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hi team and welcome to episode 24 of Runners only with dom Harvey on today's
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episode Mike King part two if you're in trouble reach out and ask for help that's an oxymoron that's stupid why do
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we continue to put pressure on our most vulnerable to make the first move this episode probably needs to come with a
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bit of a trigger warning Mike and I go very deep on the mental health stuff including a real open and Frank
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discussion about his own suicide attempt if you find any of this stuff at all triggering text
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1737 and you can talk to someone anonymously Mike's a guy who's done the
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work when it comes to mental health not from textbooks but at a Grassroots level
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talking to other kiwis and I really hope you guys get some useful tips and tools
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from this that you can use to make your own life or the lives of your family and
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friends better just before we get into it thanks to the sponsors of this episode M's power cookies since I've
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discovered these they have become my go-to fuel for running I've got a Choco
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calendar of events coming up including this 60 kilometer Kepler challenge in December which I'm fizzing about and
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also the 2023 old ghost ultra marathon which is like 85ks and Ms power cookies are the fuel that's going to be getting
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me through they taste good unlike gels and they really pack a punch when it comes to calories so check them out you
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can buy them online at munchtime.co.nz or just look for them at your supermarket and if you can't find them
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just asked slow and steady anywhere you coming up just wanna connect for everyone who
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loves running this is [Music] Runners only with dom Harvey and Mike King Advocate Advocate how does that how
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does that non-runner [ __ ] you've done the workout you've done with them with
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your comedy you did the work and you got very good and and now I can tell you've
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like put the same energy and enthusiasm but I did what everyone else I didn't
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learn in books in the in the last 10 years I've spoken in nearly 300 000 kids
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personally when they contact you it's a genuine contact I give my number out to
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corporates and I get wankers trying to sell me [ __ ] you know these kids are genuinely there and nine out of 10 times
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it's concerned for someone else yeah you know I've got a friend who's this and
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I've got a friend who's that uh or it's about themselves and they just need
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reassurance that you know one there is someone there and two that their thoughts are normal so I've been out
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I've done the Arts and everything I say is not my opinion this is what kids are
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telling me and so when I get people well that's your opinion no actually it's not
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my opinion this is passing on feedback this is what your kids are telling well I disagree well that's like same dude
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I've just told you I like Kentucky Fried Chicken oh it does say game you know Everyone likes Cape right you
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know what I mean yeah yeah yeah of course you can't disagree with this yeah you can't disagree with the fact
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because you manned them yeah so you came out and um said you suffered from depression in 2006. do you think um it
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had been there your whole life you're an angry dude for a while was it was was
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that just your way of like projecting the depression yeah yeah of course so when I got famous
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you know that was supposed to change my life I always thought Fame and Fortune was the ultimate goal being well best at
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whatever it is right and in my mind I you know I expected that moment was going to be big it was like these these
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two gates would open Golden Gates would open there'd be a ticket tape parade the
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king had a ride yeah and you know people will be throwing confetti and singing your name kills to be strong and these
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it was gonna be it was the ultimate right yeah it's like winning the lotto a
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billion to one shot and I [ __ ] got it I was the first and then these gates open and there was my big head gang
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you're still a [ __ ] loser you should be flipping burgers and for me when you're when your whole life had been set
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for this moment and it didn't pan out for me that's when my inner critic got
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really loud and it was constantly taunting me and that's when the drug and alcohol use
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took over yeah so you you loved your cocaine I love myself so I started a travel agency Dom when Coke was in short
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supply in New Zealand just so I could fly around the world when it ran out how crazy is that [ __ ] so I'm guessing like
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it started as um like like a fun thing so you do a show whatever have a have a bag of gear and then uh so the first
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time I tried Coke was in 96 right 1996. um I was at a giga Monaco um I was with another American comedian
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called Todd Hanford and we just finished this gig and a guy came over and he shook my hand and said that was amazing
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and he palmed me some gear right now lots of people have been pounding me yeah it was all usually always weed and
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so I got this thing and I went into the toilet and it was a block of Coke and I didn't know really what Coke was
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so I said to my American Community hey man what's this hey hey hey hey hey hey
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so he dropped down the toilet seat and he lined us up two lines and I smashed my line and then I immediately vomited
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like you know I just [ __ ] whoa what the [ __ ] is happening and I threw up and
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everything that I've become addicted to in my life alcohol I threw up cigarettes
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I threw up Coke I threw up right so I thought I'll never get addicted to this
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[ __ ] what a [ __ ] this is what this [ __ ] is I'm out soon as I walked out
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into the into back into the the bar every single conversation in this place was crystal clear to me I could hear
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different groups talking there was a group of University students who just lost a friend of theirs there was
