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From Alcoholic to Running Ultra Marathons in The Sahara & The Arctic - Freddie Bennett

April 24, 2024 / 01:26:58

This episode features Freddy Bennett discussing his journey from a high-powered corporate life in London to a healthier, more fulfilling existence in New Zealand. Key topics include overcoming addiction, personal transformation, and the importance of mindset and resilience.

Freddy shares his past struggles with alcohol and the pivotal moments that led him to change his life. He recounts a harrowing experience in New York City where he faced a life-threatening situation with drug dealers, which served as a wake-up call.

He reflects on the impact of his father's sudden death and how it motivated him to pursue a life without regrets. Freddy emphasizes the need for personal accountability and the importance of making decisions that align with one's true self.

The conversation also touches on Freddy's upcoming challenge, the Ice Ultra, where he will run in extreme conditions, highlighting his commitment to proving that anyone can achieve their goals with the right mindset.

Freddy encourages listeners to embrace their true nature and pursue their passions, regardless of societal expectations or fears of judgment.

TLDR

Freddy Bennett shares his journey from corporate life to personal transformation, overcoming addiction and pursuing a healthier lifestyle in New Zealand.

Episode

1:26:58
00:00:00
[Music] Freddy Bennett welcome to my podcast thank you pleasure to be here I am very
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excited about this one yeah mate I'm I'm so pleased that you made the time to
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come here today um I I was thinking about how we structure this and I think it might be like a podcast of two halves
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so first half we'll get to know a bit about you fry Bennett and your backstory
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and your story and then um second half um just some maybe like sort of tips traps tips tracks pointers hacks that
00:00:53
anyone can use for mindset and resilience and yeah the good stuff like that all the good stuff no worries yeah
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because you according to your website you help people get unstuck unfucked and Unleashed yeah which I love and um and
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and you've done the hard work and you've found the stuff out the hard way so um
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just a quick introduction Who is Freddy Bennett so Freddy Bennett is a guy to quite the opposite of my website used to
00:01:18
be stuck [ __ ] Unleashed is it I would talk about the the the new me and the old me and and the old me lived a very
00:01:26
different life uh you probably guess by now I'm from the UK original Al moved
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out here to New Zealand 3 years ago and um the old me had a very different life I was working in the corporate world in
00:01:38
London uh at the age of 35 I was uh I was a director at a at a big Finance firm I had all the things I was supposed
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to have I had the the Rolex on the wrist the Porsche on the driveway I had the granite in the kitchen I had the ski
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holidays the young family but on the inside life was falling apart I was stressed I wasn't sleeping I was
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massively unfit I was overweight heavy drinking every night all the other uh paraphernalia that we say that goes with
00:02:10
that that heavy drinking lifesty the coke yeah basically yeah what a WR a passage in the UK isn't it yeah it is
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you can't like put on your corn flakes so much in the UK and I was I was very
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much living this lifestyle um partly through my own design partly because I wasn't very happy with my life I wasn't
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really happy with who I was and now I look back I know I was trying to destroy that version of me but but that was me
00:02:34
and that was my life and and that's why I felt stuck I felt stuck because I thought this is what I'm supposed to be
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doing this is as good as it gets as as someone living in the UK probably as uh as a man as well thinking look I was I
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was fitter when I was younger but now now I'm a grownup I've got to do the job
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thing and do the work thing and the beer belly and the poor sleeping and I was just living this life of quiet
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desperation and it was only when I thought what could I really be capable of achieving what what do I actually
00:03:06
want to create with my life that I embarked on this journey as such but as I say five years ago I wasn't the person
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you sees that of that old version of me that um that was living this life that he didn't really want to live what are
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your weigh now cuz you're in good shape and what did you what did you weigh when
00:03:23
you at your um your Peak weight well that's very C to say so I was I'm a bit
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heavier than I should be now so I'm about 79 kilos now at my Peak I was I was about 95 right so it different from
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what I've um from what I've read about you and the research I've done
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um would you say you were an alcoholic I or just a dude with a drinking problem gray area it's a funny one I've
00:03:46
asked myself this question so many I definitely had a drink problem without a doubt I think that's why so many what
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they call Middle Lane drinkers middle class drinkers however you want to label yourself I would tell myself a look you
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know I don't have to drink a bottle of vka to go to work every morning even though I did sometimes have a drink
00:04:04
before I went to work every morning I I told myself you I've got a job I've got
00:04:08
a family I'm not waky up on a park bench I'm just a guy who who likes that All or
00:04:13
Nothing lifestyle that's what we all say I'm all or nothing I don't have an off
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switch I'm the life and soul of the party G no break yeah exactly but the warning signs were there you know I
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would I would be more and more late for work I'd be getting into more trouble at
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work then you think well there was that time when I got chased out of a country uh because I was blind drunk in the
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Middle East where alcohol was illegal there was a time I got thrown off a plane there was the time when uh when I
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was in New York City and I had drug dealers holding a gun to my head and one of them actually pulled the trigger and
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and there was these these moments when you kind of you wake up and I think maybe we've all had these moments maybe
00:04:52
not to such an extreme level you wake up and you think right I'm going to change
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enough is enough this is it going to change and then I would say to myself okay I'm this is it new me it's all
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going to change right after the next project right after the next birthday right after the next Christmas after the
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next pay rise after the next child there would always be something that would cause me to to to kick my my hopes and
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dreams down the road and and kick the real me in the guts so was I an alcoholic probably uh does I have a
00:05:26
drink problem definitely um but it's funny I was very much one of life's
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victims and I always say maybe we'll come on to this I believe our lives are
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a story and you can be you can be the hero in your story or the villain in your story but both the hero and the
00:05:41
villain start out as the victim and that was me I was a victim so I was saying it's my boss's fault it's my client's
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fault it's the economy's fault it's my wife's fault it's my kids's fault it's
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the traffic's fault it's definitely not me definitely not the drinking I was
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willing to point the finger everywhere but at myself it was only when I started to to literally look in the mirror and
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say this is not the way life's supposed to go this is not who I'm supposed to be
00:06:09
that I actually started to make some changes yeah I love that there's um there's a book I've been reading over
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summer um written by some X Navy Seals called Extreme ownership and it's basically yeah yeah yeah yeah and it's
00:06:21
basically all all about that it's just um yeah extreme ownership it's just
00:06:25
owning absolutely [ __ ] everything owning all your [ __ ] um and uh I think a lot of people um kind of get a get a
00:06:33
kick out of being a victim in a way um you know there's there's a lot on having
00:06:36
a victim mentality cuz you get people saying oh poor you and and that can be an adrenaline rush for people but it's
00:06:42
not going to get you very far in life is it I know I I used to love being let's I
00:06:46
loved being a victim being a victim is great fun because you get to complain and let's face it complaining you got a
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choice do I complain about my problems well that's fun do I fix my problems or
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that that means doing things like going running that means having to have honest
00:07:00
conversations that means having a harsh look in the mirror that doesn't sound
00:07:03
very fun complaining is a lot more fun I always used to say uh every problem that
00:07:09
you've had for longer than a few months is because you have become attached to
00:07:13
that problem it's because you have decided to keep that problem so if you've got a money problem it's because
00:07:19
really you decided to keep that problem got a fitness problem it's because you
00:07:22
decided to keep that problem problem relationship problem client problem with a family member any problem that we have
00:07:29
for longer than a few months is because we decided to keep that problem and for me that was a truth that I did not want
00:07:36
to face up to I didn't want to accept that really I was the root cause of my
00:07:41
problems as you said I loved being a victim uh victims we always say as well that um we believe that we're special
00:07:48
and that we're unique so we say I've tried everything I've tried every diet
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I'm just you know being overweight runs in my family it's my metabolism my
00:07:57
metabolism I've got a sweet tooth sweet dudes uh we always say I've tried I've
