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hey guys it's uh spadle spoodle here and um just want to give you a heads up on the podcast uh we have um Fred Wolf today an old buddy of ours and just
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wanted to say that you know some of these are recorded ahead of time often years so if we have like Michael Jackson on he's talking about the Thriller album coming out that was pre-recorded so if
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you hear that one uh but um no but you know uh Dana's obviously going through something um semi unimaginable right now and I can't even uh put it into words so uh you know
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Dana is one of my best buds and it's it's hard to watch this and and his kid uh Dex is what a great kid I don't want to get into all that I'll let Dana talk at some point about it I just want to
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say that this was already recorded and for the rest of uh this uh year we have uh we pre-recorded a few and then we're going to do a few best of but you've got
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some uh great ones coming up including the unbelievable Dan akroy that we did right before uh uh that was the last we
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did it was great Danny Acro is one of my favorites of all time and uh he got to sit in person with us anyway uh and of
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course the Dana really really appreciates the outpouring from every possible angle of people I mean just um
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the amount I got just to relate relay to him and um everyone I think understands
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how difficult and um whatever it's hard to even talk about okay so let's have some fun and I know
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it's almost impossible but um we had a good time with Fred I don't want this to reflect on Fred he's a great guy and uh
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please um have a good time with this one Freddy's an old buddy wrote Tommy Boy David who's our guest this week uh Dana Fred Wolf uh Fred Wolf Fred Wolf
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Freddy wolf is a old dear friend of mine that's standup I think he got me he he tried to get me on at the improvin San Diego maybe or he always tried to get me on CU he thought it was
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funny when he saw me at finny bones in Arizona so I always owed him for that he was always cheerleader for me co-wrote stuff with me Dicky Roberts Joe Dirt um
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was boy headwriter of Saturday Night Life yeah he wrote Black Tommy Boy he's um what's wrong with Anna Ferris house buny he directed house bu writer
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director and uh we got to sit with him I've known him forever and very funny very inside stories about all the above
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uh he knew Farley well he knew everybody he was all of us yeah and so we cracked
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up and I think you're going to like him and you're going to like to hear what he has to say here he is Fred Wolf Fred
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[Music] Wolf oh sh I actually was thinking about that there is a certain like when
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friendships kind of run over where it's like I don't respect the process because you guys are so cool and my friends forever but then you guys are steaming
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mad I totally get it um I think this is my first time by the way ever using Zoom
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with a microphone and earbuds I shouldn't say that probably right I should sound more professional no people
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like no no we've had issues with everybody I won't even mention the guests we've had that were inept So you
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you're a winner because it's sometimes it's been 20 minutes 25 with Wi-Fi issues and stuff you're just saying that
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no I have notes I was going to lead off with Wi-Fi issues this is your first question two with Fred Wolf I go Wi-Fi
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issues first 20 minutes do you think it was I overloading it cuz I've run out of
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topics ran 700th our this is our 711th episode today and I'm I'm running out of topics everybody's talking about the show and I'm supposed to say something like that I know but it's actually the truth everybody
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and there's you all these friends and good to hear well it's really true though I'm not ly and up and that's in
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the Montana area and also the Carmel area they're talking about I hope that's right so we're covering du Duo state
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area also through Idaho all through there too in that too yeah the Tri Cities Danny goes up there and burns
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$100 bills every year for a couple of weeks I just look out Montana Freeman I go to their cabins I talk them down I go
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no the resets not happening yet so uh so the great reset you know why would you have a job when a guy opens jars of
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pickles on Instagram he's doing seven figures large today we're going to do a large dill pickle we're going to open it
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oh that's YouTube yes Dana did you know that there's a girl now you know about only fans I think you and Fred do but
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there's a girl that farts in a jar Heather do you know this she farts in a jar and she makes about a hundred grand
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a year and she sells it yeah I was about to say she farts in a jar that's not the funny that's not the crazy part that's
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easy but she sells it and she has a big market and now I don't want to say this part it's gross but she's she's selling
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boob sweat I'm like where do you go from farts in a jar boob sweat I guess right directly across only is what's the weird
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part of this story and I look and and I look back and behind me he's got 100 jars I go Dana what's in there they're
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like the jars are inside the house that means Dana collects them all right I got let's ask Fred about SNL well let me just say one one thing
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really quick is uh I was doing H sorry guess um I'm trying to I'm so damn excited but I was doing house buone editing House Bunny and cobt and those guys came in and they said you got to see this this is the craziest video I
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we've ever seen and I go I'm tough I can see it they go no you're gonna throw up I've been thrown up for any reason since I was five years old and so I watch it
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and it's two girls in a cup I don't know if you guys know this one it's like the sickest craziest thing ever do I want to
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know it you don't know okay can you well if you know it can you you can't unknow
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it yeah that's one of those things yeah sounds like Dave Davey you know what it is yeah okay so the thing is is it maybe
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sick maybe ill maybe depressed for mankind just really ill well what will it do to our how you explain your boner
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you had during watching it huge boner which is great because I never get to two but I did so I'm watching that I'm
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like sick and I'm like you I'm in my 30s look like 20s and Meanwhile my daughter's 12-year-old friends have all
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seen it on the internet they've all watched it about half the class of a class of 20 have seen that thing at that
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young age tell me that's not turn oh we're just going this nation the only part st's [ __ ] is you didn't look 20 when you were 30 there's no way oh [ __ ]
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the youngest guy really In The Biz actually you two guys are literally the youngest looking guys in the bus you
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always have been and that's that's no [ __ ] uh Dana okay the first time I saw Dana was at the laugh stop in norport beach and he killed and I go oh
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uh he looks young that's the thing that made me the madest and for his age well but I was young well you were it's not
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hard to look young in you're yeah but you look like you're in your teens uh and then Davey I saw him in
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Phoenix first time ever I was probably his fifth time on stage young and uh I thought okay I hate them already yeah
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but then they turned out to be kind of funny Fred did we meet that night or or you just saw me uh we talked I so you
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just set I think about five minutes or something like that yeah at finny bones oh yeah and then I uh waited for you to
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come off stage and there's like a little green room there I go hey Dave me good set not last night yeah you're funny and
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all that sort of stuff and then I took a shot and I go um man I think you really got some I think you really got a future
