00:00:07
Sharon dig welcome to my podcast thanks
00:00:09
mate how are you I'm good thanks so
00:00:11
Sharon de is your name um you're B ONN
00:00:14
as shares de uh also Limitless
00:00:18
Limitless yep for sure yeah and it's
00:00:21
great to have you here how long you how
00:00:22
long you been shares is this like a
00:00:23
nickname that's followed you around
00:00:24
through life um yeah I've been Shar for
00:00:26
a few years now just a few mate started
00:00:28
calling me that and it's just sort of
00:00:30
stuck you know so um yeah I only get
00:00:32
called Sharon now when my mother tells
00:00:34
me off so um yeah it's just sort of
00:00:37
stuck yeah yeah I like and what about
00:00:39
Limitless okay Limitless well that was
00:00:41
so cool um the team down at the
00:00:43
Wellington limb Center came up with that
00:00:45
one day um they knew what I was sort of
00:00:47
going to be starting to get into and
00:00:48
what I was going to get up to um and try
00:00:51
and attempt and they came one day I went
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down there for an appointment and they
00:00:54
came up and said we found a name for
00:00:56
your shares so um yeah I thought it was
00:00:59
pretty pretty cool actually Dan Co I
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like it it's a good play on words sure
00:01:03
for sure hey by the way you you seem
00:01:05
very nervous all of a sudden I I picked
00:01:07
you up I booked you a flight I picked
00:01:09
you up from the airport I think you
00:01:10
called me dumbass about three times on
00:01:12
the right into town now you seem nervous
00:01:14
all of a sudden oh well I don't know
00:01:16
what you're going to bloody ask me for a
00:01:17
started Dom but come on man well it's
00:01:20
your story and it's a hell of a story
00:01:22
and I think it's
00:01:23
inspirational um and the adversity
00:01:26
you've been through it's something that
00:01:27
one thing I've learned on this podcast
00:01:29
un shes is that
00:01:30
everyone even people that you least
00:01:32
expected from have some sort of
00:01:34
adversity that they're dealing with
00:01:35
absolutely so when you when you meet
00:01:37
someone like you that's been through
00:01:38
some a whole lot of stuff especially at
00:01:40
this age and stage of life like what are
00:01:42
you trying to say about stage and age
00:01:43
middle age middle age that's all right
00:01:45
yeah lucky you're lucky um it just lets
00:01:48
other people know well the [ __ ] that I'm
00:01:50
dealing with right now if Sharon can get
00:01:52
through this then I can get through
00:01:53
whatever I'm going through so I think
00:01:54
it's really cool yeah so you got nothing
00:01:55
to worry about although there are some
00:01:57
very big questions okay there's not okay
00:02:00
so um I think to paint a picture of um
00:02:03
you know who you are now and what you've
00:02:05
been through we should go right back to
00:02:06
the beginning so um tell us about shar's
00:02:09
like pre-accident you were you were
00:02:10
quite fit beforehand you did some events
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and things um I used to dabble around
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you know and I loved my sport always
00:02:15
love my sport from a young kid um but I
00:02:18
used to dabble around in a little bit of
00:02:19
running um and a little bit of cycling
00:02:21
and that was about it like what sort of
00:02:23
distance runs oh you know never done
00:02:26
anything more than a 10K or a half
00:02:28
marathon you know
00:02:30
um and I was never ever the best or
00:02:32
anything like that up there at the top
00:02:33
it was just more about keeping active
00:02:36
you know and being in with my mates um
00:02:40
we we were pretty active mates you know
00:02:42
um and just done a lot of stuff together
00:02:44
and but yeah nothing nothing major at
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all and and in terms of your like
00:02:49
personality and mindset like
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pre-accident did you just have that sort
00:02:52
of grit and determination um I don't
00:02:55
think it was nowhere near as what it is
00:02:57
now um yeah I I think it was just go
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with the flow and have a good time
00:03:02
before um whereas now it's like you know
00:03:06
what you can do
00:03:07
better um and and that's what I enjoy
00:03:10
about it this journey is just about
00:03:13
doing stuff for me but hopefully
00:03:16
encouraging
00:03:17
others um and that's that's been my
00:03:19
motto the whole time that all I've
00:03:21
wanted to do is um if people can see me
00:03:25
out there doing it hopefully it'll give
00:03:27
them a bit of encouragement you know you
00:03:29
s of think well what's my excuse exactly
00:03:32
you know well hey if she can do it that
00:03:34
one winged old Chuck can do it there's
00:03:35
no reason why I can't so yeah it's it's
00:03:38
more round about that that was my whole
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um idea of wanting to sort of do these
00:03:43
sort of activities was to try and push
00:03:45
awareness that you know just because
00:03:46
we're challenged doesn't mean to say we
00:03:48
can't still succeed I I I get the
00:03:50
feeling you you would have always been a
00:03:52
stubborn [ __ ] though even pre been a
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stubborn [ __ ] all my life ask my
00:03:55
husband for one um you know he'll tell
00:03:57
you that yeah you can't you can't be you
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can't be that stubbing though he's stuck
00:04:01
around you haven't scared him off look
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honestly I would not have been able to
00:04:04
do half of what I've done if it wasn't
00:04:07
for Owen you know he's he's a pretty
00:04:10
cool supportive dude um very very lucky
00:04:13
to have him by my side yeah by the way
00:04:15
from our from our dealings um getting
00:04:16
this podcast off the ground um you're
00:04:18
you're one of those nauseating couples
00:04:20
that have a a joined email address yeah
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I know right I mean it was you know back
00:04:25
in the day when you first got your email
00:04:26
everybody says what do you do oh you
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just put your names down so it was like
00:04:30
Owen and Sharon you know and it's like
00:04:32
wish now I could change it to Owen and
00:04:34
shares or you know but that's what youve
00:04:36
done everybody done it and we've never
00:04:38
changed it no I like that I and what
00:04:40
about even earlier um speaking of your
00:04:43
you know pre-accident and your
00:04:44
stubbornness I heard one podcast you did
00:04:47
and did you have like a falling out with
00:04:49
your parents and you got shipped off to
00:04:50
Family Farm or something I did were were
00:04:53
you were you I was a [ __ ] mate to my
00:04:54
were you a real piece of work yeah I was
00:04:56
I was a real [ __ ] I I gave my parents a
00:04:58
hard time what way was it phly standard
00:05:00
sort of teenage stuff yeah I was a bit
00:05:02
of a rebellion and um bit of trouble you
00:05:05
know got myself into a bit of trouble
00:05:07
and that but it was I was you know so
00:05:10
lucky I had an Auntie and Uncle in the
00:05:11
man or two that lived on a farm and they
00:05:14
said sh come and live with us um and
00:05:17
I've never looked back yeah so so you
00:05:19
you were um sort of born and raised in
00:05:21
Topo area and then um shipped to the
00:05:23
family farm near
00:05:25
ohaka yeah yeah yeah Jesus you've done
00:05:28
your homework yeah I had so I I picked
00:05:30
up on this cuz I've never heard you
00:05:31
elaborate on it what's that of age like
00:05:33
14 15 um yeah I was about 15 yeah yeah
00:05:37
so so real chance of you going off the
00:05:38
rails at that point oh for sure yeah um
00:05:41
and that's when my auntie and uncle came
00:05:42
along and yeah best thing that could
00:05:44
have ever happened to me just being down
00:05:46
on the farm out in the open you know um
00:05:49
learning different stuff just working on
00:05:52
the farm absolutely loved it changed my
00:05:54
life for the right direction yeah yeah
00:05:56
so you you look back now as a as a woman
00:05:58
in your late 50s days um what do you
00:06:00
what do you think of the uh the teenage
00:06:02
year just like harmless harmless fun
00:06:04
with your friends or yeah yeah it was a
00:06:06
bit and then um yeah I I went to that
00:06:09
extra extreme of you know doing a bit of
00:06:11
stealing and um paying the consequences
00:06:14
you know um which was good because being
00:06:18
caught you know
00:06:20
obviously it sets you on the straighten
00:06:22
Arrow it gives you a fraking good fright
00:06:24
you know yeah I was a [ __ ] I was an
00:06:27
absolute
00:06:28
bloody I was a right M may but but you
00:06:31
you say that now and it's like you
00:06:33
obviously had um you're obviously a good
00:06:35
person yourself and you obviously had
00:06:37
like good you know family networks and
00:06:39
supports you think of like the ram
00:06:41
Raiders and the crimes that are going on
00:06:42
now at the same sort of age that Youth
00:06:44
Level the police take them back home and
00:06:46
the families for the most part don't
00:06:48
care yeah um yeah no I I had a great you
00:06:51
know family Network around me once I got
00:06:53
down here to the man or two um and yeah
00:06:57
I mean I was I'm the middle child you
00:07:00
know Black Sheep shall we say Obviously
00:07:03
and um you know I've got a um older
00:07:06
brother and they're a couple of years
00:07:08
older than me he's done extremely well
00:07:09
in life I've got a younger sister she's
00:07:11
done extremely well in life but I've
00:07:13
sort of done nothing to there you know
00:07:16
um well what have they done oh my
00:07:18
brother's got a an amazing super um
00:07:20
upholstery business over in Australia
00:07:22
that he started uh my sister's done
00:07:24
extremely well in the nursing sector and
00:07:26
she's doing extremely well you know and
00:07:28
I'm proud of them both don't get me
00:07:30
wrong but we don't have a close
00:07:31
relationship um I just sort of stay
00:07:33
clear and just do my own thing um I just
00:07:37
find it's easier to be just be me yeah
00:07:41
um so you're not particularly close with
00:07:43
your family is that like a result of um
00:07:45
you're like your misadventure as a
00:07:47
teenager um no I think it's more my
00:07:50
choice you know um different things have
00:07:52
happened over the years yeah and it's
00:07:54
just like you know I'm sick and [ __ ]
00:07:57
tired of my parents not listening or
00:08:01
believe I I felt that they didn't
00:08:03
believe in me so um it was just easier
00:08:06
just to pull away live my own life um
00:08:11
and you know what it's been great it's
00:08:14
been absolutely fantastic I mean I still
00:08:15
have contact with my mother you know
00:08:17
she's in a rest home at the moment um
00:08:20
going through a real hard time with the
00:08:22
old cancer
00:08:23
stuff um so yeah you know like if once a
00:08:26
month we try and get up there to Tapo
00:08:28
and see here and you know I just saw her
00:08:30
last week um we pop we always make a
00:08:33
point of popping in you know how old is
00:08:35
she now like 80ish yeah she must be 80
00:08:38
85 is now I don't sort of keep track you
00:08:40
know I don't like to think of the years
00:08:43
um because we're only as old as we feel
00:08:45
aren't we you know and and I feel like
00:08:47
I'm 21 not bloody you know 57 so um yeah
00:08:53
it's but we keep yeah we keeping contact
00:08:55
yeah okay for some comparison um what
00:08:58
are words that people would have used to
