00:00:00
Ezra, >> they cut out the part where she goes, "Am I talking to the turtle?"
00:00:05
>> The consciousness of life and what beauty of love and spank me with a spoon, you But anyway,
00:00:14
>> consciousness. >> So, we just come out as Joe Dirt and Gar take >> questions as them.
00:00:22
>> Yeah. Make the crowd happy. And of course, my um Bohemian rap city. Whoops.
00:00:28
Oh boy. >> How do we get to this? Oh my god, it's Wayne's World. Oh my god. How do I
00:00:34
forget? >> Sorry. I apologize. >> Don't be nervous. >> We have ads to read, but just don't get
00:00:44
a Don't be a motor mouth. We've got ads to read later. >> You know what, Dane? I was asking some
00:00:51
people. I go, if you had one word to describe Dana Garvey, and they're like motormouth.
00:00:59
I think one word I stole your burn and used it against you. >> One word to describe me probably is what
00:01:05
or why. >> One word to describe you is confusing. >> Yeah. One word to describe you is um
00:01:13
silver endrails by the neck. That's kind of long. >> Is that me? >> No, that's cuz the light hits it.
00:01:20
>> Look, I comb my hair, but I pushed it. I love that we talk about hair and
00:01:23
everyone just can't stand it. But I can't stand not doing it. Well, we could
00:01:26
talk about my abs if they want. I mean, whatever they want. >> If we have to talk about Does anyone
00:01:32
need some laundry done? Because we'll do them. >> Hey, I have a I have a fitness tip for
00:01:38
everybody. >> Okay. >> When you go to the gym twice a week and then you just sit around in between,
00:01:46
there is something to signaling your muscles. Like I'm just saying to people
00:01:51
if you can do two push-ups every hour, just two. Yeah. So you you got >> two total in the week.
00:02:00
>> No, but then you get an hour rest, you do two more. It's a signal to your
00:02:04
muscles. If you want to go out there and you know, >> my mus my muscles are like this.
00:02:12
My muscles my muscles are jealous of your muscles. Why can't you be buffed like him?
00:02:18
I have no muscle. You know, I look like a bit of a pipsqueak, but I'm more of a
00:02:23
[ __ ] puss. >> How important this a just a quick question. >> Yeah,
00:02:28
>> cuz I was in this with someone said, >> how much do women like not like really
00:02:35
big muscles on a man? >> I think Heather's giving a thumbs down. I think what she's going to say, and I'm
00:02:41
guessing is too big a muscles are kind of pointless. And from all the data I've
00:02:48
gotten, it's too much time at the gym is too egotistical. Like work on other
00:02:54
parts of your life. Don't just be gym rat. >> There's a word that >> is good.
00:03:01
>> Yeah, that's fair. >> Reason a word that my wife and I use that we're not fit, but we're fitish.
00:03:08
>> No, you're you're both >> when I've seen Paula my whole life, she
00:03:12
always great shape. >> Whoops. I know you listen, Paul is gorgeous. People need to know.
00:03:19
>> And she's a sweetheart. And you um you might >> You're a sweetheart.
00:03:24
>> I like when people say Beauty and the Beast. I'm like, you can't say that.
00:03:28
>> Beauty and the Beast. Am I the beast or the beauty? >> No, you're the beast. But you're not
00:03:32
bad. But when I used to date anyone that was over a three, people be like, "What
00:03:37
is the deal? >> How How did he land that?" I'm like, I'm fun at parties. I'm fun.
00:03:45
I'm There's about a twohour window at night when I'm fun. Usually at dinner
00:03:48
and then [ __ ] >> Well, you're like me, which is kind of lucky. Hey, want to have dinner? What
00:03:53
time? 3:30. Yeah, they serve. >> You're the only one in the world that
00:03:57
beats me to dinner. >> I know. I don't get the idea of I want to GET ME A BIG CHEESE pizza at 10:05
00:04:06
and get in bed and pull the covers up at 10:22. I don't get Come on, count me
00:04:12
out. I don't like to go to sleep. >> That's Miami. They go, we'll go to
00:04:16
dinner at like 11. We'll start. I'm like, literally, not one person has a
00:04:20
job. They're just all doing bumps and taking Instagram pictures. Okay. I got a
00:04:24
few hot takes. >> Getting right to my week. >> All right. I I got a few, too. But I
00:04:30
want to hear yours first. >> Mine are Mine are more boring, so I get to go first.
00:04:34
>> Yours are usually better. >> Okay. I will say cuz I was on the road
00:04:38
by the time I do this I'll be going to Casinoama in Toronto and also >> Oceans
00:04:46
>> is that near Niagara Falls. >> Casino Toronto Toronto's done three
00:04:52
movies and Toronto is the most requested city. But the Canada tax thing I hate it
00:04:57
has nothing to do with the people. Canada's great. >> Nothing to do with the people just the
00:05:01
government. The government >> they really put that it's like the reason why we don't shoot movies in
00:05:05
America. They always go it's tax here. If we go there different when you do stand up it's tax. Anyway, I get taxed
00:05:11
twice. So, but I'm still going because I want to go see the Toronto people. It's
00:05:16
a little on the outskirts. >> Toronto people are nice. >> My my experience being in Toronto, but I
00:05:25
would say that Canada just chased me for 15 years. I did a movie there trapped in
00:05:30
paradise with Nicholas Cage and John Love. Christmas classic maybe. But then they
00:05:38
call they would call me at home. >> Hey, you know it's some Texas, right?
00:05:42
You know, same thing with New York. >> Some Texas. >> You know some Texas. What's that a boot?
00:05:47
You're not paying them. >> Same thing with New York. New York would call me at home after I moved out of New
00:05:53
York. >> Oh. >> And harass me. So finally in my passive aggressive way, it's like this New York
00:05:58
IRS and we we understand we've got news clippings here and it seems like you
00:06:03
they saw me on like Letterman seems like you live in New York and I just started
00:06:07
going well how do I know you are you? >> Yeah, you're AI. >> You're just a voice on the phone. How do
00:06:13
I know? And they like never no one ever said that. Well, what do you what do you
00:06:16
mean? So >> once they realize you got a few beans in your jeans, they come looking for it. Uh
00:06:21
when I was in >> you got a few squashes in your moshes. I mean, just because it rhymes. You can't
00:06:27
associate Levis with beans. >> I stole that from my brother Andy. He says that it's so funny. Um,
00:06:33
>> Heather, turn that one down. I realize I squint on this eye like Tom Cruz. I
00:06:37
don't know why. >> I don't want to be like that. He kind of has one eye that's always kind of
00:06:41
closed. Have you noticed that? >> Pull it up, Jamie. Um, no, that's what
00:06:46
Joe in your dreams. Hey, Jamie. >> But what about this, Dana? Mhm. >> Barbarians is a place we used to go eat
00:06:55
>> cuz Rob Low always tells that joke where Farley would cut it like a 2 by 2 in
00:06:59
piece of steak and then he'd peel the butter pat back >> and put that on one piece of steak and
00:07:06
then eat the whole thing every bite. >> Fantastic. >> And then he goes, "It needs a hat." And
00:07:11
then you can't argue with that. But then Rachel McAdams was talking about I think
00:07:14
The Notebook was filmed up there and she's like, "We used to go to this place
00:07:18
called Barbarians." I was like, "Oh my god. >> Oh my god. I have talked about that. We
00:07:22
have so much to talk about. >> And use the butter, the pat butter and the little thing as a hat.
