00:00:00
Larry David. >> Larry David was a was a real thrill to get him on our podcast.
00:00:07
>> He was heming and hawing for about two years. Every time I saw him out in the
00:00:10
real world, he's like, "I want to do your podcast." I'm like, "Well, it's
00:00:13
easy. You just do it." But it had to fit in into the show or when it started or
00:00:18
the finale. So, he came in and he was as advertised hilarious fun and laughed at
00:00:25
everything Dana said. to be honest. >> Well, it was just sort of this little
00:00:29
social ecosystem between Conan and Bill her and myself of doing oldtimey impressions, you like Jimmy Stewart or
00:00:36
Henry Fonda and stuff like that. And so I started off on those and he Larry laughed harder at
00:00:46
>> he's laughed harder than almost any human I'd seen. I mean, he was drenched
00:00:49
in sweat, red face, and he fell out of his chair. We didn't have video then,
00:00:54
but he know the worst part is we didn't film him. >> So, uh, he was absolutely delightful to
00:01:01
have on the podcast. Just a a sweetheart. And, you know, of course, he's Larry David, but, um, yeah,
00:01:08
>> he loves comedy. And a lot of these brilliant uh, writers and performers,
00:01:13
they love weird old impressions. I mean, they just can't get enough of them. So,
00:01:18
that was >> He was great. He came in with a good attitude. He's not like a chromage and
00:01:22
we laughed and uh I do wish you know people say oh why don't you film these it's sometimes
00:01:28
sometimes people don't want to come into the studio and sometimes they don't want
00:01:31
to be filmed even when they're here so we we go along with them and uh we got a
00:01:35
great show out of them either way. >> Yeah. So that was one one of the uh more
00:01:40
unique and fun ones we've we've done on this podcast. So this one I would listen
00:01:45
to if I were you. >> Yeah. There he is. Always say no. >> It's the best best advice you could give
00:01:57
anyone. >> Never. >> I was just talking to somebody the other day. They they go, "Um,
00:02:02
why did I say yes to this? Why did I say yes?" >> Mhm. >> Everybody goes through that every day.
00:02:07
>> Yeah. >> People cannot say no. It's so impossible. >> Well, if you're turning down a lot, it's
00:02:13
a rhythm thing. No. No. No. >> But at least you're known as someone. How many podcasts do you turn down in a
00:02:20
year? >> 300. >> I I don't want to. >> Over a thousand. >> Over a thousand.
00:02:26
>> I don't want to sound immodest. >> 2,000. >> There is uh Oh, listen. Nancy Reagan had
00:02:35
it right. Just say no. And no one listened. >> Yeah. Completely. >> Mhm.
00:02:40
>> She was right on. >> She was talking about drugs. >> Well, >> can I hear my Reagan? He got his Reagan
00:02:47
in. >> By the way, I'll I'll sit here for an hour and just listen to you.
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>> Well, I like this rhythm. I'll see if you like this rhythm. It's Reagan
00:02:54
dealing with modern enemies, right? >> Who are they? What? Tellah who? Benny
00:02:58
what? What they do, to who? Where? When? How? Why? Well, then we have no choice.
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Fire away with everything we got and then call them and see if they're still
00:03:12
there. There. That was it. I made Larry David laugh. I've got I've got one for
00:03:16
you that if you can do, I would just I would ask you to do it every time I saw you.
00:03:22
>> Okay. >> Um a younger Biden. Not the old Biden. >> A younger Biden with that with that u
00:03:30
Baltimore. >> I don't have one of those. >> That Baltimore accent.
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>> I know. I know. Well, that's very specific. >> You know that accent I'm talking about?
00:03:37
They did it in that uh that series. What was it called? Uh with Kate Winslet. >> Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This
00:03:44
>> something may >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. They had that accent. He's got
00:03:49
some of that, >> right? This never doesn't get a laugh in stand up. And I'll do it over and over
00:03:54
again to the audience. >> No, I'm being serious. >> And I say to the audience, I will keep
00:04:00
doing it until you don't laugh. I'm getting around here. I'm being serious.
00:04:05
So, >> see, you're so lucky that you can do that stuff because >> I don't have jokes. Well, I mean, if if
00:04:11
something you do isn't working, then you just you make them laugh again. You
00:04:16
always have a laugh at your disposal. >> Most standups don't have that laugh at
00:04:20
their disposal. >> It's terrifying to go up and if you don't have a go-to something,
00:04:24
>> right? >> Dana's got great stuff. And also, you can put a 10% joke in an impression and
00:04:28
it's worth 100%. >> And just ride the rhythm. I put on my notes. Stay stay here. Don't be in a
00:04:34
hurry. Stay here. If it says Ross Perau, you're going to do him for or Anthony
00:04:38
>> Fouch president since Calvin [ __ ] doesn't the crowd's like >> Yeah, they freak out.
00:04:44
>> But a young Biden, that's a challenge. >> Yeah, you do FDR. >> We No, no, I'm doing JFK. We don't do
00:04:53
it. My bid on JFK now is that we He needs an AI. Bobby needs an AI. That his His voice will then go to JFK's voice.
00:05:01
>> Oh, Bobby's. Yeah, cuz we all sound like Bobby if we smoke pot in high school be
00:05:05
like >> I can't believe what the pharmaceutical companies are doing, you know,
00:05:11
introducing JFK AI. We uh understand that the pharmaceutical companies are doing I'm just going to do this all
00:05:18
afternoon. >> Oh, come on. I'm I'm, you know, I'm thoroughly entertained. I would have to
00:05:22
finish them to listen to this. Go ahead. >> See if you can say we don't do it
00:05:25
because it's easy. We do it because it's hard. >> We're the right age group.
00:05:30
>> Yeah. Crickets up here. They know. >> Um. Yes. So, >> so you're settled in.
00:05:38
>> You said yes. You're here. Do you need anything? >> I'll open some water here.
00:05:42
>> Mhm. >> We got you some of the high uh fancy water from your writer.
00:05:50
>> Has any human >> How about those people who they want like grape jelly or something?
00:05:57
>> Have you ever seen your writer? I don't know if you do a lot of standup. Have
00:06:00
you ever seen your writer? >> What are you demanding? >> Me neither.
00:06:06
>> I feel like yours is a little below JLo but above Chris Katan. >> Let's see what
00:06:13
>> I've had people in tears coming at me. I'm coming backstage for the gig. We
00:06:17
only have three towels. >> Yeah. I go >> We couldn't find Triscuits.
00:06:22
>> I don't see my writer. I don't Anyway, >> I I don't like to eat anything at all
00:06:27
before I'm I'm going on somewhere. >> Not even a little bit of a bite of
00:06:33
chocolate. >> No, nothing. >> You still do stand up? You go out and do
00:06:36
like an hour? >> No. Uh, last year I did um, you know, I was interviewed >> on stage.
00:06:43
>> On stage? Yeah. >> Ching. One of like these [ __ ] things. >> Yeah. Yeah. Something like this. Yeah.
00:06:50
>> Yeah. That those are the best though because it's not really >> Yeah. That's not stand up. It's not that
00:06:54
hard, >> right? Yeah. >> Oh, yeah. I heard before the pandemic, Julie Louis Trifus, remember her? You
00:06:59
know her. She um >> she was doing interviews. >> Check out the call sheet. You'll
00:07:03
remember. >> She was doing interviews for corporate events. I thought, "Oh man, that's so
00:07:07
nice." 20 minutes with the CEO. >> Um >> she's the question that makes you the
00:07:13
happiest. And what's the question that is annoying for you? I think I have an
00:07:18
idea. I think now the most annoying question is are you going to do another season?
00:07:23
>> GH >> Yeah. >> Oh. >> Well, uh, now that we're here,
00:07:28
>> did you just say yes at the end? Meaning you are. You're not, are you?
