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now we can go to the show the truth is Jennifer Lopez if you've noticed and I'm not a conspiracy guy
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she gets married then does a wedding about getting married no she gets married then there's a movie about getting married then gets married then does a movie about getting married
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then gets divorced one more movie about getting married does that sound like it's possible
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um I see we're going with that there's a lot of Magic the oceans you have a PR person you know FYI it
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wouldn't be bad if you were seen dating so and so that's true clicks and Views David I know you think it's romance
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who is Emily Ratajkowski she's on a real terror uh Emily ratatowski yeah get with the
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program Dana she should shorten that to Emily R I think we're out of Tau skis too how
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about Emily the rat that seems kind of mean in a way calling her a rat I'm just saying Ratatouille was cute I turned down the voice of Raditz
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we just stumbled into it I went and visited Pixar they wanted me to do the the lead rats and I said it was a during Bush Junior's Administration during the
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bubonic play a French rat I thought this is gonna go down I don't want to be the guy who took down Pixar next thing you know wow 700 million 700
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M Lane I don't make good choices no um all right we're gonna talk about Jimmy Kimmel first of all how was your
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Christmas oh yeah that's nice uh horrible um no it was bad eyes you know when someone says don't give me anything and then that morning you see the sad eyes I hate that I mean because you didn't give
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him anything yeah no I don't need anything and then you see the sad eyes a lot of people cheat they say no presence
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and then one person does it you said don't give me anything I just said okay yeah we're fine uh my mom does a thing
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uh she does two things first of all she gives you lazy bags which are it's a bag you get at the store with a piece of
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Kleenex and the presents in it and I go this isn't a press this isn't wrapping a present so it's a bunch of lazy bags all
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you have to do is move it accordingly had a name like Lazy Susan lazy Banks yeah I coined it lazy bags that's cool
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and she goes oh it's only lazy bags this year but it's fun fine I'm 88. so she gave me that it was great and then you know my mom was always like oh Davey because when I go home she goes ding
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dong and I go I just stare and she goes get the door and I go oh what okay and she goes I go who is it
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juice who is it I go I don't know Mom it's your house I don't know go check and then it's like the neighbor girl
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who's nine she made me a cake she goes maybe she made you a cake yeah what a homecoming and I go oh that's
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nice why'd you make me a cake because you're famous I go oh okay and then I go and go give her a hug don't be like that invite her in talk to her say
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hi do some jokes from grown-ups on totally on you can't just relax I can't and she goes oh go ride bikes with her and her friends get like this I go Mom I don't
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understand pull your Showbiz routine on us anyway I wonder what my Showbiz routine but Jimmy Kimmel uh you had a good Christmas I'm just gonna yeah it was
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fine and uh I will tell you Dana I heard a lot about this uh Farley episode I heard
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a lot of feedback maybe the most feedback we've heard on anything I think so what does that say all positive by
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the way the most interesting thing was uh we were sent a uh email that gets sent in for the questions the Q a stuff and we had a lot of response about people saying
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it made me quit it made me quit drugs that was very emotional I got some of those yes yeah it was very nice that that was an offshoot of this which was
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not really the intention but it's nice that it hit people home because it was as we we sort of sold it it was 90 fun
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and laughs and then now and then you just got caught off guard and it's very real situation so we got emotional people got emotions
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yeah we tried to treat it with respect and dignity and and not make it so apparently people really liked it so
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that was cool it's very interesting and you know I'm going on my tour uh my tour starts oh
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never ending to her and I'm going to Wisconsin I'm going to Madison where Farley's from I'm going to Milwaukee going to Appleton all the places I had
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heard about and I don't think I've ever performed there so looking forward to that and the others um are you playing
00:04:39
Green Bay I don't think so because I'm trying to Rally Aaron Rodgers out by the way how
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is uh Green Bay I've been there to one game Mike Myers and I back in the day she was touring together and we played I
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think it was Green Bay and they said they said I say it like 60 Minutes not in serious swing we saw in Wayne's World too I I did that bit where Garth is just hanging
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out and he was having a conversation so anyway I didn't know what to say to my dad and a girl or if I swing anyway so
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that was like the only time Wayne and I got in a fight Swing Swing Swing he would hit him like you know boneritis
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but they told Mike and I they love it when you say cheese heads so we're up there as Wayne and Garth and we started going you're a bunch of cheese heads and
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we start chanting it and they started getting really really mad and booing oh they tricked you yeah we had to cut the
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show short jump in a car don't look bath Garth you know don't say Hey you cheese heads even if
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they tell you to as a joke Jimmy Kimmel is going to do a uh that sounded like a hard cut Jimmy Kimmel is going camel
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interview us today he's a friend of the show you've done his show a lot I've done a show a lot of guest hosted he's a
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great dude you've guessed hosted too and um Jimmy um we thought of this weird idea where
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we get all these questions so why doesn't someone interview US it might slow us down from talking over I guess
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in the future I don't think it will I've practiced you know during the holiday break I practice talking over like my
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wife would say something I just jump in you know she goes what are you doing I'm just practicing talking over I know I
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took a cut off class on the Learning Annex and I'd practice it at Thanksgiving dinner I just stop
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everyone in their tracks and go saw a story about me actually the truth is I would listen I
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go during the holiday break you should listen to the podcast every time I talked I said out loud shut the [ __ ] up
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what are you doing if I hear a couple of me on that thing I'm like even when they show those little Beginnings like a
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minute of audio to promote it I go well can I just shut the [ __ ] because the guest goes well I like pancakes and then
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I do seven minutes yeah how I like pancakes yeah before they can answer and then they forget so anyway we never said
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we were good at this we're going into season two with Jimmy Kimmel but people ask how did we go on an SNL what's our
00:06:56
story so Jimmy really asked the tough stuff he digs deep he mines a lot of gold some silver and some sand
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uh up to you to decide he came at it a little different right because we feel like we've told this story on other
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podcasts but he actually really worked hard he had a stack of notes and asked us a lot of intense questions and a lot asks us a lot about hosts which was an interesting take yeah it was at first I
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didn't know if he knew he was interviewing us because it was like he was just sitting there and I go is he because he's being interviewed two
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minutes but I was like ready for the hard stuff and it was really like Prince Harry and Megan here's a tease he
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embarrassed accidentally because I won't say the name of the host you'll listen to it on the podcast of a host of SNL
00:07:42
yes or no that they host and I said no and they had hosted when I was a cast member but I won't say it so you have to listen to find out that was all due respect to that person who I forgot it's
00:07:54
only I spaced out sorry so uh listen to it here it is we've talked enough and here we are talking a little more [Music] foreign
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[Music] how do we start what's our theme Our Guest today is you want me to start
00:08:12
James Edward Kimmel I don't we we've already started we've been on for four minutes oh we have okay well I think we
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should establish that first of all I've never been on Saturday Night Live I've only been to see the show in person one time and that was in May of last year
00:08:30
other times I've been there but I you know get stuck in the office with you know a bunch of agents and stuff
00:08:35
watching on TV up there and nobody's watching the show everybody's just talking to each other and it's depressing but uh did get to go to see
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the show in May so of course I'm gonna guess that people are probably super interested in hearing from
00:08:50
yeah you could be update guy or whatever gosh I didn't you know I don't have I never set my sights that high it never
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ever would have occurred to me yeah I was just a morning radio disc jockey hoping to continue being a morning radio
00:09:06
disc jockey and what what was your handle sorry I was I was known as uh Jimmy they called me Jimmy and did you
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have an animal as a sidekick Jimmy in the bowl or Jimmy and the Tomcat hear it though I was on uh in L.A I worked in a
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lot of markets I started in Vegas when I was in high school then I went to Phoenix I worked at a radio station
00:09:25
there a couple of them then I got a job in Seattle worked at a classic rock station got fired there went to a
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station and I went back to live with my parents for a while then went to a station in Tampa Florida I worked in
00:09:39
Palm Springs Tucson Arizona finally La at K-Rock with Kevin and Bean and I was the sports guy there was Jimmy the sports guy you know it seems like a lot of people on the radio get fired
00:09:50
well especially around you know yeah what a memory maybe the most maybe the most yeah I got fired a lot of times and the worst thing about being fired on radio is you then have to move from the city you don't just like get another job
00:10:01
at another radio station you're pretty much done yeah I got fired a lot too we'll get into that everything I got everything failed and everything sucked but these were probably childhood jobs
00:10:14
that you got acquired from right no this is like television shows and stuff oh yeah okay well I'm not you know what I
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appreciate you guys being interested in me but I'm here today to interview you guys because you guys interview
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all these people about Saturday Night Live and you as far as I understand you guys were on Saturday Night Live now
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I've not done a ton of research but you were what the Jesus Woman Jesus woman was her original name yes right and
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David did you know Chris Farley Jimmy goes I was at one show last year you guys weren't on it I don't get
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what's going on what happened this is a fraud she said well I'm sure that sure is special was her catchphrase oh oh
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yeah yeah I remember that rhythmically not quite good but anyway yes everyone wants to know how do we get on the show
