00:00:00
we are on Superfly anyone still listening is anyone still listening we should just show all that beginning because that's more interesting how we both you're too loud you're too soft I
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can't hear you what's going on ABS more interesting BTS yes people polished show and thank you I shouldn't say this for sticking to the
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script about the pre-plan and technical difficulties your acting was terrific if
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this acting is in the bus boy movie no to the Moon oh F I smell an Oscar nomination [Music] shum well I will say welcome to Superfly
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there's lots to go over this is a big show Dana that's Li one but no it is a good show I will say I was going through the YouTube comments some people now they know we go through so they get a
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little spicy in there most people no they rile me up when they go like this they don't like some story some angle we took and they go stay in your lane
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boys I'm so I don't give a f what stay in your Lan on the free show you're getting they go just stick to more jokes and I'll keep peeping it I go your
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free show isn't going the way you want are you okay how about we do whatever we want I know and I does not sound like
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you know the real Jerry Seinfeld it does not I believe that's someone using the name spelling it with two y's or
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something Jerry you think that's Jerry commenting I don't think it is but I see sometimes I'll see comments and it's
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Jerry Seinfeld or Tim Dylan or it's you know and I go these are fake outs Jerry's not F stay in your lane it's not
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stay your lane no I will say sometimes if you get Krabby on the comments don't cry too hard cuz you get tears in your iPhone
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you have to put it in rice sorry you have to put it in rice and then you punch somebody because you're so
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frustrated then you have to put that in rice you need two bowls of rice God talk about frustrated Daya I'll tell you one
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quick story that will bore the [ __ ] out then i' I've got five bits right after I'm my Lane if you can get through
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this bitless story I'm just saying sometimes I go on The Daily Mail which is also my friend refers to as the daily nailed because they always just bust people doing stuff tot it is funny Daily
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Mail is you know light-hearted garbage I mean it's really nothing it's a it's a ruthless robot driven algorithm and they they will do the most the most kind of
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gotta click on it and then they ask for your email they have these little this little thing that says M on a thing and
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then you have to start getting involved with the algorithms like no let me tell have to know about women sexually okay
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you got me boom yeah listen you just want to click on some cute little story about Megan marle like tripping on a fire hydrant you're like I got some free time I'll click on that sure but they
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they're all like this person puts on a leggy display you know those kind of things busty blond display yeah cheeky display I think it's from Europe
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whatever her per bottom right so a bunch of okay culmination of dumb stories that's fair I'm sure they would say it the same way I I think that's fair I think you're in your lane so far you're in your lane stay in your
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lane Spade don't you go after Daily Mail I'm not I watch this garbage and believe me I take the time to click the X's
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because there's 500 ads on the side they pop in your face they click they block something I'm just trying to dodge
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bullets so I can hear you know one crummy story so anyway now they say every third story is like this is Daily Mail Plus sorry what's that you can't
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read it unless you give us a buck 99 that's what I was talking about you put it better yeah you jumped ahead yeah
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kind I jumped all over your bit so what's what's the funny part there's no real bid it's just saying like I don't I
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don't have an extra $1.99 to give to I like free garbage I don't want to pay look that's really here's the thing you
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go on that thing it's it's what they call a guilty pleasure I I don't know who thought of that why you'd be guilty
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the reason you look at TMZ and these sites is because once in a while because they don't give a [ __ ] they got a team of lawyers Daily Mail has 10 million reporters around the world yeah just
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regular people here's 500 bucks and so once in a while they get it right and they jump regular media and that's why you look once in a while they said two
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weeks ago Trump's gonna do tariffs and crash the global economy so I clicked on it you know they predicted it right I
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will say that it's like Duma there's ones that Duma did the smart thing where they go hey everyone's a personal
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Paparazzi so rat out everyone you see at all times and there will be nowh to hide in the world so that worked because then
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people do that but then they run into some legalities but you know overall it's it's same thing so Daily Mail I'm here to protest the
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$1.99 they get there's so many ads and so many things in there you're making a killing you're making it so hard to read
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and watch already and now every third story about you know Prince Harry uh yesterday he might have been wearing a bucket hat did he buy it or not click here and I'm like all right then it's
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like don't try no no no no don't try to get the free story I'm not to click on bucket hat will I would I want to click
