00:00:04
well welcome back to the ex homeschoolers Club I am your host Jacob Gooden and uh today is going to be a lot
00:00:10
of fun I'm chatting with my friend Michaela uh most of you know her as Michaela Mahoney but she's no longer
00:00:17
Michaela Mahoney you are now Michaela am I GNA say this right minshaw no nope I didn't say that right at all Michaela
00:00:24
Harold yeah that's it my guest later today I'm interviewing a second person later today their last
00:00:30
name is minshaw um yeah you're booked up it's all good I'm booked up yeah I'm
00:00:35
very popular as we've as we figured out but Michaela thank you for coming on the
00:00:39
show Welcome to the ex homeschoolers Club thank you so much for having me I'm
00:00:43
really excited to be here awesome we're gonna have some fun so we I I know you
00:00:49
were you and your sister were better friends with my sister so I do know you um but I feel like I know you more from
00:00:56
like later years for me it's true yes and I think it is funny I think I don't remember who you were interviewing
00:01:03
that mentioned it but like there definitely were different clicks so I feel like I also know you from like the
00:01:09
cool homeschooler side where like the swing dancers like all of those and I just wasn't part of that crew so it's
00:01:15
funny to see the other side well you also lived you guys were in Oxnard is that right we were yeah so there's also
00:01:21
like the Oxnard ohigh Ventura like there was also yeah there was a lot of different different things going on I
00:01:27
think everyone also looked at each other as like well that's the cool group over
00:01:31
there like I would like to be a part of that group but the reality was like we all were just we all were just weirdos
00:01:37
you know oh right yeah exactly it was just like the cool kids were a little less weird than the other kids and true
00:01:43
we were all just weird together and it was great true okay so I know tell tell the folks a little bit about like your
00:01:51
homeschool Journey like were you homeschooled all the way through also like how many siblings like that kind of
00:01:57
thing like set the stage a little bit of like family life and then homeschool life yeah yeah so um our family life we
00:02:05
were a small little family it was just be and my sister Madison um and then we actually adopted my brother who's older
00:02:11
than me by a year way later he came when he was 13 so like junior high high school age um but my sister and I were
00:02:19
homeschooled all the way through um our dad was a pastor at the time and so his vacation days were really sporadic and
00:02:26
so they thought hey we should decide and our kids can go on vacation and we don't
00:02:31
have to deal with asking permission from a school to let them go on a vacation in
00:02:37
the middle of the school year so um that's kind of what they did and my mom just jumped right in she had a lot of
00:02:43
mom friends in the community that had already been homeschooling their kids so she had a good support system so it was
00:02:48
just me and my sister and then when my brother was adopted him and I ended up in all the same classes cuz he was held
00:02:54
back a year he's from Guatemala so he didn't speak any English uh which was
00:02:58
kind of a funny d damic it definitely created a sibling rivalry because I felt like I needed to do better grade wise
00:03:05
because he didn't even speak English right so I should be able to do better um but it was fun because then I had a
00:03:10
buddy to do all my school workk with so that was kind of what we did and obviously we did group Solutions um
00:03:16
which I think is what most people that have been on the podcast did and then we did that and Casa were you familiar with
00:03:22
Casa yeah that was like was that more that was more like the Oxnard crew right like Kasa Kasa was not achieve but it
00:03:30
was similar to achieve in that it was like a coalition of of homeschool families and then they did different
00:03:36
things together right like graduation things like that right yeah yeah and it was mostly like oxer cam Rio folks so a
00:03:43
little bit more in London and they did it interesting they actually hired teachers so the moms brought money
00:03:49
together and it wasn't just mom's teaching classes but we could sign up for like I did economics I did higher
00:03:54
Sciences higher maths and it was like actual teachers um which was helpful and I think less pressure for the moms um
00:04:01
and they also did a lot of sports that's why we did it because my brother wanted
00:04:03
to do basketball and and that kind of stuff yeah no that is interesting because yeah achieve didn't really have
00:04:10
much like that I know there were people like Mrs yep has been brought up on this
00:04:14
podcast a couple of times who taught a writing class and then obviously some of the moms were Educators and had gone to
00:04:21
school to be Educators but yeah there wasn't a lot of like actual like oh we
00:04:26
hired somebody to to teach a class so that's that's interesting and what were
00:04:31
those classes like like more of a traditional classroom setting or like what was like
00:04:37
size-wise and like things like that what did that look like yeah it really differed on how popular that class was I
00:04:43
think if you remember from group Solutions I always remember this so vividly the day where you had to sign up
00:04:48
for classes you wanted to be the first one in there so you could get your first picks for everything um because there
00:04:53
was like periods there was like three different sections of classes you could go get so Kasa was a little different in
00:04:59
the fact that it wasn't like periods back to back it really was you just go to the class that you would like so I
00:05:04
think it would range from like 8 to like 15 or 20 students in a classroom and we
00:05:10
met at a church so similar to group Solutions it wasn't like we went to a school or anything but right it was
00:05:16
small classes yeah so so you're saying also the classes were happy like let's
00:05:20
say on like a Tuesday or something like that right so You' go to one class on a
00:05:23
Tuesday and then maybe a different class on a Friday or something like that yep yep that's exactly what it was yeah you
00:05:28
just signed up to the different thoughts yeah okay that makes a lot more sense yeah because like group Solutions was
00:05:34
very much like all day like said three periods with the lunch break in there and um yeah and
00:05:41
then like a worship session beforehand and yeah and then Hangouts afterwards and stuff like that but it's true yeah
00:05:48
so kind of a different very much a different Dynamic um yeah that's super super interesting and did
00:05:57
you I'm trying to remember did you say you were homeschooled all the way through or at what point did your family
