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Did I Grow Up In A Homeschool Cult? | EXHS #17

November 25, 2024 / 01:03:02

This episode features Jacob Goodon and guest Alyssa discussing her unique homeschooling experience, family dynamics, and her journey toward becoming a teacher.

Alyssa shares her background, including her family structure with four sisters and her father's role as a first responder. She explains how her mother managed their homeschooling without a structured curriculum, relying heavily on educational shows and computer games.

Throughout the conversation, Alyssa reflects on the challenges she faced due to a lack of formal education and her learning style as a kinetic learner. She discusses the impact of her mother's undiagnosed mental health issues and how it affected their education.

Alyssa recounts her turning point at age 16 when she attended her first official class, which inspired her to pursue education. She emphasizes the importance of having supportive mentors and her desire to help children who struggle in traditional educational settings.

The episode concludes with a discussion on the importance of recognizing and addressing mental health issues in homeschooling environments, and Alyssa encourages others to share their stories to help break the silence around these topics.

TL;DR

Alyssa shares her unconventional homeschooling experience and her journey to becoming a teacher, highlighting challenges and the importance of support.

Episode

1:03:02
00:00:03
well welcome into the ex- homeschoolers
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Club I am your host Jacob goodon and
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today I'm joined by my lovely friend
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Alyssa Alyssa welcome to the show hi
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thank you Jacob for having me it has
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been uh we've been struggling with some
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technical issues uh on my end uh today
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so the fact that we're actually
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recording now is uh is good
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yeah but um Alissa I'm so stok to have
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you on the show we're going to chat
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about your homeschool Journey we're
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going to talk about what you're doing
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now and um you know I kind of wanted to
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set the scene of like we have known each
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other for I don't know I mean it's been
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a long time I feel like I say that with
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everybody but it's true we've known each
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other for a long time 14 years yeah I
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think so no it's 16 years 16 yeah
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because we met
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aana yeah it was back in 2008 so oh my
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God yeah yeah it's been a minute yeah
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that has been a minute oh my gosh so
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yeah I knew you and your sister Emily
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your older sister Emily um from Moana
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and I feel like we did like DBS stuff
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together and just like General
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homeschool things in the ohigh valley
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together so well very cool well give me
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a little bit of a breakdown before we
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get into like your homeschool Journey
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give me a breakdown of kind of like your
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family and set the scene for us of like
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siblings parents like who was
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homeschooled in the family and then for
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like how long and then we'll start
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talking about the education
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itself yeah for sure um so I have four
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sisters total um three older one younger
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and we were all kind of born in like I
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want to say like generational pairs so
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to speak because um you know my mom had
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or my parents had our first two and then
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a little over a decade later they had me
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and my sister um then a decade after
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that we had our little sister um so
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we're all very like spaced out in terms
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of age and whatnot um but yeah my dad
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was actually a first responder um till I
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was about 10 so he wasn't really around
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for most of the time which like okay
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fair and so my mom was the one
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responsible for all the the
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homeschooling technically um or if you
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could even call it that uh yeah no so
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give us a little bit of breakdown of
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that because I when we chatted before
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the show and kind of your homeschool
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journey is like very different than like
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mine like I grew up with a mom who she
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built out curriculum she bought
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curriculum we had like here's the agenda
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here's the modules and your experience
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is very different from that so talk a
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little bit about that yeah so initially
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what happened was from the time I was a
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baby till I was like five sixish um my
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mom had actually had me and my siblings
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all in background acting and so a lot of
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times um we were actually going back to
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for back and forth to La for like
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different
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shoots um so that was kind of like more
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of like a regular day for us but in
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terms of
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schooling uh my my mom was very weird in
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the in her she didn't really have like a
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set plan or anything her she had two
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main ideas one was either oh because
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you're a woman you need to stay home get
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married have babies that kind of stuff
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so like you don't need an education but
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on the other hand she was also would
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just randomly be like you need to start
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a business but wouldn't give us any sort
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of tools to actually be able to achieve
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that and so when it came to like Reading
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Writing math um our our sources of um
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learning was really just like watching
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educational shows on PBS like Between
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the Lions cyber Chi
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other like random reading and math shows
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oh and uh Magic School Bus which I want
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to say was my favorite one um it was
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either that or we would play like these
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educational computer games where again
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um they would have them set for
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different grades and so initially what
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it was is you know you start with the
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grade you're supposed to be in um but
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then my mom would like pressure us to
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like try to go for like next grade up
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but the thing was like we couldn't
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accomplished that because we did not
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have the we had not yet developed the
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abilities to be able to do some of the
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things that the next grade was going to
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do so it's very frustrating right
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because it's like math Builds on itself
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right you do you learn addition then you
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learn subtraction then multiplication
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then division that fraction and so on
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and so forth right and so when you when
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you're missing one of those building
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blocks it's like the whole thing just
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you can't even you can't do anything
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with it but that's wild I mean I had PBS
