00:00:00
He's like, "I have to go to school. I want my suitcase." He's Swedish for a second.
00:00:05
He is though. The weirdest accent, right? I'm the I'm the number one. There is no more minority than me. I'm Mr. Minority.
00:00:11
That's what they call me. I know two uh adult gingers. Yeah. Me and who? Who is he? Who is this guy? Heavenway.
00:00:17
What is this guy? [ __ ] Heaven. Who's this guy? Huh? Tell some [ __ ] things. Who's this guy? Edgar Alen Poe. No, honestly, he wrote an actual book of
00:00:24
fiction and he's coming here to publicize it. Andrew Santino is a buddy of mine. He's
00:00:30
got a podcast called Whiskey Ginger. Oh, yep. I've been on it. And there was Whiskey. And he is a Ginger.
00:00:36
That's right. And he's got the one with Bobby. Bobby Lee. Bad Bad Friends. It's a hit. We had Bobby Lee on. We're having Santino on. He's a very edgy comedian,
00:00:47
very funny. I see him a lot. I saw him last night again. He's got a special out right now called White Noise. Comedy
00:00:53
special. Uh but in general, always funny. He's in a lot of movies. He was in Ricky Stanicki.
00:01:00
Uh where he played Kicki. Don't be pnikity. I mean that's tricky to say Nikki and Flicky. You were in Rickety's Pnikity. Uh I was in Pnikity and and um uh
00:01:15
Shadikity. That's where I picity upstate New York and Shadikity. Oh in connectity. I don't know. I think we've strangled this. I hope he's funnier than this. Um,
00:01:27
all right. Here he is. Andrew Santino. Have a good one. Andrew Santino. I am excited to ask you, David. Mhm. Not you, Dana, cuz I know we were on, right,
00:01:39
David? I'm at Has he been on your show or just the Bobby Lee? He's done me and B. He's on Bat Friends.
00:01:45
Yeah, he he he hasn't done mine because he's No, I'm doing your golf show. Yeah, you are. Eventually, you'll get
00:01:50
But he says that kind of stuff, but I don't know if he means it. We decided to talk to David today about his diddy
00:01:56
party experiences because now that he's cleared, I feel like you can say whatever you want. I can talk.
00:02:02
We don't run away from that. But you guys go ahead. I run away from the freak David diddy the D and D parties.
00:02:08
I was pass like a ragd doll. Uh let's I remember those details. What about Did you I just said what if I just jump in baby oil just to cut just to
00:02:18
speed things up and then we start slide them around the room. Okay. I don't want to guys start the show. Sorry.
00:02:23
We started already. No, it's already started. Oh my god. Yeah, it's already started. You guys have a big introduction. No, we kind of have some sort of Yeah.
00:02:32
No, first seven minutes are plugging your gigs. Yeah, we plug gigs. Do you want to plug a gig right now or we're
00:02:38
Yeah. What about When does this come out, by the way? I can't keep track. What? End of the month. So, my special's been out. The reviews are in. It's great. It's a hit. Everyone's freaking out.
00:02:49
Yeah. Everyone's panicking right now. And you can find it on Hulu, which is on Disney, which is on Disney Plus, which is in the app, which is the It's a
00:02:56
nightmare, right? You have to get on You have to get on the Delta app somehow. You have to get on a plane and sit in
00:03:01
coach and then you'll be able to fly across the country to see it. But it's been a It's been a smash.
00:03:07
It's a huge hit. I didn't know everyone would talk about it so fast. The needle. It's moving the needle.
00:03:12
Yeah, it's moving the needle closer into my veins cuz I I hate I hate taping. I hate I special I hate all of it. It's
00:03:19
the worst. I just want to get rid of it and go and go on to the next. Walk me through watching your special over and over to edit it and how
00:03:24
sickening it is. I don't do that. I'm not that guy. Oh, you let someone do I let this brilliant um editor, she was so good. I
00:03:31
let her do it and then I just say, "Tell me what you But you still have to watch it again." Honestly, I've never I've never I didn't
00:03:37
sit and watch it through. Okay. But I just said she goes, "These are chunks that I think you need I need your opinion on."
00:03:43
And then we just like I go that I like this one. Please change. But I never sat and watched it front to back truly.
00:03:49
And they were just chunks in your poop. It was She said, "Is that gonna be the whole show? You gonna rip some good stuff or is that
00:03:55
gonna be that wiener?" It's that uh chunks in the poo. I mean, he's got his his rhythms, his hits in Back with
00:04:02
Bobby. They're delighted. Dana doesn't know that our audience is seven and nine year olds. We just got all the stats back.
00:04:08
It's Miss Rachel. They go from Miss Rachel to this. Yes. I've been here since Eisenhower's first administration and I'm playing to
00:04:15
third graders. Something's wrong with that. Still fans. Those are fans. Thank you, Andrew. Listen,
00:04:22
you're drinking bald eagle blood. Okay. Where's that? James Austin Johnson kind of. It's kind of like stealing from what he
00:04:28
does mixed with what Gillis does. I just like take the sounds of what they do. Bald eagle blood. Yeah. Bald eagle blood.
00:04:34
Yeah, he does do the musing Trump kind of. Yeah. Thinking about it. Think of it. Think of it. Think of it. Think of it. change.
00:04:41
Trump is like uh he gets very low and he knows how to do the low Trump. He does. He knows how to dance really well.
00:04:47
His his best when he I I love I did laugh really hard and that was a when the guy ran in the caved daddy died like
00:04:54
a dog died like a dog in a cave like a little crying baby like a dog and Shane did a
00:05:00
great like sometimes you just quote Trump you do not need jokes. It's never that's
00:05:07
never happened in history. You just say what he said. Now, I find that people say stuff and it sounds like his rhythm.
00:05:13
I was talking to a friend yesterday and they they were like, "It's good. It's real good. It's great. It's probably the best." And I was like, "That is his
00:05:18
rhythm." He's like infiltrated the way we think. You'll start going like, "It's probably
00:05:24
the best." Maybe the best. I don't know. Probably definitely the best. That's what I've been on the most. Cuz I think that's the funniest thing how much
00:05:30
he can repeat. Yeah. We're going to do a podcast. A podcast. A beautiful podcast. We know how to do
00:05:35
podcast. And here we go with a podcast. I like podcasts. Everybody loves it and we're going to do it. I mean, he will go
00:05:41
forever. How do you exaggerate Trump with that kind of stuff? That's he exaggerates himself. But also,
00:05:46
he's so good at convincing you that it might be good. It's probably the best. It might be the best. It is the best according to most
00:05:53
of the 59. A lot of people are saying, a lot of people are saying if you look at it, if you look at a lot of people,
00:05:59
there's no one talking to him. No, but he does though. Up here, he does. He's speaking to He has lots of I do a bit where he is alone doing that.
00:06:07
Going to have a peach. A peach. It's a peach right here. Going to cut the peach. Eat the peach. You know, many
00:06:12
people are talking about it. And then Milani comes in. What? What are you talking to? What are you saying? What?
00:06:18
Do you do a Melania? No. What are you saying to that? You The funniest clip was when they had
00:06:24
his kid uh in his office and he's like, I want to go to school with my suitcase.
00:06:30
Have you seen that? Baron. Baron. When he was a little kid in his office, he's like, you got to go to school now. He's like, "I have to go
00:06:36
to school. I want my suitcase." Swedish for a second. He is though. The weirdest accent,
00:06:43
right? Am I wrong? It's like he doesn't know because he's born in America, but he's has that as his dad and her as
00:06:49
Oh, he had to come up with an interesting voice. He has no idea what to sound like. My suitcase. I need a number two pencil.
00:06:58
Daddy, can I have a weapon for school? A weapon? Let me bring one to school of mass destruction. Looks like rubber knife but cuts like a real one. Daddy,
00:07:11
could we get him somewhere? Get him somewhere. He's got 611 now. He's a He is a big boy.
00:07:16
Good lord. He's going to run for something. 12 years old. How old? No. No. What do you mean? I think he's got to be 18 by now. He's like a
00:07:22
But why why does he go to college? I mean, he's bigger than you, David. I've seen Sorry, I'm not Instagram.
