00:00:00
[Music] hey hey Sarge hey what are we doing here exactly you got to give me a minute on
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this hey is that a dick mallerie oh oh you said something naughty hey loopy oh you're talking to me yeah cuz didn't
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you just come from looping oh yeah we looped I Loop today for those of you who don't know and you're not in sh is uh looping God you might as well call me a
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[ __ ] Ooma loopa look at that [ __ ] hair I love the little side angles and stuff I got
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to get a good I'm not I was going to do a hat I will in a bit but I was going to just let you see what's really going on
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so I to Loop for a Sierra commercial so you have to go down there and looping means
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voice over and on a commercial you just do it for the commercial and put your voice over it uh and on movies you have
00:01:11
to do it to your voice which is hard uh they have a voice it's too loud in the background there's a helicopter there's a plane or there's water running there could be a million things scratches your
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shirt your microphone so you have to just they give you three beeps you know how to do it it goes boop boop boop and
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then you go here's my line you have to match your lips it's actually kind of hard it's incredibly hard you could have
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a line like well I don't believe the police because they don't know what the [ __ ] they're doing right so it's like
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yeah beep beep beep well I don't know about the police because they don't know what the sorry let me do it again I
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don't know and then they play it back and your lips aren't matching and you're there for hours and and then they go
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break it up let's just do the right let's just do the first part then we'll come back and do the beeps for the right
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and they try to get you hear it in your ear and match what you did that day yeah
00:02:04
cuz you it's hard to put yourself in that same place the same energy whatever you were feeling down up uh it's
00:02:09
terrible and then they after that sometimes they'll do I think it's called Foley just give me these sounds
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like that's I that's where I come in oh yeah they go you're falling down a hill o
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o now now that I'm just old they go you're just getting out of your car and I go what noise they're like well that
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day you're like I go God just to stand up they're like yeah yeah I froze again yeah did I freeze Dana
00:02:40
yeah I like I see Dana's face I see him going hello Frozen my hey man you know people sometimes think being able to see and hear each other on this type of podcast is
00:02:52
important but I say no I say now the more you're Frozen uh Magic happens listen Frozen was a big movie imagine right did you did you say
00:03:05
did you slip in that you're doing a commercial for Sierra Mist it's not Sierra Mist it's just Sierra outdoor I
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did one for Sierra Mist years ago so you do anything with ASM you do it so Sierra
00:03:18
outdoor yeah it's so you're just doing voiceovers voice over I do voice over but then I did actual commercial uh I've done it for a few years and uh it's pretty fun actually
00:03:31
and you get to see the stores and um but they they were whipping me into shape today on that oh you know when I did
00:03:37
Black Sheep oh a couple people remember Applause with Chris Harley so I I go to do my looping which they call it um and they the worst part it's harder than the
00:03:49
movie because they have chunks of like four to eight hours you do it right you sit in a theater or you sit in a booth
00:03:55
and you watch it playb and everyone's behind you or on a zoom going beep beep beep and you're like you know whatever your line is so it's hard to do but you can do it and so I leave and Farley
00:04:07
comes in he goes are you Davey are you looping did you Loop and I go yeah I go good luck in there and I can tell he's already disaster you know he's like got like a big coat on like
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from Young Guns it's like a duster I'm like he's not ready yeah I don't know what you're doing so he comes in all
00:04:26
beat up and that night he goes didn't go great at the old Loop sesh I go what happened he goes it's it was hard for me to pick it up I I did I did all right I
00:04:38
did pretty good but it's hard you got the beeps I go right so the next day they go you're done but Farley has to
00:04:45
come in because he didn't get one one line not one even hey you hello Washington no 35 takes later yeah he couldn't get it he goes beep beep