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in my repertoire to
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but but more as like I don't know a
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Supplemental Educational thing not so
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much of like this is your education um
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kind of a thing it's like bonus on top
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so that's really wild cuz I I I went to
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public school for a couple years um and
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then became a homeschool kid so I I kind
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of knew and then my mom also like I
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think she knew that she kind of needed
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to give me that structure of like hey
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here kind of a traditional classroom
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setting but but dang that is that is
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wild and was that like you were
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homeschooled all the way through yeah
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yeah I was um Emily was as well my two
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oldest sisters they were actually in
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public school till about I want say
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second or third grade and then uh my mom
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decided to pull them out um and my mom's
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claim to this was like oh the kids
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aren't happy in there and P them out but
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they weren't any happier at home either
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so it was kind of a kind of a l l
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situation at that point dang I mean
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that's that's so wild I I can't I can't
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even I can't fathom it because that's
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like just so not my experience and um
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but like so when it came to like old as
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you got older would like did there start
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to be any type of curriculum or was it
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always this kind of like just whatever
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you're interested in do some research on
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it watch some videos on it that kind of
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thing like did it ever shift um it was
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kind of a mix so as we got older it went
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from doing like oh watching the
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educational shows and watching and
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playing the computer games it went to
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here's a book do the work um but uh for
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me specifically that didn't really work
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because I am a kinetic learner um I'm
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not I'm not auditory learner I'm not a
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visual learner so like for me trying to
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learn like trying to read material and
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apply that to situations was not
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something I could do and my mom would
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just get really mad at me for not doing
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it and she'd be like you're not
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cooperating and I'm just like no I just
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I can't do it I can't do it um so there
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was that um but on top of that my mom
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was definitely definitely an undiagnosed
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schizophrenic and so she was kind of
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like one of the original um qinon people
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uh before qon like really like became
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popular in like what I want to say 2016
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2020 um I don't remember the era yeah
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more I feel like it was talked about
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more in 2020 but it was definitely
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starting to gain steam in like
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2016 yeah and so she was like one of the
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OG conspiracy theorists so rather than
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um you know like teaching about us about
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like history or science or anything she
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would have us watch these like two to
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three hour long like really click baity
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videos about how like I don't know how
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the government is like doing Satanic
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rituals to children or um like
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how space aliens are actually
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demons um so it's like that and then
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there would just be like random
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chemistry stuff and like I said it would
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be like a three-hour long video we
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weren't we weren't ever given any sort
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of like homework or like any activities
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do so we would just like fall asleep
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during the videos and then she'd get mad
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at us for falling asleep and it's just
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like what what do you expect me to do
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here like I don't understand what's
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going on because again not
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developmentally able to process some of
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the information that's coming in and on
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the other hand the information like that
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was being given
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was useless and I knew it was useless um
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to an extent um which it's
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and oftentimes I would always ask her
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I'm like why why don't you show me like
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how to do taxes or something like can I
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can I have something that I'm GNA apply
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to real life please and she was like
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this stuff is important so you don't get
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uh brainwashed or so you don't like
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become a witch or something and I was
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like that makes absolutely no sense but
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whatever it it's funny too you bring up
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the witches thing and I I was I was
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thinking about this the other day
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because in ohigh there was like there's
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and stuff and and I remember there being
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kind of yeah those conversations around
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like oh don't let your kids get close to
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people like that because they're they're
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witches and that's evil and that's
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wicked
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but wow okay
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um I'm speechless
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like because again I mean I I said it
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before it's like so vastly far from like
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my own educational experience and I
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think it's like the worst nightmare the
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worst case scenario nightmare thing when
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people think about homeschooling they
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think of like kids just being at home
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learning like whatever right just like
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you know unlimited access to the
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internet research what you want like
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play video games that kind of thing and
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pretty much everyone I've talked to up
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to now has had some structure of like
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okay here's like here's math and here's
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science and here's that and it's like
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you had none of that and so like I yeah
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I don't blame you for being frustrated
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by that and then also like like you said
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that you're a kinetic learner and so
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that's it's that's a whole another
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learning style in and of itself like I'm
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a visual learner I got to read it on the
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page to understand it I'm learning to be
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more of an audio learner but like that
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was just not me you know in in uh grade
