Search Captions & Ask AI

Am I Still a Homeschooler? Let’s Talk About It | #32

April 03, 2025 / 12:16

This episode discusses the definition of an ex-homeschooler, personal experiences with homeschooling, and the impact of those experiences on identity.

Jacob Gooden, the host, defines an ex-homeschooler as someone who has experienced homeschooling, regardless of the duration. He reflects on his own journey from being homeschooled through high school to attending college.

He shares how he initially hid his homeschooling background in college due to preconceived notions about homeschoolers. Over time, he embraced his identity as an ex-homeschooler, recognizing both strengths and weaknesses stemming from his upbringing.

Jacob emphasizes the importance of sharing personal stories and creating a community for ex-homeschoolers. He invites listeners to contribute their own stories to foster connection and understanding.

The episode concludes with Jacob encouraging listeners to reach out and share their experiences, highlighting the significance of every story.

TLDR

Jacob Gooden defines ex-homeschoolers and reflects on personal experiences, emphasizing the importance of sharing stories within the community.

Episode

12:16
00:00:03
Welcome back to the Exhomes Schoolers Club. That's right, it's the best exhomeschooler podcast this side of the
00:00:08
internet. I'm your boy, Jacob Gooden, and uh we're hanging out. You and me,
00:00:13
me, myself, and I, we're doing a solo today. And what the heck are we even talking about? Well, I got asked this
00:00:19
question this week, and I've been asked this question a couple times, but what
00:00:22
is an ex homeschooler, right? How do I define it? What is the definition there? uh you know, am I one? All these types
00:00:31
of things. And so anyway, so let me give you my definition and then we'll get
00:00:35
into some of the more nuance about it. Okay, this is how I define an exhomeschooler. Someone who has
00:00:42
experienced homeschool and lived to tell the tale. Okay, this could be a student
00:00:46
or a teacher. It could be someone who was homeschooled for three days. It could be someone who was homeschooled
00:00:51
for their entire educational experience, right? And um so why was I asked this question? Okay, so I was asked this
00:01:00
question kind of in the context of trying to figure out like is it someone who has walked away from homeschool and
00:01:08
has a negative taste in their mouth about it or doesn't support it any longer? Is it, you know, more my case of
00:01:14
what I believe it's it's somebody who just went through it, right? They did
00:01:17
the thing. They were homeschooled, they're no longer homeschooled, but it's
00:01:21
still part of our identity. Okay? whether we like it or not. Unfortunately, it is. And it kind of led
00:01:29
me down this path of even looking at the bigger picture of like why have I made this such a big part of my identity in
00:01:36
the more recent years. And it kind of stems from this place of like after high school. So, if you don't know, I was
00:01:43
homeschooled all the way through high school. And when I moved to college, I didn't tell a lot of people I was
00:01:49
homeschooled. I really hid it for a little bit. Um, some would argue I didn't hide it very well, but I I did
00:01:56
hide it. I told people I would went to private school and that that was more, you know, my jam. And and
00:02:04
but I didn't want that to be the defining characteristic of who I was when I got to college. I knew that there
00:02:09
was preconceived notions. A lot of people know the preconceived notions, right? That you're antisocial, that
00:02:14
you're a weirdo, that you went to prom with your sister in the basement, like
00:02:18
all those types of things. And I didn't want that. I wanted to I wanted my experience at college to be a fresh
00:02:24
start for me to be this new thing and I could just go and and make a new version
00:02:29
of myself, right? And uh yeah, and and you know what's interesting is that like as time has
00:02:36
gone on, right, and things have shifted in my life and I kind of reclaimed the homeschooler brand a little bit for
00:02:44
myself and that yeah, that was who I was. And part of the reason for that was I started to see the strengths and the
00:02:53
weaknesses of having grown up in a situation like that. I saw the fact that like homeschooling really prepared me to
00:03:01
educate myself, right? To make my own schedule. It prepared me like I run my own business now. I h I am the boss. I
00:03:08
have to make my own schedule. Nobody is telling me I have to be at work at this time. Like I have to do that for myself,
00:03:14
right? And so those are all things that I learned in my time being a homeschool kid, right? I had to get up in the
