00:00:00
Well, he's taking his shoes off and what are you doing? You're just kind of standing there and what's your and
00:00:04
what's your motivation in the scene >> too >> to not get laid. >> So, you never worked with props. Did you
00:00:12
go through any incarnation where you dressed in something different or you were always Theo right up like
00:00:18
>> I mean I've been a recovering drug addict most of my life. So, that is the prop that never leaves your
00:00:23
>> It's always goable. >> That's that monkey on your back. If that's not a prop.
00:00:28
>> I mean, David's the best to be around. Every everybody loves him. He's the funniest. Everybody says he's the
00:00:32
funniest. >> Mhm. >> So, how does that when you hear that, Dana? How does that make you feel? Sorry
00:00:37
to spin this back on you. >> Oh, holy [ __ ] >> What's up, guys? What? >> I like your shot. See, why are we all
00:00:48
tight up here? >> I know we look like dog [ __ ] I don't >> I'm on the bad side of 50.
00:00:53
>> I thought y'all looked better. I thought y'all were going to look worse, honestly.
00:00:56
>> Yeah. >> Oh, we got tools. We have tools. >> I knew you'd wear a baseball cap. That's
00:01:03
why I did this. >> Oh, thanks, man. >> But your hair is crazy in this movie. Your hair is wildly
00:01:12
>> awesome in Bus Boys. >> Yeah. I mean, it's pretty l I mean, it's definitely >> we cut it.
00:01:19
>> Crazy. >> Well, didn't they put a lot of product in? I mean, it looks like extra extra I
00:01:24
mean, nothing like urban. Nothing that would get me accepted in like, you know, in the urban community.
00:01:29
>> B see you. >> Yeah. Nothing that would get me into Oh, I I thought he said herb like in peppers
00:01:36
or something. >> No. Nothing like >> the funnier way. >> Theo has Theo has the hair for about six
00:01:44
people. It's like sprout. There's a sprout over here and there's crops over here. It's just there's so much going.
00:01:49
But in the movie, I remember he came out with one day with like a little stash and he's like, "Maybe we what if I had a
00:01:54
little stash?" And I go, "Yeah, that wouldn't be bad because it still looks like you and we don't want to shock
00:01:59
people with a total Dairo transformation." But then he came out a minute later, he goes, "Yeah, I took it
00:02:04
off." I'm like, "Okay, >> this would have been good for Theo." I I wrote a character once in a movie that
00:02:10
shaved his or took his eyebrow off and then put it down and pretended and glued it and pretended it was mustache.
00:02:18
>> Oh, yeah. Well, we've all I think that's a common prison experience is people
00:02:24
uh you know transferring hair amongst each other for you for for different uses. But I was on a cruise one time and
00:02:32
they had like a costume party and we didn't have any um we needed a mustache and we didn't have any.
00:02:39
>> So this Brazilian guy had a bunch of good hair and so he cut us off probably a couple grams of hair.
00:02:44
>> Yeah. >> And uh we baggy. >> Yeah. Just Yeah. just something to get us through the evening, you know,
00:02:49
>> just under the legal amount. >> I thought that would be a conversation stopper. That was common. No way.
00:02:57
>> Theo comes up. Well, of course we had mustaches glued to us on a boat. What are you talking about?
00:03:01
>> Yeah, there's a guy had a a a mustache in the movie and when we we walk out of
00:03:06
frame, Theo goes, I like he's got those prison curtains or something. And I was like, Theo always comes up with
00:03:12
something to say. >> Prison curtain. And Dana was saying one of the big laughs cuz you know when Nate
00:03:18
Diaz beats up the car, we're not going to talk about the movie the whole time, but when Nate Diaz beats up the car,
00:03:23
Nate and Chris, and we're just standing there, we have nothing to say other than
00:03:26
just watch the action. Then Theo goes, "Hey fellas, we're going to get some pizzas. Medium pizza."
00:03:33
>> Yeah, that made me laugh out loud. The whole thing >> because it's so I don't something about
00:03:38
it. It's so specific and gentle versus all their weird violence and just why would they need that information?
00:03:45
>> So Theo's whole thing why >> questions it gets funnier like >> well those guys were those guys were
00:03:51
alarming I think and they just >> alarming is a good sedative word for what they were on on the
00:03:57
>> do they scare you for reals a little bit cuz don't they just punch people? >> Look I think they grew up in an
00:04:02
asbestous home maybe even uh >> lead. Yeah, heavy lead. Probably pencils everywhere. Unlimited. There's probably
00:04:09
boxes of pencils in the walls, >> different kinds of fungus in the in the freezer,
00:04:14
>> fungi, >> weevils, mold. Who knows what's what they've been through. >> Yeah, they've been through a lot. But
00:04:19
when they came to the set, Theo did get a little giddy. It was like they're here. So, we went over there to make
00:04:23
them feel at home like we do with everybody. We come say hi. And then that was the day they beat up someone and
00:04:29
threw them in the trunk. I don't know if they know they're not supposed to actually beat someone up. So, we have to
00:04:35
say pretend beat up, which is not really what they do. And where are they from? Stockton. Is that what it's
00:04:40
>> Yeah, they're from Stockton. And this is a It is a fist first community up there.
00:04:45
I believe >> that's what the license plate says. Fist first in this town. >> So, is San Francisco shockingly
00:04:56
I was in Hate Ashberry. We were flowers first. Sorry. >> Yeah. You were on Pulk Street.
00:05:02
>> No. Yeah. Where were you down there? Were you down there? What were you doing down
00:05:06
there? Canoodling down there under the bridge or whatever. >> Laundry mat turned into a comedy club
00:05:12
called The Other Cafe. Corner of Carl and Cole right in the hate Ashberry. >> That was
00:05:18
>> Okay, I'm going to tell you a story, Dana, and Theo, you can listen. >> Okay, you have 20 seconds. Um, when I
00:05:23
was just a tyke and I came out from Arizona to stay at my mom's house and try to do standup, I I had seen a comic
00:05:33
in Arizona, the first one I saw do an hour, don't guess. And he was great. And I was like, is he making this [ __ ] up?
00:05:39
It's like comedy is so I was only doing amateur nights, but I'm like, this is so
00:05:43
crazy to see a guy do a whole hour. I'd only seen guys on late night talk shows do five. So anyway, he talks to me. My
00:05:49
friend knows him. He says, "If you're ever in LA, say hi." Of course, I thirstily hit him up, which is like the
00:05:54
worst thing you can do because they don't really mean it. >> But he's like, "Hey, let's go walk
00:05:58
around Westwood. I drove my mom's rabbit." You know, we had a pretty cool car. And so anyway, we're there and he
00:06:05
goes, "We should go see The Wrath of Khan." This is such a specific story I remember cuz it was traumatizing.
00:06:11
>> Should we guess who the comedian is? >> No, I want to guess. You both know. You
00:06:15
both know. >> Okay, you'll figure it out. So then I go, "Oh, we're we're in uh Westwood. I
00:06:21
got to run home. It's about half hour. I think I can make the movie. I got to take a shower." He goes, "You can take
00:06:27
one here." Now, what gentleman says to a new friend, "You can take one here." But of
00:06:35
course, me? >> Probably Kevin Spacy. I'm going to guess. I already put a guess. >> Don't jump ahead. Innocent, sweet,
00:06:41
adorable me. Uh, it's like Tim Dylan in the movie because we don't understand what's going on. So anyway, here I am.
00:06:49
He goes, "Take a shower at my house." I go, "Oh, no alarms went off. No red flags." Okay.
00:06:54
So I go in the shower. I hear [ __ ] door open. I'm like this. It's like, "Uh, did you get the per plus? Are you
00:07:05
finding everything? Am I finding everything? I found the water coming down. I found the soap."
00:07:12
He goes, "Need any help?" I go, "Help. Help what, sir? I've taken so many showers at this point. I've almost got
00:07:19
it down pat." And he just stays in the bathroom. The bathroom's this big. And the curtains here. He's on the other
00:07:26
side going, "So all systems go. All we're doing great. We're going to make the movie." I'm like, "I can hear you
00:07:32
from outside the door." >> And then, but of course, no alarms. Looking back, traumatized because then I
00:07:39
finished and he lost interest in the movie. So he's like, "We can still go if you want." I'm like, "Was that was the
00:07:44
whole point, right?" And he goes, "No, the shower was." So, um, >> so he was Native American.
00:07:50
>> I don't know. I'm going slow motion like they do on Instagram. It's funny. Uh, so
00:07:56
we go to Wrath of Khan, which is [ __ ] I won't I don't want to give it all away, but
00:08:00
>> Oh, I like that. Ricardo Maltabon, >> are you closet at the end of this story?