00:08:02
tried uh I've tried every gym I've tried every exercise routine I've tried every
00:08:06
way to quit drinking I've tried everything but I'm special really we we believe that we're different but we're
00:08:12
not what there's what is the truth is that nothing changes until we decide to
00:08:17
change it has to start with ourselves yeah hey hey you you brought it up before so I want to um pick away at this
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for a little bit the New York incident yes what the [ __ ] yeah that was a scary
00:08:27
one I was I was in New York uh it was it was a stago bachelor party so um not not exactly like a like a
00:08:35
wholesome Spar Retreat that's for sure so so you're trying to get some coke uh
00:08:39
yeah basically and you you didn't you didn't know any dealers so you just went
00:08:43
in in a street or something so this was the way it it went down so it's a very
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great summary of of of my lifestyle time I was in the UK we went to New York for
00:08:51
a weekend for it was like a imagine Like a lowbudget Wolf of Wall Street that was
00:08:56
kind like the lifestyle that I lived thinking that we were these high rollers but with a with a champagne roller with
00:09:01
a with a beer budget and uh we were it was the last day of of the bachel party so I'd been partying for three days
00:09:10
straight um I was all over the place we were been we've been in a nightclub tour
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3:00 in the morning um we were I kind of forgot where I was I thought I was in I
00:09:21
was in England where all the drug dealers are friendly in England and it's like hello sir would you like some drugs
00:09:27
oh thank you very much that would be lovely what do you have um forgetting I was in New York City where you have a a
00:09:32
different standard of drug dealer as such so we were walking down the street and um yeah I think I haven't thought
00:09:40
about this incident for a long time but um you know some guys come up ganed any drugs I was like well yes I would
00:09:46
actually thankly enough at 3 in the morning uh this guy whose eyes were as wide as sources so yes I would and um
00:09:53
long story short um I think during during the uh the the the procurement process should we say I kind have
00:10:00
probably had a bit of a dose of reality that I need to be on a plane home in 5 hours time maybe maybe this isn't the
00:10:07
best idea so I started to kind of back out of the transaction uh I had a I had a friend there as well what was it was
00:10:13
it like um like an an an instinct thing that just something right with people it
00:10:19
was weird like it was almost This Moment of clarity where I was like this this isn't going to go very well uh may I
00:10:25
think it's probably a Moment of clarity as in maybe You' been parting too hard
00:10:29
for the weekend and it's time to literally and metaphorically go home I think there was there were starting two
00:10:34
moments of clarity into my life thinking I mean let's say I wasn't a 22y old I
00:10:39
was 35 I had the family waiting for me at home um yeah I wasn't some some college kid I had responsibilities grown
00:10:47
as me yeah and as it all things in life what what goes up does come down I was probably on a on a very massive Comedown
00:10:54
so I was like you know what thanks but no thanks I'm going to go on my way uh
00:10:59
that the said drug dealer he kind of said well no basically and then to cut a long story short I I I thought that I
00:11:06
was in the UK kind of having a bit of banter a bit of backwards and forwards kind of like just taking the piss
00:11:12
basically uh and then when the guy punched me in the face it became very serious and I used to have this this you
00:11:18
very big blingy uh Rolex at the time and he was like they tried to grab the the watch off my wrist and I was like no no
00:11:25
don't don't take my watch it's my identity my identity that's who on the
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Rolex I'm the Rolex wearing Guy this is me and uh and then so he he hit me again
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and uh and then they they marched me to an ATM to a cash point and then he said um you're going to take out all your
00:11:42
money right now and if you try and run we're going to [ __ ] kill you and I was like right this is serious and then
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um so I kind of I tried again talk my way out of it not the best idea I probably wasn't at my my most coherent
00:11:55
at that stage and then that's when the gun came out and they they they pushed
00:11:59
me against the wall against the ATM forced me down onto my knees shoved the gun I felt the barrel pressing into my
00:12:06
temple and then they uh and then they pulled the trigger and it was that kind of thing where I didn't realize it had
00:12:11
happened until it happened I don't know if if there was a bullet in the gun I
00:12:16
don't know if it jammed I don't know what happened all I know is I heard the
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click and then you kind of I was in this weird kind of fight Orly Instinct and it
00:12:24
wasn't until afterward I thought [ __ ] they've just pulled a trigger on the gun
00:12:29
and um and then here's the part that that's half half funny and half stupid
00:12:33
so they pick me up again and then they said right your money's coming out now
00:12:38
and uh I got the card out put it to the machine and then in the the the bravest and the most stupid thing I've done in
00:12:45
my life I actually did the whole what's that over there and they looked and I
00:12:52
ran and you talk about a running podcast I have never run so fast after them saying if you run we will kill you I ran
00:13:02
and um my hotel was only probably a couple of blocks away I have never I ran across roads I didn't even look for
