00:00:07
Sharon dig welcome to my podcast thanks mate how are you I'm good thanks so Sharon de is your name um you're B ONN
00:00:14
as shares de uh also Limitless Limitless yep for sure yeah and it's great to have you here how long you how
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long you been shares is this like a nickname that's followed you around through life um yeah I've been Shar for
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a few years now just a few mate started calling me that and it's just sort of
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stuck you know so um yeah I only get called Sharon now when my mother tells me off so um yeah it's just sort of
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stuck yeah yeah I like and what about Limitless okay Limitless well that was so cool um the team down at the
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Wellington limb Center came up with that one day um they knew what I was sort of
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going to be starting to get into and what I was going to get up to um and try and attempt and they came one day I went
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down there for an appointment and they came up and said we found a name for your shares so um yeah I thought it was
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pretty pretty cool actually Dan Co I like it it's a good play on words sure for sure hey by the way you you seem
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very nervous all of a sudden I I picked you up I booked you a flight I picked you up from the airport I think you
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called me dumbass about three times on the right into town now you seem nervous all of a sudden oh well I don't know
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what you're going to bloody ask me for a started Dom but come on man well it's
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your story and it's a hell of a story and I think it's inspirational um and the adversity
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you've been through it's something that one thing I've learned on this podcast
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un shes is that everyone even people that you least expected from have some sort of
00:01:34
adversity that they're dealing with absolutely so when you when you meet someone like you that's been through
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some a whole lot of stuff especially at this age and stage of life like what are
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you trying to say about stage and age middle age middle age that's all right
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yeah lucky you're lucky um it just lets other people know well the [ __ ] that I'm
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dealing with right now if Sharon can get through this then I can get through whatever I'm going through so I think
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it's really cool yeah so you got nothing to worry about although there are some
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very big questions okay there's not okay so um I think to paint a picture of um
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you know who you are now and what you've been through we should go right back to
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the beginning so um tell us about shar's like pre-accident you were you were
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quite fit beforehand you did some events and things um I used to dabble around you know and I loved my sport always
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love my sport from a young kid um but I used to dabble around in a little bit of
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running um and a little bit of cycling and that was about it like what sort of distance runs oh you know never done
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anything more than a 10K or a half marathon you know um and I was never ever the best or
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anything like that up there at the top it was just more about keeping active you know and being in with my mates um
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we we were pretty active mates you know um and just done a lot of stuff together
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and but yeah nothing nothing major at all and and in terms of your like personality and mindset like
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pre-accident did you just have that sort of grit and determination um I don't
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think it was nowhere near as what it is now um yeah I I think it was just go with the flow and have a good time
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before um whereas now it's like you know what you can do better um and and that's what I enjoy
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about it this journey is just about doing stuff for me but hopefully encouraging
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others um and that's that's been my motto the whole time that all I've
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wanted to do is um if people can see me out there doing it hopefully it'll give
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them a bit of encouragement you know you s of think well what's my excuse exactly
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you know well hey if she can do it that one winged old Chuck can do it there's
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no reason why I can't so yeah it's it's more round about that that was my whole
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um idea of wanting to sort of do these sort of activities was to try and push awareness that you know just because
00:03:46
we're challenged doesn't mean to say we can't still succeed I I I get the
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feeling you you would have always been a stubborn [ __ ] though even pre been a stubborn [ __ ] all my life ask my
00:03:55
husband for one um you know he'll tell you that yeah you can't you can't be you
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can't be that stubbing though he's stuck around you haven't scared him off look
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honestly I would not have been able to do half of what I've done if it wasn't
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for Owen you know he's he's a pretty cool supportive dude um very very lucky
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to have him by my side yeah by the way from our from our dealings um getting this podcast off the ground um you're
00:04:18
you're one of those nauseating couples that have a a joined email address yeah
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I know right I mean it was you know back in the day when you first got your email
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everybody says what do you do oh you just put your names down so it was like Owen and Sharon you know and it's like
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wish now I could change it to Owen and shares or you know but that's what youve
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done everybody done it and we've never changed it no I like that I and what about even earlier um speaking of your
00:04:43
you know pre-accident and your stubbornness I heard one podcast you did and did you have like a falling out with
00:04:49
your parents and you got shipped off to Family Farm or something I did were were
00:04:53
you were you I was a [ __ ] mate to my were you a real piece of work yeah I was I was a real [ __ ] I I gave my parents a
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hard time what way was it phly standard sort of teenage stuff yeah I was a bit of a rebellion and um bit of trouble you
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know got myself into a bit of trouble and that but it was I was you know so lucky I had an Auntie and Uncle in the
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man or two that lived on a farm and they said sh come and live with us um and I've never looked back yeah so so you
00:05:19
you were um sort of born and raised in Topo area and then um shipped to the family farm near
00:05:25
ohaka yeah yeah yeah Jesus you've done your homework yeah I had so I I picked
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up on this cuz I've never heard you elaborate on it what's that of age like
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14 15 um yeah I was about 15 yeah yeah so so real chance of you going off the rails at that point oh for sure yeah um
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and that's when my auntie and uncle came along and yeah best thing that could
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have ever happened to me just being down on the farm out in the open you know um
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learning different stuff just working on the farm absolutely loved it changed my
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life for the right direction yeah yeah so you you look back now as a as a woman in your late 50s days um what do you
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what do you think of the uh the teenage year just like harmless harmless fun with your friends or yeah yeah it was a
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bit and then um yeah I I went to that extra extreme of you know doing a bit of stealing and um paying the consequences
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you know um which was good because being caught you know obviously it sets you on the straighten
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Arrow it gives you a fraking good fright you know yeah I was a [ __ ] I was an absolute
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bloody I was a right M may but but you you say that now and it's like you obviously had um you're obviously a good
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person yourself and you obviously had like good you know family networks and supports you think of like the ram
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Raiders and the crimes that are going on now at the same sort of age that Youth Level the police take them back home and
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the families for the most part don't care yeah um yeah no I I had a great you
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know family Network around me once I got down here to the man or two um and yeah
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I mean I was I'm the middle child you know Black Sheep shall we say Obviously
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and um you know I've got a um older brother and they're a couple of years