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in this comedy are you in are you serious about it and you said yeah and so I called the San Diego improv uh our
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buddy Mark Anderson down there oh you got me in there yeah I said hey there's this there's this kid there's this kid
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he's a he's a young pup I was like 19 and then you went there Jesus out of the blocks fast but so were you d right so by the way I have sent D photo
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Missoula Montana since I was up there like four months just got back where I was born yeah and uh I always send you a
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photos so you know once every couple weeks I send you a photo and I always expect you to say oh that's the corner of such and such but you never have and
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so I'm not that involved I know we the Big Dipper is in the M on the mountain from University of Montana the Dipper the ice cream place right yeah yeah parents went to school there brother
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went to school there ding D I know where the Big Dipper is in the sky kind of so
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what was really no Fred go back so you see Spade he's 19 he looks like a fetus with shoes he's like really young looking did he always have kind of a
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voice because you're the first person who just randomly said to me in conversation and Davey's always had that
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voice so Spade has a very cool distinct voice I still haven't learned it but by time we come back for season two I will have mastered it I just do the sound effect David when he does it he doesn't
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do very much but what what did you did he have a voice then or did his voice kind of rich in as he got or did he
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still have kind of what this Timber he has it's very potent at 19 by the way I love those words and those are good words seriously the Timber and all that stuff um I you know Hollywood never knew
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what to call it they called it it you know when someone has it and I think that's part of the package when there's a voice and there's a Cadence or
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something it's natural you can't teach it and yes that was the thing that that stood out because his jokes were awful
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you know how they are Dana right right he he writes on his charm timing but the material is terrible it's so cute he's so cute he think are
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funny but no and then he did Tom Petty and all that stuff and that killed oh the Tom Petty yes yeah you I don't
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understand the world today David was never sweaty he was always cool on his heels a little bit
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very true I love Anna's heels that's another good term yeah um I'm Irish so I got these colloquial Expressions but it was always kind of cool and always made it look effortless so that was
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interesting was I dick when you first met me was I cocky back then in ' 83 no so so this is the true uh this like it's
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hard to say like compliments to people on their face on their show where of course you'd say positive stuff but I'm
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we we deal with ITT okay I just mean I look like so like such a kid but it's so true it's like no um at the last stop I
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was a house MC about twice a week I'd go down there it's like an hour drive down from LA but we w a stage time and then
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Dana you were on stage four reels just just [ __ ] blew the roof off was insane need to choping broccoli and that stuff broccoli was there always keeps appearing that [ __ ] chopping BR
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[ __ ] thing we get that I'm telling you it's moved to the top of the resume because everyone remembers chopping even
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if it's a throwaway in the middle of your act by the way Fred I've never seen Dana not kill I'm not even joking even if he's doing five guest spot anything
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Kimmel always go ahead boom we'll see we'll see there was one yeah I had broccoli Chum broccoli and then uh first of all you're nice but I do want to jump ahead to Dan and always killing us that
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I opened for him one time I mean I've opened for him a few times and I remember one time up in Adventura it was
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I think and uh Dana I I destroyed I blew the roof off I really did and I don't usually yes I remember that and then I in my I remember you had a great set yeah I had a good say and in my I swear
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to God I would never ever think oh that guy can't follow me like a like an [ __ ] but I was thinking boy I wonder
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if Dana's gonna have a tough time and I feel bad for him because he said come on and do some time but the lasts were so long you went on there and I swear to
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God it was like twice my set it was like [ __ ] from like first 10 seconds first of all they're Happ to see you and
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secondly everything you said was like pure destruction and I thought this is insane I better get back into stand up
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I'm getting maybe that's the message I am hey guys it's spoodle uh you can always
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go to Davids spade.com to look at my tour dates because I bless a lot of cities in America with my hilarious standup act or you could not go to it and get on my enemy list up to
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you so let's talk about your journey we do like to talk about ourselves all right back FR but Dana Fred started he
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had a very interesting um beginning you were already on the show you met him I had met him and knew him a little better
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than you I think Rob and I I think I threw in uh his named to Downey I think Rob maybe maybe Sandler um is that correct Fred so far yeah yeah you could take it from there yeah I was kind of
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lucky that uh did a a club in Sacramento uh and the club across town Rob Schneider was was there and he came out to see my set I did 25 minutes or so and
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then afterwards we were talking and uh this is way before any of us kind of clicked and uh he just said oh you're
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funny you're funny and then years later uh I knew you and I knew Adam and you guys got on the show and Dana was the
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king of the of the world there and uh you guys said hey uh he might want to write on the show it might be good to have you out here it might be fun and so uh this was this is gonna sound like
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a huge like this Fred Wolf show here but I will say the Fred Wolf show I you're our guest I'm so careful not to Horn in on your guys' glory here but um but I wrote a sketch and I'd never
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written one before I'd written jokes and all that kind of stuff but a sketch was new to me and so I was watching a show and I go oh okay this is how you write
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sketch I wrote one out this is actually the long journey of this and Dave kind of knows the story but is I wrote it and
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I thought hey I think this is a pretty good sketch here it was called the Mr beler fan club you know and so I sent it
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out to Davey and uh and Adam and Rob and uh they got it to Jim Downey you know and I heard about this Jim Downey Jim Downey he's man yes exactly he was the
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answer to a Jeopardy question a couple months ago by the way oh yeah and I knew the answer right away and so I should
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have been on the show I would have won who does Fred Wolf have a crush on you're like this cannot be Jim Downey
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yeah you're not supposed to say that he gotta kind of play hard go play koi around Jim no so I sent it out to Jim
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and U and then he read it and he said uh apparently he said he didn't really talk to me he said yeah okay let's have him
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come out and do a two weeks guest shot it was like a some sort of setup they had where you can do something SNL does
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where they bring you out for two weeks they bring a writer and just see if they have any G try out a try out yeah and I
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guess it's just to kind of get to know you know who you are and so forth but they like the sketch enough to bring me out so they did they flew me out and
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then uh so I said oh okay they write sketches they do them not read through on Wednesday okay I see I write one of those up I go man how do I do this really fast I wonder if I could put the
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Mr beler Sketch in and so Jim Downey said yes like the third word he ever said to me his life yeah go ahead size five words and so I go okay so I
