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well welcome into the ex- homeschoolers Club I am your host Jacob goodon and today I'm joined by my lovely friend
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Alyssa Alyssa welcome to the show hi thank you Jacob for having me it has been uh we've been struggling with some
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technical issues uh on my end uh today so the fact that we're actually recording now is uh is good
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yeah but um Alissa I'm so stok to have you on the show we're going to chat
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about your homeschool Journey we're going to talk about what you're doing
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now and um you know I kind of wanted to set the scene of like we have known each
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other for I don't know I mean it's been a long time I feel like I say that with
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everybody but it's true we've known each other for a long time 14 years yeah I
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think so no it's 16 years 16 yeah because we met aana yeah it was back in 2008 so oh my
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God yeah yeah it's been a minute yeah that has been a minute oh my gosh so yeah I knew you and your sister Emily
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your older sister Emily um from Moana and I feel like we did like DBS stuff together and just like General
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homeschool things in the ohigh valley together so well very cool well give me a little bit of a breakdown before we
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get into like your homeschool Journey give me a breakdown of kind of like your family and set the scene for us of like
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siblings parents like who was homeschooled in the family and then for like how long and then we'll start
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talking about the education itself yeah for sure um so I have four sisters total um three older one younger
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and we were all kind of born in like I want to say like generational pairs so to speak because um you know my mom had
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or my parents had our first two and then a little over a decade later they had me
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and my sister um then a decade after that we had our little sister um so we're all very like spaced out in terms
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of age and whatnot um but yeah my dad was actually a first responder um till I was about 10 so he wasn't really around
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for most of the time which like okay fair and so my mom was the one responsible for all the the
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homeschooling technically um or if you could even call it that uh yeah no so give us a little bit of breakdown of
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that because I when we chatted before the show and kind of your homeschool journey is like very different than like
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mine like I grew up with a mom who she built out curriculum she bought curriculum we had like here's the agenda
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here's the modules and your experience is very different from that so talk a
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little bit about that yeah so initially what happened was from the time I was a baby till I was like five sixish um my
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mom had actually had me and my siblings all in background acting and so a lot of
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times um we were actually going back to for back and forth to La for like different
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shoots um so that was kind of like more of like a regular day for us but in terms of
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schooling uh my my mom was very weird in the in her she didn't really have like a
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set plan or anything her she had two main ideas one was either oh because you're a woman you need to stay home get
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married have babies that kind of stuff so like you don't need an education but
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on the other hand she was also would just randomly be like you need to start a business but wouldn't give us any sort
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of tools to actually be able to achieve that and so when it came to like Reading
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Writing math um our our sources of um learning was really just like watching educational shows on PBS like Between
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the Lions cyber Chi other like random reading and math shows oh and uh Magic School Bus which I want
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to say was my favorite one um it was either that or we would play like these educational computer games where again
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um they would have them set for different grades and so initially what it was is you know you start with the
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grade you're supposed to be in um but then my mom would like pressure us to like try to go for like next grade up
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but the thing was like we couldn't accomplished that because we did not have the we had not yet developed the
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abilities to be able to do some of the things that the next grade was going to do so it's very frustrating right
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because it's like math Builds on itself right you do you learn addition then you
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learn subtraction then multiplication then division that fraction and so on and so forth right and so when you when
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you're missing one of those building blocks it's like the whole thing just
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you can't even you can't do anything with it but that's wild I mean I had PBS
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in my repertoire to but but more as like I don't know a Supplemental Educational thing not so
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much of like this is your education um kind of a thing it's like bonus on top
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so that's really wild cuz I I I went to public school for a couple years um and
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then became a homeschool kid so I I kind of knew and then my mom also like I think she knew that she kind of needed
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to give me that structure of like hey here kind of a traditional classroom setting but but dang that is that is
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wild and was that like you were homeschooled all the way through yeah yeah I was um Emily was as well my two
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oldest sisters they were actually in public school till about I want say second or third grade and then uh my mom
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decided to pull them out um and my mom's claim to this was like oh the kids aren't happy in there and P them out but
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they weren't any happier at home either so it was kind of a kind of a l l situation at that point dang I mean
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that's that's so wild I I can't I can't even I can't fathom it because that's
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like just so not my experience and um but like so when it came to like old as you got older would like did there start
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to be any type of curriculum or was it always this kind of like just whatever you're interested in do some research on
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it watch some videos on it that kind of thing like did it ever shift um it was kind of a mix so as we got older it went
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from doing like oh watching the educational shows and watching and playing the computer games it went to
