00:00:03
welcome back another week another ex-
00:00:05
homeschoolers club and uh you guys asked
00:00:09
for it so I'm delivering uh I've been
00:00:11
getting requests a lot for parents to
00:00:14
come on the show and talk about their
00:00:17
experience with homeschooling so I
00:00:18
figured what better way to kick it off
00:00:21
than with my parent uh my mom my mom is
00:00:24
joining us today uh I'm so stoked to
00:00:26
have her and we're going to touch on the
00:00:29
best thing about our homeschool
00:00:31
experience together the worst things she
00:00:32
can probably air a lot of my dirty
00:00:35
laundry uh to the audience so Mom thank
00:00:39
you for coming on the show hi thanks for
00:00:42
having me
00:00:43
Jacob we
00:00:45
are well we've known each other for a
00:00:47
very long time pretty much since I was
00:00:48
born your whole
00:00:50
life my whole life um and uh yeah so I
00:00:56
mean let's let's get right into it
00:00:58
because I know
00:01:00
homeschooling was not really in the
00:01:02
cards was not really the plan and so
00:01:05
what kind
00:01:06
of what kind of made that like that
00:01:10
shift for you and why did you end up
00:01:13
choosing to homeschool Madison and I
00:01:15
when it came to I don't know what was I
00:01:17
second grade and Madison was
00:01:18
Kindergarten something like that right
00:01:20
right um actually it had not been on my
00:01:23
radar at all um it was on Nanny's radar
00:01:27
from the moment you were born so my mom
00:01:30
had been pestering me from the time you
00:01:35
were just a baby um encouraging me to
00:01:39
consider homeschooling you but I was not
00:01:42
having any of it I just thought no
00:01:45
that's not for me that's for weirdos
00:01:48
that's just um and and I just didn't
00:01:52
entertain it and so when it was time for
00:01:55
preschool for you we sent you to um the
00:01:58
little preschool at our church and it
00:02:00
was really sweet and then it was time
00:02:02
for Kinder and we sent you to our
00:02:04
neighborhood School in Ventura and it
00:02:07
was a lovely experience like really we
00:02:09
just never had a a bad um Public School
00:02:14
experience it was wonderful and then we
00:02:17
decided um to purchase a home closer to
00:02:21
your dad's work so we moved to Oakview
00:02:24
and
00:02:25
in making that decision we had to start
00:02:28
looking at different schools because we
00:02:31
would be in a in a different area and
00:02:34
when I started looking at the schools I
00:02:37
had no peace at all and I couldn't see
00:02:39
you there one bit however um I had
00:02:46
already well before we bought our house
00:02:49
because it was at the end of the school
00:02:50
year I had already signed your sister up
00:02:53
for kindergarten at your Elementary
00:02:56
School I was so excited because I was
00:02:59
going to go have coffee with my
00:03:00
girlfriends and you guys were going to
00:03:02
go off to school and it was going to be
00:03:04
a really great life I was I had been
00:03:07
waiting for this I was primed and um and
00:03:11
then and then we moved to Oakview in
00:03:14
that summer I just realized I can't I
00:03:16
can't do it and really I looked into
00:03:20
like some private schools and nothing
00:03:22
everything was flat but before that I
00:03:27
had become friends with a couple gals
00:03:30
in Oxnard who homeschooled and from the
00:03:34
beginning they thought of knowing me
00:03:37
they kept saying you should consider
00:03:39
homeschooling your kids and I just was
00:03:43
not into it um so that was Susan Adams
00:03:46
and Susie ye both of them were just so
00:03:50
like really adamant so it's kind of
00:03:51
funny when you think about it because
00:03:53
I'm Susan and then there's Susan and
00:03:56
Susan so all three Susans were friends
00:04:00
and um two of them were encouraging this
00:04:03
gal too to do something different and so
00:04:06
that summer I really started considering
00:04:09
something different and it was such a
00:04:11
heavy conviction for me that I would
00:04:14
homeschool you go both of you that I
00:04:17
knew I just had to do it it was like a
00:04:20
deep knowing and I think sometimes women
00:04:23
have this kind of sense it's um just
00:04:28
just a deep knowing um some people call
00:04:30
it like conviction of the Holy Spirit
00:04:32
and some people call it intuition and
00:04:35
all these different things right I just
00:04:38
knew I had to do this thing so I asked
00:04:42
your dad or I told your dad that this
00:04:44
what I was thinking and he was just
00:04:47
pretty clear like fine I'll support you
00:04:49
whatever you want to do but I'm not
00:04:53
interested for myself I'm not going to
00:04:55
participate this is all on you so I went
00:04:59
into it kn that it was it was my gig um
00:05:03
and so I just called my friends and they
00:05:06
kind of pointed me in the direction of a
00:05:08
big convention that summer and um and I
00:05:12
just and I
00:05:14
went I went to
00:05:17
um this thing it was this a
00:05:21
Becca thing at a hotel and like local
00:05:26
and I because your dad and I had both
00:05:29
been in in private school um at
00:05:33
different points growing up and we had
00:05:36
both
00:05:37
had private Christian School and the
00:05:40
curriculum was ABCA so I went to this
00:05:43
ECA thing at a hotel in oxnar I think it
00:05:46
again it was Oxnard and I just bought
00:05:49
the kit for both of you which you know
00:05:52
okay I I they sell it for homeschool
00:05:54
people but it's really Geared for
00:05:56
classroom settings and and I didn't know
00:05:59
what I was doing so I just bought it all
00:06:02
I bought all of it yeah and um and then
00:06:06
tried to homeschool you guys with that
00:06:08
um it was a disaster but um I I was
00:06:12
gonna say I was like that first year was
00:06:14
really rough from what I remember I just
00:06:16
remember it was just like it didn't fit
00:06:19
it didn't work it was just like yeah I
00:06:21
don't know it you know not that we
00:06:23
didn't learn we didn't we learned stuff
00:06:26
but we were it wasn't fun it wasn't like
00:06:28
oh no I don't know it just wasn't yeah
00:06:31
it wasn't fun for any of us like it
00:06:34
really it really was not a great
00:06:37
experience but I just knew I needed to
00:06:40
do it and and that year I learned a lot
00:06:44
I that I learned what not to do um and
00:06:48
and we were also in the middle of
00:06:50
remodeling our whole house so we had
00:06:52
bought a fixer upper and so right we
00:06:55
were living ugly like it was just when
00:06:58
we moved in we didn't have a kitchen at
00:07:02
all it was studs and we didn't have
00:07:04
flooring in we didn't have any doors
00:07:07
interior doors in our house so no one
00:07:09
had privacy um yeah it was it was really
00:07:13
really rough and really dirty and and
00:07:16
stuff and I was trying to homeschool you
00:07:18
guys with all this ABCA curriculum not
00:07:20
that ABCA is bad but it it was just not
00:07:25
a good fit for what we were trying to do
00:07:28
here because because all I ended up
00:07:30
doing was trying to do a classroom
00:07:32
setting for school at home without a
00:07:36
group and of kids and yeah it just it
00:07:41
was so dry and just yeah what were
00:07:45
talking about you're talking about going
00:07:46
from like a life where it's like I would
00:07:49
go to school and I know Madison was
00:07:51
still at home with you but it's like I
00:07:52
would go to school and you would have
00:07:54
you know your time kind of more alone
00:07:57
and then I would come home and the dad
00:07:59
would come home and so it was like
00:08:00
normal like quote unquote like the
00:08:02
normal life right you know and yeah and
00:08:06
then we move and it's like not only is
00:08:08
it like all of a sudden I have the kids
00:08:11
all day long but yeah like you said it's
00:08:13
like our house was a disaster we didn't
00:08:15
have baseboards until I was like in high
00:08:17
school um in our in our house like um
00:08:22
and you know I mean it's taken what 20
00:08:24
years for you guys to basically finish
00:08:26
it um and be like at a point where
00:08:29
you're like okay it's it's pretty much
00:08:31
there now you know so but in time for
00:08:34
everything to start needing to be
00:08:35
replaced right right right yeah so
00:08:41
obviously icca didn't wasn't working and
00:08:44
did we do it for the full year that's
00:08:46
what I don't remember is like did we
00:08:48
just push through for the full year okay
00:08:50
I am
00:08:52
no which is really a downfall in some
00:08:55
ways because it was not working but I
00:08:58
didn't make you do everything I ended up
00:09:01
getting advice because that that first
00:09:04
year we also joined achieve and group
00:09:07
solution so that first year I had
00:09:09
support in those ways um you were signed
00:09:12
up only for fun little classes and
00:09:17
Madison was in Kinder there and so she
00:09:19
was having a good time two Fridays a
00:09:22
month she had a great school experience
00:09:24
the rest of the time yeah it was rough
00:09:28
but um but I was able to meet people who
00:09:31
were able to say oh yeah you you don't
00:09:34
need to do all that stuff and there's
00:09:38
better there's better curriculum out
00:09:40
there to help you at home and then I was
00:09:44
also figuring out that I I was hitting a
00:09:47
wall with your sister um with some some
00:09:51
of her educational things and I needed
00:09:54