00:06:02
switch to home school so we were all the way through yeah um when I got to high school my parents did give me the option
00:06:08
they said hey like if you want to go to regular school now like you absolutely can we were in a different stage of life
00:06:13
so it wasn't as important I mean more for us to be homeschooled but um we lived right across the street from oxer
00:06:19
high and I saw all of the kids walking home from school every day and I was like that's so scary I don't know what I
00:06:25
would do I like have my group of friends it's okay just the thought of being the
00:06:29
new kid in a real school felt so intimidating so I chose to stay home schooled because I also liked that if I
00:06:37
planed my day right I could finish my school day whenever I wanted really uh and I felt like I was very
00:06:43
much in charge of my own schedule in that way so yeah I opted for homeschooling all the way through yeah I
00:06:50
feel like this isn't true for everybody but like I I went to public school for uh first
00:06:58
kindergarten in first grade and I feel like I I would have wanted to stay in like a public school setting
00:07:05
maybe in those earlier years but by high school yeah like the ability to like dictate your own schedule and be done by
00:07:11
a certain time and then go do something fun or have a job or like anything like that it's like so interesting and
00:07:18
different and unique and I think It prepares I think it prepared me a lot more for like regular life right because
00:07:26
it sounds like your parents also kind of gave you the freedom to be like well you
00:07:30
are you're in charge of your day kind of a thing yeah no that's so true and I
00:07:33
think even thinking now like if I were to do something like homeschool for my own kids I think I would do it like you
00:07:40
said like have them in school for the first couple formative years have them make friends socialize all that and then
00:07:47
in high school let them choose really um not I don't think my parents did the
00:07:51
wrong way I don't think there is a wrong way every family is different and every
00:07:55
parent is different but um I do think you're right like the school cuz even I'm really involved with some younger
00:08:02
girls in my community like I just Mentor them and the things that they deal with
00:08:07
in school now is crazy and I think it's just getting worse like you know bullying and mental health stuff and
00:08:14
it's just wild out there so it's different times for sure yeah yeah no but it's also it it's also easier now
00:08:23
than ever to like learn stuff you know there's so much access to information
00:08:28
and so it it's funny because I was chatting with someone who they're worried about like their grandson is
00:08:36
potentially going to be homeschooled and they're like I don't know like I'm just
00:08:40
you know they're they they sent their kids to regular school and then you know
00:08:44
and now their their son is like thinking about homeschooling these kids and and the Grandma's just like she's worried
00:08:50
and I'm like I'm like there's so much information out there and also like if
00:08:54
it doesn't work then like they can always go to regular school or they can go to private school or they can do
00:09:01
whatever like it can always be pivoted to change um but you know I was like look at me I
00:09:07
turned out semi-normal yes I know so it's funny that you say that someone didn't know I
00:09:13
was homeschooled and was talking to like this group of people who was like my wife wants to homeschool our kids and
00:09:18
I'm just scared that they're going to start making skirts out of our curtains
00:09:21
and I was like laughing to myself I was like I promise that's not everyone so
00:09:25
then I was like I was home school and he was like you were and first of all that's always a compliment when
00:09:30
someone's like I had no idea but that's the same thing I told him I was like
00:09:35
it's so different like it all depends on you know what your goal is with homeschooling are you trying to Shield
00:09:41
them from the world then maybe maybe they'll make scps out of there but as long as they're socialized and you guys
00:09:47
are doing a great job it's fine yeah so that no that's hilarious because we I I
00:09:54
know you weren't necessarily someone who made a skirt out of a curtain but we
00:09:58
definitely knew people who did that yes yeah there was a little bit of everything yeah you have to see
00:10:03
different personalities family personalities Dynamics yeah absolutely so so being homeschooled all the way
00:10:12
through um was there like is there something you feel like your parents did really really well or
00:10:21
like or they could have done a little bit better it sounds like your mom kind of asked for like joining something like
00:10:27
Casa right is is and sending your kids off to a class is like kind of helpful like my mom did that with areas where
00:10:35
she was like I'm not super strong in this area right so we need to help find
00:10:38
something somebody to help so you know you talked a little bit about that but like is there anything that as you've
00:10:45
gotten older and you kind of look back you go mom you kind of missed this like this would have been really helpful and
00:10:51
not to be like you know not to shame them it's just mostly to point out the fact that it's like you know hey like we
00:10:58
can you know for fut Generations we can do better yeah yeah no for sure um I think funny enough later is when she
00:11:06
realized when she signed us up for Kasa like oh I can't teach everything like I
00:11:10
really do need to to send them off somewhere that will teach them more than I can um I think it was Lizzy flag boom
00:11:19
that talked about the apologia books and I feel like the one thing we did was switch around with curriculums a lot
00:11:25
which is fair because if you start one and you don't really know like what you're getting into and then it's like
00:11:32
harder or easier than you think then you're like okay like we'll keep going
00:11:36
but I do think we swapped around a lot which was a little bit hard I kind of wish there was I think that's something
00:11:41
that would be easier for families now it's so much easier to research the curriculums and really pick one that is
00:11:48
probably trustworthy and a well-rounded um view uh but CA helped a lot and I think something she did really well was
00:11:56
set us up with like uh I don't know what you would call it I guess like when they
00:12:01
set up your grades to go apply for colleges or set up a resume and so she really did help us set up our like life
00:12:08
goals and she was the one that encouraged me to just really kind of what whatever you want to do is great so
00:12:15
she was very like you're in charge like we're just here to support you which is