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on it am I fascinated by what that guy on that Ginger Cranium yes am I going to click on let me tell you this the entire thing is written by AI robots IE so they had a
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meeting you can do one of the voices I'll do one of the a voices how much should we charge for Daily Mail Plus 99
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Cents 199 they will is is not as offensive people might be able to scrape it together even though just the idea of it makes me physically ill I I do I have
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what you call a a release bucket next to me when I'm watching Daily Mail in case
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I I uh get one on Deck what did Wayne's World say what would Wayne say if you hurl then I'm gonna spew if you spew I'll get my PUK bucket yeah but I'll
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tell you what human beings were ready for the wheel they were ready for fire they were ready for the printing press they were ready for electricity they were ready maybe even for nuclear power
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but are they ready for robot driven AIS brainwashing us into rage and anger because it a if it outrages it's contagious and I'm staying in my Lane well I'm glad you're you're
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reminding yourself to stay in your lane but uh well I think that's the name of a a podcast the most boring
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podcast we stay in our lane hi we're stay in your lane hi what uh it was sunny today what is our lane they're like just do your Dopey jokes I'm like well I know that we we seem as if uh
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it's entertaining enough that we have a script that we're reading from on the computer but believe it or not you know
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right now as much as we know about what we're gonna say next we have no idea we have no idea but I'm gonna you want robots you want comedy hire robots I'm gonna do you boring yeah then you want
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boring you that's us that's us stay right all right so I get I get comments on my you know do red red necki so I wrote two 10 minutes ago they're not very good but they're red red necki the
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red neck comedian and he's been gone for a while red R yeah he's still still around and these are not my best jokes
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but at least I'm doing them and sure he's a comedian and jokes his jokes maybe aren't the best jokes okay here we go let's try one I'm gonna see if I can get a smile out of
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okay David not too much pressure I'm red red necki the redneck comedian my mama said red only bleach will get the skid marks out of your underpants I said do what you
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got to do Mom because I need my taty whes before the sity Hawkins dance come and get
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[Music] some let's go to the judges Heather what do you think does she know what Satie Hawkins is oh she does okay it just felt funny it just makes no sense it sounds funny
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yeah I like it my daddy said help me change this tire red I said why you've got four flats he said red that power of observation yours is gonna take you far
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life come and gets home so he he asks the girl to the dance and then he's thinks his underpants will
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come off we're going back one we're going back because yeah okay I'll read it slowly like a professor okay okay let's break it down class my mama said red
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that's her nickname for her son only bleach will get the skid marks out of your underpants that's the setup I got that part I said do what you got to do Mama
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it should be Mama but I need my tidy wies back in time for the sity Hawkins dance come and get on okay tidy wh is is a funny term for little Underpants I said Underpants first sk tid skitter
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barks is funny and okay do an assist I need a better payoff I need my W his back for sad Hawkins is just not doing it in case I get in a car
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crash I need my tidy wiers back in case I [ __ ] my pants yeah because in a car crash they say a lot of people [ __ ] their pants so wear clean under mama I do not want to take a dump in my tid
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wates if they they got skid marks on them I need fresh trackss she that might be a little
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lengthy but yeah I'm getting a smile I'm getting we're getting there like it I like the breakdown behind the scenes of
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red red necki so daddy says help me change the tie I said why you've got four flats and
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the dad well damn red it's that power of observation is GNA help you go far so that's that well first of all it's good he's talking to both parents there's a lot of communication yeah uh and so the
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dad is teaching him life lessons and that's good he's he notices four flats yeah and I can't beat my Classics like
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what's for din Daddy I said Daddy what's for dinner he said [ __ ] on a shingle I said this day just keeps getting better
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and better come I gets home they should be like that's one of the best ones that's one of the greatest jokes of all
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time the best one was the first one and it's a little outside the lane but he said I'm red redneck the redneck
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comedian I made my sister only CU Mama took me down come and get some I married my sister yeah I agree that one is top 10 that's top five all right I know it's exhausting I was in Sun Valley I did a
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couple Carson uh getting p over when you said last week wait last week you said you
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were in Ketchum and I didn't know if everyone knew that Ketchum was probably a beautiful city in Idaho it's in Idaho it's next to Sun
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Valley and I'd seen the name catch him but Sun Valley has you know it's like balla it's all the celebrities and all
00:11:59
this gorgeousness and I assume that catch him would be a [ __ ] hole but I got to catch him and it's gorgeous and then I started reading up on the history of Ketchum and it was about uh Crooks and
00:12:13