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school and then there's also the issue
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of um because I I do like to talk about
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developmental um stuff a lot because I'm
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a teacher um or almost a teacher kind of
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teacher right now like I I teach after
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school classes I do like marine biology
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cooking stuff like that but on my way to
00:11:03
becoming a teacher um but one of the
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really one of the things I think really
00:11:08
was detrimental to me was um just the
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lack of I want to say medical
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intervention so to speak I'm not sure if
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that's the right word but essentially
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what happened was um I was non-verbal
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until I was about four and you know most
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children start Mak noises like what m
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couple months old start having like
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right they can form like short sentences
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by the time they're like two three yeah
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I had none of that and so rather than my
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parents being like Oh there's something
00:11:42
wrong why isn't she talking they're like
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oh she's just being uncooperative but
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really it was a sign that I had um I had
00:11:49
like a developmental issue and you know
00:11:52
years later I find out I'm on the
00:11:54
Spectrum which I'm like that makes a lot
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of sense um but yeah I think think
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especially one of the really and I think
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this goes for like more than just my
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family in general but I think one of the
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really important things is being is
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having some sort of like professional
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being able to kind of like monitor your
00:12:13
kids development just to make sure that
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they're where they should be
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appropriately because if they're not
00:12:18
then that can be a sign that something's
00:12:20
wrong and that's one thing that teachers
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are actually like trained to notice like
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if a kid's like falling behind on like
00:12:27
certain Concepts that they should be
00:12:28
able to get then that would be the point
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where the teacher like recommends like
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hey like maybe you should take them to a
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specialist go get an evaluation and so
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that way if there is some sort of issue
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like developmental or or mental
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emotional issue then um the kid can get
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this thing called uh an IEP which is an
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educ individualized educational plan and
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they can adjust their learning to that
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in a way that right it will really help
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the student be able learn materials you
00:13:00
know yeah well and it's it's interesting
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because I think that a lot of people
00:13:03
think that homeschool is kind of that
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right like a lot of people they
00:13:07
homeschool their kids because their kids
00:13:08
struggle in a Traditional School setting
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and they need that more individual
00:13:13
attention but also if you're educating
00:13:16
all of your kids at home and you don't
00:13:18
have an eye to pick up like okay this
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this child is learning in a different
00:13:22
way then yeah like that can totally go
00:13:25
missed unchecked and you know and then
00:13:29
yeah here we are years later and it's
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like do you even know anything you know
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like like you have zero education to a
00:13:36
degree and so that was kind of one of my
00:13:39
questions too was like so you had this
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like severe lack of education but like
00:13:44
how did you end up learning to like
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compensate for that and then like
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obviously like you're you're becoming a
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teacher now like that is that is no easy
00:13:54
task and that takes some education so
00:13:57
like what what was the pivot kind of
00:13:59
point of where you went okay like I got
00:14:01
to figure this out and nobody's helping
00:14:04
me or maybe somebody stepped in and
00:14:05
helped you but like was there a point
00:14:07
where you figured out like okay I gotta
00:14:09
I got to learn something yeah so I
00:14:12
think what really started it was when I
00:14:15
was I want to say 16 I did actually get
00:14:18
to go to my first class in anything ever
00:14:21
um like an official class with like a
00:14:24
with like a professional teacher um I it
00:14:27
was a ballet class and I just remember
00:14:29
being so scared just because I had no
00:14:32
idea how a classroom worked I don't know
00:14:34
how to behave and so there was just a
00:14:36
lot of anxiety for that and there were
00:14:39
definitely times I did get in trouble um
00:14:41
for like doing something like out of
00:14:44
order or like inappropriate because
00:14:46
again I don't I didn't know how a
00:14:49
classroom worked um so yeah I I was very
00:14:53
anxious back then um and eventually um I
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don't even know how this conversation
00:15:00
happened um but my dance teacher at the
00:15:03
time she came up to me and she was like
00:15:05
Hey like you can do great things like I
00:15:07
believe in you and I think that really
00:15:10
changed things in perspective because
00:15:11
like I don't think I ever had anyone
00:15:13
tell me that like no one had ever told
00:15:15
me like oh yeah if you want to do
00:15:17
something just put your mind to it and
00:15:18
you can do it and I was like okay um and
00:15:23
yeah that really stuck with me for years
00:15:25
and especially since I was like
00:15:29
I say 91 I had been super depressed just
00:15:31
because I knew I didn't have an
00:15:33
education and I knew that a lot of
00:15:36
people were be actively being given
00:15:39
tools to learn how to function in
00:15:41
society like Reading Writing History
00:15:43
Science all that stuff and I didn't have
00:15:45
that and so I for so many years I just
00:15:47
felt so hopeless and that led to more
00:15:52
mental health issues down the road right
00:15:54
um and so I kind of just felt like oh I
00:15:57
can't I can't go anywhere I can't
00:15:59
there's nothing I can really do I can
00:16:01
just take what comes my way and go along
00:16:04
and so I ended up uh getting a job at a
00:16:08
forced home I don't know if you've ever
00:16:10
been there in oh high but yep I got a
00:16:13
job there when I was
00:16:14
17 and so I was like slowly learning
00:16:17
like kind of how to be social with other
00:16:19
people because like although I I was
00:16:21
social sometimes it was with a like in
00:16:24
under the lens of like Christianity and
00:16:26
stuff and a bunch of other homeschoolers
00:16:29
who also don't really know how to
00:16:30
interact with the public um so like the
00:16:33
social aspect was a bit challenging um
00:16:37
but yeah anyways that happened and then
00:16:40
2020 hit uh I lost my job there I got
00:16:43
laid off and I think at that moment I
00:16:46
was like wait a second I can I can do
00:16:49
whatever I want like I don't have to be
00:16:51
stuck working this minimum AG job for
00:16:53
the West for the rest of my life um like
00:16:57
you know that was kind of the time to
00:16:59
reinvent myself um especially since like
00:17:02
my dance school closed um a lot of the
00:17:05
clubs and like Ministries I was a part
00:17:07
of like also shut down so I'm like okay
00:17:08
I can I can do whatever I want and so
00:17:12
initially I was trying to go for um a
00:17:15
GED uh but then shortly after I started
00:17:20
that I
00:17:21
actually um ended up being offered a job
00:17:25
at a dent practice and I think the only
00:17:28
reason
00:17:29
I I ended up getting that job was
00:17:31
because my then boyfriend at the time uh
00:17:35
his dentist was like looking for someone
00:17:38
to run the front office and they had
00:17:41
asked his mom and she was like oh like I
00:17:44
can't I still got a kid I'm
00:17:45
homeschooling but my son's girlfriend's
00:17:47
looking for a job and so you you know um
00:17:50
I went in um and I think if there's
00:17:53
anything that homeschooling did teach me
00:17:55
was I I learned how to like kind of
00:17:57
interact with adults
00:17:59
like more more than I did with kids
00:18:01
because like I never I never really saw
00:18:03
kids that much but I did I did see more
00:18:04
adults in general and so you know like I
00:18:06
know how like be polite you know I did
00:18:08
research like okay this is how you dress
00:18:10
for a job this is how like how you stand
00:18:12
this is how you ask questions and so I
00:18:14
was doing all my research for the job
00:18:17
ended up getting offered it and it was
00:18:21
just insane um because like with the job
00:18:25
it did pay me well enough to the point
00:18:26
where I was like oh like I can actually
00:18:30
afford like to go to Community College
00:18:32
like no issue um and so like when I was
00:18:35
looking up like oh like how to pick a
00:18:37
major and stuff um and I was doing the
00:18:39
enrolling process the one thing that I
00:18:41
did see was um a major for childhood
00:18:46
development and I was like okay like
00:18:48
this might be something I'm interested
00:18:49
in just because like something that I
00:18:52
was really passionate about was like
00:18:54
learning like what happened to me like
00:18:56
what was wrong what was right like what
00:18:58
can I do change things like for my
00:19:00
younger sister or for whatever future
00:19:03
children I have and I was like okay well
00:19:05
if I don't end up using this degree to
00:19:07
get a job I can at least use it to
00:19:10
understand myself better um and so I
00:19:12
started going for that and I really
00:19:15
relied on the help of um other people
00:19:20
who had been to college before me like
00:19:22
