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[Music] I have a buddy from high school that text me and he calls me texts me and then uh I was like hey I'm I'm at
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Saturday Night Live and uh we're taping he goes all right just call me after and
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then that was it just like all right no like even acknowledge you that I'm hosting s
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really all right well just call me after yeah just like just just call me I'm all
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right yeah I'll be done I'm on SpaceX we're just going to go one loop around the world okay call me 101 a.m. he's
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like dude I saw you're [Music] over you know what I hate though Dana other than you're boring your wings no I like that uh I I can't say when I'm
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under a light and it flickers and I don't like the people that don't notice it like a fluorescent light that
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goes it's like a I hate that hate can we not sit under this light and they're like what Li I worked here for 26 years
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what like I you don't know this is flicking in your eyes like they're like this is yeah your nightmare is
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blasted cold air that you can't control I hate that a light that's going on and off and kind of
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swinging is there a third thing that would would complete the nightmare I'm such a colossal [ __ ] that there's the
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list is longer than a CVS receipt the things that I can't handle I was just on the road obviously we talk about this I
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was in Florida by the way where I don't know if you heard the news it's going to be a Whopper heading that way W man and I was uh worried about them worried
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about me a little bit TBH but uh I started I went lastek so I just got back so today's Friday so Friday tonight I have
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Denver tonight you're recording your special in Denver yeah tonight my my ambiguous special and tomorrow Kansas City is that the name of the special my
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ambiguous special that's not bad that's not bad it's also I could call it tomorrow night
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Kansas City then tomorrow or it's tomorrow Saturday it's Kansas City yes there we
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go so it's not enough to shoot a special and kind of have a cocktail and relax for a day they got you right back on the
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road I know that's a funny thing because we just picked a city on the road Denver has been good to me over the years
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because I used to go to The Comedy Club there and all so it's a good comedy town and so we thought special there we just
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tacked on another show Paramount Theater uh I think you could still get in because we want to pack it up juicily
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and then Kansas which will be fun and then I got Atlantic City in a couple weeks at the uh Ocean City Resort but
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I'm not that that the tour is kind of over now I'm just going to go have fun with some gigs and some casinos can we
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say now or is it not known when this special we know it's being shot tonight when will it be released won't be out till uh q1 2020 okay so you have a a
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sweet Dandy 8 10 week window to repeat these jokes until until you get booed sarily off the stage [ __ ] you Spade write a new
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joke no I'm gonna give everyone a warning I'm gonna give a a statement to the world I am sort of old
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school there's we talk about this in the show a lot do you write new jokes when you're doing a new hour or do you do the
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same obviously people like to write new jokes and uh oh [ __ ] this is a good one I'll give my speech because I think we
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got a guest how do we do this guest did he okay I'll tell him to zoom in I'll say
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click the button I guess click the button I guess God let us know when he gets on if he does and then we'll jump but people
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do a whole new hour but sometimes I feel like it's watered down when I watch some random comedians
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an an hour once a year is too tough David tell I like Greatest Hits I think a 45 minute why does it
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have to be an hour that's because television commercial or something I mean David tell his actual standup was
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like 36 minutes and he played the flute or something we know we know as standups
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that that you can go to 40 maybe 45 if there's going to be a low and then you have to reup it for the finish unless you don't have that you see a concert and you go you know they open big and
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then they go and then there's a while you're going to get a hot dog come back and you know then you go oh here's one I like and then then at the end they close
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start that's kind of like anything you know so you have to fill an hour to go on the road and there's some jokes I
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like so much I don't care I can get rid of half of them but I like to churn out new ones but I like to have a few tent
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BS in there that I like that fans like and so sometimes I'll keep those around well good Bits good bits all
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you you want to hear them more than once really if it's a good story and you're you're just getting more into it every time you hear it you know like Carlin Alin back in the day or Steve Martin I
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wouldn't hear a wild crazy guy and go done that you know repeatable I want to see when I see comics and show my
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friends I want to hear the bits that I liked and if they don't do them I go oh I wanted you to hear this one blah blah
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anyway we'll see if our mystery guest is uh knows how to operate his phone is he
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on you'll let us know when he comes on is driving he said he just said I can jump on whenever and I said Okay click
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the button of the thing that I copied and paste it to you I guess it's a invite this is like
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let's call him I don't know if we're gonna use the first part of this but it's a it's a secret guest a secret guest is coming on secret