00:07:28
19. He's bigger than Dana and David combined. I have no match for my son. That is funny. That's very much that that rhythm looking up kind of he know but he already knows what he's
00:07:40
going to say which is very interesting. He already knows what he's going to say. He has a tilted head a lot. He just looks away to tell you that like
00:07:45
I'm organizing this in a way that you could understand. I looked at the chart. If there's no chart it's lights out. But there was a
00:07:51
chart and so yeah the chart saved him. He chart saved them. More charts. We need more charts.
00:07:58
Come on. I'm What is this book? I'm not getting around here. I don't know why it's there. Jokes. I just around people.
00:08:04
Oh, now we're inviting. I just I just do it as a hook now. I don't We miss you, Joe. We miss you, Joe.
00:08:09
I'm being serious. Come on, folks. I'm not kidding around here. I just like that. I've got That's the only thing
00:08:14
left. I'm not kidding around. You did You did on my show. You did. No, you did him telling jokes. Biden doing standup.
00:08:21
Did I? Oh, what were the jokes? I forgot. I don't remember. You did bits. It was on SNL where I did that.
00:08:29
I'm not getting around. I'm being serious. And that just got a laugh every time. But it's true though. It was like the
00:08:34
exact phrase he said. I'm not getting around. Do you think he's better now if he Joe Biden? He's been dead for like a
00:08:40
decade. They've they've somehow managed to like hologram into reality. He's dead. That guy's dead. That guy's 100% not alive. You know that, right? That's insane.
00:08:50
I don't know. Was he ever alive? He's got They've They've strung him up. Hey, man. You're talking to the guy
00:08:56
who's crushed as Hunter Biden on Saturday Night. Yeah, you did. Yeah, really you did. You did a great job. Didn't I text you and
00:09:02
say you did a good job? I don't think so. But I You don't You don't respect. Well, we didn't want to do church lady Biden. We wanted to do dad Biden. Young
00:09:10
Church Lady Biden would have been pretty good. Well, just just I'm just Biden and he's
00:09:15
Biden. We wanted to do father son that where he's the only one can understand Joe. Hey, we're going to fame.
00:09:22
Right. What he's saying is no, you go like you really want to go to the restaurant tomorrow at 8,
00:09:27
right? No, you want to go to the antennas. So the people said they go fine. They don't have lasagna.
00:09:33
But see, that was the bit. The only one who could understand it. That's a great I know. Well, we're doing it here for the people. Hey, let's start recording now. Yeah, let's go.
00:09:45
I have a lot of questions to show our guest. This guy's looking at porn, by the way. He's looking at That's not That's really not cool. It
00:09:51
would be weird. Could you get him a regular chair? By porn hub. He looks like a child sitting at the
00:09:57
dinner table. I know. That's their inside joke that it's like 54t tall. So chair is renting this out. You know what I know though? I know David took that from his dining room and
00:10:09
then was like, "We don't need to buy a new chair." And so it's a dining room chair desk.
00:10:15
We don't have the big one. It's funny to be stingy with all this. Very rude. Do you know what I Not stingy. We
00:10:21
like you open his fridge. I know. It's just like a few waters or and a and a baking soda box in there.
00:10:27
No, he's got a lot in his mouth, dude. He eats out every day. No, you're not supposed to be in the kitchen. Sorry about that. Right when
00:10:32
you came in. He's got snacks. Little tuna and little chips. Trying to get it back on track.
00:10:37
What book is this? I don't know. I can't see it from here. From your Oh, it's an Why wasn't your special named The Great
00:10:43
Sino? Great Santino. Yeah, I named the special white noise. Why? Pretty layered. I'm not mad. I just want to know. I bet you could figure it out. I'm not mad. I do a big job. There is a joke. A bit
00:10:54
Cuz you're white. Cuz I'm white and I'm making a lot of noise. No. What is Is that the reason? No. What is the What's that?
00:11:00
Well, can you be white in today's society? What are you talking Can I be? Well, I I have red hair, so I
00:11:06
can be We're kind of allowed to move now. You guys are still You guys are deep. One or two% of the people have ginger hair in America or something like that. Or 3%. I don't know. Oh, you know, I haven't
00:11:17
checked our stats in a while, but I do get it every Tuesday, and I should look at it again. Green eyes is 2%.
00:11:22
I just need an answer, Andrew. I don't need a story. All right, dude. Yeah, it's a dying breed. I think we're up to
00:11:30
I think they did joke and say that 2035 we might go it. But I'm saying you're the ultimate
00:11:35
minority. I'm the I'm the number one. There is no more minority than me. I'm Mr. Minority. That's what they call me.
00:11:41
I know two uh adult gingers. Yeah. Me and who? Who? Uh, Francis Cronin from Ireland,
00:11:48
from Dublin. My wife's nephew. He's pulling out names. Who's Francis Cronin? Doesn't matter. He's a guy with hair. Just like Francis Francis. Well, Francis Cronin.
00:11:58
Francis Cronin. Everyone Mr. Cronin. No, he's going to love this. He's in He's in Hollywood. Francis Cron.
00:12:04
I heard a mean redhead joke. Okay, give me a mean redheaded joke. How? And I have a mean joke about you that I'll make up that I'll make up while I'm listening to you do it. This
00:12:15
has nothing to do with you. All right. What is the mean? I think I know where you're going. Okay. The doctor comes in to
00:12:22
to the family and says, "You just had your baby and we got good news and bad news." Shh. The bad news,
00:12:31
redhead. Good news, he died. Oh my god. Well, that didn't make sense. No, it actually makes a lot of sense. Cedar was just a couple weeks ago. that
00:12:43
disappointed by you would be rusty hair. If you had a kid with red hair, you'd go, "Bummer." Yeah, but yours is not.
00:12:49
No, you look it's orange. You do fine. It's orange. No, but it's soft orange. You're not bozo the clown. I am.
00:12:55
I'm going to tell you. Well, the beard has a little hair. The beard is more dark ginger. Yeah, my beard on my eyebrows.
00:13:02
Yeah. The accusations that I dye my hair is maybe the funniest thing the internet could do. I don't even know where I Let's look at a clip of your pubes.
00:13:08
You want to see it? No. Who's got better pubes? Bobby have a lot of pubes. This is what a lot of
00:13:13
Yeah, he's bushy. He's a bushy boy. But he's when he came here, he heard him over here. He was here and he he put
00:13:20
his legs back and he talked about shaving everything at that place he goes to. Anybody who goes to a place where naked
00:13:27
men walk around. Oh, you No, no, he goes to um the Korean spa. Is he Korean or Chinese? Don't look it
00:13:34
up. [ __ ] Is he Japanese? Vietong? Which one? Oh, oh, oh. Oh, he's um God damn it. Took too Malaysian. Malaysian. Malaysian. Sorry. Is he really?
00:13:44
Yeah, he's Malaysian. I did not know that. I did not know that. A Malaysian. Malaysia. You know the Malaysians, they
00:13:49
they like their cocktails, Ed. They And they like to be naked in a spa and they shave their privates. We'll be right
00:13:55
back. The nose flick is perfect. That's great. That was a mannerism that No, no, but that was something I never
00:14:00
caught. Now, yeah, this like mouth nose out. That's SNL Dana, right? I know. That was that hadn't been done
00:14:06
as far as I know is I did not know that. You know that was one. I did not know that. I did that for years as a kid because of
00:14:12
you. You know how weird. That's so strange to me to like remember repeating stuff that you did. I do it now. I I love I do that in convers. I'll go I did not
00:14:19
know that. I did. You ever say is that weird? Is that weird? Weird. That sounds like Casey Kasem.
00:14:25
Yeah. Do you remember Casey? Sounds a little bit like Casey Casem. Like Santino number one with a bullet.
00:14:33
Checking out join us today on the podcast. No, we all did him. You did them your stand up. I did Casey Casem. Casey Casey.
