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Bill Mah good friend of uh mine and yours Dana um has a great show a lot of opinions talks about a lot of interesting things and uh one thing on the side note I didn't tell him is a lot
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of times on Twitter they have just Snippets of the show from the night before and so I get to watch little
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chunks if I do miss it and that's kind of a that's kind of a plus because I get to see little snip of like here's what
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he thought about this here's an interview with this so but great time all just bunch of comedians cracking up
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again as usual I like that a a lot of laughs in this one and you know and he talks about his early days a little bit
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stuff like that and we talk about the Golden Globes oh yeah we did get into just just on and um and Bill always has
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something interesting to say and he talks about honesty as sort of his his superpower uh he's very you know he's
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blunt but I I was on his show in the 90s a bunch of times Politically Incorrect I
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haven't been on real time as much but uh we've known him a long time we meaning comedians all know each other from The Improv and Comedy Store go back he's had
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basically the same job since 1993 it's unbelievable I yeah I don't know how much time off but basically it's it's a just a connected thing it's a straight run of a hit show yeah whatever version
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of it but it's all about the same version it's it's bananas and uh he's been up for 40
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Ms that's how we put it 40 em nominations is an achievement in itself yeah crazy that's extraordinary and he talks he was going to be a sitcom actor we talk about that in the 80s and then
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how we how we evolved as a comic and and then we just goof around and do a lot of stuff I did a few Dennis Miller
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Impressions which he loves always a hit always a home run I tried to ask a real question toward the end and he made fun
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of me so remember that he goes who wrote that question I go Bill I'm oh yeah that sounds like a producer and then Greg was turning bright red I could see in the it wasn't
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I was just want to say God you say so much [ __ ] on your show what could they po did they ever
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just say stay away from that because you know a lot of these talk shows are like do not talk about this do not talk about
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that he's got a pretty pretty big leash but there's a couple times certain things got a little controversial you
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guys can look it up spank you can look it up yeah all right well let's let him hear it uh we had a really good time
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with bilar Bill [Music] Mah which one is Jason B you're you're our third this is when
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Club random and and this one goes under this is our podcast let's let's get let's our chemistry together now that
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would be awesome okay we're on because I don't like to waste any of my charm talking to you guys when we're not
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actually on we're recording everything's recorded and this dude I do phoner interviews bill just just part of it but and then they go hey zuk crew and I go okay they go how you been D how you been
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David you got a big show coming up and I go yeah and they go first time in Denver and I go no I've been there they're like
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honk honk and then they go and then after I'm exhausted they go okay we're going to put you on in about 2 minutes we're going to patch you in I know wait
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wait this isn't it what the [ __ ] going on and then you hear them talking about you it's it's very creepy I don't like
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did you you love doing morning radio during your early days right Bill early days yeah very early I haven't done that
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I mean that's one thing I I have on my list of things wait wait I have a list because I'm not I I just did my probably my last standup show impossible that's
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and that no no no that's my special I know is anyone else seeing this on HBO this Friday because we're out Wednesday
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yeah yeah okay so but I you know among the things that I will not miss is the interview with Fartman and [ __ ]
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Jack right Bartman that was uh that was Howard Howard Stern well whatever you know Tommy and the bull there was always a guy and an animal Tommy and the bull
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right I mean David Spade is much more of a warrior than I am I mean he will still do that and do any sort of show anywhere
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I mean he'll do it outside for he's just amazing yeah because my manager's name is Mark geritz yeah mine makes all go I think it's a nice little run Spade likes Money Dana doesn't like
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money well it doesn't make me do it and not making me do it anymore I mean I will miss it and I love it but uh you
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know there's a there's a time it's better to leave a party a little early than a little late I feel um and I that
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that's you know among the things I will not miss it's it's that those talking to I mean some I've done many newspaper
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interviews but who the [ __ ] reads a newspaper anymore uh with people who are actually quite bright and pleasant to
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talk to but the morning Zoo guys no that that's just outrageous what's the main thing they would ask you that was uh would would be annoying or assume something about you the real Bill
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Mah um you know that I have a thing for black women or something like that that's insane well little who doesn't I I I
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love every woman you just it's ridiculous to like say I have some sort of fetish but that they're not
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interested in the things I'm interested in which are you know politics and what's really going on and something
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with a little intellectual nutrition to it they want to talk about stupid [ __ ]
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like that nutrition yeah there you go bill when you get on the phone there's you're going to hear a robot voice that's our sidekick you're going to hear