00:07:28
>> I will tell you, I went to the notebook >> premiere. >> Oh, I told you it's a premier premier
00:07:33
[ __ ] in the past. I didn't I went to see James Garner at the party after just
00:07:38
to say, you know, good job. Like I saw it. >> Jimmy Garner. The James Garner.
00:07:44
>> Yeah, he's my boy. Yeah. >> Damn. >> I was doing a show with him. Uh I love
00:07:49
that guy. He was a great guy. What a stud. They're redoing Rockford Files and
00:07:53
I'm like, I don't know. >> I know. It's really hard. No, he was he
00:07:59
was amazing. And uh >> and and it's with me and I'm still critical.
00:08:05
>> Hey, hey, you got a lot of trending for your uh your Burgess Meredith impression. And I realized the key was
00:08:13
to say instead of murder, say mua. >> That's he always goes. your appointment rock this time and you
00:08:23
got >> that guy was a brilliant movie star. He did of mice and men and then his career
00:08:32
mic drop though was uh whatever the character's name was. >> I like Oh, did he play the penguin?
00:08:39
>> Oh my god. Yes, you're right. >> He played the penguin on the Batman
00:08:43
series in 1968. Thanks for tuning in, boomers. Yeah, Rocky didn't have a good
00:08:48
team about him because his team was Burgess Meredith saying he's gonna appointment and then his wife going,
00:08:54
"You can't win." I'm like, "Godamn, I need a better crew."
00:08:59
>> They cut the scene where he kind of confesses to his his girlfriend and the
00:09:03
coach. He goes, "Hey, my strategy is to take about 55 punches to my face, right?
00:09:09
And I'll be so beat up. He'll get tired. He'll get punched out." Cuz no one ever
00:09:13
got hit in their face more than Rocky. And Rocky won. >> Yeah. Yeah. And he's like,
00:09:18
>> they cut out the part where she goes, am I talking to the turtle? >> Am I talking to Buttkiss? Because
00:09:25
>> Well, that's where I got the idea for the turtle guy and I'm asking.
00:09:28
>> Oh, yeah. Ah, because of Buttkiss. >> Okay, here's a quick story. I was on the
00:09:35
road San Antonio, great crowd, bat in the theater. So, I'm backstage with Bobby and Patrick and uh
00:09:42
>> Mhm. the [ __ ] I go I'm about to go on. I go, "Is that a bird in here?" They
00:09:48
go, "I think there's a bird in here." It lands. It's a full bat.
00:09:53
>> Oh, >> vampire bat. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. >> So, I says to the people, I says to him,
00:09:58
I says to him, I says, I first of all, I go, it's going to fly out during the
00:10:02
show and I got to talk. I don't want to say anything. I don't want to take
00:10:04
anything away from my precious act. But I get out there and within seconds bat follows me, Heather, and comes swooping
00:10:12
on the crowd. >> And I said, "Guys, is that a bat?" And they all go, "Yes." They all yell and
00:10:18
then they laugh and I go, "So you know there you know about bats in here and
00:10:23
you're not scared cuz I just got a rabies shot coincidentally this afternoon." And uh they said, "Yeah."
00:10:29
They didn't care at all. And I go, "We were going to say we should cancel the
00:10:32
show." They're like, "Nobody cares about the bad." >> Oh, we used to have them. We'd have a
00:10:36
Montana. What town was this in again? >> San Antonio. >> Oh, yeah. About dust, right? As early
00:10:43
evening, just a thousand bats would go and circle around the lake. And >> Oh, they do that in Austin, too. I've
00:10:48
heard. Yeah, there's a cave. But >> Mhm. >> I don't love them.
00:10:51
>> Bats are not cute. If you see them up close hanging upside down, >> I'm doing
00:10:58
>> Okay, here's another That's a good That's a good noise, actually. I don't
00:11:00
even know what bats sound like. >> I've never heard them make too much
00:11:04
noise, but >> they do make noise. kind of gross looking. They're rats with wings. So,
00:11:09
two things I don't like. >> Oh, so I'm going through TSA. >> I ate at the Waterburger, I think, in
00:11:17
Dallas >> on the way to uh >> God, Waterburger really nails it. If you're white trash, it's [ __ ]
00:11:24
>> Oh, is that a nationwide chain? >> I think it's mostly Arizona, Texas. I
00:11:30
don't >> You know what? I think I had one. I was driving to Phoenix for some gig and I
00:11:34
think I had one out outskirts and it was incredible. I'll co-sign it. It's not a
00:11:39
sponsor. We're just saying this. It'll be a sponsor next week. >> I remember when I was with you and you
00:11:44
picked your nose and you go, "What a booger." >> I remember when you saw me pick my nose
00:11:49
and say, "Aren't you going to share?" I'll say, "I learned how to share in
00:11:54
school. >> I give me some of that bug." One time he said, "I think I'm hot [ __ ]
00:12:03
on a silver platter." And I said, "No, you're cold boogers on a paper plate."
00:12:08
>> Do you rehearse this stuff with Heather for you? >> Heather goes, "Fourth grade. That's what
00:12:13
I used to rifle off." >> I say second grade. She's being generous.
00:12:16
>> Yeah, that is generous. Uh oh, here's my line in Dallas. >> I say, "I see a lot of hot girls out
00:12:23
there from Big D." And then they applaud and I go, "And a couple rough ones from
00:12:27
Mosquite." Well, anything this is funny. You probably got a big laugh. >> It sounds mean, but it was.
00:12:34
>> You probably got a big big laugh. >> Okay, here's the last thing I'll say
00:12:38
about the tour. I go >> to TSA and we hire a greeter cuz I've never been to this airport and they kind
00:12:45
of whisk you through. There was no whisking. It was everything took longer. And then she we gets in the TSA line. I
00:12:51
go, "This is pretty long." She I don't know. Isn't it supposed to be shorter?
00:12:54
She literally knows not one thing. And then we get up to the buckets and she goes, "Do I got to take off my shoes?"
00:12:59
I'm like, "We hired you for information." I said, "I don't think
00:13:04
so." I was nice. I go, "It's TSA." So, we get up there and they always pull one
00:13:08
of my bags out and they rifle through and you have to wait. Honestly, it was probably 15 minutes. We're like,
00:13:16
>> "And do they do they find it what you're trying to smuggle on?"
00:13:19
>> I I go I know what it is. >> Yeah. It's always like some food thing I
00:13:24
bring that looks like, but they told us how to do it >> where, by the way, can we just get rid
00:13:30
of TSA? There's It's fine. >> You know what I mean? We're fine now.