00:14:39
I did a bunch of America's top 10 America's top 10, but they never had a he rum. And you know who I met was Rick Rick De's. Remember Rick De's
00:14:49
disco duck. Can you do Rick Rick De's? No. I had I wasn't exposed to He's very like that. It's like it's like old car salesman. He goes Andrew Santino Arizona State.
00:15:02
He does that whenever he talks in commercial. He know he does when he sees you see him at Ralph. Surprising. He's It worked out
00:15:08
the same gym. Shut up. I swear to God, he donated the gym and his son. It's curves for boys.
00:15:15
It's a kind of dark story currently. And we'll do it as in Scooby-Doo form. Wait. Give you a dark story.
00:15:20
Yeah. Something out there. Bombing or war or tragedy. Okay. Then we'll do it as Shaggy in
00:15:26
Scooby-Doo. As something fun. Yeah. Donald Trump dropped a mega bomb on Iran. It was three in a row that took care of the cave. Right, Scoob?
00:15:38
So, it's the innocence of Scooby-Doo with modern things, but it should be I think Shaggy would
00:15:44
kill harder. Sha Shaggy Shaggy. Yeah, Shaggy. That would kill harder about giving the
00:15:49
sad story. He's doing Shaggy. Yeah, this is Shaggy was done by Casey Kasem. That's That was the real voice of Shaggy. And who was Scooby? He was a guy that um
00:16:00
did you not know him well? He was a convicted convict that worked there that just goes Huh?
00:16:06
That's the easiest. It was up to Yeah. He goes, "Scoo, I had a bad date last night." He goes, "Re Scoo Scoo, I'm telling you that the tariffs that Trump's putting in are crashing the
00:16:18
economy. I don't know what's going to happen. Look at the data. I thought you would just say rut road." I know, but Scooby sometimes, by the way, that we're doing this show been
00:16:32
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00:17:08
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00:19:56
today. I want to know what David thought about this morning. I want to know what kind of panic you had this morning knowing I
00:20:03
was coming over here. Yeah. Knowing just that someone's coming to my house. You freaked out a little bit. Did he get schooled a little bit?
00:20:08
I'm not as worried with Dana coming over. He's been here. But if it was just you and me alone, you'd be scared. No, I'd have fun with you because I know
00:20:14
at least I know you and we talk and so and you were there for the uh you were there
00:20:19
disaster when I did your podcast needed. I have to say Santino very professional. I went there I went a little early cuz I had a flight. Always early. Bobby asked me to come early. He asked
00:20:33
me to move it a day. Yeah, he did move it. Yeah. And then he said, "Can you come like at 1:00 tomorrow?" Didn't know it was around his
00:20:39
sleep schedule, but I said, "Sure, I'll wait till 1." You can have my notes. You pick a topic.
00:20:44
Anyway, they're on the Park Hotel. I spent 20 minutes on this, Andrew. Um, this says, uh, roll standup versus acting.
00:20:56
Yeah, because you do a lot of acting. A lot of stand-ups do no acting. I don't really act anymore. Not anymore. That's my question. I won.
00:21:02
You like being out there by yourself doing standup? I I like standup way more than I like
00:21:08
acting. I like acting just fine. The jobs aren't coming. Why was it? And then another question.
00:21:14
Few and far between. It's tough out there for acting. Yeah. Just acting is a weird This Hollywood's so weird right now. I don't
00:21:20
know. It's in a horrible recession. Yeah. But it's also like our When's the last When did you see a comedy movie
00:21:27
other than the movie that Spade made with Theo that's going to come out? When when's the last time somebody made a movie? The last one that was kind of big funny
00:21:33
was his with the you know the world. Oh, wrong Missy. Wrong missy. That was six years a How long ago?
00:21:39
That was 11 years ago. And that was on Netflix. Yeah. When's the last time you saw a comedy in the theater for I have to say don't haven't
00:21:46
a comedy or an Rated comedy. Either one is hard to find. No, but in the theater I mean it is kind of weird.
00:21:51
Thunder hangover. Naked. Naked Gun was actually I'm proud that like I was happy to go see it and I
00:21:56
was like please go see it. like you comedy. Yeah, I Well, I love Liam Niss. I'm happy for
00:22:04
but they they pushed too hard the timing of Leslie Nielsen and it was just it was
00:22:11
hard to duplicate and also Liam Niss who again is a great actor but heard me on the show talking like this and we tried to go down to the to the pier to find the P and it was just too
00:22:24
much of that rough voice some about Leslie. I couldn't get out of the old Naked Gun. Of course, the Naked Originals was
00:22:29
better. My point is like I'm glad someone's making something for Christ sake. It's like we can't even get
00:22:35
Nothing is getting made or shot here. Anything. Nothing. No. Or shot here. But I did like And I think Pam Anderson killed it. I think
00:22:41
she was really good. They were all great. It's just the He's not He's not Yeah, he's not. He's a very interesting choice though
00:22:48
cuz when he put his dress up when he came in as a little girl that was like something that out of Masters guys was not a good
00:22:54
movie. I was in it. I made it. But and then he put his crotch out like that and he's 73.
00:23:01
No, don't do that. And then when they did the OJ joke, it's a bit I mean that's a long time ago. So that was
00:23:08
Leave OJ alone. He's gone through enough. Uh, welcome back to Movies Today with Andrew and David.
00:23:15
Okay. Okay. Let me see what else is on here. No, I have stuff, too. January 6th. Why is that written on here?
00:23:20
I don't know. It's written on every single one of these. That's very Yes. I was That was just me going,
00:23:26
"Don't talk about January 6th. What was your alibi?" That was a note to myself. Were you there? Were you there?
00:23:32
I will say you were just part of the crowd. I want to keep this because your handwriting needs to be studied.
00:23:37
Yeah. And my brain. Wait, it's like it's half of the letters are in all caps and then half are in
00:23:44
just my haiku kind of weirdo stuff, you know? He's very He's very controlling. See how word processor? No, but he's But
00:23:52
see, David is very is very organized. Yeah. Yes. I have a war going on in here right now. What's going on up there? A lot of stuff. A girl said that's what a girl said to me. I was on working on this thing and this girl I was eating lunch by myself.
00:24:04
Yeah. And she came over to me very politely and was like, I see that you're eating alone. Do you want to join us? And I was
00:24:11
like, no, I'm good. Thank you so much. But I wanted to say, you think I'm alone? You have no idea what's going on.
00:24:17
What? Like I am never alone. Fights are happening. like that like okay you so you're 6 feet tall
00:24:23
61 cool beard 61 handsome most comedians are a little funny looking yeah but I'm funny enough women in a restaurant trust you enough to go do you want to join us or was that sort of like
00:24:34
can I be your girlfriend no she was working with us she was like part of the thing I was working on but she noticed I was eating alone and she's
00:24:40
like eat with us like what are you eating alone but I I like eating alone what if she said eat I like doing a lot of stuff alone I just ate alone before I came here it
00:24:47
was great well sorry say the joke again David we stepped on the He said, "What if she actually said eat my ass?"
00:24:53
And that's why we stepped on it. You want to eat my ass? Hey, Scoo. What if she actually said, "Eat my ass."
00:24:59
Did she say that? Because you should have taken her up on it if she like asses. He doesn't care.
00:25:04
You're happy. Happy Gilmore 2. Cuz you're in it. You're in it. Well, he's actually in it. I'm not in it. You're not. You're in it. No, I did like a 4se secondond cameo.
00:25:16
Me and Bobby sat on. We shot it from our studio. They came to us. I remember. Yeah, we're in there for 3 seconds.
00:25:22
You're in it twice. God, I got to Yeah, they show our image twice. I got to get a 3se secondond cameo.
00:25:28
You could get one, dude. I don't know. I'll get you one. Schneider had a shorter one. I'm fine. Schneider was shorter than us.
00:25:33
His cameo. Yeah. Really? He was on a short joke. No. Look how naughty he is. Someone text me last night. Our water. Someone texted me. They go, "I'm at
00:25:44
Sandler's on the road with Sandler and Schneider's [ __ ] making fun of you right now." I'm like, "On stage,
00:25:51
making fun of you?" No, just he makes fun. Why does he tease you so much? Why does Rob Schneider tease me?
