00:00:00
because I I I was the flavor that they were looking for. Sort of like a ghetto hood.
00:00:05
Yeah. You know, I I had working against that because, you know, my acting teachers when I was 17, they were all like, "Uh,
00:00:11
no one can understand you with that accent. Do you really speak that way?" And, uh,
00:00:16
good god talk like, you know, I was like, "D." I was like, "Dad, yo, man. What you want? What you need from me? I'll be right there for you, bro. What's up?" You
00:00:22
know, I was I used like that. It was so dope because they thought it was going to be a bomb. They thought Ice Age was
00:00:28
going to be a serious bomb. They had closed down Fox uh animation cuz they thought it was over. Like, I'm not joking. They thought it was over. There was no merchandise, no advertising. This
00:00:39
[ __ ] a blew up. Cut the balls. Work the shaft. Cut the ball. That's right out of my playbook.
00:00:51
All right. We have a gentleman on here. Uh Mhm. Well, you're a you're a gentleman, but so is
00:00:58
our our guests. Yeah, I'm a gent. I was in a club in high school called gents. I would Would you like to be referred to as a gent or a class act? David Spade.
00:01:11
He's a gent. David Spade. He's a class act. Most David Spade is a buffoon. But that's that's common now. You're called a buffoon. You know, my last name is Spade. You know this, right? So it's not showbiz,
00:01:25
it's very real. So when I played tennis in high school, I always wanted to be called the spade of ace. That was like
00:01:31
in the nickname like in the sawarro saber cap paper like spade of ace wins again. But the only thing that caught on was pinky dick.
00:01:42
[Music] I don't want how did how how did this turn? How were you not named ace of middle name? Of ace of spades.
00:01:55
I don't I don't know how people miss me. My middle name could have been UV H of spade.
00:02:03
But we're not here to talk about that. We're not here to talk about that. Let's We're here to talk about John Legazamo.
00:02:09
John Legazamo. And he's a good dude. I've met probably very briefly in the past, but very aware
00:02:16
of him. you know, being in the comedy world and someone's out there doing one man shows. He was
00:02:21
ruling HBO there for a while. He does a new show, John like Zamo does America and he gets into a lot of very interesting things. You know, he's just in a different world than us. We're just
00:02:31
straight standups and he's like a one-man performer. Yeah. Oneman shows and yeah, he's been
00:02:38
he's been a fixture. I'm just going to use the word fixture in American entertainment, theater, movies,
00:02:44
television. Yeah, he works. Two Wong Fu, remember that one with Patrick Sees? Patrick Sees and who else is Oh, Wesley Snipes, I think. Anyway, very interesting movie in in the day probably
00:02:56
20 years ago, but he's always uh sort of pushing the envelope and doing things. So, yeah, very cool.
00:03:01
Great to have a chat with this dude and here he is right now. John Legazamo, it happened to me when I was doing smart list. They said download Chrome an hour later with two guys on the thing and
00:03:14
finally punt it. Not gonna happen. Yeah. Did it later. But yeah, I got on Zoom. That was good. That was
00:03:20
like school. What's wrong with Zoom? Zoom never hurt anyone. I know. Everyone hate it.
00:03:25
Yeah, they [ __ ] hate it. Why do people hate Zoom? Why are they hating on Zoom? There's no need to be hating on Zoom.
00:03:31
None. Zoom got us here. Zoom. No need to be hating on Zoom. I mean, I can run, right? Zoom got us like we don't have to
00:03:42
go meet directors in person anymore. We don't have to talk to anybody in person anymore. I mean, Zoom saved our, you know, our lack of When I when I talk to directors, I go,
00:03:53
can I just not get the job from here? And they're like, yeah, we'll just say no here if you want to have a fake
00:03:59
meeting. I go, I do want the fake meeting, but then afterwards, like the free food. I'm not gonna lie. I
00:04:04
like the free food. And if I'm a big fan of the director, I like meeting them in person so I can just that brag. You know what I mean?
00:04:11
What's What's that like being in person? I mean, what happens? You go you see him in a room or I I I'm just on virtual.
00:04:18
So, no. I mean, like I I just met Chris Nolan for the Odyssey. We met We met at the Audon, you know, the big uh uh ' 90s Hollywood New York uh restaurant. And we
00:04:32
for two hours. We chatted, talked about life, his biography, mine, and then I did the Odyssey. Well, wait a minute. First of all, he's a genius. That's a huge, huge, huge movie.
00:04:44
That's not just a regular director to me. I mean, my god, Dunkirk, Interstellar. I mean, what is Odyssey
00:04:51
about? I've heard about it. But what is it about? And what are you doing in it? Not allowed to say a lot, but I'll try
00:04:57
to talk Okay, I see. ground it, but I can, you know, obviously the Odyssey, the Homer
00:05:03
800 BC uh piece, he's doing it period and Matt Damon's in it and Tom Holland and Anne Hathaway, Robert Patson, an incredible cast, and it's period. It's a
00:05:15
beautiful I mean, he's a visionary. I mean, that I mean, if I would have done it on Zoom, it would have been all
00:05:21
right. I mean, I was still I still got the part, but it being in person to be to have that
00:05:28
that sort of um vibrations happen between you and it's wild. I mean, it's a big difference. Well, it's like being on a date, it's different just talking, but when you get in the same room, you go, I can get a
00:05:39
feel for someone. I can, you know, there's You're right. There's a vibe, there's energy, there's something going on or not going on. And if you get
00:05:45
pick as opposed to like having it there in person. Exactly. I always have one ready for a director in case it comes up. Yeah. But you you're just meeting,
00:05:57
right? You were just You don't Do you audition anymore? I mean, you've done a hundred movies from what I understand.
