the great Robin Williams And uh I thought I was gonna maybe have a 9:30 spot and then
00:31:17
Robin would do three hours Oh I can't believe it Oh someone's on Oh look Oh spaceship Look Oh it's a Frisbee But anyway he was brilliant And he would he would le I call it levitate the room He
00:31:29
would kill so hard that you're like "Fuck I got to work harder." Did you see someone early in that time and went
00:31:36
"Damn that guy or woman is at another level?" Did you have somebody who kind of blew you away and made made you want
00:31:42
to get better right I saw um what's his name dane Cook Dane Cook and Dane Cook World when he when he became kind of at his height He was doing um Sufi
00:31:54
Okay Whatever it was Sufi What was it i don't know the bit but it looks funny I like it He's flipping you off He spit about you know uh I don't
00:32:06
know how to do it but he'll be like um you know how people they they flip you off Oh I see They go "Fuck you." That's right But [ __ ] that It should be a super [ __ ] you called Sufi Oh yeah He
00:32:20
think he told us about this day huh something like that right yeah Yeah he did that And he would storm around the
00:32:26
stage He was super physical hyper confident really clear with his jokes and Yeah And he's that highly skilled to follow that you know Yeah And um I
00:32:38
remember people would have it tattooed women would have it tattooed on their on the back of their butt like a like a
00:32:44
stam stamp That's fine Oh boy Oh interesting Any of those Thank you When did you have women trying to hit on you or I know you're happily married now We don't want to go into it but some women
00:32:57
love funny funny men Hell yeah man I had a I have people tattooed my name on their back I'm not even famous [ __ ] You had a young lady You look Yeah
00:33:11
By the way he looks young I thought you were like 28 or something I had a woman um in Las Vegas She told me to um
00:33:18
autograph her arm and she was like 21 and I was like 40 and um I uh I tattooed I wrote my name sloppy on her arm right she she had a little chubby arm you know
00:33:33
it was my pen was getting sure to do Yeah I wrote Felipe on it And then later on she sent me a photo of her in a thong with um not showing her boobs but
00:33:45
showing her ass And then her arm and she tattooed right there Filipe she tattooed
00:33:50
over your autograph Okay Yeah that's that's something people do I like that You want to bring her home to mom That's somebody you know Hell yeah man Especially with her next boyfriend
00:34:03
So also that was cool So then so you're at least 40 That's So you're 45 You look
00:34:09
You look 27 now Yeah you do look No I'm not 45 I'm 55 Get out of town I just told Dana he looks so young I don't know Black don't crack beige don't age and white ain't right Also I don't drink so
00:34:24
that helped too Yeah that Yeah the booze face it can really age you you know Um so so now I mean just because we we have limited time You really you're doing
00:34:36
you're doing the clubs When's I just curious when's the first time it became your job like okay I'm I'm a standup and
00:34:43
that's how I earn money I don't I don't need any side hustle How long um well I I had child support They were they were coming after me and they were garnishing my paycheck So I was making
00:34:57
half So that kind of helped me decide to quit my regular job since I wasn't making no money anymore at my regular job Mhm Sure So I just went straight to
00:35:09
doing standup And then like in 96 they were doing this big standup show in um San Antonio Texas Some guy named Jeff Valdez and the owner of the the River
00:35:21
Center Comedy Club um Kylen and and Jeff uh Borsha I I don't know their names but they they produced a a show for Showtime
00:35:32
called the Latino Laugh Festival hosted by Dave Fuentes and Paul Rodriguez Yeah Yeah because they try to grab all the Latino comedians they can find and I was one of the younger ones that actually
00:35:43
auditioned for the show and got it I met comedians there who I didn't know were Latino like Greg Geraldo and John Mendoza Was Geraldo i didn't know those
00:35:55
guys Yeah Yeah I didn't know grace I I was very shocked to see John Mendoza because I always thought he was Irish but I guess he's Puerto Rican and Irish and he was one of my favorite comics and
00:36:07
Paul Rodriguez was the original Latino comic at at least at the improv you know he was the store it was totally the American Express card
00:36:20
where he bring a knife with him consequently Paul always starts off his sentences with a big word so they're
00:36:26
going to be in the afternoon consequently Consequently that's a huge over their head You can I was the first one I heard
00:36:37
say stuff like that You can laugh now but my cousin Julio is stealing your hubcaps Yeah that brought down the house
00:36:44
at the improv in 1985 Yeah man I remember um the first time I I saw him was in a glimpse of um television before I wanted to be a comedian Then I was my dad was like he
00:36:57
would change the channels from CBS Duca Hazard all the way back to the UHF channel 34 But he you know he could he could go left you know just go left and
00:37:09