thieves would rob the bank and winam Mona Nevada go up north into into Ketchum in Sun Valley to hide and this one Sheriff was so p snicky and so
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persistent he would get a posy and Chas the bad guys up into the town to catch him but in that days it was just Sun Valley and he goes folk he go they go hey hey I hey Sheriff I don't think
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we're gonna catch him let's go back to winam Maka he says we gotta catch him you kidding we're gonna catch him if the
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last thing we do in fact I'm calling this pot of Sun Valley catch him Jesus is this we're stumbling back into a red R necki joke can you go to catch him
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you got skid marks and catch them so that's how Ketchum came up these Bandits would Chase and if not had a bathroom break in 400 miles you can bet they got skid marks yeah thank you a
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this is a running theme all right I can switch to Carson because Carson killed so hard and catch him that I love and I
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don't know if I've done this one on our show okay okay I like the name I don't think I can top this name well first
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I'll do a warm-up one okay okay sorry officer I didn't know I was swering I had a triple whiskey sour at Banana Dan's yeah I like banana Dan banana Dan
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right this is the one that won the day and catch him won the day sorry officer sorry officer I didn't know I was swerving I had a double leaky giraffe at the desperate sponge
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[Laughter] I'm laughing Heather's drifting off but Heather oh she can't hear that well she can't hear that oh you can't hear Dana at all she can't hear me at all then
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that's would would we got to get her a mic that's tampering your jokes a little bit she laughs at all your jokes but I
00:14:16
saw you got I got a big smile at one of the great I laugh at it because uh what was a sponge one desper sponge yeah I had a Le hard to come up with you can do
00:14:27
you can do those wrong because there's some sponge is funny to me I don't think I can top desperate sponge I've got a
00:14:32
lot of feedback on it this is for anybody wants to leave in the comments uh we started out slippery
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monkeys at the hook and crook two frozen soldiers at the windy shumit but now we
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have you know a double decker a vodka up with a Twist at the desperate sponge desperate sponge is like damn how do you
00:14:54
beat it first of all he saying it like Carson is 88% of it and then you just have to have a little funny puncher at
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the end funny name yeah because it's some way of tapping into 1970s Carson's pulled over that the drink places and the drinks they send Carson to AA and he
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says I had a desperate R I had a leaky giraff do you have a drinking problem I think you have a a language
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problem there's no cocktail really involved a lot of those places are closed now I haven't heard of any of
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them I've never been to any of those places the windy Summit is still there yeah they're shutting down so many
00:15:31
things but Carson went AA and he goes I had a I had a uh I had a two slippery monkeys na at the desperate sponge I have a real question a little out of my
00:15:43
Lane but was Carson a sex attic yes have you heard that I know a lot of things I
00:15:51
know someone who dated Johnny Carson for a year when he was 25 when she was he was 55 she was 25 he said she had a slippery nipple slippery you should uh
00:16:02
you know look I don't know if this is true I don't even get sued but he like poppers Amal nitrate yeah take some of this and
00:16:10
you'll come like a banshee oh now I got to laugh yeah you're getting into the out of your lane I'm getting out of my Lane I'm being blue and scatalogical today yeah let's go to clean stuffff
00:16:24
[Music] we can go to the headlines but what else you got might have some other St more thing I checked in with my good friend
00:16:36
the one and only Lauren Michaels oh and Lauren and I want to talk about the good night incident with
00:16:43
you in a second oh yeah that's right but with with Lauren as you know he's become very interested in the Lively balini
00:16:51
thing but I just wanted to talk to him about last week's show and who's he got coming up in April so Lauren how are you
00:16:56
coming so he texted back up there's I think that Lively will probably settle because I think Baldini's got the upper hand and I texted yeah but who's the host coming up um Lively's team thinks
00:17:11
that his Baldini's claims will be debunked immediately yeah but I mean in May or you have any guests I um it's said to go to trial in March um I think
00:17:22
it'll get nastier until it gets less nastier right about any musical guests we should know about or any reunions um it's a classic sexual
00:17:33
harassment I think the evidentiary proof is there if you want to present it in court he seems like he's not even answering what you're asking are you going to I know it seems like he's ignoring my text are you GNA go to
00:17:45
amaganset this summer um Reynolds also has a counter suit that's going to come in and bini will have to defend on both sides sometimes when he texts me he put
00:17:56
I'm not believing what RR is saying I'm like is that Ryan Reynolds obviously this is the kind of thing that if you like it you like it if you don't you're like right now a lot what percentage of
00:18:08
people listening to us are right now ironing a shirt probably probably 18 to 20 see some hands yeah yeah phones are lighting up okay I have a couple more I
00:18:20
have one last one the Japanese gy and earthquake oh CU but you just got served at on a plate last week because was an earthquake but he he got his building got retrofitted he retrofitted his
00:18:34
building he's a little [ __ ] here on the phone retroit retroit not a problem R rro retro rro retroit uh you okay for
00:18:55
earthquake retroit you hands retrofit retrofit retroit and Ste I can't you know what I
00:19:07
have to do David now the problem is you have to use two hands for that bit the thing that you have you have an arm the
00:19:14
next time you see me on this oh for this I'm going to have an arm because I'm doing too many act outs and I don't have
00:19:19
a hand too much I couldn't talk on the phone I have retrofit no problem RIT We Stand earthquake you know
00:19:27
so or you someone you need like Heather to come there and shake the bit like shake
00:19:34
the computer yeah Heather can be my my sidekick my my Puppeteer all right so the Morgan wall
00:19:42