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a parakeet and then you're going to hear Bobo he's in for Zip Zip he's an animatronic monkey don't be alarmed oh yeah oh I've done it
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all we were just saying that some of these corporate gigs are kind of fun because you go out there they're not
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super fun but they can be okay can be okay I think we all do those and I no no no no you don't do those anymore again may I reiterate You're such more of a warrior than I am you'll do anything uh
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I'll do only I would I yeah I get offered these corporate gigs and I've been I've been there it's true I've been
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I've been there enough to know what the problem is here there there's corporations right and they have a
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corporate mentality which I do not okay so right away the premises are not going to please them I'm a pot smoking atheist
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I'm just wrong to begin with for this crowd so if they don't love the premise they're probably not going to like the
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joke now there's some stuff especially in the last 5 10 years when the left has gone off the deep end that I do plenty
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of stuff that will make conservatives left because the left deserves it also now but corporate gigs uh I remember
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when I did a few of them here's the problem somebody on the entertainment committee is my fan so they're like
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let's get bill marah here everybody will love him well everybody won't love him in the company you do and you think
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everybody in the company is so [ __ ] hip they always when I say no oh no our company is different no it's not you
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think your company is different and it's full of a bunch of hip people but it's not it's full of a bunch of insurance
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salesmen and they're going to [ __ ] make my life miserable and there's no amount of money that can make that you
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know when you're this age every day has to be a good day and a day when I'm talking to a bunch of corporate people at noon is not a good day is this true
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bill because I I've been doing corporates for a long time not as many as I used to and that's why they pay you
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so much because they know it's difficult but they did say to you and they didn't say this in a snarky way they go well
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bill was Bill was different and we said bill you know no f-bombs okay and then apparently bill went up there and said how the [ __ ] is everybody doing tonight which I then I I I loved you even more
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because that's what you all want we all want to do but then you know yeah the last the last one I did you know the guy
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from the corporation is the one who introduces you and does an intro and sometimes tries to be funny and my opening line was Jesus Christ that guy was [ __ ]
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terrible because he was and they all laugh because they know it too uh but it's just see you can do it Dana because you you're not doing stuff that's going to offend either side you know you could
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do your Genius well I'm a I'll do just Impressions I me I don't care I'll just be the you know I I would do a corporate
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date that's specific to that you know and even when you do like your brilliant Joe Biden which I loved every week and
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come on far more people today and make more bills and not gonna be able to get my bills
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back where am I what's going on I love you did good Joey go ahead I love when David was on when you were the church lady too that was great to see you guys together we wanted from the beginning we
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thought I thought and David thought it'd be funny if he just played Hunter Biden we don't know why it was just David as
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Hunter Biden and then the opportunity came up and it ended up being not Biden you know Joe Biden with Hunter Biden but it was we got him on there it was great no I was always curious to why they
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never had anyone play Hunter Biden they sort of right it was just sort of ripe for the Pickins I thought maybe a hot
00:09:55
tub talk show where guests and girls in the you know if you want to get into that and I know this we can we can say anything we have editing capability in case any anything
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funny you say but go ahead I pitched a hunter Joe yeah let's let's end a career today shall we no but as far as like uh you
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mentioned like why didn't they do that how about why didn't they make fun of kamala's husband when he got Meed like it's it's it is amazing the way
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this country is so partisan uh including in the media and the entertainment parts
00:10:38
of it that when something happens for your team that's bad it's like you know it's like the angel of death just flying over the house on Passover like we don't see a thing here because you know Doug
00:10:51
mhof was credibly accused of things that other people have been accused of yeah and well that wasn't plastered everywhere it was well it was certainly out there it was out there know I'm saying and and
00:11:04
you know again it was as credible as many other accusations I've heard you know uh but somehow it was just Andy Samberg as oh funny kind of dorky
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dog and it's just wrong you know if you're gonna make fun of people go go both sides don't don't play that game I don't like that I was surprised in many
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ways that you know I was ready when I first did Biden out there I just thought you know because he'd been a hot oven for a long time to what line are you
00:11:39
making fun of Dementia or whatever so what I was ready for a Heckler in the live audience and I was ready to say get your fact straight Jack I had a I had a
00:11:49
comeback just in case but they went for it because I guess he wasn't running anymore but the the rules all changed
00:11:57
after Biden was no longer the nominee they became a lot looser with it so I caught a lucky wave I think well also nobody else really got how to make them
00:12:07
funny and so they had to go they they had to go to the bullpen they had to go to the old school old cast member had to had to bring in uh bring
00:12:20
in the old horse I was like the guy from the 8S is going to come back secretar is
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running yeah but I thought the toys were all there to pick up and by the way and
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guess what the fact of the matter is I thought they were all there and that the the whisper and the yelling yeah guess
00:12:39
