00:00:00
[Music] I used to watch porn in the 80s and I'd see some guy with some [ __ ] Wang and then some girl with dislocate her jaw like an
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anacon and I go is this even possible maybe I was mixing that up with a nature Chan I don't know I don't I won't even I won't even go there I don't even know what to say
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again what color am I [Music] yeah sorry about these bullet holes behind me but um we're we're working on the house or
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something Jesus Christ some grassy null stuff going on there okay Christ Christ Christ Lots going on Dana if we're starting let's start this is
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start Ted and we're almost done okay um hi everybody I have a story about R Aid which is you know obviously love that's already an eye-catcher ear
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catcher oh what happened at Right Aid yeah right Aid okay I want to hear because I I yeah go so I have to go to r
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a day and night you know celebrities they're just like us so I don't even I'm getting
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toothpaste I go to the biggest rate on Sunset it's literally got 15 items left and it's about an acre 15 I mean it's don't do that you can't abuse
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that you can't abuse the look go ahead okay so you're going down the aisle and you're going down the aisle mhm okay figuring out my hair okay
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I'm going down the aisle and I see a guy walking in huge dude with his with his shirt pulled up right he's obviously on
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some hard times maybe he's homeless I but he comes in and he says that there's two people working and he's talking to
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them I don't know what he's saying but when I walk in they go sir you'll have to pull your shirt down by the way I
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didn't think they give anybody order like that you know what I mean they usually don't say anything but he goes oh I'm sorry it's so hot I'm drenched
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and sweat but he's being very polite that's all I knowed the big story okay he's being polite so he's still
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Meandering around I go get my three things it is like a war zone there's no toothpaste in a whole aisle there's one
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toothpaste so I have to take that shitty one uh it looks like Crest it's like coloring but it's not it's obviously
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some knockoff but I say fine so I walk just bear is it bear I mean there's just yeah there's there's no there's none in that one I did a video maybe I'm hitting him between
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stocking I don't know yeah yeah so but I get only three things so I walk up I get
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in line now the two helpers that work there aren't there Cashers now my man comes up behind me
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with his stuff I don't even know what he's getting mid drift mid drift guy Mikey midriff oh Mikey midriff comes up
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behind right behind me uh rubbing his stomach just being just killing time and then I am scared CU we're just standing there and so I go I don't know where these chicks went you know I try to
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buddy I say something like it's me and you against the world you know I'm your pal friends yeah yeah I'm your friends
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yeah and then I look over and there's a you know Thrifty has like an ice cream cone part oh oh that you got to have an
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ice cream store inide inside of R A yeah Thrifty Ice Cream yeah right so been there forever they're in everyone so she's down there helping some woman forever and the woman's like yeah
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Captain Crunch she's like I'm like that's not an ice cre come on like and I just want to get moving so the guy
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behind yeah it could be an ice cream flavor yeah and the lady's like Captain I'm like they don't we don't it's
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not but anyway the guy behind me goes shoot I think I'm gonna have to steal this stuff I got to get going and who
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says that out loud I go yeah man I'm thinking about that you know and then I only have three things I'm not going to bankrupt the store but I'm like I should probably by the way the whole La is the
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honor System now there's no real laws or rules it's just like either wait l or you don't you just leave so he's being
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kind of cool but they don't come back so he says uh shoot hey I gotta take off I
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gotta go I just got to steal it and I go cool you know I give him the thumbs up cool so he runs out then he runs into a
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a man and woman with their three kids and he goes oh sorry sorry sorry I just stole this I got to go I got I'm in a
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hurry so he goes in and and then I thought of my head yeah I go where's he going like you know what I mean he's got jury duty why why why do you got to rush out I just saw your laying on the ground
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he's got to get out of here get back got go yeah plus I thought he was there more for the AC because that's kind of why I
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was there but he just kind of chilled and then the people I go oh are you okay and they go were you in Benchwarmers I go okay so is this a lot going on so we
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took a picture of them anyway that's all that's the whole thing that's a good story though I think it's a good story I I like just from in a a human level that
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you uh kind of were chill with the guy yeah you were warm to him you know he's probably hurting and he was polite did he have no pack four pack six-pack or
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12pack no he was a little chunky no I'm not going to say that Dan I take it back
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let's not let's not go there it was a I think it was a mesh shirt he was going with like a look
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look so I think you have to be pretty ripped to have that I've been in line at right we on the other side of the riot a someone is having a bad day and
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everyone's waiting in line to get their meds and we're all kind of and then it suddenly on the other side of the