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how do you get on the show how do you get on it now that's what people ask me when I when they're leaving like a
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restaurant quickly how do you get on Saturday live and I go oh do you have an hour 10 because people want those quick
00:11:11
quickly how do you get into acting you get those but for 25 years after being off the show I'd still get even today
00:11:17
are you are you still you're still on that that Saturday Night Live show do you really get well at least for 10
00:11:23
years after yeah sure right yeah wow people don't keep track yeah people do you think people the world revolves
00:11:28
around you and yet it yeah and I told my mom it's pretty obvious that I'm off the show Good night anyway you
00:11:36
um we have a crowd we [ __ ] you wouldn't think a lot of pressure when you've got a crowd with no audience
00:11:41
there's no pressure I know you guys have told these stories before but I think it it seems right to start with how did you
00:11:49
get on the show like we'll start with David how did you based on the show uh I was born in Michigan uh-huh I'm gonna go way back what I was told that had to
00:11:59
happen before I think it takes so many steps uh to get seen by in front of someone like Lauren or his talent people
00:12:05
it was stand up around here at the Improv forever uh Arizona first then stand up around here and then we got to
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uh I think the big thing was I got on HBO young comedian special and when you do that that's something that's that's
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National and then someone in the talent Department saw it and Rob Schneider was on it also so I was in the the you know
00:12:27
Vortex of hey there's about 10 20 people we should maybe look at this year so we
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were brought out for an audition Rob and I did it together and did a stand-up comedy club in New York when you say you
00:12:39
did it together you did individual performances you're working as a team yeah and Rob and I were in a team but we
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uh the same management and we uh we're we're buddies and we knew Sandler we knew Judd appetite we knew a lot of guys
00:12:52
were doing stand up with who eventually you know like Sandler eventually got on pretty quickly after that so we went out
00:12:58
auditioned with another comic and um did okay not great but they were looking at the writing and then they hired us as
00:13:04
writer performers so you submitted a packet of No thank God lord Jesus they were looking at the writing as far as
00:13:10
the jokes that you were doing in your stand-up oh and Dennis Miller told me you don't want to kill too hard sputly it's [ __ ] red flag yeah they want to
00:13:18
mold you a little bit you come in at 11 you know they kind of back off from that like it's a hot plate Yeah Boy Scout
00:13:25
Jamboree all right they don't want you to be a polished Road hack I love doing Dennis because my IQ goes up and my vocabulary is fans she's gonna fly on the wall huh okay that's a catchy
00:13:37
moniker for something everyone loves those ins and no offense David but Dana it seems like it's like your talents
00:13:44
it's very obvious why you got the job I mean because yeah David says stored it yeah you know he's not doing stuff characters you're right it wasn't as easy would think based on my own
00:13:56
personality or insecurity I mean it's a longer story but basically the brass tax was I did a kind of cattle call audition
00:14:04
at the punchline in San Francisco Al Franken was at that one and years later years later like eight
00:14:12
years later he said yeah I uh I kind of blew it I should have taken you you know but I I was just passed over there then
00:14:20
I don't know the exact dates but a few years before I got the show then there was a giant 25 comic Jamboree at The
00:14:28
Comedy Store cattle call no MC five minutes boom boy boom in that original room was like a death room yeah like just who else was there well I remember who I followed at midnight a very young
00:14:42
very energetic Man by the name of Sam Kennison so Sam goes on I mean he literally levitates the room it's shaking it's just scorched Earth
00:14:55
that's Pete kenison probably as good as it's ever been yeah and Sam was hoping to get on Saturday Night Live maybe he
00:15:02
hosted the first season but then then there's like and now and they never got my name right now Dana you know so I go
00:15:09
up there and I die I die of death uh you know well isn't that special I'm trying
00:15:14
to do characters Death Note so that's then that puts me in a depression for two months in those days you didn't you
00:15:21
don't get it even though you were good I I just bombed I didn't you I you couldn't follow Kennison in five minutes
00:15:27
trying to establish a rapport and I felt very very nervous which isn't a good thing so then freakily in 86 they were
00:15:36
casting again because 85 had a rough year and um my management team new Lauren Michaels and so forth and so on and so it came around to me and I go
00:15:49
okay I'm not going to do it at the Improv or The Comedy Store I'm going to do it at igbies on the west
00:15:55
side it's gone now but it was a hundred seat yeah tight packed crowd I'd played there a lot I kind of had a following so okay Lauren wants to see you so I called Rosie O'Donnell is headlining that week
00:16:07
I'd never met her but the owner said Do You Wanna Dana's gonna bring Lauren Michaels can you fit him in so I went
00:16:14
there my wife and I are driving there and I'm as nervous as a human being can be I didn't have the confidence I got
00:16:20
later just thinking oh man this is it you know I auditioned a lot I've been in La a lot and we went to get some gas our
00:16:27
car was out and there was no gas in the gas station we just both remembered that for years we don't have gas here what do
00:16:33
you mean we move gas no gas you know so it's just one of those things you remember when you're scared out of your
00:16:39
mind so I go there I meet Rosie O'Donnell and she seems like her maturity and confidence like she's 50
00:16:45
years old she was completely fully formed just hey what do you want to do so we kind of Drew straws or talked
00:16:52
about it I'll go on first but this time I get 40 minutes with a real audience not an industry audience and so I'm
00:16:59
waiting off to the side just like well let's see let's see what happens and I see I don't know what order they came in
00:17:05
I think it was Brandon tarkov I think Lauren second Brett the head of the network lore Michaels
00:17:12
I'm like [ __ ] and then it's share what share she got a vote because I didn't have enough pressure on me tiebreaker but they walked like from behind a curtain here he is the head of
00:17:24
the network Brandon tarikov and the guy who discovers all comedians Laura Michaels and of course ladies and
00:17:30
Gentlemen please share every evening do you believe remember you know so she's singing it down so anyway I go up
00:17:40
I at that point I had turned down a pilot uh spin-off from Punky Brewster two years before called Fenster hall for thirty thousand dollars I finally said I can't take the punishment anymore
00:17:52
because I was being cast a lot as a cutesy nice 30 grand uh for the pilot wow so then I just did stand up like crazy in San Francisco all over so I was
00:18:03
in pretty good shape I would give my set like a c c minus but Lauren says later I
00:18:09
was always thinking already thinking about how to use you on the show so you'd have to believe that if Brandon
00:18:15
comes to the audition and you know these Executives don't want to go to anything ever and Lauren comes and then they say
00:18:21
to share hey why don't you join us that they probably you probably were in pretty good shape going into that they gave me confidence uh bristine gray Mark
00:18:32
gurvitz Bernie brillstein came to see me a month before this now Bernie if people
00:18:38
are listening now was kind of like a big lovable teddy bear Santa Claus in those days he's probably 50 but he seemed like
00:18:45
the old timer of all time he saw me and I I'd seen people pass me over a lot you know he saw me went we're not even going to give him the cyanide live he's a [ __ ] movie star that was
00:18:58
a direct quote you know but I go I kind of want to be on Saturday Night Live it's only my childhood dream so I got I
00:19:06
had to let go of this management before who didn't want me to do the church lady oh I got stanied Ovation the comedy
00:19:13
magic club they got me in the back room and they said you gotta stop doing the church late it's only five minutes out of a 90-minute set at that point they go
00:19:20
you're coming off gay you're coming off gay what is my name well it's not I mean I guess so they
00:19:28
don't get on TV but anyway I was able to yeah they don't we don't want him around here so they I was able to jettison that
00:19:35
management company that's all right and go with brillstein gray and uh and guritz Brewster
00:19:42
entertainment partners and that changed everything for me and then the bees and then I had to addition another time a week later or something and I thought
00:19:53
Jim Carrey was there I know I met Phil Hartman and we had to go do the audition kind of like they do an 8h it was just
00:19:59
10 people and and me up there doing stick for everybody and Lauren would would kind of tilt you I think to test you do you think those terribly uh tense
00:20:10
situations are hurdles that they want they want to see if you can clear those hurdles because
00:20:15
ultimately you are going to have to be on the show live and you can't melt down in that situation where you're kind of
00:20:21
vulnerable up there and I knew Dennis Miller he was sitting there and Nora Dunn and and Lauren would kind of dig at
00:20:27
you a little bit uh we've seen enough of that do you have anything else you know right in the middle of your audition and
00:20:33
I think it was a test to see when the red light comes on and it's 20 million three two one your life your career your
00:20:40
family all your loved ones counting on you boom can you deliver so you know but if I could it was just from the 10 000 hours in a club Dana actually a different path obviously more built for
00:20:52
snlme um and when he went out his first show was cold opening church and the lead guy in a lot of sketches I was worked in
00:21:03
almost too slowly so it was more frustrating to go year after year writing for these guys writing helping helping writing update jokes getting in
00:21:10
the background so by the time I go on it's not quite as terrifying but still still terrifying but as I'm sure for Dana just that first time even though he's a seasoned performer it's way way
00:21:21
different to this the only thing that really matters more people see that first sketch than your all of your stand-up combined in your whole life
00:21:27
yeah my entry in there was 86 so that was pre-18 cast members so they purged the year before we had John Levitz Phil Hartman myself as the primary men and then we had Nora Dunn
00:21:41
and Jan Hooks the late grade right and Victoria Jackson how many that was it six cases six six main cast members we
00:21:48
had Kevin Nealon as a feature and a Whitney Brown Dennis Miller so then when I got on the first show
00:21:54
that I was there for a month I was at Lauren Michael's house for a month too which is a whole nother story but I
00:22:01
worked on the church lady character but it wasn't I no one knew if it would work
00:22:06
or kill or anything Lauren moved you into his home is that because you were coming off well I got
00:22:14
it's just I'm not saying you are gay but you come off guys see how it feels I don't know it's that thing of like you
00:22:20
know people are gonna wonder and it's good if like they really know where you're coming from what I need a
00:22:26
decorator he I don't know if David spent time I spent a month in Long Island at Lauren's house in in amaganza with with
00:22:33
Lauren and Paul McCartney came over and all the Chevy Chase was there and I would I'd never been on television he
00:22:40
adopted you basically yeah you can you can have Jack's room so I was in where Jack Nicholson would hang out oh you
00:22:47
know I'm calling my friends back in San Francisco I'm staying in Jack Nichols since Paul McCartney and Chevy Chase are
00:22:53
here how are you doing you know wow so so just to go back a couple of steps if I could yes when you guys are like you're talking about David auditioning with Rob who's your friend and you're
00:23:05
auditioning with 25 other people who some of whom I assume are your friends what is it like when you get that job
00:23:13
and then those people you auditioned with and came up with don't you know it worked a little different
00:23:19
for us because I didn't really know anyone who didn't get it um really I met everyone you know got hired online
00:23:26
that's pretty I mean people wanted to get to know David I I was new I was newer in town and just uh you know doing
00:23:33
the Improv and not in The Comedy Store said no to me so I had the Improv and I didn't know that many people were that
00:23:38
were auditioning or got that call like Rob and I did but I knew a lot of comedians but uh there was one he
00:23:45
mentioned Brandon tartikoff who was the most powerful person in town if you remember back then sure he had Cosby Show every Big Show was on and they said
00:23:52
he saw you uh do five one night at the show he wants to meet you and maybe give you a development deal and make a show
00:23:58
for you and I was freaking out I saw Kevin Pollock the day before and he goes this is a huge this will be your biggest break
00:24:04
so they give me sides I don't know if I told you this thing they give me size which is a little bit of a script I
00:24:10
don't even know what sides are and I and so I had to go to a coach and just say hey coach me to read this shitty um
00:24:15
script it's just like one scene they just have to see like I'm in the vicinity of knowing what I'm doing and they're going to give me some money to
00:24:21
try to make a show for me so this [ __ ] uh head of casting was there so it was every big shot of NBC
00:24:28