what I wrote the Bill because I know how to aride bills but I get no one did them so I I took that's right it was all
00:12:47
there but that's always the case with comedy isn't it when you hear some guy uh or woman do a great joke and you go
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oh yeah that observation was there for me to make right in front of me that's why you don't want to watch comedians right I you don't watch a lot of St because of that correct I assume yeah
00:13:07
yeah it's a busman's holiday and also most of them are not funny enough to make me LOL like you guys do so you know
00:13:15
if if there's no lol in it for me you know I mean it's sometimes it's relevant or it's you know breaking new ground I don't give a [ __ ] about that it's like a you know a record
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review when an album comes out and they like write it's like is the good is the music good do I care that this is
00:13:34
[ __ ] changing music first of all it's not there's so many notes and they're doing it I I just want to feel good okay
00:13:42
I'm just a young man in the 22nd row uh there's nothing like it that's why Sebastian really stood out to me 10 years ago when he came out manasul and
00:13:53
was just [ __ ] funny I mean right no there's lots of funny people out there now uh but there's also a lot of like oh this is really you know emotionally
00:14:05
satisfying okay specials you see and you go is this a stand-up comedy special and it's more like a therapy session or something you
00:14:16
go okay this is different that's what I'm talking about and look this is there are people watching this now saying oh
00:14:22
these three old guys yeah these idiots and our day was so much better you know they don't get it no we get it I get what you're doing it's just we have a different um we were raised at a
00:14:35
different time look I could sugarcoat it but we're tougher and we're not even that [ __ ] tough we're just tougher
00:14:43
than we're not Marines or anything you know we're baby we're Baby Boomers they thought we were soft and weak but
00:14:50
compared to the generation that's came after us and so they like all this like uh stuff that's about emotions and emo and feeling good and sharing and uh you
00:15:01
know feeling safe you know to us it's like could we just have the jokes we just here to have that feel and I don't
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think that's ever going to change I think people really still when they go out to see a comedy show they want their
00:15:15
stomach to hurt at the end of it that's what I've always tried to do yeah you have a the the Jeff Alman came up a
00:15:23
while back I think it was with Leno just where are those guys I mean that just big funny
00:15:29
extroverts just being ridiculous Bruce baby man bomb Bruce BB funny can I tell you a Jeff Alman story for the millions of people who well first explain who Jeff Alman was pink lady and Jeff uh you
00:15:45
you do that I okay a comedian ' 80s 90s on Letterman a lot and he was just a big
00:15:51
funny silly always made me laugh and Fred Silverman who at the time was the biggest mocker in TV I guess was NBC he gave him a show when he was kind of an
00:16:04
unknown comic called pink lady and Jeff and it was Jeff with two young Japanese women who I'm not sure spoke English maybe was the joke I don't know you know what you could do back then with people
00:16:21
of a different ethnicity than you who didn't speak English was unlimited so I it could have but it would lasted like
00:16:27
two shows and that was bad for him and it wasn't really his fault you know he was offered
00:16:33
a prime time show on a major Network at the time when there's only three or four networks yeah it's a big deal yeah it
00:16:39
was a big deal but but okay so here's the story um I was out with him one night I mean this is probably the 90s
00:16:47
when I was out a lot we were young and I don't know we were coming from the Playboy Mansion or something I don't
00:16:53
know we weren't doing that but we were on we were walking with two girls I I don't remember if they were girlfriends or people we just met or I don't know homeless we but we were walking on
00:17:05
Sunset Boulevard I think it was sunset yes we're walking like like long way like like a long way to get to another bar probably I'm sure that's what it was
00:17:17
so at one point for no reason Jeff just breaks out running like as fast as he can ahead of us and that alone was funny and and like
00:17:29
four block four blocks later we're walking along and I look to the side and there's a little doorstep going down toward the door and there he is pretending to be passed out in the door
00:17:43
hell you know just he just the commitment to that to run ahead and wait passed out on the just so that when I came upon him it would get a laugh that was Jeff Alman to
00:17:57
me I'm sure still around if he's listening right now Jeff oh yeah yeah when I started the Improv the board that
00:18:04
chalk board up there was like Bill maybe some Jeff Alman maybe some Belzer uh oh
00:18:10
yeah Leno remember your at the clubs at The Improv Club on Melrose when I first started all these guys were great everybody was funny and I was trying to warm my way in be light of question for
00:18:23
you serious question did you get one of those uh medal of freedoms the other day they were passing out uh yeah I did and
00:18:29
uh I put it with the others I mean I have a draw full but I could always use more yeah um no I I'm
00:18:37
not uh I'm not what they call award bait what' you think of the uh Golden Globes Golden Globes the Golden
00:18:51
Globes uh I think it's an ongoing thing of like how many people have seen the movies uh um oh exactly problem I thought it was a tutorial in
00:19:04
why Trump won the election well but but no really why is that so funny it is because I want to hear I want to hear because no one was really too political there was a couple
00:19:15
like in these troubled times but nothing super overt no but it's just it's first
00:19:21
of all the fact that they have a special award for I don't know what they call it
00:19:27
Blockbuster or it's like office or something movies people like yeah which actually used to be what an award show was movies people like and saw but Danny
00:19:38
you're right I mean so many I watched it as an instructive because I just was familiarized with so many movies and TV shows that I had never heard of or barely heard of some I want to see I
00:19:51
want to see the Jesse I Eisenberg one because I love him and I think he does great stuff and that looks fun and
00:19:57
there's a few other but yeah and it's just like this other world that the you know that the what the right would call the leftist elitists and they're not completely wrong about that that they
00:20:10
live in this world and uh everybody else lives in this other world and you know I
00:20:18
I know during the election the Democrats were like if we can just get Taylor Swift to endorse Joe this will put him
00:20:27
over the top and you know they got every big star and I think it actually hurt because people don't look at these celebrities like oh they're just like us they're not just like you they have no
00:20:39
idea what life is like real life and it a show like this it comes across that way and it just makes people go oh [ __ ]
00:20:48
these people and and their insular World um you know I also yeah I was just the thinking about movie actors and where else do we praise people with that kind
00:21:03
of hyperbole his performance is nothing short of a miracle right really and and everyone is and everyone who like puts on a fake nose is brave you know like
00:21:18
it's a was a brave perform a brave performance is the Battle of fujia okay that was Brave just just ugly yourselfa