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by I go I go now everyone's like yes go they actually to use that the movie Frozen do I go on the third beep or do I wait and it's on four you know what there's a there's a meme that sounds
00:05:13
like you now that's a monkey and it's from a movie I think Greg's seen it and they go and it sounds like my nurse well
00:05:19
they go like this they show the monkey from a movie but it's all cutouts it's just him from a movie and it goes when
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you get to a party and you realize it started at 11: not eight and he goes oh no okay have you seen those hether influence spread Nick schwarts and sends me one of every [ __ ] day okay wait I
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have an impression for you before we get back to all this [ __ ] that we have to re redo or whatever this is a micro one
00:05:46
it's a good okay it's it's a reimagining of an old one okay I'm bringing it up to
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date not really okay this is Michael J fox obviously the only one I do perfect and just do another and this is uh him
00:06:02
with a girl he's him with a girl getting pegged for the first time you know what that is Peg I think so yeah you do yeah you do
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okay ready I'll know I'll know after you do the impression yeah you will okay hey hey
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Sarge hey what are we doing here exactly you got to give me a minute on this hey is that a dick
00:06:35
mallerie oh oh you said something naughty I'm going to have to talk to the MPAA Association what is the I was doing Monkey J fox with my left hand which I
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never do which is hard I was under the pressure of Riverside always [ __ ] freezing and so I'm like and I was like
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there's a c truck outside had everything going against but I still did it you still got it and I realized I didn't
00:07:02
really know what I was going to say I was like wait how does this go I Did It On The Comedy Store last
00:07:08
night and as a unit it was the one thing in my act that did not work well I'll explain this to okay go ahead tell me you are not doing exactly Michael J fox
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you are doing Michael J fox from casualties of War I mean he would do that stuff in the sitcom but that was from that movie in specific sge yeah I I
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could say I I don't have to do Sarge hey hey Sarah hey hey hey what are we doing here
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exactly hey come on you got to give me a minute on this here that's that's [ __ ] nine
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inches okay it's you know pegged is he's getting rammed up the butt with a [ __ ] okay got it that's what's
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happening wait she straps it on and pegs him in the beeh and then he's like he doesn't really know what's happening the way to make it kind of sweet and and I think kind of fun late
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I'm gonna work I'm GNA work on this with you a little bit this is this is what this is this is what we would do if we
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weren't on our podcast right now here's my thing so the compliment is Michael J fox is that he was such a great actor and he would get a little breathless and
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he'd get a little intense he could say anything and it would have an intense gravitas to it so he could be talking he could be ordering
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at McDonald's and it would sound fantastic right and then I go but I only know how to say the couple things oh you can't go hey Doc hey Doc hey Doc are we
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doing a MC McMuffin what are we doing here exact well if you if Doc is your keyword to get that's one of them yeah sorry do
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yeah you have to do the prostate exam it's a girl wears a strap on and she Rams them in the beeh I know but you don't even you you just say Peg and you expect the audience to understand I
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think The Comedy Store unfortunately did get that part they just think I think they're too young for Michael J fox very
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possible this Hat's to in the front it's going to block me yeah L I have a hat here I'll take this one to get rid of my Oompa loopa so I've got my looping
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nightmare what do you got Loop guy Loop me Nicholas Cage John Lovitz and myself do a movie um where we're falling down in the snow it's called trapped in Paradise so we spent three months in
00:09:49
Canada in the middle of the night 10 below falling down in the snow and um you know they go rolling so
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if it wasn't snowing they would blow snow SF flake so it was always rolling and all you'd hear