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guest that doesn't know how to use this uh okay so we'll just keep going but I I'm excited uh for this weekend uh
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Florida was fun practice good good crowd so here's what I did Dana I go okay all the way to like Palm Beach you know
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direct nonstop it's already it's already getting I flew nonstop to Lauderdale and drove up oh and then drove down yeah
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yeah got it then yeah this is a bit of a beating on the driving then yeah it's super humid I wanted to golf but I had no one there to golf with and it's getting the storms are coming we already
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have storms in Florida pre hurricane so MH I'm already in that drive 4 hours to what was it called Heather Fort Meyers yeah for Fort Meyers where my brother
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lives 10 minutes from there in pag Gorda and he's there's been tornadoes all around him just as we oh just now just
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now as we speak and he doesn't have a seller he doesn't have a seller but he's all boarded up oh a seller because he's
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not in Kansas he's in Florida you can only you can only get a license for a seller in Kansas and you have to have a
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little dog and red shoes and you have to pound on it with one foot it's just the regulatory thing did you get that okay
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no I got it it took me a second uh well Fort Myers is where the storm's going to
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that's Ground Zero they're going to wamp it right there and they were nervous and I also lost my coat poor me how do you
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lose a coat it's such a story it's so dramatic lows I didn't know where I put it and it's so cold [ __ ] everywhere because everywhere's so hot you're inside oh
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yeah a cool yeah I always have a c on it's just a light one Freez fre couldn't find it thought I was in the booth at this restaurant and sometimes it slides down because I you know it's it was a
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small cool Italian restaurant but when you take pictures with the chef and the staff they you have to scoot over in the
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booth they sit in the booth with you they go I thank you for coming if we take a p i go okay you want to go up
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front and then they just sit with me they go no scoot your fat ass over oh in here over yeah and many clicks girls like it when we clicky click wait we're
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being interrupted hey naate bgi naate barazi we were trying to figure out your heritage because I always go into an Italian accent if I say your name yeah
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Nate burgatti is coming on or is it Romanian or no it's Italian yeah Somalian Italian
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yeah so anyway Nate yes M Nate and I saw each other a few nights ago after Saturday Night Live and we were sitting with Jim gaffan Lauren Michaels Nate and I was pretty cool and it was like 4 4:30
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when we kind of said I gotta go or something it was really because Lauren is a night out it happened so quick like
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it's just you don't realize what's going on then it's you know because you don't get done to one and then by the time you
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even get anywhere it's two it's a Time Warp you're back there high-fiving everyone going because we have to tell
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the crowd that Nate hosted again and so he's back there getting his aades and high five and going tell me in different
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words how good I was just throw a few different adjectives they heard those and then they go n Nate your limo is
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they still do that Dana you go down and there's a bunch of cars waiting we got Nate Where's Nate's car
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boom take him to the party all these uh SUVs I just want to officially say before we go further is congratulations because the second time hosting has its own sense of you know whatevers maybe
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one trick pony or whatever and that was a great show the monologue Crush did I saw the you a bit longer at the dress honked it down Washington was uh great
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again you know and that was you know I was like when I saw that I goes the other one was so [ __ ] amazing I how
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are they going to follow it but they did did so anyway it's how are you feeling enough about me yeah how are you feeling
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right now uh yeah the same way I felt good I felt the same thing about Washington when we first started talking to him about doing it I was like uh you
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know I was like I don't know you know it was so good but uh when we did it when we were read the table read or and then when we were like talking to I kind of
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got it like it was like all right like it's just a fun it's a fun thing to reoccur the jokes kind of right yeah
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yeah and you're not even really trying to top it you're just kind of being you know I was you know I like I think it
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just was like we don't need to drag it out we don't need to do anything and they know St stream Mikey I mean they
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knew what to do and yeah uh just to you're not yeah you're not trying to top it it's a fun thing to play it's a very
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funny thing to do and you just go like yeah we're just GNA do it again because you liked it the first time they know
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the setup they're halfway there so they just say here's me doing this now here come the jokes and they're ready that's
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that's always a good place to be you don't have to you don't have to spend the first two minutes explaining the
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sketch which sometimes happens and it looked kind of cool you know standing in a boat and everything it's kind of it's
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a cool thing to look at you know you did a lot of movement Nate funny because these are the minor things I looked at
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when I saw it you start and I think if you're a host that hasn't done tons of acting it's hard even when you've done a ton but to move around and look at cards is kind of tricky and you're walking