00:25:56
Because we're old buddies. Yeah, but he's mean about it because I've seen some of the stuff he's written online about you. His blog is insane.
00:26:01
Are you in the chat rooms? Yeah, dude. And this also says Pton Manning. I thought it was interesting that he
00:26:08
produces White Noise. Yeah, he produced my special. He's they're producing Omaha Productions is producing a lot of He
00:26:15
Payton loves comedy. Okay. You've seen he done he did great on SNL. I thought he I I met him at one of the
00:26:22
the 40th and I said I thought he was the funniest. He was probably the funniest athlete they've had on that show. I think so. He was
00:26:27
next to Joe Montana. Me actually he was on that roast to Rob Low and he he wanted I think he wanted to
00:26:32
get more into comedy. So his production studio was like what if we start producing comedy and they reached out
00:26:38
and I was like uh yeah. And I think two of the executives were big fans. So it just kind of was a natural of you.
00:26:44
No, of you. And they were like, "You're gonna meet David." So they'd seen your standup special and then wanted to do
00:26:50
I I just want to get clarity. I'm not There's no editorializing. You haven't seen you. They actually saw you do standup and
00:26:56
then pursued you to do Tuskany Wine Festival February 4th through the 19th. Please come see me.
00:27:02
I'll be off Netflix. Cheeseburger. They wrote Netflix took it out. We're about to put it back up. In
00:27:07
fact, when this is out was my Netflix special. Um, I'm going to put No, no, I don't know
00:27:12
yours either. Don't Don't be offended. I did actually start to watch your Amazon special. That's nice. Dandelion.
00:27:18
What happened? Is that what it was called? Yeah. Oh, [ __ ] Whoops. No wonder why I turned it off. Sorry. You can't get them all.
00:27:23
Actually called a special dandelion. Blow me. That's what the dog say. No, that's what the dandelion says. You don't get to talk to me that way. You don't say those words. No, I'm saying a Dan line. It looked aggressive, but that was his
00:27:37
pun. I know that's number one with part of a bullet. Did you? So, no. Tell us more about We're on a commercial with your plugs. No, no, no. We don't need to. But no,
00:27:47
I like this. It sounds funny. I want to talk about the special and because No, it's it was your second one.
00:27:52
I shot Minneapolis. It's my third one, but it's Yeah. Netflix and then this one. No, I did one for Showtime years
00:27:59
ago, which which I hated. I've done Showtime, Netflix, and Hulu. I'm trying to touch all the bases. HBO, I'm just saying you're next. You have Here's the thing that happens.
00:28:10
Usually, you've had sets coming up to this special that it happens sometimes in the room. It just happens. So, you're
00:28:16
getting so much back that you're just getting funnier and tighter and you're chasing things, you're extending things,
00:28:21
and then you go to the taping and all the lights and it's really hard to capture that. That's what's frustrating.
00:28:27
Unless you do 10 tapings. No, then you get lucky. I think there's only been about
00:28:34
four or five specials that comics have done that transcend time. Almost every special is it's you cannot tilted and a tight eyes. I just think you can't specials are
00:28:45
good. Like David special was funny. I I hate to say that into the mic. You can't not be funny. But it doesn't matter. But you're
00:28:51
funnier than your special. Every comic is funnier than their special. Every comic live is better than their special.
00:28:56
I don't care who it is. the only people in recent years who have a special that will live on that live I mean Louie
00:29:04
Chappelle rocks earlier stuff but like no one was putting out anything is early on was doing five nights and I've talked to people with the crew and they go after four nights it wasn't happening
00:29:17
and then the fifth one he landed yeah but Louie is Louis a Louis is a you know he's a Mount Rushmore I think he's
00:29:23
one of the greatest that ever touched he's a redheaded man he may be the best standup ever possible. He's in the
00:29:30
conversation only because anybody who can take a 27y old movie Goodwill Hunting and write a new great brilliantly written so clean and
00:29:40
clear and just such this how about them apples you know it's like we know how hard that is to make that
00:29:47
hilarious and he did he's the I think he's the best but there's only a few that transcend time like that but live
00:29:52
we're going to play this clip for Louis he's coming on our podcast he'll be sitting where you are and we're going to
00:29:57
play he would He's unfortunately has to come here. Is he coming? Yeah, he's coming. Is he doing this with you guys?
00:30:03
I'm going to text him. Bad idea. He's got He's writing fiction. He's trying to turn in what do you call
00:30:08
[ __ ] Hemingway for Who's this guy? He wave. What is this guy? [ __ ] He's this guy. Tell some [ __ ] Who's this guy? Edgar Alen Pope.
00:30:15
No, honestly, he wrote an actual book of fiction and he's coming here to publicize it.
00:30:21
We need a camera there on you guys. Yes. Right. I'm just I'm just It's really good to get a 70-year-old in profile. So, they did it for me. You're not 70. Yes, I am.
00:30:32
Are you really? Just get out of here. You know, you look You look so good, man. It's
00:30:38
unbelievable. Thank you. You also look good. See that? So, comedy is misdirect. You thought I was going to say you on the other. What I did was people think I'm That was smart. I I thought you were
00:30:50
going to go and then you went compliment. I can do this all day with the misdirect stuff. Watch this. Okay. I'm really enjoying being here.
00:30:56
Thank you. Am I? Am I? What? Well, the foot you're like is a dead giving. This is a giveaway. This means I got to go outside and pee. That's You've got two guys between us. You know, he makes me pee outside when I
00:31:08
come over here. I can't use the bathroom. Just not now. Okay. They're all broken.
00:31:13
Yeah. My IQ with his IQ equals 170. I won't tell you the ratio where the IQ comes. I could guess where the split is. You're split. You're 100. He's 70. That's not hard.
00:31:25
You are sub. Neither of you are over 100. I'm 120 and he's 50. But it doesn't matter. I auditioned for men. David and I both went to Arizona State. So, I got to bring that up. That's not a school. That's a That's a
00:31:38
keer with a class attached. It's a kegger with a Where did you go to college? I went to San Francisco State [ __ ]
00:31:46
university. Not a real joke. There's no effing in school. It was a joke. Arizona State was a great school. Great. And you graduated. Party's cool. Come on. I did.
00:31:57
Uh-uh. Do you know how to find the base of an isosesles triangle? Yeah. Do you? Yeah, I do, actually.
00:32:02
Do you know what a dangling participle is? No. I'll show it. If I put my pull my pants, I'll show you what it looks like.
00:32:09
A dangling part. Do you believe that under the pyramids in Giza there's things that go straight down?
00:32:15
Oh, yeah. Ger. Oh, yeah. The tunnels. Tunnels. And also, it goes down another mile.
00:32:20
100%. How can you not believe? I agree too. You don't think under the pyramids that
00:32:25
that's a it's an interconnected system of of uh tunnels and light refractors and it's all calculations. You don't believe that or calculations. It's all perfect calculations for like antennas. It's antennas. Can't The only thing
00:32:38
about that is can't we get in there? Here's here's my question. We don't want to ruin it. Here's my question for you guys. We don't want to ruin the ruins.
00:32:45
Do you believe it? You ever redone your bathroom? You know how they just screw up everything while they're doing it? We don't want to do that.
00:32:50
We don't want that. We, you know, we could get, you know, um, a guy down there with a boring drill and and take
00:32:56
video. But do you believe we landed on the moon in 1969? No, not in ' 69. We did not. Here's what I do. Do you believe we
00:33:01
subsequently landed on the moon? Of course. Yeah, we have. Yeah. So, the first one was fake. Then we went back to like prove that our lie
00:33:06
wasn't that crazy. I think we went we circle they had filmed it in case you could see ships or
00:33:16
aliens or anything on the dark anything. And so they said we see them run the clip from now on and we don't land
00:33:22
and we don't ever land. You think we never landed? So we did get there didn't land ran even the subsequent flights.