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here's a book do the work um but uh for me specifically that didn't really work
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because I am a kinetic learner um I'm not I'm not auditory learner I'm not a
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visual learner so like for me trying to learn like trying to read material and apply that to situations was not
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something I could do and my mom would just get really mad at me for not doing it and she'd be like you're not
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cooperating and I'm just like no I just I can't do it I can't do it um so there
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was that um but on top of that my mom was definitely definitely an undiagnosed schizophrenic and so she was kind of
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like one of the original um qinon people uh before qon like really like became popular in like what I want to say 2016
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2020 um I don't remember the era yeah more I feel like it was talked about more in 2020 but it was definitely
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starting to gain steam in like 2016 yeah and so she was like one of the OG conspiracy theorists so rather than
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um you know like teaching about us about like history or science or anything she
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would have us watch these like two to three hour long like really click baity videos about how like I don't know how
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the government is like doing Satanic rituals to children or um like how space aliens are actually
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demons um so it's like that and then there would just be like random chemistry stuff and like I said it would
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be like a three-hour long video we weren't we weren't ever given any sort
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of like homework or like any activities do so we would just like fall asleep during the videos and then she'd get mad
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at us for falling asleep and it's just like what what do you expect me to do
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here like I don't understand what's going on because again not developmentally able to process some of
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the information that's coming in and on the other hand the information like that
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was being given was useless and I knew it was useless um to an extent um which it's
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and oftentimes I would always ask her I'm like why why don't you show me like
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how to do taxes or something like can I can I have something that I'm GNA apply
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to real life please and she was like this stuff is important so you don't get
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uh brainwashed or so you don't like become a witch or something and I was like that makes absolutely no sense but
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whatever it it's funny too you bring up the witches thing and I I was I was thinking about this the other day
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because in ohigh there was like there's and stuff and and I remember there being
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kind of yeah those conversations around like oh don't let your kids get close to
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people like that because they're they're witches and that's evil and that's
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wicked but wow okay um I'm speechless like because again I mean I I said it before it's like so vastly far from like
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my own educational experience and I think it's like the worst nightmare the worst case scenario nightmare thing when
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people think about homeschooling they think of like kids just being at home learning like whatever right just like
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you know unlimited access to the internet research what you want like play video games that kind of thing and
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pretty much everyone I've talked to up to now has had some structure of like
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okay here's like here's math and here's science and here's that and it's like
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you had none of that and so like I yeah I don't blame you for being frustrated
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by that and then also like like you said that you're a kinetic learner and so
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that's it's that's a whole another learning style in and of itself like I'm
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a visual learner I got to read it on the page to understand it I'm learning to be
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more of an audio learner but like that was just not me you know in in uh grade school and then there's also the issue
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of um because I I do like to talk about developmental um stuff a lot because I'm
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a teacher um or almost a teacher kind of teacher right now like I I teach after school classes I do like marine biology
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cooking stuff like that but on my way to becoming a teacher um but one of the really one of the things I think really
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was detrimental to me was um just the lack of I want to say medical intervention so to speak I'm not sure if
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that's the right word but essentially what happened was um I was non-verbal until I was about four and you know most
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children start Mak noises like what m couple months old start having like right they can form like short sentences
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by the time they're like two three yeah I had none of that and so rather than my
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parents being like Oh there's something wrong why isn't she talking they're like
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oh she's just being uncooperative but really it was a sign that I had um I had
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like a developmental issue and you know years later I find out I'm on the Spectrum which I'm like that makes a lot
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of sense um but yeah I think think especially one of the really and I think this goes for like more than just my
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family in general but I think one of the really important things is being is having some sort of like professional
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being able to kind of like monitor your kids development just to make sure that they're where they should be
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appropriately because if they're not then that can be a sign that something's
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wrong and that's one thing that teachers are actually like trained to notice like
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if a kid's like falling behind on like certain Concepts that they should be able to get then that would be the point
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where the teacher like recommends like hey like maybe you should take them to a specialist go get an evaluation and so
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that way if there is some sort of issue like developmental or or mental emotional issue then um the kid can get
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this thing called uh an IEP which is an educ individualized educational plan and
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they can adjust their learning to that in a way that right it will really help the student be able learn materials you
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know yeah well and it's it's interesting because I think that a lot of people