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between people is there any trickiness to that or am I crazy no no yeah I mean because you're having to switch the cards so I mean they obviously this is the best to do it Saturday Night Live
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but you're having to switch the Q cards and then you're going and then sometimes you're like uh some of the pausing
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weirdly enough can be just because you're in between a card you just like and everybody's like man that timing was great you're like well I just couldn't find where I was here's a question on
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the car does it say turn yes they wrote yeah they wrote everything down for me so I'm colorblind and so I have trouble with the black and green and brown like they can all kind
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of see the col yep those are the colors so it was red blue indigo what was your color cuz I'm I'm red what what was your actual color did they tell you black black oh the host is black d you know
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[ __ ] bid red that's a scoop I was in the 80s let's go back I just been red every time I show up I have no idea were you red when you go to when were you always red on I I don't play it pops
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come on the secrets of the trade I was green but uh what a loser that's the worst color Nate would have never seen mine I don't know and just oh I would read I would have read yours you just
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read everyone's L yeah how do they differentiate that's what I did with it was dur it wasn't on uh a tape but it was during uh
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either the Run throughs it was like uh the Run throughs I was reading Heidi like the last time I did it I was reading like one part I read mind and
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Heidi and and I thought the whole card was I was like man this whole card's me I
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[Music] guess how much time more now because you're the first color blown host and it brings uh issues and you you know it's hard Dana cuz you
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know you're going like this watching I think we should have a dozen donuts then you go it says that way and you go three
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steps sorry Mikey excuse me then you go this pause right here is where you're in
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no man's land you're like I just jumped from safety of knowing what I'm doing freef fall oh card and it better
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[ __ ] be there you're like I will not know what I do if I don't find a card when I land here okay it really works it
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this just really works do so I mean because the Washington you're the way you play the character he's so lowii and
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he's not pushing these ideas they're just the jokes are just laid out and they're it's seductive it's just fun to
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listen to so I'm thinking for you you've done the monologue Washington kills or you're it's great and then what was your
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third one was the the slide or um the guy dream the golf thing oh the golf thing which was a free tape and just
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great talk to that yeah that's I mean that's been uh we shot it at Van courland which is it might be the oldest public course in America it was like
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1895 uh and they we blocked the hole off which apparently people were they were pretty upset sure the the the usual the
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people that teed off in the morning but uh that was they play that go Ranch every day yeah that one made me laugh
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because I was a I'm a golfer and so also the easiness of like you didn't have to do much and it was a big score because
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you're just it's like setup joke something else joke and uh and it was working it wasn't not working so fun to watch it's musical it's like quiet quiet quiet the
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swing whack the crowd and then the golfer dealing with it it was like it was just you were perfect for that part I mean this was great uh because golf yeah that one was
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fun that was like yeah that was one that was like when we were out there you were like oh this is going to once you cuz
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it's like anything you read it and then once you get out there and you're like oh they have they have people standing there that are fans of you know the golf
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tournament and then you start seeing everything and you're like oh yeah this is going to look really good and be like
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really funny and escalating it with a turtle day is that the Friday 6:45 Friday was long like it was like I got picked up at 6:45
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and I didn't back to like midnight oh [ __ ] because you got the show yeah I thought Monday's a meeting did they ever
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shoot anything Dan maybe you know on because it's the slowest day for the host is Monday and even Tuesday they're
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just supposed to walk around and with the writers but the writers aren't doing jack [ __ ] till 10 p.m and the read through is kind of a grind for the host
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you're reading so much stuff a lot of it you're not famili hey grad this one was busier than the last time like Monday
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was not bad but then it was I went and ran the monologue Monday and Tuesday and that was really all I could do because
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it was just uh oh you went down so L I went to The Cellar and ran it oh oh you go you can do four sh seller has so many rooms now so you can just go down there and pop on you stand on the roof and do
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five where is this seller because I'm in New York right now where is it oh yeah why don't you go down Dana do your [ __ ] crummy jokes uh McDougall in
00:16:55
third I know I could look it up but there's a Mothership and there are satellite s sellers or is it just one
00:17:00
seller in New York comedy club they're connect there there's the yeah yeah they're around the corner and then so uh
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there's the village underground and then they have like they have three rooms in there the village underground is a great
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room it's big and then the comedy seller which is on uh third I think and then it's uh downstairs and that's the that's the original comedy seller so I mean
00:17:27
there's one two three four for yeah Dan you can go in there and just bpop around and just if you call ahead you can just
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jump in out well I keep thinking this will be more work but I'm really just doing Biden and it's usually like a cameo of silliness and so I was thinking