00:12:19
really really helpful so it was a good balance she was trying her best yeah no that's cool too that like yeah cuz my my
00:12:26
my mom also was very particular about like okay we gotta like the goal was if he wants to go to college he needs to be
00:12:32
able to get into college right so one he's got to be smart enough to do that
00:12:35
but two we got to have all the paperwork figured out so that when it gets to that
00:12:39
point it's easy to figure out share a little bit about like transitioning out
00:12:43
of homeschooling and then into the real world because um we're chatting a little
00:12:47
bit before you didn't go to college but you did some other type of schooling so
00:12:52
share a little bit about that transition and like you know why you decided that it was actually one of my class of
00:12:57
teachers it was um my economics teacher Mr Wu he was great he always wore oversized t-shirts like button-up dress
00:13:05
shirts that were 10 times too big for him it was just a character trait I loved it uh he really instilled in me
00:13:11
that college wasn't super necessary if you wanted to do something obviously if
00:13:16
you're going to be a doctor or a scientist please go to college but if you're you're not he was like there's so
00:13:22
many other avenues you can take and he started giving me all those possibilities that I had never thought
00:13:26
of before because I think it really is such a social standard to go from school to college and if you don't have a
00:13:32
degree you're really looked down upon in the Working World so um he started yeah
00:13:38
giving me those ideas so when I finished high school I really didn't know what I
00:13:42
wanted to do and I didn't want to go get into a bunch of student loan debt just
00:13:47
to figure that out um so my mom was the one that suggested she said hey you know
00:13:53
this is something you enjoy which is like Hospitality we were the house that always had birthday parties and I love
00:13:59
loved planning them for my friends and so she found a certification program for event management um which is what I
00:14:06
ended up doing so it was perfect because right after high school I got a job as a
00:14:10
braa and I was able to do that full-time while I did online like schooling for event management and it was really
00:14:17
Hands-On it taught you everything from like how to read a contract how to negotiate a deal and how to lead your
00:14:23
clients through this whole process so I loved it and so right when I finished that it was about a year and a half
00:14:29
um they said two years but again I think homeschooling gave me the edge up because I was used to working
00:14:35
independently and figuring out I SCH so I finished it in a year and a half and right after that um I became a wedding
00:14:43
planer uh one of my friends was a wedding planner at AV venue and a job opened up and I had just finished my
00:14:49
certification and they said that's perfect so I did that for a couple years and I I loved
00:14:54
it so from then on I've just yeah the different event stuff I've been an event director for a nonprofit I'm in
00:15:01
marketing now but I still think it it helps my event management knowledge and I think it really has helped me build on
00:15:08
each step and I think not having a college degree hasn't hurt me a ton because I've been able to get experience
00:15:15
from such a young age and build on that resume so it turned out okay yeah no that's awesome because like so I went to
00:15:21
college for entertainment and specifically music but um but I wanted to manage bands but part of program was
00:15:29
we had a venue on campus and we would throw these events and we helped with uh you know if the if the board for the
00:15:35
school came to town you know who who's picking up who at the airport like we
00:15:39
would do that kind of stuff and run Logistics these lunches and the logistics and you know all the behind
00:15:44
the scenes stuff that goes into all these types of things and so it was really cool that that whole Arena of
00:15:50
event planning is very interesting and yeah you don't need a college degree to
00:15:54
be good at it um right but it is really cool what Pro do you remember what the program was that you got your
00:16:01
certificate through yes um it was called the New York Institute of Art and Design
00:16:07
okay so they they have a ton of different things from event stuff but they have like interior design or um art
00:16:15
specifically so it's really more of a creative Outlet kind of a website schooling thing it was really cool no
00:16:22
it's funny that you bring that up because I also looked at that when I was thinking about going to school because I
00:16:27
was also on the fence of like College some kind of a certificate I looked into a couple those different programs and
00:16:34
that kind of a thing so that's funny I'm I'm very familiar with what you're
00:16:37
talking about now that's very cool yeah I usually people have no idea what I'm
00:16:40
talking about so it's very cool that you know yeah no and it helps too that like
00:16:45
like you said you knew somebody who was an event planner for weddings right and so so then you kind of also have that
00:16:51
leg up and this is why I think it's so important to going back to like homeschool days right it's
00:16:58
like right we grew up in environments that we were not just isolated to just our families we had friends we knew
00:17:05
people we like we also a lot of times also were encouraged to like know how to carry conversation with adults right and
00:17:13
so you learn how to kind of like be friendly and build this network very young and I don't know about you but for
00:17:20
me that's what's carried my career for oh what it is today 100% And I think
00:17:26
what's funny is when I was younger I was in groups and Cass and all that I was
00:17:31
such a shy kid but even looking back like it still did teach me all of those skills I feel like I'm so extroverted
00:17:39
now and I'm so comfortable talking to people and even some of my co-workers that are scared to like call someone on
00:17:44
the phone I'm like oh it's okay I'll do it yeah but I think it's because of that
00:17:47
I didn't realize how normal it was at such an early age for us even though I
00:17:51
was shy it really did set me up for Success yeah so you're no longer in the event space You Now work in marketing so
00:17:57
talk about that pivot too because that's that's kind of a drastic pivot and
00:18:01
sometimes that can be hard to get into if you don't have a degree right it's
00:18:05
true I really do feel like I faked it till I made it here I don't know how yeah but so I was working as an event
00:18:11
director at a nonprofit which was great I loved it um but just some things are changing and I was kind of getting burnt
00:18:18