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stores and everyone's like everyone freezes will there be violence or right now I need my medicine I have to I get probably I probably have
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about five prescriptions do the math I won't say which ones they are no and sometimes you get a prescription they go
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would you like to talk to the pharmacist they go all right and they kind of man you over you doing Dana got any
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questions no I've taken it daily for 40 years but how are you doing sir what questions would I
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have he been doing going up any at this Comedy Store lately like oh these questions he has he has some for you
00:06:30
oh yeah well the thing is I'm at a level of so-called Fame that I can wander around a mall and wander around places with nothing and then all of a sudden someone goes hey I love the church SL I
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literally get scared I jump I forget that I was on TV yeah yeah that's funny yeah you sure got a lot of fans out there I'll tell you that my pharmacist
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goes do you know how to take these pills I go for a while I've been putting him on my mouth and then drinking water with him is that still work and he's like yeah you could do that my gu picks up
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the bottle shakes them near his ear and goes hey do you really need these [Laughter] really what okay now we're playing
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tennis what else do your guy do I go like if you have something that like if you have medication you have to take
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every day I like when a guy goes you can get 30 of these I go I don't want to come here I have to come here all the time like just give me stuff that I
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don't have to keep [ __ ] coming back like you the [ __ ] great lady that does it to you oh oh you want I'm GNA
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have to call Dr here's a thing that happens so you your doctor calls it in you want one a day so it's 30 for a month then you get
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the thing you bring it home and it's 15 oh and then you go back and they go oh the insurance wouldn't cover it it was an extra1
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38 so we only gave you 15 exactly I go here's $10 this will cover the next five years of that just give me all of them what sleep year we gave you
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28 well if you get sleep medication it's like a bank heist with certain people it's like okay that's you want I don't
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know if it's ready all right I'll wait mhm okay dude they tell me cough Ser same thing they go why don't you wait over there while we push the [ __ ] bank robbery buzzer so the cops I'm like
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I need cough it's coding I'm sorry there are people that need things for things still it's not just abuse rather than
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just chugging coating I by the way side note I love it but I had bronchitis and pneumonia and
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the guy goes they don't like us to just give this away I go I'm the exact person that needs it you [ __ ] like give it to
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me he's like they don't like us just throwing this [ __ ] around I I'm not Little Wayne I need it I'm not
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putting it with my slurpie like I need to I mean I will anyway it's just like got weird anyway phes are funny yes
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Pharmacy are funny got it cut we have too much to talk about I will say I have to plug my gigs because I'm going to
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Denver I want to give you permission let's have an edit go hey David so you don't have to bring it up where and your
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fans see you in the in theing you know this is hard to talk about I know you don't want to showbo or promote but
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please just do it I've got the Venetian coming up with Nikki Glazer I've got um Minneapolis Indianapolis I've got Hartford connectic
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four in Florida boyy look at this [ __ ] oh my neck of the wood Seattle we got Providence r i
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[Music] oh yeah we got Kansas City oh Denver I'm filming something so I got two that
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night that jeez I wish I had a map I can't 11th I think yeah anyway other than that yeah who who who Okay Pop Quiz who wrote the song where the line is I've
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Been Everywhere man is that what he says I've Been Everywhere I hear that commercials I
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don't know I know I don't know well it's like you're like Willie Nelson I don't even know I just know I've Been Everywhere Man you're like Will Nelson
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on road again yeah I know that one can't wait to get back to Indianapolis before
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we get to our our uh but anyway go see my friend David he's one of the funniest people uh in Western the Western Hemisphere you won't be sorry um and we have the my last question is about the
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Olympics because we got a few stories coming up then we have a guest at the end what oh we got a guest at the end uh
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yeah do we do yeah do if it's say his name should we promote it if if this is the first part of this well they can stick around and figure it out okay well it is Olympics oriented or is my friend
00:11:07
says orientated they're both we're the first podcast in our quadrant to have the Olympic gold medalist Cole Hawker oh yeah Cole Haw
00:11:20
and we we I'm a track nut we do a deep dive um he's very Charming so listen to that stay tuned for that yeah stay tuned
00:11:27
that's in a couple between that great thing is us doing whatever we do for a few more minutes I will say in the
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Olympics did you see we did talk about Snoop but flavor flave is sort of floating around love that guy he's funny
00:11:39
is I think they got him because is his big clock a stopwatch that would be smart you know what I mean go yeah
00:11:48
go Gooding yeah if he modified it to look like an old fashion big stopwatch and was timing people damn that would have been ftic with his sideway yeah got
00:11:59
a clipboard oops real gun and the runners can can read the result from 100 yards away yeah while they're running yeah okay I'm doing pretty good also he's very mysterious he's like does he
00:12:11
have a Social Security number like I don't know him because a guy kind of comes out of the woodwork then he goes
00:12:17