I'm waiting shaking in the dress you know in the waiting room of NBC and we used to call Brandon uh call them
00:24:35
tartar sauce tartar sauce here I can't wait all day so I'm waiting and then they go uh his
00:24:42
name was Dennis something he comes up and he goes oh they're gonna see you it'll just be a second there's one more
00:24:47
person they're having a meeting with him by the way we're not doing that scene anymore we're doing this one and he
00:24:54
hands me a script it could have been in Chinese I don't know what the [ __ ] going I go what do you mean I read this one and I didn't have any coaching so I
00:25:01
was so new I just walked in and read it to them and then they go thank you and that was
00:25:07
it nothing I got nothing no development deal bad feedback and I had to go in and
00:25:12
do two years of classes because and Rob was in it with me and because I go I don't know enough and I thought I was Eddie Murphy just like oh I'm just funny what do you need really to know and I
00:25:23
knew and I had to do so much just to start getting auditions again [ __ ] Dennis guys
00:25:29
yeah it wasn't Dennis Miller it was Dennis head of casting and I was just it was like slow motion Rory switches of
00:25:37
scripts I look at this one I probably turned it up to an anniversary he's like no it's this way and I'm funny looking back now now you'd go like no I'm doing
00:25:43
the other one yeah no no I know this one but no confidence at all just like you know what you're told I should have
00:25:49
taken the two years of acting lessons I I once read for Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward
00:25:54
for Tonto and son and they would pair us off a gay kid um yes yeah and I was I was with this
00:26:03
really good actress and they paired us off and then I'm you know Paul Newman was so charming and she had a little dog
00:26:09
he had red socks on and I bombed so bad that I ruined it for her I mean it was I can't we walked outside and go that was kind of weird she goes yeah yeah it was kind of [ __ ] weird and then she
00:26:22
got in the elevator you know can I read about someone else I was so bad I destroyed other careers it was not a
00:26:28
good but I did a lot of [ __ ] like that who did you leave behind Dana who was your comedy friend I would say that
00:26:34
Kevin Pollock we did a lot of stand up together you know great Impressionists great actor he the the planet's never
00:26:42
lined up for him but I thought he would be you know they did elsewhere obviously but he's done great yeah yeah but that
00:26:48
that would have been a natural fit for Kevin did you go when you guys were in there were you pushing for your friends
00:26:53
oh no that you felt you could compete or dominate you didn't want to hire anyone that good you didn't want Jim Carrey in there yeah I don't know is that true or
00:27:07
I mean is that is there some truth to that well you have no control over that right first of all I know that it came
00:27:14
down to I think for the final spot you know Lauren as I remember said well maybe um somebody tall like Chevy and I've been living with Kevin Nealon where I
00:27:26
met him before I got on that side somebody tall that's what I remember and I go I know a tall guy not even that
00:27:32
funny just so Rick Overton was right in the lane the great Rick Overton was right there so Kevin flies out and with
00:27:39
his kind of his style he was just standing in his height God was he talking oh still is yeah he's not he's
00:27:47
one of the tallest comedians Lawrence you're hired he hadn't even started doing his comedy we want you because you're tall but anyway then Kevin nailed
00:27:54
it just standing there his stand-up is so casual you didn't even know when he starts or he ends yeah and he killed and
00:28:01
I think Lauren in those days did it a little bit like a sitcom like you don't you want these different flavors like
00:28:07
Phil had his Lane love it's at his Lane I did my thing then Kevin yeah if you have sketches you go okay who's gonna play the dad you know what I mean that's a legitimate thing you don't think of and then you go Phil this is kind of a
00:28:19
dad every time game show host gonna be Phil right if no one else he was the glue we called I think it was my nickname doesn't have to be we called him the glue because he kind of held the
00:28:31
show together he couldn't I called him the sticky stuff I've always had mic Problems by the way when I got there it was me and Robbie and then we were suggesting maybe
00:28:43
writers Fred Wolfe and some other people and then Sandler was I think our first one we kind of pushed because Farley and
00:28:49
Chris Rock came right after us so we did four shows Emerald Dennis goes Dennis is like tough
00:28:55
love Dad he goes and you better get something on or they're going to get rid of one of you dudes I mean [ __ ] you
00:29:01
don't bring a guy back you can't write this [ __ ] I'm like four shows and I thought oh that'll be easy meanwhile you
00:29:06
can't even look like you have a decent scripted read through everyone's like it just stands out as shitty you know until
00:29:12
you know what's going on yeah and you're competing against all these great writers uh so we come we have four then
00:29:17
we do the summer we do come back but when I walk in that's Rock and Farley so now those guys get to be our crew Sandler gets there maybe three months later so about pushing for Sandler I
00:29:31
would just say yeah this guy kills and he does well I didn't know I had barely any influence there but just one more
00:29:36
voice saying he's great and then Sandler sort of parlayed every strong movie has in there you're saying you made Adam
00:29:43
Sandler discovered his career yes we call him Sandu or Sandman yeah [Music] what was it like I still think it's crazy that Adam Sandler was released
00:29:58
from that show I mean is it fair to say he was fired from the show I didn't even know that honestly to like a year ago because when when he Harley and Sandler
00:30:06
were so big on the show yeah did you hear this because I heard he was fired but sometimes I think things just Peter
00:30:12
out like had he done Billy Madison was he kind of on his way he had done big movies and so would Farley it was time I
00:30:18
should have just gone but they were going to something and I wasn't so I said I'm gonna stay another year but
00:30:24
then that felt like I was but you were invited to stay another year and it is it seems so crazy as I was and they
00:30:31
weren't yeah no not that but but that Adam Sandler was on I think he was too big a star and and maybe he got fired for being too big a star I don't know if he got five I don't really know he says
00:30:44
he do you want to get on the mic for a second manager did he get fired or have you heard mark believe he was fired and
00:30:50
uh Farley too but it seemed it seems insane but I'll tell you Adam was a man with a plan from day one I mean he would
00:30:57
even before he started to score on the show he started doing stuff with Robert Smiggle and goes yeah he's a great
00:31:02
writer carvery I'm going to put him in all my movies and I was like what you just got here Adam had for whatever
00:31:08
reason he had Frank Sinatra confidence and I asked him once where did it come from he said my dad would always go to
00:31:15
the Little League game and Adam was a pretty good player but he go his dad would go look at that kid that's a ball player that's a ball player and then his
00:31:23
mom when Sinatra would come on she'd say you're better you're better than Sinatra so he had
00:31:30
both sides if you can try to create someone with that drive and talent but yeah yeah it's funny a lot of comics
00:31:36
they do it to prove their parents wrong but it sounds like I had them had the entire opposite you're not a good
00:31:41
baseball player you're you're a human God I don't know maybe for people out there with a baby one cheerleader
00:31:47
hopefully my my mom was a huge cheerleader and my dad was uh gone anyway Dana um but you don't have any daddy daddy issues my dad unfortunately stayed and
00:32:00
there was a there was a monster in the neighborhood and it was dad my dad when I told him I got a radio job in Seattle which is a big market and this is all I wanted I was in college at the time not
00:32:11
really going to class at all and I said I got a job in Seattle my father said I'll pay you 200 a week to stay here at
00:32:18
home oh wow because he didn't think radio was of course he missed you uh I don't know they just didn't want me leaving the house and uh luckily I said now I think I'm gonna move
00:32:30
on colleagues in there your dad was don't go I'll pay you yeah they'll hang out with me
00:32:35
we can watch TV Jimmy there making 800 a month but you came from a loving secure family all things
00:32:42
considering yes very much that explains a lot yeah yeah well you seem like I don't know a well-centered happy person
00:32:48
we're wounded little clowns I had five years of therapy I need five more I got my powder picked up it sounds like the
00:32:55
human you found you found a real father figure and Lauren who I still can't believe he moved you into his house sit
00:33:01
on my lap he must have taken an extreme liking to you you would sit in my lap I would sit in his lap and we'd be the
00:33:07
puppet can you imagine moving someone you just auditioned and hired into yourself
00:33:12
right now you know he he I guess he did take a liking to me when I first met with him alone in a room he goes but
00:33:20
there was someone here he goes off on things you know with someone you want to have dinner with you know when it comes
00:33:26
to the cast someone who came in I thought they're like really really talented but there was something about
00:33:32
their shoes [Laughter] and I looked out of my shoes I guess they passed the test but he did
00:33:37
literally said I couldn't have him because of those you know high top kids on a grown man don't work has he too
00:33:44
your knowledge allowed anyone else on the cast to live in his home people have gone there for gone there is one thing well I I moved once I moved in there for a month but Whitney would come and go I
00:33:57
don't know if he stayed there Chevy Chase Whitney Brown do you remember him yeah a Whitney Brown really funny
00:34:03
because the night that Paul came there and nervously played a song for us it was Chevy Lauren me and Whitney and then
00:34:11
Paul and Linda when you said Paul you mean McCartney not Schaefer no no people could be either well I thought I'd play a little thing for you I don't know if it's any good you know and he he
00:34:23
leaned into me right as the song Started I guess he had a CD he goes sometimes when you're writing you try so hard to
00:34:31
live up to whatever you end up ruining the [ __ ] this is him saying it to me right as the song goes on so he's very
00:34:37
vulnerable the song plays there's a pause a Whitney Brown goes sounds like Julian Lennon what sounds like Julian Lennon and
00:34:49
Lauren said Paul would still mention that years later this is the fellow who thinks they sound like Julian Lennon is
00:34:55
she gonna be around you know because I'd like to be on the other side of the town oh we're all wounded he couldn't have
00:35:01
said anything sounds like Julian Lennon that's crazy so anyway that happened I went to dinner there once so you know I don't know if you remember this uh Jimbo when we I for Howard I did the Beth's
00:35:14
cat uh oh yes so so Howard and Beth came and and um and Lauren and some people were there uh some celebrities were talking about Howard
00:35:27
and so doing this charity show but I was extra nervous because it was very small and there's a lot of those people and
00:35:33
they don't see me do stand up and it was kind of scary so anyway there's there's Lauren and then there the seat empty they go should we hold for Jack
00:35:39
Nicholson I go oh no he's not coming in the [ __ ] front row is he so they they don't hold now my whole set
00:35:46
I'm like where the [ __ ] is Jack he's missing my Southwest bit and so so then afterwards Lauren goes dinner at the house and I was like oh the one Dana stays that well
00:35:59
Dana's not there right now is he so it was good in this room two years ago so I go over um and we have dinner and uh and then and then and then there's an empty seat again and then Jack does come in yeah
00:36:11
and sit down how was it uh I missed it yes it was two hours ago yeah it passed the meatballs so uh he ate and was very fun so that was my big Lauren
00:36:23
house but it was uh it was a timer on it but he didn't invite you to stay for 29 more days tired just that I have bunk
00:36:30
beds can't you keep the room as you left it like my mother has uh it's like two single beds and one more night came in and he was making the bed it just I want the pillow to sit right
00:36:43
Dana's got a doctor trophy I go Laura you don't have to do this for I feel like I'm your dad you're only 10 years
00:36:50
older than me well it can happen in different countries third world there can be a 10 year old father did you uh
00:36:57
who was better at pitching sketches to Lauren out of us yeah um uh I don't remember really you didn't really pitched him in the in the meeting you know we have all the other writers
00:37:07
so you're really Jordan is there or no Lauren is there it's Monday evening everyone's packed in his little office
00:37:14
and there's usually a nervous host sitting in a chair so it's Lauren and the host facing this way Lauren behind
00:37:19
his desk hosting a big chair everyone is sitting on the floor chairs couches standing jammed boiling hot and then
00:37:27
Lauren just like has a you know certs or a Twizzler and he goes David anything for Tom Hanks and then he just goes through and then you go oh and you have a little legal pad and you go I was
00:37:39
thinking maybe you're you know you play Sully but you're just uh it up do you work harder on the Tom Hanks pitches than on let's say Kyle McLaughlin well I
00:37:50
always do fake pitches because right because if you pitch it in the room and then the idea the bubble's been burst
00:37:56
you want to save it for real all strategies it would be like I'm gonna be a dancing popsicle with John Lovitz and
00:38:01
we sing a song you know and that's just a fake and then people laugh and then you go that's the fake one but then sometimes the host comes around your
00:38:08