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Seinfeld was the host my first time out and I kind of knew him so I went up to him and I said hey I might put the sketch in this is it he read it standing
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there I'm standing there with him he's a real silent didn't laugh out loud once and then he gets done reading he says Ah
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it's not my thing man a little too dark I'll read it the table if you want but I I won't want this on this show and my
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heart was like like just jump jumped on my throat like on the floor run to pick up my heart I'm like devastated that he
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didn't like it and also I wasn't going to have a sketch on in even in the read through so by the way so you you know what you were smart you didn't put it in
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read through with a stink on it like that that thank you thanks for saying that Davey I swear because I was it actually I probably asked you I probably
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asked you like what should I do here or whatever but I that was my inclination too is to not sort of give away some of
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the laughs if there were going to be any laughs y so I uh so I held it back and then the next week I almost feel
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providential is Tom Hanks was the host I I'd never met him of course um he looked
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at me like I was most enthusiastic host in history like literally right Tom like something's wrong with him almost yeah
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he's actually nice to meet like the lowest man in tonle he actually called me by my first name um he thought my first name was dumbass but whatever so I
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he read it and he said oh this funny this is funny yeah see how it goes at the uh at the read through so we did and
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it crushed like it blew the roof off and Dana you're used to killing I get it and
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Davey you've killed this I wasn't used to this kind of thing and rush it was like I probably the best Rush of laughs you know could you just quickly give us
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uh just for our College listeners like what do you mean Mr belad like was that based on the TV show and what was the
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gist of that sketch just so I because I don't remember but I remember the name of the sketch I don't remember exactly I
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might have been gone was I there no gone yeah you were gone because Seinfeld hosted once when I was there so it must
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have been his second time okay yeah that sounds right so what's the gist of it yeah so there was a TV show called The M
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Mr beler I think yeah and he was he played like a nanny and the thrust of the the premise of this sketch was that
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um he had a fan club and they were all baty crazy you know the by the way how how swearing on this show fine you anything you want he was sort of a heavy set innocuous show that wasn't a huge
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hit but it was sort of middle of the road that was part of the funny right that he wasn't some kind corny and sweet
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yes yeah it was like Mr Belding or something you know what I mean not not even as popular yeah and his fans were
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bit crazy they were like crazy they and days right they uh over someone that no one really pays much attention to but they uh were they would have and Tom
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Hanks sort of would he would moderate the uh the fan club and they would exercise is like okay next up you know we have to figure out when if we ever see Mr Bader in real life how do we act
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around him I see okay and they all talk themselves okay we do not go crazy we do not try to like cut his hair off save
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his hair for the rest of our lives and and it was you know it was pretty funny it was a little dark because um you know
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one of the things was Phil Hartman saying uh I will not try to tear the flesh wear the flesh be born into New World where his flesh becomes my key
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satanic it's like dark and nuts and crazy and I thought okay this might get just might get a few laughs it did it just blew the roof off which again the rush of that you know we've all done who
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were the the fan freaks did did you have Rob in there or Dave or Sandler who were
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the fan freaks besides pH it was a full cast sketch which apparently everyone said those are great yeah yeah everybody
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was in it and because you have you have an a team of really funny people so I guess everybody probably crushed on
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their when it was their turn yeah they give everyone a question or an answer and they get to go score one line or
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whatever it's great right and sometimes they'll put up with it too you know like the giant stars like Dana those they
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might not want to do one line but this was sort of funny so like for you I would have thank you see see he's so
00:19:48
cool um yeah and uh it was a full sketch and then they it was uh you're right they all got to sort of hit a little bit Farley had something funny to do and then they all make it funni what's that
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was Farley's nickname was Surefire Jesus well he just had a gear and had a thing he did that like you
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can't not he will find a voice or a movement just when they go when sein was a teacher and we were on the class we
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dumb and he goes uh you know I'm gonna ask you one question and Farley sticks his hand up and he goes and it's not you know can you go to the bathroom and then he slowly pulls his hand down like but
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he doesn't he doesn't three jerky movements where you're like all you had to do is put your hand down but he does it in such a weird way that he getes a
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huge laugh and you go godamn that that's kind of what I'm talking about is like the thing that people have where you
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can't teach it there's no way you could say oh when you put your hand down step process yeah this is his natural he made
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it look like a guy just having fun but he was extremely bright about that and very clever with the use of his body I
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remember Mike Meers saying once second said he he could just destroy uh with his character for like a
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half hour and then Chris would just kind of lower his chin or do something with his body and it was just game over the
00:21:01
entire thing was so true was destroyed it's like oh red do like his the maybe skipper from Gilligan's Island whatever
00:21:08
his move it not go back to Farley but uh you know uh Fred you I I don't want to I
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don't want to not talk about Mr beler but uh first of all Hanks is very cool for having a sort of dark sketch and
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wanting to do it cuz he could have killed it but even though it did well sometimes they go ah it's not for me but
00:21:27
that he's cool that way uh and the sketch killed on the air I I wanted to say when you did there was two Farley
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ones you did I think you wrote polar bear maybe and then you wrote falls in the ice hole what was yes yeah Little
00:21:41
Women it was little women that was it I was in that I think I it was me and David Hy Pierce maybe or maybe it was him it was David Hy Pierce yeah yeah it
00:21:48
was him not me I thought he was me and that's but it was all like everyone's acting all hoofy doofy from Little Women
00:21:54
and Farley's if Farley starts out that way your Your Plum Pudding is ever so scrumptious that sort of talk and as soon as he falls through the ice he's like who pull me out of here you [ __ ]
00:22:06
[ __ ] yeah you [ __ ] what are you looking at stop with your oh yeah remember that see that's yeah that's a
00:22:13
great use so far he can yell if he could swear it would be a whole another dimension because his voice when it's
00:22:18
booming like that yeah Max gr gave me this they were all making fun of me because every sketch I would write in
00:22:23
Farley yelling and all caps and you and Max Grand sent me this little graph and it said like uh Fred Wolf writing fornel and it had like these three gauges one
00:22:34
Farley star and then the one gauge set on uh uh La soft voice medium voice screaming and the dial set on screaming yeah and the secondy slightly wet soaking wet
00:22:47
screaming and uh even when far even when the audience knows Fred wrote a ton of movies that I was in also like Tommy Boy and black sheep Dicky Roberts yeah let's
00:22:58
not let's make sure with Farley and those sometimes he would yell and you'd put it in all caps I'm like FR do we
00:23:04
need to bother typing in all caps here I think he falls down the hill for three minutes or eight minutes and goes I he's screaming it's like don't worry he'll take care of that
00:23:16
part that was one of his yeah I 18 eyes five E he doesn't know actually I do I actually wanted to yeah I wanted to say something about that too uh should I just do the uh I