out I was doing events most weekends and there's just a lot of travel involved so
00:18:22
I was like I just need something different so again there was a connection that she used to work at the
00:18:27
nonprofit I work for she had connections with the CEO of the marketing company that I had heard of um
00:18:33
so I just reached out to her and I said hey I'm looking for a career change like
00:18:36
if there's anything opening or if you know of anything I would love it yeah so
00:18:40
she was like oh yeah you'd be great you just need to be organized that's the key
00:18:44
thing everyone's like oh you're organized you can keep a tdo list and get things done great but you're hired
00:18:50
yeah so um she gave me a recomendation which was so kind of her and I initially interviewed for a project management
00:18:58
role uh which didn't end up working out and then they were like but actually there's
00:19:02
another role it's an account executive so they're the people who work directly
00:19:06
with the clients um but they needed someone to support those account Executives so basically I run the
00:19:13
logistics for these account Executives they have so much on their plate and they have they have to keep track of
00:19:19
different projects and deadlines and sending things to clients and essentially it's what it was doing for
00:19:24
events just for venues and different clients and so I just transferred my skills over and now I have learned so
00:19:33
much about marketing and I didn't realize how much like you know networking and knowing your client
00:19:39
that's a huge thing like for marketing you need to know what does your client
00:19:43
want the audience to know and what do you want them to be like oh I do need that service I'm going to go to that
00:19:48
company so it's been really fun to just get to know this different aspect and uh
00:19:54
I feel like it's just something else I get to add to my resume I can't stay in
00:19:57
one place for very long I think that's the other thing I just love learning new
00:20:00
things and going to the next thing so it's been fun marketing and and the the
00:20:05
internet and like social media management and like all these types of things client management it's such a I I
00:20:12
say black hole in a good way right because there are so many different paths that you can go down as you go
00:20:17
further and further into it right and um oh man it's like so wonderful because
00:20:23
like I've shared this story before on this on the show but like I worked at a
00:20:28
restaurant I hated my life it was just awful I managed a restaurant and like it was a fine job it was good but I was
00:20:34
like I need out of this I want to do marketing I want to work I want to be creative right and so I started doing an
00:20:41
internship that was like or I started taking these online classes that were these marketing classes and like
00:20:47
learning how to use you know a website builder and learning how to post on Instagram effectively and like all these
00:20:52
different things and part of their program was you could do a three-month internship and I was like okay I mean
00:20:59
I'm not GNA get paid but it's 10 hours a week let me just do it and it hooked me
00:21:02
up with a podcast and I was like okay so I'm the marketing guy for this podcast
00:21:06
now cool interesting and then because I had a a some experience with audio stuff
00:21:13
and then I ended up editing a show for them and then it didn't spiral down until like then I was producing for them
00:21:18
and then I was doing video for them and all of these things like you said if you
00:21:22
have kind of the Baseline understanding of like know how to be organized know how to like learn that's another key
00:21:28
thing is like we both had experiences where we we knew how to like structure our day and we knew how to like teach
00:21:36
ourselves right and find the information and so if you can do that well you can do anything you want in the world
00:21:43
because there's like there's no lack of information at this point on the
00:21:46
internet right um everything I know about video editing about starting this podcast all that kind of stuff is like
00:21:53
just I've picked up along the way fig it out right I didn't get a degree
00:21:57
in this you know which is so cool and I feel like that's the other thing do you feel
00:22:03
like group Solutions specifically I feel like that was more of my creative outlet
00:22:07
they had so many electives you could take that really helped us explore like those different creative things that we
00:22:13
could be good at so like there was a guitar class there was a cake decorating class and I'm like oh this is fun and I
00:22:19
feel like do you feel like it set you up to be like oh yeah I can try different things like I I think to some degree yes
00:22:27
I think what did did more of that for me was I I took guitar lessons from Tim France um two of his daughters have been
00:22:36
on the show so far Carrie and ellia um you know them very well um we do yes and and katrin's coming on very soon so you
00:22:45
know you'll complete the trifecta the exactly I'm like I'm collecting my
00:22:49
Infinity Stones um yes but but yeah their dad was my guitar teacher and so like and then I worked for him for a
00:22:58
couple years and like learned so much that way and then also like being in bands and being around people who just
00:23:05
were creative right so yeah I don't know that group Solutions itself was like
00:23:09
that outlet as much for me I took a lot more I feel like regular classes in group Solutions like English class and
00:23:17
science class and things like that that's not to say I I also took fun classes I remember taking games class
00:23:22
and I remember um I have an interview with John slag Boon coming up and we're
00:23:25
going to talk about I took his like was basically Scouts class um yes I remember
00:23:30
that I took the girl version with Mrs floom yeah so yeah so I think I'm glad
00:23:38
that it was that creative outlet for you but yeah I don't know that I I don't
00:23:43
know that it was for me but no that's interesting and I feel like even that like it's such a different experience
00:23:48
for each person and maybe it's because I got that more structured set of classes
00:23:52
at Casa that I felt like I could just do more fun things at group Solutions but yeah I do think it's cool I think a lot
00:23:59
of homes school kids are very entrepreneurial uh because they care you know yeah no did you at any point in I
00:24:05
don't know Junior High High School like have kind of like your own business a little bit I I mean I would
00:24:12
teach piano classes I've taken piano for like my whole life so I did piano lessons and that was kind of my own
00:24:17
company and uh my sister and I were always coming up with different ideas to like sell or make on Etsy so yes I guess
00:24:24
