00:00:00
I thought this was about the fact that we're up for a Webbby award on the si on
00:00:04
the podcast. I didn't know we were gonna talk. >> There's someone who's coming in.
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>> Oh boy. >> I'll talk to you later. >> Oh, bye. >> to fill the audience in. It's very
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special. >> This is big news. Yeah. This is We're up for best comedy podcast with uh some
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other good quality candidates. >> Conan, is it Conan? >> He's in there. I voted for you.
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>> If we if we don't win, I'm going to call voter fraud. John Reeves gets a little
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aggressive sometimes. Michelle and I talked about it. You got to go up get up in his grill and kick his ass.
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>> No, but he knows Yeah, he knows John Wick stuff. >> We don't give a We're landing on the
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moon. We're getting moon dust in combat. >> I love it. One of them goes, "Guys,
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guess what? I packed. They weren't looking. The tune buggy. >> My headphones, the metal part of the
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headphone. It was plugged in but wasn't all the way in." That's what she said.
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That's funny, right? >> Yeah, >> that's what she said. Baby, welcome to
00:01:03
the show. We were just laughing about some hilarious. >> Do your best fake laugh. Best actor. Um,
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three, two, >> Oh, wait. Is that you you're doing that in bus voice? >> No. I go like this. I go, that's funny.
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That's a good one. >> Wait, you do that on everything I say. Uh oh. >> Oh, that doesn't mean I'm faking it. I
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My acting could be just as good. >> Um I'd like to because I'm in the mood for
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it. This is We have a guest on right up front today and he may come back later. >> Quick guest. Okay.
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>> This is a guest and his his name is Mr. Pierce Morgan and he's here to talk
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about the movie Bus Boys. >> He's a pretty good guest. >> Mhm. Exactly. Hello,
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>> David. >> Okay. >> Now, I understand you have a movie out called Bus Boys.
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>> That is true. In two weeks. Yeah. >> And it's all rated. >> Uh, pretty much. Yeah, I'm pretty sure
00:02:06
it will be. >> Do you think it's appropriate that you should do an all-rated movie at this
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time of your career? >> You know, that's a good question. Uh, I just think sometimes the younger
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audience likes that and you got to mix it up a little bit. But I just don't think you need to sort of have crass
00:02:25
humor to try to connect with an audience. Am I wrong? >> Well, you're not wrong. I mean, there I
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it is a bit juvenile and stupid and uh nonPC, but you know what? That's that's
00:02:37
what you got to pay the price if you want three funny jokes in your movie. >> Better understand, there's a scene where
00:02:42
Tim Dylan is is talking about your private parts. Is this is this what you find funny? Is this something funny that
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you think is actually funny? >> Well, no. I think we just we reflect the real world out there and everyone's
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playing it very real and it's just um a movie that I think might change the world. That's all.
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>> Well, quite frankly, because I I just want to say I find it quite offensive
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that you would come out with a movie about bus boys. It's all rated at this time with all the trouble in the world.
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And I I really don't know why you're doing that. >> I know. I we were I thought this was
00:03:17
about the fact that we're up for a Webbby award on the sit on the podcast. I didn't know we were going to talk.
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>> There's someone who's coming in. >> Oh, boy. >> I'll talk to you later.
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>> Oh, bye. >> Oh, is that reckon? I didn't know what he >> bridges.
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>> Mhm. Yeah. >> I didn't reckon what he was talking about, so I was going to come in and um
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just sort of say hello. I think Bus Boys is a great idea. I think it's a fun
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movie and I bought my I I already bought my tickets like Theo Von told me to do.
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>> Yeah, Jeff Bridge, you'll like it better because you you'll sort of grade it on a
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curve. You're not that uptight about it. >> Yeah. The only thing that Pierce
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Morgan's missing is a sense of humor. So, I'm all for it. >> Mhm. >> That's a good point.
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>> All right. Thanks. >> Sound a little like sling blade there, Jeff.
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>> Well, it is. I used to do >> I knew Jeff Bridges. He'd be like a
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surfer dude and then he did True Grit and they talking like a cowboy and True Grit and then he did the press tour and
00:04:22
he still was in character. >> You know, I figured they do that because it was the guy that played Elvis. Yeah,
00:04:30
he did that. Austin Butler. >> Uh, we're up for a Webbby though. I don't
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know if you know this. >> I heard that. I heard that. Yeah, this is to fill the audience in. It's very
00:04:41
special. >> This is big news. Yeah, this is we're up for best comedy podcast with uh
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>> some other good quality candidates. >> Conan, >> is it Conan?
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>> Yeah, he's in there. >> It's Bowen Yang and La Culturistas.
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>> Mhm. >> And uh Heather probably knows the rest. But the point is it doesn't matter
00:05:01
because we are the one to vote for. So you have to go online. I just try to do it to vote for ourselves.
00:05:08
embarrassingly, but you have to like log in. So, it we'll do it later. But >> if we win, and I don't know if it' be
00:05:13
online or we'll go there. If we if we win and we go up there to the podium, what do you think you would say? How
00:05:19
would you what would you say to >> Oh, to the universe about >> I would rather
00:05:26
I don't want any time limits. I want to talk >> when we go. >> It will be long enough our speech to
00:05:35
call it another podcast. I it would count as a podcast. We'll check with the with the the higher ups.
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I would just say I would say look >> I'm so >> glad to be with all these wonderful
00:05:52
podcasts >> and any one of you could win. I share this award. I share this award with you.