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think that homeschool is kind of that right like a lot of people they homeschool their kids because their kids
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struggle in a Traditional School setting and they need that more individual attention but also if you're educating
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all of your kids at home and you don't have an eye to pick up like okay this
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this child is learning in a different way then yeah like that can totally go missed unchecked and you know and then
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yeah here we are years later and it's like do you even know anything you know
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like like you have zero education to a degree and so that was kind of one of my questions too was like so you had this
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like severe lack of education but like how did you end up learning to like compensate for that and then like
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obviously like you're you're becoming a teacher now like that is that is no easy
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task and that takes some education so like what what was the pivot kind of point of where you went okay like I got
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to figure this out and nobody's helping me or maybe somebody stepped in and helped you but like was there a point
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where you figured out like okay I gotta I got to learn something yeah so I think what really started it was when I
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was I want to say 16 I did actually get to go to my first class in anything ever
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um like an official class with like a with like a professional teacher um I it was a ballet class and I just remember
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being so scared just because I had no idea how a classroom worked I don't know
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how to behave and so there was just a lot of anxiety for that and there were definitely times I did get in trouble um
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for like doing something like out of order or like inappropriate because again I don't I didn't know how a
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classroom worked um so yeah I I was very anxious back then um and eventually um I
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don't even know how this conversation happened um but my dance teacher at the
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time she came up to me and she was like Hey like you can do great things like I believe in you and I think that really
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changed things in perspective because like I don't think I ever had anyone tell me that like no one had ever told
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me like oh yeah if you want to do something just put your mind to it and you can do it and I was like okay um and
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yeah that really stuck with me for years and especially since I was like I say 91 I had been super depressed just
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because I knew I didn't have an education and I knew that a lot of people were be actively being given
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tools to learn how to function in society like Reading Writing History Science all that stuff and I didn't have
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that and so I for so many years I just felt so hopeless and that led to more mental health issues down the road right
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um and so I kind of just felt like oh I can't I can't go anywhere I can't
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there's nothing I can really do I can just take what comes my way and go along
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and so I ended up uh getting a job at a forced home I don't know if you've ever
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been there in oh high but yep I got a job there when I was 17 and so I was like slowly learning
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like kind of how to be social with other people because like although I I was social sometimes it was with a like in
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under the lens of like Christianity and stuff and a bunch of other homeschoolers
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who also don't really know how to interact with the public um so like the social aspect was a bit challenging um
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but yeah anyways that happened and then 2020 hit uh I lost my job there I got laid off and I think at that moment I
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was like wait a second I can I can do whatever I want like I don't have to be
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stuck working this minimum AG job for the West for the rest of my life um like you know that was kind of the time to
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reinvent myself um especially since like my dance school closed um a lot of the clubs and like Ministries I was a part
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of like also shut down so I'm like okay I can I can do whatever I want and so
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initially I was trying to go for um a GED uh but then shortly after I started that I
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actually um ended up being offered a job at a dent practice and I think the only
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reason I I ended up getting that job was because my then boyfriend at the time uh
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his dentist was like looking for someone to run the front office and they had asked his mom and she was like oh like I
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can't I still got a kid I'm homeschooling but my son's girlfriend's
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looking for a job and so you you know um I went in um and I think if there's
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anything that homeschooling did teach me was I I learned how to like kind of interact with adults
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like more more than I did with kids because like I never I never really saw kids that much but I did I did see more
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adults in general and so you know like I know how like be polite you know I did research like okay this is how you dress
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for a job this is how like how you stand this is how you ask questions and so I was doing all my research for the job
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ended up getting offered it and it was just insane um because like with the job it did pay me well enough to the point
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where I was like oh like I can actually afford like to go to Community College like no issue um and so like when I was
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looking up like oh like how to pick a major and stuff um and I was doing the enrolling process the one thing that I
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did see was um a major for childhood development and I was like okay like this might be something I'm interested
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in just because like something that I was really passionate about was like learning like what happened to me like
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what was wrong what was right like what can I do change things like for my younger sister or for whatever future
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children I have and I was like okay well if I don't end up using this degree to
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get a job I can at least use it to understand myself better um and so I started going for that and I really
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relied on the help of um other people who had been to college before me like Elia for example um I know you had her
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as a guest last week I think um but yeah she was really help and being like okay
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like this is how you enroll like this is how you take notes this is how you uh write um study questions or whatever and