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another group of people that were getting a marriage but I could hear every conversation these University
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students were were talking about some scientific thing and out of my ring binder of memories
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something popped up that was Associated so I was able to enjoy the conversation and these people were like holy [ __ ]
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you're a whole lot more intelligent but when I talk to the people it just lost
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some my empathy level was right there I could reach the level of every single one and it was like magic for a comedian
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to be that connected with people in the room that was like the ultimate some of you felt like it made you a better
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person immediately like huge of course it turns a lot of people into a deck like they're they're just like it does
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comment conversation Hogs and it does eventually and that's exactly what happened you know after years of use of
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course that's what happened so and then in 1997 maybe eight months later um I end up going to London and spending
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six months on the SARS six or eight weeks on the scene up there and same thing I did a gig and a skeezy come up
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to me after his ear uh if you have any like you know the Rings The Whole Nine yeah
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he was a local drug dealer whatever you need whenever you need it you give me a call that was the funniest thing I've
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seen so for the next six weeks I was in Coke Heaven I didn't have to pay with it
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50 Quid yeah 50 Quid a gram you know so and it was a real deal not like the [ __ ]
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that they were selling back here and um so for me that was you know and then I ended up in Vegas and yeah yeah so we
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when did when did it stop being stopping fun and like start being a chore or it never stop being fun
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it never ever stop being fun yeah but um but okay I knew it was destroying me yeah I knew
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it was destroying me I knew you know the state of my career you know a bit like 660 you know I'd done all the
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town hall tours you can only do Town Halls you can only play at Eden Park a certain amount of times and then the
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rooms get smaller you know I the first Town Hall tour I ever did was in 2000 with radar you know we sold out you know
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the St James Theater [ __ ] twice yeah not once twice you know we were playing every major
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town hall in the country man you know like I had that much money you know like on this tour I see my manager to come
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and pick up a [ __ ] briefcase of cash and take it out you know wow it was ridiculous it was a ridiculous time you
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know I'm 10 foot tall and bulletproof I start out with you know an hour of material I
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get home with three hours of material because so many things were happening and the coke was flowing so ideas were
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flowing and I was just living and breathing comedy 24 7. but the room started getting smaller and you know and
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the the the the cost of the coke was getting higher and higher and higher and I you know and I was you know when
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you're worrying about finances you end up being an [ __ ] you know and you're
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blaming everybody else and you know young ones are coming up and in the in the um
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the [ __ ] Newsboy thing started you know oh yeah yeah now that you bring it like most people wouldn't wouldn't
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remember that but um so there's a sketch on like eating media lunch or one of the
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one of the and this show wasn't [ __ ] rating at all right it was a nice sort
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of show not a mainstream show it was on a 10 30 at night and there was a uh a dog that was Mike King and who was
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snorting [ __ ] or smoking pee or something and of course I was but of course I went into denial son how
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[ __ ] dare you like you've crossed the line you see you left a voicemail message saying you know I left it on a
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mate's phone right I left you tell your [ __ ] up friend that he's [ __ ] with
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the wrong guy who the but for me right I'm old school I'm old school you don't
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knock on people you know you just [ __ ] know you do the lag you know so I but you know these new kids they don't
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give a [ __ ] so he passed it on to uh Jeremy Wells and Jeremy posted it up and at the like you know I was thinking it
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was a big deal at the time here's my [ __ ] phone number call me yeah you know and I'd put my phone number on
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there and he [ __ ] he didn't take the phone number off and he broadcasted it
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and that basically launched his career you know and you know if I'm being honest I'm still a little resentful of
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that really yeah yeah have you seen have you seen Jeremy I have I've learned from
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the experience and I've told you know it's probably the best thing that could
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have happened yeah yeah but I'm still old school you know what it's like
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you've been in radio yeah you know you've had people come up to you go ah
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don't [ __ ] don't like you you know you never [ __ ] like that's a lot I
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don't listen to your [ __ ] you know my response to that thank you yeah what
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I've just [ __ ] told you you're an [ __ ] thank you what do you mean I said I'm just
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thankful I gave you the opportunity to get that off your chest now you don't
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have to carry it around anymore I'm an [ __ ] guess what I think I'm an [ __ ] sometimes too yeah we talk about
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the the inner critic before it's like you think I'm an [ __ ] you could never
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forget myself that's right um the Jeremy Wells thing like that that angry message was
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was part of that you like your depression do you think no because I wasn't had nothing to do with it okay he
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told the world the truth I was a [ __ ] drug addict I thought I had it well hidden but I was a [ __ ]
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drug addict and he outed me to the world he broke the code he knocked on me to the world he and and that's what like
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I'm still in the mongrel mob mentality you know you knock you [ __ ] die yeah
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that was my you know that was my so he told the truth and I was in denial you know and at the you know so at the time