away comes back not sure if he's rapping anymore or music I don't know but everyone loves them I just go by the premise that there's so much show business that no one knows what anyone's
00:12:28
doing doing if you told me flavor flave just did a European tour sold out I go oh okay okay yeah who keeps track I mean
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you just tell people I I should tell people that too that's a great point because you just don't know if yeah he
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just sold out stadiums and you go yeah oh oh I didn't know that man so if you were gonna not be David Spade and name
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yourself something what would it be five seconds spudly Spud okay does it have to
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be like that what's your no that's good I'd be Dane of the de I'd be big dick Mcgee because that one people want to try to figure it out like is it true or is he just saying H my my
00:13:06
mine would be it won't fit easily mine would be bring some WD40 whatever that okay we'll do poo later flavor flave would you at a
00:13:20
certain point I'd get like an aluminum clock it's too heavy on my neck I couldn't pull that thing around you know
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I'd have the money to get a solid gold clock he does have money but oh yeah well please answer me this and tell me
00:13:33
this flavor flave must have a deal with Kool-Aid Kool-Aid flavor flavor flave Kool-Aid oh yeah I want apple I want
00:13:45
Cherry how about flavor flave what what what flavor flave do you want you'll find out later yeah it okay it's for for a seven-year-old I want flavor
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flave cuz it's just sounds different okay I thought you going to say timx like he should get a deal with a clock
00:14:04
oh I was going by the nickname that nickname has nothing to do with time he should have been called the human time
00:14:10
machine.com flavor flave is a cool name that's a smart one to get it's hard to get yes yes it is okay let's go do some
00:14:18
headlines because we got to get to our guest so I don't want to waste too much time let's do it [Music]
00:14:30
all right give us anything uh I I have these things and we'll just say okay before they start let me see is this
00:14:37
about the Olympics they wouldn't do us like that I'm clearly hallucinating right now looks like let see what it is
00:14:44
we'll figure it out sound up we're gonna talk about this when I've calmed down but what just happened I know that they did not advertise this as confirm
00:14:57
musical guest red hot Snoop Dogg and Billy eish and then have those three artists zoom in on a zoom meeting and put it on the on the screen the small
00:15:08
screen I know they didn't do that I know they wouldn't sell tickets in good faith to people here in Paris and say come on
00:15:14
we all these artists and then show a small TV screen of them zooming in I know they wouldn't do that I think I
00:15:20
think they're in Malibu Dana I think yeah they wouldn't do were they were in La attitude they would do this to us you're selling tickets to a concert at the end of the Olympics with
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red hot and Snoop was it he's there Snoop must have got some kind of SuperSonic jet because you know he doesn't play make sure not there for the adverti show
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that is a bit of a bamboozle and I don't like to use that word but I think it is is what I'm clear what she just said so
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they said like I'm going to De leopard in a couple weeks with joury and Steve Mill go to Sofi stadium and they put up
00:16:00
a big screen and they're doing a show in Paris and I'm watching that oh I that's
00:16:06
what happened they were all here in America doing the concert and they saw it on a zoom call she oh on a zoom she
00:16:13
go I'm watching a zoom meeting with all these people like on a huge screen like well I got got to give
00:16:21
it to your mama you want to get Give It Away Give It Away give it away now continue and Dr Dre I thought it was
00:16:32
very cool from just someone watching watching it on the TV yeah I mean I I thought it was LA but I didn't know they said it was there okay next one that's good she has an AR no that's that's crazy funny
00:16:46
crazy okay this is oh this is something about the Olympics oh this is a cringe moment I
00:16:53
this girl hurt her leg in the Olympics yes and they come up to help her now watch plays out okay her legs hurt
00:17:01
someone help her she's hurt she's down there two people now coach maybe helping her talking to her talking to her might
00:17:08
be a fencer this guy's helping they need to let her sit down they need to get her
00:17:13
out of there thank God a guy brings a chair tells the coach put her in this chair oh for me thank you the uninjured uninjured man sits in the chair to
00:17:26
illustrate how to sit in a chair yeah maybe that's he said later I was just showing her how to sit why would the
00:17:32
healthy gu sit in the chair it must have been illustrative they tap on the shoulder goes oh thanks man I'm wiped
00:17:37
out Oh you mean for that broken okay no I'm s i it was so quick look so comfortable he had bright yellow pants
00:17:44
on he couldn't resist lowering his butt into a chair God if Spade saw a chair and I was standing for more than eight minutes I'd be [ __ ] give me that God your thing is you're always trying to
00:17:55
stand you're always trying to tr stand and when I'm standing I need to sit that's what a bad neck will do for
00:18:03
you you just want the other one all the time I think you got to go to ride a you need some medicine for
00:18:10
that that guy had to go he goes I gotta get going man I go he goes do you have I go what about me and he goes are you on
00:18:17
a TV show right now I go I mean I he goes not right now I go no he goes I gotta go you don't need to go I got to
00:18:24
go there's there's your thumbnail that's another good thumb with the straw I don't have my eyebrow shoots up I got to get some I got to tame that down with some gorilla glues jeez well I'm on it
00:18:36
okay next one I'm working our way to the guest oh this is funny wait oh that the
00:18:43
average Olympian in the Olympics is prettier than Miss Universe I mean that Miss Universe is very pretty but I
00:18:48
thought Miss Universe and the average Olympian well I would say and I don't know whether it's age related but um
00:18:56
there was seemed to be a disproportionate amount of extremely attractive athletes um and so it you know I I'll say from Heather's listening you know
00:19:09
from the female perspective and the male perspective it seems like you're winning the life of Lottery yes you're going to
00:19:15
be super talented you're going to the Olympics you're G to get paid millions of dollars and you're incredibly good-look oh okay thank you yeah that's
00:19:23
right and there and there's pretty split that equal amount of female and male greatl looking it was it was more the greatl looking Olympics it was everyone was like all the runners all the dudes
00:19:34
I'm like this guy's a stud one guy had a headband he's cool I'm like God dang they get it all I guess no I got their
00:19:39
sunglasses they're taking them off you know I don't I don't I they're taking them off they taking off the glasses you
00:19:46