00:13:34
>> The rigomearroll we go through >> to just listen. If a few planes fall
00:13:40
out, no, I'm kidding. >> People voted. They said, "What are the chances?" Anyway, I get there and she
00:13:47
goes, "This yours?" Just like I used to talk about my act. Full knife, Heather.
00:13:53
Bull knife. And I'm like, "Holy shit." >> You put what? >> It wasn't that big.
00:14:00
>> Yeah. But >> it wasn't a butter knife. >> You tried to get through security with a
00:14:04
knife with a lethal. >> I think it's that one we cut boxes with, >> oh, okay.
00:14:08
>> Not your little carrot one, but like the big >> No, like a real >> Yeah. And I I um I said
00:14:16
Yeah. Yeah. just uh you know it's for my toenails. It's necessary. My nail this
00:14:24
just in case my arm gets stuck in a rock. No, no, you perfectly you can frisk with the best of them. I mean, you
00:14:31
know, I think the X-ray, you know, I I noticed that I was slightly wrecked and I uh maybe the excitement set off the
00:14:37
alarm, you know. Did it go off because I'm slouching? Let me know if my posture
00:14:42
is off. No, I you know you know I like being frisked in the morning, you know, especially underneath, you know, with
00:14:49
onlookers uh taking notes. It's a a wonderful part of my existence. I'm I'm
00:14:55
I'm sorry. I just saw Annie. >> What are you talking about? You're a
00:14:58
beautiful intelligent woman. >> Oh, you're a beautiful intelligent woman. I just saw Hannah Hanner.
00:15:04
>> Hannah and her sister Hannah and her sister just rewatched it. >> Yeah. So, he's
00:15:09
>> by the way. Anyway, they let me go, of course. They go, "We're going to keep
00:15:12
the knife." I go, "Please." So, I didn't have to go to the clink. They were just
00:15:17
laughing about it. That's so funny. They're just like, "Yeah, you're fine."
00:15:20
Um, >> I'm frisked and this is no no joke. I'm not getting around here. Every single
00:15:25
time I don't know what sets off and I get frisked and I'm like this and then
00:15:29
if people recognize me, they're like, "Dude, what's going on, man?" Because
00:15:34
usually the TSA guy is like 22. I say, "Ever see in Wayne's world. Don't
00:15:41
talk when I frisk >> tooth. >> By the way, to that I have a couple things just comments on. I thought it
00:15:52
was interesting in the Epstein files unless you have more of your story. >> On turn to page 2,800,000.
00:16:00
>> Well, there's things that came out. So, so I give him credit. Bill Gates said
00:16:04
that he did have an affair with two different Russian women. and one was a physicist and one was a bridge player
00:16:12
but nothing with Ebstein Island or underage. So that kind of, you know, >> so because of this pressure mounting of
00:16:20
like he's always he's his like uh >> BF, right? Yeah. >> Buddy system.
00:16:27
>> He's like, well, okay. But then when you start to see cracks like that, you get
00:16:31
all nervous because he's like, >> "Okay, a couple >> I just can't imagine because Bill, you
00:16:38
know, he's he's Microsoft, so he's obviously incredibly smart guy and he
00:16:43
has these Russian women and he's worth a hundred billion, you know, so he's
00:16:47
playing bridge." And then she's like, "Hey, Mr. Bill Gates, I like the way
00:16:51
your style is on the bridge table. Would you like to go upstairs and make lovey lovey time after we finish the bridge
00:17:00
game? >> Yeah. >> He says, "Uh, I don't know. I just have one question." What's that? Are you
00:17:06
borat? >> In a wig. >> I like They go, "I like the way you dress. You work at Best Buy."
00:17:14
>> Yeah. You have nerdy glasses, nerdy clothes, and nerdy demeanor, but you got
00:17:20
a hundred billion dollars. So to me, you're super handsome. And Bill's like,
00:17:25
"Well, okay. I'm kind of shy most of the time, but all right, if you want to."
00:17:29
>> I like those double plated pleated khakis. >> I think I did G as Bill Gates.
00:17:35
>> Yeah. >> I feel funny when I >> uh the other one. >> Go ahead.
00:17:42
>> Go ahead. >> No, the other one that was I thought was really big was Deepo Chopra.
00:17:47
>> Oh, yeah. the guru really had some pretty uh intense uh email exchanges
00:17:53
with Jeffrey. You know, >> when you hit a thousand emails, there's some smoke.
00:17:58
>> Yeah, some smoke there. So, I thought it, you know, I because I don't see
00:18:02
Deepo Chopra that way. Normally, it's like he talk like this and with consciousness. He has to say that every
00:18:09
five consciousness and of course the spirit of time. And I thought, what if he got Tourette's and then the real guy
00:18:17
would come out, you know, be like the consciousness of life and what beauty of love and spank me with a spoon, you
00:18:25
[ __ ] But anyway, consciousness like [ __ ] >> Exactly. And I think that we can reach
00:18:35
consciousness this time. I wear the golden panties. But anyway, you can jump in. I'm trying
00:18:44
consciousness you what's pegging >> I am and life is love and the planets
00:18:52
and universe and god and consciousness my name is deep doggy doo and I got a laugh out of you
00:19:01
>> throat jokebook >> so anyway you can't write it you can't
00:19:05
think it nothing against deepo I don't know what he did but it is it's a funny
00:19:09
thing as it unfolds we have we're comedians We have to be >> there was a Tourette's situation, the
00:19:16
BAFTAs, but it's probably too much to get into. >> Oh, we can't say it, but
00:19:20
>> it was an unfortunate situation. >> Well, this Tourette's person kept saying
00:19:24
the n-word and um I think it was some kind of award show or I don't know. >> I think it was the BAFTAs.
00:19:32
>> The BAFTAs. And he offended some people. But I guess if you have Tourette's, you
00:19:38
just it comes out. You can't help it, right? It's just you don't even know. I
00:19:42
don't know. I mean, that's what I've heard. They had the girl, Bailey,
00:19:45
Heather's favorite, uh, she came out and spoke upon it. >> It's involuntary and when they suppress
00:19:50
it, it it does phys it hurts physically inside, too. It's hard. It's a hard
00:19:54
thing. >> I mean, yeah. >> The only thing weird is that he had a whole Kux Clan outfit on with the hood
00:20:00
and everything. >> He said that's part of Tourette's. >> Part of Tourette's. He just dresses in
00:20:04
that and and he burned it. I it's just he must be horrified because he can't
00:20:10
even overexlain it away. Everyone's just like ah it just >> was a rough
00:20:16
>> but you can't I mean it is it's just it's uh how did that happen? You know
00:20:21
what were the steps that took place that this gentleman would be on the stage yelling that word? I mean did they have
00:20:27
any idea? >> The guy was in the audience but but I will say that >> Oh, he's in the audience. Okay. Yeah, he
00:20:33
just yelled out, but >> in his defense, of course, I'll get this wrong, but he was saying,
00:20:40
"I've done three documentaries with, you know, BBC, so they know kind of how I am
00:20:49
and I'm sitting 40 rows back, but they put a microphone near me." >> Well, okay.