00:07:32
>> I I didn't know that your special was named Curb Your Enthusiasm. Is that
00:07:35
true? Your standard special. And then you borrow that. Yeah. You took that in. And was it 2000? Has it been around that
00:07:41
long? >> Yeah. >> Mhm. >> God dang. >> And you've had people on Curb that um
00:07:46
went on to be bigger stars. You actually got him early. >> Yeah. Who? >> I'm I'm asking you.
00:07:56
Me? >> Well, that's exciting. >> No, I do have a curve story for you.
00:08:00
>> Yeah. >> You might have heard it because you were part of it. But
00:08:03
>> Dana, I did this uh young man's show. Uh it was one of the great fun things of
00:08:08
life is to be on a show that's [ __ ] hit show everyone loves, >> right? You know, everyone's sensibility.
00:08:13
Everyone in the future goes, "Oh, I want to do a show like Curb." That's the most
00:08:16
common thing I hear. It's uh 10 times more complicated than they can probably
00:08:20
think. It seems very easy, looks easy. Uh I think the fun part when I did it was the idea was you I don't know if you
00:08:28
remember this, you did so many, but you wanted tickets to Laker Game and you used to work at NBC. So you asked the
00:08:33
president of NBC and they have two sets. This is I think true anyway. So they say
00:08:39
yes, give Larry two tickets. So, you go with Jeff and you you're in the rafters
00:08:45
and then you get the binoculars to see, oh, they have two sets of tickets. And then you go, who's on the floor where we
00:08:50
wanted to be? And he's sitting with me, right? >> And so you're like, that [ __ ]
00:08:54
why is Spade down there >> and why are we up here? I [ __ ] I was on Seinfel. So anyway, we run into you
00:09:00
guys leaving and and the part that I thought was interesting, I didn't even tell Dana this, but uh uh it's like the
00:09:08
way I got the way I remember it was someone comes up to me and you in your I think we have the forum or wherever it
00:09:14
is and I think that's how big of a production is. You have that you have extras. We did some at a real game. I
00:09:20
think we use those uh Endeavor seats or whatever, William Morris. And then so we
00:09:24
were at the real game and then uh afterwards we get a bunch of extras to stay and so we were leaving. So me and
00:09:33
the president of NBC are leaving and and Larry's coming out with Jeff and they
00:09:36
come up to me and they go you're going to run into him. So uh be apologetic.
00:09:41
Something like that. It was just an idea. No lines. And then they I go and what's Larry doing? They go you'll find
00:09:47
out. So then you guys decide what you want to do. Obviously you decide. And so we come in and we have like a five
00:09:52
minute talk where I'm like, "Ah, sorry." Because you're like, "Why would he be
00:09:55
there?" I'm like, "I don't I don't want to be a part of this. Whatever.
00:09:57
Whatever." Then they go cut and then they come back and I go, "This one,
00:10:01
defend yourself." And it's so funny cuz you have 5 seconds. So I'm like, "Well,
00:10:05
whatever happens." And I don't know what you're going to do. And then you're
00:10:08
like, "Why would he be there?" I'm like, "Well, we both were on big shows." And
00:10:11
you're like, "Well, I was on Seville." I go, "Well, listen, we're both top 10
00:10:14
shows. We're both it it's kind of a push." And you're like, "A push? [ __ ]
00:10:18
that just shoot me was the same as so anyway it just makes for a fun real >> fake argument whatever whatever and then
00:10:24
they did like one or two more of different things was a blast David >> it's um
00:10:31
it's very interesting honestly for people to know that because the hard part for Larry is to go in there and uh
00:10:38
decide which is the funniest version what line that that's just so complicated
00:10:41
>> the greatest part I love is when I I can tell that you or the great Richard Lewis
00:10:46
or Jeff Garland You're not sure you're doing a take because you're just talking and you
00:10:51
might use it, you might not. I mean, it's the absolute opposite of a traditional, you know, it's, you know,
00:10:57
Larry Sanders was the first that I had an experience like that. >> I first of all, I would I never would
00:11:01
have done a show if I had to memorize lines. >> Smart. >> It's too hard.
00:11:06
>> It's It's I don't I don't like it. And I'm not really an actor.
00:11:11
>> And you have to be You have to be an actor to memorize lines. I suppose I
00:11:16
could do it, but it wouldn't be fun. Here, I'm kind of making it up as we're
00:11:21
going along. And I don't know. It's just I just laugh my way through 12 seasons.
00:11:28
>> I know that it's infectious to watch. You know, the last 20 years, I don't
00:11:34
think I've ever gone to any kind of meeting about any kind of show where, you know, it's going to be like Curb or
00:11:39
we're thinking like a curb type show. >> Has anyone even landed close to the
00:11:43
sensibility? And what is the secret? You don't have to tell us here. Yeah, you
00:11:47
can cut this part out. Tell us >> if there is like one secret. >> Tell us who's done it poorly first.
00:11:52
>> I I Who's who's doing it? >> I don't even know who's doing it.
00:11:55
>> I The only thing I can think of is Larry Sanders in the '9s had a sense of three
00:11:59
cameras going at all times. 16 mm and Gary say you do this kind of or say something like this, you know.
00:12:06
>> Oh, did they improvise a lot? At least when I was there, but but I don't think
00:12:10
it was quite like yours where like >> you're so improvised. Whatever you have,
00:12:15
it's working. Don't even >> Yeah. >> Hey, are you gonna do another season?
00:12:21
>> Is there anybody you asked to do, Curb, that didn't do it? Like some star that
00:12:24
you wanted? >> I I think there were some people who were just weren't down with the idea of
00:12:30
improvising. >> Yeah. >> Some would like to do the lines. They're
00:12:34
they'd be more comfortable. >> Yeah. More comfortable. >> It's hard to make lines your own. That's
00:12:38
hard when you're doing shows and movies that that's why they sometimes feel
00:12:40
stiff because if you can just play off what's happening at that second and the
00:12:44
attitude that's way more fun. It is hard to do though. >> I mean the worst thing that actors did
00:12:49
on the show is if they would try to be funny. >> Yeah. Or they come and going
00:12:53
>> trying to come up with like funny lines. >> Not no. >> Yeah. The hardest part I've seen even on
00:12:59
like for Adam and Sandler on those movies is a lot of people that come on that have never worked with them first
00:13:05
of all proclaim their funniness which is always a red flag and then they come up
00:13:09
and say I had some ideas for the scene and it's it for you to be the creator
00:13:14
and they and you can't blame anyone else and you have to say no. So when they
00:13:19
come to you and go Larry I thought I'd play it more I got a guy that talks like
00:13:22
this and you got to go a [ __ ] Can you just don't do that? It's a hard position
00:13:25
to be in. No, it's very easy. >> Okay. >> I was trying to help you a little bit.
00:13:32
>> It's not hard at all. No, that's that's not good. Don't do that. Okay.
00:13:36
>> I've got two killed >> and they would slink away and go, "Fuck
00:13:40
this." >> Sometimes Sometimes at auditions, um, actors would would try and cry.
00:13:47
>> I go, "Oh, God, no. Stop. No. No." >> Oh, man. And I the two metrics now never
00:13:56
have a line that's written that someone has to say >> and don't anybody ever be caught trying
00:14:02
to be funny >> unless the character is trying to be funny. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That's different. But none of that
00:14:08
winking. It's a real Rubicon. You can really feel it in sitcoms when it's just
00:14:12
pushed. >> I like good. I'm just saying I'm a fan. >> The stuff that's played like in a wide
00:14:17
shot is always good. >> Sometimes you get on a movie and they go we D and I talk about this. get you get
00:14:22
too locked into two shot, one shot, pushing, pushing and you're losing all the momentum and all the fun of it and
00:14:27
it looks too stiff back, forth, back. Sometimes it's nice those old Woody Allens or whatever. Even Tarantino in a
00:14:33
wide shot, just two people talking looks real. You've got to figure out where to
00:14:37
look instead of going look here, look there. We got it. We got it. We we we've
00:14:40
seen it. >> The Woody Allen thing is a little scary >> cuz I did I did
00:14:45
>> Oh, you did a couple. >> What was the name of that movie? >> It's called a couple Dana.