to learn how to teach her in a different
00:09:57
way um yeah so so so that so there were
00:10:01
multiple things at play there um but but
00:10:05
we made it and we didn't kill each other
00:10:07
so that's we all still talk you know
00:10:10
like I I have a relationship with you I
00:10:12
have a relationship with your sister so
00:10:14
I'm
00:10:15
like we won yeah but um yeah it was it
00:10:19
was a rough start but thankfully we
00:10:22
immediately were in a community of of
00:10:26
people who were able to point me in a
00:10:29
direction that was
00:10:31
helpful yeah so I was going to say when
00:10:34
so when it came to that next year trying
00:10:37
to choose curriculum and knowing like
00:10:38
okay Becca's not
00:10:40
working was it then like just Mass
00:10:43
overwhelm or I mean you you said you had
00:10:45
people in your life who were kind of
00:10:46
pointing you in directions but I know as
00:10:49
we got further along it's like we found
00:10:51
like Matthew C really worked well for
00:10:52
our family so we kind of like went down
00:10:54
that path and really bought into that um
00:10:56
and then like I know with
00:10:59
um English we had like a particular
00:11:01
English that we did for a number of
00:11:02
years and things like that so was it was
00:11:04
a lot of that just coming from
00:11:06
recommendations from other people or
00:11:08
because I know we would go was it the
00:11:10
Chia convention that we would go to
00:11:11
every year and they had like their whole
00:11:13
convention floor and stuff yes I I would
00:11:17
go to the Chia convention that was very
00:11:19
helpful I read a couple of books that
00:11:22
were helpful and one of them was uh
00:11:26
about classical conversation by I I
00:11:29
think her name was Susan wise Bower and
00:11:32
it was a classical approach but she made
00:11:35
some recommendations that were very
00:11:37
helpful and and so that's where I got
00:11:40
some of my
00:11:42
Educational Tools like the grammar she's
00:11:45
like this is solid if you do this
00:11:48
they're and she was I believe a college
00:11:50
professor she
00:11:52
so if if you if you teach them this
00:11:56
they're
00:11:57
gonna know enough right and so um and
00:12:01
really at that point that was where I
00:12:04
was mostly concerned I I wanted you to
00:12:07
have the freedom to go to college if you
00:12:09
wanted but I had had an educational
00:12:12
background that was rather lacking in
00:12:15
some of my early years and so there had
00:12:18
been some gaps and but I had made up for
00:12:21
them in later years in junior high and
00:12:24
high school so I knew that if there were
00:12:27
some gaps along away we were going to be
00:12:30
fine just so long as we figured them out
00:12:33
before the end and I and you were able
00:12:35
to learn and and part of it is just
00:12:38
learning how to learn if you can learn
00:12:40
how to learn then you're you're going to
00:12:43
be set because even with gaps everyone's
00:12:46
got gaps everyone's gonna have gaps yeah
00:12:48
it's just it it doesn't
00:12:51
really matter we like we think that
00:12:54
there's this perfect thing and it looks
00:12:56
a certain way but but there's always
00:12:58
going to be something a little bit
00:13:00
lacking but if but if we have the school
00:13:03
the skills to actually learn to teach
00:13:07
ourselves to gain information to seek
00:13:10
help um then we have the tools we need
00:13:14
to move forward in life um irregardless
00:13:17
of some of the gaps in the background so
00:13:20
I yeah I kind of knew that but I was
00:13:22
still scared like I just I
00:13:25
didn't I hadn't been down this road
00:13:28
before so I was just really nervous
00:13:31
about how it was going to how it was all
00:13:34
going to pan out but but I did get help
00:13:37
and
00:13:39
I I really like to research things
00:13:43
I I'm I like to study myself search out
00:13:48
information I'm very curious as an
00:13:51
individual I was a trained investigator
00:13:54
this is my thing so um so I just went to
00:13:59
town on that and and then I would figure
00:14:02
out enough to make me a little bit
00:14:04
dangerous but a whole lot of helpful and
00:14:07
move us forward well I was going to say
00:14:09
I mean we did a lot
00:14:11
of we would go to the library a lot we
00:14:15
like we had the internet in our house
00:14:17
like I you know you you taught us how to
00:14:20
Google things I mean it wasn't like
00:14:22
necessarily unsupervised but like you
00:14:25
know you taught us how to do research
00:14:27
and and write a research paper and and
00:14:30
you know find information that was like
00:14:33
valuable and accredited and that type of
00:14:36
thing and
00:14:37
so because you were interested in
00:14:39
learning and I think I think it just
00:14:42
kind of like maybe not so much of like
00:14:44
you having to teach us how to be
00:14:46
interested in learning it just maybe
00:14:47
kind of rubbed off on us to a degree
00:14:49
also you let us like read kind of
00:14:53
anything we wanted and maybe not
00:14:55
anything we wanted but like we read a
00:14:57
lot of books we you know
00:14:59
anything we were interested in we got to
00:15:01
pursue knowledge in that area and so
00:15:04
like when I was into Pirates it's like
00:15:06
well what do we do we research like
00:15:07
every type of pirate Under the Sun and
00:15:09
like what does that look like you know
00:15:10
and it's like you know getting into
00:15:12
medieval history it's like oh this is
00:15:14
really interesting read everything we
00:15:16
possibly could read and go to you know
00:15:19
this and that and the other we'd go to
00:15:21
museums I mean I remember going to like
00:15:23
the Ronald Reagan Museum a ton as a kid
00:15:25
you know and and learning and read not
00:15:29
even just like going going but like
00:15:31
going and then reading like all the
00:15:33
plaques and like then having to like
00:15:35
answer questions afterwards and stuff
00:15:37
like that so I think you like instilled
00:15:41
much more of a desire to like know if
00:15:45
that makes sense does that sense
00:15:47
curiosity yeah yeah it's good to be
00:15:50
curious about things and then to have
00:15:53
tools to be able to to learn more about
00:15:57
whatever it is and so
00:15:59
we we wanted to Foster that in you well
00:16:02
at the same time that we were doing
00:16:05
these things we were also remodeling our
00:16:08
whole house
00:16:10
ourselves with a lot of help from Google
00:16:14
so we watched YouTube videos and your
00:16:18
dad had some skills from growing up with
00:16:20
his Dad in building houses but your
00:16:23
dad's an accountant you know he had a
00:16:26
desk job and so it wasn't as if he was
00:16:29
working in construction and had a whole
00:16:32
lot of
00:16:33
current skills and all of this stuff but
00:16:37
we had enough and we had enough
00:16:39
curiosity and enough just strong will
00:16:43
between the two of us to make it happen
00:16:46
and and so you got to see us
00:16:50
firsthand you know encounter a lot of
00:16:52
things we didn't know um how to do and
00:16:55
figure out how to do them yeah that's
00:16:59
that's very true so I wanted to Pivot
00:17:03
just a little b or I wanted to kind of
00:17:04
go back to something that you had said
00:17:06
early on which was you had made friends
00:17:09
with Mrs Adams and Mrs ye um and they
00:17:14
you know helped kind of like Foster and
00:17:17
encourage your like understanding of The
00:17:19
Homeschool community and then I'm
00:17:22
assuming it's kind of a result of them
00:17:23
that we ended up at group Solutions and
00:17:25
a part of achieve they were also part of
00:17:27
that yes but um what was
00:17:32
like aside from them kind of being like
00:17:34
you should join this what was like the
00:17:37
biggest selling point of those things
00:17:38
and for for people who don't understand
00:17:40
I mean I I've talked about a good amount
00:17:42
on this show but like achieve was the
00:17:44
association of Christian Home Educators
00:17:46
of Ventura County and it was basically
00:17:49
like you know field trips and um I mean
00:17:53
I know it was support for like The
00:17:54
Homeschool parents but also like dances
00:17:57
and graduation
00:17:59
and I'm sure there was a buch of other
00:18:01
stuff that I'm not even aware of and
00:18:02
then group Solutions was a lot more of
00:18:04
like a classroom setting twice a month
00:18:07
where yeah other parents could teach
00:18:09
whether it was fun classes or actual
00:18:11
like science and math classes that kind
00:18:14
of a thing but what was like what was
00:18:18
the selling point on that was it just I
00:18:19
know I need people and like I'm just
00:18:21
going to commit to this stuff or well I
00:18:24
didn't know what I was doing so I so you
00:18:27
just like I need help like I need help
00:18:30
so um and and they were both really
00:18:33
adamant that they okay especially Susan
00:18:37
Adams she's like I would not homeschool
00:18:39
without this this is and and it was very
00:18:42
affordable it was not
00:18:45
um it was not out outrageously expensive
00:18:49
so at that point it it was just kind of
00:18:52
a no-brainer that we would join those
00:18:56
and then they they helped me know when
00:18:59
to register our our school with the
00:19:02
state of California and do you know that
00:19:06
kind of more legal procedural stuff that
00:19:11
is necessary for running a school and so
00:19:15
um yeah I just I just listened to my