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is guy with like a leaf Flor oh yeah giant fans all so I I I was still kind of new to the business in a way I'm doing my lines
00:10:14
I'm kind of doing Mickey Rock and Brad gray my former manager gu rest so was doing a guy like this I don't know what
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you're doing but you shouldn't do it you know that kind of thing and um I had underplayed and quiet very quiet and it
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disappears under the [ __ ] barrage of the and saww so I had like three weeks looping every single line every single you know in a movie you already probably didn't like and then I like no I mean it
00:10:40
was so much fun working with Nicholas Cage the guy is absolutely hysterical and then so he's in there and he's got
00:10:46
to Loop his lines and then he's in there for hours so he's Crossing me over and then he just dropped to his knees right outside the looping place and went why God why you knew where I was going yeah
00:10:59
I like it I go why would he okay why God why no but I love Nicholas Cage he was one of the funniest people I've ever worked with I will move on to tell you that we had you know I go on YouTube and
00:11:11
look at the feedback the UFO gentleman Dr Stephen Greer he got probably the most that we've had on YouTube because a lot of people are really interested in that kind of stuff and uh he had a lot
00:11:24
to say and I just wish we had more time to ask him like our aliens living here now are they among us because I've heard they kind of you know kind of can sort
00:11:38
of look like us and move around and I want to know what happened in Vegas did they see anything where they
00:11:45
cloaked uh I want those hard I mean we're like 60 minutes now I know I know well Dr Greer um there
00:11:55
was there was a lot of lot of time we had to take to get into his world you know so it's kind of like oh you did this you did this you saw this you saw this and it was it was there was a lot
00:12:05
of information there right but I did at the end go do these aliens do they understand Infinity they understand the
00:12:13
concept of no beginning and no end do they understand God I Jesus Christ I never got an answer from Dr Greer well those were big ass questions I was just
00:12:23
like are they made out of metal or tin foil I was trying to like get it you know well I call I called him later and
00:12:32
I'm not I'm not going to say anything spooky but I was like hey Dr G Santa Cary from Superfly yeah all I hear was do not go any
00:12:44
further oh let it lay let it stay let it lay and let it stay let it what are are Bigfoots real I have a lot I have a big laundry list I want to ask him he this is so B basic for him he he
00:13:00
wants to talk about the stuff that's more complicated well the Consciousness and I would say how big does a foot have
00:13:05
to be before you get the nickname Bigfoot that's what I would have asked him if I had time yeah stuff like that I
00:13:13
would have you ever seen a flying saucer That Couldn't fly just had wheels and just went on the ground do they ever
00:13:21
does it breakdown and they stick their legs out the bottom like The Flintstones and what about okay and then the cult um the woman uh that came on was it Sarah
00:13:34
Sarah was great and people had a lot of questions I forgot to say you know what I think is more of a cult these days
00:13:40
because we were saying where does it lend itself in real life like little micro Cults Bachelor The Bachelor they're on
00:13:48
in a mansion they take their phones for five or six weeks there's nothing happening except the guy yeah you have
00:13:56
to kind of worship the guy and be into the guy because that's the only way you can get out of the house and that's the only attention so they all get
00:14:03
brainwashed into going oh then they leave and they go this is the clown I was into then once they get back to the
00:14:08
mall they're like oh there's other guys in the world oh I'm on my phone again like it's not as interesting and then they break up yes I mean yes yes well
00:14:18
I'm just going on the idea that you're the bachelor dude you go in there there's 20 attractive women that are vying for your attention and you're seeing you're giving attention to some
00:14:30
not others it's probably one of the most attractive things a man could do if he would had a crush I'll use 1950s yeah on a woman she wasn't really coming around
00:14:40
is to find another beautiful woman to go into the restaurant you know because everyone wants what they can't have so
00:14:47
the attraction meter of the bachelor goes up exponentially Andor The Bachelorette I don't I equal opportunity
00:14:56
sure equal 5050 uh also when it would be nice if you could always have 19 other girls to make the girl jealous um but even if you're dating
00:15:07
someone you break up if you find out they're on a date or you text and they're not answering you all night drives you crazy these girls it just
00:15:13
grinds in them they know they're on a date and they're always making out they make out with everyone right in front of them they go in the other room oh sorry
00:15:20
