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okay Runners only with dime Harley Runners only with John Harvey and Maya Wilson g'day Maya hi get in nice and
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close today come on you want to hear my juicy voice yeah thanks for coming over yeah thanks for having me so great to be
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here really appreciate it you are the um I went for a run this morning and I was
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thinking about this I think I'm sure you're the third double International that I've had on
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the podcast Matthew Rich rugby and Luke uh Sophie Devine cricket and hockey she was a basketballer back in her day I'm
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pretty sure oh no wrong National level and you you so you've you're um a
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regular and the silver ferns have been for years now and you played basketball for the country as well I did I'm glad
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you've done your research Tom like you're done not too shabby I you know
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debuted for the tofu so the woman's team when I was 16. and yeah I had a pretty
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cool pathway deciding whether I wanted to go to the states um college basketball scholarship or
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play netball and I chose to stay at home so yo I wanted to ask you about that because it seems like the um the the
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obvious choice and the exciting choice would have been to go to America uh so you're obviously really good at
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basketball like naturally good did you just prefer netball as a sport now see this whole decision I Loki got vilified
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for it from so many different people thinking that I should have just gone to the States but I felt like I always
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wanted to be a jewel international netball were really smart and got me into the silver ferns environment when I
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was about 15 as a training partner and I thought okay I've taked like half of
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that goal off I can stay in New Zealand and still study for free so why don't I
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just take that goal off play and actually get paid for it because in the States I wasn't going to get paid for it
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so yeah but there's a lot of opportunities that would go you know come along with the scholarship yeah I
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never thought I was going to make it though I never thought that I was ever going to be WNBA worthy whereas I felt
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like that pathway to become a silver firm was pretty much I had my foot in the door and in some ways I felt like
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I'd been groomed to potentially take on that cell phone's bib okay and I suppose
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um like compare those two sports like women's netball in New Zealand massive
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women's basketball in New Zealand not so massive yeah and at that time there
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wasn't like a woman's League where they were getting paid in New Zealand but
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they they do now and I just feel like I'm I'm not regretful of the decision
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that I've made I feel like it's done me quite well but I would love to play
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basketball like I was really good at smashing people like smashing oh there's
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one of my goals if I could be on smashing bro oh the crowd goes well I've made I've made it yeah how good are you
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um how aggressive can you be a nibble it's quite confrontation I played a bit
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of social netball over the years what position oh you're looking like a gold keep
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Goldie to me ABC anything but Center yeah I feel like uh I was really good at a screen like you can actually get elbow
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elbow grabbing but I guess the netball they called it a non-contact sport but it definitely has a lot of contact in it
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especially as the I guess as the game's progressing but yeah get me on a screen
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on a pick and roll and Bob's your uncle I'm in there keep you on a walk with a
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what oh say this is this basketball let's go put me on a screen oh pick and roll
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I'm go I'm going to tell yeah so were you um how much how much of what you do
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as natural Talent oh yeah so okay so you were in the um dual International by the age of 19.
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yeah total twins at 16. yeah silver things not long after that so there must have been some natural Talent there but
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one thing I've discovered with this podcast doing this over a year um natural Talent only gets you so far
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than this hard work that's required as well I've had a different journey I was
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really lazy at high school and I was lucky that I was involved in teams that were successful and their netball and
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basketball were picking me for my natural Talent once I left High School to play for the central pulse I learned
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what training was so I hated running I'm still not the biggest fan of run of
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running but I know that I've put myself into position that's what you do as an
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athlete and to be the best of the best that's what you get physically you've
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got to be able to be capable so I felt like it got me so far and then it put me on the bench so I'd never been benched
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until I played this or made this all fans and that was a learning curve for me but it just meant that I needed to
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develop their training ethic and work ethic and I feel like I've finally got
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there now wait I forgot about the running and how much you hate running I I um while researching this yeah I
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stumbled across the story that you did and you you were really good at soccer when you were younger yeah and you used
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to play on the like the quarterfields or the money fields or whatever and then as
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soon as it progressed to the full size field and you had to run you're like I'm
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done I could toe hack the ball honestly I was so good I could go towhead one end
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to the other and then it got 400 meters and I was like I'm not right no I'm not
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running anymore I ran 100 meters when you can stay in a five meter Circle a nipple and not move
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but now I'm yeah that's a whole all a part of the job shuttles yo-yo have you
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tried a yo-yo have you heard of it a Yogo test is like a beat test but it's like
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um Sprint endurance so you're Sprint 20 meters out 20 meters back have 10 seconds of rest and it gets faster and
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faster so as a part of our nipple we have to do it and we have to make Target to make silver Foods so if you're not
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fit enough to make Target you don't make the same I reckon you should give it a crack oh
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I'd love to um so I'm guessing so what you're saying I think is um you can like make that silver ferns
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environment with natural talent but then you've got to [ __ ] work I feel like I was probably
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a very rare case of natural talent to be able to make there but yeah I would say I wish I developed the
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work ethic way younger because I feel like I'd be Leaps and Bounds ahead of where I currently am but at the same
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time I sort of feel like I'm starting to hit my Prime so yeah yeah were you were
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you just like were you just a big kid for your age in terms of height and stuff like that is that what made you
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good yeah I've always been I've always been massive like I want to say I was
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whatever like eight years old and I was the second tallest person in my primary school and the tallest person was my
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brother so my I'm six two my brother's six four six five my older sister's six
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foot and my dad in his prime maybe was five eleven and my mom's five five so I
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didn't necessarily come from tall pedigree but it really helped in terms of yeah Ball Sports like basketball
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netball height can be one of the reasons you make a team when you don't yeah well
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you so you went to Mount Albert and you were in the school's like top netball
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team in your first year so you're like 13. yeah and you're playing with the 17
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to 18 year olds yeah so so it was a thing Becca Megs at that day was that you'd start blooding some of your talent
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from year nine so myself and Holly Fowler who's in my stars netball team we were a part of that that was the we were
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blooded to be where we are and part of that too I was also playing print basketball from year nine
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um what else was I doing and at the same time you're playing School netball with
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your peers and then you'd be playing Women's Club netball with the likes of
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when I first started Porsha Woodman um Kayla McAllister Maria tutaya subtle Fitzpatrick Jamie Lee price I could just
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name off all these ANZ and silver Ferns and so Saturdays I'd be playing with my
