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What is good my exhies? It is your boy Jacob Gooden and we are back for another week of the exhomeschoolers club. Today
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I'm joined by a brand new friend, my friend Julius. And uh we're going to
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touch on growing up in a big homeschool family. Okay, Julius is one of 12 kids and holy smokes, I can't even imagine
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the craziness that that household must have experienced. But we're also going
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to touch on Julius's experience of having a dad who was a pastor. We're going to talk about going through high
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school during the COVID years and just a bunch of other like homeschool shenanigan type stuff. But before we get
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into it, I have a favor to ask and that is if you haven't already, go subscribe
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base over there. I very much appreciate it. Now, let's get into our convo with
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Julius. Well, Julius, welcome to the Ex Homeschoolers Club. I'm so excited to be
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chatting with you today. Welcome. Welcome to the club. >> Yeah, thank you. I appreciate it. I've
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been watching your channel for a bit. Um, honestly, I think it just was recommended on my for you page and I'm
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actually kind of grateful because like I don't know, it's fun to find like a
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smaller channel that you relate with so like >> completely. It's just so funny. So, I'm
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glad that was recommended. I don't know if I would have found the channel otherwise.
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>> Hey, it means the algorithm is doing its job. It's putting it out there. Got it.
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>> Yeah. >> Did the work and it got it to the right person. Me. >> Yes.
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>> Sweet. Well, I like to kick everything off. I'm just going to kind of turn it
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over to you for a few minutes and like I would love for you to kind of walk us through your homeschool experience like
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you know siblings and how many years were you homeschooled and you know graduation and like just kind of give us
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like the overview and then maybe also a little bit of like what a day in the life looked like.
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>> So I had um there were 12 kids total. So I had 11 siblings. Um, there were nine
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girls in our family and three boys and I was the ninth kid down the lineup. So, I
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was very like towards the end of the of the family dynamic. Um, I was very much a middle child in like all of the ways.
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Um, so that was kind of like family situation. like we were we grew up in like the countryside in California and
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we um were very like to ourselves like we just did not have a lot of like homeschooling families or generally any
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like families with kids like there were like I would say three main families that we knew that had like kids but
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there was just not a lot of people around us so it's just I like grew up very isolated I would say um yeah so
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that was interesting and I would say um a typical day in the life. It went through phases because there were months
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of the year where we would be like really strict with it where we would be doing a like um like waking up at 7 and
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getting by to our desks by 7:30 after having eaten breakfast. And then there are also seasons of our my life where it
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would be like I would wake up at 10:00, roll out of bed, get in like less pajama
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clothes, and then roll back in bed and do school for six hours and then be done. And like it would just go through
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phases of like my parents like caring levels. And also as I got older, like I was more in control of my schedule and
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like my schooling and even grading stuff. Like by the time I was a senior, my parents were like so hands off. I
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like did my grades by myself. I calculated my GPA by myself. Like it was just um it was crazy. So at the end I
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was basically like teaching myself like fully just completely I taught myself algebra because neither of them were
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like um neither of them were like doctors. They both had like high school diplomas, but they didn't have like
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degrees in anything like school related. So, they really weren't like equipped
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for that. >> Um, so I was like I taught myself algebra and I hated it. I flunked. That
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was the only the only um subject that I was ever like that bad at. And I got a B. That was the only B that I got in my
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like schooling. So, I was like very good at school. And I still like I still like
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school. Like honestly, it's I still like learning. I still do studying on my free
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time. I'm that homeschooled kid who liked writing essays and reading books and doing the book reports. Like I was
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that homeschooled kid. Um and I'm actually fine with that. I was like so funny as a kid looking back like I was
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reading dictionaries. I was so weird. I loved that little girl for being a weirdo that she was. But yeah, it would
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just go through like phases of my parents caring a lot and then not caring as much. And we used a Becca like all
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throughout. Um there was only like one semester where we switched over to doing paces. Um and that was the worst
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semester of my schooling experience. Um I got nothing done even in the subjects that I'm good at, which is like English
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and like history. I got nothing done because I could just not wrap my head around pieces for some reason. I think
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it was because at that point I'd been using um Abecca for about I want to say
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like that was around like 8th grade. So I've been using it from kindergarten up
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to then and I was just like I couldn't I could not wrap my head around paces at
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all. Like I feel like it probably would have been fine if I hadn't been like
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raised on a Becca and used to that format. >> So I also did grade a lot of my work and
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kind of like was self-sufficient in a lot of ways. And you mentioned like even when you felt like in math with algebra
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you were like I'm doing so terribly and you're like I ended with a B. Like
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that's a passing grade. And I'm that way too where like I I was like if it's not
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an A like it's not good enough kind of a thing. And college was like my wakeup
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call for me where I was like oh >> like my professor isn't mad that I got a
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B. Like yeah there's more work I could put into it but like I'm not like I'm
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still going to get a degree >> kind of a thing. And I don't know, do you think that that's exclusively a
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homeschool thing or do you think that that's like a universal like kids in general are just like we have to get
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A's? >> I think it depends on the person honestly because my sister the first
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time that she got like a 70 on a on a spelling quiz, she like was sobbing. So I do think like in our family it was
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like promoted, right? um like to get good grades because we wanted to prove that we were like good at what we were
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doing. My parents had like a lot to prove in that respect. Um >> and I think it just depends on the
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person because I've talked to like um public schoolers who are like so intensely like I have to get A's or else
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it feels like my life is like crumbling. And then I've talked to home schoolers
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who like now I got a C and I don't give a [ __ ] Like I just I just don't I don't
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care like I pass, right? Um, so I think it just depends on the person and the parents definitely. Um, just different
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expectations. Um, yeah, it just depends on the person, but I I was definitely like as I got
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like in my teen years, I was definitely like a lot more chill. But I feel like after like failing, I say failing, but
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really wasn't like after just like struggling with algebra, I was like, you know what, I don't care anymore. And I
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ended up like doing really well the rest of the time. like I didn't give up, but
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it just wasn't as big of a concern. But when I was younger, definitely like a
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very big concern to like get A's and do really well. Um, so yeah, it just depends on like the environment, I would
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say, in the person. >> So my parents let us like we could retake things. So if we didn't get the
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grade we wanted, we could retake it and do it over. Did your parents do something similar? They would if we got
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below I think it was even if we got below a 75 they would have us take it again. Um sometimes we would retake it
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if we got below an 80 even because we wanted a better grade and we knew we could do better. Um but they would let
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us retake things as I got older. It was just like it got way more relaxed um because they were on the tail end of
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their kids. Like they were a lot more just like whatever about things. you know, how parents are with just like
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younger siblings, just a lot more leeway there. But then, um, yeah, we would be able to retake things and get the grades
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they wanted. Um, so yeah, just that would happen pretty often. Um, I can't think of any instance where like I got a
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low grade and I didn't have to retake it to be honest. So >> my my parents it was a lot more about
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like they they really believed in like the mastery of stuff and so for math for instance even if we didn't retake it my
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dad cuz my dad was more of the ma the math guy in the family and so he would sit down with us and walk us through and
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be like okay like I need you to understand how this operates right and so and he could tell right you struggle
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with like I didn't do super well in algebra geometry was more my thing I could see it right I could visualize it
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um but algebra was just like, I mean, you're dealing with the unknowns and the
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it >> Yeah. >> all of a sudden letters are in play. You're like, what the heck is going on?