00:17:41
you know I did do a benefit for Jim Gaffin we a lot of the young people were there marello and on Monday night and
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that was just kind of fun St but so I want so the monologue you no I said Nate turn that down I [ __ ] that up godamn I love I go Daniel will do it
00:18:01
we had James Aus John saw all those guys I saw Nate last week Nate I ran into you
00:18:07
in uh Las Vegas when I was doing that Nikki Glazer Venetian and you were over at the win were you doing a private or were you just uh no no that Vis you're
00:18:19
just visiting right oh yeah because it was uh skankfest and so yeah we I went over there is that what it's called yeah skankfest so I went over there and then
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it's funny cuz we had a whole fun lunch I don't think we ever mentioned SNL I didn't
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remember no you don't you don't care about I care not impressed good Dave is not yeah he's not impressed no I said Alex we have the same manager I go Alex you got to brief me if Nate's doing
00:18:48
something because he wants me to talk about it and I don't he kept going anything else bring it up I go no you
00:18:55
should said hey I'm Saturday yeah yeah well then I was like oh [ __ ] but I have
00:19:01
nothing to say other than you'll do a good job but uh that was fun lunch that was a fun lunch cuz I went back to the
00:19:07
Cabana which was dog [ __ ] it was boiling and I paid for it like what's something anyway I can't even get into it I get too mad about it um but I feel
00:19:18
like you should split it with me because I saw you that day I said you could have
00:19:23
hung out at our pool but you know Nate's I can't say but Nate is dialed in the win he's just dialed in so like well I asked you about all that stuff the you
00:19:34
said you had a host and all that at one point and then is that what what is that the room you play in Vegas Nate the win
00:19:42
or is that just yeah where do you play in Vegas I play at the win so I've been going there now for a few years and so I'll be there a lot in January so I yeah it's it's easy for me there just because
00:19:56
that's the Main's great anyway Ian I'm doing the Venetian and I I used to do the plazo so it's basically the same one
00:20:03
I I I'm not lying when I say I think it's the biggest chunk of hotel in the world because it's two monster hotels
00:20:10
and it's like 40 acres it seems like I mean wherever you go it's 10,000 steps I'm like I'm going to Sushi samb you're
00:20:16
like d getting strong now because you don't even know where you are and you're in a fake outside where you see the sky
00:20:23
and you're like is this fake I can't tell they have cloud seating inside on the fake sky and um that's all no I love
00:20:31
it that's funny yeah getting out of the MGM Grand man that's a tractor pole and they don't want you to is even sicker
00:20:38
and the rooms they give a headliner in these giant hotels it's kind of embarrassing and awkward and a little bit scary you can run laps around them
00:20:45
there's mirrors everywhere I don't know they're just too big [Music] yeah you know when they say uh I get text people hey you know like more like
00:21:04
friends of friends not like direct friends but they go hey you're coming to uh Kansas City so how do we get
00:21:13
tickets Welly how do tickets and can I just buy them off you well so you give me your
00:21:22
visa and then I go buy them and then I rack the little visa thing and then I call I don't know now I said probably
00:21:28
easier if you just what about this like I was playing a casino in oraville California and I I told people in the Bay Area and my sister who I'm really
00:21:40
close with I said just don't come please don't come just don't just don't come I mean
00:21:46
don't worry you're not gonna miss what a horrible person no you're not gonna miss anything it's because are you doing the
00:21:52
same stuff I go well don't come well I didn't say that and there was 40 it was in my hometown basically there were 45 people backstage it was and it was always you know Bill sliow and you
00:22:06
remember Bobby fop and it was I don't know I just want to do the show and go home anyway but that everyone's having more fun than you well let's see yeah
00:22:17
Saturday night I had uh a buddy from high school that text me and he calls me texts me and then uh I was like hey I'm I'm at Saturday Night Live and uh we're
00:22:31
taping he goes all right just call me after and then that was it just like all right no like even
00:22:39
acknowledge you that I'm hosting s all right well just call me after yeah just like just just call me right after all
00:22:46
right yeah I'll be done I'm on SpaceX we're just gonna go one loop around the world okay call me 101 a. he's like dude
00:22:52
I saw you're over call me what's up where you been where have you been because of texting you did you get
00:22:59
reviews at 8:30 sorry at 8 at at during the show because it's on what Live Well it's live on the east coast but I get reviews from the West Coast as while the
00:23:11
show's going because they're watching it live out there at 8:30 yeah you try not to look at your
00:23:17
phone you always end up having like around update and Cold Play you have a moment and you kind of can just see it
00:23:23
you know I had a big day because so I'm a Vanderbilt fan Vanderbilt beat Alabama
00:23:28
college football so it was a it's a as a big Vander fan we they were number one the country it's the biggest win we've
00:23:34
ever had in all of our Sports uh so I mean I got text about that more than sure even you know more than your goofy gig on SNL yeah I mean that it was just all day
00:23:47
was you know then people were just like you better say something on Saturday like the pressure I was getting you
00:23:53
better acknowledge it like just you know and you're we're lucky we got our guy there tonight so you can get the word
00:23:59
out at least wear a t-shirt during the good nights man [ __ ] silence is violence did you have a vanderbar t-shirt on no
00:24:07
no I had uh I wore a jacket that was like the that had the hurricane that's all the states that were getting hit by the hurricane just like a being with them but uh where do they sell that they
00:24:20
don't uh that's my brother first hurricane the first the asille and that whole area all the heat is taken off of that now and that should be talked about for another year yeah it switches right
00:24:35
over to I know it's getting too sad uh but yeah anyway uh Nate uh we'll let you go but what else Nate anything else you want to tell us about yourself that's going well other than your life is all green lights what are you doing now are
00:24:48
you just on tour again is it completely I'm in no we're in we're actually in Florida we're in uh like kind of pan
00:24:54
Panama City Destin but I mean they're not it's where Florida's getting hit as farther down and the fall break so it's
00:25:03
like kids are out of school this week and uh all that the kids yeah yeah yeah one Harper and then our neighbors and friends and like it's so we're just down
00:25:14
here doing that stuff and then uh yeah I won't go back on I'm kind of done I mean
00:25:20
I'll do Vegas in January and you know some clubs to get ready for the tour uh but then next the tour will start uh our
00:25:32
big thing is the Christmas special that we have coming up uh that's doing with Lauren
00:25:38