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>> It's no it's Bernie. >> Don't proceed. Don't proceed. The rich
00:06:08
don't pay the fair share. They don't pay the money. They don't take the fair
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share. Don't proceed. Don't proceed. I don't know. They don't pay their fair
00:06:17
share. >> I'm the only voter in the academy voting for the Webbby. It's just me for comedy
00:06:24
podcasts and I voted for you. >> If we if we don't win, I'm going to call
00:06:29
voter fraud. Also, >> okay, >> you know, there's a voter ID debate
00:06:34
going on. I don't really know what the whole thing >> Why would anyone have to show ID to
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vote? Get out of town. >> Exactly. There's another there's another
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story married to that where there's Listen, I have to show my ID to do almost literally anything in life. Drive
00:06:52
a car, go to the airport, do, you know, buy beer. >> So, I don't think having an ID is a
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crazy idea to vote. But there's something in I just read that this is funny. Connecticut
00:07:04
on such a minor thing. >> Connecticut, they don't they don't want >> the voter ID, right? So, I'll [ __ ]
00:07:12
mangle this story, >> but they're getting with the recycling 5 cents. They get 5 cents, but they're
00:07:18
upping it to 10 cents for their recycling. They They'll pay you. >> Oh, yeah. You'll get 10 cents instead of
00:07:25
5 cents. Turn in a can or some kind of milk cart. But what they're finding out
00:07:29
is people are coming from other states >> to take advantage of that. >> So they say you have to have an ID to do
00:07:37
it and you have to be from here. You can't cross the border into our c into our state and do it.
00:07:42
>> I say and this may be a hot take and I don't want to get people upset. That is
00:07:47
hysterical. Let's get rid of >> all IDs like DMV. No ID. Get on an airplane. Hey man,
00:07:57
my name's Doug. Just I'm in seed four, right? So just get rid of, you know, if
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the IRS I don't have ID, dude. I don't I think it's an over we're over
00:08:06
identified. So if we're going to get for voting, let's do it for everything.
00:08:10
5-year-olds can buy a pint of whiskey. >> I'm fine with it because it's less
00:08:15
stress on me. I don't want to have to go get a real ID. I don't want to do all
00:08:18
this stuff. So please make it easy on me. Also, uh, I will tell you, you you you I know you're a fan of my mother, my
00:08:26
lovely mother, Judy. >> She's the best. >> And oh my god, mother, you know what
00:08:30
parents do. And she the other day she hit me up and she's, first of all, she's so sweet, right?
00:08:39
>> Absolutely. Kind of innocent in a sweet way, >> right? Very innocent. Dana, not kind of.
00:08:45
I'm just trying to be, you know, >> she's she's out at Costco where she
00:08:53
spends 90% of >> uh anyone any senior, >> you know, you're a senior when you live
00:09:00
at Costco. My my mother-in-law is 94, Irish, wonderful person. Just Costco is is her second church.
00:09:08
>> Yeah, it's a great hangout. So, >> great hangout. What did you say?
00:09:12
>> Hot dog Thursdays. Okay. So, she goes to Costco and in the classic, she texts me.
00:09:17
This is what I wake up to. There's a little family and she said, "I was
00:09:23
shopping and there was the woman was crying. She was standing line, but she kept crying and no one would talk to
00:09:29
her." So, my mom went over, >> of course, predictably, and she said, "What's wrong?" And she said, "They have
00:09:39
nowhere to live. It's a mother and father and they have four kids and they just came here from
00:09:45
some part of Africa and anyway she the dad is like a doctor but they don't consider that a doctor here and you know
00:09:56
when we were younger we had a Vietnamese family live with us and the dad was was
00:09:59
a doctor >> really >> and yeah >> never heard that story >> qui Shin Tron and Lan
00:10:09
and We adopted a kid and called him Quinoa. >> Quinoa, is that his name? >> Quinoa. Yeah. And he he loved kind of
00:10:18
rice products. >> He's kind of making fun of the story, I think, is very
00:10:21
>> I we'll get to the heavy punch line. >> The heavy It's not. It's that Harper
00:10:25
stays in this back room in her house. She invites this woman for just a couple days to stay in the back room.
00:10:32
>> This is recent. >> Yeah. And she said she could pay $40 a month and at 6 months if it doesn't work
00:10:40
out, we will she'll have to find her own place. And uh and she said, "I feel bad,
00:10:46
but um are you okay with this?" And I said, "I'm a little nervous about it
00:10:53
because of uh you know, Nancy, just anything people." I said, "Don't give just random people
00:11:00
our address or your address and have them come over." I said, "Maybe you
00:11:04
could help me out with some cash." Anyway, it's all a [ __ ] April Fool's
00:11:08
joke. And I couldn't believe it, Heather. Isn't it great? >> She got me. And I was just going,
00:11:16
>> "Mom, I I I don't know what to say. Isn't it good, Heather? I didn't tell
00:11:21
you >> questions. I was already >> I didn't tell you." And it's so exactly
00:11:25
up Judy's alley to do all these things. And it was She's like, "I got you. I
00:11:30
couldn't let you let you die in the vine any longer. And I was like, oh my god.
00:11:36
Then she told Rosie. Then she told Rosie told her parents. Anyway, everyone I know was we were trying to I should have
00:11:42
done it to you, Dane. It would be so great cuz no one probably got you on April Fools. And
00:11:48
>> and then I realized my brother Andy is in on it, too. It's so He was like I'm
00:11:52
gonna call David and go, "Did you hear what happened with mom? What is going
00:11:56
on? I don't know what to say. I gotta stop this, but they're here." And I'm
00:11:58
like, "They're here." I would have >> Well, it's a great in a way it's a great
00:12:03
turn because I was thinking early onset dementia and then it flips to where where she's very very smart and clever,
00:12:12
you know? It's just a total switch. I mean, cuz $40 a month got my attention.
