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David NE welcome to my podcast hey thank you so much for having me mate mate I'm
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excited about this day who would have thought he who would have thought the the the scrawny kid from wellsly college
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um who was considered dumb by the system has now got a [ __ ] book yeah I know uh man and the thing is the book wasn't
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even in my sort of range of of vision you know I was I was concentrated on doing my education I was on on work and
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then out of the blue I get a uh a phone call from the publisher saying we we want you to write a book for us and I
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was like what the heck so it was a it was a bit of a surprise yeah very humbling too oh massively
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gratifying I've written books as well and I think it's the same sort of thing
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like I would have never had the I don't know like arrogance confidence whatever think I'm going to write acking
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book but when aish comes to you and says you should do this's a market for it
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it's incredbly gratifying yeah and and I think what's gratifying for me now is um
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you know like it wasn't on the radar I spent a lot of time and I I was very blessed to
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have a lady who helped me write the book Nick McCoy um I know Nick oh she's such
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a lovely lady and she was really clear that um you know she said we we're going
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to keep this sort of in a narrative that's you you know we're not going to
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try and like I said before we're not going to try and make there something more than what it is uh and
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um yeah so I was a little apprehensive um a little out of my depth I thought and um and here it is now that it's
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published uh I'm getting feedback from people and it just blows my mind uh people that are really enjoying it so
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it's it is it's bloody humbling yeah so the book is called the winning mindset
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book aside what is the winning mindset yeah well you know it it's it's B it's
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one of those subjective things mate for for you it could be winning a marathon for someone else it's overcoming a fear
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for someone else it's it's been able to present in front of a 100 people you
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know um ultimately you know what I want to be able to do is is give them a tool box of
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uh Concepts that help them overcome and become the best version of themselves and what's your nickname Mike Hoskin
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gave you a nickname on seven sh years ago and it sort of stuck what is it the the Yoda the the something yeah handsome
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Yoda no I think he fancied me no uh the the something Yoda yeah that's right I
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don't know that was gez that was a long that was for Lydia yeah that's a long
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time ago yeah well okay since you mentioned your name this I think this is probably a great way to start there's a
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con between who you are what you do and some of the people you've worked with so
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um the out of all the um high-profile people people you've worked with these
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two probably intrigue me the most um just because of the difference and what they do who they are in their Sports
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Lydia Co and Israel atna so Lydia Co um the the goat of women's golf and the
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greatest golf in New Zealand's ever produced yeah um you started working with her when she was um how old oh she
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was about eight right um and how how did that relationship come about well her coach guy wison um and and and I were uh
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worked together when we created The Institute of golf and through that you know we
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identified kids with talent and obviously the mental part was important and he made the introduction and and it
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just grew from there uh and what what been eight years working excuse me with lyia but what do you do because um
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you're like part of your I I was going to call it shtick but it's not really
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part of your thing is um you know you you you don't pull punches um it's like
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a tough love sort of approach what what the [ __ ] are you doing with like an eight-year-old kid yeah but with lyia I
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think what it was is enhancing a young lady who already had the right attitude um and it wasn't like it was a an
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intensive uh once a week sort of scenario you know uh it was more a very softer action reflection process um and
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I think the most important thing with Lydia she was really curious about um how she could be get how she could
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become you know a better golfer and and there were there were plenty of moments of frustration for Lydia and I think one
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of the contributing factors to her playing so well and developing so uh quickly probably was the fact that um
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before Lydia I had a young lady called Cecilia Cho who was the world number one amateur and Cecilia and Lydia played
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against each other and so there was this rivalry which I think uh there's nothing
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really as powerful as having some rivalry you know it just sharpens the sore so to speak uh it really does and
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it really it really benefit I mean there were times when Lydia was in the office
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she was very upset cuz she lost uh and you know she had to learn how to navigate her way through that and
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ultimately get herself into a position that she started winning consistently and that builds the momentum the belief
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and the potential and all these things grow to a point where where we have now as a young lady who's not even 30 in the
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Hall of Fame oh she's done it all like Olympic it's outstanding oh my God she's
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amazing so at that age um yeah who was driving her was it from her parents or was it from no Lydia was self-driven and
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again this is another thing that you know we've had over the years is you know her parents really drove drove her
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uh that is not uh what her parents were were incredibly supportive of a young lady and I tell the story I think one of
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the keys to Lydia's success was the one question that she would ask constantly
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at the range and and you you know she'd be the last one at the run she she had a
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key to lock up you know and the the last thing she would ask when Mom was cold tired and wanting to go home she would
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ask can I just hit one more and when she's hit that one she'd ask again can I
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just hit one more uh she was committed she was tenacious she outworked people wow I got good bumps hearing that so are
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you still in touch or not or is of a transactional Ab no we're still in touch
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absolutely yeah so you send her a message when she wins a gold medal yeah actually uh I think her book has just
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arrived uh at her place in uh in Florida won't give the address away uh but yeah
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you know she's looking forward to getting the book yeah how good and um yes on the other end of the completely
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different sport you you can't think of more different sports and sports people
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than um you know a young female golfer and um you know I wanabe UFC fighter who's going on to do incredible things
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so you started working with um Israel when he was um like a kickboxer that was losing fight yeah so he yeah he was
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struggling a little bit um it was 2016 and uh I think it was his his coach and and I think the possibly the
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girlfriend at the time sort of kept talking about me and eventually we teed up to have a catch up um and again
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here's the other thing about uh exceptional athletes like Lydia in in Israel uh they understood the importance
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of the mental aspect uh and they were very keen and curious to investigate you know they were very open
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to to doing anything to give them the mental Edge uh so the the thing that like with Israel that we started with
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was sort of helping him to identify as a UFC champion and you know there's a little story that I tell
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actually you got two stories one for ly and one for Israel what I think is really important is you know you you
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always want to work with the Ender mind and and so that means you got to create the vision and when I work with my
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clients I get them to create a vision board so Lydia went away and and she brought me her vision board and what she