00:14:48
>> Yeah. What? What? Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Anyway, I did one >> once upon He doesn't remember.
00:14:56
>> And you know, because he does these take you got to get it all in one. >> Mhm.
00:15:02
>> And the whole take I'm going I got four more lines to go. >> I'm not comfortable at all because I h
00:15:09
You can't make a mistake. There's no cutting. >> Yeah. Um, after my first take, the first
00:15:15
day of filming, after the first take, he comes up to me and he goes, >> "Not terrible."
00:15:22
>> And now I use that every time somebody asks me how Yeah. How you doing? I go,
00:15:26
"Not terrible." >> Yeah, >> that's good. >> Medium place to be.
00:15:30
>> Robert Mitchum told me that the guy who played Tarzan because Robert Mitchum was a guest host.
00:15:37
He was the host at SNL. I go, "Hey, how you doing today?" He goes, "Worse.
00:15:41
I go I go worse. Why do you say worst? I think it was Lex Bar, some guy who played Tarzan. He came out of his
00:15:48
trailer and said, "I feel great." And then did a header, you know? So, ever
00:15:52
since then, he just says worse. >> That's I love that. >> Oh, you did tough guys. Is that the one?
00:16:01
>> I did so much [ __ ] I was so bad. It's I have a hall of fame. So bad.
00:16:05
>> I can't say lines 175 times between all the takes >> and all the close-ups. And by 4:00 in
00:16:11
the afternoon, you first said the lines at 7:00 a.m. and by 5:00 it's not even
00:16:15
English >> going in tight on Dana. >> You guys got some uh heads of hair on
00:16:19
you, the two of you. You know, >> best hair money combined. >> When did you know did you ever think
00:16:24
like, "Oh, I'm going to have all of my hair for the rest of my life." Did that
00:16:29
Did that thought occur to you at some point? >> Um yes. Um I had a pretty good head of
00:16:36
hair. First of all, it went way up in these corners that are covered right now when I was in my 20s. So, I went to a
00:16:42
barber. He goes, "It's you're going to be gone by 30." >> What? Really?
00:16:46
>> Yeah. Barber guy, I used to saw it going back. It goes, "But it went back and
00:16:49
then it stopped." >> Wow. Very rare. >> And then >> Yeah.
00:16:53
>> And then I do take a little finest ride. >> What's that? >> I'm sorry.
00:16:57
>> It's stuff that keeps >> What does that do? >> Keeps your hair in your head.
00:17:00
>> Really? >> Yeah. Matthew McCcon does it. All right. All right. Right. Right.
00:17:07
Dude, I grew up I put motor oil everything I could find. I threw in my hair just trying every trick in the
00:17:11
book. It's so horrible. >> Well, let me just explain that because we'll get we'll get letters oldfashioned
00:17:16
parllets. Um, >> dosage matters with any med you take. I this woman, she was trying to do super
00:17:23
vegan and she was amazing. She was 87. I go, you could have some salmon. Oh, no,
00:17:27
I can't. Well, I tried a statin and I had terrible side effects. Would you ever think of taking a lower dose? Ask
00:17:34
your doctor. So she lowered the dose, took her cholesterol, no side effects. So the same thing with finasteride.
00:17:40
People were popping it like candy. Then they had sexual side effects, depression. You just need a little bit
00:17:45
to keep the hair in your head. And it will grow hair. >> You had to give her that advice. What?
00:17:50
The doctor couldn't tell her that. >> She couldn't read the back of the
00:17:52
bottle. >> Doctors are not really Most of them are just high school seniors that have a lab
00:17:59
coat on. They don't know anything. Most of them. They're terrible. >> I mean, right. I mean, do you
00:18:05
>> what? Doctors? >> Yeah. >> I still have great faith in them.
00:18:08
>> Yeah. Yeah. Dana. >> Interesting. >> Yeah. >> I look at you all.
00:18:12
>> They're doctors, Dana. Doctors. >> I know. I used to bow down. We were
00:18:15
talking about the to a contractor or a landscape architect. We'll put a big tree right in the middle of the grass.
00:18:20
Why? Well, you need it. No, you don't. >> Well, you know, you can never have a
00:18:24
doctor as a friend because you lose all con because you see, they're so human.
00:18:28
How could you? Right. You don't. You're kind of stupid actually in life. Well,
00:18:32
you can read the same stuff they're reading. You can read NA NIH. You can read Harvard, whatever. You can read
00:18:38
everything the doctors can. Why are you reading that? >> I do. I do. >> You do?
00:18:43
>> A lot. If I have an issue of something, yeah, I'll look it up. I >> don't you ever research stuff?
00:18:48
>> I don't want to read anything medical. It'll just scare me. >> I never I never look at anything
00:18:53
medical. >> When you do you get this when you talk about everything jokey except for
00:18:59
what's wrong with you? Like they come in, how's it going? What's been going
00:19:02
on? Have you been on the road? I'm like, I've been sitting in here for 49 minutes
00:19:06
waiting and I know I've got a six-minute window with you. Like, let's get to the
00:19:09
stuff. And then, uh, they last second. Oh, right. Bend over and stick a finger in your ass. Okay. Sorry, I almost
00:19:14
forgot that part. >> Did you ever do a prostate exam joke? >> No. >> Yes.
00:19:20
>> I didn't think you would. >> Oh, I thought you were talking to me.
00:19:22
>> Oh, yeah. >> The cheesiest one that always gets I don't do I've never done one. I never
00:19:27
written one, but what? The one that made me laugh the most was, "Look, ma, no
00:19:30
hands." >> Yeah. >> I mean, that that's a stock joke. It wasn't mine.
00:19:37
>> Yeah. No, the the the joke that you try to bury into real life is when I was
00:19:41
playing the Mirage. I go, "David Copperfield was in the steam room. I I milked out so long." And they go, "He
00:19:46
was in the steam room?" And I go, "Yeah." And he's sitting next to me, but
00:19:50
his towel slid off. He was just sitting there weird. And he goes, "Hey, I" He
00:19:54
goes, "Uh" I go, "Can you do magic now that you have nothing here?" And he
00:19:58
goes, "Yeah." And I go, "It's not real." And he goes, "All right, quickly." He
00:20:02
goes, "Uh, get up." He gets behind me and he goes, "All right, do you feel my
00:20:07
thumb in your ass?" And I go, "Yeah." And he goes, "Tada."
00:20:13
Reaches around me. So, >> it was sort of magic. That's funny. >> That's funny. Did Did you ever um do a
00:20:22
Hitler joke? You do a lot of Hitler jokes. I'm not talking about the editorial, but just because everyone has
00:20:27
a Hitler joke. What's your best Hitler joke? >> I did uh I used to do one in in standup.
00:20:32
Um it had to do with about Hitler going to a magic show. >> That's already funny.
00:20:41
>> Anything Hitler does. >> And he goes backstage after >> Mhm.
00:20:45
>> and he's very insistent on on finding out where the rabbit is. And you know,
00:20:52
magicians have magicians have a code. They they don't they can't tell how the
00:20:57
tricks are done, right? And Hitler's going, "Where's the rabbit? I'm very
00:21:00
curious. Where's the rabbit?" >> And he goes, "Well, my fur, you know, we
00:21:04
we not really allowed to. It's a code amongst me." Yes. Yes. Yes. But where is
00:21:09
the rabbit? It was something like that. Yeah. I forgot the rest of it. >> Where was it?
00:21:16
>> Did you do that in the 99 special? >> I did. Yes, I remembered it.
00:21:19
>> Yeah. >> Mhm. Do you have a Hitler joke? >> Uh, you know, >> write one.
00:21:25
>> I don't think I have one because Oh, you know, I did have a book when I did my
00:21:29
first book. Oh, a couple people remember. Thank you. Um, is it was I used a picture of me when I was 5 years
00:21:35
old. My mom had me in a little blue suit with white hair down to here and it was
00:21:39
a weird shot down on me in front of my old apartments and I'm just standing so
00:21:44
stiffly that I said, "What if we called the book Mr. Hitler? We'll see you now."