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that's what hurt is he told the truth and I wasn't ready to face the truth and
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that's what made me angry and so I went straight into denial mode and I swing
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straight into Attack Mode which has always been you know how how I've operated you sort of fight your way out
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of things oh of course retaliate yeah let's find this Alleyway dude that was that's my mentality yeah and
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and the iron is you know he'd probably give me a [ __ ] good hiding I don't know had made some rules like
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just no face punches okay so um you see before like um you bought a travel agency yeah
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yeah Travel King oh really you're traveling in the right company well yeah our logo was a Playboy bunny smoking a
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cigar right you know you know something just I'm I'm pinching my nose as we talk
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about bringing back memories I'm just like hey yeah but that was just a time there was a
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time am I proud of that time in my life um no not really would I change it no it
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gave me legitimate experiences you know you can't you know other people would
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read about the [ __ ] in the book and then speak like experts you've got to live it
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man yeah and I suppose all these all these experiences brought you to where you are in the manuscript
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um so so through this travel agency you ended up um we were you're in a hotel somewhere Hong
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Kong or something yeah Hong Kong hotel so what happened was I had it in 2007 yeah uh
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um I had a massive stroke I was over Melbourne you're another Melbourne I was
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playing in the Aussie Millions poker tournament ten thousand five hundred dollar entry fee I was taking a [ __ ] uh
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I had a massive stroke and my mate Saved My Life um I had locked in syndrome so I was a
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complete [ __ ] dribbler um on the street how long not that long maybe eight hours but it was a lifetime
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terrifying yeah so um I have locked in syndrome I can hear everything I can understand whatever I'm
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saying I can converse in my head but the only thing coming out of my mouth was dribble Mars my face had
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dropped the whole the whole nine yards and so um I have the stroke I go to the hospital I hear the doctor saying you
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know like Hey where's his wife my mate said she's on her way good uh she said
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he said she'll be here this afternoon he goes too late you've got four hours to
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get this thrombolising drug in him and um and my mate said I'll give you a permission he goes no because if we give
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him he could die so either he gives us permission or his wife gives us permission so you could you couldn't
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even give the thumbs up or anything oh my head I'm going give me the [ __ ] yeah give me the drug give me the drug
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so um my mate grabbed my head and started yelling with the Mad Butcher you know like come on mate come on mate and
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it reaches this and his breath stunk I'll never forget that like you know he
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hadn't brushed the seat he hadn't done anything you know like and his brain
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[ __ ] Richie your breath stinks and he got me out it took me half an hour to actually formulate words and the
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first sentence out of my hair out of my mouth was give me the drug and the guy went give me the [ __ ] drug you know I
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tried to get off off the table to show him that I was no no say there you've
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got the drug you've got the drug but we need to do a CAT scan first they put me
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in the machine and I had another stroke in the machine now that was terrifying it's like you're nearly drowning you're
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about to be pulled into the boat and someone goes nah and pushes you back under the water what does the stroke
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feel like uh it feels like for me it's different for people some people have
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pain but for me it was like you know when you stand up too quick and then you get that whoa
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and you're in a permanent state of whoa and you're waiting for it to clear and
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it just doesn't yeah and you're just sit in there and say you're living in this
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kind of echoey world I can hear everyone again and the nurse has been talking to
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me and I'd been talking back to her and then she pulled me out and said oh I
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wondered where you've gone you'd had another so you've had another stroke and
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they took me into the other room and the dog said well we can't give him the drug
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and my mate looked at the doctor and went he gave you [ __ ] permission I was here he could go all right I'll
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[ __ ] give him the drugs so he gave me the drug and and I came out of it so it gets as close to death as anyone would
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want to get uh uh what was terrifying wasn't the thought of death what was terrifying when I was lying
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there in the second stroke it was like someone's gonna have to wipe my ass for
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the rest of my life someone is going to have to [ __ ] spoon feed me baby food for the rest of my life so when I came
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out of the stroke for the second time I grabbed my mate's shirt I've pulled
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him down and I said if I go back pillow me and it was all a faith he would have done I've done that before here's the
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thing I got home six weeks you know six weeks later I invite Richie and his wife
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up and my mind's still a blur you know and I pull them out to the garage and I
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didn't know if I'd said it or not and I said to Rich in the garage having to be and I said
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did I say anything to you when I was in Melbourne again no no oh why because I just
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yes [Music] whoa hello me I did say it is yeah yeah and I go would you yes well we'll never know will we I
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was like you know I was like oh [ __ ] but and then I spent the next two years in a
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fog but I vowed to give up I vowed to give up drugs you know and I was committed two days out of hospital with
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my with my poker mates you know coming to the toilets before we've got a line
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for you I've just had a [ __ ] stroke me you know I'm not gonna have that and