you're right we did yeah no I I I was in that same place where when I looked back
00:24:31
and I was like oh I did this like I baked cookies for this and like and sold them and then or like guitar lessons or
00:24:37
whatever I was like oh my gosh like no I've been like an entrepreneur for a very long time and uh and I didn't
00:24:43
realize that until semi recently I was like having a conversation with my dad and he's like he's like no like you've
00:24:49
you've been this thing for forever right yes and it's because we had the time too like we could do it in
00:24:56
between our our school work or whatever so yeah it it came easy but it was fun yeah do you think that
00:25:05
like I'm trying to figure out how to Pivot this a little bit into you know like homeschooling obviously there's
00:25:13
there's a lot of I feel like we had we had some shared experience of just the
00:25:17
fact that like we had parents who cared very much about like getting us to the end goal not just the end goal being
00:25:24
high school but the end goal being you're going to build some kind of career build some kind of life after
00:25:28
that right and you know so they put us in environments where we we were able to be social we were able to learn about
00:25:34
the things we're interested in um but there's still also like a lot of like
00:25:40
mental things that go on in The Homeschool world that is not like yeah I don't want to say it's not Traditional
00:25:46
School it it's different um yeah you know everyone has their own mental health battles um and things like that
00:25:53
but do you feel like because I know for me I always I I grew up with this understanding that I felt like the odd
00:26:00
man out always even within the homes School Community I had friends I had new people but I just knew that as a
00:26:06
homeschooler we were the odd men out we were just different you know and so like
00:26:10
it's taken a long time to get to that point now where it's like I can be I am
00:26:14
who I am and people can either accept or deny that that's that's just what it is
00:26:19
yes and I I totally yes I agree I had the same experience at thought I think that's part of why I was so painfully
00:26:26
shy as a child cuz you do feel like that Outsider and it's a little bit harder
00:26:30
because you go to places like group Solutions but even then there's clicks so on top of being homeschooled and
00:26:35
feeling like an outsider there's still like friend groups that you feel like
00:26:38
you're on the outside of and you don't see them as often so it's harder to get
00:26:43
past those boundaries whereas I think kids in normal school learn so much quicker they're like oh I seen these
00:26:49
kids every day doesn't matter what they think or I mean I'm sure there's still
00:26:52
hard Parts but in my mind I feel like that would be such a different experience but now in my adult life
00:26:58
looking back I do think like I am so much more outgoing because I've gotten past that and because I think my parents
00:27:04
have gotten past some of that too I think they have some past like from their parents trauma like generational
00:27:11
stuff where they tried to keep with like so many things religion it could be like
00:27:16
how they went about like making rules in their house like transitioning from being like an a kid who needs to live by
00:27:23
their rules to like an adult to like I can now disagree with you and having those convers ations which is always
00:27:29
such a hard transition I feel like there is a point where you start almost parenting your parents through things
00:27:34
where you're like no let me tell you what I learned like it's okay to not
00:27:38
know something or it's okay to like be scared of this thing but let me tell you
00:27:41
why you might be scared of this thing I feel like I've dived so much into like
00:27:47
inogram stuff are you familiar with inrs yeah refresh my memory just a little bit but yes I do know what it is
00:27:54
so it's kind of some people love them some people hate them but it's basically
00:27:57
just nine numbers that break down personality types and it's basically like the core
00:28:03
of who these people are so what they're motivated by so for example I'm an
00:28:07
indogram n and it's Peacemaker so all I want is for everyone to get along all
00:28:11
the time and I will do anything to make that happen yeah I Rel that okay yeah uh
00:28:17
but my sister for example is an eight so she's the opposite they are all about
00:28:21
like confrontation and they're not afraid of it and they have opinions on everything so it's been cool to like
00:28:29
dive into something like that where I think when I was younger and under my parents where we were in a church that
00:28:34
was pretty uh conservative that wouldn't have agreed with any of that like um
00:28:40
they were very much like if there's something wrong in your life or you're
00:28:43
depressed or have any kind of mental issue it's definitely sin and it's like
00:28:48
okay no there's so many other reasons that yeah someone could be struggling with something like there's imbalances
00:28:53
and brain chemicals and like all of these things so um it's been fun to be on the other side now to explore all of
00:29:01
that and teach my parents that and see them come out of things that they have been trapped in they're like oh I don't
00:29:06
have to think that way or this is why I think that way so I don't know that's
00:29:10
just been really cool and I think because we have such a good relationship they've been open to it so I'm very
00:29:15
thankful for that yeah um but yeah it's been cool no that's that's interesting
00:29:20
you brought up the the sin thing which I think is interesting because yeah there
00:29:26
are certain things like and you know we're all on our own Journeys but I I've
00:29:31
done these unpacking in the last couple years of the fact that like yeah there was within Christianity
00:29:38
for anyone who's listening who's not familiar with Christianity there's a
00:29:41
whole spectrum of beliefs of like the the severity of the Bible right like the how literal you take it and all these
00:29:49
different things right and then there's also kind of this politicized version of
00:29:54
the of church as well where there's like the rule creator that are like where did
00:29:59
this rule come from we don't even know at this point because like it's not even
00:30:03
biblical it's just built into the fabric of that church right or that particular
00:30:08
you know Calvary Chapel are different than Southern Baptists and Southern Baptists are different than
00:30:12
non-denominational and you know Etc right um yes so when you said that that stuff about you know okay so you have
00:30:20
this mental health block right of like maybe it's depression or something like
00:30:24
that right and that being it's caused by sin yes what like what do you do with that