boom he's there right he's there Boom He'll be at channel 34 Yeah He likes to mess with us and he'll turn the knob all to see all the channels so he could see um all the all everything we're missing
00:37:24
So so what I was like Leonardo de Caprio in that movie point like this Whoa whoa
00:37:31
whoa whoa whoa whoa wait wait wait Don't change it Mexican on TV And Paul Rodriguez he was doing his set um on that show AK Pablo He said uh the
00:37:43
bit was um he goes I remember when my family came over from Mexico it was 17 of us in
00:37:50
an inner tube and we were singing ain't no stopping us now we're on the move killed yeah he always killed so so um last comic standing you make your way
00:38:03
you're going through the clubs you're doing well and then something happens it's a big move big moment right oh yeah And when I won standing it was $250,000
00:38:16
and my son's mom fought for child support the next day Oh they wanted a little slice wet The last baby mama standing
00:38:27
dude She She's like "We won." Yeah man Yeah Daddy's funny We're going to get a swimming pool finally He's responsible
00:38:39
Yeah Well that's a big one to win that And then last comic standing is that the one I think Todd Glass you don't remember this but yeah man shout out to Peter Engles the producer of the last
00:38:51
comic standing and save by the bell he passed away I think um a week ago Oh okay we'll get that shout out to him somehow And um also so you get that now
00:39:03
what are you are you immediately a headliner or were you already a headliner yes Um as soon as I win last come standing we go on a 80 city tour
00:39:10
all over America Ah wow Yeah So that's tough We're hitting townwood Pennsylvania Bro places I only hear in songs Yeah Traffic report So you wait
00:39:25
Yeah How do you do it do you go with some other w like runners up and you're like the headliner yeah Other other
00:39:32
people that were on the show i think it was Mike Stefano Roy was Jr Mike Kaplan and uh the other guy who who was second place Tommy John We all went on tour We
00:39:44
all were doing 20 minutes on stage for 80 80 cities on a on a tour bus Was it a bus okay A bus Wow Those guys are good too Does anyone start getting too good on the trip like or do they rotate you
00:39:57
or you always Everybody It was the order how how we won So I was last [ __ ] that's
00:40:04
tough Literally the last comic standing Yep Did anyone kill before you and as you're crossing on onto the mic to close the show they just kind of say to you "Follow that motherfucker." Did that
00:40:16
ever happen yes You know what what was saving me from that was there was an intermission Oh okay Yeah So
00:40:26
he was murdering He he he passed away also God bless him um he had HIV and on the show he had HIV also and um he was a exh heroin addict so he was all messed up but he he ended up I thought he was
00:40:41
my biggest competition cuz he was likable on stage and his type of comedy is very popular now so he was doing a lot of dark comedy back then that's kind
00:40:52
of it's like acceptable now and um he was likable and I really thought he was going to win but this guy murdering bro Like he will when we did San Francisco we did the filmore I remember him saying
00:41:05
I knew there was a lot of gays in San Francisco but god damn I tripped over a dick on the way in here you know and
00:41:11
everybody went crazy Ah He would say stuff like uh cuz he would say stuff like um stuff like "Oh man I got into a fight with watermelon guy and um he said "Fuck
00:41:24
you I'm not watermelon." He goes "I'm Puerto Rican." Listen [ __ ] I'm not I'm not anthropologist I don't know what the [ __ ] he's saying When you go on these tours so you get
00:41:36
250 to win And do you get a set fee every night as part of your deal to tour or is it part of your 250 cuz you guys should make some money We had it was
00:41:48
250,000 for the winning the show plus um whatever they were giving us to headline was looked like was 3,000 for me some
00:41:59
show 3,000 for one show 3,000 a night So you're playing pretty big You're playing
00:42:04
theaters 2,000 Places that a normal comic headlining by himself will probably make 52,000 maybe Oh [ __ ] Yeah Some places were 3,000
00:42:17
seaters 4,000 seaters They were all sold out And you're only getting three But so they're going to make some money too
00:42:23
Yeah Normally you'd make a lot That's another 240,000 on top of the 250 pre-tax You're looking
00:42:31
just south of 500k Yeah And also we had a I had a development deal with NBC that went
00:42:38
nowhere Oh but you get paid up front for that right That's nice It's nicer if they find a show for you But yeah that that's for the people at home They give you money up front to
00:42:50
hold you for a year to maybe find a show for you Something like that Yeah What happens i got I got I had a TV deal with
00:42:57
a comedian named Dustin Ibara with ABC and they made us money not to It's funny I never thought that they'll pay you money not to work and and pay you money for saying no Yes They call it a
00:43:11
holding deal They take you off the field [Music] Now by the way I some a little birdie told me a gentleman told me that you had