00:06:03
Minimum. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I've done I I I don't audition. I don't audition, but I do have to meet. Yeah, that's fair. Meet up with people. I I think I guess
00:06:15
especially like Nolan has an incredible um [ __ ] limit. So no, he doesn't he wants to meet people to just to vet the [ __ ] He doesn't want to work with people who are and that's my new [ __ ]
00:06:27
barometer. I you know you get to a certain age I just don't want to deal with [ __ ] [ __ ] or Yeah.
00:06:34
or egoomaniacs or sociopaths. I just don't want to do that anymore. No. I I think you get to a certain point in
00:06:39
your career like Nolan where he can pick and choose and on the way up you do have
00:06:45
to work with [ __ ] That's just for all of us. That's just the way it is. And then a certain at at some if things are going good enough, you get to say,
00:06:52
"I don't want to do that when I've heard they're a drag." Or, you know, have a meeting and say, "Are you a [ __ ] drag or not? Because I can't do this. It's so
00:06:59
hard anyway." Oh my god, it's so true. Are you going to be a [ __ ] pain in my ass? It's the
00:07:05
most miserable experience I've ever had. Or you going to play ball and and make me shine, [ __ ] Mhm.
00:07:11
The biggest one is when you realize the director resents you because the studio forced you on them and they hate you the
00:07:20
entire time and are really actively trying to sabotage you. Have you had that, Joan?
00:07:26
No, I've never had that. I'm not at that level, but I I've seen it happen. I've seen it several times when when the director wanted a real artist,
00:07:36
you know, like studio didn't want to go. They wanted to go with some name star. Yeah. Yeah. But I I wouldn't even say star. What they consider a name maybe a lot of followers, which doesn't lead to good
00:07:49
acting. I don't know how you get good acting from just having a lot of followers, but you know how the [ __ ] the this the
00:07:55
studio system is. You know, I I had a meeting, John, where they said, "You're kind of a name and you have a lot of followers, but you're
00:08:01
not talented." I go, "Listen, we're not going to get everything, so let's just do this." Two out of three is is
00:08:07
it's not Meatloaf said it. You're not funny. You can't act can't sing. But those Instagram followers. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's the
00:08:19
majority of that talent pool. Not to diss them, but to diss them. Yeah. Or they say we get a big star and
00:08:26
surround them with Tik Tockers, right? that tricky for formula of like you have this demo, they have this demo and together it will collapse basically. It makes no sense.
00:08:37
I mean it makes no sense. Talent is talent for a reason and and influencers I mean I it's a necessity of our our modern world but not
00:08:48
something I go to. I have a quick question. When you were younger, weren't you in regarding Henry?
00:08:55
Oh, you got to bring that up, didn't you? Is that bad? Bring it down. Well, you know,
00:09:01
it I I I was kind of humiliated by it. I mean, I did it only because I wanted because I got no jobs. I mean, there
00:09:08
were no jobs for Latin folk. They just weren't I mean, I don't know if you remember the Ross report because that's
00:09:14
how desperate I was. I would get the Ross report. Yeah. Which managers and agents got,
00:09:19
okay, but so because there was no opportunities. So you would get it every Monday and they would list everything
00:09:26
that was available in movie and television, every role, but it was like Jim Crow. I'm not gonna lie. It was like
00:09:32
white doctor, white lawyer, white husband, white lover, Latino drug dealer. And and I would ask my agent, "Please, can they see me? I want to do my my monologue from David Mamemoth, sexual
00:09:44
person, Chicago. Please, they'll fall in love me. They would they wouldn't even see you. So, you know, you you had to be
00:09:50
mad resourceful. It just had to be to try to get in in that room with folks. Well, did Freddy what did Freddy Prince
00:09:56
mean to you if anything? Or Paul Rodriguez because when I came up I always thought it was kind of weird. Oh, there's a Latino comic and there's one
00:10:03
of them or two, you know? Uh, but he was a force of nature. Were you a in your formative years when Freddy was around? Oh, yeah. I mean, I I mean, he he's way older than I am, but as a kid to watch
00:10:14
him on and Chico and the man was like, my god, the only Latino on television at the time, I mean, we had Dez Ares, but he was in the 50s. You know, they say every two decades, we'll throw
00:10:27
one out there. Yeah, that's the thing is that when I saw Chico and the Man, I guess as a kid, it was just another
00:10:35
funny show. So, I would have thought looking back, hey, maybe they should give more the uh Latinos a chance because this one's working really well. This this show is very funny. It fit
00:10:47
right in. No one said a word. It was just like, oh, another funny show without even separating it. It was like,
00:10:52
hey, whoever's funny, throw them out there cuz talent is talented. People care whether you're black, Latino. They just
00:10:58
want to see great shows, but they just weren't casting us. So, when I got regarding Henry, it was a drug dealer. I
00:11:04
shoot this white guy and it was like, "Oh my god, I'm perpetrating what what they want to see, which is negative
00:11:10
Latino images." And I didn't want to participate in that, but I really wanted to meet Mike Nichols because he's one of the
00:11:17
greats. I mean, he's Virginia Wolf, The Graduate, Carninal Knowledge, some of my
00:11:22
favorite films. Yeah, I did it because of that. But then, you know, there I am with my a my sloppy fro
00:11:28
and I'm in the drugstore. I mean, in the Bodega and Harrison Ford and I and I'm robbing the place. Oh, even talking about it just gives me PT, right? And I I'm sorry about that. I
00:11:41
just sort of was like Harrison Ford, Mike Nichols. I was looking at that angle like to be on a set with them when
00:11:46
you're younger must have been in some ways other than what you're describing. Obviously, it's kind of a sore subject,
00:11:52
but just interesting to see them on a real set and how it works. Oh, yeah. Of course. to me just to be
00:11:58
anywhere near Mike Nichols. And Harrison Ford is always when he sees me, he's so lovely, you know, and I'm like, "Oh,
00:12:04
wow. That's he's such a great dude to be around these folks, you know." But I I love Harry Ford. I do. I really I I
00:12:12
enjoy Harry Ford and Mikey Nichols both. You're the guy from the bodega. Did anyone ever say to you, John, can you Latin up a little more? Did they ever like
00:12:23
Yeah. Yeah. didn't have to say that to me as much because I I I was the flavor that they
00:12:30
were looking for. Sort of like a ghetto hood. Yeah. You know, I had working against that
00:12:36
because, you know, my acting teachers when I was 17, they were all like, "Uh, no one can understand you with that
00:12:41
accent. Do you really speak that way?" And uh, good God, talk like, you know, I was like, "D, I
00:12:46
would like that. Yo, man, what you want? What you need from me? I'll be right there for you, bro. What's up?" You know, I would I talk like that. And I
00:12:52
don't you don't really hear that anymore. They go, "That's what we're looking for. That's That's our man right
00:12:58
there." Yeah. They totally understand, man. This is the person that I'd be confident.