00:30:31
because you know like the I mean the whole premise of of Christianity right is like you accept Jesus into your heart
00:30:38
he pays the ultimate Price He washes your sins away right and then you continue to do repentance throughout the
00:30:43
years because as humans we just naturally mess up and make mistakes and sin um but yeah why doesn't that go away
00:30:51
if I'm praying about it and I'm asking for forgiveness why doesn't that
00:30:55
depression go away or why doesn't whatever that that thing is so that's that's really interesting and I would
00:31:00
love to hear kind of more about unpacking that with your parents because I think learning to have tough
00:31:06
conversations with your parents is like very free um my family's doing the same
00:31:12
thing so yeah if you're comfortable share a little bit more about that because it's fascinating so it was kind
00:31:18
of a wild journey and I think the Turning Point didn't even happen until about four years ago because we were at
00:31:23
a church in Los Angeles it was a pretty big church and my dad was up in pastor at this big church and so it was very
00:31:30
much like you have to be viewed as perfect you and your family so we always lived with that pressure not only being
00:31:36
pastor's kids but pastor's kids at a mega church where everyone watched our
00:31:41
every move and in that whole thing I mean so much drama and political stuff happen
00:31:48
within churches and Leadership it's wild so um something major happened and like
00:31:53
a bunch of rumors came out about my dad and everything just kind of like hit the
00:31:59
wall everything spiraled out of control and that was the point where we were like wow this is crazy because these are
00:32:05
people who are holding us to like a ridiculous standard who are not happy that things are not going their way and
00:32:11
they're willing to do crazy things for this so yeah uh we decided to leave that
00:32:16
church and that was the first time that like I had seen my dad like really stressed about something and like really
00:32:21
struggling through this um and so I think leading that church was just a huge Plus that opened up a lot of doors
00:32:29
and then also seeing him be just like human not viewed as perfect and like he's like I'm not perfect like this is
00:32:35
just not what is what it is and like we decided to move to Florida to be closer to family and we just went to church we
00:32:41
weren't involved in anything he wasn't the pastor of anything and I think that
00:32:46
transition really helped us open up as a family to be like okay that was wild right we never want to go back okay cool
00:32:53
so what what do each of us think what was our thought so I mean each of us had a different perspective uh like I think
00:33:00
I was more mad at the church for a really long time because I was like this is ridiculous like everyone is um put on
00:33:09
that pedestal everyone expects you to to live that way and I just really hated that so other my sister was like No just
00:33:15
these specific people were the bad guy not the church and all that so coming to the other side and going to not so much
00:33:22
of a conservative Church um here in Florida helped a lot because I there needs to be a balance and that's kind of
00:33:29
what we ended up saying like um you need mental health you need therapy you need
00:33:36
psychiatrists and everything to support you through this journey that is life and we do live in a sinful world so we
00:33:42
can't get away from that but like if you have a balanced View and you're not just
00:33:46
like legalistic about everything then you're good so that whole journey sorry
00:33:51
that was a long way to say that was great okay it's um that's really what
00:33:57
changed dynamic between us and our parents I think because then uh we were always scared to open up and bring
00:34:03
things up with them because not that we were afraid that they would judge us our
00:34:07
parents were very loving and I think we always had a good relationship with them
00:34:11
but it was that outward pressure of I don't want you to have the worry of like
00:34:17
oh these people might see my kids is perfect or like you know just the stereotypical like church family like so
00:34:27
I don't know if that makes sense but I feel like that it does so for a little bit of my dad was not a
00:34:33
pastor but my dad grew up in a house with with somebody who was a teacher um I don't know he was
00:34:41
necessarily a pastor but he taught theology you know that kind of stuff yeah and my dad always talks about and
00:34:46
this was lived out in my life too was like on the way to church everyone's screaming at each other in the car
00:34:51
they're all pissed off everybody's angry you get out of the car Church the happy
00:34:55
smiles go on you walk in the doors and everything's okay right you just push it
00:35:00
all down you set it aside and then you're thinking maybe later we're going
00:35:04
to deal with this right we're going to talk about it we're gonna whatever and
00:35:07
then you just never do right you just go about the rest of your life and it's
00:35:10
like and that was kind of what I grew up with too was kind of that similar mentality because that was what my dad
00:35:15
had grown up doing and my mom to some degree and so that's what that's what
00:35:19
they just did to us because it was like well that's what we know right that's
00:35:23
that's the solution and then it starts to manifest itself in these really nasty
00:35:27
way right and then when it comes out you're like oh my God this is disgusting
00:35:32
right you know it comes out like cancer comes out in sickness it comes out in like you know crazy like weight loss
00:35:38
stuff it's you know like really unhealthy you know mental health struggles and physical health struggles
00:35:44
as well yeah to be a pastor's kid too there's just that added level of like
00:35:50
all eyes are on me you know it's true yeah I could even like sit next to a boy
00:35:55
at church because then everyone was like oh my gosh is that your boyfriend like what are you do so it was funny I laugh
00:36:00
at it now I think at the time it was probably tramatic but it's just so funny
00:36:05
but yeah and I think you're right like I well I think that's such a big thing
00:36:09
because you look up to your parents for so long right and then once you realize that they also struggle with things
00:36:14
you're like oh we can relate to each other like this is cool like we get to talk about this now so yeah that's
00:36:19
helpful yeah so do you feel like you kind of maybe like I don't want to say healed from it faster than your like
00:36:29
family did but obviously you were talking about like then learning to like kind of parent your parent um in a way
00:36:36