00:21:49
because I was like a 5-year-old kid, looked like a little >> uh Aryan. And um it got universally no.
00:21:56
So uh and I'm kind of glad because I sort of skim over stuff. I'm from Arizona. We were never into religion. We
00:22:02
were never into many things that could be very offensive. >> And so we joked about everything,
00:22:08
racism, all this. So sometimes I would stumble in my act and say things too far and someone would pull me aside and say,
00:22:13
"I wouldn't say that anymore." and I wouldn't know how deep these things went
00:22:17
or hit and I'd be like, "Okay." So, it took me a while. Even on that one was a
00:22:21
little late in the game. But, uh, to even say I should do that, but >> Hitler gets thrown around and it just it
00:22:28
offends too many people. I'm not Jewish. >> I did a Hitler bit. I was doing a
00:22:31
benefit for Cedar Sinai cardiology department and I did a Hitler bit. A guy would actually put a stent my chest go,
00:22:38
do you know where you are? You know, and I do you want to hear it? >> Yeah. Go. It's not a bit, it's an
00:22:42
observation cuz I thought I don't have any original observation about Hitler
00:22:46
and then I thought of one and I want you to tell me you've never heard it before
00:22:50
>> hopefully or you've heard it before. All we do is see Hitler throughout history
00:22:55
history screaming. We never see him talking normal. He m we do this for a living. He must be
00:23:04
exhausted backstage. Just wiped out almost effite. Oh, himla. I can't feel my deltoid. Whoever said to do this,
00:23:12
shoot him. >> He gets off stage and goes to the heads of the green room. And he's like, they
00:23:16
were good. >> They were pretty good. He's >> exhausted. Hitler langangerous ging off.
00:23:22
Yeah, that's great. >> Don't fat shame yourself. I have a cookie. I eat it. I put the plate down.
00:23:27
You have a good cookie. Your brain throws a party. You have a 100 cookies. So, he breaks down, you know, addiction
00:23:33
to carbohydrates. >> That's funny. >> Okay. >> Hitler's green room. What's on his
00:23:36
writer? Mhm. >> All right. >> Mhm. >> I look at my notes. There's literally no
00:23:40
notes to ask anything. It's too Go ahead, Dana. >> Whatever you got. >> Well, I know this will make you happy.
00:23:45
Um, Jaylen Bronson. Brunson. >> Yeah. >> New York Knicks. >> Yes. Yes. Right in the throat.
00:23:53
>> Stephen A. Smith and LeBron. Who would win if they went because we we think we
00:23:59
know, but Stephen A. Smith isn't tiny. I mean, I would get snapped in half by
00:24:03
LeBron. >> A Stephen A. Smith would get snapped in half. >> Yeah. LeBron is a beast, man.
00:24:08
>> It's unbelievable. What is he doing? >> I don't know. He's 40 years old. It's
00:24:12
just incredible what he's doing. >> Yeah. >> If I had that money, I think, and he's
00:24:16
already like such a perfect specimen athlete. I don't know what I would do. I
00:24:21
don't know what I would obviously pour it back into trying to stay alive top
00:24:24
100. I look at Brad Pitt and I go, I don't know what's going on, but if something no one's going to get to
00:24:30
regular Brad Pitt, he looks even better now. I'm like, [ __ ] that. That's like
00:24:33
cheating. because he could have been fine skating along and if he did the I don't say he did because mostly just
00:24:40
jealousy and anger but uh if he did something I'm flying to that guy and just saying do whatever you got to do
00:24:47
because someone told me on my comments it looks like I slept on my face and those sting Larry you're supposed to let
00:24:55
him go and uh >> well you look kind of the same like 45 years >> because when did your your hair but when
00:25:01
did it go white >> how old. >> It probably started in my um >> probably in my late 30s.
00:25:10
>> Wow. >> That was a joke. No, but Steve Martin, the same thing. You look He looks kind
00:25:17
of the same. >> I was like 12. >> I'm working on this baby face with
00:25:21
bangs. I'm going to be 17 in a month. >> Hair messy. >> Really? You're going to be 17 in a
00:25:25
month? >> Yes. Thank you, Larry. >> Wow. >> For being surprised.
00:25:29
>> I'm very comment. Isn't that a great compliment when people are surprised and
00:25:32
you tell them your age? >> Yes. Yeah, >> it is. But when you tell them eventually
00:25:37
you say I'm going to be 70 a month, they go, "Oh, >> you're like really
00:25:42
just an O." Yeah, >> you look the words. >> Can I get up? Really? Andy Samberg said,
00:25:48
"You're going to be 70." I go, "Thank you, Andy." >> That's a great compliment.
00:25:52
>> Okay, I have something you may not have heard before. Tell me if you have.
00:25:55
>> Carol Leafer was on our show. >> Okay. and she's talked about you and
00:26:00
Jerry, the dynamic, and she said, "You're John Lennon and and Jerry is Paul McCartney." Have you heard that
00:26:07
before? >> I >> You probably have heard it. >> I I've heard it. It's quite ridiculous,
00:26:11
but I've heard it. Yeah. >> But but then it makes you unpack it a little bit in your brain like, "Well,
00:26:16
wait a minute. How am I Strawberry Fields and he's l of those?" >> Both geniuses.
00:26:20
>> Yeah. >> Not bad. >> Um Yeah. I I I don't I don't I think I
00:26:27
have a feeling our dynamic was um maybe not fraught with the friction that theirs was. So we
00:26:37
>> I asked Paul McCartney about it and he said, "Well, the difference was, you
00:26:40
know, they were doing comedy and we were do we were doing strumming and singing.
00:26:45
So it's a different thing. The analogy doesn't quite fit." You know,
00:26:50
Larry David looks the same for the last 40 years. was like, "Oh, I totally agree." Paul,
00:26:54
>> were you on CBS Radford for a lot? >> Yeah, >> that's right. I think we were there at
00:26:58
the same time, honestly. I think Just Shoot Me, Will, and Grace. >> I think there up until um 98.
00:27:06
>> What was the call sheet? What was the order of the cast? >> Have no idea.
00:27:10
>> Larry, >> never looked at it. >> Tell me. >> You mean the Seinfeld call sheet?
00:27:16
>> Jerry. >> Honest to God, >> I never looked at it once. >> What do you think it was, Dana?
00:27:21
>> I assume it' have to be Jerry. And then we'll keep going. >> I mean, it's a good question. I never
00:27:24
looked at those four in a row. >> I never looked at it. >> Julie Louise Drifus number two.
00:27:30
>> She was probably bigger name, right? >> Um Jason was Julie wasn't in the pilot.
00:27:36
Jason was in the pilot. >> Oh, he might have inched and leaned at the tape and got to number two.
00:27:41
>> Yeah. >> I was not an early adopter. I was being winded and dined by NBC to do the
00:27:47
Letterman slot, Warren Littlefield, and having lunch with him. mean a talk show host.
00:27:52
>> Yeah, they want >> You were going to be You were going to be a host on on television.
00:27:55
>> Yeah, I I know. It seems amazing. >> He'd be great. >> It wouldn't work at all.
00:28:01
>> This is my first degree. >> Well, maybe maybe if you had David as as
00:28:07
the co-host, it might have worked. >> And Andy Richtor. No, but uh but basically, they said, you know, we have
00:28:13
this this new show. I think only four had been made or something. It's called
00:28:17
Seinfeld. We think it might be gonna be really big. And they told me about it and who was in it and I just thought to
00:28:23
myself, "Oh boy, that's not going to happen." >> Bomb. >> That doesn't sound like a winner.
00:28:28
>> Yeah, I I I agree with that. Well, >> whatever I'm involved in, I never
00:28:35
thought would work. So, no, I thought it would be gone very quickly. >> I I had I was just doing it for the
00:28:43
pilot. I would do a pilot, >> get paid for the pilot, >> right? >> And then that was that would be it.
00:28:50
>> Yeah. The chance of pilots going are so slim, especially >> and you're coming off SNL then. Was that
00:28:55
SNL? That's >> SNL was 84 85. >> How'd that go? Oh, swimmingly.
00:29:02
>> Well, you you made up for it. >> It just shows how you just don't know.
00:29:05
You need the right situation or whatever because for you not to do great on that
00:29:10
show and then you go off and do Well, some people do that. They have trouble there and they go off and do great.
00:29:15
>> Um, I didn't really, it didn't really bother me that much. >> I got one sketch on
00:29:22
>> for the not >> for the season. Yeah, >> I got one sketch on.
00:29:29
It's like and it reminded me a bit of a standup in a way when I would I'd be
00:29:34
waiting to go on and then I don't know somebody famous would come in and yeah
00:29:39
>> I'd get bumped and bumped again and >> and I was actually glad I got bumped
00:29:44
because I didn't want to go on anyway. >> I was happy I was happy not to go on and
00:29:50
so I don't know writers made such a big deal about if their sketch was going to be on. I I
00:29:57
didn't really care that much. >> Yeah, >> it it didn't it didn't really bother me.
00:30:02
>> Well, when I was there writing, all I cared about was getting picked up again
00:30:04
for the next year because of just no money. So, I just don't want to look like an [ __ ] And they'd call Gervitz
00:30:09
and Brad Gay and go Lauren would go, "I don't know. We may bring them back." So,
00:30:13
I'd have to get rid of my apartment. >> And every every year I did that. And
00:30:17
then I dra There wasn't Door Dash ladies. It was drag your apartment, you know, your mattress down the stairs, and
00:30:24
then you got to reput your part. My apartment was literally a bed, a desk, anything I could just literally carry.
00:30:31
And then two months later, we'll bring them back. And then I'm like, so I got
00:30:35
to go move back, find an apartment. It's so dumb. But they like to keep you on
00:30:38
the edge of your seat there. >> So you didn't have Lauren. Lauren was not
00:30:41
>> Oh, you didn't have Lauren? >> No, I didn't have Lauren. >> Oh, I was just doing a impression. It
00:30:45
was a 10 out of 10. Unfortunately, you didn't know. >> No, he's hosted twice. I knew you were
00:30:50
doing Lauren. Yeah, >> it was a very subtle, you know. >> No, Dick Dick everol.
00:30:55
>> It's kind of a sporting event someone said about SNL. It's rock and roll. It's
00:30:59
loud. I mean, there are there are subtle Jack Handy used to do his deep thoughts
00:31:03
and there are subtle sketches. >> It's funny, >> but I think I heard that you and Jerry
00:31:08
just said for sure at this point, we're just going to do the show for ourselves.
00:31:11
We're not going to try to project what the network or even the audience will
00:31:14
like. That's what I felt that Seinfeld, you know, Yeah. That's what we did.
00:31:20
>> Yeah. So, >> yeah. But you were >> I remember we went out to dinner very
00:31:25
early on >> and I and I I said I I can't let how are they letting us do this? I was shocked.
00:31:36
>> Were the audiences biting on it though? It was in front of an audience, right?
00:31:39
>> Yeah. >> They were biting. So, you thought, well, something's working here.
00:31:44
seemed like it >> because when we were doing ours, I like to keep comparing like they're the exact
00:31:48
same. When we were doing uh ours or any any sitcom, they would do it and then it
00:31:53
would get a medium laugh and then we liked it all week. The people that we thought were funny to each other and
00:31:59
then they go, "Listen, the um you know, the youth prisoners that they bust in
00:32:03
for the show uh aren't biting on this one, so let's dumb it down a little
00:32:07
bit." And then I go, "Well, let's not wind up with the one that these guys
00:32:10
like because we believed in these jokes." and then they're scrambling and
00:32:14
trying stuff. I'm like then I don't even know what winds up on the show, but you
00:32:17
go you can't do that. Like it's better to have something where you just pick it
00:32:20
and say >> this is our style. This is our vibe like it. >> Well, it was it was new and we've gone
00:32:25
through Cheers, Mary Tyler Moore, MASH, all these brilliant sitcoms, halfhour shows, and all of a sudden there's a
00:32:31
show with a puffy jacket or a soup Nazi. It just was instantly a different sensibility when I saw it.
00:32:38
>> And uh I saw at least 13 of them. I don't know how many I've seen, but um
00:32:45
>> we we didn't even we didn't even know how to write a a sitcom. >> We we'd never done it before.
00:32:53
>> Mhm. >> You didn't have bad. You didn't know how to do a bad one.
00:32:56
>> And there was no um there was no writer's room. >> Mhm. >> Oh, really?
00:33:02
>> Yeah. We didn't have a writer's room. Who wrote? Well, we knew some SNL people
00:33:05
that wrote on there, but was it I heard the idea was people would walk into a cold like freezer room and then it was
00:33:13
you sitting there in a chair in the dark and they would pitch >> and then >> I was always very nice.
00:33:20
>> If you didn't like it, you would hear shame and they'd walk out. But they said
00:33:25
it was they make it more than it is. They probably because they go we'd have
00:33:28
to wait and then we go in and pitch and then Larry would just shake us and they you you're you have a big laugh and so
00:33:35
they loved it if they could make if they could make Larry laugh in the pitch. >> I I I was always very nice to everyone
00:33:42
who came in. >> I could imagine >> you're a good crowd right now. You're
00:33:44
just you're very uh open when I see you out in the world. I don't see that much,
00:33:48
but >> you always seem very loose and friendly and there's no people I think people
00:33:52
think of this Kromagin thing that's like a little >> cuz it's from the show.
00:33:56
>> That's No, that's me. This is this this is the act. >> Yeah.
00:34:05
Do more people talk to you? What do they talk to you about in order? They know you. Is it Seinfeld or is it Curb or is
00:34:10
it something else >> now? >> Yeah. >> Well, now it's Curb.
00:34:14
>> It's just Curb all the time. Curb. Curb. Curb. Seinfeld. Curb. Curb. Seinfeld.
00:34:22
>> Was Jerry ever like Jerry was being sort of a stoic? You know, he doesn't like
00:34:26
people being neurotic and creating problems because I've gotten to know him a little bit. I did comedians and cars
00:34:31
and stuff >> and so then I realized when he is abrupt about that he's really slightly annoyed
00:34:37
that someone would create a problem you know out of nothing. So he would just I'd say I don't know about my act. I
00:34:43
don't how do you write new jokes? Just write them you know he was like you know and at first I was like is this
00:34:51
guy aggressive? >> No just he doesn't like neurotic comedians going I don't want to play
00:34:59
that club. Don't play it. I mean, is he like that with you? I mean, once I understood where he was
00:35:06
coming from, we had him in here and it was I totally got it. He does not like >> problems that don't need to exist. And
00:35:14
he just No. >> Yeah. I like I liked his stance when I said it he doesn't do that many
00:35:20
specials. And I said, "All the comics now, they do a special for an hour and
00:35:24
then they have to throw away the material." And he goes, "Why do they have to throw it away?" I go,
00:35:29
I don't want to throw it. I go, I have stuff it takes so long to sharpen it and
00:35:32
get it to [ __ ] work. And when I go on the road, they want to see a show that works. I don't want to start from
00:35:38
scratch. And he goes, listen, he talks to me like I'm a child. He goes, listen,
00:35:42
don't throw it away. He goes, do the jokes at work. He goes, people think they have too many jokes that work. He
00:35:48
said, when you boil it down, every great comic probably has an hour 15 in their whole career that's just killers. And I
00:35:54
think Leno's like that, too. They just boil down to like get what works and do
00:35:59
it. And if some of them are great jokes, it's like songs. I like that. I like
00:36:04
when someone does something I like. Especially comic, I go, "This is my favorite one. I'm glad they're doing
00:36:07
it." I don't want to see cuz specials get watered down over time and I'm like,
00:36:11
"Ah, another one. What the [ __ ] What do you got left in the >> There's two jokes of Jerry that's still
00:36:16
stick with me that are one was the moose gets lifted out of Alaska and it's up in
00:36:21
the sky and it wakes up and what what does the moose think?" I guess I can fly
00:36:26
now. I just thought that was a great one. And then the eulogy one. You know the eulogy one.