00:13:06
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It's good that John Travolta came by. Yeah. Why? He's taking over my space, David. I don't like that the voter is coming in and reading my copy, you know.
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Well, look, because like they wanted me to do it, you know, wasn't my idea. I mean, David called me last night and I
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00:15:40
You play the Spanish squirrel in Ice Age. What's going on? By the way, very funny. What? What is a sloth?
00:15:52
A sloth. Dude, Sage is a killer. I did research. I did research and because I give the guy like a thousand voices. I like and I was like, "What if
00:16:03
he's from Sasha Station and he talk like this?" And he said, "No. What if he's from the deep deep south and he talk
00:16:09
like he goes nah." I said, "What if what if he's hood and talk like this?" He said, "Nah." So I I did research on the
00:16:14
Discovery Channel and I got all this footage on on sloths and they store the food in the cheek pouch, you know, and
00:16:20
and and it ferment. And so I Oh, great. And I was like, "Oh my god, this this is
00:16:25
my character. This is it." And it's a hit. Yeah. Iceage is such a smash. That's great. My celebrity worth. It's 90% of your celebrity on Google.
00:16:39
I'm fascinated by celebrity net worth. Not that. But what did you get for the first Ice Age? What percentage more did
00:16:46
you get for the sequel? Was that It was dope. It was so dope because they thought it was going to be a bomb. They
00:16:53
thought Ice Age was going to be a serious bomb. They had closed down Fox uh animation because they thought it was
00:16:59
over. Like I'm not joking. They thought it was over. There was no merchandise, no advertising. This [ __ ] became a nut.
00:17:06
It would blew up. It was so huge. And and then when they wanted to come back for us for number two, we got I took them to the cleaners.
00:17:16
Yeah. The best position to be in. Did you actually indicate to them that this is my number or I don't do the sequel? Cuz your character was essential at that point, I believe.
00:17:28
Oh, yeah. You know, we we negotiated hard, man. I got I bought a country house. I I bought a massive apartment. I
00:17:35
bought a pool. Good God. Jesus. I bought a pool. Do you have any idea of any animated
00:17:41
movies that are coming out? No. I'll I'll somewhere in my mouth. I'll talk like whatever they want. I mean, you
00:17:46
know, anyway, just if you have anything, just DM me. I'll keep an eye out. Listen, I'm waiting for Hotel
00:17:53
Transennsylvania 5. Oo. Yeah. when they get up there. How much How much does that bring you,
00:17:58
bro? Uh, I got a waiting pool. Uh, blow a pool. Uh, but I waiting for a pool. No, I think by five I should get a pool. Uh, it was Listen, it's very it's a very
00:18:14
fair paycheck. Uh, fair. I mean, not it's not fair to the real world, but it's great. And then it usually goes up
00:18:20
increments. I'm not as crucial as you would be in Ice Age, but it's really fun to be a part of it also in the way that when I see kids, it's a good relatable
00:18:31
thing because they see them. But dude, I get the I get the for me it's a weird experience when I meet the
00:18:36
kids cuz parents come up to me and they go, "Oh, hey, my I'm a huge fan of vices. Can I introduce you to my son?" I
00:18:42
go, "Yo, it's not going to go really well because it'll ruin scare them almost like that." And that voice is and they really
00:18:48
relate. And then the parents come up and and I go to the kids and I go, "Hi, how's it going?" And the kids are like
00:18:54
horrified. Oh, I know. I don't song and dance explaining to the child so they're not traumatized for the rest. Yeah. They don't get it and they don't they don't love it. That's true. It's
00:19:05
better. It's better on the phone. They don't love it. It's It's fascinating. And And I I can understand
00:19:12
it. I mean, I'm not I wouldn't force myself, you know, on these poor kids. I'm like, "Please don't do this to
00:19:18
them." Does Ice Age have a ride? Are you a ride and a ride yet? Uh, I know. I know. Kto Bruno does a
00:19:25
ride cuz that's Disney. You know what I mean? Disney. Yeah. Yeah. Bruno and KTO is Disney. Sorry, that's another animated. Oh, and Kanto and KTO.
00:19:37
We don't talk about Bruno. The biggest hit song that Disney has ever had. Yeah. Dana. Oh, yeah. Oh, bro. Thank you, John, for explaining it.