00:08:04
What is this? What I'm here What I'm thinking is um ladies and gentlemen, the molestable David Spade.
00:08:13
>> We did a movie called The Molestables. >> I had two situations like that. So, I've
00:08:19
got a couple of those. >> This is how it happens. This is how >> No, it just kind of shocked me. It was
00:08:24
just a comedian friend at my apartment, whatever. Yeah, see you later. Just >> And then I take a shower. He's gone, you
00:08:31
know, and then and suddenly he's in the bathroom. Hey, what's up? I mean, same kind of story. I'm like, what? And then
00:08:39
another one, I was in an apartment and this guy got the wrong idea. He was a script supervisor on a show I was doing.
00:08:46
He knocked on the door. >> He walks He's supposed to deliver a script. He walks right past me. There's
00:08:52
a loft. He sits down on the bed, stops starts taking his shoes off >> just like that. And I had to kind of go,
00:08:59
I think you got the wrong idea. I mean, what would you have said in that situation, Theo? I I was I was tongue
00:09:05
tied. >> Well, he's taking his shoes off and what are you doing? You're just kind of
00:09:09
standing there and what's your and what's your motivation in the scene >> to get to gently explain to him feeling
00:09:17
mostly empathetic of like you got this all wrong. I mean, he turned bright red. He was humiliated.
00:09:23
>> He's still at the door. You're still like >> No, I mean, I had my shoes off, too. We
00:09:27
sat it doesn't matter. No, but it was I felt bad for him instantly. It was leading the guy on a little bit to be
00:09:35
honest. >> It's hard to get someone out of a bean bag chair to be honest. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:09:39
>> You got to pull them. They got to roll off. >> I was clickbait then. I had blonde
00:09:44
bangs. I look like a child. >> Clickbait. >> I was so hot. I got kidnapped almost
00:09:51
when I was in a mall when I was a kid cuz I >> No way. >> I had a blonde long hair. I was about
00:09:57
10. Honestly, it was almost enttrapment. I was so [ __ ] cute. I look like early
00:10:02
Home Alone McCaulay Caul like the first one >> and uh I was just like trala and this
00:10:07
guy. I'll tell you later, Theo. But this was >> Yeah, let's stay with this theme.
00:10:11
>> No, but we're doing good here. But imagine >> But we're doing good here. >> Imagine
00:10:15
>> Let's stay with this theme. Go ahead. >> Imagine some pedophile picking up one of
00:10:20
you chatty Cathy's, dude. They would have >> They'd have been like, "I gotta get
00:10:26
They'd have dropped you back at the mall." >> Yeah. We're in the van and he's like,
00:10:30
"Is this story almost over? We got to stop." I'm like, "Keep going around the mall, dude. I got more to say." He's
00:10:34
like, "Oh boy, >> this is one long run-on sentence." >> Yeah. There's just no there's no perfect
00:10:42
way to get sexually assaulted, I guess, is something to say, you know, and that >> I think we can all agree. Let's look at
00:10:49
a clip. >> All right. >> No. Um, >> you think you guys would have made it in the Epstein files or not? Let's get real
00:10:54
about it. Let's get political. >> Let's get political. Theo's whole Theo's whole thing is let's tiptoe into
00:11:00
politics and then run away and go what? What? It's like the water touched him. He goes,
00:11:07
>> "Oh, bying everything in there, >> God, you're walking him. You're walking the crowd."
00:11:13
>> Dana, come back. >> Oh, he just went to the bathroom. >> By the way, >> when I first saw Theo, Dana
00:11:19
>> Oh, there's Epste. He's got a little puppet. >> Witness protection. >> That's not Epstein. That's a
00:11:24
>> I'm not Jeffrey Epstein. I Uh, this is crazy. >> Yeah. >> So, that's it. >> So, I wanted to use the puppet. We'll
00:11:32
see. >> Let the end know what's going on. His show has no [ __ ] puppets. It's flatlining.
00:11:37
>> I love that. I love the puppet idea. The You know what? You know what? I will say
00:11:41
this. When I first started doing comedy, you'd find more men with puppets and with um
00:11:46
>> Yeah. >> You know, onstage animeia with uh you'd find more men doing a guitar act. A lot
00:11:52
of that has disappeared. >> That's true. A lot of uh song parodies. I used to love
00:11:58
>> I had a I had a trunk because Rob Whims had a trunk. I had a trunk. I'd go to a
00:12:03
toy store and get things. I had a Gumby doll and I would just hold it up and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, Gumby." And
00:12:10
then I would just stretch it and go a huge laugh. >> I see it. That's like a Stretch
00:12:17
Armstrong Gumby. >> So, you never worked with props. Did you go through any incarnation where you
00:12:22
dressed in something different or you were always Theo right up like that? >> I mean, I've been a recovering drug
00:12:28
addict most of my life. So, that is the prop that never leaves your >> It's always go toable.
00:12:33
>> That's that monkey on your back. If that's not a prop, >> you know, like here's Theo's first
00:12:40
standup set. Hi. Uh, when I was in third grade, my teacher was an ocelot. Everyone's like, "How many people were
00:12:48
at this tiny town, Covington?" >> Well, here's I will say this crazy story is that um David shot Joe Dirt, too, in
00:12:56
the town that I grew up in. >> That's right. >> And I went, >> did you go watch the movie getting made?
00:13:00
Were you just a little kid then or something? >> I saw the first the first one. I
00:13:05
remember seeing the first one and I didn't know that whatever I'd watched it on, we watched it on the intercom. We
00:13:10
didn't have regular audio at the house. >> Sure. >> And so we had to we watched it we had to
00:13:14
listen to an inter >> Wait a minute. The sound for the TV came over an intercom.
00:13:20
>> Yeah, cuz we lived in part of an old school. >> Yeah, we hearing. Okay. So, go ahead.
00:13:25
>> Well, it was just the way it was set up. Look, I just live there. >> Yeah. >> All right. You guys want to judge a
00:13:30
child? You guys want to judge a a child? >> But, uh, >> it sounds like heaven compared to my
00:13:35
childhood, but it's not a competition. Go ahead. >> Okay. Go ahead. But anyway, yeah, it's
00:13:40
not a competition. But anyway, so it was hard to tell and everything kind of sounded like a documentary. I remember
00:13:45
the first time I saw uh Jo, I thought it was a documentary. I thought this young
00:13:49
man had been left at the um >> it was like a date almost like a dine episode or something that was really
00:13:54
long and it was like this young man had been left at the Grand Canyon by his family.
00:13:59
>> Yeah. >> And so we were always looking for David when I was a kid. Like we were like
00:14:02
>> that's nice trying to help out. >> Yeah. Like have we has anybody seen him or whatever? We would draw pictures of
00:14:06
him around town like look for him or whatever. And uh but anyway, yeah, so when I f so years later I learned it was
00:14:13
an actual film and that David was an actor. He let me down before I even met him.
00:14:18
>> Yeah. >> Um cuz yeah, I was always one in the missing child spade, you know, the one
00:14:22
that was just the chatty Kathy. >> Definitely more interesting. >> The chatty Kathy.
00:14:27
>> Chatty Kathy is a funny phrase. But anyway, so but anyway, it was just ironic that years later he shot that in
00:14:35
the town that I'm from and then um years later that we that we became friends and
00:14:39
that we wrote uh Buzz Boys together. >> You know, when I heard about Theo because they just said this guy is a
00:14:46
mullet and that's that's enough to get me in the building. And I think I talked to Theo with Adam Eaggan and some other
00:14:52
people in the hallway at the Comedy Store for definitely a long time before I saw Zach. I already was in on his sort
00:15:00
of uh unique unicorn type of humor, which you don't see a lot. You know, you see a lot of funny people, but you don't
00:15:06
see like an interesting more one-of-a-kind thing. And then I was laughing anyway and then by the time I
00:15:13
saw his act, I saw you one time at that COVID in the round Saratella show. What is that called?
00:15:20
>> Oh, yes. Supernova. >> That place was crazy. And they're like, "We're going to pay you like $2,000.
00:15:25
We'll have to pay you at midnight. We're gonna pay you. >> It won't be money. >> Yeah. It was a n like a Nigerian guy
00:15:31
will email you. You're like this is >> Yeah. We're gonna pay you in peacons which are going up during co
00:15:37
>> uh and then Yeah. >> Wait, let me tell you one of his jokes. >> Good. Dana, let him do his story.