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school and Thursday nights I'd be playing with and against women well how was that in terms of um more I guess
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the off-court stuff like do you know it's a huge age Gap it was a huge age gate but they treat you like a kid or
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like a pier both as we first started we were definitely those young ones that were a
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bit annoying and are they doing the tick tocks yeah doing the tick tocks the anko
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tick tocks that was definitely us but I think that was probably a real fundamental part of my development
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because I was playing with some of the best in the game at Club level and you know and actually sometimes it was
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harder to play school because you go from playing at this really high level with women to having to drop down a bit
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there was definitely a significant drop so I actually found dropping down to school actually a lot more challenging
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because I had to um it wasn't the same Pace the people around you weren't necessarily playing
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at the level that you were used to playing it's funny that you see it would it would seem common sense that would be
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easier it'd be like if you're an all black and then you go and play rugby in
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Japan or in France for a season you think it'd be easier but I suppose it is
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challenge it comes with its own sets of challenges yeah it was way harder because there'd be for example there'd
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be balls that I would get fed from some of the women that I'd be expecting at
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school game and it wouldn't happen or sometimes I'd be getting a bit complacent and then someone would come
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out of nowhere so yeah even nowadays I still play a bit of Club netball and in the off season to just muck around and
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it's that whole the the style of the game and knowing that actually you're
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that older head that needs to be a bit more supportive and and go with what's
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happening around you rather than just getting used to what what is your normal yeah so old ahead how old are you 25 25
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are you like one of the in the sort of senior leadership team in the silver ferns now
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yeah I would probably be maybe the second tier wow yeah so I have been around I'm not necessarily starting at
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the moment but yeah I've got that experience and I guess natural leadership so uh yeah I sort of see that
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as my job to serve and be around and be there when people need me yeah cool well
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there's so much to talk about with you and I'm so pleased you're here today
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let's go all the way back so you're um you're from Auckland South Auckland yes
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um mum dad and two brothers did you say I have a older brother and an older sister yep so you're the baby I'm the
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baby really what does that mean I'm the princess yeah I use yeah I definitely
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was when I was growing up I was the person that could twist my dad's arm and
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somehow they'd be lollies or bribes that would be going down so yeah that was me
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yeah and you're quite um you're quite connected with your um your whanau and
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your [ __ ] Papa and stuff yes right the culture yeah right very staunch Maori upbringing yeah your mum's got a um yeah
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my mum's got a mukul Kauai um I was quite fortunate enough because for a lot of urban Maori they moved to
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the big cities and they have to move away from home but for me my um where I [ __ ] a papa two on my dad's side is
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mangere so I got to be raised on my Mirai which is was really important for me and maybe in some instances there's a
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bit of Disconnect for me from my mum's side where she's in the north but lucky
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enough she's moved back to back moved back to the hook young after 25 years in
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our final home so hopefully that'll come when you say raised on your Mirai like
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what do you mean do you actually live on the Merino or you live well yes and no so my parents split when I was about 13
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and my dad moved back to Ahmad back to our Papa so it just meant that every pretty much every weekend or fortnightly
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I was I was there and really fond memories of yeah it was this little piece of Paradise in the middle of
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Auckland that no one had a clue about because it was by the airport so for yeah it's a bit different now my dad
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passed away when I was 18. so it's still something that's coming it's a bit of a
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disconnect but for me it's really important that I go back there and one day be the Big Chief yeah is that the
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goal yeah yeah definitely a big goal my dad had was one of the um key like treaty negotiators and
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komata on our pie so for me a part of his legacy is being able to go back and make things better for you know my
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nieces and nephews that are running around and for our future Generations yeah oh that's cool and what was life
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like growing up baby of the family did you did you get picked on by your older brother and
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sister well they're quite nice to you well my sister's a lot she's about 16
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years older than me so we didn't necessarily grow up around her that much I was mostly my brother and I if you ask
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my brother he probably found me so annoying how much older is he he's two years what
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the what happened why was there a 14 year you you get between the first and the second so my my older sister I've
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technically I've got two older sisters um they're half sisters so my dad had
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two kids when he was about 17. my oldest sister passed away when she was six weeks old of caught death and then a
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year later they had had my next sister so yeah she was raised with my grandparents and then once my brother
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and I came along we were raised by my mum and my dad yeah that's cool yeah and
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um Yeah you mentioned um before your dad passing away so um this happened on the the year that
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you made the silver ferns yeah 2016 was a massive year for me first year out of school first year playing for the well
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moving out of home living in Wellington playing for the pulse and so halfway through the poll season I lost my
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grandmother um from leukemia and then six months later my dad passed away of um a brain aneurysm caused by tumor that
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was really unexpected and so yeah two pretty prominent figures of My Life One you sort of can prepare for because you
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know it's going to happen but yeah my dad was a massive shock so I remember when I got the phone call I was in the
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middle of nowhere in Wellington with no reception and then feeling a bit of a shock getting on a plane and my dad's in
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ICU so dad was in ICU for about five days and then yeah never never did I think at 18 I was gonna have to deal
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with wills and Estates and all that sort of jazz so that was quite full-on yeah we'll go back and focus on your nana
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first because um there's a clip online I watched it yesterday gave me um gave me
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goosebumps actually so you're playing with your poles team um everyone's
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wearing black armbands there's a tribute to your nana and then afterwards it's
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it's like you just you find your mum in the crowd and you just go over there and
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you're sobbing yeah absolutely just broke down I think oh yeah like I said you can prepare for
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stuff like this but then you can and knowing that I had to leave my baggage at the door play a game and then feel
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not just physically exhausted but just emotionally wrecked mentally drained and knowing that I had to go back to a
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funeral straight after so yeah it was sort of like a roller coaster emotions all happening at once and then just like
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flopping what was it what was your relationship with your nana like were you pretty pretty tight yeah very very
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close with my grandmother um we didn't necessarily have the best relationship with my dad's family so my
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grandmother my and my papa on my mum's side were pretty much our rocks and my
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brother and I were the only grandchildren so we were quite spoiled all the time um and that was the third bout of cancer
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that my grandmother had had so over the years she had breast cancer she had Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and then she
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passed away leukemia so it was a pretty full-on Journey um with her and yeah how old was she was
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terrible she must have been like 71 yeah that's not old yeah no it's the same age
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as my mum now yeah and then my mum got my mum got lung cancer and 20 20. so I think you know should Cancer's got it in
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for your family cancer sucks bro like it sucks balls and yeah so I think that impact again like every year somehow
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something uh tragic or really hard happens and that I have to go through so I've
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learned part of my maturity now is because I feel like I've dealt with so much crap like being there done that
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nothing's really going to stop me because I I think um there's some people
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that are lucky that and they're just born with resilience and they manage to
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shake everything off and nothing bothers them and then for everyone else maybe they don't have the same level of
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resilience but you can it's like a muscle you can build it yeah do you think you've always been a resilient
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person or do you think that the adversity and stuff that you've been through has sort of yeah giving you
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resilience definitely adversity and like quite High adversity like life or death
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situations or um you know births of mental like stressful mental health issues for for
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people in my environment so yeah that's why I'm like any little things just
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don't seem to phase me and I fear just like honestly I've been through the
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works and sometimes I'm just used to like okay put your big girl pants on and
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you just keep going like you can break down once everything's done and there'll
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be a piece of time and then you'll be a wreck but right now you just have to get
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on with it oh good for you because I feel like adversely consider make or break people so it can either make you
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stronger like it has with you or there's other people that can just carry it
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around like an invisible baggage I think it's different too if it's about other
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people like your loved ones rather than you like I felt like in those moments I had people relying on me so just get on
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with it um like parents fat like family um or teammates like at times I remember
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when my mum had lung cancer I'd be rushing to training and then I'd be going home and I had to shower mum or do
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her pills and make sure she was eating I was her full-time caregiver as well as having to do yeah like media Ops and
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promos and going to training like it was a full-time gig study study on the side
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of that too yeah it's a lot to deal with no just normal day in the life just keep going what about um what about
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your other siblings like you talk about racing home and sharing your mum and helping your mum sort her pills and
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stuff like what were you like come on guys step up I'm [ __ ] I've got the
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netball in I'm doing this yeah yes and no I guess I knew that I'm one of like the pose one of the
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people that hold it down in my family so part of it I took on the responsibility
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of that and with my being female and it was my mum there was a lot of stuff she only wanted me to do so it just meant oh
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of course like the showering well I get yeah just any like pretty much anything my mum just wanted me to do so it was
00:17:47
because you're the most trustworthy are you bossy yeah I'm I'm a planner I do things based on
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logic yeah it's quite funny because you think um you think the baby of the family would be like the UN bossy one
00:18:02
yeah I don't know I run the race my sister Charlotte she's the baby of our family and she she's bossy as [ __ ]
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yeah boss is everyone around my brother's really good too he just lets me do my thing and he'll just like go
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with it I think part of it I'm gonna say that he likes me doing everything because then he doesn't have to he
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literally birthday presents Christmas presents he won't do anything and so all
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the time Mother's Day just happened oh this is from myself and Country everything's myself and Kay and everyone
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knows that he hasn't done anything but uh great for him and I said what do we
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get them and I have to remind him of whatever I get uh he he doesn't like me
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I I like being told what to do I think you know there's some people that like
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that and some people want to be the the leader and some people just happy to be a follower I'm happy to go with the flow
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I'm like I'm I'm Team bro on this one you're Team bro so you're not dominant
00:18:50
no no um just go back to that post game for a second the black armband one in tribute
00:18:57
to your nana so like what do you remember about the game itself do you remember do you remember anything or was
00:19:01
it just like a blur like you're just sort of running on running on fumes yeah I can't even remember what the
00:19:06
score was I'm pretty sure we probably lost because we lost most games that year yeah nothing it just feels like it
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went so fast and I remember being exhausted and most of my memories of that game actually is of
00:19:19
that piece that you watch so yeah it's crazy how you can just black out some
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moments Nick do you remember that piece that I mentioned that's online do you
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remember that from being in the moment or from like watching it online at a later date
00:19:33
um probably watching it online I I remember the whole scenario but I wouldn't remember anything situation or
00:19:41
any of the context of it just yeah completely gone from my memory yeah can you remember if you had a good game or
00:19:47
not did I have a good game no I can't remember honestly nothing yeah yeah isn't that crazy so you're just
00:19:56
sort of running on autopilot muscle memory autopilot and just get through like all
00:20:01
you've got to do is survive and get through it you'll be sweet once you do
00:20:03
yeah such a nice tribute being able to wear the black bands for your nana yeah I was
00:20:08
really grateful too because yeah I was the youngest of the team so well one of the younger ones and
00:20:13
you feel like it brings people together you feel a bit more loved and I also had
00:20:17
to fly up earlier than the team when that happened too so it's different um yeah traveling with a team you're
00:20:24
stuck with everyone for a whole day or a couple of days and then sometimes it's
00:20:27
quite disruptive when people come in and out so really grateful for that yeah whose idea was it was it like the coach
00:20:32
or the captain it's quite a common thing a nipple to wear black armbands and and
00:20:37
tribute to someone so I can't remember whose it was but yeah yeah that's cool
00:20:43
um and you're dead so tell us about Joseph Wilson Joseph Wilson hey um oh jeez what do I talk about my dad
00:20:50
hey I was daddy's little girl and so pretty much whatever I wanted I got yeah
00:20:55
I mentioned so yeah I talk about my this is the difference between my brother and
00:21:01
I my dad would always he loved trade me and he loved going to like car fares so we would he would be like he'd want a
00:21:07
mate to go I said ask one of us like who's gonna who wants to come to coffee
00:21:10
would both say no and then in bribery be like you can get hot chocolates and hot
00:21:13
chips and so I would always say yes and my brother would never go so I was the one who was easily bribed
00:21:19
um my dad when my parents split my dad to bust like did all the basketball stuff with me my mum did all the nipple
00:21:25
stuff so we lived in like Hillsborough and magnet in so we and I would play out in West Auckland so it would mean a lot
00:21:32
of time and the car was dead just cruising around um when I moved to Wellington and he'd
00:21:39
come and fly to see me in some of my games my favorite food in the world is a steak and egg fry boob from the autoplay
00:21:44
markers like it's just what steak and steak and egg fry bread from the outside
00:21:48
of flea market what's that yeah and the steaks steak and onion is marinated in a plum sauce like it's the
00:21:57
greatest greatest hits a heart attack waiting to happen I've got another funny story about that
00:22:03
but I've never heard a heart attack and funny story in the same sentence I'm
00:22:07
looking forward I actually I actually took one of my former Stars teammates out then and she was like normally
00:22:12
people like this is so good like this is so young she was the first one who said
00:22:15
this is my cholesterol intake for the month let's check from Christchurch and I was
00:22:21
like never I was a gobsmack I was like who says it like this is the best but when we're dead he would
00:22:32
he would fly down to watch some of my games on a Sunday and on a Saturday morning at five o'clock he would go and
00:22:38
buy me like three steak and egg fry Breads and then fly them like bring them down three months worth of cholesterol
00:22:43
three months worth of cholesterol intake and boom that's that that was him so
00:22:49
yeah feeling best feeling was that he never got to see me play live for the ferns but he's got to watch me debut
00:22:57
from home and he was even when I first wore the dress um so and singing the National Anthem so
00:23:03
it takes something of real Pride for me to wear Wilson on the back knowing that he's no longer here yeah
00:23:09
and how old were your parents um they were held were you when your parents broke up I was about 13. I was just
00:23:14
about high schools like January before I started High School yeah what are your Recollections of that what sort of
00:23:19
impact did that have on you well it's interesting because I think I developed a better relationship with my
00:23:24
dad once did um left home and but at the same time I got really good times a day so like I said he was buying
00:23:33
me the hot chocolate the hot chips and the lollies and so everything with Dan was just amazing whereas mum and her
00:23:39
whatever was happening her telling me to tidy up my room I was just not having a
00:23:43
bar of it so he was like the fun dead and someone had to be the discipline yeah he was the fun dead mum was the one
00:23:49
who was really holding down the fort that I learned now but she was just trying to boss me around
00:23:54
dominant and I just did not want to have it about it heads but I mean the way things
00:24:00
panned out with losing your debt especially such a young age it's nice that I I don't know I suppose it's nice
00:24:05
that there was that separation and he he did maybe go the extra mile and above and beyond yeah to to spoil you in a way
00:24:12
yeah definitely leaves you with these good lasting memories yeah definitely yeah so do you remember I was okay so
00:24:18
you yeah there's a photo on Instagram of you and your mum and your dad your first
00:24:22
silver ferns game you are way taller than both of them um where was that that was spark Arena here in Auckland
00:24:31
2016. wow can you what happens when you make the silver fence like did you do you know you're about to be named or is
00:24:37
it a surprise phone call do you know you're sort of in the realm of being named well so yeah when I
00:24:44
what happened is we had a silver fence trial for the squads right after the ANZ championship and so I went and I was
00:24:51
honestly I went trial games three days and I literally was just got off the phone to my mum and I was like I'm ready
00:24:57
for you to pick me up like take me get some KFC but I had it all planned out and then that yeah by my apologies if
00:25:04
any uh nipple nutritionists are listening to this hey I've come a long way I've come a long way all in
00:25:10
moderation I told you I was a big gal when I was at high school um and so we got letters that was the
00:25:17
thing that yeah so I came back out of the shower and there was a letter lying on my bed and it said I had made it and
00:25:22
I had to call Mum and saying I was gouted that I couldn't have some KFC because I was staying in Camp for a bit
00:25:26
longer and then I remember walking out of my room to go and see um Amela around ikanasio actually and at the same time
00:25:34
Catherine latu or Catherine Tui vit walked out and I had made it in over her so it was her position that I had taken
00:25:42
and I remember thinking like she's probably like 30 31. and we were look yeah we were literally the same
00:25:55
position so I remember just walking out and I was so nervous because I was like I've literally just taken This Woman's
00:26:01
spot and at that point I didn't know whether I deserved it either I was like she's amazing and she was
00:26:08
really good about it like she gave me a big hug but yeah it's something that
00:26:11
will stay in the back of my mind awkward AF yeah um but I mean yeah it's a reality of sport though isn't it and
00:26:21
this could be you in five years time literally could be me so like you know you can be so disposable like people can
00:26:28
just flick you away and I think sometimes it's hard being in such a very conservative sport I know I'm very PC
00:26:35
because at times I don't want anything that I say or I do to negatively affect
00:26:41
me or the sport or the organization what do you mean it's a conservative sport
00:26:46
I feel like being these things that we do as netballers or as women that I feel like we get blown up for
00:26:54
and then some of the men like the rugby players like it's just a normal part of
00:26:57
their day can you think of any examples um yeah some of them involved like alcohol like even just a beer and a
00:27:04
changing room poster rugby match is a normal thing but I think that's still sponsored by Stein lager yeah yeah you
00:27:10
know like and there's nothing wrong with that by the way but it was more the fact
00:27:13
that yeah sometimes we can be out at dinner having a few drinks and we get yeah it's different is that right
00:27:22
unbelievable who who's making a big deal about this I've completely I've
00:27:25
completely missed is it or does it a social media thing or is it something in the media
00:27:31
yeah a bit of both right yeah a bit of both I think sometimes like it's it's
00:27:35
definitely something that I've internalized all the time and I'm very cautious about what I do when I'm in
00:27:41
public or just meet anyone's around but yeah I just feel like it's maybe it's
00:27:46
something about nipple in particular or just because we're what do you think
00:27:49
it's like a sexism thing maybe even even if it's even if it's not deliberately sexist maybe it is it's
00:27:55
like a bias maybe I I just this is what I see when I look at look at our rugby men right and sometimes I just feel like
00:28:03
I don't think we could ever do that um so how what does the Silver Fin celebration look like so say you're in
00:28:11
Birmingham for the Commonwealth Games yeah you win a bronze yeah what does that night look like I had a great night
00:28:18
I had a great night yeah a lot of it sometimes I actually can't remember but
00:28:22
I feel like I feel like the um the media will give you you a free pass near the end of a tournament if you've done well
00:28:28
enough yeah like the um the All Blacks won the 2011 Rugby World Cup I was living just around the corner from um
00:28:33
Ali Williams and there was a people still spilling out of his house at you know seven eight nine in the morning the
00:28:37
next day then everyone turned up to the parade in queensford all hung over and I
00:28:41
feel like everyone's fine with that but if it was in the middle of like a blessed Series yeah oh it's about timing
00:28:46
hey like so all about timing but yeah I had a great time in Birmingham like it was my first commonwealth games like
00:28:53
because for us we've only got two Pinnacle events com games and World Cup so I um there's always celebrations at
00:29:00
the end regardless of the result you still want to celebrate the small achievements you have so yeah bronze
00:29:05
wasn't what we went there for but there was still so much on the path that you
00:29:09
need to celebrate so it's yeah we're so humans like we're still normal people
00:29:15
sometimes people put this athletic tag and put us on a pedestal that I personally don't think we should be on
00:29:19
well I mean it's um it's a it's a career that requires like I suppose a lot of
00:29:25
sacrifices in a lot of ways like you know you need to you watch what you eat watch what you drink so I mean yeah you
00:29:30
should be able to cut loose every once in a while it's not like I'm you know
00:29:33
getting on the piss every night and and like normal people have like what Friday
00:29:36
night drinks they don't drinks it's sort of the same just yeah we have to I guess
00:29:42
organize our life around Sports so we're not going to be I'm playing on Sunday
00:29:45
I'm definitely not going to be doing it tomorrow night or tonight you know like
00:29:49
but doesn't mean maybe after Sunday game I can't celebrate with people yeah 100
00:29:53
yeah 100 where's the where's the bronze medal what have you done with that is it
00:29:57
in the draw some place them it's not in the drawer no it'll be on display
00:30:01
somewhere like at your mom's house no I it's in it is in a drawer oh at home I
00:30:08
don't know what to do with it and I've still got all this gear that just sits
00:30:12
in a bag in my wardrobe games kit that's literally just sitting in a bag in a wardrobe and I'm quite
00:30:25
particular with who I give my things to only because I want to give them to people that really appreciate it or like
00:30:31
got a bit of gratitude for it because sometimes I'm not gonna like I've seen
00:30:34
Silver Fern's kit and freaking Save Mart like someone really wanted that stuff so
00:30:39
they chucked it to save my industry do you know whose kid it was and save that yeah I don't know whose kid it was
00:30:48
but I remember there was Van Dyke who Could That Be it was this um storm purpose who works for crowd
00:30:54
goes well this guy it was it had SP on it so we knew whose initials it was whose top it was we just had no clue who
00:31:01
she gave it to and who so yeah someone maybe storm took it to Save Mart yeah maybe she already was really hard up
00:31:07
this week maybe she wanted extra two bucks yeah dude um I don't know if you want to talk about the money side of
00:31:14
things but do you get paid as a silver food yes yeah is the money money good is it okay so our contracts are split
00:31:21
between um our ANZ Premiership team and our silver Fern so for ANZ Premiership if
00:31:27
you're not on Silver ferns you're pretty much on I think the minimum is 23k
00:31:31
that's not that's normal you can't live on that and it's pretty much like a six
00:31:36
to nine month commitment um but for silver Foods because you've got the income of both ANZ which is mostly where
00:31:43
you make your big money and you get the top up of of the silver ferns it's a
00:31:48
full-time gig right um and is it like the All Blacks where like the more I don't know the longer
00:31:54
you've been around or the more famous you are the more well-known you are you
00:31:57
get paid more or is it sort of like a flat rate no it's not a flat rate it's
00:32:00
definitely based on your value so normally if you're in the starting seven you would be up in the higher tiers
00:32:07
um but yes that's pretty much how it goes what is that the high tier band look
00:32:12
like looks like 100 over 100k if you combine it yes yeah right yeah if you combine
00:32:18
both salaries it definitely is yep but I don't know it's not great money hey I
00:32:24
mean it's it's like it's it's nothing to score fat but you you know at the end of
00:32:28
this career at 30 35 whatever it happens to be then you're going to start something else yeah yeah you have to
00:32:34
have a backup plan or you could be injured and no one wants you like it's pretty Cutthroat in terms of sport
00:32:42
um yeah I do get jealous when I see some of our like some of the cricketers what
00:32:45
they earn in the IPL like holy heck I'm in the wrong side tennis you need like an Indian netball
00:32:54
League yeah that's crazy money they get over there right insane it's only for
00:32:58
like a short sentence only like for two or three months too so like please look we just need more people in
00:33:04
like the States and China and India to want to play any balls and then we'll
00:33:08
have an IPL where is where is netball back it's massive here Commonwealth so
00:33:12
Jamaica uh so Australia New Zealand England Jamaica are the top four teams um you see a lot South Africa's in there
00:33:20
you see a lot of uh International imports from Malawi Jamaica South Africa going to the Australian and the um
00:33:27
English league so there's only three professional leagues in the world um but most to be honest you're only
00:33:35
making money in Australia New Zealand like good money yeah and when they when they fly you away for silverfin
00:33:40
tournaments you they fly your business class or no really no it's quite funny
00:33:45
like having um I've had um Tyler Nathan Wong from yes yeah well because NZ are
00:33:50
you so yeah they fly business yeah so I had her on the podcast and Sophie Devine
00:33:53
who has played Cricket for New Zealand for a million years and she talked about the changes she's seen in her time and
00:33:59
it goes from like hand-me-down gear in the to now flying business class places I'm surprised you guys are all tall well
00:34:06
literally four people we're over six foot like we're massive but we have just been told
00:34:13
that for this world World Cup we can get a one-way premium to South Africa but economy back and
00:34:26
because like for a lot of us we do one or one to two big trips a year like going to South Africa and UK like it's
00:34:30
not down the road yeah when you're going to somewhere like Aussie like it's not
00:34:35
that big of a deal yeah three hours that's fine yeah it's fine you're about the same height as me it's
00:34:40
it's economy you know people are going to be like world's smallest violin but
00:34:45
economy's rough when you're over six foot the piston in front of you puts the
00:34:49
seat down and it's basically like on your lap yeah and so we're lucky sometimes we're lucky enough we get exit
00:34:55
rows uh but I don't know for me I can't sleep upright like I need to lie down so it's
00:35:01
really uncomfortable and yeah there definitely are times where my knees are kissing and the poor person in front of
00:35:08
me yeah like they must feel my knees up their butt yeah it's the same other guy
00:35:13
said everyone say do you mind not kicking the seat and I'm like I'm sorry
00:35:16
I I wasn't kicking the seat it was like just moving around it playfield's one of
00:35:20
those like one of those awful massage chairs in the mall I'm like we normally
00:35:23
fight in New Zealand so in New Zealand definitely isn't that bad but I remember
00:35:26
I flew China Southern once for basketball I'm literally hip to hip squeezing into a seat and then like yeah
00:35:33
my feet would just not fit oh yeah that's not a great yeah Southern Charm not a great Airline like if you look
00:35:39
online for the cheapest flights it's always Southern China Airlines yeah never again this is something
00:35:44
um yes so um your back to your mum so so she got the cancer after your dad passed yeah yeah
00:35:52
so when did when did your mum get sick my mum got sick 20 20. um she found out the day we went on to lockdown the first
00:35:59
lockdown so that was really full-on um I had also pretty much until last year I'd been living half the year in
00:36:07
Auckland half year Wellington so it meant that I stayed in Auckland for a lot longer than I was supposed to and
00:36:12
that was hard because it got to a point where like Frick am I gonna lose both my
00:36:15
parents and I'm 20. like what the hell what the hell is that gonna be and then
00:36:20
it's a terrifying Prospect Day yeah like never in the world did I think like Dan
00:36:25
would just literally pretty much drop dead and then a couple years later mum's
00:36:29
really sick so she had a third of her right lung cut out um and it just meant things like like
00:36:37
laughing and coughing and eating and literally everything was a struggle we lived in a four-story house and to get
00:36:45
to like the kitchen or the bathroom or wherever she was she would have to walk up so many stairs and that was a
00:36:50
challenge for her so yeah that was quite that was a big thing four-story house mansion oh it wasn't me changing her
00:36:56
quite a picture here no it was a Victoria's house in Hillsborough it was not what you think could you not just
00:37:01
put mum in the elevator maybe if I carried her up there maybe yeah oh man that's a lot to go through yeah
00:37:09
yeah and so the the treatment and stuff during lockdown like how did that look were you able to like go to go to a
00:37:15
hospital appointments for having treatment like she couldn't have the surgery until pretty much post
00:37:22
lockdown so yeah she didn't have until about three months later um and then she found out like she had
00:37:28
heart issues all these things that started to pop up and I'm like yeah there's also another reason why like I
00:37:35
took pretty much full control of the household I don't think my stepdad really appreciated because I sort of
00:37:41
came in like a hurricane and be like you're doing this and you're doing that
00:37:44
it's just stupid is that your mum's my mum's yeah my mum's partner so they've
00:37:47
been together pretty much since I was 15. so yeah I came in like a hurricane and just took control yeah oh good for
00:37:54
you well someone has to right someone has to I'm a control like there are parts of I'm a control freak too so yeah
00:38:00
if it's not my way sometimes it's definitely the highway and um your stepdad is he a good guy you
00:38:06
like him yeah I've known my stepdad All My Life um they they used to go to Teachers
00:38:12
College together back in the 80s so he's always I call him Uncle Raj because in
00:38:17
brown families you always call me run Auntie and Uncle even if they're you're
00:38:20
not related so I love it yeah Uncle Roger's been around forever um so it's yeah not just a friend but
00:38:26
yeah now right do you always have an eye on your mum even when she was married he's got like he's got kids and stuff
00:38:39
too so he's definitely only got all lives for my mum now your dad never made
00:38:43
things like oh yeah bloody uncle Rod he's been waiting for this I'm picture
00:38:47
you he did it just never came out and what was your mum and Dad's like relationship like after they broke up
00:38:52
were they still all right was it quite sort of amicable and yeah definitely definitely my brother and I were at the
00:38:59
core of like co-parenting and making everything like was was going on all right I guess
00:39:06
um financially my mum really took the helm and she would save it was crazy the amount of money that I would cost like
00:39:13
one year'd be 30k I think she would be 35k 40K 45 for sports exchanges yeah I
00:39:20
was playing in pretty much six different netball teams I was playing in probably
00:39:25
about four or five different basketball teams I was doing Athletics like I wasn't bad thrower like I was just doing
00:39:31
everything so it added up like nipple shoes are like 300 bucks socks like everything fees basketball in particular
00:39:39
was expensive a trip to Aussie was like Seven Grand did you did you appreciate that at the
00:39:44
time was it only like Looking Back Now from the lens of like a woman in her mid-20s that you're like [ __ ] that was a
00:39:49
lot mum and dad did I never I knew it was going on but I never really resonated with me and it's not until I'm
00:39:55
an adult now and earning my own money I'm like [ __ ] the amount like Mum would
00:40:00
have to save and pretty much it was just mum my dad wasn't in the position to be
00:40:05
able to help so I don't know how she did it and she hated fundraising because she
00:40:09
would always be the same people giving and she didn't want to continue to give
00:40:13
money out of yeah our whanau friends so my mum's incredible we I guess we're so
00:40:19
similar when I was younger we clashed a lot but now as an adult like we're on
00:40:24
the phone all the time like every day pretty much I admire the investment that both my parents have made of me like
00:40:30
lucky I bloody made it think about 250 300 Grand wasted if I didn't actually give it a good
00:40:38
crack well there's I think there's nothing whisper like anybody um then not not Reaching Your Potential
00:40:44
whatever that may be maybe it's netball or sport maybe it's not but um yeah
00:40:47
they've made that investment in you but you've sort of met them halfway I guess
00:40:50
by trying your [ __ ] hardness yeah like thank God yeah I'm too determined I'm very driven I'm very ambitious some
00:40:58
says I can't do something I'll be like I'll just show you like is that what is
00:41:02
that like a superpower video do you think um like it's got you to where you are
00:41:07
yeah yeah part of it the first it's to being developed so the first part of it
00:41:13
I just knew I had raw Talon and I was naturally good at sport could pass and catch Ball but this time I'm it's it's
00:41:21
sometimes it's my profile it's my sport that gets me in the door but it's
00:41:25
actually me that opens the door yeah just walk through yeah but you seem very confident
00:41:30
yes in ways I'm the most secure insecure person you'll probably ever meet what
00:41:36
does that mean um what does it mean I'm very proud of the person that I am some people might
00:41:43
call me arrogant or quite um yeah very aggress yourself or yeah a little bit a little bit but I like to
00:41:52
think that I've got to know who you are I know who I am I would never do anything to hurt or harm anyone and it's
00:41:58
about the people like I'm in a team sport so it's about the collective not
00:42:02
necessarily about my own success but and then you break it down a level and then I've had massive like body
00:42:09
image issues in the past I had this whole Instagram post that blew up that was never meant to be what it ended up
00:42:15
making it I just had these really shitty thoughts on my head and I wanted to get
00:42:18
them out blow and then it blows up and seeing the impact and the response that other
00:42:25
people had like even now everyone asked me about it and they're like have you
00:42:28
come a long way and I'm like yes and no I'm still struggling with it but it's just part of my normal now yeah
00:42:37
yeah let's get into that now so this was some an Instagram post that you put up
00:42:41
in 2021 is this the side-by-side photo so there's um there's you looking um
00:42:46
would you would you say maybe a little bit sick a little bit scary yeah I was self-diagnosed myself and then on the
00:42:52
right View at your I suppose ideal weight yeah it was how yeah it was and during the first lockdown
00:43:00
um a lot of I've always been a big girl and when I first got on the netball system uh I saw a nutritionist so see a
00:43:08
nutritionist and a part of that Journey was that I needed to lose weight and it was all about the scales and so here's
00:43:15
this 15 year old just being told that you got to lose weight that was like quite big for me and each appointment
00:43:20
that I do monthly it was only ever about how much weight I lost it was about nothing else and so there would be times
00:43:27
we had to go to these appointments and I just wouldn't eat the whole day before I
00:43:30
wouldn't drink anything because I was so nervous about what the impact almost
00:43:34
like a boxer trying to trying to get ready for a fight yeah are you all good where are you
00:43:52
having that cholesterol heart attack right now yeah yeah yeah um yeah there's someone else I've had on
00:43:59
the podcast called Zoe McBride who's um she's a rower and she was the same and
00:44:03
she just because they've like wait sit on weight grades for the world and it
00:44:08
ended up just like crushing her and she ended up like pulling out of the Olympics and letting her partner down
00:44:12
like a couple of months um before so she not only sacrificed her own Olympic dreams but um you know
00:44:18
basically cost her her boat mate um an Olympic thing as well but she just got so unhealthy and obsessed with the
00:44:24
scales and I think as an athlete a lot of the times like your body is your vehicle like that's your job and I
00:44:32
related my weight so much with Fitness and at the same time fitness targets had just started coming in so I was like
00:44:38
okay if I'm lighter I'm gonna be able to run fast or run further it's just going
00:44:42
to be better for me so I've got so fixated on losing weight as the years went on during lockdown I was weighing
00:44:48
myself before and after every meal like it's sometimes 10 times a day you're
00:44:52
joking no so when you so you'd wake up in the morning and yeah like weigh yourself first thing first thing
00:44:58
after like after I ate everything after I went to the bathroom every time like literally everything I weighed well
00:45:05
what's so um like you look amazing sitting in front of me now what's your
00:45:09
what's your weight now I wouldn't know the scales of the devil fantastic I
00:45:13
haven't hopped on the scales for a long long time and I'm not going to well well
00:45:17
what do you think about in relation to like where you were and I'm probably like five to ten kgs right heavier than
00:45:24
what I was does anyone anyone like nutritionists or any trainers or anything say anything now no I somehow
00:45:31
feel it somehow I just unintentionally changed the game because I started being quite vocal with my issues and then it
00:45:39
meant that people oh it was optional to weigh and then the scales weren't at
00:45:43
trainings because we used to weigh before and after every training to see how much fluid lost okay all right so
00:45:49
this is this is so I was thinking maybe this is something that's in your mind
00:45:52
like it's a problem it's both no but if the scale is there a training then it's
00:45:56
not just in your mind it's a thing yeah it was all about performance so like
00:46:00
yeah every chain and we would wait in and out or four for to see how much flood we lost and how much we had to
00:46:06
replace right okay and so apparently there's all this research now that like
00:46:10
you don't need to use a like you can just look at your P all that sort of stuff but for me back then I PL I've
00:46:16
