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What happens when two friends who
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haven't seen each other in seven years
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jump on a Zoom call and catch up? You're
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going to find out today on this episode
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of the Exhomeschoolers Club. I'm your
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host, Jacob Gooden, and that's right,
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we're back with the best exhomeschooler
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podcast this side of the internet. And
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today, I'm joined by my wonderful,
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lovely friend, Katrin, formerly France,
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uh, now McGugan. We are going to catch
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up on all things from our past. We're
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going to catch up on the last seven
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years. What has happened? A lot has
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changed in both of our lives. We both
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got married. She's had two kids. We're
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going to talk about our homeschool past
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together. We're going to talk about
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potentially her homeschool future. Um,
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and a bunch of other stuff. But before I
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let you go, I've got a newsletter. I
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want you on it. First link in the
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description is going to be the sign up
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link for that. Go hop on that. I I'm
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shooting out emails once a week, maybe
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every other week, with just latest
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episodes, things I'm reading, things I'm
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watching,
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resources for this show, all that kind
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of fun stuff. So, go check it out, see
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for yourself. All right, now on to the
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[Music]
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episode. Krin, first and foremost,
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welcome to the exhomeschoolers club.
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Thank you. I am so glad to be here.
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You and I have been friends for a long
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time. I mean, if it hasn't been clear in
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my episodes with Ellia and Carrie, like
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we've known each other for it feels like
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forever. Uh, but your dad was my music
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teacher. You've you've been over my
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house like plenty of times. I've been to
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your house. Like we so many things have
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happened where our lives just
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intersected.
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Definitely. Yes. It's a lot of things
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happen. A lot of things happened. Yeah.
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But we were chatting before we got
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started and it's been at least seven
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years since we've seen each other or
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even talked to each other and you and I
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are both married now. You have two kids.
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Like life has definitely shifted and
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we're going to get into all that, but um
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it's good to reconnect. I'm excited to
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reconnect. Yes, it it's so nice to
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reconnect and yeah, it's been long a
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long time and a lot of things have
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transpired over the years. Yeah. So, I
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guess with that, I'm going to turn it
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over to you for a little for a few
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minutes. Walk me through kind of your
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homeschool experience. Like, you know,
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were you always homeschooled? You know,
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what did it look like? Obviously, we
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kind of I already I dropped I spilled
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the beans. You have two sisters, but
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like, you know, uh kind of walk me
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through that a little bit and then we'll
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go from there. Man, homeschooling was a
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time for sure. Um it's it was a really
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good experience for the most part. Uh we
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I was homeschooled my whole life, like
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all through school, um all up until high
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school. Um and uh yeah, I'm really close
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with my sisters and it was really great.
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We uh there's a lot of good things that
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I experienced. There was a lot of
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flexibility. Um we I remember like the
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daily schedule would always kind of
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change every day. like it was kind of
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you never know what to expect, but we
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did so much like not just reading um
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from textbooks or whatever, but I just
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remember doing so many like field trips
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and interactive learning. Um and it was
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kind of really great for me because we
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got to uh just that kind of flexibility.
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um was really good for being able to
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focus like on my strengths um and all
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the extracurricular activities like we
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had lots of time. You can kind of make
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your own schedule so that you have time
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to go do all the fun stuff that you want
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to do and uh for me that was like dance
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and gymnastics and uh getting a job at a
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young age and just be able to have all
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that time for that was really great. Um,
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yeah, I really loved being able to be
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like with my family a lot of the time.
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Like we really bonded. Um, and I can't
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imagine like going to school and like
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not seeing my family for most of the
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day. Like for me it was just normal.
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Like you just see your family all day
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every day. Yeah. Yeah. No, I feel you.
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It's like it it's so it was a weird
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thing to for me get to like college or
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even high school and start to make
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friends that were like outside of that
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and be like so wait you like go
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somewhere and you're like you're at this
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place for eight hours a day with like
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maybe your sibling is there too but like
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you're different classes and like it
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just felt weird. It just was a foreign
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kind of concept and I mean I went to
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public school for two years. I I kind of
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get the idea but it was like it just
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didn't feel it doesn't feel like normal.
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Right. Right.
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Yeah. Yeah. And we were just definitely
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like so bonded. Me and my sisters are
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still like so very close um to this day
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and like we were super close with my fam
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my parents and uh just like and again
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with my dad's studio like being able to
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be like, "Oh, hey, we're not going to do
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school today. Like we're going to go to
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the studio and make some music and learn
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to play some instruments." And it was
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just like so fun for me because it was
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like there was a lot of times where we
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could have breaks to go play outside. I
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remember just playing outside a lot of
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the day which like really helped me not,
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you know, having to like sit down in a
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classroom, you know, for like eight
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hours just trying to stay focused. Uh it
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was really good for me to be able to,
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you know, bounce around and do some
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school here and there, uh go do an
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extracurricular activity, go hang out
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with friends, go do some more homework,
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and just having that freedom and
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flexibility uh was definitely a
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highlight for me. And and that like that
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family closeness. um being able to just
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yeah spend time with them um through the
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ups and downs and uh spend time together
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and you know yeah I remember you saying
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on one of the episodes where how you
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just like do homework like at Disneyland
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with your family and it was just like
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yeah like let's do it. Yeah, you just do
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it wherever you need to do it and like I
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mean like you brought up your dad's
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studio. It's like that was also like a
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safe space for me too. It's like I took
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music lessons. It's really how we got
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more connected to your family. Obviously
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we were both a part of Achieve and Group
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Solutions and things like that. we were
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bound to run into each other at some
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point, but like being at your dad's
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studio was like I spent so much time
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there and like worked for him and like
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all that stuff. But I remember those
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times of like, hey, we're just like
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going to track whatever. We're just
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going to like go in there and be
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creative and like that was always so
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cool and like going in and he'd be like,
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oh yeah, like I had the girls come in
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and we recorded this whole thing and
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like it's you know you guys would make
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full albums and full just like crazy
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whatever. It was just like it was so
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interesting and your family in general
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is just I think one of the more creative
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homeschool families. You guys were all
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you guys are all very talented singers,
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songwriters, artists. I know you paint
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now. Like you guys are just like
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everything you set your mind to you guys
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end up being super talented at. So kudos
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to you. Kudos to your parents for
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encouraging that. But yeah, it was
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really nice like having that creative
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outlet. like I I felt like academically,
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you know, I was able to do a lot, but it
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was definitely not my strength. Um, a
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lot of different subjects I just really
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did not like doing. But if it was like,
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oh, music or poetry or art or dance, it
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was or theater, it was like, oh, like I
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want to do that. And that's kind of why
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I loved the flexible schedule because
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it's like, okay, you can get the boring
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stuff that you don't like doing out of
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the way and then have all these creative
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outlets, uh, which is just really good
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for for me and my personality and and,
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uh, just really necessary for me to be
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able to, you know, handle the boring
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stuff. What did a typical day look like?
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I mean, you you already kind of said
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like there there was no normal days.
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Like, it definitely changed a lot, but
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like like what did that I mean, and what
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did school look like? I mean, like, did
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you guys have a very set curriculum or
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was your or was it very like loosey
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goosey? My mom shifted things a lot like
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we changed up things just all the time.
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Um, usually year to year, but but it was
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just a constant evolution of of
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whatever. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It really
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like I had some friends where it was
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like you're up at 7:00 every day and
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you're doing this uh subject at 8 and
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you're doing this very strict. And um
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ours is a little bit more loose um and
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flexible and uh like I just I remember
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being able to sleep in and not have to
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wake up early which is also a big plus.
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Um and just like some subjects we would
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do at home. Um a lot most of them I feel
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like were like with group solutions and
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like uh writing class. Shout out to Mrs.