00:23:30
just wanted to kind of say the finale of beler because I just say how how yeah yeah well I what a loser I am well
00:23:37
that's your that's like your first born or something that is your killer sketch on no that's like the confidence of that
00:23:43
but yeah it was pretty cool and by the way I I love talking about Farley so here I'm saying like oh let's do it my
00:23:49
way here this show here but uh I just want to finish up the we'll get we'll get to more Chris and the movies you did
00:23:54
with Chris and David in a second it's about I'm in a Bader state of mine oh yeah we're all back now here we are back in beler okay slipped into a little Dennis Milly there what you doing 12
00:24:05
minutes on the Bel that's a good that's a good podcast is the fly still on the wall out fly just blew his [ __ ] brins out guy can't do Dennis enough love love
00:24:19
his attitude car the car the character of Dennis as well so what happened with beler before we so okay so we do the
00:24:26
beler and then um the musical guest don't worry this goes wrong this goes horribly wrong so let me puff myself up
00:24:32
for a second here I did not want a happy ending thank God go ahead oh yeah Jesus yes I know all sweating is he actually
00:24:38
gonna say something happy but uh no so it was Bruce Springsteen was a musical guest and uh I lies to dude wow I had
00:24:45
three posters on my wall every word of Darkness on ENT town all that and there he was he's out there while they're doing while Hanks and them are doing my sketch and he's out there and I don't
00:24:56
know should I watch my sketch with is the coolest things ever happened to me in my life or should I watch spring scene like just pretending to warm up
00:25:02
his guitar because he's standing there getting ready to do his song and I go I'm going for spring scene I watching
00:25:08
him in the dark there you know how they have lights off on the music while he's getting ready but he's in the dark
00:25:13
exactly not the P Focus strap exactly his tuner yeah but I'm staring at him and uh he's laughing I see him laughing I'm like there's no way he's laughing at his guitar stream just did something
00:25:24
funny and it turns out that maybe he was laugh the sketch I'll tell you so so the
00:25:29
sketch showes on and it does it does well it does great it blows the roof up it did really it was really good and
00:25:35
then after uh Hanks came up to me and he said it was great and all that sort of stuff and uh just it was like bed
00:25:43
Giuliani came up to me uh Dana who's the uh LSD guy from San Francisco Tim Tim Timothy l l God what a cavalcade yeah it was like characters yeah I asked just
00:25:57
Dan knows San Francisco that's the only reason I I'm young I don't know that plus he knows everything so yeah so he came with to me and they're just all
00:26:03
this a funny sketch funny sketch and then spring scene came walking up and I'm like what the [ __ ] is happening here
00:26:08
what the hell he's coming closer he's coming to meet what and he goes hey that schedu really funny they told me he
00:26:14
wrote it that's not a good spring scene at all by the way um and I'll I'll do a pinch hit
00:26:20
there they they told me that sket sure was funny they told me you wrote it that's it that's it all then you're you're he's a bit grumpy old man
00:26:32
I was a little too deep on that one so your best friend okay we met we met uh I said actually you and I met uh Bruce back in the Hollywood YMCA and he goes oh yeah that used to be my spot and
00:26:46
he was looking away were you on the other side of that glory hole I was on the side we didn't really
00:26:53
meet face to face I used to follow you in the bench press I had to put a lot more you used to tell me you'd see him at the
00:26:59
Y honestly back he were he he got into weights heavily yeah yeah he did he said that he want he told me my friend Bruce
00:27:07
he told me that um that working out for three and a half hours lifting weights and stuff was nothing compared to a
00:27:13
concert he said after a concert he rung out like crazy so I kind of believe them because anything you say I was say I
00:27:19
think that's true I think that's true yeah and by the way he told me that he goes I can't believe it they made me take my picture for the YMC ID and like
00:27:27
he was not offended yeah right but he said people should know who I am probably in my head I'm thinking you who
00:27:33
the hell are you take your picture why complain no but so so he said it was good and he said nice and he started
00:27:39
talking and then like everyone's cluster around me and then Jim dowy walked by and said uh good sketch young man those
00:27:45
are the four words he said there and uh I was walking on air and I thought like oh suddenly I'm like I'm like all right I'm cool you know all right so this is my request I just want to go backwards
00:27:56
for like three seconds because I if I was listening I'd be like oh Fred Wolf he was in the clubs uh then he knew
00:28:05
David and Rob and now he wrote this sketch but if you could just like you have some just great onliners or very
00:28:12
short things you've done you having your standup kind of can you just give us unless you can't remember like three
00:28:18
classic because I think it would set the table for why as a standup Fred was really strong but then and as a writer
00:28:26
it was even stronger you had wrote great stuff it's hard to write great jokes David do you have one of a Fred Wolf
00:28:32
classic did yeah here's one uh do you remember this little number so this this club is great um they're so nice me they actually sent a limo to pick me up is a really big limo had a bar in it it was a
00:28:45
gay bar but still it's just a good joke even those are hard close to what it was very good yeah and of course it's funnier when you guys say it okay here's another one I
00:28:56
went to the dentist and the guy goes I have to extract your teeth your your back mullish I'm going to have to do I'm
00:29:02
going to cut a 4in hole in your cheek and then I'm going to pry it open and then I'm going to dig in there and get it and he goes can I just open my mouth
00:29:08
and he goes well I know the first way works I didn't see those are very those are very skilled skilled those are short too they're like boom boom you could open
00:29:22
with those too oh you you woke up with a spider in your bed on your phone was a spider in my bed I thought man I must
00:29:29
have really been drunk last night and I slept with my pillow over my head and woke up the next morning all my
00:29:35
teeth were gone there was a $10 bill there teeth teeth I went on in Montana I did stand up there a month ago or so missing a tooth my bottom tooth every tooth joke destroyed because it was
00:29:48
connected to you missing the bottom tooth exactly pointed that out I was pointed that anyway so that's why you
00:29:54
were able to uh become a great writer because you had some great writing training and standup and standup is the
00:30:01
ultimate uh you can't you can't play around you either get a laugh or you don't it's very painful when you don't get a laugh and you can read a a joke
00:30:09
packet you can read two jokes and go he's got some game you know it's it's very you can tell very quickly if
00:30:14
something is clicking and I'm sure we we probably read Mr Bel here first me and Rob and just in our minimal experience
00:30:20
there thought this is at least good enough to go to the next level or we would have stopped you there and said do
00:30:26
you have anything yeah you know what I mean it was great so give it to Downey because that's a
00:30:31
big thing to give it to Downey you get one swing he doesn't like it you're not going to get another one red probably that's right and you guys were nice
00:30:37
enough to tell me that what was the sad part about the end of a well so so it did great and I I fully expect there to
00:30:44
be more to the story usually in my life and I'm not I'm not like a sad Tech I'm just saying it doesn't come easy a lot
00:30:51
of times because of U uh low self-esteem and so forth so I was walking on air and
00:30:57
I thought this is like the coolest thing I think I've ever experienced you know of this nature and then I everyone was
00:31:04
saying oh you're going to come back as a guest writer that was great no guest writer has ever gotten a sketch on supposedly at that point and this was
00:31:10
the top of the show sketch and did well and people seem to like it and so I thought okay and this was towards the end of that season and so the next
00:31:18
season would start like over the summer would pass and so forth everyone said you're hired you're hired there's no way
00:31:24
this is so great it's going to be so fun having you out there and then September rolls around and nothing like C nothing
00:31:31
even by September you should have known by I know like you were going back and Sandler and uh a couple you know they
00:31:37
were saying like yeah we're heading out when are you coming out wow you guys were so nice about it but um we all
00:31:43
assumed and so when you assume you make an ass of you and me but I uh I called I
00:31:49
called Kenny aong who I've gotten a those this phone call the producer SNL kind of took care
00:31:56
care of did you when Jim Downey was on you guys' show did Dave do his impression of Jim
00:32:02
Downey by any chance I don't remember mine oh my God it was so great because uh Donnie I said Jim you gotta see Dave
00:32:09
do you uh he didn't like it I know I do this I know I do this I go no no it's how you close your office door and turn
00:32:20
to walk away that's what it is with the keys and the yeah yeah physical he looks back right with the keys Dan right with
00:32:27
the KE and around reaching for the keys and looking around like he's going he's trying to hide in that office and the
00:32:33
one foot is pigeon toad the one foot slightly pige to you got the whole thing and even dowy loved it he actually said he liked it so so anyway so I called
00:32:40
Kenny aong the producer right because I said why am I coming out and he goes uh no Fred they're not bringing it back and I go oh oh really I like you have to ask you're like are we still dating he's
00:32:52
like no we broke up three months ago yeah I felt silly for a second wait Fred can I ask you a question so Bader is on like in February March or was it toward the end of the season it was I think it
00:33:04