00:15:42
>> I know. I like to interrupt. >> Yeah. Never mind. Then do it. If I get to five, I win something. It's a It's a
00:15:48
poly market thing. Go ahead. I think Dana, I was just saying like early on one of the I think he's Nicaraguan. So
00:15:55
he says, "Where are my knickers at?" That was funny. And then I think you said something about if you were ever
00:16:02
reincarnate. You go, "I heard about I was talking to someone about reincarnation the other day and you know
00:16:06
what? I think I'm going to do it." That was like funny that it was going to be your decision and then things you would
00:16:12
come back as. What race? He asked somebody, "What race?" >> Yeah. >> Would you come back? Mexican is what I
00:16:18
would have landed on after much >> landed on >> after much debate and discussion with my
00:16:24
Lord and Savior. I have if if Mexicans will have me, that's what I'm going to be next time.
00:16:29
>> Yeah, I think it's a good move that 52 nation. >> Yeah, dude. That's who they are, bro.
00:16:34
The 52 nation. Dude, you get to be the same height as your girlfriend. That's the beautiful thing about being Mexican.
00:16:39
>> Oh, it's a big advantage, >> dude. Heather is laughing at every single one of your jokes if you
00:16:43
>> I know. It's great. This is the This is the >> killing. This is the hardest. Heather,
00:16:46
>> usually 20 minutes go by before we hear a giggle, but this is >> I look at Heather and she's like this.
00:16:51
>> She's used to all of our stuff. >> Yeah, she's like this. >> Uh, no, he did that. And then even in
00:17:00
Bus Boys were writing and putting together the stupid movie. But that's number four on Amazon. And then um but
00:17:08
also when there's some jokes in there that people were like, "Did Theo just make that up?" I'm like, some he did,
00:17:13
but some he makes up while we're writing it and they sound like they're just made
00:17:19
up. When Leah Mckendendrick, who plays Romina, who actually I don't know if you know this, Theo, she just wrote and
00:17:25
directed a a romcom on Netflix. >> Did you really? >> Yeah. Voicemails for Isabelle. It's
00:17:31
number one right now on Netflix. Did you know that? I didn't know. She was great
00:17:34
in the movie, but she we're introducing ourselves and she says, "I'm a Sagittarius, blah blah blah." And then
00:17:39
Theo goes, "We're two adult males." And >> yeah, >> see, so anytime it's like that, you
00:17:45
know, it's a Theo joke cuz I wouldn't have written that joke for him. I would He just says something different on
00:17:51
almost every take and then you have to say, "Which one should we use?" You know?
00:17:55
>> Well, David has David has all the jokes in him, right? So, you have to trick him. You have to do something. He's
00:18:00
like, "Oh, I couldn't I wouldn't have done that." Right? I think that's like a lot of ways with most comics. They you
00:18:05
have to find something that they like. I don't know. That's how comics get impressed. Like, oh, I that wouldn't
00:18:12
have like >> Oh, he tricked me. Yes. Because I would have written something maybe more
00:18:16
normal, but that's the beauty of like there's some stuff that's more my humor and and the combo is more fun cuz Theo
00:18:24
is one of the funniest guys I know. So, >> so funny. And so, when he puts those things in there, we just all laugh when
00:18:32
we cut because you don't know what's coming out. And that's what people, I think, wanted to see from him. And
00:18:40
that's the hard that's hard, but he does a great job with that. >> Well, that's nice of you. Yeah. Um I
00:18:46
don't believe I I believe you believe what you're saying. >> Yeah. >> I don't believe the nice
00:18:51
>> It's a lie, but I do sort of believe it. >> Look, look, kid, we got to get you back
00:18:55
to the mall, man. This is getting >> dude, there I am in the mall and that's your happy place.
00:19:02
>> Yeah. My mom would drop us off, you know, in those days. She dropped us off at 10:00 a.m., pick us up at 600. I
00:19:08
mean, a good eight hour chunk. She gave me a quarter in case everything went sideways, but but no one blinked. There
00:19:15
was no moms on Facebook going, "Bye, I saw Judy Spade dropping." No, no one gave me fat [ __ ] And they were like,
00:19:21
"What a great idea. Get rid of these [ __ ] kids." >> Yeah. >> The mall was so fun. I wound up in the
00:19:26
card store and for some Then my mom came in a few hours later. I don't know she's
00:19:31
in there. And this guy who's like 50, which is not old now. It's not old to then to when I'm 10, it's old.
00:19:39
>> And not my type at all. He comes up and he goes, "Hey, are you Hey, do you want
00:19:44
to go uh do you want an ice ice cream cone?" And I go and I go, "Could it be a snow cone?"
00:19:54
First of all, I'm like, "No, no, ice cream. Ice." Like, why am I bartering? It's the It's like winning the lottery.
00:19:58
Of course, I won it. There's no red flags. There's no tingling. So I go, "Of course." And I go, "Could it be a snow
00:20:05
cone?" And he goes, "Uh, okay. What are you waiting for, sir? There I'm going to be chained to a
00:20:11
radiator in five minutes. There's no ice cream or snow cone. What do you care?" Then the second he
00:20:16
>> It's hard to eat ice cream by a radiator, too. >> Yeah. And it's all hot. It's melting.
00:20:20
>> Fast. >> I'm like, "Dude, you waited a hair too long." Cuz then my mom says, "Hey." And
00:20:26
I go, "Oh, there's my mom real quick. I should get my windbreaker." And he goes,
00:20:29
"No, no, no." And I go, "Hey, mom. I'm gonna buzz by this guy with his van. We're going to grab." And she's like,
00:20:34
"No, you're not." And I go, "Hey, dude. Mom says no. Go." He's like, like, we had a deal. But I didn't know how
00:20:41
traumatizing it was for him cuz he had me on the hook. And then uh >> I was like, "Oh." And I'm just bummed I
00:20:47
didn't get a snow cone out of the whole deal. >> Yeah, dude. Well, you hate to lose a
00:20:51
good kid that you don't know that well. That's got to be tough for that guy. >> Yeah. Yeah. And you're just he could
00:20:55
have been innocent, >> but it's got to be a lot for those guys to drive all the way over to the mall.
00:21:00
You know what I'm saying? Clean out their van first. Probably some of them. I mean, the decent ones.
00:21:04
>> Just the gas. >> Yeah, the gas alone of being cuz then they got you going to drive you a
00:21:09
hundred miles at least after. >> Oh yeah. We got to drive in circles while I yap a [ __ ] blabalanche.
00:21:16
>> So what happened like the next weekend at the mall with you? I mean, was there
00:21:19
more? >> No, I don't know either. I wasn't as hot. I don't know, but I wasn't getting
00:21:25
the attention I deserved. >> Yeah. >> Oh, I got a funny story about Theo. So, we're at this Netflix brunch a couple
00:21:32
weeks ago at Ted's house. >> Oh, yeah. Dude, it was crazy. All of like the people you ever even have seen
00:21:39
that made you laugh were there. >> Everybody from comedy was there. It was, you know,
00:21:43
>> standing around, dude. >> And Dana was invited, just so the record knows. Ted even hit me up twice said,
00:21:49
"Bring Dana. Bring Dana." And I said, "If you were actually maybe going to be in town, Dan, then you you you
00:21:54
>> No, I I've weirdly injured my back cuz I was traveling so much and all the suitcase stuff, a rolling suitcase on
00:22:01
carpet for a half mile." >> So then I found out about this guy who could just do all that in Malibu. So
00:22:07
that's why I wasn't there. I would have been there. Would have dominated. >> Oh yeah, he would have. So, here's me
00:22:15
and Theodore and then uh and uh Bobby Lee and then we see Kate Hudson. And so, >> oh yeah,
00:22:22
>> she says, "I've seen that guy on something." And I said, "Yeah." I go I go, "You should meet him. He's really
00:22:27
nice." So, I say, "Theo, you want to say hi?" And here's where Theo cracks me up
00:22:31
again. He comes over. He's kind of got his arms straight and stiff. Total weirdo. And then she goes, "Oh, hi,
00:22:37
blah, blah." And then he's like, "Where are you from? Covington, blah, blah, talk." And then we're under this tent
00:22:43
where it's only like 70, but outside of the tent, he's standing in the sun and it's about 90, right? And she goes, "You
00:22:50
look hot. You have long sleeve black shirt on." He goes, "Yeah." And she goes, "It's colder under the tent." He
00:22:55
goes, "Yeah, I know, but but there's no signs. There's no signs to tell you it's colder
00:23:03
under the tent." >> Oh, yeah. Well, that's a problem. >> That's why I prefer graffiti. I prefer
00:23:08
areas with graffiti because you get more information. And that's why I like living in those neighborhoods.