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Um >> and um and he would always remind me. He's you know, there's levels of math
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where there's like literally no numbers involved at all. It's like all letters
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and it's just very hypothetical. And he's like, "So that you should be you
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can do this because there is like numbers involved." He's like, "Once we
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get into the hypothetical situations, that's where you're really going to
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struggle." And I'm like, "Okay, good to know." So it always made me feel better.
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But he took a lot of time to like sit down and be like, "Okay, it's about
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understanding the concept of it." And so that sometimes it wasn't always about
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retaking it as much as it was just like, "I need you to know what this is so we
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can move on." Because it's building blocks, you know? >> And I feel like with my parents, if they
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had the knowledge to like help me understand, they would have um cuz for some things they really did like care a
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lot. and um like they wanted I feel like they wanted that but they didn't have
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the knowhow to get me there on their own. Um which is one part where I feel like they kind of like dropped the ball
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a bit in terms of like where where they could have improved. Like I think they definitely could have
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done some like research or like tried to get their own degrees or just had someone else teach us because like I
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feel like all of my siblings are brilliant but I don't think it was because of their teaching you know it
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was definitely like self-taught or like we were doing our own research or we learned it after because like all of my
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siblings are really smart but it's just um I don't think it was because of their
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like knowledge of learning you know and how and teaching and stuff. Um, I really
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just think it was selftaught for the most part. Um, yeah. Yeah. >> So, what's the age difference between
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your oldest sibling and then the youngest? >> So, the youngest right now is 13. Um,
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and the oldest is like 35, I want to say. >> Okay. So, yeah, big >> big difference. My actually oldest
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brother has a kid who is the same age like four months off um that as my youngest brother. So like
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>> Okay. Yeah. >> That's the age difference we're working with. Like he was married and having
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kids but at the time that my mom was has having her last kid. >> Yeah. Uh, so with a a family dynamic
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like that, I know that cuz I'm a family of two two kids and so yeah, we would
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help each other with stuff and we have a three age a three-year age gap and so yeah, of course we would help each other
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with stuff, but I know in some of the bigger families sometimes the older kids end up teaching the younger kids and and
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you know that gets passed down. Was was your experience anything like that where
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you're like okay like older sister is now like running math for me? >> Yes. Uh so my sister who is two years
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older than me taught the youngest brother how to read. That's the kind of thing that was happening. She taught him
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how to read. Um like my like older siblings would help us do like uh with like classes. Um my older sister who I'm
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living with now like basically raised me more than my mom did. So yeah, there was
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definitely a lot of that. like um we called it the buddy system. >> Um I think I think the Duggars also did
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it. So I think it's just a big family thing where like an older sibling like
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takes care of the one of the younger ones. Um and yes, there was definitely a lot of that going on between like my
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sister teaching my brother how to read. Like my siblings would show me how to do
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like the more complex math problems that they had already done like algebra and stuff.
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>> So they would do that. They would show us like how to do um like diagramming
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and like grammar stuff like that like all the time. All the time it was happening. Yeah.
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>> Which can be both good. It's like a good bad thing in in my opinion where it's
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like it it is nice to have those people in your life that are like a little older and they can like sometimes
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sometimes hearing from someone who's only, you know, two to three years older
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than you is they can explain it in a way that makes more sense than like a parent
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can or a teacher can. Um, but then yeah, like you said, having parents who can are invested in like their own
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education to make sure like you're getting a solid education is is really helpful as well. And so you um
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was there like co-ops or anything that you were involved in or like other homeschool families in your life that
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you guys, you know, piggyback off of each other or was it very like we're our
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own thing and that's it? Honestly, yeah, we were on our own for like the whole
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time. We did charter schools so that we could get like the diplomas at the end of like um high school, but past that
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like we were very like just were doing our own thing. Like there were other homeschool families, but we were not
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like at all connected to them um in the sense that they were helping us like learn or we were learning with them.
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Like that was not happening at all. Um, and it just didn't happen. I don't know.
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I think my parents just wanted to be on their own for some reason. Although I would say that, but after I've moved out
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now, my parents are joining a co-op, like a homeschool co-op. And I was like >> so baffled by that. I was just so
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baffled. I was like, why now at the tail end of all your kids are you now joining
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a co-op? That's just so weird. Um, so I really don't get it. But no, not during
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my time that there were no co-ops. We just did charter schools. So we would like send in samples of like our work
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and we would get like the grades and like the backing like the institution backing
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>> um to reflect that and that was what we did all throughout my time. when we
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chatted before we I had brought up that like I grew up very much involved in like the co-op environment that was like
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I think we were signed up for a co-op before we had even like started homeschooling and so it was one of those
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things and part of that had to do with my mom had friends who were homeschool moms and so they she had people to go to
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when we were when she was getting started to kind of be like hey like what should we do here and like what what has
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been beneficial for your family and that kind of a thing but it also gave us an environment to like have community and
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community of like-minded people which like >> can be super important you know it's
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like you I don't know I I remember I look back on my first couple years of homeschooling very as being very
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isolating >> and that had to do with I went to public school for 2 years and so I was used to
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classroom setting 18 20 kids you know we were friends we play dates afterwards to
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go from that to like everyday school is like me my mom and my That's a very different experience for
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you. I mean, you were born and raised in it, so that's normal all the way through. Not to say it's not isolating,
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but it, you know, >> but there's a difference there when you're like have experienced it versus
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haven't, you know, and so >> I was just curious like, yeah, if the if the co-oping thing had been
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>> a portion of that, what what then was like socialization like for your family?
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>> So, I would honestly say socialization was just the church that we went to and
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nothing else. um up until I would say after COVID. Then it kind of branched out a bit. Um but it was still very
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church centered all the way up through my like teen years until I graduated. Um I think the most isolated though I was
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ever like I had ever been was during COVID because then I was literally just at home all of the time. I didn't even
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have church at that point. Um, and I was like, >> uh, 13, 12, 13 when COVID like happened.