room later and goes are you are you the one working on the dancing popsicle bit and you go oh uh no and they're like I
00:38:15
love that you're like that was a [ __ ] thing there you go Michael Jordan relax yeah you're not gonna play it were you
00:38:21
guys both there when Michael Jordan hosted the show oh yeah was he in that Monday meeting yeah he had it was there
00:38:27
did the whole the whole run of the whole thing was there uh were there any buffer people who are like oh no yeah Michael's
00:38:33
not going to do that Michael will do that or is it just might remember are the buffer people allowed in those meetings because we deal with tougher
00:38:40
people a lot sure and the buffer people often demand uh do a disservice to the the people who are who need to get the laughs on the show like where they never hear the actual idea yeah they never
00:38:51
hear it turn down before it gets to them you can't do that because he was divorced in 1975 and you're like this
00:38:57
doesn't really have anything to do if you think it's funny let him decide well the really fascinating thing for me that week with Michael Jordan was that you
00:39:03
know it's a fish out of water the greatest player ever but he's got a lot of sketches and we're about to go out in
00:39:09
the live show in a sketch and he's got some heavy dialogue and you're behind the slats the band's playing the
00:39:14
audience is there and I could tell you know he had the script in his hand for last minute jamming and I could tell he
00:39:21
kind of had cottonmouth it was a little tense I said Michael just go out there and read it right off the cue card
00:39:26
Christopher Walken does it don't even worry about that and it kind of trying to calm Michael Jordan down about
00:39:32
anything was it unique such as sting too sting would be like how's my hair we're going into an elevator sketch how's it
00:39:38
now I like staying in here love that now it looked better before [ __ ] but um who
00:39:44
is the most nervous of the hosts Rosanna Arquette Rosanna Arkansas most nervous she was a good animal she was great but I remember you'd hear that someone was
00:39:55
sobbing somewhere yeah and whatever host full nervous breakdown was broken down with Steven Seagal you would just go by his office and you just hear you all you'd hear is ah
00:40:06
some woman having an orgasm no that's all you'd hear you'd go by and come out and fluff up I hope there was a woman in there I think sometimes Friday night is the night to collapse if you were even
00:40:19
on the show even when I went back to host Friday night is the night when the hosts go you're joking the sets aren't
00:40:24
even all built yet and all the lines are different from read through we haven't even rehearsed all of them once the show
00:40:31
is tomorrow and that's if they cry or have a breakdown because they go we can't do this and everyone's like but so
00:40:36
rarely it seems like it should happen more oh every almost every Saturday night especially the dress shows would
00:40:42
go longer and longer where you're still doing the practice show it's like 10 45 and the real show goes on 45 minutes I
00:40:49
go if they're going to put up an old movie tonight we're never gonna make it this is the worst when you start hoping
00:40:56
for an earthquake or something anything preemption of some kind Jim Downing had such add he would write really really
00:41:03
well like at 11. like right outside the office he needed to get right he needed to be no you
00:41:09
cannot procrastinate for one more second you give you five gems it like or they'd say it's it's in the cards when you're
00:41:16
going on to a set it'll be in the card so you're gonna live right that's how I order dinner I do I look at the menu and
00:41:21
everybody orders they come to me last I'm like oh okay I'll have the Branzino I have to order now yeah the time's up
00:41:27
yeah some of these people though I'm looking through a list of um some of the people who hosted the shows when you
00:41:33
were both on and um some of these people like have no business hosting a show like
00:41:40
this I mean really I think this might have been right before you were on David but George Steinbrenner hosted the show
00:41:47
with Morris Day and The Time combos like that Steinbrenner is a New York institution and that's what Lauren if you're New York Centric someone from a play can get it he loves New York and
00:42:01
his friends are from New York so he likes to go we got you know the lead from but there was a run there where we
00:42:07
had here's the secret of the show in my opinion I figured it out yesterday uh when it's good it's good when it's bad
00:42:19
it's good so you're watching this billionaire owner of a baseball team try to do sketch comedy and he sucks not his
00:42:26
fault I find that really compelling to watch live and watch people do you find it disheartening when Kim Kardashian is on and she's funny and you go oh okay where are we now I mean I saw
00:42:39
her monologue and said what the [ __ ] yeah like what are we are we ventriloquist puppets yeah well here's
00:42:45
the thing when you when you become that famous and your comedy bit is all about the entire audience knows what you're talking about but she landed that beautifully and Chris Rock did say
00:42:58
monologue of the year about Kim Kardashian yeah it was really good it was just crushed also it's out
00:43:04
of nowhere so you get extra points yeah because she scored so hard a part of me did die yeah right yeah that's kind of
00:43:10
what I don't like about what those celebrity roasts became because it went from being a bunch of comics goofing on
00:43:17
somebody they presumably knew two famous people reading lines a bunch of um mean
00:43:24
comedy writers handed to them meanest angriest comedy right yeah yeah the meanest thing what I don't like about
00:43:29
that show but I Jeff Ross is the show's kind of brilliant right but I want to be
00:43:35
like Jeff Russ yeah this is he's a master master but I watch it and I'm like hahaha the person who's being
00:43:41
roasted is hahaha with relaxed eyes kind of and then at some point you see the shot where there's wounded pain yeah behind whoever is being roasted you meet Chevy right you're talking about Chevy
00:43:52
was the original he was the fountain wasn't he the one where I watched and I said oh these guys don't even know him
00:43:58
and it was it went from Denmark of them knew him where it was fun and they were like Don Rickles would go Dean we've
00:44:04
drank together and they do a little joke it was like sometimes you wake up and your hair looks messy and then everyone's like ah but it got so rough
00:44:11
over the years but they don't know each other so you just Chevy's looking down at some guy he doesn't know and they're like hey you [ __ ] [ __ ] look over
00:44:17
here and they're like are you talking to me and then you're like how are these people have any business talking to a huge star like this and then really
00:44:24
taking their legs out well yeah although I think it made me love it says something about the person when his
00:44:31
friends who are funny don't come to Russ roast him so uh maybe it means like they're like oh man I he's not going to take this well or maybe they're just like I don't know have you been roasted
00:44:41
or do you want to be roasted no no I've roasted but I have not been roasted but you always get roasted while you're in
00:44:47
the vicinity yeah if you're in the room and I've done like five or six of those you get roasted and uh yeah sometimes I
00:44:54
mean sometimes you get like like uh I don't know uh uh Jeff Ross was in the elevator with Drew Carey and uh Drew said uh it was one of the early early roasts he goes so who's who's on
00:45:05
the who's roasting tonight and he goes uh or it was the night before he says uh uh Jimmy Kimmel Adam Carolla and Drew
00:45:12
Carey goes anybody funny and Jeff of course reported this to me immediately and I stayed up all night riding the
00:45:17
most vicious Drew Carrie Jones I mean I I played him I tore his skin off his body
00:45:22
is success that's why he was like Jesus Christ because he didn't know where it came from he's probably just joking you know that's I remember old Pam Anderson when I go she asked me to do it and I
00:45:34
said yeah I'll send a video I was the roast Master okay I think I sent a video in because I I uh changing my life I
00:45:40
think I think I sent a video in because I go I don't know in the room I just don't really be there because you get caught in the crossfire and I think that
00:45:46
was one where they go speaking of anal warts Andy Dick is here in the spotlight goes he's like what the [ __ ] I'm in the
00:45:51
audience I don't know I could get it I was in the parking garage speaking of when you're talking about Saturday Night Live and how one guy has to be the dad one person has to be a mom
00:46:08
Etc um that's kind of how those roasts are in that like you know somebody's got to be the [ __ ] someone's got to be old
00:46:15
somebody's got to be over you know and who is the mic dropper of consistently I mean normally McDonald got famous for going against it with his corny jokes which was hysterical but Ross is the
00:46:26
ultimate right yeah she's like he's the roast Master Martha Stewart got some good ones in on that one rose yeah but
00:46:31
that's annoying right I mean she did she doesn't remember any of those jokes they
00:46:37
were recipes you say this yours yeah the context of it some of these people um Jimmy Smits and world party were on was I there for that Spade's first episode that must have made quite an
00:46:51
impression on you I remember you're skilled it was good I don't remember tons about that one most shows is is uh
00:46:59
really depressing because you go to read through my first read through I did Life Alert I wrote it for Jan Hooks I didn't
00:47:04
know you should probably put the host in I just thought you can write for the cast The Host you learn later if the host isn't got a better chance just
00:47:11
because the host is partially picking uh so I write it for Jan Hooks who is like a host because she's so great and uh it
00:47:18
was like a an old lady that was sad because Life Alert she was lonely so she keep calling Life Alert
00:47:25
I've fallen I can't get up then they come over and she goes I put my hand in the toaster and it's on dark hurry and
00:47:32
so they uh anyway then she just wanted to hang out with them so it does it was fourth in read through which is another
00:47:37
thing early in read through out of 44 sketches is good you have attention for about 10. yeah and then people doze off
00:47:43
into like the last one they wake up so fourth is good it gets a lot I'm a new writer it doesn't get on it gets close
00:47:49
and then after that I kind of really whiffed I had to have Conan otaker smile I keep asking him on how do I write this
00:47:55
how many are too many sets to write the script is 48 pages long they're like no no it's got to be tighter so I'm just
00:48:02
free balling I don't know one thing it helped you the most the most with editing you know those guys uh you know
00:48:08
Rob and I would sometimes write together and then um we were both you know don't know [ __ ] so we're freshmen and then I
00:48:14
would say Downey you wanted his attention the most uh Smiggle oh Odenkirk and and uh you
00:48:21
know Jack Handy wrote so brilliantly but it's so different take a bath on Sunday and be all done and you know and I can't
00:48:27
go there he wouldn't these are these are you know the the Turners are there who are great everywhere you turn is is a
00:48:34
great writer slash competition because x amount of sketches get on I can't be if
00:48:40
I get one in this [ __ ] miracle and then you got Mike Myers writing and Dana Kevin Neal and Dennis everyone around
00:48:45
you Sandler Farley so rock I how can you be as good or better and that's that took a long long time so I did some of those early shows the point was um long story longer I just if I wasn't
00:48:57
in after read through you're sort of done I'm a writer mostly so I'm just walking the Halls while people are very
00:49:03
busy around me and that's crushing I love the athletes and the old movie stars the most really Robert Mitchum and I were in a Jack Handy schedule is right before the show ends and neither of us
00:49:14
had any idea what the sketch was about we were beekeepers and Indonesia or something that was really cool with
00:49:20
Wayne that's a very different to say I could see totally you loving the old movie stars but then it's it's weird
00:49:26
that you loved also the guys who are real amateurs well well Gretzky was so Charming so Canadian charm and so yeah
00:49:34
we're sitting in a sketch where we're playing movie stars um we're rehearsing and we're we're
00:49:39
Hollywood people advising Gretzky how to play hockey better and um I was Travolta you have a thing like everybody the whole team just runs at the net she said but it goes right at
00:49:50
the net you know you were barbarino that was my substitute yeah and I did it once
00:49:55
on stage in Denver I'm going you're going like that and then he he was there and came and tapped me on the shoulder
00:50:00
an impression tap was he wearing the pilot outfit yeah he had just hold the whole look on Gretzky and I had a sketch
00:50:08
that was that we were going to be water skiing with our shirts off at the end and so I was just teasing he's a great
00:50:14
athlete I just go well you know because I I was training at that point for a movie called Opportunity Knocks as I had
00:50:20
to have my shirt off so I was pretty fit but I was just kidding him like well our shirt is going to come off we'll see
00:50:25
what you got you know kind of thing right so then I thought he'd be just built as professional athletes so he'd
00:50:30
take his shirt off and he's just emaciated on top I look like Schwarzenegger compared to him he's just
00:50:36
all legs as a hot as the greatest hockey player there's nothing on top so that was that was a little thing that happened yes athletes bodies have
00:50:43
changed so never taunt an athlete to take their shirt off because you might be more fit than that yeah yeah I know
00:50:48
wouldn't that be the worst I don't see that happening to me um being more fit than an athlete or
00:50:54
even um Robert Mitchum for that matter how would you um handle watching yourselves on the show did you watch yourselves on the show and if so when did you do it did you like set the VCR