00:09:00
describe you before losing your arm and
00:09:02
now after I don't really know probably
00:09:05
just you know pig-headed um stubborn
00:09:08
yeah just before and after same with
00:09:11
yeah see it's quite funny because it's
00:09:12
um I've been reading a book about this
00:09:14
and I reckon um and I've thought about
00:09:16
this a lot with different people I've
00:09:17
had on the podcast famous people and
00:09:19
non-f famous people but there's two sort
00:09:20
of mindsets you have like a a fixed
00:09:22
mindset or a growth mindset and you can
00:09:26
go from having a fixed mindset and
00:09:27
change that to a growth mindset at
00:09:29
anytime so say you pre-accident if you
00:09:31
had a flexed mindset you can lose your
00:09:33
arm and then change it to a growth
00:09:34
mindset but if you've had a growth
00:09:36
mindset all along and then something
00:09:37
like this happens it's you're probably
00:09:40
going to have a growth mindset
00:09:41
afterwards as well yeah yeah for sure I
00:09:43
agree um yeah I I think I've more got
00:09:46
the growth now yeah um but it's always
00:09:48
it have been there or no I I I think it
00:09:50
probably has done yeah you know to be
00:09:52
honest it probably has but I've never
00:09:54
really thought about until you know
00:09:55
you've just sort of said it um you're
00:09:58
probably right you know um yeah so I
00:10:01
think I have got the growth yeah now um
00:10:04
I just or you definitely do now the 100%
00:10:06
there's no question about it um and I
00:10:08
think you're right I have changed the
00:10:10
mindset has changed for sure but yeah
00:10:13
and like you say I I hadn't even thought
00:10:14
about it do in that way yeah until
00:10:16
you've mentioned it so December 2016 um
00:10:20
that's when the accident happened with
00:10:21
the Farmgate so that's uh how old were
00:10:23
you at the time like 50 uh must have
00:10:25
been
00:10:26
51 52 must have been 2 yeah um just a
00:10:31
freak accident mate yeah yeah was this
00:10:33
the middle of a gate on a goat farm yeah
00:10:35
yeah so um I've got a mate that started
00:10:37
a goat farm down in the Man 2 um and
00:10:41
they had 900 goats you know housed in
00:10:43
this big awesome shed um and she asked
00:10:46
me if I'd like to come along and do you
00:10:48
know do farming for a while so I was
00:10:50
like yeah [ __ ] I would like to give this
00:10:52
a go growth mindset yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:10:55
if you had a FX mindset you wouldn't
00:10:57
have been there that day so yeah I
00:10:59
jumped at the chance and um just one
00:11:02
particular day you know this these big
00:11:04
um de fence gates and they covered and
00:11:06
corrugated iron now the reasoning behind
00:11:08
that is to keep the weather out of the
00:11:12
animals that are housed inside the shed
00:11:14
okay so it's not to keep the animals in
00:11:15
it it's just to keep them safe and dry
00:11:17
comfortable for sure yep yep keeping
00:11:19
them their housing and that dry um so in
00:11:22
this particular day I was closing this
00:11:23
gate ready for milking and just a freak
00:11:26
gusta wind mate just picked me up and
00:11:29
the gate and slammed me um against the
00:11:32
post you know a big defense post well
00:11:34
what are you what are your Recollections
00:11:35
of that does that happen in slow motion
00:11:37
or it just happened so quick it happened
00:11:38
so bloody quick like a matter of seconds
00:11:41
absolutely it was you know to lift me
00:11:43
and my fat ass off the ground it had to
00:11:46
be a pretty good you know gust of wind
00:11:48
so yeah it just slammed me there um and
00:11:52
I ended up on the ground um obviously
00:11:54
the gate slammed and then reopened and I
00:11:57
just landed on the ground and I looked
00:11:59
at my arm and it was just bent in a Like
00:12:01
A L
00:12:02
shape unbelievable like like like like
00:12:05
blood coming out or had it slashed it or
00:12:07
no just bones everywhere just just just
00:12:10
completely like this here was just in a
00:12:12
V so imagine that both bones were just
00:12:15
snapped completely in half mate but the
00:12:18
bones weren't poking out of the skin or
00:12:20
no no you don't have to get that Bloody
00:12:21
gruesome man um I just just want to
00:12:24
paint a picture of what you went through
00:12:26
there so so you're um so adrenaline k
00:12:29
pain or are you just um I think the
00:12:31
adrenaline had kicked in by then so no I
00:12:33
wasn't in pain um but I had this small
00:12:35
Nick on my knee obviously from a bit of
00:12:38
corrugated ey and I just sort of got a
00:12:40
Nick well that was more bloody painful
00:12:42
mate seriously um it was so painful I
00:12:45
don't know what was going on I don't
00:12:47
know whether the pain had transferred
00:12:49
down to here but it was just bizarre um
00:12:52
so we went to the hospital um get to the
00:12:55
hospital get to A&E and the guys they
00:12:57
were great there
00:12:59
um they took one look and they said yep
00:13:01
well we don't really need to send you
00:13:02
for an x-ray sh as we can see what's
00:13:04
going on um so they took me into a room
00:13:08
um knocked me out for five minutes and
00:13:10
realigned it and stuck me in a temperary
00:13:13
cast and I can remember the the doctor
00:13:16
in there saying to me you'll need to go
00:13:18
to surgery tonight shz to get it plated
00:13:21
and um pinned you know just a few couple
00:13:24
of PES and a couple of pins on each side
00:13:27
just a normal six to eight week recovery
00:13:30
and I'm like yep can handle that so
00:13:32
you're you're feeling okay you're
00:13:33
feeling pretty good about yeah yeah yeah
00:13:35
yeah absolutely and I'm like okay
00:13:37
surgery tonight that's fine he said
00:13:39
because if you don't go to surgery
00:13:40
tonight Shar he said there's going to be
00:13:42
some serious
00:13:43
complications unfortunately I didn't go
00:13:45
to surgery that night and were you after
00:13:49
being being told that were
00:13:51
you I don't like were you sort of I mean
00:13:54
it's easy to to have this line of
00:13:56
questioning and have this conversation
00:13:57
with the benefit of hindsight but were
00:13:59
you sort of like you know pushing it
00:14:02
yourself and saying Hey listen I need to
00:14:03
get to surgery I got told I need the
00:14:05
surgery at that stage no because they
00:14:06
told me that I'd go that night okay so
00:14:09
you know I was reassured that yeah it
00:14:11
was going to happen that night so I was
00:14:12
like okay so you just go with it right
00:14:14
yeah they the exper yeah you just roll
00:14:16
with it so I'm like okay get that night
00:14:19
at about 7:00 they come and tell me that
00:14:21
no I was going to be bumped again this
00:14:24
went on for five days mate five freaking
00:14:27
days see again we've got the benefit of
00:14:30
hindsight here but if it was me I I I
00:14:32
think if I was told you need to get to
00:14:33
surgery ASAP or else there's going to be
00:14:35
complications I'd like to think I'd be
00:14:37
like aggressively pursuing it and
00:14:39
pushing it and following up I think I
00:14:41
was yeah but obviously you know you're
00:14:44
in a lot of pain um the reason why I was
00:14:47
in a lot of pain was because I could see
00:14:50
my hand was start my fingers were
00:14:51
starting to swell my hand was starting
00:14:54
to go black you know and the pain was
00:14:57
starting to get quite quite intense so
00:15:00
that's when I sort of got
00:15:02
pretty um let's say forceful mhm you
00:15:06
know and I'd say to the nurses so this
00:15:07
is day this is day about three and a
00:15:10
half yeah and I'm saying look you know I
00:15:13
really need to see somebody here um and
00:15:15
of course the nurses had come oh we give
00:15:17
you some more Panadol shares you know in
00:15:20
the end I I I did day five I said you
00:15:23
know this is
00:15:25
[ __ ] I'm in pain I want to see some
00:15:28
body I want a doctor in here today I
00:15:31
need to see I said have a look at my
00:15:32
hand and by that stage you could see my
00:15:36
Knuckles my fingers were going black so
00:15:39
I didn't know what the rest of the arm
00:15:41
was like so you were starting to panic
00:15:44
well I wasn't starting to panic I was in
00:15:45
pain okay I was in severe pain right um
00:15:49
CU don't forget I'm still in a temporary
00:15:51
cast so a lot of the swelling couldn't
00:15:53
swell so um anyway the surgeon came in
00:15:58
and I could can remember it it's just
00:16:00
it's just like he walked through that
00:16:01
door and I'm in a bed here like this
00:16:03
sitting up and he just walked in the
00:16:05
door and my um was obviously sitting
00:16:08
here and he he just said get her to
00:16:12
surgery now and I could remember mate I
00:16:15
was rushed out of that room um and down
00:16:18
to surgery so I had surgery thinking
00:16:21
that I was going to come out of that and
00:16:23
I'd just be you know couple of four
00:16:25
plates you know two plates on each bone
00:16:28
and screws in each each bones um when I
00:16:32
came to the surgeon was actually
00:16:34
standing by my bed and Me in My Big
00:16:37
Mouth I said what's going on if you cut
00:16:40
me [ __ ] arm
00:16:42
off wow he says no sh we haven't but he
00:16:46
said I need to inform you we've had to
00:16:47
do a fasciotomy what's that exactly I
00:16:50
said speak to me in English so a FAS cuz
00:16:54
I couldn't see my arm it was all
00:16:56
bandaged up I had no idea what what it
00:16:58
was looking like so fasciotomy was they
00:17:01
had to they cut right down the inside of
00:17:04
my arm cross my hand cross the side of
00:17:07
my hand and all the way back up the side
00:17:09
now the reasoning of that was it's to
00:17:12
release the pressure because it had
00:17:15
swollen so much it was severely
00:17:18
swollen um so from there every second
00:17:22
day I went back to theater and they
00:17:24
stitched up segments about this big each
00:17:27
time so I had nine surgeries in 11
00:17:30
days on the 11th day um this young
00:17:34
intern came in to my room and he says oh
00:17:37
I'm just going to have a look at your um
00:17:39
check your arm shares and I'm like oh
00:17:41
yeah that's fine didn't warn me about
00:17:43
what the hell my arm was going to look
00:17:45
like or what I was about to see he took
00:17:49
all the bandages off and the dressing
00:17:51
off and I don't know if you've seen any
00:17:55
photos D but no I haven't but there was
00:17:58
the this gaping
00:17:59
hole in my arm so this massive hole here
00:18:03
now um some people will be watching this
00:18:05
on YouTube most people will be listening
00:18:07
to it what's the size anything you can
00:18:09
compare it to in terms of size uh
00:18:11
probably the size of tennis ball okay oh
00:18:13
sh yeah so and and as round as a tennis
00:18:16
for where abouts like on the where like
00:18:18
on the on the forearm yeah just were
00:18:21
trying to close up um and that was and I
00:18:24
I looked and I was like holy [ __ ] balls
00:18:27
you know
00:18:28
um and then I looked and I said to him
00:18:30
oh is that a bit of gor and he goes no
00:18:32
no that's your tendon I'm like [ __ ] you
00:18:35
know I'm sitting there for the first
00:18:36
time seeing my arm and here's this
00:18:38
massive hole I mean they would make you
00:18:40
queasy looking at it on someone else's
00:18:42
arm looking at on your own arm are you
00:18:43
are you panicking at that point I wasn't
00:18:45
panicking I was sort of like to be
00:18:47
honest I was probably sort of steering
00:18:49
away from it you know at this point um
00:18:52
and I said to him why the hell have I
00:18:54
still got that hole there and he says oh
00:18:56
we can't close that shars we tried to
00:18:58
close it and when you woke up last time
00:19:00
you were in so much pain can't you
00:19:02