00:21:26
Beach was Brave you know ugly yourself up for a movie that's not brave it would be it would be brave if you're going to permanently stay ugly but you're not you know disfigure yourself yeah but I
00:21:40
thought our girl Nikki did great yeah n she did great this is not an easy room and uh she great jokes boys yeah I think
00:21:52
uh I would like to see her do it again because uh she aired correctly on the side of this isn't a roast exactly okay these people slight
00:22:04
caution yeah these are all a bunch of Divas in this room uh you know don't make the mistake
00:22:11
that Joe Coy I think did the year before and you know like don't ever like blame
00:22:17
them they're perfect oh no no you never turn no they're the a-listers I would like to see her do it like again and again because uh I read her uh interview
00:22:29
about it and she said she wanted to be like Tina Fay and Amy polar who did great with it but I want to see her be
00:22:35
Ricky deres but she does not have the stature yet and she's correct in assessing that I told her that you don't
00:22:42
have the stature yet she knows this uh you have to have stature I mean Ricky when he did it he was all he was one of
00:22:49
them he was first of all he had [ __ ] you money he was a big producer he had done lots of you know the office alone made
00:22:56
him very rich highly respected highly respected and just the attitude of I don't give a [ __ ] if you ask me back on
00:23:04
this show or not I'm going to I'm going to take the piss out of you people and he and I'm G to be drunk when I do it
00:23:11
that's what I want to see on the Golden Globes now she's not ready to do that yet and she made the right decision not
00:23:16
to but I'd love to see her do it someday I never get tired of that because I'll click on Ricky D so I get the YouTube
00:23:23
shorts and his speech and I don't know if it was his last one he's got the beer you know nothing you are nothing right
00:23:32
just come up get your little award thank your [ __ ] god or something like that I mean it was so not television uh but I
00:23:40
think it was his last one and I'm interested in celebrity net worth only because of how it would affect the mind
00:23:47
of the performer and if you have a 100 million net you live in a little village in England you're like you know I'm I'm
00:23:54
still dancing for my Donuts you know I don't uh I'd like to feel that one day I like last night when the brutalist guy goes uh brutalist the guy goes uh
00:24:05
brutalist he goes they always he says give directors the Final Cut which fair enough and then he go by the way it's
00:24:11
three and a half hours so he's like they all said it wouldn't be a hit I'm like it's literally made $1 million
00:24:18
worldwide and the people are scratching their heads going I mean it's a hit I mean you won this so this is the
00:24:24
illusion it's the biggest hit in the world I I I only got through the first two two thirds of it what one the
00:24:30
brutalist then it really picks up brutalist I think brutalist took people tell me that wait Dana when I watch this when I watch a show on Netflix and they go the first seven episodes are [ __ ]
00:24:44
right I go what are you still doing there get the [ __ ] out like go ahead D I like land man the the thing that blew me
00:24:51
away you know was Adrien Brody right great actor he's done he's very serious guy super likable like an open wound brilliant actor and then with no
00:25:04
judgment his wife was with Harvey Weinstein and then went to Adrien Brody what that's a pretty big leap that's a different kind of husband well
00:25:16
okay can I defend that no I just explain no no I I mean I talked to Adrien and his his girlfriend I don't know if they're married um Geor is it yes I'm I'm sure she's Lely I would just go she
00:25:29
got a really nice guy now Harvey was tough yeah but she I don't think she knew Harvey was doing what he was doing when she was with him and as soon as she found out she was in a camp so I talked
00:25:42
to them at the Oscar party the Vanity Fair Oscar party I think two years ago H they couldn't have been nicer and it
00:25:50
seemed you know it would seemed like a genuinely uh good relationship so I mean I don't I don't know if there's anything
00:25:56
there there because again explains it that explains it I don't think she nobody nobody was talking
00:26:03
about Harvey onstein until it broke you know I mean I did you know I didn't know
00:26:08
I I mean he was always nice to me as John lber used to say about OJ he was always nice to me I wasn't
00:26:16
thinking so much of the the that is what he used to say by the way he was always nice to me he never slit my throat okay never killed me just
00:26:27
as a type I wasn't thinking so much about the the sexual escapades it's just a type just a cuz we we knew Harvey was
00:26:34
an aggressive kind of bulldog and and Adrian's a sensitive soul from afar um so that's just an interesting dichotomy but neither one of them is like um traditionally
00:26:45
handsome because women are deeper than we are so they go for something yeah thank God didn't Aristotle Onasis that was his first line to a woman was I'm an
00:26:56
ugly man okay okay right that was his first line but yeah but I second line was I'm a rich one this is the USS Aristotle yeah he wasn't that bad I
00:27:09
mean you know Jackie yeah he had well first of all we only got to know him when he was old you know I never knew about him until he married Jackie O right I mean that's what sort of put him
00:27:23
on the put him on the map you know me and I think what he offered her was something she was looking for an island you know hi I'd like yes to hide
00:27:35
from the paparazzi and so forth totally women are more evolved than we are well you also yeah bill I could not agree more were there some of these movies and
00:27:48
TV shows I saw that Challengers was which I saw me too like it I don't know if it was a comedy or musical but I understand it either but I liked it it was I liked it and I think they go it'd
00:28:02
be great to have Zena here I think that's the true with a lot of people that were there a lot of it yeah no
00:28:08
listen is great she was great oh she's great everything but and she should be there now could they just make a
00:28:14
category for Challengers like they did with the box office one well why why is the bear up against
00:28:21
only murders in the building I mean why is Martin Short up against Jeremy Allen White go but go back what won I don't know what won I haven't seen okay good question he usually wins Jeremy Allen no
00:28:34
who what won the best movie the best movie okay what you don't know either what won anything the brutalist didn't the brutalist win the best okay what what is the brutalist
00:28:47
about it's got Jesus Christ grade all the sudden here suddenly the pop quiz from the let me see I'm GNA look it
00:29:01
up a Google guy to do it that's me oh good Dennis Miller's here Billy Mah gotta love Billy Mah you know the perennial teenager thing working out for you you know got the man cave with the
00:29:14
pool table how's that cir Troy donu Motif you know the the youth oh never end no I
00:29:24
love Dennis and he is he's one of the [ __ ] funniest humans Well you certainly are
00:29:31
when you when you parody oh I love doing him and he he improves my vocabulary okay got a little tissue in the back
00:29:38
there in case he gets a little watery eye over that medication he needs every other day at this point that's you in your in your funny impressions all right
00:29:48
I'm going to read you some winners guys oh great okay drama wait musical or comedy motion picture they should have covering their
00:29:58