00:23:15
>> But dude, that was cool, bro. Meeting Kate Hudson, dude. >> Yeah. >> Oh my god.
00:23:20
>> Yeah, Theo is the bell of the ball. We go around and all these cute girls like,
00:23:25
"Is Theo coming?" I'm like, "Who cares about Theo?" >> Yeah, he's in the bathroom right now
00:23:29
touching himself. Give him a couple minutes. >> Yeah, give him a second. By the way,
00:23:33
before he gets here, he likes dudes. >> I don't like dudes. But >> I saw you singing with Ella Langley
00:23:40
who's this really pretty country star Dana. He was a stage coach and uh >> and she invited him up and he he jumped
00:23:49
around a little fruity at parts but overall he was with a girl so it was sort of cloaked a bit and uh that was
00:23:56
good and it was viral because everyone's like where's the he said stage coach I heard I go look at this guy the boy can
00:24:04
get around. So what happened there? How did that happen? >> They She just um Well, she and I are
00:24:10
friends and so then well, she'd invited me to do her like the part in the song is a man's part.
00:24:17
>> Okay. >> So, you got to get a man. And then they uh she'd offered it to me a couple weeks
00:24:23
earlier at some other place at um the Ryman here in Nashville. >> Yeah. >> And I wasn't ready. I didn't I didn't
00:24:30
hadn't practiced my lines. So then, um, anyway, this story is bad, but I saw her, uh,
00:24:37
>> we're in a commercial right now. >> Okay. I saw her not long after that and she
00:24:43
goes, "Well, if you're I wish you can be a stage coach next weekend because I'd have you read the lines over there." And
00:24:46
I said, "Well, I'm going to be over there." And so that was that. >> And so then, yeah, they just
00:24:52
>> Yeah, it was it was it was cool out there, dude. I'd never been a singer cuz I'm not a singer.
00:24:58
>> Yeah. >> Could you see it? cuz I I'm I'm I'm in a other age group. But did Could you give
00:25:03
us a sample of the song? >> Could you give us just about three or four minutes? >> Three or four? Well, just like one line
00:25:10
like what was it like I love you baby or what? >> No, it's uh let me think. Oh, it's like
00:25:16
um Well, I walked into a bar and across the uh right across the tracks um or it's like I walked into a
00:25:24
methadone clinic and right across the tracks it was No, hold on. Let me think. That Sh. I just turned my chair around.
00:25:31
>> Okay. Oh, damn. >> No, that means I like you. >> No, I'm liking this. >> Yeah, I like it.
00:25:35
>> This is I've never heard Theo sing this. That's And that's what we don't want to
00:25:39
get to here. That's what I'm avoiding. Okay. >> Well, Theo, didn't you talk a little and
00:25:44
then you sing? Is that how it is? >> Yes. You have to talk. It's like, you know, I walked into a bar and the
00:25:48
prettiest little thing I'd ever even seen in a pair of boots >> and she and she looked at me and uh
00:25:55
>> I looked at her. >> Yeah, something like that. I can't remember. Guess ahead.
00:26:00
>> I don't know the lines, right? >> It's like Johnny Cash. It's basically Johnny Cash.
00:26:04
>> Yeah, very much. It's Johnny. Yeah, some Johnny some currency. >> Um I don't know if it's a US dollar.
00:26:11
>> Johnny Pesos. It was a guy from Latin America. He did a good job. People loved
00:26:16
it. And >> um I went viral. Yeah. >> I will tell you a funny story about it though. My friend wrote the cards. He
00:26:24
wrote all the words down on the cards. Right. So he's standing right off stage with the words because we've been we've
00:26:30
been practicing, you know, cuz you up there with Ella Langley, man, and she knows what she's doing. She's
00:26:34
professional. >> Yeah. >> You know, and I'm amateur. And so my buddy, we had him write all the work. We
00:26:40
wrote all the lyrics on the cards. So he's standing off stage with all the lyrics.
00:26:44
>> Well, he starts getting mad, but when I got up there, I felt good and I felt some confidence.
00:26:50
>> So he's standing off stage and he starts shaking the cards like, "Bro, look at
00:26:53
the cards." And I'm like I'm trying to give him like I don't need the cards, you know? But he got upset that I didn't
00:26:58
like wasn't he kept like like shaking. >> Yeah. >> It's like dude, I'm not looking at the
00:27:03
cards cuz I don't need the cards. You're second Yeah. You're second. It's you're
00:27:07
you're a backup. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're there in case of emergency. >> Yeah. In case of emergency,
00:27:12
>> but it is scary. It's better. It's like SNL. You know, you have cards if you need them and uh it got
00:27:19
>> But you don't want to have to go to them. Did you guys ever get stuck in a spot where you had to go to the cards or
00:27:23
was that pretty common? >> I think we're always on cards to be honest. >> Well, you go to the cards a lot. I once
00:27:29
time I was playing Keith Richards and I took such a long pause, but I did it for
00:27:34
comedic effect, but the card guy was doing what your guy did. He's shaking it like and pointing at him. Come on. He
00:27:41
thought I spaced out, you know. >> Yeah. >> But yeah, we got to get you hosting SNL.
00:27:46
I can't wait. >> I bet they've asked you. What' you say now? I don't remember. >> Yes, Theo. I guess it was no because you
00:27:53
didn't do it, but >> I don't remember what happened exactly. >> Yeah, >> but I did get to go over there one
00:27:58
night. I got to go to y'all's 50th anniversary of the 50th >> That's right. >> of the show and David was there. And um
00:28:07
who else was there? Bill Murray was there. Were you there, Dana? >> No. I kind of felt like you were my
00:28:12
surrogate when I heard you were going. I figured Theo's my guy. He's represents me that night.
00:28:17
>> You took your spot. No, I wasn't there. Dan Akroyd, Bill her and I watched it
00:28:22
together. >> It's weird. Why would y'all just go there instead? >> No, I was >> Don't dig too deep.
00:28:29
>> Okay. Sorry. >> I was getting over I I was still not feeling 100%. I had the flu. Wicked flu.
00:28:35
>> That's the real story. Not very exciting. But how um where are you in your fame ladder right now? Like seems
00:28:43
like when I first you were on David's show, like how big were you when you first went on Lights Out? Like where
00:28:49
were you? Like was that a big deal to go on David's little show? I mean, did anyone ever see it?
00:28:55
>> It was fun. I don't know if anybody saw that show. I think some people did. >> No, I'm kidding. I love the show, by the
00:29:00
way. >> Yeah, I thought the show was good for sure. I mean, David's the best to be
00:29:05
around. Every everybody loves him. He's the funniest. Everybody says he's the funniest.
00:29:08
>> Mhm. >> So, how does that when you hear that, Dana? How does that make you feel? Sorry
00:29:12
to spin this back on you >> because you're so to be so close to being that funny.
00:29:18
>> Really angry and then sad >> and then I just practice gratitude. I take deep breaths.
00:29:25
>> Gratitude. >> No. Well, you have your own lane. No one does what you do, Theo. So, you're the
00:29:29
funniest guy who does what you do. Does anyone do what you do? David has his own
00:29:35
soft >> very verbal pattern that's really lowfi but very funny all the time. >> Yeah. You never expect what he's going
00:29:44
to say kind of and he and he just knows so much and you're shocked by how verbose his awareness of things is.
00:29:52
>> Oh my god. >> He's probably one of the most aware guys. >> You mean about darkness and stuff?
00:29:57
>> Well, oh yeah. I'm not even sure what verbose means. I >> think it's kind of a good one though. I
00:30:02
think it's some it's speakers. We're selling speakers. But um but no, just his awareness like he just like he's so
00:30:09
like up on like just whatever the current events are, he just has all the >> the pattern pattern.
00:30:15
>> Yes. He's very Dexter. He doesn't just bring one weapon to the thing. Like Dexter always had like a ton of weapons
00:30:20
and like >> you know he'd be the he'd be the most he'd be the Michelangelo of killers, you
00:30:27
know? >> Right. You never got to hang out with Dennis Miller. would like that too,
00:30:31
>> dude. I did one at the fights. >> Oh, you did? Okay. >> It was the best. I got to sit right in
00:30:37
between them, dude. So, >> yeah. So, they would go like that, right? Huh? >> Yep. Best threesome I've ever been in,
00:30:43
honestly. >> Yeah. It was Dennis mumbling jokes on one side and me on the other. And we
00:30:51
were all hilarious. And uh I mean, we were all laughing the whole time because Theo says stuff. And Theo's like new
00:30:58
>> to the whole thing. and just everything is fun and exciting. I Theo I went to
00:31:01
the Ronda Rousey fight. I don't think I don't think you were there, but I was in
00:31:05
the second row. Dana White always puts us in the front row and it's such a world of difference because the second
00:31:10
row I I told Dana I had Michael Irvin in front of me. All it takes is one person.