I didn't know you were dry humping and I'll take some more sh what does it say about the culture that so weird it's such a it's such a rough show like I I mean I joke about it but it's really
00:15:31
tough on the emotions okay other than that what is I going to tell you oh I'm doing a bus tour and uh everyone's
00:15:38
buzzing about it and everyone says Spade quote you're the biggest colossal [ __ ]
00:15:43
in America how are you going to do a bus tour I'm starting with a one week one all right give me give me the
00:15:50
logistics what's first city what are they here Heather it's Wilmington North Carolina from Atlanta from La I got to
00:15:58
go all the way well you're going to fly first yeah I fly across get on a bus grinding gears isn't there oh yeah we're almost there and then okay
00:16:17
then bad breaks and then open it okay sorry and then they come on and then they go he can never find him he grind you're going to sit behind the the
00:16:31
driver of the bus and do those effects for seven hours V now I'll be perfecting I'll be like everybody quiet I've got a real ear for this but those are buses from when I wrote that joke about sound
00:16:44
effects in 19 okay so how many hours the first bus ride from where to where I think it you know what it's not as hard
00:16:50
as we think it's it goes Wilmington Asheville Greensboro Greensboro Knoxville Lexington you know you've never heard of
00:17:02
these countries because you don't care I care about the the smaller I've been everyw man I've been I've probably
00:17:08
played all those towns yeah yeah yeah they played those towns you know yeah yeah I played them um there by the way
00:17:15
they have some like 3,000 seeders like they're they're not screwing around so well then you're the biggest thing in
00:17:21
town you play La it's a little difficult unless you're Taylor Swift or something because there's so many choices but
00:17:27
there it's like well we can go down to the movie theater I think they've got a John Wayne reboot or we could go see
00:17:35
David spoter over at the the Regal Theater they got 3,000 seats our town is 1100 seats so we're going to have to bring in the Hill billies from the hills
00:17:48
CU that's where Hill billies live so yeah you it ain't on fishing night hey what where you from boy you sure got a pretty mouth this is you this is not me
00:18:00
making fun of them because I'm going there that's Dana I can make fun no I'm excited they said your bus though you can only there's a little
00:18:11
tiny bathroom in the front I'm going to ask Theo and Nate Bazi how this works and then they said
00:18:17
there's one in the back like there's like a little microscopic bedroom they say bedroom it's literally like a bed
00:18:22
with about three Ines around it and then there's a dumper in there and they go that's the only place you can take a
00:18:29
dump so in the middle of the night my two openers will be like it's time I'm like no no you're not
00:18:36
going to throw down a steamy banana in here I'm sleeping or I do human beings walking
00:18:44
out of my bed I'm like oh sorry I just had to drop off usually people if they wake up in middle of the night they they
00:18:50
go no that we lead with this we I had to take the Cleveland Browns to the Super Bowl how I mean don't most people just do number one in the middle of the night how many people wake up at 2:00 a.m. and
00:19:02
go I got to get something out of me I know I had a buddy that was a night [ __ ] and it's the worst we go to
00:19:08
dinner and he's like this name for it yeah he's like this he takes a bite of his [ __ ] appetizer and he's like
00:19:16
excuse me he comes back 20 minutes later and I'm like this night [ __ ] night [ __ ] he knows how to poo
00:19:27
it we've got we've got night [ __ ] yeah we got a really high quality podcast no night [ __ ] sounds like a private detective works at night but he always has to go number two on ABC This
00:19:40
Week ABC nice [ __ ] I would arrest you but I got to go [ __ ] dump a cow yeah Darren McGavin is the night [ __ ] I'll be RB
00:19:53
and you better stay here because I just have one creeping up I got one knocking at the back door but I'll be back
00:19:59
I got a [ __ ] turtle head I got to get out of here and I'll come right back turtle turtle I got one touching
00:20:08
cloth all right so sickening I know Heather just got that [Music] one I just have a question I know it sounds random why do you want to learn a new language uh mostly uh it's getting
00:20:29
to be a very Intercultural world and uh I want to know what people are saying when they're pointing at me uh in other languages and I also want to
00:20:39
sound smart those are the big reasons and the whole world is flying all over the world I think it'll be a record this summer and then you're in these foreign countries and you can just be goooo Gaga
00:20:51
or you can learn the language you'll sound smart I don't want to be goooo Gaga This is Rosetta Stone who we've worked with forever uh
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00:21:38
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00:21:51
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00:21:59
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25 language courses for the rest of your life redeem your 50% off at Rosetta stone.com Superfly today oh the SNL documentary we both