00:12:16
Where can you get that? May maybe the conga or something. That's a nice >> This place is a threebedroom, three
00:12:24
bath. >> I'll tell you what. I tell you what. I tell you what. out in the world. Um, no
00:12:31
one really carries cash. I know you have a big wad all the time, but I don't
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>> always. >> No. So, >> I stuff it down the front though. It's
00:12:38
for a different reason. >> That'll do it. >> Yeah. I got a big Look at us money.
00:12:45
>> So, what you do is um it's different if someone says, "Hey, could you buy could
00:12:51
you buy me some lunch?" You know, rather than giving them cash and they might go
00:12:55
get a bottle of whiskey or whatever. So, uh, >> I say, you know, I say, "Here's a
00:13:01
temporary subscription to Apple TV so you can watch the new movie Outcome with Keano Reeves because I have a small part
00:13:09
in it >> instead of food or just >> Well, just to give them, you know,
00:13:13
something to do and uh and I think they appreciate that over food or something. >> Well, initially it was like a turkey
00:13:20
sandwich or hamburger. Now they're in front of oros. Could I get a sirloin tip
00:13:26
and a side of uh >> That's smart because they go you go here's $10 for dinner and they go I
00:13:32
happen to have the oro menu here >> and the Craig's menu and >> the swordfish is fresh. Yeah.
00:13:38
>> They even charge for bread. So we got to be by the way I went to Craigs last night.
00:13:43
I saw love it. Hello. >> No, you didn't go to Craigs. That's where careers go to die.
00:13:48
>> No, it's not. It's where there are a lot of hot stars there. Vincent Price, Jaza
00:13:53
Gabbor, >> George Burns. >> Oh, it was fun. Love it. Wanted to go. He loves Craig.
00:13:59
>> I he said he's coming on soon. We're going to have him on. >> Well, I I invited him on. I said, "Come
00:14:06
on and goof around a little bit." >> I will. >> He's a solid goofer.
00:14:15
>> Okay. Well, I have more stories for you. Oh, I have more theater gigs. I have my
00:14:18
last theater gigs are coming up. So I have Nashville >> two weeks. >> Where are tickets right now? If I went
00:14:25
on to ticket master, does it say going fast sing only singles? >> Low ticket warning.
00:14:33
>> Low ticket warning. That's it. You got >> that should be the name of a special.
00:14:37
It's so [ __ ] funny. >> I know because it is you kind of I I got I better get the ticket. I I I don't
00:14:43
even want to see this show. And they they even they even warned me. >> Low ticket warning. Low ticket.
00:14:49
Singles only. Single seats only. >> The Ryman in Nashville. And in that day,
00:14:55
we're going to run around. I keep forgetting to talk about this Kiana Reeves movie, but that's the week
00:15:01
before on the 10th is outcome that comes out. Cameron Diaz, Matt Bulmer, David Spade, Jonah Hill.
00:15:09
>> Drew Barrymore is in it. And uh that comes out. >> I want I want to see that. I want to see
00:15:14
you in a big budget big movie star Keanu >> and you. >> Yeah. So, >> okay.
00:15:23
>> Our tickets going I'm going to buy a ticket. >> You know what's nice about Keanu?
00:15:27
>> Most of my >> was making >> well was trying to put out the fires
00:15:34
because Keanu made maybe every single person on the crew cry. He's a >> because of his sort of benevolent kind
00:15:42
of spiritual >> bad guy. Yeah. >> Screaming. >> Oh, you're saying he was [ __ ]
00:15:48
>> Yeah. >> Worse, >> huh? >> That'd be interesting. Let's see.
00:15:53
>> I guess that would be April Fool's. Uh, no. No, but no one would even believe
00:15:56
that. >> Ke Reeves, don't don't be afraid to kick his ass. K Reeves gets a little
00:16:02
aggressive sometimes. Michelle and I talked about it. You got to go get up in his grill and kick his ass. No, but he
00:16:09
knows Yeah, he knows John Wick stuff. >> No, I know. He's his uh We've talked
00:16:14
about this, but yeah, he's just uh chill. I did a thing with him once and he was and you know, Tom Mans was there.
00:16:22
We're all having lunch at a table and it's Julia Roberts and we look over and
00:16:26
he's he's like 50 feet away at a table by himself and no one else is around
00:16:30
like kids table. >> Come over. He's shy. You know, >> we at the [ __ ] Oscars. Jesus.
00:16:36
>> You don't need to know. You don't need to know everything. >> Whoops.
00:16:41
Others can get out in the neut. >> I signed an NDA. >> But yeah, he's uh that was the the
00:16:49
flight that he took, little commuter flight. It had emergency land Bakersfield and he just bought everyone
00:16:54
a hamburger or something. No, he went on the bus with them and made sure they were all dropped off before him. So,
00:17:00
anytime a someone with power in life, because that's what you have if you're a
00:17:05
celebrity at that level, uh, puts other people first without any publicist around. I kind of tend to respect that
00:17:13
person. >> He was sort of as advertised and loose and just very unassuming that he was
00:17:19
even on a movie set and just uh I play his neighbor in Malibu and I'm kind of a
00:17:24
douchebag. And >> wait a minute, how are you going to get into character? You're such a nice,
00:17:28
sweet person. So, how are you going to play a douchebag? What What kind of method?
00:17:32
>> Start talking cool like LA guys when they talk to you and they brag about
00:17:36
stuff and start dropping names and [ __ ] So, it's pretty sounds fun. >> It's a fun part. Yeah. And he was
00:17:43
>> cool. So, I go to New York for that premiere which will be tonight. >> Tonight you're flying to New York.
00:17:51
>> Well, no, tonight when this airs Monday I will be there. >> Oh, yeah.