know what's up you know I don't think they did it intentionally but someone put up the sign orgy Village and they
00:19:51
took it down and set of Olympic Village oh yeah let's roll let's roll a clip from [ __ ] Olympic Village
00:19:59
you got more thumbnails than a thumbnail Factory I'm just trying to keep it alive over here in my [ __ ] bayroot wall
00:20:07
there it is does my hair make you happy my hair isn't bad today but it's a little messy but look it looks like it's just you know what it is it's
00:20:19
Untamed yeah my face looks like I slept on for a couple days but it's waking up it'll wake up in a couple when I get look at my picture I'm just focusing on you I took all the mirrors down this is
00:20:32
my only mirror when I'm on Zoom I go what the [ __ ] um okay next one we're getting
00:20:39
there Daya we're we're kind of that's all right oh this is what you do when you're rich Mark Zuckerberg made a
00:20:44
statue of his wife in his backyard Wow money to burn Productions it's it's gigantic it's it's she she's an Adonis or something or
00:20:55
something is that's her hair or something uh um I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to call it 10 million for
00:21:02
that yeah I would do it for him for 10 million I'd find some old green statue from like Avatar you know out did you see that Zuckerberg you know we had the
00:21:15
robotic kind of chipet hair and sort of the glycerin face all smooth and now he's got all kind of frothy hair and it's weing casual clo he's having a midlife crisis at 38 he wants to go back
00:21:27
to 17 go ahead I want to look better all the time and I want to get enough money to where I look great and everyone just
00:21:34
goes what happened I go I don't know nothing I just look way better well they got all all kinds all
00:21:41
kinds that Shippy has that huge monster 3,000 Zuckerberg or B yacht it's all the
00:21:49
same they go out they go out and each one has a pharmacy on it probably you know pilot studio and a surgical center
00:21:56
and Urgent Care they and a small army and a helicopter helicopter repair shop Bowling Alley all the all the all the accoutrements those Yachts this year and they're like you wouldn't believe it's
00:22:10
unreal they just like famous people walking around because they get paparazzi you
00:22:15
know well I put this out any Saudi Prince that wants David and I to come to their party and just hang out and be
00:22:21
Charming we're we're we're there 20 minute set at night we'll double we'll do a 20 minute set we're not cheap but we're less than Beyonce yeah
00:22:34
okay next one okay we're like a real professional show okay is this funny let me see it is kind of that scared me I
00:22:42
don't know what this is okay here's the video kid with this oh he eats this [ __ ] hamburger oh
00:22:50
gross that's how wide he can open his mouth that's like an anaconda eating an elk is that real I mean no so people listening to this he opened his mouth
00:23:02
like alien in the first and second alien he had a second set of teeth I mean he dislocated his jaw you you could have put a football in his mouth exactly what
00:23:13
what I used to watch porn in the 80s and I'd see some guy with some [ __ ] Wang and then some girl with dislocate her
00:23:20
jaw like an anacon and I go is this even possible maybe I was mixing that up with a nature Channel I don't I don't I won't even I won't even
00:23:33
go there I don't even know what to say again what color am I that wall is dark green behind me so that shows
00:23:40
you everything I have I'm have blinds and things and go ahead okay next one I'm the color of my room it's all brown and you look good though you look crispy okay oh this is a good Farley you
00:23:55
know Farley uh was on Leno I don't think I saw this clip when it happened yeah I
00:24:01
went on with him a couple times but this one Shannon dhy was on asnl and she was
00:24:06
great it's super very striking very pretty lots of fun did a great sketch with Sandler called the Denise show was just very game so they're somehow on on
00:24:18
Leno together and of course Farley interrupts her the whole time and it's hysterical yes Chris and I did Saturday Night Live Together oh sure that's right of course and we had so much and I
00:24:28
thought he was such a nice guy and then um I ran into him much later a True Lies Premiere and he had no idea who I
00:24:37
was you know something I was blind drunk blind [Applause] drunk like this you know the women they come they
00:24:55
go he keeps grabbing actually you know he would go for you because I understand you're cooking you're like doing a whole
00:25:01
cooking thing so yeah who wouldn't go for her she's gorgeous and she cook the girl shower SC
00:25:08
oh you have a girl shower scene in hello rubbing his in rewind two words pause and Rewind met how [ __ ] funny what a talk
00:25:23
show Masterpiece of Farley just can't stop screaming and maybe Wast his scream in the rhythm of it it's like Kennison had one and Chris
00:25:33
had his own voice was so good deep crazy rough and raw and the commitment of it it's just you can you can't not laugh I say every almost every girl came on that
00:25:46
show had a somewhat of a crush on him because he was so hilarious he'd grab you and you go back and you get nervous
00:25:52
and grab and then yell something stupid then feel stupid but couldn't take oh yeah he was always under cutting himself and self-deprecating and he kind of leaned down and that's Daya the
00:26:04
lady grab you choke you hey lady choke you to death never called me Dana never called me Cary just lady there's the lady yeah
00:26:16
oh yeah he would be great around anyway okay go ahead we'll get too sad okay go ahead what's the next
00:26:24
one okay oh oh this is the one I told you about last week okay we can end with this one this was Sunni Leo I think is so adorable and she's talking to herself
00:26:37
but we couldn't do it we found it this is the one I was she's gonna do a lip reader says what she's saying as she's
00:26:42
nervously waiting to do the Pummel horse or the balance beam right yeah or the floor okay you got this last
00:26:54
one listen for the beat get this one over it'll be good one thing at a time isn't that cute wow that that gave
00:27:09
me gave me CHS me too I don't know why I liked it so much I thought she's just thinking and she's got the whole stadium like and she's like because everything boils down to that one Olympic run
00:27:20
you're doing whether the floor whatever but too cute I I think you know like with golf you have five minutes between things they have so much time to wait it's not like basketball go go go
00:27:33
instinct to and to try to be in the moment not get in your head try not to try it is the [ __ ]
00:27:40
Olympics uh that's why it was sometimes hard to watch you know the only thing that matters because the Heartbreak is too you know it's too rough you don't win you don't and you're like I did all
00:27:52
this and yeah and it just that for us sitting on a couch having a beer we're just like in awe of The Bravery to put
00:27:59
yourself in a position to [ __ ] up in front of a billion people so you already want to give them a hug anyway but I think that some of them do have sports therapists uh that they work with and I
00:28:11
think that there's a postcript if it didn't go well so be like okay sure it didn't go well you [ __ ] up I'm no one really thinks beyond the Olympics I mean like Co like it it's that's the goal so