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And it just like that was the most isolated I've ever been. And before that, like the only outlet I had was the
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church. And it just to have that cut off was just devastating. Yeah. >> Unmatched. It was so terrible. Um, but
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then after that, like things kind of shifted to be more like out like I got to be more outside of the house a bit
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more. Um, because I was like babysitting and I was like driving and like uh I just had different things to do. So that
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was a bit nicer and I was doing extracurriculars like um horseback riding and ballet and jiu-jitsu
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um for a bit. So I had like other outlets at that point. But yeah, during CO that was the most isolated I had ever
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been. Um, but it's not to say that during like my younger years, I was not isolated at all because I remember like
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because it was a Becca you would have like the classroom videos and I remember wishing I was in the classroom instead
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of sitting outside of it and like wishing I could talk to these kids and like just like wanting that so badly and
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like being like just so disconnected from it was like hard. I remember that being hard as a kid. Um to not
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understand like why I couldn't be in the classroom as with them was just like so
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strange, you know. >> You know what's so interesting? So you kind of alluded to the fact that yeah,
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you're you're pretty fresh out of the homeschool world and um not that long
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ago I had a friend who he's a little older than I am. I'm 29 and so he's in
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his 30s and he did I want to say it was a Becca but it was very but his was like
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tapes. So you put the tape in and watch the classroom. And he described feeling the same exact way about watching this
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classroom of kids do their, you know, experience the lecture and go through class and do all this stuff and you're
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at home just, you know, watching these people do it and doing your own worksheet but alone and wanting that
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like, man, I just want to be in the seats next to them and and that kind of a thing. And so I find that so
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interesting because like I to I totally get that. I totally get that feeling because like I was saying
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like my first couple years of homeschooling were I felt that way even though my video lessons were much more
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of like a lecture. I didn't see a classroom of kids. Like it was very just like some dude in front of a whiteboard,
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you know, circling stuff. But but I remember that feeling of just being like I just want to be around other people
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because that's such a crucial like developmental time for kids, right? It's like you you're
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learning how to interact with other people and you're learning how to like you know when to be nice and when to
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stand up for yourself and you know and what it's like to get bullied and what
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it's you know sometimes what it's like to be the bully and you know all these
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different things. You're learning all this stuff and so I think that's one of
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the weak spots of home that homeschooling can be is like you take that away from a kid and so you have to
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supplement it like you talked about in high school. Okay so after co now I have all these extracurriculars. Well, if you
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had had those as a young kid, maybe maybe Yeah, exactly. You know, maybe it would have been maybe you would have not
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felt quite as like alone in the in the classroom setting because you're like,
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well, I I still know that like I'm going to go do jiu-jitsu and you know, Betsy
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and Susie are also going to be there and you know, and my friend Steve and Kevin
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like they're also going to be there and we can all hang out. So, so as you like
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you talked about after co kind of getting into like extracurriculars, like what was that shift like for you?
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Because I'm not going to say it was the first time you socialized, but it definitely seems like it was a key point
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in like really being like I'm on I'm I'm growing up. >> The biggest like thing is all throughout
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my childhood, I really wanted to do ballet. And so when I finally got the chance to do ballet, it was like I loved
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it so much. I still love ballet. Um I don't do it anymore because I don't have
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like the funding to do it. Um but I would still love to do it honestly. And I remember just wishing I could do it
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because I had friends who did it and I just wanted it so bad. We were like so broke when I was a kid. We could not.
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But once we got the funding from the charter school, we were finally able to like join a class and like do recitals
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and it was really awesome. Like I loved it so much. I was like getting to know people. I was put getting exercise and
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putting passion into this thing that I'd wanted in for so long. It just truly was
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like so like I am so grateful for that like moment of being able to do that. And then my first ballet teacher, she
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was like the first non-Christian that I knew on like a very very personal level.
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And I like loved her so much. And I feel honestly a little bad looking back because I tried to like proitize her all
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the time just cuz I was I was like my mindset was if you're not a Christian,
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you can't be a good person. And she was like one of the first instances that I
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realized that was not the case and that I realized that there were good people outside of my world like who are just
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living their life and being happy and like enjoying their time on Earth. And I was like that was like groundbreaking.
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And I know it's not that crazy of a thing to realize, but it was pretty crazy to realize at age like 14, 13, it
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was it was pretty crazy to realize that and just be like, "Oh my gosh, you can
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be happy and fulfilled outside of the church and it's like perfectly fine." Um
00:23:01
so yeah that was pretty like big turning moment like key key um like thoughts and
00:23:08
were happening then and just lots of changes were happening during COVID and after COVID because of where I was at
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like developmentally and then also just where I was at in life. It just a lot of
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things changed um like precoid and then postcoid like a lot of things happened to where I just went through so much
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change so quickly. Well, if you don't mind like talk a little bit about that
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like what was what were some of these shifts that were you know obviously you talked about okay so first time meeting
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not necessarily meeting somebody who's not a Christian but having someone involved in your life heavenly heavily
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who's who's not a Christian you seeing them like oh this is a good person this
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is a kind of person this is like a normal human being >> you know and that being impactful but
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like what else was going on and shifting at that point >> before co about like I want to say nine
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months before co um we my dad took a pastor for a different church and we started living in two houses
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um and we were bouncing between them because we couldn't sell the one house um because it's like historically
00:24:16
important and then um the pastor or I mean the the like pastor house I don't
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know personage there's the wordage yes um we also had that house we were bouncing from house to house and I was
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doing school on the road a lot. Um I spent more time on the road than I did at a house really at that point in time.
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Um because we were just driving so much. Um and that was a big change like changing churches and changing social
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groups was a big change. And then at that time we also switched charter schools. Um, and that's how we got the
00:24:54
funding to do like ballet and such. Um, was this different charter school that was offering like state funding because
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as homeschooling has like gone on, it's gotten more and more funding, especially
00:25:06
in California, like you can get funding to do extracurriculars because of just people like advocating for for
00:25:14
homeschoolers. And I really do appreciated that. Um, so yeah. Um but at that time we switched charter schools,
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we switched churches and um like I was still with the same curriculum, but I was just it was just a crazy time. And
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then COVID hit and we were no longer going to church. So my dad had to like switch up his whole thing and we were
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now like only at the one house most of the time and we were um like just doing school basically all the time and we
00:25:48
didn't have like a lot of like we didn't have a lot of places to go because of
00:25:52
COVID. Um we were just really like stuck. Um >> and my dad was doing like pastoring like
00:25:58
online. He would he would devote a lot of time to that so he was like not around. I think that was his way of
00:26:03
dealing with COVID. Um, honestly, I don't even remember how my mom dealt with it. I just remember that it sucking
00:26:11
a lot. Um, just because like everyone was trying to distract themselves because we were all in the same house.