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Yep who's awesome. Um all of the side
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classes from all the different
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homeschool moms that we took. Um, and
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uh, yeah, it's kind of like just a
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mixture of all of those things. Um, and
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yeah, we would I remember we'd do school
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and then like an hour and then uh, you
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know, go outside, you know, have fun, go
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roller skate and and don't come back in
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yet. Uh, and then we'd just jump into
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another thing or we'd go to group
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solutions and take classes there. And
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every day was just definitely a little
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bit different. Sometimes it would like I
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remember being in Konos like back in the
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day like super fun time. I have a lot of
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good memories from that that time. uh
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being like, "Oh, we're doing a class on
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like ancient Egypt and we're all going
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to dress up or like my mom, I remember
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her dressing up um as one of like
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Egyptian queens and uh we were eating
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like Egyptian food like trying food from
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that culture and just like a really
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interactive experience instead of just
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like reading a book be like this is what
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happened like we were able to kind of
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learn a lot of different interactive
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ways and a lot of different outlets and
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uh so that was definitely I loved going
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to Konos and all the classes because
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it'd be like a lot more hands-on um
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experience which I really liked about
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homeschooling. I was never in Konos. So,
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describe a little bit of like what that
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was like cuz I've talked a lot about
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group solutions on the show before. It's
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very it's a lot more structured, very
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class ccentric kind of a thing. Very
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almost like traditional school in a way,
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but Konos seems a little bit different
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than that. So, what exactly like was it?
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How many people What do you remember?
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Yeah, it is hard to remember. I will say
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because it's been a long time and I was
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pretty little when we were in it, but um
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I remember it being similar to groups
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like where we would meet. I think it was
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uh I I might be wrong on this, but like
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it was either every week or every other
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week and uh just going there couple
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classes, being able to play outside at
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the park. Um, and then a lot of times we
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just did like field trips like I
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remember I vaguely remember um going to
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different like museums and like uh
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pretty sure we visited like a beehive
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farm or whatever it is called one place
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and learning about bees and then going
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to like uh the hatchery learning about
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the fish like all this stuff. Uh and so
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I my memories are like I it's hard to
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remember but I just remember always it
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being like a fun time. Yeah. And I
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remember one class uh where we had to
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like try sushi and we were try it was
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like all about food and we were trying
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all the foods that we didn't normally
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like. And I remember having a hard time
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with that class cuz I was very picky. I
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took a food class too. I sushi was not
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my jam. And then when I when I met my
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wife that was like she's like we're
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going for sushi when we were dating and
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I was like I don't eat sushi. And she's
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like she's like you're going to eat it
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now. And I'm like and now it's one of my
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favorite things. So Oh yeah. Hey there
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you go. It happens. Yeah. Like I like a
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class like on trying new foods which is
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like funny because I I just feel like
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may I mean again I don't know exactly
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how public school works because I don't
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have anything you know compared to I was
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just homeschooled but you know there's a
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lot of classes I took that I feel like
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weren't going to be like classes in a
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typical school environment. Um, but that
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were still super super fun and like I
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feel like I learned a lot better uh
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being in that environment where it's
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like fun and hands-on. Um, and like I I
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a couple years ago I got diagnosed with
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ADHD as like an adult. And that kind of
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like clicked in my head of why it was
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like I did have such a hard time like in
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school um being able to like read a
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textbook or focus on this or that. And I
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think that's what homeschooling really
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helped me with um is just having all the
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different types of learning whether
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you're like watching a movie and
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learning from that or um or going to
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like a museum or just like lots of
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different ways of learning that helped
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me instead of just like well you're just
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expected to uh read a book um be able to
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read a book straight and retain all the
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information. It it's interesting because
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I don't have ADHD. I don't have
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dyslexia. I don't really have any of the
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like quote unquote learning
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disabilities, which I even hate that
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term. Like I view it as more just like
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that's just the way your brain works,
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right? It's just, you know, that's it's
00:12:42
what makes you unique, right? And um so
00:12:45
like for me, reading a textbook and like
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memorizing it and being able to put it
00:12:48
back down on paper is like not really an
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issue. Um and so I joke with my mom, I'm
00:12:54
like, I would have done she's like, "You
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would have done fine in regular school,
00:12:58
like in public school, because I just
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that's how I operate." However, I would
00:13:03
have missed out on all these crazy
00:13:04
opportunities like you were talking
00:13:06
about like your mom dressing up like an
00:13:07
Egyptian queen and like trying all these
00:13:09
new foods and like all the stuff that is
00:13:11
not 100% going to happen in a public
00:13:14
school. Right. Right. And the the amount
00:13:16
of field trips and the amount of just
00:13:17
like hands-on this and that and and you
00:13:21
know we also like you brought up Mrs.
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Yep. like we had different teachers for
00:13:24
different things that like you know they
00:13:26
made things unique and different and
00:13:29
that's I think what helped a lot of us
00:13:32
um and especially like like you said
00:13:34
having ADHD you know or like I have
00:13:37
family members who have dyslexia like
00:13:39
it's just things like that it's like
00:13:42
you just have to do it differently. It's
00:13:44
just there's no way there's no way
00:13:45
around it. Yeah. And like Yeah. being
00:13:48
able to like take a break and go play
00:13:50
outside and burn off energy for an hour
00:13:53
um or go do something else. It's like I
00:13:55
could not sit for hours and just um like
00:13:58
you know study because I I would just
00:14:00
lose my mind at that point. I'd be able
00:14:02
to like bounce around and because that's
00:14:04
how I my mind works. I bounce around
00:14:06
this and that and I can focus very well
00:14:08
if I'm that's why it's like with all the
00:14:11
fun things that I love doing, all the
00:14:13
creative things, it's like I could
00:14:14
definitely focus with that, but when it
00:14:16
came to like math or science or history,
00:14:18
I just be kind of like, okay. Yeah. So,
00:14:21
let me ask you this. Now that you now
00:14:23
that you know that you have ADHD, are
00:14:25
what have you are there any like tips,
00:14:29
tricks, things that you've learned to
00:14:30
kind of be like, okay, like here's how
00:14:33
my brain operates. So like I know that I
00:14:35
have to do things this way which is not
00:14:38
the traditional way of like and it could
00:14:40
be stupid stuff. I mean it could be
00:14:41
chores, it could
00:14:43
be you know cooking, it can be I don't
00:14:45
know but like how do you what have what
00:14:48
have you learned? I guess that's the
00:14:49
question. Yeah. Yeah. So many things. Um
00:14:53
really the most important thing that I
00:14:55
have learned is to work with your brain
00:14:58
not against it. Um, and I think in like
00:15:01
in high school especially, I put a lot
00:15:03
of pressure on myself to be able to
00:15:06
learn the way that everybody else or
00:15:08
like a lot of other people's people do
00:15:10
like um and I felt kind of I kind of
00:15:13
internalized that and be like well I'm
00:15:15
not you know I'm I'm kind of dumb
00:15:17
compared to them like I can't uh learn
00:15:19
as well as them and kind of internalized
00:15:21
that and then just realizing years later
00:15:24
like there's nothing wrong with you like
00:15:27
if you have you know a learning ing
00:15:29
disability or whatever. Um it's like you
00:15:31
just have to work a little bit
00:15:33
differently. You just have to learn a
00:15:34
little bit differently. And um like for
00:15:37
me lots of things have helped like I
00:15:39
mean like with chores like I will start
00:15:43
uh and this was me in during school when
00:15:46
I was young too, but like I'd start a
00:15:48
chore and then I go in the other room
00:15:49
and see another mess and then I will
00:15:51
start cleaning that and then I'll like
00:15:52
bounce around. Especially like as a mom
00:15:55
like the house is always messy.