00:22:46
did yes they're doing a bunch of SNL documentaries to celebrate the 50th yeah anniversary of site live and um let me hear about your experience first
00:23:00
you you did the the one for that's focused primarily on Lauren Michaels was the one we both did yeah we also have a
00:23:07
podcast fly on the wall where we talk to a lot of people from SNL but I I went in
00:23:13
you went in before me and so when I went in they said can you do an hour now this
00:23:21
is not jury duty but we talk about SNL a lot on flying the wall and so we've done it all and I only had one critique of
00:23:30
it uh if I may first of all I the first thing I said was don't pull a Dana on me
00:23:38
I did say that to them I think it's the same crew it would be the same crew probably what's a Dana where they keep
00:23:45
me for three hours oh I had one hour for the other one I'll talk about and then two hours for Lauren yeah it was three hours was there two different ones or was it different ones yeah they're doing
00:23:56
like five of them but they're doing one um documentary for peacock or something on the cowbell sketch with will farell a documentary on one sketch yes wow okay
00:24:10
and they handed me stuff they handed me stage direction to read to read as Lauren um to do Walkin to talk about sketch sketch is brilliant it's hysterical but um sketch is the funniest
00:24:23
part well this is what this is how people make documentaries not just the everyone they don't know what they they
00:24:29
don't know what the theme is they don't know where they're going let's everybody famous get every single thing we can and
00:24:36
then then reverse engineer a theme and so forth you know because I felt like I was the whole documentary after two
00:24:42
hours is it just me talking about Lauren you know no I like it because you get everybody famous you're right and then they just hodg Podge it they could make
00:24:53
I honestly I said it's an hour I go I can do 45 not to be a prick but how long I mean if they interview 400 of us for an hour special we're gonna I go which
00:25:03
15 seconds are you going to use of me which 8 second clip when I say something funny 90 minutes yeah I go that's the
00:25:10
one you're going to use I said one thing that was kind of funny and they're like got it that's right but I just wish the guy interviewed me was nice enough super
00:25:18
nice yeah but when you're in something like that I wish they had an old cast member be the interviewer because you relax around someone that's
00:25:28
been in they go how is read throughs what what was your funnest moment of read through and you're like oh right
00:25:35
but a guy is telling you that you relate to even if I don't know them because they were on the show so it was a stranger and the whole crew is strange
00:25:42
I'm just sitting on a couch I mean looking adorable that wasn't the problem but I'm on a couch was the camera
00:25:48
basically here you said it was one [ __ ] inch in front of your face it's [ __ ] I thought you did on Zoom how close no no I was in person oh gross up
00:25:59
in up in the mountains here in a house they came to you cuz I don't play I I don't really feel I don't really feel like doing oh you want us to come to you
00:26:11
I'm going to have to talk to the documentarian doctor I have to talk to the doctor meaning documentary
00:26:19
documentary doctor yeah [ __ ] a they went up there they hauled their Wares up there yeah they were great but I I mean listen in the middle there's a camera on
00:26:30
my side and in the middle I go is this on too and I I go this thing's plugged in I didn't even see it who wants this shot it's like this I go what do you got a sun dial right here you is there any
00:26:43
reason you would use that shot and there's one behind me and I go what's this [ __ ] he goes oh cuz we're gonna
00:26:49
have you watch a video just like you just like you I had to B my phone they handed me a phone and I watched the sketch and then I laughed at it real time it's the game is to collect like I
00:27:00
said data as much data but it it can get exhausting I did Lauren for like an hour
00:27:06
you could the only cutaway they could have you is watching cowbell and just show everyone laughing at it and they're
00:27:11
like wow they got a lot of stars to come in get hair and makeup and laugh and that's all they use you never know I
00:27:18
know I know but I had to watch my they didn't have my audition because I'm too old I guess but they did have um me oh my my HBO young comedians that I always
00:27:31
talk about with Dennis introducing me and they go watch your set and comment so that's kind of what we did here when I did my Johnny Carson so I watched it kind of made fun of it again knowing
00:27:42
it's going out the window um well how was that part of the Lauren Michaels documentary because that's how I got on
00:27:49
SNL mine was only about SNL oh that they saw you on the Dennis Miller thing yeah
00:27:55
I got it yes that's how it got in their world of Marcy Klein and you know whoever Sho maker that saw it so um and got on Lauren's desk so that was great
00:28:05
between Dennis and you know Bernie brillstein and gerbitz and everybody so uh we did that and then I did all the
00:28:12