00:17:57
>> Mhm. I understand. >> And then um anyway, so Oh, I tell him I'm doing the Ryman in Nashville on the
00:18:05
17th, then Pittsburgh, and then Charlotte. >> Back to Charlotte. That's the last one.
00:18:10
Charlotte's a big one. Big place. So, we got to try to fill it up. I love it.
00:18:14
>> Yeah. Is it an arena or anything like that? >> It's a big theater hold 2,800.
00:18:20
>> What? >> I got to fill it up. That's the hard part, dude. >> Low ticket warning. Low ticket warning.
00:18:27
sort of low ticket warning. >> Um I just had some thoughts about >> Yeah, give me some thoughts.
00:18:33
>> Just just kind of interesting after all this time that this >> the straight of Hormuz
00:18:41
I didn't really get the memo that the straight of Hormuz cuz I think when I look at Car Island straight Hormuz I
00:18:48
think of a Kirk Douglas movie in 1965. We've got to open the straight of the
00:18:54
mush >> and it's like feels so medieval and yet the world economy revolves around 100
00:19:02
trillion this 26. So it's kind of like I guess we ought to have an alternative
00:19:07
plan in case that straight of her moose is ever closed again. >> Oh, we really we're really relying on
00:19:12
this straight of her moose. I call it the S of H. I can't say it enough. >> I know. And I did notice uh Trump in the
00:19:21
last couple weeks has made has said make a deal more than even he does. I think they're going to make a deal. I think
00:19:27
they want to make a deal. They're looking at a deal. We're going to offer
00:19:30
them a deal. They may take a deal. Else we're going to bomb them into the stone
00:19:34
age. You know, it's like take a deal or Barney Rubble. You know, it's it's the
00:19:40
Flintstones. You're going to be like the Flintstones. >> I don't know. people that live there
00:19:45
that want that don't want. It's just such a it's always the same thing.
00:19:49
You're fighting with the higherups. The people that live there are like probably
00:19:53
nice people. It just >> No, it's just probably >> you never know.
00:19:56
>> Suburbs and you know, Iran is as big as Texas or twice as big. I was just
00:20:02
gigantic. >> I don't know. I have no solutions. Peace and love. >> I have no opinions. Ringo's on the other
00:20:08
other podcast, Flying the Wall this and that was a great time. We won't overdo
00:20:12
it, but what a great time. >> He wanted to come on this one who said, "No, no, you got your own."
00:20:19
>> Yeah, we we don't want We can't We have to talk too much on this one.
00:20:23
>> I know. >> Oh, I got another thing. >> Mhm. >> Oh, the Well, I think might be in one of
00:20:28
the stories, but there was a big moon launch. So, people are moon launch. Is that what happened?
00:20:33
>> Well, they're not Artemis. >> Yeah. Artemis Gordon from Wild Wild
00:20:38
West. Yeah. Yeah. The Artemis. It's a pretty big rocket. It's NASA. It's nasty
00:20:44
NASA. It's not Starlink or, you know, base >> old school NASA. >> Yeah. And it's um
00:20:52
>> Cape Canaveral. >> Yeah, there it is. >> It took a lap around the Earth and then
00:20:57
>> it's already done. >> Well, it took off yesterday. I think it
00:21:01
lapped around the Earth and there's slingshotting. It'll be to the moon like on in three
00:21:07
days or it's at the moon right now or whatever. It takes a a while to get out
00:21:12
there and it's going to go further away from the moon, further in outer space
00:21:16
than any any humans have ever been, you know what, the guy stepped in [ __ ] because of course people love this
00:21:22
quote. One of the dudes talking goes, you know, it's great because this is the
00:21:26
first time we've been to the moon and blah blah blah. And then he said, I think he was saying in conjunction with
00:21:32
also doing this, but once he said it's the first time we've been to the moon,
00:21:36
everyone went, I told you >> what. Well, here's the weird part. >> Go ahead.
00:21:43
>> In 1969, early 1969, in July, we put men on the moon. We had a mission to do
00:21:49
exactly this. Just prove that we can go get around the moon. So the astronauts on that thing the rest of their life
00:21:56
cocktail party astronaut man >> getting right and left. >> Did you Did you land on the moon or did
00:22:01
you sit on >> You can't be a bigger star. You could there's no way you could be a bigger
00:22:05
star than >> one of the guys in the moon. >> Walked on the moon. But you you're like
00:22:10
go to a non-star. I I I I I got really close. Got a good look at it. Uhhuh. They they just turn away at the cocktail
00:22:18
party. >> You might as well be an extra. Yeah. You're you're either the movie star,
00:22:22
>> you're the movie star, or you're the extra. >> So, here's my question. Do they have the
00:22:27
equipment available to call an audible? These astronauts, they're really close.
00:22:31
They go, "Fuck it, Houston." Oh my god. >> Cuz I think they're testing a module.
00:22:36
We're going down. We don't give a [ __ ] We're landing on the moon. We're getting
00:22:40
moon dust in combat. >> I love it. One of them goes, "Guys, guess what? I packed." They weren't
00:22:45
looking. The [ __ ] dune buggy. >> Yeah. And the The weird part they have one extra
00:22:53
astronaut and I was surprised who it was. I shocked me but he wanted to go. >> Kimmel. Oh man.
00:23:06
>> Oh. Hey. Everything's good. >> Go ahead. >> He's very joy ON ME.
00:23:15
AH. AH. WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS AND WHAT'S YOURS IS MINE. >> Even the moon.
00:23:22
>> Yeah. >> My mom's up there. >> This is not my fake laugh, but an actual
00:23:28
half cough, half laugh. Yeah. >> You know what's funny? Dana's never
00:23:33
really sick. >> I don't believe in it. >> Good job. >> No. Guess what? I'm going on the road a
00:23:40
little bit, too. And when you start getting in airports and up and down for everybody,
00:23:45
>> uh, you know, it's a recipe for a little bit of a little bit of viral activity.