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had done she had golf Dodges magazine cover with Anica senson holding the US Open and what Lydia had done is she had
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cut off Ana's head and popped her head on top of it now I love that cuz it's
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sensory specific she was clear on what she wanted right now the the wonderful story with Israel is the same thing and
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and what was really cool is uh Mike angrove who was one of the the trainers at City kickbox he he had uh Izzy
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staying with him and he came home one afternoon cuz these kids you know they train three times a day and he's having
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a thought he having a little snooze and there's Israel uh looking up at his vision board and what he had done he got
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one of his mates to take a photo of him and superimpose the middleweight UFC championship belt around him and so mik
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goes past and there's Israel at the edge of his bed looking up at this vision
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board G on the UFA UFC middleweight champion of the world now the one thing you constantly hear from uh Israel now
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is I manifested this so it's the power of vision you know thoughts become things and that's that's the power of of
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aligning in ttention with our tension and and and you you create uh something that you become obsessed with a behavior
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do you know what I mean and it's it's it's knowing exactly what you want where
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you're going and creating it of little small steps each and every day so that stuff actually works the vision
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Bo course it does yeah absolutely what what what other stuff would they have on the vision board or do you just need one
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thing like no no no it could be a number of things in fact I even how it all came
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about is I had one so uh 200 1994 uh when I thought about my ultimate Vision I'm a printer at this point I'm
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on $6 an hour as a bloody printer and a hating the job yeah out out copies Women's Day magazine
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[ __ ] I hated that with a passion um and I I had this I drew this picture of me
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of a guy on stage which was me on stage with my hands up with a whole lot of thousands of people watching me because
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that sort of visually represented the ultimate version of me and uh years later it's it's become a constant
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reality it's it's pretty powerful man so when you reach where you want to go so
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Foria Co making on the cover of oh hey Bella hello thank you thanks B lovely how's that
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Jack oh my BM that's good cool that's all right thank you Bella thank you so so the
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examples you gave with Izzy with the belt on and um lyia Co on the cover of golf dig magazine do does the vision
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board constantly change like yeah it can change I mean here's the thing it's it
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there's there's a certain level of specificity that's required in it and
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it's got to be sensory specific to the person because you know I get the kids
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to do it and what they'll do is they'll have pictures of their Idols right and
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I'll go is that specific to you because you know the Mind wants specificity right you know when you think about goal
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setting what's the first thing in the formula is smart right so it's got to be
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specific and it needs to be sensory specific so that the the the subconscious mind identif
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fights so you know I get these kids to go away and they start getting pictures of themselves uh achieving what what you
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know their ultimate goals are but having said that there's a number of different
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things I had uh I had another uh golfer Michael Hendry that I've worked with and
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you know he had he had uh he wrote out a check for over a million dollars to himself to win on tour you know what Jim
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Carrey did the same thing I think with a 5 million yeah man Michael's achieved
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that constantly you know so you you've put it this way if I said to you I'll
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give you a million dollars what's the first thing you're going to ask well where is it you know
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and let's get clear on what the hell I want you know so you know what happens
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with a lot of people is that we're we're ambigu we're we're we're ambiguous with
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our language for instance people constantly say something like you know I wish I had more money so you go down the
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local Dairy you you grab a few things you get some change you get a scratchy you win
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$2 you got more money but are you happy so the power of focus on specificity is really important what
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exactly do you want well how much money do you want you absolutely yeah yeah I I
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know for me one of the things in in the the early chapter of the book is you know if you couldn't fail what would you
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like to do yeah I read that part in the book and um I think the thing for me that felt uh
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quite confronting about that is I didn't even know I didn't even know the
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answer and that in itself is an answer isn't it because what it now you have to
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do is that you've challenged to really kind of ask better quality questions so
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the fundamental thing here is the quality of your life is directly related to the quality of the questions you ask
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of yourself and others and it's too easy when I say to so the kids if you could
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not fail what would you like to do and the initial response is I don't know and then I'll go but if you did
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know what would you say and you got to start challenging people because you know we've got to be consciously engaged
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through that the beautiful thing we we've got personal agency you know and it's up to us and you start challenging
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people to think and the other thing is you weave into that something like well you know give yourself permission to
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dream big right uh and then I get all sorts I far I like Air Force I want to be on a rocket and and all these things
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and for the young kids it's not like we have to go oh don't be don't be stupid
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there's no way I it I want to encour enourage the kids to dream big and then
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over a period of time as they mature they'll get a little bit more clarity but at least they' got the habit of
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asking themselves better quality questions that will set them up to put them on a better path to I mean there's
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nothing more exciting in than knowing where you're going and and and and and
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striving for that yeah as opposed to being lost yeah well my um from the from where I'm sitting now as a 51 year old
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man like one of my big regrets is probably not dreaming bigger but when you're a kid growing up in um a town
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called pist north um yeah I suppose like being on the radio seemed like the the the most outlandish outrageous but it's
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appropriate to you though isn't it yeah yeah yeah I mean you could have been
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someone working on a laboring job still in the same town yeah that's true you
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know it's all proportionate depending on what each individual you and I are alike
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I mean I'm a South Oakland boy who left school with no qualifications got a job
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as a printer miserable and then suddenly I decided you know enough's enough I'm going to
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just start designing my life now when I think about how I live my life now as I said to you it's Friday I don't work
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Fridays I have Friday Saturday Sundays off and when you think about the amount of clients that I see
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fundamentally I work a two-day working week now going back to when I was a I used to get excited about doing 60-day
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60 hour weeks cuz I needed the freaking money and I was excited about overtime yeah those factory jobs are hard it's
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[ __ ] I hated it absolutely hated it yeah so um we'll poke around some of the
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other um organizations and people you've worked with and then we'll get into the
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um the Dave story so yeah you mentioned Michael Hendry before how he was at the Olympics recently how's he doing cuz he
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got diagnosed with cancer like um a year and a bit ago oh man I'll tell you that
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was that was uh I remember uh having a conversation with him and I want obviously out of respect for Mike I'm