00:19:19
friends and did what they told me to do
00:19:21
and then and then you know so that they
00:19:25
just pointed me in the right direction
00:19:27
and then outside of that I made all my
00:19:29
own decisions so I chose my own stuff on
00:19:32
my own but they were really helpful
00:19:35
because if I had listened to them closer
00:19:38
I would not have boughten the whole ABCA
00:19:40
program for each of you that first year
00:19:42
because they already knew that that was
00:19:44
not the best idea but I just needed to
00:19:48
go the safe route for myself and yeah
00:19:51
and your dad and I both knew that that
00:19:55
was that would get it done right and it
00:19:59
did it got it done but not in a
00:20:01
really fun way not in a
00:20:05
holistic beautiful way that we really
00:20:07
wanted our homeschool to be yeah well
00:20:11
what would you say so when so when that
00:20:13
that one year two came around and we
00:20:16
were like transitioning to different
00:20:19
like uh curriculums like at what point
00:20:23
did you kind of go okay this is like
00:20:26
this is working like what was the thing
00:20:28
where you like and not necessarily
00:20:32
like okay do you get what I'm saying
00:20:34
like when did you go when did you go
00:20:37
like okay this is it instead of like
00:20:40
this is not happen it took a few years
00:20:43
and really what happened was I started
00:20:46
learning more and more about a classical
00:20:49
education approach and I learned more
00:20:51
about this
00:20:54
one company called sunlight and they
00:20:57
offered I don't even know I think they
00:21:00
may have changed their name or something
00:21:02
but I don't I don't know because I'm not
00:21:04
in the homeschool world anymore but
00:21:08
um um I learned about them they had
00:21:10
these wonderful book lists and you could
00:21:13
get their whole program and and they
00:21:16
could tell you kind of like a Becca but
00:21:18
in a different way um how to run your
00:21:21
whole home school well
00:21:22
I I didn't necessarily want to do that
00:21:26
because a few years in figured out
00:21:29
Matthew see was going to work because I
00:21:31
had kept you in a Becca math for a few
00:21:35
years and um and stuff and it was a dry
00:21:39
piece of toast it was not exciting but
00:21:42
it was getting it done you could do math
00:21:45
and um and stuff but then Madison was
00:21:48
really struggling because she's wired
00:21:50
completely different I couldn't have
00:21:52
more like two more different children in
00:21:56
my life that I was trying to educate at
00:21:58
the same time and it was it was a
00:22:01
challenge but I figured out um that that
00:22:05
this other math curriculum would really
00:22:07
help her and I thought just by
00:22:10
researching it that it would probably
00:22:11
help you too well what happened was it
00:22:14
helped not only you and Madison I got
00:22:17
the math education I had never had in my
00:22:19
life I loved it um and I feel so much uh
00:22:24
more Adept at math now um than I ever
00:22:28
had before and you know your dad's an
00:22:31
accountant but I was a literature major
00:22:34
in college I I could happily read books
00:22:37
all day long um but I I I seem to like
00:22:42
kind of come alive with math when I was
00:22:44
helping you guys with ABCA and then we
00:22:47
actually ended up having a friend come
00:22:49
in and do math with you for a while and
00:22:52
that was really fun and it was good for
00:22:55
you because um you got a challenge I
00:22:59
remember you you would um compete
00:23:02
against each other I didn't even have to
00:23:05
try to create the competition you guys
00:23:08
naturally would just be a little bit
00:23:10
competitive you wanted to learn more
00:23:12
faster you wanted to get the better
00:23:14
grade you want you know all that stuff
00:23:17
it was really kind of this fun thing to
00:23:19
see happen because it didn't normally
00:23:22
happen in our home school with um
00:23:24
because your every everyone's education
00:23:28
in this household was very
00:23:30
individualized yeah and well I was going
00:23:32
to say because yeah I mean shout out to
00:23:34
Caitlyn Gibbons for being my mouth buddy
00:23:36
for many many years and even to this day
00:23:39
um whenever we do see each other it's
00:23:41
always math comes up that's just what
00:23:43
happens um so but I think what's
00:23:48
interesting is that like yeah as time
00:23:50
went on also there was this shift in I
00:23:53
think so many people think of of
00:23:55
homeschool as this like well you're just
00:23:57
at home and your parent gives you the
00:23:59
textbook and they teach a class and they
00:24:01
whatever and some people it's that way
00:24:02
and some people um I've had multiple
00:24:04
people on too where it's like their
00:24:05
siblings are they're all spread out but
00:24:07
they're all doing kind of like the same
00:24:08
science together and all the same math
00:24:10
together and whatever so someone is
00:24:12
either like really Advanced or really
00:24:14
behind and but everyone's kind of at the
00:24:17
same level and I think what was
00:24:20
different was like you also we got to a
00:24:23
point where we leaned heavily on like
00:24:26
other people too so like yeah come to
00:24:28
our house and you would teach English
00:24:30
and you'd have a whole book list and we
00:24:32
would sit around and discuss and write
00:24:34
papers and whatever well then we would
00:24:36
all go like to the lamos house and we do
00:24:39
science at the lamos house or you know
00:24:41
everybody kind of had these like places
00:24:43
that they would go and these these
00:24:45
people that that would be that person
00:24:48
right that teacher figure but it was
00:24:50
kind of all the same group of people you
00:24:51
know was like the same six kids and we
00:24:54
would just kind of Bop around in
00:24:55
different people's houses so even though
00:24:56
we had like something like group
00:24:57
Solutions there also was just like a
00:24:59
micro version of that happening in the
00:25:01
ohigh valley right and when you were
00:25:04
still in elementary school we joined
00:25:06
forces with a couple of other families
00:25:09
and we did some science together at one
00:25:13
point we did our history together and
00:25:17
that was really fun just as a little
00:25:19
Co-op and we get together once a week
00:25:22
we' we'd be reading and studying at home
00:25:25
on our own and enjoying that but then
00:25:27
we' get together for like an enrichment
00:25:29
day and we would do crafts and maybe
00:25:32
have food and different things
00:25:34
surrounding whatever we were studying
00:25:37
and so um that's when we ended up make
00:25:40
building that big catapult to we were
00:25:42
trying to catapult yeah um we were we
00:25:46
the goal was to
00:25:48
catapult um produce like expired produce
00:25:53
from our vegetable garden um over the
00:25:56
cliff because we we on a bluff and stuff
00:26:00
but we couldn't get the the trajectory
00:26:03
quite right to make it happen um to
00:26:06
clear the fence and like all that kind
00:26:08
of stuff so we ended up moving it to the
00:26:10
front yard and using it to Pelt you guys
00:26:13
with water balloons in the front yard
00:26:16
and everyone had a good time and but it
00:26:20
it fit with what we were studying in
00:26:22
history not the water balloons but the
00:26:24
Catapult and this idea um in history but
00:26:29
then there was the mathematical
00:26:31
component of like how you get the arc
00:26:34
and the Angles and the all that stuff um
00:26:38
to work right just right and and stuff
00:26:42
so it made it fun and we I think you did
00:26:46
have a good time at those little Co-op
00:26:49
things that we had with small Gatherings
00:26:52
of like two or three families um where
00:26:56
we would where we would do that but for
00:26:59
me it was my lifeline because MH one of
00:27:03
the things that I didn't realize going
00:27:05
into homeschooling was um kind of how
00:27:10
really all consuming it was going to be
00:27:13
how like I made this tradeoff but
00:27:17
um I I I had a lot of responsibility not
00:27:23
just while I was teaching you but
00:27:25
thinking about processing and preparing
00:27:28
to teach you guys and um how it limited
00:27:32
my capacity in in other ways um to
00:27:35
cultivate friendships and stuff like
00:27:37
that and I needed that really badly um
00:27:41
I'm not a big group kind of gal but I do
00:27:43
need friendship I'm I'm you know this
00:27:47
but I have an identical twin sister so
00:27:49
from the very beginning I entered life
00:27:53
with a partner in crime so I I've been
00:27:56
used to having like close
00:27:59
personal connection with at least one
00:28:01
other person that's my peer and and
00:28:05
stuff and H schooling
00:28:08
um like really pointed out my need for
00:28:11
that more than ever before I just um
00:28:15
needed that and so these small co-ops
00:28:18
really helped and then our community of
00:28:21
friends up here in the ohigh valley
00:28:24
really made a huge difference and so
00:28:27
that's where where it got really good um
00:28:30
but it took a few years to get that yeah
00:28:34
really in the flow right yeah yeah
00:28:38
because I mean you were talking about I
00:28:39
mean when you bring up like Mrs Y and
00:28:42
Mrs Adams like they lived in Oxnard
00:28:43
which for context for people who are not
00:28:45
familiar with this area that's 30
00:28:47