and we'll put this to bed it's big story this week biggest story history we're the final word on it because between the
00:19:48
two of us we've been to about 300 good nights yeah okay so first of all let's break down found the good nights do you did you enjoy the good nights cuz he just walked off the good
00:20:04
nights are the part of the show you hear [Music] the yeah like Cheryl whoever it was whoever does now play a piano it means
00:20:15
we're out of show but we've got about 45 seconds to get one on stage say good night you mention the host you thank any special guests you thank the music and
00:20:26
then you thank the cast and then they do the credits and everyone hugs or whatever they do right and depending on
00:20:32
the length of the show the good night could be longer oh yeah people don't know that it it it it expands or
00:20:38
contracts if they couldn't fit in a sketch and we've got it okay we're going to have a [ __ ] three minute good night B keeps playing so then you
00:20:47
there's strategies where you you can die in a vine out the good nights because if it's three minutes and you don't know it
00:20:52
well there now he's just like see later I don't know he walks right into the [ __ ] a camera half the cast members
00:21:00
have covid and he just got away but look good nights if it was cancelled would you be sad I mean I know Lauren's a genius you got to have it the audience
00:21:12
loves it I don't mind it yeah but you know the strategy of like this if you're new you if you have a nose for the lens your parents are watching you want to
00:21:23
get up front but you don't want to look like a greedy [ __ ] so you hang in the back and wait for your moment what I did when I was there in the fall doing Biden
00:21:34
whoops go ahead I would take a cast member or I took Alec Baldwin or I took a cast member and I put my armor around
00:21:41
him bring him up front and then turn him this way and that way I did it with you know Heidi or Ashley different show them
00:21:48
off well so that they don't have to be hungry for the to have their mom and desk then I'd ask go my Mom and Dad
00:21:54
loved it what you want is the host to immediately turn around and do a beine towards you and give you a huge hug on camera that's the ideal situation as a cast member uh but the host doesn't know
00:22:07
what to do either they don't know how much time they have so they're just killing time and vamping and then
00:22:13
they're kind of eyeballing the monitor going are we still going so hug hug hug kiss kiss kiss you were great more hug I
00:22:20
try to stay in the back row we've talked about this if I was light in the show I didn't deserve a lot of times I wouldn't
00:22:25
go to the good nights because I was wasn't in the show so I'm like I don't I shouldn't be up there it's so that was
00:22:32
my personal argument with myself and yeah well I almost well I shouldn't really say this but this guy is incredibly nice guy uh brilliant song
00:22:45
songwriter and performer shabui Shabu what's his name shabzi shabui came up and he's such a big person that he picked me up and then he got a someone
00:22:57
pulled him a chair he got me on lap like I was a marionette and I I yeah you're a puppet I was a puppet and
00:23:03
he too far ahead of dude jacuzzi when I saw him backstage great I thought it was
00:23:10
Derrik Henry he's the hugest coolest looking yeah start I wanted him to I wanted to just be friends with him so I could walk around with the gentlest nicest uh personality he doesn't wear
00:23:22
his you know he looks like an NBA forward or something like his size of man is like I don't know 69
00:23:29
260 and then yeah I don't even know if he knew me because I walked by and he goes what's up [ __ ] I go was he the
00:23:35
music guest when you did Hunter Biden yeah okay so maybe he picked both of us up and we were both sitting on a yeah he put me in his hand like Stuart Little at the good nights Stuart Little
00:23:48
was huge for me in the fourth grade don't don't hit me with steuart little is Stuart Little the mouse or Mouse get
00:23:55
in a little peepot and go down a river Jes [ __ ] amazing he had he made a peepot a canoe yeah [ __ ] little could do anything pretty
00:24:06
inventive uh and they float I guess I should float they I don't want to troubleshoot the Stewart little too hard
00:24:12
you probably you were probably in fourth grade in the yellow book or the red book you were still you're still trying to figure out how to say c-spot run
00:24:19
probably oh my God this I've never been so insulted were you in the BL not in your lane dude were you in the Blue Book
00:24:26
what's Blue Book does that mean there was a series of books where you got smarter you got different colors that I
00:24:32
felt bad cuz my brothers had dyslexia so in third grade they were in the red books there the red the yellow green and
00:24:38
then blue and then this secret society with the purple book that the smart people I went in there and they had a
00:24:45
huge picture of you as a four-year-old I'm like black and white photo I was like what who the [ __ ] is that guy no
00:24:51
joke me and the Vietnamese kid used to walk down to fourth grade reading and math when I was second grade so I don't
00:24:57
want to over talk about that but I will say this to try to get some action this was a panty dropper we would do our times taes and you get like you get like a sheet 8 * 756 9 * 981 you know you
00:25:11
just go through but I was good at Tim tables so you get them and they go teacher goes just do it as fast as you can whenever no rush you know it's not a
00:25:18
contest it was 100% a contest for me the only thing I could win so I would do it
00:25:24
and you're just supposed to gently turn it over and wait for the class I would finish it go like this and then I
00:25:35
go what's everybody doing this weekend Oh should I not talk are we not is everyone not done oh so I shouldn't talk
00:25:41
oh shh oh people are still doing it oh literally every other person is still doing it okay sh I just be teacher's
00:25:47
like shut the [ __ ] up I'm like no I know I just didn't know I thought we were all equal I didn't know my intelligence level was through the roof like a
00:25:52
Skyrocket so I did it and then and then I'm like are we can we talk yet that was
00:26:00
so embarrassing the loud turnover was really my signature move okay 7 time 13 you have one second seven times thir no I don't no no no Dana Dana listen Dana
00:26:12
91 we we don't 7 * 13 is 91 of course well we don't go over whoops sometimes brainia acts come in
00:26:24
bunches no our little test we did I wasn't ready for that by the way um sometimes it was only single digit single digit oh but don't quiz me now I was smart in fourth grade I told you I'm
00:26:37
dumb now I always hated 12 I 12 12 was 144 but I always hated 12 time 13 or 12 times 11 that [ __ ] me up the nines have a good trick because they always
00:26:50
add up to nine you know 81 at you know 81 so I was the smallest kid in my class in four third or fourth grade and my best friend was Clint small as Clint in your puss what you sorry it's an x-rated
00:27:03
show Clint kid Clint Ken was my best friend and we were both about the same height and he was a WI a math whiz wait who was the other guy Clem Chen was his
00:27:15
name my oh is he Chinese I suppose so I I don't I don't look at race I just look at I don't see color I don't see names I
00:27:22
don't see numbers I don't see letters yeah but he was Vietnamese I had a Vietnamese kid named
00:27:29
Shen Lawrence and I just saw Shen he came to the show remember how that yeah came backstage I was on a plane once and
00:27:36
Clen Chen walked past me Clen Chen now this sounds made up Shen Lawrence I is real God is my witness it was CLM Chen uh he was one of my best friends
00:27:50
third fourth grade and he he was definitely a really smart kid you know so and we were both tiny yeah yeah I was [ __ ] microscopic and when they did
00:28:00
the they did the uh cast picture the class picture you know yeah it starts with the teensiest and goes up it was me
00:28:08
first then girl girl girl girl girl girl girl now we start the guys and the girls mixing in together talk about a stie
00:28:16
Hawkins dance in junior high and then some start crying someone you know Crimson and Clover was mine crimson and
00:28:23
cl I get adrenalized panic attack and then I go up to a girl was probably two feet taller than me minimum me to C Kathy Davenport you know then he's like
00:28:36
crimson and so humiliating dude listen I can't even stand you get on Tik Tok and they're
00:28:42
like where are my short Kings short King I don't like short King there I said it
00:28:47
you you can't add a word King and think it erases the first word I'm like yeah where's my fat Queens no no you're my you're my plumpy princess
00:28:58
it's a complt you're plumpy princess I'm still processing short Kings I mean short King
00:29:05
summer Dana it's coming back maybe it's over maybe it's pipsqueak winter I don't
00:29:10
know what it is right now in the spring time right now a little early for the summer but uh you know um I don't like
00:29:18
it it's offensive look and 80 80-year-old woman who weighs 70 PBS with a revolver can destroy any human man in about three seconds so this whole idea
00:29:33
like being being 68 and guarding everyone with a sword that was a big deal now it's all about oh in the old days all about what's between the ears mofo I try to say that to people they
00:29:45
don't buy it girls on Tik Tok like I went on a date last night he was he said he was
00:29:51
6'4 he's only 62 but hey short King summer and then he only made 400 Grand which is fine but you know what everyone's not a millionaire he's [ __ ] scratching and scraping so we
00:30:02
went to dinner and I was like oh he picked up the menu I was like he picks it up like a girl but whatever
00:30:08
anyway these are like girls reviewing their dates on Tik Tok well why is this phrase exists we haven't planned this okay funny is money tall is is there a
00:30:20
thing for tall is no tall just rules the world tall you need nothing else just be
00:30:26
tall that's it um girls are like the Hunt is over actually Marcela marchella Marcel Marcelo Marcelo our buddy from SNL we should have
00:30:38
actually checked in with our correspondent Sarah Sherman is ask about Morgan Wallen but um we're still talking
00:30:43
about that but Marcelo had a good bit about that I saw him at the comedy store actually did a set we did a set about a
00:30:49
week ago he was funny was it about being tall or short he does thing he's not that tall and he uh he uh he talks about
00:30:57
it you know he's funny funny kid he had good let me just couple couple things Al
00:31:04
Pacino like if you watch alucino great ass oh yeah what are you gonna do where you gonna go you don't know what are you say I like I like the
00:31:17
quiet yeah what you gonna do M what you gonna say well I'm doing so a little bit
00:31:22
of Scarface but with him hya hoah great ass I'll take a flamethrower that you got me what was that one in Son of a woman I don't know
00:31:34
where I heard it I'll take a flamethrower to this place flamethrower to his ass he took it to of the girl's ass I'll
00:31:41
take a flamethrower to your ass well you're our greatest movie star look at Godfather want to and on and on and on and on in recent things that he's done biopics and stuff but they didn't want
00:31:54
him and for The Godfather say five five okay that means he's probably 5'4 so which is five go ahead and Marcelo has this and marcelo's not he's fine he's
00:32:06
proba you know whatever he is with his hair he's 61 yeah no but he's a personality of Pacino you never think
00:32:13
about or talk about it same thing with Dustin Hoffman it's not an issue you just Tommy Cruz is 311 Tom if Tom Cruz and I were
00:32:25
Barefoot and looking at each other guess I don't think he's as tall as you no no way no way but D Dana is taller than you think uh no every time I see
00:32:38
you I think you're I I go you're taller than I think H I tell you what posture man posture no I also think you slump
00:32:45
anyway I slump but my point is uh Tom Cruz who's a at this point let's face it a freak as far as a filmm he's getting there he's going to be a bonified movie star one more hit he's in the Frink
00:32:58
level uh of uh of our movie star so anyway all I'm saying is whatever I will tell you that to wrap it all up in a tidy boow Morgan Wallen my
00:33:10
humble opinion was hot take he just had to get out of there like I again we exp explaining the the good nights I think he says good night they sure everybody and he waves then he hugs Mikey Madison
00:33:24
and says hey great time take it easy I got a boogie and he split I think to go to another
00:33:30
road gig and he had a private jet and he but I think everyone took more offense than it was if it was a regular some of
00:33:37
those good nights could have cut off by them I don't think he's trying to be no the only thing he did was but I guess
00:33:44
bother people some he instagramed or whatever he did yeah get me to God's country and he had a private jet
00:33:51
there where's God's country again I don't know it is it ain't in Manhattan apparently by the way it was such a
00:33:57
story story that he has merch now no joke that says get me to God's country I know did you know that Heather mhm we
00:34:04
can pull it up if you want but I think it's in the shape if I have a Keen Eye of the cers logo old cers right
00:34:12
font okay yeah uh but let's get to some let's get to some hot H [ __ ] stories let's do it we did it we we don't know these stories we're going to try to figure it out M Oh Katie Perry says
00:34:25
she's going to put the ass in astronaut and a wife wild interview ahead of the all okay Dana I have a good question
00:34:30
about this because I read about this you know that all these females are going to space right right and there's
00:34:37
there's probably six okay okay so there's Lauren Sanchez we know Katy Perry Gail kangan three I think astronaut maybe it's just all actual astronauts so they go into space so I'm
00:34:50
reading the story I've heard about the story for a couple weeks the training the whatever mhm how many days do you
00:34:57