00:20:54
>> He said, "Why would you put a microphone near a guy that does that has
00:20:57
outbursts?" So he's starting to he's not >> he's sort of spreading the blame around.
00:21:04
He's like, "Listen, I shouldn't be near microphone." >> Well, and also he was touretting for
00:21:09
quite a while, you know. Yeah. >> He was like, "I hate Dutch people." You
00:21:14
know, there were a lot of stuff that was, you know, >> poopy pants. >> I don't like Swedish people.
00:21:20
>> Yeah. I don't even know. You know, things just come out very fast. And uh
00:21:25
but yeah, I don't know. My favorite line of the last 10 minutes was Deepo saying, "My name is Deep Doggy
00:21:33
Doodoo." It makes no sense. >> I just ran right over it. You have to listen back and we laugh.
00:21:40
>> You laughed hard at No, it's good. You can get a comedian to laugh because
00:21:43
usually when we're bantering, what happens in a comedian's brain is it's
00:21:47
like ping pong's like, "Oh, that was funny." And then your brain goes to,
00:21:50
"How do I join in on the party?" >> Yeah. While you're talking, I go, "I
00:21:54
have to say something stupid now." But I do like it. It makes me laugh when I
00:21:58
listen to it or I see a clip and I'm like that's funny. We both say stupid.
00:22:01
>> I just want, you know, the politics are a really hot oven these days. But um a
00:22:06
few days ago Trump did his State of the Union and he went for two hours. No, we do public. We do our sets.
00:22:14
70 >> an hour. I'm burnout. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You do 70 80. Yeah. >> By myself. Yeah. I won't I play the
00:22:21
guitar and then it just fills 20 minutes. But even Trump by the end got a little slower and a he got softer
00:22:28
because in the beginning we're going to do things in the country and our economy
00:22:33
has never been better. And then two hours later many people are saying it's like he lose a little bit of the
00:22:40
bubbles. >> You look at it and you believe it and if you believe it, you understand it. And
00:22:44
we're going very very well. >> He's slowly almost asleep. >> He's almost asleep.
00:22:48
>> I'm like they gave him the light. I'd be giving him the light going, "All right,
00:22:51
wrap it up. It's just >> how much can you say? >> I mean, is he 80 or 79? I mean, he's up
00:22:56
there. His ankles are swelling and it's two hours in. He already was did two
00:23:00
speeches. He flew in right before it started. I mean, should we all just eat file fish for breakfast or something?
00:23:06
>> I mean, I know what is the key to just bloiating is a great word. >> We're going to do a lot of things and if
00:23:14
you look at it, you see it and believe me, it's going to be great. And we're
00:23:17
going to do it many times. I have to say he could say one sentence with what he wants to say, but he really builds it up
00:23:23
and dances around it and fattens it up and you're like, "Go, go, go."
00:23:28
>> Never. >> But that's just the way he is. He's always kind of sideways, too.
00:23:31
>> I think cuz he's looking at that prompter. They have glass prompters,
00:23:34
right? >> Yeah. And he has that you can't see. Yeah. But he likes to take a phrase, go
00:23:39
to center, and mix and repeat it like three or four times, you know. >> The state of the union. The state of the
00:23:46
union. The state of the union. And if you look at the state of the unit is good. It's good. It's good. It's good.
00:23:52
You know, and and it's a it's just a an eccentric way of speaking. >> Chris Rock used to do that and I would
00:23:57
make fun of him. I say, "Your act is only 30 minutes, but you put out an hour special because
00:24:02
you go, Obama." Then everyone laughs and he goes, "Barack Obama." And they laugh
00:24:09
and he goes, "President Barack O." And then they waiting for the funny part.
00:24:14
>> That's all he says. There's no >> Yeah. He sets it up and then he does his
00:24:17
joke, but I go, you just repeat everything. >> I know. Well, I'm friends with Barack
00:24:20
Obama. He says Chris Rock is his favorite comedian. >> Michelle and I laugh so hard when he
00:24:25
says Barack Obama over and over again and there's no punchline. Just my name.
00:24:29
We laugh all the time. It >> is funny. >> Right, Michelle? >> It's better than Barry.
00:24:36
>> What's his other name? >> Oh, Barry is a nickname or >> Sarrento.
00:24:41
>> Barry Sarrento. Isn't that his real name or >> I don't think so. I don't none of I
00:24:45
don't think so. >> Okay. Also on on race, let me just say at any of these award shows, I saw a
00:24:52
clip the other day saying, "And this this gentleman won >> and he's the first black director to win
00:24:59
for this document." I wish they would quit saying that because I think everyone,
00:25:04
>> we can't all be equal to you. Just stop separating like that. Oh, the first in
00:25:08
30 years to have a black actor win this. If you just say we're all actors, we're
00:25:14
all I think now this is my point of view that it just makes it more even and not
00:25:20
we're all just the same. We're all acting. >> When I won my Emmy Whoops, dude.
00:25:25
>> Oh boy. >> Flashback. They said they announced it and this is the 198th straight white
00:25:31
male that has won this award. And I was like, why? >> First pipsqueak. >> I don't want to I just But can I be a
00:25:38
person? Do I have to be? >> No. Because when I was even doing Just Shoot Me, they go, "You have a female
00:25:41
director this week." I go, "That's fine. Just is it a director?" Yeah. Okay, we
00:25:46
got it. >> Mhm. >> Like, you don't even have to say that. Female director. It feels like a little
00:25:52
not condescending, but a little diminishing. That's a good word. It's a little 5% instead of going, "We don't
00:25:58
have a regular director." You know what I mean? So, I was a big proponent of fighting.
00:26:04
>> I remember hearing that. That is a funny thing to say. We have a female director.
00:26:09
Um, what color eyes? Got blue eyes. Um, >> and then you're back in. Okay.
00:26:14
>> Yeah. And has >> long hair or short hair? >> Long hair. >> Anything to judge?
00:26:20
>> Yeah. >> Okay. >> Mhm. And then if it's a director, we got
00:26:24
Clint Eastwood. That's it. >> Oh, I I did get thrown around my car when we were driving on the road.
00:26:30
>> In more boring news. We should have a big crawl. >> How do you get more boring news?
00:26:35
Well, they were driving like a new Escalade or something and I was sitting on the way back and I was not strapped
00:26:42
in >> and when and they touched the brakes, but the newer cars that have you ever
00:26:48
seen automatic kind of locking brakes? >> Yeah. >> I was like, you're not used to them.
00:26:51
>> I went up to the dash. All the way to the dash. >> You went over the front seats and right?
00:26:56
>> Well, they were separate. Separate. So, I'm in the middle and I kind of went Oh.
00:26:59
And then but like three different times they were hitting hard >> and I'm holding on the back seat. I'm
00:27:04
like, "You can't just go a normal speed or do something." >> I always strap in if I can cuz I go
00:27:17
>> I'm trying to do you. I can't do you. You do the seat belt with sound effects.
00:27:21
>> No, the seat belt. I I don't have any good ones. >> I like tighter.