00:23:50
>> I'm going to ask you a question. >> Okay. >> And you give me your professional
00:23:53
opinion. We're going to let the audience in a little inside baseball. >> Yeah. Okay. This is I was anticipating
00:23:58
this. Go ahead. >> Corporate gig coming up. I was just telling Heather this yesterday.
00:24:02
>> Yeah. >> And it's outside of Nashville, which I love Nashville.
00:24:07
>> And it's a cool place. >> Cool. Well, you know, they have various
00:24:12
duties you do. So, the money is fine. I I say great. It's more like how much do
00:24:17
you do when you're there? Most corporate gigs, you go, you might meet the CEO
00:24:23
backstage. That's all part of it. They have, you know, >> take a picture with their kids, say hi
00:24:27
for a few minutes, go out, you do 45 >> minutes, and maybe take a few pictures
00:24:32
after, whatever. But they like it. Boom, boom, boom. They have [ __ ] to do. They
00:24:36
have some then. >> Yeah. Yeah. You're not there's usually a you're you're kind of the entertainment
00:24:40
and there's awards for the company and all that. >> Yeah. There's a day and there's a year
00:24:44
and it's their people for the yearly thing. >> So they said VIP photos for 15 minutes
00:24:51
with the heads. Fine. >> Sit with them at dinner for the dinner. I I I could do that if that came to
00:24:57
that. That's not a big deal. >> I still haven't done my 45 yet, which
00:25:01
takes some energy. Then this is where they get you. hour 15 meet and greet with photos and I said
00:25:11
>> how many people about and they said around 300 350 I'm like >> I don't think I can stand for an hour 15
00:25:18
I mean I can't and the flashes people don't know I don't like too much light
00:25:23
flashes >> for an hour 15 and then to get in the bright lights on stage because I'm a
00:25:28
colossal [ __ ] maybe America's most >> that's pretty stout I you know I've had
00:25:33
a lot >> I've never heard of that I did a college once in the 90s and I
00:25:38
think I did close to a thousand because all the whole student body but that was just like early days.
00:25:45
>> A thousand. >> It just went on for a long time. But it but that was rare. That was an anomaly.
00:25:51
Usually you don't meet and greet longer than your performance. So you kind of
00:25:56
think >> never. It's usually >> it's usually the top employees and they
00:26:01
go we have 30 people. Is that possible? They have a step and repeat. You have a backdrop of their company, photographer.
00:26:10
They organize them. Everyone's pretty, you know, some people a little juiced.
00:26:13
That's fine. They walk in, say, "Hi, okay. What's your best side?" I put them
00:26:17
where they want. Picture picture. They move on. Thanks for coming to the show. And then they move. You know, it's an
00:26:25
orderly fashion and it's fun. >> Yeah, it's fun. >> And uh and I said, "I can't do it."
00:26:31
>> Well, >> and and they were like, "They're not bending at all." I go, "Can I do 30
00:26:34
minutes?" They're like, "They're not bending." I'm like, "Why wouldn't they
00:26:37
bend? I don't know why." So, >> anyway, these are fake problems, but I
00:26:42
just thought I want to do it. That's the problem. I want to do it. >> I would just say this and I I understand
00:26:47
it that it would sound like not not work, but it's small talk and you want to make a moment with each,
00:26:54
>> you know, couple people coming through and sometimes another one. It's okay.
00:26:58
And they're always a really big meaty guy who maybe thinks it's funny to shake
00:27:04
my hands and I literally after a while I I mean I've been crushed so many times I
00:27:10
start doing this. >> Crush it. They slap their >> giant. HEY, COME HERE LITTLE BUDDY.
00:27:15
>> OH, I get thrown around. They put me in their shoulders. But it's not really I
00:27:19
don't want to meet people. If you didn't say anything and I was in a room and
00:27:24
people were milling around and I started bullshitting, I could be there for an hour. But the fact that you have to be
00:27:30
and honestly here's my neck trouble. I'm like to stand for an hour 15 and
00:27:34
entertain and be like all the energy of that which it sounds like nothing to anyone. I'm telling you and I may be
00:27:40
being crazy and I'll probably do it. Watch. But the show is also kind of it's not super
00:27:46
hard. It's just that takes a lot of thinking and try to make sure >> because it's a tough audience. Yeah.
00:27:54
>> You never bomb. I would say, could I do 150 before and 150 after? I'm trying to
00:28:01
think of >> Oh, people to break it up. >> Or could you send me stuff ahead of time
00:28:05
to sign like Joe >> the next morning and come in and do the other 3,000 people?
00:28:11
>> Yeah. >> By the way, who are they turning away? I mean, it's so it's really the almost the
00:28:17
whole audience, I guess. Such a >> I know. I guess it's one of those things
00:28:22
that I do the the only side note I would say if they can get cuz sometimes you go
00:28:28
to a place they go well there's no meet and greet they kind of cancel it but the
00:28:31
fact that those people really you know that's a lot of people it's like it's
00:28:36
like Christ sinks you know what are you Taylor Swift here >> yeah everybody gets a bus boy spade
00:28:42
popcorn bucket with my face on it which they are making unfortunately uh okay another thing quickly oh we got to get a
00:28:49
story >> that was a great story though. I loved it. >> It's kind of It's kind of inside, but it
00:28:53
makes me look like such an [ __ ] So, >> no, we understand that. We take that
00:28:57
every second. We're just saying these are these are just things that happen to
00:29:00
us. >> It's just odd cuz no one knows what the money is. If it's $50, what I do at $50?