was like the third to last show yeah and so in the LA final shows you didn't get anything on then or what what what
00:33:10
happened in the post badier shows actually thanks thanks for asking because I they did bring me back for
00:33:16
another two weeks Dent yes and then okay I wrote a sketch that um almost made it
00:33:22
to dress but they said something like hold it this is good but hold it don't let not fiddle with it so much that's
00:33:28
actually part of the story a little bit but um so thank you for asking and thanks for setting it up that's true uh
00:33:34
so yeah so KY m i when I talked to him later when I got to know him I said yeah you're kind of brutal on the phone there
00:33:40
and he goes I had to rip the bandaid off man I've had to do that call so many times it's really rough Jesus to say no
00:33:45
you're not we hate you that kind of stuff he's the me he's just a messenger so and as as anyone would say if they
00:33:52
were telling this story to a 10-year-old and then what happened exactly so uh so
00:33:58
when he said that I hung up the phone and uh at this point I had bought my mother's house for her she was losing
00:34:04
her house up there in Montana a log cabin sare and so I had no cash at all so my girlfriend at the time now my wife
00:34:11
she uh said why don't you move in with me to help pay the bills and all that stuff and I did and uh I kind of thought
00:34:20
I was gonna be working there so I didn't really have a job and so forth so I started you know went out and started doing standup and I was really bummed
00:34:26
out but a week later I said this two ways to go here that's the top of the top of the top and there I was for a second I could kind of just give up to stand up and just sort of you know open
00:34:37
a dry cleaner one day or something or maybe I'll keep trying to write sketches and this is where Davey and and Rob and Adam and those guys came in and uh you
00:34:48
giving me encouragement stuff and I R another sketch and say hey what about this one but then about halfway through
00:34:53
the season that I was not back at I got a call from Rob Schneider between dress and air he said we just did the sketch
00:35:00
that you wrote when you were here as a guest writer it was called St rank outs and we just did it and you're not gonna
00:35:06
believe what happened St Brank outs the host was Joe peshi and scorsi and Robert
00:35:12
dairo came by to visit peshi and they jumped into your sketch and they were two of the guys that Fu it was insane it
00:35:19
was so cool the premise was it was peshi and Adam Sandler I think on the on the steps and everyone walking by they would have some insult to say it's like New York City I grew up in New York City making fun of them when they walk by
00:35:32
yeah yeah hey such and such called they want their such and such back um it was based on my New York City experiences
00:35:38
and uh they became so in that sketch that I had written before I knew pesi would ever do it or anything like that I had written that one of the guys walking by that got insulted said you guys are
00:35:51
[ __ ] and one of these days a real rain's going to come and wash all the scum off the streets and you're going to
00:35:56
be the scum and that line is directly from Taxi Driver my favorite movie of all time sorry was sketching there it is
00:36:03
it's in with peshy and who's out there to does that line shut the [ __ ] up it's
00:36:08
[ __ ] crazy it's it's not it's like there's uh seven billion people on this planet the two people that did that line that I wrote oh my God it was scasi and
00:36:19
daero what the [ __ ] that's awesome crying that's a chills but by the way Bill hater oh we've heard a from a couple guests that taxi driver is their that's their movie their first love so
00:36:33
it's interesting you bring it up as well but to have toiro say the line in your sketch when you Kenny said you weren't
00:36:39
coming back and then Schneider calls you probably sounds like this you're never gonna believe what just happened oh
00:36:47
sorry let me finish don't talk over me Springsteen called me at home during that he go I think this is Fred's I think they're they're using Fred Dana so anyway Timothy lry called said there's a
00:36:59
flying El you're like and then Bruce Springsteen put me in his shoulders again and Sayang for he's a jolly good
00:37:05
fellow I'm like no one really confirmed that part like well that was over back by the uh he made he made I made my
00:37:11
fingers I move a little bit and I asked Fred what chord is this and he says a G7
00:37:17
minor no Fred found out later that Bruce Springsteen's guitar string did say something funny to him and that's what
00:37:23
he was laughing everyone now knows why I hung on your guys' coattails oh my God not at all so that's a Cinderella story so then then what happen do you
00:37:34
get called in for that one do you get called like Hey we're doing get rehired right and you get rehired well so that's
00:37:40
the the good part is I almost didn't care at this point because those guys did my lines but no again silence no no
00:37:47
nothing and uh Rob is the only one that told me it ever happened and so uh it didn't make a show it got cut for lots
00:37:53
of reasons time and what it didn't make the show with did Nero doing a cameo Oh my he yeah and I think I think there's other I think there was reasons how did they botch it God has a plan so you know
00:38:06
let let him do his thing let him do his thing don't insult God geez yeah why are you mad at God D yeah leave God Alone
00:38:13
Bobby but uh and Marty and by the way Rob was so great so the fact that he called and said all last for he was kind recounting blah and he goes I gotta go I gotta go we're going to air so by that
00:38:24
time uh he probably knew it his cut he didn't tell me so anyway uh I that was like about Midway through the next
00:38:29
season where I wasn't there and I go man that gives me hope though that's that they actually you know remember me and I was talking to Dave like Dave we we
00:38:36
talked like at least twice a week and all the skinny and stuff and what's going on we're all really really good
00:38:42
friends we haven't seen each other since the pandemic just so the audience knows we're all very we've worked together
00:38:47
extensively and we'll get to that right that's right and uh yes and uh my two Idols um actually there's five of you
00:38:54
guys and on the line I'm guessing the other three ready okay okay or should I not say it maybe not is that okay yeah because
00:39:06
you'll have to say someone isn't and that'll make you feel worse that's true but if Dana and I made the two out of
00:39:12
five that's good if that's true I said it I I said a five on stage in front of jodor 2 and I felt so stupid because uh
00:39:19
whatever um H so so by how do you be get per how do you get per hired an as a writer this is the plot is thickening now okay well thanks you can't get it
00:39:31
with those two it's like does anyone have hope so I I did start thinking like okay what's up here and so this was kind of you want from me yeah exactly I'm so
00:39:42
good why don't you see J two for two yeah that's right kind of and Springsteen called Lauren yes I don't
00:39:49
know if there's anything there something that kid's got something I swear to God I'm bring said I know you need him in
00:39:55
New York but I need him on the other had that glory hole in La glory hole glory hole every Glory off
00:40:03
no smartless did 20 minutes on it as I was like holy Tomatoes I'm a little bit of a prud but I don't I don't mind [ __ ] swear words yeah so Fred how didd you get hired on this [ __ ] okay
00:40:14
sorry so here we go [ __ ] sorry oh my God I'm in trouble now uh so so so they uh
00:40:21
still radio sounds I never I had never really talked to Jim dowy when I was out there like uh you know he's he the man
00:40:27
he's the Oz he's the guy brilliant rer all that stuff yes he's incredible and uh smart as hell so I figured okay he
00:40:33
doesn't want to talk to somebody dumb because you know how that that could work yeah water finds
00:40:39
his own level he didn't want to find my level so I uh started kind of thinking okay there might be an opening here though so then I started writing sketches and started sending them to Downey and I'll never know if he read
00:40:51
them or not but uh I kind of got a little bit of Hope and I was working and I still wasn't able to get a job just to kind of you know I did stand up and so forth but still broke and all that sort
00:41:02
of stuff and then about four months pass and the next season is gonna is gonna start happening in about a month or so and this is like so hard to believe what
00:41:14
I'm gonna tell you guys and it's like a huge brag I can't help it I love this in one day uh brother seven what's that own
00:41:22
it brother okay I I am again this providential and some way is I got uh in one day in a seven-hour period I got three phone calls one the first one was
00:41:34
um Chevy Chase called me on the phone Chevy Chase he had a new show talk show and he wanted to know if I want to be a
00:41:40
writer and I said yes sir I do and so I hung up the phone going I got a job and swi chy Chase and iiz that guy then the
00:41:48
phone rang about two hours later and it was uh Smigel saying do you want to come right on the con and Brian show they
00:41:53
were just starting that show late night wow Smigel champ oh my God I couldn't believe it and I go oh damn I'm working
00:41:59
for Chevy Chase and uh my God I can't believe you called me then two hours later Jim Downey called me all in one day all in the seven hour period Downey called damn man we were thinking about
00:42:11
bringing you out to work on S lives writer and I said oh my God in heaven I want you so bad um I said yes to Chubby Chase and Downey actually on his end got out a calculator he said and told me
00:42:23
what I would make on the show and all that sort of stuff and he I think you might be better off out here in terms of
00:42:30
and all that stuff he was actually trying to talk me into it I'm like what the [ __ ] happened here but because I
00:42:36
said yes to the almighty Chevy I did that show and I did that for about 11 weeks and then it got canceled and the next day literally the next day SED you know I got on a plane and I flew out
00:42:47
there and I got to siren life okay one last thing to WP you blew off Conan uh yeah [ __ ] him I mean Conan and smigle is a great combo to and to say no
00:43:00