00:27:27
>> You always do. And then you go like that. Yeah. >> Well, I have airplane stick and it's
00:27:31
never not made the flight attendants laugh. Right. as we're starting to go. You can do this. Loosen it. Loosen up
00:27:36
your seat belt. If you're in the front row, which I was, loosen your seat belt
00:27:40
to like 4t long. And then right as you start taking off, you just go like this, like as if you're a rodeo.
00:27:46
>> You wrap it. Yeah. Like they go crazy. >> Yeah. She was doing her her seat belt
00:27:53
stick right next to me and she's looking at me and I'm like this. >> Mean it was comedic or just
00:27:59
>> No, she's doing her real one. I'm paying attention. I go, "I'm looking cuz no
00:28:03
one's looking. Not one person is listening." >> And she goes, "This is the horrible
00:28:08
doing it right in front of you." >> I'm like, "Well, you're not doing bits."
00:28:11
I >> There's that scene in Tommy Boy where Chris does a whole bit about
00:28:15
>> about that doing the >> Yeah. He puts on the Yeah. >> Puffs up.
00:28:20
>> Uh I had a really nice flight attendant once. Sometimes they break the rules
00:28:24
because I said I'm kind of a nervous flyer. So she goes, "Oh, okay. So we're
00:28:28
taking off. We're up like maybe 20 seconds in the air. Steep climb out. >> And I know she kind of sneaks around and
00:28:35
just hands me a beer. She gets out of her seat. >> Oh, I like that. >> You know what this one is? Reel me. I
00:28:41
like that cuz they like you. I said to this one, she came back later and it was just quick hop from I like that term,
00:28:48
quick hop from Dallas to San Antonio for the next show. And she goes, "Hey, can I
00:28:53
get you anything?" And I go, "Oh." She goes, "We don't have service, so what do
00:28:56
you want?" And I go, "Maybe just a little thing of water." >> She comes back and casually drops it
00:29:01
like it's a, >> you know, like a pass off, right? >> And it's a big bottle of water like
00:29:06
this. >> Oh, yeah. >> And then I'm like this nice. And then everyone else is looking at me and I'm
00:29:12
like this. And they're like waiting for water. They want that little Dixie cup.
00:29:16
Meanwhile, I'm like this. I'm water logged. I can't finish this thing. I
00:29:20
have too much water. I was on an overseas flight and they they I just got one of those like 45 ounces
00:29:28
>> and I just chugged it because I go, "Okay, I'm at altitude. I've had a few
00:29:32
adult beverages because of my nervousness. I'm going to dehydrated and then you have to go to the bathroom the
00:29:37
rest of the flight." >> All right, let's get to some hot takes. >> Hot takes. Okay.
00:29:44
>> Hot news. I wish we had beep beep boring stories. >> Not this one. What happened to that?
00:29:50
>> What? Boring story. >> We tried to do that. >> Oh, we didn't do this. Is a really
00:29:55
boring story. Love is Blind Star sparks outrage for dumping his fiance because I
00:30:01
saw this clip. I don't even know the show at all, but he prefers women. He's
00:30:05
delicately trying to say she's out of shape. >> And it's so horrible because A,
00:30:10
>> if we have a picture, if you can look her up, she's really pretty. B, I think
00:30:13
she's a doctor. And so he could do a lot worse is an understatement. And she's
00:30:20
going, "What's going on?" He's like, "I just >> I work out a lot." And she's like,
00:30:25
"Uhhuh." And he's like, "I just kind of like a girl that might want to
00:30:30
>> say something about a Pilates >> cruise by the gym." Yeah. And she he
00:30:34
finally after he dances around, he goes, "Looking for more of a Pilates by a girl
00:30:38
that rocks out Pilates like twice a day." >> And it was just not going well.
00:30:43
Everyone's cringing going, "Do not finish this." And she's like, "Uh-huh,
00:30:47
no, keep going." And he was just hanging himself. And then he finally goes, "You
00:30:51
get it, right?" And she's like, "Yeah, take it easy." And I was like, "Oh, I
00:30:54
don't even want to see the comments. Everyone's going to be like, you have a
00:30:57
beautiful doctor and you're worried about and she I I've seen pictures. She
00:31:02
doesn't look like any sort of out of shape anything." >> Well, what I would her best comeback was
00:31:07
said, "Look, okay, I I appreciate it, man, but I think you're looking for a
00:31:11
dude. You might need a gym rat. >> Can't women be soft and curvy? I mean,
00:31:17
Arnold, that was his thing. If a woman has better abs than me, I kick her out of the bed.
00:31:22
>> Yeah, I need to date You should maybe date the situation. >> You remember him?
00:31:29
>> Yeah, of course. Do you remember his uh that the guy who was also on that show
00:31:33
called The Predicament? >> I remember the uh conundrum. >> Okay, I'll see your conundrum and raise
00:31:40
you. >> I like predicament. You know, I did that on as a joke on talk the because the
00:31:45
predicament is kind of forboding. It's a little bit like what what do I do? >> We're in a bit of a predicament. Yeah.
00:31:50
>> But most men are not worried about a, you know, a musly woman, you know.
00:31:56
>> No, it's just, you know, it's a young guy. He's doesn't really
00:31:59
>> And he's just talking. Yeah. >> Yeah. He steps in [ __ ] Because when you
00:32:02
say that and she's just leaning there going, Mhm. Like, ladies, listen to this
00:32:07
[ __ ] And he's like, he should have said just listen, you're great and you're hot and why don't you get me some
00:32:13
free coding cough syrup. >> Use your connection. >> Oh, Greg, he she's got it if you want to
00:32:19
put it up. >> Yeah, I'll give you a prescription. >> I like there goes. He looks like a
00:32:24
doofus and she's gorgeous. Yeah. >> Hey, honey, >> write me a prescription for love.
00:32:31
>> Yeah, leave your uh prescription pad out. I want to write you love notes
00:32:35
every day. And she's like, "Um, I didn't see any love notes, but I do see that
00:32:38
you have a 100 extra Vicodins." >> He's like, "Oh, well, one prescription
00:32:44
for me and then one love." >> All right. >> Okay. This is the guy.
00:32:49
>> See, she's pretty already. >> Yeah. >> She looks like Demi Lovato.
00:32:54
>> Uh, and he's like, "So, anyway, I'm on the AB cruncher and I'd like to see you on the
00:33:02
Gravitron. I mean, maybe um should I keep talking? And she's like, "Yeah, keep talking."
00:33:09
>> There's so many people in the gym now. I mean, it must be a good business. I
00:33:12
don't know. It seems like they're packed with people trying to be strong.
00:33:16
>> I like a girl that knows her way around a kettle bell. That's what he was
00:33:19
saying. Uh yeah, I have no comeback. I'm speechless. >> All right, next story. That's good.
00:33:27
>> That was a dumb one, but it's fine. They're all dumb. >> No, it was great.