always placed so much a high value on the scales and the number and oh it was just really like stuffing with my mind
00:46:24
so in the end when I got I got really sick with um with a well eating disorder with a what
00:46:33
is it relative energy deficiency yes Sophie McBride had that and um um who was one of the two raw sisters
00:46:42
Rosa Rosa Flanagan uh she was a runner on an American scholarship she had the same thing yeah it's massive and I
00:46:49
didn't know so it there was physically I could tell because I could see my ribs
00:46:53
like big girl you never see a ribs and then unless you get a lone star unless you go to the Lone Star and then I I
00:47:01
lost my period for about four to five months um physically I just felt like I was on
00:47:05
fire like I was I was heading all these yoyo targets like a PBS and everything and then as
00:47:11
the season started back up I remember I started getting so like absolutely buggered after a first quarter I'm like
00:47:17
why am I tired like I've literally only played one quarter and I'm the fittest
00:47:21
I've ever been and then found out that it was red so yeah it's been a long journey even
00:47:27
now even now I still struggle with it because I am bigger than both of those photos and even then I don't
00:47:34
aesthetically I don't necessarily like what I see and the language that I can
00:47:39
use about myself like now like now but I know in terms of performance I've had
00:47:43
probably the most consistent um season of my career why don't why don't you like what you see what do you
00:47:51
mean because I always are still deep down feel like I'm too big and don't want to
00:47:59
be the size of the first photo where I'm absolutely sick but I just feel like oh
00:48:04
if I lost a couple of kgs I'd I'd look in my head better but I feel like I
00:48:09
could probably lose any amount of and still not be happy I wasn't I still wasn't happy when I was
00:48:15
the latest I've ever been so what's your relationship like with food now just what anything goes pretty
00:48:22
much yeah I'm way I think that's the thing that's changed as I used to be
00:48:26
really restrictive um during lockdown I'd only have one cheat meal and one dessert and then the
00:48:33
next day I'd feel like crap because I had a biscuit like and then I'd say no
00:48:37
way to live your life no and then it just meant that I was doing extra training on my day off because I felt so
00:48:42
guilty because I'm for eating that one cookie oh my God you need to listen to the
00:48:47
episode with Sophie McBride honestly identical stories yeah and what I've learned from my journey and people that
00:48:55
can still stay like I've had parents I've had like little kids as young as like seven come up to me
00:49:03
um it's not just it's an issue that doesn't actually it doesn't discriminate
00:49:07
I've had men come up to me and I have conversations with men all the time about it like everyone is struggling
00:49:14
with something I just happen to have a bit of a profile and talk about it once and it blows up yeah so why um so that
00:49:21
decision to do that post in 2021 on you on your Instagram page um it did blow up in a big way ended up
00:49:28
making um like national news and um you you must have realized it would be naive to think there wasn't a chance
00:49:35
that it was going to happen when you when you shared it I say this is it's a
00:49:40
bit different now but I even in that time I don't think I'm anyone different
00:49:42
to Joe blogs next door yeah I play netball I understand that I play on TV but apart from being in the netball
00:49:49
courts or in the netball environment I don't think I'm anyone different so it
00:49:53
is really it happens to me all the time but it is I'm not uncomfortable but new
00:49:58
when people come and talk to me outside of those environments or they want to talk to me and so I guess at that time
00:50:07
I was just I was just a young woman playing a ball for a living yeah and I wasn't a superstar I had been in the
00:50:14
furnace but I wasn't necessarily like your main yes yeah so why would it blow
00:50:20
up very naive yeah you must have um oh it must have been so um satisfying and validating when the we're just
00:50:27
refreshing to seeing the comments coming because all the comments are wonderful like uh yeah they were awesome Comics I
00:50:33
took it in the fact that I found it quite overwhelming because at that point I felt like yeah there was all these
00:50:41
articles and everyone wanted to talk to me about it and then I had foundations coming and wanting me to be an
00:50:46
ambassador and that's where I was sort of just like pharah I'm struggling I
00:50:50
don't know whether I can be an ambassador when I haven't got through it like I don't want to be a fraud I don't
00:50:55
want to be a hypocrite I don't think I can be a spokesperson right now I can be a spokesperson for my
00:51:01
journey but I don't felt a bit uncomfortable at that point to be an ambassador for a whole like a whole
00:51:06
issue yeah yeah that's interesting isn't it yeah it was lovely but then it made things a little
00:51:16
bit scary at the same time but if if someone else thinks you're fit to be an ambassador then like obviously
00:51:23
you are do you know what I mean as a compliment taking it as a compliment in a way yeah
00:51:29
yeah I think so like I know it's it's your journey but they obviously thought
00:51:33
that's that's going to be relatable and helpful to a whole lot of other people
00:51:36
uh yeah I think my illness have control of it whereas now I feel like I have a bit more control of it and
00:51:46
I'm way more secure in myself that I'd be like hey actually yeah I'll I'll
00:51:52
happily be an ambassador I've been talking working with some like production companies I'm doing eating
00:51:57
disorder series or a little doco and it's now when they first came to me with
00:52:02
it two years ago I couldn't do it but at the moment I'm like actually I know my
00:52:07
story and now I'm okay with um being an ambassador so why not take it with two hands yeah you're you're um
00:52:15
during this um time we had this unhealthy relationship with the scales and food did you ever
00:52:21
um like I don't know if tries the word but like try you know to make yourself
00:52:25
throw up or anything like that no it's believed no yeah no I never never went
00:52:30
that far to be honest yeah I'd just rather feel guilt and just not eat yeah yeah I mean food's never something
00:52:41
you should feel guilty about though I mean then and now is I'll just eat whatever and I know now that I train my
00:52:51
ass off every day of the week I do enough that it's not gonna and within reason like I ate pretty well in
00:52:58
general anyways yeah of course so of course you do like it doesn't matter I'm
00:53:01
not as restrictive as I was so so all this was going on while you while your mum was getting um yeah
00:53:08
and food Diaries I would document everything on my phone and then yeah in between sorting out
00:53:15
pills and making sure she was eating and organizing visitors and having to host people
00:53:21
how did you not crumble at this time so you lost your dad a couple of years prior to this yeah it was the lockdown
00:53:26
whichever everyone went through yeah your mum's sick yeah you're dealing with
00:53:30
this the stress of this and all this guilt and shame surrounded by phone food and body weight like how did you how did
00:53:36
you not crumble don't get me wrong I did crumble by the end of it once everyone
00:53:40
else was okay and we were in a sort of space where I could then I did so you just sort of compartmentalized
00:53:46
compartmentalize things until your mum was better and then you could sort of breathe yeah and like I wear like
00:53:51
everybody you wear a few hats so I was a daughter as a sister I was a uh I wasn't
00:53:56
oh I was a captain I was a netball player I was a partner family member so it just meant that different hats had to
00:54:03
take a step back so at that point in time I was a crap partner because I didn't have time to my partner was in
00:54:09
Wellington like I didn't have time to communicate I had bigger and better things that not better but bigger things
00:54:14
that needed my attention so it just meant that but once I did crumble I needed those people that I neglected and
00:54:22
so I was lucky enough that they still came around yeah so so we're crumbling what did that look
00:54:28
like um struggling to sleep yeah um like yeah pretty very very emotional crying all the time
00:54:42
um lack of motivation and training um just being a right [ __ ] to be honest to be around like I would have
00:54:50
been the most horrible person like I'd show up to training but I just wasn't
00:54:52
there and I was probably rude and over tired and you know a combination of things probably just wanting avoiding
00:54:59
everybody in anything um yeah how's he mental health now are you in a good space I'm I'm living my best
00:55:06
life thank God what does that mean I've seen it on Instagram and it usually involves
00:55:11
um like hammocks hammocks hammocks and a holiday out coconuts and palm trees I would love to be sipping on a cocktail
00:55:19
in a hammock somewhere warm right now um well my teammate nipples going really well so really happy with that with the
00:55:29
World Cup on the rise hopefully that comes in um my personal life I just feel like I'm
00:55:34
really secure and and everything that's going on there and and my family are
00:55:38
happy so yeah just just living my best life yeah you you came over with your um your
00:55:45
partner today he's um sitting in the room with us hey um how did you guys meet how did we meet
00:55:51
did you want to talk about him or you want to save this for women's day wow well I've been um blindsided a food he's
00:55:58
just it's quite interesting he is the topic here's the flavor of the month
00:56:01
everyone loves him my whole family love him um I was doing this netball interview
00:56:07
with on a netball show and the whole interview was about him so we um yeah now I'm turning the podcast around so
00:56:16
the podcast is about him yeah everything's about him I like to say his family are in love with me so hopefully
00:56:23
when it's in his world they talk about me but um how do we meet um we met he actually slided my DMs on
00:56:31
Instagram he did he did apparently a couple years ago so DM's like how does that so your friends on Instagram first
00:56:40
first and foremost does he does he um Chip Away by liking a few posts or commenting on posts well
00:56:46
um yeah I've got a um public profile so he must there's even a bigger how many
00:56:52
followers have you got you got a lot of followers right ten thousand yeah about 10K so yeah I didn't know who I didn't
00:56:57
know who he was when he first came around and then I saw this random profile like keep liking my story photos
00:57:03
I'm like what's this about he's playing the long game he's playing along he's
00:57:08
playing the long game it's quite funny we've had this conversation about how
00:57:11
it's had and all the time um and then I was having a great night out any liked a photo that I put up and I
00:57:23
was like you know what let's see I followed him back and then a conversation just started and pretty
00:57:30
much who wrote the first comment he did yeah can you remember what it was hey up
00:57:35
to no and him I don't think it was that bad I don't think it was that cheesy but
00:57:40
yeah definitely I'd have to scroll back to think about it but apparently apparently I had someone catfished me on
00:57:47
Tinder years ago and apparently we matched on Tinder a couple of years ago so that's sort of like how it started
00:57:52
well what do you mean you got how did you get catfished someone took really old like photos of me off my Instagram
00:58:00
changed the name so like they were literally acting like it was Maya I got sent the screenshot from um from a
00:58:07
friend wow a couple of years ago and then I don't know how he started following me again but I think like a
00:58:12