00:33:28
I mean the amount of proof that we have that that footage is not real is kind of chaotic
00:33:33
at this point. I mean the amount of proof that we have now to go here's a possible that was fake footage. Here's a possible theory. 200 people had
00:33:40
to know the conspiracy. I I was on a three-hour flight with Buzz Aldrin. So he was an award-winning actor talking
00:33:47
about going to the moon like a brilliant liar. So I say if they didn't land on the moon faking it was a greater
00:33:55
achievement than actually landing on the moon. Yeah. I Yeah. He was a great Should we take a pause? Throw in an ad. No. No. Don't throw out the Don't put in an ad.
00:34:05
Do you have ED? Then you need Oh, no. You do a lot of boner pills. We do so many boner pill ads. That's all we do now. Yeah, we're Is it because you guys are too rough around the edges? Yeah, too.
00:34:17
No, we do boner pill ads because men need it. You know, a high percentage of men have erectile dysfunction, David.
00:34:22
And there's nothing wrong with that. That's why there's him. Use code bad friends 10.
00:34:28
Boner pill ads the whole time you say any other boner pills. You get any regular advertise. It's just
00:34:33
boner pills. Oh, we do boner pills and boner supplements, you know. Uh, it's all boner stuff. Have you seen our show?
00:34:40
It's all kids. What do you guys read ads for on this show? Oh, sophisticated company. Toyota and giant multinational.
00:34:47
Oh, you get big. Yeah, we bet MGM. Well, you guys are corporate sellouts. You're shills. Yeah.
00:34:53
Does that hurt? Did that hurt to hear it from the man? No, I was happy. But look what we've been doing so far. Look what we're getting away with. You
00:34:58
guys are too obvious. I have a studio built for three shows a year. We can't afford a camera. We have to be
00:35:05
in profile. I know. Cuz next week though, maybe we'll have one there and we can just look at our
00:35:10
guest and get straight This was like a Geek Squad deal. Whatever these cameras were. They're doing the best they can with
00:35:16
limited budgeting. Put it that way. I I bought the lights. You did? Yeah. And what about who paid for that? I bought that. Dave bought that. I bought your chair
00:35:26
and I bought your mic, right? You did. You bought that. I bought your mic. We're rag tag for that. I couldn't even get an SB7 like one of those. You had to give me like an old handheld. No, I have a one of those [ __ ] pock one.
00:35:38
And how come you guys get the nice ones and get that? It's not bad. It's not high quality for what we
00:35:43
It's not going to have a bassy sexy thing. You're not going to get laid off that, right? This one. You can't. Let's ask him about the firings at SNL.
00:35:50
What do you know about what do you think about because well, you know, this is kind of our theme, but it's very loose.
00:35:57
Um, you you probably did try for SNL because you can do I told you about this. You forgot. I
00:36:03
tested for SNL. Yes. So, and then I went back to New York and had lunch with Lauren and
00:36:10
you didn't say it on this podcast. No, you're right. I'm sorry. No, I tested for Saturday Night Live um maybe
00:36:15
11 years ago. I don't remember what it was. Um something like that because you do impressions and characters.
00:36:20
I did car a bunch of characters. Yeah, I would do characters and voices and uh um it was the final three were me. This
00:36:28
is funny. me, Dan Soder, one of my closest buddies in standup and um and Pete Davidson. And I think you know how that went. Was that that long ago Pete got on? Yeah, it was almost 10 year 10 years
00:36:39
ago. I believe said that it was Pete, me, Pete and Sod. And I tested and then they called uh and Shookus called me and said, "Len wants you to come back and
00:36:51
say you got to go say hi to Lauren." And you know that's a good thing. He wants fly back. So I flew back just to say hello. This is this was
00:36:57
crazy. I flew to New York and I was like, "Is this it? Am I like going to move to New York?" Like this is wild.
00:37:03
And then I got in the office and then he we talked for like an hour about nothing. Chicago. No, he loved talking about
00:37:10
Chicago cuz he know I was from Chicago. Yeah. About other than popcorn. That means he likes you. And then he said, "Uh,
00:37:16
salt." He was like, "Oh, you want to meet everybody?" And so I walked around and met all the writers and everybody
00:37:22
like meeting the family of a girl that breaks. I remember this. But then the and then he said and then he was like, "Uh, can't use you now.
00:37:28
I think you're going to be I think you're going to have a great career. I don't think you're the puzzle piece I'm looking for." Was I think the phrasing.
00:37:35
And I actually loved it. And then people were like mad for me, but I wasn't upset. I was like I think Well, and then
00:37:40
when I realized it was Pete, I talked to Soder and I was like, "Yeah, he's a decade younger than us." We were We had
00:37:47
all been on TV before or whatever. He was like 19 or whatever. He was a kid. So, I was like, "Yeah, they're gonna pick this malleable, cute kid whose dad died in 911 versus a
00:37:58
vulnerable red-headed dad dying." Yeah, my dads are still alive. I got two of them. I got a real dad and a stepdad.
00:38:05
How about that? That's your problem. How about that? Okay. Everything Everything's making sense right now. Like, I'm connecting
00:38:10
you. That's hurting you in the business. Just connecting. I know. I thought about getting rid of one of them. But what do you think of Saturday Night
00:38:16
Live in the LA? You know, people say, "Oh, they're too woke." Or whatever. What do you think of SNL? Uh, I like,
00:38:22
you know, it's so funny. I don't even know how to phrase this, but you mean the Beas and Buttad sketches. I think I think SNL's I've always I've
00:38:29
always been a fan of SNL. I'm not part of the the [ __ ] narrative. It's such a [ __ ] narrative of like they're two
00:38:36
this, two that, two that, two, Dude, you're they only say that because SNL is built, you know, when SNL is at its best when it's built for its audience. And its audience is usually
00:38:47
younger than you. So when you're like, I don't like these sketches, it's like because it's not for you. Well, it is true. If you're in grade if
00:38:54
you're in junior high or high school and you're just coming on to then SNL, that's your that's your past. That's
00:39:00
your hero. That's who you Yeah. Like for I was I just said it to her like my entire youth build around
00:39:06
watching SNL like incessantly was watching you guys, which I hate to say. And when I say you guys, you know, it's just you Dana, it's not David. Wayne's World came out one in ' 91, I think. What? How old were you about? You
00:39:19
were like 10 or something, right? I was born in ' 83. So you were like nine. Yeah.
00:39:25
Eight. But the zeitgeist of that was Wayne's world was one like that's, you know, I could quote every line from that movie.
00:39:31
I couldn't quote one line from Joe Dirt. Go to commercial. Go to the podcast. David, it's a joke. I can't believe it. Dave, we won't have any commercials when
00:39:42
you're leaving. He's making fun of I'll give you a line to test you. Go ahead. What is this movie is this from?
00:39:49
Oh, this is good. Here we go. Swing. Come on, dude. It's not even funny. Say, Wayne, or did you say have a nice party, Wayne? Which one? Does he say
00:40:02
party on Wayne? He said, "Where's the party, Wayne?" You know what my mom says to me on the phone all the time? By the way, this is
00:40:08
great. My mom No, pinky down. My mom says my mom says um all the time like if to end a call she'll go she's okay. She says that all the time. Do you know what that's from? Joe.
00:40:20
See how do you not know? See he doesn't know. I met a woman and her sister. They're in their 40s and
00:40:27
they go when we talk when we I call her we never say hello. We say we say John Braggly. John Brugal. So I think you
00:40:34
must have that. People go who's Anthony? Who's Anthony? Who's Anthony? I say that all the time. Do you know what that is too? You don't
00:40:40
know these. That's from Apocalypse Now. Uh-huh. Who's Anthony? Who's Anthony? My drummer. You're not even mixing it up.
00:40:46
Trump's Robert Duval meme. I'm going to say all his movies. That's the bit. David, that's the bit. I'll do your movies. You ready? You want
00:40:52
me to do your movies? Robert, you don't know any Robert? Oh, really? I don't know any. Yeah, he's a See, look at how vulnerable he's being
00:40:59
right now. He's so cute when you get nervous. No, I'm trying to find the lens. Uh, David, this is this is why with me on
00:41:05
the podcast. I'm turning my neck trying to find the camera. No, we're going to move that. You know what? I think we have an extra camera. I
00:41:10
think your best line is in any of your movies. Oh, that's a good question. Yeah. Your best line or your best maybe
00:41:16
delivery of a line. Okay. Um is that so? No, I'm trying to think of my favorite because I I do like Can you think of any? Mhm. Top one. You can't think of one. You
00:41:28
[ __ ] don't do this to You have just too many common scenes, you know, like you have scenes that are that are that are, you know, like you and the uh who was your favorite little rascal? That
00:41:39
whole [ __ ] thing with you and Farley. Like that whole back and forth. How about this one? You you Huh? They're called doctors.