00:03:23
morning. I had to accomplish my, you know, English lesson and my math lesson. And yeah, I could have had like my
00:03:28
parents, you know, maybe breathing down my neck a little bit, but like overall they really gave it to me to be like,
00:03:35
you run the ship, you do the thing. Now, of course, there's also weaknesses,
00:03:40
right? I could argue my education in certain areas isn't super strong, right?
00:03:45
I don't feel really solid in my understanding of science, right? Things like that. I would also argue that one
00:03:53
of my weaknesses is I do struggle socially sometimes. I I can talk to pretty much anybody, but at the same
00:04:02
time, I do sometimes have moments of really struggling to pick up cues of like, hey, you got to like end the
00:04:07
conversation. you got to like move on, you know, and that's just it's a funky
00:04:13
part of who I am. I want to get better at it. I'm hope hoping to get better at
00:04:17
it, but you know, it's a part of my identity, right? And I know that it stems from my experience as a
00:04:25
homeschooler. So, you know, this this podcast really kind of came was birthed out of
00:04:34
me looking at my life, right? 2020 was a big shift year for a lot of people, right? Uh co made us sit with thoughts
00:04:45
and ourselves a lot more. And I don't know about you, I know for me, it made
00:04:50
me a little bit more introspective and looking at my life and looking at my belief systems and looking at who I was
00:04:56
as a person and and trying to figure out who I was. And so the original goal for
00:05:03
this podcast was really, I would argue, a little bit more selfish. During 2020, 2021, I was starting to have more
00:05:11
conversations. I was reconnecting with other homeschool kids. And I wanted more of that. And so it was kind of this
00:05:19
like, well, if I start a podcast, it's kind of a selfish way of being able to
00:05:23
do that, right? I wanted to catch up with you guys. I wanted to hear what was new.
00:05:28
Um, but I didn't maybe really have a fully fleshed out goal or purpose of like what is why are we telling these
00:05:35
stories? What is it impact? Right? And you know, I think I could have made the argument like, you know, we're reliving
00:05:41
the past and we're doing it for the next generation of homeschoolers so that they
00:05:45
can know that it it gets better, right? Um, maybe it'll help parents not make
00:05:52
the mistakes that our parents made. Maybe it'll, you know, whatever. I don't
00:05:56
know. And that's kind of where like the good, the bad, and the ugly of homeschooling came into play, right? The
00:06:01
subtext of this show, right? And what have I learned, right? Like we've been doing this for nine months,
00:06:08
okay? I've done I think this will be episode 32. You know, we're almost we're getting
00:06:16
we're we're nearing a year of this. And so some things have shifted. Some things
00:06:19
have changed for sure in the way I think about the show, in the way I prepare for
00:06:26
the show. Um, I will say there's a lot more intentionality, I think, behind when I bring people on.
00:06:35
But what have I learned? What have I learned? Well, hopefully I've learned to make
00:06:41
people a little more comfortable when they come on the show in in being able to share their story. That's what this
00:06:47
is meant to be. And I want this podcast more than anything to be a safe space to come and
00:06:57
to tell an audience to tell other homeschoolers, other exhomies who you are, what your life has been like, how
00:07:07
things have shifted, how they've changed, right? And you know, from my perspective, that
00:07:14
means asking certain questions, right? And being able to go down and navigate certain
00:07:20
paths. I think a lot about when I was a kid, I was heavily involved in church and testimony is a big part of church
00:07:27
and I remember there always being people who would tell these stories, crazy stories of like, you know, I was a
00:07:35
heroin addict for, you know, a decade of my life and then I got clean and I turned to Jesus, right? And I would have
00:07:40
there would be other people who were like, you know, I did this thing and I was involved in gang, you know,
00:07:46
whatever. And like, and then I met Jesus and he saved me and like these insane stories, right? And they kind of
00:07:55
feel like like when you're someone like me who just had a normal life, right? I
00:08:00
had two parents. I grew up in a household. Like I, you know, I went to church every Sunday, went I had school,
00:08:07
whatever. like my life didn't seem that crazy. And so it was definitely hard to
00:08:12
want to share my story because I just didn't feel like it meant anything to anybody. Just was like nothing. It