minutes away 30 45 minutes away um it's
00:28:50
not that like we can just go there all
00:28:52
the time and be around those people all
00:28:55
the time and yeah and the whole the
00:28:58
ohigh group I mean that's 10 15 some
00:29:01
people five minutes away less than you
00:29:03
know some people you could walk to their
00:29:05
we could walk to their house if we
00:29:06
really wanted to um and so I think there
00:29:09
was just kind of once that group started
00:29:11
to form and that existed even before we
00:29:14
were a part of it but once we joined
00:29:17
that that's where I really see that like
00:29:20
thriving kickoff that's just I think
00:29:23
when I think back to the homeschool
00:29:25
stuff I kind of just exist more in that
00:29:28
like we were just good like we were
00:29:30
thriving we had friends we had like good
00:29:33
classes and small groups and all these
00:29:35
things and
00:29:37
so you know but I look back at those
00:29:39
first couple years and I just remember a
00:29:41
lot of loneliness so even though yeah we
00:29:43
were a part of groups and things like
00:29:44
that I remember feeling like well but my
00:29:47
friends are all 20 30 minutes away yeah
00:29:50
so it wasn't I don't know and coming off
00:29:52
of a a public school experience it's
00:29:55
like I saw my friends 5 days a week we
00:29:58
lived in an area where my like I had
00:30:00
friends in our little condo area I see
00:30:03
on
00:30:05
weekend yeah we moved and then it was
00:30:08
like I got nobody and then the people I
00:30:10
do have are 30 minutes away and I see
00:30:12
them every two weeks you know so it was
00:30:14
definitely that was a that was a rough
00:30:18
shift in our life yeah because because
00:30:21
we didn't have that the the closeness of
00:30:25
your peer friends and we we had
00:30:28
relocated so we were developing some new
00:30:32
like local friends even though we did
00:30:34
have some friends up here but um they
00:30:36
weren't like every day throughout the
00:30:39
day kind of friends they were you know
00:30:41
yeah they were in a different
00:30:44
um yeah we just saw them on the weekend
00:30:47
kind of thing and and stuff but then we
00:30:50
we were taking on this massive
00:30:52
undertaking with this house and and
00:30:55
stuff so there was so much change
00:30:58
and upheaval all at one time and um and
00:31:03
so I think it
00:31:05
was rather traumatic for all of us I I I
00:31:09
have a funny feeling your sister was the
00:31:11
one who like handled the beginning parts
00:31:15
of all this the best but I don't proba I
00:31:19
don't know because it was it was
00:31:21
challenging but but then it did it
00:31:23
within a few years we found our stride
00:31:26
we found our people and um and it's been
00:31:30
really beautiful and um like the
00:31:34
homeschooling was really beautiful but
00:31:36
since homeschooling like I had developed
00:31:38
friends during that time that are still
00:31:42
my best friends and so that's yeah
00:31:45
really beautiful yeah well that's that's
00:31:48
kind of a good segue because I wanted to
00:31:50
talk a little bit about kind of
00:31:52
transitioning out I mean it's been what
00:31:54
like eight years for you I know for me
00:31:56
I've been out of The Homeschool world
00:31:58
for 10 um Madison was another two or
00:32:01
three years after that so but yeah like
00:32:05
and and somebody that I interviewed um
00:32:09
had brought up that their mom really
00:32:10
struggled with turning off the teacher
00:32:13
right it was like their mom and their
00:32:15
teacher and at home they really
00:32:17
struggled to turn that off and I think
00:32:19
that's something I mean we kind of
00:32:20
touched on it already like it's
00:32:22
difficult when it's all I work from home
00:32:24
I understand like it's hard for me to
00:32:25
turn off work because I'm it's here it's
00:32:28
in my it's in the middle I'm in the
00:32:29
living room um but I can't even like for
00:32:32
homeschoolers it's like that's also got
00:32:34
to be tough on on moms because it's like
00:32:36
well when does The Learning end well the
00:32:38
learning ends when the learning ends
00:32:40
it's not like you know um but if your
00:32:44
whole identity is wrapped up in that so
00:32:46
then anyway to get to my point is is I
00:32:50
guess walk us through a little bit of
00:32:51
that transition of like okay now your
00:32:54
kids are out they're in college or a job
00:32:57
whatever
00:32:58
uh was it hard to transition out of
00:33:00
being a teacher into just like okay I'm
00:33:03
retired
00:33:05
like what was that I was I was super
00:33:07
excited for the shift and I knew and I
00:33:10
saw it coming so um the beautiful part
00:33:14
about it was
00:33:16
that I had
00:33:18
started to think
00:33:22
through how I was going to keep some
00:33:25
friendships and so I think you were in
00:33:28
high school maybe I I think it was while
00:33:31
you were still at home um I started this
00:33:35
little thing and then like I just I just
00:33:38
put something together one time and it
00:33:40
was we were celebrating someone's
00:33:42
birthday up here one of the moms and it
00:33:45
was just the moms and we went to lunch I
00:33:49
think or breakfast or something like
00:33:51
that at a restaurant and we left the
00:33:53
kids at home and it was just us and then
00:33:56
we started doing this thing up here
00:33:58
where we would meet for someone's
00:34:01
birthday and um and and that's all we
00:34:05
would gather around we weren't we
00:34:06
weren't trying to be like learning
00:34:10
something new for homeschooling or or
00:34:12
somehow fix our kids or like whatever
00:34:15
right it was just it was just a group of
00:34:18
women getting together but we all knew
00:34:20
each other from this one thing and so
00:34:23
then um so then one one time we were
00:34:26
together like I I started this but then
00:34:30
everyone just kind of would would take
00:34:32
the lead when it was someone's birthday
00:34:34
and someone would get us all moving in
00:34:37
the right direction and one of these
00:34:38
days we were together and Melinda asked
00:34:44
if any of us were interested in a book
00:34:46
club and a bunch of us raised our hands
00:34:49
and and that day but not all of us but
00:34:53
that day we formed a book club I was
00:34:56
still homeschooling Madison by by the
00:34:57
time this came around I think you were
00:34:59
gone I think you had already left for
00:35:02
college and um and we formed a book club
00:35:05
well after we formed the book club the
00:35:08
birthday lunch thing kind of went away
00:35:11
and it was just about the book club so
00:35:13
now it was even a smaller group um but
00:35:16
we were in the process of transitioning
00:35:19
out of homeschooling and so it was
00:35:22
really vital that we
00:35:25
cultivated a a group
00:35:28
that met and was intentional but not
00:35:32
around homeschooling and we were just
00:35:34
reading and we got to pick whatever
00:35:36
books we wanted we would just take turns
00:35:38
and and then um so it was just kind of a
00:35:42
really nice segue into something good um
00:35:47
there and then the other thing that was
00:35:49
helpful was we had been taking you guys
00:35:51
to the
00:35:52
beach or I had been taking you kids with
00:35:55
other homeschool families to to the
00:35:57
beach for years in the summer and on
00:36:01
Fridays it was always the same place
00:36:03
always the same you know it was just
00:36:05
what we did and um and stuff and once
00:36:08
you guys all grew up and went away to
00:36:12
school or got married or got jobs or did
00:36:15
whatever you guys have all done um we
00:36:18
still kept going to the beach well we're
00:36:22
down to there's four of us now that have
00:36:26
really stayed together and were close
00:36:30
friends and and by having these
00:36:33
different pockets of friends that
00:36:36
transitioned while I was transitioning
00:36:38
out of homeschooling we transitioned
00:36:41
together but had something besides
00:36:43
homeschooling to keep us together um so
00:36:48
that was that was one thing and then the
00:36:52
year I finished homeschooling the
00:36:54
following year Nanny was really sick so
00:36:57
my mom got really sick and I had to help
00:36:59
with that and so I was so grateful to
00:37:03
not have the responsibility of
00:37:05
homeschooling while I also
00:37:08
needed to help out a little bit more
00:37:12
with my parents but also um process what
00:37:17
was really happening because it was
00:37:19
really hard and sad and then she passed
00:37:22
away so my first year out of
00:37:24
homeschooling was was a really hard year
00:37:28
but and I was gone a lot um so when so
00:37:33
it took a little while when I came back
00:37:35
after that I was a little bit lost um
00:37:39
because but I still had my book club and
00:37:43
I still had my beach girls and um so the
00:37:47
mermaids were intact the beach the book
00:37:49
club was intact and um and I had a solid
00:37:54
group of friends from church and I just
00:37:56
dug in I just I I dug in and said okay
00:38:01
well I need to do something else so I
00:38:03
ended up um helping to lead a women's
00:38:07
Bible study so I was getting involved in
00:38:10
community outside of
00:38:13
homeschooling and then and then a little
00:38:15
bit after that um years ago a friend
00:38:19
Melinda had offered
00:38:22
um you know that she was going to be
00:38:25
taking this trying to get into the
00:38:27