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honestly if it wasn't for her and like the other people I had to support me that time I would be here right now um
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so yeah I ended up like I only started doing like three classes semester because I was working full-time in a
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dental practice during covid um and so it was just a major it was a major life change for me and
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then like being in the office setting I'm also like learning more things like
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oh how to like I'm in the process of learning how to properly write um but yeah it was so weird just to go from
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like oh you know minimum wage job to all of a sudden you're a manager at at a
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tial practice and no one told me I was going to be the manager um I only found out like 10 months in well initially my
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boss was like kind of getting annoyed at me for like not doing like certain things that a manager would do but he
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didn't tell me that I was um but yeah 10 months later it was like oh Alissa is the uh office manager
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and I was like that would have been would have been great to tell me when you were hiring me you know I would have
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reconsidered if I was able to do this or not but oh well I guess yeah you said something in there that I think you said
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two two things that really stuck out to me one you had a ballet teacher that told you like you are capable of great
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things yeah which is I think one of the most powerful things that any kid can hear like I had parents
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who who told me that most of my childhood and grandparents and and people surrounding me who kind of like
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told me those things and even to this day like people call me and if they say like like if my dad tells me like I'm
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proud of you on the phone I'm like oh my God then I like get off the phone and
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cry um kind of a thing and but like so you said that which I think is super impactful because yes it kind of shifted
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some things for you and then two you said that you wanted to you wanted to Center your education on
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like that early childhood development stages because you wanted to figure out what like was had gone on with you and I
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think that's really cool because when like I even know for myself now of like when I run into issues it's
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like that is where I put my effort into learning is like what am I struggling with okay let me go get answers right
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let me listen to podcast read books take a class do whatever I have to do to like
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figure this out for myself because then once you have that knowledge well there's no reason you can't help
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somebody else and you wanted to help your little sister and figure out like okay was there is there something wrong
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with me you know not that it's wrong but just like what is going on why why am I
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the way I am so those two things really stuck out to me um and uh that's insane
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and I'm glad that I'm glad that things have played out in a way that I I guess you could say has more of
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a happy ending um and I hope you feel that way um yeah okay well that's good
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um because yeah I think man I can't I I still can't get over like the lack of Education thing I
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think is just is so hard again to Fathom because it's like not my experience
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whatsoever and then to be like okay I got to go GED I got to take these classes and things like that is is
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insane but so so now so now you're currently in college you're finish you're finishing up College you're going
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to be a teacher do you have a specific area that you're going to focus in or
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are you going to be just kind of like primary grade school teacher I really want to have my
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concentration in or I want to get my masters in um biology education um just because for me like like I said uh one
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of the one of my sources of Education was watching Magic School Bus and you know I loved watching like oh how does
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mitosis work or how does light refraction work and I just thought that stuff was so cool and then I think the
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thing that really put the nail in the coffin um was when I was really young I want to say I was five or something uh
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my family decided to take a trip um to go see the body World Expedition and I I don't know if you ever got the chance to
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like go to one of those when you were younger I don't think so yeah so basically what it is is they they have
00:24:03
real human cabers um and they're set in display so you can see like the nervous system you
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can see different organs and stuff and I remember that in one of the displays there was like this glass box and it had
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a brain in it um and there was a glove that was attached to the box so you could like pick up the brain and like
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look at it and peel it around and I just remember doing that I was so excited I'm
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like oh my gosh a um I think that got me overall just like really excited to learn about just
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how things work in the natural world especially um and I think each person who has been homeschooled can kind of
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like say like oh they had like a moment from like a field trip or a class or something that really impacted them to
00:24:53
pursue a certain career or a certain subject um and so from that was science um and like I said like I currently am
00:25:02
an after school teacher for a private company um and I did uh get the chance to like kind of like assist teach for a
00:25:10
marine biology class for middle school and it was just so fun watching kids get so excited about like you know
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dissecting a dog fish shark or a squid and you know they're feeling around the
00:25:23
different parts they looking at it and um in the microscope and like looking at different cells and stuff and I think
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that for me the thing that made me so happy is just like watching those kids get excited about learning right um yeah
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and like for me like when I was younger um I actually mentioned this in our call
00:25:43
yesterday like you know you'd have like normal kids dream of like oh they want
00:25:47
to be a firefighter astronaut but for me my dream was like I want to go take a math quiz I want to I want to sit in a
00:25:55
classroom or eat at a cafeteria stuff like that um so I think all of that was just kind of like
00:26:03
really um like really a buildup for kind of like me pursuing my career in education and what not so yeah yeah no I
00:26:12
was gonna say I was gonna bring that up because yeah you did mention that yesterday of like yeah dreaming of yeah
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going to school and being like a quote unquote normal kid right um but but yeah it does it is interesting because I do