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older than me he's done extremely well in life I've got a younger sister she's
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done extremely well in life but I've sort of done nothing to there you know um well what have they done oh my
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brother's got a an amazing super um upholstery business over in Australia that he started uh my sister's done
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extremely well in the nursing sector and she's doing extremely well you know and
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I'm proud of them both don't get me wrong but we don't have a close relationship um I just sort of stay
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clear and just do my own thing um I just find it's easier to be just be me yeah
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um so you're not particularly close with your family is that like a result of um
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you're like your misadventure as a teenager um no I think it's more my choice you know um different things have
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happened over the years yeah and it's just like you know I'm sick and [ __ ]
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tired of my parents not listening or believe I I felt that they didn't believe in me so um it was just easier
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just to pull away live my own life um and you know what it's been great it's
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been absolutely fantastic I mean I still have contact with my mother you know she's in a rest home at the moment um
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going through a real hard time with the old cancer stuff um so yeah you know like if once a
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month we try and get up there to Tapo and see here and you know I just saw her last week um we pop we always make a
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point of popping in you know how old is she now like 80ish yeah she must be 80 85 is now I don't sort of keep track you
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know I don't like to think of the years um because we're only as old as we feel
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aren't we you know and and I feel like I'm 21 not bloody you know 57 so um yeah
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it's but we keep yeah we keeping contact yeah okay for some comparison um what
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are words that people would have used to describe you before losing your arm and
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now after I don't really know probably just you know pig-headed um stubborn yeah just before and after same with
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yeah see it's quite funny because it's um I've been reading a book about this
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and I reckon um and I've thought about this a lot with different people I've
00:09:17
had on the podcast famous people and non-f famous people but there's two sort
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of mindsets you have like a a fixed mindset or a growth mindset and you can go from having a fixed mindset and
00:09:27
change that to a growth mindset at anytime so say you pre-accident if you had a flexed mindset you can lose your
00:09:33
arm and then change it to a growth mindset but if you've had a growth mindset all along and then something
00:09:37
like this happens it's you're probably going to have a growth mindset afterwards as well yeah yeah for sure I
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agree um yeah I I think I've more got the growth now yeah um but it's always
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it have been there or no I I I think it probably has done yeah you know to be honest it probably has but I've never
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really thought about until you know you've just sort of said it um you're
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probably right you know um yeah so I think I have got the growth yeah now um I just or you definitely do now the 100%
00:10:06
there's no question about it um and I think you're right I have changed the
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mindset has changed for sure but yeah and like you say I I hadn't even thought
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about it do in that way yeah until you've mentioned it so December 2016 um that's when the accident happened with
00:10:21
the Farmgate so that's uh how old were you at the time like 50 uh must have been
00:10:26
51 52 must have been 2 yeah um just a freak accident mate yeah yeah was this the middle of a gate on a goat farm yeah
00:10:35
yeah so um I've got a mate that started a goat farm down in the Man 2 um and
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they had 900 goats you know housed in this big awesome shed um and she asked me if I'd like to come along and do you
00:10:48
know do farming for a while so I was like yeah [ __ ] I would like to give this a go growth mindset yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:10:55
if you had a FX mindset you wouldn't have been there that day so yeah I jumped at the chance and um just one
00:11:02
particular day you know this these big um de fence gates and they covered and corrugated iron now the reasoning behind
00:11:08
that is to keep the weather out of the animals that are housed inside the shed okay so it's not to keep the animals in
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it it's just to keep them safe and dry comfortable for sure yep yep keeping them their housing and that dry um so in
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this particular day I was closing this gate ready for milking and just a freak gusta wind mate just picked me up and
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the gate and slammed me um against the post you know a big defense post well what are you what are your Recollections
00:11:35
of that does that happen in slow motion or it just happened so quick it happened
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so bloody quick like a matter of seconds absolutely it was you know to lift me and my fat ass off the ground it had to
00:11:46
be a pretty good you know gust of wind so yeah it just slammed me there um and I ended up on the ground um obviously
00:11:54
the gate slammed and then reopened and I just landed on the ground and I looked at my arm and it was just bent in a Like
00:12:01
A L shape unbelievable like like like like blood coming out or had it slashed it or
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no just bones everywhere just just just completely like this here was just in a V so imagine that both bones were just
00:12:15
snapped completely in half mate but the bones weren't poking out of the skin or
00:12:20
no no you don't have to get that Bloody gruesome man um I just just want to paint a picture of what you went through
00:12:26
there so so you're um so adrenaline k pain or are you just um I think the adrenaline had kicked in by then so no I
00:12:33
wasn't in pain um but I had this small Nick on my knee obviously from a bit of
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corrugated ey and I just sort of got a Nick well that was more bloody painful mate seriously um it was so painful I
00:12:45
don't know what was going on I don't know whether the pain had transferred
00:12:49
down to here but it was just bizarre um so we went to the hospital um get to the
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hospital get to A&E and the guys they were great there um they took one look and they said yep
00:13:01
well we don't really need to send you for an x-ray sh as we can see what's
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going on um so they took me into a room um knocked me out for five minutes and realigned it and stuck me in a temperary
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cast and I can remember the the doctor in there saying to me you'll need to go
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to surgery tonight shz to get it plated and um pinned you know just a few couple
00:13:24
of PES and a couple of pins on each side just a normal six to eight week recovery
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and I'm like yep can handle that so you're you're feeling okay you're
00:13:33
feeling pretty good about yeah yeah yeah yeah absolutely and I'm like okay surgery tonight that's fine he said
00:13:39
because if you don't go to surgery tonight Shar he said there's going to be
00:13:42
some serious complications unfortunately I didn't go to surgery that night and were you after
00:13:49
being being told that were you I don't like were you sort of I mean it's easy to to have this line of
00:13:56
questioning and have this conversation with the benefit of hindsight but were you sort of like you know pushing it
00:14:02
yourself and saying Hey listen I need to get to surgery I got told I need the surgery at that stage no because they
00:14:06
told me that I'd go that night okay so you know I was reassured that yeah it
00:14:11
was going to happen that night so I was like okay so you just go with it right yeah they the exper yeah you just roll
00:14:16
with it so I'm like okay get that night at about 7:00 they come and tell me that
00:14:21
no I was going to be bumped again this went on for five days mate five freaking days see again we've got the benefit of
00:14:30
hindsight here but if it was me I I I think if I was told you need to get to surgery ASAP or else there's going to be
00:14:35
complications I'd like to think I'd be like aggressively pursuing it and
00:14:39
pushing it and following up I think I was yeah but obviously you know you're
00:14:44
in a lot of pain um the reason why I was in a lot of pain was because I could see
00:14:50
my hand was start my fingers were starting to swell my hand was starting to go black you know and the pain was
00:14:57
starting to get quite quite intense so that's when I sort of got pretty um let's say forceful mhm you
00:15:06
know and I'd say to the nurses so this is day this is day about three and a half yeah and I'm saying look you know I
00:15:13
really need to see somebody here um and of course the nurses had come oh we give
00:15:17
you some more Panadol shares you know in the end I I I did day five I said you know this is
00:15:25
[ __ ] I'm in pain I want to see some body I want a doctor in here today I need to see I said have a look at my
00:15:32
hand and by that stage you could see my Knuckles my fingers were going black so I didn't know what the rest of the arm
00:15:41
was like so you were starting to panic well I wasn't starting to panic I was in
00:15:45