Master Gardener program here in Ventura
00:38:29
County and and asked if I would be
00:38:32
interested because she knew I like to
00:38:33
garden and and I knew it wasn't my time
00:38:37
I was still homeschooling so I said oo
00:38:39
that's really interesting I'm yes but no
00:38:43
not right now and so so it's been a
00:38:46
little while and finally last year um I
00:38:50
I applied and was accepted and took the
00:38:53
course and did all my classroom time and
00:38:56
volunteer time and became a Master
00:38:59
Gardener and and now I volunteer in my
00:39:02
community in that capacity so it's been
00:39:04
like this steady
00:39:06
transition of of moving away from the
00:39:12
homeschooling stuff but but as soon as I
00:39:14
stopped
00:39:16
homeschooling my heart was pretty much
00:39:18
done I still volunteered a little bit
00:39:20
with the homeschooling stuff just
00:39:22
because there was a transition that
00:39:24
needed to happen um but but I got out of
00:39:28
that as really as quickly as I could
00:39:30
because I knew I needed to move my life
00:39:33
forward and find um purpose in doing
00:39:37
stuff that I was really interested in
00:39:40
and gifted with and so yeah so it was
00:39:43
just the being purposeful about choosing
00:39:48
a path forward I think was really
00:39:51
important and and seeing it before it
00:39:55
arrived like being forward thinking like
00:39:58
I knew you guys were going to be leaving
00:40:00
home and going to college and having
00:40:02
your own lives and and making a plan for
00:40:05
what my life was going to be about when
00:40:08
that happened and and stuff but I think
00:40:12
I've just been kind of a planner like
00:40:15
that um for a while because since you
00:40:20
were really little I was always telling
00:40:22
you okay so when you grow up and you're
00:40:25
18 and you decide you know if you want
00:40:28
to go to school like where you're going
00:40:29
to go to school and what you're where
00:40:31
you're going to live and all this stuff
00:40:33
I was always planting the seed for you
00:40:37
yeah that there was this time in the
00:40:38
future that you were going to go do this
00:40:40
thing you were going to move beyond our
00:40:43
home and and we talked about it like it
00:40:46
was the most normal thing in the world
00:40:48
so I Was preparing my heart for it but
00:40:50
also preparing you for the fact that you
00:40:53
grow up and and go you know know find
00:40:58
your path and do your thing and that
00:41:00
helped a lot yeah and that helped a lot
00:41:02
because it was just like I mean I
00:41:04
remember
00:41:07
that it wasn't weird to me to be like Oh
00:41:10
I'm going to go to college now or like
00:41:11
I'm moving out or I'm you know I'm an
00:41:14
adult basically because we had always
00:41:18
talked about it and I think for other
00:41:20
friends of mine I think it was really
00:41:22
weird for them because they were like
00:41:23
well what am I supposed to do now like
00:41:24
their understanding of what came after
00:41:27
homeschool high school was like what the
00:41:31
movies showed them which is kind of the
00:41:34
same thing but it was just like yeah I
00:41:37
don't know and I don't I don't blame
00:41:38
parents because I I know to some degree
00:41:40
a lot of them were just like it just we
00:41:42
have to get them through like it that
00:41:43
was kind of like end goal for them and
00:41:45
they were just like we have to get them
00:41:47
through but it's so interesting to me
00:41:49
when I talk to people now and I'm
00:41:51
interviewing so many people now it's
00:41:53
like you can tell the ones who their
00:41:56
parents kind of had this like okay yeah
00:41:59
we're gonna get here and then like mom's
00:42:01
job is kind of done because I mean
00:42:03
typically the moms were the ones
00:42:04
teaching but our job as like teachers
00:42:06
home school teachers is going to be kind
00:42:08
of done but then you're going to go off
00:42:09
and do this other thing and then there
00:42:11
were the people
00:42:12
who I don't know that their parents
00:42:15
really expressly said those things to
00:42:17
their kids and so they got there and
00:42:19
then everyone was just kind of like I
00:42:21
that's why so many homeschool kids got
00:42:22
stuck at Ventura College and there's
00:42:24
nothing wrong with going to Ventura
00:42:25
College but it was just
00:42:28
I mean some people were like I was there
00:42:30
for six years and I accomplished nothing
00:42:32
why is that because there was no they
00:42:35
didn't know what the next step was
00:42:36
because they just hadn't
00:42:38
really B the the seed of like the
00:42:41
transition period hadn't been set in
00:42:42
their minds so they were just like I
00:42:43
don't know what to do like you know it
00:42:46
could be anything the whole world is my
00:42:47
oyster right well I think sometimes we
00:42:51
have this false
00:42:53
notion that
00:42:58
when we set out on our trajectory as an
00:43:01
adult that it's it's One Direction One
00:43:06
Way it's a commitment forever right it's
00:43:11
it's what you have to find the perfect
00:43:14
you know interest that suits you for the
00:43:17
perfect career that you're going to be
00:43:19
at forever but the reality is is that's
00:43:23
very rare life is exciting and you're
00:43:26
going to take take like many twists and
00:43:28
turns and so you just got to go after
00:43:32
like what what are you really passionate
00:43:34
about interested in now or um maybe you
00:43:39
don't have a like interest or capacity
00:43:43
for something that's really going to
00:43:46
make you money that could pay the bills
00:43:48
but but it's something else but you
00:43:50
could go find a job that would pay the
00:43:53
bills so you could pursue the other
00:43:55
thing that you're really interested in
00:43:57
it so yeah you know and leaving space
00:44:01
for that and leaving space for a change
00:44:06
leaving space yeah to say okay my
00:44:08
interests are going to change my um my
00:44:13
ability um to earn money is lower now so
00:44:18
I don't need to be able to make you know
00:44:23
$300,000 a year at 22 I can I can you
00:44:27
know like just go um and and find
00:44:31
something that would pay enough as I
00:44:35
explore adulthood and figure out what
00:44:37
I'm going to figure out so um yeah so it
00:44:40
is kind of hard because we don't we
00:44:43
don't talk about these things a whole
00:44:46
lot in our culture and and maybe the the
00:44:48
conversations are going to pick up but
00:44:52
um yeah but I think a lot of times we
00:44:54
have that idea like well I better pick
00:44:56
the right major and get the right job
00:44:59
because I'm going to be doing this
00:45:00
forever and that's not really that's not
00:45:03
always the case and we need to take that
00:45:05
pressure off um off young people to to
00:45:09
have it all dialed in yeah yeah well let
00:45:13
me tell you something that I think I
00:45:16
mean you you taught me this and I think
00:45:19
I
00:45:21
mean I was raised we went to church I
00:45:24
was raised a Christian I was I was a
00:45:26
Christian I'm not a Christian anymore
00:45:27
but one of the things that I so vividly
00:45:31
remember about you know for me high
00:45:33
school was 2010 through 2014 and during
00:45:36
that time in the church there for
00:45:38
whatever reason was this massive
00:45:40
emphasis on the will of God and what is
00:45:42
the will of God in your
00:45:44
life and I think people took it the
00:45:47
wrong way
00:45:48
and and to backtrack a little bit you
00:45:52
would years before that you had um made
00:45:55
me read the the Westminster
00:45:58
catechism and one of the first like
00:46:01
sections of the Westminster catechism is
00:46:03
about the will of God and it's like the
00:46:06
will of God is to to honor and glorify
00:46:08
him forever and believe in him and so
00:46:10
you're with him forever right and so my
00:46:13
understanding of the will of God was
00:46:15
that it doesn't really matter what I do
00:46:18
as long as it was to honor and glorify
00:46:20
God I was doing the will of God and so
00:46:23
and then he would make it abundantly
00:46:25
clear if the job I was in or the person
00:46:28
I was with was the right person or the
00:46:31
right thing to be doing and so when it
00:46:33
came to in high school when we're all
00:46:35
trying to figure out what to
00:46:37
do yeah I was like nervous about like
00:46:39
well what am I going to pick for a
00:46:40
career what am I going to do this but I
00:46:44
had this
00:46:45
like understanding that it's like it
00:46:47
doesn't really matter because I was a
00:46:49
Christian at that time so it was like as
00:46:50
long as I'm doing something to glorify
00:46:52
God it doesn't really matter because it
00:46:55
will all work out in the end he'll make
00:46:57
it abundantly clear what I need to be do
00:46:59
and I think a lot of my friends got
00:47:00
stuck on this like well what is the will
00:47:03
of God what like what is his like Divine
00:47:06
thing that I have to do like am I
00:47:07
supposed to be like the next big New
00:47:10
York Times bestseller an author am I
00:47:12
supposed to be a doctor am I supposed to
00:47:13
be a rocket scientist am I supposed to
00:47:14
be all these things and so these people
00:47:15
got stuck because they were like I don't
00:47:17
want to I don't want to mess up and I
00:47:19
don't want to make God anger and it's
00:47:20
like well you're not do by by doing that
00:47:23