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not going to go into great depth but you know we we discussed the inevitable potentially um and that was a tough
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conversation the inevitable being de absolutely you know uh and you know what's what process do we have to set up
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in case that does happen you know uh but Michael's uh a acious stubborn bastard
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and he he was he was determined to to conquer this and uh we had a few sessions and uh honestly hats off to
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that guy I think a lot of it comes down to his mindset I think his driving force
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though ultimately was uh his wife and his daughters family is really important for Mike Mike's very he's not a uh he's
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in the Limelight with his golf but ultimately he would just like to be at home with his kids MH yeah and the the
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breakers yeah they were you work with the breakers 2015 oh man I I tell you I love working with them yeah how so I can
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understand like working with individuals but how does how does that apply when it
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it's magnified to a team yeah well obviously there was a combination of the collective working with you know uh you
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know uh the the vision the goals for the team and then from there I started working with the individual
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and he here's a here's I've worked with some amazing guys but I remember we we
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ran a seminar uh for the boys and uh a lot of the Imports and a guy called AA who who that
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was a dude that put up the shot on the buzzer for uh the breakers to win the NBL I think it's two
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2016 anyway so I run the seminar and afterwards [ __ ] a big way jumps up and he goes you know what you are man you're
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real [ __ ] you're real it just he loved it right and I've kept in touch
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ever since you know it's and I think that's what a lot of the athletes like
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working with me is um I'm I'm sort of a bluecollar guy I can understand what
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they've gone through I've pushed myself to the limits physically uh with with
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the p of and strong man uh and and there's a there's a mutual understanding
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uh and a respect there um and I think that's sort of gives me that little bit
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of edge your your opening line is um do you give me permission to be blunt and honest yeah yeah um that that's your
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opening line for everyone yes not not all the time but most of the time I mean you know I'm not
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going to say that to a a 12-year-old coming for the first time right I don't
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want to scare the [ __ ] I'll scare the [ __ ] out of them and then make them
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perform yeah yeah because um I think it's a good good thing to say especially
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in this day age we oh don't get me on this yeah yeah no I I look I the one thing that I am absolutely committed to
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is to be blunt and honest because you know we tiptoe around emotions now listen this is where I've said you know
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I'm mental performance I'm not mental health right mental performance is
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performance and you can't [ __ ] foot around if you're a powerlifter who wants
00:21:03
to hit a a 220k bench mate you can't have any freaking doubt in your head if
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you're about to go into a fight you can't have doubt in your head if you're
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going and you have doubt that can potentially contaminate your round when you're playing tournaments you're not
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going to win you must have uh an undoubtable belief in self you have to be able to manage your mind in such a
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way that your thoughts and your feelings and your actions are congruent with what
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the outcome is what you want to create so so being blunt and honest like how does that look um in the early days with
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um those examples before like Lydia Co and isna Y um I'll call them out on the
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victim story right right yeah so is's victim story well I he didn't have a
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victim story per se but generally you know you get clients that you know it's
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hard for me and and one of the things that I'm trying to sort of reiterate is
00:22:04
the importance of uh language you know listen to what you're saying right what's the goal I want to be world
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champion okay so what are you speaking right now oh it's really hard for me to
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get motivated uh or I put someone on a pedestal you know I love to be like well you put people on a pedestal you give
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your power away so it's calling them out on and ensuring their idty they go to a place where they
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become clear and congr right so see someone like Lilia the picture you P you've painted of her is um a kid
00:22:48
that just wants has the strive to be the best so how you blunt and honest with her you you you tell her to rain it in
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or I didn't have to be blunt and honest with liia you had permission to but you
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didn't exercise the right Lydia Lydia was honestly easy because when she had a session with me
00:23:09
the first part of the session obviously was to bowl up and play with my dogs before she came and because that was
00:23:15
more important to her when she was 8 9 10 11 right and then we sit down and we had a real simple action reflection
00:23:22
process right so we talk about we we we talk about the tournament and it's about
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who learning to be able to reflect in such a way that we could be critical without
00:23:35
undermining yourself confidence right so you know she would start talking about I
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got a little anxious on the first tea probably because there was a lot of people there okay so how do we deal with
00:23:47
that um I got a little anxious CU my chipping wasn't very good that day right
00:23:53
but how do you overcome what can we do to overcome that um because gol's not
00:23:58
not a game of perfect so ultimately what it is is that you need to be able to control what you can
00:24:04
control now the foundation of that control is in the physiology and you to learn how to manage your mind and
00:24:14
body it improves probability it can't guarantee a win but it improves probability now when you get a Continuum
00:24:23
on that and you build the momentum on that you end up with a Lydia Co who constantly
00:24:30
winning that's the key yeah [ __ ] that's powerful isn't that so so the stuff you do like how does I can
00:24:38
understand um with these high performers because if you if you think like the pyramid you know the Israel Adas or the
00:24:44
Michael Hendry or the lyia co they um they want someone that's going to going
00:24:48
to thres them and be blunt and honest yeah yeah um how does that work when you're doing like a keynote speech to
00:24:54
150 accountants or whatever [ __ ] accountants mate I'll tell you the the thing is you
00:25:02
know the the it's all scalable right it's all applicable though you know the
00:25:09
the importance of managing yourself through your self awareness you right I mean fundamentally you cannot change
00:25:18
anything you don't first recognize so how I you know things like being aware
00:25:23
of your language your representation you know think about this some people winter [ __ ] on about the
00:25:29
cold other people ski it's perception right yeah yeah yeah and [ __ ] you know we go through life and
00:25:37
we have all these filters some people go Doom and Gloom and that's reflected in
00:25:42
their language actually um yeah when we're recording this it was um a few days after the most recent UFC in pth
00:25:50
305 um and did you watch that by chance oh hell yeah so so um I bring this up as
00:25:55
an example because um like for me it would be the most unfathomable thing like the worst fear being in the octagon
00:26:01
and then um I can't imagine what it look like after four rounds um just the fear
00:26:06
in my eye you wouldn't be any you wouldn't be pretty anymore that's well I
00:26:09
wouldn't I wouldn't actually I'll take that back I wouldn't I wouldn't be at
00:26:12
the point where I'm sitting in between round four and round five but but here
00:26:15
we have um Dan the H hangman hooker um gashes all over his face blood pissing out of his face in between round four
00:26:23
and round five the fight's still in the balance um and he's sitting on the stool
00:26:27
with you know Eugene whispering in his ear big smile on his face and then he's
00:26:31
caught on Mike saying I love this [ __ ] okay so here's the thing look at that
00:26:36
representation when you love something right you want to do it don't you you mean how do you train yourself
00:26:43
to like love being well again you know how long has he been fighting so it's
00:26:50
understandable for you who's never been in enough ring or in the fight so to
00:26:53
speak to go I just can't understand that but I I would say that Dan would be
00:26:58
sitting here and going what sort of [ __ ] would goes and runs 60 km you know [ __ ] 100K runs and ultramarathon say
00:27:06
you n what's the point there's no point I rather have something active where I'm
00:27:12
punching someone on the face so we're all different man you know um but ultimately for what I've taught what I
00:27:20
teach my clients is the performance window and there are basically three states right and I like to keep things
00:27:28
simple three is a good number so the base of that is calm right now you can't make good decisions when
00:27:36
you're not calm when you're hysterical you make dumb decisions right so you got
00:27:41
to be calm the next is Happy when you're happy it's very hard to access negative