Elia for example um I know you had her
00:19:25
as a guest last week I think um but yeah
00:19:28
she was really help and being like okay
00:19:29
like this is how you enroll like this is
00:19:31
how you take notes this is how you uh
00:19:34
write um study questions or whatever and
00:19:38
honestly if it wasn't for her and like
00:19:41
the other people I had to support me
00:19:42
that time I would be here right now um
00:19:45
so yeah I ended up like I only started
00:19:49
doing like three classes semester
00:19:51
because I was working full-time in a
00:19:53
dental practice during covid um and so
00:19:57
it was just a major
00:19:59
it was a major life change for me and
00:20:01
then like being in the office setting
00:20:03
I'm also like learning more things like
00:20:06
oh how to like I'm in the process of
00:20:08
learning how to properly write um but
00:20:11
yeah it was so weird just to go from
00:20:13
like oh you know minimum wage job to all
00:20:16
of a sudden you're a manager at at a
00:20:19
tial practice and no one told me I was
00:20:21
going to be the manager um I only found
00:20:23
out like 10 months in well initially my
00:20:26
boss was like kind of getting annoyed at
00:20:27
me for like not doing like certain
00:20:29
things that a manager would do but he
00:20:31
didn't tell me that I
00:20:32
was um but yeah 10 months later it was
00:20:35
like oh Alissa is the uh office manager
00:20:38
and I was like that would have been
00:20:40
would have been great to tell me when
00:20:41
you were hiring me you know I would have
00:20:44
reconsidered if I was able to do this or
00:20:46
not but oh well I guess yeah you said
00:20:48
something in there that I think you said
00:20:51
two two things that really stuck out to
00:20:52
me one you had a ballet teacher that
00:20:54
told you like you are capable of great
00:20:57
things yeah which is
00:20:59
I think one of the most powerful things
00:21:01
that any kid can hear like I had parents
00:21:03
who who told me that most of my
00:21:05
childhood and grandparents and and
00:21:07
people surrounding me who kind of like
00:21:09
told me those things and even to this
00:21:11
day like people call me and if they say
00:21:13
like like if my dad tells me like I'm
00:21:14
proud of you on the phone I'm like oh my
00:21:16
God then I like get off the phone and
00:21:18
cry um kind of a thing and but like so
00:21:22
you said that which I think is super
00:21:25
impactful because yes it kind of shifted
00:21:27
some things for you
00:21:29
and then two you said that you wanted to
00:21:32
you wanted to Center your education on
00:21:34
like that early childhood development
00:21:35
stages because you wanted to figure out
00:21:36
what like was had gone on with you and I
00:21:39
think that's really cool
00:21:41
because when like I even know for myself
00:21:45
now of like when I run into issues it's
00:21:47
like that is where I put my effort into
00:21:50
learning is like what am I struggling
00:21:52
with okay let me go get answers right
00:21:55
let me listen to podcast read books take
00:21:57
a class do whatever I have to do to like
00:21:59
figure this out for myself because then
00:22:02
once you have that knowledge well
00:22:04
there's no reason you can't help
00:22:05
somebody else and you wanted to help
00:22:06
your little sister and figure out like
00:22:09
okay was there is there something wrong
00:22:11
with me you know not that it's wrong but
00:22:13
just like what is going on why why am I
00:22:16
the way I am so those two things really
00:22:19
stuck out to me um and uh that's insane
00:22:24
and I'm glad that I'm glad that
00:22:26
things have played out in a way
00:22:29
that I I guess you could say has more of
00:22:31
a happy ending um and I hope you feel
00:22:35
that way um yeah okay well that's good
00:22:38
um because yeah I
00:22:41
think man I can't I I still can't get
00:22:44
over like the lack of Education thing I
00:22:47
think is just is so hard again to Fathom
00:22:50
because it's like not my experience
00:22:52
whatsoever and then to be like okay I
00:22:54
got to go GED I got to take these
00:22:57
classes and things like that is is
00:22:59
insane but so so now so now you're
00:23:04
currently in college you're finish
00:23:05
you're finishing up College you're going
00:23:06
to be a teacher do you have a specific
00:23:08
area that you're going to focus in or
00:23:10
are you going to be just kind of like
00:23:11
primary grade school
00:23:14
teacher I really want to have my
00:23:16
concentration in or I want to get my
00:23:19
masters in um biology education um just
00:23:23
because for me like like I said uh one
00:23:25
of the one of my sources of Education
00:23:28
was watching Magic School Bus and you
00:23:30
know I loved watching like oh how does
00:23:34
mitosis work or how does light
00:23:36
refraction work and I just thought that
00:23:38
stuff was so cool and then I think the
00:23:41
thing that really put the nail in the
00:23:43
coffin um was when I was really young I
00:23:47
want to say I was five or something uh
00:23:49
my family decided to take a trip um to
00:23:52
go see the body World Expedition and I I
00:23:55
don't know if you ever got the chance to
00:23:57
like go to one of those when you were
00:23:58
younger I don't think so yeah so
00:24:00
basically what it is is they they have
00:24:03
real human
00:24:04
cabers um and they're set in display so
00:24:08
you can see like the nervous system you
00:24:09
can see different organs and stuff and I
00:24:11
remember that in one of the displays
00:24:14
there was like this glass box and it had
00:24:16
a brain in it um and there was a glove
00:24:19
that was attached to the box so you
00:24:21
could like pick up the brain and like
00:24:22
look at it and peel it around and I just
00:24:24
remember doing that I was so excited I'm
00:24:27
like oh my gosh
00:24:30
a um I think that got me overall just
00:24:34
like really excited to learn about just
00:24:38
how things work in the natural world
00:24:40
especially um and I think each person
00:24:44
who has been homeschooled can kind of
00:24:46
like say like oh they had like a moment
00:24:48
from like a field trip or a class or
00:24:51
something that really impacted them to
00:24:53
pursue a certain career or a certain
00:24:56
subject um and so from that was science
00:24:59
um and like I said like I currently am
00:25:02
an after school teacher for a private
00:25:04
company um and I did uh get the chance
00:25:07
to like kind of like assist teach for a
00:25:10
marine biology class for middle school
00:25:13
and it was just so fun watching kids get
00:25:16
so excited about like you know
00:25:18
dissecting a dog fish shark or a squid
00:25:21
and you know they're feeling around the
00:25:23
different parts they looking at it and
00:25:25
um in the microscope and like looking at
00:25:28
different cells and stuff and I think
00:25:30
that for me the thing that made me so
00:25:33
happy is just like watching those kids
00:25:35
get excited about learning right um yeah
00:25:39
and like for me like when I was younger
00:25:41
um I actually mentioned this in our call
00:25:43
yesterday like you know you'd have like
00:25:45
normal kids dream of like oh they want
00:25:47
to be a firefighter astronaut but for me
00:25:50
my dream was like I want to go take a
00:25:52
math quiz I want to I want to sit in a
00:25:55
classroom or eat at a cafeteria stuff
00:25:58
like that um so I think all of that was
00:26:01
just kind of like
00:26:03
really um like really a buildup for kind
00:26:07
of like me pursuing my career in
00:26:09
education and what not so yeah yeah no I
00:26:12
was gonna say I was gonna bring that up
00:26:13
because yeah you did mention that
00:26:14
yesterday of like yeah dreaming of yeah
00:26:17
going to school and being like a quote
00:26:19
unquote normal kid right um but but yeah
00:26:24
it does it is interesting because I do
00:26:26
think that there there are those moments
00:26:27
that like shape us right of like I know
00:26:30
for me going to Tim Franc music studio
00:26:33
and playing guitar and learning drums
00:26:36
and learning how like all the all the
00:26:38
music equipment worked like that shaped
00:26:39
a lot of what I wanted to do in working
00:26:41
in the entertainment industry and um and
00:26:45
so yeah I definitely I mean you could
00:26:47
see it like if you if you listen to any
00:26:50
of the episodes and you catch up with
00:26:51
the H school friends you start to see
00:26:54
certain things where you go this really
00:26:56
makes sense why this person pursued this
00:26:57
because like maybe you remember the
00:27:00
reason like remember them being really
00:27:01
into that or or whatever but that's so
00:27:04
cool I mean I think you're gonna make a
00:27:06
great teacher first of all thank
00:27:09
you and and the fact that you have as
00:27:13
much joy learning as you see the kids
00:27:16
like that's inspiring right is like I
00:27:18
think that kids get excited to learn
00:27:20
things when they have role models who
00:27:22
are also very excited to like learn new
00:27:25
things with them and teach them things
00:27:27
right and uh and biolog is definitely
00:27:29
interesting um it's uh I remember
00:27:33
dissecting stuff in school and I was
00:27:35
more grossed out by it I think
00:27:37
than intrigued but it is cool to like
00:27:41
learn obviously like okay this is a
00:27:42
heart ties into this does this you know
00:27:44
all these different things um is crazy
00:27:47
but man yeah I've only seen uh you
00:27:50
brought up the human cadav thing I've
00:27:52
only ever seen one human cadav it was
00:27:54
when I was in college we had a cadaver
00:27:56
lab so one time hated the smell hated
00:28:00
like being in the room with it felt
00:28:01
really disgusting but I mean Kudos few
00:28:04
for being into it yeah I I honestly
00:28:08
think that um there was kind of like a
00:28:12
multitude of stuff that like led to me
00:28:14
being okay with what some people would
00:28:17
consider more grory or disturbing like
00:28:19
like for example like I was talking
00:28:21
about how you know like me and my
00:28:22
siblings in background acting and so
00:28:25
there were definitely like shows that we
00:28:27
would go on that did did involve some
00:28:28
violence like um like I remember there
00:28:32
was this one show I think it was like
00:28:34
five or whatever but the scene was
00:28:36
basically like this weird like cop chase
00:28:39
or
00:28:40
something and what it was supposed to
00:28:43
look like was I got ran over by a truck
00:28:46
okay there was like that or like I
00:28:48
remember like having to go to um or
00:28:52
having to go to like a Ware prop
00:28:54
Warehouse to make a mold of my foot
00:28:57
because they're like oh yeah we need a
00:28:59
amputated foot for this scene or like
00:29:02
watching scenes of like my older sister
00:29:04
covered in blood because she was shot in
00:29:06
a driveby or she like died in an
00:29:08
overheated car so like stuff like that
00:29:12
um and also like kind of the horror
00:29:13
drama or to was very normalized to us
00:29:15
just because we like okay we know like
00:29:17
how this stuff works like we've lived in
00:29:18
it so it's not it's not really
00:29:20
disturbing to us but also um with my dad
00:29:24
being a first responder uh he would tell
00:29:26
us some pretty graphic stories at the
00:29:28
dinner table um about he was like oh
00:29:31
yeah you know and that person died today
00:29:33
and I'm like okay I'm just trying to
00:29:36
enjoy my plate of spaghetti uh but okay
00:29:40
so I think that made like the Gory stuff
00:29:45
or like what people think is gross like
00:29:47
pretty interesting to me just because
00:29:48
like I said I grew up around it um and
00:29:52
yeah I mean there there's like some
00:29:54
stuff where like I said my mom would
00:29:56
like force me to watch videos is about
00:29:59
like people like practicing like Satanic