00:28:24
even the next day you're like I won I didn't win like am I going to do the four years now and try it again or or do
00:28:30
I start to figure out my life now and like complicated your your family everybody's either there or wa there's
00:28:37
parties in the states watching you and they want you to win so bad um feel like you're letting him down if you don't well let's introduce why don't you introduce our boy because uh he you
00:28:50
turned me on to this guy in the Olympics and uh tell the crowd about if you watch the Olympics and watch track and field
00:28:56
there were some amazing things and one of them was the 1500 meter final with with Cole Hawker yob Ingle britson it
00:29:04
was an amazing race and Cole Hawker scored an upset and won the gold medal and he's
00:29:12
still kind of flying high from it and trying to process what just happened to him and I'm kind of a track nut ran in
00:29:20
high school a little bit in college and so it was fun to interview him and uh get some interesting insight into how do
00:29:27
you how do you manage the pressure how do you train yourself to Sprint when you're exhausted there's a lot of pain involved so it was a Charming Charming person and enjoyed it we enjoy it
00:29:40
yourself David yeah that's it I thought he was a super cool dude yeah absolutely great guy we haven't interviewed him yet
00:29:46
we're about to right now okay yeah yeah I can't I can't can't wait to hear what he says yeah
00:29:53
[Music] well first of all congratulations I've seen a a few of your interviews online and stuff so I
00:30:06
understand where you're at you know I just wanted to say as a fan because I'm a track nut you know what a track nut is
00:30:14
uh one thing because I have a little email chain with brother both ran track we're all from pre we're all from Frank Shorter era and during the Olympic
00:30:24
trials they had a shot of you in full stride um and and I thought to myself whoa he's
00:30:30
running different something something's going on the Authority or the armed carriage or something so in the thing
00:30:37
everyone say CER versus inle Brits him we're going back and forth I said Cole I said watch watch him Dark Horse I didn't think you would kick I knew you had a
00:30:49
kick can he kick off 247 yes he can that was new information for Inger britson he can kick off 247 even blows my mind saying yeah I
00:31:04
think that was new information for for everyone like including myself like I knew like based on my trials race the
00:31:11
way I ran it I had you know it was a 330 R we're getting in to the nitty gery but it was
00:31:17
a 330 race I I totally understand a 52 last lap go ahead exactly and with the 52 last La that's far from evenly split
00:31:25
and so yeah I knew that my PRS weren't uh like you know equivalent to what I thought I could run and then yeah I knew I was gonna have to have the race of My Life um but it was definitely a shock a
00:31:38
big shock to I feel like the world but not as big of a shock to to me not to me not to me um but I the pace shocked me you know uh that he would take it out at
00:31:51
54 by the way let me just quickly do for you because you only will get it my my uh is it Jacob or Jacob Jacob incit I think yakob yeah yakob sorry
00:32:03
impression how did you think the race went I'm sorry you're the only person get um I thought it uh was a good race it um it was a fast race you know um
00:32:17
maybe too fast um but we go back we go back you know he speaks in three-word sentences okay all right and now here's Jos Kerr Sean conry has a dis hits uh I
00:32:31
saw him uh he looked at me and I knew I had him I had a lot left but apparently not not
00:32:39
enough left for that little upart spot on and uh yared Yus uh is just enthusiasm he's just like it's
00:32:52
awesome race man that guy just exudes joy and uh you're kind of you're like you know you don't put a lot out there you keep it close to your vest but you are kind of like the Silent
00:33:05
Assassin yeah well those are all for as nich's impression that those are those are spot on 28 people are having a
00:33:14
joyous moment here's my impression the uh the pole V that hit his wiener picture this this is the far I'm going to stand up for this one no I'm kidding this this is
00:33:26
brilliant no even if the bar is this big mine still doesn't look big enough so I can't even do the impression Spade was
00:33:32
obsessed with the wieners hitting poal everything but I have a real question for Cole all right this is well one is I only have two because Dana is the super
00:33:43
Runner one question you could have two question I'm watching because Dana told me to watch this because he's a fan of
00:33:50
yours he says watch this race and toward the end I mean you're sort of in the back you you come up I'm putting it real
00:33:56
layman's terms you come up you're getting closer closer to the front everyone follow me Striking Distance
00:34:05
there's a difference Striking Distance it looks like you're going to make a move and you got boxed out a little bit
00:34:11
and then you faded back and then you saw like a hole and you came on the inside but I thought that fade back it's too
00:34:18
late to do one of those fade backs cuz you were giving it something and I thought oh [ __ ] there's nothing left and
00:34:24
then you pushed on the inside I was like oh my God is that what happened you pushed on the inside and then you kind of caught him off guard or I don't know
00:34:30
what happened yeah yeah I mean that's why I think the race has like resonated so well because everyone can understand it it wasn't it was just a really good race like even if you don't know
00:34:42
anything about track but yeah I ended up passing on the inside which like I was talking to reporter directly after the race and actually didn't remember if I
00:34:53
passed on the inside or the outside which kind of surprised me that I I didn't remember and just showed me that
00:34:58
it was instinctual I guess you were in some other place yeah yeah it was interesting part for me is that it just because this this is I got to say I
00:35:10
think the greatest 1500 meter world class race and Olympic final I think for Layman I mean it was I had people in the room not track fans going crazy but it
00:35:21
seemed like inle Brion was a little bit sharing Lane one and so you you you ran up him a little bit so you broke St so
00:35:28
technically you're a 32740 probably without that I know you thought of it oh yeah I thought of it so then if for people don't understand it's
00:35:40
the worst thing can happen to it was like a half break a full break you don't get the gold it was just like a quarter
00:35:46
half break but still and then he drifted maybe thinking he was G to make a move on on ker and then you got that little squeeze and then yeah the whole thing happened like that but it was just
00:35:58
mind-blowing to watch yeah yeah I mean I did notice after the fact and coming down from everything I'm like there's still half second in there um which is saying a lot considering it was about a
00:36:11
3 second PR already um but yeah those little anything stopping especially at the end of a 1500 at that pace is can be detrimental you know I just wanted to
00:36:23
ask you this because there's always winning the race and there's and there's winning the Olympic gold but now you
00:36:30