00:41:45
They're called a lot of people go to school. What's the context for that? I don't know. That was when goes Yeah.
00:41:54
You went to his He goes, I graduate in just under seven years, right? Just a shade under seven years. He was a lot of people go to school for seven years. They're called doctors. They're called improv.
00:42:05
Um that was by the plane. I don't know. That's got to be you. Do you find your ways
00:42:11
last longer like or jokes that a written joke in anything? A joke that you really like or a bit you really like it never gets quite the response you want, but then people meet you 10 years later and go, "Oh, love
00:42:24
that bit." Yeah. a stupid line, a throwaway line that you didn't esoteric or something you didn't even like that much.
00:42:30
The biggest I get yelled, "I'm Bobby mom." And that's a thing we did on the show. People yelled at me in the airport. In
00:42:37
the airport, people would be like, "I'm Bobby mom." But it was like a throwaway joke and people are obsessed. I can't even
00:42:44
find the humor in it because I'm like, "It's so [ __ ] funny." And is it Bobby Mother or Bobby mom? I'm Bobby Ma. I'm Bobby mom. Because
00:42:50
you know this is well I've just seen a making fun of my mom and and his mom he was going soft at you and then you really [ __ ] that's how we operate. So honor and his mom has a lazy eye
00:43:02
and we don't talk about it and then I did an impression of of a woman with a lazy eye.
00:43:08
I did this with a lazy eye and I'm mom and it just kind of the internet loved it but it was just
00:43:13
him and I being mean to each other because that's that's like our entire relationship. Are you going to say that in
00:43:19
Job Square in Job Square obvious so clean and tight. I'm Bobby Bum. Boom. It's just like it's I think people took to it because it's um there's no setup as well. Well, no one's doing that.
00:43:32
The context of you talking to Bobby and saying that. So they like that. There's a lot of energy around that. You get
00:43:38
away with stuff about him being Asian and most people can't touch that. So you get a lot of great jokes that Yeah. are somehow baked in because they know your friends. Yeah. I
00:43:49
I you know I've always I've always said this with comedy and you guys know this this is I'm speaking boring talk but
00:43:55
no the audience will love it. No no it's boring. No but the thing about comedy that everyone the truth about comedy is you can say I don't like
00:44:01
this like what can you say? You can say anything as long as there's no vitil below it. Like if there's no like hatred or
00:44:08
putrid, people can feel when something but they know when I make fun of him or I say something that's like racial.
00:44:15
It's because it's my best, but they can feel that it's the thing. They they they just know America's smart enough to know
00:44:21
the difference between when they're like, I didn't put this well enough to Bobby, but I his reaction his his still
00:44:27
face, which is a big part of the big dead big part of comedy was Stan Laurel, Jack Benny, you go forward. Johnny Carson had
00:44:34
his one to the camera and Bobby Lee is in that hall of fame of Johnny. He's Ed McMahon. Is that what
00:44:39
you're saying? Basically, but the way he'll react to you with such, you know, there's there's
00:44:44
intelligence behind it. It's just he goes very still. Yeah. And that's there's there's this comic
00:44:50
tension. And so every time I see you guys clip in that, I don't I enjoy it every time because of boom boom boom and then he's just totally still.
00:45:00
Yeah. He's a he's a genius. He's a deliberate genius. I think people think it's like this big dumb clown.
00:45:05
It's all even and then sometimes off camera we'll do bits. I know he knows better. A clip just went
00:45:12
out the other day about we had this guy who's trying to be on the show who's from Dominican Republic. And I was He's
00:45:18
got this high voice. He's like, "I'm from the Dominican." And we're already in on this guy. Like I love this guy.
00:45:24
And I said, "Where you from, buddy?" And he said, "The Dominican Republic." And then Bobby goes, "Have you ever been to
00:45:29
have you ever been anywhere tropical? It's like he's born on a [ __ ] island, dude. And it just like it was us dying at each other. Then afterwards, I was like, that was really good. And he knew,
00:45:41
but he knows how to play me making fun of him. Like, we give each other layups and then
00:45:47
the audience can't feel it half the time, which is great, but it's funny how good he is sometimes at sneaking out.
00:45:52
The master of it in our generation was Don Rickles. Yeah. Well, he was he could go so cutting, but it never and
00:45:59
he went with every racial group, right? He shot at everybody. Everybody, but it was also because Don did it with
00:46:04
and I've said this before, comedy matters how it looks coming out of your face. So, if Don didn't look like he
00:46:10
looked, it would have been like if if John Ham says a bitey racial joke, I bet you people go, "That's true." Yeah, too much. Don is like a shorter fat bald
00:46:22
like a widefaced eyed like yo and this guy and look at the Japanese guy. He had that kind of turtle. He had a
00:46:28
turtly body. Yeah. But if you're like a handsome strapping it's no one wants to. Yeah. Imagine Brad Pitt doing crowd work
00:46:36
just [ __ ] on some guy who can't get a date and he's Brad Pitt. We don't want to see that.
00:46:41
Rickles is the funniest comedian of all time on some level when he wasn't doing that because he would just do rhythm jokes that made no sense. Ed, the show started. Put him Put him in the corner,
00:46:52
give him a cookie, right? You know, put him in the corner, give him a cookie. What the [ __ ] is that, you know? But it's a great It's that
00:46:58
the rhythm and the rhythm and the idea is good. The show started 20 minutes ago. Pack him in ice. You know, so I
00:47:03
don't know. I'm such a fan. Pack him in ice. But anyway, I loved them. I didn't like that people
00:47:09
in the new generation think of him as an insult comedian. That bothers me that people like he's the original insult. You're like that's not what he that wasn't insult comedy. They do but they do that because of what happens now because of crowd people are
00:47:21
like I will say roast have gotten pretty [ __ ] rough. If you look at the old Dean Martin rose, they're all good friends. Like John Wayne, Clark Gable,
00:47:29
you know, Gary Grant, Jimmy Stewart, and they're all like this guy, you know, and it was kind of like ribbing, but now
00:47:35
it's like hired assassins that don't know the person. Yeah. They're just being mean. They've come in and [ __ ] take your
00:47:40
legs out to get their own career going. But that's also because the internet is everyone is there is no whimsy of
00:47:48
Hollywood stardom anymore. There's no like these famous people know each other. Now it's everyone is
00:47:54
everyone's scattered. Yeah, it's scattered. It doesn't mean anything anymore. I do. Hollywood's dead, baby.
00:48:00
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00:49:35
Uh, oldtimey. I do new timey. Old timey is like I do people more. I can really just do people. That was something they asked in the SNL thing too. They were like, "You
00:49:46
can't do famous people." I was like, "I can do more people that I know or pe charact based on people than I can do."
00:49:53
You have an ear. Like my dad's I did a character of this um insec a southern insecure high school
00:50:00
football coach with which they loved. They told me to bring it back that the second time I taped. That sounds funny. And it was and because he's so his voice
00:50:07
and this is one of my dad's real friends, but he'd be like, "Andrew, Andrew, I bet you can't do 100 push-ups. They give you $100, boy. And that was
00:50:14
like this booming voice. And so I can I can push that into something, but I can't. What state is that? That's a good voice. North Carolina. North Carolina. Yeah, North Carolina. He go, Andrew,
00:50:25
come on, boy. You going to run like that? I'm going to tell your daddy you run like that. And he had this like guttural. He wasn't
00:50:31
he wasn't like a daunting figure. So I was like, it's funny if he was really insecure about sports, but he has this booming
00:50:38
man voice. Yeah. So that like I can do those things with people. Yeah. Can I say my best my best? Yes.