00:15:58
that is my life and bouncing around and
00:16:01
never actually completing anything and
00:16:03
then just being so overwhelmed. Um but
00:16:05
like for that like setting timers has
00:16:08
been really like helpful. Um or in just
00:16:10
like reading like I can read but it's
00:16:13
like I have to do little short spurts. I
00:16:15
can't ever just like sit and read
00:16:17
something for like an hour. Um, and so
00:16:19
like if I'm trying to read something or
00:16:21
trying to get something done, uh, like
00:16:23
setting a timer just is really simple
00:16:25
thing that has helped me a lot. Just
00:16:27
like helps my brain get back on track.
00:16:29
Be like, "What was I doing again?" Oh,
00:16:30
yeah. I do that too. You know, it's I I
00:16:34
don't know if you've ever heard of the
00:16:35
Pomodoro timer theory, but basically, so
00:16:39
the way that one works is you have you
00:16:41
do 30 minutes of what's called deep
00:16:43
work, right? So I do a lot of editing,
00:16:45
uh, video and and audio editing. So,
00:16:48
right, 30 minutes just hardcore stare at
00:16:51
a screen editing can be very hard even
00:16:53
for somebody who doesn't have ADHD. It's
00:16:55
like it is very hard, right? Um, but
00:16:58
what's cool is I'm like, "Okay, 30
00:16:59
minutes and then I get a five minute
00:17:01
break and I click on my five minute
00:17:03
timer. I can do whatever in that five
00:17:05
minutes, you know, go do a couple
00:17:06
jumping jacks, use the bathroom, get a
00:17:08
fresh cup of water, go outside for a few
00:17:10
minutes, right? You know, whatever it
00:17:12
is." and you come back and you do
00:17:13
another 30 minutes of this like deep
00:17:15
work and you maybe you transition to
00:17:17
something else. Maybe it's like okay now
00:17:18
I'm doing paperwork or now I'm creating
00:17:20
a graphic or whatever. But the the kind
00:17:22
of like like you said of like having
00:17:24
that set time of just like okay I'm
00:17:26
going to do this and it will end and I
00:17:29
can watch be watching the countdown of
00:17:31
like it's going to end in this amount of
00:17:33
time. I don't know it like it like does
00:17:35
something to the brain where you're like
00:17:36
I can do it. I can make it you know.
00:17:38
Right. Yeah. Yeah. cuz that motivation
00:17:40
and like procrastination is a real
00:17:43
issue, you know, with ADHD. Um, and like
00:17:47
cuz your your brain is just naturally
00:17:50
lower level of like dopamine and
00:17:52
everything. And so, um, it's like you
00:17:54
have to find ways to like boost that
00:17:56
motivation, right? You got to gify it a
00:17:58
lot of times, too. Yeah. It's like I can
00:18:00
do I can do this for 15 minutes. Like
00:18:02
even though it sounds hard, like I can
00:18:03
do it and I'm you're always I'm always
00:18:05
amazed at what I can get done in 15
00:18:08
minutes. Yeah. Um, and just like get
00:18:10
that done and then you kind of reward
00:18:12
yourself with Yeah. like 5 10 minutes
00:18:14
and like I know my uh my six-year-old at
00:18:17
uh when he was in like a prek program at
00:18:20
um last year at his school, he uh they
00:18:23
would do brain breaks and so like after
00:18:25
they would do some learning, they would
00:18:26
turn on some like dance videos and they
00:18:27
have a little dance party and just like
00:18:29
a way to reward your brain and have fun
00:18:31
and then it's just a lot easier to get
00:18:33
back to studying and and stuff like
00:18:34
that. So yeah, there's lots of different
00:18:36
things that I've learned and I'm still
00:18:38
learning. Um, for sure just how to
00:18:40
instead of like expecting myself to be
00:18:42
able to keep up with uh people who are
00:18:45
able to uh you know do that uh in a
00:18:48
better way like like work with yourself,
00:18:50
not against yourself. There's nothing
00:18:51
wrong with you. Uh you just your brain
00:18:53
is wired a little differently and that's
00:18:54
it. Not a big not a big deal. Um you
00:18:57
know everyone everyone's brain is
00:18:59
different and so it's like work with it
00:19:01
not against it. Yeah. Well, and I think
00:19:03
for those of us who are not ADHD, I it's
00:19:07
it's an interesting thing to learn about
00:19:09
because I'm married to someone with ADHD
00:19:11
as well. And so it's one of those things
00:19:13
where it it can be frustrating from my
00:19:17
perspective, right? Because I'm like,
00:19:18
well, just do this, right? Like because
00:19:20
that's what makes sense in my brain.
00:19:21
Yeah. But the longer I sit with it and I
00:19:23
go, okay, I have to look I have to
00:19:25
remove myself from that and I have to
00:19:26
go, okay, I got to look at this from
00:19:28
like that brain style. And that's really
00:19:31
hard to do. It is. The patience it takes
00:19:34
can be very overwhelming. But in the
00:19:35
same way, you also have to have patience
00:19:37
for people like us because we are just
00:19:39
like, well, we're just gonna do it this
00:19:41
way and like we're just going to grind
00:19:42
it out or we're going to crank, you
00:19:44
know, we're just we can go for four
00:19:46
hours doing this one thing that like
00:19:47
you're like that is torture. Mhm. Um and
00:19:53
so I don't know. I just I've learned in
00:19:54
the last couple years particularly that
00:19:56
it's like also for me taking time to
00:19:59
understand like this is how your brain
00:20:01
works and there's great like you you
00:20:03
brought up there's so much more
00:20:04
education around it now and I think that
00:20:05
did exist when we were kids but not I
00:20:08
mean we have the internet now it's at
00:20:10
the palm of you know it's the fingertips
00:20:13
um right so educate yourself on this
00:20:16
stuff for for people who are not too
00:20:18
because it's like you you're going to
00:20:19
encounter someone whose brain just works
00:20:20
differently and if you know how to
00:20:22
operate with
00:20:24
Wow. Like you guys can do incredible
00:20:26
things together, right? Yeah. Yeah.
00:20:28
Exactly. And for me it was the like I
00:20:31
remember learning a lot, but it was the
00:20:33
retaining all that information. It just
00:20:35
kind of like it goes in my brain and it
00:20:37
doesn't stick. It just kind of leaves.
00:20:39
And so like I'll be like the boy my boys
00:20:42
will ask me questions or like math
00:20:43
questions simple ones sometimes and I'm
00:20:45
like how do I do that again? Like I
00:20:48
don't remember how to do that. And
00:20:49
that's where it came in handy to not
00:20:51
just like read about how to do
00:20:53
something, but to uh like for me, if I'm
00:20:55
trying to learn something now, it's like
00:20:57
I I write it at the same time as I'm
00:21:00
listening to it as the same time that
00:21:01
I'm reading it. It's like I kind of like
00:21:03
all the different ways of learning. I
00:21:05
try to do that. Um and that really helps
00:21:07
it like stick in my brain more as
00:21:09
opposed to just reading it and
00:21:11
memorizing it. Um, you know, even like
00:21:13
coming up with a, you know, some hand
00:21:16
motion or song or dance to help me
00:21:19
memorize it. Uh, you know, you could be
00:21:21
silly things like that, but it does
00:21:22
help, you know, to just get that
00:21:24
information to stick. Yes, I love the
00:21:26
silly stuff because like I think I like
00:21:31
after 2020 in particular like I really I
00:21:34
think a lot of people lost fun in their
00:21:37
lives and like to find that again and
00:21:40
like be silly like I worked at a toy
00:21:41
store for a year and a half or whatever.
00:21:44
That was so much fun because it was just
00:21:46
like I get to play with toys with kids
00:21:50
like and it was just I got to be silly.
00:21:52
I got to
00:21:53
like reenact and reinvigorate like the
00:21:56
creative juices and be, you know, I
00:21:58
don't know. It just it brought something
00:22:00
new and I was like, I'm not going to
00:22:01
worry about like looking dumb. I'm not
00:22:03
going to worry about like, you know,
00:22:05
people being like, you play with toys.