00:19:50
No. Um, let me see. I have more questions for just most talkative. I love that in
00:19:56
school. Yeah, chatter box high school. Chatter boxes, too. I I think I was because I was in a bad sort of area where I I think I read you
00:20:09
felt like you might get beat up when you were growing up. And I was in the same if that's true. I was in an area that
00:20:16
was and I was a little pipsqueak, which you would never believe, but and I wasn't as tough as I am now with these
00:20:21
quads and how I work out all the time. So, I would just go to school and go, I'm going to get beat up today or pushed into a wall. And so, I would try to joke my way out of it. And I and also my dad
00:20:35
had taken off. And I think when I look back, I'm trying to joke around and make friends because sort of to get some
00:20:42
happy stuff going just to talk and talk and have fun. Oh my god. That's kind of like me. It
00:20:48
was like my my house was really difficult. My house situation was there was a lot of aggression and violence. My
00:20:55
dad basically would edit out the humor out of the home movies. It was like there was a a fun free zone in my house. So, I was always trying to bring humor and light and life to every
00:21:08
situation. Plus, my neighbor was really tough, so I was always fighting all the time. Let me correct, not fighting. I
00:21:14
was getting beat up. Thank you. I fought a few times, but not not a lot. But, uh, I did have a good right right punch and and I could knock people out, but I got beat up a lot. Yeah, it was it
00:21:26
tough school. I got people took my lunch money. They would pick on my brother, so I'd have to try to defend my brother,
00:21:32
too. So yeah, there was a lot of fighting going on at home and and on the streets which prepare me for Hollywood.
00:21:37
Hollywood ain't got [ __ ] They can't take me down. They never me. I'm in Yeah, I'm invincible now.
00:21:43
You try to keep it light at school. Try to keep things fun because you want to be like valuable as funny so you don't
00:21:50
get beat up all the time. So you're like, "We like this guy. He's kind of a clown." Yeah. That that was my angle. Like just leave
00:21:56
me alone. I'll joke around with everyone. I'll stay out of your way. But I didn't back down though. That was my problem. I I I did I didn't have that
00:22:02
thing that I could back down if people cornered me. I wanted Yeah. I don't know. I needed to I I guess I had a lot
00:22:08
of aggression and anger. So, I I needed to get it out. I do have that thing. So, I do back down
00:22:14
easily. Uh Dana, I we all have similar childhoods. It was not not fun at home. There was a monster in the neighborhood. In the neighborhood, there was a monster, a
00:22:26
scary monster. And then and the monster was my dad. So, how is he a monster? Um, you know, if you he would if you did
00:22:38
something he didn't like. There were five kids, you know, he'd gather everyone around. You'd have to go get his belt and then he would snap it, you
00:22:45
know, snap that belt and then he'd have to grab your ankles and then he would ask your siblings how many lashes and
00:22:53
then it he'd just whail on you. Yeah. But I learned to be like a mouse. I learned to be, you know, not seen or
00:23:00
heard because of the threat of violence. So anyway, I I kind of concur with you. I'm only fascinated that you had a right
00:23:06
hand that could knock people out. I just need to know how old were were you in like fifth grade knocking people out or
00:23:13
No, no. I I I was 13. Uh 14. Yeah. No, no, no, no. I mean, the fights that I had before were like stupid little kid fights, you know? You just whail on each other, you know, like that kind of
00:23:24
fight, right? Sure. No, but then by the time I got 13, you know, I hung out with some tough kids who would protect me because
00:23:30
I make them laugh. So, I hang out with them and I do their homework, too, because I was a ghetto nerd. So, they
00:23:36
would protect me. But then I got, you know, I got I think I think I I had so much rage and fear when
00:23:43
kids, some kids would corner me and try to beat me up. I would talk a lot. I'll go, "Hey, dude, I'm sorry." And I'd look
00:23:49
down and I'd be like, "I'm so sorry I didn't." And then I'd sucker punch him and knock him out with one punch.
00:23:56
[ __ ] I I like that. That's, you know, I was kind of a puss, so I didn't get that and I just had the rage build up and it
00:24:02
just stayed so my neck hurts. Um, other than that, um, wait, I want to hear a little bit about Legos on America because I also want to ask about some other movies, too. But can you tell us a little bit about that right now?
00:24:16
Yeah, you know, uh, our first season was at MSNBC, number one original show for the last three years. So, we got a
00:24:22
season two out of it. And basically I go around the country looking for Latin excellence, Latin brilliance, Latin
00:24:27
genius, Latin ingenuity and I celebrate it, you know, and I go to six different cities every year. And uh, you know,
00:24:34
last season I went to LA, New York, Miami, Chicago, the big Latin places, right? And then this time I went to Raleigh,
00:24:43
people down there, and no, New Orleans, Nola, uh, San Antonio, obviously a big Latin population there. and uh Phoenix and Denver and Philadelphia.