00:30:02
rituals um so I wasn't really
00:30:07
perence and more at this point well I
00:30:09
mean I am deserved now uh but yeah just
00:30:13
stuff like that was so normalized in our
00:30:15
house and so for me to now like kind of
00:30:19
be pursuing like more spy stuff like oh
00:30:21
like how did these organs work and how
00:30:23
does this work um especially having see
00:30:26
like multiple like gory itions of those
00:30:29
things not being in your body um I think
00:30:31
that all just kind of that in like oh
00:30:34
like what Happ if that part's missing or
00:30:37
how would this thing be affected you
00:30:39
know yeah I feel like there was a lot of
00:30:44
good that
00:30:46
did um help me to like you know want to
00:30:50
be interested in science but there was
00:30:51
also a lot of bad too right and I think
00:30:54
recognizing that is important like for
00:30:56
example like I don't think I ever have
00:30:58
been shown videos of like I don't know
00:31:01
people getting sacrificed in rituals
00:31:04
that wasn't great or being told about
00:31:07
crappy stories from like being a first
00:31:10
respaw I shouldn't have told that stuff
00:31:12
you know like I wasn't ready but um
00:31:15
fortunately SL unfortunately it did kind
00:31:17
of shape me into who I am today and like
00:31:20
I can't can't do anything about what
00:31:22
happened but what I can do is I can
00:31:25
choose
00:31:26
to choose to let it impact my life in
00:31:30
either a good way or a bad way and
00:31:32
I'm I'm choosing to let it impact me in
00:31:35
a good you know yeah no and that's good
00:31:38
to hear and even just like catching up
00:31:40
with you and and chatting with you I can
00:31:42
I can feel that in your like personality
00:31:45
is like you you exhibit like hope and
00:31:49
joy and happiness um and those are all
00:31:52
things that I think are are emotions and
00:31:56
feelings that like we get to Cho
00:31:58
to experience um like you said and so um
00:32:02
so keep at it um please and I know that
00:32:05
you got me in your corner um if you need
00:32:08
anything um always but
00:32:11
um I think you know I I I tend to ask
00:32:15
people the kind of the question of like
00:32:17
oh well if someone came to you and they
00:32:18
wanted to homeschool their kid like you
00:32:21
know would you would you say yeah would
00:32:23
you recommend that for people I think I
00:32:25
probably kind of already know your your
00:32:28
response to this I can expand on it if
00:32:30
you want yeah but I I think in more of a
00:32:34
broad sense is like for parents who do
00:32:38
want to be involved in their kids
00:32:39
education
00:32:40
like what do you think are things that
00:32:44
parents should be on the lookout for and
00:32:47
like with a kid who maybe is on the
00:32:49
Spectrum and things like that as well of
00:32:52
like hey you know we need to get this
00:32:55
kid some help maybe we don't have the
00:32:56
tools but tools are out out there if you
00:32:58
have anything in that vein I would I
00:33:00
would love to hear about it yeah for
00:33:03
sure um
00:33:04
so I know not all parents might be able
00:33:07
to do this but like take a human
00:33:09
development class take a child
00:33:10
development class like learn what's
00:33:12
normal what's not normal so that way if
00:33:14
you see an
00:33:16
issue um going on with your child then
00:33:19
you can properly get them the help that
00:33:21
they need and also like just have
00:33:23
realistic expectations like don't try to
00:33:26
force your kid to become like a
00:33:28
piano or pianist at like four okay like
00:33:32
let let them develop as they should um
00:33:37
but yeah there there is however um I I
00:33:41
want to say especially in like younger
00:33:42
ages where really just um being able to
00:33:47
explore like the world around you is
00:33:49
really helpful um I know there are some
00:33:51
like TK Schools that do that and it's
00:33:54
called um like using the monory method
00:33:58
um which is just like oh children are
00:34:00
designed to want to learn about the
00:34:02
world around them so you know they do
00:34:04
that by you know doing playing little
00:34:07
games or just like touching stuff
00:34:09
tasting right all that so I think I
00:34:12
think especially like in the early years
00:34:14
like yeah like let them explore like
00:34:16
give them uh different things to explore
00:34:19
and then as they get older um just like
00:34:23
be aware of what's appropriate for them
00:34:26
to learn at that age and if there is a
00:34:29
parent that wants to H school and like
00:34:30
they do know like okay here's what I
00:34:32
should look for um I would also
00:34:34
recommend looking at um educational
00:34:37
standards where I don't know if you ever
00:34:39
heard of them but um specifically in
00:34:42
California they do have um like
00:34:45
standards for Learning and so you can
00:34:47
look at like oh what should a kid at
00:34:49
seven be able to do with math okay they
00:34:52
should be able to do a b and c um so I
00:34:55
think that is really important
00:34:58
like I said just do your research um and
00:35:01
I honestly don't necessarily
00:35:03
blame uh some parents for wanting to
00:35:06
homeschool their kids like for example
00:35:08
you see gun violence in schools and you
00:35:11
know I'm just like hey if you're worried
00:35:13
about that I totally get it like that's
00:35:14
something like I'm scared of sometimes
00:35:16
like when I go to work I'm just like oh
00:35:17
am I gonna am I gonna get shot today who
00:35:20
knows I right really hope not but um
00:35:24
it's an unfortunate thing that we are
00:35:26
currently dealing with um um in this
00:35:29
moment of History not fun but yeah uh
00:35:32
yeah like I said just
00:35:35
really instead of making your child into
00:35:40
who you want them to be you should
00:35:42
really be more focused on giving them to
00:35:45
giving them the tools to become the
00:35:47
person that they want to be because I
00:35:48
think so many parents or homeschool
00:35:50
parents especially like have like a set
00:35:52
of expectations like oh yeah my kid's
00:35:55
going to be a doctor uh a lawyer or
00:35:58
they're gonna be a pastor or something
00:36:01
but I think that putting expectations on
00:36:04
a child is very limiting to them and you
00:36:07
know it can also create feelings of
00:36:10
like I don't know disappointment I guess
00:36:12
you could say where the child could feel
00:36:15
like oh I'm not living up to my parents
00:36:17
expectations like it's my fault but in
00:36:19
reality if you if the only expectation
00:36:22
you should put on child is that or maybe
00:36:26
not expectation but like the only thing
00:36:28
you should be worried about is like
00:36:30
again giving them the tools to
00:36:32
learn um and give them
00:36:36
the sorry I'm likeing right now um I get
00:36:39
what you're I get what you're saying
00:36:40
though it's kind of like give them the
00:36:42
expectation is like whether it's an
00:36:44
expectation or not is kind of like give
00:36:46
your kid like the ability and the skills
00:36:49
necessary to like go be to live a happy
00:36:52
and fulfilling life really is like what
00:36:54
it is
00:36:55
exactly and you know I I've definitely
00:36:58
seen some families who have done a great
00:37:00
job at that uh like I remember I don't
00:37:03
know if you heard about it at the time
00:37:04
it happened but there's like that one
00:37:06
guy in The Homeschool Community who got
00:37:08
like a perfect sat scor and he was like
00:37:10
a little celebrity for a
00:37:12
minute that was not
00:37:16
me yeah I think this was back in like
00:37:19
2015 16 or whatever I don't remember but
00:37:22
yeah I I definitely think that some
00:37:23
parents did do a really good job of
00:37:26
homeschooling their kids like could of
00:37:28
those um my parents or my parent did not
00:37:32
are the one that was responsible for the
00:37:34
homeschooling right um so I really think
00:37:37
it also kind of comes down to to
00:37:40
researching like you know what's needed
00:37:43
um and I think some of it the reason
00:37:47
some people have not great homeschooling
00:37:49
experiences is partially because of the
00:37:51
laws that in place for homeschooling
00:37:53
because I think in our district like the
00:37:55
reason uh my my mom got away with like
00:37:58
not doing anything in terms of like our
00:38:00
education was because there was never
00:38:02
anyone like checking in on us there we
00:38:06
were never like forced to go to do like
00:38:08
any state testing or anything um so
00:38:11
literally she would just like fill out
00:38:12
the paperwork as a private school put in
00:38:14
the grades that she wanted send it off
00:38:16
right whatever it's a done deal and I
00:38:18
think when that happens that can
00:38:21
really hide a lot of
00:38:25
um I would say hide a lot of the needs
00:38:27
that children actually have been school
00:38:30
because you don't have anyone checking
00:38:32
in on them um because you're kind of
00:38:36
trusting the parent that oh yeah the
00:38:38
kids's fine in doing in whatever subject
00:38:42
they're doing but the reality is they're
00:38:44
not um and yeah I think that's just like
00:38:48
a flaw in like The Homeschool laws and
00:38:50
whatnot so yeah no and I was going to
00:38:53
add cuz like my mom definitely followed
00:38:55
a lot stricter to like the educational
00:38:58
standards of California and I know that
00:39:02
she was very involved um in or not very
00:39:06
involved but she was like very tied into
00:39:08
like people from Chia which so c h EA
00:39:11
and chia was like I I want to say it was
00:39:14
like Christian Home Educators of
00:39:15
Association or something like that but
00:39:17
basically they they would hold a
00:39:19
conference every year with um you could
00:39:22
go by curriculum you could take classes
00:39:24
like she was very much aware of the like
00:39:27
her biggest goal um for for me and my
00:39:31
sister was like I want them to if they
00:39:33
want to go to college I want them to be
00:39:35
able to go to college no problems and so
00:39:38
so we did standardized testing and we
00:39:40
you know followed all those protocols
00:39:42
and had transcripts and had all of that
00:39:43
kind of stuff and had everything
00:39:44
documented I think it wasn't until like
00:39:47
I don't know a couple years ago maybe
00:39:48
that they like shredded all the
00:39:49
documents finally but it was like tubs
00:39:51
and tubs of documents um all of our
00:39:54
school work graded kind of a thing that
00:39:56
she kept for years
00:39:58
um at least all the way throughout me
00:39:59
being in college um you know as evidence
00:40:03
right to say he did this kind of a thing
00:40:06
and um you know I'm sure it's you can
00:40:09
scan stuff now it's not you don't gotta
00:40:11
keep tubs and tubs of stuff but um but
00:40:15
yeah I think it definitely it helped her
00:40:18
because it gave her those those
00:40:19
guidelines of like hey my kid needs
00:40:21
these things and something I wanted to
00:40:24
bring up too was that the fact of like
00:40:29
you know there's
00:40:31
there's there's a thing that people say
00:40:33
of like if you see something say
00:40:34
something and I think that goes also
00:40:37
within the homeschool Community was
00:40:38
there was a lot of this kind of like on
00:40:41
the outside everyone kind of like oh we
00:40:42
all believe the same thing and
00:40:44
everyone's home life is is good and
00:40:45
glamorous and like you know it looks
00:40:47
good everyone looks good and on the
00:40:49
inside people were like in insane
00:40:52
situations and they had their own issues
00:40:54
and and um that type of thing and so
00:40:57
it's also the responsibility of those
00:40:59
people who are in your community to like
00:41:02
if they see that in the armor and
00:41:04
they get a glimpse inside of it say
00:41:06
something you got to bring it up and we