00:31:14
It's over. Like he stands up. It's like full eclipse. I'm like, is the fight still going on? Because he stood up for
00:31:21
anything. They tie the gloves up. >> That's end of round up. >> Beginning of round up. I'm like athlete.
00:31:28
Yeah. So that and when John's Bones Jones was there too, I love him. >> Well, he's tall.
00:31:32
>> What a badass. So anyway, uh Theo and I had gone to the fights a few times. That
00:31:37
one time we got lost. Theo got frustrated because um >> I had a driver but the guy wasn't there
00:31:43
and we were late. >> The driver spoke a language that no one's ever spoken. >> No. And it's not even racist because I
00:31:50
never saw his face. So I'm not But I was in the back and I thought it was my driver but I didn't know Theo called an
00:31:54
Uber. So, we're in the SUV and I go, "Just go to the back entrance like we we said." And then he goes, "Oh, no, that's
00:32:02
for special." And I go, "What? No, I know. We're going to the back." He goes, "No, that's VIP special." I go, "Well,
00:32:10
what about us? We" And he goes, "Yeah, no special." Yeah. He kind of glanced and he goes, "No, no special here." And
00:32:16
then we go, "No, no, we're getting more mad cuz he won't." I go, "Actually, actually, it'd be great if you're going
00:32:22
to the front. We need to go to the loading dock." He goes, "No, very special." >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:32:26
>> And this is just a uh recreation of what happened, but it's not. And then uh >> and I was showing him pictures of David
00:32:33
like in all his like I'm like Roberts. I'm like this is >> Roberts is not the one to ring the bell.
00:32:41
But anyway, he goes, "Oh." He goes, "He's in sitcoms and stuff and movies." He goes, "Oh, you're in a a sitcom now."
00:32:47
I go, >> "Yeah, well, not the second." He goes, "No special." And we got out in the street because we
00:32:54
weren't getting even close. And then we got out and I think that was the first time I realized how famous Theo was
00:33:00
because so many people were coming up especially to fight and we had to wait for them to send someone to give us our
00:33:05
tickets and people kept coming up and it's the first time where you can see it. For both of us it starts to get a
00:33:15
little nerve-wracking because you're stuck. You can't keep moving because we're waiting. So then he goes, "Let's
00:33:21
just walk to the back." And I'm like, "Well, they're not gonna we they might not let us in and then we're gonna
00:33:26
there's already the guy at the front with our tickets." So we sat there and everyone means well, it just when they
00:33:31
get around you cuz they're fight fans, you know, and they're bored and we're just standing there like, "Hey, blah,
00:33:36
blah, blah." Right. >> Yeah. Everybody was kind of bored. It was just like, "Yeah, you're just
00:33:40
waiting in line kind of." So it was like a lot of um but that driver, he just did
00:33:44
not think we're special enough to drop us off in a decent area. >> Yeah. and he kind of dropped us off in
00:33:49
like a used person area. I was like, "That's even worse than just regular." >> He goes, "How about this part of the
00:33:54
median?" I'm like, >> "Yeah, >> that guy." >> Yeah. We got out in the middle of the
00:33:59
street, bro. >> Yeah. Yeah. It was funny, though. >> But David David like knowing David's
00:34:05
just been such a like just even getting to go to UFC, like I I got to sit in the
00:34:08
front row because of David. That was awesome. Um, you know, just some of the relationships that I got to build over
00:34:14
there. Uh Dana White did a really nice thing for our movie actually. Um >> Oh, that's right.
00:34:19
>> That I don't even know if we can say it or not, but he he saw that we had made
00:34:23
it ourselves and made it with our own money and he called us one day just out of the blue.
00:34:28
>> Can we even say that, David? >> I think so. Yeah, he doesn't care. >> We can cut it. And he said he said he
00:34:33
was going to make some make some commercials for us and put it in some of his uh fight
00:34:37
>> during the fight before the main event. And I and then I forgot cuz I thought,
00:34:41
"Oh, what if it doesn't happen? And I don't want to say anything because also he's the boss but you know whatever. And
00:34:47
then my friends are like I'm watching the fight dude. They're showing bus boys trailers. That was really cool Dana cuz
00:34:52
Dio originally when we were looking for money I tried Dana cuz I'm like Dana White's rich and this is his bar tab so
00:35:01
I can just ask for a little bit. And he goes, you know, I don't mind this idea. Let me talk to my guys. Give me a couple
00:35:08
days. And then Theo goes, "Hey, oh, I just got a guy that's gonna do it." So I called. I said, "Dana, don't worry about
00:35:14
it." And then uh so that's he was kind of aware of it. He hadn't even read it yet. He just goes, "Oh, I like the idea
00:35:20
of you and Theo uh doing a movie." And then we had a guy, Ezra. And then we we kind of got it going then, but uh it was
00:35:27
it was a long road. But yeah, it was a lot. I mean, I'd never done it before. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of stuff
00:35:34
that you guys do. People don't realize a lot of it, you know. I think it's some of it probably seems easier than it is
00:35:40
from the outside. >> Um, but yeah, putting it all putting it all together. I mean, we put it all
00:35:45
together. I couldn't even believe it was real. I mean, writing it was one thing.
00:35:48
It was like >> we would keep find ourselves in these problematic areas with the script where
00:35:53
things didn't make sense. And I think some of the movie still doesn't make a little bit of sense.
00:35:56
>> Yeah. >> But that's fine. You got to suspend disbelief. Right. >> Well, for that low budget, I've never
00:36:01
done for that low budget. And >> you don't get you don't get a full timeline on that. I mean, we we had the
00:36:08
problem with Jod, too, where >> they were taking out budget during the shoot, which is impossible. Me and Fred
00:36:14
are going, "Wait, we have to lose a set piece." Well, that that brings us from here to here. So, we're that was a time
00:36:22
jumping because we had to because we're like, "Then I jumped ahead three years."
00:36:26
Everyone's like, "Huh?" But we had to. But this one, it was just they had the fires were going and there was a lot of
00:36:33
wind. One day we couldn't really shoot. Yeah. >> And it's just those things when you're
00:36:38
outdoors and um it's very comp complicated and we weren't screening it. So we just were like asking two people.
00:36:48
We knew does this make sense to you? And then we figured out a few questions and
00:36:52
we went back and reshot a half a day and just said this will answer a couple things. And so far honestly Theo I get
00:36:58
probably 80% people that it's almost like they really like it or hate it. It's there's almost
00:37:04
no in between. These people that love it and watch it four times and then there's
00:37:08
about 10% that absolutely [ __ ] hate it. Yeah. >> And it's not even it's not even a toss
00:37:13
up. They're like this is the word F minus. They don't need to throw the minus. We've talked about this.
00:37:20
>> F is fine. Just go to G if you're going that low. Like >> a musical scale. What do you have a
00:37:26
Rotten Tomato score? Do you have a score on Rotten Tomato? >> No. Thank God because why have a
00:37:32
audience score? They said there's not enough reviews. >> Not enough reviews to get
00:37:36
>> because Yeah, because that's good or bad. >> Stu, it's good. >> Yeah, that's I I don't know what it is,
00:37:42
but I never heard of it before. >> Well, studios send it to be seen and screened
00:37:47
>> and we don't send it to anyone. >> Yeah. >> So, there's like internet people that
00:37:53
go, "Hey, I just saw it." And they might say something, but it's not enough for Rotten Tomato. So, we just have like a
00:37:59
75% audience. >> Really? Do we have that? That's amazing. >> I think that's good. That's like 75% of
00:38:05
my family liked it. 25% were like, "Shouldn't be doing this kind of stuff. We thought you were doing stuff with the
00:38:10
church now." >> Yeah. This was uh didn't pull punches with the R rated. You guys, did you
00:38:18
write stuff and go, "Oh, we can't do that." Was there anything off limits? The greatest thing about the writing was
00:38:24
we would get into some real culde-sacs and I would literally tell David and it would seem like he was not going to be
00:38:29
able to get us out of it and then he would come up with the idea and he'd be like, "No, this can't do that."