00:27:48
selft talk or doubt right what's the physiology on your face when you're
00:27:51
happy it's you know and people like that uh how do you know when someone's
00:27:56
depressed well down so we learn to reframe things to serve us and then the ultimate is obviously what I talked
00:28:05
about was the the alter ego and that's where you have the style Bender that's
00:28:10
where you have all sorts of different alter egos that people can use to help them go to another level of focused
00:28:19
performance right that makes a yeah yeah I had um Michaela blide on the podcast recently from the uh the New Zealand
00:28:26
Sevens just recently back from Paris and um yeah she she calls herself on the field Minnie yep and Minnie is a
00:28:33
different person to yeah Michaela is Immortal and she has limitations uh but what was her ego
00:28:41
Minnie Minnie is is Flawless Fearless amazing you know I've worked with this
00:28:48
all the time now here's a prime example because we are very good at uh creating
00:28:55
a story that can sabotage our potential right so I had a lady come and see me and she said look Dave uh I need some
00:29:04
help I've got a a tournament coming up for a golf and I can't play I can't play
00:29:09
um bunker shots and she said please I need you to come and help me and I said okay and so we went out this little
00:29:16
corner of the of of the golf course I threw some golf balls and then I said you know show me goes look I'm just
00:29:22
[ __ ] useless and she she's working hard to prove to me that she can't now she wants a change in 30 seconds
00:29:31
right now I'm pretty good at what I do and I I like this sort of challenge right so I said to her you know what
00:29:37
we're going to do because I know how important it is for you right now to make that change to be able to really
00:29:43
hit those bunker shots easily and effortlessly whenever you hop in that R so I'm starting a hypnotic [ __ ]
00:29:49
language uh and I said I want you now just to are you are you prepared to play a game with me she goes yeah I said okay
00:29:58
all I want you to do is to act and pretend that you're Anica senson and there's a whole lot of girls
00:30:05
here and you're doing a seminar on how to get out of a bunker right so I want
00:30:10
you to close your eyes and I want you to associate so immediately when she Associated into
00:30:16
Anica senson what happened the physiology changed right so the shoulders are back
00:30:22
the right and and that's when I I anchored the state and I said now I'm when you open your eyes your anaka s and
00:30:29
there's three balls in there show us how it's done so okay well couple of key
00:30:35
things so she's going now you need to set your feet so that the club doesn't
00:30:39
blah blah blah and she goes through and she hits the shot up like that far from the
00:30:44
hle she goes what the [ __ ] have you done to me and I said I haven't done anything
00:30:50
You' done it to yourself you self sabotage you know like I said you cannot change anything you don't first
00:30:57
recognize and one of the key things you need to recognize is what is the story I'm telling myself I did it for years I
00:31:05
was constantly seeking affirmation uh or confirmation that I was thick and it wasn't until I was 20
00:31:14
when I was diagnosed as dyslexic that it unlocked a whole new world for me you know [ __ ] then you go on an adventure I
00:31:25
am very much the existential right I think we're thrown in this world we live we die that's it right so for me
00:31:35
I want to get as much out of this time that I'm on this planet as possible that
00:31:40
fascinates me the one thing I get pissed off was people that say they're bored
00:31:46
they're not bored you're just boring so you know I there's so much to
00:31:52
do yeah um you mentioned before um the phrase um self- sabotage yeah can we can we talk about that for a little bit
00:32:00
because I think um yeah my my inner voice I I like I don't I don't it's
00:32:05
nowhere near as good as what it could be but I've I've got a conflicted relationship with it cuz I know it's a
00:32:10
bad thing but then on the flip side of that like I don't want to give myself
00:32:14
too much of a passcard do you know what I mean like I don't want to I feel like
00:32:18
um if flogging myself a little bit gives me a little bit of an age with some things but I know it's unhealthy in
00:32:24
other things so so say for example I'm going for 30k training run and after 10ks I I'm not feeling good so so I call
00:32:32
it done I'm not going to I'm never going to go oh well I'm still proud of myself
00:32:35
I did 10K so that's all good yeah I think you got to be very careful with that right because here's the thing um
00:32:43
and I talk about this so imagine uh a picture or a bowl full of clear crystal clear water and through that water you
00:32:55
can see your vision right now we have something like 60 to 880,000 thoughts a day God knows how poor prick we could
00:33:05
you know imagine trying to count that but anyway through your Consciousness that's the
00:33:11
gatekeeper uh if you're not conscious of it and not self-supportive without being
00:33:16
deluded right but you've got to be more self-supportive because it's a little
00:33:21
bit of D it's insignificant but you can imagine if you had 20,000 negative thoughts
00:33:28
it stains the ball you know what I mean I think there are times where a quality athlete
00:33:37
knows themselves that predominantly consistently over a long period of time I've been consistent with my training
00:33:45
and I pushed myself there are days when you also have to listen to the body because you've tuned into it and give
00:33:53
yourself permission to have a break the challenge that we have is to which the the choice in that moment do
00:34:05
you know what I mean because uh that is where you can start to cheat yourself uh
00:34:13
and that's when I said what's your intention it has to align with your attention and if your attention is not
00:34:20
in alignment with it then you can start sabotaging your ability to progress if you're con going 10ks and the
00:34:29
requirement is 30 and you're constantly going [ __ ] this too hard you know I'm
00:34:34
too tired and that becomes a habitual process that accumulates over a period of time then your mile short of the mar
00:34:42
yeah you got to better call yourself out on your own you have to have a level of
00:34:45
selfawareness you know because what tends to happen is we can create a victim story that then can populate a a
00:34:54
behavior of you know procrastination you know I want my people to be do it now people now ideally it's knowing it's
00:35:03
it's a bit like pain there is pain and there's acute pain so you're you're
00:35:08
running for 10ks and there's an acute pain something's not right you stop
00:35:13
that's smart ideally though uh when you start to feel pain you know that the
00:35:19
better version of you is on the other side of that pain you got to push through that but with when you have Clear
00:35:28
Vision you'll Embrace that challenge because the gift is the challenge the gift is the pain when you learn to
00:35:38
understand that pain is The Universe telling you it loves you [ __ ] you push through that [ __ ] do you know what I
00:35:46
mean it's like [ __ ] bring it I want that [ __ ] suddenly you're down the
00:35:52
hangman [ __ ] and in that moment cuz you know you could quit and you don't quit
00:35:57
what does it do for your self-esteem and confidence you overcome yeah but most people we have this early warning system
00:36:05
when and when we get close to that threshold most people go oh [ __ ] it's just too hard and they're really good at
00:36:10
convincing themselves to fall short and they wonder why they never progress [ __ ] what we talked about this
00:36:19
not just in a physical way but also a mental way the key to success is [ __ ] failure and yet we get so worried about
00:36:28
failing we never fully we we never fully reach our potential we need to be exposed we need
00:36:36
to be vulnerable you know it's [ __ ] awful I remember my ultimate goal one of them
00:36:43
was to be a great public speaker and we're in Vegas and I've got an opportunity to talk in front of 5,000
00:36:50
people with a guest speaker that night Jim Ry who's my [ __ ] Idol and uh like I I'm at the point now
00:36:58
where I'm about to go on stage and I'm desperate for any excuse to not do it
00:37:03
and I came up with something brilliant I said to my wife I can't go on stage I'm
00:37:08
I'm sweating soaking wet it's embarrassing she just pulled it out another [ __ ] t-shirt goes right put
00:37:15
it on [ __ ] off and get out there you know I loved her for that but I I I would I say that I delivered a great
00:37:23
speech in in for me no not really but it wasn't so much about delivering that as
00:37:30
it was overcoming it's the overcoming that's the power right that night having
00:37:37
dinner with my wife I felt a a hand on my shoulder I looked up and it was Jim R and he said mate you you talk really
00:37:46
well uh tonight you have a bright future in this business wow so pain means New Life man it's hard
00:37:56
though he because you know we all know listen to your language we yeah we all know that um yeah failure is um like a
00:38:02
stepping stone to success but it still [ __ ] sucks at the time no no you've
00:38:06
got to learn to reframe things to serve you right then you just think what you just said then it's hard eh well that's
00:38:13
putting up another barrier on top of another bar it's listen I I remember on the other side of
00:38:21
pain is a better version of you right now I I spent time a lot of time in the gym now you've got you know a
00:38:29
320k squat you know something could snap but I know that if I focus on the potential for something to snap then I
00:38:39
am not fully committed and I have to act as if and so that it's overriding that that that fair
00:38:49
response and for me reframing that to serve me f you go on a joury I mean you think of academ yet now I left school
00:38:58
with no qualifications been dyslexic my school C English paper I wrote my name put the
00:39:04
pen down I thought what's the [ __ ] point I'm going to fail anyway later on when I leared that I'm
00:39:11
dyslexic and then leared how to learn here I am now writing papers I'm doing a
00:39:16
degree in philosophy and I'm nailing A's now what's my language about essays now
00:39:23
I absolutely love writing essays I have my own affirmations A+ is most like me sits on my computer and I've been
00:39:33
getting these A's now go back 40 years I wouldn't have thought that what was my language then or what's
00:39:43
the [ __ ] point that becomes your reality so again it's important for people to mind your language be
00:39:51
consciously aware what is the [ __ ] story I'm telling myself then back it up
00:39:56
and understand when I say give yourself permission to be brilliant that is ambiguous be brilliant for you your your
00:40:05
the thing that you want to overcome and this is what Kyle young talked about where fear lies there's your task and
00:40:12
when you start attacking those things [ __ ] you become a better version of yourself you know isn't it interesting
00:40:19
we want a people want confidence but isn't it interesting when we say we build confidence how do we build
00:40:26
confidence we build it through putting ourselves and exposing ourselves to tough conditions face that and when you
00:40:34