pain okay I was in severe pain right um CU don't forget I'm still in a temporary
00:15:51
cast so a lot of the swelling couldn't swell so um anyway the surgeon came in
00:15:58
and I could can remember it it's just it's just like he walked through that
00:16:01
door and I'm in a bed here like this sitting up and he just walked in the door and my um was obviously sitting
00:16:08
here and he he just said get her to surgery now and I could remember mate I was rushed out of that room um and down
00:16:18
to surgery so I had surgery thinking that I was going to come out of that and I'd just be you know couple of four
00:16:25
plates you know two plates on each bone and screws in each each bones um when I came to the surgeon was actually
00:16:34
standing by my bed and Me in My Big Mouth I said what's going on if you cut me [ __ ] arm
00:16:42
off wow he says no sh we haven't but he said I need to inform you we've had to
00:16:47
do a fasciotomy what's that exactly I said speak to me in English so a FAS cuz
00:16:54
I couldn't see my arm it was all bandaged up I had no idea what what it was looking like so fasciotomy was they
00:17:01
had to they cut right down the inside of my arm cross my hand cross the side of my hand and all the way back up the side
00:17:09
now the reasoning of that was it's to release the pressure because it had swollen so much it was severely
00:17:18
swollen um so from there every second day I went back to theater and they stitched up segments about this big each
00:17:27
time so I had nine surgeries in 11 days on the 11th day um this young intern came in to my room and he says oh
00:17:37
I'm just going to have a look at your um check your arm shares and I'm like oh
00:17:41
yeah that's fine didn't warn me about what the hell my arm was going to look
00:17:45
like or what I was about to see he took all the bandages off and the dressing off and I don't know if you've seen any
00:17:55
photos D but no I haven't but there was the this gaping hole in my arm so this massive hole here
00:18:03
now um some people will be watching this on YouTube most people will be listening
00:18:07
to it what's the size anything you can compare it to in terms of size uh probably the size of tennis ball okay oh
00:18:13
sh yeah so and and as round as a tennis for where abouts like on the where like on the on the forearm yeah just were
00:18:21
trying to close up um and that was and I I looked and I was like holy [ __ ] balls
00:18:27
you know um and then I looked and I said to him oh is that a bit of gor and he goes no
00:18:32
no that's your tendon I'm like [ __ ] you know I'm sitting there for the first
00:18:36
time seeing my arm and here's this massive hole I mean they would make you queasy looking at it on someone else's
00:18:42
arm looking at on your own arm are you are you panicking at that point I wasn't
00:18:45
panicking I was sort of like to be honest I was probably sort of steering away from it you know at this point um
00:18:52
and I said to him why the hell have I still got that hole there and he says oh we can't close that shars we tried to
00:18:58
close it and when you woke up last time you were in so much pain can't you remember and I says no and he said no we
00:19:05
had to rush you back into theater and take those stitches out that we can't close it it's too um he's still too
00:19:12
swollen so from there they sent me down to Hut Hospital in Wellington to the Plastics unit where they removed a bit
00:19:19
of my backside not that you can notice um and like a skin graft yep and stuck it in slapped them in there um and
00:19:28
that was going to be what my arm was going to look like so from there I went home good old recovery you know best
00:19:34
recovery in bed sleep you know let's be honest sleep is our best recovery yeah
00:19:40
absolutely so when you when you leave um the hospital by the way that's a lot
00:19:43
that's a lot to go through like how many how many operations like n so I had
00:19:46
probably 11 operations all up in 14 days yeah that takes it out of you it does yeah um but you were sent home so you've
00:19:55
had all these surgeries um all these all the all the stress of this and the skin
00:20:00
graft as well and you sent home and you think you're just going to recover and
00:20:04
it's going to be good all good you I was sent home and I thought yep my arm's
00:20:08
going to this is a recovery stage now we're starting the 6 to8 week recovery
00:20:12
but when I left Hut hospital they made another appointment for me to come back so that they could check the skin graft
00:20:17
obviously um so yeah about a month later went back down there once again um took
00:20:23
all the dressings off and it was the first time I got to see my arm um I probably should have bought you some
00:20:29
photos DS and it's on the phone I can easily show you they no thanks they're
00:20:33
pretty gruesome you know this it'll show whether you're a man or a mouse you know
00:20:37
oh I'm a mouse I'm a mouse I might get some off you for a for my video guide
00:20:42
you might want for sure um so yeah it was the first time I got to see my arm yeah not pretty so I was scarred all the
00:20:50
way down here had this massive you know skin grafting in here um which in a month's time the skin grafting had
00:20:58
shrunk down and it was looking okay what do you reckon it looked like an arm that
00:21:02
had been like chewed by a dog or something would you say or yeah a shark a shark right yeah yeah just and you so
00:21:09
when you see that do you um what's your initial reaction like do you you break
00:21:13
down and cry like you no what's the point of crying you know it's only spilled water you know um you look at it
00:21:20
and yeah you're disappointed I didn't realize the extent of my injuries until all the hospitals
00:21:27
let's put it this way I didn't realize the extent of the hospital's [ __ ]
00:21:31
up um because this should not have happened are you are you frustrated at that point um I know you're not a person
00:21:37
that likes to look back in anger but take you back to that moment um honestly I'm not frustrated I'm more all I wanted
00:21:45
to do was put my energy and my time into my recovery what's the point of feeling
00:21:50
anger you know and boiling yourself up you're not it's not going to benefit you
00:21:55
at all so no but if it was me I'm just I'm probably projecting here I'd be
00:21:59
[ __ ] infuriated well you know at that point it hadn't really hit me Dom okay
00:22:03
it really hadn't hit me as to what I was going to be left with what sort of arm I
00:22:08
was going to have Okay so this stage your arms a Miss but you think it's going to be fine yep okay yep totally
00:22:13
thinking I was still going to have the use of an arm and I was going to have you know my my other arm my left arm um
00:22:22
so yeah as as rehab sort of continued on the the scar they didn't really improve the um hole
00:22:31
that was in there from my skin graph yeah it was there it wasn't pretty you know I mean I'm not a Comm a cosmetic
00:22:38
chick by any means take a look at me you know [ __ ] I don't buy that [ __ ] you know
00:22:43
I Was Born This Way why try and spend thousands of dollars trying to cover it up so you know the Cosmetic sort of side
00:22:48
of things didn't really worry me but when I saw this it did start to get to me that you know this isn't good because
00:22:58
in the end I used to just have my arm sitting here like this trying to protect it because it was useless it was
00:23:07
freaking useless for anyone that's listening to this um imagine so she's um
00:23:11
she has this missing her left arm now but you hold it like held it like it was in an invisible sling yep for sure up
00:23:16
against the body perfect um and um yeah so I just hold it there and just try and
00:23:21
protect it um and in the end you know it was I it was useless mate I just I had a
00:23:28
name for it you ready I've heard you say this in a couple of podcasts yeah [ __ ]
00:23:32
and a sock I used to call it my [ __ ] and a sock yeah what does that mean well it
00:23:36
was just [ __ ] useless you males will understand that you know at times you know and that's why I used to call it
00:23:41
that it was just useless because it was in like a bandage and it was just yeah it just used to hang it used to flop so
00:23:50
um that was my name for it you know I was trying to make light of situation and you know different things and that
00:23:55
was a way of calling it something ridiculous and make having a bit of fun with it but yeah in the end it it just
00:24:01
became redundant I lost all muscle mass and it was just redundant just there but
00:24:07
did you still have like um your grip strength in your wrist and your hand okay so I lost everything mate okay so
00:24:14
it it was literally redundant it was okay but I'm thinking about things um we can get to this later like things
00:24:23
things that you do now that you know you people with both hands and both arms would take for grounded like doing up
00:24:28
buttons on your shirt for example could you use your left hand when you had that
00:24:31
post accident to no okay no I couldn't do so it was just sort of ornamental oh
00:24:36
it was okay and it was an ugly ornamental you know it it wasn't a nice thing to have sitting there um but you
00:24:44
know I I still carried on with my life I still went out and done things but it got to a point where I could see that
00:24:51
possibly I could go into a different spiral um what you mean I I could have gone down this path of anger yeah um and
00:25:04
being grumpy and being annoyed and getting frustrated and I didn't want to go down
00:25:10
that path Dom I really really didn't want to go down that path I could see how easy it would be for somebody to
00:25:17
spiral on a downward path so I had to make a decision um and it had to be my decision
00:25:24
couldn't be anybody else's so um I thought you know I want to move on with
00:25:29
my life I don't want to be um stuck in this position where you know I could get in a situation that I didn't want to
00:25:40
be negative head space yeah yeah um so yeah I wanted to move forward with my life so I had to make a decision and
00:25:48
make so it was I came up with this most radical stupid decision um and it just you know it just
00:25:57
felt felt right I don't yeah I don't know you say radical stupid decision I
00:26:00
know you're doing that say that tongue and cheick but it feels like uh it was
00:26:04
probably the sensible or even the only decision to make um yeah or no yeah I mean you know some people wouldn't go to
00:26:11
that extreme you know it was pretty extreme this decision you know when I threw it at my husband whoa mate yeah so
00:26:19
you you guys been married like 30 odd years yeah okay yeah he's my best mate
00:26:23
he's my best mate and he's um yeah he's got got your you know he's got my back
00:26:27
yeah there's there's no there's no agenda whatsoever at that point he's got
00:26:30
me my back and so you know I threw this idea and you know I came up with how am I going to approach this with them you
00:26:37