00:38:34
>> We started >> I was I Yes, I wrote it, but most of the I was the stenographer. I was the court
00:38:39
reporter. That's what I was. >> Well, you need someone to physically do it. And sometimes I I say
00:38:45
>> that was me. I was the minor. David was the jeweler, you know, the guy, you know, he was the guy with the, you know,
00:38:51
he was the guy with all the gems. I was just the guy who was like >> Theo's on the road and we get on a Zoom,
00:38:58
but we did laugh our [ __ ] asses off. And it's funny if you see a scene that's not that funny. Me and Theo are like,
00:39:03
"Ah, that's so great." And people like, "Is it?" But you know, you write it and it goes through different form then
00:39:09
we're like, "Oh, we hit a wall like [ __ ] Well, how do we get the drugs and how do they end?" How did you come up
00:39:15
with the I I don't for the people haven't seen it, but the acidy thing of where you have that thing in your car
00:39:20
and it identifies what kind of animals you're hitting. >> Like that was that was radar.
00:39:26
>> Very like rodent radar. Yeah. It's not fair that we live in 2021 or whatever and you look
00:39:35
and you're driving and you don't know what kind of animal you just hit. >> Yeah. It It's not fair.
00:39:39
>> Where's Tesla? Where's >> What is this? What is this? uh Little House on the Prairie. Like, well, how do
00:39:45
we like what is going on? So, >> right because we were hitting things, but we didn't realize they were drinking
00:39:53
water that was laced with cocaine. I don't think anyone realized that at the end of the movie.
00:39:59
>> That's kind of smart when you realize that's what it is because the cocaine is
00:40:04
getting lost in the water and broken up and >> yeah, there was a lot of things. >> There's some unanswered questions.
00:40:09
People are clamming for a sequel. They're like, "Just so we know what what's going on."
00:40:15
>> It's kind of like Highway to Heaven, you know? It had one. >> Exactly. >> It had one good season. Um
00:40:22
>> redoing Highway to Heaven. I love >> Highway Heaven. Yeah. Michael Landon. >> They've tried to redo it. I will say
00:40:27
this that they are redoing Little House in the Prairie. It's coming out on Netflix soon. Um
00:40:32
>> they're going back to 1980. >> 70s, late '7s. >> Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah. They just
00:40:39
have people that that's how they're like, "Here's how we live, Paw. Let's go to the mall, Paw."
00:40:45
>> It's fun to play a character that says, "Plind girl." >> Steo like the blind girl, Mary. What was
00:40:53
her name? >> Yeah. Well, she got kicked by a horse. David, >> is that That's not what happened. She
00:40:57
got acid thrown on her by a >> She got asked what do you think? She was at like a what? Like one of those uh
00:41:02
like a Rufus Dol concert or something like she was robbed about. Oh, she was >> Yeah, she was robbed of her pelts and
00:41:09
they threw acid. >> I missed that. >> No, I don't know. I'm trying to get us out of this.
00:41:13
>> I'll just be the audience for a second. What are you guys talking about? >> This is This is how we're writing the
00:41:19
movie. Yes, we're writing the movie. No, but this was this was true though. I had
00:41:22
a show up in Winnipeg last year and um I had a show up in Winnipeg last year and
00:41:28
after the show they're like uh some of the cast of Little House in the Prairie is here. They would like to say hello
00:41:32
and I was like >> they would like to say hello, >> dude. And I watched every episode. I'd
00:41:36
read the books. >> Mhm. >> So, um, I even met Nelly Olsen at a Starbucks when I first moved to LA. I
00:41:43
was there for like two weeks. >> Villain. >> I know. And I was trying to like I wasn't trying to flirt with her, but I
00:41:47
was like, I'll work at your house. I'll do whatever you need or whatever, you know, like I'll put I'll put stuff on
00:41:52
the shelves at the Merkantile. I'll do whatever you need. Right. But, um, anyway, they said the cast of Little
00:41:57
House in the Prairie is there and the the lady that played the mother, they're like, "This is the lady that plays Ma."
00:42:03
And I gave her like the biggest hug. Like I was like this kid like who would like like idolize this like character
00:42:08
when I was a kid, you know? >> Anyway, >> she's cute too. >> Um yeah, she's a really nice or cool
00:42:14
actress. Crosby is her name. Fitzgerald maybe I think is the actress. Oh, the original one, but the new one is named
00:42:20
Crosby. Fitzgerald. >> Oh, you know, um Nelly Olsen should be on Villains that show. Is that what this
00:42:26
show is called? Villains. Yeah, she was a good villain. By the way, Theo, this is off the record, but I got offered a
00:42:32
gig in Mur Freezeboro, Tennessee. Do you know where that is? >> Yeah. And I haven't been there though.
00:42:37
I'd come though. >> How far is it? An hour from you? >> Probably 40 minutes. I'd drive 40
00:42:42
minutes. >> I'll do it. I thought it was way far. They said, >> "Wait a minute. You're going to
00:42:45
advertise this and say my friend Theo's going to drop by?" I mean, >> no, he's not. I'm just asking how far at
00:42:50
the office. >> He's from Smashville. >> I'll jump on if he's got time. >> I want to go to that zero tax state,
00:42:58
man. What am I doing here? >> I know. That's the only bummer about LA. I love LA. Theo has a little place here
00:43:04
in Westwood, right? >> Yeah, but he's 181 in Tennessee, you know. >> 181 days. >> So much money. He's like Scrooge McDuck.
00:43:12
He just sits on a pile of money every night. >> That is not true, dude. I If I could
00:43:17
have I wish I could have some more money, but I just don't have anymore. >> If I had yours, I'd throw mine away.
00:43:23
>> No, but Theo has a special. Dana, Theo has a special coming out. Do you have the name of it or when it's coming out?
00:43:30
Yeah, >> we haven't decided on the name. I'm trying to figure that out right now. You
00:43:32
guys have any ideas? >> Um, I might pick one of them actually if you guys come with a good one.
00:43:38
>> Oh, yeah. That's a good idea. We should >> David also looks like David Dukovny
00:43:42
today, which people we we should say that. >> Oh, yeah. For people that aren't watching David Davney
00:43:48
>> slick today. >> People confuse him a lot. I've been with him before. >> Yeah.
00:43:53
>> You know, and some come up and whisper in his ear. He's like, "They're out there, aren't they?"
00:43:58
>> How about this for a title? What's up, y'all? >> All right. And what other >> I wanted to think of the worst title.
00:44:06
>> Scribbling them down. >> I want to think of a title where you would What's up?
00:44:11
>> I already used that one. That one. >> Um, spa. We were going to call this podcast Rackom.
00:44:18
>> Oh, yeah. Rack. >> That was David's. >> What do you say after you knock a ball
00:44:22
in a cub? >> Come here. >> Rackom. What were your previous specials names? >> Uh,
00:44:30
dang, I cannot even remember right now. Oh, um, no offense was one of them. >> Yeah, it's not very good.
00:44:36
>> And the other one was called Yes. >> Yes. How about some taken? >> Yeah, that's pretty good.
00:44:44
>> Yeah, >> some taken. That's another XFiles reference, isn't it? David Dukovny. I
00:44:48
believe that's about people getting abducted. Dude, it never ends today. >> Working it working it out. Y all working
00:44:55
it out. Y you all. >> No. No snap to it. >> No. I think it's good, man. I just I
00:45:01
look Yeah. I I don't know. I got to listen through one more time. I've been doing the editing and stuff.