overcome [ __ ] you put yourself on the path to happiness man yeah how do you reframe that like if if if you find your
00:40:42
um sort of default setting is um like a like a a negative in a voice or you know
00:40:46
inner voice that's not as kind to you as what it should be how do you programming
00:40:49
all right so you recognize it so you got a a voice saying look I can't run uh ultramarathons
00:40:57
right uh so what I would do is right we get a vision right and Associate to that
00:41:03
so when you think of that moment where you've overcome that what what what do
00:41:08
you feel what do you see get sensory specific with that Vision right now ideally I want you to put that on a
00:41:13
board to remind you every day of what your purpose is now let's start acknowledging what is some of the self
00:41:19
talk uh I don't have the uh experience I don't have the all the [ __ ] excuses
00:41:26
right and then from then I counter it with okay so you got a negative thought uh around um I haven't got physically
00:41:34
what it is required to do this so I'd C it with three affirmations and so I get
00:41:40
these affirmations now here's a prime example um from Michael Hendry took the
00:41:46
affirmations and the vision board to the nth degree he laminated the damn things
00:41:51
and had them in the shower so when you have a shower by yourself and you're washing your hair well I don't obviously
00:41:57
uh but you're washing your hair and you're thinking about things he had these affirmations he's
00:42:03
constantly programming to himself those a what did Israel constitute at the end of his bed I'm the middleweight champion
00:42:09
of the world he didn't even have a [ __ ] contract in 2016 for the UFC and what it does is that these
00:42:19
things compound and then in the moment where you have to start that race oh the fighting light response goes
00:42:28
and that's again you have your affirmations you do uh simple breathing exercise you calm down the you know the
00:42:36
the nervous system uh you then deploy strategies to help support now sometimes it's about divide and conquer with the
00:42:45
goals you're never just going to jump in and go I'm going to do an ultramarathon
00:42:49
you broke it down don't you I'm going to do a 2K walk and then a 5K walk and then
00:42:55
a [ __ ] 1K run and then a 10k run then you know you build it up I mean you be sensible with
00:43:01
it too so what do you have affirmations at the moment like did you do you do any
00:43:06
in the car on the way here or no because I'm well here's the thing one of my
00:43:12
affirmations which is I don't have to have it written down because it's programmed is everyone loves what I have
00:43:18
to say the second one is when my mouth is open I'm open for business I love talking there do you know what I mean
00:43:26
this isn't hard I mean and that's it that that's when you get out of your own way there's no
00:43:33
fear now you go back to that 15-year-old kid at Wesley College [ __ ] that no way did I want to
00:43:42
go on there yeah actually no way this is probably a good chance to Pivot into into more of the um David NE story uh so
00:43:50
far it's been bloody great but it's it's like tips and tools that can help
00:43:53
everyone else so um yeah I've got a quote from you I wanted to be Fearless I
00:43:57
was sick and tired of being scared um so take us back there uh what's it Wellsley wisley wisley
00:44:05
whesley boarding school John wisley so you were a border and I believe it was quite an unpleasant time
00:44:11
it was challenging mate the 1980s yeah mate so the bullying we we we're in an era where uh
00:44:20
Wesley College uh St Stevens you know they were tough tough schools uh here I was you know skinny
00:44:29
little pangy and you know some of these uh marry boys and orlander boys you know at
00:44:35
15 they got beds you know they're physical men they're [ __ ] I reckon I
00:44:41
think it was our my dorm prefect at uh at Junior dorm was a guy called Steve Tang of who was 6'5 and 130
00:44:55
kgs Jesus that's terrifying bu you grown ass man and and I will say to Steve he's
00:45:01
a bloody good bloke he was really good to me in fact I I actually can tell you a story
00:45:08
about Steve Tang of and I hope he's listening so they used to have senior film club right and I really wanted to
00:45:17
go to the senior film club but hey it's only for 18 plus right so Steve said hey
00:45:22
look M I'll get you in I went why the teacher there man you in deep [ __ ] he
00:45:28
goes no no it's all good so he grabs this blanket and he says stand on my feet and he puts the blanket around and
00:45:34
just walks in so here I am 13 big Steve's taken me into a senior film club and I watched The
00:45:46
Exorcist talk about fear so I had to go back to the dorm by myself right you can
00:45:51
imagine the old dorms the the scene you know fck I sh man I I've never sprinted
00:45:58
so hard to get to my bunk um but you know for me there there was a lot of bullying and there was a lot of
00:46:07
occasions where I hated the fact that I was fearful you know it it was kind of weird
00:46:17
man like I could handle the The Hiding but what upset me was the fact that I gave my power away I never wanted to
00:46:26
give my power away what do you mean you gave it away it was kind of taken away wasn't it well and again here's the
00:46:34
thing for me it's sort of like that was my choice I chose to be fearful I I surrendered to the
00:46:43
state and I think most of us would you use that narrative and go well you know it's it's taken off yeah like when you
00:46:50
think about it it's taken off you it presupposes that you had no [ __ ] choice or chance well I did have a
00:46:57
[ __ ] choice and that's when I chose in that moment there was a moment when
00:47:01
I'd had enough and I knew I had to take action now the action I took is not appropriate I I hit the guy squaring the
00:47:09
freaking jaw with everything I had but he's 115 kg first I mean it was like it was like did you just slap
00:47:18
me you know what I mean but but in that moment uh I I took I took something back
00:47:26
i i i overcome something and and and that that was so significant for me I thought hang on it sparked something
00:47:36
like where else can I start applying this and that put me on a path so you know I started it's interesting here I
00:47:44
am doing what I'm doing today and I'm pretty confident even though I had a few challenging teenage
00:47:54
years it started for me when I wrote I read the book Jonathan livon seag yeah it was given to you by a priest right y
00:48:02
Graham kanaine who unfortunately is passed away now that man uh far out he gave me that book and
00:48:11
immediately I could identify as Jonathan now I'm not a a particularly spiritual
00:48:16
person so you know the the spiritual side it was more about I could relate with Jonathan wanting to be the fastest
00:48:25
seagull ever yeah he by the way I I hadn't heard of this book until I started reading yours and then I went
00:48:31
into a a bit of a deep dive on it so it's basically about a seagull all the seagulls just want to scavenge just want
00:48:38
to be do the minimum and survive be part of the flock and survive and Jonathan Jonathan living wanted to be different
00:48:44
he wanted to fly further distances and do more Absolut he wanted more out of life it's a I think it's a lot of that
00:48:50
sort of existentialist sort of theory under underline it which I I absolutely love yeah
00:48:57
and that's what I could relate to and and again this is where you sort of understand you know the most important
00:49:03
project you'll ever work on is you and that I mean what a wonderful way to to live
00:49:11
life cuz most people you know they'll just be part of the flock and then they're
00:49:17
dead what's the [ __ ] point of life yeah yeah you only get one shot in a day
00:49:22
it's not a dress rehearsal [ __ ] there no dress rehearsal here um okay so there's
00:49:27
the bullying at go then you you you hit the hit the bully back which is what it's what everyone says to do but then
00:49:33
what happens does he give you even more of a gave me a [ __ ] ID did he still stop after that or he
00:49:39
stopped after that and and and and and I think it something changed within me uh
00:49:46
and I I'm very obsessive too so obviously what is the solution well it's
00:49:52
pretty clear I'm going to be the biggest strongest mother beep I can possibly be
00:49:58
why are you censoring now yeah I don't know bit [ __ ] late is it uh we'll
00:50:03
beep that beep we'll beep the apology out um but you know it's it's like I
00:50:11
became so the the three things that I conquer that I'm really proud of number
00:50:15
one is is building my confidence um through the bully the second is overcoming public speaking and the third
00:50:23
is Academia um and right like I said I'm nailing A's in My Philosophy papers I am
00:50:32
so [ __ ] proud of myself but my my wife would tell you you know I work my ass off I I would say that you know I
00:50:42
have to do a lot more work being dyslexic I I spend a lot of time in in research I have to do a little bit more
00:50:50
than I envy some of these people that can read a PDF and regurgitate everything in it I need to read it 20
00:50:56
times s you know and take notes and all sorts of things uh but there's no excuse
00:51:01
no excuse you know I I expect days it's quite funny just before you a second ago
00:51:07
you said um I'm [ __ ] proud of myself and um um and you looked me in the eye
00:51:11
when you said it I can tell you it it's a it's a question that I um I ask a lot
00:51:15
of my like podcast guests towards the end I say are you proud of yourself and the reason I ask it is um just the it's
00:51:23
interesting to me how people answer and also how awkward a lot of people about being hit with that question is
00:51:29
that a kiwi thing or what yeah I think I think it's a [ __ ] real issue because
00:51:33
here's what I believe uh I believe you know to a certain point in our culture
00:51:39
uh our history uh our environment you know we're told uh to be humble not egotistical and uh we're told to be very
00:51:53
altruistic right uh I I believe in selfishness I believe it's important to put yourself first and give yourself
00:52:01
permission to put yourself first um but you know we talk about the the virtues uh selfishness is a virtue you
00:52:11
got to give yourself permission to put yourself first right uh the other thing that we we were talking about was being
00:52:19
humble there is a time to be humble but uh at the same time you got to give yourself permission to have undoubtable
00:52:26
belief s and to be proud of yourself there's nothing wrong with being proud man you know I I [ __ ] get what I
00:52:33
deserve and I've work my butt off and I'm proud of myself um because to be
00:52:40
otherwise to be humble all the time I think that uh I I think that disempowers people you know what I mean it's it's
00:52:49
okay to be proud you should be proud of yourself and I think today you know I I actually give my clients an the
00:52:59
affirmation which is I and then they write the full name am undoubtedly proud of
00:53:05
myself uh when you get to that point and you are proud of yourself it has a positive effect on people around you you
00:53:14
get to affect the world in a positive way yeah a and it's contagious like you
00:53:20
want to be people like it man [ __ ] so okay so um you have the incident with the B school then you you get
00:53:28
introduced to the book to the book Jonathan Livingston Seagull y then so how then how do you end up in a in a