you're not doing anything so right it's
00:47:25
no wonder you're just kind of stuck in
00:47:27
this perpetual motion and I know not
00:47:28
everybody was a Christian but it it just
00:47:32
I don't know I think it gave me a little
00:47:33
bit more of an emphasis because when I
00:47:35
got to college and I realized really
00:47:36
quickly that the degree I went in for
00:47:37
was not the thing I wanted to do I had
00:47:40
no problem than just being like okay
00:47:41
well I'm going to do this other thing
00:47:42
that I'm really interested in right so
00:47:45
my Pivot was just easy and quick for
00:47:48
me because I wasn't afraid that I was
00:47:51
like going against the will of God at
00:47:53
that point like I don't know like right
00:47:56
I hope that makes sense to people
00:47:58
because it makes well it makes sense to
00:48:00
me because that's totally what I think
00:48:03
too like but I think your point it's
00:48:05
like there there is no set like you have
00:48:08
to do this forever and have to I mean
00:48:10
there what's the stat on this point I
00:48:12
mean I'm gonna make up a number off the
00:48:13
top of my head but it's like 70% or some
00:48:15
crazy number that it's like you go to
00:48:17
college you get a degree in something
00:48:19
and most likely you're not going to work
00:48:20
in that field you know most likely
00:48:22
you're not going to do anything related
00:48:23
to it right and that's okay but you know
00:48:28
you just got to be okay with rolling
00:48:30
with the punches sometimes and figuring
00:48:33
it out as you go along right and um
00:48:37
anyway anyway well that's that's my
00:48:39
Spiel yeah well you know what's
00:48:42
interesting to me because I spent I I've
00:48:45
spent the last I don't know 29 years um
00:48:52
unemployed right because I I ended my
00:48:56
career
00:48:57
to be home and to have a family and we
00:49:00
decided to practice before we had a
00:49:03
child um like the living on one income
00:49:06
like we could have practiced and still
00:49:08
had my income except we weren't really
00:49:10
disciplined enough to live without it
00:49:12
like we really liked to spend the money
00:49:15
so um so I haven't really been in the
00:49:21
workforce in a traditional sense because
00:49:24
I haven't been earning an income come or
00:49:27
having a
00:49:29
paycheck so the question would be well
00:49:33
did I just waste all that time and money
00:49:35
going to college to get a degree and and
00:49:41
I would say no I I didn't yes it helped
00:49:45
me get my first job out of college and
00:49:48
and it was very helpful at the time and
00:49:50
it it provided some things that that
00:49:53
were helpful but then after that the
00:49:56
skills I learned doing that have always
00:49:58
been helpful in different ways I
00:50:01
developed relationships friendships I
00:50:04
found a husband
00:50:07
well we didn't get together till later
00:50:10
but but I met him there yeah and um and
00:50:14
like there are so many wonderful things
00:50:17
that came of that experience and I don't
00:50:20
think that it was a waste in any way I
00:50:22
think it was purely beneficial and and
00:50:27
I'm glad that I had that experience and
00:50:29
then I did get to dip back in um when I
00:50:32
taught literature classes in the H
00:50:34
School Community because that's like
00:50:36
really what I loved to do but then once
00:50:39
your sister finished high school I
00:50:42
didn't want to teach High School classes
00:50:44
anymore or Junior High classes anymore
00:50:46
truly I almost took a job I almost for a
00:50:49
nanc took a job teaching at a private
00:50:53
school um Junior High which is what I
00:50:57
went to college to do right and and then
00:51:01
at the last minute I just said 'you know
00:51:03
what I really can't I had no peace and
00:51:05
then it turned out Nanny was sick and I
00:51:07
needed to help take care of her it would
00:51:09
have been a train wreck had I not
00:51:11
listened to that intuitive knowing right
00:51:15
of saying hold on something else is
00:51:18
going on here you just need to wait and
00:51:21
I'm glad that I listened to that but I
00:51:25
but in no way do I
00:51:27
regret those early choices in my teen
00:51:30
years and in my early adult
00:51:33
life um to move me forward to where I am
00:51:37
now we just we make these decisions and
00:51:40
they help put our path a certain way but
00:51:43
we don't stay on the straight path All
00:51:45
The Way We There are twists and turns
00:51:47
that a lot of times we we would have
00:51:50
never seen coming I would have never
00:51:52
imagined that I would go back um to
00:51:55
school and be become a Master Gardener I
00:51:58
wouldn't have thought that at all um
00:52:00
yeah but it's been really fun and I'm
00:52:03
glad that I've landed where I am right
00:52:07
now with that and and the choices that
00:52:10
I've made along the ways before now have
00:52:13
led me to this moment and I think we
00:52:15
need to talk a little bit more about
00:52:17
that kind of stuff to just say it's okay
00:52:20
in your late teens your early 20s your
00:52:23
30s whatever to be figured fing stuff
00:52:27
out and try something new it's just it
00:52:31
it's great we have a friend right now
00:52:34
who um just turned 60 and is making a
00:52:37
major life change career-wise and it is
00:52:41
so exciting to see it because when a lot
00:52:45
of people are just settling in being
00:52:50
comfortable with where they're at and
00:52:52
where they've been and this is the way
00:52:54
I'm always going to be you got people
00:52:57
out there really just saying you know
00:52:59
what I'm ready for the next ACT let's do
00:53:02
it you know yeah so that's really
00:53:05
exciting so you know
00:53:09
it yeah there's there's just it's it's a
00:53:12
mindset kind of thing and and the God's
00:53:15
will thing I think is we can get hung up
00:53:19
on that um very easily so I still I'm a
00:53:23
I'm a Believer I have faith in God and
00:53:27
and I'm all in there right but um but I
00:53:31
don't get hung up like we had to go buy
00:53:33
a car and I I didn't get hung up on you
00:53:37
know like is it God's will for me to get
00:53:40
the white Honda or the or the blue
00:53:42
Toyota you know
00:53:44
like no yeah I don't think God cares you
00:53:48
know God if you're out there I I just
00:53:50
he's got bigger problems to to work on
00:53:52
right now so so yeah I'm just I'm just
00:53:55
not in that space I I know that he cares
00:53:58
about me
00:53:59
personally intimately like I believe
00:54:02
that right but but the some of this
00:54:06
other stuff it's like he you
00:54:09
know I we have free will for a Cho for a
00:54:12
reason make a choice yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:54:15
I think I I love so much because I
00:54:19
think when I was in college and I would
00:54:21
call home it's like I mean you were
00:54:23
still
00:54:24
homeschooling and I know it was kind of
00:54:27
difficult there at the end you were just
00:54:28
you you were kind of done you were just
00:54:30
ready for it to be over I think um I
00:54:33
mean I've been a year you know 10 years
00:54:36
of your life it been a decade of your
00:54:37
life doing this thing and so it was like
00:54:41
okay that that's a long time you know
00:54:42
and sometimes it's ready for a change so
00:54:45
but yeah watching you kind of come out
00:54:46
of that and go through I mean yeah
00:54:49
Nanny's death was big and hard and
00:54:51
gnarly um but to kind of go through all
00:54:55
that and then find like okay I need to
00:54:58
do something I can't just like sit at
00:55:01
home all day and do nothing right
00:55:03
there's not there's not enough things to
00:55:05
do I need like a hobby or a purpose or
00:55:08
whatever and so uh yeah so anyway
00:55:11
watching you become a master Gardner has
00:55:12
been really cool um and it's something
00:55:16
you know I know also with Dad it's like
00:55:18
Dad has become like you know an obstacle
00:55:21
course racer
00:55:22
and shot about that on his episode um
00:55:26
and things like that so it's cool to see
00:55:28
my parents who spent so much
00:55:31
time just being our parents who now have
00:55:34
the time to like go do things that
00:55:36
they're interested in is is really it
00:55:38
makes me happy um and it makes me like
00:55:41
also want to pursue things that I'm
00:55:42
interested in because I have the time to
00:55:44
do that and when I do you know and so um
00:55:48
so yeah so I think that's awesome and uh
00:55:51
I'm trying to think here's a question
00:55:54
that I kind of
00:55:56
I'm I'm going to posee it you don't have
00:55:58
to have an immediate answer but you know
00:55:59
for someone who is considering
00:56:01
homeschooling their kid or just wants to
00:56:03
be involved in their kids education even
00:56:05
it's like what do you think is like a
00:56:07
really what's like one good piece of
00:56:10
advice that you would give them to be
00:56:12
like you know just trust me on
00:56:16
this you you
00:56:19
know I I wish that I
00:56:23
had taken more time
00:56:26
to weigh the
00:56:29
cost because with with anything there's
00:56:32
a cost whether it um you when you make a
00:56:36
decision to do one thing you're actually
00:56:39
also saying no to a bunch of other
00:56:40
things that you might be able to do with
00:56:43
your time or your
00:56:45
resources and with
00:56:47
homeschooling
00:56:48
um I made a choice to be Allin with you
00:56:53