questions and I was perfectly Pleasant they said I was the best one Whatever whatever and then they even called me
00:28:19
last night and said why couldn't you have been more like David more pleasant and I go who is this oh you I'm not
00:28:26
going to tell you my name well justess what I work here now I saw the footage you were really boring I'm going to tell Lauren then I'm going to tell the
00:28:38
doctor don't tell the doctor on that why would you tell them that just keep that between
00:28:44
us that they're doing a documentary just on 1980 the 1985 to 1986 stanza as well oh really yeah that's another they're doing I'm not
00:28:57
that either okay in that that's why cuz I was they're doing five documentaries I'm so young and fresh they're doing a
00:29:03
movie about the first episode Kai Gerber I saw K she's in this movie playing Chevy Chase's wife they're in a whole movie about the first show did you sign a non-disclosure
00:29:16
agreement on the way out because I did now we spilled the beans I didn't say [ __ ] well everyone knows there's a bunch of 50th Anniversary [ __ ] coming their
00:29:26
way hey I didn't say [ __ ] about [ __ ] I didn't say [ __ ] [ __ ] Yeah Tim Robbins
00:29:34
I didn't do [ __ ] [ __ ] dude okay um also oh people always say in the comments we look the same I've had it that's getting racist because first of all are the white people that last
00:29:47
people you can say you look exactly the same I'm not offended really I'm not offended when people say it about other
00:29:54
ethnicities but it's fullon taboo even though people do look the same but you and I don't really look the same but everyone's like I have no other comment maybe I'll try this one and then I write
00:30:06
bomb or I put like a bomb emoji or five shut up Brian I'm gonna make a comment on superfight just shut up check it out I bet he answers he's a [ __ ]
00:30:19
puss David spit Dan Carvey look alike man hey suck on that I'm pressing send send that [ __ ] I dare you yeah yeah and see how they respond right we love our fans come on
00:30:31
the fans are great I like to fight with them uh but they're mostly YouTube I say it's very good it's you know if it's
00:30:37
constructive like I read it and I go oh yeah the problem with me I don't want to read it because I'm My Own Worst it'll
00:30:44
get in your head yeah a lot of people were saying and I you don't even need to know this that you come off like a
00:30:50
booger eating [ __ ] so I'm like you know I'm not going to tell him you know what I got I got that 10x
00:30:57
in my brain 10x if booger eat [ __ ] someone said Spade you're a real Pro I go oh thanks they go oh you admit you're a pregnant [ __ ] ostrich I go oh I really fell for that one yeah you
00:31:11
just stepped right into that one late at night did you cry yourself to sleep or did you get mad at them no I cry at
00:31:17
night either way um but okay let's get to the headlines oh this is right up your alley you're a basketball guy uh it would be irresponsible to put Caitlyn Clark on Olympic team for marketing
00:31:29
reasons thoughts there is the fantasy world and there is the real world last I checked basketball either the professional or
00:31:43
the on the Olympic level is a business it's a global business it's a global brand I would say I my advice would be put Caitlyn Clark on the Olympic team
00:31:54
yep me too um and it's just about the magic of uh the three-point shot it's just something you want to see it's great for the country so but she didn't get on so I don't know any details but I
00:32:08
like to in life have strong opinions with very little information yeah um what what's your hot take my take is I
00:32:17
agree with you where she's probably not the best one yet there's season veterans
00:32:22
that are bigger stronger faster she will be the best one I'm guessing but she is
00:32:28
the pretty much by a long shot the one people care about and if you're the Taylor Swift of the team and you want to
00:32:35
get exposure and you want 90% more press going over there I mean even if they win
00:32:42
the goal they've won seven times with her they're not going to lose the goal she won't matter put her in some garbage
00:32:48
time put her at the beginning people freak out they love to see her they come to watch her they want to see her get her photo they were there when she
00:32:55
played they'll probably still win and by the way we've never heard of the last six gold medals they won so this gets it to the Forefront you know what I mean if you want to hear about them yeah and if
00:33:08
they win another gold is that more important I guess but the Olympics in general like almost who cares you got
00:33:14
people over here that you can't even put an American flag up they hate you so it's like it's such a weird world now
00:33:19
that are the Olympics as big as they were do they matter is it a huge deal right okay bigger S um I would say that you know 20x we live
00:33:33
in a world where you can Monet monetize Fame how you get Fame are can be for different reasons um Caitlyn Clark happened to be just incredibly exciting to watch along with a lot of other
00:33:45
players the WNBA is not it it needs to grow it should be a bigger sport I would say ski in the wake of Caitlyn Clark's Fame and everyone else is going to get