00:26:19
And at that time, I want to say we had seven kids in the house. Six kids. >> Yeah,
00:26:25
>> maybe. I think seven or six. It changed halfway through COVID because one of my
00:26:30
siblings left, I believe. Um, and that also was a big change. So, I actually had two
00:26:38
sisters leave like during CO and postco and that was a big change like becoming the oldest of the house was a crazy
00:26:47
change that also happened like in that span of time. Um, so yeah, I just it was like a crazy time I guess in those ages
00:26:56
of like 11 to 14 things are already like changing a lot for you like mentally and
00:27:03
just like physically and everything but then also having all of these external factors like um just happening at the
00:27:10
same time. It was it was a wild time to be alive. I would say also um internally
00:27:17
like that was the point where I was like um like questioning faith and like questioning my identity um and like
00:27:25
realizing I was bisexual and like all of the things were happening all at once. Um and like there's a lot of internal
00:27:33
things happening like just earthshattering few years. Well, I was going to say like I was in my early 20s
00:27:41
when COVID was happening and like that was it was hard enough for me being 23 24 when that was happening and like so I
00:27:51
can't even imagine being 14 15 cuz I've been doing >> recently I've been doing a lot of like
00:27:58
>> retrospective on early teenage years and like the growth and that you know all
00:28:03
that kind of stuff and so so recently kind of put myself in that same mindset of you thinking back to that time of
00:28:10
like okay like what is things are changing right my body is just naturally changing and then like you know you're
00:28:15
re your your sexual awakening is happening and like you're starting to develop thoughts for for yourself a lot
00:28:20
of times of like >> you're you're growing into adulthood uh in a manner of speaking and so it yeah
00:28:26
like that's that's a big shift and then you tack on like you said all these
00:28:29
other external factors of siblings leaving the house and COVID and mom and dad maybe not being available or they're
00:28:35
also struggling and having a deal and everybody's just trying to survive like
00:28:40
oh my gosh I can't imagine I'm sure it's like very one isolating but two just
00:28:45
like I would I would assume it just feels like you're going insane at that point
00:28:50
>> genuinely and I think that genuinely I dealt with it the best way possible but
00:28:55
at the time I felt like I was crazy like you said like I felt like I was crazy for like thinking these things and
00:29:02
feeling so like it was just it was it felt It felt insane. It felt insane to go through. Um, yeah. And I think it's
00:29:11
interesting to see how like CO affected different people, especially in like different life stages because it is such
00:29:18
like a big thing that happened to everybody. But it just like Yeah. It just is crazy how different people like
00:29:27
went through it because Yeah. >> It was different for each person. Yeah. >> Yeah. Well, and you talked about like
00:29:34
kind of deconstructing your religion during that time. Like I was doing something similar. And so like I think I
00:29:39
think that that it's interesting cuz the co was both a very busy time in a lot of
00:29:46
people's minds, but it also was like this very like it was very still at least for the first couple like months
00:29:52
almost because you're just like every nobody knows what's going on. The world
00:29:57
is shut down. like everyone's just gonna make sourdough and film Tik Toks and
00:30:01
that was like the thing. But it gave people a lot more time to to kind of quiet their mind and just like think
00:30:07
about stuff. >> And so for me, I was like running through religion and what do I believe
00:30:12
and do I actually think that this is real? And if I don't think it's real,
00:30:16
okay, what does that mean for me? And where do I position myself and all those types of things. So what like what were
00:30:23
you what what thoughts were going through your brain as you're like thinking about religion and and maybe
00:30:27
deconstructing or restructuring that in your brain? >> Yeah. So I feel like the biggest issue
00:30:33
in my early years of deconstructing was um me being bisexual and attracted to girls and like knowing that I did not
00:30:42
choose that. um like just realizing it on on a day like a random day and just being like oh what the what does that
00:30:51
mean now? Like am I a sinner just inherently? Because I didn't pick it and I was like struggling with that very
00:30:57
deeply. Um and I really just like my answer for it in the beginning was just to dive deeper and like be like God just
00:31:05
take it away. I will do anything. Just don't like just take it away please. I
00:31:10
don't want it. Um, and I w I did that for about I want to say like a year and
00:31:16
a half. I was really just like diving in like reading the Bible. I was praying. I
00:31:21
was like like literally begging God to just like have the feeling stop or just like have them just go away or like
00:31:31
saying I'll never act on them, but like please like I don't want to feel guilty
00:31:34
about this. Like just bartering the whole time. And then around age, I want to say like 14 and a half, I
00:31:45
started coming out of that event and being like, "Okay, well, if you're not
00:31:49
going to help me, then I'm going to do my own research and do my own thing."
00:31:52
Because I've always been like really into researching and analyzing things. And also, I've really been big on
00:31:59
accuracy in the Bible and outside of the Bible. I just love being accurate and efficient. It's just something about me.
00:32:06
I just love it. So, at that point, I was like, "Okay, I'm going to find out what
00:32:11
is accurate because if this if you aren't helping me, then I'm just not going to engage with this anymore." Um,
00:32:19
really. And so I started doing I started because I knew what people would say post me becoming a Christian if I
00:32:29
started by going to um like atheists and like the intellectual thinkers who weren't Christian. So I was very aware
00:32:39
of that during my deconstruction of how people would talk about my story after I
00:32:45
came out of the religion. So I was very aware of that. So what I started by doing was by reading the Bible and
00:32:52
reading basically all of my um like theology books that I had, all of the theology books that my parents had. And
00:33:00
I just like dove right in. And I was at that time I was taking like my own notes
00:33:05
on like how I saw like issues with their thinking, um like issues with what the Bible said, inconsistencies. I was I was
00:33:16
writing all of this down and like taking it all in and like just absorbing all of
00:33:22
this knowledge um because I wanted to have a control over my narrative that I heard about other people not heaven and
00:33:29
I wanted that to be the case where I was like no I did study the Bible and that was what I went to first. Um and these
00:33:37
are the inconsistencies that I found. Um, and part of that is like kind of sad that I was so aware of what other people
00:33:43
were thinking before it even happened. Um, but then also I'm al also kind of
00:33:48
grateful for it in a way. Um, because I was doing the best I could with the knowledge that I had. And um, yeah. So
00:33:59
after I did that for about I want to say like six to nine months uh probably probably maybe to a year um I started
00:34:08
looking up like these issues I was having and studying the issues and going through the issues and realizing that
00:34:15
other people before me long before me had had these similar issues and like like garnering that understanding of one
00:34:24
my parents are not infallible two the Bible is not infallible. Like it's just
00:34:30
it's not. Um and just like just like getting to a point where I was like, "Okay, so I know that these things
00:34:39
are not true. So now where do I go from here?" Um was the question. And um it was a little difficult because I kind
00:34:50
of just went straight into like, well, I just don't believe and I'm done. Like
00:34:54
and I just don't want anything to do with it. And I kind of sat in that for a
00:34:59
little bit. Um, but not honestly for too long because I still love like studying
00:35:04
and I still love like just reading the Bible honestly because it's such an interesting book once you like put it in
00:35:10
the perspective of like ancient people wrote this and it's cool to read things
00:35:14
that ancient people wrote, you know, it's just a fun thing to read. Um, so once I got to like the point of like
00:35:22
studying it again, I was like, "Okay, I still don't believe, but I'm
00:35:26
appreciating the Bible for what it is as like mythology book and like this history of people." And then I started
00:35:34
studying like other religions and similar like experiences to mine. Um like Mormonism and uh ext Jehovah
00:35:43
witness stories and um Catholicism and like just studying mostly those. Honestly, I don't I am kind of bad at
00:35:53
like reaching outside that scope because those are the ones that are so similar to my experience. Um, I'm trying to get
00:35:58
better at that and like study more, but those are really similar to mine. And on
00:36:03
obvious obviously I want to hear like everyone's story. So if someone were to
00:36:07
come up to me and be like, "Hey, I was an ex like Muslim." I'd be like, "Oh,
00:36:13
cool. So what was your story then?" Like I would love to hear. But it's kind of
00:36:17
um I don't really seek that out on my own just because I'm still learning a
00:36:22
lot about the ones I'm more into. And then also I feel like even though there
00:36:27
are similarities, I think the way that um some religions are, it would also be a little triggering um to learn about.