walk around as a 32765 guy and that is its own high of course it's not you the goal is the goal but it's a trip to have a PR in for a
00:36:43
worldclass athlete to PR that Big 3 seconds is an eternity and you did it in the Olympic final I don't know what are you I I'm doing all the Talking you're nauy but go
00:36:54
ahead what do you think no yeah I mean that's what you're how you're breaking it down is kind of you know the same
00:37:01
thoughts I'm I'm having about it um but I guess like again I I knew a fast time was coming I mean sub 330 has been my goal since uh 2021 since the last
00:37:16
Olympics I ran 331 um and I was you know the goal is always to win um but then in the back of my mind being sub 330 is uh um you know
00:37:29
that's like a league of its own and for anyone that's not a super nerd of track you know it's sub four which is a big deal in the mile and then the 1500 the equivalent to sub four is
00:37:41
probably around 343 yeah um for the 1500 um just to kind of give some perspective and on you know sub 330 is a I don't know how many guys have done
00:37:55
it but it it was a big goal of mine and uh the past two seasons were interrupted
00:38:02
training by uh injury um which you know that's half the battle in this Sport and
00:38:09
um the year after the Olympics 2022 uh the previous one uh I was sidelined you know completely for about a month and a half um and that was leading up to the US trials and so um I didn't even make
00:38:23
the US team for that year was the World Championships um and then the next year uh was another world championships in Budapest which is this past year and I had to start my training about two
00:38:36
and a half months later than than I would have liked to with some Achilles stuff and so what I'm saying is like
00:38:41
these past two years have been interrupted and I made it to the world final last year with very truncated
00:38:48
training and I just was like if I can get this uninterrupted I know how good I can be
00:38:54
and and that was just the name of the game this whole season and like you know we it's pretty much day by day week by
00:39:00
week and in track and field and trying to stay injury free and I kept stacking those days and weeks and I made it to us
00:39:07
trials and I was like I told myself I've done everything I could to get here um I've stayed injuryf free and so let's
00:39:14
see what I got and I had the race of my life and then the same story can be said about the Olympic finals and just I
00:39:22
think that that big jump in time um again is is a shock on paper but um I knew like with this uninterrupted training I was fitter than I've ever been by a long shot and that those times
00:39:34
were coming you know the past three years I haven't missed a workout and it it's just you know not really an option
00:39:41
at this level it's not I don't want to get out of bed today but the options are those little fine details where you know it's easy to skip those especially you
00:39:51
have a great workout and you just want to lay in bed and but smart thing to do is go get a massage go you know have a
00:39:59
really good meal all that stuff well your your new best friend inor britson um he talks about overtraining and
00:40:06
running your race Before the Race which is also a disease that can happen you know you're just training you're you're
00:40:13
not tapering as well and you want to train train train so you must have come in very very rested you know you peaked
00:40:19
at the trials and then you had like a few weeks you know um I don't know uh is this fascinating anybody because to me it is I want to go back to the race for a second though what Josh Kerr said he
00:40:31
said the pace was so fast he said I went to sleep like he liter and he lost his hearing going out in 151 so I don't know
00:40:39
if you'd go into try to go did he did he mean he went into a Zone but he said it was so fast I just decided to go to
00:40:45
sleep and he's he's running 54 second Pace yeah there I mean you feel it for sure but um I feel like his game plan which was pretty OB it's probably just
00:41:00
don't give you know inab briten anything not don't give him a centimeter and and
00:41:07
he could having that person and that race plan and in briten immediately going to the front he could probably
00:41:13
flip off his brain and uh yeah just his job was to not let him any separation leading that race I mean for people don't understand I mean it does take more energy so you're kind of if
00:41:26
you're watch watching it you know iner britson is one of the all-time greats but you're like huh I've never seen him
00:41:33
do this it was a little warm little Breezy and it gets very lonely I don't care who you are up there you know in
00:41:40
the front yeah setting Pace yeah yeah exactly and like I mean everyone is in agreement like it takes like a lot of balls to go and and do that with that caliber he's
00:41:54
kind of he's in a good way kind of crazy in a wonderful way Cole are you allowed to wear any shoes you want I think as a regular person watching is it have to be a
00:42:06
certain brand or can you just say these are my favorite running shoes or do you have to switch to some Olympic shoes I'm
00:42:12
sponsored by Nikey um oh okay and that's what is that what it was there yeah and so at the Olympics at least like Team USA is uh sponsored by
00:42:23
Nike um but they say you can wear what ever shoes you want oh that's good that's good yeah they're not going to mess with everyone's little I thought they would I would be like oh my God
00:42:34
here's your shoes and you're like I like these old ones whatever they are that really work for me because it's so like
00:42:39
you said everything matters so you have to be comfortable you have to feel like you're running the right stuff okay
00:42:45
that's a good question that was a good question Spade that was really that was really good I have a question okay go go
00:42:50
ahead [Music] this is another super dumb one why no no these are good because I'm the weeds the 400 the 800 and not the
00:43:08
1600 that's that is a good question because I myself had to look that up um I I like that it does sound like an odd number because I didn't know what it was
00:43:20
I'm like how far is that it doesn't seem to evenly it it doesn't make sense the best answer I could find
00:43:28
was that they wanted to do yeah four laps but to start on a straight away but the 800 doesn't do that the 400 so that really doesn't check out but that's the answer story we already had our fact
00:43:42
Checkers I know CU if you're born under the mile you're always trying to equivocate to a mile like or even a
00:43:50
metric mile be 1600 meters and I figured out the pace Co was going if you could have sustained it for another 100 meters
00:43:57
your sort of metric mile would have been like 340 or something something crazy you know what
00:44:05
happen to yards did they go away I mean is us the only one that cares about yards anymore because they really well
00:44:10
in the P Vault they go or high jump It's 2.6 41 I got to do on my phone that doesn't sound High to me 2.6 something I want to hear is 8 feet you know that's
00:44:22
not even three whatevers you know yeah hate the metric system yeah and they go it's gonna catch on but that was in sixth grade so it hasn't quite got on here but I guess walls are closing in
00:44:34
yeah Olympics America don't don't play um okay my next question is yeah okay so you're famous for your kick so I'm trying to think the equation yeah