00:33:57
commercials and more Fame right and and actually more money the over you know Michael Jordan lifted up tons of players
00:34:05
that he played with the whole league so um there was a reason she was playing for the national championship and so she couldn't be at the sort of Camp to kind of pick the team I would just make an
00:34:17
exception because the WNBA can really has a lot of room to really grow it's a great League it's really exciting and um it needs it needs more uh more press
00:34:28
more bald-faced stories Caitlyn CL Clark is a huge story because she can hit it from 40 feet pretty pretty often yeah so and she she passes and plays she's
00:34:40
exciting to watch and so are a lot of the other players I don't know we'll talk to Greg Holzman about this after the podcast okay what's the next one oh
00:34:48
this is a guy that does okay hold on start it over ready so basically this guy works at a
00:34:54
carnival and I thought it was funny that when people get on the scariest ride he acts like the ride something's wrong
00:34:59
with it okay now play getting them shoulder straps hold on I got to put them on guys my dummy I'm so dumb I forgot to put the shoulder straps
00:35:17
on hold on it's showing red on your seat belts I got to come check it second I got something wrong with with the chain there's a knot in it hold on let me come check
00:35:32
it how is this possible they freak the [ __ ] out it's so mean not in the [Music] chain one major thing ladies I forgot the shoulder straps let me put them on
00:35:50
he's got a rotation of three bits shoulder straps something wrong with the seat belt put your hands up real quick
00:35:55
so I they all [ __ ] their pants so awesome that's funny I thought it was funny CU I was watching it going oh my God they all go they're already scared like oh those aren't hooked and
00:36:08
you're like oh and then you fall and you're like even you get it well my here's my question not to be a cynic and reain on the prey but how does word not get out around the carnival that there's
00:36:20
a wise guy on top making jokes that's a great question I know I know the answer okay because I'm not a bit Ruiner
00:36:29
I don't know no it's like walking out of it going hey Star Wars Luke's dad is you
00:36:35
know whatever I think these people got [ __ ] and they're like I want the next person I'm not going to say anything I want them to feel the terror that I did
00:36:42
let me ask you a question oh okay do you like no I don't want to be scared in any
00:36:48
way shape or form have you ever been to Magic Mountain yeah real quick I'll tell you
00:36:54
one spoiler I want to hear it more mountain than Magic it's not even close it's all Mountain
00:37:01
little to no magic did you at any time go upside down no when I took my daughter it was just I actually do a whole bit about magic Mount I won't bore you with it here but I didn't go on that
00:37:14
many rides because they were too brutal plus my bad neck coupled with the fact that I'm a colossal puss I couldn't do it and I was glad because I I don't
00:37:26
need the aggravation no I know what you mean but it's have you I've done upside down um things I I don't need it I find life pretty
00:37:37
exciting as it is it's not like man I'm just sitting around not doing anything life's so boring maybe I'll go over
00:37:43
there and have them throw me upside down how do you like my character my neck is tight already did you ever do this one I did
00:37:51
this one with a 12-year-old long story short you get in a room you're standing in a circle and the room starts to go
00:37:57
round and round and round really fast and you're kind of stuck against the wall and then the floor drops round up
00:38:03
is that what it's called I think that's called The Roundup that I have done that gave me a headache and made me
00:38:10
nauseous after that they lead you into the vomitorium which is a different ride where it's anti-gravity and the vomit is
00:38:16
floating and you're swimming in it uh J I hated I hated the vomitorium no that one sounds kind of fun but mhm I did do the Roundup when I lived in Cass Grand
00:38:27
Arizona which is a small copper mining town and it was that it's got to be illegal at this point it spins and then goes like this and then the bottom drops out and you stick to the wall yeah good
00:38:40
God get [ __ ] never again they had one called the back breaker you know and then you're in there and you're going
00:38:46
like you're in some kind of car and it's going like this and your back it's basically a car crash these ones are
00:38:52
like you go 100 miles hour into a pole and everyone's like they have to use the jaws of life to get you out I go why is
00:38:59
people are calling lawyers walking around in concussion protocol I go this is not this isn't the carnival I used to
00:39:05
go to I don't try well carnivals are scary because the the gypsies that come in with 2x4s the day before and try to
00:39:12
hammer together things you know and then you're you're on the hammer you're watching the hammer ride where they put
00:39:17
you upside down and all you hear is all the chain the chains can you do that all the Pocket Change coming out oh I can't
00:39:24