00:08:18
didn't I don't know. But the more that I've talked about the things I've been
00:08:25
through and the more I've started to ask you guys the things that you've been
00:08:29
through and we we talk about it, even the most mundane stuff can be impactful, right? Our stories have purpose. Our
00:08:36
stories have meaning. You know, our lives have purpose. They they have meaning to them. And just because
00:08:43
maybe my story doesn't hit with somebody, it doesn't mean it's not going
00:08:46
to hit with the next person, right? It we find commonality. Um, and that's what has
00:08:54
built this community hopefully. I hope so at least. But I've really learned that I I I firmly believe that no story
00:09:03
is too boring to share and that we each have a unique voice. We each have a unique story and I want this to be a
00:09:10
place that we can share those things. So that being said, I'm going to keep it
00:09:17
short. We're at like 11 minutes right now. It's going to be a really short
00:09:22
episode. But that being said, if you've got a story that you want to share, I
00:09:27
want to hear it. I want to I want to have you on the show. I want you to share it with my friends, this audience,
00:09:34
right? I want this to be a place that can be safe for anybody and everybody. And that's
00:09:42
why, you know, sometimes when I ask questions and I have certain people on, conversations go a certain direction, we
00:09:49
talk about certain things and maybe I don't push back or I don't make my side
00:09:53
of the story quite as known. It's because that's not always the purpose.
00:09:58
The purpose is to let people tell you who they are. Um, and like I said, I think we find
00:10:07
commonality, we find family, we find connection inside of that. So, like I said, you want to come on, you got a
00:10:15
story you want to share, let me know, okay? Shoot me an email, [email protected]. I want to hear from
00:10:21
you. I really do. Or if you don't have email, I don't know why you wouldn't
00:10:26
have email, but if you don't have email or whatever, you can hit me up in the
00:10:29
DMs, exhub on Instagram, threads, Tik Tok. Um, I'm trying to think where else
00:10:37
it is. I think those are the main three social platforms, but you can find me. Um, you know, drop it in the, you know,
00:10:45
review section of the podcast. I don't or the, you know, comment section of this video, wherever you're at. you
00:10:51
know, put a little thing, shoot me a little message. Uh, I'll do my best to to get back to you. And all that being
00:10:59
said, I would appreciate if you would also go subscribe to my newsletter. Uh, it's kind of a new thing. I got got some
00:11:07
passion behind it, but I'm trying to once a week, but for sure every other week, shoot out a little newsletter with
00:11:13
updates. you know what what episodes aired in the week, the last week or two. Maybe the books I'm reading, maybe the
00:11:20
movies I'm watching, maybe the music I'm listening to, the podcasts I'm listening
00:11:24
to. I don't know. It's still getting built out. But if you want me in your
00:11:28
inbox, that'd be awesome. The first link below is going to be that. So, I don't
00:11:34
know what else to say. Uh, if you're an exhomie, if you're an ex homeschooler,
00:11:38
or you identify as an ex-h homeschooler, awesome. Welcome to the club. With that being said, I think I'm
00:11:45
going to wrap things up. I know this has been super short. I appreciate you guys
00:11:49
and uh until next week. We'll see you. All right. Peace. [Music] [Music]

Episode Highlights

  • Defining an Exhomeschooler
    Jacob shares his personal definition of an exhomeschooler and its implications.
    “Someone who has experienced homeschool and lived to tell the tale.”
    @ 00m 40s
    April 03, 2025
  • The Journey of Self-Discovery
    Jacob reflects on his journey of embracing his identity as a homeschooler.
    “I started to see the strengths and the weaknesses of having grown up in a situation like that.”
    @ 02m 55s
    April 03, 2025
  • The Purpose of the Podcast
    Jacob reveals the original goal of the podcast and its evolution over time.
    “The original goal for this podcast was really, I would argue, a little bit more selfish.”
    @ 05m 03s
    April 03, 2025

Episode Quotes

  • I want this to be a safe space.
    Am I Still a Homeschooler? Let’s Talk About It | #32
  • No story is too boring to share.
    Am I Still a Homeschooler? Let’s Talk About It | #32

Key Moments

  • Welcome Back00:03
  • Defining Exhomeschooler00:40
  • Identity Reflection02:55
  • Podcast Purpose05:03
  • Invitation to Share10:15

Tension Over Time

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown