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um I think when we started I would have been quite stoic and afraid to show emotion um and things just get me now
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which I I think it's the kids I think it's the family and like with me's story
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that the kids involved like like pulls on strings but also because we've been
00:00:17
doing this journey together me and Shay best friends who started this thing in my garage and now we're on this sort of
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Epic wave and we're not really sure where it's going there are moments where
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we reflect on you know difficult times for us which get me as well and there'll be time like
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what do you mean have you got an example uh yeah guy espa came on our show and um
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really weird dynamic because our show is between two beers and it's sponsored by
00:00:46
export gold gion was on to promote his book about how better his life called the drinking G since he stopped given up
00:00:54
alcohol and Sheamus has been uh off the booze for about two years now and towards the second half of the
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episode uh Shay started sort of talking about his experience with booze and Shay
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I don't want to speak on your behalf for me but um is it the cheeseburger story
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sh Shay is in probably having the best year of his life like he is smashing it on all fronts and I
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remember we might have started the Pod it might have been early days um he was not in a great place like
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struggling it's all right man go for it and yeah as you can see when I think
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about how far he's come and how difficult those conversations were that gets me yeah
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yeah I think it's been really good in terms of making making sense of the world for me um it's given
00:01:56
me um a voice where sometimes a lot of maybe what I was thinking or things that were rattling around my head they
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wouldn't come out and they'd bottle them in and my way of coping was to turn to
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the bottle and it was to to drink and to suppress to suppress those emotions and
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and maybe not deal with them um and you get courage from other people having the
00:02:18
courage to share their story and it gives you a little flicker of oh I felt like that or I've been in that position
00:02:25
and I think with the podcast you've got to give to get and I think yeah it's
00:02:31
like a vulnerability exchange is it yeah yeah but not in a not in a [ __ ] um like you drink Seven up and I drink
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eight up you know what I mean like it's it's not about like who's had a [ __ ]
00:02:41
experience but it's about it's about it's about I guess showing showing who
00:02:45
you are and showing that you understand you have you have a level of empathy and
00:02:50
yeah it has been like in terms of of of that situation yeah I was in the the darkest depths that I I had been you why
00:02:58
what what um was there any sort of like Catalyst I think probably I was looking around in like comparison as a thief of
00:03:05
Joy or whatever however that whatever that saying goes and I was sort of mid late 30s no relationship I was living at
00:03:12
home with my mom which is totally fine but you D can gner if you're listening
00:03:16
to this it's all good but um you know like life is a shared experience as well so you know
00:03:22
I'd love my mom dearly um and I love spending time with her but there there is an element of joy that was probably
00:03:29
missing so while I was able to do some cool things and travel around and and have exciting experiences you want to
00:03:36
share those with people right you want to share them that aren't just your family so there was probably a little
00:03:40
bit of sadness and probably a little bit of um avoidance in that in that kind of
00:03:44
time of my life and um yeah they're probably all coming home to roost I was yeah feeling a bit sorry for myself
00:03:52
being like I said that age no house no kind of assets not that they'd be all an
00:03:57
indoor but in my mind it was yeah it was where it was so it was yeah a little bit
00:04:02
of courage and I'd like to say a little bit of nouse or a sense from from Steph
00:04:08
that something was up and then we had a really you know challenging conversation
00:04:12
at a cafe with another one of our good friends a good supporter of the podcast gav Douglas around what's going on and
00:04:18
and you know have you thought about doing anything silly and I had at that stage thought about you know maybe the
00:04:24
world would be a better place if I kind of wasn't around in it and yeah it's a
00:04:28
hard conversation to have with a mate it's a hard conversation to to have on a
00:04:32
microphone and it's a confronting one to throw it out to the world for them to
00:04:37
kind of consume and the shame and and fear of judgment and what that means for you as a person but the overwhelming
00:04:44