00:22:06
It's like I don't care. I this is fun
00:22:08
for me and this like makes me happy and
00:22:11
make and that makes me healthier and
00:22:13
that's I'm I'm good with that, you know.
00:22:16
Absolutely. So, okay, I do want to
00:22:19
transition a little bit. Yeah. And so
00:22:22
let's let's bounce to the end of high
00:22:24
school and you're getting ready to
00:22:26
become an adult, right? You're about to
00:22:27
be 18.
00:22:30
I know we we did different paths. Um
00:22:32
like I did the more traditional like I
00:22:34
went to college, you did some very
00:22:36
unique stuff. I want to hear a little
00:22:37
bit about that and like how that kind of
00:22:40
your thought process and like choosing
00:22:42
that path. Yeah. Yeah. I I remember um
00:22:46
senior year doing like the career and
00:22:48
college planning class at Group
00:22:49
Solutions and being just like I had I I
00:22:53
love doing so many different things. I
00:22:55
can't I'm not good at making decisions.
00:22:57
And so I was like I want to do like
00:22:58
everything. I have all these ideas like
00:23:00
and it would be ranging from like I want
00:23:04
to be um like a horse trainer and I want
00:23:06
to be a ballet dancer. I want to like
00:23:08
teach French and I want to be an opera
00:23:09
singer. It's like all these things that
00:23:11
are not related. just like so many
00:23:13
things I was excited about. Um but uh
00:23:17
yeah, I really like I just didn't know
00:23:19
and I didn't want to make like a really
00:23:22
like big decision. I didn't feel like I
00:23:24
was ready to make like a big decision.
00:23:25
And I think it was nice being able to be
00:23:27
like you don't have to go like right to
00:23:30
college. You know, there's a lot of
00:23:31
different um paths you can take. And um
00:23:34
and I just really felt at that time I
00:23:36
really wanted to go help people and
00:23:37
that's something that I'm really
00:23:38
passionate about. And um and so I joined
00:23:42
um a ministry in Louisiana that does
00:23:45
disaster relief and um they have ships
00:23:47
and they go out to like Haiti and um
00:23:50
Middle East and wherever there's need.
00:23:52
They do a lot of like local disaster
00:23:54
relief in Louisiana with flooding and um
00:23:57
and everything. And uh I was like, you
00:23:59
know what, I don't know what I want to
00:24:01
do, but I know that I can spend my time
00:24:03
helping people right now and I don't
00:24:04
have to figure it out yet. and um you
00:24:06
know the it's not like a rush to figure
00:24:09
anything out. And so um I was able to go
00:24:12
there and um it was kind of like a YWAM
00:24:15
type thing like for college age um
00:24:17
people and just like a lot of uh
00:24:20
spiritual training and disaster relief
00:24:22
training. Um, and that's where I met my
00:24:25
husband. And it it kind of was going
00:24:27
from like the the like Christian
00:24:31
homeschool bubble that we grew up in to
00:24:33
like another like Christian bubble um in
00:24:36
that ministry. Um, which was great. And
00:24:39
then, you know, like when you're out of
00:24:41
that and you're in the real world, it's
00:24:43
like, okay, like this is nor like it's
00:24:46
hard to figure out. Like even still,
00:24:48
like at my current job, you know, I'm
00:24:50
just used to always being around, you
00:24:52
know, people that believe the same
00:24:53
things as me and people that have grown
00:24:56
up the same way. And um it really is
00:24:58
like a big culture shock when you're
00:25:00
like an adult because you're like not
00:25:03
everyone thinks the same way. Everyone
00:25:05
has a lot of different experience
00:25:07
opinions and experiences and it's like a
00:25:11
whole new world. Like it's like whoa. I
00:25:13
feel you cuz even me like I went to a
00:25:16
small Christian college. There's a
00:25:18
thousand students which sounds like a
00:25:19
lot of people but when you compare that
00:25:21
to one of the bigger universities it's
00:25:24
not that many people like we basically
00:25:26
knew everybody on the campus. It's easy
00:25:28
to remember a thousand people's names uh
00:25:30
if you try hard enough. And so, but it
00:25:34
was interesting because and I had a
00:25:35
buddy on um Adam Gaus was on this
00:25:37
episode on a on the podcast and he we
00:25:40
went to the same college together and so
00:25:42
we talked about how it was very much
00:25:45
like going from like a youth group
00:25:47
Christian scenario to a bigger youth
00:25:49
group Christian scenario. Yes. And then
00:25:51
when we started to leave that and even
00:25:54
within inside of that we had a lot of
00:25:56
denominations of people. We had like
00:25:58
free Methodists and non-denominational
00:26:00
and Lutherans and and Catholics and like
00:26:02
everything and we were like what is
00:26:04
going on? Like we start to realize like
00:26:06
we do not believe the same thing like or
00:26:08
we disagree on stuff overall. We all
00:26:11
agreed on like religion but like or like
00:26:15
we we kind of all had the same narrative
00:26:16
of like man messed up. Jesus needed to
00:26:19
come save us kind of a thing. But like
00:26:21
when it came to the intricacies of like
00:26:22
religion, we were all in complete
00:26:25
disagreement of like what that looked
00:26:26
like. And so it was interesting to then
00:26:29
like work through that where it was kind
00:26:31
of that stepping stone to then we get to
00:26:33
the real world and you're like, "Oh, to
00:26:36
your point, there's a bunch of people
00:26:38
who don't believe any of this, right?
00:26:40
And how do you step into that and how do
00:26:42
you exist in that?" Yeah. It's I'm I'm
00:26:45
going to argue that was maybe a weak
00:26:47
point in our childhood a little bit of
00:26:49
like I think having been exposed to
00:26:52
more outside information could have been
00:26:56
good especially when it comes to
00:26:57
religion. Yeah. No, I agree. I think
00:26:59
that like when you're raised in that
00:27:01
like kind of Christian environment, it's
00:27:03
like you grow up thinking like this is
00:27:05
the way like everybody should believe
00:27:08
these specific things. but also kind of
00:27:11
you know it wasn't until I was out of
00:27:13
that that I kind of realized there is
00:27:15
some you know toxic stuff happening in
00:27:18
there and uh you know purity culture and
00:27:20
all that I know you've talked about that
00:27:21
a lot and it's like oh like kind of like
00:27:25
when you're becoming an adult and when
00:27:26
you leave your family and you leave that
00:27:28
environment it's like okay who am I like
00:27:30
on my own what do I believe like what do
00:27:32
I want to what beliefs do I want to take
00:27:34
with me um like from my parents or my
00:27:37
environment and then what do I kind of
00:27:38
want to
00:27:39
get rid of because I don't associate
00:27:41
with it anymore. Um, and kind of like
00:27:43
that's the hard part is like deciding on
00:27:46
your own like what you're going to
00:27:47
believe because it's like easy when you
00:27:49
grow up and that it's like you're just
00:27:50
told what to believe like this is the
00:27:52
truth. Um, when in fact, you know,
00:27:54
looking back there's a lot of things
00:27:56
that I'm just like eh that was not very
00:27:58
healthy. Um, that wasn't really that
00:28:00
great. Um, and so it's like actually the
00:28:04
real world is more it's more normal for
00:28:07
people to not believe in things that you
00:28:09
believe. Like it's uh kind of the
00:28:11
opposite. And so be able to like
00:28:12
navigate that whereas like you believe
00:28:15
what you know what you really do believe
00:28:17
and you know getting rid of the things
00:28:19
that don't um that you don't want to
00:28:21
believe anymore or you don't feel like
00:28:23
is necessary or or whatever and kind of
00:28:26
becoming your own independent person.