00:36:32
>> What's that one? >> The number one fear of all human beings are is public speaking. So at any
00:36:37
funeral, the person giving the eulogy would rather be in the casket. >> It's a great joke.
00:36:42
>> That's good. >> Yeah. So you had a great partner and he had a great partner.
00:36:45
>> Yeah, we had a we had a great time. >> Yeah. But you'll be remembered for Curb. My
00:36:51
point is this. No, I don't. >> Curb's do an impression. do an impression. Um, you did Bernie Sanders.
00:36:58
>> Yeah. >> Okay. What's your memory of that? I just did Biden. I was like, I don't know.
00:37:04
>> So, the there was a debate in uh 200 the election was 2016. Um, >> and Bernie was running, Hillary was
00:37:15
running. >> Yeah. So there was a debate. >> Mhm. >> And then I think it was probably
00:37:22
I think the debate was 2015. >> Yeah. >> And I had never and so I'm li When
00:37:30
Bernie Sanders started to talk >> Mhm. >> everything he was saying I would repeat.
00:37:35
I don't know if you ever do that >> sometimes. >> All of a sudden be because he sounded so
00:37:40
familiar to me because we're both from Brooklyn, >> right? that I was able in a way to just
00:37:45
tap into, you know, the way he talked. >> Yeah. >> And and he would say something and I
00:37:50
would repeat it. >> And then my then my my agent >> Mhm. >> called me when the debate was over just
00:37:58
to talk about it. Ari Emanuel, he said, "Did you see that?" I said, and I said,
00:38:03
"Of course I saw it. What do you What do you think?" And he goes, "Okay, I'm
00:38:08
calling on Michaels." >> Perfect. Five minutes later, Lauren is on the phone with Ari and
00:38:18
uh that was on a Tuesday and on Saturday I'm doing the show. >> Oh, fun.
00:38:22
>> So, you have the 84 experience, then all of a sudden 2015, you come on, you do
00:38:27
Bernie and it is a smash. I mean, it's like, oh my god, of course, Larry David.
00:38:31
And you killed. >> Must have been fun. >> It was fun. Yeah, >> because everything you said, you got a
00:38:36
laugh. >> Yeah, it was fun. >> Yeah. >> Did you go to the 50th? You went to the
00:38:39
40th. You did a lot in the 40th. I thought >> I was I did Yeah. I was in the I went to
00:38:43
the 40th and I was in the audience and I did some bit in the audience. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:38:49
>> And the 50th I went but I didn't do anything. >> Yeah. >> But I got sick at both of them.
00:38:54
>> Okay. Good. >> The 40th >> given the co in 2015. >> What would you got sick at the 40th?
00:39:02
>> Yeah. And I was doing a play at the time. >> And um I was I had to do the play with
00:39:08
like 102 102 temperature, you know. >> Um cuz you got to go on. >> It's so gross to be like I got to go on.
00:39:17
Yeah. >> And then and then I got sick again at the at the 50th. Got the flu. I think
00:39:22
>> you know something must be there. When I hosted last time I got sick during
00:39:25
dress, the worst [ __ ] anxiety riddle time. In the middle of a sketch they go, "Come on, come on." And I stood up. I
00:39:31
was in like a UPS outfit and I go and then I sat back down on the set and they go, "Come on." The band's like, "You got
00:39:39
90 seconds." And I go, "I don't feel good." And I laid down on the floor and
00:39:45
everyone's like, "What the [ __ ] is going on?" So they walk me to the dressing
00:39:48
room, put me in the bathroom. I lay on the floor and the audience is still there.
00:39:52
>> Wow. So they, it was the last sketch, they just wrapped and they let him out
00:39:57
and then they're pounding on the door going and I hear him going, "If he
00:40:00
doesn't come out, we have, we're going to have to put a rerun on. We got to
00:40:02
tell NBC." And I'm laying on the floor sweating. I got I don't know if I was
00:40:05
food poisoning. Then I started barfing. >> And then I just sat there my UPS uniform
00:40:10
going, "There could be more stress already. You're sick." And everyone,
00:40:14
including Lauren, is behind the door going, "Are we doing this? It's fine if
00:40:18
we're not. We just have to." And so I finally get the door and I go, I mean, I
00:40:22
can try. And then they go, oh, all right, let's pull the rerun. Let's just
00:40:27
try it. And uh, >> wow. >> I started to feel a little better and I got some food in me. And I was like, I
00:40:32
don't know what happened. I got the whammy. And then >> I did a good solid 70% I gave. And uh,
00:40:39
the guy in the UPS sketch, the writer, I could see him in the back going, "Yeah,
00:40:42
you're real [ __ ] hero." Because obviously that sketch got cut because I
00:40:46
don't think I even finished it. >> You know what I mean? The thing about it
00:40:49
when I was doing it and and I was sick >> Mhm. >> and and I remember thinking during the
00:40:55
middle of it I I don't feel sick. I I don't some something. >> Yeah. Your adrenaline maybe or
00:41:00
something. >> That's remarkable. I I felt like Fraser in the 15th round last time I hosted
00:41:05
like really now can I do this? And then the same thing >> just pass the applause, the laughs. I
00:41:12
mean we were hosting was good experiences or was it >> not really? >> Yeah it was. It was okay.
00:41:18
>> What did Did Lauren give you a thumbs up or what did Lauren say to you?
00:41:22
>> Well, they they invited me to to do it again. So, I I guess it wasn't a total
00:41:26
bomb, but I had You know, the the hardest part was having to prepare a monologue.
00:41:33
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> Cuz I hadn't been on in in a long time. >> Expect the world from you.
00:41:37
>> So, I had I had to write a monologue and then do it in different clubs.
00:41:43
>> Oh, you had to go out. Yeah. >> Oh, yeah. That was >> that's a lot of work. Just do Q&A with
00:41:48
the with the with the cast, >> you know. >> Yeah, that's the fake you singing would
00:41:54
have been funny. >> Yeah. >> In a club, they go, "We have a guest
00:41:58
here, Larry Dave." And you walk up. So, dogs are funny. And everyone's like,
00:42:00
"What's he doing?" >> And and then a half hour before the show
00:42:04
at 11:00, >> I was called up to Lauren's office and the sensor was there.
00:42:10
>> Oh. >> And the sensor said uh that I couldn't do this. I couldn't do this bit.
00:42:16
>> Oh, at 11. >> Yeah, at 11:00. >> [ __ ] off. And there two bits they they
00:42:21
didn't want me to do. >> A Come on. >> Oh, please. >> And then
00:42:27
I went >> Well, the other one, whatever. >> You know, I'm not going I'm not going to
00:42:31
I got I'm going to do it. >> You're not going to do it? >> Well, you said you're going to you're
00:42:34
>> So, I said, "No, I'm going to >> Oh, you said you're going to do it."
00:42:37
>> I said, "Yeah, I can't." I said, "I can't. I I have to do it."
00:42:39
>> Well, you have nothing. >> And I go, "Yeah." I go, "Why? Why is it
00:42:42
offensive? I don't get it. Who's gonna be offended by this? Lauren Lauren after
00:42:48
five minutes of this said, "I I I can't I can't do him." But he said like
00:42:56
he said to the sensor, "I don't think you're going to win this one." Yeah.
00:43:00
>> Oh, he said to sensor. >> He said that to the Yeah. >> Um I don't think you're going to win
00:43:05
this one. >> Yeah, that's exactly it. Let's get Larry to make >> like, you know, um you can only take so
00:43:12
much from a Larry David. >> We've wasted Larry's time enough. Let him go down.