00:44:49
why there there's the mental emotional part there's maybe fat maybe just like say you guys ran a 50- yard dash you you four the big four you'd probably win
00:44:59
that just the quickest fast twitch fiber like in just a fresh 50 yard dash you would destroy iner
00:45:07
britson you're trying to set me up for a head we just need you to say that say it
00:45:13
very clearly I wasn't that's my sense of humor but I assume you have foot speed but then you also have to have the V2 engine um and then the part that's kind
00:45:23
of at least in high school it would be sort of emotional or a little bit angry not at any particular thing or the
00:45:30
universe but just like [ __ ] this you know cuz you're really in pain and you want to get to the Finish Line anyway but I don't know how just talk about what makes someone have a kick like
00:45:42
yours what what is the magic is there anything to it or just it mostly just I want a kick yeah I I think like going
00:45:50
back and seeing my form kind of develop it's been pretty telling like mhm the goal for so many races that my coach or the plan I
00:46:03
guess is just to be there with 200 100 meters um because you know I found out and my coach has found out that I'm I'm gonna do anything I'm gonna turn my form
00:46:13
to [ __ ] if I have to just to get to line first which is not ideal but if you look
00:46:19
at my high school videos and my college videos even a finishing a race you know my form's all over the place I'm going side to side and and the idea is to keep everything moving straight forward and
00:46:31
um like just seeing that tells me I don't know something in my brain flips where I'll do anything to in my power to get there and as I've gotten stronger and fitter my form has followed and I've
00:46:44
been able to stay you know aligned and that's also you know helps you go faster if you can do that I do think that and I
00:46:51
observed that myself because I watched the race a few times and Inger britson has his certain form and Josh and you
00:46:58
have your certain form but then I do think it's okay in the last 10 or 15 meters to kind of go a little crazy and
00:47:06
even go outside your Zone a little bit because it seemed like that you and ker were just neck and neck and then okay
00:47:13
and then you just kind of ran in a different way you just it was you know it's almost like I have to get to the
00:47:20
line first and k stayed in his great form INR britson incredible running form I think that's part of part of the secret of being willing maybe the last 10 meters just to like go a little crazy
00:47:34
don't worry about your form just get there first you know yeah yeah I think there's something to that and you can
00:47:40
even see you know the other American yard in a goose he yeah I mean his form it like he's fluid and looks looks good in the race but when it comes down to the last 10 meters he's got something
00:47:54
where he can thrust his body for or whatever and he's always been able to just like get those last 5 10 met and he
00:48:01
almost got silver doing that so like yeah both those guys keep in really good form or actually losing ground you know
00:48:08
compared to me and yeah you guys just went kind of crazy and yeah he how much did you win by a billionth of a second
00:48:16
was it no you actually hady pretty small this Olympics it's been pretty small a lot of these what was the uh second
00:48:22
place um I'm I'm not sure on the 80 327 80 and you were 6 he doesn't deal with second place yeah we just call
00:48:35
it notal place you mean the non-old Medalist you're talking ask me a question about the non-old medalists in this you're gonna have to call someone else yeah uh what what is um and this is
00:48:47
off the off the uh subject but I stupidly thought Olympic Village is like the as big as a Motel 6 but it's got to
00:48:54
be huge like there's so many people like where how big is that housing and are there [Music]
00:49:01
rules it blew me away like because I figured this out and I went to Tokyo as well and I had no concept of yeah I thought it would be like kind of a couple hotels a hotel I didn't don't
00:49:13
even think about it yeah yeah but these it seems like it's the same like almost copy and pasted what they they have it figured out to where they throw up these buildings and they're like the most bare
00:49:24
bone apartment building right yeah you sleep on pizza boxes is that true yeah that's true yeah I think
00:49:33
there's 10,000 athletes in total so imagining yeah like it is like there's at least 10 buildings that are each you know like oh that's way more
00:49:46
than yeah so it is like a little village it's like a city no rules there's no rules just get in there and show up at your race yeah I guess so much so how
00:49:58
long like you win the race you got the American flag and you're out there how long are you kind of out there did you
00:50:04
do a full Victory lap or you and nus I how did that you know all how long are you out there celebrating with the flag yeah that that's actually a really good question because I finished the race and
00:50:18
it's you know you you don't prepare for after that yeah you're not yeah I know and so like I was running around and uh
00:50:32
luckily yeah yeah and there is a I figure this out that there is like a Handler that's his job is to see the the top three and and tell them what to do
00:50:43
and you know luckily the first people I saw were like like some of my best friends from college and they actually had the American flag and somehow I I found them because they were going crazy
00:50:54
waving it and I went over there and got that and then yeah this guy directed me he's like you can go this way and then I
00:51:01
started going too far and they're like whoa whoa whoa I was going into the long jump area
00:51:10
neighborhood I didn't get to do a full Victory lap just like the he goes too much too much too much too much well I
00:51:18
always wondered that they always R we know you want to race now get in the [ __ ] tunnel they find a flag I'm like
00:51:25
is there a vending machine or is or just someone that's assigned to hand you a flag or the little ones go but the
00:51:30
little ones are nice even get a little baby one get a pin you got a little pin your way anything and you and Jared AR
00:51:37
you know sharing it kind of but he was sort of hogging it you had to pull it away just made that
00:51:44
up yeah there there is usually a like USA Track and Field person whose job that is um and I'm I think they wanted me to go to them but again I wasn't
00:51:56
really thinking in that moment and just went to my my buddies that I saw waving the flag and you know luckily it was
00:52:02
like it was super high they said they went on this whole Excursion to find me like a super high quality flag just in
00:52:08
case there would be in that moment uh yeah if not they just leave it in the seats at the bottom they forget about it they're like oh he didn't win what do we do with thisa happens a lot but no that that
00:52:22
shows that they knew you were a dark cours you were you were a contender we're getting the flag
00:52:28
for cold you know because they're Believers that this could no exactly so did you did you cry because the Olympics which I thought were amazing I don't much you watched after doing your I
00:52:40