bases here that must have been Wicked oh no was Amelia Perez it be [ __ ] Wicked ohz won everything Wicked got the best big you know well it's
00:30:10
always a cont commcial film it's always a contest to be which can be the most um
00:30:16
virtue signaling and politically correct which is again why Trump W because people just want entertainment so like
00:30:23
even though Wicked I didn't see Wicked but I know uh someone who's in her 20s and went to see it with someone who's like uh I think her sister or something who's like you know a teenager and the
00:30:36
teenager didn't even like it and thought it was too preachy Wicked yeah Wicked Barbie this year what is it is it well I haven't seen it but that was the report from a 18-year-old girl too preachy and
00:30:51
uh you know it just okay so I don't know maybe it's not maybe what is Amelia perz about ah good question that was my next
00:30:58
question about a woman named Amelia Perez that's the limit of Amelia aart yeah Spanish okay I also was was different man the one you're talking about with Jesse Eisenberg see that one
00:31:12
I I oh okay if that's Jesse's movie then uh I want to see that but I i' not really been familiarized with it and I don't know what that's about yeah you're really nailing these got the sidekick
00:31:24
one of the Cen Brothers won yes he did one of the listen to you Grandpa Karen C guess who knew the culen brothers back in 199 yeah Kieran was my he was like my
00:31:38
shadow when when his brother was hosting is that right yeah because I I saw some
00:31:43
activity with his father and I I knew what was going on and I had the same kind of you're like Michael Jackson
00:31:50
Corner the other one wait wait I'm interested what what was going on I just saw you know my friend and I have this
00:31:57
phrase the phrase of an insecure man a hurting Cowboy so I saw that his dad was a hurting Cowboy he suddenly was yeah was it that his name and I could tell
00:32:09
that was a rough that was a rough Dad to have you know and uh what what is the cowboy meaning a hurting Cowboy insecure an insecure man I've always told anyone
00:32:21
there's nothing more dangerous than a man with alcohol in him who's insecure after midnight right I would
00:32:29
yeah mhm back to the fun stuff guys um let go let's go back all right where that's bill will be happy now Wicked did come through they had a they had to make one up that's cinematic box office
00:32:42
achievement obviously you just look in the paper what made the most money okay right that's all that is yeah yeah uh a
00:32:50
oh Zoe Salon One supporting actress and Emilia PR I saw that and you know I'm sure she's a lovely person but like again the the level to which these
00:33:01
people are seduced by winning a little trophy is something I mean just the speeches well just the overflowing emotion that like oh my God you like me and you gave me this Trophy and they're
00:33:14
just overcome it's just it's very hard to watch I see I couldn't watch a show like this in real time I taped it and
00:33:21
then watched it in the bathtub with the uh clicker I mean with the remote being able to zip through the things that I
00:33:27
just can't take and the things I just can't take are the speeches and also speech the speeches and also the little patter that they give the presenters before they so I had to I just I can't
00:33:40
do it so I I had to go through those and then I got to oh and this this is what the nominees are and it educated me on
00:33:47
all these shows that I will never see close captioning is tough to get through sometimes because I read what they're
00:33:54
saying and I'm like oof what is the brutalist about it's about I told you there's something about the immigrating to America and the
00:34:05
difficulties of that experience just immigration is a big year I mean that right that's a good one
00:34:13
uh another reason why Trump won because these people think unlimited open Porters is what we should be championing and Americans kind of don't agree with that including uh people of color who
00:34:26
voted more for Trump than they ever did for a republican but okay majority of Latino men but for whatever reason yeah
00:34:34
well for whatever majority I mean no but over 50% yeah Democrats are gotta be yeah and
00:34:41
they keep digging their hole bigger because they don't get it that they keep talking about you know oppression and
00:34:47
there is oppression of course but most of these people were saying you know what it's oppressive to me the price of
00:34:52
eggs yeah okay that's what's oppressing me deal with that yeah the ones right in
00:34:58
front of me the eggs so they're expensive no such say inflation's under control remember when gas prices started going up and he's saying this stuff that's talked about in the back room
00:35:10
this could be a good thing H transition to away for fossil fuels bill I swear you could have jumped into that metal of Freedom ceremony and he would have noticed this throw it
00:35:22
around your neck he was out of it this guy did some [ __ ] there you go now okay next is it is
00:35:29
it true you have 40 nominations but not a win correct and I think that really says more about them than me but let's move on I blame G well yeah it's impossible to win now you're the wrong
00:35:42
Moore uh won for the substance actress in a musical or comedy was that a musical or comedy was it okay I saw that one okay go now uh really hard to watch because have
00:35:55
you seen it uh me off it they said you wouldn't be able to handle it I couldn't hand I I literally was watching it through my fingers because it becomes it's so over the top with what they do
00:36:08
to her uh it's about it's a a good idea and there are parts of it I liked uh but
00:36:15
it was just too hard to watch the she uh is a woman who of a certain age who wants to recapture Youth and then there's some thing that somebody invented uh that she can
00:36:28
e right and like she leaves her old self lying in the closet for a week and the new version of her goes out and then she gets hooked on it and wants to you have
00:36:40
to do it in a certain way she [ __ ] it up so then she becomes this grotesque figure and they just take it to a degree that's just to for me it was too much
00:36:52
but I get the idea the idea yeah yeah and of course uh you know it was made making a comment about how we uh judge older people by their looks and that's
00:37:03
not right you know applause applause and I get it it's not right but we do it and
00:37:10
to me that's all ass backwards because if you were really mature what you would understand is that life is a series of
00:37:16
tradeoffs when you're young you're stupid and beautiful and then you get older and you get smarter and worse
00:37:23
looking and mature people throughout the ages in all cultures have just accepted Ed that not us not us we have to be sexy
00:37:30
until you're a million years old and anyone says different is bad I'm luy they're not just wrong they're bad yeah they're bad they're bad people well to me first of all could not look any
00:37:43
better I mean for being in this movie uh about looking good she looks great who to me more yeah but she doesn't look like she's 25 no which is the point of
00:37:54
the movie is that we she actually a different plays her right yeah yes of course yeah that's the point yeah it's Margaret KW who is 25 you know I did
00:38:07
kind of like her speech because she has been you know the idea that I thought I was kind of done really done you know so that was unexpected no I Loved Her
00:38:18
speech that's one speech I watched and it was great first of all it was in control it was it was planned she had a
00:38:25
little thing to say it was the and she said I love the part she said uh some producer told me a long long time ago you're you're a popcorn actress yeah you know you'll do well in movies that