00:33:31
>> It was fantastic. I know a lot of people are on Rya and Tinder, but this is one that just pops
00:33:37
up my feed called It's Prison Connections. >> Okay, >> my name is Amy Jackson. I'm currently
00:33:45
incarcerated at Pocutello Women's Correctional Center in Idaho. My IDC is 129009 and you can reach me on the
00:33:52
Getting Out app. I'm tall, articulate, tattooed, and a total baddy. I'm also
00:33:57
into some pretty freaky [ __ ] so if you have a taste for the taboo, hit >> taste for the taboo. Oh, she's into some
00:34:02
weird [ __ ] >> Well, yeah. Freaky [ __ ] No, no, we we >> like later losers.
00:34:07
>> You had me at a low. >> You had me. I'm a baddie. And I'm like,
00:34:12
no [ __ ] you're a baddie. You're doing seven years for something. >> What a dandy.
00:34:17
>> She's a real dandy. I mean, >> it Yeah. >> I You know, someone might want to court
00:34:21
her, >> right? >> Yeah. I mean, if you're into sort of um you know, the monsters, vampirey kind
00:34:31
of, you know. >> Yeah. She's a little decorated. >> A little bit scary kind of thing.
00:34:37
>> Yeah. >> Cuz where does it go? What's where does the kink go?
00:34:41
>> Well, first of all, to date them, I don't know how I didn't scribble down
00:34:45
all that info, but they're in jail. I I guess the first order of business, if
00:34:50
you have some sort of love connection, >> right? >> What are you in for?
00:34:55
If it's, you know, right? It could be something harmless. It could. So, if you
00:34:59
can live with that, it's not that bad. >> Well, now I will court you, visit you,
00:35:05
write your letters until you get out, and then you can come stab me. >> Okay. I have a question for this kind of
00:35:11
stuff for you, Heather and Greg. Why is it that women seem to love murderers on Murders Row? They fall in
00:35:22
love with the murder on Murders Row. I I guess >> I mean they like bad guys that are in
00:35:28
trouble. >> Yeah. >> They know where they are at all times. Oh, yeah. Not out with other women.
00:35:34
>> They're not out with other women. They're stuck in jail. So, they're not
00:35:38
>> they're killers, but they're controllable and they're at your, you
00:35:41
know, I brought you some Twinkies. Hey, thank you, baby. >> But the problem is once they get out,
00:35:47
now they're free. So, they borrow your car and they stay at your house, but then you don't know what they're doing.
00:35:52
That's where it starts. They start to have some hiccups. Do they ever get suspicious where they come in with the
00:35:58
police report? Like, I I love you, Danny, but it says here there's a photo of you stabbing this guy. Oh, that's all
00:36:05
Photoshop. >> I know. Are they still talking about that? I mean, it's one day.
00:36:09
>> Crazy. >> You throw up my best day and my worst day. It's >> I hate killing people. Look at me. Come
00:36:16
on. But a jury, >> if I got that girl in prison, I'd be like, "Are you taking Pilates in there?"
00:36:25
>> Cuz I'm looking for a Pilates fit from the last from the last story. I I
00:36:31
understood. I was just trying to come back like ping pong. I was just thinking of Mike Tyson,
00:36:36
>> his six years in prison, and he was just he said, "I had a great time in prison.
00:36:40
I had the best time in prison. I got I ate like a king." You know, he was [ __ ] All the T-bone steaks
00:36:46
will come in for me. I have a glass of red wine. Everything. I mean, he had it so wired and he was so beloved.
00:36:52
>> Oh, he Oh, they love him. I'm sure. >> Yeah. You know, >> the guards are like, "Mike, what can I
00:36:57
get you?" >> Mike, what do you want tonight? A thong. Yeah. And he had like a ribeye steak,
00:37:02
you know, and could I get a VHS TV thing in here? I want to watch uh I want to watch
00:37:08
>> No, I was going to go for Dicky Robbins, you know, David. I was going to go for
00:37:13
one of your movies. >> Oh, good. Yeah, we can get you that. Okay, champ. Let's see if we can get you
00:37:18
a laser disc or something. >> But I just did cross my mind just to make people very very happy is that we
00:37:24
do our because we we play we're playing a few dates. So, we're coming on.
00:37:28
>> Yeah. >> And then we come out at the end and you do because you can get into Joe Dirt
00:37:33
like that and I can get into G like that. So, we just come out as Joe Dirt and G and take questions. Take
00:37:41
questions, ask them. >> Yeah, make the crowd happy. >> I have no adlib skills. I've written
00:37:48
>> Qard. >> Well, but you use Q card, so it's just, you know, just a thought.
00:37:54
>> It's a possibility. We we will we just did a gig together. >> I know. And u you uh you crushed as
00:38:03
usual. >> It was great. You were so funny. Um >> Oh my gosh. All right, next one. Let's see. Let's
00:38:11
see. We're really now we're cooking with gas. >> We are on fire. All right.
00:38:19
Influencer faces $1 million lawsuit. Oh, I heard about this story. >> Okay. What is this?
00:38:25
>> Oh, she is giving tips on being in a hotel room. And if you don't have a
00:38:32
washer and dryer, you can wash your underpants in the coffee machine. Heather, you've heard
00:38:37
>> top creator is facing a lawsuit. >> Oh, she's facing a lawsuit online.
00:38:41
>> Tara Woodcock, who describes herself as a health and nutrition blogger, shared a
00:38:45
video showing people how to wash underwear using a hotel coffee maker while traveling. In the video, Tara, if
00:38:51
you run out of clean underwear, you can place it inside the coffee filter compartment, close the lid, and press
00:38:57
the brew button. The machine then sprays hot water over the fabric. She suggests
00:39:01
drying the underwear with a bathroom hair dryer before wearing it again. The video quickly went viral. Many viewers
00:39:08
said this avoid using hotel coffee machines. Days later, several guests realized they had stayed at the same
00:39:15
hotel as Terra and had already used the in room coffee makers. And who makes coffee? Who's the next person making?
00:39:21
>> To calm the situation, the hotel reportedly offered refunds to recent guests and replaced all coffee machines
00:39:27
on the property. The hotel has now filed a lawsuit against Tara Woodcock seeking
00:39:31
about $11 million >> million in damages for financial loss and reputational harm. The story has
00:39:38
sparked debate over the name of the hotel and hygiene while traveling. >> No, they should. But people are figuring
00:39:43
it out. >> Would you still use a hotel coffee machine? >> Yeah, that's
00:39:48
>> Huh. Well, >> I'm so glad she went viral. No, when I was I was a while back was in Europe
00:39:56
with my wife and uh >> Oh, >> it's pretty easy to use the basin of the
00:40:04
sink >> and you have you you just there's very hot water there and you put tie a little
00:40:10
package of soap and you just then you rinse it >> and then you hang the underwear or
00:40:16
t-shirt or socks over a thing and it dries overnight or maybe a little haird dryer.
00:40:22
And then you rinse out the freaking basin. You're not in there seeing all this stuff coming out of from the
00:40:28
armpits and out of the crotch area. All you see is clear fresh water when you rinse out and run the WATER ON THE
00:40:36
[ __ ] BASIN. >> Oh boy. I just I got a lot outpants away. You did? Yeah. I let you go.