00:43:22
a run in with um Eddie Murphy What was that what was that about oh man I was in a set of you people Jonah Hill movie Jonah Hill Yeah And Amy Murphy We're
00:43:35
like in a like in a stripper scene in Hollywood A bunch of strippers And uh man one of those
00:43:43
strippers on a one of those strippers on a in a movie that an actual stripper she ended up giving somebody a laptop for
00:43:49
for two grand on a set when nobody was around Horny ass [ __ ] Horny ass [ __ ] That's a special name That's your next special Yeah man So Eddie Murphy walks
00:44:03
in and he looks right at me He goes "Man you're a funny [ __ ] man." Oh man just [ __ ] myself and I forgot I had one line in the movie and I forgot it when he told me that So
00:44:16
Oh so he knew you That's great Yeah he's cool And then um the next day he'll come up to me Hey man wasn't that rad the way Eddie Murphy told you were funny in front of
00:44:30
everybody And then yeah that was cool Wasn't that rad and then Andrew Schultz he mentioned on his podcast I thought
00:44:37
that was cool And u the director of the movie came up to me He said that was cool And then the next day he comes back
00:44:44
to do the same scene and he tells me hello only Not not everybody Just just telling me hello Whoa And then the next day same thing Then I'm getting paranoid you know I'm like okay man you're trying
00:44:56
to get everybody in this set to hate me now Yeah I'm not liking you already because of this Hey Eddie could I get a
00:45:02
you're a funny [ __ ] just to start the day yeah you don't have to do it but if I could get a "Hey you're a
00:45:07
funny motherfucker." No you go tell this guy he's okay too He has like three people that look like him on the set I
00:45:14
don't know Like you got to be nice to really because of fear of being shot or something He's got look alikes
00:45:21
Like standins and wide shot guys When you read the lines to Eddie Murphy like you're you're um he's he's reading lines to you but when it's your turn to get the camera he leaves and then you get a
00:45:34
stunt man Oh you get the other guy Oh really that's that's kind of a a movie star move Catch you all later So he gets
00:45:42
to do that That's So now we're at a point where this is pretty You've done a lot since 2017 These four four specials
00:45:51
in seven years the current one on Netflix right now Raging raging fool Fool And by the way I just want to ask you something stylistically when it started because I really like the way
00:46:03
you move on stage Like you're you're telling jokes and you're moving forward and then you're moving backward and then you're move A lot of guys go side to side or just stick to the mic but
00:46:15
there's this little kind of physical thing you do almost like a boxer You kind of back up you come in you land it
00:46:22
and then you do this move back It's it's it's pretty cool to watch It's a little bit like you're dancing up there So when
00:46:29
did that come in was it just someone pointed out to you or you just do it organically that I was nervous before
00:46:36
when I when I when I was the last standing I had a I had a coat with a little tiny tie and I had a pocket and I
00:46:43
used to always hold on to the pocket and move it like this You know the way Ronnie then you go hey I get no respect
00:46:50
no respect I was an ugly baby I tell you when I was born the doctor slapped my mother
00:46:56
hey we love him so so from nervousness you did that and now that you're confident you sort of kept it as a as as a signature in a way you know
00:47:09
yeah I tried to do it so much because I felt like if I know the joke is funny I start moving fast like
00:47:16
like a pincher giving away his knuckle ball Yeah Yeah We all have our our way David funny when you got a bit in your act that you know is going to kill or you think it is you give a big wind up
00:47:27
doesn't work you go "What the fuck?" I think you stay quiet Um you slow down when David when your punch line is going to come I feel like when you when the big punch lines are going to come maybe
00:47:39
maybe your perfect timing you do your stand up timing but I noticed that you start to get a little quiet and then there's like a big explosion David will modulate that way and he's never thirsty
00:47:51
up there as the people would say No he's very funny Like I remember watching your young comic show when when you're doing
00:47:57
the special You said you saw you two and you had little [ __ ] seats right here but you were way over there and they were you didn't know what the [ __ ] they were saying Oh he was yelling no war and
00:48:09
I was yelling no war I didn't know what he meant And like like there's so many like oh man as a comic like me like there's so many tags left There's more
00:48:20
to the truck he could have done Oh yeah I kept going He takes a [ __ ] out My favorite one is oh man
00:48:27
uh a woman feels a sharp pain in her hand while she's doing dishes Six miles away her daughter is giving somebody a hand job A hand job Oh
00:48:39
my god that was time life books A woman doing the dishes feels a cramp in her hand I feel like you may have been That's great That's a great memory memory I mean you're kind of maybe