00:53:34
shitty like Dead End Printing job mate because the motivation at that point was just to get the hell out of school okay
00:53:41
so you know the old man pulled some strings I mean in back in those days if you were smart you went to University if
00:53:48
you didn't you got a trade so the old man pulled some strings and I did a trade dad was a printer I follow
00:53:56
followed him in a different type of printing but yeah we're both printers you were doing like women's day
00:54:02
magazines or women's weekly you I used to I tell you what I used to do and I
00:54:05
was very good actually uh was women's day cover what mean you were good me and
00:54:13
I'll tell you how there was a guy called Michael Turner who was uh the the publisher who used to come into the P
00:54:21
press pass and he'd always ask me to do it because I had a neck of I knew how he
00:54:28
wanted in particular skin tone on the covers tips of the ink yeah [ __ ] man he was he was particular and and so he
00:54:37
bloody should be too right cuz he was he was he really cared about his product um
00:54:44
and so I would get it to a point where when he came in for a press pass he could take two or three copies and go
00:54:51
sign it off gone cuz the moment we they sign off the cover you take your specials that uh binded and sent to the
00:54:59
appropriate people so it looks pretty and we can start speeding up the press and get the job done you know um but uh
00:55:08
yeah I think he appreciated the fact that he was in and out and I took real Pride on the fact that he request me so
00:55:16
it be 2 o'clock in the morning is Dave's doing the press pass okay good and then
00:55:20
I'd do the press pass for him yeah nice guy so you've always had the sort of um
00:55:25
sense of pride in your work well yeah I want to be the best at all I can possibly do and I I mean there's a
00:55:31
certain competitiveness to that um but I just think surely to a certain point if if you look
00:55:39
at the the the foundational level and you see yourself as the most magnificent project you'll ever work on surely
00:55:48
seeking excellence in every part of the things that you put your energy to isn't
00:55:52
that being congruent yeah yeah the stuff you're saying is really good but then
00:55:59
um I was going to say how how do you avoid that thing where other people go oh he thinks his [ __ ] don't stink well
00:56:06
here's people going to think that and you have to override that for [ __ ] sake Dom here's the thing I don't give a
00:56:13
[ __ ] what they think you know I mean why should I [ __ ] have someone dictate to me uh
00:56:21
what I should be [ __ ] feeling [ __ ] that and [ __ ] you no I when if you think
00:56:27
about this I gave you the affirmation I am undoubtably proud of myself right if I'm undoubtably proud of myself you can
00:56:35
say whatever you [ __ ] want I don't give a [ __ ] here's the story so Buddha guy goes talks to Buddha and he
00:56:46
goes if if if someone wants to give you a gift and you chose not to accept that gift to whom then does the gift belong
00:56:56
and the guy said well to the person that gave it originally he said correct and does that not also apply to their
00:57:04
abuse that's good I suppose the same sort of thing uh can or would apply to online stuff as well which I know is a
00:57:10
massive problem people yeah um yeah what's what's your take on that uh well
00:57:16
I mean you're um you're a special case like you you've been doing this for 30
00:57:20
years um you have an ability that most people don't have to block out the noise
00:57:25
yeah well I I think hey I'm still a sensitive guy you know if you watch the style Bender
00:57:32
movie is he even battles with it absolutely still distract and again this is where uh you know you you've got to
00:57:40
actually one of the most profound things ever said comes from boxing believe it or not and it's the last thing that the
00:57:47
the referee says to the two guys before they come out banging and that is protect yourself at all times now block
00:57:55
turn on off turn down turn over you don't have to read that [ __ ] do you know what I mean you know the
00:58:07
wonderful thing is we have agency we have free will use it now the other key thing
00:58:18
is uh those that we fear in society or those that we are intimidated by we like to attack now I'm
00:58:31
quite happy to be have a discussion and to be Retreat uh what's the word uh criticized Etc and I I I'll listen to
00:58:41
that but first and foremost the person that's doing that has to have some level
00:58:46
of credibility every man in his dog right and we we we talk about this everyone's
00:58:54
a [ __ ] expert on online where do you live have you had a face t- face conversation with him so you know for me
00:59:03
it's just [ __ ] noise and I just turn it off you know if if you're on the
00:59:06
radio and you're listen to some music that you hate what do you endure it or
00:59:12
do you turn the channel you turn the channel right yeah so you know for me um I I but to be really Frank I'm at a
00:59:20
point I just really don't give a [ __ ] what people think because I know when I
00:59:25
reflect on my life I know that I have made a beautiful positive effect in tens of thousands of
00:59:35
people and I'm proud of that and anyone who thinks otherwise that's their [ __ ] problem I
00:59:43
don't care I love that I love CU it is yeah it's noise it's annoying it's a distraction it's
00:59:52
Anno annoying and you're only the people are only criticizing people that are
00:59:57
doing better than them [ __ ] it is jealous it is punching up I mean I just simply go with a counter so you know
01:00:05
what have you done yeah okay so um so you leave school you're doing the printing thing is is
01:00:12
this when you start going to the gym is this when you start strong man how how do you fit it in the whole purpose of
01:00:18
work was to pay for my gym and my food so I used to go to work and I had a chili bin and it would be like
01:00:26
a chicken about 20 dozen eggs you know I mean i' stink the [ __ ] place out broccoli you know I'm I'm obsessed man
01:00:37
you know [ __ ] I ate like a [ __ ] right so in fact I had scales at work it's a shame that I I I would love to
01:00:45
have taken a photo because it's got the year I think when I arrived there I was
01:00:49
about uh so I would have been 16 I think I was about 80 kgs right and then over the years
01:00:59
before I left uh I think I I I was tipping the scales about uh about 150 kgs wow yeah yeah wow he almost doubled
01:01:11
in size but all muscle though hell you man I train like a [ __ ] and and this is the beautiful thing um I became
01:01:20
obsessed I I I'm OB I'm like I said I'm very focused I'm obsessive and tenacious
01:01:27
that's something else you got to develop is a tenacious resolve um and so I was disciplined and
01:01:33
I but I was the one of the things that I think was uh the best thing for me was I
01:01:41
was intelligent enough to know that the moment I was the strongest guy in the gym that I had to
01:01:50
leave because the last thing I wanted if I truly wanted to achieve I needed to be
01:01:56
exposed I needed to be challenged oh so you didn't want to be like a a big fish
01:02:00
in a small I don't want to be the biggest guy in the gym I So eventually through through training in YMC at
01:02:09
pepakura where I first started through to some of the gyms and papakura to tanin to
01:02:15
manua uh right through to Simon street where the [ __ ] freaks were um moment that I got to a point that I was sort of
01:02:25
pushing everyone's going oh [ __ ] he's a you know I got the hell out uh and I
01:02:30
think again that that's in of itself really important factor because we like to be
01:02:40
comfortable yeah it's the yeah it's sort of like it's a something in our brain
01:02:45
wiring a well we have we have a an innate part of us which is you know to move away from Pain you know when we
01:02:52
talk about motivational filtering systems right the most powerful is away from right so people will do anything to
01:02:59
move away from pain right uh the next then is uh towards something now most of us
01:03:08
AR we're not we're not picking up our family and escaping a war right uh for
01:03:16
us in this country we're fairly comfortable we've got it pretty good here I mean this is one of the greatest
01:03:22
countries in the world most of us are moving towards something well no I would say some of us are
01:03:30
moving towards something we set those goals the vision we're most people set
01:03:34
is in the middle they're comfortable like I said you only got a certain amount of
01:03:42
time on this planet man [ __ ] investigate where those fears are overcome them I'm
01:03:47
going to I'm going to die a very satisfied fulfilled man and and I don't fear
01:03:58
death de I want it to be you know another another 50 odd years if you wouldn't mind you know yeah yeah but you
01:04:06
know it's like I mean if I was to go to today I can reflect on my life and go
01:04:13
you know what [ __ ] I overcome and I achieve something that's a life lived you know I you some of your viewers may
01:04:22
have uh read you know vict uh oh Victor Franco me meing hell of a book man yeah what a book hey and there's a there's a
01:04:32
part of these books out there to read you know Jim ran talked about this he said three steps to Greatness number one
01:04:38
set goals number two educate yourself and three have a financial plan and you know uh here I am now uh the first part
01:04:49
you know setting those goals and learn and and achieving that uh educating myself and that's pretty ambigous it
01:04:56
could be educating in something like uh art or you know for you educating yourself on how to get the most out of
01:05:04
your performance with your ultr running Etc and then the last is having a financial plan uh and even that is
01:05:13
interesting you know we have so much debt today everyone's into credit you know maybe we need to go back to some
01:05:20
oldfashioned values and and understand the importance of living on less than what you you're living living within
01:05:28
your means and I suppose one thing you got from your lifting is um it's hard to
01:05:32
think of a a more AP example of delayed gratification you got to work hard for a
01:05:38
long time yes it's the same thing with um the financial thing as well like delayed gratification instead of like
01:05:43
getting your phone today on afterpay wait six months Jo I'll tell you something um you know one of the
01:05:50
things that Joe and I my wife we we've kept it quite uh interesting I'm going
01:05:57
to use the word humble you know we didn't go out and party up and whatnot but here we are now where uh we are in a
01:06:05
very good financial situation and I like I don't have to work hard but we were you know it's see old
01:06:15
what would you rather have a million dollars in cash or a dollar that doubles every day for 30 days well if I if I if
01:06:21
I wasn't familiar with this riddle I'd go for the million dollars yeah yeah
01:06:24
most people do give me the cash B I don't even care what the outcome is I'm
01:06:29
gone you know yeah but you know when you think about save the $5 million man and
01:06:36
I think that's it I think part of today's society is we want it all now and we want to keep up with the [ __ ] the
01:06:44
Joneses your journey is your journey you know and you've when you have a lot of
01:06:49
your own goals and and a confidence within yourself then you know you're not