know because it's a big thing you know um so I just one day I just said to him
00:26:41
can we sit down and have a talk um and I just said to him I've made a decision um
00:26:47
and I hope you'll support me but I said I want it off and he was no not at all
00:26:54
was he why why was that as initi um I I don't know it was you know cuz he must
00:26:58
have had so this was um the amputation was 2018 so it's like a couple of years
00:27:04
of you you recovering or trying to recover or dealing with this um you know useless uh limb that you called a [ __ ]
00:27:11
and a sock um yeah why why why did why was his was that his initial reaction it must have
00:27:17
been something that occurred to him over that time well no I don't think it had I
00:27:21
don't think it had I think I don't know whether it was because he thought it it
00:27:26
may improve over time I suppose you always hold out High pay oh for sure yeah we all do don't we
00:27:33
of course we all hope that you know it's going to be for the better um but I knew
00:27:38
that that wasn't going to be for the better so I wanted to make it for the better and the only way for me to make
00:27:44
it better was to yeah remove it cut the bugger off get rid of it feed it to the Flaming dogs you
00:27:52
know can the dogs are like where don't there looks like a shark's already had
00:27:56
to go there okay so Owens so Owen's initial reaction is no does that come from like a place of Love or consume for
00:28:05
you or I I I honestly believe it was because you know he loves me yeah um and he was looking out for me but you know
00:28:13
so I had to sort of coax it around a bit you know I I did have to coax him around
00:28:18
um in the end I just said to him look it's my life it's my body um and this is
00:28:23
what I want to do and I said I hope you support me and he did you know obviously
00:28:29
um yeah he came around and he knew that you know over time I think he thought about it um and he knew that it was the
00:28:35
right thing for me to do did you did you guys come up with like a list of pros and cons or anything or no you know um I
00:28:41
actually spoke to one of my mates and said that because I didn't talk to a lot
00:28:45
of people about it um because I knew that all be you know no you can't have that Shaz and I didn't want all those
00:28:50
negative reactions but I did speak to one mate and she said shares what you should try doing is tying your hand
00:28:56
behind your back for a week and see how you go and I thought no if I'm doing
00:29:01
this I'm going in Boots and all it's just going to happen and you just got to
00:29:04
deal with it then don't you you know yeah but there's no reversal oh absolutely not but I mean you just got
00:29:11
to deal with it oh no wait a minute just I want the useless arm back yeah so yeah
00:29:17
I found a surgeon um did you need to did they make you undergo any compost counseling or anything like that um yeah
00:29:22
I had to do a couple of sessions oh [ __ ] that's a lot of crap isn't it you know
00:29:26
um well it's I mean um yeah I I had the same sort of thing mandatory very very different
00:29:32
situation but mandatory counseling when um me and JJ and my wife at the time undergoing fertility stuff and we were
00:29:38
about to use a mate sper donor sperm and you have like mandatory counseling but it's it's easy to say the answers that
00:29:44
you know you should say for sure very easy to fool them I think I I I just felt like I was just doing a recording
00:29:51
yeah you know it was yes no yeah n yeah yeah I suppose so you know it was yeah like you say I think it's very easy to
00:29:59
fool them not that I was out there to do that g not at all no no and I'm exactly
00:30:04
the same and it's one of those things it feels like we have to go through yeah and like with with my
00:30:10
situation which is very different to yours with the donor spin thing like I had a couple of years leading up to that
00:30:15
where it's like this may be a path we have to go down so you have time to think about it same with you I guess you
00:30:20
had a lot of time to think about well I I didn't really because you know it happened in December 16 the accident so
00:30:27
I only had that 12 months you know that from recovering to making a decision to getting it removed yeah honestly you
00:30:35
know I must have had red flags by my name because you don't just go into a surgeon and say that you want to remove
00:30:43
a part of your body and next minute you're getting it done so um I think they sort of knew that that [ __ ] up
00:30:50
basically and you know okay if this is what she wants let's let's make this
00:30:54
happen for her um plus I think my surgeon um he was fantastic um I still have a great relationship with him now
00:31:04
um he's done my knise so he's seen quite a bit of my body you know um and he he's
00:31:10
yeah he's always helped me now yeah he's made made it made things happen for me
00:31:15
so anyway I saw him and he put me on to Prof thirston um a guy down at a professor down in Wellington who was um
00:31:24
obviously the man for amputations so I contacted him and um we had a few emails back and forth and then next minute I
00:31:33
get this email saying let's make it happen so we did from there it just evolved so what what's that
00:31:41
process um like do you do you discuss where it's going to be cut off or so yeah so we talked about it and discussed
00:31:48
it and um because I was right cut right up here right up to my elbow basically and it was a bit of a mess he said we
00:31:56
can do a below elbow shes but he said I would suggest we go above elbow So Below
00:32:02
elbow would make it easier in terms of like um Pro yeah and if you see a lot of arm
00:32:08
amputees a lot of them are below elbow there's not many of us that are above
00:32:13
elbow so we're the special ones obviously um but um yeah so we went so he um amputated it just above the elbow
00:32:25
here yeah so it was as you can see it's a lot shorter now than what it was um
00:32:30
when we first done it but then after he amputated we had complications um and not only do I have
00:32:39
severe phantom pain I have this thing called CPS which is complex regional pain syndrome um and like I said to you
00:32:47
a bit earlier when we're talking it's like if you've ever peed on an electric
00:32:52
fence you know what it's like you know you get that full instant jarring and
00:32:56
that shocking well that's what I have mean does that just is that um sporadically or occasionally or it's all
00:33:02
the time permanently so um so it constantly s of feels like you're being T say yeah yeah um what do you what do
00:33:10
you what do you take for that um so I I I don't take um I instantly got off the
00:33:15
tramol and the seol and all that sort of stuff um and then I've I've been had
00:33:21
some super support people around me and um we've tried different things um I
00:33:26
went to have been in contact with a pain specialist Dr Amir up here um and we've
00:33:32
been dealing with him and my um people down in py um and we' finally came we've
00:33:40
tried different medications obviously so so oh I'm just trying to get my head
00:33:44
around something so post um post accident but preamputation were you in were you in pain you had this useless
00:33:50
arm I was had discomfort right had discomfort but I wouldn't call it pain um so and then once we um amputated
00:33:59
it obviously the nerves didn't agree with that because don't forget it was a
00:34:05
massive trauma of being smashed and broken um you know you've got both bones
00:34:11
completely broken in half snapped in half so it's a massive trauma it's not
00:34:15
like just a break that a kid has in the playground you know from falling out of a tree yeah this was severe um in their
00:34:24
terms um so yeah so that trauma on its own has fired the nerves um from instantly from that
00:34:34
trauma so once we had it amputated it's obviously um elevated that that pain and
00:34:42
the nerve endings so um yeah so we we we've had two further amputations since
00:34:51
then um where I've had an awesome surgeon down at Hut Hospital Dr Bon um he really looked after me and tried
00:34:59
different things so we went back to surgery another time this is a couple years later um and he what he done was
00:35:08
he shortened it he found well he obviously opened up Stumpy um found the nerves stretched them SE them and then
00:35:18
he let them go hoping that the nerve endings would end up somewhere back up here um so that there'd be no pressure
00:35:26
or nerve ending down here where I was getting all the pain um so we were hoping that was going to happen um and
00:35:32
eliminate the pain unfortunately it didn't so about a year maybe 18 months later he
00:35:41
tried to have another go and we went through this whole process of he had this brain wave of um and this idea that
00:35:48
he had to take to a panel to get it approve first to go ahead and do this so I still didn't know if I was going to
00:35:55
have this third amputation or not so they're just like going higher and yeah
00:36:00
oh god um so we we got to go ahead and the approval to do this third amputation and what he done then was once again he
00:36:09
opened up Stumpy found those nerve endings which had neuromas growing on the end of them which was causing the
00:36:17
pain um so he once again he stretched them he um cut them and then removed those neuromas and then he saided them
00:36:26
again the nerve endings and then what he done was he drilled straight through my
00:36:30
bone and he's inserted the nerve endings into my bone so that if the new Romas
00:36:36
grow back again hopefully it won't penetrate penetrate through the bone um and that was he said to me Shaz this is
00:36:44
the last thing I can think of doing for you so you know I've I've had some
00:36:49
awesome team behind me to trying to help me as much as possible with this pain um
00:36:55
unfortunately it hasn't worked so we're still in pain so Stumpy's still
00:37:00
a prick um yeah I've heard you um refer to it as Stumpy and a a couple of um
00:37:06
podcasts that I've listened to not why did you why did you decide to um to name
00:37:10
it when when did that happen did that happened pre the amputation or I honestly when I first had the amputation
00:37:17
the day of the surgery I woke up and I looked down and here was this big fat you know um bandaged stump um and I just
00:37:28
looked down and I had the biggest smile on my face Dom I just um and I just looked down and I said welcome to sh's
00:37:38
World Stumpy um and it's just stuck you know and honestly I um it was the best decision
00:37:45
of my life absolutely best decision of my life mate yeah the um the the the Stumpy thing um the thing thing I like
00:37:53
about that is uh um yeah rather than like mourning what you're losing and talking about losing your arm you talk
00:38:00
about gaining something new oh absolutely I don't know I don't know if that was subconscious or an intentional
00:38:05
thing but it's a way of framing it that it it was just like you know this is the