00:51:05
on Saturday night and then go home and watch it on Sunday couldn't watch it never wanted to watch it David
00:51:11
I'd watch Dana um no but day uh Dana that you you could learn from these guys for sure I I sort
00:51:18
of had to figure out my own lane of uh what I did and um I would watch and watch yourself and say that you would
00:51:25
watch yourself watching myself was tough because it's terrible you could get a VCR I
00:51:31
still can't listen to my own standup I can't watch the specials you just do it and you walk away and you say I hope I'll just go by feedback people like it
00:51:37
it works or didn't I feel this one worked I feel this was soft and then you'll just go from there and try to get better but with um
00:51:48
I don't even know what I'm saying well if you if you continue to watch your blocking or you had something you're curious about but I just wanted to feel
00:51:55
good out there and I didn't want to go Oh I thought it was better than that but our friend John Levitz I guess he wouldn't mind saying that he did enjoy
00:52:02
on Monday get a VHS tape he's on the 17th floor down the hall and he would watch all of his sketches and just laughed so loud you'd hear John
00:52:12
that's great I want to see it again he had an assistant rewind it rewind it more I want to see my entrance but you could say that was good good
00:52:25
homework for John and he was obviously one of uh our all-time greats great yeah so uh he loved to watch himself the best
00:52:31
thing is when you get if Farley comes off stage and you go ah [ __ ] that crowd he goes what the [ __ ] dude I killed
00:52:37
that's not your fault he goes well what are you talking about my most humiliating one which I never watched
00:52:44
was we me and Matthew Broderick we were all in diapers like we were like babies on the show on the show a sketch with
00:52:51
big diapers bare chested with Bonnets and suckers and I don't even remember what the sketch was I like it but we just ate it I mean dead silence and then
00:53:00
the commercial break we're still in the diapers and the thing we have to walk through the crowd and I I kind of waved
00:53:05
at the couch and they looked away they looked down that stinker they want to be waveman yeah hey what's up I'm in
00:53:12
the diaper in the Bonnet there are certain things in comedy bits that it's funny because they're based on other
00:53:18
comedy bits and I think the Bonnet is one of them it's based on like cartoon no but we think of like okay yeah your baby you're gonna be in a bonnet and yeah yeah yeah he doesn't protect you
00:53:32
from the Sun it doesn't do anything it's like a a like a hair band I don't know but we were in Bonnets and diapers
00:53:41
[Music] did you ever go completely blank and I know there are cue cards and by the way
00:53:47
I do want to ask you something because one thing that has bothered me consistently about Saturday Night Live
00:53:52
for like I don't know the whole run of the show is the placement of the cue cards because so often like the you'll
00:53:59
be sitting at the anchor desk or whatever and facing forward because that's where the Cucumber you're
00:54:04
supposed you're supposed to be having a conversation with the person to the right of you why doesn't the cue card guy just move over a little bit make it
00:54:11
just a tiny bit more natural yes calm down that was on my notes that I was going to ask a day what the [ __ ] was with the cue card placement am I the only one
00:54:25
noticing it's a big problem people people think you're too married to the cards they used to say so Wally our card
00:54:31
guy maybe he's still there he would you'd have three sets ideally but sometimes you all have to decide where
00:54:37
you're going to look at the cards because if you go back and forth from the person the cards that's when it looks weird on camera well hold on
00:54:44
there's two things there's update forward and then sketches so go on about the sketches it's different I don't know
00:54:49
but but update you're looking like if Dennis is update host or kneeling and they look over to me there's I think there should be some over there but it's not looking at me it's it's all you kind
00:55:00
of grab them with your eyes and try to guess but it's very hard because if you miss and you also forget what color you are if
00:55:07
I'm green and I go they go oh you go am I agreeing what were you I was red I think they have different colors and the host is always oh and it's not consistent right yeah yeah because on our show on my cards are now we use
00:55:19
teleprompter are black yeah and then Guillermo's blue and then that's all of us there's only two people
00:55:27
he's funny the cue cards where you tell you what the eyesight was like not to pick on John again but like I'd have like 10 lines on my cue card and John would have like two and the letters would be like a foot high yeah because
00:55:39
you need to go but he didn't want to wear them in the sketch but I would say that in sketches if I'm looking at you
00:55:46
directly I can kind of go well I don't know and look look over my shoulder and grab grab the line from behind me as
00:55:52
well still was the best at this an update I thought there was one pivoted but generally speaking you don't want to
00:55:58
get in a profile with Dennis Miller you want to stay forward why is it possible well because there's no camera well
00:56:06
because the great thing about you're in the center of the studio there's an audience there you want to just face forward I would do grumpy old man or
00:56:13
characters where I was just going to rant and so I just went right at the cue cards that's why I was so potent about
00:56:18
it right Sandler was great at that with his guitar and everything did you ever see anyone read someone else's line on
00:56:24
the show a cute a line on the cue card that was not affordable well when you would be in toonces the cat it was a
00:56:31
driving cat it was a cat sure with Victoria Jackson who's adorable but you know she'd often she'd often just space
00:56:38
out like I'd say my line oh where are we gonna go in her line would be we'll get there pretty soon three two I'm just
00:56:44
kicking her leg five six oh oh we'll get there pretty soon so she would adorably
00:56:50
space out yeah I remember one time we were walking out for my first sketch I wrote and Farley would do jokes are on
00:56:56
the set you know how are you you know you just do stupid [ __ ] and then one time he said uh I told this girl won't
00:57:03
you lay me down in the tall grass and let me do my stuff I go okay let's put that in there and then we were thinking
00:57:09
of stuff for him and then he goes I swallow a lot of aggression along with some pizzas or something whatever so we
00:57:15
put that in there because he was like the chubby guy in the sketch shockingly and then we're walking out on air not
00:57:21
dressed and he goes I go remember say that one just like you said it Bob and he goes yeah it's your stripes I go
00:57:29
what's up he goes that joke was in Stripes I go that joke was in stripes and he goes David it doesn't matter and he grabs me really hard it's all guilt
00:57:40
David it doesn't go three two and I go what do we do so he just does it and he's looking at me like like holds his face like because I go
00:57:50
you and then afterwards I go you waited all [ __ ] week and he goes I think we had a week we
00:57:57
wrote it he waited till it was live D anything it's like they can't trace it back to me I go I think they can I think they watched it I gotta take the
00:58:10
fall I know he goes you're the writer I go this is crazy listen to this lineup uh
00:58:17
week to week to week Steve Martin and James Taylor huge this is Anna this is to me this is it's as good as it gets uh
00:58:25
followed by Rob Morrow and Nirvana I remember followed by Chevy and Robbie Robertson and Bruce Hornsby and then the next show is Susan day and
00:58:37
CNC Music Factory and then Jason Priestly a decent teenage man let me tell you something Susan day had one of the best sketches I saw it the other day someone twittered it to me it's it was
00:58:48
The Partridge Family Battle of Vans versus The Brady Bunch and it was an AllCast sketch so she's Lori Partridge
00:58:54
and we are uh everything I was David Cass yeah we had all the wigs on everything and it was just like this epic sketch barley was Reuben Kincaid written by Melanie hotzel did you write
00:59:05
that well yeah that was her idea yeah she played Jan she played Jan Brady at at you know right on the real live Brady Bunch yes she brought that character to
00:59:17
the show so it was that was a Killer's catch Susan Davis cool the best I told Dana that I when I watched it I was the
00:59:22
drummer I didn't know I was in it you know and uh I'm in the drummer I go where the [ __ ] am I because Sandler's up there he's like it's time for a change
00:59:29
she was Peter Brady and so and then I hear my voice a second on the drummer and then I go they don't even have a courtesy cut to me it's just like a wide shot in here hey guys we gotta start
00:59:40
rehearsing and I go [ __ ] pan over do something move all the way so I see myself inching my head around Danica hi
00:59:48
there like just because I go which camera's got a red light I got I gotta have someone back in Arizona no I'm on
00:59:54
and in this I would move I got blacklisted from The Tonight Show because of Susan day why because of
01:00:00
Susan day because of Susan day do tell not directly but we're doing a Carson's that week and she came on as Susan day and it was written I didn't write it I
01:00:11
don't want to say it but it was written that Johnny didn't realize the Partridge Family wasn't still on the air like so
01:00:18
uh how's that show going for you is that Danny Bonaduce he's a real piece of work isn't a handful and that did and I don't
01:00:24
blame did not sit well with Johnny Monday after that show he didn't reference it but he said Ed there they
01:00:31
think where she now did you know that I think we're Chino it's time to go so anyway that was kind of did that bum you
01:00:38
out yeah I didn't want to I I loved Johnny Carson and I didn't want to be most of my stuff was benign and friendly
01:00:44
I love being in that character because of the earnestness of it but carcinia was a truly um I mean it was a somewhat
01:00:52
brutal parody of two different people at once which you don't ever I don't know has ever happened so Johnny recognized
01:00:58
and said that to Leno you know they're making fun of Arsenio as much as they're making fun of us so he was smart he got
01:01:04
it okay but the senile thing was a bridge too far so I I wasn't asked back but before that I was on a show all the
01:01:10
time you know and I was on the best of every year I do a montage come on right he's
01:01:16
dead to me Dad and he said to me you know um Jimmy I when you look at that list it made me realize that when from
01:01:22
when I started and every Monday meeting when you go in there it was a weird thing that I would
01:01:27
think some people had a star thing like you would see them sitting in a chair and they would talk the way they handled themselves I literally walk out of there go that's a [ __ ] movie star like it
01:01:38
hit me and some people were just blank to me like they just got on that week they didn't have names I
01:01:45
know I don't want to say anything who are the movies I will say the movie stars uh you know like a Sharon Stone is
01:01:50
easy Stone that's easy she comes in dressed up gorgeous sits there knows how to handle herself there's uh my second
01:01:56
show or third show was Alec Baldwin's first black turtleneck I just watched Hunt for Red October he's a star I come
01:02:03
and he's got blue eyes black hair and he's like how's it going nice to everyone super cool
01:02:08
everything about it he was into the comedy he would go pitch ideas with people I just go this guy's he's a movie
01:02:14
star yeah the Hazel blue eyes like weird blue eyes and just super built like you
01:02:19
know and now and then someone would come by and you you know they're the fourth lead on Melrose Place you know all right but you know they were okay and they
01:02:26
were they did fine they did their best and I think Laura Leighton I don't even make fun of Laura Leighton but we weren't getting the biggest stars for a
01:02:33
year there I remember there was a year where we started sagging where uh you know that show oh that person no Gray's
01:02:39
Anatomy they play the janitor uh well the gender's friend that guy's hosting and so you go oh so it's not quite who
01:02:46
you think it would be from that show right and then we picked it back up again but there's there's people that
01:02:51
you see that you go I get it there are some people that are it's it's that's one of I think this would be a
01:02:57
great game did they host SNL or not now obviously you guys have a an advantage but um I don't know okay here's one and well you should know because you were a lightning round yeah did Sinbad ever
01:03:09
host Saturday Night Live I'm gonna say no because it's so obvious he should have I don't uh and I'm gonna
01:03:18
say yes and you were on that show with me oh Jesus was I Dennis Miller Jimmy goes Dennis Miller goes I was on [ __ ] Star Search with Sinbad we go to the final round
01:03:30
and uh I'm doing I'm doing my best quality high-end material Sinbad gets up there and goes yeah we have Underpants so big and old it's just a rubber band four stars you're moving on yeah two and
01:03:44
a half gone what the [ __ ] just happened he knows you know what that's funny I mean it can be a rubber band Booty's so
01:03:51
big it drags in the sand that was his closer Booty's so big drags in the sand behind her oh I did a corporate with him and he [ __ ] blooming he destroys it one time I was doing this theater I don't remember where in the you know the
01:04:03
stage and right before I went out go Sinbad crushed here last week I couldn't believe it did he do local references oh
01:04:10
he did all of them you know my first ten moved in here a month before but yeah you don't want to follow Sinbad that
01:04:15
kind of go ahead keep going Tony Orlando I'm just gonna say yes now because I don't know I think we had Dawn hosting
01:04:20
when I was there Rob Morrow was on Northern Exposure yeah right he was it was a big deal it was it
01:04:34
was Nirvana I remember Nirvana I remember Kurt Cobain sitting in the hall with Courtney Love out of the dressing