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think that there there are those moments that like shape us right of like I know
00:26:30
for me going to Tim Franc music studio and playing guitar and learning drums and learning how like all the all the
00:26:38
music equipment worked like that shaped a lot of what I wanted to do in working in the entertainment industry and um and
00:26:45
so yeah I definitely I mean you could see it like if you if you listen to any of the episodes and you catch up with
00:26:51
the H school friends you start to see certain things where you go this really makes sense why this person pursued this
00:26:57
because like maybe you remember the reason like remember them being really into that or or whatever but that's so
00:27:04
cool I mean I think you're gonna make a great teacher first of all thank you and and the fact that you have as
00:27:13
much joy learning as you see the kids like that's inspiring right is like I think that kids get excited to learn
00:27:20
things when they have role models who are also very excited to like learn new things with them and teach them things
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right and uh and biolog is definitely interesting um it's uh I remember dissecting stuff in school and I was
00:27:35
more grossed out by it I think than intrigued but it is cool to like learn obviously like okay this is a
00:27:42
heart ties into this does this you know all these different things um is crazy but man yeah I've only seen uh you
00:27:50
brought up the human cadav thing I've only ever seen one human cadav it was when I was in college we had a cadaver
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lab so one time hated the smell hated like being in the room with it felt really disgusting but I mean Kudos few
00:28:04
for being into it yeah I I honestly think that um there was kind of like a multitude of stuff that like led to me
00:28:14
being okay with what some people would consider more grory or disturbing like like for example like I was talking
00:28:21
about how you know like me and my siblings in background acting and so there were definitely like shows that we
00:28:27
would go on that did did involve some violence like um like I remember there was this one show I think it was like
00:28:34
five or whatever but the scene was basically like this weird like cop chase or something and what it was supposed to
00:28:43
look like was I got ran over by a truck okay there was like that or like I remember like having to go to um or
00:28:52
having to go to like a Ware prop Warehouse to make a mold of my foot because they're like oh yeah we need a
00:28:59
amputated foot for this scene or like watching scenes of like my older sister covered in blood because she was shot in
00:29:06
a driveby or she like died in an overheated car so like stuff like that um and also like kind of the horror
00:29:13
drama or to was very normalized to us just because we like okay we know like how this stuff works like we've lived in
00:29:18
it so it's not it's not really disturbing to us but also um with my dad being a first responder uh he would tell
00:29:26
us some pretty graphic stories at the dinner table um about he was like oh yeah you know and that person died today
00:29:33
and I'm like okay I'm just trying to enjoy my plate of spaghetti uh but okay
00:29:40
so I think that made like the Gory stuff or like what people think is gross like
00:29:47
pretty interesting to me just because like I said I grew up around it um and yeah I mean there there's like some
00:29:54
stuff where like I said my mom would like force me to watch videos is about like people like practicing like Satanic
00:30:02
rituals um so I wasn't really perence and more at this point well I mean I am deserved now uh but yeah just
00:30:13
stuff like that was so normalized in our house and so for me to now like kind of
00:30:19
be pursuing like more spy stuff like oh like how did these organs work and how does this work um especially having see
00:30:26
like multiple like gory itions of those things not being in your body um I think
00:30:31
that all just kind of that in like oh like what Happ if that part's missing or
00:30:37
how would this thing be affected you know yeah I feel like there was a lot of good that
00:30:46
did um help me to like you know want to be interested in science but there was also a lot of bad too right and I think
00:30:54
recognizing that is important like for example like I don't think I ever have
00:30:58
been shown videos of like I don't know people getting sacrificed in rituals that wasn't great or being told about
00:31:07
crappy stories from like being a first respaw I shouldn't have told that stuff
00:31:12
you know like I wasn't ready but um fortunately SL unfortunately it did kind
00:31:17
of shape me into who I am today and like I can't can't do anything about what
00:31:22
happened but what I can do is I can choose to choose to let it impact my life in
00:31:30
either a good way or a bad way and I'm I'm choosing to let it impact me in
00:31:35
a good you know yeah no and that's good to hear and even just like catching up
00:31:40
with you and and chatting with you I can I can feel that in your like personality
00:31:45
is like you you exhibit like hope and joy and happiness um and those are all things that I think are are emotions and
00:31:56
feelings that like we get to Cho to experience um like you said and so um so keep at it um please and I know that
00:32:05
you got me in your corner um if you need anything um always but um I think you know I I I tend to ask
00:32:15
people the kind of the question of like oh well if someone came to you and they wanted to homeschool their kid like you
00:32:21
know would you would you say yeah would you recommend that for people I think I probably kind of already know your your
00:32:28
response to this I can expand on it if you want yeah but I I think in more of a broad sense is like for parents who do
00:32:38
want to be involved in their kids education like what do you think are things that
00:32:44
parents should be on the lookout for and like with a kid who maybe is on the Spectrum and things like that as well of
00:32:52
like hey you know we need to get this kid some help maybe we don't have the tools but tools are out out there if you
00:32:58
have anything in that vein I would I would love to hear about it yeah for sure um
00:33:04
so I know not all parents might be able to do this but like take a human development class take a child
00:33:10
development class like learn what's normal what's not normal so that way if
00:33:14
you see an issue um going on with your child then you can properly get them the help that
00:33:21
they need and also like just have realistic expectations like don't try to force your kid to become like a
00:33:28
piano or pianist at like four okay like let let them develop as they should um but yeah there there is however um I I
00:33:41
want to say especially in like younger ages where really just um being able to explore like the world around you is
00:33:49
really helpful um I know there are some like TK Schools that do that and it's
00:33:54
called um like using the monory method um which is just like oh children are designed to want to learn about the
00:34:02
world around them so you know they do that by you know doing playing little games or just like touching stuff
00:34:09
tasting right all that so I think I think especially like in the early years like yeah like let them explore like
00:34:16
give them uh different things to explore and then as they get older um just like
00:34:23
be aware of what's appropriate for them to learn at that age and if there is a
00:34:29
parent that wants to H school and like they do know like okay here's what I should look for um I would also
00:34:34
recommend looking at um educational standards where I don't know if you ever
00:34:39
heard of them but um specifically in California they do have um like standards for Learning and so you can
00:34:47
look at like oh what should a kid at seven be able to do with math okay they should be able to do a b and c um so I
00:34:55
think that is really important like I said just do your research um and I honestly don't necessarily
00:35:03
blame uh some parents for wanting to homeschool their kids like for example you see gun violence in schools and you
00:35:11
know I'm just like hey if you're worried about that I totally get it like that's
00:35:14
something like I'm scared of sometimes like when I go to work I'm just like oh
00:35:17
am I gonna am I gonna get shot today who knows I right really hope not but um it's an unfortunate thing that we are
00:35:26
currently dealing with um um in this moment of History not fun but yeah uh yeah like I said just
00:35:35