remember and I says no and he said no we
00:19:05
had to rush you back into theater and
00:19:07
take those stitches out that we can't
00:19:09
close it it's too um he's still too
00:19:12
swollen so from there they sent me down
00:19:15
to Hut Hospital in Wellington to the
00:19:17
Plastics unit where they removed a bit
00:19:19
of my backside not that you can notice
00:19:22
um and like a skin graft yep and stuck
00:19:25
it in slapped them in there um and
00:19:28
that was going to be what my arm was
00:19:30
going to look like so from there I went
00:19:32
home good old recovery you know best
00:19:34
recovery in bed sleep you know let's be
00:19:38
honest sleep is our best recovery yeah
00:19:40
absolutely so when you when you leave um
00:19:42
the hospital by the way that's a lot
00:19:43
that's a lot to go through like how many
00:19:44
how many operations like n so I had
00:19:46
probably 11 operations all up in 14 days
00:19:51
yeah that takes it out of you it does
00:19:52
yeah um but you were sent home so you've
00:19:55
had all these surgeries um all these all
00:19:58
the all the stress of this and the skin
00:20:00
graft as well and you sent home and you
00:20:03
think you're just going to recover and
00:20:04
it's going to be good all good you I was
00:20:06
sent home and I thought yep my arm's
00:20:08
going to this is a recovery stage now
00:20:10
we're starting the 6 to8 week recovery
00:20:12
but when I left Hut hospital they made
00:20:14
another appointment for me to come back
00:20:16
so that they could check the skin graft
00:20:17
obviously um so yeah about a month later
00:20:20
went back down there once again um took
00:20:23
all the dressings off and it was the
00:20:25
first time I got to see my arm um I
00:20:28
probably should have bought you some
00:20:29
photos DS and it's on the phone I can
00:20:31
easily show you they no thanks they're
00:20:33
pretty gruesome you know this it'll show
00:20:35
whether you're a man or a mouse you know
00:20:37
oh I'm a mouse I'm a mouse I might get
00:20:40
some off you for a for my video guide
00:20:42
you might want for sure um so yeah it
00:20:44
was the first time I got to see my arm
00:20:47
yeah not pretty so I was scarred all the
00:20:50
way down here had this massive you know
00:20:53
skin grafting in here um which in a
00:20:56
month's time the skin grafting had
00:20:58
shrunk down and it was looking okay what
00:21:01
do you reckon it looked like an arm that
00:21:02
had been like chewed by a dog or
00:21:04
something would you say or yeah a shark
00:21:06
a shark right yeah yeah just and you so
00:21:09
when you see that do you um what's your
00:21:11
initial reaction like do you you break
00:21:13
down and cry like you no what's the
00:21:15
point of crying you know it's only
00:21:17
spilled water you know um you look at it
00:21:20
and yeah you're
00:21:22
disappointed I didn't realize the extent
00:21:24
of my injuries until all the hospitals
00:21:27
let's put it this way I didn't realize
00:21:29
the extent of the hospital's [ __ ]
00:21:31
up um because this should not have
00:21:33
happened are you are you frustrated at
00:21:35
that point um I know you're not a person
00:21:37
that likes to look back in anger but
00:21:39
take you back to that moment um honestly
00:21:41
I'm not frustrated I'm more all I wanted
00:21:45
to do was put my energy and my time into
00:21:48
my recovery what's the point of feeling
00:21:50
anger you know and boiling yourself up
00:21:53
you're not it's not going to benefit you
00:21:55
at all so no but if it was me I'm just
00:21:57
I'm probably projecting here I'd be
00:21:59
[ __ ] infuriated well you know at that
00:22:01
point it hadn't really hit me Dom okay
00:22:03
it really hadn't hit me as to what I was
00:22:06
going to be left with what sort of arm I
00:22:08
was going to have Okay so this stage
00:22:10
your arms a Miss but you think it's
00:22:11
going to be fine yep okay yep totally
00:22:13
thinking I was still going to have the
00:22:15
use of an arm and I was going to have
00:22:17
you know my my other arm my left arm um
00:22:22
so yeah as as rehab sort of continued on
00:22:26
the the scar
00:22:28
they didn't really improve the um hole
00:22:31
that was in there from my skin graph
00:22:34
yeah it was there it wasn't pretty you
00:22:35
know I mean I'm not a Comm a cosmetic
00:22:38
chick by any means take a look at me you
00:22:40
know [ __ ] I don't buy that [ __ ] you know
00:22:43
I Was Born This Way why try and spend
00:22:45
thousands of dollars trying to cover it
00:22:46
up so you know the Cosmetic sort of side
00:22:48
of things didn't really worry me but
00:22:50
when I saw this it did start to get to
00:22:54
me that you know this isn't good because
00:22:58
in the end I used to just have my arm
00:23:02
sitting here like this trying to protect
00:23:04
it because it was useless it was
00:23:07
freaking useless for anyone that's
00:23:08
listening to this um imagine so she's um
00:23:11
she has this missing her left arm now
00:23:13
but you hold it like held it like it was
00:23:14
in an invisible sling yep for sure up
00:23:16
against the body perfect um and um yeah
00:23:20
so I just hold it there and just try and
00:23:21
protect it um and in the end you know it
00:23:25
was I it was useless mate I just I had a
00:23:28
name for it you ready I've heard you say
00:23:31
this in a couple of podcasts yeah [ __ ]
00:23:32
and a sock I used to call it my [ __ ] and
00:23:34
a sock yeah what does that mean well it
00:23:36
was just [ __ ] useless you males will
00:23:38
understand that you know at times you
00:23:40
know and that's why I used to call it
00:23:41
that it was just useless because it was
00:23:44
in like a bandage and it was just yeah
00:23:47
it just used to hang it used to flop so
00:23:50
um that was my name for it you know I
00:23:52
was trying to make light of situation
00:23:53
and you know different things and that
00:23:55
was a way of calling it something
00:23:57
ridiculous and make having a bit of fun
00:23:59
with it but yeah in the end it it just
00:24:01
became redundant I lost all muscle mass
00:24:04
and it was just redundant just there but
00:24:07
did you still have like um your grip
00:24:09
strength in your wrist and your hand
00:24:11
okay so I lost everything mate okay so
00:24:14
it it was literally redundant it
00:24:18
was okay but I'm thinking about things
00:24:21
um we can get to this later like things
00:24:23
things that you do now that you know you
00:24:25
people with both hands and both arms
00:24:27
would take for grounded like doing up
00:24:28
buttons on your shirt for example could
00:24:30
you use your left hand when you had that
00:24:31
post accident to no okay no I couldn't
00:24:34
do so it was just sort of ornamental oh
00:24:36
it was okay and it was an ugly
00:24:38
ornamental you know it it wasn't a nice
00:24:41
thing to have sitting there um but you
00:24:44
know I I still carried on with my life I
00:24:46
still went out and done things but it
00:24:48
got to a point where I could see that
00:24:51
possibly I could go into a different
00:24:55
spiral um what you mean I I could have
00:24:58
gone down this path of anger yeah um and
00:25:04
being grumpy and being annoyed and
00:25:07
getting
00:25:08
frustrated and I didn't want to go down
00:25:10
that path Dom I really really didn't
00:25:12
want to go down that path I could see
00:25:14
how easy it would be for somebody to
00:25:17
spiral on a downward path so I had to
00:25:20
make a
00:25:21
decision um and it had to be my decision
00:25:24
couldn't be anybody else's so um I
00:25:27
thought you know I want to move on with
00:25:29
my life I don't want to
00:25:31
be um stuck in this position where you
00:25:36
know I could
00:25:38
get in a situation that I didn't want to
00:25:40
be negative head space yeah yeah um so
00:25:45
yeah I wanted to move forward with my
00:25:46
life so I had to make a decision and
00:25:48
make so it was I came up with this most
00:25:52
radical stupid
00:25:54
decision um and it just you know it just
00:25:57
felt felt right I don't yeah I don't
00:25:59
know you say radical stupid decision I
00:26:00
know you're doing that say that tongue
00:26:01
and cheick but it feels like uh it was
00:26:04
probably the sensible or even the only
00:26:05
decision to make um yeah or no yeah I
00:26:09
mean you know some people wouldn't go to
00:26:11
that extreme you know it was pretty
00:26:12
extreme this decision you know when I
00:26:15
threw it at my husband whoa mate yeah so
00:26:19
you you guys been married like 30 odd
00:26:21
years yeah okay yeah he's my best mate
00:26:23
he's my best mate and he's um yeah he's
00:26:25
got got your you know he's got my back
00:26:27
yeah there's there's no there's no
00:26:28
agenda whatsoever at that point he's got
00:26:30
me my back and so you know I threw this
00:26:32
idea and you know I came up with how am
00:26:34
I going to approach this with them you
00:26:37
know because it's a big thing you know
00:26:39
um so I just one day I just said to him
00:26:41
can we sit down and have a talk um and I
00:26:44
just said to him I've made a decision um
00:26:47
and I hope you'll support me but I said
00:26:50
I want it off and he was no not at all
00:26:54
was he why why was that as initi um I I
00:26:57
don't know it was you know cuz he must
00:26:58
have had so this was um the amputation
00:27:01
was 2018 so it's like a couple of years
00:27:04
of you you recovering or trying to
00:27:06
recover or dealing with this um you know
00:27:09
useless uh limb that you called a [ __ ]
00:27:11
and a sock
00:27:13
um yeah why why why did why was his was
00:27:16
that his initial reaction it must have
00:27:17
been something that occurred to him over
00:27:19
that time well no I don't think it had I
00:27:21
don't think it had I think I don't know
00:27:24
whether it was because he thought it it
00:27:26
may improve over
00:27:28
time I suppose you always hold out High
00:27:30
pay oh for sure yeah we all do don't we
00:27:33
of course we all hope that you know it's
00:27:35
going to be for the better um but I knew
00:27:38
that that wasn't going to be for the
00:27:40
better so I wanted to make it for the
00:27:42
better and the only way for me to make
00:27:44
it better was to yeah remove it cut the
00:27:47
bugger off get rid of it feed it to the
00:27:49
Flaming dogs you
00:27:52
know can the dogs are like where don't
00:27:55
there looks like a shark's already had
00:27:56
to go there okay so Owens so Owen's
00:27:59
initial reaction is no does that come
00:28:01
from like a place of Love or consume for
00:28:05
you or I I I honestly believe it was
00:28:08
because you know he loves me yeah um and
00:28:10
he was looking out for me but you know
00:28:13
so I had to sort of coax it around a bit
00:28:15
you know I I did have to coax him around
00:28:18
um in the end I just said to him look
00:28:20
it's my life it's my body um and this is
00:28:23
what I want to do and I said I hope you
00:28:25
support me and he did you know obviously
00:28:29
um yeah he came around and he knew that
00:28:31
you know over time I think he thought
00:28:33
about it um and he knew that it was the
00:28:35
right thing for me to do did you did you
00:28:37
guys come up with like a list of pros
00:28:39
and cons or anything or no you know um I
00:28:41
actually spoke to one of my mates and
00:28:43
said that because I didn't talk to a lot
00:28:45
of people about it um because I knew
00:28:47
that all be you know no you can't have
00:28:48
that Shaz and I didn't want all those
00:28:50
negative reactions but I did speak to
00:28:52
one mate and she said shares what you
00:28:54
should try doing is tying your hand
00:28:56
behind your back for a week and see how
00:28:58
you go and I thought no if I'm doing
00:29:01
this I'm going in Boots and all it's
00:29:03
just going to happen and you just got to
00:29:04
deal with it then don't you you know
00:29:07