00:45:05
>> Oh, no. That must drive you [ __ ] bonkers. >> Well, it's all bon I mean, it's just
00:45:09
like I mean, even with Bus Boys, it was like we had to do a lot of the, you know, we had editors, we had a um a
00:45:15
great director, and it's like we had great people, but in the end, if you're like producing it and stuff, you kind of
00:45:21
have to make a lot of choices. And you know it was tough. Someone >> we would go back and forth D like he
00:45:27
would in the edit for a while and then we look at it and then we go but I was always careful like if it's a Theo joke
00:45:35
>> I didn't want to just take it out >> unless I was like oh I don't think he'd want this one in but sort of you want to
00:45:40
go I don't want to be in charge of his joke in case he likes it but if he took one of mine out it's either to cover
00:45:48
each other to make sure you don't look stupid but some are so weird. There's a thing where you're you're with the guy
00:45:55
in the wheelchair and you're going on and on and that's some people's favorite thing and you just made all that up
00:46:02
while you're doing it. Commitment. >> Yeah. I think I I probably could have had a better I get used to editing just
00:46:07
my own podcast so we'll go through, you know, I'll watch everything and I'm sitting there giving notes and so I
00:46:12
probably could have done done a better job. I think I probably there was probably some of David's jokes where I
00:46:16
was like I don't think he you know for sure >> I like and I was like probably should
00:46:20
have asked him uh before just like taking some assumptions. Um but then there were some parts it was like I just
00:46:26
don't maybe this angle doesn't look great or something. It's like you want to make your boy look good. Um and then
00:46:33
but yeah I I learned a lot man. I learned a lot about like I don't know sometimes you want to learn lessons
00:46:39
easier ways you know but you learn them when you're in the fire you know and it's like I think I could have been a
00:46:43
better teammate at times I get used to like doing you know comedians you get used to doing everything by yourself
00:46:49
kind of it feels like a lot of times >> podcast well I understand podcast by yourself it's a hit
00:46:56
>> uh standup write it yourself it's a hit so even though we're good together it is
00:47:02
hard to say Oh, even forget us to say let set dressing deal with the plates because we're both going, do these do
00:47:11
these make sense? You know, and and you kind of start secondguessing every department. There's almost too much to
00:47:16
worry about and that drives people crazy. And then dailies are coming in which look bad because they're so
00:47:22
confusing. Now, that's one more thing spinning in your head and then we're it's just all hard and uh but I do like
00:47:29
the final product and going back and forth and saying like I would call Theo and say, "Hey, can we put this back in
00:47:36
or did you like this or or were you on the fence about like that kind of stuff?" And then so by by the end we're
00:47:42
both like, "Okay, this is it. We like it." And then whatever happens happens. So, I just like having it floating out
00:47:48
there and then kids can watch it or mostly under 8 years old is probably our crime.
00:47:54
>> Yeah, it's for kids. It's for kids who are getting dropped off at the mall who
00:47:57
are just burning time until they meet someone >> until they meet their someone >> or they get a snow cone by other means.
00:48:05
Yeah. >> No, David had some of the best choices. There was like this Steve Steve thing
00:48:09
that's in the beginning that I I was like, I don't get it. But then that was one of the biggest laughs in the
00:48:13
theater, you know. Um, and >> people like I like that moment >> and and I was like I just don't I don't
00:48:20
really see it that but we're in there and people die laughing and that was like a big moment for me. I was like
00:48:24
dude you sometimes you do not know what you're doing. >> Well, you never know until you see
00:48:28
crowds they laugh at something you don't think like a cutaway joke. But even I like when we're looking at the uh the
00:48:36
wedding ring and it's so tiny the diamond and you're like which one's the front? I'm like I think I saw it
00:48:41
earlier. Where's the diamond? Oh. Oh, here it is. You're like, "Yeah, that's some marriage metal."
00:48:45
>> Oh, yeah. That's some real. >> But when I say you keep >> I remember that. >> We're like, he's trying to help me out.
00:48:50
He's like, "This girl likes you still." >> I go, "But she doesn't even text me back
00:48:54
and she went to Palm Springs." You're like, "Yeah, cuz that's suspense. Haven't you heard of Jaws?" What a dumb
00:49:00
thing to say. >> So dumb. >> What a dumb. And you go, "We're saving Private Ryan." I'm like, "Well, Jaws
00:49:06
sort of makes Yeah, sure. >> It was dumb, dude. It was fun. Uh, I'm trying to think of another
00:49:13
really Oh, my favorite scene is probably David in the bathroom with Tim Dylan. I
00:49:17
think that's just such a good when he's like, "Make your favorite face." You mean he's like
00:49:23
does that >> and he's like, "Fuck yeah." >> Yeah. They had some funny angles on David with that, you know, bugged out
00:49:30
>> coming down on me like this. Also, Tim face. And then Theo, you put in a few extra shots cuz you're listening and
00:49:37
those are funny cutaways cuz you're doing different faces. cuz you're like sort of agreeing and then you're like
00:49:42
then you're back. And so that combo was fun. We did it. And when he says, "Hey, I'm not gay." And you're like, "Oh, no.
00:49:50
I'm not What do you think? We're here to suck your dick." And you're like, "I can't even suck my own dick. What a dumb
00:49:54
thing to say." And we all laugh. No, I know. >> I can't I'm not going to walk around
00:49:59
through life pretending like I'm a guy blow himself. >> No, you showed us at lunch. You can't.
00:50:04
>> Yeah, that's not who I am. >> You proved it. Um, uh, >> it was a lot, man. Thanks you. Thank
00:50:11
you, David, for just like honest. >> Anything else for Theo? Uh, Dana, we could go on and on forever with this.
00:50:17
>> We go on forever. I um >> I know this is more fun. I I didn't know. I'm not on SNL, so I haven't been
00:50:22
able to come on here. >> No, I This is our first time with Theo. We talk about them all the time.
00:50:26
>> Well, we have people that have have never been on SNL all the time now. That was
00:50:30
>> It started off as an SNL only. It was very exclusive. It was Marago. It was the Mara Lago.
00:50:36
>> Yeah, it was. It was >> we came out with 10 bangers, 10 all-time greats. And then, you know, it's been a
00:50:43
little pull up, pull up. But, >> by the way, we I just saw You didn't go to that UFC fight. I think you were
00:50:50
working on the reflecting pool. >> Yeah, I was probably doing something. >> Yeah, I think I was busy.
00:50:57
>> Yeah, you were busy. Uh, >> I think I was busy. But I thought it was one I thought that they did a great job.
00:51:02
I thought it was really amazing that Dana White gets things done. He's a kind of guy that continues to get
00:51:06
>> He's a stud. He's a good >> something that he says he's going to do. >> Um >> yeah, he's not a big bullshitter. I I'm
00:51:12
going to probably go to that. I might go to the Conor McGregor. At least I'm going to watch it. That one's coming up.
00:51:15
Do you know where that one is? >> I believe that's in Las Vegas. I'm I think I'm going to try to go to that
00:51:20
one. Um that would be awesome. But yeah, even just to be welcome at those things
00:51:23
is pretty special, man. I've met a lot of amazing people over there. And then you all have this thing in common. Yeah.
00:51:29
Nobody has like representatives or agents or man with that with them. So you just like you can just meet people
00:51:33
and talk to them like and everybody has like the fights in common. That's been um
00:51:38
>> that's been something special. Yeah. And getting to go with David, dude. David
00:51:41
took me to meet freaking Drew Brees one time at a party in his freaking backyard
00:51:44
in his in Scottdale. >> That's right. Oh yeah, it was it was a big >> Who's it was Kurt Warner's
00:51:52
>> Warner at a party. Kurt Warner has a half of a football field in his own yard.
00:51:55
>> [ __ ] that guy's rich. It was five acres. God dang. What happens? I was in Scots
00:52:00
there. Everybody got rich. Yeah, >> that was a lot of fun though. They were all nice. All those football players
00:52:05
were fun. >> And and Steve Maruchi was there. Mooch. >> Oh, that's right. I've seen him since.
00:52:10
Mooch. Well, we won't keep you. You're a good guy. That Hawaiian shirt looks very
00:52:15
>> BLM. Dude, I wore my freaking uh Tom Celic for you guys today. Nobody even called.
00:52:20
>> There was Oh, yeah. I'm seeing it now. >> How did we not mention BLM shirt? I
00:52:26
>> know. TLM, dude. And he passed away, huh? Who? >> Tom Celich. I don't think so.
00:52:34
>> Oh, >> no. Maybe Magnum did in the show. >> Oh, somebody. >> Oh, wow. You really brought somebody
00:52:41
pass. >> The third season of Magnum. I mean, today >> my funeral feed. No, my funeral feed is
00:52:46
Sorry, >> it's mess. >> Oh, you're you got a funeral app. >> I got a bad Yeah, I'm getting We're
00:52:51
getting some bad intel on it. >> Yeah. Okay. Um, well, Dana, >> the only thing I wanted to say is your
00:52:58
podcast, >> the Amish boy you interviewed and some of the UFC fighters, it's extremely
00:53:06
high-skilled interviewing and and it's it's just great content. I love I love your lane, what you do that no one else
00:53:14
does. I mean, there's Rogan and stuff, but you do have your own style and it's you were so gentle with that boy and
00:53:20
kind. I I don't know. just just putting some sugar out there, just saying, "Hey,
00:53:25
what's up?" you know. >> Well, thanks, dude. I appreciate it. Yeah. I don't really know what my lane
00:53:29
is. Sometimes I know that I work really hard. Um >> it's almost all I do most of the time,
00:53:34
you know? It's like the safest place for me to be. Even like with my thoughts or
00:53:38
feelings, I put them into work cuz I feel like it's just I know there's a potential return there, you know? So,
00:53:44
sometimes I wish I could do a better job of putting like that same energy into like um other fields of my life
00:53:50
probably. But it has been great, dude. It's been great just to sit and talk with people, to learn how to listen.