and your
00:56:53
sister and and to be a huge you know
00:56:58
part of your educational process and in
00:57:01
doing that I had to say no to a number
00:57:04
of other
00:57:07
opportunities and I didn't always do
00:57:09
that well like I really thought I could
00:57:11
do it all and no one can do it all right
00:57:16
it like it's impossible to do everything
00:57:20
and to be everything to all people and
00:57:23
and stuff and so there is a cost that
00:57:26
that you pay with your time with your
00:57:29
resources because all of a sudden you're
00:57:31
you're paying for curriculum you're
00:57:33
paying for classes if you choose to have
00:57:35
someone else help you with certain
00:57:37
things um and you're pain with your lack
00:57:41
of availability to go pursue your own
00:57:44
career um and that
00:57:47
was kind of a a a big deal in a way but
00:57:52
I wasn't always mindful of it and and
00:57:55
stuff but anytime you make a decision to
00:57:58
do something if you when you decide to
00:58:00
send your kids to school like a
00:58:02
Traditional School say the local public
00:58:05
school down the street you're also
00:58:07
making a decision that you don't get all
00:58:10
those hours of the day with your child
00:58:13
you don't because they're going to be
00:58:15
away from you someone else is going to
00:58:17
be speaking into their life for those
00:58:20
hours that they're away um but then you
00:58:23
get back maybe some personal time or
00:58:25
some some time to have a job which means
00:58:28
more money and and stuff so there are
00:58:30
all these costs and you're always
00:58:32
weighing things like that and and so I
00:58:35
think really weigh it and and figure out
00:58:39
what you really truly value um and and
00:58:43
what's most important and then put all
00:58:46
put your effort more effort there on
00:58:49
your higher priority things and I'm glad
00:58:52
it ended up the way the way it did with
00:58:55
you and Madison
00:58:56
and your dad and I here in our home
00:58:58
school because it was
00:59:00
beautiful but I wish that my eyes had
00:59:03
been wide open to that truth and I
00:59:06
wasn't continually also trying to
00:59:10
pursue being um involved in so many
00:59:15
other things outside of it and if I
00:59:18
could because I did go all in with you
00:59:20
but at the same time in the back of my
00:59:22
mind I'm going well I can still you know
00:59:26
be really involved in church and I can
00:59:28
still you know travel to go visit Nanny
00:59:32
and Poppy whenever I want to and all
00:59:34
this stuff and it's like well you know
00:59:36
what I I really need to to be all in
00:59:39
especially the minute that we decided to
00:59:42
to remodel an entire house while also
00:59:46
homeschooling that that was a big thing
00:59:49
so um yeah so I think that that that
00:59:53
might be a thing to really
00:59:56
really stop and think about about it all
00:59:59
it's not homeschooling isn't something
01:00:01
you just add on to your already busy
01:00:04
schedule it's not going to work out well
01:00:07
and and you see that happening sometimes
01:00:10
where um where people are homeschooling
01:00:13
then they're not homeschooling then
01:00:14
they're homeschooling then they're not
01:00:15
homeschooling you like there's in and
01:00:17
out of of school and sometimes that's
01:00:20
for other reasons and sometimes it's
01:00:22
just because it's a little flighty right
01:00:25
it's a little like I haven't I I can't I
01:00:29
can't do all the things oh wait but I
01:00:31
liked it better when the kids were home
01:00:32
I'm going to pull them back home oh wait
01:00:34
I can't do everything you know it's just
01:00:37
it's a tough one so um yeah I don't know
01:00:41
was that where you were going no that's
01:00:44
that's totally I think that's a great
01:00:45
piece of advice is like yeah weigh weigh
01:00:47
the cost on what it is because I mean
01:00:49
you know my biggest thing right now is
01:00:51
just that like or one of my big things
01:00:53
that I push on the show a lot is that
01:00:55
for who are considering homeschooling
01:00:57
their
01:00:59
kid for me it's less about like oh
01:01:01
homeschool is the right way public
01:01:03
school is the right way private schools
01:01:04
the right way it's more about if you as
01:01:06
a parent are invested in your kid right
01:01:08
because I know plenty of kids who they
01:01:10
don't have relationships that were
01:01:12
homeschooled that had don't have
01:01:13
relationship with their parents because
01:01:15
even though their parents were there and
01:01:16
they home educated them they didn't
01:01:18
actually invest anything in their kid
01:01:20
and so it's just like the relationship
01:01:22
wasn't there to continue after the fact
01:01:25
and
01:01:26
so to me it's less I'm a relationship
01:01:29
guy that's just that's just who I am um
01:01:33
if you haven't picked it up on the show
01:01:34
my mom said it earlier she's like I did
01:01:36
better in the small groups of like six
01:01:38
kids coming to our house than I did at
01:01:39
like group Solutions where there's you
01:01:41
know 300 people running around um I just
01:01:45
have always liked the closer nit
01:01:46
relationship stuff so I think parents
01:01:48
who take that time to invest in their
01:01:51
kid whether it's being their their
01:01:54
homeschool teacher and and having them
01:01:56
at home whether it's just like I'm going
01:01:58
to pick them every day up every day
01:01:59
after school you know and then we're
01:02:01
going to go do something together and
01:02:02
I'm involved in their homework and I'm
01:02:03
involved in their sports activities or
01:02:05
whatever you know it's like I think
01:02:07
that's to me that's that's the more
01:02:10
that's the biggest piece of advice I
01:02:11
give anybody um and I'm not a parent but
01:02:14
it's just that was that I think is what
01:02:17
has shaped me better into the person I
01:02:19
am today and the fact that I still have
01:02:21
a relationship with you and Dad we've
01:02:23
grown as people we continue to grow as
01:02:25
people we have conversation around it
01:02:27
and we're able to do that because you
01:02:30
guys had my back as a kid and you guys
01:02:31
were invested time and energy into me
01:02:34
outside of just we're your teachers you
01:02:36
were my parents and my friends and so
01:02:40
anyway not to get too sappy
01:02:43
um so I think I would be remiss I think
01:02:46
I would get a lot of flack if I also
01:02:48
didn't ask this um are there any cringy
01:02:52
stories about me that you need to share
01:02:55
with the audience
01:02:56
um or was I you know very obviously like
01:02:59
the perfect child and did nothing wrong
01:03:01
um
01:03:04
so you
01:03:06
know I will I will say yes of course
01:03:09
there were cringy moments with
01:03:12
you as there are with every person that
01:03:15
travels this Earth and grows from a
01:03:18
child to an adult um that's going to
01:03:21
happen but I have to say you were a joy
01:03:24
you guaranteeing you and your sister
01:03:28
have been the biggest Joy oh of my
01:03:33
life I'm so
01:03:35
privileged that I got to do
01:03:38
this
01:03:40
and I can't
01:03:42
imagine a better way to have spent these
01:03:46
years than I had you guys here at home
01:03:50
it was just so it was awful and it was
01:03:54
wonderful all at the same
01:03:56
time um the I think the most cringy
01:04:00
things that happened was like puberty
01:04:03
was really rough because you lost the
01:04:05
Good Sense God gave
01:04:07
you and I just couldn't manage it and
01:04:11
and then
01:04:14
um I had my own issues like I I didn't
01:04:17
come into parenting um as an emotionally
01:04:21
healthy person and
01:04:23
so all my anger issues came out like
01:04:28
even worse so I me so while I was
01:04:32
homeschooling you but but even longer
01:04:34
while I was Raising you I was I was
01:04:37
learning to navigate my own who I was
01:04:41
and my own um emotions
01:04:44
and and and just grow to be a healthier
01:04:48
person and and stuff and so I would bump
01:04:51
into you so and and stuff and then you
01:04:56
guys both of you would do things that
01:05:00
that were just mirroring back to me who
01:05:03
I had been like my in my flaws right and
01:05:07
I would get to see it and be horrified
01:05:10
by it but I think that's just that's
01:05:13
parenting um in general uh and and stuff
01:05:19
so I'm trying to think so the Red Jeans
01:05:23
like that that your Red Jeans have come
01:05:26
up quite a few times in in your podcast
01:05:30
and and stuff that was a look for sure
01:05:32
but it was it was in style at the time
01:05:36
and so that was kind of a a funny thing
01:05:38
it wasn't as if it was a really bad
01:05:41
choice at the time um I think the
01:05:45
funniest Family story surrounding those
01:05:48
red skinny jeans was the time your Dad
01:05:51
tried them on because on you yeah on you
01:05:56
they weren't they while they were called
01:05:59
skinny jeans they they weren't painted
01:06:02
on but when your dad put them on they
01:06:05
were definitely painted on and then we
01:06:08
just start started calling him thunder
01:06:10
thighs and and do you remember they were
01:06:13
super short like he yes he's he's
01:06:17
considerably taller than you are
01:06:20
and like maybe I don't know he's he's
01:06:23
got four inches I think on me four or
01:06:25
five amazing so um yeah and and he's
01:06:28
real trim so he could fit your your