00:28:27
And and so that was definitely like a
00:28:29
huge step for me because once it was you
00:28:32
know I moved to the ministry it was like
00:28:33
okay what from homeschool do I want to
00:28:35
take or my experience then and then it
00:28:37
was like when I left the ministry it was
00:28:39
like okay now I am in the real world
00:28:41
like uh I'm a mom too like I got kids to
00:28:45
worry about now and it's like well now a
00:28:48
lot of things from that ministry were
00:28:50
not good either and so it's like it
00:28:53
there's a lot of things a lot of taking
00:28:54
and leaving I feel like with faith faith
00:28:57
or just beliefs in general and and
00:28:59
stuff. So, it's an experience for sure.
00:29:01
One thing that I think is
00:29:03
uh I won't say it's unique, but I one
00:29:06
thing that we have shared in experience
00:29:08
is the fact that like we both left home
00:29:10
at a young age. I was 18. I'm assuming
00:29:13
you were right around 18, right? Yeah.
00:29:15
Mhm. So like that alone is like huge
00:29:19
world shift of just like you're going
00:29:21
from all the comforts of everything
00:29:24
safe, everything that you know and the
00:29:25
homeschool community we grew up in was
00:29:26
so tight as well where like I mean the
00:29:29
number of people who were like don't
00:29:31
leave. It's like I understand that like
00:29:33
I I'm sad too. I don't want to go. But
00:29:35
it was it was like a necessary thing,
00:29:38
right? It's like it I have to step
00:29:40
outside of that. Now again this is not
00:29:42
to criticize anybody that stayed. That's
00:29:43
like it's just that is a unique thing
00:29:45
that I think it can be helpful, right?
00:29:49
Because it's like it puts you out there
00:29:51
and then you know right after you left
00:29:54
your ministry and pretty soon after I
00:29:56
left college like we both got married
00:29:58
like we started new lives, we moved to
00:30:01
brand new states for us like we have
00:30:02
that in common where it's like okay we
00:30:04
have to figure this out. We have to
00:30:06
figure out how to be adults in a real
00:30:08
world to some degree on our own you
00:30:11
know. Yes. Um, that's a scary challenge.
00:30:14
It really is. And you were a mom pretty
00:30:16
quickly into your marriage as well. So,
00:30:19
that's a whole another a whole another
00:30:22
can of worms. Um, yeah. As well. But Oh,
00:30:26
yeah. Yeah. I feel like I just left high
00:30:28
school and then I did something and then
00:30:29
I like got married and I then I had got
00:30:32
pregnant and then it's like the next one
00:30:33
came and then we move and it's like we
00:30:35
moved and it's just like all these huge
00:30:37
life changes and especially like when
00:30:39
you have kids then you're kind of like
00:30:41
start questioning like okay what you
00:30:44
know what do I want to teach them what
00:30:46
do I want them to grow up like learning
00:30:48
like do I want to do the same things
00:30:50
that my parents did or that my
00:30:51
environment did or do I want to do
00:30:53
things differently do I want to kind of
00:30:55
like edit that take some of that other
00:30:57
stuff out that I don't like. And um and
00:30:59
so it's like it's a whole process, but
00:31:01
then like having kids so young and so
00:31:05
quickly without really growing up
00:31:07
myself, it's definitely been a challenge
00:31:09
and it's it's been a huge blessing. Like
00:31:11
I love them. Um and I've definitely been
00:31:13
on a a roller coaster of life changes.
00:31:17
Yeah. But it's kind of like forced me um
00:31:20
to really uh grind out like who am I?
00:31:23
Like what is my identity? What do I
00:31:24
believe? what do I not believe? Um, you
00:31:26
know, how do I be my own person as well
00:31:28
as be a wife and be a mom? Um, you know,
00:31:31
how do I remain true to myself and what
00:31:33
do I want my kids to grow up in? And
00:31:35
just a lot of questions you got to
00:31:36
answer and kind of hammer out. Yeah. I
00:31:39
think something that I've realized and
00:31:42
I've been this is one of the things I've
00:31:43
been working on and talking to people a
00:31:46
lot more about is I look at the
00:31:48
iterations of like my grandparents to my
00:31:51
parents to me, right? Mh. And like my
00:31:54
grandparents, they have their own set of
00:31:56
issues and I can look at that and I can
00:31:58
go, okay, like I don't like XYZ about
00:32:00
them and and I can talk to my parents
00:32:02
and and my dad has been very vocal with
00:32:04
me about things that his dad did that he
00:32:05
didn't really like, right? And he's
00:32:06
like, so I tried to change those things.
00:32:08
My dad wanted to be very heavily
00:32:09
involved in my in my life. My grandpa
00:32:12
traveled a lot when my dad was a kid. So
00:32:14
my dad was like, I don't want to do
00:32:15
that. You know, he he intentionally
00:32:17
wanted to be in my life. And I'm like,
00:32:18
great. Well, there's things that my dad
00:32:20
did that I would never want to do if I
00:32:22
were to have kids or, you know, to, you
00:32:25
know, I just want to change that about
00:32:26
me. Right. Right. And that's to your
00:32:29
point of like kind of figuring out who
00:32:31
you are and taking the good stuff and
00:32:33
things that I'm like, yes, I love this.
00:32:35
This was a good thing. Right. I'm hang
00:32:37
on to that as tightly as I can. But then
00:32:38
also relearning to be like, okay, but I
00:32:40
think we can do these other things
00:32:42
better. Right. Yes. And so becoming the
00:32:44
better version and then hopefully for
00:32:46
you, for your kids, then they can take
00:32:47
what you and uh uh Chandler, right? Yes.
00:32:51
Yeah. Are right and take those things
00:32:54
and be even better versions of
00:32:55
themselves, right? And so, yeah, you
00:32:57
know, I think that's that's huge. And
00:32:59
it's cool that you're asking those
00:33:00
questions and
00:33:02
you know, it is tough. It also is tough
00:33:04
to find time for yourself, you know, to
00:33:06
be like to ask those things, right? And
00:33:08
it's scary. Yeah. and knowing that like
00:33:11
it's okay also to like to not you know
00:33:16
it's it's as you said it's like safe
00:33:18
that kind of environment that you grow
00:33:19
up in. It's like you're kind of almost
00:33:21
at least in me like I was kind of afraid
00:33:23
to like not you know continue with some
00:33:26
of the same beliefs and like same way of
00:33:28
doing things because it was like that
00:33:30
was safe and that was you know
00:33:31
comfortable but then as an adult you're
00:33:34
just like kicked out of the nest and
00:33:35
it's like okay like do I have to you
00:33:39
know hold on to that um and just like
00:33:41
deciding for my family what we want to
00:33:44
uh believe and how what we want to do
00:33:45
and it's like there's it's okay also to
00:33:49
like not have it all figured out. And
00:33:51
like I am just in a constant state of
00:33:54
learning and growing and questioning and
00:33:56
like the questioning part is a great
00:33:57
place like to be in because I think
00:34:00
sometimes when you grow up in that
00:34:01
environment it's like well this is just
00:34:03
the truth like you like this is just it
00:34:05
and you know you believe it everyone
00:34:07
believes it. Um and then but it's
00:34:09
actually actually like very healthy to
00:34:11
question and be like okay like where am
00:34:15
I at on this? um like it's okay to think
00:34:17
differently and not everyone thinks the
00:34:19
same and especially yeah in the real
00:34:21
world like everyone has a lot of
00:34:23
different viewpoints and opinions and
00:34:26
you know all their experiences lead up
00:34:28
to that and so it's just like there's a
00:34:30
lot of things but it's a really so like
00:34:34
it's interesting being I'm agnostic so
00:34:38
for me that means like I don't
00:34:40
necessarily know that there is something
00:34:43
I'm not an atheist but I'm not like I
00:34:45
don't necessarily believe in the God of
00:34:47
the Bible or you know I I just question
00:34:50
I just I sit in questions a lot and to
00:34:53
some people that like freaks them out.