yeah but there's no reversal oh
00:29:09
absolutely not but I mean you just got
00:29:11
to deal with it oh no wait a minute just
00:29:14
I want the useless arm back yeah so yeah
00:29:17
I found a surgeon um did you need to did
00:29:19
they make you undergo any compost
00:29:21
counseling or anything like that um yeah
00:29:22
I had to do a couple of sessions oh [ __ ]
00:29:24
that's a lot of crap isn't it you know
00:29:26
um well it's
00:29:28
I mean um yeah I I had the same sort of
00:29:31
thing mandatory very very different
00:29:32
situation but mandatory counseling when
00:29:34
um me and JJ and my wife at the time
00:29:37
undergoing fertility stuff and we were
00:29:38
about to use a mate sper donor sperm and
00:29:41
you have like mandatory counseling but
00:29:42
it's it's easy to say the answers that
00:29:44
you know you should say for sure very
00:29:47
easy to fool them I think I I I just
00:29:49
felt like I was just doing a recording
00:29:51
yeah you know it was yes no yeah n yeah
00:29:55
yeah I suppose so you know it was yeah
00:29:58
like you say I think it's very easy to
00:29:59
fool them not that I was out there to do
00:30:02
that g not at all no no and I'm exactly
00:30:04
the same and it's one of those
00:30:06
things it feels like we have to go
00:30:09
through yeah and like with with my
00:30:10
situation which is very different to
00:30:12
yours with the donor spin thing like I
00:30:13
had a couple of years leading up to that
00:30:15
where it's like this may be a path we
00:30:17
have to go down so you have time to
00:30:18
think about it same with you I guess you
00:30:20
had a lot of time to think about well I
00:30:22
I didn't really because you know it
00:30:24
happened in December 16 the accident so
00:30:27
I only had that 12 months you know that
00:30:30
from recovering to making a decision to
00:30:33
getting it removed yeah honestly you
00:30:35
know I must have had red flags by my
00:30:37
name because you don't just go into a
00:30:41
surgeon and say that you want to remove
00:30:43
a part of your body and next minute
00:30:45
you're getting it done so um I think
00:30:48
they sort of knew that that [ __ ] up
00:30:50
basically and you know okay if this is
00:30:52
what she wants let's let's make this
00:30:54
happen for her um plus I think my
00:30:57
surgeon um he was fantastic um I still
00:31:01
have a great relationship with him now
00:31:04
um he's done my knise so he's seen quite
00:31:06
a bit of my body you know um and he he's
00:31:10
yeah he's always helped me now yeah he's
00:31:12
made made it made things happen for me
00:31:15
so anyway I saw him and he put me on to
00:31:18
Prof thirston um a guy down at a
00:31:21
professor down in Wellington who was um
00:31:24
obviously the man for amputations so I
00:31:27
contacted him and um we had a few emails
00:31:31
back and forth and then next minute I
00:31:33
get this email saying let's make it
00:31:35
happen so we did from there it just
00:31:38
evolved so what what's that
00:31:41
process um like do you do you discuss
00:31:44
where it's going to be cut off or so
00:31:45
yeah so we talked about it and discussed
00:31:48
it and um because I was right cut right
00:31:52
up here right up to my elbow basically
00:31:54
and it was a bit of a mess he said we
00:31:56
can do a below elbow shes but he said I
00:31:58
would suggest we go above elbow So Below
00:32:02
elbow would make it easier in terms of
00:32:03
like um
00:32:05
Pro yeah and if you see a lot of arm
00:32:08
amputees a lot of them are below elbow
00:32:12
there's not many of us that are above
00:32:13
elbow so we're the special ones
00:32:17
obviously um but um yeah so we went so
00:32:21
he um amputated it just above the elbow
00:32:25
here yeah so it was as you can see it's
00:32:28
a lot shorter now than what it was um
00:32:30
when we first done it but then after he
00:32:34
amputated we had
00:32:36
complications um and not only do I have
00:32:39
severe phantom pain I have this thing
00:32:42
called CPS which is complex regional
00:32:44
pain syndrome um and like I said to you
00:32:47
a bit earlier when we're talking it's
00:32:48
like if you've ever peed on an electric
00:32:52
fence you know what it's like you know
00:32:54
you get that full instant jarring and
00:32:56
that shocking well that's what I have
00:32:58
mean does that just is that um
00:33:00
sporadically or occasionally or it's all
00:33:02
the time permanently so um so it
00:33:05
constantly s of feels like you're being
00:33:06
T say yeah yeah um what do you what do
00:33:10
you what do you take for that um so I I
00:33:12
I don't take um I instantly got off the
00:33:15
tramol and the seol and all that sort of
00:33:18
stuff um and then I've I've been had
00:33:21
some super support people around me and
00:33:24
um we've tried different things um I
00:33:26
went to have been in contact with a pain
00:33:28
specialist Dr Amir up here um and we've
00:33:32
been dealing with him and my um people
00:33:35
down in py um and we' finally came we've
00:33:40
tried different medications obviously so
00:33:43
so oh I'm just trying to get my head
00:33:44
around something so post um post
00:33:46
accident but preamputation were you in
00:33:48
were you in pain you had this useless
00:33:50
arm I was had discomfort right had
00:33:53
discomfort but I wouldn't call it
00:33:55
pain um so and then once we um amputated
00:33:59
it obviously the nerves didn't agree
00:34:02
with that because don't forget it was a
00:34:05
massive trauma of being smashed and
00:34:08
broken um you know you've got both bones
00:34:11
completely broken in half snapped in
00:34:13
half so it's a massive trauma it's not
00:34:15
like just a break that a kid has in the
00:34:18
playground you know from falling out of
00:34:20
a tree yeah this was severe um in their
00:34:24
terms um so yeah so that trauma on its
00:34:28
own has fired the
00:34:31
nerves um from instantly from that
00:34:34
trauma so once we had it amputated it's
00:34:39
obviously um elevated that that pain and
00:34:42
the nerve
00:34:44
endings so um yeah so we we we've had
00:34:49
two further amputations since
00:34:51
then um where I've had an awesome
00:34:54
surgeon down at Hut Hospital Dr Bon
00:34:57
um he really looked after me and tried
00:34:59
different things so we went back to
00:35:01
surgery another time this is a couple
00:35:03
years later um and he what he done was
00:35:08
he shortened it he found well he
00:35:10
obviously opened up Stumpy um found the
00:35:14
nerves stretched them SE them and then
00:35:18
he let them go hoping that the nerve
00:35:20
endings would end up somewhere back up
00:35:23
here um so that there'd be no pressure
00:35:26
or nerve ending down here where I was
00:35:28
getting all the pain um so we were
00:35:30
hoping that was going to happen um and
00:35:32
eliminate the pain unfortunately it
00:35:35
didn't so
00:35:37
about a year maybe 18 months later he
00:35:41
tried to have another go and we went
00:35:42
through this whole process of he had
00:35:45
this brain wave of um and this idea that
00:35:48
he had to take to a panel to get it
00:35:50
approve first to go ahead and do this so
00:35:53
I still didn't know if I was going to
00:35:55
have this third amputation or not so
00:35:58
they're just like going higher and yeah
00:36:00
oh god um so we we got to go ahead and
00:36:04
the approval to do this third amputation
00:36:07
and what he done then was once again he
00:36:09
opened up Stumpy found those nerve
00:36:11
endings which had neuromas growing on
00:36:14
the end of them which was causing the
00:36:17
pain um so he once again he stretched
00:36:20
them he um cut them and then removed
00:36:24
those neuromas and then he saided them
00:36:26
again the nerve endings and then what he
00:36:28
done was he drilled straight through my
00:36:30
bone and he's inserted the nerve endings
00:36:33
into my bone so that if the new Romas
00:36:36
grow back again hopefully it won't
00:36:39
penetrate penetrate through the bone um
00:36:42
and that was he said to me Shaz this is
00:36:44
the last thing I can think of doing for
00:36:46
you so you know I've I've had some
00:36:49
awesome team behind me to trying to help
00:36:51
me as much as possible with this pain um
00:36:55
unfortunately it hasn't worked
00:36:57
so we're still in pain so Stumpy's still
00:37:00
a prick um yeah I've heard you um refer
00:37:04
to it as Stumpy and a a couple of um
00:37:06
podcasts that I've listened to not why
00:37:08
did you why did you decide to um to name
00:37:10
it when when did that happen did that
00:37:12
happened pre the amputation or I
00:37:15
honestly when I first had the amputation
00:37:17
the day of the surgery I woke up and I
00:37:21
looked down and here was this big fat
00:37:24
you know um bandaged stump um and I just
00:37:28
looked down and I had the biggest smile
00:37:30
on my face Dom I just um and I just
00:37:34
looked down and I said welcome to sh's
00:37:38
World Stumpy um and it's just stuck you
00:37:41
know and
00:37:42
honestly I um it was the best decision
00:37:45
of my life absolutely best decision of
00:37:48
my life mate yeah the um the the the
00:37:51
Stumpy thing um the thing thing I like
00:37:53
about that is uh um yeah rather than
00:37:57
like mourning what you're losing and
00:37:59
talking about losing your arm you talk
00:38:00
about gaining something new oh
00:38:02
absolutely I don't know I don't know if
00:38:03
that was subconscious or an intentional
00:38:05
thing but it's a way of framing it that
00:38:07
it it was just like you know this is the
00:38:09
start of a New Journey this is going to
00:38:12
be an awesome Journey um and I just
00:38:15
wanted it to be a great journey you know
00:38:17
I wanted it to be a whole new Journey
00:38:20
Stumpy and I were starting over you know
00:38:23
and it was it was a new beginning and
00:38:26
like I say the best fraking decision of
00:38:29
my life Stumpy Stumpy and Shar on tour
00:38:32
sounds like sounds like some sort of
00:38:34
weird comedy movie that you'd see in
00:38:36
video easy back in the day um so you
00:38:39
just go back to like the the the I know
00:38:41
the day of or the day before the
00:38:43
amputation like yeah so you're you're in
00:38:44
a hospital getting prepped up and maybe
00:38:46
you've got the Vivid marker drawn on
00:38:47
your on your
00:38:49
arm like do you have like a like a mour
00:38:52
moment to yourself like a moment of say
00:38:55
that that that's really good question
00:38:57
and it's funny and it's I forget about
00:38:59
bringing this up but you know like um
00:39:01
the morning of the
00:39:03
surgery uh my surgeon says you know um
00:39:07
right sh have you thought about what
00:39:08
you'd like to do with your Lo once I
00:39:11
remove it or your white back or collect
00:39:12
and I'm like oh [ __ ] no I got no idea
00:39:16
and he goes well you know some people
00:39:18
like to have it returned and they keep
00:39:20
it in the freezer and so that when they
00:39:23
pass eventually they feel like they a
00:39:26
whole person and I hadn't even thought
00:39:29
about any of this D you know and um and
00:39:32
he says some you know get it cremated
00:39:36
and keep it for the same reason you know
00:39:39
there's religious reasons I suppose in a
00:39:41
in a way a lot of people would said as
00:39:42
like a part of your a part of your dying
00:39:44
like it's it's the old you and I and he
00:39:47
says you know what would you like then
00:39:48
he said oh you can give it to Medical
00:39:51
Science and of course my natural
00:39:53
reaction and my first reaction was not
00:39:55
thinking what my mouth was about to say
00:39:58
but I said feed it to the [ __ ]
00:40:01
dogs and he just looked at me he's this
00:40:04
you know um nearly retired gentleman and
00:40:08
he just looked at me and a couple of the
00:40:10
nurses laughed you know and then I said
00:40:12
oh sorry um you know um and I said
00:40:17