but you one day before you would have do of course Dove at that yeah and I uh to
00:43:06
be fair I didn't know con that well so I didn't know few like my stuff but SLE was like yeah he was you you had an SNL
00:43:12
you know that that's that's the thing you know bril was he was beginning his Superstar career at that point yeah and
00:43:19
so and so just to just to kind of put the little Capper on the end of it so I flew out there and I was so excited of course I was there and he about serent
00:43:24
life and in my first week I will say this my first week oh the show had already started too because uh chbby was
00:43:30
on for 11 weeks like I said and uh the show had started and my first week there like everyone was going I night welcome
00:43:35
back welcome back and there's new writers there and all that sort of stuff and first show was some I forget who the host was but I put sketches in and there
00:43:41
were 20 Page sketches and those are bad 20 Pages it ate it so hard it got no laughs the first sketch and then Lauren came the second sketch in the pile of 45 sketches and he's moving on and he put
00:43:55
my sketch in the oh and people were not looking at me after the Dave talked to me robed to me Adam talk to me so was the the bad boys
00:44:07
were still there there was still Farley Sandler Spade yes and they all talked a lot of people didn't talk to me because they thought oh this is a guy that they flew out this is the guy they were talking about so they it ate it it
00:44:18
tanked and all that stuff and then the next week luckily and just to finish the story I put in something for uh uh
00:44:25
Christian Slater and got on the show and it did great and everything was fun was it Dysfunctional Family Feud no but man
00:44:32
is that funny Dam that was funny yeah yeah no it was yeah it was What photograph store or something like but it was just fun and there I was and I was super happy and I met you
00:44:46
guys remember Fred we wrote the heroin store was that me and you yeah yeah where all the all the windows were taped
00:44:52
up with aluminum foil and everyone everyone was on heroin and the every time someone opens the door to come in shut the door hey come on and that's
00:45:00
where you you had in there it's written in there you had uh we need more cowbell
00:45:07
they were writing a song the hering guys were there writing a song at the store and uh and you're you're lying I
00:45:13
remember saying uh one guy says we need more cowbell there's no way that frell heard that but oh my God you said it
00:45:21
first we need more cowbell I always remember that I'm gonna get on the line here as
00:45:27
we Contin um no he he wasn't there then so he didn't hear that you had a great run
00:45:34
uh and and I think Fred we uh Chris Rock left then Adam and Chris left and then I
00:45:41
I left and I think you stayed a year and you were bumped a headwriter yeah that was really cool so uh yes
00:45:48
that's exactly how it happened so had a few years there and we you and I did a few movies and so forth and so oh right
00:45:54
this is actually kind of funny so I was uh C I have a question yes sir about those few
00:46:00
years so did you uh you became adaptive to the show you learned you like this is
00:46:07
the kind of sketch that works on this show I mean you must have had a huge learning curve to become headwriter because then you have to manage people I
00:46:14
mean all of a sudden you're headwriter from having a rough time getting on the show was it like a three-year period
00:46:20
where you must have really mastered the show they don't make anyone headwriter that's a big deal that's ni you say that
00:46:25
and uh I I will say uh to Pat my own back yes I I kind of stared really hard at every sketch and just Saidi wonder
00:46:32
how this will go wonder what Don would think of this I wonder how this why did that get this hook I mean why is this
00:46:38
why did this click and so forth and it was a very fun thing to do it's like one of the only things I actually could do
00:46:43
okay which is sort of analyze something and say okay this it's it's funny because uh Dave and I have talked about
00:46:48
this before in Tommy Boy the the scene that blew the roof off in front of test audiences was a deer waking up in the
00:46:55
car and trash in the car and the audience they just went nuts when they saw that and then when Farley is putting
00:47:01
on Dave's jacket fat guy a little coat test audience say they go yeah yeah yeah but then like 20 years later you ask people about Tommy Boy and they'll say fat kind of little coat that's what like
00:47:13
lives on they remember the most throwaway jokes they have to see it so many times and then it changes of what's
00:47:19
their favorite yeah yeah and plus also there's gut laughter and then there's that thinking laughter and there's just
00:47:25
those like a Jack Handy sketch for instance just has that just beautiful thoughts in there and this you might not
00:47:30
laugh out loud like crazy but there's just something about them that stay with you and I would study those I would
00:47:36
study Dana Dana I would study uh when Dana did Tom broof for instance one of the funniest things I ever heard just
00:47:42
the voice the Cadence and why would they get a laugh someone else doing Tom brool me doing Tom brool nothing zero and so
00:47:48
there was just something about it and I would study that I I had Davey's voice in my head uh or we have the same same
00:47:55
sort of background same almost same number of Brothers now uh Dave's got two brothers I had three but um and we're
00:48:03
both from a certain type of background I kind of knew his thought process I knew why he was funny because he has that voice that Cadence and so forth but I
00:48:10
wouldn't know like Adam Sandler I'd say okay what what is it about him why is he special what is going on there what's
00:48:17
happening and you start saying okay I could tailor it towards that tell her toward this or I could do something a little bit out of the ordinary and it's
00:48:23
the one show I think that was on TV that time uh they just had something interesting going on where it wasn't as
00:48:30
Lauren would say uh we're not doing Carol Bernett he would say he loved that show but we're doing something where it
00:48:36
might be a little bit odd here and there the five to one piece remember we would call those yeah right the at the end of
00:48:43
the show it could be it would be a gamble piece it might not work right and it would be a soft quiet piece or
00:48:48
whatever but they'd take a chance on they just put it out there and some people would love those pieces they had the cult following so so yeah D I answer
00:48:54
your question yeah there was so that was great and then all of a sudden you're writing by the way Downey used to always
00:49:01
say he didn't like bits that play to the we you call the yahoos or the people not really a laugh but you know that he didn't want that
00:49:13
but uh so then just because this is you and David like so go go down the movies like you know obviously Tommy Boy you you punched up right
00:49:26
yeah and wrote a lot on that and then you you guys did sequels you did Joe Dirt so why don't you guys talk for a
00:49:31
bit I'm just gonna I'm just going to listen oh but Dana you were such a big part of all this stuff because uh we all
00:49:38
wanted to make Dana laugh uh one thing I will Lauren wanted Jim Downey to do a pass on Tommy Boy and Downey said to Lauren that he would he would do it if I
00:49:49
would do it because um you know it' be fun or whatever and they wanted Downey to Flat to LA and do it so I did it with
00:49:56
him for about three or four days and then I knew the director of Pete seagull this is before David had a giant part in
00:50:03
this whole thing but uh so yeah so that happened about a season three Dave or something like I don't know uh I forget what year that happened but we were writing that and I think uh because that
00:50:15
was such a great experience and a lot of wild stuff and Dave and Chris flying back and forth Toronto I think we were
00:50:21
in the trenches all of us together the these guys worked much harder than I of course all that flying back and forth
00:50:27
you guys so so uh actually there's a friend of mine uh Annette and they listened to the show like religiously
00:50:34
and they said can you talk about when you're on the show what the week is like at SNL this is a perfect opportunity to
00:50:39
do it is on Monday we sort of beat the host and we all sit in Lauren's office and Pitch out something then on Tuesday
00:50:45
and Wednesday we write like crazy Monday night too write sketches and on Wednesday There's a read through and uh
00:50:52
the they read about 40 sketches and they pick the ones that going in the show and then Thursday and Friday they build the sets and they get ready for dress on
00:50:58
Saturday and Dave and Chris were flying back and forth they would be there I think you would meet the host on Monday
00:51:04
right then fly out Monday night is that how it went no we would shoot Sunday Monday Tuesday come in for read through a read through on Wednesday and then we go back that night you would fly out
00:51:14
that night after read through right where were you flying to were you shooting in Canada Toronto Toronto and you're shooting Tommy Boy and going in
00:51:21
and out yeah and then we we'd shoot Thursday and come back Friday morning and rehearse and do the show Saturday
00:51:27
and then leave after the show get the block yes or if Farley wanted to go to the rap party we'd have to wait but
00:51:32
we're shooting Sunday morning at 7 so I go can we skip the rap party no you said you said if Farley want to go that was his him speaking softly no
00:51:45
yeah my dial was set incorrectly it's got to be screaming and wet but uh so oh so you did you guys film on Sunday then or just oh wow Jesus that sh that with
00:51:55
Rob blow where we're in like a m you know where they're making cars and Rob blow gets hitting the balls and I don't
00:52:01
want to give the whole movie away but Roo and then I think acoid in it's the only day we could all be there and we
00:52:07
could rent this place and we shot 24 hours we've never done that we just kept shooting so we didn't have it done so we
00:52:12
went all the way into Monday and then we just you know that was a beating but it
00:52:17
was it it obviously worked out we'd call Fred if he didn't fly up with us and say what about this we're thinking of like