00:40:44
I wanted to kind of get some some >> So, people are sickened by this. >> Um, people with small lives can get just
00:40:54
crazy about stuff, you know? You got to have a kind of a lowfi existence. Like, you just you go to the supermarket,
00:41:01
you're feeling the avocados. [ __ ] avocados, man. They're all gushy. >> [ __ ] thousand avocados. God damn it.
00:41:07
>> That's me, mad old. Uh, okay. We'll go to the next one. Underpants in the cough
00:41:12
machine. we all agree is possibly gross >> that it went viral and then our clip
00:41:16
will go viral. >> Yeah. >> Oh, this is sad. I'm I'm sure Heather
00:41:21
knows about this story. Punch the baby monkey. His name is Punch. >> Okay.
00:41:27
>> Right. >> Oh, Punch. >> I think he's in China. >> I'm not going to show it, but he's been
00:41:32
bullied. >> Okay. >> Has he been bullied or not? >> Meet Punch. The six-month-old Japanese
00:41:40
monkey was abandoned by his >> Oh, I thought you were going to correct it. I abandoned caring for him day and
00:41:46
night. >> No, he's sad. We shouldn't even show it. >> And his surrogate mom, a plushy
00:41:50
orangutan that is now his safe place. >> He hangs out with his little stuffed
00:41:53
doll. So cute. >> Punch's story went viral with many both on and offline cheering him on. Now he
00:42:00
is slowly joining the >> Does he think it's real? >> No. He gets sad and scared so he hugs
00:42:05
his little squishy dog, >> but he knows it's a fake. But he knows it's enough. It looks enough like an
00:42:10
animal, but he knows it's >> his only friend, Dana. >> Maybe he thinks it's actually real. What
00:42:14
I What is the IQ of a little monkey? >> What if he thinks it's like weekend at
00:42:19
Bernie and he's just dragging around? He thinks it's >> What if he thinks and I don't think this
00:42:22
would happen that he thinks it's David Spade? >> What if he thinks that's all we do?
00:42:30
>> What if he thinks it's a G doll cuz his eyes are bad? >> What if I don't know what else.
00:42:40
>> No, but everyone's bullying him. >> I love it. I mean, look, I mean, you
00:42:44
sleep with a special pillow and you you do suck your thumb at night. I mean, everyone needs comfort.
00:42:50
>> That's true. I I think the world feels bad for him. People online are like, I
00:42:54
will fly over to [ __ ] China and I will save this guy. I'll beat the [ __ ]
00:42:57
out of every one of those other monkeys. People get really worried, you know, they get worked up because animals mean
00:43:02
a lot. Well, it's like you're around a one and a halfyear-old and no one can take their
00:43:08
eyes off the toddler. All the you're just staring at the innocence and the lack of awareness. And so the little
00:43:15
monkey doesn't know how ridiculous he looks. If you could speak monkey sound,
00:43:19
you tell him it looks stupid. And the little monkey be like, >> "Yeah, he has no friends.
00:43:26
>> You look dumb." >> That's what they chat about there. Oh,
00:43:33
I'm intermining. Don't be stupid and drag around that stuffed animal. No, it's not real.
00:43:42
>> You'll be happy to know that that stupid animal sold out immediately online.
00:43:47
Immediately >> and is opening for us >> at our next >> in October, our next big casino.
00:43:54
>> Do we have a gig in next year? No, we have one. >> Yeah, we we have one that's up around
00:43:58
the same area we just played, but further north. Okay. >> Yeah. Mhm. >> Those are fun gigs.
00:44:04
>> And Lincoln. We had a great time in Lincoln. Great big great big great crowd
00:44:07
>> in California. Thunder Valley. >> Thunder Valley. Incredible audience.
00:44:11
>> Okay, next one. I got to wake up. >> Yeah, I know. It's just this, you know,
00:44:15
these late afternoon. It's really normally my nap time. Okay, here we go. >> What is this? Oh, underground noises.
00:44:25
Let's see what these are. A farmer in Kentucky decides to dig a huge hole on his property after hearing
00:44:33
this loud construction noise coming from deep underneath his farm. His farm is in
00:44:39
the middle of nowhere. >> All right, guys. >> Well, 6 foot dog here >> and we've hit rock. But listen to this.
00:44:48
>> Okay, I'm listening. Ah, someone trying to get out. terrifying. >> I don't know.
00:45:00
>> Is he hitting rock or is he hitting concrete? Is this some type of underground construction
00:45:07
>> or is some mob guy was hit by >> aliens live under there? >> Yeah. Or it's just a funny sound effect
00:45:15
the guy's making. >> It's me under there going I'm going this. That's called doing a
00:45:22
panting dog. This video was taken from another section of his property. >> So, it just sounds
00:45:33
>> What's that noise? >> This sound has been going on for months
00:45:36
now. >> Still with no answers. >> Freak me out. >> It almost feels like there's some kind
00:45:41
of construction going on >> underneath his farm. >> Too easy to fake though, right?
00:45:47
>> I don't know. I mean, to dig at He dug six feet. >> The farmer says he can feel the ground
00:45:52
fiber. Oh, see >> there's definitely something going on underneath. >> I don't like this voice over. We're on
00:45:58
an AI voiceover. It's kind of scary. >> At least it doesn't have that scary
00:46:02
music outside of >> there's something being built underneath his farm.
00:46:08
>> There's probably >> Well, they don't What they don't put in
00:46:11
here is >> okay >> is the guy put his house up for sale for $89 and he finally got a finally got a
00:46:19
buyer. Who wants to buy a property? Yeah, I wouldn't tell anybody. >> Do you have to disclose if you have
00:46:27
aliens underneath your house in a secret tunnel? >> We probably talked about this. Have you
00:46:32
heard a noise at night that scared you in your house? >> Of course. >> And what did it sound like?
00:46:38
>> I'm the biggest puss. Yeah. I have a locked door and I >> What did it sound like?
00:46:46
>> Spade. What's up, guy? I go, "Nothing. I'm going to bed. If I keep hearing
00:46:56
this, I'm coming out." No, I have I'll go out there. I'll start some [ __ ]
00:47:00
[ __ ] >> I got the same thing. >> What do you got? >> You don't need spade.
00:47:08
>> That's what they say. >> I made it up. >> Who is it? Gerbit.
00:47:13
I actually talked to our mutual uh manager and he uh loves our impression of him.
00:47:20
>> No way. >> He said, "I love it." Yeah, it's a nice little hop.
00:47:25
>> Yeah. Open your shirt, your heart will fall out. >> You like money?
00:47:32
>> Who's funnier than you? >> Yeah. I go, I guess Danny just told him
00:47:36
the same thing. He's got Zack. He's got so many funny people. I you know it's quite a little
00:47:44
cavalcade. That's >> cavalcade of comedians. >> Yeah. >> Uh oh, another one.