really instead of making your child into who you want them to be you should really be more focused on giving them to
00:35:45
giving them the tools to become the person that they want to be because I think so many parents or homeschool
00:35:50
parents especially like have like a set of expectations like oh yeah my kid's
00:35:55
going to be a doctor uh a lawyer or they're gonna be a pastor or something but I think that putting expectations on
00:36:04
a child is very limiting to them and you know it can also create feelings of like I don't know disappointment I guess
00:36:12
you could say where the child could feel like oh I'm not living up to my parents
00:36:17
expectations like it's my fault but in reality if you if the only expectation
00:36:22
you should put on child is that or maybe not expectation but like the only thing
00:36:28
you should be worried about is like again giving them the tools to learn um and give them
00:36:36
the sorry I'm likeing right now um I get what you're I get what you're saying
00:36:40
though it's kind of like give them the expectation is like whether it's an
00:36:44
expectation or not is kind of like give your kid like the ability and the skills
00:36:49
necessary to like go be to live a happy and fulfilling life really is like what it is
00:36:55
exactly and you know I I've definitely seen some families who have done a great
00:37:00
job at that uh like I remember I don't know if you heard about it at the time
00:37:04
it happened but there's like that one guy in The Homeschool Community who got
00:37:08
like a perfect sat scor and he was like a little celebrity for a minute that was not
00:37:16
me yeah I think this was back in like 2015 16 or whatever I don't remember but
00:37:22
yeah I I definitely think that some parents did do a really good job of homeschooling their kids like could of
00:37:28
those um my parents or my parent did not are the one that was responsible for the
00:37:34
homeschooling right um so I really think it also kind of comes down to to researching like you know what's needed
00:37:43
um and I think some of it the reason some people have not great homeschooling experiences is partially because of the
00:37:51
laws that in place for homeschooling because I think in our district like the reason uh my my mom got away with like
00:37:58
not doing anything in terms of like our education was because there was never anyone like checking in on us there we
00:38:06
were never like forced to go to do like any state testing or anything um so literally she would just like fill out
00:38:12
the paperwork as a private school put in the grades that she wanted send it off right whatever it's a done deal and I
00:38:18
think when that happens that can really hide a lot of um I would say hide a lot of the needs
00:38:27
that children actually have been school because you don't have anyone checking
00:38:32
in on them um because you're kind of trusting the parent that oh yeah the kids's fine in doing in whatever subject
00:38:42
they're doing but the reality is they're not um and yeah I think that's just like
00:38:48
a flaw in like The Homeschool laws and whatnot so yeah no and I was going to add cuz like my mom definitely followed
00:38:55
a lot stricter to like the educational standards of California and I know that she was very involved um in or not very
00:39:06
involved but she was like very tied into like people from Chia which so c h EA and chia was like I I want to say it was
00:39:14
like Christian Home Educators of Association or something like that but basically they they would hold a
00:39:19
conference every year with um you could go by curriculum you could take classes like she was very much aware of the like
00:39:27
her biggest goal um for for me and my sister was like I want them to if they want to go to college I want them to be
00:39:35
able to go to college no problems and so so we did standardized testing and we you know followed all those protocols
00:39:42
and had transcripts and had all of that kind of stuff and had everything documented I think it wasn't until like
00:39:47
I don't know a couple years ago maybe that they like shredded all the documents finally but it was like tubs
00:39:51
and tubs of documents um all of our school work graded kind of a thing that she kept for years
00:39:58
um at least all the way throughout me being in college um you know as evidence right to say he did this kind of a thing
00:40:06
and um you know I'm sure it's you can scan stuff now it's not you don't gotta
00:40:11
keep tubs and tubs of stuff but um but yeah I think it definitely it helped her because it gave her those those
00:40:19
guidelines of like hey my kid needs these things and something I wanted to bring up too was that the fact of like
00:40:29
you know there's there's there's a thing that people say of like if you see something say
00:40:34
something and I think that goes also within the homeschool Community was there was a lot of this kind of like on
00:40:41
the outside everyone kind of like oh we all believe the same thing and everyone's home life is is good and
00:40:45
glamorous and like you know it looks good everyone looks good and on the inside people were like in insane
00:40:52
situations and they had their own issues and and um that type of thing and so it's also the responsibility of those
00:40:59
people who are in your community to like if they see that in the armor and they get a glimpse inside of it say
00:41:06
something you got to bring it up and we need to do better for kids right we need
00:41:11
to like protect them and make sure they're in good safe environments where they're getting the education that they
00:41:18
deserve and and need so I just wanted to bring that up as well yeah yeah for sure
00:41:24
um yeah and that was also something I want to talk about because I think that especially with like religious
00:41:32
homeschool families like I think you can agree with me on this that like the majority of people that were
00:41:38
homeschooled were also very religious um and a lot of them you know they homeschooled for religious reasons but
00:41:45
um I think that can get dangerous to an extent because like for me I was raised in a cult um where they also like were
00:41:55
raised with like very similar beliefs like oh women don't go school like their
00:41:58
job's to be a wife and mother while men are supposed to be protectors and yeah I I also think that
00:42:08
like I I have this one very specific memory of like when I was younger I think I was in Sunday school or like
00:42:15
some sort of like kids Bible group and mind you I wasn't allowed to go anywhere
00:42:20
that didn't have the label of Christian Jesus or Bible on it cuz then it was
00:42:25
consider considered world and you didn't want to get um brainwashed by the world so it was
00:42:32
very limited on to like who had access to me or who I had access to and so some but anyways back to the memory um I
00:42:42
remember the uh the teacher at the time was like saying something about like I I don't remember if it was like
00:42:51
about your parents loving you or whatever but I just like my little autistic self didn't realize that this
00:42:58
was not a normal thing to say but I was like said I love you in like five years and at that point they're just like oh
00:43:08
okay moving on rather than recognizing like oh you know because like here's the
00:43:13
thing um I think that like whenever we had heard of other uh homeschool children like bringing up like kind of
00:43:21
dark stuff like that the the thing we were Tau were like oh they're just lying
00:43:25
for attention or whatever but it's just like like kids don't lie about their
00:43:30
parents not loving them because that's a not normal thing to say um yeah and so
00:43:36
it was kind of like when I did try to bring up like some issues of stuff going on my house people would just be like oh
00:43:41
honor your father and mother and not recognize like oh hey you know maybe there's something wrong here um yeah
00:43:50
yeah and so I think that religion and homeschooling can get very dangerous very quick um because like I said I was
00:43:58
raised in C um and there was also yeah it it was just not good not good at all um especially since I yeah I knew of
00:44:08
other kids who were like who were I mean I don't know if I like need to put trigger warning for
00:44:14
this or anything but there were like multiple kids who were also homeschooled um who I didn't find out until like a
00:44:22
bit later that they were like getting abused by their parents like some of them sexually some of physically or
00:44:28
verbally mentally like it's all it was terrible but like again nobody was doing
00:44:33
anything about it because there was this front of like one you're not allowed to
00:44:36
like make your family look bad like you're not allowed to share anything um and two if you say something
00:44:43