so is it one of those things where you feel like oh I kind of got to this understanding of like whether it was the
00:36:41
therapy or just reading and and gaining knowledge right where you're like okay
00:36:45
I'm at this place where I'm happier and I'm starting to understand like taking
00:36:48
certain things with you know I need a therapist or I need you know some kind of drug or whatever you know to help
00:36:55
with depression whatever it is but like that that then you were able to like flip around and be like okay Mom Dad
00:37:03
like you might also benefit from this kind of a thing yeah yeah yeah I do feel like even when we were at that church in
00:37:11
La um I was super interested in Psychology I thought it was so fascinating just a study of how the
00:37:17
brain works and people's psychology uh so that's what I originally wanted to go
00:37:23
to school for um but my parents are like no our church doesn't believe in that I
00:37:29
don't think you should like all that kind of thing so I was already exploring
00:37:33
all of that set of things on my own reading books uh that kind of stuff so I think that did help prepare me for the
00:37:40
aftermath of like okay I kind of know how people's brains work and I just need
00:37:46
to know what trauma you guys are reacting this way because of if that makes sense um so I think my sister and
00:37:54
I both my sister went to therapy pretty quickly after that uh for the first time
00:37:58
because if it wasn't biblical counseling then you couldn't go but obviously
00:38:03
that's not always the answer so she did therapy I was already familiar with a
00:38:06
lot of that kind of stuff so I do think that helped in the transition but I think it was definitely our whole family
00:38:11
at the same time being like okay we just need to try something new break out of this super conservative legalistic
00:38:18
lifestyle so uh yes and no I think it was all of us at the same time but I think my sister and I had a little leg
00:38:23
up yeah okay okay from personal experience and then also from doing a lot of research anytime somebody is
00:38:30
trying to deny you access to information right whether it's like like you said your
00:38:36
church was saying psychology not really real not really relevant whatever I grew
00:38:40
up in an area where there was a lot of witches you know kind of interested in the oul whatever when someone's telling
00:38:46
you no don't go down that path it's usually not coming from a place of like
00:38:51
it it's coming from a place of control because typically um be and and wanting
00:38:58
to deny and fear because they're wanting to deny you access to that information
00:39:02
because they fear that once you have access to that information you will continue to make
00:39:07
more choices for yourself and choices that will lead you away from what they believe right and so Christianity is
00:39:15
very very used to doing this over and over and over again um like you said also like receiving counseling at a
00:39:22
church typically those people are not trained therapists no no they're not with the Bible and that is about it and
00:39:31
you know not everything in the Bible is bad but it's just you know sometimes you just got to learn how
00:39:36
to do other things right it's like your brain works other ways um it's true and
00:39:42
I think that's the other thing like I mean I still go to a church and I I would still consider myself a Christian
00:39:47
but it's very much different from what I grew up with because I think there is
00:39:51
that balance you know like uh we believe what the Bible says but also like we believe that the gave us all of these
00:39:58
resources for a reason like why are we trying to like limit people and control people and like that's not the way he
00:40:03
would want anyone to live so yeah yeah I think it's it's very fascinating and
00:40:08
everyone's Journey down all of that is so fascinating to me yeah man that is
00:40:16
that's a lot to unpack but is a lot I'm glad I'm glad you've kind of come out
00:40:21
the other side of it and obviously I'm sure there are things that you know there's just things that we will always
00:40:26
continue to deal with as as we go through life but I'm glad to hear that you're kind of out of it out of the
00:40:32
worst of it it sounds like yes yes we made it to the other side we're good and
00:40:36
now I feel like it's fun to be able to help other people who might be going through that I think Church HT is just
00:40:40
such a real thing and so yeah being able to be a resource for for people who've
00:40:45
gone through that is yeah super important to me because it's it's a lot yeah no it is it is well and it's cool
00:40:52
too that you're like your dad somebody who was a prominent figure inside of a
00:40:57
big church is able to also like hopefully help people and share his story and share you know and and heal
00:41:05
from his own past stuff is also very very important um and you know I tell people this all the time I'm like it's
00:41:12
never too late to go get some help it's never too late you know and you know you
00:41:17
alluded this to this as well but like you know families that can then like talk about the stuff that happened
00:41:24
behind closed doors like I feel still so close to my parents yeah and we have gone through stuff
00:41:33
right there has needed to be apologies there's needed to be relearning and we
00:41:36
don't agree on everything but we're we're still like they're still my folks
00:41:41
I still love them I still want to go see them they still come visit me like there's no cutting off yeah but it's
00:41:46
because they were also open to the fact that to have conversation and to heal and learn and be good people basically
00:41:54
yeah yeah that's the key and also I feel like I'm so excited about like our generation
00:42:00
and you mentioned this on your last podcast that you are not sure if you and your wife want kids and my me and my
00:42:05
husband are also not sure we all kids but thinking about this generation I feel like we've come such a long way
00:42:11
with all of our mental health and conversations and like all that kind of stuff and just creating our opinions
00:42:18
that I think are so much healthier than the past couple Generations that I'm
00:42:22
just excited to see what happens I think it'll be really cool yeah no I I agree with you and I think whether you
00:42:30
want kids whether you don't want kids you know it's up in the air whatever it
00:42:34
like yeah you can still be involved in people's lives in a meaningful and helpful way right
00:42:41
and I've had so many people throughout the years now who have come to me and
00:42:46
been you know or like or come to my parents and then they've pointed me them
00:42:50
to me of just like hey like this kid is struggling with X or they want to go into what and you know and and we can
00:42:56