00:36:35
So it would just depend. Um but yeah, so at that point I was studying other religions and like just I still didn't
00:36:43
believe. I still don't. Um, but right now I would say where my faith is at, um, is I don't believe. Um, and
00:36:53
if God were to prove himself to me, I don't think that I would instantly go back to being Christian just because of
00:37:02
the things if the God of the Bible, I should say, was like to prove himself to me. I would have a lot more questions
00:37:08
than answers to that because I would want to still ask like, why is this the way that it is? and like what are you
00:37:15
doing? >> I I feel Yeah. I I kind of have there's two things that really stuck out to me
00:37:20
with what you were saying, but the the first thing I'm going to talk about is
00:37:23
the >> the like God revealing himself and like okay, like if he were to show himself,
00:37:30
what does that mean? I agree with you. I have tons of questions, right? Because if if the God of the Bible is accurate,
00:37:35
then like yeah, why is there >> pain and suffering and all of these things, right? and why is there hell and
00:37:41
like you know there's lots of questions around those things and there's obviously tons of theologians and great
00:37:46
thinkers who have answered those or come up with you know theories around why that would be but yeah I mean I
00:37:52
definitely >> I agree with you I think I would have a lot of questions >> in regards to that and I don't even know
00:37:59
that I would instantly go back either because you know >> I sit in a place of very like I call
00:38:04
myself agnostic where I'm like I don't know what I believe or I'm like I some
00:38:09
days I'm an atheist. Some days I'm like, "Yeah, maybe there is a God." Um, but I
00:38:13
don't know which one it is. But I agree with you also on the looking at the similarity between certain religions,
00:38:20
right? Like the Jehovah's Witnesses and the Mormons and even the Muslim faith.
00:38:24
It parallels the Bible a lot more than I grew up believing. And so looking at those stories, it's I think there's a
00:38:31
comfort in it because you you like you see the similarities between those as compared to something like Buddhism or
00:38:40
Hindu or you know anything like that where it's like it I don't know as much
00:38:44
about those and I haven't done as much research about that and and I will get
00:38:46
there someday but it yeah it's definitely uh it feels >> different in the sense of I think the
00:38:54
way that the the church and the teaching is structured is vastly different. And so that's why I think so many people
00:39:01
relate to like we said Mormonism, you know, and like and Christianity, evangelical Christianity and uh
00:39:08
Catholicism and even Muslim, right? Is is because Islam because it's like there's a very similar structure to
00:39:14
there's a church and there's a service and you do all these things and you read
00:39:17
these books and you follow these people and like that's that's the way it works.
00:39:21
>> And there are like social rules too, right? Yeah. there's a lot of social
00:39:24
rules around how you act and what you do and what you wear and those types of things.
00:39:28
>> The um the other piece that I that really hit me with what you were saying
00:39:33
was the the controlling of the narrative and >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. because I I thought a lot about
00:39:39
that as well where I was like, well, I know what I believe and it was shifting and it was like I don't I don't
00:39:47
believe in the Bible anymore and I don't believe in God anymore, but I can't just
00:39:51
like state that. Like I didn't feel safe and just stating that because I was like
00:39:55
I know that someone is going to come along and they're going to be like, "Well, you then you were never a
00:39:58
Christian, >> you know?" Okay, cool. Like that's you know, whatever. That's your thinking. I
00:40:03
know the reality of what I believed, you know, and and things like that. But I wanted, like you said, I wanted I think
00:40:10
I think it was less of a it was a worry of of what people were going to say about it, but it felt like people would
00:40:20
then write my story for me. And that was what I was realizing was that I had already
00:40:27
>> I felt like so much of my story had been written kind of by other people to some
00:40:31
degree. Um, and now I was like, this is the the next chapter which is by me. I'm
00:40:37
the author now. >> And that I think was the the thing that I worried about when I started to come
00:40:43
out about it because I was just like, >> no, I'm in control now. Like this is my
00:40:47
story and nobody else gets to tell it for me. And so I was like, I have to have the rebuttals and all these things
00:40:52
in place. As I've gotten older, I've been realized like I don't really give a
00:40:55
[ __ ] what anybody says. Like that's >> they're going to believe what they're
00:40:58
going to believe and that's fine. I know what I know about myself and that's what
00:41:02
I choose to show to the world. So anyway, but th those things really resonated with me on what you were
00:41:07
saying and I wanted to say thank you for for sharing because that's you know it's
00:41:11
not easy. >> I think it's so interesting to be so hyper aware of your experiences as
00:41:17
you're experiencing it. And I just I think that's such an interesting aspect
00:41:21
of what I was going through is I was hyper aware of reacting to my experiences as I was experiencing them.
00:41:29
And that's just an interesting position to have yourself in. And I'm glad I'm
00:41:32
not the only one who is like I want to be in charge of what people say. And then another thing is for me if like
00:41:39
they're going to try and like debate or argue um what come keep coming back to
00:41:45
is um like personal experiences are very important in testimonies for them. And if my personal experience is not good
00:41:56
enough for them and I have to have like a dissertation on what is going on in in
00:42:01
my brain for them to like believe me and understand and be empathetic then I don't really want to be having that
00:42:07
conversation with them anyway and we can talk about other things or and if they're not willing to talk about other
00:42:13
things then we don't really have to talk because if like personal experience is
00:42:18
good enough for them for fellow Christians then it stands to reason that my personal experience should be like
00:42:24
have the same respect every time. Um, and there are people who I know are who are like that who are still Christian
00:42:31
and like my personal experience doesn't negate theirs. Um, and they are I'm
00:42:35
still friends with him and like it's just it just depends on the person. So yeah, that's what I've kind of come down
00:42:42
to is like it has to be enough and I don't have to justify myself to you. >> No, that's a beautiful way of putting it
00:42:49
um Julius because I I definitely like This year, I've spent so much time thinking about this very vivid memory in
00:42:56
my head of going to a church function and people giving their testimonies. And this one man had this
00:43:04
wonderfully colorful testimony about being in Vietnam and and fighting the war and being a drug addict and and
00:43:11
sleeping with all these prostitutes and how God met him at a a moment of weakness and pulled him out of that and
00:43:17
he changed and he became a better person. And like that's a beautiful story, right? That you can go from being
00:43:23
kind of awful to being a better person. That's a beautiful story. >> But yeah, my I always felt my story was
00:43:30
not colorful enough to it felt inferior, right? And but to your point of like if
00:43:36
if stories and personal testimony is something that hinges a lot, you know, on on it's good enough for them,
00:43:43
>> then yeah, my personal story of being like, >> well, this wasn't great in my life.