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I was determine uh then I got home and I had a block of Coke in the house I called Titanic it was [ __ ] nice beer
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it was [ __ ] and it was pure and um I could hear it calling me as I'm you know driving home I'm not supposed to
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drive home yeah uh drive down the driveway and I started chopping up and um it's remarkable you think like like a
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near-death experience like that that'd be enough to ski you straight no that's
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what that's to hold it had on me so I get uh so so then I was at one Titanic
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ran out I was able to give up I was able to give up how many grams was Titanic would have been uh close to an ounce
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right how many grams are in an ounce uh excuse me too [ __ ] so this is so like 10 grand
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worth yeah easy I can you know and not chopped either so it was like you know they started chopping it all up when we
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got baked Titanic look yeah so um so anyway um I gave up for three weeks and then I had
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a tour to the Hong Kong seven so I'd given up drinking cigarettes and um and
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thing and I was on the straight and narrow and my voice of reason oh yeah Mikey we've got this we've got this and
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the inner critic was yelling but nah the voice of reason and so I get over to what's the name there's lots of alcohol
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you know I I'm on a travel King tour so we've got a whole lot of expectant
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people I get everyone sorted out a system and I refuse to go to the game I can't go to the game because I'll start
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so I'm in wanchai which is the you know the the big party place um and I'm in one chai and I'm just
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aimlessly wandering around and a Maori Boy comes walking down the street father hey Mikey what are you doing and
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I'm like oh man I'm just wandering around got a team here you don't get on
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the shipment now I'm bored with footy he goes let's go have a beer batter and I'm
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like man I just gave up and he said these words I'll never forget it you've given up a New Zealand Vibe
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and uh [ __ ] you're right straight in I'll have a Heineken here at a Heineken first got
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to walk past could I have one of those [ __ ] cigarette puffing away puffing away and then I'm straight into my deal
00:21:29
I go hey how are you how do you how do you have a dealer did you just have a dealer in every country right right and
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Hong Kong sounds like a dangerous place to be doing Class A gear no it's very
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safe yeah you know it's in terms of the penalty if you get caught or yeah you
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know the people you buy off are basically buying the police officer right okay you know so I get him and I
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get half an ounce of coke because I've been waiting for your call what's been
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happening just just [ __ ] drop me the gear would you and then I went back to my hotel and then I started snorting and
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then I got really [ __ ] angry with myself and you know and I just started snorting
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and then I you know I just wanted to die and I didn't want to hang myself or OD
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on anything else because that would affect my family but in my head it made sense that my king Rock and roller went
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out oding on on coke yeah it's like a revolution way to go out isn't it so I
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just ordered everything that I could and passed out on the floor and so in a way it was a like it was it
00:22:38
was kind of a suicide that was a suicide now I wanted to die right that was my plan I was just gonna die you know I've
00:22:44
just snort enough Coke to kill me you know and you know half an ounce is a pretty good job you know you you
00:22:52
more than enough to die yeah um and I passed out and when I was passed out my then eight-year-old
00:22:58
daughter magically appeared sitting on my chest going what are you doing Dad why are you doing this we need you at
00:23:04
home you shouldn't be doing this it was like she was [ __ ] right there and I woke up
00:23:11
and I went what the [ __ ] I flushed what I had left of the cocaine down the toilet
00:23:17
uh rang in New Zealand booked a flight back home and got off the plane I fell out of the plane on April 1st
00:23:26
2007 and haven't picked up since wow yeah just so I gave up drugs alcohol and
00:23:33
cigarettes on the same day and just gone through 15 years your life's been miserable ever since
00:23:39
people used to say to me in those years come back and they go you know uh you look great you look great on the outside
00:23:46
I feel like [ __ ] on the inside when I was with the Coco like [ __ ] [ __ ] on the outside but I felt [ __ ] great on
00:23:53
the inside but it's been a journey it's been really really really hard you know
00:23:58
I suppose now you know I I'm a guy that protects myself so when I was doing comedy everyone is
00:24:07
you treat your wife like a fish wife no I'm protecting myself you know um if I sleep with one woman I've got to
00:24:16
sleep with a thousand so I made it very clear in my comedy that I was married because I didn't want to fall into that
00:24:24
trap right so when I what do you mean in terms of your addictive personality yeah
00:24:28
yeah yeah yeah yeah so it was a protection so I'd be sitting in in bars with a woman as people come up and go
00:24:34
that's not your wife who's this it's actually my sister-in-law here's my wife
00:24:38
Coming oh sorry Mike I did you know so it was designed to keep me safe uh and so then coming out about my drug
00:24:48
addiction was the next logical step it was always designed to keep me safe yeah I had no plan it was just like if you're
00:24:57
gonna do this this is what we're going to do and then I had a whole lot of people watching for me if I went to the
00:25:03
toilet people would magically appear just so you're coming in for a job fight
00:25:07
hey you know so have you been offered it since oh heaps yeah and and come on bro
00:25:17
it's just that's me just us it never goes right I always thought Dom that I could go back
00:25:30
and uh have a beer you know and Last Christmas I discovered Heineken zero I knocked off that first box in about 20
00:25:41
minutes seriously and then the next day was another box and the next day was another
00:25:47
box yeah yeah you know my wife Heineken zero like it tastes the same as normal Heineken but you're not getting
00:25:54
any any back out of it yes reminder like the first time I drank the box I got so drunk my wife said you know
00:26:01
you're getting louder no I'm not no I'm not I've got a [ __ ] faux drunk you
00:26:06
know because I hadn't and it was uh you know in the end after a few days my wife
00:26:11
said you can't do this you know like look at you you're just [ __ ] go nuts
00:26:15
on this [ __ ] so we had a rule for every hour of yard work that I did um I was allowed a beer so that's when I
00:26:23
started gardening 24 hours ago laughs it's two in the morning now so I've just you know I've just you
00:26:39
know I've given it up again but it was a happy reminder like you know the thing
00:26:44
that I miss the most out of everything cigarettes say sorry I love soups like I love the smell of cigarettes well if you
00:26:51
hate the smell is no [ __ ] you I love it you know like people get in my car you
00:26:56
don't smell your [ __ ] light up blow that [ __ ] on me I love that [ __ ] you