01:04:40
just sitting in the hallway by the page desk and they camped out there so you just walked by getting ready and they're
01:04:45
just there fiddling around I go okay do you have much interaction with the musical guests because at our show
01:04:50
there's much more interaction with the um celebrity guys than the music you your music when I go to the show on your show and I like the music they're at a stage away usually right yeah there's a
01:05:03
satellite there's two there are two different stages to see them but with this you're allowed to talk to people
01:05:08
they don't I'm sure they don't love it but they don't know everyone's they treat everyone like they're important they don't know that I'm some [ __ ]
01:05:14
new writer but what you can go watch rehearsal during dinner and they do their songs and then they go eat dinner
01:05:20
so I did set and I with Nirvana both times because they were younger I was newer and didn't know much the first
01:05:28
time they came on same with Pearl Jam second time knew them all better liked them all better very interesting everyone's sort of on the same playing
01:05:35
field and cool to each other um so we had a great time now one time I think cranberries were there this is stupid but yeah Marcy Klein was there and they didn't sometimes they don't do
01:05:46
their hit song and you get frustrated right yes and so there's a deal with the record I don't know it's above my record
01:05:53
so I I just stand there watching them and I'm like [ __ ] they're not doing linger and I go all right so I watch and
01:05:58
then the Marcy goes do Langer but they're recording it and so she just goes she's smoking she's like do linger and they were just rehearsing so the guy
01:06:09
goes deity you know starts playing it and then she's like fine you know the singer she's Irish yeah but her Irish I
01:06:16
didn't know it but she it came through because she goes she was kind of walking through it if you and she's like
01:06:22
it's just your attitude it's tearing me apart it's hurting every day I was like oh she's Irish like I never heard it in the real song yeah but when she was half-assing it I go I love it more oh
01:06:35
yeah and then and then Marcia gave me a cassette of that she goes we taped it I was like oh [ __ ] yeah so you they should
01:06:41
do the best of not even dressed the rest of rehearsal the best of force yeah so if you're a fan of a band because I had
01:06:46
a guy who was a bob shrug was his name Eric Clapton fanatic so then he comes out to New York he's in the bleachers
01:06:52
and Thursday you're seeing Eric talking talking to his band he's playing the song he's doing this song it's hours of
01:06:58
immersive stuff into the your idol so that just changed his life and then when he came back in the show on Saturday
01:07:03
Eric Clapton he walked by he was on 8 8 and Eric remembered his name you know hello Bob how you doing you know so
01:07:10
that's just a really intimate thing what about for you guys musically now obviously Paul McCartney
01:07:17
but getting on he was doing um was an old man or something one of his incredible and I was I was done with the show that night I went to the side and was watching him in a chair playing
01:07:30
10 feet away you had you have moments like that where you're kind of like damn this is a terrible show would you have
01:07:35
bands that then started playing at the after party did that happen regularly I think Clapton it was good night and then I think he played another 20 minutes and I know
01:07:47
that McCartney did I wasn't there for that one didn't McCartney do an extra concert McCartney when he was on our
01:07:52
show did 17 songs shut the [ __ ] after the show after the show God kill 17 songs and the next one is that Justin Timberlake was on the show and he was
01:08:04
not feeling well and he comes to me and he goes and we were like you got to do you know
01:08:10
we closed down the boulevard we're like you got to do at least five shows there's a lot of people songs you get a lot of people out there and uh he's like
01:08:16
I said he goes how many did McCartney I said 17. he's like [ __ ] he's like six seven years younger there's only one McCartney is that the best though when they seem to enjoy what
01:08:29
they're doing because so many times that's not the case and so many times you see them they're reading their lyrics off a teleprompter and you go I
01:08:36
know the words to this song how is it possible that you don't I I I told Dana that when I have a long story about it
01:08:42
but uh in my hilarious stand-up back but I went to one on Netflix now what's the name of it that one's out but that's for
01:08:48
the new one what's the name of your Netflix what is it hey hey what's it called [Laughter]
01:09:04
so I do this Haiti you know the the short versions I do one of those Sean Penn Haiti benefits where you know you
01:09:10
bid on things yeah right it's like Justin Bieber in a hot air balloon right you know that's like always really good hey win a rocket ship to Mars with Elon
01:09:18
Musk I'll do that you know that sounds fun but everyone's rich and it's a lot of peer pressure and so I see tickets to
01:09:24
McCartney front row and Springsteen and I go this is this is I got my something I would do yeah so they go it might go
01:09:30
to the estimate was 10 grand so I tell my table I've had little couple knocks in me I go loud mouth soup I go hey uh I
01:09:37
might bid on this one it might get up might buckle up and they're like is this guy with you so I'm just talking to
01:09:43
people that I have money and then they go so I have my paddle up and and Sean's smoking on said she goes
01:09:49
all right the McCartney tickets are here we go and he goes I put my thing up he goes starting at 50 000 I go what the
01:09:54
[ __ ] and they go spade and I go no no I go wait uh it on this it was gonna go increments like it would go like a thousand and there would be an increment and then I would go and what's going on the increments and he goes 50 and it's
01:10:07
and they're all looking at me and I go no it's just funny that it's 50. I don't care about the money I just think it's funny and then they go 60 over here 70
01:10:14
80 speed I go all right well give me a second um it was 50 and I'm I mean talk about a
01:10:20
markup I think because I'm like the face value is probably 100 500 let's say and then I go that's
01:10:25
okay so yeah and you know you could have gone to that for free sure and I'm like trying to be a great guy and I'm like
01:10:31
actually I don't even know gun to my head where Haiti is on the map I'm just I'm like there was an earthquake but was it that bad and then and then they go
01:10:37
and everyone's DiCaprio's like who's the Chiefs game like 80 80's great and then they go 90 100 speed I go it hasn't been
01:10:43
one [ __ ] second it hasn't it's a pinball raising your past yeah I'm like this he keeps asking me because I'm
01:10:49
spending put your paddle's up like that no it's down yeah probably the only person whose name
01:10:56
he knows in this auction so you really have a disability I see Charlie he's glaring I go I'm getting it that's a
01:11:01
hundred it's zero to me 100 is literally zero so then he goes the biggest [ __ ] scam in the business is I go I'm at 100
01:11:08
and then they go 125 and I go to my table nobody [ __ ] move this is gonna go away in a second someone's gonna bid
01:11:13
I'm off the hook and then he goes Spade I go no no I'm the 100 I won 125 I go this is illegal and then everyone goes Spain Spain I go 125 so I
01:11:26
won that and I fixed Haiti the good news is Haiti is fixed and Sean Penn is your
01:11:31
best friend yeah I mean and then I walked out of there like a bomb went off I was like and they get over there and they go Amex
01:11:37
the biggest scam is when they get you all the way to the top and then they go okay we're gonna give away three of
01:11:43
these yeah especially when you're the one you know doing it it's like oh really I gotta
01:11:48
have dinners with three different parties okay all right I'm an [ __ ] McCartney and and you get to go to
01:11:54
rehearsal stuff and then uh I didn't really want to get up in this Grill and I didn't tell them when we interviewed him because I felt bad but uh I felt
01:12:01
like he'd want to pay me back um so I uh and then I met him and he was super cool that night so but I don't
01:12:07
know if he even knew I think he was just being nice and hurt I asked to meet him and then did you guys do that thing with
01:12:12
Paul McCartney where you you didn't talk about the Beatles to be um respectful well that's that's still something I have nightmares about when we interviewed him on this show uh-huh I
01:12:25
didn't I'd send an email to him you know just sort of to his assistant saying well Pro assuming he doesn't want to come on maybe he doesn't want to talk about the Beatles you can talk about your friendship with Lauren and when
01:12:36
you're on SNL so I went in with that notion and we were trundling along and at one point I brought up get back and
01:12:42
then we were into the beatle the documentary and that's all he wanted to talk about that's the funny thing is I think people and I think most people
01:12:49
probably you assume yeah he doesn't he's talked about the Beatles to death or whatever but he does he's no problem
01:12:54
talking about the Beatles Because I think he wants he knows you want to hear about that he's very unselfish of him to
01:13:01
like yeah tell you things about he's talking about John I mean you don't want to ask about John you don't ask about things that might make him feel weird
01:13:07
yeah well you know that I'm sure because with Farley and and by the way zero people have a problem with it well zero
01:13:14
and they go like this really remember who's that guy that died that you were really good friends I always feel a little bit weird about asking about that
01:13:21
because I know it's it's a heavy subject it's not just funny stories we're doing a sort of a special on him and uh the
01:13:26
thing is I don't want to dine out on Farley I did movies with him and I I kind of didn't want to separate myself
01:13:32
from but I just want to not feel like maybe this will make you feel a little better what would make Chris Farley happier than hearing you tell stories
01:13:45
about the funny things that's true I would want people to say funny things and I wouldn't want anyone
01:13:51
to feel awkward all talking about me and and so Chris was obviously a huge part I mean one thing I didn't tell Dana is I
01:13:58
used to have a foam machine and in the old days when it was actually the weird part when it went from cassettes to
01:14:05
digital for a minute and then they were kind of just on your phone but it's a physical machine and so I realized once
01:14:12
everyone's leaving such funny messages that I kept them and I go I just will have this for Life maybe it'll be an out
01:14:17
maybe something one day but it's far away and these guys when you have a phone machine they just do it's like a
01:14:22
show it's like Sandler it's like being here oh yes oh yes oh yes you know just whatever and then Farley goes names good good I says I says I says I says
01:14:36
his eyes he just keeps going yeah and then there's norm and everyone so it's like the best of the best I delete the
01:14:43
ones and I had 33 and then someone that was working on my house goes hey I moved your office around I go what do you mean
01:14:48
I ran in there they unplugged it and says zero and I go wait how do we how and there was no way oh no and I it was
01:14:56
it still bugs me to this day I go it was the best that you'll never um get back but I think the reason Paul
01:15:02
doesn't mind talking about is because the Beatles songs was like a wave that was cresting and I think they're even
01:15:07
bigger in the last 10 years than they than they were 30 years ago yeah for sure because it was too much too much
01:15:13
incredible music 200 masterpieces and then it was just sort of Paul doing his stuff and they kind of got lost they
01:15:20
were always huge but now I feel like it's this 10.0 and then he decided at one point to do the songs that were
01:15:26
traditionally considered Lenin songs he opened up with Day in the Life he's doing Strawberry Fields so he's at peace
01:15:32
with it but I didn't I didn't know that but we did get into about 30 minutes of the video which was great David you told
01:15:38
me a long time ago you're on the show that uh celebrities would get upset with you and I think we know everybody knows the stories about Eddie Murphy or whatever but I've never heard that about jokes that you would make uh during
01:15:52
Weekend Update Hollywood minute yeah yeah I'm sorry Hollywood minute um did you uh did you have any uh besides that Eddie Murphy do you have any uncomfortable
01:16:02
uh run-ins meetings did you start to well it was it was not go places problem with publicists and people and then like like anyone talk shows you you do jokes about people and you sort of forget them
01:16:14
that day and but you run into someone and then you get a weird vibe and you go oh wait and you have to Rack your brain
01:16:19
oh boy so the only one I remember sort of more vividly was um Cameron Crowe at the show and I'm over by the 8h desk and then I well and he goes hey uh David Cameron Crow and
01:16:33
you know I was back with fast times he did Fast Times judgment high or whatever he's done a lot of ton of [ __ ] so I said
01:16:38
oh hey and I shake his hand and it was like slow and she goes you know my wife or do you know my wife and I go to shake
01:16:44
her hand and I go in my head I go he's married to someone famous and it was Nancy Wilson from heart and she just
01:16:50
stared at me and she goes you were talking [ __ ] about me and my sister and it just stopped and I go oh ah what are you gonna do you know you make a
01:17:01
Hollywood minute omelette you got to break some eggs and so you know I need no idea sorry and
01:17:06
then I just sort of drifted off and the worst part is I love heart and I made fun of
01:17:11
so many people that I liked it just it was a desperate uh move that I was kind of good at at the time of of doing that move to stay on alive on the show I mean Lauren
01:17:24
it was probably two to three years in and then I did a Hollywood minute and uh did they ever and they laughed at read
01:17:30