00:38:09
start of a New Journey this is going to be an awesome Journey um and I just wanted it to be a great journey you know
00:38:17
I wanted it to be a whole new Journey Stumpy and I were starting over you know and it was it was a new beginning and
00:38:26
like I say the best fraking decision of my life Stumpy Stumpy and Shar on tour sounds like sounds like some sort of
00:38:34
weird comedy movie that you'd see in video easy back in the day um so you just go back to like the the the I know
00:38:41
the day of or the day before the amputation like yeah so you're you're in
00:38:44
a hospital getting prepped up and maybe you've got the Vivid marker drawn on
00:38:47
your on your arm like do you have like a like a mour moment to yourself like a moment of say
00:38:55
that that that's really good question and it's funny and it's I forget about
00:38:59
bringing this up but you know like um the morning of the surgery uh my surgeon says you know um
00:39:07
right sh have you thought about what you'd like to do with your Lo once I remove it or your white back or collect
00:39:12
and I'm like oh [ __ ] no I got no idea and he goes well you know some people
00:39:18
like to have it returned and they keep it in the freezer and so that when they pass eventually they feel like they a
00:39:26
whole person and I hadn't even thought about any of this D you know and um and
00:39:32
he says some you know get it cremated and keep it for the same reason you know there's religious reasons I suppose in a
00:39:41
in a way a lot of people would said as like a part of your a part of your dying like it's it's the old you and I and he
00:39:47
says you know what would you like then he said oh you can give it to Medical Science and of course my natural
00:39:53
reaction and my first reaction was not thinking what my mouth was about to say but I said feed it to the [ __ ]
00:40:01
dogs and he just looked at me he's this you know um nearly retired gentleman and
00:40:08
he just looked at me and a couple of the nurses laughed you know and then I said
00:40:12
oh sorry um you know um and I said because I just wanted it gone you know it was no good to me I didn't want the
00:40:20
bloody thing back you know it was my decision to get rid of it so why the hell would I want it back you know so um
00:40:26
um I just said give it to Medical Science I said hopefully this will prevent somebody else going through what
00:40:32
I've gone through so um what they done with it I got no idea Dom and I don't
00:40:37
care I really don't care yeah see um I I'm probably pettier than you I think um I've just been thinking
00:40:45
the last couple of minutes what I'd do with it and I probably would have got it
00:40:48
back and then sent it to the the [ __ ] in paliston North Hospital that [ __ ] it up in the first place by messing
00:40:53
around for 5 days yeah well you know I have thought of that sometimes cuz there's no accountability on that end is
00:40:59
there no accountability whatsoever and what chance do you have of any accountability when you you know yeah
00:41:05
and what and what you're doing and saying is is exactly the right thing like there's no use wasting 5 years
00:41:10
seven years 10 years of your life collecting folders of court documents going through the system for what maybe
00:41:17
100 Grand at the end of it Couple Grand you know and that's what I said to people look it's not about the money
00:41:23
it's about moving forward yeah but you can see where people and how people think and you know if I don't want that
00:41:31
anger and that negativity and that frustration even someone's saying sorry like what's it going to change oh mate
00:41:38
you know you might get a letter with a scribble signature at the bottom of it what the [ __ ] does that mean you know
00:41:45
what is what does that give you yeah it doesn't give you any you know closure my closure is just the beginning
00:41:54
of the opening yeah of my your journey you know that's that's my closure yeah
00:42:01
yeah so so so when you're in that hospital bed recovering and the the hours or the days after it you do you um
00:42:07
yeah is it emotional or you just happy no I'm happy mate yeah I was ecstatic
00:42:12
yeah I was I just wanted to get out of there move on um yeah yeah I went through a fair bit of pain um that's
00:42:19
where the pain obviously started after the amputation and I went through a fear bit of pain um and they moved did did
00:42:25
they warn you about that do they warn you it could be painful CU you you sort of think you've got this useless limb
00:42:29
you get it chopped off and everything's going to be better yeah um they they
00:42:32
said that there can be side effects for like anything D yeah you know there's
00:42:35
always a side effect um and you know normally it's it's phantom pain which
00:42:41
you can treat by doing myotherapy and doing a whole lot of different therapy yeah describe describe that to us
00:42:46
phantom pain so um my arm is still sitting here that's because that's where
00:42:51
the brain last remembers it before it was removed so my arm is still sitting there um I can't because of my severe
00:43:00
phantom pain I can't actually open my hand like I'm doing with this one so
00:43:06
like I'm going to try opening my hand here your left handed y yeah and you'll
00:43:11
see me trying to open it you watch here oh [ __ ] that's me trying to open wow my
00:43:24
hand where I like the muscles firing in your B your left bicep yeah but it's it's trying to
00:43:31
open my hand where a yeah yeah it's funny how the brain Associates things um
00:43:39
so yeah so yeah I have this pain and I deal with it but I don't make it my issue what do you mean I don't make it
00:43:50
my issue that I've got pain because how what do you mean you don't make it your
00:43:54
issue well I don't want to make it my life right okay you don't want it to
00:43:59
Define you so yeah no not at all so you just you mean you don't make it your
00:44:04
issue you don't make it other people's issues well both right you know I don't
00:44:07
want it to to drag me down I don't want once again I don't want to go into that
00:44:13
position so think positive you know move forward you know um so that's where yeah
00:44:20
I turned back to my sport yes so okay yes so so you get back home how long how long is the S of
00:44:26
recovery oh it's quite a while yeah quite a while and this must have been a frustrating time with lots of Tears CU
00:44:31
I'm thinking about things that you like I mentioned before like you wearing a
00:44:34
button-up shirt today like I I don't know how you do the buttons up oh it's
00:44:40
it's you know just pretty yeah take a while to do it with one hand I I probably won't be able to
00:44:47
do it now because you know no but you I mean you've got a Sho on so you've
00:44:50
obviously done it or Owen's helped you um okay other stuff tying shoelaces m
00:44:56
come on think about it elastic I haven't got them on today but you know I've got shoes like what you
00:45:04
you wear and I just wear the laces slightly less loose okay so you slide them on and off okay there you go
00:45:10
there's my Buton okay plugging in a phone charger easy how do you do that with the try it Dom come on man try it
00:45:18
okay I'm sorry I thought I was asking some good questions here okay U no no no
00:45:24
seriously how do you PL how do you plug in your phone charger with one um I just
00:45:27
get my phone I'll either stand it upright and put the charger in or I'll
00:45:32
use the bench and put it on towards the end of the bench and push it in you find
00:45:35
a way to do everything humans are adaptable eh oh look mate I honestly didn't and this was part of um my new
00:45:44
Journey that I wanted to embrace having these challenges you know I think you guys are the most boringest
00:45:50
buggers out because you just get up and do the same things every day you guys as
00:45:54
in who you guys everybody else with with two arms yeah excuse me that was you for
00:45:59
the first 55 years of your life don't be so smug now I have the best challenges
00:46:05
every day yeah you know I come across challenges every day and I flame and love it you know because I have to work
00:46:11
it out I can take the easy way like when I first came out this the rehab would bring around all these different things
00:46:18
you know this is the board that will help you buddy your toast shares you put this on here with these steel prongs you
00:46:24
know like nails upside hold the toast and do all this mate that's all in the wardrobe if anything
00:46:31
I've probably given it to other people now I've never ever wanted to use
00:46:36
anything like that I've just wanted to find my way you know um yeah I've done
00:46:41
my Buton up and I've undone it again now because it's too bloody hot but um yeah
00:46:46
I've just wanted to find things my to do my way and I have and that's what I say
00:46:51
you know I have these challenges every day love them love them you know I still get out I mow The Lawns I still hang the
00:46:59
washing on the line you know my husband Owen was so great don't get me wrong he
00:47:04
was amazing but I had to say to him in the end because he was always wanting to help me and I'd have to say
00:47:11
hey can you please stop um I want to do these if I need help I will ask you but he was only
00:47:20
doing it Dom because he loves me and he was trying to help me um and I was probably a [ __ ] by saying that to him
00:47:28
but it was because I wanted not to rely on anyone you know um you wanted that Independence for sure yeah for sure um
00:47:39
you you well up when you talk about IR don't you cuz he's been such a great
00:47:42
rock for me you know um like I say he stood by me and supported me with everything you know and even yeah but
00:47:50
come on what do you expect them to do you with you're with someone for quarter
00:47:53
of a century and then they they freak accident and lose an arm he'd be a piece
00:47:58
of [ __ ] if he walked out at that point well if he did he'd be called a fair few
00:48:02
things I can tell you but you know I know he'd never do that he's he's just
00:48:07
he's just he loves you he's my best mate he's my other half you know literally I
00:48:14
feel like he's my other half he's there all the time you know yeah we still have
00:48:18
the odd little bloody Tiff you know like every married couple does but on a whole
00:48:23
we're we're 110% yeah you that's great yeah yeah so so you get back home and
00:48:30
you're recovering and you're adapting to life and I guess you're still adapting
00:48:33
to life now like with day-to-day challenges that pop up but when do you get the idea to um like embark on a
00:48:39
sporting career well like I say I I've always dabbled in some sports so it was
00:48:44
about okay where do we go from here and I thought you know I want to make this a
00:48:50
New Journey so I thought let's do something radical some people might call it stupid
00:48:56
Dom but I thought let's find a sport and do something so instead of just aiming
00:49:01