about your parents doing something to you then you're lying because you need
00:44:47
to honor your father and mother and if they're doing something to you you probably deserved it which I think
00:44:52
really kept the cycle of abuse going on um in a lot of the home families that I knew yeah yeah no
00:45:02
I it's hard cuz I I agree with you I mean I think that definitely that shadow
00:45:08
of like yeah don't like you know we're putting on a front right it's like my
00:45:13
family it it happened multiple time you know fighting all the way to church you get out of car at church and the smiles
00:45:18
go on and everybody everything's perfect everything's great right um and it's
00:45:25
it's definitely hard because how can you how do you know right and then yeah
00:45:31
and also if you're being told that like you know if a kid is saying this one
00:45:34
thing that like they're lying for attention right and it's like that's
00:45:39
that's a dangerous slippy slippery slope um yeah to to fall down and I think yeah
00:45:46
I definitely think that people need to step up um within the church and I think there's a large reason why so many
00:45:54
people have stepped away because when when you read when you read the Bible which like I don't know about you
00:46:01
I mean I was highly encouraged read the Bible every day you know study study the
00:46:06
stories and those types of things and the people and the places and the and the things that happened in the Bible
00:46:10
that I read about I was I didn't always see it lived out and so I think that
00:46:17
that informed my decision to walk away from from religion because I was just I was like I don't see it and you can you
00:46:25
can put the guys on it that's like well it's human air and it's like okay yeah
00:46:28
but there's also no calling out on these things that are happening right you know
00:46:33
a pastor molesting a child or you know cheating on his wife and running away with the secretary or you know kids
00:46:39
getting hurt by their parents you know it's like there's nothing being done
00:46:44
aside from that person then needing to be like ask for forgiveness right pray for forgiveness and you know and yeah
00:46:50
then they're all good and it's like but where's the accountability right yeah
00:46:55
doesn't work where is it yeah and I think that Christians really need to step up and show that like they
00:47:02
actually do want to take a stand against some of the evil and some of the wickedness that takes place within in
00:47:08
religion and that is like is just hidden you know and so it it it's hard because
00:47:15
like you know and there's no it's not an easy fix I guess is the way is the way to put it
00:47:22
and also when you're talking about people inside of a more like Behavior it's very hard to break that right um
00:47:32
and you know and that's why you watch if you watch a documentary about scientology
00:47:39
or or Jonestown or Mormonism or whatever you go like why don't these people leave
00:47:44
like they hate their life why don't they just leave and it's like there's it's
00:47:48
that brainwashing thing that so many parents were scared of us experiencing if we went to anything that wasn't
00:47:54
Church involved or things like that and and this this is again not to say that every parent was this way but there
00:48:01
there is a large chunk of people who homeschool their kids for very religious reasons and it can tend to lean more
00:48:07
into like that cult-like behavior and it's scary you know um and so I think having those things in place
00:48:14
like you said having those the ability to have people check up on kids uh and families and make sure that the proper
00:48:23
things are happening and I don't know what that looks like um CS yeah but you know
00:48:32
it's that's important and I think we need to push more and more for things
00:48:36
like that so yeah for sure and like I remember specifically um I think this was around the time that I realized that
00:48:44
there was starting to be a pattern but um so fun fact for people listening out there I was also part of the M team that
00:48:52
Jacob mentions almost what every week yourself yeah yeah I if I don't bring up mes it's the
00:48:59
new drinking game it's the X hom schoolers drinking game if I bring up mes if I bring up swing dance um and if
00:49:05
I tell the story of going to Disneyland and doing school work at Disneyland um take a drink um and if you don't drink
00:49:11
take a swig of water um but yes the mind we were not on the team at the same time
00:49:17
but yeah same troop just different times I think the only time we were ever on at
00:49:23
the same time was like I was a Christmas mime while you were like still on the team and then by the time I joined time
00:49:30
you were gone um but yeah so when I was 16 I became like one of the MIM leaders and for like for those of you don't know
00:49:39
like being in the position of MIM leader kind of meant like oh not only were you
00:49:43
in charge of like directing these little skits or but you were also like considered a spiritual leader in a way
00:49:51
which looking back that was really weird because like why are these teenagers being forced to like be mentors to these
00:49:58
Junior highers like that's kind of weird if you think about it because teenagers
00:50:02
still aren't fully developed but aside from that um yeah they had asked me to
00:50:08
share like my testimony or whatever and I think what they did not realized the cat of worms they were opening up at
00:50:14
that point um because people were like oh I was sad but then I found God but mine was like oh yeah I witnessed
00:50:21
domestic abuse and I struggled with trying to un alive myself multiple times um but yeah I remember at one
00:50:31
point like when I was sharing my story I just like broke down crying like inconsolably and like I ended up having
00:50:38
like a bunch of 12-year-olds like come up and just like give me a hug and I eventually like finished with my
00:50:45
story and then like after that I had so many of those Minds like come up to me and tell me like yeah like I'm also
00:50:53
struggling with depression or like yeah I'm also I was also abused by my parents
00:50:58
and I think that uh really set in motion two things really um one it really set up my uh desire to help children in need
00:51:09
which was also another big reason as to why I chose to become a teacher uh but it also really made me realize like oh
00:51:16
like I'm not out like there there's a connection between all of us like what
00:51:21
is it and what was that connection we were all homeschooled and we were all in cult so yeah
00:51:29
I like I said it it can it it was a lot to process at the time and it still is yeah and that's the
00:51:38
thing I think it's one of those things where when you begin to unpack it you
00:51:43
find there's more and more right and and it's it's a never ending stream of
00:51:48
everything right and for those people who are no longer religious uh like Alyssa and I you know
00:51:57
it's like just know there are other people out here like you who you know we
00:52:01
hear you we see you um and uh I know for me don't be afraid to reach out to me
00:52:06
I'm happy to always talk about it um because it's it can feel very isolating
00:52:13
when it's like your whole world is wrapped up in this thing and um and it can feel very scary because like are you
00:52:19
going to lose everything you you've ever known um and yeah and I think to your point I think I I left the mime
00:52:30
troop for a couple reasons the the basic reasons the reasons I always told people was like uh
00:52:35
I'm just busy and like I'm trying to do more with school and I was trying to
00:52:39
like do college and high school at the same time and stuff like that but on a deeper level I had seen some of that
00:52:46
like you're having high school kids Mentor Junior High kids which I don't
00:52:50
think is a terrible thing but from a spiritual perspective It's tricky because we're
00:52:56
all still learning and so when you're 14 When You're 15 16 years old like you're
00:53:02
not a pastor you haven't gone to Seminary you you read the Bible maybe once um and all of a sudden you're
00:53:10
expected to kind of like spiritually Mentor 12-year-olds and that's like yeah
00:53:15
that's that's a lot to put on somebody um and it can definitely be really
00:53:19
conflicting and confusing and that was like that was a thing that I was like I don't want to do that that was not yeah
00:53:26
not for me no I also think that the thing that was really concerning at the time was you know rather than like I
00:53:34
don't know someone calling the police or something calling authorities they were
00:53:39
like we should have you share your testimony at other high schools and middle schools and I was like okay um
00:53:47