01:06:31
waist size um in high school but oh th
01:06:35
but those pants were pretty funny they
01:06:37
were they they brought some Joy to the
01:06:41
house for
01:06:45
sure yes yeah no those
01:06:50
were I don't know I'm not going to say
01:06:52
it's a bad it was a mistake it was just
01:06:55
look back I'm like I'm thankful I don't
01:06:57
own those anymore but you know um
01:07:00
they're memorable there's good photos on
01:07:02
the internet of me rocking those um you
01:07:05
know and it's something that everyone
01:07:07
brings up the okay here's another thing
01:07:09
that just popped into my brain I was
01:07:11
going to ask you about this because I
01:07:12
always tell people that the only reason
01:07:14
that I became a swing dancer was because
01:07:16
you stuck me in swing dance class oh
01:07:18
yeah I don't
01:07:21
remember really being okay with that at
01:07:23
first I feel like you just kind of like
01:07:26
okay you kind of just put me in there
01:07:29
okay so here's the thing
01:07:31
[Music]
01:07:32
um your
01:07:35
PE kind
01:07:37
of thing was really lacking your dad is
01:07:41
athletic but remember your dad said I'm
01:07:44
not doing this thing I'm not going to be
01:07:46
part of it you're you're You've Got The
01:07:48
Homeschool thing but I was
01:07:51
not athletic I wasn't interested in
01:07:54
going outside particularly now I love
01:07:57
going outside I want you know I go for
01:07:59
my morning walks and you know like just
01:08:02
all that kind of stuff but but back then
01:08:04
not so much and so I knew I wanted you
01:08:08
to
01:08:10
have like more physical activity but
01:08:15
also there was this great social thing
01:08:17
that was going on in our Circle and I
01:08:20
wanted that for you I wanted you to have
01:08:24
friends and and to to be able to go do
01:08:27
something fun and it looked like fun to
01:08:30
me didn't look like fun at all to you
01:08:33
and you were in the height of your
01:08:35
awkwardness and and stuff and so we put
01:08:38
you in some dance classes and
01:08:42
then we would take you to dances and how
01:08:45
we ended up doing this because you would
01:08:47
have gladly gone and not danced at all
01:08:50
was the first few dances um we went we
01:08:54
paid for you to get in
01:08:56
but then we say so the first time you
01:08:58
went you had to dance one
01:09:02
dance or else you had to pay us back for
01:09:04
the fee to get
01:09:06
in that was the deal yes you didn't want
01:09:09
to go at all you didn't want to learn
01:09:11
how to dance like none of that stuff so
01:09:13
so you went you danced the one dance and
01:09:15
that was it and then the second time it
01:09:18
was like okay so today we're paying for
01:09:21
you to go to this dance and you need to
01:09:24
dance two times
01:09:26
or else you're gonna pay us back for the
01:09:29
fee to go dance and so you liked your
01:09:32
money and you didn't want to have to do
01:09:34
it so you that was enough to motivate
01:09:37
you um to at least put in the bare
01:09:40
minimum and you did that and before we
01:09:42
knew it you were dancing all night long
01:09:45
and having a great time and and it just
01:09:48
kind of snowballed from there but it but
01:09:50
it was hard and painful but that's
01:09:52
anytime you do anything new stuff is
01:09:57
just painful it requires more of us um
01:10:01
to to put ourselves out there and stuff
01:10:04
and I'm so glad that that you had the
01:10:08
experience that you did and at some
01:10:10
point we would have let you just not go
01:10:13
if you were super miserable but we knew
01:10:16
you needed to give it a little bit of a
01:10:19
try and and stuff and it worked out yeah
01:10:23
yes it did became
01:10:25
pretty much what I'm known for in the
01:10:26
hes School
01:10:28
group and yeah it's still something that
01:10:31
I love to this day and I look back very
01:10:32
fondly on that time so um yeah so thank
01:10:35
you for pushing me to do that because
01:10:37
yeah I do remember that first dance I
01:10:38
went to was in the pettit's backyard and
01:10:41
I only danced with Morgan Bozarth um and
01:10:44
she basically had to drag me out on the
01:10:45
dance floor um but yeah yeah yeah but
01:10:51
here we are yeah do hard things so okay
01:10:55
yeah
01:10:56
I don't know that I really have any
01:10:57
other questions for you is there
01:10:59
anything I missed is there anything
01:11:01
hav't touched on I think we could prob
01:11:03
sit here and just talk for two weeks
01:11:06
about different things but I think we
01:11:08
can let it go we can let it go with that
01:11:11
we can always do a part two um yeah
01:11:14
people if you've got questions yeah I
01:11:16
well I will tell you this like if I
01:11:18
could go
01:11:19
back and do it and and and not do it
01:11:24
would I you know would I do it different
01:11:27
well of course I would do things
01:11:29
different but I will tell you I would
01:11:30
homeschool you and your sister all over
01:11:33
again I would I would do it again and
01:11:36
I'm so grateful that we had the
01:11:38
opportunity to do it because I think
01:11:41
that our relationship
01:11:44
now a big part of it has been built on
01:11:48
we did this big thing together and it
01:11:51
built our
01:11:52
relationship and we built trust with one
01:11:55
one another and and it it's been really
01:11:59
good and and now you're living your own
01:12:02
life and you're making your own
01:12:04
decisions and
01:12:06
and and it's and it's good to see that
01:12:10
and and even though some of your
01:12:11
decisions might not be the same ones
01:12:14
that I would make right it's okay like I
01:12:18
I love you I trust you and we've built
01:12:21
that and and we can still stay in in
01:12:25
relationship with one another even
01:12:27
though we don't see the
01:12:29
world like we're not carbon copies of
01:12:32
each other we're very distinct and
01:12:34
individual but um anyhow but I would
01:12:38
totally 100% do it again would I make
01:12:42
changes oh you betcha I would change a
01:12:45
lot of stuff that I did but um but I
01:12:48
think that's all of life right we all
01:12:50
can look back on on life and say oh I
01:12:53
would have done that different and I
01:12:54
would have done that different but um
01:12:56
but this is one thing where I can say J
01:12:59
I would I would have done I would do it
01:13:01
again and um yeah because I love you and
01:13:05
I'm so glad we had that adventure
01:13:08
together yeah it's it was fun you know
01:13:11
and it was I don't know like I know it
01:13:13
was stressful and there are things that
01:13:15
yeah I would do differently and we would
01:13:17
never do a Becca maath um because that
01:13:20
was a waste of time oh my gosh
01:13:23
but but there's so many good things came
01:13:26
out of it and good relationships and
01:13:28
that's kind of been the whole point of
01:13:30
this show too is just kind of to
01:13:32
rekindle some of those and Define those
01:13:34
people because I mean said it a lot on
01:13:37
the show been a decade for me that I've
01:13:40
been kind of outside of it popped in
01:13:41
every now and then I see a few people
01:13:43
every now and then but for the most part
01:13:45
it's like everyone's gone we've all gone
01:13:47
our separate ways and
01:13:50
so but I think it's fun to catch up with
01:13:52
people and hear about what they're doing
01:13:54
today and and what's going on you know
01:13:57
and yeah and one of the biggest
01:13:59
questions I kept getting was well what
01:14:01
are the moms and dads doing like did
01:14:04
they also move on with their lives and
01:14:06
um so we're finding that out so well
01:14:08
there's a group of us oh high moms that
01:14:11
are in a book club together and there's
01:14:13
a group of us um that are mermaids
01:14:17
together Friday mermaids go to the beach
01:14:20
every Friday yeah and we just we just
01:14:23
love each other and we've just
01:14:25
veloped friendship and um and so that
01:14:29
has spawned something really really
01:14:32
beautiful for all of us and yeah yeah
01:14:35
yeah and the thing the nice thing too is
01:14:37
you guys aren't limited to just being
01:14:40
homeschool moms anymore like maybe it
01:14:42
birthed out of that but it's like you're
01:14:44
not you're not limited to that none of
01:14:47
us are homeschooling anymore we're all
01:14:49
retired exactly it's wonderful
01:14:52
exactly yeah yeah
01:14:55
well for the audience if you've got
01:14:57
questions if I didn't ask my mom the
01:14:59
right things you let me know shoot me an
01:15:01
email at exhs [email protected] or shoot me
01:15:05
a DM on Instagram at ex exhs club uh
01:15:10
yeah on Instagram and uh yeah let me
01:15:13
know because we can always get her back
01:15:14
for part two or if there's a parent that
01:15:17
you want to hear from and you want to
01:15:18
know uh the deep dirty dark secrets of
01:15:21
one of your homeschool friends um I will
01:15:24
do my best to get to the bottom of it uh
01:15:26
I can't guarantee anything but I I will
01:15:28
try my my darnest uh this has been the
01:15:31
ex homeschoolers club and yeah I hope
01:15:33
you guys tune back in next week uh my
01:15:36
dad's coming on very soon so stay tuned
01:15:38
for that and more parents to come more
01:15:41
big things are in the works guys you
01:15:44
wouldn't believe it State of the Union
01:15:46
Address coming very soon as well so stay
01:15:49
tuned all right until next time peace
01:15:58
[Music]
01:16:05
[Music]