00:43:48
That's >> that's that should be valid to those people as well. And I think I think to
00:43:54
be honest I think that's a big part of why this show exists is because I realized that I want people to feel
00:44:00
comfortable sharing their stories small big crazy not like down to the most minute what most people would think is
00:44:08
boring kind of situations like type of thing and not and hopefully just feel like I can just share my story because
00:44:15
the human story is I think one of the most interesting things because every one of us even though there's a ton of
00:44:21
similarities between your your upbringing and my upbringing. There's also a ton of differences and and
00:44:29
hopefully we can hear those and unpack those and come to common ground on some areas and I don't know it just I think
00:44:34
it makes us better people when and it makes life more interesting when there is that variety of of stories out there.
00:44:42
>> Definitely. And I think when you get into this um like place of sameness
00:44:47
where all the people think the same, you suffer for it. Your brain thrives under
00:44:53
new experiences and learning new things. And when you don't provide your brain
00:44:58
that, it just you stagnate and you aren't as vibrant of a person as you could be. And I truly believe that like
00:45:04
new experiences and learning new things. I think everyone should do it. I think everyone should do it like almost daily
00:45:11
if you can. Like just try something new. Like tonight I'm going to make pizza all
00:45:15
by myself because I've never done it before and why not, right? just do something new and learn something and
00:45:22
try to expand your knowledge. That's like something I've always been passionate about. It was one of the
00:45:26
things that my parents like always would congratulate me on and just like really
00:45:31
respected about me. Um, and right now I'm not talking to them, but I still think that like if you were to ask them,
00:45:38
they would say that like I do love to learn and just like that was one of the things that would they would constantly
00:45:43
burn up. And I think a lot of people should like kind of get that passion within them and just like tear like just
00:45:52
just tear tear up the world and learn new things, you know? Like I just I think more people should get dive into
00:45:58
that passion honestly. It's one of my favorite things to talk about and I love
00:46:02
hearing about people doing new things even if it's very mundane, you know. I
00:46:06
just love it. I love it. It's my favorite. >> Yeah. Well, I'm I'm curious then. So,
00:46:11
like your parents congratulate and and support like this study this like I want to learn new things, right?
00:46:19
>> Yeah. >> But was there exceptions or guard rails to that? And like let me give you a little bit of an
00:46:26
example. So, I grew up the town I grew up in in California was a little bit of a a witchy town. We had some occult
00:46:32
stuff in the area and I started Yeah. And I started working at the local library and you know the library is the
00:46:41
hub of all knowledge um in my opinion. And >> it is. Yes. >> And so I would reshelf books on the on
00:46:48
the shelves and there was all of these books about Wikah and all these things. And at first I was just very like just
00:46:53
put them back on the shelf and walk away. And then eventually I got to a point where not that I was checking them
00:46:58
out but I would just like you know flip through a couple pages and be like I'm
00:47:01
just intrigued by what does this mean? Right? And maybe it was I don't want to say it was
00:47:08
dangerous cuz I I now sit kind of in maybe a similar position of you. Like I think it's just learning about stuff is
00:47:13
very interesting and >> but I started to pick up on things that it was like oh this is less about like
00:47:20
summoning Satan and more about like using herbs to like cure a disease or something like that, right? Or set set
00:47:27
an intention. But all that being said, I know for a fact that my parents would have been like, "Do not touch those
00:47:33
books." You know, there would have been this guard rail of like, "If I brought
00:47:36
those home, this is not staying in the house more than five minutes." You know,
00:47:40
um kind of a thing. And so I'm >> potentially burning it, >> right? Potentially burning it, right?
00:47:45
Yeah. There's going to be a strongly worded letter to the library saying, "Why do you have these things?" Um kind
00:47:50
of a thing. But what like was there maybe that kind of a thing within your house of like yes like
00:47:57
knowledge and learning is like important but there's also we don't go there.
00:48:02
>> They would say that they encouraged the learning and like um but I would say
00:48:07
that they would encourage learning so long as you reach the same conclusion as the Bible or as they had. Um, and like
00:48:18
there was very big like amounts of confirmation bias happening or just straight up like mental gymnastics to
00:48:24
reach the conclusion that they wanted to reach or they wanted you to reach. Um, and when that didn't happen, then it
00:48:30
would be an issue. So, they would say that they encouraged it, but truly they just wanted to feel like they had
00:48:36
studied something so that they had like the high ground and so that they didn't
00:48:40
feel like they had reason to be attacked. Um, and then in regards for you bringing up like reading the books
00:48:46
about Wikah, that's so funny because when I like during COVID and when I was
00:48:53
like like 12, 13, and 14, I went through like a Wikah phase and like doing like practices for myself and like mostly
00:49:02
they were like calming practices and like stuff um and like charging crystals to like be calm and it gave me something
00:49:09
to do during co but it's so funny that you bring that up as like one of the things that you did that your parents
00:49:14
wouldn't have liked because I have I I absolutely know they would have hated to
00:49:19
think that their daughter was like, "Oh yeah, I'm I am a practicing witch right
00:49:23
now and I was like I was when I was 13." It's just like and I still kind of do
00:49:29
some of those habits just because they're nice habits to do. Um I wouldn't
00:49:33
say I'm practicing, but it is like funny to think that >> um just like with similarities, you
00:49:40
know, just so funny. Actually, it's just so funny that that the human experience
00:49:44
is so vast but also so small at the same time. >> Well, I I even thought it was
00:49:49
interesting. I went to um Boston not that long ago and you know if you take a train outside of Boston, you go to
00:49:54
Salem, Massachusetts, >> famously the witch trials and the witch burnings and all that stuff. And so
00:50:00
going to those museums and learning about what classified as as a witch and learning about that it's like you know
00:50:07
we you know why why do we view witches as like the green skin kind of a thing and like the super pointed nose and all
00:50:14
these types of things. Well, you're talking about women who would live out in the middle of nowhere, were just
00:50:19
exposed to the elements and they would cook for themselves and they had to they were medicine women a lot of times and
00:50:26
they would go and they would they would create tonics and they'd figure out, you
00:50:29
know, this route plus this thing makes this and that helps, you know, with a cough or that helps with whatever. And
00:50:35
so, it very much was this naturopath kind of thing. And so I I I laugh because I think there's a lot of people
00:50:45
still inside of like evangelical Christianity who are very like naturopath like you know they're like oh
00:50:50
let's just only use things from the earth and I'm like that's witchcraft.