00:52:23
is it a clip on you know just little throwaway jokes where we're putting everything and I'll let you finish but
00:52:28
it all worked out thank God and that's why we tried to do black sheep the following summer I I got married and I
00:52:34
uh while we were writing this thing getting trying to get it ready I got married and we went on a honeymoon and on the plane I saw the the the guys
00:52:40
giving the uh the directions the flight attends giv the directions so I uh I called Dave as soon as we landed I go
00:52:47
hey what about you guys r on an airplane and you g them flight directions and Dave said oh yeah what about what about
00:52:52
um what about singing Superstar um the sing a superstar and they changing the the the radio channel and we're like I'm
00:52:59
like oh my God this is so [ __ ] great and so I'd type it in on my honeymoon and my wife got really mad I think she really did she was this supposed to be a
00:53:05
honeymoon I go back off so you go turned into a money mooon and and it was like it it was the
00:53:13
best it was writing like sat live stuff so one of the cool things is Lauren started like knowing my name a little
00:53:18
bit it was nice bread go we all do dinner that's FS I ever done Lauren Michaels starting an outboard motor okay he's in a little motor he's like no no no no no no no no
00:53:35
no no sorry now he's started and he's driving it yeah you know he's pulling the cord on the Evan Route no no no no no not started no no no no no no
00:53:49
no cuz Lauren when Lauren for inside baseball when he would explain things and you would ask a question before he
00:53:56
was finished explaining it's that thing of like you get married and you mean it's it's important no no no no no no no
00:54:02
don't misunder understand me that that was his insert so anyway go ahead Lauren and I Lauren and I were walking through
00:54:09
Beverly Hills we do these like two hour walks and I loved every second of it I wish I like I kind of wish he was my dad
00:54:14
because my dad was he's all of our dad in a way right because I had no dad but uh we'd walk through bever Li one night so Austin Powers opened that weekend on I went and saw Friday the night had
00:54:26
opened at the Chinese Theater and then he and I were walking on Saturday and we're walking and all a sudden he goes I
00:54:31
hear by I'm doing dinner of course I hear that Mike is doing me in the movie and I go uh oh I just saw the the night before and he was like identical to
00:54:43
Lauren like there was no like nothing was nothing but Lauren and I'm going like was he I I I heard he was did he have to name him Dr [ __ ] evil
00:55:00
but it's true yeah I could see from Lauren's perspective yeah yeah yeah however I think Lauren I understand he loves it of course he talk to M about it yeah there was a lot of James Bond
00:55:13
villains in there Lauren is a great character and he has a great Rhythm and and an incredible
00:55:19
intellect so fun fun voice to do he he was going to be my drunk parents I had him all lined up was goingon to do it he
00:55:25
was going to do it he said yes he would and B well Alec bow and I both called and he was going to do it and I wanted
00:55:31
him in it so bad but we had to change the schedule around because snowed or whatever anyway so U by the way when we walked through Beverly Hills uh for
00:55:38
about you know a couple years when I first started walking Lauren had walked down the middle of the sidewalk and I'd
00:55:43
be walking like over the roots the tree roots all the P just duck branches French Kings yes and uh trees are violent
00:55:56
I started knowing maybe I was Rising a little bit when I started walking like on a little inch of the sidewalk and i' take my little part of the concrete but
00:56:02
uh he basically we were walking and he talked about what it would be like to be a head riter and Jim Downey at this
00:56:09
point was looking to cut back on his hours and work with Norm on stuff and uh we get to corner of where Nate NS is and
00:56:17
he just turns me go was wondering if you wanted to be the headwriter and I cannot believe I said this first of all I can't
00:56:23
believe that that happened went from like nothing to that and then for some reason
00:56:28
it came out of my mouth I go sure if you'd make me a future player and he said done like that it was all one
00:56:35
sentence and you said da da he said who the [ __ ] are you to ask me or tell me anything then he picked
00:56:41
you up and carried you I want to that's like a movie thing I want to do that at some point someone asked me about a
00:56:47
negotiation and I'll just say done D I know D's a great one I just one word done no no no no no no don't talk anymore it's
00:56:58
done it's just so it's very lur he's brilliant done means done so you barely got on the show now you write Tommy Boy and then you're the
00:57:13
head writer this is the 90s late 90s your your career is taken off do you get kind of a big ego are you kind of I'm
00:57:20
just kidding you're very self-deprecating the whole way through right I think was super low self-esteem
00:57:27
what I got to is like normal no I'm I'm joking I uh no I was very proud of it I was very proud of hard I work to do it I
00:57:33
was proud I didn't give up but uh no I was always sure that something was gonna happen they're gonna pull the rug out or someone's gonna find out what a fraud I
00:57:39
am so I don't know if I had time to be luckily they haven't yet not yet yeah but then you went Black Sheep then he went we did Dicky Roberts that's us two
00:57:51
together writing and then we did Joe Dirt and then you went and then he directed House Bunny which was a big one
00:57:57
you know that was a great one House Bunny was a hit was a BL you know one of the things about House Bunny which I get to say is Anna Ferris has that certain
00:58:05
thing we were talking about and Emma Stone there's that something where when they come in like when Emma came into
00:58:10
audition for that uh part in house buy where uh I'm gonna sound like I think I'm a genius I'm not I'm just saying
00:58:17
this is the one thing I'm pretty good at is when she left the room she had read for one part and I told Heather Heather
00:58:22
Perry I said that she could any part she wants in the movie that that and she was 18 years old when she came in there was
00:58:28
just something about her I want I want to tell you guys this has to do with you guys and Dana you were the king at this
00:58:34
point so like like literally the king like when you got SNL everyone all the comics in La were talking about it everybody because you were mostly based in San Francisco so you weren't around the LA scene as much but we all knew you
00:58:46
and everyone would talk about you so it sounds like you're being left out of this you're not you were huge and everyone wanted to be Dana Carter but um
00:58:53
I was working the first first TV show I ever got was called two Hip for TV and it was on NBC Daytime and Brandon tarov
00:59:00
I don't know why but he came to my office and said you're a standup comedian right and I go yeah I've really fny jokes want hear and he said could
00:59:07
you tell us the names of some comedians that might be good to host this show and
00:59:12
I said sure of course and so I took that weekend and this was really interesting to me is that I made a list to like all
00:59:19
my friends this is a chance to get somebody work or and what year is this 88 1988 yeah and um and so I made this
00:59:27
list and I remember like I have friends and I would say like uh Dave know some of these guys like I would say Tim Rose oh he's funny guy but maybe wouldn't show up on time or whatever I shouldn't
00:59:39
say the names but and I kind of went through all my names and the ones here's the five that I settled on that I thought had What It Takes they were totally unknown at this time had What It
00:59:51
Takes had that certain something had it the Charisma would ch on time know how to shake hands know how to talk to
00:59:56
Executives and would know how to memorize the stuff that we had to do was have our show comedy and the five names
01:00:03
and they were completely I love this buildup yeah it was Rob Schneider David Spade Adam Sandler Colin Quinn and George Clooney
01:00:15
holy [ __ ] those were the five tot and Colin Quinn got it they he got the host they blew off Clooney yeah I think uh if I remember Dave and
01:00:29
Rob auditioned for it together for some reason yeah we did stuff together back then I mean they would bring us in
01:00:34
together um and I think who got it Amit Zappa dzel Zappa maybe yes it was Colin Quinn and Amit Zappa good memory dang
01:00:41
dang because I was Furious you should have been actually there was one guy have the voodoo
01:00:48
doll I remember there was one guy I want say his name I I thought I'll put him on the list and then when I talked to him
01:00:54
about it he didn't seem that excited and I thought oh he's not going to even show up for the audition maybe so I kind of crossed his name off but uh and that guy
01:01:01
was I was clean no but all kidding aside that those are the five names and uh there's just that certain something and
01:01:07
so House Bunny was sort of a cakewalk because Anna had that something just a little arithmetic because you you're
01:01:13
good with numbers like that that Co that Cadre that that five if you had to just
01:01:19
write now on a quiz show what is the net worth of those five individuals in 2022 is it 700 million 900 million or one
01:01:33
billion so Dana when he was doing House Bunny Fred when you were doing House Bunny uh remember I did a I knew house
01:01:41
didn't I don't know if I read it but you were like it's five women and they're all funny and and I just done something with Rihanna and she was so new and I
01:01:48
said you know who's got that certain this girl's unreal she's gorgeous she's talented it might might be too late cuz
01:01:55
she's singing and I don't even know what she's doing but I don't know how I ran into her and then you said yeah let's bring her in and you I think you did
01:02:01
literally bring her in and talk to her yeah and then she was going on tour yes that's right oh she couldn't do it and
01:02:06
she would have been great it was really early in Rihanna's career yeah because anytime anytime guys like you brought up
01:02:13
a name like that obviously all hands on deck but yes she came in and met and it was really cool and she was great and she would have been great in the movie