01:06:53
going to start comparing yourself to others when you don't have to do that that's [ __ ] Freedom man you know you
01:07:01
stay on your own path it's [ __ ] nice Fu there's so many good takeaways in
01:07:06
this so so um so we got takeaway yeah are you are you yeah what what are your flaws or bad habits or
01:07:13
work on are you are you a takeway guy like oh come on man I I do like a nice indian uh actually and a burger and and
01:07:23
I look uh I love food I yeah I I love eating and and currently right now I've
01:07:30
got a I'm proud to say DM I've lost nine kgs um I'm I'm doing a a keto thing at
01:07:37
the moment which is I'm quite quite impressed with it's working really well
01:07:44
um I don't have any really things that I I have a lot of that I'm looking forward
01:07:50
to I'm looking forward to finishing my degrees uh I am certainly looking forward to uh I'm going to be taking
01:07:58
three or four months off to go and travel in Europe with my wife um and I think uh that's something I'm
01:08:09
really looking forward because I've learned so much through the philosophy so I want to go to Greece I want to go
01:08:14
to Germany I want to go to Europe and really understand and experience it um I haven't done a lot of travel you know
01:08:22
I've been in America I've been around the Pacific and Australia but you know
01:08:26
so that's something I'm really looking forward to yeah and um I see you you sort of fell
01:08:33
into this career right so you so you're doing the printing and then um and that's when this that sort of overlaps
01:08:38
with the strongman stuff yeah and then it was the strong man that got me into this yes so how because you've been
01:08:43
doing it 30 years now and it's um well what it was is that it came to a point
01:08:47
where I had to make I had to make some decisions right so obviously with the STW man you know a lot of the guys are
01:08:55
juicing it up and it just didn't sit right with me so I went and investigated
01:09:02
uh you know the strongest you know the bulgarians the Russians what were they doing and one of the things that I sort
01:09:09
of realized is they were doing a lot of work on hypnosis and so I thought well that's
01:09:16
interesting so I I went and worked and studied hypnosis and then from there backed into
01:09:24
neurolinguistics and and at that and in NLP you got to appreciate in in in the sort of late 80s and '90s was still very
01:09:34
new as a technology um so I I kind of I was one of the first to be certified in this
01:09:41
country um and it it expanded from there and ironically we got more and more uh courses and information on mental
01:09:53
performance etc etc so mate books you name it I I just again I became obsessed I I can I can I've said to when
01:10:05
I was printing I managed to get a job uh off the press because I'm starting to build my business now and so
01:10:14
I got a job in the day selling print right at at uh a assist a company to comprint where I
01:10:23
was and I remember one of the the things was that I had to get a certain budget now three months in I've come from still
01:10:33
kep boots and overalls having an interview with the with a boss saying I want a job as a sales rep and he's like
01:10:40
I kind of know you're doing this mental stuff so I'll give you a chance I've got
01:10:44
no sales training and it's in sheet which is not my thing for printing right
01:10:49
so 3 months in I'm miserable I'm I'm selling like $500 worth of business
01:10:55
business cards but [ __ ] miles short of the mark uh and the boss gets me and he
01:10:59
goes Hey listen mate you better sort your [ __ ] out or mate you're out of a
01:11:03
job and I'm like I I still I'm I'm doing a little bit of coaching at night and on
01:11:08
the weekends not enough to sustain a bloody mortgage and a family you know and and so I thought okay I've got to
01:11:14
ask myself a better question well I my budget was $700,000 worth of sales by June I had hit 1.2
01:11:25
Mill million wow yeah double the budget now here's the beautiful thing so right I double my budget number one
01:11:35
sales rep number one right and this guy is just there's people that have been
01:11:39
there for 15 [ __ ] years right so I'm number one and no one said a [ __ ] thing and I remember the boss there at
01:11:47
the time walking up the corridor now I'm doing I'm [ __ ] pissed off right and
01:11:51
I'm angry and I said hey any chance going to have a chat and he go goes yeah
01:11:55
yeah yeah whatever very dismissive and he said and I said to him hey you know his name was Graham and I said look it's
01:12:02
been three months and I've doubled my budget and I haven't had a word from
01:12:08
management going hey congratulations hey look here's a couple of hundred bucks
01:12:13
take your wife out for din on us congratulations and he he sat in his chair in the office with a cigarette in
01:12:20
his [ __ ] mouth leaned back and he said Dave just be glad you got your [ __ ] job now in that moment mate I
01:12:28
slammed the door so [ __ ] hard it came off its Ines I from thereafter every day I go to
01:12:36
work I put my cursor into out all day I would go to Mount Wellington Library I would go into the psychology selfhelp I
01:12:46
grab a pile of books I go up to the top of Mount Wellington with all my [ __ ] food my chicken my eggs my broccoli and
01:12:53
[ __ ] readed and I for six months that's all I [ __ ] did I I done my budget and I
01:13:00
double it [ __ ] him [ __ ] him [ __ ] you've always had this sort of drive out yeah
01:13:06
yeah what would you um if you could go back and and talk to yourself you know as that scared little 30-y old boy at
01:13:13
whizley what would you what would you say to him I wouldn't change a [ __ ] thing yeah because it's molded me into
01:13:19
the man I am today and I'm I'm [ __ ] proud of that so me I could have easily
01:13:26
have let that episode of bullying defy me into being uh you know that that wimpy kid who was [ __ ] a
01:13:35
victim who had had a limited model of the world there's a lot there's a lot of
01:13:40
power for a lot of people in that victim mentality eh 95% of the population [ __ ] I feel
01:13:47
like a lot of people get almost like um like a like an adrenal kick out of you know what you know what you're you're
01:13:52
right and I'll tell you what I've always said and this is the sad thing people put
01:13:58
more time and effort into creating their victim story than they do about getting
01:14:03
off their ass and creating a better life because there's power there's power in
01:14:07
there's a a certain amount of power in being a victim and on online today I'll
01:14:12
Trump your [ __ ] victim story with mine [ __ ] it's just it it's it it's a
01:14:19
it's a false economy man yeah it's [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah and you do there is that
01:14:26
sort of gratification you get of people saying oh poor you but you're not advancing yourself are you by being in
01:14:32
that victim zone no you define yourself in the victim Zone you're now obliged to
01:14:38
stay and you'll never really truly realize the best version of yourself and that should be everyone's project
01:14:48
yeah yeah I I yeah I've been asking myself this a lot in the past week knowing that this um podcast was coming
01:14:54
up and to read your book The Winning mindset um the winning mindset the winning mindset
01:14:59
it's a great say that again it's a bloody it's a great book I'm sort of
01:15:03
book it's I'll tell you what that's a fine looking cover though isn't it well
01:15:07
you see the cover and it's like I've never met you before and I haden't seen
01:15:11
a photo of you and um I was like oh this guy's a strong man then I looked up
01:15:14
photos of you yeah I imagine that to be a thin dude yeah like a lean dude that that guy there was lean at that point of
01:15:22
the photo being done oh no what I was saying the book's got me thinking and it's like you know how people say um I I
01:15:29
tried my hardest or I gave it 100% I reckon I'm probably like giving life 60
01:15:34
or 70% at least yeah like reality [ __ ] I'm not proud of saying that I'm just
01:15:40
not well I I think it's sort of like hang on you've you've you You' got to get to
01:15:48
a certain level of actualization you know what I'm going to do after this I'm going to go home home
01:15:55
I'm going to have a cppa and I'm going to sit on my lazy boy and I'm going to
01:16:01
have a snooze and I'm quite happy with doing that I like a little afternoon snooze um could I be studying could I be
01:16:12
going to the yes but there's got to be balance man yeah yeah as long as you've got the
01:16:18
balance right do you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah it's okay yeah okay so you have to give yourself a little bit
01:16:24
of a a pass sometimes well you can't uh unless you're a you know a freaking
01:16:32
Immortal yeah we're humans right we got to be humanistic there are times when
01:16:37
the best thing to do is to do nothing at all but it's knowing that that is Justified and legit in the sense that
01:16:46
making that decision I've done it guilt free and so I can completely rest in
01:16:52
peace oh I love that you do look like an I can imagine you oh I love it yeah snoring as well you SN oh M you
01:17:02
know the dribble hey um I I said on Instagram you were coming over I've got a bunch of
01:17:08
questions here you want yeah let's go for it okay how how do you keep clients
01:17:12
from becoming overconfident or is that even a bad is that a bad thing what the [ __ ] what what
01:17:20
what how does one Define over I mean one of the most ridic what does that mean I'm sorry your son's gone a little too
01:17:30
far with me uh he's overconfident so we're going to have to beat him up take
01:17:35
him back a couple of notches so here that's just I would say that's from
01:17:40
someone who really struggles to understand what it is to be undoubtedly [ __ ] proud of yourself what
01:17:50
overconfident it's a it's a [ __ ] oxymoron isn't it how do you measure progress in mental
01:17:58
performance Are there specific metrics or indicators you use yeah there certain kpis for instance is Dependable on on on
01:18:06
the requirement of the of of the the sport right so for a swimmer here's a here's an example I have a young man
01:18:13
that I work with uh and the measurables for us was time time's probably the most
01:18:21
most used metric in sport uh and and so I started his name is James slesser he won't mind me saying that
01:18:30
he's at youthtown University in America and James when I first started working
01:18:35
with him he was this this [ __ ] cute little [ __ ] kid who loved and wanted to be a really good swimmer right and I
01:18:44
remember working with him uh and here's the thing that really gives me a buzz
01:18:50
right because it's not just about being getting gold medals and World Champs
01:18:53
right so he's in I think it was napia this is going back probably six years national champs and his mom and dad are
01:19:01
in the car driving him home and Dad phones me and Dave I just want to let you know uh James had a 3 second PB
01:19:09
today in the pool which is significant unreal unreal now here's the thing that
01:19:13
wasn't his preferred event in his preferred event and Dad's going heang I'm going to let James I'm going to let
01:19:21
James tell you he had a 13 second PB 13 seconds what the and for him he was constantly intimidated by
01:19:36