00:27:01
know okay so yeah I've got an addictive personality yeah and it was um was it
00:27:07
hard going off all that stuff and particularly the alcohol and and the Coke and the weed and then here just
00:27:11
having to like um I know I suppose you feel particularly vulnerable at that point like there's no you're not taking
00:27:17
anything to mask your emotions and I'm not going like my mate said go to AAA go
00:27:23
to n a go to all these but what you want me to give [ __ ] addicted to a god of my choice that's not for me you know
00:27:32
I'm from the school of whatever works but I'm I'm pig-headed and then one day
00:27:37
I discovered something like I'm an addict on so why don't you use my addictive personality for good so I got
00:27:44
addicted to being clean and sober yeah I addicted so I counted I counted days how
00:27:49
are you Mike 833 dude I'm [ __ ] awesome well I've been 833 so I would just count days count days count days
00:27:57
for 10 years I counted days I was gonna ask if you still do it now you must be like five whatever thousand I have no
00:28:04
clue where I'm at no I just don't I just don't bother but that's what I needed to
00:28:09
do to get me through I got addicted to use my addictive personality for good so um yeah so it was around this time like
00:28:17
200789 whatever that you you came out publicly and said you suffered Depression was um was that a bit cool
00:28:23
why did you decide to do that um again you know like well it happened accidentally really uh so I'm
00:28:31
I'm at home I'm depressed I'm not going anywhere Willie Jackson's worrying about
00:28:36
me right he's on radio yeah he's on radio live and he's worrying about me
00:28:40
you need to go right away [ __ ] you I don't need to go back to work I'm fine
00:28:43
you need to get [ __ ] you you get out of the house I'm not getting out of the
00:28:46
house and he goes um so he goes um Martin crumbs going off for a week I want to get you that job you're going to
00:28:54
come in and do I want to do the [ __ ] radio you know you need to get out we're
00:28:58
good mate so I went into radio live and I had 176 746 75 radio live I'm my king
00:29:06
you know I started reading out the headlines oh you know today if you've got a dad I'm just racing on
00:29:14
that point two percent if you're going to struggle with the interest rate give
00:29:16
us a call but everyone had done these topics all day right yeah and then they come back and I look at the board no
00:29:21
calls hey this piece of paper plan down the street if you have people around you give us a
00:29:26
call radio live another brakes and uh 20 past 10. 20 past 25 past 10 at night yeah yeah
00:29:39
producer goes uh we only have right no more breaks and then my inner critics started you know just started swearing
00:29:46
just start swearing starts throwing people will go don't you just tell the truth tell the truth tell me there's no
00:29:51
one there so I had this big [ __ ] war going on in my head and it was dead out dead air for 30 seconds and I'm just
00:29:57
closing my eyes and then I went [ __ ] it just tell the truth and I just told her
00:30:02
I said Hey Ron uh there are no calls there have been no calls I've been lying to you for the
00:30:09
last 20 minutes uh and if no one calls in the next five seconds I'm going to
00:30:13
start talking to the voices in my head then I close my eyes and I started talking you know the reason no one's
00:30:18
calling is because no one likes you oh people like you they're probably eating
00:30:22
dinner eating dinner it's 25 a night no one eats dinner at 25 cent and no he's
00:30:26
just a loser you know why do you always call Michael why do you always call him Michael on this stream of unconscious
00:30:31
thought came out of my mouth and then my producer went you better take the course
00:30:35
and I had a full board and the first fellow I talked to was a fella multiple called rangi I knew his Maori because
00:30:42
his name was ringy the first thing the first thing he said to me was bow bow I have those voices
00:30:51
too and as soon as he said that I just felt a connection so me and rangi we had a conversation all eight of us and we
00:31:00
were just talking and then the next four and then I had a 12 year old girl calling and she was like this is she was
00:31:10
crying she goes this is never like I've been having mental health issues and
00:31:14
what you're describing is exactly what it is and Caitlyn was your name and by
00:31:19
the Cadence whole family after the studio the next night and they all came up you know all of these people who were
00:31:25
just connected yeah you know and they must have felt so good yeah well then the next day I went and we have full
00:31:30
border so the next day I go in and I say we can talk about all this [ __ ] or we
00:31:34
can talk about what we're talking about lastly full Board of calls full Board of
00:31:38
course and then by the end of the week we were The Nutters Club you know hey this is another club it's still going
00:31:44
you're not involved with it anymore but it's still going to this day yeah
00:31:47
be with Hamish and um and Kyle um I just like I couldn't do it anymore physically I couldn't do it eleven to
00:31:57
one I'm in the schools on Monday morning and I'm up at five so I get to bed at
00:32:03
three I've got two hours sleep Monday's easy on year three Tuesdays killed me it
00:32:09
was like the morning after the morning after the night before yeah and in the end I just had to make a call
00:32:15
yeah and my focus wasn't on everyone's mental well-being by that stage it was on kids
00:32:21
and so I spent the next five years researching and listening when I first started I was
00:32:29
like everyone I wanted to go in and I thought I had all the answers and I was going to do this and I was going to do
00:32:35
that and I was going to do this and then after speaking in the first few schools
00:32:39
I realized I didn't know what the problem was yeah so I lost board members because they were like we need to
00:32:43
reproduce my Kings we need to get my Kings out there and I'm like just slow down I don't know what the problem
00:32:50
is you know once we discover what the problem is then we can set about our task in Earnest and it took me five or
00:32:57
six years to understand that the biggest problem we've got is imposter syndrome
00:33:01
and overactive and accredit and now it's so obvious yet we've got all of these
00:33:07
agencies that that won't even listen they don't even believe it no that's not
00:33:12
the biggest problem is depression it's anxiety no these are the outcomes of an
00:33:17
overactive inner critic you [ __ ] [ __ ] you know if you know we're always focusing on
00:33:25
Behavior we're never asked what drives the behavior you know Eating Disorders
00:33:29
are the biggest problem facing young people today yet when you go to the eating disorder clinic they make it
00:33:35
about the food my daughter's got an eating disorder and we go to the eating disorder clinic and you know right we're
00:33:41
all going to have a shared lunch today so your lovely daughter can see what it's like to eat you know and and every
00:33:49
time she says something that's not her speaking that's Anna that's Anna
00:33:55
speaking I'm like what the [ __ ] oh anorexia right and then one day my daughter said after four sessions she
00:34:01
goes you know my problem's not food eh food's not my problem the problem if it
00:34:07
wasn't food it'd be alcohol it would be drugs it would be boys it would be the
00:34:12
gym I want to know why my brain is making it about the food and that was the last session we had the right but we
00:34:21
focus on Behavior like we do it with everything drug dealers you know drugs throw all the dealers in jail let's ask
00:34:28
a serious question why are there so many people today that need to be on drugs what are the drugs doing and then 90 of
00:34:36
the cases brother it's shutting their [ __ ] self-doubt up yeah you know it's
00:34:40
always alcohol you know same thing it gives you a break from temporary release yeah you're escaping it's the relentless
00:34:48
shoot of temporary happiness you know in the irony is people said to me like my friends you know what's it like being an
00:34:55
addict you tell me I'm not an addict dude you go to the gym seven days a week
00:34:59
you miss a day you turn into an [ __ ] you know uh you know oh bro what's it
00:35:05
like hiding things from Mrs you tell me I don't know how it thinks dude you play
00:35:08
golf three times a week you Misses thinks you play once a fortnight you're [ __ ] lying you know so the the the
00:35:15