that producing it and it's a Nate Brat's Christmas special like oldfashioned on NBC and stuff like oldfashioned oh cool it what's on CBS actually CB CBS
00:25:50
really we're all friendly you're working in all quadr all the networks we all get along
00:25:57
that's pretty cool that's a whole other kind of level at least from my generation of having a prime time
00:26:03
Christmas special you know it's kind it's kind of hip you know will you I mean it's like kind of that old school it's probably you know it's a lot like SNL obviously like because it's Mikey and streer writing it with me and oh
00:26:15
really do you have any magic on it we yeah yeah my dad's going to do some stuff on it oh yeah oh that's right that
00:26:22
yeah we we have lot yeah some sketches and we have some musical acts and like we have all stuff kind of planned out
00:26:29
for we're going to shoot it in November uh at the Grand o opery and then it'll air oh how fun mid December
00:26:36
wow and will you sing a Christmas song solo with Carrie Underwood will you sing White Christmas by yourself no no okay I can't imagine I
00:26:49
always don't think I'll sing at SNL then they always talk no I can't sing but they always end up I feel like every
00:26:55
time that's I'm like I don't want to sing and they're like yeah we know you don't want to sing but here's a song that we have
00:27:01
you like all right I guess I'm I guess I'm singing so well anyone can talk sing that's the way to do it I'm dreaming you know what I mean just kind of half Melody but yeah this this time around
00:27:14
was definitely it was uh doing it now you're able to go in and like it's like really talk about the sketches and I think you just kind of you you're a little more I was more
00:27:26
familiar with the writers and everybody and so you kind of uh it's not like you're still taking it all in but it's
00:27:35
it's definitely more it's more welcoming you know obviously the second no substitute
00:27:40
for the second time yeah no substitute yeah it's just because there's so much well the first time there's so many inputs and you're trying to figure out where you are and then oh this is this day I'm doing exactly what I should be
00:27:52
doing right now so then you kind of get a sense of the flow but uh you know a great
00:27:58
I wish they'd frontload Monday so the host could knock something out because like if you could do that golf thing on Monday or Tuesday then you can pce it
00:28:06
because you don't need to be stressed and tired especially the end of the week you're like [ __ ] we haven't gotten to Saturday where you rehearse all day
00:28:12
there's no stops yeah yeah yeah it was uh it's how quick they shoot too which is so great I mean yeah I think I'll be ruined like when you go to do a movie
00:28:24
you go real thing oh yeah that you're like you're like how are we not done like I mean they just grab stuff and just go and it makes it so much better the one we had coach at the the last
00:28:36
sketch we did was this coach Allen and we had to kind of speed it up because we but I mean it's crazy to be looking you're like looking at someone's phone and it's like you know 1256 and you're
00:28:49
like and we're still gonna do this sketch and good night like it's I was surprised I mean you're stand there you're like I don't know how
00:28:59
this is going to work you know and then you're like I guess he's going over I don't know if he's going over or what it
00:29:04
was yeah but I mean yeah we had to kind of speed it up because it was after the Annie Samberg thing but it was
00:29:11
uh it was so it would have been you know fun to have it be slower but man I was like I mean you're standing behind it and it's 1256 or something and you're
00:29:23
like I don't know how and and you still got to do good nights we never had we never had phones all we never saw a
00:29:30
clock by the way Gina who's the stage manager she's the one who does and it's a little bit ADR adrenalizing cast for you you know Washington to the stage to
00:29:40
the stage and during the dress show they announced that a sketch was cut I can't remember pyg me monkey is now cut pyg me
00:29:47
monkey is now cut oh you hear in the hallways it's sad you're dressed like a monkey yeah a pink monkey he got a yeah
00:29:56
he's in he has to slowly wadling out his shoulders go down and then he just turns with the waddle he
00:30:03
keeps the waddle but he just does a big U but shout out SK should be just that just showing someone's sketch get cut peel the hair off the back and makeup
00:30:15
families in the bleachers and then a waddling you wait where's the monkey sketch it's almost one the Pink Monkey he's got a catchphrase already that's what I was
00:30:26
glad we got like that water sketch uh I think they've tried to get on before it didn't work and so like it's fun to get some on that you're like they
00:30:37
they they wanted to get on yeah and they just haven't you know because that's a tough one because you got to be nice I
00:30:43
mean someone's dying in it so someone died in it so well Michael Longfellow wrote it I believe and was it your co-star and I met him backstage he was a little the idea of it was the funniest
00:30:56
idea yeah you know the way you deliver uh you kept that uh well and it was her idea that writing you know that slow build of like we was her idea it just
00:31:09
was H it was a good for you a very smart premise you know like a can it's great yeah yeah they do great yeah okay well let's let Nate go and then we'll we got a whole show we got a whole great show
00:31:22
Nate this is just I don't even know if we'll use this part but uh it was great that you came coming on next to critique
00:31:30
you I give it an a he's going to say the opposite of everything he goes who is [Music]
00:31:45
he welcome back to Super yeah Nate was fun and uh that was a good time it was great to see him him smile you could just tell he's still in
00:31:58
a little bit of a Cool vibe Landing that show the second time you know it's just
00:32:04
you know what's good his energy went from a one to a two which I've never seen shoot up like that yeah but he he
00:32:12
was really relax low energy too I think that's why Nate and I get along we're both kind of low F energy but that's why
00:32:19
I say you're not you're not dancing for your Donuts out there like I am you know I call it dancing for your Donuts not
00:32:25
gonna do it come on I could just quickly say because people have asked me for the headlines like about the Biden impression and as you know I've done it and I figured out what
00:32:39
it is because I'm evolving it on Saturday Night Live I've done clips that went viral as doing Biden the reason I
00:32:46
did it is because he's the president of United States and I wanted to do it respectfully and the main thing was is
00:32:51
to keep it funny you know and so I started to uh extrapolate a character and now it's it's continued on Sat Night Live especially this last one one of course the ice cream comb was not
00:33:04
planned I just had one during I asked the prop Master to give me an ice cream just a hold for the dress show and then
00:33:11
the air show she gave me much bigger and I didn't ask her it was like a triple vanilla and then live I was right kind
00:33:19
of gesturing I thought here's ice cream big Gob here's Maya's face and I didn't want to hurt her but I just be and I thought of it did it within two seconds so that's to put to rest all the rumors
00:33:31
and all the talk yeah everyone's been freaking out about this but you also had a big glob on your on your mouth the
00:33:37
whole time which is fun that I didn't know but I would just say for now where the character is going because it seems like the audience is into the