mutual friend I was working with the day before and then saw him the next day and
00:58:16
they started talking about me sure this isn't just an elaborate story that you
00:58:19
told your partner at the time when he found out you're on Tinder wow what did you like tonight
00:58:27
babe it's not me it's not me it's not you it's me it's a Liam lonigan um son
00:58:33
of Dean rodigan who's been on the the podcast yes he is the mystery man that
00:58:38
just just like a bad smell he just never goes away he's just he's holding my hand
00:58:43
here today yeah make sure I don't stuff up Emma his dad uh Dean has been on the
00:58:49
podcast and um one of the boxes they uh they work with um Maya Motu she's been
00:58:53
on the um Miyamoto she's been on the podcast as well she is actually she's my woman
00:58:59
crush she is one of the most incredible people I've ever met in my life and Liam
00:59:04
and I have a little um I know a little gag because he spends so much time with him us so I've decided
00:59:11
I'm the mistress now because me is just the most incredible person in the world
00:59:15
and he gets to spend time with her by being her promoter yeah the um the podcast that we did like it's a it's a
00:59:20
good dose of perspective like you've been through [ __ ] over the last few years the body image staff your dad
00:59:26
passing away your mum has explained nothing on her yeah and you can you compare it to that to her and she's so
00:59:31
bubbly and happy and positive she is yeah she is one of the most incredible people I've met I keep claiming that
00:59:38
we're related because we're from the same place in the hook younger now so
00:59:40
she's going to be my cousin or my auntie um but yeah it's it's really nice being
00:59:46
um you're someone who works in a sporting world so gets athletes yeah and you know played sport all his life and
00:59:52
has been around that so yeah and your potential future father-in-law have you had much to do with him my potential
00:59:58
future father-in-law yeah we've been around the blocks it seems like it's
01:00:02
always a boxing event though so I'm going into into their field but yeah it's quite nice
01:00:08
um Liam actually gets phone calls every morning at 7 30 from his dad to make sure he's awake so it's nice I can I can
01:00:15
mimic the whole conversation every morning oh yes every morning so yeah it's quite it's how long is that like a
01:00:23
40 second vocal 30 seconds pretty much like hey man just checking your app like it's something that's like goes on about
01:00:29
that he's getting really annoyed at me right now that I'm safe but it's I think it's most beautiful
01:00:35
because like these are two like two men a father and son relationship they have it's pretty incredible so
01:00:43
um I think it's quite cute how they are and to see that the love and the admiration of each other and that they
01:00:48
work together because I don't think I could ever work with my family so I've
01:00:52
got so much respect that they can work together oh yeah no Dean and Liam lonigan they've got a fantastic working
01:00:56
relationship yeah it's a yeah it's a good relationship my dad's still alive
01:01:02
and we're not particularly we're not a particularly close family and uh I see a
01:01:05
relationship like the one I've gotten it's like oh I kind of wish I now you
01:01:08
get people that say their dad's their best mate yeah yeah I kind of wish I had
01:01:11
that it literally is them and even was all like once I came on the scene like the lonigans and the Edwards slams mum
01:01:18
side of the family like they're all netball fans now they all come across like it's quite cute to see that um his
01:01:24
auntie Tracy in particular who's Dean's sister she I respect her opinion so much
01:01:28
she must get nipples she does get him who used to play so I would text him pretty much or call her after every game
01:01:33
to say like what her opinion was on the game so it's quite um cool to see how
01:01:37
like families have merged in a way yeah absolutely and has Dean um um offered your milk
01:01:50
and apparently I've heard that it's changed so it's like ice half milk half
01:01:55
water because Dean does not drink yeah it hasn't drank for years or he ordered that at a restaurant right like
01:02:02
yeah half milk half water it sounds disgusting what about the last family thing we were at a at a like a bar
01:02:08
restaurant I don't think I saw him have milk in his hand but he did have a Coke
01:02:12
huh mixing it up mixing it up Living Dangerously living loving on the hard side of life uh it's good so you're
01:02:18
happy it seems like you're in a good place yeah have you been Have You Been In Love Before what's your previous
01:02:22
longest relationship seven years seven years really from when to when uh 18 to about sort of recently yeah
01:02:31
start of the year what happened there you just drift apart oh I think it was a combination of
01:02:37
things like he was based in Wellington I was based in Auckland and I would shift my life
01:02:42
every six months to move down I loved it down there I loved his family and and I'm really grateful for everything that
01:02:48
I experienced and I learned of him and them but it just got to a point where I don't know I felt like
01:02:58
things weren't necessarily 50 50 and what I would have liked it um and I he just wasn't my person he was
01:03:06
right for that right moment and in that moment in time and everything like he was the person I needed then but just
01:03:13
not the person for me funny you should say that there's um there's a thing I
01:03:16
saw on um the tech talk or Instagram or something the quote goes um people come into your life for a reason a season or
01:03:23
a lifetime yeah yeah so maybe he's a reason in a season definitely so close too so
01:03:32
I feel like I didn't want to disrespect him but it was ready for me and I felt like it
01:03:39
was right and I'm really really happy and and it's yeah that's just how it is did
01:03:46
you break his heart yeah probably probably oh breakups are tough I especially when
01:03:53
you when you spend that long with someone and yeah because it's not not like you just break up with the person
01:03:57
it's the family as well family was a massive part of it like is he Maori he was someone
01:04:04
um I lived in his family household which was quite big and his sisters were two of my best mates we would talk one in
01:04:13
particular we would talk multiple FaceTime multiple times a day um that was yeah that was definitely one
01:04:19
of the harder parts of Letting Go was the family but I had to make the decision that it wasn't
01:04:25
it can't be about the family it has to be about the relationship and it just
01:04:29
wasn't it wasn't what I felt like it wasn't in the direction I felt like I was going in
01:04:36
I feel like this is a lot about your character because it's a lot of people would be like oh the relationship's fine
01:04:40
it's not 100 but it's mostly good and and people a lot of people I think would
01:04:45
probably actually put in myself included would just like play on through with it
01:04:49
keep with it but you you know that something's not a hunter you'll well so
01:04:54
to be honest that's that's what I did for you like if I'm being on if we were
01:04:58
being honest the relationship wasn't good in in parts yeah and so um I had actually pretty much said like
01:05:07
either moving to Auckland or like I just don't want to do long distance I just
01:05:11
don't see that for me and if you don't want to come that's absolutely fine like
01:05:15
I think it's just best so I actually we split two weeks before he was moving to
01:05:21
Auckland yeah um but yeah it's it it's likely needed to stop yeah earlier um there's
01:05:29
definitely Parts where emotionally I was checked out for a long time so that's
01:05:33
probably the hardest thing and maybe one of the reasons why I have been able to move on so much more is because I've
01:05:40
been emotionally checked out for a long time it's good that you can um you can
01:05:45
recognize all the stuff have you have you had therapy over the years or anything have you been to a therapist
01:05:49
I've been to I CSI fortnightly have been for pretty much like five to seven years yeah like a
01:05:56
science psychologist yeah yeah yeah and so a lot actually how many years so since your dad passed was that the sir
01:06:02
Catalyst or well yeah I've been seeing them on and off with sport because you
01:06:05
see them for sports psychology but um the one that I've been working with in particular I've been working for
01:06:10
about four or five years with her and it depends on the session like sometimes I'm talking about leadership and netball
01:06:17
or performance and then other stuff I'm actually talking about relationships and
01:06:21
my family and stuff going on so yeah these are definitely conversations that come up in my apartment is it like a
01:06:27
sports psychologist yeah but what's the difference between a sports psychologist
01:06:30
and like a clinical they're pretty much the same like a lot of sports sites are
01:06:34
clinical sites they just happen to specialize in sports so it was sort of like the best of both worlds for me yeah
01:06:40
you find that how did you find the first time I feel like women are probably better at going to a therapy session
01:06:45
than what men are I put it off for years I only went for the first time like about five years ago it was a big step
01:06:50
for me and then I I realized I was such a dick afterwards it was like why didn't
01:06:53
you do that sooner it was the easiest thing it was actually quite cathartic when I first started seeing about
01:06:59
um this my current one or five years I and sometimes even I hate going now because half the time I walk out crying
01:07:06
or like I and I just hate feeling so emotionally drained but I know if I'm if
01:07:12
there's emotion in it like it's the right thing to talk about and so yeah
01:07:15
there's definitely been times where she'd calls me out on my stuff and I'm
01:07:18
thinking oh I actually thought that was I was doing the right thing but actually
01:07:23
I'm just trying to do things to validate my own damn self so yeah I get called
01:07:26
out more she keeps you honest she keeps me honest she challenges me that it's
01:07:30
not necessarily all about me but am I trying to avoid stuff because I know and like final flight mode I will avoid
01:07:37
things if I'm starting to crash and just not want to talk about it yeah like just put walls up yeah or just
01:07:45
like ignore like if I have a crap game I don't if I have a crap game I won't look
01:07:49
at any stats like I won't look it I won't watch a game because I don't want
01:07:53
to feel like even crappier about myself flip side if I play a great game sometimes I read those bloody keyboard
01:07:59
Warrior comments because they're gassing me up but like that's such a difference
01:08:03
is that I'll start reading this up because I want to be gassed up and then when I play like crap like I avoid it
01:08:09
like the plague yeah well I mean yeah that's the thing I suppose if you're
01:08:13
going to take the good the positive you've got to take the negative as well the best thing is to try and you know
01:08:18
not get not get too up up yourself but not get too down on yourself either find that balance right and I wouldn't say
01:08:23
like I like to think I'm not an arrogant person so I am confident in myself but
01:08:27
yeah sometimes I'm just like I like to think I'll do things with Mana and
01:08:33
dignity and dignity even like the whole breakup I really try to make things like
01:08:38
make sure the other person was okay just because I don't want like I would hate to just be that person that just
01:08:45
ups and goes and is just an [ __ ] yeah I'm gonna do this with kindness and it's
01:08:49
not hard to be kind how's your how's your relationship now any contact or no
01:08:53
no no contact maybe it'll happen in time like seven years that's a long time
01:08:59
um and is it just easier for him at the moment not to have any contact or yeah I