thing that most men are addicted to more than anything else is work you know I fire money at the problem I've got
00:35:22
troubles at home I've got [ __ ] troubles with self-esteem and to cover it all up I [ __ ] throw money at it
00:35:27
yeah so when was I am Hope born when did that come about um that was just an accident really I
00:35:33
was working with some suicidal kids and I was talking to them saying how can we never talk
00:35:38
because we don't know who's safe what does that mean we don't know who's
00:35:42
going to judge me I don't know who's going to gossip around me I don't know
00:35:45
you know like I don't know who's safe you know I don't want to be ridiculed I
00:35:49
don't want to be appointed that I said so you know we need to do something about that why don't we come up with
00:35:55
something that signals I am safe and they came up with a wristband that says I am hope if you're you know if you're
00:36:03
wearing The Wristband what you're saying to people is I won't judge you I won't
00:36:07
[ __ ] gossip about you uh I'll be there for you most importantly I won't
00:36:11
try and fix you I'm not qualified to fix you I won't take on your problem I'm not
00:36:15
qualified but I'm here to listen and if you need help I'll go with you yeah but
00:36:19
if you need to offload [ __ ] I will sit here and listen I will call time on the
00:36:24
conversation if I need to yeah but but I'm feeling you you know and I have experiences that you know similar to
00:36:32
yours so um I am Hope was was born and you know and it just took off I couldn't
00:36:38
believe like in a big way yeah I just had no idea that it was going to take off and you know it's around the kids
00:36:45
and so people so when we were doing our I am hope talks um the biggest thing that happened so
00:36:51
we're talking about our experiences and we would encourage counseling uh why
00:36:56
because my counselor saved my life and I was saying to the kids look ignore what the counselor looks like
00:37:04
it's someone that's not from your circle it's someone that doesn't have your
00:37:08
background go to this independent person I've shared my experience so we made
00:37:13
counseling cool problem was some schools didn't have councils and in some schools
00:37:19
the the counselor there was related to mum in some way or as a teacher and they didn't feel like they could talk so
00:37:27
they'd contact me and I'd say just go and see someone private I'll find
00:37:31
someone private and I will pay for it by 2018 those private sessions which we we
00:37:39
didn't advertise we're running at about ten thousand dollars a month so we're
00:37:43
paying about ten thousand dollars a month for private sessions yeah and then someone came up with a Gumboot Friday
00:37:49
idea you know having depressions like walking through mud most people are hiding it why don't we all put on gum
00:37:55
boots so people who have depression can see people in gum boots and know that these are people that care and we can
00:38:00
raise money for them and I said they can we can raise money for your charity and
00:38:06
straight away I went why don't we raise money for free counseling but unlike other charities
00:38:13
why don't we donate 100 of the funds to counseling so I set up a bank account
00:38:19
with kiwibank and the other way I can come out was with an invoice from um from a counselor and we will cover
00:38:27
the um the admin I'm already paying a hundred and twenty thousand dollars a year in free counseling that should be
00:38:33
more than enough to to cover the yearly rate of what's the name sir of the admin
00:38:40
so that's that's what we do you know unfortunately now there's you know it's
00:38:45
it runs at about 10 percent the admin so you know we've only got enough to cover
00:38:49
1.2 but I just worked my ass off going around to corporates and going around to well-meaning people and asking them to
00:38:56
help me with the admin and and the admin none of it comes to us we Outsource the
00:39:01
admin we Outsource this to and 100 of that money goes to them we don't clip the ticket yeah you know it's you know
00:39:08
it's for me my big thing with people who are collecting money for charity is
00:39:13
always much of my ten dollars is going to you yeah yeah yeah very thirsty Charities and I always ask the kids so
00:39:19
do you you know do you get you volunteering for this oh no we get minimum wage so you're being paid to do
00:39:25
this so some of this money is going to you no offense but I'm not I'm you know
00:39:30
yeah and I got my own charity you know so I just wanted to do something that you know our kids could you know use and
00:39:37
why counseling this way because in order for a kid to get free counseling in this
00:39:42
country through the Ministry of Health you have to go to the doctor the doctor has to diagnose you mentally ill that
00:39:49
stigma follows you because it's on your records for the rest of your life then
00:39:52
you oh yeah it makes it hard to get insurance and all sorts of things oh and yeah and then next thing you you know
00:39:58
you're also on a long waiting list and then yeah you know uh by the end of getting in to see someone you know
00:40:05
they're often burnt out and they don't have time so this way here is you know
00:40:10
this way here is getting early so the government see the Ministry of Health counseling as a crisis situation
00:40:20
we see it as a preventative situation so you go and see a counselor when you're
00:40:24
in crisis too late when you're in [ __ ] crisis yeah yeah and now you need the hospital our whole thing is if
00:40:32
you see a counselor about a little problem that doesn't come to be a big problem and they just help unscramble
00:40:37
thoughts they don't fix you they help you unscramble your thoughts they Empower you to fix you give you a
00:40:42
different way of looking at things so young people don't want to see counselors because they're mentally ill
00:40:47
they go and see counselors to stay well I had a um a government a Minister's um
00:40:54
a Minister's aide you know his the guy that gives them all his ideas ring me up
00:41:00
and say um you can be Friday will never be funded why not because anyone can use it what
00:41:06
do you mean you don't even have to be mentally ill to use it okay you're a
00:41:11
[ __ ] idiot what do you mean so you're saying that someone has to be mentally
00:41:16
ill to see a [ __ ] counselor that's like saying to someone why are you going
00:41:20
to a doctor you haven't had a heart attack yeah why are you at the hospital why are you at the gym you haven't had a
00:41:25
heart attack I said kids don't want to see it comes because they're mentally
00:41:29
ill they go to stay well you [ __ ] yeah it's such a broken sister so what they
00:41:36
do is they fund bricks and mortar right it's like they set up a taxi company
00:41:40
you've got to have an office she would have the admin you've got to have
00:41:43
lawyers you've got to have contractors then you've got to buy the taxis and the
00:41:48
drivers of the councilors but in order to see the council you've got to go to
00:41:51
the taxi Rank and you don't get a choice of what driver you want you've got to
00:41:54
take the first cab off the rank and this is under their access and choice so with
00:41:59
that it's between 350 and 2000 dollars right and this is under access and choice where there's limited access and
00:42:06
there's no choice and our system or what have we done we invented Uber that's all we did yeah that's you carry
00:42:15
the costs in the car you carry the cost of the account you just charge us what you charge us up front with all of those
00:42:22
things built in and the average cost is 147 man you've got so much passion and
00:42:28
so much energy for this I can I can almost see the rage do you um that I mean how do you how do you keep
00:42:35
your own mental health in check because it's like you might I worry about you
00:42:39
and I worry about jazz Thornton a little bit from uh Voices of Hope because it's
00:42:42
like you take a lot on you're taking a lot of other people's problems and that
00:42:46
no I don't know what people share their problems whether that's got to bring you no it
00:42:52
doesn't you know you want to know why my job is not to take on other people's
00:42:57
problems my job is not to I'm I pathway people so our current system deals with
00:43:03
individuals I'm looking at the big picture so our focus is this positive societal
00:43:13
attitudinal change remember this eighty percent of people in crisis never ask for help because they're worried about
00:43:22
what Society thinks says or does so until we change society's attitude you can have the best