00:29:06
I don't >> Well, people say to me constantly when I'm doing those kind of situations, they
00:29:10
go, "You must hate this." >> Oh, they always say, and I don't hate
00:29:13
it. >> Yeah. >> When I'm doing it, I don't hate it now. >> Yeah.
00:29:16
>> Anyway, I have one more story. Well, Lyme disease is taking over the country,
00:29:20
but that we'll talk about that next week. >> Paul McCartney has been banned on Reddit after posting
00:29:28
photos, videos from his show at Fonda Theater to his subreddit. >> Uh, yeah, I don't even know what this
00:29:35
means. >> I don't even know what it means cuz >> foreign language.
00:29:39
>> Yeah, I have no idea what it means. >> But subreddit is a place I don't know.
00:29:46
Reddit is just place where people go to talk about a lot of things. But I think he posted
00:29:52
something you're just not allowed to. And it's just funny that Paul McCartney
00:29:55
gets kicked off. >> Well, and the assistants have to come up and go, Paul, Paul, Mr. McCartney, I'm
00:30:01
sorry, but you've just been banned on Reddit. Imagine him, the world's most
00:30:05
famous man. Well, you know, I think it's okay. You know, I mean, >> they're [ __ ] on me. Uh, you know,
00:30:11
I'm I'm playing, you know, I'm playing a straight of Hummus to try to get a peace
00:30:16
movement there. I'll be on one of I'll be on one of the islands. I'm going to
00:30:19
try to try to get everyone together. So, I don't know if me be on Reddit, but I
00:30:24
have to ask you a question. What's Reddit? >> Yeah. >> Well, you posted photos.
00:30:29
>> I'm sure he's got someone to uh just yet. >> Oh, hang on, Heather.
00:30:34
>> Heather, I'm gonna send this to you. >> We have audio. you know,
00:30:39
>> so you can get to Phil. I don't know. It's so unimportant, but the Reddit was
00:30:46
more exciting because Paul's got some intern or somebody going, "I've got you
00:30:50
on Tuby, Reddit, Squeeb Squab, all the big ones." And he's like, "I don't know what you're
00:30:58
talking about." And then the guy breaks the rules and Paul's going to jail now.
00:31:04
just after being jailed in Japan for having cannabis on him. That was the last time he was jailed.
00:31:10
>> You should have gone to that show, Paul in LA at the Henry Fonda Theater.
00:31:17
>> Well, what I did was I tried to get tickets and I it I shouldn't have done
00:31:21
it, but I I called up the theater to get tickets and I just um I just made myself
00:31:29
sound like Henry Fonda the whole time. They didn't take me serious. Well, I'd
00:31:33
like to score a couple of tickets. I know the Henry Fonda Theater is hard to get tickets to. I reckon I get a
00:31:41
>> You were handed Henry Fonda. >> Yeah. Or just I I just sounded like
00:31:44
Henry Fonda. >> Yeah, that's a good idea. And you know what the guy said? Oh, really? Who' you
00:31:50
have on the podcast this week, Paul? And you go, "No, Rain." >> Oh. Oh, no. These little I forgot my
00:31:57
toys today. All my >> No, that was my phone. I turned it off. Oh, thank thanks.
00:32:02
>> No, they go. You like Ringo better. >> Ringa dingo dingo. I like them all.
00:32:08
>> I know. We like them all. Ringo was fun to have on though. We had Ringo and
00:32:11
Paul. We just need the uh >> I know. >> Oh, there too. Uh okay. Next story.
00:32:19
>> Okay. >> Oh, this is Okay, stop. This is Abby Hornichek. Hornosac. She, I think, is
00:32:25
the daughter of a famous uh basketball player, but she's also a sports reporter. So, she does one of these
00:32:32
things where they go in and wrestle or assum >> some kind of little fun. >> Watch her try to wrestle. Okay.
00:32:42
>> Oh, hey. Oh, well, there you go. Oh my god. >> Wow. I mean with sound it's like
00:32:50
>> well the only question >> she gets right up >> well can you break someone's neck that
00:32:56
way or is it >> yes >> but I saw a followup with this >> the person that threw her said
00:33:06
well I knew at the end you turn a little bit and it doesn't snap their neck I'm
00:33:10
like it's a little itchy and not scientific. >> Yeah. >> Uh oh. Is this the noise?
00:33:19
>> Whoa. Okay, here we go. Oh, >> I mean that's a slam. I wouldn't for a
00:33:25
million dollars let them do that to me. >> Okay, that's >> No, I mean the time that I did it for
00:33:31
you, it was just it was just fun and the grasp was pretty soft, you know, when I
00:33:35
just threw threw you around. >> But you just hugged me and then we rolled on the floor and I go, I don't
00:33:40
know what what are we doing? You I didn't want to hurt your neck. Why would you guys roll around on the
00:33:49
neck? Is that what you your idea of fun? Such an idea of fun. David Spade. >> I actually like Piers Morgan.
00:33:56
>> I do too. I think he's interesting. I was watching >> funny. I like yours doing it. I like you
00:34:01
doing it. >> Uh it's I'm coming on to it. I was I was watching him and Tucker Carlson. They do
00:34:06
a lot of you know freaking frack together argue. Yeah. They do a lot of that. >> And uh
00:34:12
>> getting another guy in there and the guy was giving him so much [ __ ] Did you see
00:34:15
that? It was a rapper or some I don't know who it was, but they were like, >> "Oh, no. Yeah, he gets people crazy at
00:34:20
him." >> Oh, people are getting [ __ ] pissed. Piers is getting pissed.
00:34:27
>> All right, next one. >> We're killing it, Dana. >> I can't believe it.