00:13:09
traffic I just sprinted I literally ran running for your life for my life yeah and I um I threw myself through the
00:13:16
through the hotel doors and I remember there there's no uh there's no alpha
00:13:20
male here there's no machismo I ran through the hotel door going like help me help me help me ah they're trying to
00:13:26
get me and then they um and then they called the police the that the NYPD turned up and again when you've been
00:13:32
partying all sorts of ways for three days having a conversation with two police officers uh wasn't wasn't the
00:13:38
best thing to have and then um but bless the NYPD turned up and in a very New York way I'll try I'm sorry for the
00:13:45
accent then they were like sir have you been shot and I was like no they were like okay sir have you been stabbed I
00:13:51
was like No And they were like so what and well they were really mean and they pulled a gun and they were like well
00:13:56
this is they were like Welcome to New York off go go to bed and then obviously didn't go to bed and then got up the
00:14:02
next you a few hours later uh not really sleeping got on a plane home and the funny part at the end of the story is um
00:14:11
is I got home obviously you know feeling very hung over very tired very sorry for
00:14:16
myself having that whole kind of maybe I should really have a look in the mirror
00:14:20
and and change my life unpacking my suitcase unpacking my shirts and everything and I pulled out a bag of
00:14:27
cocaine and I was like now I know why he was so angry at me because I stole his drugs after all and I was like oh
00:14:33
actually I really understand what he was that's why he was so annoyed with me I
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didn't realize he'd given me theug I was iel I felt guilty I was like oh I was like oh I bet
00:14:43
he's going to get into trouble with his boss cuz I took his drugs I didn't pay
00:14:46
him and um and yeah that was that was just one one of the stories and but the funny thing is and I said I laugh about
00:14:54
it but it was it was deadly serious um that's when I kind of I remember sat there amongst all my clothes on the
00:15:00
floor thinking well Freddy you know you you're a family man you're you've you've
00:15:05
you know you're 30 now you've got this career maybe maybe here's a warning sign
00:15:11
that you you should maybe change your life but I didn't and that that wasn't
00:15:16
even the The Rock Bottom that was a warning sign and I said to myself as we all do after a heavy weekend no more you
00:15:24
know I'm not going to do this but within a week's time I was back in the bars I I
00:15:29
made myself all the promises that we tend to make ourselves around uh you know I'll I won't drink Spirits I'll
00:15:35
just have a couple I'll drink at weekends I'll start running and uh I would start running for a while funnily
00:15:42
enough because then I I would have earned a beer at the end of it uh so I literally started running to justify my
00:15:49
drinking um all these signs were there until say I finally hit that Rock Bottom it's it's hard isn't it it's um for
00:15:56
anyone that um has had that moment where you sort of reassess your relationship with alcohol um there there's always a
00:16:03
lot of false starts but you only need to get it right once that is one of my favorite phrases definitely yeah but
00:16:09
it's it's hard isn't it because every time you you say you're going to do
00:16:11
something and then don't your self-esteem drops a little bit you feel like you've let yourself down you feel
00:16:16
like a loser or a failure definitely but I think trying and failing is better than not trying at all well this is what
00:16:22
I say and you I'm I'm a proud failure I've I have tried and failed a thousand
00:16:27
times I failed to to change my drinking habits I failed to start my running habits I failed in relationships I
00:16:34
failed in diets I failed thousands and thousands of times but as you say what I firmly believe is you only need to get
00:16:41
it right once then then you win then Life Changes forever yeah so you get back from New York
00:16:49
um by the way I'm alarmed you didn't stop then um but do you tell your wife
00:16:55
straight away do you walk in the door and like like burst into tears do you feel guilt or sh what what are you
00:16:59
feeling at that point I felt guilt I felt shame um was I totally honest no um the reason being I didn't really want to
00:17:08
ask for help because I we always talk about a journey I'd been on a mental health journey in the past and the funny
00:17:14
thing is and I always talk about the the real version of the story and the Hollywood version of the story we all
00:17:20
know the Hollywood version PE someone and I say in many cases men but but obviously for for both sexes but but I
00:17:27
know for men they always say you know suicide is the biggest killer for men under 45 we are Our Own Worst Enemy
00:17:33
literally and metaphorically so I struggled with my mental health and I did all the things I was supposed to do
00:17:40
I put my hand up I asked for help I quit drinking I got the therapy I read the I
00:17:45
read the books by Robins I had the podcasts by Goggins I tried to feel the fear and do it anyway I even practiced
00:17:51
the subtle art and not giving a [ __ ] but it didn't work and that's the hard thing
00:17:57
in my head I was thinking I've I've done all the right things I've done the man
00:18:00
thing I've done the difficult thing I've asked for help but I still didn't feel
00:18:04
fixed as such you know again maybe it's a male thing but I think in my brain
00:18:08
like a like a like a car um the car's not working you take it into the into the auto shop into the garage they have
00:18:15
a Little Tink around and then it's working again I thought hang on it should be the same in my brain I've Li
00:18:20
I've cried the tears lay on the couch got the therapy why aren't I fixed now
00:18:25