00:43:32
mental health system in the world you can throw a billion dollars a day at it but if people aren't buying into it
00:43:39
you're wasting your [ __ ] time so attitudes have to change so I will listen to your problem I don't take it
00:43:48
personally I will listen to your the the the tale of your son being refused to help it at a hospital and then going
00:43:57
back an hour late uh and being trespassed off the premises to him dying seven hours later I will listen to that
00:44:05
I will I will be enraged by that and I use that as my motivation going forward okay so it's always about see jazz is a
00:44:16
bit different she you know she's she takes everything I don't take everything on my my is that a maturity
00:44:24
thing do you think well so I've just looked at where I can be most effective
00:44:29
yeah you know and like I can save individuals and I don't buy into that argument if we save one life it's all
00:44:36
worth it you know so you know so yes yeah so wound up talking about it I can tell yeah I'm passionate yeah yeah
00:44:47
at the so we have dhbs referring people to Gumboot Friday we cope with their overload and people say to me
00:45:00
say something tell them they can't do it like why it's not about them it's about
00:45:06
the [ __ ] kids you know my you know my saying is they are all our children yeah
00:45:12
when you have been to every decile of school in the country you will know that in the elite private schools of this
00:45:20
country they have equally as many kids who are [ __ ] struggling with mental health issues and in some cases more
00:45:28
than poorer areas you know I don't care if you're a redneck piece of [ __ ] that
00:45:35
hates moldy and hates me I love your child and I will I will crawl over broken glass to get your child the care
00:45:45
that they need and you've got to have that you've got to have that attitude
00:45:49
that everyone is equal in men's or health God you've done some good work eh
00:45:55
you just just you sleep well at night these days I never sleep bro yeah I you just have a good night's sleep you
00:46:02
should be I wake up every two hours my windows 62 Dom Windows 62 does not stop it does not stop it is always always
00:46:13
working there are always things that I have to write down there are always things that you know look
00:46:21
I've got 10 years left if I'm lucky oh come on how how can you say that well
00:46:26
I've I've had yeah I've had a major stroke I've got one one artery work into
00:46:30
my brain at the moment I've had two two heart um not surgeries but heart [ __ ]
00:46:36
things I pass them no no no no um yeah no they have you know when you're awake
00:46:41
they put [ __ ] through your heart so I've had two of them you've got no vices now
00:46:45
you're a healthy dog that doesn't matter you know I smoke for most of my life
00:46:49
I've put huge mountains of coke up my nose and I smoked weed from 13 years old
00:46:56
right up till I was 45 every day you know I was a when I left smoking I was a 40 smoker a day so I'm a realist you
00:47:05
know if the big man came out of the sky today and said I'll give you 15 years or
00:47:10
take you I'll take the 15. [Applause] you now 16. so I'm 60. I've got 10 years
00:47:19
left I'm gonna make them count yeah you know I I I [ __ ] around enough I you know I I made you know I spent
00:47:29
most of my life making everything about me I you know I look at this younger generation and they they they need a
00:47:38
soldier you know they need someone out front kicking down doors and warding off all
00:47:45
of the people who tell you why you can't do that they need someone out there
00:47:50
advocating for them and I'm going to be out front um so they can go on and change the
00:47:57
world I seriously believe yeah that they can change the world they just need someone to take the bullets from all the
00:48:03
old [ __ ] out there that are trying to stop them and that's my job I know what
00:48:08
my purpose is I you know I know it's a you know it's a it's a huge sacrifice
00:48:13
for my family you know in terms of the time and effort and energy you I'm always out there fighting Wars yeah you
00:48:21
know I'm I'm trying to spend more time with my wife you know she deserves the
00:48:26
time uh I have unique ways of dealing with that I said babe we need to spend more time together and she went really I
00:48:33
said yes that's exactly what we need to do um I took up golf again at the beginning
00:48:39
of the year so I went and bought her a set of golf clubs and we go out to the driving range she's learning of getting
00:48:45
her lessons and we're going to go out and play golf whenever we can cool you
00:48:49
know and I just want to you know I want to give her some quality time but she knows
00:48:57
that were on a bus that's going really [ __ ] fast and I'm not getting off the bus so get on the
00:49:05
bus and come with me for the ride and you know and and be with me as much as you can and we'll just see where that
00:49:11
takes us like what a what a positive bus as well is this what you're doing now is this
00:49:16
your legacy you reckon well your legacy is what other people decide yes um when you die what do you what would
00:49:24
you like what would you like to think people say about you oh I don't care you know like I always say this to
00:49:35
teachers you know you never you will never know the effect that you have on kids you will never
00:49:44
know how many lives you change you know but your family your funeral when they see everybody that turns up
00:49:53
when the when the dad's standing there with his five kids and he's saying this
00:49:58
lady saved my life if this lady wasn't here this great person wasn't here none
00:50:05
of us would be here we owe everything to that person so you know and there'll
00:50:11
always be people that turn up to your funeral yeah I just turn up just to make sure you're dead right you know and
00:50:18
that's right but that's life yeah that's life I don't know I think 20 years ago
00:50:21
you would have had a bunch of those people but I feel like that that crowd has diminished now oh I don't know it
00:50:26
doesn't it doesn't matter my soul you know legacy's magazine is there an absolutely
00:50:34
just because you brought up Legacy I remember I went and saw um Willie Jackson I want to [ __ ] I want
00:50:43
to say it right and I was talking to him about you know Gumboot Friday and why aren't we getting funding and you know
00:50:49
here's all of our initiative why aren't you I see you out there fighting for
00:50:54
tomahidi I see you out there fighting for everyone you know sure like I'm I'm
00:50:59
I'm I'm not exclusively Maori families but if we lift up everyone's families
00:51:04
then the the Maori families will come up too currently we're focusing on Maori
00:51:09
families and those numbers are [ __ ] going down so it's not working but if we
00:51:13
lift everyone up if the the care comes up for white people naturally it comes up so let's you know and I'm saying
00:51:19
there and he's like oh bro you know and I was like you know how I feel Willie and I just said this right I said
00:51:27
I [ __ ] just feel like giving back that [ __ ] medal that you guys gave me and he he went there goes United and he
00:51:35
laughed and said there goes United and that [ __ ] enraged me and I'll just say do you think I'm here for a [ __ ]
00:51:44
Knighthood power is that what you actually think I'm not here for [ __ ] knighthoods and and that was the day I
00:51:51
went home and I said to my wife I'm giving that [ __ ] thing so this was the officer of the order of marriage
00:51:57
thing yeah yeah yeah surely I mean I'm the stepping stone to a nighthood I know you're not doing any
00:52:03
of this for the accolades but the um the New Zealander of the Year thing in 2019
00:52:06
that must have meant a lot yeah that was huge yeah yeah that's massive because
00:52:11
it's a people's award yeah people nominate you you know the the proudest
00:52:16
uh award that you know I ever got and in comedy was People's Choice of Metro
00:52:22
magazine three times you know you know I don't give a [ __ ] what anyone else and
00:52:28
like you know it's funny funny how like the side of you has never changed like
00:52:32
earlier we were talking about um how you sat on Andrew Shaw who was the TV executive and people were like oh you
00:52:37
never get on TV and you're like I don't give a [ __ ] yeah you still get on TV who
00:52:40
knows you might even though you don't care about it you might still get that
00:52:43
Knighthood even though no no that's burnt now okay yeah you can't you can't give like you know the queen had