00:34:55
They're like but how how do you how are
00:34:57
you comfortable with that? I'm like it's
00:34:58
just
00:35:00
I'm okay with it right now because like
00:35:03
I'm just I feel better asking questions.
00:35:07
I feel like I get a better understanding
00:35:09
of spirituality and the fact that I feel
00:35:13
comfortable going to a Buddhist text or
00:35:16
I can look back at the Bible and I can
00:35:18
ask these questions and I can go okay
00:35:19
let me look at this thing and let me see
00:35:21
it let me ask a question about it and
00:35:23
you know garner something from it right
00:35:26
and meditate on it and think on it it's
00:35:28
like I enjoy that I enjoy learning and
00:35:32
so that questions is a huge part of
00:35:35
learning right and so Yes, absolutely.
00:35:38
I'm comfortable. And again, it freaks a
00:35:41
lot of people out. They go, I don't know
00:35:42
how you could ever do that. And I'm
00:35:43
like, I just I just am I'm comfortable
00:35:47
in an uncomfortable way. And that
00:35:49
doesn't make sense to a lot of people,
00:35:50
but I'm like, that's just that's just
00:35:52
where I'm at, you know? Like you just
00:35:54
And it is. It's just that's where I'm
00:35:56
at, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Especially
00:35:58
like knowing that like at some point
00:36:01
you're just not going to have all the
00:36:02
answers. And like for people who just
00:36:05
want to know why why or how does this
00:36:06
make sense like me it's like sometimes
00:36:09
I've had to come like in my own like
00:36:11
personal like faith journey having to be
00:36:13
like you know what like I don't
00:36:14
understand this and that's okay like
00:36:16
it's okay to question what you were
00:36:19
taught like growing up like it's not
00:36:20
doesn't mean you're a bad person and I
00:36:22
think at first when I started like
00:36:24
questioning a lot it was like oh no like
00:36:25
I must be a bad person like there must
00:36:27
be something wrong with me for like
00:36:29
trying to step out and like oh no like
00:36:31
is that a sin to like start questioning
00:36:34
the narrative that I've been, you know,
00:36:35
taught and being like, "No, like it's
00:36:38
good and healthy for you to uh to
00:36:41
question things and to just be like, you
00:36:43
know, like I'm my own person now. I'm
00:36:45
I'm my own adult and now I have kids
00:36:47
that it's like I've got to figure out,
00:36:49
you know, I want them to be uh I don't
00:36:51
want them to be like sheltered and I
00:36:52
don't want them to be too overexposed to
00:36:54
certain things." It's like trying to
00:36:55
figure that out with them and their
00:36:58
school experience like how do I give
00:37:01
them the freedom to like choose to like
00:37:04
you know teach them what I think is is
00:37:05
good to know but also letting them have
00:37:08
the freedom to choose like their own
00:37:10
path as well. So it's like it's tricky
00:37:13
figuring that out. Well, let me let me
00:37:15
ask you this like too. So, you have two
00:37:17
sons. Like, what a as they're getting to
00:37:22
an age where school is starting to
00:37:23
become a reality for them. Like, what
00:37:26
are you looking at school-wise and
00:37:28
education wise? I I'm a big proponent of
00:37:31
like parents just being involved in
00:37:32
their education, which sounds like you
00:37:34
are. Um, but like what are you what is
00:37:36
going through your brain of like, okay,
00:37:38
you did the homeschool thing. Are you
00:37:39
going to homeschool your kids? Are you
00:37:41
going to send them public school? Are
00:37:42
you going to send them to private
00:37:42
school? like what what what are the
00:37:44
thought what is the thought process that
00:37:46
goes into that? Yeah. So, when we first
00:37:48
uh like were pregnant and everything, we
00:37:50
were very like passionate about um
00:37:51
homeschooling. And then um as life
00:37:54
happened, I had a really rough few years
00:37:57
um after my especially after like my
00:37:59
second son um and mentally just not
00:38:03
doing well on some things and and we
00:38:05
kind of realized like right now like
00:38:08
it's not really an option and um so
00:38:11
right now my uh six-year-old is in
00:38:14
kindergarten at their elementary school
00:38:16
and he loves it. Like it he has the best
00:38:20
time. It's like he's just thriving
00:38:22
completely. Like he's made so many
00:38:23
friends and it's like I'm still so new
00:38:26
to public school. I still don't know how
00:38:27
it works. So I find myself asking a lot
00:38:29
of questions like just because of being
00:38:31
homeschooled all my life. It's like oh
00:38:33
like what what is like and I think
00:38:34
there's a lot of uh I at least had a lot
00:38:36
of fear going into public school system
00:38:40
uh based on things that I had heard
00:38:42
whether they're truth or not you know
00:38:43
just kind of the fear around it like oh
00:38:45
no like how is my kid going to turn out
00:38:48
if they go to public school? Um, but for
00:38:50
right now, he's there and he's doing
00:38:52
really well. And then my four-year-old
00:38:54
is at a preschool program at our church.
00:38:56
They actually have like a a legit like
00:38:59
school within the church. Um, and so he
00:39:02
does like a half days there and has a
00:39:03
great time and does crafts and all the
00:39:06
things all the fun things that
00:39:07
preschoolers get to do. Yeah. Um and we
00:39:11
uh my there is a um one of our pastor's
00:39:15
wives is one of the main teachers at um
00:39:17
my older son's elementary school and so
00:39:20
she's been a really great like source of
00:39:22
information and answer all my questions
00:39:24
u and it's just like a really really
00:39:26
great school and so for now that's
00:39:28
working. it works best with our schedule
00:39:31
um because I'm working really early
00:39:32
mornings and my husband works works in
00:39:35
the evenings and having them be able to
00:39:37
have their own time because I think for
00:39:40
a long time being a stay-at-home mom I
00:39:42
realized that like I can't always handle
00:39:45
being around them 247
00:39:48
valid reasons, right? It makes you
00:39:51
applaud your mom maybe a little bit more
00:39:52
where you're like, "Damn, you put up
00:39:54
with us for that long?"
00:39:56
Yes. Yeah. It's like it's a whole new
00:39:59
ball game when you're a parent because
00:40:00
you're like, "Oh, wow." Like, "Woo, like
00:40:02
I can't believe my mom survived
00:40:04
this. Um, and yeah, it really changes
00:40:08
your perspective on things." Right now,
00:40:10
that's what works for us and we're
00:40:12
probably going to do that the next
00:40:14
couple years. Um, but we've definitely
00:40:17
our preference would be uh there's a lot
00:40:20
of factors like finances and stuff, but
00:40:22
our preference would be for them to go
00:40:24
to like a there's some really good like
00:40:25
private schools in the area. Um
00:40:27
especially for like super gifted kids
00:40:30
like both of my kids are extremely
00:40:32
extremely smart for their age like uh
00:40:35
and they like just the stuff they're
00:40:37
teaching in kindergarten like I was
00:40:39
teaching to them when they were like two
00:40:41
when I was trying to do a little bit of
00:40:42
home school and like they're just
00:40:44
naturally very very smart and I think a
00:40:47
lot of times um like in the public
00:40:49
school system it's like they they might
00:40:52
not get as recognized. It's kind of a
00:40:54
lot of things are expected, you know,
00:40:56
everyone learning this at the same pace,
00:40:59
uh, same level and stuff. And I I would
00:41:01
totally be interested in looking up
00:41:02
opportunities like within public school
00:41:04
for, um, you know, programs, uh, whether
00:41:07
they can start doing college classes
00:41:09
early like in high school or whatever. I
00:41:11
know there's again I really don't know a
00:41:13
lot about public schools so um there's
00:41:15
probably a lot of opportunities for that
00:41:18
but um yeah something I would really
00:41:21
love if they could like graduate early
00:41:24
and you know get a job and uh be able to
00:41:28
like take college classes or uh go to
00:41:31
university or go to a trade school or an
00:41:33
internship or something um instead of
00:41:36
waiting you know all the way up until 18
00:41:37
and then trying to figure stuff out. And
00:41:40
it's we're kind of open to a lot of
00:41:41
things. I am open to homeschooling um
00:41:44
for sure. I think it is it is hard for
00:41:46
me just with all my mental stuff to keep
00:41:49
on track of stuff and push them to their
00:41:52
full potential. And I feel like right
00:41:54
now they're their teachers are really
00:41:55
doing that for them. Um but come in a
00:41:58
couple years like we've definitely
00:41:59
talked about it. And I think nowadays
00:42:01
there's so many more resources like for
00:42:03
homeschool where like there's a lot of
00:42:05
online programs where you don't, you
00:42:08
know, have to be teaching them every
00:42:09
single thing because it's like I don't
00:42:11
remember any of this. Like sorry, you're
00:42:13
on your own. Yeah. But like there's a
00:42:16
lot of like programs that will like keep
00:42:18
track of all of your uh records and
00:42:21
stuff and like teach you all the things
00:42:22
you need to know. You just need to make
00:42:23
sure your kids do it. Um and then also
00:42:25
involving them in like sports and um
00:42:29
extracurricular stuff. So yeah, we're
00:42:32
kind of just like public school's
00:42:33
working for us right now. They love it.