for something small I thought I'm going to aim for something big so I thought
00:49:06
right I'm going to try to get into a New Zealand team um in a sport that would have to
00:49:13
challenge me so like I say said before I've dabbled in a bit of running and I've dabbled in a bit of cycling but I
00:49:20
hate swimming with a passion absolutely Lo it um so I thought probably for one because I have to keep
00:49:27
my mouth shut to I so so I thought let's try Triathlon um so you know there was all
00:49:35
these things and these challenges and I knew swimming was going to be my challenge obviously you know I didn't
00:49:41
know if I was going to sink swim or go in circles mate you know um so I just jumped into that challenge so literally
00:49:49
a month to the day of having Stumpy removed we went to Hawks Bay I didn't want to to do it at home I wanted to be
00:49:58
out of my surroundings and just be somewhere where I felt that nobody was looking why because it was the first
00:50:06
time I was going to be in public and be exposed you know for one woman and TOS of you know it's not something we like
00:50:13
to do let alone with half a wing right but for for anyone that's listening to
00:50:18
this that doesn't know that area of New Zealand like you're talking like a 2hour
00:50:21
road trip that's like from Fielding to Hogs it's a couple of hours it's a oh my a long way
00:50:28
to go for half an hour in the pool but I knew there was a good pool there and I knew it was it was going to be quiet at
00:50:34
that sort of time so so away we trudgeon and we decided it was going to be for a
00:50:39
weekend away as well you know okay okay so um yeah way we trudgeon um Owen comes
00:50:44
into the pool with me I strip down um I got my goggles and I hopped in the pool and I was like how the freak am I going
00:50:52
to put these bloody goggles on there was another new straight away hundreds of things like that every
00:50:59
day that you would so the first thing I done was I got my goggles I stuck the strap over my nose and I pulled it back
00:51:05
and I looked like Miss Piggy with my nose in the Flaming ear but I pulled the strap back and then I was able to adjust
00:51:11
my goggles yeah yeah and it was like there's a challenge who else has tried to do that you know um and I and I
00:51:20
overcame that challenge so the next thing was to see if we could swim now I had no flaming idea Dom how I was going
00:51:28
to go had no idea had no idea how Stumpy was going to react to being put in water yeah yeah I'm just trying to yeah
00:51:37
yeah yeah you know all these things um that people probably just take for granted but it was all new for me and
00:51:45
hence why I wanted to be in a surroundings where nobody knew me so that I could just give it a go if I
00:51:51
floundered if I sunk if I went in circles nobody was going to see me that I knew so yeah I just I said to ow film
00:51:59
this this is going to be interesting so um he got my camera ready and away I went I just instantly went
00:52:07
under the water pushed off the edge um propelled this my right arm over and I propelled forward threw Stumpy over and
00:52:16
I felt like I went flaming nowhere because there was nothing there to pull back you know um but I just kept
00:52:23
swimming with this arm and so were you going were you going straight or were you sort of veering well yeah yeah you
00:52:29
were going straight I I didn't feel like I was but but yeah when I watched the
00:52:34
video cuz I concentrated on that bloody black line you know that's always in the
00:52:39
pool um and so obviously my core was doing a bit of work but we got to the other end mate and I just came out from
00:52:47
under that water and once again it was just a massive smile it was like yes you know I've done that so yes here comes
00:52:56
the journey I know I can swim where do we go from here how do I improve um how do I include these three disciplines
00:53:04
into one um to make this journey happen and that's where it started though that's exactly where it started exactly
00:53:11
a month to the day after meeting Stumpy how you guys have got kids he how old are you kids Owen's got Owen's got kids
00:53:19
and I've got one um yeah that the young well 34 now so they're all growing up so
00:53:25
they're all gone you know what what do they make of um everything um honestly
00:53:32
they don't treat me any different yeah yeah no but they must be [ __ ] proud
00:53:37
um I hope they are yeah I hope they are yeah um is it not not a convers not a conversation I've said it's not a
00:53:43
conversation I bring up is that just sort of your your family you know talk about myself I really don't really don't
00:53:52
feel comfortable talking about my achievements because I do it for me and I do it for Owen I want him to be
00:53:57
proud of me um yes I'd like um Owen's I think Owen's family is proud of me I
00:54:03
don't know I don't I I I as I say it's not a conversation I like to yeah hey
00:54:09
are you happy with what I'm doing are you proud of me you know that's not
00:54:12
something I you no and it shouldn't be your job to say that but I I feel like
00:54:16
to show to show such courage and strength in such adversity I feel like that's something that warrants saying to
00:54:23
someone you care about hey I'm really I'm really proud of you I know um Owen's
00:54:27
son's son which is Owen's grandson Josh I know he's proud of me we text quite
00:54:33
regularly they live in Australia and Josh is one that you know I'm proud of he's done well in rugby so I think it's
00:54:42
through the sport that we connect you know and and he he'll quite often text
00:54:46
and say you know I'm proud of you Shaz you know um so yeah I know he is and if
00:54:53
I can make him proud well you know and likewise um so yeah yeah I think they are proud of me yeah yeah sounds a
00:55:00
bit like my family we don't we don't necessarily you know tell each other
00:55:03
these things with words but I feel like sometimes you should exactly I you know I was always bought up we were never
00:55:09
told we were loved we were never cuddle you're just supposed to know it you know
00:55:12
we would that wasn't our family Dynamics um yeah it just wasn't in us so
00:55:19
when I went to the farm you know it was a totally different ball game you know my my Auntie and Uncle would come up and
00:55:24
give Kettle you know that was all new to me you know um so yeah things changed the Dynamics changed yeah but yeah not
00:55:33
it wasn't a that sort of Lifestyle yeah so what's the first event that you do so
00:55:38
you go to go to Hawks Bay have a have a gut swimming and you think right I'm
00:55:40
going to about to do this so then what I do is it just like a standard Triathlon
00:55:44
or is it a what length um yeah it was just you know I I actually I went from trying to swim to entering the New
00:55:55
Zealand um par um championships or national championships um went along to that um
00:56:05
and there was you know there was only about three or four of us because it's
00:56:08
not a lot um yeah and I won that and that was the start so I decided right here we go this is how we start earning
00:56:18
points and getting into um the paralympic rankings situation so um yeah it started there
00:56:26
and then of course the next thing you had to go to your Oceania which was in Australia um went over there I got
00:56:34
Sila um so the pro the progress and the progression was starting to happen and I
00:56:40
was loving it you know um Shane and Tammy Reed were coaches in Fielding um Shane was a um Olympic triathlete
00:56:50
himself um I don't know if you've heard him um you've only got to Google the
00:56:54
beij Jing the Olympics and Shane's the first one out of the water and man he's
00:56:59
he's a weapon right um unfortunately Shane's passed away um he had brain
00:57:04
cancer and passed away you know not so long ago well when we say 12 months coming up um so yeah it's but Shane was
00:57:13
just one of those humble guys and Tammy's wife she was a um National um triathlete herself and she
00:57:21
decided to get into coaching so they came on board they started coaching me so that's where we
00:57:26
started yeah so that's swimming and then um and running you so you had some running um experience beforehand is
00:57:33
running just the same what's the difference um so no Shane and Tammy got me into a coaching program and they
00:57:38
coached me for swimming running yeah and um biking um no run running as as an UT
00:57:45
is is it oh mate weird is it weird seriously in terms of what you know um put it this way the first run I went
00:57:54
went out with Tammy I didn't know how I was going to react I didn't know how
00:57:58
Stumpy was going to react it was freaking painful because of the the jarring oh okay the jarring it was just
00:58:06
horrible M but I wasn't going to let Tammy know that so Tammy would run on this side she said I'll run on the right
00:58:12
hand side she ass cuz I don't want to be anywhere near Stumpy I said thanks um
00:58:16
we'd be running along down the road next minute the bit she'd give me a whack you
00:58:20
know Tammy's only a little short ass and it's nothing of a fit little lean mean
00:58:25
machine and um next minute she'd give me a whack on the shoulder and I'd say
00:58:28
what's that for and she'd say move over you're veing out oh cuz the imbalance oh that's
00:58:36
interesting isn't it you now I only had 1.75 kilos taken off right when I lost
00:58:42
the my arm but that 1.75 kilos Dom made a huge difference in my balance who would have thought well I
00:58:52
wouldn't have thought that yeah it makes sense though yeah totally so that's the
00:58:56
that's the running what about the um the the cycling so you just do you cycle
00:58:59
with just one hand on the bar so I started off just on a road bike um and then we progressed obviously to a TT
00:59:07
bike to start International racing with um and that's where the obviously first
00:59:12
of all how was I going to ride a tt b with the aob bars uh so um the limb Center was like phone call to the Lim
00:59:19
center now honestly they must every time they hear shaz's making an appointment
00:59:24
they must roll their eyes and think oh God what's she coming at us with at this
00:59:28
time but um they came up with this rarely rad idea of making a cup for Stumpy to sit in so I'd sit stumpy in
00:59:37
this um and I'd be down here like this okay so that's how we managed to get
00:59:42
around riding on an aob bike on a TT bike um and that's that's how we progressed
00:59:50
on that but it was once again it was all about balance because I couldn't put
00:59:54
pressure down in that cup because of the pain in the end of my stump so we had cotton wool we had Lamb's wool we had
01:00:02
foam we had so much in there to stop any jarring um but yeah we we got around it
01:00:08
and that's how my bike is still set up today um and they're just actually
01:00:13
looking it's cuz it's all made of carbon at the moment they're just starting to
01:00:18
look at a new way of being able to do a 3D printed one so it's lighter and a