think they up there um there my guess was 10 days oh no I mean this is blue origin this is this toy this it's more like a toy compared to SpaceX uh They Are Up In
00:35:10
Space for maybe three to four minutes 11 minutes Dan it don't undercut and you should guess really high and then I give you the [ __ ] news and then you go holy [ __ ] I know I blew it let's let's
00:35:23
rewind my God three to four minutes rewind that's a space trip I'm like you could just go on the World Trade Center in Stand bad example you could go to
00:35:34
the Statue of Liberty and stand on the top what else is tall and just say I'm almost as high as they're going to be so I thought they went to [ __ ] the moon or something I I'm honestly so
00:35:46
stupid Heather what did you think no idea no idea well you're you're training you're going to face it's this big a deal how about this is an afterthought you go oh you guys yesterday was fun we
00:35:57
got to go up in that thing we kind of buzzed around right for 11 minutes and came back it there there's no is that
00:36:04
what people are paying 250 Grand a yeah you go you go past the Thin Blue Blue Line of our atmosphere and you get into space and then your waight lless for a little bit and you're looking down that's where William Shatner came off as
00:36:17
a billy Shatner poet I it's can't believe I went into space Spade is shocked I will say that it sound listen it's definitely
00:36:28
interesting I think it was it's hyped up a little more of a big deal than it might be it's definitely cool it's yeah
00:36:34
I'm sure I mean it's blown people's minds if I but you have to learn how to float and learn how to do this and train
00:36:40
underwater I thought they were doing all that stuff William sh1 you know so I think people can do it I just think they're gonna have to account for Lauren Sanchez her you know
00:36:54
the weightiness of her excuse me um continue go ahead I'm not going to say it inching
00:37:01
out of your lane hitting the double lines here we go now I'm centered well no it's I think it's I think it's an incredible thing it's just not SpaceX you know they're not going to
00:37:14
the space St that's what I thought they were doing I thought they're going the space go around the world in SpaceX you
00:37:19
know okay how about this Dana what's the belt or the name I will know if you say
00:37:25
it where they're saying you can't I've heard of a Ryan's belt is that the one where you can't get through it without
00:37:31
burning up and they're saying that's why constellation you if you're looking up at the night sky and you see something looks like a belt I'm out of my Lane right
00:37:42
now what what's or Orion's belt loop then is that something else that's the belt goes through it I'm kidding but uh I'm saying that
00:37:53
there's firmament oh I don't know all these words there's something where there's saying if the people that say we
00:37:58
didn't go to the moon say we can't get through something cuz you burn up so we can only go up and come down up and come
00:38:04
down we can't go all the way is that something it'll be in the [ __ ] comments I'll tell you that well it's
00:38:09
it's one it's probably besides the takeoff coming through the atmosphere is is a very hazardous time you have to
00:38:16
really it's a little hot and humid 3,000 million degrees you don't want to be Colonel Sanders wet dream Crisp that's not bad not bad I like that
00:38:30
thanks uh I get lucky once in a while One More Story where I absolutely have no [Music]
00:38:42
knowledge uh in other news related to this a Mr Lex Luther gave a statement saying it was he the guy in the was mine all mine yeah a Mr Lex Luther of belg
00:38:54
gradia uh claimed uh ownership you know I just ran into Rachel brahan and she is
00:39:00
doing the new Superman movie I hope it's not up against marvelous boys yeah she plays loest Lane she plays marvelous she's great loest Lane well wait a minute you're you're not going to
00:39:13
go up against Superman because it actually I don't know if the movie's going to be good but the trailer was
00:39:20
fantastic because he's lying down in the ice and he's really distressed he's been
00:39:25
hurt and he does this whistle and then you see this coming at you and it's super dog from the cartoon so as a baby boomer he's got a cape on and super doog is gonna drag him to safety so I
00:39:38
was already gonna buy a ticket just to see superg I we'll see that but you also get Rachel and and Rachel Rachel M I
00:39:46
heard super dog says Superman goes superg he will poop on you it's like Triumph Triumph the insult the comic insult dog
00:39:59
yeah is actually super do you think he auditioned for super dog and didn't get it cuz they go there is you're too
00:40:07
dirty there is ice here for you to poop on Superman yeah that's it he is actually the bad guy in the movie I will tell you one thing they might skip and Rachel's great Superman's great
00:40:21
I like these I think I saw Superman versus well I like that whoever man and they fight and I don't like when they fight and the fight scene is a half hour
00:40:34
the truth is if you can't kill Superman you have absolutely no kryptonite on you none in sight they just keep punching
00:40:40
him he smashes building he slides down flies back why do we need a half hour fight for two people that can't die I
00:40:47
mean it's fun but let's keep it tight I've seen it in the Marvel one it's the Hulk versus Mothra or something neither
00:40:54
neither entity can get hurt e all entity can take pment and recover in a tenth of a second and it goes on for 45 minutes they
00:41:05
exactly thank you limp away like you know see yeah not one Band-Aid not one arms sling nothing it's just like and they're never like I'm still Jarred from that fight I had two days
00:41:19
ago no I'll tell you what though I I assume the plot of Superman and the sensibility is top secret but they've
00:41:25
been trying to hatch this for decad because the original Superman with Christopher Reeves is a masterpiece
00:41:30
Richard Donner directed it you had Brando since then no s mean Batman went into dark reality like Christopher Nolan made it seem like fell down a cave this is why he's this crazy Batman Superman
00:41:44
is a goodie two shoes so what where do you go with that so I'm be curious if they unlock the key to make a great
00:41:52
Superman movie in 2025 there I said it I heard that this is probably not true but
00:41:57
Superman does a collab with Bonnie Blue and they and watches her screw a thousand guys is that
00:42:04
true and he actually has sex with 2,000 Med B he tries to beat her because she's
00:42:10
the bad guy he says I could beat that sex record I'll tell you what they should start on cryp Krypton start on the main Planet like they did and and what's her name Betty blue should be B
00:42:23
Bonnie Blue should be and that's why they want to explode the planet because they're so outraged by her activity oh
00:42:29
or the or the bad guys are super horny and they and they enlist Bonnie Blue and the other girl to go have sex with
00:42:35
everybody to wear them out little bit well Superman can just so Superman can think for a second and figure out what to do and Krypton the people of Crypton