00:38:37
make money but no you're not going to win Awards that's and uh so I thought that was that was terrific you know what's funny is first of all I think she's great second of all I just want
00:38:47
someone in a speech to go you know what someone told me once you're going to be great they never mention that it's
00:38:53
always the one guy that told you'll never make it but there's a lot of way that say you'll probably be
00:39:04
great did you have that bill I mean you're you're did you have a struggle where they didn't know what to do with
00:39:10
you because you you were in a you were in a half hour sitcom first right before becoming doing real time are you one of the Pink Ladies I did four sitcoms four
00:39:21
that made it to air yeah I think so I did I did Sarah with Jina Davis uh I did Hard Knocks one of the first sitcoms on Showtime uh I was two mismatch
00:39:34
detectives if you could believe a thing like that I'm in were you were you in the show called I think it's I've had just about enough of you was that you no I never heard I just made that up but go
00:39:46
ahead titles are funny Bill Mah is heart knock all right I was in bringing up chunky I was the neighbor no and then I did and then I
00:39:56
did one with Sam Kennison I can't remember the name of that wow year uh I don't know right before he died because he was a heroin addict who
00:40:08
kept everybody waiting for hours while he sobered up I wanted I want to see the script where in parentheses after Sam it
00:40:14
says in parentheses screams this next line yeah every line is in all caps so was that your dream you weren't thinking about hosting the Tonight Show or anything you were thinking
00:40:27
show no I did not host it I've been on it you know like I don't know 40 times or something but um no I I always wanted to do pretty much what I'm doing but
00:40:41
when I started like I think a lot of this the template was well you get on The Tonight Show you do your little six minutes little monkey goes out there and makes people laugh with good clean good
00:40:53
clean material and then right and then get a a sitcom like like Robin Williams did and Roseanne Freddy Prince Billy yeah well you know that was a little
00:41:07
before my time even bigger the idea is that you're G to get a sitcom based on you being a comedian sometimes based on who you actually are as a comedian but you and that's what happened to me I did
00:41:19
my my my four or five tonight shows I got on a big show a sitcom with on NBC that was on after family it was a big thing with a big producer Gary David
00:41:31
Goldberg that was yeah so that was so that put me on that path and then I did you know okay so I'm that funny guy I can do DC cab and I can do you know
00:41:42
these you know funny little movies and so that was really how I spent the 80s and it was you know but it's okay because I would not have had the gravitas in my 20s to do a show about
00:41:55
politics who's going to listen to somebody that age you shouldn't uh so it was it came out just pretty much the way
00:42:02
it should have and the technology so cable TV was starting and going and then that's then that expanded there weren't places to do a a talk show besides the
00:42:13
major networks in the 80s right so yeah I mean when I went on with Politically Incorrect in
00:42:19
1993 um Comedy Central yeah Comedy Central and that was the right place yeah for the show like that that was you know had nothing to lose and you could
00:42:30
put a guy on Little controversy yeah they like super cheap to make just get some chairs yeah me very cheap at the time were you cheap at that time okay
00:42:42
very cheap when did you first get rich like you don't have to tell a number when did you first get a big big
00:42:48
paycheck and kind of went holy [ __ ] well I thought uh when I did that first sitcom I remember my salary was 7 ,500 a week uh previously had been my
00:43:01
yearly earnings of course as a comedian a little more than that yearly but maybe not really when I lived in New York so
00:43:08
that was that was like 1984 that was my second year out here and you know to to jump up to that was huge you know I immediately went to a store called
00:43:20
Maxwell's which was like this a loser this do you know this store sounds funny the guy gets money goes right to Maxwells it it was this clothing store I think it was on Melrose or Robertson and
00:43:34
it was like where rock stars went and all the clothes were unique and hysterically awful if you saw them today
00:43:42
but you know I could I could buy a a sport code for $1,500 or something that was ridiculous but you know I never was able to do that before yeah w i that was the salary I
00:43:55
got for one of the boys with Mickey Rooney and Nathan Lan in 1981 in New York my first sitcom yeah Mickey Rooney
00:44:02
Mickey Rooney to boy that takes you back to work with a guy who was able to portray an Asian
00:44:09
person 196 in a movie and no one objected he probably got an award for it and with buck te it was such a chewing on a log or something eating Cricket
00:44:21
protest stereotype I can't even do it but Jerry Lewis did it too by the way in a crazy story that ties in uh Bill and Dana we have the same management and he
00:44:34
says one time I go up for a sitcom and they want me so bad they say uh we're gonna um audition you to the network and then seven people for the
00:44:47
other guy I was like [ __ ] yeah so I of course make my deal for like $25,000 for
00:44:53
pilot so I'm basically spending the money so I go there and the first read they go great the second read they go
00:44:59
maybe a little more energy on this one third read they go new guy with me they go maybe a little less energy on this
00:45:06
now I see them sweating and they go maybe we'll just for laugh switch parts just to mix things up just just you read
00:45:12
his he'll read your oh and I I by the way I see nothing wrong I'm like cool I'm I'm adaptable I don't realize
00:45:18
there's places on fire and so I finish I go to see Mark gett our manager and I walk in he goes all the people that just made 40 $30,000 at a Pilot take one step
00:45:30
forward not so fast Spade really that's how he told me I go what are you talking about he goes how
00:45:36
did you ruin that you were the only one up for your part I go I can tell you I can tell you exactly
00:45:43
how because I remember those days and not fondly but here's the here's the deal you go into read first and we're
00:45:49
Comics so we already have an advantage uh because before you get to read you usually have a little chitchat with the writer producers um by the way I was so green when I started that I didn't
00:46:02
realize that the producers were the writers and one time I said to the producers who who wrote this [ __ ] not
00:46:09
realizing it was them but okay so we go in and be being Comics we can get them laughing before we even start reading the [ __ ] so like we warm up the crowd
00:46:21
and then it's like oh we're we're laughing this guy's funny now we're going to read it you read it the first
00:46:26
time and you're funnier than the [ __ ] actors if it's a silly sitcom so you kill so they bring you back but now they've heard you do it once so you do it again and they're still laughing but
00:46:39
you know it's kind of getting old and by the by the eth time they've brought you
00:46:44
back it just looks stale because they've heard you do it so much and then they bring in somebody who's not as good but
00:46:50
it's fresh the reading is fresh and and they look better and that's how heard about your story that happened on the 405 on the way there six times so it's like that's not funny anymore now it's
00:47:02
just bill did you ever walk into an audition room and see sort of versions of yourself cuz case Point i' walk in