00:42:35
Um and it's nice to have that time away
00:42:38
from my kids. I've learned that I really
00:42:40
need that for my own mental health. Hey,
00:42:43
that's important, too. You know, I mean,
00:42:45
my mom, hey, when I had her on the show,
00:42:48
and her and I have talked about this
00:42:49
many times of like, because my grandma
00:42:51
was really one of the big forces behind
00:42:53
like, you should homeschool your kids,
00:42:54
you should homeschool your kids. My mom
00:42:56
was like, "You want me to give up my day
00:42:58
of peace and quiet, being able to watch
00:43:00
Oprah, being able to go get coffee with
00:43:02
my friends, being able to all this stuff
00:43:04
to be around my demons?"
00:43:07
Uh, like, yes, it Yeah. I'm like, I look
00:43:10
at it, I'm like, she gave up a lot. Um,
00:43:14
and now she gets a quiet house cuz
00:43:15
nobody's there. She just has to put up
00:43:17
with my dad. But, you know, Yeah. Um,
00:43:21
but it I definitely I applaud you. Like
00:43:24
I think your mindset behind it is is
00:43:27
great. That's like what I think the idea
00:43:30
of just being able to be like, "Okay, I
00:43:31
know this about my kids and I want to
00:43:34
give them the best opportunity." Whether
00:43:36
that that's public school right now,
00:43:37
great. Like, we're going to do that.
00:43:39
Maybe it becomes home school. Who knows?
00:43:41
Maybe it becomes private school. we'll
00:43:42
see, you know, like and explore those
00:43:44
avenues and ask the questions, right?
00:43:46
It's like that's like awesome. That's I
00:43:49
think such a a powerful thing as a
00:43:51
parent that you can do. So, God bless to
00:43:53
you. Thank you. Yeah, it's it's hard.
00:43:55
there's so many decisions to make and
00:43:57
it's like you you really want the best
00:43:58
for your kids and you know once you kind
00:44:01
of let go of that fear because of my own
00:44:03
personal experience or you know just
00:44:06
don't read what you read on the internet
00:44:08
about public school and the the fear
00:44:10
about that like I I'm just seeing that
00:44:13
like it really is really great for now
00:44:15
and like I I just I don't necessarily
00:44:19
trust myself to like push them to their
00:44:21
fullest potential and that's what I
00:44:23
really want for them and so it's like
00:44:24
whether that means we do some kind of
00:44:26
program or yeah private school or um
00:44:28
stay in public school and it's like I
00:44:31
just want the best for them and I know
00:44:34
for me with my struggles it's just it's
00:44:36
hard to manage myself in a lot of ways
00:44:38
and so it's also extra hard to manage
00:44:40
kids on top of that so in a lot of ways
00:44:43
it's like if I can take care of myself
00:44:45
and have that time away then it's like I
00:44:47
can show up and be a better parent uh to
00:44:49
them and just knowing that like don't
00:44:52
have to figure it out right now just
00:44:54
like do what work for now. And you know,
00:44:56
you're not going to your decisions
00:44:58
aren't necessarily going to ruin your
00:44:59
kids. And I think there's a lot of fear
00:45:01
where it's like, oh crap, like if I
00:45:03
don't do it the way that I was raised,
00:45:04
then it's like they're going to be
00:45:05
ruined. And it's like, no, there's like
00:45:08
a lot of good on both sides. Um, and
00:45:11
it's like if I could like have a support
00:45:13
system and like a really good program, I
00:45:16
definitely probably would homeschool
00:45:18
them eventually. Um, but yeah, just not
00:45:20
having to worry about that right now and
00:45:22
kind of, you know, whatever works has
00:45:24
been working for us. So, yeah. No, I
00:45:26
like I I think too like the ability to
00:45:30
push them to their best potential. Like
00:45:32
you said, like there's levels to that.
00:45:35
This is my opinion, but I think there's
00:45:37
levels to that of like you need multiple
00:45:38
people in your life that do that for
00:45:40
you. Like I think about myself and I
00:45:43
think about like when I was in high
00:45:44
school and wanting to be the best
00:45:46
version of myself. I had obviously my
00:45:48
parents in my corner doing that, but I
00:45:50
also had people like your dad who were
00:45:52
like, you can go do this thing. I
00:45:54
believe in you, you know, and so having
00:45:56
people like that in my life who were
00:45:58
just like they, you know, your dad of
00:46:00
course was one of my teachers, but he
00:46:02
wasn't with me every single day, you
00:46:04
know, and so but having somebody like
00:46:06
that who also was just I know he's in my
00:46:08
corner was like phenomenal. It did so
00:46:10
much for my confidence as a person to be
00:46:12
like, "No, I can I can crush this. I got
00:46:14
this." you know, to your point of like,
00:46:17
yeah, okay, you know, as a teacher,
00:46:20
maybe you're like, I can't do that. I
00:46:22
can't imagine teaching. I'm like, I'm so
00:46:25
stupid when it comes to c certain
00:46:26
things. Um, but but I'm like, but I know
00:46:29
that like I can be in your corner and be
00:46:31
like your hype man and be pushing you to
00:46:33
be the best version of yourself, right?
00:46:35
And so it's like I know that that's a
00:46:36
strength of mine. Yeah. you know, and so
00:46:39
recognizing for yourself, these are my
00:46:41
strengths and I want to give these the
00:46:42
best that I can to my kids and I need
00:46:44
XYZ to do that, right? That's
00:46:47
phenomenal. That's, you know, I think
00:46:48
too many parents, they sacrifice so much
00:46:51
of themselves for their kids and it's
00:46:53
like they lose themselves. Something
00:46:55
I've talked about on the the show before
00:46:58
is that whole mentality of like our moms
00:47:00
not always knowing when to turn off
00:47:02
teacher to be mom again.
00:47:04
It's a tricky thing, right? And so
00:47:07
there's not that segmentation in the
00:47:09
homeschool world where it's like, okay,
00:47:11
now I'm putting mommy hat on and now
00:47:13
it's teacher time, right? And so, you
00:47:15
know, having some of that separation.