through and then Lauren goes good you found your voice he said I read through huh and he just said because I
01:17:35
sat right next to him and I was like what does that mean I didn't really know what that meant and then it it worked and then about a week later
01:17:41
he goes maybe Hollywood minute this week I go are you [ __ ] [ __ ] me because he's never told me to do a sketch he's
01:17:46
never I was just scraping to me in sketches and then that kept me on a few more years I didn't want to do that one
01:17:52
too much either but it was a good one to go to and then I started of a strain like as someone you don't know young blonde kid from Arizona out of the business just taking people's
01:18:03
legs out but saying what people were kind of saying right you know what they didn't want to say because it was all People magazine there was only Magazine
01:18:09
with People magazine I think and so they were like so fluffy to celebrities so it was it was interesting to hear someone
01:18:15
say something kind of negative if it was a clever way like when you go uh MC Hammer dude it's over you know I mean uh yeah Julie
01:18:27
Brown my career's in trouble trouble uh so all those were kind of funny you do 10 jokes and then but remember this and Sandler had it with uh Opera man where you do it
01:18:39
off the side this and that then he's he's at home base he's doing the subtitles and he's having pictures so
01:18:45
Hollywood minute is like okay Hollywood minute and then you would have the picture of the person yeah and you'd be right down the lens so like just that
01:18:52
just really service you as a comedian once the crowd bought into it then they're looking forward to it then I do that a few times and then I get to a
01:18:59
level then Tommy Boy came out and then like black sheep and then suddenly I'm in that sort of uh your area of being
01:19:05
known and then it to me it wasn't as interesting because I go part of the fun was it's a nobody just like and then I
01:19:12
go I'm in this I know careers are fragile I get why people feel like [ __ ] sometimes these jokes I don't like mean
01:19:18
jokes about me so I go ah so it it faded out and then that was just toward the end anyway yeah you suddenly you feel
01:19:25
like maybe you're not punching up anymore yeah they're your friends and now you know everybody and then you go I
01:19:31
can't do that person I did one about Aniston I felt bad about and then I just said I this is getting stupid MC Hammer
01:19:38
hosted the show all you guys were there he did the reception he was no not really he didn't no he did no yeah well
01:19:44
he did and I remember I remember I was kind of in my hated I was kind of cocky so the writers came over and I I was
01:19:50
doing I was coming in at the end of that sketch David oh yeah I did my first where I go and you are that was my first
01:19:56
yeah that actually worked five to one it was I though Phil was Jesus was I an alien he wasn't he was in that one the
01:20:02
first one was MC Hammer you came in as an alien I think I didn't know who anyone was and then when it came back
01:20:09
again it was first SketchUp I think it was Roseanne I think it was you Phil as Jesus um but I remember MC Hammer is there in the writer's office side and I was just kind of kidding around and go what do
01:20:19
you guys want you want a big laugh when I come in or you want an Applause break I mean you know what do you want I'll put on whatever meat you want an MC
01:20:25
Hammer coming from the streets he just thought that was the greatest man you can't touch this that song was [ __ ] unreal yeah I mean
01:20:33
come on dude I think vanilla ice came on I I was rocking out as much as anyone I mean that song there's there's some toe
01:20:40
tappers in that room yeah although the parts that are actually catchy were written by someone else and then just
01:20:45
wrapped over right I was willing to look the other way yeah you are okay but then you couldn't do commercials then then he
01:20:51
did a Taco Bell You Can't Touch This the burrito supreme and now anyone could do a commercial you can't eat it I missed
01:20:56
it the 90s I left a lot of money on the table you can't do that you're Bob Dylan yeah that changed in a big way that was
01:21:03
supposed to do isn't that a special deal for a Big Mac and he was like it's too clunky oh I had church lady for a Taco
01:21:12
Bell I had them all lined up yeah [Music] I did a Super Bowl commercial when I was way earlier than I should have on
01:21:23
Personnel because I had no money and they they offered me a Diet Pepsi commercial and then gervitz goes that
01:21:29
all right it's all set we just gotta run it by Lauren I go why well you know we just contract
01:21:36
Contracting I go no no no well it shouldn't be a problem and then he goes ah he killed it he killed my Super Bowl
01:21:44
commercial it was after John and I did ours yeah did you mention that Mark what are
01:21:52
you doing are you gonna we're gonna talk to Mark after this but um can I tell a Super Bowl commercials yeah 10 seconds
01:21:58
so John and I are doing we did one it really crushed and we're doing the second one and it's a series of like two
01:22:03
second shots we're filming in New Orleans we're everywhere and it's a quick thing for American Express and our catchphrase was yes that so we're in a
01:22:11
stadium in Miami and we got to wear Hawaiian shirts for two seconds shot in the stands so I go in there's 300
01:22:18
Hawaiian shirts to fix so I pick one and come out with a Hawaiian shirt and I'm sitting there and John goes I'll go get
01:22:24
my Hawaiian shirt he goes in there he's in there for like a half hour he comes out goes over to me and goes can I wear
01:22:29
your shirt I swear to God I go John there's 300. can I wear your shirt you got the best
01:22:37
one you got the best shot of course I wouldn't take it off no it was the best one then I did that's how I tease John of course I got the best one I know I got him we both know I got I could
01:22:48
imagine that you were super bummed about not being able to do that commercial yeah I think it was 250 Grand and I was
01:22:55
making about 1500 a week on the showers is that right you're making 1500 a week I made I made I wonder about that like
01:23:01
do you ever get paid a lot to be on Saturday I think I started at 4 500 yeah and maybe left at 12.5 I was 900 because
01:23:09
I was just a writer and uh it's a 900 week to write and then I got a 1500 bump if I was on I think and so but I was fine with that so did that and then uh it got up to
01:23:21
then like the second year was like uh 3500 a show and then the next week next year 45. so it never got like astronomical yeah well I mean it sounds you know obviously it's it's not a lot of money
01:23:32
Show Business you know when you're dreaming of riches and you're living in New York yeah there's nothing there's
01:23:38
nothing like it one thing I'd like to just insert at this point is that for people to understand that David Spade
01:23:44
and Rob Schneider were in The Ether of stand-ups and Dennis and I both knew them and thought they were kind of the best guys out there I mean I did a lot of stand up with Rob Schneider and I met
01:23:55
David before and would see him at the Improv so some people go how did you know David Spade why are you doing this
01:24:01
podcast like I've known him since he was and he was another one to whisper to Lauren Lake in the talent Department
01:24:07
like he's good like do you remember when you met yeah well I was living with Kevin Nealon and Bob Dubach in a a house did you ever live with anyone who isn't famous
01:24:18
I weren't famous than I had to save money to buy a house she was working writing speeches and was working with for an assemblyman out in the valley and we were the rent was 300
01:24:31
we had a hot plate we lived above the garage and the the the dryer had no heat on it but they just roll it for like all day long it would roll to dry it was just a roller yeah so it was just it had
01:24:41
this little carport and needle was across the way and then I got on pulled him in but I met David there at that
01:24:48
house just hanging out because I was a fan of met kneeling and loved his stand-up love Dana of course he's the
01:24:54
best Dennis Miller yeah and then Dana wasn't uh at the club as much as Kevin was kind of grinding away but Dana was sort of someone I didn't get to see a lot but I just thought was great and
01:25:05
then Kevin goes hey I got SNL do you want to rent my room I'm going to be gone I said yeah I need
01:25:12
he heard me saying I needed a place he goes well I'm going to rent my room on so we made this deal and I and when he came home he was very nice he stayed on
01:25:18
the couch he let me keep he didn't take his room but [ __ ] Daniel Carvey lives above the garage in my own house so I'm
01:25:24
like holy [ __ ] I get to see him do back's a comedian there's a writer living there and then uh and Kevin so
01:25:30
when they'd come back I would get to hear stories not even thinking that would be somewhere I would end up I was
01:25:36
just like [ __ ] that these two famous guys that I think are greater are somewhere where I get to talk to him and
01:25:42
so that was you know I go back to Arizona and be like I feel like you I remember Judd Nelson at a keg
01:25:47
party when I was visiting and I felt like I was in show business because you're in the vicinity so you ran into
01:25:53
someone where someone that's been in a movie was I'm getting warmer and that's how you think and so I go oh I'm [ __ ]
01:25:59
talking to Dana and uh Kevin and I'm at The Improv so I'm getting at least closer to what I hopefully will will do
01:26:06
yeah I was I Dennis Miller I knew from the clubs and then he got on SNL and then I had we went played the comedy magic club and we're driving back and then he tells me about the pressure of us now
01:26:18
eat you up tear you apart man I mean there's no gig like this on Earth honest I gotta go home crying most nights you know you sure you want to do this thing it's not don't wish too hard don't worry
01:26:29
but he was it was incredibly told us this is a pressure cooker like no human being has ever ever been in and we got it anyway because the pressure is it
01:26:40
ever Wayne do you feel as you get more comfortable feel steadily sick like you have mild coveted the whole run really uh the whole six years I did it you know
01:26:52
uh Dennis we'd walk in the room he's in the writer's room he did update you know but he didn't really want to be in sketches and [ __ ] so he would just sit
01:26:58
there and uh we'd walk in and he would we're we're the new guys so he'd Haze us uh-huh yeah Chris Rock angry black guy
01:27:06
is that it and then he'd go around yeah like a shooting gallery Tim Meadows black guy not even angry you're the nice
01:27:12
guy what's that all about you got nothing Farley fatty fall down anything else sound the cross-eyed guy what
01:27:19
what's what's next on the docket yeah zero where Dana push him off a building and Farley would beg him because I was with Dennis once we say Kyrie let's stop
01:27:31
by with the junior varsity you know and they're all lined up and Farley's like come on do it you know and then he would
01:27:38
do his Shooting Gallery but everyone is laughing their ass off I get it yeah crank sinks they're not buying that canned contorted guy you know but um
01:27:49
anyway what about the last show the your last shows I remember it that was that was by probably the loosest I was I think I after about a 80s shows I've got way more comfortable because I was
01:28:00
having so much success and Wayne's World was cooking and everything my last sketch that I remember I played Prince
01:28:07
Charles now King Charles who shrinks himself scientists shrink him down to the size of a tampon so that he can live in the trousers yeah oh and I didn't know later there was a there was a royal
01:28:21
in England watching this crying because it was very cruel but hysterical he gave a speech to the nation I should be going
01:28:27
to a place that's very dark I should be shrinking into the size of a town point so I can live in the trousers of my
01:28:34
sounds like a jack Henny or Robert's Michael I don't know but that was what about okay so that's your last sketch
01:28:40
but what about like at the party afterwards was it where did someone it was a toast made to you or is there a
01:28:46
special attention I just left in the middle of the Season there was you didn't get a dance or Lauren clinking
01:28:52
champagne glasses there was no official goodbye why did you leave in the middle of the Season that was a really stupid
01:28:57
decision um it was because I done I got so hot off the show like too hot too hot for my own good because Wayne's World all the political stuff Ross Pro Church like
01:29:09
everything is cooking Hans and fronds had a movie deal so then there was a stupid movie for a lot of money and I
01:29:16
thought well I have to leave pretty soon anyway I'm at a peak here where do I go from here you know right and so that's
01:29:21
why and the movie was starting at such a time but it you know know it probably wasn't the best choice but anyway it
01:29:28
happened but that I got too hot off the show and so if I got offered things that I had no business doing you know if I
01:29:35
had a little less here you remember something that you decided you had to turn down because you're on the show
01:29:41
well I turned down a lot of things um you mean I had to turn the one that kills you no not really I love doing it
01:29:48
doing the show really I I I was developing Hans and Franz The girlyman Dilemma wrote that script with Conan and
01:29:57
kneeling names Michael and myself and then I had uh two song which I wrote Bob onakirk which was a really funny Western
01:30:04
for me and John Lovitz so I had those in development and then um they were just trundling along so
01:30:10
then it was taking time and then you're offered these movies for generational wealth type amounts and probably not a
01:30:17
good idea but too much heat how about you would finish out the season I left um and when you leave I think the next
01:30:25
move is back then the the networks would probably let you try your own show you know like it's Speedy right up but it
01:30:34
that's a big gamble and there was uh just shoot me was a brillstein production that was how long how much
01:30:40
time elapsed between just shoot me and the your I don't I think it was the following year we did the pilot yeah 96.