00:33:44
extrapolation and the character it is basically these are old references but um Mr Meo and Tim Conway had a baby yeah and that's presid
00:33:56
had a baby a hundred years ago and that's President Biden so that's all I wanted to say to you know it's funny well Dana when we do it on the show or
00:34:03
this show whatever it's called podcast and we put the clips out the clips always did well but we got some flak for
00:34:09
it because I guess you know Trump was an impression that they had seen a lot but
00:34:14
no one had really seen a good Biden and some people didn't like just joking about Biden but yeah it turns out it was
00:34:22
it's okay to joke about everyone well because we all sort of saw it slowly here and there and maybe didn't want to
00:34:28
see it and it was a it was a hot oven because of he's he's the president and he's running for reelection against
00:34:34
trump it was much more of that kind of political energy around it now he's passed it and I think it's playful and
00:34:42
fun if he ever wanted to come on the show and do a little soft you know guess what and by the way I I would do it with
00:34:48
him but the main thing is it's making me laugh and I'm definitely doing stuff that he doesn't do he doesn't smash ice
00:34:54
creams into faces you know he doesn't say I can't believe it's butter you know just it's I'm doing what I did to to to
00:35:00
um to the first Bush you know n Go do it that's all right it's a comedy is exaggeration and you get like a a germ of something funny you get a couple mannerisms run with them that's what
00:35:13
everyone does to with Impressions if you can extrapolate it and make it as much a character as it it is an impression and
00:35:21
then you then you can kind of add anything and do anything so well it gets cartoony where it's I mean I don't see
00:35:28
it as offensive I see it as just like just a funny like person now it's a funny funny person because he comes in harmless he's looking at at you know Maya I'm looking at Maya oh you're not
00:35:40
here I I'll come back later you know I mean that's just so ridiculous you know you could do a soft shoe and do a little
00:35:47
song with just the catchphrases yeah just the catch I think that would be kind of funny and then he by the way no
00:35:52
joke no joke no joke guess what by the way let me be clear let me be clear you know it's just yeah and then at the end you go all right I'd like to do a song for you oh did I just
00:36:04
do it yeah there you go yeah anything goes with it now because it's more silly it is like Mr meoo who's wandering around construction sites so anyway there you go all all right let's get to
00:36:15
the unfunny stuff here we go let's get to our headlines man these are yeah headlines popular demand everyone's
00:36:22
freaking out we have things we look at and we just do jokes about them or comments sometimes they're friendly
00:36:28
sometimes they're here we go have you ever heard of a place oh I like this story listen home tomorrow I feel like I
00:36:34
just won't care anymore we went to dinner here tonight in Dallas and I'm not going to say the name of it because the food was exceptional but when we got
00:36:41
the bill normally I don't look at bills I'm just like yep sounds good here's my card I like in my head knew that we only
00:36:47
got like $150 worth of food the food was great so how did we get to $530 let me tell you and I need just wow
00:36:55
I'm doing this because I just need justification like this isting if this is normal Haley and I got Lo Blanco
00:37:01
skinny spicy Margaritas right $14 plus prep $3 but I was like what's prep and he was like oh it's the shaking of the mar 31 31 sh $3 to shake the
00:37:14
margarita wow so our Lo Blanco Margaritas are $17 that's fine right just put $17 don't put prep so then we
00:37:21
go further down for is a Blanco $32 okay great it's fine so $32 Co the prep for that specific one was $13 they charged them to cook it to shake or to shake it
00:37:35
shake a drink yeah then Kasa dronis Blanco three of them don't charge them by the letter $28 her prep was $15 $15 to shake a canister
00:37:49
$22 75 $75 drink $75 drink what pretty bad right yeah I like how she thought we were so talking is that crazy Dana so $3 shaking of Martini
00:38:07
$15 yeah $15 a $75 drink she said that's the drink one of the drinks got up to 75 cuz all the hor [ __ ] well we poured it well we shook it we put ice in it that's
00:38:19
12 bucks I mean she says her point was just say it's 75 bucks but don't say it's 14 and add 28 and had this I was at a restaurant once not even that fancy
00:38:33
and it was at a casino and it was 155 for a piece of fish and they had a $75 but I don't know about the prep thing like oh how much is the pizza $3 but I put it in the oven so that's a $50 fee
00:38:47
for me cooking prepping right that sounds like a not saying a scam she didn't rat out the
00:38:54
restaurant like but I did think is that something going on out there there that kind of threw me like oh boy because I
00:39:00
had a restaurant here in La that was you know there you know you're already going to pay way too much but a
00:39:07
steakhous and the bread and butter was 15 I go can I get some bread yeah they don't tell you it's 15 bread was [ __ ] great though and then steaks do you want
00:39:21
our you know our house A1 whatever you know sure I'll take the butter corn and the aat TOA whatever so it's seven bucks for each steak
00:39:34
sauce there's inflation's here to stay on some level I do get you I do room service which is just at any hotel in Manhattan I'm not staying at the Ritz
00:39:46
but it's it's nice the worst I would say uh a cob salad with fees over fees and I
00:39:54
want a tip a little bit 150 bucks shut the [ __ ] up shut that's what I said to myself when I saw I signed the thing even me I'm like I go that's no because
00:40:06
I was going to say breakfast could probably get to a 100 somehow if you have eggs avocado bacon today they just
00:40:13
said we have no hot food so I just got avocado toast we have no hot why we have no hot food right now there is no hot
00:40:20
food why do you want it I don't know what accent this is so I don't want to get any letters but it's just a general
00:40:25
foreign person accent we have no there's no hot food do you still want to order what do you have that's cold I
00:40:31
called down yeah I call I just want cold food cereal I I called down and I got this I think I probably told you this I'll tell you again and that guy goes I'm kind of
00:40:45
watching TV and I call for breakfast you know pretty nice hotel they usually go this is room service Mr Spade what can we do for you he goes yo and I go like this hello like who am I talking to and
00:40:57
he goes yo what's up I go is this room service he goes yo yeah what you want I go oh uh this is in real time uh maybe scrambled
00:41:11
eggs Slow Down slow down okay I wait I wait and then I go he goes okay go ahead I go bacon hold
00:41:22
up am I throwing curve balls at this guy I'm like these are the two top five answers on the board bacon eggs and I go wait wait then he goes go ahead I go avocado he goes what's that and I go
00:41:34
forget that forget that that's so far the left field I just go that and maybe I think I tried to say croissant it went I skipped it went right to toast and then he takes about five minutes and he
00:41:44
goes I hear then he goes okay so eggs bacon yes three things all right like all right like we'll see we'll see we'll see what happens we'll see you know you ever
00:41:58