00:47:53
>> Oh, where's that one about? Is that one? >> Okay. Mom dami blasted for requiring
00:48:00
five forms of ID to shovel. >> Five. What the [ __ ] >> Right. Well, DSA opposes the uh voter
00:48:07
ID. Yeah. Yeah. I Trump brought that up. >> Is that true? I mean, he's he says, "If
00:48:14
you want to >> shovel snow as a regular citizen, because it's not going fast enough,
00:48:20
>> come down and we will." >> He goes, "Bring a shovel. We'll get
00:48:23
you." >> They Well, you'll they'll pay like 29 bucks an hour, but you need an a for
00:48:28
five forms of ID. >> I thought it was two, but yeah. >> Well, just if it's even one. Yeah.
00:48:34
>> You know, >> I think people are saying if you if you don't need one to vote, why would you
00:48:39
need one to shovel snow? These are the stresses of being a mayor. >> I don't know why you'd have to identify
00:48:46
who you are as an American citizen to vote. That sounds a little weird. I mean, >> yeah, I don't break my personal space.
00:48:54
>> I saw a three-year-old purchasing a court of vodka. And I said, "Aren't you
00:48:57
going to ID him?" And the guy was like, "I don't know, man. I mean, you know,
00:49:01
does he really need an ID? He comes in every day. He's my Sammy friend." And
00:49:06
the three-year-old's like, "Thanks, mister." You know, I got carded at
00:49:10
Chili's my last trip. Card. >> You did? >> Card. I didn't tell you, Heather.
00:49:18
Carded. Cuz I ordered Titos with my Diet Coke on the side. And they were like, "Can we get some ID?" And I go, "Well,
00:49:27
>> I don't know if I have it." And they go, "Sorry, we just got to give them
00:49:30
everybody to get their ID." And I go, "Okay, can I just have And then I go, Bobby, why don't you get
00:49:38
some Titos?" And he goes, "Okay." And then he showed his ID. And then I just
00:49:43
Then the guy just put it down with me. He goes, "Sorry, we just got to get ID."
00:49:47
I go, "I get it." And how old I look? I know they say, "Oh, we have to do
00:49:53
this." But there was a guy, I swore he was probably 88 or something. They were
00:49:57
carding. I He was like, >> that was me. Tale of the Crips, you know, like you honestly, but they they kind of have
00:50:06
to, but that three-year-old, I don't know, maybe it was, you know, maybe I misread that, but he
00:50:11
>> Who did The Voice of the [ __ ] Keeper? >> Uh Bob Gowweight, >> comedier.
00:50:19
>> Okay. And what did it sound? >> You remember John Casier? Comedian. He
00:50:22
was on Star Search. >> Sure. What did he sound like as the Cripke keeper? Welcome to the
00:50:30
>> Let me tell you something. If you're if any comedians ask other comedians
00:50:36
about comedians, they always know the other guy. It's so funny. >> It's still true.
00:50:42
>> It's so funny. >> Everybody's worked with everyone somewhere along the line like, "Oh yeah,
00:50:45
we did Rooster Tea Feathers." you know, so it's >> there's always it's a it's still kind of
00:50:50
a small group of people that are stupid enough to pursue a career and standup comedy with all the pain and all the
00:50:58
especially the first three years. If you can get past three years, >> maybe you can settle in. But man, some
00:51:04
of those early bombs, woo, >> they just start hearing like Nate make, everyone makes so much money, Shane, and
00:51:10
you just go, A, that's lightning in a bottle, and B, you have to be really good and and also it's taken them
00:51:16
forever to get there. >> Um, yeah. I mean, if if someone wants to be a a Nate or or or a uh Shane or or a
00:51:27
or a Spade, then they they've got to put in uh >> you got to grind. You got to do your
00:51:32
10,000 hours of just all those clubs and everything. But yeah. >> Yeah. >> Um well, we'll end on that. Um
00:51:40
>> that upbeat note. >> Yeah. >> I don't have my sound effects. Remember
00:51:48
I used to have >> I know what happened to that. >> I'll get them down here.
00:51:52
>> I have a new new character that has a little prop that I'll do next week.
00:51:57
>> Oh, cliffhanger. Cliffhanger bump. >> A lot of good feedback on Eddie Veter
00:52:04
last week on the other pod. And uh >> I could have gone on for another hour
00:52:08
with him once you start getting into the uh you know classic rock bands and and and the people he's played with and
00:52:14
stuff, you know. >> Yeah, he's a stud. >> That's >> Remember when I was telling who the
00:52:18
greatest rock voices were? I said, Eddie, if you're not on it, don't get
00:52:21
mad. Don't get mad. This is my list. Can't get mad. >> I'm upset you didn't do Freddy Mercury.
00:52:26
>> I know. I would have gotten a Freddy Mercury. Well, we were kind of we were
00:52:30
kind of thinking '9s in a way, weren't we? Or >> It's hard because if you think rock or
00:52:34
if you think >> there's so many different kind of voices. I wanted to get to the female
00:52:38
rockers, but we didn't get we we ran out of time. >> We uh we we kind of um we forgot a few
00:52:45
people, so we want to clear that up. Freddy Mercury has had quite the pipes. What a tremendous talent that was.
00:52:50
Quite. And of course, Carly Simon could sing her, you know, sing her pants off or in Ed's case,
00:52:57
>> you Did you remember Live Aid and and how big, you know, they talked about
00:53:01
Queen at Live Aid? I just saw on Instagram that um who went after Queen, who would have to follow Queen and they
00:53:11
said people wanted to move their spot and David Bowie said, "I'll go >> and killed
00:53:17
>> and did great." >> Well, the thing about Queen, which is >> um just for a few seconds here,
00:53:24
>> is the range of what they did. Even though it it has its own sensibility,
00:53:28
that's a Queen song, but you remember I mean we are the champions. Just that
00:53:33
song, not that it's ubiquitous, but the way it started, we the chorus of we are
00:53:39
is so brilliant. And of course, my um Bohemian Rap City Whoops. Oh boy. >> How do we get to this? Oh my god,
00:53:49
Wayne's World. Oh my god, how did I forget? >> Sorry, I apologize. Mama miago. Uh,
00:53:58
>> I still hurt. You would have not liked that scene. >> Penel was your director. We did it in
00:54:04
black. >> Oh, you did it right. >> And no, I and I wasn't doing it hard
00:54:07
enough cuz I got a bad neck and she's like, >> spade, go hard. >> You got to kind of just do your whole
00:54:12
body. Oh, they were telling you to go harder. >> Yeah, cuz I can't keep up with Farley.
00:54:16
He's like no bones in his neck. >> He's always amorphous. >> I'm like, meet me in the middle. I can't
00:54:24
keep up with that. >> Anyway, it was nice meeting you and uh >> pleasure. Same bat time next week.
00:54:31
>> We'll see you next time. Yeah. Thank you very much. >> Peace out everybody.
00:54:38
>> Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow
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00:54:54
>> Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Danny Carvey
00:54:58
and David Spade, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior
00:55:06
producer is Greg Holtzman. And the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech. Booking by Cultivated
00:55:12
Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogerty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa
00:55:20
Wester, Hillary Shuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gainner, Shan Cherry, Kurt Kourtney, and Lauren Vieiraa. Reach out
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00:55:36
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