00:47:17
And my mom talks about this, too. She
00:47:19
was not a mentally healthy person when
00:47:20
she started homeschooling us. She got
00:47:22
better, but it still wasn't great. She's
00:47:25
more mentally healthy now that we're out
00:47:27
of it. And so, um, so anyway, I just I
00:47:31
say that to say like I think what you're
00:47:33
doing is great, like, and I applaud you
00:47:35
for it. So, keep it up. Thank you. Thank
00:47:37
you. Yeah, it's a journey for sure.
00:47:41
Okay. So, funny homeschool moments.
00:47:44
Anything come to mind while you've been
00:47:46
thinking about I I've had this one in my
00:47:47
brain that I don't know if you'll
00:47:49
remember this. You guys used to come
00:47:50
over to our house and play cards and
00:47:52
stuff and and there was one night my mom
00:47:56
made uh Mexican wedding cookies which
00:47:58
are covered in powdered sugar, right?
00:48:00
and she like spilled it all over herself
00:48:02
or something and she she would always
00:48:05
make this joke about like having sugar
00:48:06
boobs and I don't know why it killed you
00:48:09
for some you were dying laughing and
00:48:12
that is like one of my most vivid
00:48:14
memories with Katrin of just like her
00:48:16
dying laughing on the floor because my
00:48:18
mom was like I have sugar boobs and has
00:48:20
powdered sugar all over her shirt. Um so
00:48:23
anyway yes okay now that you mentioned
00:48:25
it I totally remember that. Like I had
00:48:27
not remembered that.
00:48:29
Yes, that was a quality time. I love
00:48:31
your mom so much. She's amazing. I love
00:48:33
her, too. But yeah, but I don't know.
00:48:37
And I know we've kind of been chatting
00:48:38
for a while back and forth like in DMs
00:48:41
and stuff, but has there been anything
00:48:42
that has stuck out to you of your like
00:48:45
as I'm kind of reminiscing about my
00:48:46
years as a homechool kid where you're
00:48:48
like, "This was just such a magical
00:48:50
moment that I like will go down in
00:48:52
history as like, you know, and it could
00:48:54
be insignificant. It could be literally,
00:48:57
you know, seem like nothing, but it just
00:48:59
meant something to you. Yeah. Oh, so
00:49:01
many things. Uh, well, for one, like I
00:49:04
know we've talked lots of talk about
00:49:05
this before, but all the swing dances
00:49:07
were like such a highlight of my
00:49:09
homeschool life. Um, and like the
00:49:12
English country dance like specifically
00:49:14
because like I love that like time
00:49:16
period and be able to dress up like when
00:49:18
do you ever have the chance to do that?
00:49:19
Like dress up and be able to do your
00:49:21
little dosey
00:49:22
dos. That was so so fun. And you know,
00:49:26
just all the the drama and the dances
00:49:28
like oh like it's the Satie Hawkins like
00:49:31
are you going to ask who are you going
00:49:32
to ask and are they going to think they
00:49:34
like you or you have a crush on them or
00:49:35
something like just all the silly drama
00:49:38
but it's just so it was such a wholesome
00:49:40
time and uh all the dancing and to this
00:49:44
day I don't know how public school
00:49:45
dances work but our homeschool dancing
00:49:48
was very very fun uh and lighthearted
00:49:51
and like I remember my favorite thing
00:49:54
was like I specifically like probably
00:49:57
with my gymnastics background like I
00:49:59
tried to learn like all the aerials and
00:50:01
all the like flips and the tricks and
00:50:02
then my favorite part would be like when
00:50:04
they call the snowball which is when
00:50:06
everyone gathers together and you get to
00:50:07
go in the middle and like being able to
00:50:09
just be like look at me guys like I can
00:50:13
do all these tricks like I'm just like
00:50:14
the best swing dancer ever. Yeah. No,
00:50:17
the snowball was great because Yeah. If
00:50:19
you're not familiar with like dance
00:50:20
culture, snowball is basically like it's
00:50:22
the time to show off. It's the time you
00:50:24
you really shake it cuz everybody's
00:50:25
looking at you cuz it's a giant everyone
00:50:27
circles up giant circle and one couple
00:50:30
goes to the middle and does whatever. Um
00:50:33
and they show off their you know their
00:50:35
special dance move and uh yeah. No, that
00:50:38
was always so much fun. Those dances are
00:50:40
like they're just it's just such an
00:50:43
iconic part of our homeschool experience
00:50:45
that it really is. I know other people
00:50:48
who were homeschooled or who have done
00:50:50
swing dance and stuff and it's just like
00:50:52
I talk about this with them and they're
00:50:53
like that sounds like so much fun. Like
00:50:55
it just I don't I haven't met anybody
00:50:58
who has had as close to an experience
00:51:00
when it comes to that stuff as the
00:51:02
achieve group solutions Ventura County
00:51:04
homechool groups. Yeah. Yeah. Like my
00:51:06
husband was homeschooled and he was just
00:51:08
like this was all unheard of to him and
00:51:11
it was just it was so fun that even like
00:51:14
once our kids are a little older and we
00:51:15
can you know spare the time in our busy
00:51:17
schedules like we've been wanting to you
00:51:19
know go take ballroom dance classes
00:51:20
together and just like it's such like a
00:51:22
inner child thing for me like so much
00:51:25
fun. Um and and yeah like doing all the
00:51:28
the dances and English country dance and
00:51:31
then like also doing like the musicals
00:51:33
in the summer. Shout out to the
00:51:34
Mitchells. Uh great time there. So fun.
00:51:38
Uh so much fun. Like I just love those
00:51:41
times. Yeah. Well, I think too like you
00:51:45
said it early on like you thrived in the
00:51:47
extracurricular in the dance and the
00:51:50
like in gymnastics and just like all the
00:51:52
extracurricular stuff. And that is like
00:51:55
very true of just like our shared homes
00:51:59
school experience. But just the
00:52:00
homeschool group that we grew up in the
00:52:01
the amount of extracurricular I just I
00:52:05
activities was so vast. There was mime
00:52:08
and dance and theater and there were
00:52:11
sports and airsoft and cooking and art
00:52:15
and like there was anything and
00:52:17
everything you could ever imagine was
00:52:18
like available to us and that was I
00:52:22
think what just made it so unique and
00:52:25
and now like getting to chat with
00:52:27
everybody and hear about their
00:52:28
experiences. Of course, like most of us
00:52:29
went to the dances. Most of us have that
00:52:31
as a shared experience, but hearing
00:52:33
their
00:52:34
unique stuff of like you you and your
00:52:36
sisters were really into gymnastics,
00:52:38
too. Um, which we haven't even really I
00:52:40
mean, we kind of touched on it, but that
00:52:42
was like a big part of your guys' life.
00:52:43
You guys worked there and you know,
00:52:45
that's like incredible. You know, who
00:52:48
who gets to say I don't know. I don't
00:52:50
know. I feel like not that many people
00:52:52
get to be like I was I did gym was my
00:52:54
life, you know, like Yes. And especially
00:52:57
being able to take my skills and then
00:52:59
doing at the dances being like, I can
00:53:01
use these skills here. Full circle.
00:53:03
Exactly. Kran, this has been so much
00:53:05
fun. I appreciate you
00:53:08
coming on the show, making this happen.
00:53:10
Um, I know it's been it's been a while.
00:53:11
It's been a couple months in the making,
00:53:13
but I'm glad we got some time. So, I'm
00:53:15
glad you were able to your husband.
00:53:17
Thank your husband for taking the kids
00:53:19
so you could have some time to chat with
00:53:21
me.
00:53:22
Yeah. Yes. It's so fun. I love
00:53:24
reminiscing on memories and it's just
00:53:27
Yeah. Thank you so much for having me on
00:53:28
here. Of course. Of course. It's my
00:53:30
pleasure and you're always welcome back.
00:53:32
So awesome. Yeah. Until next time, we'll
00:53:35
see you. All right. Peace.
00:53:37
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