because I just wanted it gone you know
00:40:18
it was no good to me I didn't want the
00:40:20
bloody thing back you know it was my
00:40:22
decision to get rid of it so why the
00:40:23
hell would I want it back you know so um
00:40:26
um I just said give it to Medical
00:40:28
Science I said hopefully this will
00:40:30
prevent somebody else going through what
00:40:32
I've gone through so um what they done
00:40:35
with it I got no idea Dom and I don't
00:40:37
care I really don't care
00:40:40
yeah see um I I'm probably pettier than
00:40:43
you I think um I've just been thinking
00:40:45
the last couple of minutes what I'd do
00:40:46
with it and I probably would have got it
00:40:48
back and then sent it to the the [ __ ]
00:40:50
in paliston North Hospital that [ __ ]
00:40:52
it up in the first place by messing
00:40:53
around for 5 days yeah well you know I
00:40:56
have thought of that sometimes cuz
00:40:57
there's no accountability on that end is
00:40:59
there no accountability whatsoever and
00:41:02
what chance do you have of any
00:41:03
accountability when you you know yeah
00:41:05
and what and what you're doing and
00:41:06
saying is is exactly the right thing
00:41:08
like there's no use wasting 5 years
00:41:10
seven years 10 years of your life
00:41:12
collecting folders of court documents
00:41:14
going through the system for what maybe
00:41:17
100 Grand at the end of it Couple Grand
00:41:19
you know and that's what I said to
00:41:20
people look it's not about the money
00:41:23
it's about moving forward yeah but you
00:41:25
can see where people and how people
00:41:28
think and you know if I don't want that
00:41:31
anger and that negativity and that
00:41:34
frustration even someone's saying sorry
00:41:36
like what's it going to change oh mate
00:41:38
you know you might get a letter with a
00:41:40
scribble signature at the bottom of it
00:41:43
what the [ __ ] does that mean you know
00:41:45
what is what does that give you yeah it
00:41:47
doesn't give you any you know
00:41:50
closure my closure is just the beginning
00:41:54
of the opening yeah of my your journey
00:41:57
you know that's that's my closure yeah
00:42:01
yeah so so so when you're in that
00:42:03
hospital bed recovering and the the
00:42:04
hours or the days after it you do you um
00:42:07
yeah is it emotional or you just happy
00:42:09
no I'm happy mate yeah I was ecstatic
00:42:12
yeah I was I just wanted to get out of
00:42:14
there move on um yeah yeah I went
00:42:17
through a fair bit of pain um that's
00:42:19
where the pain obviously started after
00:42:21
the amputation and I went through a fear
00:42:22
bit of pain um and they moved did did
00:42:25
they warn you about that do they warn
00:42:26
you it could be painful CU you you sort
00:42:28
of think you've got this useless limb
00:42:29
you get it chopped off and everything's
00:42:30
going to be better yeah um they they
00:42:32
said that there can be side effects for
00:42:34
like anything D yeah you know there's
00:42:35
always a side effect um and you know
00:42:38
normally it's it's phantom pain which
00:42:41
you can treat by doing myotherapy and
00:42:43
doing a whole lot of different therapy
00:42:45
yeah describe describe that to us
00:42:46
phantom pain so um my arm is still
00:42:48
sitting here that's because that's where
00:42:51
the brain last remembers it before it
00:42:53
was removed so my arm is still sitting
00:42:56
there um I can't because of my severe
00:43:00
phantom pain I can't actually open my
00:43:03
hand like I'm doing with this one so
00:43:06
like I'm going to try opening my hand
00:43:09
here your left handed y yeah and you'll
00:43:11
see me trying to open it you watch
00:43:15
here oh [ __ ] that's me trying to
00:43:21
open wow my
00:43:24
hand where I
00:43:26
like the muscles firing in your B your
00:43:28
left bicep yeah but it's it's trying to
00:43:31
open my hand where a yeah yeah it's
00:43:35
funny how the brain Associates things um
00:43:39
so yeah so yeah I have this pain and I
00:43:43
deal with it but I don't make it my
00:43:47
issue what do you mean I don't make it
00:43:50
my issue that I've got pain because how
00:43:53
what do you mean you don't make it your
00:43:54
issue well I don't want to make it my
00:43:56
life right okay you don't want it to
00:43:59
Define you so yeah no not at all so you
00:44:02
just you mean you don't make it your
00:44:04
issue you don't make it other people's
00:44:05
issues well both right you know I don't
00:44:07
want it to to drag me down I don't want
00:44:10
once again I don't want to go into that
00:44:13
position so think positive you know move
00:44:16
forward you know um so that's where yeah
00:44:20
I turned back to my
00:44:21
sport yes so okay yes so so you get back
00:44:24
home how long how long is the S of
00:44:26
recovery oh it's quite a while yeah
00:44:28
quite a while and this must have been a
00:44:30
frustrating time with lots of Tears CU
00:44:31
I'm thinking about things that you like
00:44:33
I mentioned before like you wearing a
00:44:34
button-up shirt today like I I don't
00:44:37
know how you do the buttons up oh it's
00:44:40
it's you know just
00:44:42
pretty yeah take a while to do it with
00:44:45
one hand I I probably won't be able to
00:44:47
do it now because you know no but you I
00:44:49
mean you've got a Sho on so you've
00:44:50
obviously done it or Owen's helped you
00:44:52
um okay other stuff tying shoelaces m
00:44:56
come on think about it
00:44:59
elastic I haven't got them on today but
00:45:02
you know I've got shoes like what you
00:45:04
you wear and I just wear the laces
00:45:06
slightly less loose okay so you slide
00:45:08
them on and off okay there you go
00:45:10
there's my Buton okay plugging in a
00:45:11
phone charger easy how do you do that
00:45:14
with the try it Dom come on man try it
00:45:18
okay I'm sorry I thought I was asking
00:45:20
some good questions here okay U no no no
00:45:24
seriously how do you PL how do you plug
00:45:25
in your phone charger with one um I just
00:45:27
get my phone I'll either stand it
00:45:29
upright and put the charger in or I'll
00:45:32
use the bench and put it on towards the
00:45:33
end of the bench and push it in you find
00:45:35
a way to do everything humans are
00:45:37
adaptable eh oh look mate I honestly
00:45:40
didn't and this was part of um my new
00:45:44
Journey that I wanted to
00:45:46
embrace having these challenges you know
00:45:48
I think you guys are the most boringest
00:45:50
buggers out because you just get up and
00:45:52
do the same things every day you guys as
00:45:54
in who you guys everybody else with with
00:45:57
two arms yeah excuse me that was you for
00:45:59
the first 55 years of your life don't be
00:46:01
so
00:46:02
smug now I have the best challenges
00:46:05
every day yeah you know I come across
00:46:07
challenges every day and I flame and
00:46:10
love it you know because I have to work
00:46:11
it out I can take the easy way like when
00:46:14
I first came out this the rehab would
00:46:16
bring around all these different things
00:46:18
you know this is the board that will
00:46:19
help you buddy your toast shares you put
00:46:21
this on here with these steel prongs you
00:46:24
know like nails upside
00:46:26
hold the toast and do all this mate
00:46:29
that's all in the wardrobe if anything
00:46:31
I've probably given it to other people
00:46:33
now I've never ever wanted to use
00:46:36
anything like that I've just wanted to
00:46:38
find my way you know um yeah I've done
00:46:41
my Buton up and I've undone it again now
00:46:43
because it's too bloody hot but um yeah
00:46:46
I've just wanted to find things my to do
00:46:48
my way and I have and that's what I say
00:46:51
you know I have these challenges every
00:46:53
day love them love them you know I still
00:46:57
get out I mow The Lawns I still hang the
00:46:59
washing on the line you know my husband
00:47:01
Owen was so great don't get me wrong he
00:47:04
was amazing but I had to say to him in
00:47:07
the end because he was always wanting to
00:47:09
help me and I'd have to say
00:47:11
hey can you please
00:47:14
stop um I want to do these if I need
00:47:17
help I will ask you but he was only
00:47:20
doing it Dom because he loves me and he
00:47:22
was trying to help me um and I was
00:47:25
probably a [ __ ] by saying that to him
00:47:28
but it was because I wanted not to rely
00:47:31
on anyone you know um you wanted that
00:47:34
Independence for sure yeah for sure um
00:47:39
you you well up when you talk about IR
00:47:40
don't you cuz he's been such a great
00:47:42
rock for me you know um like I say he
00:47:46
stood by me and supported me with
00:47:48
everything you know and even yeah but
00:47:50
come on what do you expect them to do
00:47:52
you with you're with someone for quarter
00:47:53
of a century and then they they freak
00:47:56
accident and lose an arm he'd be a piece
00:47:58
of [ __ ] if he walked out at that point
00:48:00
well if he did he'd be called a fair few
00:48:02
things I can tell you but you know I
00:48:05
know he'd never do that he's he's just
00:48:07
he's just he loves you he's my best mate
00:48:10
he's my other half you know literally I
00:48:14
feel like he's my other half he's there
00:48:15
all the time you know yeah we still have
00:48:18
the odd little bloody Tiff you know like
00:48:20
every married couple does but on a whole
00:48:23
we're we're 110% yeah you that's great
00:48:27
yeah yeah so so you get back home and
00:48:30
you're recovering and you're adapting to
00:48:32
life and I guess you're still adapting
00:48:33
to life now like with day-to-day
00:48:35
challenges that pop up but when do you
00:48:36
get the idea to um like embark on a
00:48:39
sporting career well like I say I I've
00:48:42
always dabbled in some sports so it was
00:48:44
about okay where do we go from here and
00:48:48
I thought you know I want to make this a
00:48:50
New Journey so I thought let's do
00:48:52
something
00:48:53
radical some people might call it stupid
00:48:56
Dom but I thought let's find a sport and
00:48:59
do something so instead of just aiming
00:49:01
for something small I thought I'm going
00:49:03
to aim for something big so I thought
00:49:06
right I'm going to try to get into a New
00:49:09
Zealand
00:49:10
team um in a sport that would have to
00:49:13
challenge me so like I say said before
00:49:16
I've dabbled in a bit of running and
00:49:17
I've dabbled in a bit of cycling but I
00:49:20
hate swimming with a passion absolutely
00:49:23
Lo it um so I thought
00:49:26
probably for one because I have to keep
00:49:27
my mouth shut to I so so I thought let's
00:49:31
try
00:49:32
Triathlon um so you know there was all
00:49:35
these things and these challenges and I
00:49:37
knew swimming was going to be my
00:49:39
challenge obviously you know I didn't
00:49:41
know if I was going to sink swim or go
00:49:42
in circles mate you know um so I just
00:49:46
jumped into that challenge so literally
00:49:49
a month to the day of having Stumpy
00:49:52
removed we went to Hawks Bay I didn't
00:49:55
want to to do it at home I wanted to be
00:49:58
out of my surroundings and just be
00:50:01
somewhere where I felt that nobody was
00:50:03
looking why because it was the first
00:50:06
time I was going to be in public and be
00:50:08
exposed you know for one woman and TOS
00:50:11
of you know it's not something we like
00:50:13
to do let alone with half a wing right
00:50:17
but for for anyone that's listening to
00:50:18
this that doesn't know that area of New
00:50:19
Zealand like you're talking like a 2hour
00:50:21
road trip
00:50:23
that's like from Fielding to Hogs it's a
00:50:26
couple of hours it's a oh my a long way
00:50:28
to go for half an hour in the pool but I
00:50:30
knew there was a good pool there and I
00:50:32
knew it was it was going to be quiet at
00:50:34
that sort of time so so away we trudgeon
00:50:37