00:42:43
who live in a a place called and also create Kryptonite but they live on the Planet Krypton they also can have they
00:42:51
have sex for sometimes a million years at a time oh whoa whoa whoa well that's is that too much that's too because
00:42:58
these girls can do it for a day and then they're like in the ER but it's worth it they get the clicks but if there are
00:43:03
some bad guys from horn dog City or something that come down and listen I don't have it all mapped out yet my head but well I'll talk to I'll just say it to the audience David and I had a casual
00:43:15
story meeting at Warner Brothers and we pitch these ideas we're saying them clumsily now but um we never got a call
00:43:23
back we never I think you know what I hate what if this plot is in Superman and we're like they
00:43:30
obviously stole it from us from that meeting well the one thing in the first Superman Ned batty who was in deliver hilarious he played Hackman and Jean
00:43:41
Hackman he played Jee Hackman as Lex he played kind of the dunce comic idiot character well what do you want to do Mr
00:43:48
Luther I want you to and get out of here so that if they could bring back that character you know and then Jean Hackman was trying name he was going to have an earthquake and then California would be
00:44:01
renamed all these cities named after Lutherville or something yeah Lutherville Luther Luther everything
00:44:07
Luther everything Jean Hackman was great and everything ever done and I would say GRE caner not being funny here could
00:44:14
play Perry white extremely well Greg caner as Perry white he the boss of the daily boss now get out of here now get me that get you you know who is it JK
00:44:25
Dobbins or JK ring I don't know JK yeah JK simm Simmons yeah that might be in um Spider-Man you got to get yours Jesus
00:44:38
we're gonna turn off the comments people are gonna just go nuts okay that's next story we really did a good one with that
00:44:43
one that was a good one that was good seriously oh this is I don't know if this is real this is underneath the
00:44:50
pyramids that we talked about the pyramids last week what let's see if this is fake or not univers today
00:44:55
someone has finally made their way down the shafts that were found under I like the first comment clutch your pearls
00:45:00
girls because now you're telling me that as of today doctor and archaeologist Remy I don't I'm not going to say his
00:45:06
last name because I don't want to be disrespectful to the Egyptian culture is the first human being make the bottom of
00:45:11
the shaft underneath the pyramid and has reported back what he found in the chamber at the bottom and it is
00:45:17
mind-blowing now like always take what you will leave what you looks a little fake I have purposely not talked about
00:45:23
this topic yet because I like to have my you jump out like talking about the uh pyramids I like that if the pyramid is just the top of the
00:45:34
iceberg pyramid's pretty big anyway Dana have you seen them well let me ask you a question and Heather can look it up do
00:45:41
they really know for a fact how that many thousand years ago they made the pyramids is that documentable or they
00:45:53
kind of have theories of moving you're saying the we all have heard our whole lives is that they built them in some crazy way where they rolled the stones or they did something each thousands
00:46:06
slaves and yeah we can't even do it now and that we've got yeah cranes and like I'm way stronger than like a normal person back then he said what is it you're saying a
00:46:19
we don't have a complete picture of exactly how the pyramids were built archaeologists and historians believe
00:46:26
combination of ramps oh combination of ramps this what historians believe even AI doesn't know but they can't prove it
00:46:34
yeah no no no knows not provable so I say it's either uh some Supernatural leap by human beings in Egypt or Egypt alien intervention I I think it's aliens
00:46:48
I think it's alien intervention because that's way more fun let's get Dr Greer on here and by the way we're not that
00:46:54
crazy when we think the aliens are real I think people are finally like I think they are I mean look at the 5 million drones that are unexplainable you go
00:47:01
some are explainable but something's going on out there well yeah we should get career I saw another guy Jeremy
00:47:08
Corbell I met him at the airport he's like UFO guy yeah he's a UFO YouTuber and uh he said I said what about Giza because I just heard that day I'm
00:47:19
like so we could always have him on what about Giza I'm like [ __ ] Giza dude well that's like the Super Bowl for these guys they find out something new they're like holy [ __ ] it's all gonna it's all going to come out or not we we
00:47:33
have theories and then they're provable Einstein just when he was like probably seven years old you know but probably
00:47:40
his first words he hasn't spoken yet Albert Albert would you like some milk and his first words he ever said was black
00:47:53
holeio that was it um and then on we've proven that they're real Einstein had theories of Relativity theories about gravity and SpaceTime now
00:48:08
we can prove them with our telescopes and so are those real do they all because I like the the term Theory I
00:48:14
didn't even connect that were and then that was proven the time space and they it was proven that if you go on a
00:48:20
spaceship the speed of light out go into outer space come back to earth you're the same age everyone is
00:48:27
150 E equals m so squ we can theorize with string theory that there's more than one dimension that we're in right now I mean we have there a Fifth
00:48:38
Dimension Fifth Dimension and they can sing harmony at a rate that no one has ever sorry I still I still can't believe freaking SpaceX is only going as
00:48:50
high as the goddamn Empire State Building with Katy Perry it's really bothering me
00:48:58
um I it's it's kind of I I got to admit I mean when you're sitting there about to take off you know it's just a rocket
00:49:04
full of fuel you also know there's no pilot there's no way out and you're G to go straight up oh I wouldn't do it I but
00:49:12
you would I pay 250 Grand no could you pay me 250 Grand also no what is your price because everyone
00:49:19
has a price I like when people go I don't have a price and they go a million I go
00:49:25
okay million to [ __ ] my pants on national TV I don't think so I would be so scared I'd be like let me out let me
00:49:32
out and they'd be like five four no no let me out three two let me out I'm not joking stop it I'm gonna sue you guys but like we talked about Carol leafer like you got she said even in 2025 if
00:49:45
they do three female Comics like ladies night out you know they true with four men they never go
00:49:52
guys are coming yeah you know but now it's like can you believe four six women could be in a spaceship
00:50:00
all together but the truth is they don't have to do that much but also I think they can handle it ladies with no
00:50:07