do that one socket r [Laughter] we got to get you some Foley work Fred Wolf used to say he goes I'd start to go up the roller coaster in my town like this it's all jittery because they just
00:39:38
put it together then a guy walks out going is it righty tidy Lefty Lucy just torturing children I went on Space Mountain once
00:39:51
and the the little car is in froze it stop it it came to a stop in the middle of the middle of the ride so the lights come on and it's and play uh please stay
00:40:03
in the car right next to me is a feny ass kind of um dirty wooden floor like 40 feet across with old dusty furniture and this sad weird drunken guy sitting
00:40:15
in the chair and the lights came on and me scurried off little booze nothing grosser than scurrying that that was
00:40:23
Space Mountain space c scurrying [Music] all right did you hear did they have that I give that story about AutoZone you know what that is know AutoZone yeah
00:40:42
yeah with AutoZone one of our great sponsors aut the other podcast oh just that it got rans sacked the other night
00:40:49
people like you know aund people came in and just trashed it I think what they have is there's Street people that broes they stop like a bridge or a city or and
00:41:00
no one's allowed to go and then they go in circles and do broes and donuts and then they always always hit each other
00:41:07
it's so crazy and they're all like up to no good it's really hooliganism at its best but sometimes they move it around like a traveling circus and they go and
00:41:17
then they hit an auto on this trash took everything out it just we got to do something we got to stop that they can't
00:41:22
have that normal society if you were going to do just your comedian peers like and we were gonna do a flash mob
00:41:29
thing for like a CVS or something yeah I mean I was thinking off the top of my head you want Tim Dylan there he's got a
00:41:35
good attitude yeah probably Rogan for the you know strength yeah um then you throw in Rich Little because he could impersonate guard in a
00:41:48
wheelchair no he's he's on fire he's still funny I met him recently had he made a great impression good night no one knows is he really is he still around he was at least a year ago
00:42:00
playing the Laugh Factory in in the Tropicana like every Saturday night at 7 this the early show and he would do a whole you know hour act and he I'm not a
00:42:13
crook I am not a crook he would do Nixon all the hits Carol Jan Nixon yeah Jimmy
00:42:21
store too and then he would sing as Wayne Newton dun yeah it's like you know goes goes back for our okay what's the next story I'm sad about AutoZone go ahead too much crime
00:42:33
but whatever what are we going to oh come on say it again a Brody is when they do a burnout
00:42:41
and they spin like that yeah oh what is this oh this is the end of the Kate and Clark Story this is a
00:42:47
the joke is the guy from the mascot from what does it say oh State Farm is that him yeah yeah he's worming his way and everything
00:43:00
why is he in that Jake from State Farm that's our Caitlyn Clark again is he I mean how what was I looking at Jake
00:43:14
from State Farm in a red suit I don't know why he was in there I guess he's just yeah he's at basketball games he's
00:43:21
really out of the commercials on your TV and out in the real world now I don't know what I would do oh I see so he's
00:43:26
going going out as that character so he becomes a meme he becomes a a collectible pitcher yeah it's not a bad
00:43:33
idea because now you see that Caitlyn Clark whyever he's there and then they go oh that's State Farm so they get a
00:43:38
plug maybe maybe this this is interesting Dana sorry to interrupt this is I I sometimes brush past these
00:43:45
already looks a little scary what he's wearing is one of those puffy Wing suits okay but I don't know
00:43:52
I'm like this guy's going to fall also it's night so I'm already out I don't snow night it's too scary yeah okay now watch what up good
00:44:04
song yeah little little less on the music probably well I don't know what this is I I'm already out I'm out it looks
00:44:15
like it's gone wrong jumps off a goddamn Cliff to some sweet Leonard Skinner look
00:44:22
at how cool that is he's just it's working what that close to the mountain at night at
00:44:34
night he floats up a little bit show off damn isn't that hot I might do that you
00:44:41
know what I might do that Fourth of July um I'm playing a casino in oraville uh next week and they they have it's especially tall room so I'm going to get in touch with that guy maybe come out in
00:44:55
a flying suit that's not a bad idea you could wear I'll send you one of my jod dirt merch shirts that says all the
00:45:01
firecracker names you could wear that with the sleeves cut off now we're doing pretty good though I'm glad people are watching so and listening uh thank you
00:45:08
for coming on Dana thank you for being my guest thank you I'm I'm thrilled to be
00:45:14
on the David Spade show we had a great time keep doing what you're doing man or you're kicking it all right uh we'll
00:45:21
talk soon bye guys thanks this has been a presentation of odyssey Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna
00:45:31
Weiss sperman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman hope you liked it [Music]