01:02:19
oh my God it would have been unbelievable but um I always there's this guy named Mike Sor and he's he's a
01:02:24
really good guy he's a ex Special Forces FBI now and um he's like a like a hot shot you know and he actually mentored my daughter my daughter in the FBI uh
01:02:35
just started three weeks ago and I'm super psyched your daughter is in the FBI she just started yeah she training
01:02:41
yeah training okay that's that's a news flash wow and you met Molly you know course all we can say about sweet sweet
01:02:48
little and now she's like two daughters great I'm not going to play games I want
01:02:54
answers and I want them now I said something the other day she I'm gonna put you on a no fly list but uh anyway
01:03:01
so when she's mad yeah yeah it's funny but sanor is like this like super tough guy and uh I always think like like what are you who are you that you're a special force that
01:03:12
you die for your country that you would do all this sort of stuff meanwhile he tells me like stupid little jokes in Tommy Boy and like I'm like I can't even
01:03:19
believe he knows the movie let alone like laughing at jokes he's usually laughing at Dave stuff but it's it's
01:03:24
just like it doesn't make sense to me this whole laughter thing Dana when you uh there's so many stories so many stories but anyway uh sorry sorry so how funny was Cakewalk sorry because uh Anna
01:03:38
was is Anna was a star she got such a great Charisma about her she's funny she's likable she was that was like the
01:03:45
perfect movie for her it's yes it was and uh and Emma Stone just had that sort actually the entire cast just had that little was in it there's a lot of people in it yeah yeah yeah what about Dirty
01:03:57
Work I want to hear about that before we got to go oh so let me do let me tell you about Norm really quick so dirty work uh so Norman this I'll never know
01:04:05
exactly how I helped but maybe it did so Norman was also a friend and so uh I was outside in the office waiting to meet
01:04:10
Lauren for the first time to be a guest writer and uh I was sitting there for two hours and I remember uh Chris Rock came and sat down people say you're not going to wait for you're sitting out for
01:04:21
two hours they say I'm G to leave man I'm going to show my man no you will not get the
01:04:28
job and so everything is like a army movie or something you stay seated private go ahead friend and so I was in the out area and
01:04:40
there's all these people always outside Lawrence office there and there's maybe 40 people there at least 50 I hear one
01:04:47
of them saying we saw this guy named nor McDonald last night performing at the rising star catch rising star and I hear
01:04:53
that and I and I called over go oh are you talking about nor McDonald and they go yeah we saw him last night um I think
01:05:00
he might audition for the show and I go oh was he funny and I go he was really funny I go you want to see his act so
01:05:07
yeah and so I stood up and did like about maybe four or five minutes of Norm's act while get and destroyed blew
01:05:15
the roof off and Lauren stuck his head out of his office what's what's going on what what's the come on one of them said
01:05:22
he's doing nor mdll he's doing nor do you remember one of the lines I probably wouldn't right you remember one
01:05:28
of the lines you said oh the game show what's the it's me Bob uh oh I know I put you on the I got one One D yeah he goes he goes I saw it what he goes I saw
01:05:41
a homeless guy with a dog on the corner laying down and he goes this dog must be thinking this is the longest [ __ ]
01:05:47
walk just walking be over I got one too now my uh is H some people say uh uh you
01:05:53
know I'm an optimist there you know I got an optimist uh and there's a pessimist you know pessimist looks at the glass and says uh no no an optimist
01:06:01
looks at the glass and no no a pessimist looks at the glass and says that glass is half empty I'm a pessimist I look at
01:06:07
that glass and I say it's half full but I think I might have bowel cancer okay here's M I don't remember that one that's a
01:06:19
great one I like Norms um he take a figure speech clo whatever and just turn it yeah know they say like a they say like a penny Sav is like a penny earned
01:06:30
right that's a that's like a 100% return right that's too much isn't it I mean come on that's it that's it well he would
01:06:42
just take a he would take a figure of speech and just run with it in a casual way making funny somehow stitching time
01:06:50
you know what's that a stitching time like like what do they got there's seamstress up there and is who's still
01:06:57
stitching still stitching you know so anyway that was Norm we office and I I would look to he never wrote anything
01:07:03
down he had nothing written down I would look for it go through the drawers like where was it what the [ __ ] he came back
01:07:08
once uh he came back from uh he was opening for Bill Cosby and he came into the office late like I was there at 3:
01:07:13
am he came walking goes I was open for Bill Cosby know I go I'm making this fast he goes uh yeah yeah I told him I
01:07:20
said I didn't know what to say to Bill goby a legend of all time you know so go I go here you're you're my father's
01:07:25
favorite comedians ever lived and Bill Cosby goes well let's call your father on the phone no you don't want to call
01:07:31
him on the phone hey you're a huge star you don't want to be on a fun with my father he's canid I don't want to do
01:07:37
that I didn't know what to say to Bill Cosby because my father had been dead for like 10 years I was lying yeah
01:07:43
that's very Norm God Rest his soul the greatest love Norm he's a man he's good he's good good good good Canadian I was just up in Canada norms and legendary oh
01:07:54
yeah on Dirty Work Dirty Work people would run up to Bob Saget the director they would like like like there'd be 100 people around him trying to get his autograph when we were shooting in Canada in Toronto and then Norm would
01:08:05
have like four people walk up that idolized him like a total idolization you know it was like a different fan
01:08:12
thing okay three words to close out this just be I'm gonna be representing the fans Joe Joe Dirt 3 huh
01:08:25
I'm just being I'm representing the fans right now Dave Dave had an idea of the Joe
01:08:31
Dirt sister I I feel like we I feel like we should do a joder animated because we could do it forever and I wouldn't look
01:08:37
so old but I feel animated would be crazy and we could do uh anything we wanted and still have the voices and we
01:08:43
could probably get walk in and everybody and it would be great but I don't know how to do that that'd be cool walk
01:08:49
Walking I hear maybe another J J that people tell me all the time Joe Dirt you know do you know people they have seen it like he's he's
01:09:02
he's always shocked that someone remembered it or knew he was in it didn't know what they thought never got
01:09:08
over it you better watch your tone watch your tone is a great one watch your tone
01:09:14
watch tone is a good way to he tells Kid Rock to watch his tone hey disis disis was good just now I I never heard did you want no well I had I did a jack candy sketch with him once where we're
01:09:24
in a wooden spaceship on ADH rehearsing the idea was the the land the landing gear would come down or the door would
01:09:30
come down and kill an Earthling so we would come out like we come in peace to see you in and then they' go kill him
01:09:37
kill him kill him and then he would always say let's get out of here and then we go off the we go in the little wooden spaceship and we're tight quarters his head is like an inch my
01:09:48
face and he's just red face laughing so hard at the idea let's get out of here it's its own dialect Chris tell can I say real quick walking okay real quick walking story real quick yeah okay is H
01:10:00
we're right in Continental it was his idea Continental was totally his idea they he had done it on the show before po of the camera air man yeah office and
01:10:08
uh it was just me and him and I wasn't having enough course so he uh I said hey what about if uh you you go I have
01:10:14
fallen for you and I can't get up and uh he said I don't know what you're saying
01:10:19
I go oh there's this Life Alert commercial where the lady goes I've fallen I can't get up goes no I don't not no and so I go oh no you just say
01:10:26
I've fallen for you and I can't get up no what a what what no and so he kept say no and finally he said don't bring
01:10:33
it up again no more no more and it's like okay so on Saturday on Saturday so we had a sketch and I put it on Q cards and uh and I go up to the walk and it's right before dress and I go hey Chris I
01:10:45
mean maybe maybe just like if I just sneak in right here all you have to do is say I have fallen for you and I can't get up I this and okay put it on the the
01:10:53
cards like really mad and so I ran and put on the cards and dress Ral goes and he comes to that line and it [ __ ] destroys it just blows the roof off laugh goes forever calar leaves flying
01:11:05
off the wall just forever and so I'm waiting for him as he comes off stage for dress R I'm just stand there all excited all excited he walks by and he
01:11:11
goes I don't know what I said but I'm saying it again he had never seen the commercial
01:11:18
he had no idea what we're talking about oh man all right well that's it for Fred
01:11:24
we actually go on and on but comedy allar writer comedian all around also wrote grownups and grown-ups too jez uh that's some huge keeping the lights on
01:11:35
TBS for the lastu many Pat s Jack so show MTV music mov wildness strange Wilderness and on and on and on huge resume can't get to it in one podcast thanks for having me
01:11:49
on you guys might have you on again we might okay thank you so much it was it was a blast thanks Buddy Bye Dana see you guys this has been a podcast
01:12:01
presentation of cadence 13 please listen then rate review and follow all episodes
01:12:07
available now for free wherever you get your podcast no joke folks fly on thewall has been a
01:12:14
presentation of cadence 13 executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Chris corkran of cadence 13 and Charlie
01:12:21
finan of brillstein entertainment the show lead producers Greg Holtman with production and Engineering support from
01:12:26
Serena Regan and Chris Basil of cadence 13