01:09:03
think the biggest part for him has been that I've moved on yeah so I yeah I reckon it's gonna take a while
01:09:11
and and you know what if he doesn't want like if he doesn't want to talk that's
01:09:14
absolutely fine um I think it's been really hard for the family like you go we go talking
01:09:19
multiple times a day being in family chats and all that sort of stuff so for me to sort of just
01:09:23
actually because we had split up on and off before but it was the first time I was like not like I'm actually gone so
01:09:32
yeah I think they're all still really hurting and I know that they'll see I'll
01:09:38
be on the news or nipple will come across and they have to change a channel because it's just too hard for them
01:09:43
really to see me and and that's hard you don't want them you don't want anyone
01:09:48
hurting like that when they find out your current boyfriend is a um a wannabe New Zealand
01:09:55
comedian with very low income prospects I mean there's no die in what is he well
01:10:05
I'm so I'm trying to figure out who's the real comedian in this relationship because I
01:10:10
don't know whether it's him yeah what was it that um that made you guys fall
01:10:14
for each other we've pretty much been Inseparable since we're me really yeah yeah
01:10:20
um isn't it funny how you can just deal with someone and not really not in you
01:10:23
know what they choose to put on social media but then you meet them and you just click I reckon we've done like the
01:10:29
goods beds and the Uglies like pretty much from day one look we were both quite open with how
01:10:37
things were and at that time too I was going through like my ex partner had my car so like there were things that I
01:10:44
remember feeling quite man I've got this new guy who I actually really enjoy
01:10:49
spending time with I feel like this could go somewhere how do I tell him that I'm having to organize like a car and
01:10:57
being stuck in the middle and so I was really grateful for how he treated that situation because it was
01:11:03
with a lot of Grace and being like it's only short term yeah it's a long-term
01:11:07
game oh man I can't imagine the um how difficult to make conversation is and how guilty you felt not that you
01:11:13
should but you just you just you feel like a bad person no both ways like I just felt like I was having these hard
01:11:20
conversations with someone who'd been in my life for seven years and wanting to
01:11:24
treat that with so much kindness at the same time having to tell that whole pretty much a lot of that conversation
01:11:30
to this new person that I've just met and I don't want him to freaking like I
01:11:34
don't want that to scare him off with all your baggage literally I've just
01:11:38
like everyone speaks in and hears us begging him like holy heck are like what other Bankers do you have so yeah I
01:11:45
don't know Jokes Aside you're like you're you're a current partner um he's
01:11:48
a good reasonable guy and he understands that everyone's got to pass and everyone's got baggage well yeah don't
01:11:53
worry he's got he's got his own baggage that's for sure but it's quite
01:11:58
interesting because now he's playing like my manager like he's like I'm Gonna
01:12:01
Get You On Dom's podcast I was like yeah like if Dom needs someone I'm happy to
01:12:05
go on I don't know if I've got much to talk about he's like I'm getting you on
01:12:07
the podcast I was like okay he's he's telling me what to do which for someone
01:12:11
who likes control has been like I've been quite difficult with it in times but I've been quite open like he's very
01:12:18
career driven and he's there's times where I follow him out to his house and
01:12:22
my car and he's like the whole whole car out of and thinking about your career
01:12:25
and how I can help you and oh how good all that sort of and I'm not used to that I'm definitely not used to
01:12:31
it we are very very different like Polar Opposites in so many ways we challenge each other all the time but I think
01:12:36
that's probably like the best part of our relationship is that we Challenge and we like our superpowers our
01:12:41
communication well that's and that's an awesome superpower to have um now that you've been on my podcast
01:12:47
you can break up with them he's gone yeah and um you guys farted in front of each other
01:12:58
he has all the time but I would say I like fartings uh how do I put this you get Awards in my family not about the
01:13:08
noise but about the smell and for some reason since he's come into my life I
01:13:13
was a gaseous like honestly I took pride in there and I just haven't been able to
01:13:17
so it's something about him that's putting me off putting my body off because I actually want to do it to
01:13:22
clear a room I'm really good at clearing rooms so I want to do it for him to see
01:13:25
so he knows what he's coming up for I just haven't been able to so disappointed it's a turning point of the
01:13:31
relationship I reckon when that happens yeah well we've got to the stage we're
01:13:35
like he'll be in the shower and I'll be like sitting on the toilet so we've got
01:13:38
that far it's funny how relationships take their own sort of Life on my like
01:13:43
my previous girlfriend like should go to the toilet with the door open and should
01:13:46
fart in front of me my current girlfriend she'll have a shower and she'll lock the door and you know she's
01:13:50
like very very you know it's just interesting how you have different relationships and different Dynamics
01:13:55
with different people yeah I think what realize like oh well you've seen the best the words
01:14:00
like you've heard it all been there done that there's stuff he knows about me
01:14:05
that like not many people know vice versa so like oh well if you want to run you would have run before I got nothing
01:14:13
else to hide that's but it's nice though if you can be like that completely like
01:14:17
open and vulnerable with someone yeah and we're so and the thing is we're
01:14:20
still very like we're still early on we've only been seeing each other for a
01:14:23
couple months and so it's been really nice that it's been so easy and I don't normally talk about my personal
01:14:31
life so like for me to even say that here and he's in the room like it just shows how much confidence that I have
01:14:36
and what we have have you said I love you to each other he's he told me he loved me before we
01:14:42
actually became on Instagram actual no not on in real life before he actually came a couple like an official couple
01:14:50
really what did you say there's only one there's only one acceptable answer when
01:14:54
someone says I love you so that what I said Thank you I feel like you're not gonna say it if
01:15:03
you don't mean it no because I was sort of in the space Oh I think you made me
01:15:08
look like an [ __ ] you put me in the space where I was like you're gonna tell me you love me before
01:15:14
you ask me out like and I remember when he asked me out I was like you'll do better than that and
01:15:19
then it and it still happened like that I was just like oh well like it is what it is
01:15:24
so but you so you have said it though since then oh yeah yeah yeah he gets sick of how much we say it to each other
01:15:29
so oh that's nice his mother tells me she loves me pretty much every time I see her too so I think I've told him
01:15:36
actually I really love his family I told him I'm leaving him for his papa his
01:15:39
papa is the most incredible man I've ever met oh not his dad his granddad no
01:15:44
his granddad they all did on waiheke no no no no no on his mum's side so his his
01:15:51
Grand is like 92 93 like works every day on their Farm like is hilarious it's way
01:15:58
funnier than his grandson like just the whole part of it I told him I'm leaving
01:16:02
him for his granddad that's so nice hey it's been great meeting you today yeah I haven't um I
01:16:09
mean all I know you're from is seeing you on TV on netball playing netball and
01:16:13
uh the stuff that you've shared on social media but the um the Maya Wilson that's sitting in front of me today it
01:16:17
seems like you're in a really good space mentally physically everything yeah
01:16:20
you're happy this is that I think the happiest you've been in a long time yeah
01:16:24
and a lot of I'm sick of making it about him but a lot of it's to do with the
01:16:28
following the room so like it makes it happier when you're just in a great space yeah but don't I mean I don't want
01:16:34
to take anything away from him but you've got to give yourself some credit as well because it seems like you've
01:16:37
you've been through a lot and you've done done a lot of hard work yeah and I
01:16:41
think it's because I know like I'm actually a really good person I'm very
01:16:43
black and white like I either love you or I hate you but you'll know where you
01:16:46
stand but it in general like everything comes from Love and from care and it's
01:16:52
about everyone else rather than myself I will drag myself through the dirt for other people before I actually do
01:16:58
something for myself yeah what's your mental voice like are you you mostly quite kind to yourself
01:17:05
um you're quite hard on yourself what do you reckon honestly inner voice is quite
01:17:10
is a massive critic but I'm way more vocal now about actually I'm I'm a good
01:17:16
[ __ ] like butcher's probably the change in the security that I feel about myself yeah
01:17:22
remember the most secure and secure person you'll ever meet yeah now I understand what it means yeah yeah how
01:17:29
did you get there I I battle with this a lot like I'm I'm so hard I speak to
01:17:33
myself in ways that I would not accept anyone else speaking to me um how did you turn that around
01:17:39
work you've done or what a lot of it's the work yeah [Music] a lot of it has been in reflection of
01:17:47
this last breakup and knowing that I always knew I was all good on my own but I'm actually all good on my own and
01:17:55
um I actually quite enjoy my own company I care deeply for all the people in my life
01:18:03
that's a lot to be proud of and the netballs just the netball has nothing to
01:18:09
do with the person that I am and what I give to other people and the more that I
01:18:14
verbalize that like I communicate that all the time now when I have bad thoughts I'm very open with my partner
01:18:21
being like this is going on right now for me and I actually might not need you to do anything but I just need to say it
01:18:28
so that it just gets it out of there and I'm not continuing to dig a hole and
01:18:31
build stories internalize stories in my head nice and um professionally the second
01:18:38
half of your second half I guess after your netball career like what are the what are the goals what are the dreams
01:18:43
uh so we have World Cup selection coming up in June for a July World Cup so I'd
01:18:49
love I've never been to a World Cup I've always been a non-traveling reserve so
01:18:52
I'd love to get into the 12 for that um just yeah I want to start developing
01:18:59
my comms background doing a bit of broadcasting and whatever that means or marketing and just yeah preparing for
01:19:09
the transition of post netball because I feel like I've got the contacts and got
01:19:12
the networks I just need to start getting out there and yeah developing that side of things yeah and you're a
01:19:17
great speaker and you've got a great story so I'm sure whatever you I mean
01:19:20
listen whatever you put your mind to I'm sure you'll be able to do it very well
01:19:22
even if it did take you six years to get a comms degree yeah there we go yeah exactly there we go hey it was free
01:19:28
though not many people can say that I'm having you had a lot going on yet nipple going on stuff with your dad all
01:19:35
right hey Maya Wilson thanks so much for coming over and being on the podcast it's been an absolute pleasure oh it's
01:19:40
been my pleasure to be here thank you for having me [Music] foreign [Music]