just have conversation I met a home school family I live in Tennessee now I met a homeschool family here and we were
00:43:01
just like you know I was yucking it up with them about the fact that I was like it gets better right like you can make
00:43:07
friends and like you know all these things and like we were just joking about it but you know but also
00:43:12
encouraging them that it's like you know if you want to go to college like yeah
00:43:15
we can make that happen you know it's easy you know yeah that kind I know yeah
00:43:19
it's so true and so yeah so I say that to say even if you don't have kids you
00:43:24
can still impact the next generation of people 100% going to be bosses you're
00:43:27
going to work in work places and you get to you get to yeah make a difference yeah that's very cool okay
00:43:37
very cool no this has been a great conversation Michaela because I I wasn't I I wasn't sure where we were going to
00:43:44
go with this you know we kind of flying by the seat of our pants but um but I love it I love what this conversation
00:43:50
has gone and um no and I just want to say thank you for coming on because like and reaching out and you know saying
00:43:57
what's up oh yeah absolutely I think that's what I when he says email like
00:44:03
you can email him you can message him like do it that's what I did I just reached out dm' you and I was like yeah
00:44:08
it's so great like it's so fun to hear everybody and it's just fun to catch up
00:44:12
with people so do it yes yeah no and and reach out to each other too if you see somebody on here and you're like you're
00:44:20
like oh my gosh I haven't seen them in forever like shoot them a DM shoot film
00:44:24
a quick video and send it over on Instagram or text get reconnected these fol a lot of we're very different people
00:44:32
now you and I think reconnecting with our friends from the past and you know I'm I'm making better friends with
00:44:41
people that I never thought I would ever be friends with again um people I never
00:44:46
even like gave a second thought to after I was out you know I was like oh okay I
00:44:50
never you know I never have to see them again okay whatever um you know they're
00:44:54
coming back into my lives and I'm realizing that there's so many people out there that are just like amazing
00:44:58
people and so again like you said Mak yeah no go ahead I was going to say making friends as adults is hard but
00:45:05
like we have this entire group of people who shared our experiences so it's definitely worth like making friends
00:45:11
with them again yeah absolutely and uh yeah and like Michaela said uh if you want to re out me absolutely please do
00:45:18
that I'm on Instagram Tik Tok threads at exhs club or you can email me at exh just [email protected]
00:45:29
um yeah just shoot me a message say what's up you know and we can chat even if it's not on recording we we'll chat
00:45:35
we we'll hang out um M this has been great in is there anything we missed or
00:45:42
that has come to your mind of a cringey homeschool moment that you're like you
00:45:46
got to leave the people with that's so funny uh I don't know about a cringey
00:45:50
homeschool moment but I do have this vivid memory that I want to know if you remember also um so we had a friend his
00:45:57
name is Ryan Reynolds not the actor but just Ryan Reynolds well he was an actor but he was not Ryan Reynold yes not the
00:46:04
Ryan Reynolds um but I just remember that one year for his birthday he wanted to no we were throwing him a surprise
00:46:12
party his mom put this whole thing together and so there was probably like what 25 of us at his house waiting for
00:46:18
him do you remember this I think I think so I think I think I know where you're
00:46:21
going and I'm trying not to kill the punch line on this one but yeah I think
00:46:24
I know where you're going waiting at his house we got there early it's like 6:30
00:46:29
and everyone is so excited because Ryan was a jokester so like the fact that we could pull a fast one on him was like
00:46:36
yes we we're doing something great here yes so his brother who's supposed to
00:46:39
pick him up walks in the front door and is like hey and then his mom's like where's Ryan and Stephen's like I
00:46:46
thought you were gonna get him and she was like no that was your job and so everyone's like oh no the part is ruined
00:46:51
and then out pops Ryan from a closet the front room we're all hiding these like
00:46:57
surprise he's like I put this all together it's a surprise on you guys and
00:47:01
you had the best reaction you were like are you kidding me and you like walked out and you pretended to just lead the
00:47:06
party and I always thought that was so funny I do remember that oh my gosh yeah no I always refer that was the party
00:47:13
that Ryan came out of the closet um yes yes that was joke and yeah I would I tell people that you know what's even
00:47:20
funnier about that party was that when I got there I was wearing a coat cuz it was like which like I mean you live in
00:47:26
SoCal like you don't need to wear a coat but like what six days out of the year
00:47:30
um anyway I was wearing a coat I walked in I took my jacket off and I was like oh I'm just going to like put it in this
00:47:36
closet right here and then and then I don't know why I don't know if someone
00:47:39
distracted me or what but I like ended up not putting in the closet and I'm so
00:47:43
glad I didn't because that's where he was and I told him he's like I would
00:47:46
have just grabbed you and pulled you in the closet and you would just had to be in here with me I was like that would
00:47:51
have made it even one more step funny of like Jacob and Ryan came out of the closet together um would have been
00:47:58
hilarious wow that just added to the whole the whole night I didn't even know
00:48:02
that that's so funny yeah no but love Ryan Ryan if you're listening to this
00:48:07
reach out dude like come on the show let's let's chat because I know you're
00:48:09
doing big things now so um yeah Michaela this has been awesome thank you again for reaching out and coming on and
00:48:17
sharing your story and the door is always open if you ever want to come back you're more than welcome to and um
00:48:24
people reach out to Michaela say hi tell her what's up yeah you know and um absolutely yeah all right this has been
00:48:30
the ex homeschoolers Club I said it before I'll say it again reach out to me
00:48:35
leave a like leave a subscribe do all of the things you need to do on whatever platform you're listening on and uh you
00:48:41
know what I'm going to do one more call to action also if you enjoyed this episode or if you enjoyed any of the
00:48:45
episodes send it to a friend please do it share it around you know if not for me for yourself okay peace we'll see you
00:48:52
next week all right [Music] [Music]