01:00:23
little bit more Flex in it for me so um yeah they're amazing down there at the
01:00:28
limb Center in Wellington freaking cool clever guys so when when able-bodied people do these um these sort of events
01:00:35
there pain that you have like there's pain on your lungs pain in your legs whatever what extra pain do you have
01:00:41
above and beyond that um is it just Stumpy stump like a burning sensation or throbbing or she's firing right yeah
01:00:48
when I say she he he's firing you know he's been a typical male a right prick
01:00:53
you know um just been a pain in the ass literally you know real pain it's it's
01:00:59
it's a pain that you can't describe D um yeah it's it's not a pain
01:01:08
that I can describe to people because people wouldn't believe it um but you know I I've found ways of
01:01:18
just getting getting out there doing things I feel if I'm doing something and
01:01:22
keeping active it um helping with that pain even though I'm in pain and I'm
01:01:29
causing myself pain mentally I feel like that and physically that I'm helping that pain yeah you're
01:01:37
making yourself stronger building resilience yeah but how do you um like how do you how do how do you block that
01:01:42
out like do you do you have mantras or anything or do you um I just you know I have got a mantra um yeah and I my man
01:01:49
is I may only have one Wing but I can still fly and that's what I have I have to say
01:01:55
to myself or when I am in this pain I just say don't give in it comes from within and when I say within I mean it's
01:02:05
what's in your heart you know if we really want something we'll dig deep and
01:02:11
we'll do it you know we'll find a way but we have to find that way nobody else
01:02:17
will do it for us so so that pain that you're talking about is that only when you're like
01:02:22
competing and pushing it or is that training as well every it's everyday pain I'm in that pain every day mate so
01:02:29
when you're in when you're um this is the first time you know you're a prick
01:02:33
because you're making me open up about it do don't to get the tissues I can get
01:02:37
the tissues no I I don't want tissues that's a sign of weakness it's no I
01:02:42
don't no I don't seriously it's it's because um it's from the heart you know
01:02:51
um I I don't talk about the pain people don't understand or know that I'm in
01:02:57
because I've learned to hide that but should you um I don't want people to see me
01:03:03
weak no that's a weakness to me yeah and I don't want to be weak Dum yeah I want
01:03:09
to be that strong person you know don't get me wrong I have some days at home where I'm weak you when like when
01:03:18
you when you're trying I'm thinking again I'm probably projecting here but
01:03:22
if I was you and I was on that stationary bike in the garage on [ __ ] peton or whatever for 3 hours and it was
01:03:28
it was hurting every second I'd probably have I'd probably cry to myself I have
01:03:33
do you I have done yep yep you know I'm set up in the shed um I'm not like some
01:03:38
people that you know have their bike sit up in the lounge that's to me that my
01:03:43
inside of my home is home my training if I have to train on outside is in the shed I keep that those two lives
01:03:50
separate um so yeah you know there are those sessions where you have to sit on that flaming bike getting numb bum and
01:03:57
you know every other department you know in a uncomfortable State um out in a shed and yeah there are times that yeah
01:04:06
I I I do cry and I and I think it's more just because it it gets overwhelming
01:04:10
it's all too much or yeah yeah some days I do I feel like throwing that session
01:04:15
in but I know that at the end of that session if I didn't do that session you
01:04:20
know what it's like when you're a runner some days you don't want to go out for a
01:04:23
run but when you come back [ __ ] you feel good right feel way better afterwards
01:04:27
yeah you do and that's how I feel about if I was to cut that session short I
01:04:33
wouldn't feel right it wouldn't sit good you know um and I'd probably have to go
01:04:39
back out later into it again cuz the guilts eating you up yeah for sure for sure and you you'd understand that yeah
01:04:47
100% 100% but what what I'm dealing with is not this extra level of adversity or
01:04:53
or pain you know you know what I mean M there's um there's that yeah that term
01:04:57
putting yourself in the pain cave which uh anyone that's done any sort of physical activity will understand but
01:05:02
then but you know that that pain is going to go yeah yeah pain no but what I'm saying sh is your pain doesn't go
01:05:09
like no it's it's constantly there and then when you're doing the exercise it
01:05:13
just gets worse yeah it's rough MH it's a rough hand to be do su sucks mate but
01:05:20
um you know I choose to you know move forward yeah that's any way to go isn't it oh for sure you know
01:05:30
um yeah you know there are some days um ow and may have gone out in the afternoon or something and I've finished
01:05:39
training and I'll go inside and yeah I do I'll have a cry but it's to myself I
01:05:45
won't show that yeah why don't you out of all the people you could show it to
01:05:49
him right would he understand oh absolutely you just preferred it you just prefer to deal with the stuff on
01:05:55
your own I'm juste yeah I I I don't like to show that side of me why is an
01:06:00
embarrassment thing or a pride thing pride thing I think you know I don't want to be seen as that weak
01:06:08
B um yeah but every yeah I mean I I you know what I don't even know I but I feel
01:06:15
like he if he ever listens to this he'll probably hear this and be frustrated
01:06:19
that you don't lean on him a little bit more probably but he knows that you know
01:06:23
he he I think he knows it um I know he's here if I need him he's always there um so I yeah he I think
01:06:35
he's learned now just you know don't don't 30 years don't even ask her you
01:06:41
know just roll your eyes and go oh here we go again you know here she you know um I think he's sort of got used to
01:06:49
me um and I say that in the way that I think he's got used to my ways my new
01:06:55
ways yeah so like who do you talk to about this you like you know you're talking to
01:07:02
me today about it but you talk to anyone else about it no this is the first time
01:07:06
I've really opened up Don so you you've been freaking privileged you buer um you
01:07:11
know I I don't open up yeah but it's good I Sharon like it don't you dare
01:07:18
Sheron as I said I'm only get called that when my mother tells me off but you
01:07:23
know um it's not a therapy session you know but I feel I can open up to you because I
01:07:29
feel that I you can relate yeah um you know you've had some [ __ ] times in your
01:07:34
life but as as I said earlier like from doing this podcast like almost two years
01:07:39
now every single person has has or will go through some sort of adversity it's
01:07:43
all on a different level but uh and it's how we want to progress with that adversity or if we want to progress some
01:07:52
people can some people can't H yeah I mean you you can you can easily make yourself a victim and no one no one
01:07:58
would no one would begrudge you you you've got every right in the world to but it's like it's not going to help you
01:08:02
grow is it it's not it's not going to help me or my journey you know my journey is about having the best life
01:08:10
and mate I am yeah even though I have this pain um you know as I say um it's not about that it's about my
01:08:21
journey and how exciting that you're on the the I suppose the downward slide of
01:08:25
life on the the Apex you know you're your second half of your life but it's
01:08:29
also like a new beginning oh it's the best part of my life yeah you know um I
01:08:34
would never have achieved or done half of the things I've done Dom if I hadn't
01:08:40
a met Stumpy yeah you you could have though hey why wouldn't you have though
01:08:43
oh mate I wouldn't have been able to travel the world like I have no no but you you could have and it would have
01:08:48
been considerably easier like doing things like Triathlon or swimming or Coast to Coast um but
01:08:54
you you you waited until things got very very difficult for yourself before you decided to but but that's what makes
01:09:01
challenge even more rewarding yeah you know um and like I say it's always been
01:09:06
about if one person can see me doing it and it encourages them to get out and do
01:09:12
something I feel like I've achieved what I've set out to do D oh I think there's
01:09:18
there's more than one you make yeah a lot of people feel like sex is [ __ ] well
01:09:22
I don't mean to do that I really really that's not my intention Dom don't go
01:09:28
that far um yeah no it's more yeah I just if I can encourage others yeah just
01:09:34
you know just because we're challenged there's no reason why we cannot still
01:09:39
succeed at things and it doesn't have to be mad radical things like I've done
01:09:45
just small steps you know small steps make lead to bigger steps don't they yeah absolutely
01:09:53
and and you oh Coast to Coast we haven't even talked Coast to Coast so you've
01:09:56
done Coast to Coast as like part of a team and next year you're going to have
01:10:00
a crack at it as a solo so you do the two-day event so or on your own yeah it'll be a two it'll be the two-day
01:10:05
event um so Coast to Coast um starts early on a Saturday morning shortest bike ride then a massive sort of 30-ish
01:10:13
K Mountain Run y uh then you sleep and then the next day a bike ride again big kayak and a big bike ride yeah that's it
01:10:21
yeah now the I've I've um I've never done the coast to coast but I have done
01:10:25
um the the Run segment of the coast to coast as a guide and it's a a thing called goats pass I'm just wondering how
01:10:33
how you would you would do that because I'm a runner it's not even really a run
01:10:37
you do like you're scrambling over rocks you're waiting through um you know chest
01:10:42
deep water Y how do you how are you going do numerous River Crossings um you know it all depends on the river that
01:10:49
that day and the river levels I can't imagine how you do that that run um without two two hands oh look scrambling
01:10:57
up rocks and don't get me wrong my time was slowed on because I literally I went
01:11:02
down there not knowing I wanted to go into a blind um and just experience the unknown um so when I got down there yeah
01:11:11
and started the goat pass it was like okay and then there was Parts where it was like holy [ __ ] balls you know I have
01:11:18
to literally stop and watch the Able Body scramble over and then go how the freak am I going to do this yeah did you
01:11:28
have you have someone with you that's like um lifting you up with a hand or giving you a push on the night nope I
01:11:33
didn't want any support the only time I had a support person that was Brett in
01:11:38