00:47:10
and see weak chin babyfaced and drous young men women here's Bill's story go ahead here's my story about that I exactly
00:47:21
what you're talking about walked into one and Charles Fleer we we know Charles fler right yeah
00:47:29
okay how would you describe Charles fler oh my goodness eccentric Ecentric funny
00:47:35
he was Roger Rabbit Roger rabit yeah did he was he the first one to do where he put the stool upside down I think maybe Rob did it later oh seating for four see
00:47:48
seating for four game in he put the stool upside turn just to upside down table for four yeah table for four came
00:47:55
in I thought that was Charlie but he had a he had a kind of a mad scientist look
00:48:00
about mad scientist crazy hair okay so I walk in and we have a little conversation he goes okay Pricks over here nuts over here because like I was
00:48:11
always like the sarcastic the prick part and I was sitting with the Pricks and he was over there with the guy who's the
00:48:17
nut like that's what I said come had it had a prick and it had a nut when I did Sarah I remember the ad came out in TV
00:48:25
guide and it had the of is Gina Davis uh Academy Award nominee Alfrey Woodard great Brunson pincho and me and a little description of who we were and under
00:48:36
mine it said the office creep so that's that's a good spinoff that's what I was playing I was Marty the office creep well they're always they have crer someone to come in and be
00:48:49
funny that's usually the ones you try to get but yeah that's theer part the nut he's the nut I did a I did a pilot
00:48:57
with Kramer with um oh he did yeah what's his his real name Michael from Seinfeld Michael yeah and called City Slickers I was the cop in the little
00:49:09
town and I was the straight man and he was the wacky New York oh he was a wacky and you weren't uh no I was I was always cast as a straight man uh every pilot I
00:49:21
was on two TV shows one with James fantino I was straight man always a straight man always until know can I ask
00:49:28
something of you guys about aging here because like I'm just picturing people watching this listening to this uh who are the age we were when we were
00:49:39
listening to I don't know Shey green and George Burns Don Rickles yes and just first of all we we wanted to be Comics so we love those guys but the idea that
00:49:52
we're the old guys is just it just it's just mindblowing because in our minds yes we're not we're not you know in our minds we're the same guys but I know people how can these guys have stories
00:50:05
about the 80s if they're not [ __ ] I remember hearing that Norm Crosby who was maybe 56 at the time was bugging his manager Bernie Burstein really wanted a
00:50:16
sitcom and I I was I was thinking he at that age what does he expect at 56 get the [ __ ] out of here I mean anybody in our age group when I went back to SNL
00:50:29
I'm riffing and talking to Marcelo he's 27 and we're just like peers working on stuff and I'm I'm Grandpa age feel technically I'm I'm I'm old enough to be
00:50:43
the grand like who's James fantino and you're like oh uh he's a guy that but you know I would love to have had a podcast if Carson afterwards quit the show had a podcast where he was real and
00:50:55
talking about stuff might have been really fun didn't exist yeah and you know at his height I think he was
00:51:02
getting 17 million a night for a show that went on at 11:30 um I mean a a year 17 million a night yeah yeah 17 million viewers I
00:51:15
think oh 17 million viewers yeah at least yeah not money yeah viewers which is like I mean Prime Time Shows don't don't often get a tenth of that no uh
00:51:28
but but what if there were four million other talk shows on I know yeah you know
00:51:33
hard that's that's the difference between podcasting and broadcast television from that era if there were
00:51:39
four million people instead of just Allen thick trying to Dethrone Johnny but you might you might find this
00:51:45
interesting that the Baby Boomers for the first time you know when we grew up it was 18 to 49 for the advertisers
00:51:50
that's where the money is right and the Boomers have 78 trillion for the first time because the homes we escalated and
00:51:57
everything so we the money is being tilted toward us The Bachelorette and you know the golden Bachelor stuff like
00:52:04
that so it's kind of interesting that we're the rich demographic unfortunately for the young people they you know but a
00:52:11
lot of that money is being transferred to the younger Generations during the next 20 years so by the time the kids 57
00:52:18
he can buy a home well okay but but a lot of that money is just being passed out when especially when they're in
00:52:25
their 20s and and 30s so I know we're we're we're squares and everything's bad and we ruin the world but you know
00:52:31
they're not they're not saying no to the money I notice oh no well [Music] we what in your poorest days just
00:52:46
describe your apartment how much was it did you have rabbit ears for a TV was it to live alone oh I I I was really poor
00:52:54
from um College really freshman year of college until I moved out here I would say I really experienced what poverty was now
00:53:05
not to sound like shagy green or Alan King or guys in the old days but but I'm going to sound like it when I say but we
00:53:13
didn't know we were poor you know because we had because we had love uh that's a good character you should do that I like that guy well okay but like
00:53:24
when I look back at College oh I live in slums my first year I lived in uh dorm 4
00:53:30
which was temporary housing built in 1945 which was still up in the 70s uh my room was the size of a closet which I shared with somebody the bathroom was at the end of the hall and boy did that
00:53:41
stink on a Sunday night um uh Then I then there was itha New York this is where I was at Cornell I mean you moved into you moved into a frat which I didn't want to do uh not
00:53:55
also of course was not even close to being invited but okay let's just say I let's just say I didn't want to do it uh
00:54:02
so you moved into college town which were slums I mean it was like Appalachia up there and these slum the these toy slum yeah shout out to that these slum
00:54:14
Lords and they they they had this automatic supply of tenants because every year new college kids need a place
00:54:20
to live so they didn't have to make the places acceptable they were horrible that's and then I moved to New York oh my God first I I lived on um in Spanish
00:54:32
Harlem I walked home every night at two in the morning from the clubs into a pretty rough neighborhood never was
00:54:39
bothered they looked at me and went this guy has nothing there is he's just got the t-shirt on his back and there's no reason to try to Rob him and it was a
00:54:51
five floor walk up the the the bathroom it did have a bathroom but it was just what they called a water closet it was just a hole with a chain where you could
00:55:03
you could take a dump no shower you sat in a tub in the kitchen with one of those attachments okay this is getting
00:55:10
good this is getting up there you got then then I had my first apartment on 8th Avenue over a bus stop uh it was at
00:55:19
least uh my own it was a you know a studio which means you know one little room uh but you know that was and I used to live on the Blimpies that was across the
00:55:32
street it was a190 for a three cheese sub that's what so like I love that I had that experience I Don't Remember Loving it at the time but um it's good
00:55:43
for you you know and I never I always had too much pride to ever ask I guess I could have asked my parents for a little help they weren't doing too well at the time either but you know it was just it