00:53:55
I've done that, been able to do that a little bit better over time. Um, you know, I'd like to be able to just like,
00:54:00
yeah, sometimes you want to have fun, but sometimes you want to talk with somebody something that means something.
00:54:03
And they let me talk to children, which is nice. And so, you know, that Amish boy, who knows what happens to him. He
00:54:08
might end up, you know, >> you know, you know, we don't know how it's going to go for him. We hope he
00:54:13
does well. We hope he stays over there milking with the boys or whatever. I don't know what that term means in some
00:54:18
communities, but um but he might give up and he might go out into the secular world or the insular world. I can't
00:54:24
remember what it's called. >> Yeah. >> And live at a Dave Busters and drink his life away. You know, I don't know what
00:54:29
he's going to do. >> All scenarios are very >> He was pretty poised for his age. I I I
00:54:34
got a good feeling about him. >> He's really He's really fallen off the cow's back since then. That's what
00:54:39
that's >> He's not going to die by nail gun. I don't know Amish community where they
00:54:45
build everything with like chewed up gum stuck together. >> They have it done. I don't think they
00:54:50
even got co or something. They really stay out of the fray. >> Yeah, cuz it's not Well, it wasn't real.
00:54:55
That's a new thing. I don't know if you read Tulsa Gabard's new report, but uh that's
00:54:59
>> Yeah, I It's sitting on my desk. I haven't read it yet. >> Tada. So interesting. Interesting. So
00:55:06
here's my question. If people didn't die of CO, what did they die? What What happened? Yeah, Dana will tell you
00:55:12
because he does Fouchy. >> Oh, he does. >> Tell him about the shot. >> Oh, do the Yeah, do that.
00:55:17
>> Well, this was when Yeah, the uh people were getting their shots. They were timing their shots because the thing
00:55:24
kept mutating, you know, and Fouchi had to come out. I KNOW I TOLD YOU WHEN YOU GOT THE VACCINE, you'd be dancing in the
00:55:32
streets. I MISSED IT BY A LITTLE BIT. You can have 10 vaccines and four boosters. GET AND GIVE CO TO ANOTHER GUY
00:55:41
WITH 20 vaccines and 19 boosters. YOU CAN HAVE 45 VACCINES AND 200 boosters you can get and give. Anyway, THAT'S WHY
00:55:52
I'M INTRODUCING TONY Fouch's daily shot. Every day you go to your healthc care provider and you get a shot. BY THE TIME
00:56:00
YOU GET TO YOUR CAR, YOU GOT NO IMMUNITY, BUT IT'S A beautiful 39 seconds. Anyway, that was my poem to try to help
00:56:10
me deal with the whole coy thing. >> I got a couple death threats, but that's okay.
00:56:18
>> Hey, come on. >> We were right. >> Um, but yeah, who knows? I don't know. Um, but I think who I don't know
00:56:26
anything. >> Yeah. >> Well, but thank you guys for having me, man. It's it's an honor to be on here
00:56:31
with both of you guys. Thank you guys for all the laughter, for being some of the greats. I don't think they have
00:56:35
humor like you guys made anymore. I think it's pretty diluted the stuff we're out here. You know, you guys were
00:56:41
dealing with pure I mean white flake stuff straight out of Colombia. That's the stuff that you guys were giving to
00:56:48
the masses >> um through humor. And we're out here. This stuff has been stepped on. The
00:56:53
stuff that we're delivering, it's got baby laxative in it. We're just out here. We're barely filling the diaper.
00:56:58
And you guys were just blowing them out. >> Fruit fresh in it. you know, uh, I saw
00:57:03
Wedding Crashers in a in a related story and some of the jokes are pretty rough and you didn't even think of it back
00:57:08
then and now you see like a movie and there's like two big comedy stars and it's like they're kind of roasting each
00:57:15
other like look at those shorts you look like some crazy guy in them and everyone's like are these jokes but it's
00:57:21
the safest joke world and I think that's why there's not a lot of R-rated movies
00:57:25
cuz >> the bigger the corporation the more they're scared of offending and hurting
00:57:29
feelings and some of the ones and saw our movie were like, "Oh, that's a little spicy. I don't think that would
00:57:35
work with us." And that's okay. We kind of knew what we were getting into. >> That's good. Yeah. Some of the streamers
00:57:40
passed on it right out of the gate, you know, and uh Good. I don't you know, can
00:57:45
we >> Yeah. And I've seen so much bad [ __ ] on some of the streamers that uh I think we're in a good Let's don't
00:57:52
pretend like just because it's a they have a channel that the [ __ ] on there is
00:57:56
great. How many bad movies are on most of these streaming platforms? Most of the streaming platforms.
00:58:02
>> It's it's uh it's very difficult sometimes. You always >> I'm not saying that. I'm not saying ours
00:58:08
is >> Yeah. We're not the greatest. I agree with you're saying that. >> How many movies have you turned on?
00:58:13
You're like, "What are we even doing here?" Okay. >> Yeah. I think what happens like with
00:58:18
>> definitely >> comedies is you start to get the same seven jokes that are sort of approved by
00:58:24
everyone and not offensive and now it's just different versions of just a handful of jokes that are like
00:58:28
everyone's like okay I mean we don't laugh at that but that's acceptable >> well that's what happened with late
00:58:33
night too late night kind of it felt like it got a little bit like that sometimes you know um especially
00:58:38
political and >> yeah political and then there's only one group to make fun of type of thing but
00:58:42
um >> I will say that uh I thought it was cool that we made something and we got it
00:58:48
done and we got it all the way through and that gives me like a lot of pride that I got to do that with David
00:58:52
freaking Spade, dude. >> Um, >> no, listen, I had a such a such a great experience going like from having an
00:58:59
idea and being buddies and then just putting something together. So, thank you for doing that.
00:59:04
>> And Dana, who's one of the top 10 SNLs of all time, this is the compliment Dana
00:59:10
gets. >> They go, Dana, always funny, >> always funny on here. And then when people come to me, they go when they
00:59:16
come on the show, they go, "Dana, you were unbelievable. Top 10." And they go, "And Spade, you were on there, too. You
00:59:21
did some stuff." And I go, "Thank you." But you can't even compete with legitimately with all the cast members
00:59:27
that D. >> That's what I was built to do, man. I mean, >> sketch comedy. That's how I was made
00:59:32
for, but I didn't know it till later. But you guys are >> We sat through a lot of bad cast members
00:59:36
to get enjoy you. >> I'll say that. >> All right. Thanks, buddy. And uh Well, let's get back.
00:59:45
>> Well, if we think of a name for your special, I'll reach out. >> Yeah, we'll text you
00:59:48
>> because I do like that stuff. I was just joking around, but yeah. >> No, and it can be racial, too, if it
00:59:52
needs to be. I'm okay with it. >> Okay. >> Black like me. >> You could say that's not bad. The nword
01:00:00
and then you put Nashville. What did you think? >> Yeah, actually think. Speaking of the I
01:00:04
just bought 40 nword passes online. >> You can get them online. >> Yeah, I got 40 of them. selling six of
01:00:10
them for charity, but they're like peptides or something. >> You can just use them out in the real
01:00:15
world. >> I mean, they look these are official. They're official. So, we'll see how that
01:00:19
>> So, you don't get in trouble. Is that what it is? >> TBD, man. Times have changed.
01:00:23
>> Yeah. TBD, dude. >> Times has changed. That's not bad. >> You guys in the streets, M.
01:00:28
>> Yeah. Okay. >> All right. Listen, if you're enjoying the fly on the wall, of course,
01:00:35
hopefully you are, click follow. We don't want to be desperate, but obviously smash that goddang button on
01:00:42
your favorite podcast app. >> Leave a review, a good one. >> Leave a fivestar rating, nothing else.
01:00:48
>> Whoops. >> And maybe even share an episode with a friend. If you're watching this episode
01:00:53
on YouTube, please subscribe. Dana, what do you think? >> I'm going to tell you this right now.
01:00:57
Hear me now, believe me later. Fly in the Wall, believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey and executive
01:01:05
produced by, hold for it, Dana Carvey and David Spade, or David Spade and Dana Carvey. We don't write this stuff.
01:01:13
Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman, and Leah Reese Dennis. The show is edited by Evan
01:01:20
Cox with production support from Phil Sweet Tech. Talent production and booking by Sophia Leapor.