00:43:17
>> Check his celebrity net worth and you'll see that he truly is. >> You know, when I when I hosted a great
00:43:23
story about me, >> we can cut this out. >> Oh, we already did. Um no, I had when I
00:43:29
hosted I had it was Sandler was in my trick monologue. I'm only telling this
00:43:35
because it's kind of similar where uh he's the audience member, but he's
00:43:38
playing a goofy guy that he used to do. >> So, he was there that weekend. He goes,
00:43:42
"I'll come and we'll do that. That'll be your monologue so I can worry about the
00:43:45
13 sketches that are about to bomb." >> And so, that morning, Saturday, they
00:43:50
say, Adam goes, "I got a water boy opened that weekend big and he had to fly back to LA." And he goes, "I can't
00:43:55
do it, pal." I was like, "Oh, shit." So, I couldn't cover it because it was his
00:43:59
character. And I'm like, "What's my monologue?" And then we're like, "Okay,
00:44:02
rehearsal." And I'm like and going guys I got to get a monologue at one of the
00:44:05
breaks >> and they go and everyone does just do standup but I hadn't done it for a while
00:44:11
and I had definitely hadn't done a club or anything so there's no practice which
00:44:14
you need a little even when we were at the 50th I just did a set with Chris Rock and Nate Batsi just for fun because
00:44:21
we were out having dinner and they go oh Melany and Steve Martin and Martin Short
00:44:24
were just here doing standup. They all came in, everyone did a set just like everyone bumped. Super fun night. But I
00:44:30
don't get to do that. So I just go, "Oh, I have this one in my act about a polar
00:44:33
bear and about this other one." And then they go, "Just do that." So the only
00:44:36
time I rehearsed it was at dress or right before dress, you know, to try it. But I couldn't really remember it all.
00:44:42
And then I had to sit my dressing and go, "Wow, how does that one go?" So
00:44:45
scary. It went all right. But I know the monologue. It's It's all >> How come you didn't get them on cards?
00:44:51
>> I got it. Oh, because I had to tell cards what to put and I just said just
00:44:55
forget it. Just put monkey joke polar bear. >> Oh, okay. >> And and go to a commercial when I start
00:45:00
[ __ ] crying. >> I don't like standup either. I mean, honestly, if anytime a show was
00:45:05
canceled, I was happy. >> You're happy, right? >> But if I go up and I'm killing, I go,
00:45:08
"Well, this is kind of fun." But I never want to go. And I don't like
00:45:11
>> I'm exactly the same way. >> I never want to be in a de facto comedy
00:45:15
competition. Go to the comedy store, there's 10 comics. I'm gonna try new
00:45:18
stuff. They're doing their a stuff. Lean into it. Ah, you know, >> and I just don't like the people. You
00:45:24
You were one of the best tonight. I mean, what do I need that for? >> I'm just like you.
00:45:28
>> Do you do corporates? Do they they call you to come in? >> Uhuh. >> Oh, they're fun.
00:45:33
>> Somebody's got enough money. >> No, I I I don't get asked.
00:45:36
>> Oh, yeah. I It would be fun. >> Really? I'm going to talk to my people.
00:45:40
>> Have you ever been in in a headlock by another adult male as as an adult? Cuz I
00:45:46
a the CEO was drunk and had me at a corporate event. Can you do the church guy? >> It's funny you should ask me that
00:45:52
because at the um at the 50th >> I I was introduced to Paul McCartney >> and and I said to him, "Has anyone ever
00:46:04
I said to him, "Has anyone ever punched you in the mouth?" >> Instead of, "Hello, we love all your
00:46:11
albums." >> Let me ask you a question. Have you ever been hit in the face with a with a fist?
00:46:14
Has anybody ever punched you? >> That's [ __ ] great. He must have loved
00:46:18
it. >> Oh, wait. We were at dinner. >> What did he say? >> Yeah, the dinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You
00:46:23
were sitting right next to Paul. >> Yeah, >> you were hilarious. He was a good
00:46:26
laugher, too. >> Yeah, >> he was into it. I think he likes having a charmer. I mean, but what did he say
00:46:30
after you said he just started laughing? >> No, he there was an incident. There was
00:46:33
an incident there was an incident in his youth when he was like 13 or 14 and somebody headbutted him. He told me
00:46:40
>> he's he's so charming. There's something on YouTube. You can look it up. But
00:46:44
McCartney's going into a nightclub with people. This is like in with five years
00:46:48
in LA. The the dormman doesn't recognize him and they no you can't go. And then
00:46:53
you hear Paul say we've got to write more songs. We got we better go back to
00:46:58
drawing but we're not big enough. You know we're not famous enough. >> So anyway
00:47:01
>> that was a night I'm going to ask him. >> I was sitting next to Chris Rock and I
00:47:04
came late and I felt embarrassed but uh I was 100% not invited. I was Chris I was meeting for dinner and he goes just
00:47:10
come here and then I realized I was crashing at dinner. He was invited to or something. Whatever. So anyway, I went
00:47:17
and Paul was very nice, whoever threw that thing, just like 10 people. But the funny part was I was sitting just where
00:47:22
I could see kind of between you guys are on the same side as me. So I'm trying to
00:47:26
crank my head between Chris and you and see Paul. Here he goes. And Larry's killing. And then every time Paul gets
00:47:32
to a story where he says something like I told you where he's like, >> you know, yesterday the way I came up
00:47:37
with it was one night when I was dreaming the guy, who had potato skins? Then he leaves and I go and then he's
00:47:42
putting this [ __ ] down. He goes, "Top off your water. Top off." And I'm like,
00:47:45
I'm trying to. And then he goes, I go, it's a quarter inch. We're topped off.
00:47:48
And he's like, I got a little more in there. Then he comes out and I go and he
00:47:51
goes, and that's how I came with yesterday. I go, uh-huh. Then he goes, the last thing John ever said to me,
00:47:55
hey, coconut trip, hot plate. Hot plate. I'm like, god damn, dude. I'm missing
00:47:59
every this thing. I couldn't pay enough to hear Paul McCartney. >> The dichotomy between how humble and
00:48:05
liverini is and the genius of the music. We sat down, you know, for a plunk, you
00:48:10
know, John and I, like looking in the mirror, and that's how we came up with
00:48:14
Abby Road, you know. We just plunked, you know, it's like, what the [ __ ] >> What about What about Lennon? What would
00:48:20
he say? >> What would he say? Well, >> let's see. John Lennon. Yeah. Uh, John
00:48:26
would be more nasal, you know. Co was always one of those. Ringo is more like peace and love. They were me brothers.
00:48:33
They're me brothers. Me brothers. They me brothers. Peace and love. Can you say
00:48:36
anything else? No. for me brothers made it love and polls like this and George is sort of langarious sort of laidback
00:48:44
you know they were the primary song writers for me they were my brothers you know so anyway I'm obsessed with
00:48:53
>> too much I'm just trying to make you laugh because you you came you drove 300 miles
00:48:59
>> that was easy that Kim Kardashian that one. >> Kim Kardashian one.
00:49:08
>> Oh, that's Well, I do John Lennon talking to Paul John from heaven because
00:49:11
I want to hear them talk, you know, and uh you know what happened to the big orange man, you know, well, he's
00:49:17
president again, but he was beat by another man, you know, named Joe Biden, you know, and he goes, wasn't he what
00:49:23
about didn't Kanye West, what happened to him? He went flew away. We don't know what
00:49:29
happened to him, you know. Wasn't he with a woman named Kim Kardashian? What
00:49:33
how's she doing? I'm doing the short version. John knows a couple little
00:49:36
things. >> They talk regularly. >> Couple of pop references. >> Well, you know, she's a nice girl, you
00:49:41
know. Well, how does she make a living? Well, she takes pictures of her bottom. What's so special about her bottom? It's
00:49:48
not a NORMAL BOTTOM. IT'S a bottom 2.0. It's like God made a fanny and attached
00:49:55
a person as an afterthought. The whole family has big bottoms. All of them are doing it. And if they fall on their
00:50:02
backs, they're sort of like turtles. They can't get up again. They have to
00:50:05
have turn wranglers lift them up. You know, the whole family's doing it. One
00:50:10
gentleman got so frustrated he became a woman. So that's that's a truncated
00:50:15
version of it. >> You have a great sense of humor. Can you come back tomorrow?