01:30:47
so I was out of there at 96 uh we did um the pilot was already already shot and in New York with Laura to be on the lineup you know how that works for the upfronts right and they called her that
01:30:59
night and said we're not gonna have you come out fly back home which is so weird because I have 41 people yeah and they
01:31:05
said we want to add some of the so Mark and Brad uh gray showed it to me and they
01:31:10
said do you think you could fit into this and it's the fifth lead but you could make it's a guy from Larry Sanders
01:31:15
Steve Levitan and so we all talked and I thought you know I think this is safer I'm with funny people but there's no way
01:31:23
they're funnier than what I just came from so they were just great actors and they were funny too so right
01:31:29
it just mixed well and then I got to do that but I did a movie like Dan was saying I did a movie lost and found
01:31:34
during that and if you do one movie no matter how much heat you have it didn't work well and that that lost all the
01:31:41
Heat and movies for I had to build up over just shoot me again up for an Emmy up for going global was Julie Bowen in
01:31:47
that with you Sophie Marcel Sophie Marshall because they assume even though you're you're thinking they'll
01:31:53
understand because someone is directing it writing it producing it I'm just doing the best I can I know the train has left the station and we're dying
01:32:01
here but it's it's like David Spade's lost and found you know and didn't work I mean Sandler told me right before it
01:32:06
came out he goes hey because he knew more about it and he goes you got to beef up your marketing because it's not
01:32:11
um not testing it's not tracking well it's not going to open big and I'm like you already know this it's a couple days before
01:32:17
he was on Waterboy at that point it was [ __ ] huge so he said try to get your guys this anyway it was too late didn't
01:32:23
do well I couldn't get another movie for three years and and just had to do well you know
01:32:29
like I said up for going glow up for another one up for an Emmy and then after all that heat you get another shot
01:32:35
at it and so did another one and then that worked better and then it kept me around but like Dan was saying if you do
01:32:41
one movie it doesn't work perfectly it can evaporate so much of your [ __ ] momentum yeah it stops and it also can
01:32:48
go the other way where you suddenly have more momentum than maybe you can handle yeah
01:32:53
trapped in Paradise with John and um Nicholas Cage and that one is a long story it's a whole novel in itself but it was still born and then I'm reading
01:33:05
Dana carvey's trapped in Paradise like Alfred Hitchcock Presents I'm like what the [ __ ] I was wondering the snow for
01:33:13
six months in Canada I didn't even know what my lines were but Nicholas Cage was fun to work with he is a character do
01:33:20
you think back on those days as like uh now that you think back on them in the same way you think back on going to
01:33:26
school yeah I would say that yes if you go back to your high school on a Sunday afternoon and just walk around the high school and maybe see some of the old
01:33:38
pictures whatever that feeling is when I go to SNL if I'm up on the 17th Floor I'll be walking down the hall and I'll see me and Phil from 30 years ago and in other pictures and so it's very
01:33:51
it's nostalgic it's Melancholy it's very odd and but mostly as time goes on you just you feel very grateful for you you know it was just it was the linchpin for me completely nothing would have
01:34:03
happened yeah so it's just such a I see the same thing go back in there and you get like your heart drops like [ __ ] you're walking in a 30 Rock on every
01:34:10
time I walked in here I was sick to myself like every time you're like here we go so even when you're just visiting
01:34:15
or whatever I when I was I only went once when I wasn't hosting or something and uh it just gave me the same weird feeling but I look at the photos and it's just like oh my God
01:34:26
there's so much going on here and sad you see Phil who passed away you see Norm uh obviously Chris and you just go [ __ ]
01:34:34
Jan and all the people you were with and you're just like lucky to still be around lucky that I had this and you see
01:34:40
Lauren and Lauren is really fun to see because as tough as it was it was a lot in your
01:34:45
head like he's thinking about you every day going I'm going to squash this bug and I'm like he doesn't give a [ __ ] he
01:34:51
just wants the funny sketches Beyond you guys fight it out we're putting on a good show and then not just the way it's always been and uh and now it doesn't
01:34:59
really matter and then it's very fun to see him and I think just having been on it is so surreal because of as a kid
01:35:05
dreaming of this secretly yeah I wasn't in Theater Arts or anything but watching variety shows
01:35:11
um you know Flip Wilson and laughing and all those old-fashioned ones and then seeing Steve Martin on it and they were
01:35:17
badass Pirate Rock Stars the First cast I was in college and they were like oh my God damn and then five or six years
01:35:24
later suddenly I'm in their chair I I just felt like don't we need someone besides me that the minute I got it I really felt incredibly nervous that I
01:35:35
was gonna be the one to ruin the show that the show I'd actually turn the lights out the switch is over there 8h
01:35:42
there there you just press it down because you're the one who [ __ ] drove it into a ditch yeah that was the fear
01:35:48
but fear drives you so I would say it's it's still I remember George Bush Senior saying to me because we would hang out years later and stuff we were friends he goes I can't even believe I
01:36:00
was president can hardly hardly understand it really it became a surreal thing to him 15 years later I know I was
01:36:08
in there I pressed some buttons made some speeches very hazy Haze hazy you don't think about the lead up when you see somebody like I remember seeing you on Saturday Night Live and just going
01:36:21
like oh yeah there's Dana Carvey he was born to be on the show he's he came out of the womb doing characters and of course this makes perfect sense but never do you think of the struggling boy
01:36:32
I've never heard anybody say anything like that about a president because I always assumed the guys who wind up
01:36:38
president with one notable exception are planning for it when they run for the student council right in the in the
01:36:43
eighth grade you know they're thinking about it way back then he was a unique character because once you hit the
01:36:49
present then it's over then he's like this is my whole life and then now what do I do I've only tried to get to this
01:36:54
to be a president that's right afterwards if it's 10 years of me if you're an SNL cast member at a given
01:37:00
point you're an ex SNL cast member I remember Fred armerson after he left which is you always feel like someone is
01:37:06
doing my job and they're doing it better than me you know he's like how do you deal with that but for me I did not have
01:37:13
the confidence even with I learned later as I went along I'm a fish in water this is actually really I got much much
01:37:19
better I'd never done sketch comedy until the very first cold opening which I didn't even know I was in on the very
01:37:25
first show I just I when every time I got a laugh when I was doing Church chat I wanted to turn to the audience like a
01:37:30
stand-up I had to force myself to stay in the scene so I needed to learn how to do sketch comedy and I became I fell in
01:37:38
love with it of having Phil as a partner of Mike Myers and Kevin Nealon and stuff so that that part instead of being a
01:37:45
stand-up it was just fun to be part of a kick-ass a team like everyone's great on
01:37:50
the show I'm leaving the show like I didn't and go to college that much and um I mean I'm super smart but it's
01:37:55
Scottsdale Community College right yeah were they the Pirates I went to SEC the artichokes and the artichokes went to
01:38:01
Arizona right there too yeah Bill Hader moved from Oklahoma to go to Community College yeah this is where the kids who didn't do so good in the high school see you
01:38:14
later dad that's like Fame The Academy they're like three made it now 300 million
01:38:21
didn't but he wasn't aware of you guys going through there no no but he I don't think it it seemed crazy to him until I
01:38:28
reacted strongly to that bit of news like we went to the Community College down the block from my house from like
01:38:36
you travel to go there nobody everybody now like I was saying I don't really have friends from college but I do have friends from high school and then I have SNL people so yeah I feel the same way I
01:38:48
don't yeah I saw Chris Rock I talked to him yesterday I talked to Adam more but there's guys because the podcast that you get to talk to for an hour like Bill Hader where I would see him at a party
01:38:59
and talk for two minutes but to get the [ __ ] is really fun and it's sort of reminiscing about us and all about
01:39:05
whatever we talk about but that is nice to get someone trapped for an hour you just get to catch up yeah with Bill the
01:39:11
the the Revelation was how how much nervous energy he had around that show I mean really full of pledge panic attacks all kinds of all because he was so great
01:39:21
on the show you know right up there with anybody and just so nervous man I don't
01:39:27
know how he hit it but it was a really big deal I'm very interesting to hear about you wonder what the toll what the
01:39:32
like when at the end of it all well I had a blocked artery like three years later so you know besides my channel
01:39:38
where you go do I have long SNL yeah no I would go they'd say three two one I'd be bushed because I did so many in ones and the whole Show's riding on me
01:39:50
and I've got nine minutes of dialogue and my heart would be just pounding out on my chest but you have to try to relax
01:39:56
I could pick up things my hands were so sweaty and I couldn't pick up pieces of paper in the early days for sure it was
01:40:03
just too [ __ ] nerve-wracking but we've got through it it's not just like I mean ultimately it's like you want to be funny that's and that's number one
01:40:10
you want to be funny but also like yeah as you mentioned earlier like sometimes the future of your whole family is
01:40:16
riding on this oh yeah what am I gonna do if this doesn't work and if I didn't kill in the clubs then I didn't get to
01:40:24
the middle act if I didn't kill there I didn't get the headline and then the middle ax trying to knock me off I came
01:40:29
in with the mindset of a stand-up like I don't want to just get laughs I want to levitate I want to destroy the room for
01:40:36
better for worse that was my my where I was thinking all the time or else I'm gonna get fired or I'm not not going to
01:40:42
be in the show at all so you had to really really strategize about that and if people
01:40:48
parents relatives when you say you're a stand-up that's all good and well it's not as
01:40:54
impressive to go oh I just did Gut Busters and we filled up The Late Show Friday oh I'm at Side Splitters in
01:41:01
Mississippi and they go great and then you go oh I'm God on SNL then it just perks people up it's something they know
01:41:06
and something works they can easily explain to their friends you know that and going on Johnny Carson I got on once
01:41:12
he's been on a lot that's the surrealness of the big one when you go on television Carson or SNL yeah what it
01:41:18
how it affects everyone you know and then it's starting to happen and you're starting to get famous and someone's
01:41:23
asking for your autograph all of that is like you're like in a dream state in a sense you know it's like wait a minute I got an SNL I'm actually doing well what you know I I still I still haven't
01:41:36
wrapped my I can't believe I was on it it's all crazy well I have a crazy stuff I love talking to you guys that was a lot of fun thanks for uh getting paid for the extra half hour okay well okay
01:41:49
good I didn't I have no sense of time I don't know right now I just talked too long I have no do it all day appreciate
01:41:56
it thank you for doing this we know you have a another job but thanks for doing it we also have a studio up in Santa Ynez above Santa Barbara and we'd like to invite you to drive up there and
01:42:08
interview US just all over the country well we'll get a couple microphones we'll tape the whole Drive yeah so but anyway no thanks
01:42:15
for coming thanks for having to fly on the wall Jimmy Kimmel ladies and gentlemen Christ
01:42:21
thanks this guy Gus is everywhere hey what's up flies what's up fleas what's up people that listen we want to hear from you and your dumb questions questions ask us anything anything you
01:42:32
want you can email us at fly on the wall at cadence13.com all right guys we got a question here um from Dave castelletta
01:42:45
castaneta I think Dana not now not here not now we're trying to start the year off I'm I want
01:42:52
to say if I'm reading better than you what's it say about your eyes I've got sunglasses on
01:42:58
Dave did I get that right yeah there was an owl in there W both and I love the podcast this is a great question uh oh it keeps going I like this guy's opinion in your post has now years have you ever
01:43:09
come up with a sketch idea yeah and if so what do you do with them garbage do you ever share the ideas with current cast members just wondering you two are the best you don't share them because then they
01:43:22
would then they would score and get laughs and where would you be no I know some I did for a while I would call them
01:43:28
in I would say I did I actually did it recently Dan Bull is a writer there that I like
01:43:34
and he's the only one I really talk to that's a writer okay but I do like that idea it was very hard
01:43:40
when you left because the pressure was off so you'd sometimes go oh here's a good angle on what's going on the news
01:43:45
or here's a funny commercial parody or uh I'm sure it was dog [ __ ] but you know sometimes I
01:43:51
comment I don't think it's ever come to fruition even when you go to host I don't know if you did this Dana you a
01:43:58
lot of people come with a a few people come with a writer like they they get nervous yeah like if they're a comic or
01:44:04
they're from a show they say I'm going to bring two of my guys Jamie Foxx or someone you know yeah yeah and it's such
01:44:09
a different kind of animal to go write a sketch and fit in with all what they're doing they're not really against it there they
01:44:15
just it's so hard to make it work but they a host understandably gets nervous and they go this these people know my sense of humor I think I did it when I went there I think I went in with a sketch idea it doesn't always make it to
01:44:28
the finish line but they definitely uh do it so the question is I after I did it with Bill Hader and he does that he did that Italian guy right a little bit that thing and then he had Fred Armisen
01:44:44
you know but I got it I I thought I would go in and be like the 100 year old patriarch who would just be like but then I would mime out violent things
01:44:55
for the guests you know and I just didn't call them and say you should have someone else do that
01:45:06
Jason Sudeikis could have crush with that oh you didn't call him Oh I thought you were hosting if you host you could
01:45:11
have jumped in on that I know I was a little shy about it the one that I thought of Fairly recently was the
01:45:17
world's first sociopath which is like there must have been social paths during primitive man times
01:45:23
you know during the hunter-gatherer stage hey you guys so what are you doing oh okay are you hunting or gathering
01:45:28
don't just sit around either hunt or gather or get the [ __ ] out and then it's like later on he goes where's Bob I
01:45:34
don't know well what's that hand coming out of the ground it's Bob I think but you do I hit
01:45:40
him with a rock am I weird am I strange for my I have these compulsions of killing things am I weird and the guy goes no not at all I mean sometimes at
01:45:51
night I just cut myself I don't know what that means maybe some sort of free Ascension anxiety well you know Steve I mean he always waits till the grapes rot
01:46:02
and then drinks the juice and acts dances around for hours I don't know are we weird sounds like anyway so I didn't send it to Essence
01:46:13
but I do I had that on stage because I can only do sketches in small rooms I I killed it one night had it perfect I'm a little rusty but but I love SNL but generally if we had a
01:46:26
friend there yeah it directly like remember when I I had left and I told you to do Hollywood minute
01:46:33
yeah I I called I actually did one for Sandler I thought when I thought was really good percent I can't remember it
01:46:39
now but I I said I think you'd be good at this but uh by the time I think I called it was the
01:46:44
midweek and you know after that writing starts it's just too hard to start from scratch but anyway he did fine okay
01:46:51
thank you for your question and let's see what sunglasses we have on next week [Music]
01:46:58
this has been a podcast presentation of cadence 13. please listen then rate review and follow all episodes available
01:47:05
now for free wherever you get your podcast no joke folks fly on the wall has been a presentation of cadence 13. executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Chris
01:47:16
Corcoran of cadence 13 and Charlie finan of brillstein entertainment the show's lead producers Greg Holtzman with
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production and Engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of cadence 13.