order something again this these are just Road stuff you order and they go um okay that will probably be an hour and a
00:42:04
half well why don't need you tell me that I got I got a show in 35 minutes cha i c can I tell you a real story like
00:42:11
it only take 90 seconds yes so I walked to Whole Foods last night I'm tired of Hotel food I get all my stuff I get milk I got I did get a beer and I came back
00:42:23
here and I came up to the room hey didn't work so it's a whole Foods bag groceries in it dark hallway
00:42:30
housekeepers gone no one anywhere I left it by the door thing and I went was back
00:42:36
in three minutes they were fast with a new key the bag was gone no the bag is gone but there's no garbage in it there's it's just a salad kind of a cart of milk and stuff so I called and then I
00:42:49
said I I told the story to the woman on the phone and she goes oh no we I'll call security so no they never called me back and then this woman who I a friend
00:43:00
did who's a maid who I really she I talk to her every day when I want stuff she's really cool she said she's broken
00:43:08
English she goes some new people check in down there minute ago oh she's pinning it on some well she was kind of I couldn't hear if she just meant people were checking in but there's no way she
00:43:20
took it so anyway people are stealing I went back today and I didn't leave it by the door so Happy Ending by the way Jim
00:43:26
Gaffigan is texting me what does he want during this he wants to know if there's we do at the
00:43:33
table read what's today oh it's Wednesday oh well it's whatever day the table read sometimes is on Friday whatever day
00:43:44
we're lying that it is [Music] yeah uh yeah this has been this is a pre-recording yeah well okay by the way feel free to text him during the [ __ ] well I'm just yeah we can cut this is
00:43:57
out uh doing podcast Heather did you need a pen is that what you're looking for I got jeez doing podcast with
00:44:05
Spade I could ask him he coming on soon do you want to zoom on no we'll get him next week I want to
00:44:12
hear about his uh no his walls is hysterical so anyway okay so did down the mystery was
00:44:19
it a bag of new food I would think I would think housekeeping would have taken it because they can't let sit you
00:44:26
know stuff sh sit out there usually if I put stuff leftover stuff out there it sits for a long time but it was in a
00:44:32
Brand New Bag you look down it usually it's like leftover bottles or debris or something but it was all tidy and clean
00:44:39
and there everything was enclosed and um it's a mystery but it's New York City you got to watch your back even I crack that door you know with the thing in it so it goes Gish Gish Gish but I do that
00:44:50
so if I ordered something like it's easier for them to go hey you know whatever yeah or some sometimes I go for
00:44:55
a walk I don't have my key I just walk on the hallway or something they always security comes up hey your door hey your
00:45:01
door's open they knock your door's I go yeah I know so what are we going to do about that I go um well they go we'll close it so you'll be safe I go I don't want it closed I
00:45:12
don't care well all right let me talk to my boss why had security serious security once
00:45:19
because I I was playing Vegas and I just didn't need room I didn't need maid service something go so the Goomba guy
00:45:26
from security say the security ah what are you what are you what are you doing up
00:45:32
there that was the quote what are you doing up there right now what are you doing up there well I've just been I
00:45:37
didn't need maid service I had towels i d you know yeah but what are you what are you do what are you doing up there
00:45:43
man what do you what are you trying to do like it you we don't like it then trying to pull some [ __ ] yeah we like when the bade comes in and checks
00:45:49
it out yeah yeah what are you what are you doing up there man what do you think you're doing yeah what do you think
00:45:55
you're doing what do you think you're doing where where where where'd you come from let me re let me rephrase this what do you think you're doing yeah he says
00:46:02
what do you think you're doing I said I don't know and then he leans in and goes what are you doing where'd you come from
00:46:09
between me and between me and you and I know I had to say this but I just want to tell you we here at the Tropicana
00:46:15
really enjoy you uh enjoying our service and we thank you for using a hotel and now go [ __ ]
00:46:22
yourself we're going to we going to come up there and beat the [ __ ] out of you okay like the Tropic can of all hotels
00:46:28
this is this this is from gaffan we can cut it out I said I'm doing the podcast with Spade please tell him he is gay it was so polite and there's nothing
00:46:43
wrong with that that's just why are we outing me on this show that's a comedian being a comedian right there no that's a
00:46:49
class okay so what's next next story we this is why we don't get through the stories because we take so long but it's funny well we had a nice interview with
00:46:56
oh [Music] oh wait oh look at this watch this kid volume volume man with baby he's he's saying bye-bye to everyone byebye byebye adorable baby
00:47:25
being held by their father at somewhere and doing David Spade routin on an airplane yeah going byebye the little
00:47:32
baby's going bye-bye bye-bye byebye that's yeah a thousand people tagged me in that on Tik Tok so I was like oh he
00:47:39
didn't totally get exactly how we did it you have the tidiest catchphrase of any
00:47:45
comedian bye-bye bye-bye it's the tidiest you've got the tidiest usually it's like I'm a wild and crazy guy we are here to pop you up David's like
00:47:56
bubye bubye Rob Schneider and David Spade mhm after that we had on Burger King when you'd leave it just had a big sticker and said bye-bye I was like
00:48:08
oh I'll take it bye that coat I wore in bye-bye I just saw it my brother Andy who's in fashion he's like why don't you get your coat to fit when you do these sketches that's what he saw mhm he said
00:48:22
your sleeves are too long the jacket's too long you look like a goddamn fool I was like
00:48:28
it's funny though because he was right I look at it he goes why are your coats so long why don't you get anything that fits I'm like Andy I don't want someone
00:48:35
from the Fashion World always looking at me because he looks at it through a different prism I don't you know look
00:48:41
proportionality is a thing I'm not just making this up proportionality a good have proportionality in terms of leg torso shoulders hips and anything looks
00:48:53
good on him now I'm not saying I'm that guy I'm not even get that everything just fits Dan has got
00:49:03
proportionality proportionality is not a bad title yeah yeah I know I like it doesn't everyone doesn't really know what it means but they're like yeah you just go right off the rack and it fits
00:49:17
perfect dude how about David Spade right off the rack that's not right off the rack yeah right off the rock are you gonna do
00:49:29
any cute wraparounds or backstage stuff or you just ladies and gentlemen they don't want that
00:49:35
[ __ ] I mean most people they they literally say these guys didn't but comedians say put your closer around
00:49:45
20 minutes or put a big beefy bit to keep them past 20 because most people bail out by 20 totally agree couldn't
00:49:53
agree more you you're it's like the metaphor is that the audience the if you go down a little bit 100 of
00:49:59
them leave if you're not maybe not strong another 200 leave so the audience is trying to leave when they're watching