00:24:54
[ __ ] Yeah. I'm from Arizona. So, when you go to somewhere like that, do you have like a crew you kind of scout out
00:24:59
or do you kind of walk out in the world and just start talking to people or how does it work? Oh, no. No. It's it's it's very heavily
00:25:06
planned. Okay. Uh you know, I have a great team. My director Ben Jesus, my my showrunner Ko Sedra, and uh you know, and then
00:25:17
producers for each segment. And you know, we find the best people and then we walk and we do all these, you know,
00:25:23
like uh like an Anthony Bourdain but of Latino culture. Okay. Oh. What have you doing this show? Has there been surprises to you or or or experiences of learning or or is you're
00:25:35
just showcasing people uh from a lot of a lot of learning is happening for me. Yeah. I mean, when we Philadelphia, I learned that, you know, uh, you know, it's it's a big center of
00:25:46
American uh, the colonies in the nation. And I learned that 10,000 unknown Latino
00:25:53
patriots fought in the American Revolution. And then I I went home when I got that news and I started reading it
00:25:59
and researching and I I re I found out that there were 80,000 troops. And then I realized we were one in eight. We were one in eight. And then Juendi Maras
00:26:09
funded George Washington. They had a bromance and he gave him $2 million from Cuba, Mexico, and Spain. General
00:26:16
Bernardo Galves got a army of 3,000 Puerto Ricans, Cubans, Mexicans, Native Americans, and freed slaves. And they
00:26:22
kicked the British all out of the South. So they couldn't ambush the New England patriots, the the revolutionaries, not
00:26:29
the football team. Okay. Not the team. Okay. That's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I very interesting. Is the
00:26:36
Alamo a sore point for people from Latin America? Because it's kind of like John Wayne did the movie and remember the
00:26:42
Alamo but from the other side of the fence. Is it? Yeah. I mean being a Latin person and
00:26:49
Yeah. It is kind of uh because you know all these Latin people it was first of all it was Mexico and and Latin for like ever and then we let all these white people come in thinking that you know
00:27:01
maybe we could the people in Texas could become a country on their own and they would ban and so they worked
00:27:08
with the Texans the whatever the the the white people that started coming in there and they freed themselves from
00:27:14
Mexico but then the Texans turned on them and took their you know their their land, their political power,
00:27:22
uh, and then started massacring and lynching all the Latin people there. So, the John Wayne movie wasn't a fan
00:27:29
favorite of yours or you know, I didn't know, but I was rooting against myself. You like Yeah. Well, until you know something, it's hard to uh John I bet you, Dana, I bet you do the
00:27:43
killer. Yeah. Dana, where's your John? What? Duke. Come on. Hey. All right. Here's my John Wayne. Yeah. John Wayne uh and Walter Brennan. The
00:27:54
The thing I do like about John Wayne is not that he had no fear. He was furious at the idea that anyone else would have any fear. So, you know. Well, let's
00:28:06
attack him, Papy. No, Duke. There's 10,000 of them and 40 of us. Duke, we're going to die. I said attack, Papy.
00:28:14
You'll attack when I tell you. Don't make me do what I did last time. What was that? What he do? What are you doing? You got That's how he ends it. He never says, "No, everyone goes, "Oh, [ __ ] I don't
00:28:27
want to hang." Let me do one more and then I want to ask you about your very first standup
00:28:33
bit because this is one of my earliest standup bits. I would say Lucio Ball in 1952. Oh, Ricky. Lucio Ball today.
00:28:42
Well, oh wait, no, sorry. Sorry. It goes like this. goes John Wayne 1952. Well, let's go over the ridge. John Wayne
00:28:49
today. Well, well, let's go over the ridge. Lucio Ball 52. Let's go. Come on, Ricky. Lucio Ball today. Well, let's go Ricky. I didn't do it very well, but it
00:29:02
killed. It sounds like it's there's something there and we're still going to work. It always killed. So, your first standup
00:29:09
bit that really worked for you, you have 5 seconds. Oh, [ __ ] Uh, you have 25 seconds. You know, I was part of First Amendment
00:29:21
Comedy Troop where Bruce Willis used to come in New York City and Robin Williams come down. Rest in peace. And I was part
00:29:28
of the seat company. And uh, the great thing about it, there was a lot of cute women and and and
00:29:35
that was Comedy was wonderful back then for me. And uh yeah. When when was was it Mambo Mount? That wasn't your first one, was it? That was my first oneman show in 1990.
00:29:49
Okay. Because I remember hearing about that. Was that HBO? Yeah. Then it went to HBO, but it I was doing it in in the performance art
00:29:55
spaces downtown. And then I did it at the American Place Theater where Sam Shepard, Arthur Miller, Al Pacino,
00:30:03
George PL, I don't know if you all remember who he was, John F. Jr., rest in peace, all came
00:30:09
down and were in my tiny tiny theater, bro. I had 70 foldup seats because they would lift my little tiny platform out of the way for the real show. I wasn't
00:30:23
even a real show. I was like a sideline. So, they all came down and watched you do that. How cool. And so, HBO hears about this. You get some buzz and that's how they come in and they Yeah. Yeah.
00:30:34
Like they hear about a stand. They hear about something and they want to see what's going on. So, they throw it on HBO. And that must have blown you up a
00:30:39
little bit, right? What happened then after that was I wasn't in tiny spaces anymore. Now I was
00:30:44
in big ass theaters traveling around the country and especially because Latin people now found me because they were
00:30:50
getting the bootleg HBO. They couldn't afford regular HBO. Yeah, I know. I know. Because everybody told me I got the bootleg and I was like, "Oh, great. I didn't get it from um but
00:31:03
yeah then I then all a sudden we met each other and it was beautiful man it was like religion I mean I think my
00:31:08
audiences have always kind of kept me going against all odds you know cuz you know we land people at 20% of the US population but less than 3% of the leads
00:31:20
in in Hollywood less than 0% of the executives are stories being told it's just it's so crazy you know but that's
00:31:31
27% of the population. Oh, really? You'd be a good executive actually. Dana, yes. Would you be would you be uh Lucille Ball as an executive or John?
00:31:46
Well, John Luzo. Well, he does the oneman shows. Just him all the time. Papy. Is he good, Duke? I I He gets Emmy nominations and all kinds of stuff. Well, I don't know. Papy,
00:32:00
don't make me do what I did last time. Sorry. That's what you do last time. Yeah. What the You got me again. You're the only one who lied to my John Wayne. That's what I'll take.
00:32:11
I like it, too. I like the Lucio ballpart better. Well, I I don't know. I'm available for parties or whatever, you know.