and we decided it was going to be for a
00:50:39
weekend away as well you know okay okay
00:50:41
so um yeah way we trudgeon um Owen comes
00:50:44
into the pool with me I strip down um I
00:50:47
got my goggles and I hopped in the pool
00:50:50
and I was like how the freak am I going
00:50:52
to put these bloody goggles on there was
00:50:54
another new
00:50:55
straight
00:50:57
away hundreds of things like that every
00:50:59
day that you would so the first thing I
00:51:00
done was I got my goggles I stuck the
00:51:03
strap over my nose and I pulled it back
00:51:05
and I looked like Miss Piggy with my
00:51:07
nose in the Flaming ear but I pulled the
00:51:09
strap back and then I was able to adjust
00:51:11
my goggles yeah yeah and it was like
00:51:14
there's a challenge who else has tried
00:51:17
to do that you know um and I and I
00:51:20
overcame that challenge so the next
00:51:22
thing was to see if we could swim now I
00:51:25
had no flaming idea Dom how I was going
00:51:28
to go had no idea had no idea how Stumpy
00:51:32
was going to react to being put in
00:51:35
water yeah yeah I'm just trying to yeah
00:51:37
yeah yeah you know all these things um
00:51:40
that people probably just take for
00:51:42
granted but it was all new for me and
00:51:45
hence why I wanted to be in a
00:51:46
surroundings where nobody knew me so
00:51:48
that I could just give it a go if I
00:51:51
floundered if I sunk if I went in
00:51:53
circles nobody was going to see me that
00:51:55
I knew so yeah I just I said to ow film
00:51:59
this this is going to be
00:52:01
interesting so um he got my camera ready
00:52:04
and away I went I just instantly went
00:52:07
under the water pushed off the edge um
00:52:10
propelled this my right arm over and I
00:52:13
propelled forward threw Stumpy over and
00:52:16
I felt like I went flaming nowhere
00:52:18
because there was nothing there to pull
00:52:20
back you know um but I just kept
00:52:23
swimming with this arm and so were you
00:52:25
going were you going straight or were
00:52:27
you sort of veering well yeah yeah you
00:52:29
were going straight I I didn't feel like
00:52:31
I was but but yeah when I watched the
00:52:34
video cuz I concentrated on that bloody
00:52:37
black line you know that's always in the
00:52:39
pool um and so obviously my core was
00:52:42
doing a bit of work but we got to the
00:52:44
other end mate and I just came out from
00:52:47
under that water and once again it was
00:52:50
just a massive smile it was like yes you
00:52:54
know I've done that so yes here comes
00:52:56
the journey I know I can swim where do
00:52:58
we go from here how do I improve um how
00:53:01
do I include these three disciplines
00:53:04
into one um to make this journey happen
00:53:07
and that's where it started though
00:53:10
that's exactly where it started exactly
00:53:11
a month to the day after meeting Stumpy
00:53:14
how you guys have got kids he how old
00:53:16
are you kids Owen's got Owen's got kids
00:53:19
and I've got one um yeah that the young
00:53:22
well 34 now so they're all growing up so
00:53:25
they're all gone you know what what do
00:53:28
they make of um everything um honestly
00:53:32
they don't treat me any different yeah
00:53:34
yeah no but they must be [ __ ] proud
00:53:37
um I hope they are yeah I hope they are
00:53:39
yeah um is it not not a convers not a
00:53:42
conversation I've said it's not a
00:53:43
conversation I bring up is that just
00:53:46
sort of your your family you know talk
00:53:49
about myself I really don't really don't
00:53:52
feel comfortable talking about my
00:53:53
achievements because I do it for me
00:53:55
and I do it for Owen I want him to be
00:53:57
proud of me um yes I'd like um Owen's I
00:54:01
think Owen's family is proud of me I
00:54:03
don't know I don't I I I as I say it's
00:54:06
not a conversation I like to yeah hey
00:54:09
are you happy with what I'm doing are
00:54:11
you proud of me you know that's not
00:54:12
something I you no and it shouldn't be
00:54:14
your job to say that but I I feel like
00:54:16
to show to show such courage and
00:54:19
strength in such adversity I feel like
00:54:21
that's something that warrants saying to
00:54:23
someone you care about hey I'm really
00:54:25
I'm really proud of you I know um Owen's
00:54:27
son's son which is Owen's grandson Josh
00:54:31
I know he's proud of me we text quite
00:54:33
regularly they live in Australia and
00:54:35
Josh is one that you know I'm proud of
00:54:38
he's done well in rugby so I think it's
00:54:42
through the sport that we connect you
00:54:44
know and and he he'll quite often text
00:54:46
and say you know I'm proud of you Shaz
00:54:50
you know um so yeah I know he is and if
00:54:53
I can make him proud well you know
00:54:55
and likewise um so yeah yeah I think
00:54:58
they are proud of me yeah yeah sounds a
00:55:00
bit like my family we don't we don't
00:55:01
necessarily you know tell each other
00:55:03
these things with words but I feel like
00:55:05
sometimes you should exactly I you know
00:55:07
I was always bought up we were never
00:55:09
told we were loved we were never cuddle
00:55:11
you're just supposed to know it you know
00:55:12
we would that wasn't our family
00:55:15
Dynamics um yeah it just wasn't in us so
00:55:19
when I went to the farm you know it was
00:55:20
a totally different ball game you know
00:55:22
my my Auntie and Uncle would come up and
00:55:24
give Kettle you know that was all new to
00:55:26
me you know um so yeah things changed
00:55:30
the Dynamics changed yeah but yeah not
00:55:33
it wasn't a that sort of Lifestyle yeah
00:55:36
so what's the first event that you do so
00:55:38
you go to go to Hawks Bay have a have a
00:55:39
gut swimming and you think right I'm
00:55:40
going to about to do this so then what I
00:55:42
do is it just like a standard Triathlon
00:55:44
or is it a what length um yeah it was
00:55:47
just you know I I actually I went from
00:55:52
trying to swim to entering the New
00:55:55
Zealand um
00:55:58
par um championships or national
00:56:01
championships um went along to that um
00:56:05
and there was you know there was only
00:56:06
about three or four of us because it's
00:56:08
not a lot um yeah and I won that and
00:56:12
that was the start so I decided right
00:56:15
here we go this is how we start earning
00:56:18
points and getting
00:56:20
into um the paralympic rankings
00:56:23
situation so um yeah it started there
00:56:26
and then of course the next thing you
00:56:27
had to go to your Oceania which was in
00:56:31
Australia um went over there I got
00:56:34
Sila um so the pro the progress and the
00:56:37
progression was starting to happen and I
00:56:40
was loving it you know um Shane and
00:56:42
Tammy Reed were coaches in Fielding um
00:56:46
Shane was a um Olympic triathlete
00:56:50
himself um I don't know if you've heard
00:56:52
him um you've only got to Google the
00:56:54
beij Jing the Olympics and Shane's the
00:56:57
first one out of the water and man he's
00:56:59
he's a weapon right um unfortunately
00:57:01
Shane's passed away um he had brain
00:57:04
cancer and passed away you know not so
00:57:07
long ago well when we say 12 months
00:57:09
coming up um so yeah it's but Shane was
00:57:13
just one of those humble guys and
00:57:15
Tammy's wife she was a um
00:57:18
National um triathlete herself and she
00:57:21
decided to get into
00:57:22
coaching so they came on board they
00:57:25
started coaching me so that's where we
00:57:26
started yeah so that's swimming and then
00:57:29
um and running you so you had some
00:57:31
running um experience beforehand is
00:57:33
running just the same what's the
00:57:34
difference um so no Shane and Tammy got
00:57:36
me into a coaching program and they
00:57:38
coached me for swimming running yeah and
00:57:41
um biking um no run running as as an UT
00:57:45
is is it oh mate weird is it weird
00:57:50
seriously in terms of what you know um
00:57:53
put it this way the first run I went
00:57:54
went out with Tammy I didn't know how I
00:57:57
was going to react I didn't know how
00:57:58
Stumpy was going to react it was
00:58:00
freaking painful because of the the
00:58:02
jarring oh okay the jarring it was just
00:58:06
horrible M but I wasn't going to let
00:58:08
Tammy know that so Tammy would run on
00:58:10
this side she said I'll run on the right
00:58:12
hand side she ass cuz I don't want to be
00:58:13
anywhere near Stumpy I said thanks um
00:58:16
we'd be running along down the road next
00:58:18
minute the bit she'd give me a whack you
00:58:20
know Tammy's only a little short ass and
00:58:23
it's nothing of a fit little lean mean
00:58:25
machine and um next minute she'd give me
00:58:27
a whack on the shoulder and I'd say
00:58:28
what's that for and she'd say move over
00:58:31
you're veing
00:58:33
out oh cuz the imbalance oh that's
00:58:36
interesting isn't it you now I only had
00:58:39
1.75 kilos taken off right when I lost
00:58:42
the my arm but that 1.75 kilos Dom made
00:58:47
a huge difference in my
00:58:50
balance who would have thought well I
00:58:52
wouldn't have thought that yeah it makes
00:58:53
sense though yeah totally so that's the
00:58:56
that's the running what about the um the
00:58:57
the cycling so you just do you cycle
00:58:59
with just one hand on the bar so I
00:59:01
started off just on a road bike um and
00:59:04
then we progressed obviously to a TT
00:59:07
bike to start International racing with
00:59:10
um and that's where the obviously first
00:59:12
of all how was I going to ride a tt b
00:59:14
with the aob bars uh so um the limb
00:59:17
Center was like phone call to the Lim
00:59:19
center now honestly they must every time
00:59:22
they hear shaz's making an appointment
00:59:24
they must roll their eyes and think oh
00:59:26
God what's she coming at us with at this
00:59:28
time but um they came up with this
00:59:32
rarely rad idea of making a cup for
00:59:34
Stumpy to sit in so I'd sit stumpy in
00:59:37
this um and I'd be down here like this
00:59:40
okay so that's how we managed to get
00:59:42
around riding on an aob bike on a TT
00:59:46
bike
00:59:48
um and that's that's how we progressed
00:59:50
on that but it was once again it was all
00:59:52
about balance because I couldn't put
00:59:54
pressure down in that cup because of the
00:59:56
pain in the end of my stump so we had
00:59:59
cotton wool we had Lamb's wool we had
01:00:02
foam we had so much in there to stop any
01:00:05
jarring um but yeah we we got around it
01:00:08
and that's how my bike is still set up
01:00:11
today um and they're just actually
01:00:13
looking it's cuz it's all made of carbon
01:00:16
at the moment they're just starting to
01:00:18
look at a new way of being able to do a
01:00:20
3D printed one so it's lighter and a
01:00:23
little bit more Flex in it for me so um
01:00:26
yeah they're amazing down there at the
01:00:28
limb Center in Wellington freaking cool
01:00:30
clever guys so when when able-bodied
01:00:33
people do these um these sort of events
01:00:35
there pain that you have like there's
01:00:37
pain on your lungs pain in your legs
01:00:39
whatever what extra pain do you have
01:00:41
above and beyond that um is it just
01:00:43
Stumpy stump like a burning sensation or
01:00:46
throbbing or she's firing right yeah
01:00:48
when I say she he he's firing you know
01:00:50
he's been a typical male a right prick
01:00:53
you know um just been a pain in the ass
01:00:56
literally you know real pain it's it's
01:00:59
it's a pain that you can't describe
01:01:02
D
01:01:04
um yeah it's it's not a pain
01:01:08
that I can describe to people because
01:01:11
people wouldn't believe
01:01:12
it um but you know I I've found ways of
01:01:18
just getting getting out there doing
01:01:20
things I feel if I'm doing something and
01:01:22
keeping active it um helping with that
01:01:26
pain even though I'm in pain and I'm
01:01:29
causing myself pain
01:01:32