00:50:05
on Netflix trying to click away so you have to really keep them past that 16 minute Mark where most people have
00:50:12
already lost 90% of Their audience why not do a 16 minutes any of that into account what this special will be is you'll do it I'll do it and I'll do it in my order that I think is the best
00:50:24
flow and then I'll chop it up and I can flip out the editing and flip them around bits because they don't really
00:50:30
flow certain times when you do them like this is too dirty they're not going to but and then afterwards all they do is
00:50:38
chop it up and put it on Tik Tok and Instagram so it's like bits YouTube you know so here's my bit about getting a
00:50:45
massage here's my bit about going on an airplane whatever the things are and then those are those live in perpetuity
00:50:51
also yeah I mean I think for almost anyone the clips are probably more eyeballs than the actual special but I'm
00:50:57
going to say really doing a special for Clips yeah and then that Stokes up everything I'm just going to say this
00:51:03
with I don't know if it's irony or anything but will this special be special you're like real question I'm GNA get quiet will the special be special and I'm gonna get quiet hey I
00:51:16
got my thumbnail I know oh yeah you guys you got some solid thumbnails dude no thumnail Diaries I
00:51:24
hate looking at us thumbnail oh [ __ ] we're almost done okay let's do another one show me another story we've only
00:51:29
done two I know but this is we're going we're past some people tell us to do three hours like a like Joe Rogan doeses
00:51:37
okay here we go oh this this is speaking of expensive look at this we just spent
00:51:43
$76 on lunch round swamp Farm makes a look like the dollar store but honestly is a big one in LA to start off with their $56 lobster salad is that
00:51:57
is like a prank competition to see who's the most expensive in this economy they're bragging about delicious but by no means is it $56
00:52:08
good the most talked about items they're $22 and their $15 Chipotle mayo to go with unless they importing their Chipotle from Guatemala on a PJ there's no reason this should be $15 private jet
00:52:23
Dana this guy's doing stand po Mayo on the other hand is probably the top three May I've ever have next up they're 4 by way yes chef is cocktail don't have a yes chef
00:52:34
shirt on a hat all the jump Cuts let's just watch for a minute with all those jump cut yeah let me just relax and watch absolutely not worth it that tastes pretty much like any other shrimp I've ever had next up their $30 chicken
00:52:48
Caesar salad the math is just not adding up here $22 chicken tenders and there's like eight of them and a $30 Sal someone
00:52:55
wrote I want your money back the rest is just lettuce what kind all right we can jump out it's adorable that was a quick
00:53:01
jump out it's amazing where the word like like it came from the valley girl character maybe in the 80s I think
00:53:08
whoopy Goldberg did it a lot of comics did it it's like so it's like totally so like it's totally not worth it and it's
00:53:14
like this and that so I counted 13 likes for yes chef I counted 13,000 as Dennis
00:53:21
Miller would say the 80s are calling okay and they want their catch yeah what am I gleo what am I yeah don't even try to make it
00:53:32
sophisticated one am I Vic nlake from the Detroit Lions Circa 1958 you know he does come John Brockington yeah the Packers Jesus Christ so we got a one more a food expense theme going okay one
00:53:47
more there's a theme yeah I was just saying that airwan in La is a big joke because all the influencers go there and
00:53:54
all the models cuz it's so expensive it's it's probably a really good store but it's shockingly in this economy
00:54:00
especially so expensive and everyone has to go there and be seen there to prove they're not poor and then this guy's
00:54:07
like oh I'm in the Hamptons it's even worse and I was like that is worse okay I just had a flash in my head of your title David Spade is
00:54:19
fire what if I'm just didn't fire [Laughter] emoji wait funny a fire Emoji oh yeah just be a symbol like Prince just be a
00:54:30
fire Emoji DAV yeah David Heather has one Heather's yelling one in I want to give a final after I hear your whole set okay but since I know it'll be a little
00:54:41
bit about problems in your everyday life yeah di my diary cuz you say that a lot write it in your diary oh I go when people go when
00:54:56
we go out the first time I said I don't know check your diary why don't you just do a straight up I don't get I don't get
00:55:02
I tell you I don't get no respect just take Rodney's thing no the kids won't remember no the best one for me would be
00:55:09
get [ __ ] that's what I say the most with different like letters hey tune it in David Spade get [ __ ] tonight at eight it is like that so I went to a
00:55:20
movie and that's like 12 minutes of you getting [ __ ] over by people and bad directions the movie me complain
00:55:27
Coca-Cola on your head yeah I don't mean to complain but dot dot dot yeah I was trying to think is there a theme for all my jokes but I don't know if there is we'll talk about it again when it comes out so we'll we'll revisit but uh you
00:55:40
want to do one more before we go let's see one more just to tidy it up just to clean it up then you can tell Gaff again
00:55:46
okay oh this is this is our cute one this is the German coast c we thinking we're thinking what's are youing about stupid so it was doggy with
00:56:02
a bunch of ducks on them it was an inflatable raft with a dog on it then all these ducks are also on it and it's
00:56:07
kind of halfway submerged they're all looking around and then the guy is doing like a German accent we all sinking a
00:56:13
voice over going we're sinking we're sinking obviously because it looks like the boat's sinking and the dog's head
00:56:19
it's going under water but he doesn't want to disrupt these cute ducks on him yeah and then they add an extra joke go
00:56:25
what are you think about what are you thinking sounds like you're saying thinking you're thinkinking and thinking
00:56:31
at the same time aren't you Little Rascals on a inflatable device you you little it's not World War
00:56:38
II you little upstarts you're like you two generals a periscope I'm I'm also stinking try to swim if you can yeah let's end on that 10 out of 10 joke yeah
00:56:57
that was great all right well this is a this was an action-packed episode I'm going to say hopefully you're cooking
00:57:03
dinner jogging with headset on at the gym or driving while you listen to this and you're don't feel burned right and we will um also uh we
00:57:15
thank Nate for coming on and watch Dana this weekend probably doing something again on SNL I will be on SNL tomorrow
00:57:23
night doing Mr M had a baby with Conway we'll see what's going to happen maybe there'll be some ice cream flying around I don't know I'm not going to give nothing away all right love it and uh we'll see
00:57:36
you you know what you should say about your ice cream what Maya goes can I have a bite and you
00:57:41
go this is she goes this is mashed potatoes you go oh that guy ripped me off I want so potatoes you've been eating mashed potatoes all the time look like gross
00:57:57
it did taste a little flat yeah that's yeah I like that mhm all right bye Dana good to see you bye this has been a presentation of
00:58:10
Odyssey Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna we sperman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and
00:58:17
Greg Holtzman hope you liked it [Music]