00:41:09
need to do better for kids right we need
00:41:11
to like protect them and make sure
00:41:14
they're in good safe environments where
00:41:16
they're getting the education that they
00:41:18
deserve and and need so I just wanted to
00:41:21
bring that up as well yeah yeah for sure
00:41:24
um yeah and that was also something I
00:41:26
want to talk about because I think
00:41:29
that especially with like religious
00:41:32
homeschool families like I think you can
00:41:34
agree with me on this that like the
00:41:36
majority of people that were
00:41:38
homeschooled were also very religious um
00:41:41
and a lot of them you know they
00:41:42
homeschooled for religious reasons but
00:41:45
um I think that can get dangerous to an
00:41:49
extent because like for me I was raised
00:41:51
in a cult um where they also like were
00:41:55
raised with like very similar beliefs
00:41:57
like oh women don't go school like their
00:41:58
job's to be a wife and mother while men
00:42:01
are supposed to be
00:42:03
protectors and yeah I I also think that
00:42:08
like I I have this one very specific
00:42:11
memory of like when I was younger I
00:42:12
think I was in Sunday school or like
00:42:15
some sort of like kids Bible group and
00:42:17
mind you I wasn't allowed to go anywhere
00:42:20
that didn't have the label of Christian
00:42:23
Jesus or Bible on it cuz then it was
00:42:25
consider considered world and you didn't
00:42:27
want to get
00:42:29
um brainwashed by the world so it was
00:42:32
very limited on to like who had access
00:42:34
to me or who I had access to and so some
00:42:39
but anyways back to the memory um I
00:42:42
remember
00:42:44
the uh the teacher at the time was like
00:42:47
saying something about
00:42:49
like I I don't remember if it was like
00:42:51
about your parents loving you or
00:42:53
whatever but I just like my little
00:42:56
autistic self didn't realize that this
00:42:58
was not a normal thing to say but I was
00:43:01
like said I love you in like five years
00:43:05
and at that point they're just like oh
00:43:08
okay moving on rather than recognizing
00:43:11
like oh you know because like here's the
00:43:13
thing um I think that like whenever we
00:43:16
had heard of other uh homeschool
00:43:19
children like bringing up like kind of
00:43:21
dark stuff like that the the thing we
00:43:23
were Tau were like oh they're just lying
00:43:25
for attention or whatever but it's just
00:43:27
like like kids don't lie about their
00:43:30
parents not loving them because that's a
00:43:31
not normal thing to say um yeah and so
00:43:36
it was kind of like when I did try to
00:43:37
bring up like some issues of stuff going
00:43:39
on my house people would just be like oh
00:43:41
honor your father and mother and not
00:43:43
recognize like oh hey you know maybe
00:43:47
there's something wrong here um yeah
00:43:50
yeah and so I think that religion and
00:43:53
homeschooling can get very dangerous
00:43:55
very quick um because like I said I was
00:43:58
raised in C um and there was also yeah
00:44:03
it it was just not good not good at all
00:44:06
um especially since I yeah I knew of
00:44:08
other kids who were
00:44:11
like who were I mean I don't know if I
00:44:13
like need to put trigger warning for
00:44:14
this or anything but there were like
00:44:17
multiple kids who were also homeschooled
00:44:20
um who I didn't find out until like a
00:44:22
bit later that they were like getting
00:44:24
abused by their parents like some of
00:44:26
them sexually some of physically or
00:44:28
verbally mentally like it's all it was
00:44:30
terrible but like again nobody was doing
00:44:33
anything about it because there was this
00:44:34
front of like one you're not allowed to
00:44:36
like make your family look bad like
00:44:38
you're not allowed to share
00:44:40
anything um and two if you say something
00:44:43
about your parents doing something to
00:44:44
you then you're lying because you need
00:44:47
to honor your father and mother and if
00:44:49
they're doing something to you you
00:44:50
probably deserved it which I think
00:44:52
really kept the cycle of abuse going on
00:44:54
um in a lot of the home families that I
00:44:58
knew yeah yeah no
00:45:02
I it's hard cuz I I agree with you I
00:45:05
mean I think that definitely that shadow
00:45:08
of like yeah don't like you know we're
00:45:10
putting on a front right it's like my
00:45:13
family it it happened multiple time you
00:45:14
know fighting all the way to church you
00:45:16
get out of car at church and the smiles
00:45:18
go on and everybody everything's perfect
00:45:20
everything's great right um and it's
00:45:25
it's definitely hard because how can
00:45:28
you how do you know right and then yeah
00:45:31
and also if you're being told that like
00:45:33
you know if a kid is saying this one
00:45:34
thing that like they're lying for
00:45:37
attention right and it's like that's
00:45:39
that's a dangerous slippy slippery slope
00:45:42
um yeah to to fall down and I think yeah
00:45:46
I definitely think that people need to
00:45:49
step up um within the church and I think
00:45:52
there's a large reason why so many
00:45:54
people have stepped away because
00:45:57
when when you read when you read the
00:45:59
Bible which like I don't know about you
00:46:01
I mean I was highly encouraged read the
00:46:03
Bible every day you know study study the
00:46:06
stories and those types of things and
00:46:08
the people and the places and the and
00:46:09
the things that happened in the Bible
00:46:10
that I read about I was I didn't always
00:46:14
see it lived out and so I think that
00:46:17
that informed my decision to walk away
00:46:20
from from religion because I was just I
00:46:22
was like I don't see it and you can you
00:46:25
can put the guys on it that's like well
00:46:26
it's human air and it's like okay yeah
00:46:28
but there's also no calling out on these
00:46:31
things that are happening right you know
00:46:33
a pastor molesting a child or you know
00:46:36
cheating on his wife and running away
00:46:37
with the secretary or you know kids
00:46:39
getting hurt by their parents you know
00:46:41
it's like there's nothing being done
00:46:44
aside from that person then needing to
00:46:46
be like ask for forgiveness right pray
00:46:48
for forgiveness and you know and yeah
00:46:50
then they're all good and it's like but
00:46:53
where's the accountability right yeah
00:46:55
doesn't work where is it
00:46:57
yeah and I think that Christians really
00:47:00
need to step up and show that like they
00:47:02
actually do want to take a stand against
00:47:04
some of the evil and some of the
00:47:05
wickedness that takes place within in
00:47:08
religion and that is like is just hidden
00:47:11
you know and so it it it's hard because
00:47:15
like you know
00:47:17
and there's no it's not an easy fix I
00:47:21
guess is the way is the way to put it
00:47:22
and also when you're talking about
00:47:24
people inside of a more like Behavior
00:47:28
it's very hard to break that right um
00:47:32
and you know and that's why you watch if
00:47:35
you watch a documentary about
00:47:37
scientology
00:47:39
or or Jonestown or Mormonism or whatever
00:47:42
you go like why don't these people leave
00:47:44
like they hate their life why don't they
00:47:45
just leave and it's like there's it's
00:47:48
that brainwashing thing that so many
00:47:50
parents were scared of us experiencing
00:47:52
if we went to anything that wasn't
00:47:54
Church involved or things like that and
00:47:56
and this this is again not to say that
00:47:59
every parent was this way but there
00:48:01
there is a large chunk of people who
00:48:03
homeschool their kids for very religious
00:48:05
reasons and it can tend to lean more
00:48:07
into like that cult-like
00:48:09
behavior and it's scary you know um and
00:48:12
so I think having those things in place
00:48:14
like you said having those the ability
00:48:17
to have people check up on kids uh and
00:48:21
families and make sure that the proper
00:48:23
things are happening and I don't know
00:48:25
what that looks like um
00:48:27
CS yeah but you know
00:48:32
it's that's important and I think we
00:48:34
need to push more and more for things
00:48:36
like that so yeah for sure and like I
00:48:39
remember specifically um I think this
00:48:42
was around the time that I realized that
00:48:44
there was starting to be a pattern but
00:48:46
um so fun fact for people listening out
00:48:49
there I was also part of the M team that
00:48:52
Jacob mentions almost what every week
00:48:55
yourself yeah
00:48:57
yeah I if I don't bring up mes it's the
00:48:59
new drinking game it's the X hom
00:49:00
schoolers drinking game if I bring up
00:49:02
mes if I bring up swing dance um and if
00:49:05
I tell the story of going to Disneyland
00:49:07
and doing school work at Disneyland um
00:49:09
take a drink um and if you don't drink
00:49:11
take a swig of water um but yes the mind
00:49:15
we were not on the team at the same time
00:49:17
but yeah same troop just different times
00:49:21
I think the only time we were ever on at
00:49:23
the same time was like I was a Christmas
00:49:25
mime while you were like still on the
00:49:27
team and then by the time I joined time
00:49:30
you were gone um but yeah so when I was
00:49:35
16 I became like one of the MIM leaders
00:49:38
and for like for those of you don't know
00:49:39
like being in the position of MIM leader
00:49:41
kind of meant like oh not only were you
00:49:43
in charge of like directing these little
00:49:45
skits or but you were also like
00:49:48
considered a spiritual leader in a way
00:49:51
which looking back that was really weird
00:49:53
because like why are these teenagers
00:49:55
being forced to like be mentors to these
00:49:58
Junior highers like that's kind of weird
00:50:00
if you think about it because teenagers
00:50:02
still aren't fully developed but aside
00:50:04
from that um yeah they had asked me to
00:50:08
share like my testimony or whatever and
00:50:11
I think what they did not realized the
00:50:13
cat of worms they were opening up at
00:50:14
that point um because people were like
00:50:16
oh I was sad but then I found God but
00:50:19
mine was like oh yeah I witnessed
00:50:21
domestic abuse and I struggled with
00:50:25
trying to un alive myself multiple
00:50:28
times um but yeah I remember at one
00:50:31
point like when I was sharing my story I
00:50:33
just like broke down crying like
00:50:36
inconsolably and like I ended up having
00:50:38
like a bunch of 12-year-olds like come
00:50:40
up and just like give me a hug
00:50:43
and I eventually like finished with my
00:50:45
story and then like after that I had so
00:50:48
many of those Minds like come up to me
00:50:50
and tell me like yeah like I'm also
00:50:53
struggling with depression or like yeah
00:50:55
I'm also I was also abused by my parents
00:50:58
and I think that uh really set in motion
00:51:03
two things really um one it really set
00:51:06
up my uh desire to help children in need
00:51:09
which was also another big reason as to
00:51:11
why I chose to become a teacher uh but
00:51:13
it also really made me realize like oh
00:51:16
like I'm not out like there there's a
00:51:19
connection between all of us like what
00:51:21
is it and what was that connection we
00:51:24
were all homeschooled and we were all in
00:51:26
cult so yeah
00:51:29
I like I said it it
00:51:32
can it it was a lot to process at the
00:51:35
time and it still is yeah and that's the
00:51:38
thing I think it's one of those things
00:51:40
where when you begin to unpack it you
00:51:43
find there's more and more right and and
00:51:46
it's it's a never ending stream of
00:51:48
everything right
00:51:50
and for those people who are no longer
00:51:54
religious uh like Alyssa and I you know
00:51:57
it's like just know there are other
00:51:59
people out here like you who you know we
00:52:01
hear you we see you um and uh I know for