00:50:54
Like that's like the basis for a lot of witchcraft. Um and so I just I joke with
00:50:59
my mom all the time because she loves her essential oils. I tell her I'm like
00:51:03
that's your witch's brew right there. You know >> and so >> my mom would be so mad at me if I said
00:51:08
that but you are absolutely right. >> Yeah. So, I just, you know, I just think
00:51:11
it's funny that we like look at these things and and sometimes we don't necessarily know the history of of where
00:51:18
these things come from or like, you know, we just have >> we have a concept in our mind of what
00:51:23
has been taught to us for for many years and programmed into us and of what this
00:51:28
is and what it looks like and throwing a pentagram on the ground and lighting black candles and, you know, summoning a
00:51:34
demon. Well, that's maybe not exactly what everybody's talking about. And so I
00:51:38
think to your point of like learning about things and also being okay with learning about things that make you
00:51:45
uncomfortable, >> oh my gosh, it will open up your mind to so many things that it's just like, oh,
00:51:50
okay, maybe this is just very different than than I experienced. It also leads to the ability for people to then have
00:51:57
conversation around it and for you to feel maybe more comfortable going to somebody who is of a differing opinion
00:52:02
than you and actually discuss it and ask questions and feel valid in doing that.
00:52:07
>> I love expanding my knowledge. I definitely think that that's a good
00:52:11
point. Um yeah. Um it's just it is funny cuz when you said that I was thinking
00:52:18
back to how my mom is very like naturopathic and she's like all into like grounding and like um essential
00:52:26
oils and she would rather you not go to the doctor. And then my dad who is like kind of the opposite where he's like
00:52:33
very he's like very chill with medicine. I would not say that he is like down
00:52:40
with medicine like he is not super like gung-ho for it but he is like when the vaccine came out for for COVID he was
00:52:49
willing to take it. Um he was going to do it and my mom was the one who was against it. Uh so that's kind of like
00:52:55
the dynamic there. So I kind of have like both like I kind of saw both sides of like the more chill with medicine
00:53:01
person and the not chill with medicine. um like as opposed to like taking ibuprofen for a headache. She would go
00:53:07
say, "Look, here have this essential oil. Rub it on your like wrist and it'll
00:53:11
make you feel better." And um I think that's just funny. Like I had those two
00:53:17
sides of that coin, you know, just funny. >> Again, it goes back to like learning
00:53:22
sometimes the history of like where do these things come from? And I think it's
00:53:25
important to understand where drugs come from and those kind of things. But yeah,
00:53:28
it is it's an interesting thing. Um, like I said, to see all these uh evangelical Christians be like super
00:53:34
into naturopath, but then it's like they're like super against witchcraft.
00:53:37
It's like, >> well, they're not witches. That's not what's kind of the same thing. Yeah.
00:53:41
>> Um, I wanted to ask you like to about your extracurriculars. you brought up
00:53:49
like horseback riding and ballet being a big one for you and um this is obviously
00:53:53
like a big pivot from what we've been talking about, but like >> tell me a little bit about like those
00:53:58
and like so was that with stuff like in the community and less so of like it wasn't obviously a co-op thing because
00:54:04
you guys weren't a part of home co-ops at that point, but like was there other
00:54:08
homeschool families involved in that or was it very like just hey it's a bunch
00:54:10
of other kids in the in the uh community? >> Right. So, it was um it was mostly just
00:54:19
other kids in the community. Um it was not a co-op thing. Um but how the charter school worked is it had specific
00:54:26
businesses called vendors that would support the payment through the state and they would like they were able to go
00:54:35
go through that process and they were like vouched for and all that. Um and those were the ones we would go through.
00:54:41
Um, and there it was still like very to ourselves comparatively, but it was like
00:54:48
doing activities. So, um, I only did jiu-jitsu for I want to say like six months maybe like maybe maybe nine
00:54:59
months. Um, a bit like it was right before co so it was very like not very long and then after that I didn't go
00:55:05
back. Um but then horseback riding I did for about two years I want to say and ballet I did
00:55:13
for about three and a half. Um so yeah before and after co um I did it yeah um and I really liked horseback riding. We
00:55:23
had horses we still have horses living on the property where I grew up and um I only rode those horses once because
00:55:32
they're super old. They're like over 25 years old, both of them. And one is a
00:55:36
mom and one is a son. So, you know, they're like real stinking old. Um, and so I didn't ride those very much, but I
00:55:44
was like I grew up around horses. I was like familiar. And then, um, so when I started riding, that was
00:55:51
really nice just to like get that experience. I really loved it. Um, I didn't do any like competitions or
00:55:58
anything. Um, I was not at that level, but I would have loved to, you know, like if I had gone to that level, I
00:56:05
would have done it. Um, my parents probably wouldn't have been pretty very chill with it because it probably would
00:56:11
have been like on Sundays and stuff and they were very big on not letting the extracurriculars
00:56:16
mess with church in any way. Um, so yeah, like church came first in all of in all of my childhood all the way
00:56:26
through up. Like if you had the choice between helping with the church event or doing school, it was the church event.
00:56:32
If you had the choice between doing an extracurricular um or your own thing versus a church
00:56:38
event, it was the church event every time. So yeah, the church was like more important than anything else and
00:56:46
sometimes even more important than me or other siblings. Like it was just my parents very much cared um about that.
00:56:53
Do you think that if your parents maybe had been able to separate like the school from the church thing maybe a
00:57:01
little bit more that it would have I guess it's kind of hard if your dad is the pastor that it's like it is it is
00:57:07
kind of all entwined in inside of itself but like I do wonder >> if there had been able to maybe be that
00:57:14
separation of like okay hey like school is important and this is the time you know we all lot for that and this is
00:57:21
good and then like here's church and this is important and this is good but there may be exceptions.
00:57:27
Do you think that that would have been beneficial or you think that it would have
00:57:30
>> Yeah, I don't think it could have happened in my family but I think it
00:57:34
would have been beneficial. Yeah. Um >> I think that oftent times like school
00:57:40
was pushed to the back burner for me and my other siblings and then we were expected to pick up the slack. So I
00:57:47
remember oftent times um from even when I was younger I would stay up late doing
00:57:52
school but not like that late but when I was in high school I would do all nighters during school because of things
00:57:57
that would happen and it was my job to regulate my schooling and I would sometimes like spend a whole day working
00:58:04
at a church event um and then just spend all night like doing school. Um, and that would happen often. Um, and my
00:58:13
parents knew about it and they would like support it. Like they were fine with it. Um, they didn't like love it,
00:58:18
but they would also know about it and not care, you know. Um, because I think they did know that like um, it was kind
00:58:25
of their fault that I was like having to do these all nighters and they did not want to like touch it. I guess my
00:58:30
followup to that is like so let's say someone comes to you and they're thinking about homeschooling their kids
00:58:36
and they're like okay Julius tell me about I mean you've already shared with
00:58:41
us a lot of your homeschool experience but like >> you know I'm thinking about doing this
00:58:45
what are some things that I should be thinking about or maybe that I could do differently that like
00:58:50
>> just >> you know what are you what are you going to say to them when they when they're
00:58:54
coming to you kind of just being like what what do I where do I look for this? Yeah, I would say if you are planning on
00:59:00
homeschooling your kids, make sure that you have developmentally appropriate support systems for your
00:59:06
child and then at the time that they are old enough to make a choice about their
00:59:11
life, um, let them make that choice because there are times I wish that I would have just been able to make the
00:59:17
choice to go to, um, like a real high school uh, during during my high school years. I think that could have been
00:59:24
really beneficial to me. And I think that that is also tied into the age appropriate like support system because
00:59:31
as your child gets older and becomes a teenager and like just becomes their own person, they need
00:59:38
um experiences outside of the house. It is very important for that to happen. And if you don't provide that for them
00:59:47
in a safe space, then they are going to find it themselves and it will not be a safe space and it will not be good for
00:59:55
you and um or for your kid. So I would say if they're old enough to make a choice, let them make the choice of
01:00:02
being homeschooled or not. And then if they do choose choose to be homeschooled, provide them with the
01:00:07
support systems that they need and the uh outside experiences because even though like during ages 1 to five, you
01:00:15
are your child's old world, you are not going to be that forever. You will be
01:00:20
very disappointed when they turn 18 and move out and you're not their whole worlds anymore. like you tried to
01:00:27
construct like this whole bubble where you were their whole world and like you curated everything and you will be very
01:00:35
disappointed and you will take it out on your kid or on yourself and it's just
01:00:39
not going to be beneficial to you in the long run. So just having that space between like I am not my the end all be
01:00:48
all for my child I guess is what I would say. >> Yeah. I I think that's like wonderfully
01:00:54
put and I I the things that I I glean off of that is just honestly like I I've had some people on before where
01:01:02
we've talked about the ability the ability for a homeschool parent to separate like mom and dad from the
01:01:09
teacher and and in your case then also from the pastor. So like a third a third chunk there because most parents
01:01:18
>> even the ones who unfortunately like >> are just terrible as homeschool parents.