response to anything that I think either of us have ever thrown out there has been one of ARA and one of love coming
00:04:50
back and understanding and acceptance of of those things so that's a really powerful um Foundation to kind of launch
00:04:59
from and yeah I am having a great year it's going it's going it's going it's
00:05:03
going really good and do do do what what oh you you just had a little twinkle in
00:05:08
your ey like a relationship thing you mean or all this you think is like largely as a result of the um
00:05:14
non-drinking yeah I think so I think it's definitely like yeah there's [ __ ]
00:05:17
times where you've got to sit with the feeling of whatever you're feeling and
00:05:20
go [ __ ] I I really have to unpack why I'm feeling this way or why I'm reacting
00:05:24
to this situation but it's a lot for me not saying it's the same for everybody
00:05:29
for a way and comfortable in your own about who kind who you are and what you're
00:05:37
about because [ __ ] you are who you are at the end of the day um yeah yeah I heard heard a podcast that um a podcast
00:05:44
I really like called a Diary of a CEO you guys are familiar with that one much and um steo from Jackass was on there
00:05:49
and he talked about um you know the disease of alcoholism and he goes any disease you have your goal is generally
00:05:56
to get back to the person you were before like meaning say cancer for example example you just want to get
00:06:00
back to where you were he said like um the disease of like alcoholism or drug addiction it's the only disease where
00:06:06
when you give it up your life will be better yeah I thought oh that is a that is a great way of looking at it so was
00:06:12
it kind of an intervention like a like casually like a an intervention [ __ ] Steve that must have taken a lot of
00:06:19
balls on your part it was a checkup it was you know you know when things uh are a bit off and you a sense that they're
00:06:30
more serious than what's been LED on and I I felt like it needed a really clear
00:06:36
question um to get to to to get to what the [ __ ] is like you know when when Shay
00:06:42
was in this dark dark space he was he was shielding how bad it was and it wasn't until I asked you know
00:06:51
are you considering doing something silly or whatever it was that it opened this this chat up and man like yeah it
00:07:01
send us on a bit of a ride like we were I don't know how much you want to talk
00:07:05
about it but we were booking shrinks and we were like talking to your brother and
00:07:10
like there was this whole thing and I like to think it was a really cool thing like there was a group
00:07:18
of us a group of us best mates and we all came together and we're like [ __ ]
00:07:23
we're a bit worried about sh here like what are we going to do and that community that came around you
00:07:31
F that's um I mean it's it's it's a big um I feel like it's a big friendship
00:07:37
risk a like he could have taken it the wrong way and um yeah stormed out or then just
00:07:42
been um aloof with you moving forward with the information that he shares with you for our friendship was tighter than
00:07:50
that it was never going to go to there it was it was always going to be this just means we have to address what's
00:07:56
going on um this just means we actually have to fa face this front on and yeah just [ __ ] hug the big guy and and
00:08:06
let's get him through it which is why I'm so emotional it's just because you don't often reflect on well
00:08:12
we've never reflected on it until now like really like the conversation happened we were in a
00:08:18
cafe surface level spoken about it maybe since then I don't think I've ever
00:08:22
spoken to Gavin about it ever since no um yeah so you're kind of you just yeah
00:08:27
you brush over it and you kind of move on yeah I mean what are what are your Recollections of it uh not not that same
00:08:33
level of detail I I don't even I I can't now when you mention it like I do
00:08:36
remember that you you someone contacted my brother cuz weirdly I got a phone call out of the blue like just asking
00:08:42
how I was um which which doesn't always or hadn't always happened how how did
00:08:47
you reply I I I'd probably be like yeah no all good yeah that's probably that
00:08:52
was that's probably my default or make a gag or something like that but um yeah I
00:08:57
like I I I maybe didn't realize that it was so obvious or Apparent from the outside um yeah it had been it was
00:09:05
probably on the tail end of quite a challenging time where I was I was up in papugi for two years working on a
00:09:09
project which really pushed me to my limit um every which way you could imagine so it um I was maybe just in a
00:09:17
bit of a blur at that stage I don't remember really when I came maybe came out of it I don't know but but then like
00:09:25
that was even before the drinking stopped so I think we had that situation and then
00:09:29
carried on boozing you know for a while and then the boozing finished 2019 yeah so there was a separate 2020
00:09:38
conversation right like that wasn't oh I'm getting them confused okay so when
00:09:42
did this one happen uh that would have been 2018 yeah maybe maybe before thecast
00:09:48
started the podcast and then the drinking conversation was was a separate one um it had just annoy it had just
00:09:55
annoyed me to be honest cuz Shay for anyone listening to this like Shay is the most charismatic man in the
00:10:01
room like he comes in he makes everyone feel comfortable he's the life of the
00:10:05
party but after a few beers he would just get sloppy and he would get I wouldn't like hanging out with him after