00:52:05
me don't be afraid to reach out to me
00:52:06
I'm happy to always talk about it um
00:52:09
because it's it can feel very isolating
00:52:13
when it's like your whole world is
00:52:15
wrapped up in this thing and um and it
00:52:17
can feel very scary because like are you
00:52:19
going to lose everything you you've ever
00:52:22
known um and yeah and I think
00:52:27
to your point I think I I left the mime
00:52:30
troop for a couple
00:52:31
reasons the the basic reasons the
00:52:33
reasons I always told people was like uh
00:52:35
I'm just busy and like I'm trying to do
00:52:37
more with school and I was trying to
00:52:39
like do college and high school at the
00:52:41
same time and stuff like that but on a
00:52:42
deeper level I had seen some of that
00:52:46
like you're having high school kids
00:52:48
Mentor Junior High kids which I don't
00:52:50
think is a terrible thing but from a
00:52:52
spiritual
00:52:53
perspective It's tricky because we're
00:52:56
all still learning and so when you're 14
00:52:59
When You're 15 16 years old like you're
00:53:02
not a pastor you haven't gone to
00:53:04
Seminary you you read the Bible maybe
00:53:07
once um and all of a sudden you're
00:53:10
expected to kind of like spiritually
00:53:12
Mentor 12-year-olds and that's like yeah
00:53:15
that's that's a lot to put on somebody
00:53:17
um and it can definitely be really
00:53:19
conflicting and confusing and that was
00:53:21
like that was a thing that I was like I
00:53:24
don't want to do that that was not yeah
00:53:26
not for me no I also think that the
00:53:29
thing that was really concerning at the
00:53:31
time was you know rather than like I
00:53:34
don't know someone calling the police or
00:53:36
something calling authorities they were
00:53:39
like we should have you share your
00:53:41
testimony at other high schools and
00:53:43
middle schools and I was like okay um
00:53:47
yeah and also like again like not like
00:53:52
not none of the adults like actually
00:53:53
checked in on me or my family they're
00:53:56
just like I'm going to send you
00:53:57
scripture or I remember someone
00:54:00
literally had the audacity to come up to
00:54:01
me and they were like I knew a girl who
00:54:04
self hared I was like okay and and she's
00:54:08
like that's it I was like okay why are
00:54:10
you telling me this what what the
00:54:13
hell like yeah I think people didn't
00:54:15
really did not understand how to like
00:54:18
actively
00:54:20
approach uh people who were dealing with
00:54:22
mental health they're just like okay but
00:54:24
Jesus so it's fine right and I think
00:54:26
that goes I I know I I did an episode
00:54:29
recently and I talked about more about
00:54:32
like Purity culture and stuff which is a
00:54:33
whole another can of worms but it kind
00:54:35
of goes into this there's a lack of
00:54:37
Education when it comes to sex in in
00:54:40
church there's also a lack of
00:54:42
understanding around mental health when
00:54:43
it comes to church and I think a lot of
00:54:45
it has to do with they're very great
00:54:47
areas um and a lot of people like to
00:54:50
look at religion as like black and white
00:54:52
right there's good and evil and there's
00:54:54
nothing in between and um and I think
00:54:57
mental health Falls in that great area
00:54:59
where it's
00:55:00
like some people view it as like well
00:55:04
that's demons living inside of you right
00:55:06
and we need to cast them out right which
00:55:07
is like um uh to put it frankly
00:55:12
and you know and then there's other
00:55:14
people who actually recognize that there
00:55:15
is more to it than that um and then
00:55:18
there are the people in the middle who
00:55:19
just they recognize that there's more to
00:55:21
it but they don't know what to do about
00:55:22
it right and maybe they don't have time
00:55:24
yeah or the energy to to pour into that
00:55:28
and I think that the more that we can
00:55:30
educate people to understand that like
00:55:32
mental health struggles are very real
00:55:34
right um Suicidal Thoughts very real
00:55:36
depression anxiety all that Stu very
00:55:39
very real
00:55:42
um again if you see something say
00:55:44
something right or I was gonna say and I
00:55:46
think to just amately be like oh it's a
00:55:49
spiritual attack or oh it's demons
00:55:53
is say it's honestly like
00:55:56
you're not like there are so many things
00:56:00
that can impact a person's mental health
00:56:02
it could be economic status it could be
00:56:04
family life it could be relationships it
00:56:07
or just just straight chemicals in your
00:56:10
brain misfiring right like I remember I
00:56:12
had this situation a couple months ago
00:56:15
where for context um I have a condition
00:56:18
called uh pnes which is stands for
00:56:21
psychogenic non-epileptic seizures where
00:56:24
basically they're stress and due
00:56:25
seizures and so if I get too stressed
00:56:27
out I will start
00:56:28
seizing but yeah someone was like I
00:56:32
don't want to get to details of
00:56:34
necessarily what happened but someone
00:56:36
was saying something to me while I was
00:56:38
already really stressed out and so I
00:56:41
started having a seizure and their
00:56:43
immediate reaction was she's having a
00:56:45
spiritual reaction to what I'm saying
00:56:48
and I'm just like can you shut up like H
00:56:50
me my beds or something like yeah dude
00:56:53
like it's it there's so much ignorance
00:56:56
that comes with putting um linking
00:56:59
spirituality directly to uh mental
00:57:03
health while I do want to just
00:57:05
acknowledge like yeah I I mean although
00:57:07
I am not religious I do believe that
00:57:09
there are there the metap the
00:57:12
metaphysical exist um I will recognize
00:57:16
that and there are times where you know
00:57:18
spiritual stuff can get in and out uh
00:57:20
how just to label everything as a demon
00:57:24
and being like oh we'll just pray it
00:57:25
away like you're denying someone the
00:57:27
chance to get the help they need whether
00:57:29
it be therapy or medication
00:57:31
or I
00:57:33
literally literally anything else um so
00:57:38
yeah I just want to put that put that
00:57:39
out there yeah no I yeah I agree with
00:57:43
you um on that as well and again I think
00:57:47
it it comes down to education education
00:57:50
education right it's like the more the
00:57:52
more things the more things are talked
00:57:54
about and people are ask questions and
00:57:57
seek answers it's like the
00:57:59
more we're going to be aware of of
00:58:02
things and how we can help people and
00:58:04
recognize people I know for a lot of my
00:58:06
friends who have struggled with
00:58:08
depression it can even be as simple as
00:58:10
like they get a phone call from a friend
00:58:12
who's just like hey what's up what's
00:58:14
going on and that can be a game Cher for
00:58:16
them that's not always the case but you
00:58:18
know it can it can do something brain
00:58:21
chemical wise yeah you know and so small
00:58:24
things like that definitely go along way
00:58:26
but recognizing when your friends are
00:58:28
hurting and taking action on that is
00:58:31
very very important and so um yeah I
00:58:35
think this has been amazing because and
00:58:38
I'm glad we kind of went where we went
00:58:41
yeah yeah and because it's it's
00:58:45
important and I think people need to
00:58:46
hear the the point of the show The goal
00:58:49
of this show has always been it it
00:58:52
started as very much a way of me wanting
00:58:54
to just kind of like catch up with
00:58:56
friends and kind of fluffy and talk
00:58:58
about some of the cringe and things like
00:59:00
that and what I've realized in doing now
00:59:03
for a couple months now is that like
00:59:07
there is a lot of hurt there's a lot of
00:59:08
good but there's also a lot of hurt and
00:59:11
a lot of ugliness um under the surface
00:59:13
of a lot of what we did and experienced
00:59:15
as kids and so I think it's important to
00:59:18
put some light on that and say we can do
00:59:21
better right and um yeah yeah for sure
00:59:25
and
00:59:26
um so yeah I mean with that Alyssa I
00:59:30
don't know if you've got any final words
00:59:33
or if other stories have popped into
00:59:35
your brain but um this has been amazing
00:59:39
and I really I really do appreciate you
00:59:40
coming on and being like so vulnerable
00:59:42
and open with with the audience yeah for
00:59:46
sure if there's anything that I want to
00:59:47
leave off with is this is this is kind
00:59:50
of my life philosophy but if you speak
00:59:53
up you were giving someone else the
00:59:56
courage to speak up as well like I think
00:59:57
that was something I realized back in
00:59:59
that story I shared about like sharing
01:00:01
my testimony um but yeah but just just
01:00:05
by being open you're helping other
01:00:07
people and you know that's one of the
01:00:09
reasons like why I wanted to come on
01:00:11
here and you know share a bit of my
01:00:13
story because I I do believe that this
01:00:16
um show is really it's going to help a
01:00:19
lot of people and I hope you know that
01:00:21
Jacob like I think listening to it has
01:00:24
definitely helped me quite a bit so yeah
01:00:27
and honestly anyone who's out there
01:00:30
listening like if you have something you
01:00:33
want to share and you think it can help
01:00:34
other people share it like yeah that
01:00:37
that's my biggest encouragement to
01:00:38
anyone listening well thank you and that
01:00:41
means a lot
01:00:42
and yeah this show has definitely been I
01:00:45
think therapy for not only me but also
01:00:47
for other people and even for parents um
01:00:50
which has been the wildest thing to hear
01:00:52
from as well um and so yeah like Alissa
01:00:54
said if you have a story that you to
01:00:56
share like please reach out like whether
01:00:58
you want to be on the show or whether
01:01:00
you just want to catch up with me I'm
01:01:02
always down to chat so you can reach out
01:01:04
to me Instagram it's exhs Club um or
01:01:09
email is exhs [email protected]
01:01:12
I want to hear from you guys I want to
01:01:14
know what's going on you know and if you
01:01:16
got something you want to share like
01:01:17
please don't hesitate uh to reach out
01:01:20
because I want to share it um no story
01:01:24
is too big or too small um um and uh you
01:01:28
know and we help Nobody by remaining
01:01:30
silent so yeah and also like if anyone
01:01:33
for any reason like wants to like ask me
01:01:35
questions about my experiences you're
01:01:37
also welcome to reach out to me on
01:01:39
Instagram my handle is just the Mexican
01:01:41
person that's it uh so if you if you
01:01:44
want to reach out to me you're more than
01:01:45
welcome to I'm happy to answer any
01:01:48
questions that you may have so very cool
01:01:50
awesome yeah and I'm going to drop all
01:01:52
that in the show notes as well so uh so
01:01:54
you know if you listen on two times
01:01:55
speed like me being a weirdo um you can
01:01:58
you know catch it in the show notes and
01:02:00
things like that Alyssa this has been
01:02:01
amazing and hopefully you come back
01:02:04
again um and we can talk more things
01:02:06
about home school
01:02:08
life no just let me know when okay
01:02:11
sounds good and uh yeah like I said
01:02:15
before this has been the ex
01:02:16
homeschoolers Club you can reach out to
01:02:17
me on Instagram email me you know if
01:02:21
you're listening on your favorite audio
01:02:22
platform I would I would love a review
01:02:25
um whether it's good or bad um I'm open
01:02:28
to it all um and if you're watching on
01:02:30
YouTube leave a comment just say hey
01:02:31
what's up um you know and uh yeah but
01:02:35
aside from that this has been the ex-
01:02:36
homeschoolers club and until next week
01:02:39
we'll see you peace
01:02:42
[Music]
01:02:48
[Music]
01:02:56
m
01:02:58
[Music]