00:50:45
My best test that I love. Save it for the next podcast. No, but it's funny. I my favorite thing
00:50:51
I did when I tested for SNL. Okay. And I was afraid they were anything else. Well, I was afraid they were going to
00:50:56
hate it. Uh but it was um the world's most claustrophobic elevator attendant. Anything the world's most nice the world's most claustrophobic elevator attendant. And I thought, oh, it's going
00:51:07
to tank. But I but it was fun to do. Well, it's really physical. It's a like a standup act out, but it's me and just
00:51:13
in the elevator going, "Hi, how are you?" Yeah. Oh, good. And 24. Oh, 24. Just breaking down. And then getting prepared for it. Yeah. And when I would hit 24, I'd go, "It's good day. Weather is good." 12, here we
00:51:26
are. Almost almost up there. And I would get more like breathing and nervous. And I would start screaming as it went up.
00:51:31
But when it hit 24, I go, "Ah, 24. Here's your floor. Thank you." And it was so dumb. But they liked it. But I
00:51:38
like it's original. Yeah. I like that stuff. I like little kind of nuggy weird more than me doing impressions. I really
00:51:44
wasn't good at impressions. How many people are there? Huh? How many people are in the room when you audition? Is it at 8H?
00:51:50
Yeah, it was at 8H on the floor. It was And the desk was I think Colin. Oh, wow. Well, cuz he was just about to get the had writing. I think he Well, he was I think he was writing.
00:52:02
Yeah, he was writing, but he was about to do update and about to update. Exactly. I think he was I don't They
00:52:07
wanted his opinion about stand-ups because I think he knew a lot of standups. Okay. Uh um who else was there? I don't know.
00:52:14
Whatever. There was like four or five people at the table, but it was at 8H in the dark and I forgot to slate. That was like a Why did
00:52:21
you forget to show your I have a trivia for you. What? I was at Louis audition. Were you really?
00:52:26
Yeah. Your precious Louis. Did he bomb? Cuz he did standup, right? What year was that? That was um
00:52:32
late 90 mid 90s. I asked Bomb only because I He's not right for SNL. Let's wait and talk to Louis. I gave Louis his first real job. Whoops.
00:52:39
Oh yeah, this is true. What? A headwriter on the Dana Carvey show. Ill faded Dana Carvey show.
00:52:45
It's a great show. Great writer. And he and he got cancelled. He was the head writer. Everything good gets
00:52:50
I'm bitter about it. Well, it was me it was meant for HBO. I got talked out of it. But it was meant for in because we didn't have Netflix.
00:52:57
It couldn't be, you know, following a home improvement and now the Dana Carvey root beer show or mug root beer show.
00:53:03
And it's like Oh, that's right. Mug. Mostly we just started with Clinton Tits and that took us down. But the show was not really
00:53:09
blue. It was esoteric, abstract, Monty Python, whatever, you know, just wasn't a
00:53:15
But that's okay. You just keep moving at show. But have you had any big disappointments so far? Like [ __ ] and
00:53:20
take a knee like besides being on this podcast. This one's What if everything wrong and you're on here again?
00:53:25
I think you're doing really well. It's a strong It's funny that you say It's funny that you say dis I haven't had a lot. I mean,
00:53:32
I haven't been on the I I did that show Dave was kind of a hit, but outside of that, I I haven't done anything big. I
00:53:39
mean, what do you think about Shane and and Brigatsi and this this evolution of a
00:53:45
lot of comedians doing kind of like arenas and maybe stadiums and then how do we get Andrew Santino, this young man with a two What's the biggest rooms that you
00:53:57
play currently or a city that you do well in? Well, I do I mean I do pretty well on the road.
00:54:02
I mean I play when I do theaters when I do a theater tour after I've like warmed up it's like uh 1500 to 2500. Chicago
00:54:10
theaters like 4,000 that's home for me. So I can do those. All right,00 go to 10,000 or 12. You know the next jump to field houses. Um 10. That's Bert Chrysler.
00:54:22
Yeah. Just a level of awareness of fansship I get. I don't know. I don't really pine for to be I'm being genuine. I don't those are tougher. I don't really care
00:54:28
for that. I don't know like fun. It's more lucrative. Small rooms are more fun. Very tough. Yeah. But I mean, like even a theater of
00:54:35
1,500 to 2500 though, that realm that I'm in, that's great. I don't really care. Once you start getting into the five, six, 7,000 seats, it's a different sport.
00:54:45
Well, it just feels different, too. Like Bobby and I just did London and Dublin, and it was 10,000 in London and like six in Dublin. And
00:54:53
10,000 is just kind of like I've did I just did San Jose with Shane. and I popped in on his arena show and I've
00:54:59
done arenas. I did arenas with Rogan for years and Mhm. I I don't I like them cuz it's with your
00:55:05
friends, right? But as a performance, it's not the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] is the guy in 48
00:55:11
Football. What does he see? Yeah. Yeah. This Well, big screen. This is what they're doing the whole show. I mean, they're up against the ceiling and they're looking at a at you on a
00:55:23
mega screen talking. Yeah. There's no energy back. But I would rather like tight intimate
00:55:30
venues where almost every seat is a good seat. It might go back to that. It's just not the I never if I was a fan in the early days
00:55:35
and I went and saw Steve Martin in Berkeley, I wasn't thinking I hope it's a great show. I wasn't even thinking
00:55:41
like that. I wasn't thinking I'm going to laugh my ass off. I was just like it's Steve Martin. Well, that's I think a big piece of
00:55:46
seeing someone famous like Shane, you know, because he's all over YouTube. I'm seeing Shane, you know, that they're in your city. They're right
00:55:52
there. Yeah. Shane's the most famous comic of our generation. He is a once in a-lifetime talent. So, I get why people just go to see him just to see him. But as a fan of comedy, I would hate to not
00:56:04
be able to see the comedy, right? It would bug me. I'd be like, "What? I can't even see the guy." You have to have screens at a certain
00:56:09
level of of room over like 2500 3,000. It you have to have a screen because you have to see what the [ __ ] going on. Plus, you're doing smaller. I I work smaller and it'll throw away. You work very small.
00:56:21
Very small. You are not even jokes. No, you're very good at working tiny little like tin your eye movements. I'm being
00:56:27
genuine. You're very good at like just very small contained comedy moments. That's why you make me laugh so hard
00:56:33
when I see you live. But yes, you in a big room is unless you've got a camera like that, right?
00:56:39
That's tough. I'm going to jump on with Adam for a few of his. But his are always big rooms. It's fun. Again, fun people come on.
00:56:45
Neon will be there. Uh Schwarz and How come Adam doesn't invite you? He does. He does. But you don't go. I might I might jump
00:56:52
on a couple. I don't know to get Dana to get off his duff. It's not I don't really like big big shows like here's and then now here's
00:56:58
Nick Swarson, here's David, you know, and then here I don't really like I'd rather just to me the the forgetting
00:57:05
money would be like um 500 seat theater, 800 seat theater. A thousand is kind of the magic or a thousand right on top of you. Like what's the big the rooms in Minneapolis? The one that has on raking on three
00:57:17
sides. I I used to play that a lot. I don't know. I just did pant that's right. fil my special. I did my special in Minnesota, too.
00:57:24
Yeah, I think so. But you and I both did that. You play off the crowd, right? I mean, my act is not set. If they like
00:57:30
something I'm doing, I'll just keep doing it. More and more I've gotten more just jokes because of what's happened to
00:57:36
people thinking that they're a part of the show. And I don't like that. Oh, I don't get that. that starts. Well, just kind of like I
00:57:42
think because the internet is like crowdwork clips and clips and crowdwork stuff talking back and like
00:57:49
I'm not interested in that. Like like at the club, at the store, at a club when we're working out, yeah, I can have some
00:57:55
fun. But when I'm doing the theater, it's like, dude, I build you an hour. That was the whole point of doing a theater tour. Otherwise, you see me in
00:58:00
the club and it's more like if they love Biden, I'll keep doing Biden. But that's that's different. That's you egging into what you do best.