00:48:53
influenced by David in the sense that you have a high ratio of laugh points and punchlines in your stories like boom
00:48:59
boom boom consistently you know and David does tell a story but just subtly starts building all the all the punchlines the masseuse bit you're doing If you can have little tent poles in it
00:49:11
before you get to like the big ending it's keeps them around That's the hard part though Like I have a one of my
00:49:17
specials because I remember I saw a woman with a tattoo and she had a Ouija board
00:49:24
tattoo like a Ouija board tattoo in her back and I could just I was like "Oh man
00:49:31
imagine being who am I what's my name?" You got to hold her back like "All right let me let's find out [ __ ] Let's see
00:49:36
who the [ __ ] you are." Why does it have to be [ __ ] who the [ __ ] you are it can't be hi Hi ma'am Let's check this out But uh yeah that
00:49:48
was so good lord I don't know Look at this I'm looking everything Well you did a lot It's nice to meet you finally Uh
00:49:56
and uh this is great And uh thank you for coming on Look at you got so much four specials is a lot I remember um you um when um when um when I I remember
00:50:08
like when I was bummed out about Oh man they're not [ __ ] headlining me Oh you know when you get when you go to the the
00:50:14
12 year mark when you see all your friends making it and you're not headlining Oh yeah Can I remember you
00:50:20
said David that um you had to leave the Tempe improv and go make it so Dan Mir could headline you Ah God the old because I'm from Tempe It was even more embarrassing Yeah Yeah Sometimes you
00:50:34
just don't but sometimes you know you think you have longer material and it's not as good You know it's you think
00:50:40
you've got an hour and other people like I don't think you do So or you have to be pretty you have to be a little harder
00:50:46
on your material So you go I got a good because you can do a great hour and the next time you can do your set and it's
00:50:52
like 46 because you didn't get as many laughs You're like oh [ __ ] I don't think I had and the the waitresses are putting
00:50:59
down the checks and you're like "Oh I got one minute left." They're doing math during your closer checks 20% Give it to me I'll do
00:51:09
the math Checks go out right toward the end of your act and then you got to you get like a l a built-in lull while they
00:51:15
try to figure out who's paying for the potato skins That's a hard one You got to get past that when you're headline
00:51:21
You're like "Shit I got to stay alive during this." Jesus For the comedian before you you being a opener that's a
00:51:26
killer Oh yeah They give you opener a middle that kills I when you do good as a middle that was my problem is I was
00:51:32
doing good as a middle going I could headline and you get and then I'm following a good middle which is hard
00:51:39
and also you got the checks to deal with and you're like oh [ __ ] I don't think I'm ready for that Then you you realize
00:51:45
you picked up on more chick as a middle hanging out by the bathroom than the headliner Oh that's true You just got to
00:51:52
hang out You stand by the door when everyone leaves Hey did you like the middle um can we well just for one
00:52:00
minute because he'll be listening to this I just we have a mutual friend So Larry Bubbles Brown who's the famous San
00:52:07
Francisco comedian who I've known for years really good friends tours with uh Felipe offered him a lot of opening spots and he's someone with with a he
00:52:18
sort of plays a sad sack character and after each line you know um I lost my identity or someone stole my identity now they can't get laid Mah
00:52:30
So let me give you your what's your how do you do it how do you do his Mah there's another one I forgot how he says the um I don't know I can't remember his
00:52:42
jokes right now There's another guy that that's friends with him He's from Minnesota and the other kind of like sim he's more darker His name is Chuck Bartell
00:52:54
and he's dark opens up for Tom Papa sometimes Oh Tom Yeah but this guy Chuck Bartell he has no social media Like you can't even find him But he has very dark
00:53:06
humor He has a joke where he says that um um what they saying uh oh I got kicked out of a Chinese restaurant for Oh I forgot my I forgot my reading glasses And I went to a Chinese
00:53:19
restaurant They kicked me out for squinting chuck bartell.com Check him out Find him
00:53:28
Myrr So anyway about I I took him with me to I took me with with me to to open up in Hawaii at the Blue Note Mhm And the whole time we
00:53:40
were there he had a hernia Well he still has the hernia He's afraid to get surgery Right But I'll be with a hooker anytime Mr
00:53:50
I I got a mia All right Thanks Philip Thanks Philip Thanks for having me This has been a presentation of Odyssey Please follow subscribe leave a like a review all the
00:54:04
stuff Smash that button whatever it is wherever you get your podcasts Fly in the Wall is executive produced by Dana
00:54:09
Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey and Heather Santoro The show's lead producer is Greg
00:54:15
Holtzman