gravity is coming to you soon what will they do Katie Perry or they both said they're going to bring their Glam Squad or they want to bring some makeup up there I think they're just saying anything to be funny or like what do you
00:50:20
what are we expected to say because we're killing time in a press junk at about going 100 feet up in the air all
00:50:26
right here what yeah go ahead I'm going to pitch this because it's about you and Theo I'm going to make a couple calls
00:50:34
okay and I'm gonna say it's GNA be good for them it's off the successful Buzz of Buzz boys of the movie the week before
00:50:40
it's released oh David and Theo Von go on Blue origin which is a great standing Little Rocket you go up in your weightless then you open up your shirts and it says bus boys you know whatever
00:50:56
it it is July 5th oh I I think back in the day when the space shuttle used to launch that there was a maybe it was Sandler for water boy they were trying to get an ad
00:51:08
on the side of it I think I'm not even joking I think that's interesting it would have been great yeah uh because
00:51:15
they had a lot of pull back then and that was a big deal SP space shuttle space shuttle still go
00:51:21
up or no I don't know no no they they bombed out and I was on a flight with Buzz Aldren this is not a joke and uh we
00:51:30
I talked to him a lot about being on the moon I said what was you know all that and uh he says you know it's just
00:51:36
science he he had ice in his veins that guy but he was a very cool astronaut but
00:51:41
he was upset about the Space Shell he thought it was way too complicated all we needed was what he called a big dumb
00:51:48
rocket to get stuff into space just a big dumb rocket not this you know what they have but what Elon Musk has done big dumb rocket goes up then comes down
00:52:00
gets caught and can be reused that was the the revolution you know but I I'm from the 60s we were in 2001 there was a Howard Johnson's hotel and restaurant on the
00:52:11
moon we're not even close when was that oh in 20 1968 and that was in that movie
00:52:18
yeah Precious movie civilians could go to the moon and there there's a moon Hotel moon base and it's all cool that I
00:52:25
would like dve I'm not going to the moon it's not these people it's dusty you have to dust every
00:52:32
day CU just Moon dust on everything you're not outside much you're just inside unless you want to go see the
00:52:37
monolith I would go for walks I got to get my steps I grind even if I take one step that means I'm grinding I'm trying to to get my steps each day how many steps rise and
00:52:50
grind 6,000 nope 6,000 I love that joke oh that's good you say I say nope and then I say it they have a
00:53:02
new one that keeps track of your heart rate throughout the day with the steps and your average heart rate if it's if it's 120 not good if it's down in the
00:53:13
70s or something very good as an average they have an app where you can fake the
00:53:18
amount of steps you have and if you're using this to get laid this is embarrassing you're like what's up gals
00:53:24
just checking me apps somebody got 9,200 steps day they're like oh and you're like it's really only 6,400 well here who needs that app who
00:53:39
does that and by the way that app is not selling well as Biden would say and guess what by the way and by the way no
00:53:46
I'm being real here Bushmen out in Tanzania or wherever ancient men and women they walk less than we do all they do is consum serve energy like lions and
00:53:58
stuff and then when they need it they really need it but we have plenty of steps all you have to do is get into a
00:54:04
St a SE seated squat every day for an hour take your calls you a and just squat down and sit there that's the best thing you can do best thing you can do hip mobility I squat against a wall
00:54:19
right well you or if you could do it out in the world you know you just squat like aamb Bushman like that's how people
00:54:25
sit I think uh some Asian people sit like that when they rest you sit down Viet because you're in the rice patties
00:54:32
and so you need to make a chair out of your lower body but is this good for your body you say opens up your spine
00:54:37
it's good for your body would it be good like we're doing it now probably not but if you did it throughout your life young
00:54:43
people understand that Mobility is a huge part there's strength and endurance but there's also mobility
00:54:49
and you got hip joint I'm wound so [ __ ] tight yeah all right on that note on that silly note anyway people don't like me pring and looking at my
00:55:00
hair I can't help but I see this fluff over here well let you guys do a podcast because anyone could do it and by the
00:55:05
way so when you're doing it in this situation you you you're seeing yourself on Staring yourself the whole God here I
00:55:11
am just for the fans here I'm looking at David ha haa here I am checking myself out here I am looking up at you the thing is we don't look directly into the camera CU I'm looking at Dana but if I
00:55:24
look in the camera I look up here which looks more realistic but yeah camera I can't talk to D without looking at him camera David me
00:55:35
Heather Katy Perry on the moon Greg Holtzman Heather rats in my infested Mansion Gail King you got me on that one she's on the
00:55:53
she's on the rocket sh she's on the glorify we're going to do is ask the chat room
00:55:59
they have room for one more woman in American society to go on Blue origin let's nominate that one more woman Merill Street and we will tell them next week who won I'm nominating Merill
00:56:13
street I'm nominating the lion that killed the people because he wasn't having it I like I would I would
00:56:19
nominate Lady Gaga cuz on liftoff she'd be like whatever uh here we go yeah to to to too high James Taylor
00:56:34
ain't it good to know you're on a rocket ship give him a guitar no they'd be mad
00:56:39
because when they're taking off he goes I've seen fire and I was like hey whoa whoa don't sing that now that song's about a plane crash oh please do you not
00:56:51
know that no I thought it was uh Dana wake up it was an addiction Fire and Rain you know no just yesterday morning
00:56:59
they it was his girlfriend got a plan crry just yesterday morning they let me know you were gone geez Louis that's
00:57:04
such a brilliant song now I can't listen sad oh you'll ball your head off um but
00:57:09
I do like nominating someone I want some people to get creative the plans we had
00:57:15
put an end to that uh yeah whatever oh yeah if you listen to it now and everyone will tell me I'm lying in the comments I probably am all right uh okay Dana I got to run so just wait here for
00:57:27
about 20 minutes yeah I'll wrap up the show with Heather and Greg and you uh have a nice
00:57:33
cheeseburger all right oh yeah I'm going on tour where am I going oh Boston and New Jersey is my next weekend okay I'll
00:57:40
tell you more about it later thank you Dana for the people who waited bye this has been a presentation of
00:57:48
Odyssey Superfly is executed produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and
00:57:54
Greg Holzman hope you liked it [Music]