mentally I feel like that and physically
01:01:35
that I'm helping that pain yeah you're
01:01:37
making yourself stronger building
01:01:38
resilience yeah but how do you um like
01:01:41
how do you how do how do you block that
01:01:42
out like do you do you have mantras or
01:01:44
anything or do you um I just you know I
01:01:46
have got a mantra um yeah and I my man
01:01:49
is I may only have one Wing but I can
01:01:52
still
01:01:53
fly and that's what I have I have to say
01:01:55
to myself or when I am in this pain I
01:01:59
just say don't give in it comes from
01:02:02
within and when I say within I mean it's
01:02:05
what's in your heart you know if we
01:02:07
really want something we'll dig deep and
01:02:11
we'll do it you know we'll find a way
01:02:15
but we have to find that way nobody else
01:02:17
will do it for
01:02:19
us so so that pain that you're talking
01:02:21
about is that only when you're like
01:02:22
competing and pushing it or is that
01:02:24
training as well every it's everyday
01:02:26
pain I'm in that pain every day mate so
01:02:29
when you're in when you're um this is
01:02:31
the first time you know you're a prick
01:02:33
because you're making me open up about
01:02:35
it do don't to get the tissues I can get
01:02:37
the tissues no I I don't want tissues
01:02:39
that's a sign of weakness it's no I
01:02:42
don't no I don't seriously it's it's
01:02:45
because um it's from the heart you know
01:02:51
um I I don't talk about the pain people
01:02:55
don't understand or know that I'm in
01:02:57
because I've learned to hide that but
01:02:59
should
01:03:00
you um I don't want people to see me
01:03:03
weak no that's a weakness to me yeah and
01:03:07
I don't want to be weak Dum yeah I want
01:03:09
to be that strong
01:03:11
person you know don't get me wrong I
01:03:13
have some days at
01:03:14
home where I'm weak you when like when
01:03:18
you when you're trying I'm thinking
01:03:20
again I'm probably projecting here but
01:03:22
if I was you and I was on that
01:03:23
stationary bike in the garage on [ __ ]
01:03:25
peton or whatever for 3 hours and it was
01:03:28
it was hurting every second I'd probably
01:03:30
have I'd probably cry to myself I have
01:03:33
do you I have done yep yep you know I'm
01:03:35
set up in the shed um I'm not like some
01:03:38
people that you know have their bike sit
01:03:40
up in the lounge that's to me that my
01:03:43
inside of my home is home my training if
01:03:46
I have to train on outside is in the
01:03:48
shed I keep that those two lives
01:03:50
separate um so yeah you know there are
01:03:53
those sessions where you have to sit on
01:03:55
that flaming bike getting numb bum and
01:03:57
you know every other department you know
01:03:59
in a uncomfortable State um out in a
01:04:03
shed and yeah there are times that yeah
01:04:06
I I I do cry and I and I think it's more
01:04:08
just because it it gets overwhelming
01:04:10
it's all too much or yeah yeah some days
01:04:12
I do I feel like throwing that session
01:04:15
in but I know that at the end of that
01:04:18
session if I didn't do that session you
01:04:20
know what it's like when you're a runner
01:04:22
some days you don't want to go out for a
01:04:23
run
01:04:24
but when you come back [ __ ] you feel
01:04:26
good right feel way better afterwards
01:04:27
yeah you do and that's how I feel about
01:04:30
if I was to cut that session short I
01:04:33
wouldn't feel right it wouldn't sit good
01:04:36
you know um and I'd probably have to go
01:04:39
back out later into it again cuz the
01:04:41
guilts eating you up yeah for sure for
01:04:44
sure and you you'd understand that yeah
01:04:47
100% 100% but what what I'm dealing with
01:04:49
is not this extra level of adversity or
01:04:53
or pain you know you know what I mean M
01:04:55
there's um there's that yeah that term
01:04:57
putting yourself in the pain cave which
01:04:59
uh anyone that's done any sort of
01:05:01
physical activity will understand but
01:05:02
then but you know that that pain is
01:05:04
going to go yeah yeah pain no but what
01:05:07
I'm saying sh is your pain doesn't go
01:05:09
like no it's it's constantly there and
01:05:12
then when you're doing the exercise it
01:05:13
just gets worse yeah it's rough MH it's
01:05:16
a rough hand to be do su sucks mate but
01:05:20
um you know I choose
01:05:23
to you know move forward yeah that's any
01:05:27
way to go isn't it oh for sure you know
01:05:30
um yeah you know there are some days um
01:05:35
ow and may have gone out in the
01:05:36
afternoon or something and I've finished
01:05:39
training and I'll go inside and yeah I
01:05:42
do I'll have a cry but it's to myself I
01:05:45
won't show that yeah why don't you out
01:05:48
of all the people you could show it to
01:05:49
him right would he understand oh
01:05:52
absolutely you just preferred it you
01:05:53
just prefer to deal with the stuff on
01:05:55
your own I'm juste yeah I I I don't like
01:05:58
to show that side of me why is an
01:06:00
embarrassment thing or a pride thing
01:06:02
pride thing I think you know I don't
01:06:04
want to be seen as that weak
01:06:08
B um yeah but every yeah I mean I I you
01:06:14
know what I don't even know I but I feel
01:06:15
like he if he ever listens to this he'll
01:06:18
probably hear this and be frustrated
01:06:19
that you don't lean on him a little bit
01:06:20
more probably but he knows that you know
01:06:23
he he I think he knows it
01:06:27
um I know he's here if I need him he's
01:06:30
always there um so I yeah he I think
01:06:35
he's learned now just you know don't
01:06:38
don't 30 years don't even ask her you
01:06:41
know just roll your eyes and go oh here
01:06:44
we go again you know here she you know
01:06:46
um I think he's sort of got used to
01:06:49
me
01:06:50
um and I say that in the way that I
01:06:53
think he's got used to my ways my new
01:06:55
ways
01:06:57
yeah so like who do you talk to about
01:07:00
this you like you know you're talking to
01:07:02
me today about it but you talk to anyone
01:07:03
else about it no this is the first time
01:07:06
I've really opened up Don so you you've
01:07:08
been freaking privileged you buer um you
01:07:11
know I I don't open up yeah but it's
01:07:14
good I Sharon like it don't you dare
01:07:18
Sheron as I said I'm only get called
01:07:20
that when my mother tells me off but you
01:07:23
know um
01:07:24
it's not a therapy session you know but
01:07:27
I feel I can open up to you because I
01:07:29
feel that I you can relate yeah um you
01:07:32
know you've had some [ __ ] times in your
01:07:34
life but as as I said earlier like from
01:07:37
doing this podcast like almost two years
01:07:39
now every single person has has or will
01:07:42
go through some sort of adversity it's
01:07:43
all on a different level but uh and it's
01:07:46
how we want to progress with that
01:07:49
adversity or if we want to progress some
01:07:52
people can some people can't H yeah I
01:07:55
mean you you can you can easily make
01:07:56
yourself a victim and no one no one
01:07:58
would no one would begrudge you you
01:07:59
you've got every right in the world to
01:08:01
but it's like it's not going to help you
01:08:02
grow is it it's not it's not going to
01:08:04
help me or my journey you know my
01:08:07
journey is about having the best life
01:08:10
and mate I am yeah even though I have
01:08:13
this pain um you know as I say
01:08:17
um it's not about that it's about my
01:08:21
journey and how exciting that you're on
01:08:23
the the I suppose the downward slide of
01:08:25
life on the the Apex you know you're
01:08:27
your second half of your life but it's
01:08:29
also like a new beginning oh it's the
01:08:31
best part of my life yeah you know um I
01:08:34
would never have achieved or done half
01:08:37
of the things I've done Dom if I hadn't
01:08:40
a met Stumpy yeah you you could have
01:08:41
though hey why wouldn't you have though
01:08:43
oh mate I wouldn't have been able to
01:08:45
travel the world like I have no no but
01:08:47
you you could have and it would have
01:08:48
been considerably easier like doing
01:08:49
things like Triathlon or swimming or
01:08:51
Coast to Coast um but
01:08:54
you you you waited until things got very
01:08:57
very difficult for yourself before you
01:08:58
decided to but but that's what makes
01:09:01
challenge even more rewarding yeah you
01:09:04
know um and like I say it's always been
01:09:06
about if one person can see me doing it
01:09:10
and it encourages them to get out and do
01:09:12
something I feel like I've achieved what
01:09:15
I've set out to do D oh I think there's
01:09:18
there's more than one you make yeah a
01:09:19
lot of people feel like sex is [ __ ] well
01:09:22
I don't mean to do that I really really
01:09:25
that's not my intention Dom don't go
01:09:28
that far um yeah no it's more yeah I
01:09:31
just if I can encourage others yeah just
01:09:34
you know just because we're challenged
01:09:35
there's no reason why we cannot still
01:09:39
succeed at things and it doesn't have to
01:09:42
be mad radical things like I've done
01:09:45
just small
01:09:47
steps you know small steps make lead to
01:09:50
bigger steps don't they yeah absolutely
01:09:53
and and you oh Coast to Coast we haven't
01:09:55
even talked Coast to Coast so you've
01:09:56
done Coast to Coast as like part of a
01:09:58
team and next year you're going to have
01:10:00
a crack at it as a solo so you do the
01:10:02
two-day event so or on your own yeah
01:10:04
it'll be a two it'll be the two-day
01:10:05
event um so Coast to Coast um starts
01:10:08
early on a Saturday morning shortest
01:10:11
bike ride then a massive sort of 30-ish
01:10:13
K Mountain Run y uh then you sleep and
01:10:16
then the next day a bike ride again big
01:10:19
kayak and a big bike ride yeah that's it
01:10:21
yeah now the I've I've um I've never
01:10:23
done the coast to coast but I have done
01:10:25
um the the Run segment of the coast to
01:10:28
coast as a guide and it's a a thing
01:10:30
called goats pass I'm just wondering how
01:10:33
how you would you would do that because
01:10:35
I'm a runner it's not even really a run
01:10:37
you do like you're scrambling over rocks
01:10:39
you're waiting through um you know chest
01:10:42
deep water Y how do you how are you
01:10:44
going do numerous River Crossings um you
01:10:47
know it all depends on the river that
01:10:49
that day and the river levels I can't
01:10:51
imagine how you do that that run um
01:10:54
without two two hands oh look scrambling
01:10:57
up rocks and don't get me wrong my time
01:10:58
was slowed on because I literally I went
01:11:02
down there not knowing I wanted to go
01:11:04
into a blind um and just experience the
01:11:08
unknown um so when I got down there yeah
01:11:11
and started the goat pass it was like
01:11:14
okay and then there was Parts where it
01:11:16
was like holy [ __ ] balls you know I have
01:11:18
to literally stop and watch the Able
01:11:22
Body scramble over and then go how the
01:11:25
freak am I going to do this yeah did you
01:11:28
have you have someone with you that's
01:11:29
like um lifting you up with a hand or
01:11:31
giving you a push on the night nope I
01:11:33
didn't want any support the only time I
01:11:35
had a support person that was Brett in
01:11:38
the kayak uh you had a a double k yes
01:11:42
and that was purely for safety reasons
01:11:44
right um you know the the the organizers
01:11:46
of coasta Coast which I fully understand
01:11:49
and respect yeah oh Al how does how does
01:11:51
the kayak work in terms of um
01:11:54
so once again the limb Center came up
01:11:56
with some NE I met this awesome bird
01:11:58
Alex um the F when I first went down
01:12:01
there and done it um Brett who was a
01:12:04
plumber the limb Center came up with a
01:12:07
socket and a hun of pipe that stuck out
01:12:09
like this Brett being a plumber he
01:12:12
walked into the shop and said we need to