00:32:18
Lucy, don't do that to me. You got a lot of Let me ask you a question about Sorry to
00:32:24
interrupt. Desi Ares Jr. This is supposedly a a thing I heard from a crew guy that you know he liked the ladies
00:32:31
and Lucy and the marriage and the whole thing and she's wandering around in this backstage in the studio. Ricky, Ricky,
00:32:39
she comes along, sees him up in the slats, up in the whatever, and a woman is performing oral sex on him. He sees
00:32:46
Lucy and goes, "Get out of here, man. What are you doing? What are you doing?" He's pretending he's being attacked by
00:32:52
the woman. Get away from me. What are you doing? What are you going? That's what I heard from a guy who was on the
00:32:58
crew. Could that be true? Be true. Have you heard the one about Stallone that he left the the speaker on
00:33:05
in the trailer and and Oh, he was miked. And he was like And he was like, "Yeah,
00:33:11
yeah." And he was going, "Cut the balls. Work the shaft. Cup the balls." That's right out of my playbook. Hey, you know what I'm talking about.
00:33:23
Yeah. Good morning. It's It's good technique. I mean, uh, it's functional. People don't know outside of Hollywood, you have a mic on, a lavalier mic, and you don't turn it off sometimes.
00:33:34
Yeah. And a lot of a lot of bad stuff can happen with that. But I've not They always say they can't they can't hear you when you walk away from the
00:33:40
set. I go, that's the biggest lie. I would just listen to people. That would be so fun. They always go, once you get to this, I
00:33:47
go, I'm having a meeting. I don't want to take all this off. Can you just turn it off? They go, sure.
00:33:52
Yeah. that happened with with uh Betty Davis, the director, I can't remember what his name is right now, worked
00:33:57
really hard to get her into uh I think was it Jezebel, one of those big southern ones.
00:34:02
Then she left her mic on it and she was telling the producers to fire him that she couldn't stand the director.
00:34:08
Oh my god, that's what happened. Alec Baldwin and Kim Baser were That's the worst. Either fighting or getting it on or
00:34:15
something in a car like between takes. I mean, I think Carrie Grant, his was on, he was doing North by Northwest, you know, and he was with the producers and he said, "I don't believe it. Hitchcock
00:34:27
is a hack. He couldn't direct him way out of a paper bag. Get that dumpy freak out of here. No more Hitchcock for me." You know, I knew that set you into a bit. That was just too much of a
00:34:38
Nobody Nobody does uh, you know, Carrie Grant anymore. Nobody wants to do it. Nobody wants to even think about it. There I've got John Wayne. Okay, here's my last one. Only only from John.
00:34:50
Here's my last one and it's the worst one. This is Madonna on the last day of her 180 city tour
00:34:58
holiday. That's it cuz she's her her voice is Dana. You still have No, it's the same joke. But I very much Lucille Ball. You can have it.
00:35:10
You're my friend. If we took a holiday. Good night. [ __ ] it. That's the last show. No, cuz I
00:35:15
heard a video of her in Japan and when she was singing Holiday, she was bottomed out a little bit. But listen,
00:35:21
let's not over talk about how good that impression is. I want to know from Look at all my notes on John. I want to know when you did
00:35:32
Romeo and Juliet, was Theo coming off of like Titanic? Was Was Leo huge at that point? No, this was before Titanic. Oh [ __ ] Was it? Yeah. Yeah, but he was living large. I
00:35:44
mean, I don't want to speak out of turn or, you know, go ahead. But we were living large. We were living crazy. I mean, we were in Mexico City
00:35:51
and, you know, he had a crew. All it was a lot of male actors and we were just we
00:35:56
was just acting like old Hollywood. Yeah, I'm sure. You can leave it at that. Nobody does that anymore. You can't do
00:36:03
You shouldn't shouldn't be doing that. Good. I like that you added that. You should not be doing that. Yeah, we not quite sure what you're
00:36:09
talking about, but anyway. Was Leo did Leo have a vibe then? Did you think, "Hey, that kid's going to be a superstar
00:36:15
or he was just another so good in the movie, man." And he was amazing like as as as another
00:36:23
actor, you know, there are actors that are really mad, selfish, and they just take care of themselves and they walk off. They don't even try to hang or or
00:36:29
even do off camera is a lot of actors will walk off. He would give the same or better performance off camera for us and
00:36:39
I was it was so generous and so beautiful and he was incredible. The kid was incredible and he he like gathered
00:36:46
all the actor. He's only 19 and he brought us all together. I was almost 30 and the other actors were like in their
00:36:53
late 20s. Dash my hawk. Uh I can't remember all the other actors because I'm old. Who else was there? Claire Danes was Juliet. She was 16. She was mad young. She didn't hang with us.
00:37:04
Did you see the movie Titanic with Leo? I didn't see it. I don't see commercial movies. Yeah, good job. Okay. I was just curious because there was a problem I have with the movie. It's brilliant. But
00:37:16
ask me. Well, when the ship is going down, you know, it's Jack and Rose are the characters. He's Jack. And they say each other's names uh over and over again
00:37:27
throughout the whole going running around the ship. You know, Rose. Rose, Jack, Jack, you know, I mean, every
00:37:34
Jack, go this way. Rose, come over here. It's never Hey, you or let's go. They say Rose or Jack like 200 times. Just I
00:37:41
watch a lot of movies. I like that observation. I watch too many movies. Wait, you wanted them to just go hey.
00:37:47
Well, just don't I'd be like me saying John. Uh, David. Hey, John. David. David. It was a bit much. It's kind of like bad writing. like you like you want to you want to get your
00:37:59
character names in early and then but I want to ask you because uh what movies blow your mind I mean what do you what what is what are your favorites and what are your favorite directors I I
00:38:12
just curious oh I'm I'm a cophile uh so I like a lot of old amazing movies like Carl Dryer's
00:38:20
Jon of Arc it's an amazing movie silent film uh where he took the actual transcripts of the lawyers from the 1400s
00:38:31
and turned it into a movie. And then his first movie because it was made from nitroglycerin, the film back then, it
00:38:36
blew up. So he had to take go back into the editing room and take all his B sides and reconstruct the whole entire
00:38:43
movie. It's amazing. That's the kind of [ __ ] I like. Literally silent films. You're going way
00:38:49
back films. Great films. Ouys, [Music] you know, Pellini, Pasalini, all the enies. All the eies,
00:39:01
all theies, spagotini. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What What's the wor white worst um example of whitewashing out there? Oh, wow. Um, I'm sure there's a hand
00:39:14
period pieces that you know I was I was pitching a lot in Latin period pieces because I had a lot of great stories and they kept telling me, "No, John, sorry.