00:52:50
to say yes like I you know I had to get a letter from the [ __ ] Queen right you know and
00:52:56
um you know uh so yeah no no that's a participant right kids who cares man you know they they're
00:53:06
handing [ __ ] things out lollies I gave her on Briley one what yeah you know I don't know it's it's just getting
00:53:13
you know a lot of people deserve them you know yeah yeah you do but yeah but you've done a tremendous
00:53:20
yeah I know but that's not the motivation no I know so but there are so many people in the game now that are in
00:53:27
it for a [ __ ] Knighthood you know people are jumping in all they're giving
00:53:31
away Knighthood so like oh yeah I just look people first man people first you know I I love sitting at mangere Bridge
00:53:40
and you know every day people coming up to me and hugging me and telling them about their kids man that's that's the
00:53:45
reward right there man that's the reward right there you know my team I wrote a
00:53:50
book called Tia and Mac the hopeful black dog so it's about a black dog um and
00:53:57
the book was about bullying and you know our current our current uh plan to deal
00:54:03
with bullying is let's bully the bully right you know yeah whereas I now know
00:54:09
because I travel around schools a bullish bully because they're being bullied and you know they've got their
00:54:14
own [ __ ] going on so let's be kind let's say I wrote this book and my team go
00:54:19
into primary schools and they read this book to give kids a better understanding
00:54:23
of what's going on in the bully's head but also helping bullies to understand
00:54:28
that what you're doing is not love that's not love you know they think love
00:54:33
is you know is bullying um and and giving people a bit around and a little girl went up to my Ambassador who read
00:54:43
the story and she can I talk to you and she said yeah what's up darling she goes
00:54:48
did the man who wrote This Book know it was going to help so many of us and that's right there man that's better
00:54:56
than any [ __ ] Knighthood and my eight-year-old daughter when I when she found out I couldn't get you know I was
00:55:03
never going to be a sir she goes dad kings are higher than Sears anyway I like it I like it you will you ever do
00:55:13
I mean he stand up again do you think um I feel like like you're still [ __ ]
00:55:17
funny like before when you were talking about your big giant head and you you wipe pubes I mean I've you can do
00:55:24
different stick to what you used to do I don't trust myself no seriously I've
00:55:30
done it twice since I retired only twice uh one once at Quentin pongi is uh after match
00:55:39
and once at the Mad Butcher now Quentin Pony is after match like I smashed yeah there he is
00:55:50
welcome back and I was like I I had to leave yeah and the same after Mad Butcher roast I had to actually leave I
00:55:59
realized how dangerous that it was in terms of ego yeah and like it's addictive man if you can like if you can
00:56:07
make a room full of [ __ ] people like spit their drink you know that's a rush
00:56:14
it's it's yeah it's I can't do it I just can't I don't trust myself it'll be like
00:56:22
I can just have one drink I can just tell one joke I can incorporate my comedy and my talks which I do and
00:56:31
that's enough yeah it's it's comedy with a difference and um if people want to understand
00:56:38
vulnerability more and I watched this one my wife went on and on about we've
00:56:44
got to watch this thing you've got to watch brene Brown yeah yeah yeah and and
00:56:48
and like everything that brand a says I've been practicing since 2007. yeah and it was one of those lovely feelings
00:56:56
where I had finally had boxes to put things in the other the other only other moment where I've had that was when I
00:57:03
read Malcolm gladwell's The Tipping oh yeah I love that box yeah I was like you
00:57:08
know I'm a maven I'm a Salesman and I'm a connector you know but I had boxes you
00:57:13
know when you just do things because they feel right and then suddenly the boxes it's the first book I'd ever got
00:57:18
to the end of started reading again I just you know so Renee Brown on Netflix just it is it is a wonderful read you
00:57:26
know and the story I'm telling myself is such a great way of you know talking to
00:57:34
Partners you know when when your partner's not saying something here and I know there's friction and you know
00:57:41
like you're getting angry because why aren't you [ __ ] talking to me hey babe
00:57:47
I don't know what's happening I know there's something but the story
00:57:51
I'm telling myself is I did this this this and this and you've it no that's
00:57:58
not what I'm thinking at all um thing is it's just a nice air clearer you know
00:58:04
the story I'm telling myself my inner critic is telling me yeah yeah I must admit I've been a late
00:58:12
entrant to the vulnerability club like it's only a few years ago for me but I
00:58:16
think part of this because I went to um probably a similar generation you're a
00:58:19
little bit younger than you but I went to normal boys school in palmy north and any Pammy boys yeah so any best [ __ ]
00:58:27
hacker pardon me oh did they gave you one yeah New Plymouth boys Hive like I've got a I
00:58:36
filmed them all man I I have got a folder full of Hackers from around just about every school I've got one of the
00:58:43
special ones I got I forgot New Zealander of the year was The Crusaders gave me their hacker on their field it
00:58:49
means more than a night oh that was just yes yeah it's fine chilling so no but uh
00:58:55
you know we're all changing but vulnerability is the new economy you know and that doesn't mean we go and
00:59:00
[ __ ] just throw our dirty laundry out of everything you know it's just being
00:59:05
more honest yeah when people saying you know how are you today dominance did I say I'm good because it's a natural
00:59:11
thing to say you know um what I say now is how you go my inner critics smashing me bro you know and
00:59:18
then suddenly it's not a conversation anymore it's gossip oh [ __ ] what
00:59:22
happened oh I walked past on this morning and the [ __ ] [ __ ] just ignored me you know
00:59:28
I must be done but you know what [ __ ] Norms like and and often times when you do that the other person can provide
00:59:34
context oh well you know Dom had to take his dog to the [ __ ] vet today [ __ ] really so now it's not about me oh
00:59:43
[ __ ] thanks bro I'm gonna go and check in on Dom I didn't know about the dog
00:59:46
you know and that's that's what being honest is about it's looking for ways
00:59:51
that you can be vulnerable without you know without crossing the line of burdening people with your
01:00:01
I think that's what I should write a book on actually I used to have a conversation without burdening people
01:00:05
yeah that'd be a good read yeah I won't do it all right I am geez we've
01:00:14
been sitting here for over two hours and we keep going what what a rich life yeah oh yeah it's been colorful I've
01:00:21
played rugby with the All Blacks yeah last you know I like until last year when I had my last game of rugby at 59
01:00:27
the last game rugby before that I was I played with the All Blacks I was on the tour on the Coca-Cola Convoy with him in
01:00:34
1995 uh they ran out of reserves I ran onto the wing did they pass me the ball no did I touch the ball no but get
01:00:41
[ __ ] I know that there are other all blacks are the same thing yeah I played with the black caps I
01:00:48
[ __ ] toured hip-hop artists uh you know I've been around the world I've
01:00:52
been on the same stage with Dave Chappelle you know I just I've had a really really blessed life and sometimes
01:01:00
when I'm down on myself I have to remind myself and you know I've got six uh five
01:01:04
six beautiful kids you know it's like life's most days Life's good nowadays
01:01:11
it's [ __ ] well you rip what you say so you definitely deserve more good days
01:01:15
than bad days thank you my brother yeah thanks bro I really appreciate your time
01:01:18
you're a great New Zealander thank you who's our sponsors oh I don't know who's sponsoring this
01:01:24
episode oh really well whoever you are you're amazing and none of this would be possible Without
01:01:31
Your sponsorship there he is the comedian Mike King and the sponsor that he did want to thank was my friends at M's
01:01:41
power cookies give them a follow on Instagram M's power cookies or you can buy them online at
01:01:47
munchtime.co.nz hey thank you very much for joining me for this episode of Runners only with dom Harvey hope to see
01:01:53
you next week