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

  • 80
    Most inspiring
  • 70
    Most emotional
  • 70
    Most heartbreaking
  • 70
    Best overall

Episode Highlights

  • Alyssa's Homeschool Experience
    Alyssa shares her unconventional homeschooling journey, marked by a lack of structure and support.
    “My mom was the one responsible for all the homeschooling.”
    @ 02m 19s
    November 25, 2024
  • The Turning Point
    At 16, Alyssa attends her first official class, changing her perspective on education.
    “I was so scared just because I had no idea how a classroom worked.”
    @ 14m 32s
    November 25, 2024
  • Finding Purpose in Education
    Alyssa pursues a degree in childhood development to understand her past and help others.
    “I was really passionate about learning what happened to me.”
    @ 18m 54s
    November 25, 2024
  • The Power of Encouragement
    Hearing affirmations from parents can profoundly impact a child's self-esteem.
    “I get off the phone and cry.”
    @ 21m 16s
    November 25, 2024
  • Pursuing Education
    The journey of understanding oneself leads to a passion for teaching and education.
    “You wanted to help your little sister.”
    @ 22m 05s
    November 25, 2024
  • A Unique Childhood Dream
    Not every child dreams of being an astronaut; some just want to take a math quiz.
    “I want to go take a math quiz.”
    @ 25m 50s
    November 25, 2024
  • Empowering Children
    Parents should focus on equipping their children with the right tools for success.
    “You should really be more focused on giving them the tools.”
    @ 35m 42s
    November 25, 2024
  • The Dangers of Homeschooling and Religion
    Alyssa discusses how homeschooling can lead to dangerous situations, especially when intertwined with strict religious beliefs.
    “Religion and homeschooling can get very dangerous very quick.”
    @ 43m 50s
    November 25, 2024
  • Addressing Mental Health in Religious Contexts
    The conversation highlights the lack of understanding around mental health within religious communities.
    “There’s a lack of education when it comes to mental health in church.”
    @ 54m 42s
    November 25, 2024
  • Breaking the Silence
    Alyssa shares her emotional testimony about abuse and the importance of speaking out.
    “By being open, you’re helping other people.”
    @ 01h 00m 05s
    November 25, 2024
  • The Homeschoolers Club
    A heartfelt conversation about homeschooling and community engagement.
    “This has been amazing and hopefully you come back.”
    @ 01h 02m 01s
    November 25, 2024
  • Audience Engagement
    Encouraging listeners to reach out and leave feedback.
    “I would love a review, whether it's good or bad.”
    @ 01h 02m 22s
    November 25, 2024

Episode Quotes

  • You can do great things like I believe in you.
    Did I Grow Up In A Homeschool Cult? | EXHS #17
  • I felt so hopeless and that led to more mental health issues.
    Did I Grow Up In A Homeschool Cult? | EXHS #17
  • I want to go take a math quiz.
    Did I Grow Up In A Homeschool Cult? | EXHS #17
  • You should really be more focused on giving them the tools.
    Did I Grow Up In A Homeschool Cult? | EXHS #17
  • It’s hard because how can you know?
    Did I Grow Up In A Homeschool Cult? | EXHS #17
  • If you speak up, you’re giving someone else the courage to speak up as well.
    Did I Grow Up In A Homeschool Cult? | EXHS #17

Key Moments

  • Welcome to the Show00:03
  • Homeschool Breakdown01:27
  • Dance Class Revelation14:21
  • Reinventing Myself16:46
  • Emotional Support21:16
  • Self-Discovery22:05
  • Amazing Conversation1:02:01
  • Audience Feedback1:02:22

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown

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