00:39:22
We're not doing any period stuff." And then all of a sudden the crowd comes out. All of a sudden, a thousand period
00:39:29
pieces with only white folk comes out. And I was like, but then you know here here that's why
00:39:37
Nolan is such a visionary. I mean, Lupita goes in it. I'm in it. Uh Corey Hawkins is in it. Zena is in it. I mean, you can do period and have people of
00:39:49
color. We've been here for, you know, for hundreds and thousands of years. It works. It doesn't have to be just a a whites only show. You know what I mean?
00:39:59
Well, Odyssey seems like it's going to be a monster. I think a lot of people looking forward to that. If it's I'm going
00:40:08
to see that. Got to see his movies. If it's stolen, I'm going. If it's Nolan, I'm going.
00:40:14
If it's stayed, I'll stay away. No, no, that's not a saying. That's a joke. That's something that happens, but it's not a common saying. Uh, well, let me see. We've got Dana. Anything else for
00:40:26
this lovely young man? Did you do anything with Arnold Schwarzenegger? Yeah. Yeah, I loved Arnold. I did this
00:40:33
terrible movie called Collateral. It wasn't terrible. Collateral. Not not I think you know I
00:40:40
think I either the collateral damage I did the one with Arnold not the one with Tom Cruz. Oh yeah that was collateral I think
00:40:45
collateral damage. Yeah I was I was it was between me and Jamie Fox with the Tom Cruz one but I I messed
00:40:52
up my fourth call back. Ah so I Arnold I ended up with Arnold the consolation prize. I did the other Okay. How did he how did he pronounce your name?
00:41:03
He didn't pronounce my name. He didn't call me by my name. He go, "Hey, John, come." Oh, he never tried because I just
00:41:09
thought his accent with your last name would have I love the way I mean he's so he's so fun, man. He's a funny ass dude. He had
00:41:17
me rolling all the time. Like he's a he's a crazy funny guy. He's the most positive gym. He let me use his gym. I go, "Come
00:41:23
on. Are you kidding me?" Do some flies. Yeah. All All the ways are so massive. I
00:41:30
couldn't pick anything up. I was like, I'll just stand in the corner and look because
00:41:37
Yeah, John, no offense, but you're a little bit of a girly man. You know, your arms are puny, like little chicken
00:41:43
sticks. Your buttocks are like marshmallows. You're lucky I don't have a campfire
00:41:48
here. Keep me nude. Boy, you have such a resume. I I I'm blown away by how much you've done and how varied it is. And you're still going full boore. It's amazing. We've not had
00:42:03
a guest like you with this many things. It's I can't even There's so much going on here. You're crazy.
00:42:08
That's what immigrants do. I work my ass off and four jobs at the same time. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. You got two
00:42:18
Wong Fu, you've got it was who was it? Wesley Snipes. Yeah, Wesley Snipes. And and rest in
00:42:25
peace Patrick Sees. Patrick Sees. Okay, that's right. Mhm. and the original ahead of its time.
00:42:30
The original way ahead of it Yeah, that was that was bold. That was a bold move for by you guys.
00:42:36
Oh my god. Especially for the two of them because they were action stars. Yeah. For them to play um uh uh uh Drag Queen
00:42:43
is what we call them back then. That was a huge for me. Nobody really knew who I was. So for me it was just I got to
00:42:49
steal this movie from them. That was my only objective. Yeah, I think you did look exceptionally good in drag.
00:43:01
It's shocking. You don't know how good a guy will look in drag and some look horrible and some look great as a girl.
00:43:07
It's crazy. Can't really predict it. I mean, well, you know, Wesley was still working out. I stopped working out like six months before the movie and went vegetarian so I could lose all my muscle
00:43:18
and it just makes a difference. You know, I committed like crazy to it. I wanted it right and yeah I want to steal the mood from them.
00:43:25
That's smart. When I go to a movie I don't do anything ahead of time. Then the day on the movie I go what's this
00:43:30
one and then I pick up the script then I look at it technique. That's something approaching
00:43:35
things. Yeah. Uh Brando would never he had lines everywhere. He'd have he'd open an
00:43:41
orange and read the line and Brando wanted to it's inside the orange. Yeah. It's inside the orange.
00:43:46
Don, come on. You got to have a Brando. Come on. I know you got to have Brando out there. He worked hard enough at that point he just goes just make it easy on me. Come on. You an assassin. Everybody does that. I
00:43:59
mean, uh, Brando and Apocalypse now. Brando and Superman. The first original Superman is sad. That was sad. But he got $8 million. He needed the cash for the
00:44:09
island day. Street carding desire on the touch. Nobody can touch him. Stud. The way I got Trump initially was I did Brando and I mixed in Regis
00:44:22
Filman. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do each one. And then are you an assassin? What are you
00:44:28
talking about? You walk your way toward Reges a little bit. You do the two together and you got them here. We're
00:44:34
going to do a lot of good things. We're going to do amazing things. Are you ready for this? We're going blazed up.
00:44:40
Oh, that's fire. That's fire. It was I Everything was better when I first did it, but anyway. Yeah, Super Mario Brothers is a classic, bro.