yeah and also like again like not like not none of the adults like actually checked in on me or my family they're
00:53:56
just like I'm going to send you scripture or I remember someone literally had the audacity to come up to
00:54:01
me and they were like I knew a girl who self hared I was like okay and and she's
00:54:08
like that's it I was like okay why are you telling me this what what the hell like yeah I think people didn't
00:54:15
really did not understand how to like actively approach uh people who were dealing with
00:54:22
mental health they're just like okay but Jesus so it's fine right and I think
00:54:26
that goes I I know I I did an episode recently and I talked about more about like Purity culture and stuff which is a
00:54:33
whole another can of worms but it kind of goes into this there's a lack of Education when it comes to sex in in
00:54:40
church there's also a lack of understanding around mental health when it comes to church and I think a lot of
00:54:45
it has to do with they're very great areas um and a lot of people like to look at religion as like black and white
00:54:52
right there's good and evil and there's nothing in between and um and I think
00:54:57
mental health Falls in that great area where it's like some people view it as like well
00:55:04
that's demons living inside of you right and we need to cast them out right which
00:55:07
is like um uh to put it frankly and you know and then there's other people who actually recognize that there
00:55:15
is more to it than that um and then there are the people in the middle who just they recognize that there's more to
00:55:21
it but they don't know what to do about it right and maybe they don't have time
00:55:24
yeah or the energy to to pour into that and I think that the more that we can educate people to understand that like
00:55:32
mental health struggles are very real right um Suicidal Thoughts very real depression anxiety all that Stu very
00:55:39
very real um again if you see something say something right or I was gonna say and I
00:55:46
think to just amately be like oh it's a spiritual attack or oh it's demons
00:55:53
is say it's honestly like you're not like there are so many things that can impact a person's mental health
00:56:02
it could be economic status it could be family life it could be relationships it
00:56:07
or just just straight chemicals in your brain misfiring right like I remember I had this situation a couple months ago
00:56:15
where for context um I have a condition called uh pnes which is stands for psychogenic non-epileptic seizures where
00:56:24
basically they're stress and due seizures and so if I get too stressed out I will start
00:56:28
seizing but yeah someone was like I don't want to get to details of necessarily what happened but someone
00:56:36
was saying something to me while I was already really stressed out and so I started having a seizure and their
00:56:43
immediate reaction was she's having a spiritual reaction to what I'm saying
00:56:48
and I'm just like can you shut up like H me my beds or something like yeah dude
00:56:53
like it's it there's so much ignorance that comes with putting um linking
00:56:59
spirituality directly to uh mental health while I do want to just acknowledge like yeah I I mean although
00:57:07
I am not religious I do believe that there are there the metap the metaphysical exist um I will recognize
00:57:16
that and there are times where you know spiritual stuff can get in and out uh how just to label everything as a demon
00:57:24
and being like oh we'll just pray it away like you're denying someone the
00:57:27
chance to get the help they need whether it be therapy or medication or I literally literally anything else um so
00:57:38
yeah I just want to put that put that out there yeah no I yeah I agree with you um on that as well and again I think
00:57:47
it it comes down to education education education right it's like the more the
00:57:52
more things the more things are talked about and people are ask questions and seek answers it's like the
00:57:59
more we're going to be aware of of things and how we can help people and recognize people I know for a lot of my
00:58:06
friends who have struggled with depression it can even be as simple as like they get a phone call from a friend
00:58:12
who's just like hey what's up what's going on and that can be a game Cher for
00:58:16
them that's not always the case but you know it can it can do something brain
00:58:21
chemical wise yeah you know and so small things like that definitely go along way
00:58:26
but recognizing when your friends are hurting and taking action on that is very very important and so um yeah I
00:58:35
think this has been amazing because and I'm glad we kind of went where we went
00:58:41
yeah yeah and because it's it's important and I think people need to hear the the point of the show The goal
00:58:49
of this show has always been it it started as very much a way of me wanting to just kind of like catch up with
00:58:56
friends and kind of fluffy and talk about some of the cringe and things like that and what I've realized in doing now
00:59:03
for a couple months now is that like there is a lot of hurt there's a lot of
00:59:08
good but there's also a lot of hurt and a lot of ugliness um under the surface
00:59:13
of a lot of what we did and experienced as kids and so I think it's important to
00:59:18
put some light on that and say we can do better right and um yeah yeah for sure and
00:59:26
um so yeah I mean with that Alyssa I don't know if you've got any final words
00:59:33
or if other stories have popped into your brain but um this has been amazing and I really I really do appreciate you
00:59:40
coming on and being like so vulnerable and open with with the audience yeah for sure if there's anything that I want to
00:59:47
leave off with is this is this is kind of my life philosophy but if you speak up you were giving someone else the
00:59:56
courage to speak up as well like I think that was something I realized back in that story I shared about like sharing
01:00:01
my testimony um but yeah but just just by being open you're helping other people and you know that's one of the
01:00:09
reasons like why I wanted to come on here and you know share a bit of my story because I I do believe that this
01:00:16
um show is really it's going to help a lot of people and I hope you know that
01:00:21
Jacob like I think listening to it has definitely helped me quite a bit so yeah and honestly anyone who's out there
01:00:30
listening like if you have something you want to share and you think it can help
01:00:34
other people share it like yeah that that's my biggest encouragement to anyone listening well thank you and that
01:00:41
means a lot and yeah this show has definitely been I think therapy for not only me but also
01:00:47
for other people and even for parents um which has been the wildest thing to hear
01:00:52
from as well um and so yeah like Alissa said if you have a story that you to share like please reach out like whether
01:00:58
you want to be on the show or whether you just want to catch up with me I'm always down to chat so you can reach out
01:01:04
to me Instagram it's exhs Club um or email is exhs [email protected] I want to hear from you guys I want to
01:01:14
know what's going on you know and if you got something you want to share like
01:01:17
please don't hesitate uh to reach out because I want to share it um no story
01:01:24
is too big or too small um um and uh you know and we help Nobody by remaining silent so yeah and also like if anyone
01:01:33
for any reason like wants to like ask me questions about my experiences you're
01:01:37
also welcome to reach out to me on Instagram my handle is just the Mexican person that's it uh so if you if you
01:01:44
want to reach out to me you're more than welcome to I'm happy to answer any
01:01:48
questions that you may have so very cool awesome yeah and I'm going to drop all
01:01:52
that in the show notes as well so uh so you know if you listen on two times speed like me being a weirdo um you can
01:01:58
you know catch it in the show notes and things like that Alyssa this has been amazing and hopefully you come back
01:02:04
again um and we can talk more things about home school life no just let me know when okay
01:02:11
sounds good and uh yeah like I said before this has been the ex homeschoolers Club you can reach out to
01:02:17
me on Instagram email me you know if you're listening on your favorite audio
01:02:22
platform I would I would love a review um whether it's good or bad um I'm open
01:02:28
to it all um and if you're watching on YouTube leave a comment just say hey what's up um you know and uh yeah but
01:02:35
aside from that this has been the ex- homeschoolers club and until next week we'll see you peace
01:02:42
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