the kayak uh you had a a double k yes and that was purely for safety reasons right um you know the the the organizers
01:11:46
of coasta Coast which I fully understand and respect yeah oh Al how does how does
01:11:51
the kayak work in terms of um so once again the limb Center came up with some NE I met this awesome bird
01:11:58
Alex um the F when I first went down there and done it um Brett who was a plumber the limb Center came up with a
01:12:07
socket and a hun of pipe that stuck out like this Brett being a plumber he walked into the shop and said we need to
01:12:14
find something that's going to hook over your paddle so he found a um like a hose
01:12:19
half a hose clip like this steel hose clip M he screwed that in there on the end and then he got two $1 rubber
01:12:28
O-rings we put this the socket and this clamp on my pedal and he used these two $1 O-rings to hold it on that's how we
01:12:38
got down the Y Macer River of a 70 Cas so so so your left um your left stump is attached to the pedal what happens if
01:12:45
you if you ass out I'm stuck on with my paddle Stumpy and I like this yeah um so
01:12:54
so yeah so Brett done that and then um because I decided I wanted to have a go um I was very very lucky to have
01:13:02
Brett honestly um if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have got down there but I I had
01:13:08
the cruisy part I sat in the back of the kayak just you know um a lot of time Breck didn't know I was in
01:13:16
tears because I was in so much pain with having to put Stumpy and use the force of the
01:13:25
pedal so um yeah say every stroke hurt so every time every stroke I'd sort of
01:13:31
think it's one less stroke you have to do Shaz just keep going it's one less
01:13:36
you got to do so yeah um he didn't know or wasn't aware that a lot of the time I
01:13:42
was crying but of course you'd see the photographer and you'd go yay hi as you
01:13:49
do um but yeah so so we got down there but when we we got back and I decided I wanted to have a go at doing the coast
01:13:58
completely solo because I didn't feel like I'd achieved it solo because I was in a double kayak so
01:14:05
yeah I contacted coast and they approved me to do it on the condition that I have
01:14:11
somebody in another kayak behind me just shadowing me oh yeah which I fully get once again so I've got Duncan who's
01:14:19
coming along um and he's been on pretty much of the kayak Journey with me um and
01:14:26
he's going to come down and be my support person so honestly Dom will I be able to do the kayak section and finish
01:14:35
the event I really really don't know ah but giving it a red hot crack right y y
01:14:39
you don't know unless you try right yeah so yeah yeah phib here we come how good
01:14:45
and I'm not sure when this podcast is going to come out but um November 18 mhm
01:14:51
uh 2023 you in to kayak the length of take Lake Tapo which is 46 K yeah so if you can do the coast to coast that'll be
01:14:59
would this be easy no um so so this is toally by the way I say easy like you just sit there and call Easy dud yeah
01:15:08
you're looking at someone that gets in a kayak for five minutes when they're in
01:15:11
Fiji and then gets bored shitless so I'm sorry 46 K is never how long would that
01:15:15
take you and well I just done a um sort of a bit of a wacky just last week actually and went to TPO and I've done
01:15:24
36 K in um just under four hours you might as well say but it's totally different than on the river because the
01:15:31
river you've still got the river flow which is yeah the Rapids pushing you along yeah yeah that's why I wondered if
01:15:35
it was like easier than so no I I I find this harder because on the lake because
01:15:41
you're literally having to propel yourself along aren't you right so um yeah it's going to be big ask but if um
01:15:50
I decided I wanted to do this to try and raise funds for kidney kids oh yeah cuz
01:15:55
you've only got one kidney yeah yeah when did you discover that oh a few years back now right right but um just
01:16:01
so you went through all your you you got through all your early years till middle
01:16:04
age or whatever and what does it mean only having one kidney nothing yeah I've got one arm so
01:16:12
I might as well have one kidney right just call me you know halfer but um yeah you're like brisos
01:16:20
50% off exactly um but you no yeah it I hasn't altered me but I just sort of
01:16:27
think well it's some I wanted to give back to somebody or some charity so it
01:16:33
was obviously kidney kids came to my light and it was like well you know if I can help do something for these kids I'd
01:16:41
like to so so yeah they've set up a give a little page um under Limitless shares
01:16:47
and um we're trying to raise some funds for them so yeah hopefully we can um um
01:16:53
and I'm also going to do that for coast to coast as well so I'm doing it for
01:16:57
them yeah how good oh that's great it's a hell of a story it's a good story yeah
01:17:04
it is good it is good he yeah totally I mean I love my I love my new Journey mate I really do I'm in sort of I'm in
01:17:10
sort of two minds about it because it's um you know had you had you after the
01:17:15
accident had you left the arm which was useless and ornamental for all intent and purpose I mean you wouldn't have had
01:17:22
the pain that you're in now possibly not but that but we don't know that pain
01:17:27
could have eventuated yeah to a higher intensity as it went on as well Dom so I don't know it's that what if um but why
01:17:36
wait for that what if you don't know so you know like I said move on Cut The
01:17:42
bugger off yeah and you did you definitely did and when you when you stand in front of the marinaire like you
01:17:50
like what you see abely you love the new sh here oh for sure yeah yeah for sure I
01:17:55
mean I'm still me yeah you know um I haven't changed well even new and improved I mean the things you're doing
01:18:01
now like you never did it before I'm a better person I honestly believe I'm a
01:18:05
better person yeah do you yep yeah I really do I really do think I'm a better
01:18:10
person I mean physically you're fitter but what do you mean better though uh
01:18:13
mentally yeah I mean I was never mentally um unwell but I just feel like mentally
01:18:22
I've got strong stronger um more resilient um but I never really thought about that but it's just yeah I'm a
01:18:32
better me totally um I feel a better person I love who I am I love Yeah stumpy in I we're
01:18:42
one yeah we're one and I I believe you when you say you wouldn't you wouldn't change it no not
01:18:51
at all no I would never turn the clock back how good if that accident had never happened
01:18:57
with the the the gate and the go I wouldn't be who I am today yeah yeah what do you think your life would look
01:19:01
like now have you ever paused to reflect on that just just going through the motions yeah I'd just be a normal person
01:19:07
like you how Bloody boring right so boring well there's a lot there's a line
01:19:11
from a movie I really like um sh Shank Redemption yes um the line is like get busy living or get busy dying I suppose
01:19:18
like and I I don't say this in a mean way I'm probably busy dying and probably
01:19:22
99 % of people are like you're just going through motion I suppose now you're getting getting busy living yeah
01:19:28
totally I am I'm really living now yeah I I'm living I'm loving my living I'm
01:19:34
loving my life I love who I am um I'm proud of myself yeah could you say that
01:19:43
beforehand no I can sit here now and yeah it's the first time I've probably
01:19:48
even said that D you know Jesus you're a prick you're really making I've done nothing you know um yeah yeah
01:19:56
I I can honestly say I'm proud of myself and that's the first time I've said that
01:20:00
man that's cool and are you enjoying I mean um I was going to say the the level
01:20:05
of Fame you've got now but there's I mean there's not really there was a
01:20:07
story in the woman you've had a story on the women's day I saw there's a great
01:20:10
piece that um the attitude TV show did on you there's been a couple of podcasts
01:20:14
and bits and pieces but yeah you're enjoying this um and oh you've done some
01:20:19
keynote speaking and some public speaking as well yeah yeah I mean who would have thought that right you know
01:20:24
who the hell would have thought I would be standing up talking to 350 people looking at all these eyes looking at you
01:20:30
you know you know what it's like um it's it's a whole new world isn't it you know
01:20:36
and I would never have had all these opportunities D never so um you're you're the architect of that though you
01:20:43
created it I mean you could have your arm lobbed off and go to yourself well this is this is the end this is the end
01:20:48
of life I know it but for you it was like and you've literally you know put this into action you've made it a new
01:20:55
beginning yeah I have yeah yeah you've done that um I wasn't living before but I am now yeah like I say you
01:21:04
know um my Mantra to myself is I may only have one Wing but I can still fly and I think everybody should have a
01:21:12
mantra that they should live up to I'm sure you've got one have you yeah this one this one I really like
01:21:21
um there's a guy called haes he's on a lot of podcasts he's an American Bow
01:21:24
Hunter and an ultra distance Runner I don't know if he came up with this or if
01:21:28
it's just a thing but his slogan is um nobody cares work harder and what it means is um like I suppose in your
01:21:34
situation you could be like oh if you know palis North Hospital didn't do this
01:21:37
then I would have had my arm and it's like no one cares just work harder and I
01:21:41
feel like you epitomize that oh oh thanks yeah thanks you know you you can sit around bitching about it or you can
01:21:47
just get on the bike and suck it up get on get on with life you know we only have one chance right
01:21:53
make the flame and most of it honestly well there's another quote I really like
01:21:57
it's um you have um two lives and the second life only begins when you realize
01:22:01
you actually only have one y yeah and I'm so pleased that you're making the
01:22:04
most of it yeah honestly wouldn't turn the clock back yeah and thank you so much for sharing your story not a
01:22:10
problem at all you've you made me open up so um yeah you did Dom so thanks well
01:22:17
I appreciate it now I'm going to take you back to the airport and let's hope
01:22:19
um let's hope the plane has two Wings what's your thing about wing and flying
01:22:24
what's that what's your what's your quote about wings and flying I mainly
01:22:27
have One Wing I only have I might only have one Wing but I can still fly well let's hope the plane has two bloody
01:22:34
wigs I'm sure it will do Shar dig from Fielding Limitless um all the best for
01:22:41
the future Coast to Coast Lake toppo and whatever challenges you you cook up next
01:22:46
and I'm sure these going to be many yeah for sure thanks so much Dom it's been
01:22:49
pleasure to be here a