thought they were extraordinary because of the emotion of all of it yeah so I I I don't remember how you process that or when they played the national anthem and you and the flag goes up I mean just the
00:52:51
just speak to the emotionality what the hell you just went through and it was just a few days ago yeah yeah I I kept
00:53:01
kind of like waiting you know that night was everything was moving so fast and immediately after the race it's it's
00:53:07
hype and I'm you know not thinking about everything that went into it um and so I'm just like hyper and like happy excited um then we go to the metal ceremony and I was kind of waiting like
00:53:20
like am I gonna am I going to get emotional and but not really uh on the on the metal stand it was right after the race which not all the events did getting
00:53:33
them my medal and I was they weren't right after the race oh no a lot yeah yeah yeah yeah so that was actually a cool thing they did that um but I was more concerned with they give the get
00:53:47
the tightest shot of your face if you're on the on the podium and I remember seeing other athletes and I'm like they're so tight on their face and I got my buddy text me he's like he's like
00:53:59
decent shave job I don't think they could have gotten closer on your face je yeah but I was more concerned with that
00:54:06
than anything else try to look cool and proud exactly I'm like what what is the correct what's the attitude you want to have yeah yeah do you want to be balling do you want to be that's right or soing
00:54:20
or just laughing your ass off yeah I'd say like the most the most emotional I got actually was like I'm in the airport you know I I'm not actually didn't go back to the States yet because
00:54:34
believe it or not there's there's more track races which is crazy after the diamond League y exactly but I'm in the
00:54:41
airport by myself watching like like my high school had like a watch party and my you know best friend neighbors had a watch party and I'm watching they have a video of their reaction and I'm like
00:54:54
that's that's when I kind of get emotional and I'm by myself it can actually process what I'm seeing and yeah pretty cool sure I
00:55:01
would say it's very normal when emotions are so extreme in the moment to kind of
00:55:07
I wouldn't say go numb but just sort of you you were you were sort of in shock uh too exactly yeah and what I wanted to
00:55:14
ask you just for yourself because what I observe is when the race was so brutal and so violent and uh everyone went all out but you came through and it seemed
00:55:26
like you recovered just because of the emotion in like three seconds did you even go down your knees or anything I
00:55:32
mean I think you went through and like why don't you lay down yeah that's another thing I thought
00:55:38
of like after watching but it's just the way yeah it's almost always like that where your adrenaline just can carry you and um I remember like me and my
00:55:50
teammates always talk about how you can tell someone's Fitness by the postrace interviews I didn't get interviewed
00:55:56
immediately on the track but if someone's really fit it'll be two minutes after the race and they'll have
00:56:02
caught their breath it just like oh wow shows the fitness that you have to be at to be at this level that's part of it
00:56:08
and the other part is just like yeah crazy amount of adrenaline but but just winning the
00:56:13
winners seem to always kind of recover faster yeah you know yeah yeah exactly anything else for this young man who uh oh by the way what did you say
00:56:26
are what did that stand for by the way personal record personal record okay can you tell every story again now cuz now
00:56:33
that I know start again a PR um I was just curious these are random things have you watched C pre Fontaine was this iconic and if you go to if you're in the Borman track Bowman Track Club at Oregon
00:56:46
you know all about them I'm I'm sure you've watched the p uh the 5K from Munich where Prefontaine who's 21 you're 23 runs the most charismatic and
00:56:57
Reckless 5K in history um have you watched that with British announcers okay I watch it at least a few times a year I I don't even know how to make sense of it other than Prefontaine he
00:57:12
just ran I don't know he spent so much energy passing he start tried to break the
00:57:18
world he's sprinting he's coming back he's taking the lead I mean and now you've done a race that people are going
00:57:24
to look at you know it just sort of the world's strange how things happen you know yeah yeah absolutely yeah I mean
00:57:33
there's a reason if if you follow track you've heard of preon he just yeah raced
00:57:38
like with passion as as cheesy as that sounds but you're just like this is what I'm gonna do and if if it works then I'm gonna know I gave it everything and if
00:57:49
it doesn't then it's the same yeah and the British announcers and the British announcers were much better at the Olympics here in America or there was a British announcer but for pre Fontaine
00:58:01
when it's the last 50 meters and he's kind of dying the British announcer literally says and the chunky American
00:58:08
is completely bankrupt what a great the chunky American is completely bankrupt that he'd hit that wall um and then you look at it later go what what a brave race it
00:58:20
was and so such a badass race even though he took fourth he kind of won the moment you know somehow but anyway that's very inspiring but I just want to ask you one more question why did you
00:58:31
agree cuz when you won won the race they said who can we have a Superfly can we can we uh Get Timothy sham no can we get
00:58:38
Cole Hawker and I thought it would be a joke like there's no way you were gonna be a have the time or the energy or I've
00:58:45
ever heard of these two old guys but anyway thanks for coming on and why did you say yes yeah yeah well yeah I want
00:58:51
to let you guys know that I'm also a fan of both of you and uh I mean I've watched SNL and all the backlog stuff I
00:59:01
guess but grew up watching backlog have you seen Wayne's World at least or show dirt I have yes I have actually oh good yeah I'm actually yeah
00:59:13
I'm a pretty big comedy fan funny enough so yeah my agent sent me sent me this and he was like this this pretty cool and unique and that's crazy so yeah of
00:59:23
course thank you buddy yeah well we love it it was great seeing you Dan call me and said you got to watch this race I flipped it on I was like holy [ __ ] this
00:59:29
guy uh yeah you're very charming and you're humble and you're 23 um so I guess stay healthy and we're
00:59:37
going to get to watch we have um you know four or five great 1500 meter and don't get me started on Hobs Kessler who's 21 we just have an amazing we had three of the top five we just have some
00:59:50
amazing um epic battles to to go and you have to do them and go through all the pain and we get to watch but it's uh I
00:59:58
you're still inspired and enjoying the sport and you're looking forward yeah cuz 23 is very you're not even in your
01:00:04
prime time yeah we're not in our Prime either you're entering the Golden Age yet H anyway so thank you so much for coming on and I'll be watching the U the
01:00:16
diamond leagues good luck on those yeah thank you very much yeah thanks again for having me keep up the good
01:00:23
work this has been a presentation of a Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg Holzman hope you liked it
01:00:37
[Music]