00:58:06
Well, doing what I would do with friends. But now there's people out in the crowds that are like
00:58:11
cuz they want to be on a clip of you going, "What does this [ __ ] idiot do?" Oh, cuz they might be in a clip. You
00:58:17
know Kirk Fox? I saw him this morning and he goes, "Uh, do you ever avoid people in the crowd?" I go, "Avoid?"
00:58:23
Yeah. First, I don't like do eye contact cuz if you're looking, it takes you out of your head and someone's playing Wordle in the front. They're not even
00:58:28
watching. So, I don't like that. And then if someone walks by and I say something like to your point earlier, I
00:58:35
don't want to start that up. So when they come back kind of peacocking in, I kind of quietly go to this side of the
00:58:40
room so I don't see them. So you don't see them anymore. And then they can't get my attention and then people go, "Here he comes." Like
00:58:46
he's going to go into him. I I'm not a go into him guy. So I do a little bit if something's very obvious, but when you open that up, you just start hearing Joe Der. They're yelling stuff. I don't even
00:58:56
know what to answer. Well, because they're fans. I think the guy that yells the loudest likes you the most. Ironically, they want to be the
00:59:03
biggest fan. Sure. The people that don't like you are going to sit there and go, the worst is when you're just your act's
00:59:08
going well and you see someone who's standing up all of a sudden. Hey, I just wanted to tell you, you know, once they stand up, you're like,
00:59:15
or they're at the side of the stage. In the old days in the clubs, the guys at the side of the stage, do you do you
00:59:20
defend the stage? I leave. Some guys go, let's fight. I'm going to No, I'm not going to fight somebody. I
00:59:25
got to go. Why would you fight? They I'm going back to the Holiday Inn and I'm going You want it? You got it. Yeah, you have it. Take it. Take it
00:59:31
over. I'm going back to the Super Eight. I'm going to relax. I'm going back to that Motel 6 against the highway.
00:59:37
The best western Boseman, Montana. Been there. Have you? I've been there. Where the walls thin
00:59:43
and the towels and the soaps mall. What? Yeah. I'm from Montana. So Boseman. Boseman.
00:59:49
Boseman is a nice town. Montana. Boseman. I'm from Bosezeman, Montana. They don't have a set. And there was a Pepsi machine outside of
00:59:54
the window and the hum was so loud I couldn't go to bed. It was like I know. We've had
01:00:00
sewage in the room. I mean, yeah. Just like always Pepsi. She's always Montana's beautiful, stunning. Go there and you
01:00:07
know in the summertime and go around Flathead and Whitefish and Park and Missoula where I was born and Boseman
01:00:14
down there property there. No, why not? We're done. We were just driving toward Whitefish to buy a lakehouse in like 95
01:00:21
would have been maybe 600,000. Now it' be 60 million. And somehow we go let's have lunch. We didn't go buy it. Should have, would have, could have. How good was a lunch? Should have, would have, could have. You got 60 million. Go do it. M
01:00:34
fried catfish and white fish. No, they're not catching with fishing. That's how Mississippi used. What do they sound like in Montana? Montana. Hello. I'm from Montana. I
01:00:44
don't really discern an accent. I have a Montana accent. Don't let it throw you off. I'm from Montana.
01:00:51
Montana. This is how we talk in Montana. Yeah, I got to get him to that guy. All right, I have to go check out of the
01:00:57
hotel. I don't want to end this cuz it's a blast. But no, but Andrew, I do want to end it. Let me see. Um,
01:01:03
couple quick things before you want to say. Let him have the floor. I don't even think we got to say anything.
01:01:10
White noise on Hulu. It's already It's on Hulu. You got to keep promoting. So, this would be Please watch it. If you don't watch it,
01:01:15
literally nothing changes. But I'd like you to One last question. When you were on, what singular thing or
01:01:22
on the podcast moved the needle the most where you got where you felt a bump? Like, do you feel in my career?
01:01:27
Yeah. Is it on shows? Is it Dave? Is it Dave felt a bump? I'm dying if there was a little bump. But Bad Friends was
01:01:34
But Bad Friends was a slow bump or just one time something clicked. Oh, it clicked. I think when we we
01:01:40
started the show, we started the show after Bobby got out of rehab when his dad died and then uh Funny, funny,
01:01:46
funny, funny. That's funny. I'm liking it so far. His dad died. He went to rehab. Great premise.
01:01:51
Put I put him in rehab uh because I was concerned about him. We were kind of like, you know, we were going through it
01:01:56
a little bit. We uh it was a big point of contention of our relationship being genuine because I was like, "You got to
01:02:02
get clean, dude. This is [ __ ] up." And he was kind of holding it against me because he was like, "You can't tell my girlfriend that I was using again." And
01:02:09
I was like, "Well, this is going to ruin our entire friendship." And like, "You got to go. This is bad." M. So, we had this conversation.
01:02:14
We had the same thing. Yeah, I know. And then when he finally got clean, which was great. He got out and he was like, I think I'm
01:02:20
ready to like start that show that we had been talking about it. Cuz I had filled in for him on his show at Tiger
01:02:25
Belly. The fans liked when we were together. And then we started the show. I found the studio. We started the show and
01:02:32
um, no joke, but like co thankfully hit and people were at home and you were already doing it within the first three months of us doing that show. COVID hit and the show exploded cuz people were at home sad,
01:02:43
weird, and bored and they were like, "Well, this is an escapism, but you could still go in and do it. We did it from our studio." So, we had
01:02:49
And the biggest joke is or the biggest inside thing is that little girl Rudy, who is his ex-girlfriend's niece, this
01:02:56
little girl that's on the show often, she was sent by his ex-girlfriend to make sure Bobby wouldn't go anywhere
01:03:02
during CO. So, after we filmed it was like, "Don't let him go eat somewhere or go somewhere or go
01:03:08
track off into anywhere." also cuz he was fresh out of rehab. So she was like, "Make sure he's going to the meetings and to record the show
01:03:14
and that was it." And she became a fixture of the show and then became like a beloved figure of the It was just kind of everything organically slotted into
01:03:21
place cuz we were we were just that show was just the most fun I've ever had. Fun to watch. Great. Just chemistry, right? It's stupid. It's dumb. It's I know. I love it. It's stupid.
01:03:31
It's all fun. We had a blast. You guys need to be a lot dumber. Yeah, I see you on the charts. We're too smart up there. You're around
01:03:37
Conan numbers. Yeah. No, we're bigger than Conan for sure. You're bigger. I think most weeks I most weeks were
01:03:43
number four or four to six. Which chart do you check? Uh Apple podcast were number four to six
01:03:48
every week. Spotify charts were sometimes higher. But the only reason we're not threatening Rogan or call me daddy.
01:03:55
Oh no. Call me daddy. The call me daddy. If they We're not going to threaten Rogan. I
01:04:01
think the only reason we can't get any bigger is because we're so immature. Yeah. There's an audience of people that
01:04:06
are not going to listen to how immature the show is. So, we're not we're never going to like transcend this. But if you if you guys are having fun,
01:04:13
that's pretty great. The most fun killing it. It's it's money. It's fun. It's so much better than out there.
01:04:19
It's better. It's better than anything I've ever done. It's the only thing I've ever done that I like. And if I get to keep doing it, great.
01:04:25
Yeah. And if not, this guy's replaceable. Why this poor guy? Phil's not replaceable. The the chair. Phil hates that I made
01:04:36
that joke about him right at Phil. No, he's saying he's saying Chin will be on that.
01:04:42
Phil's mad. He's [ __ ] mad. Phil, I'm just because his name is Bill. Bill. No, his name is Phil. Thank you. And Ethan or Evan.
01:04:52
He has no idea. Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app. Give us a review, fivestar rating, and maybe even
01:05:06
share an episode that you've loved with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on
01:05:12
video now. Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by Danny Carvey
01:05:17
and David Spade, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet
01:05:30
Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogerty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa
01:05:39
Wester, Hillary Shuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gainner, Shan Cherry, Kirk Courtourtney, and Lauren Vieiraa. Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email
01:05:52
us at fly onthealla.com. That's audacy.com.