00:44:52
Super Mario Brothers 923. That was huge. Yeah. You know, was huge because the directors fought for me to be in the
00:44:59
movie because they didn't want me and they fought really hard. Adamabel Jangle and Rocky Morns them. And obviously me
00:45:06
and Hoskins don't share any DNA. We're playing it works. What is your name? What are you doing in a [ __ ] movie? I don't know. Bob Hoskins is great.
00:45:20
Oh man, he he spoke cognney English, not he didn't speak the the king's English,
00:45:25
the queen, right? He get more sensation. All right, let's do it. Was that around Roger Rabbit? It's just something you want to do with
00:45:36
me. You got pop me in a movie. Is that your idea on a [ __ ] movie? I needed subtitles for when I talked them because I I was like, I can't I can't. Did Roger Rabbit ever come to the set?
00:45:48
No, that sucks. Who played Who played Roger Rabbit? Charles Fleer. Yeah, you're right. Comic. Please, Eddie. What a
00:45:59
Yeah, that was a hit. [ __ ] a uh John, listen. It's called Thanks for talking to us, John. Uh, John Legazamo does
00:46:06
America. Mhm. And along with one million other things he's doing. MSNBC because I like specifics.
00:46:12
Yeah. Sunday. Sunday West Coast and 9:00 p.m. East Coast. Yeah. Let's let Sean in. MSNBC. Yes. I just like because when people say they got a show, I go where?
00:46:23
What platform? Where are you? Say it. Make it easy. I don't mind plugging myself.
00:46:29
Of course. Why not? That's why we're here. You're the star of the show. I mean, you're the host. It's not like it's
00:46:35
John. Thank you, John. You're a good dude. And uh it's nice talking to you. It was a blast, man. Great to see you. Thanks for laughing at my goofy old impressions. No, I love them, bro. I love them.
00:46:49
I hope we run into each other. I hope so, too. All right, Dana. So, we just hung up
00:46:54
with John. Uh y and it feel, you know, I feel like I had met him in the old SNL days. I feel like cuz you know he was out there that was right around those HBO things and
00:47:05
I brought up Mamba Mouth because it was such a it was a big deal on HBO and a a lot of
00:47:11
people saw that thing. That was when HBO was you know HBO is really big now. Euphoria obviously White Lotus but HBO
00:47:18
was big. So you get a show on there and that must have blown him through the roof. That was that was Yeah. Everything was a
00:47:24
lot bigger then because there were less venues to do stuff. But yeah, that was big. And uh this was one of those things
00:47:29
where I didn't I'd never really met him or hung out with him. So it was he's a really uh fun guy. Got a big laugh and
00:47:36
uh you know he's he's uh he's he's uh I don't know. He's he's just a character. He's part of Yeah. He's a charming dude. I got off on the wrong foot asking about regarding
00:47:47
Henry, but I was he understood Mike Nichols, Harrison Ford. How exciting. I mean, he's a bad guy in a movie, but what a great movie. That was a big deal. I mean, I remember regarding Henry because later
00:48:01
when I ran into JJ Abrams, who wrote it, he had the he had the porn version in his office called Regarding Heine, which if you get a chance, it didn't follow it didn't follow the
00:48:12
exact story perfectly, but close enough for me. Well, that doesn't sound like J.J.
00:48:19
Abrams, but maybe he's got a secret side. I don't know about No, someone gave it to him as a joke. They're like, you know, you're famous
00:48:26
when your movie gets turned into a porn. I think I don't think they do it anymore. That's Wayne and Gar are in a porn or
00:48:32
something. I don't remember. Sometime they take the title, you have a good title, you know, you have to have your ass licked park. You have to have like a
00:48:38
good title that kind of lends itself and basically it's a porn with a dinosaur in the background. You know,
00:48:44
they they don't they're not sticklers to the original script. Right. Right. So anyway,
00:48:51
yeah, you brought up uh Hank Ford or Harry Harry. Oh yeah, Hank Ford. What did I used to
00:48:57
say? Oh, this is too old of a movie. Bang the nun slowly. That was an old joke. I knew two comedians who just went back and forth. It was part of their act. It was a kind of a
00:49:08
They do porn porn. They just do porn titles, uh fake porn titles back and forth. It's very exciting.
00:49:14
Anyway, back to John. He's done so many movies. I I heard he was Oh, I didn't ask about [ __ ] Carito's way. That's
00:49:21
what I want to ask. The Shawn Pennino. What a cool movie. I just didn't want to step in [ __ ] again. But I I I just
00:49:28
remember Carito's Way. And Shawn Penn was so hilarious in it. It was such a cool movie. Shawn Penn is a is a brilliant
00:49:35
character. We got to get Shawn on here. He loves putting a wig on an accent. I mean, he can
00:49:40
He was such a sing in Carito's way. It was so Yeah, it was hilarious to watch. like a
00:49:46
coke snorting lawyer or something. I don't. Anyway, I think people I hope you liked
00:49:51
it. John Legazamo and check out his show. Um the guy is a force to be reckoned with. He's he's out there and he's always working. I guess that the takeaway is like here's
00:50:02
a guy who just started from where he started, scrambled for everything he got, and he still looks at it that way.
00:50:09
It's still going for it. Yeah. you know, after a hundred movies. 100 movies and and you're and you're
00:50:15
presently in a Chris Nolan movie. I mean, yeah, that's as good as it gets. Yeah.
00:50:20
Yeah. So, anyway, all right. Thanks for watching, guys. Thanks for listening and uh we'll see you next time.
00:50:26
Peace out. Peace out. Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app. Give us a
00:50:39
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00:50:44
If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now. Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey,
00:50:50
an executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah
00:50:58
Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet
00:51:05
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00:51:14
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00:51:26
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