01:12:14
find something that's going to hook over
01:12:15
your paddle so he found a um like a hose
01:12:19
half a hose clip like this steel hose
01:12:21
clip M he screwed that in there on the
01:12:25
end and then he got two $1 rubber
01:12:28
O-rings we put this the socket and this
01:12:32
clamp on my pedal and he used these two
01:12:34
$1 O-rings to hold it on that's how we
01:12:38
got down the Y Macer River of a 70 Cas
01:12:41
so so so your left um your left stump is
01:12:43
attached to the pedal what happens if
01:12:45
you if you ass out I'm stuck on with my
01:12:48
paddle Stumpy and I like this
01:12:51
yeah um so
01:12:54
so yeah so Brett done that and then
01:12:57
um because I decided I wanted to have a
01:13:00
go um I was very very lucky to have
01:13:02
Brett honestly um if it wasn't for him I
01:13:05
wouldn't have got down there but I I had
01:13:08
the cruisy part I sat in the back of the
01:13:10
kayak just you know um a lot of time
01:13:13
Breck didn't know I was in
01:13:16
tears because I was in so much
01:13:19
pain with having to put Stumpy and use
01:13:23
the force of the
01:13:25
pedal so um yeah say every stroke hurt
01:13:29
so every time every stroke I'd sort of
01:13:31
think it's one less stroke you have to
01:13:34
do Shaz just keep going it's one less
01:13:36
you got to do so yeah um he didn't know
01:13:40
or wasn't aware that a lot of the time I
01:13:42
was crying but of course you'd see the
01:13:45
photographer and you'd go yay hi as you
01:13:49
do um but yeah so so we got down there
01:13:52
but when we we got back and I decided I
01:13:55
wanted to have a go at doing the coast
01:13:58
completely solo because I didn't feel
01:14:00
like I'd achieved it
01:14:02
solo because I was in a double kayak so
01:14:05
yeah I contacted coast and they approved
01:14:08
me to do it on the condition that I have
01:14:11
somebody in another kayak behind me just
01:14:14
shadowing me oh yeah which I fully get
01:14:17
once again so I've got Duncan who's
01:14:19
coming along um and he's been on pretty
01:14:23
much of the kayak Journey with me um and
01:14:26
he's going to come down and be my
01:14:28
support person so honestly Dom will I be
01:14:32
able to do the kayak section and finish
01:14:35
the event I really really don't know ah
01:14:37
but giving it a red hot crack right y y
01:14:39
you don't know unless you try right yeah
01:14:41
so yeah yeah phib here we come how good
01:14:45
and I'm not sure when this podcast is
01:14:47
going to come out but um November 18 mhm
01:14:51
uh 2023 you in to kayak the length of
01:14:54
take Lake Tapo which is 46 K yeah so if
01:14:57
you can do the coast to coast that'll be
01:14:59
would this be easy no um so so this is
01:15:02
toally by the way I say easy like you
01:15:05
just sit there and call Easy dud yeah
01:15:08
you're looking at someone that gets in a
01:15:10
kayak for five minutes when they're in
01:15:11
Fiji and then gets bored shitless so I'm
01:15:13
sorry 46 K is never how long would that
01:15:15
take you and well I just done a um sort
01:15:18
of a bit of a wacky just last week
01:15:20
actually and went to TPO and I've done
01:15:24
36 K in um just under four hours you
01:15:27
might as well say but it's totally
01:15:30
different than on the river because the
01:15:31
river you've still got the river flow
01:15:33
which is yeah the Rapids pushing you
01:15:34
along yeah yeah that's why I wondered if
01:15:35
it was like easier than so no I I I find
01:15:39
this harder because on the lake because
01:15:41
you're literally having to propel
01:15:44
yourself along aren't you right so um
01:15:47
yeah it's going to be big ask but if um
01:15:50
I decided I wanted to do this to try and
01:15:52
raise funds for kidney kids oh yeah cuz
01:15:55
you've only got one kidney yeah yeah
01:15:57
when did you discover that oh a few
01:15:58
years back now right right but um just
01:16:01
so you went through all your you you got
01:16:02
through all your early years till middle
01:16:04
age or whatever and what does it mean
01:16:06
only having one
01:16:07
kidney nothing yeah I've got one arm so
01:16:12
I might as well have one kidney right
01:16:14
just call me you know
01:16:17
halfer but um yeah you're like brisos
01:16:20
50% off exactly um but you no yeah it I
01:16:24
hasn't altered me but I just sort of
01:16:27
think well it's some I wanted to give
01:16:29
back to somebody or some charity so it
01:16:33
was obviously kidney kids came to my
01:16:36
light and it was like well you know if I
01:16:39
can help do something for these kids I'd
01:16:41
like to so so yeah they've set up a give
01:16:43
a little page um under Limitless shares
01:16:47
and um we're trying to raise some funds
01:16:50
for them so yeah hopefully we can um um
01:16:53
and I'm also going to do that for coast
01:16:55
to coast as well so I'm doing it for
01:16:57
them yeah how good oh that's great it's
01:17:00
a hell of a story it's a good story yeah
01:17:04
it is good it is good he yeah totally I
01:17:06
mean I love my I love my new Journey
01:17:08
mate I really do I'm in sort of I'm in
01:17:10
sort of two minds about it because it's
01:17:12
um you know had you had you after the
01:17:15
accident had you left the arm which was
01:17:17
useless and ornamental for all intent
01:17:19
and purpose I mean you wouldn't have had
01:17:22
the pain that you're in now possibly not
01:17:25
but that but we don't know that pain
01:17:27
could have eventuated yeah to a higher
01:17:29
intensity as it went on as well Dom so I
01:17:31
don't know it's that what if um but why
01:17:36
wait for that what if you don't know so
01:17:39
you know like I said move on Cut The
01:17:42
bugger off yeah and you did you
01:17:46
definitely did and when you when you
01:17:48
stand in front of the marinaire like you
01:17:50
like what you see abely you love the new
01:17:52
sh here oh for sure yeah yeah for sure I
01:17:55
mean I'm still me yeah you know um I
01:17:58
haven't changed well even new and
01:18:00
improved I mean the things you're doing
01:18:01
now like you never did it before I'm a
01:18:03
better person I honestly believe I'm a
01:18:05
better person yeah do you yep yeah I
01:18:07
really do I really do think I'm a better
01:18:10
person I mean physically you're fitter
01:18:11
but what do you mean better though uh
01:18:13
mentally yeah I mean I was never
01:18:17
mentally um
01:18:20
unwell but I just feel like mentally
01:18:22
I've got strong stronger um more
01:18:26
resilient um but I never really thought
01:18:28
about that but it's just yeah I'm a
01:18:32
better me totally um I feel a better
01:18:36
person I love who I am I love Yeah
01:18:40
stumpy in I we're
01:18:42
one yeah we're
01:18:45
one and I I believe you when you say you
01:18:47
wouldn't you wouldn't change it no not
01:18:51
at all no
01:18:53
I would never turn the clock back how
01:18:55
good if that accident had never happened
01:18:57
with the the the gate and the go I
01:18:59
wouldn't be who I am today yeah yeah
01:19:00
what do you think your life would look
01:19:01
like now have you ever paused to reflect
01:19:03
on that just just going through the
01:19:04
motions yeah I'd just be a normal person
01:19:07
like you how Bloody boring right so
01:19:10
boring well there's a lot there's a line
01:19:11
from a movie I really like um sh Shank
01:19:13
Redemption yes um the line is like get
01:19:15
busy living or get busy dying I suppose
01:19:18
like and I I don't say this in a mean
01:19:20
way I'm probably busy dying and probably
01:19:22
99 % of people are like you're just
01:19:24
going through motion I suppose now
01:19:26
you're getting getting busy living yeah
01:19:28
totally I am I'm really living now yeah
01:19:32
I I'm living I'm loving my living I'm
01:19:34
loving my life I love who I am um I'm
01:19:39
proud of
01:19:40
myself yeah could you say that
01:19:43
beforehand no I can sit here now and
01:19:46
yeah it's the first time I've probably
01:19:48
even said that D you know Jesus you're a
01:19:51
prick you're really making
01:19:53
I've done nothing you know um yeah yeah
01:19:56
I I can honestly say I'm proud of myself
01:19:58
and that's the first time I've said that
01:20:00
man that's cool and are you enjoying I
01:20:03
mean um I was going to say the the level
01:20:05
of Fame you've got now but there's I
01:20:06
mean there's not really there was a
01:20:07
story in the woman you've had a story on
01:20:09
the women's day I saw there's a great
01:20:10
piece that um the attitude TV show did
01:20:12
on you there's been a couple of podcasts
01:20:14
and bits and pieces but yeah you're
01:20:16
enjoying this um and oh you've done some
01:20:19
keynote speaking and some public
01:20:20
speaking as well yeah yeah I mean who
01:20:22
would have thought that right you know
01:20:24
who the hell would have thought I would
01:20:25
be standing up talking to 350 people
01:20:28
looking at all these eyes looking at you
01:20:30
you know you know what it's like um it's
01:20:34
it's a whole new world isn't it you know
01:20:36
and I would never have had all these
01:20:38
opportunities D never so um you're
01:20:42
you're the architect of that though you
01:20:43
created it I mean you could have your
01:20:44
arm lobbed off and go to yourself well
01:20:47
this is this is the end this is the end
01:20:48
of life I know it but for you it was
01:20:50
like and you've literally you know put
01:20:53
this into action you've made it a new
01:20:55
beginning yeah I have yeah yeah you've
01:20:57
done that um I wasn't living
01:21:00
before but I am now yeah like I say you
01:21:04
know um my Mantra to myself is I may
01:21:07
only have one Wing but I can still fly
01:21:10
and I think everybody should have a
01:21:12
mantra that they should live up to I'm
01:21:15
sure you've got one have
01:21:17
you yeah this one this one I really like
01:21:21
um there's a guy called haes he's on a
01:21:23
lot of podcasts he's an American Bow
01:21:24
Hunter and an ultra distance Runner I
01:21:26
don't know if he came up with this or if
01:21:28
it's just a thing but his slogan is um
01:21:29
nobody cares work harder and what it
01:21:32
means is um like I suppose in your
01:21:34
situation you could be like oh if you
01:21:35
know palis North Hospital didn't do this
01:21:37
then I would have had my arm and it's
01:21:39
like no one cares just work harder and I
01:21:41
feel like you epitomize that oh oh
01:21:43
thanks yeah thanks you know you you can
01:21:45
sit around bitching about it or you can
01:21:47
just get on the bike and suck it up get
01:21:48
on get on with life you know we only
01:21:51
have one chance right
01:21:53
make the flame and most of it honestly
01:21:55
well there's another quote I really like
01:21:57
it's um you have um two lives and the
01:21:59
second life only begins when you realize
01:22:01
you actually only have one y yeah and
01:22:03
I'm so pleased that you're making the
01:22:04
most of it yeah honestly wouldn't turn
01:22:06
the clock back yeah and thank you so
01:22:08
much for sharing your story not a
01:22:10
problem at all you've you made me open
01:22:12
up so um yeah you did Dom so thanks well
01:22:17
I appreciate it now I'm going to take
01:22:18
you back to the airport and let's hope
01:22:19
um let's hope the plane has two Wings
01:22:21
what's your thing about wing and flying
01:22:24
what's that what's your what's your
01:22:25
quote about wings and flying I mainly
01:22:27
have One Wing I only have I might only
01:22:29
have one Wing but I can still fly well
01:22:32
let's hope the plane has two bloody
01:22:34
wigs I'm sure it will do Shar dig from
01:22:38
Fielding Limitless um all the best for
01:22:41
the future Coast to Coast Lake toppo and
01:22:44
whatever challenges you you cook up next
01:22:46
and I'm sure these going to be many yeah
01:22:47
for sure thanks so much Dom it's been
01:22:49
pleasure to be
01:22:51
here
01:22:59
a