00:55:57
was it just never entered my mind to like reach out because it was like no let's just let's just Thug it out yeah and then how many years after your first
00:56:08
set did you make a living as a standup how long did it take you well okay so my my rent at the uh
00:56:17
shitbox on 8th Avenue it started out at 250 250 uh in 1980 or 79 or something and
00:56:26
then it was automatically Rose 99% a year so say I was paying like $300 um yeah I could make rent and
00:56:35
probably food was like another $100 a month so say my whole nut was $500 okay by 1980 I was mcing at catcher Rising Star so you got $50 a night for
00:56:49
that and if I did maybe one or two out of town gigs I really wasn't ready for that but I took some and it was terrible experiences when I bombed but okay
00:57:00
that's part of it so I could probably live and I also sold pot that was my that was really how I lived so between the pot and the mcing yeah I could make my nut by
00:57:13
1980 nice bill I have a question about inspirational for children isn't it uh bill on your show now on HBO what's that called again real time
00:57:26
and it comes back January 17th my special comes is on January 10th uh I Friday January 10th question too do you I know there was uh an ABC you left
00:57:38
there eventually you go to I think it's straight to HBO you've been there ever since and is there any there must be
00:57:45
some things you get into that the ruffle feathers or is there just kind of autonomy you do what you want who writes these questions for you because seriously
00:57:56
that I was just that sounds like some producer wrote that question no it's AI I just certainly certainly you don't
00:58:01
have a producer on the show I mean it's obious barely have me and Dana we buy the mics and the lights we do everything
00:58:08
this is the most dog [ __ ] lowend lowy yeah oh trust me we know but um but that's what works that's what works about it it's no Club random that's a sweet thing you've got those eded
00:58:22
cameras I'll answer yeah he's like brandom's like The Bachelor they have like cameras on the way in and Camera we
00:58:30
introduce hey hey we you and I are the last two bachelors and by the way speaking of that I I think a great show
00:58:38
would be one of us mostly probably me uh doing the the golden Bachelor but like our real lives not with an age appropriate woman cuz that's boring with
00:58:53
an age inappropriate woman because you know what the appropriate age for a relationship is one that works yeah look
00:59:00
at Bill bellich 73 and 20 they seem happy or share or Madonna exactly Madonna they go for the 20s as well it seems to me and I want you to comment on this when women get
00:59:16
power they seem to go younger like men who get power go younger yeah absolutely that happens Kate beckin sale when with Pete Davidson uh and I think a few other
00:59:29
younger guys and yeah I mean and when they do it and when they do it it's empowering uh when men do it we're perverts good for her yeah I never felt
00:59:41
that I remember you said everyone wanted you to get married I go no one wants you get to get married people do married but
00:59:47
there are people who do but I would think it it's absurd and I also think that since women are wired differently
00:59:53
it's not like they're with someone wealthy and famous they're literally really attracted to the personality that
01:00:00
can that does stuff I mean it takes a lot of something to get where you're at and that's that's attractive to a woman yes well as we were saying before
01:00:12
women are deeper um and we're going to keep telling ourselves that no uh it's but don't you but don't you think that would be a great show the the golden Bachelor but you know with with
01:00:28
women that David and I are attracted to and that doesn't make us bad people I keep getting into it well yeah I don't think it should be me or you but we should get a guy and
01:00:42
uh no it has to be a comedian it's funny has to be should have a comedian anyway but yes and you know what the title of it is and this is from Mickey Rooney about because I asked him
01:00:53
how did you have sex with all those starlets you know 5 feet tall in 1940s he said quote money makes you
01:01:01
handsomer right true what was the line he had when he brought I think it was Jane Mansfield up on the stage at an award show when he was right at tit
01:01:12
level and he had some great line milkers something like it's not bad being short I forget what it was but it was it was a great moment I think we'd be more normal if we were if I was
01:01:25
married and divorced I would be more normal more usual yes never married you know when did the phrase come up confirmed Bachelor when when is are you
01:01:38
guys yes in the in the old days that was a no seriously I think I said it about myself code for for gay right yes that was a euphemism for gay just the way uh
01:01:49
in Hollywood a woman's director uh was uh code for a gay dor oh I think I think George cuar for example but I if I'm wrong about that please don't he may have been the man most he-
01:02:05
manest of the guys I think that's who I'm talking about but there was ones who were you know gay directors and that was
01:02:12
a he was a woman's director you know they they were very Gentile in those days they didn't say things out
01:02:18
right I been described as a female comic whatever that means that means I okay so Bill thanks for uh we can wrap him up he's a good
01:02:29
guy yeah yeah he did a j Bill he's got a life to Le we're going to give you your evaluation after I'm going to you really
01:02:36
kind of barked at me toward the end but overall I think we had a good run here um I enjoyed it because and you do this
01:02:43
as well as along with everything else you do the best podcaster when you're never checking the clock and I didn't
01:02:49
check the clock on this one I just oh no oh I could talk to you guys all day and and you're so funny and and I know that
01:02:56
sounds like I'm just kissing up uh I don't think you're the kind of guy kisses but I I was just gonna say I think I have the credibility at this point um having
01:03:10
lost 40 emys that uh you know my billboard I think they're putting up they they're doing a replay of one I had
01:03:17
from 10 years ago they were going over like you know you've been on a long time they got to come up with new
01:03:23
catchphrases and they they came to the end of it and they like oh we we're kind of I could tell they were kind of afraid
01:03:28
to try this one I was like just say it we don't have anything and it was he's not in it for the
01:03:34
likes and I was like that I love that so [ __ ] much and so I think the one this
01:03:40
year says he's still not in it for the likes which I love I'm not uh I love being honest that's that's my reward so
01:03:47
when I say you guys are the killing is funny is you can take that to the bank as Robert Blake used to say whatever
01:03:53
happened to him he just went in to get his gun it was in the restaurant and he came back
01:04:00
out he forgot it and then he went and got it you both owe me a new club Random episode going to be this how it works oh my God I want I want to go on there
01:04:11
again I that was really interesting that was that was cool I liked it I'm going to get blasted this time
01:04:17
though miss you thanks you too all right talk to you soon take care buddy bye this has been a presentation of odyssey please follow subscribe leave a like a
01:04:28
review all the stuff smash that button whatever it is wherever you get your podcast flying the wall is executive
01:04:34
produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey and Heather Santoro the show's lead producer
01:04:40
is Greg Holtzman