00:50:18
>> Yeah. >> Well, I love impressions. >> Me, too. If I see someone.
00:50:24
>> Yeah. Bill was on my show and he was >> Oh, he's so >> Oh my god. Just Yeah. Did he do one of
00:50:31
my bits? I think Burton Kirk or Jimmy Stewart. >> No, he gave you credit. He did Bur and
00:50:38
Kirk. Yeah, he g He gave you full credit. >> I know. I know. It was flattering how
00:50:42
much he loves it cuz I think he's absolutely brilliant, you know. But yeah, he loves that Burton Kirk thing.
00:50:47
So >> Uh-huh. I want you. I want you. No. Now take it easy, son. We're just two
00:50:58
men having fun. Don't keep bucking around like that. I only got so much play down there. You keep bucking around
00:51:04
like that. So great. I want you. What are you going to do, cowboy? Come on. I'll take you. I do this for 20
00:51:15
minutes. I once had John Love it throw up in a parking garage cuz I'll do it
00:51:19
for 20 minutes. But >> cuz he was laughing so hard >> because it goes on and on and on and on,
00:51:23
you know. >> [ __ ] >> Do I keep doing bits? >> No, we're doing good. I think maybe we
00:51:28
waste enough of his time. This is my current favorite. Do you want me to do it? >> What? Yeah. Do one more.
00:51:33
>> It's not. This is Jimmy Stewart, which I think Conan, but trying to come up with
00:51:38
a new Jimmy Stewart thing is that someone's going to perform oral sex on him, and he does it as Jimmy Stewart
00:51:43
case. It's not X-rated. >> Okay. I I I know this one, too. >> Yeah. All right. No, no, no. You don't
00:51:50
don't touch it. I What? No. Just Just slow down. Now, I want you to to slowly
00:51:57
turn your head and look away. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Just look away. Now, I want you to forget about it. Pretend you
00:52:04
never saw it. Now, slowly, but ever slowly, turn your head back around and discover it again. That's it. That's the
00:52:14
look I want. Just discover it. You're >> just consider it now slowly, you know.
00:52:20
So, that's that's my latest. >> That's just hilarious. I've never done
00:52:23
this many bits on a show. >> That's so funny. >> Discover it and consider it.
00:52:28
>> Well, I have one where he leaves the house. Now, I'm going to go around the
00:52:30
corner and get a soda pop. And I want you to forget all about it. You never saw it. And I'm going to come back and I
00:52:37
want you to slowly turn and discover it again like it's brand new. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, don't don't don't
00:52:48
touch it. Just just think about it. Now, back the head up again. I know I'm I'm
00:52:52
going to back up and go out in the hallway. >> So I see I'll just go for 20 minutes. Oh
00:52:59
my god. But >> you're the greatest audience with me. >> Well, I love impress.
00:53:03
>> That's a good closer. >> I do, too. >> It should be your closure. That's a
00:53:06
[ __ ] great one. >> I'm I'm going to edit these things together and release it as a special.
00:53:11
>> So funny. Holy cow. >> Anything you need from us, Larry? You do? All right.
00:53:14
>> Oh, no. I'm good. Thank you very much uh for coming here. You're I You're just an
00:53:19
amazing um guest and I don't know what to say other than um >> I did the best I could.
00:53:26
>> You did great. >> Um >> we all didn't want to do this and we all
00:53:29
did it >> and I think I'm proud of us all. >> Did you want to go?
00:53:33
>> Yeah. >> That's all I do with Jerry. >> How many How many podcasts are there?
00:53:40
>> Over three million. >> Over three million now. >> No, honestly.
00:53:43
>> No. No. I think there's three million. Does that seem too low? >> Sounds like a joke. There's 3 million
00:53:49
podcasts in North America. >> I don't know how how does everyone do it? I mean,
00:53:53
>> we Googled it and that was over 3 million. That was about a year ago. So,
00:53:56
it's >> most don't get past 30 episodes. So, they come in and out, you know, but I
00:54:02
don't know how. Greg, here's our producer. How do they >> It seems easy. It's kind of hard to do.
00:54:07
>> Digital space is unlimited that we can all just, you know, >> it feels like the easiest thing in the
00:54:12
world. So, if you're an actor or if you're doing anything in showbiz and
00:54:15
things are slow, you feel like you want to do something, you know, like, well, >> right.
00:54:20
>> And then it's like when people used to watch the Kardashians, they wanted a
00:54:23
reality show. They go, hey, I argue >> I hate my family, too. I yell at them in
00:54:27
the kitchen. I can do this show. >> So, that's what they think. And then
00:54:30
they go to podcast and it's a little trickier and tougher and a lot fizzle, but uh some stick around. It's it's it's
00:54:37
a little bit to it. >> It's a new tech. So, it's sort of like, you know, you do the talk show and you
00:54:42
do the pre-in 2 minutes and they're cutting and so this is just like us hanging out. So, it's this new art form
00:54:49
of like shooting the rehearsal doing halfbaked stuff. We don't have a script.
00:54:53
I had a few questions, >> right? It's good to have a day. >> So, it is fun. Um, it can be fun, you
00:54:58
know, just because of the freedom of it. >> Yeah. And it's great that you're doing
00:55:01
it together. >> Yeah. >> I think Yeah, we we get along really well. >> Yeah. It's easier. And then if someone
00:55:07
else, whoever we got here, one of us knows something about something. And but we let them talk sometimes. We let you
00:55:13
talk a little bit. >> Yeah. I said I said a couple of things. Feel free to cut me out of the whole
00:55:17
thing. >> We don't need too much me. >> Well, I'd say I watched you on Conan and
00:55:21
I noticed this morning just and I said, "Oh god, Larry loves to laugh." You
00:55:25
know, you know, like you you're like maybe the funniest guy, whatever. Let's
00:55:29
just say he's arguably the funniest person to last this generation. arguably
00:55:34
last 300 >> you're in the conversation. >> I was the funniest person. So to make
00:55:38
that guy laugh is just a pleasure. >> You heard the the Conan what podcast?
00:55:44
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And you guys are having such a good time
00:55:46
and I noticed cuz I haven't hung out with you a lot. I just Larry loves to laugh.
00:55:50
>> Yeah. >> You know, and so that's why I just thought I'd do a few things.
00:55:55
>> Um you know. >> All right. By the way, when he did when I did Curb, and this is the last thing
00:55:59
I'll say, >> you had to cut some stuff out and you called me >> cuz very it's very tough to call
00:56:04
someone, tell them you had to cut something. So, he told me and the the funniest part was I said, "Okay, well, I
00:56:10
had a great time and thanks for putting me on there." And it was and then you
00:56:13
felt guilty and you go, "Now I feel bad." And I go, "Well, well, I I
00:56:17
understand it." And they go, "Are you being sarcastic?" I go, "No, I I I know
00:56:20
that these shows go long and we adlib forever and you've got to take some stuff out." and you go, "All right, I'll
00:56:25
try to put it back in." And I go, "No, it's fine." And it turned into another
00:56:29
episode cuz it was just funny to hear you feel bad that you had to call me. But it's hard to tell someone that. And
00:56:34
a lot of people say, "They never even told me." I'm like, "It's hard to tell
00:56:38
people." Just it is what it is. If it gets cut, it gets cut. But that was nice.
00:56:41
>> The people who designed Seinfeld and Kurb would have all that kind of emotions because it's coming from all
00:56:46
this humanism. you're on both sides of the >> That makes sense that you would suddenly
00:56:50
feel bad because if you're a sensitive >> instrument on Seinfeld I this guy I knew
00:56:54
paid a lot of money to be an extra >> um for charity. >> Mhm. >> And
00:57:02
I inadvertently cut him out of the show and he had a party. He was going to have
00:57:06
people over people over his house. Yeah. >> Yeah. So Brad [ __ ] him. All right.
00:57:12
Okay. Thanks. Thanks, bud. Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow
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00:57:48
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