others he put them on a pedestal we talked about when you put people on a pedestal you give your power away we
01:19:44
started working on changing that 13 seconds what do you think it did for that young man's belief right now he's
01:19:53
committed to the world Champs and he this is a guy I think the the goal now is to crack the the one minute uh uh to
01:20:03
hit 59 seconds uh for the 100 meter backstroke I think you know he's still still coming up through the ranks I
01:20:11
think the the best best time is 57 or something right so so to shave say 13 seconds off off your PB how much of that
01:20:18
is um physical and how much of that is um mental that was purely mental in that contents because you know what you got
01:20:25
to appreciate is uh the 303 seconds so that is a PB based on uh a time that was done uh approximately a month three
01:20:39
months before that so I had about two or three sessions with them so it was over
01:20:44
a you know 90 90day period so we had a frame of reference so you know we had an action reflection process with the
01:20:53
coaching but when you reflect back over that 3 months it's 13 seconds is significant oh it's insane it it really
01:21:00
is it really is um how can I stay motivated especially when results aren't immediate
01:21:10
tenacious resolve you go until you achieve because here's the thing think of what you're
01:21:18
predispose presupposition under under that is that it's hard for me to to stay
01:21:25
motivated well then how [ __ ] clear are you on the vision how [ __ ] bad do you want it I mean seriously you know
01:21:31
this is the [ __ ] that I call people out on that's a cop out it's hard to stay
01:21:37
motivated it's because you haven't got a clear enough [ __ ] Vision yeah it's
01:21:42
not [ __ ] exciting enough well you don't want it bad enough and it's not
01:21:45
[ __ ] vivid enough you've got to work with the end and mind um now there's some things that we
01:21:54
can certainly do to help uh minimize that but you know again it's it's you're
01:22:01
you're saying that it's a task to be motivated I I would say to you here's
01:22:05
something that I think you want to create when we talk about a vision okay now I would suggest to you that as a
01:22:13
kid most of the mornings when you had to get up for school mom was going for [ __ ] sake Dom hurry up you've got
01:22:20
school right now now hurry up right yeah yeah yeah what were you like Christmas [ __ ] morning bouncing around the
01:22:30
[ __ ] mom and dad's bed at 5:30 in the morning go [ __ ] Santa's here every day Santa comes when you got
01:22:37
a Clear Vision you create that energy [ __ ] it's so sad when people that [ __ ] your soft you know what I mean you
01:22:47
you get what you [ __ ] deserve if that's the question you're going to [ __ ] ask you [ __ ] get what you
01:22:53
deserve it's [ __ ] you have have you um I was going to ask have you but I'm
01:23:00
sure this would have happened I suppose the question is how often there must have been clients that you've either um
01:23:06
s fired or vice versa theyve ran off crying oh absolutely they and like I said when a client comes to me there's a
01:23:14
couple of key things number one I will ask do you give me permission to be blunt and honest now in that point if
01:23:21
they say no fine there's the door I wish you all the best if they say yes I'm not
01:23:29
saying that I'm going to jump on you [ __ ] but you don't know it could be
01:23:33
three sessions in that you say something and I'll call you out on it yeah because
01:23:39
my job is not to be your best friend my job is to help you with performance are there any good examples
01:23:49
of uh I I yes but I think sometime sometimes just not I I I actually shared one I had an individual I'm going to
01:23:58
make this really clear it was an individual who came to see me who is associated with high
01:24:03
performance uh and the they were going into a camp for a international competition right now you got to
01:24:14
appreciate we our taxpayer money goes into high performance to hire and put those facilities there with good coaches
01:24:23
well I think we've got really good coaches in this country okay that person had one requirement and that is to come
01:24:32
into the camp at the appropriate weight to start the periodization program to Peak for the
01:24:38
competition that was it the individual showed up 3 and a half kgs overweight okay that may not be much for
01:24:49
a lot of average listeners out there but when you're in high performance that's
01:24:53
that's half a Stone that's significant it's over half a stone so this person's telling me the
01:25:02
story and the person said then my coaches fat shamed me right now [ __ ] man again we go back to the victim [ __ ]
01:25:16
right now I said to I'm going to stop you right there we went through what we
01:25:20
discussed and I said did you have an obligation and why do you think they asked you to stay at that to be on
01:25:28
weight well because of the periodization program yes and what was the purpose of
01:25:33
the periodization program is to Peak for that competition all those [ __ ] people that work their butt off had
01:25:40
adhered to what they were required to do you had one job now here's what I'm
01:25:45
going to tell you to do right now you either get on the phone right now whilst we're in the session and you're going to
01:25:52
apologize to your coach and if you don't you can leave because I got no respect
01:25:58
for you she got on they got on the phone and apologized to the coach and I said I'm going to tell you
01:26:07
now you ever do that again you're fired uh again we get on the victim's triangle
01:26:18
where we play the victim and we feel that we've been persecuted and all we want want us to be rescued we've got to
01:26:26
get off that [ __ ] she wanted to be rescued by me in that session the loving option is to be blunt
01:26:34
and honest you you have to be independent and um in private because you're um you
01:26:41
this is not the time for a man like you in terms of like being employed by let's
01:26:46
say high perform sport New Zealand or like a governing party like you just be no man unpopular opinions M I am not
01:26:55
everyone's cup of tea I'll tell you that now but you know here's the bottom line
01:27:00
and I'll tell you something that I'm really proud of I I refuse to work for
01:27:05
anyone I will work with you but never for you and and and I've had some challenges with high performance I can
01:27:11
tell you that now um but here's the thing you know here I am operating from an office which was a garage in a little
01:27:21
place in Waterview out of that garage I have produced two halberg Award winners I
01:27:31
have produced some of the greatest athletes ever come out of this country and internationally I've got winners in from
01:27:40
Belgium to London to America to Sri Lanka that's pretty impressive mate no it is you know yeah
01:27:51
uh I'm I would like to say that I'm probably the most successful performance
01:27:56
coach one of the most successful performance coaches in the world that you've never heard of and that's exactly
01:28:03
how it should be because it's not about me it's about my clients I take pride in
01:28:08
winning you know what I mean and winning by definition isn't necessar about being
01:28:13
first winning sometimes for a lot of my clients is overcoming something that was
01:28:19
sabotaging their potential so you know I feel like I feel like that interview with Arnold you
01:28:27
remember them pumping on oh pumping on I love that movies so much coming day and
01:28:31
night you know I love this [ __ ] man how good is that movie oh brilliant are you
01:28:37
serious like I was brought up with that yeah it was incredible um do you feel like the pendulin sort of swinging in in
01:28:43
this this whole you know we want to create a safe environment wokeness or whatever you
01:28:48
want well I said to you I don't want to go there because I am a [ __ ] anti-woke [ __ ] right and and there's
01:28:55
so many areas I I think you know this the scary thing is the ability for people to critically think is [ __ ]
01:29:06
alarming there is and the other thing is the one of the things I love about philosophy is the art of
01:29:20
discourse we can have an argument and still part respecting each other today it's a screaming match it's who's
01:29:32
the loudest uh or if someone says one thing that they just if you say one thing I
01:29:38
disagree with I'm like well I have to dispose of everything you've ever said
01:29:42
absolutely yeah I'll give you a prime example as I said I'm an existentialist
01:29:48
I'm not a religious person at all right but I have enough integrity and respect
01:29:54
to be able to work with clients now here's a prime example uh I I work with a lovely lady
01:30:01
Maria tutar who Maria fell yeah correct very religious and when we started working
01:30:10
together we had an open conversation and I said look you know moving forward I want to respect your faith and I need
01:30:19
you to respect my but we had the most incred rible conversations such a lovely lady you
01:30:28
know what I mean um so we can agree to disagree but still respect each other and I think that's what's needed in this
01:30:35
world you know we got to learn to listen uh to respect uh and in some cases ideally
01:30:44
to respect the fact that we won't ever agree but we can still agree to be respectful of each other you know yeah
01:30:54
yeah I agree with that 100% um last one's this the best one right there there's so many of these um but yeah
01:31:03
we'll be here all day and you need to have your nap yeah uh which plays more of a
01:31:08
crucial role in achieving success motivation or discipline uh obviously it's discipline you know motivation is
01:31:16
important because what it can do is it can start the Catalyst to then eventually become disciplined um bottom
01:31:23
line is is that we behave our way to success so the habit that has continued over a long period of time the uh that's
01:31:34
what gets you there yeah but sometimes you need a little bit of motivation just to get the momentum going yeah you know
01:31:41
like I said I'm I've got that on my my my Range Rover motivator plate you know I love it
01:31:49
you know uh I'm the motivator but the whole purpose of motivation is to start
01:31:55
building the momentum that eventually becomes habitual Big Dave this has been fun yeah I've enjoyed it man thanks I
01:32:04
love your War oh thank you it's uh fake work it's not real freaking cool fake it
01:32:08
till you make it you've got it mate um the winning mindset hell of a book who
01:32:14
would have thought eh who would have thought kid from school yep yep and it it just goes to show if if I can do it
01:32:22
you know people say to me to be a success what do you need you know what you need 100 trillion sales what are we
01:32:29
all made up of we've all we' same every single person has got exactly what they
01:32:34
need right now to become whatever they want oh you're awesome you're very
01:32:39
inspiring thank you and um yeah good luck for the future well have you back yeah i' I'd love to be back mate okay
01:32:45
yeah let's get some of those questions answered let's go oh mate there's an
01:32:49
unlimited supply of them there's so many questions just as long as they're not
01:32:52
Dum ones what was we need to V some who who was the person you shot down what was that
01:32:58
anyway I don't know I'm going to find out who they are brilliant love it mate
01:33:02
all right thanks for having me