00:34:31
>> What's this? Oh, I like when you hear like ancient ruins and then they're
00:34:35
like, "Oh, they were actually set up for Wi-Fi." You're like, "When? 50 million
00:34:41
years ago?" Really? Okay. >> This isn't that. But what is this? >> Yeah. from India has gone viral on the
00:34:46
internet where people charge any device from a stone and the most interesting thing is this is more interesting from
00:34:54
the mysterious Kyasa temple find these places that this temple is known for its ancient mechanisms with perfectly
00:35:02
crafted small details >> when they build these things you go >> they really built this with rocks
00:35:08
>> I I know they sat in the mud and had thatched huts and yet they could build
00:35:12
like a shopping mall with rocks. This is from a single rock. That whole thing >> something's going on. It was built
00:35:25
>> temple. It would take about nine such tunneling machines and more than 60 days
00:35:29
just to process the stone. But the most interesting thing is that recently a video appeared on the internet in which
00:35:36
the author claimed that this technology was passed down to him from his ancestors. And in ancient times, people
00:35:43
used laser technology to process such >> all too much to process. You can nail.
00:35:47
>> Yeah, I can't process this video. >> When they show like Machu Picchu,
00:35:51
wherever they did Emperor's New Groove and all these places, >> yeah, >> there's just so many places
00:35:58
>> in different countries that >> are so well built and so 45 degree
00:36:03
angles, stones that are so heavy, >> you go, "Yeah, they had a donkey and
00:36:08
they had a guy." I'm like, they were like, we couldn't do this this good
00:36:11
today with all our stuff. So, something's going on. >> They had a million guys just with ropes
00:36:18
pulling a stone in the pyramids and then another lifting them up. Yeah. We >> working for a million days.
00:36:26
>> Yeah. All they had was like a a stick and they didn't even have rope and they
00:36:31
built the pyramids. So, I don't know. I want it to be alien intervention to be
00:36:35
honest. I think that's kind of cool. that aliens came down and did a little assist and maybe they'll do it with us
00:36:42
>> and solve the straight of Harm. >> God, the straight of Harm. That's where
00:36:49
it that's getting a lot of press these days. >> If it ends the world, the aliens will
00:36:53
come down and go, "What do you think straight off her?" >> They should go widen it a little bit and
00:37:01
help us out a little bit. Well, we should like never the whole world should get together and go, how can we get
00:37:08
fertilizer and helium and oil all around the world without the straight reviews?
00:37:13
Can we do it with some kind of >> relying on too many? Yeah. Things like that. It's too much. It's too hard.
00:37:18
>> Yeah. >> Uh, all right. Next one. >> New York bill to cut off outdoor lights
00:37:23
by 11 p.m. advances. Passes committee 20 heads to full vote. >> So, is this good or bad? I don't know.
00:37:30
Oh, it's great if you're a a criminal. It's fantastic. I mean, they've done
00:37:36
they've done movies about this. That's the greatest way to increase crime is to
00:37:42
go a full blackout with any kind of street, any kind of light. Yeah. >> But it says a proposed law,
00:37:48
>> dark skies protection. I was telling Heather this, they always name it something that sounds great.
00:37:52
>> Dark skies protection act. Why do the dark sky What is that? What are they
00:37:56
talking about? Light pollution >> reduces light pollution. That's physical
00:38:00
light in your eyes. >> Oh, it protects wildlife. Okay. >> How? How? >> Well, you know, I've never been a
00:38:09
squirrel in Central Park, so I'm not going to judge or put words in his squirrel mouth.
00:38:14
>> And I talked an owl and Al said, "Ho, how?" >> Oh, man. We have owls up here at the
00:38:20
farm. I love it. >> Sarah, >> what? >> Let's ask Sarah Sherman, didn't you?
00:38:26
Oh, Sarah Sherman. I'm sorry I [ __ ] up. >> Oh, yeah. Her little squirrel thing on
00:38:31
update. >> Oh, yeah. When Sarah Sherman was a little squirrel. Well, well, we have
00:38:35
>> She could do update this week and talk about that. I can't wait till it's dark
00:38:38
at night. >> Half of it is that it is really funny and that Sarah is enjoying the costume
00:38:46
so much. Like, >> she loves a weird >> she's having so much fun that it's very
00:38:51
infectious. It's the silliest thing. Best thing you can do is can you play a
00:38:56
girl that is like just a postu zit? She's like, "Oh my god, yes, please."
00:39:01
>> Of course. >> You have an arm growing out of your >> Could someone be pooing it out as well?
00:39:08
>> All right. Uh we'll do one more then I'll tell you the one we didn't do that
00:39:12
I thought was >> Okay, but we do have the alien video. >> Oh, this is it. Let's see it.
00:39:16
>> Yeah. Okay. Alien video. Here we go. Three. >> Well, we'll do about 30 seconds.
00:39:19
>> Okay. claims military breeding aliens and humans. >> Oh, there's no sound. But I'll tell you
00:39:28
what the guy say. >> Oh, we don't need sound. >> So, the guy is in Congress and he says,
00:39:33
"What would you what do you think is going on?" He goes, "Well, I was briefed
00:39:37
last week and again he says, "It would just scare people too much." And he
00:39:42
goes, "How?" Cuz someone else came out this week and said, "There are hybrid
00:39:46
humans." someone else that was sort of wellknown and we were like, "Oh, that
00:39:51
scared me." And he goes, "I see why they don't tell people, but they should, but
00:39:56
everyone would flip their [ __ ] lid. It's too much." >> Oh, I know the truth, so I can't tell
00:40:01
you. >> But he said it was so when he was talking, I was like, "I don't like
00:40:05
this." Cuz he's like an old dude. He's like, "Listen, man. >> Well, what don't you like about it? You
00:40:10
think it's true?" >> He said, "You won't sleep at night."