01:01:24
They a lot of them it stems from a place of they want their child to have a great
01:01:28
education and they want their child to go very far in life. >> And I don't I don't think that
01:01:33
>> I'm not going to say that there's not any but I just think that most parents
01:01:36
do. And I think what you're saying about when your child gets to a certain age,
01:01:40
of course you're going to make decisions for them of what could be best, but
01:01:43
start to listen to what is like working and not working for them and make the adjustments necessary because
01:01:49
>> yeah, >> maybe it is public school or maybe it's a different curriculum or maybe it's a
01:01:53
hey, we got to get this kid involved in some extracurricular stuff. It it can be
01:01:57
really minor stuff that just >> yeah changes the whole trajectory of everything. And
01:02:04
>> I'm thankful because I don't know that my parents maybe 100% did that
01:02:07
correctly, but they did some things right where I I definitely they listened to when I was like, okay,
01:02:16
I really don't like this math. Like we did a Becca, too, right? And it was like
01:02:19
I was just like, I don't like this. And they were like, okay, then we're going
01:02:23
to find something different, you know? And and that worked, but it Yeah, it definitely was like a listening of like
01:02:30
and that was that was a lot of work for them, too. You know what I mean? Like it
01:02:33
I think that's why a lot of parents sometimes just shove the like it's the
01:02:36
same thing over and over because they're like well I've already made the
01:02:39
decision. This is what it is. It's just an easy copy paste over and over and
01:02:44
over and it's like but if it's not working it's not you know it's not going
01:02:48
to be great. >> And I do think in some respects my parents did that but then also in some
01:02:53
other ways they just copy and pasted a lot of things. Um, and it just, yeah, in in in the times that they listened, it
01:03:01
was really helpful, but when they didn't, it just it kind of harmed a lot of people. Um, so yeah, I would say they
01:03:08
did try in some areas, but then they also just didn't do it in some other areas that they weren't willing to bend
01:03:13
on at all. Um, yeah, so kind of just unfortunate in those respects, but I'm glad in some parts they did listen
01:03:20
because it did make my teen years easier to have those outlets. Um, so yeah, I'm
01:03:26
really grateful for that. >> Well, and I'm glad that you've come out
01:03:29
of it and like you're you know, you have you still have a love of learning and I think that that's like
01:03:36
crazy important. I think most most of the homeschoolers I know that that was one of the things we all came out with
01:03:42
is like this love for learning still. And I think that's that's going to get
01:03:46
you much further in life than basically any other skill, right? because this this longing to be like, okay, if I need
01:03:53
to know something, I'm going to go figure it out. And so, >> um, so in that regards, your parents did
01:03:59
well. Maybe all of the ways to get there were not great, >> but um, Julius, this has been amazing. I
01:04:06
thank you again for coming on and sharing your story. Is there anything else that we missed or
01:04:12
a favorite homechool memory that's popped in your brain while we've been
01:04:14
talking or anything? Is there any other little thing? So, a good homeschool memory. Let me think. I would say
01:04:22
growing up with my siblings has been was really great. I think that I am grateful
01:04:28
for the closeness that me and my siblings have um and in the house and outside of the house now that we're all
01:04:35
adults. I think that that was that is something that I really appreciate. even though they may not have done like the
01:04:42
best job with homeschooling, I do appreciate that all of us siblings like kind of banded together against that
01:04:48
sometimes and for that at times and it just I'm really grateful for that and
01:04:53
it's just a good memory to look back on like the Christmases with my siblings
01:04:58
and my schoolmates and my bullies all in one place. >> Yeah. >> No. Yeah. So, it's just great. I I
01:05:05
really appreciate like the closeness that me and my siblings have. Um, yeah, because there's a lot of us and it's
01:05:12
just good to feel really connected to them. >> Yeah. No, that's awesome. That's that's
01:05:17
the big family thing that I think like I'm going to say I missed out on of just
01:05:24
that like there's so many that you just like maybe it's the built-in best friend
01:05:28
or maybe it's the you know, whatever. But you have that closeness that's like
01:05:32
that. That's really cool. That's always been really cool in my opinion to see
01:05:35
with some of the larger families in my in my community of just like wow like >> they really get along or they really you
01:05:43
know I don't know. So anyway >> yeah well and if you don't get along
01:05:46
with one of them you have like many other options to get along with. >> That's the thing with only one sibling
01:05:51
when we get along we get along really really well. when we don't get along, we
01:05:55
don't get along at all, you know, and so, you know, yeah, it's very um >> yeah, it's very hot or cold uh a lot of
01:06:03
the times, but you know, >> I get you as relationship that big family for the world. It is I love them,
01:06:10
all of my siblings, and I want the best for them all and uh yeah, just I'm very
01:06:16
glad to have them. >> Yeah. Very cool. Well, once again, thank you so much for coming on and and
01:06:21
sharing your ex homeschooler story with with the community. I really appreciate it. And thank you.
01:06:26
>> Um, yeah, and to the audience, I hope you guys liked it as well. Uh, if you
01:06:30
did, you know, do the do the things, right? Click the thumbs up, give the fivestar rating. Julius deserves it.
01:06:37
And, uh, if you have any questions, feel free shoot me an email [email protected]
01:06:43
or shoot me a DM on, uh, Instagram, threads, Tik Tok. I think that's all the
01:06:48
places at exhs club and um yeah and uh I'm I do my best to try to get back to
01:06:55
each and every one of you. Um but yeah, this has been fun and until next time, we'll see you. All right, peace.
01:07:04
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