00:10:12
he'd maybe like one beer fine two beers okay and after that I was just like mate
00:10:17
I actually don't like hanging out with you when you've been drinking because
00:10:20
what do you mean what do you mean sloppy like a like a spit talker pisty just pasty and just like I'm very clever like
00:10:27
very witty and very CL very good level of gags but then like but like a really seedy undertone to the
00:10:35
gags you sure you're not in the coke something someone on the coke would say
00:10:39
very very good yeah it was you know there was a little bit of everything but you know it was um it was yeah I I like
00:10:46
I could recognize that behavior and um yeah it was it was just picking up the pieces in the next morning as well and
00:10:52
being like [ __ ] it was like a broken record conversation of like H I'm like
00:10:57
I'm here again but it was conversations were off in my kind of own head and I do
00:11:00
remember vividly that that first instance that first flare up where he was having a pop at me and I didn't like
00:11:05
it and I think I didn't like it because I knew it was no well no one no one's
00:11:09
going to like it are they no but I think also it ate away because I knew he was right and it was like [ __ ] I just I
00:11:16
remember saying like you're just not like a [ __ ] weird therapy that's great I appreciate you're
00:11:22
not you're not living up to your potential like you've got so much potential like you starting to fulfill
00:11:27
your potential starting to back then you were in some [ __ ] shitty job and you're pissed up and I was like man
00:11:33
you've got so much to give [ __ ] cut the booze out like let's get this get
00:11:38
this train back on the tracks [ __ ] that's nice that's the greatest gift you
00:11:43
can give someone as a friend eh like have the courage to have that conversation it'd be much easier just to
00:11:47
bite your tongue and not have it but I had I mean I I had bit my tongue for a long time and I think that was the
00:11:53
culmination like his tongue was raw yeah say man fam Sam you need to stop drinking but
00:12:02
it's a weird it's a weird relationship with boo because for so long we had also
00:12:06
championed it like we used to go to these labor weekend tournaments where Shay would be doing 16 funnels on the
00:12:12
sideline and we'd all be chanting shus shame like he was the hero because he
00:12:16
could sink so much piss so it's kind of yeah and that gives you this weird gratitude like gratification kind of
00:12:22
cycle as well that's a bege of Honor yeah it was it was a thing you know oh sh he can he can hold us piss and
00:12:28
certain name here he can hold his piss it was it it wasn't and probably still
00:12:31
is I guess a be Javan I don't know I feel like the conversation's changed but
00:12:35
then I'm old as [ __ ] now so if I go Ahad and say I don't want to drink I don't
00:12:38
have anyone calling me a [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah it's an age thing that was mid 20s
00:12:43
late 20s like you can't be doing that when you I still I still I still Frank
00:12:48
the Tank just not not the same doing a doing a power raid out of a shoe is oh that's neat that's really really
00:12:54
special but like I think it's um it's definitely like I think it's an example
00:12:59
as well for friendships that that we can have that level of directness and honesty um in conversation and it's
00:13:07
probably been honed in this kind of environment where we do have license to ask challenging questions to people um
00:13:15
and then to take that out of this environment into kind of everyday life as a as a skill as well yeah yeah yeah
00:13:22
yeah I'd agree I um yeah I've been doing it a lot less lot a lot shorter time
00:13:27
than what you guys have but um one I've realized is that everyone's got a [ __ ]
00:13:30
going on yeah absolutely everyone and when you when you realize that it's actually quite comforting it's like oh
00:13:35
okay I'm I'm not special I'm not alone it's just everyone's got [ __ ] going on
00:13:39
even people that you wouldn't even expect absolutely which I think that's
00:13:41
cool it's a broken record as well but you know like if by listening or comparing yourself if there is one
00:13:48
person out there it's a [ __ ] cliche it winds me up but if there is one person out there that take some Solace
00:13:54
and can avoid the feelings that you felt yourself in that moment then that's
00:13:57
[ __ ] worth it yeah that's worth the the embarrassment or kind of the uncom
00:14:02
discomfort of um being in that space or having that conversation or facing up to
00:14:07
that reality really is yeah and how's your mental health now you good yeah I'm
00:14:11
really good yeah I am really good it's um yeah it's it's it's uh I really enjoy
00:14:17
the ability to do what we do and I why I find it quite hard to nail down like a favorite episode is because when I I
00:14:25
listen back to everything that we do like from welcome to between two beers to the outros that I tend to to throw
00:14:32
together that's not a dig at you yeah I don't but like they just they're just
00:14:38
packed with little nuggets of wisdom and they're amazing gifts that we've been
00:14:44
privy to that yeah they just they they do all blend into one but I always find there's some little piece that I can
00:14:51
pull from whoever we've spoken to that I can adapt and and relate to whatever I'm
00:14:56
going through or feeling or or make sense of at that moment it's [ __ ] awesome so yeah really good really good
00:15:02
um really good heat space right here right [Music] now