00:40:12
Yeah. He said, "It's just the [ __ ] they have on." And you go even hybrid people
00:40:18
I would be h I don't like it. >> So you won't offer proof of the hybrid
00:40:24
humans and yet you want us to believe you without any any thing that we could actually look at or see.
00:40:30
>> Yeah. Ideally just believe me and there's no proof at all. >> Well he's trending. He has mar women
00:40:39
wanting to marry him. He's like got a deal with Exxon. Um, look, >> look, look, here's
00:40:46
>> what if you're wrong, Dana, what are you going to do? Are you going to be scared
00:40:48
or not? >> I'm just go back to science fiction. I mean, look, AI was already done in 2001.
00:40:54
How when you know can you >> the the the day the Earth stood still, 1959, spacecraft lands on the White House
00:41:03
lawn, this giant silver robot comes out, has signals, >> stands there, right?
00:41:09
>> Yeah. So, that's what we need. We can't get mysterious. It's buried. We don't
00:41:13
know. We need a [ __ ] alien robot 50 feet tall coming in a spaceship. >> And no one's interested even in pictures
00:41:22
of aliens anymore or UFOs cuz it's all AI is the first comment. AI. So we are
00:41:28
kind of possibly could be hoodwinking unless you see it physically which is going to be the future. In the future,
00:41:34
if you say someone says, "We have video of you robbing a car and stealing it."
00:41:38
You go, "AI." And there's going to be a shadow of doubt. >> Absolutely. You really literally can't
00:41:45
believe it. I I do find myself saying that a lot now to myself. AI. >> Yeah.
00:41:49
>> AI. That's an AI. And so I would love for aliens to come down. I think of it.
00:41:55
If you took, you know, t the Taliban or whatever the Chinese people, Trump and throw in anyone you want, Hitler, throw
00:42:04
in anybody, get them in a spaceship, put them out toward Pluto, and they got a big viewing thing. They can see the sun
00:42:10
and the earth, they would start crying and hug each other. Hitler would be I can't believe it down to what really
00:42:16
matters and how scared. >> We are so alone. It would be the world. >> We're so alone in the universe.
00:42:24
>> Everyone would be hugging each other. >> Yeah, I think so. All everything would
00:42:28
fade away. That or if >> Well, you know, yeah. Stupid problems. Yeah. If Jesus came back came back, that
00:42:35
would be a good >> I get it. Um >> by the way, um Okay, that's it. That's
00:42:42
enough to talk about. >> I think you did a really good job today, Danny. >> I was kind of puppet heavy today. You
00:42:48
weren't that puppet heavy. I like peers. >> Well, listen. You did another podcast
00:42:54
that was slow at times, humorous and others. >> Well, I hope you'll try to do better
00:43:00
next week. Spe, >> good luck with Bus Boys. I saw the trailer looks pretty good. And also,
00:43:07
what's the name of the one with Ke >> outcome? >> Outcome's not a very good title. You
00:43:14
don't want to you don't want to give the outcome to something before you see it.
00:43:19
I don't even know if I need a ticket. David Spade >> Spade you know I out outcome John is
00:43:27
about Keanu is a huge star like Robert Downey he he sort of collapses because he goes into drug addiction and
00:43:35
disappears alcohol and he's making a huge comeback and he's got his best
00:43:40
friends with him not me Cameron and Matt Bow and he well no John hang on and then
00:43:47
he says and then a week before his big movie come back and he's been 90 days sober.
00:43:54
>> He gets a call >> uh his lawyer gets a call. We have a tape on him and it's going to ruin his
00:43:59
life >> and it's going to come out right before the movie. Give us $10 million. So, he's
00:44:05
got to figure out what's on the tape, who's got the tape, and do I pay the
00:44:09
tape? And he has to go re relook at all his relationships and says, "Who actually doesn't like me out
00:44:17
there?" And he finds out a lot of people don't. Well, that's a great story, David
00:44:21
Spain. But now I don't have to see the movie because you told me the whole story. You can't give it all away, but
00:44:28
it was a great movie. Well, you had it. >> Yeah, it's it's not The Cowboys, which
00:44:35
was a great movie I saw to drive in. >> Never give away the whole plot of the
00:44:39
movie. You gave away the whole plot before you seen the movie. >> Really? No. He's he's being um what's it
00:44:46
called when they loves the dance. >> Oh boy, they're dancing. Is this the new
00:44:53
Brokeback Mountain remake? Ah, I do. Uh, anyway, no, that that um Takeaway, what's it called? H howdy
00:45:03
dudy? What's the What's the >> Oh, right. Sorry. Outcome. I'm going to
00:45:08
see that movie in the theater and then I'm going to see Bus Boys uh week later
00:45:13
or two weeks later. Oh, you're going to see Outcome on Apple TV. >> [ __ ] I'm
00:45:19
>> in your own mansion and then you can go out and see Bus Boys. >> I didn't know it was a live streamer.
00:45:24
>> Yeah, >> but they make great movies. Okay, I'm going to put it on. I'm going to Yeah,
00:45:28
I've got Apple TV. >> Keano's being blackmailed. That was the word I couldn't.
00:45:32
>> Okay. >> Okay, we got it. All right. Thanks everybody and we'll see you next time.
00:45:42
Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow
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00:45:59
presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro, and Greg
00:46:04
Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show
00:46:11
is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick
00:46:18
Fogerty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Shuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gainner, Shan Cherry, Kurt
00:46:30
Courtourtney, and Lauren Vieiraa. Reach out with us any questions be asked and answered on the show. You can email us
00:46:36
at fly onthealla.com. That's audacy.com.