and that's why I came home from New York and I kind of I it wasn't to my wife it
00:18:29
was to my friends my family uh to everyone I was like yeah you know heavy weekend good fun and then you I put the
00:18:36
mask on and I believe that we all wear wear the mask we we believe that that we should be this person who people expect
00:18:44
us to be and this is one of the the big discoveries for me it was I thought to be a quote unquote success to be
00:18:51
confident to be resilient I couldn't have any weaknesses I had to have this mask on all the time that yeah I have
00:18:59
everything under control I'm fit I'm healthy I'm successful I'm sociable I'm
00:19:04
the life and soul of the party all these things but it really meant that I was like a photocopy of a photocopy of
00:19:09
someone who I didn't really want to be and because I had this pressure to to to
00:19:15
conform to to maintain this this mask this facade I felt I couldn't tell anyone what was really going on because
00:19:22
really um I didn't have that that confidence and you talked about you keeping promises we make to ourselves
00:19:28
it's funny the the word um confidence comes from I think French that derived
00:19:33
from Latin and it's it's con fider con means intense federe means trust so the
00:19:40
um the the meaning of the word means intense trust so we do not have confidence because we do not trust
00:19:46
ourselves we do not trust ourselves because we keep breaking the promises that we make to ourselves so every time
00:19:53
we say I'm going to quit drinking and we don't we break a promise every time we
00:19:57
say I'm going to go for a run to tomorrow morning the alarm goes off at 5:00 a.m. and think oh no way we break a
00:20:02
promise we make to ourselves and then we say well why aren't I confident that's
00:20:06
why when we start keeping the promises we make that's when our confidence grows
00:20:10
but at that stage I was breaking promises to everyone especially myself and that's why I had no
00:20:17
confidence you you were still quite high functioning though I like you were um you were getting shut done I was getting
00:20:24
[ __ ] done even well I thought I was doing [ __ ] better I thought the more I screwed up my life the better I was
00:20:30
before me and partly this was uh again a lie that I told myself because I said to
00:20:36
to work a to work a high power job it's very stressful I need alcohol need to
00:20:40
let off some steam yeah I need I need alcohol to let off some steam to to to work to entertain clients to to perform
00:20:48
at my best people won't want me around in the bar I loved it alcohol is is is
00:20:53
derived of this demon demonic poison I would be lying if I I didn't love it I
00:20:59
walk into a bar have everyone go yay Freddy's here I really got a high off that um it made me feel good it made me
00:21:07
feel wanted we all I believe we all want to live a life of meaning we all want to
00:21:11
feel like we belong we all want to feel like we can have the power to make things happen and alcohol gave me that
00:21:18
so yeah I that's what I told myself I I thought maybe I should quit my drinking
00:21:22
habits I thought but you've got a Porsche on the driveway things life can't be that bad I was like maybe I
00:21:27
should do some exercise but you you were promoted last year you've got you've got
00:21:32
a marriage of some description you have children who don't always hate you uh
00:21:37
and it's always funny we we we always have a way of convincing ourselves and I
00:21:41
believe that's because our brains um ironically and and quite paradoxically want to keep us safe I I believe as as
00:21:49
humans uh from from Evolution we're designed to to sit around and seek pleasure and and sitting around drinking
00:21:56
so my brain again was saying to me you have a choice you can choose discomfort which is doing something difficult hard
00:22:03
like quitting drinking or you can choose Comfort tell yourself a story tell yourself you get to quit next year tell
00:22:09
yourself um you're just unwinding that people love this version of you that you
00:22:13
can't you can't let people down by quitting drinking you know what would
00:22:18
they say at the wedding that you're going to next month what they say at your birthday and that be fair that's
00:22:22
what people did say to me they said oh where is how [ __ ] it was I had a nickname for myself
00:22:29
Funtime Freddy and they'd be like oh where where's Funtime Freddy where's
00:22:32
Funtime gone it's okay here he is Tada um but it's very much like that life of
00:22:38
a clown where um in the spotlight I enjoyed being this this drunken Entertainer but when I was off the stage
00:22:46
that's when the darkness and the sadness came in do you miss it at all what do you
00:22:51
what do you miss about it I I miss a lot about it I something about the kimar like I don't like doing shots of tequila
00:22:59
or Fireball or Jager myep but I do love the camaraderie of you know clinking the
00:23:06
glasses and then pulling faces afterwards and yeah I missed the camaraderie I miss I missed the buildup
00:23:12
kind of like and we had this a lot over Christmas you know the the the the trip to the Bottle Shop the the what's it
00:23:19
going to be what what wine am I going to get are we going to get J or vodka May let's get both and uh you know all that
00:23:26
almost that that um uh routine the anticipation yeah the anticipation of it uh that's what I miss I I probably miss
00:23:33
everything that happens before 900 p.m. uh you know that that's when times are
00:23:37
fun when it's you know when you're having the laughs when you're making the
00:23:40
memories everything after 900 p.m. I don't miss but um yeah all that yeah that that buzz that you get when when
00:23:48
all your worries have have slowly drifted away um that that is what I I still miss but um but then I think about
00:23:56
everything that comes after 9:00 p.m. and the days after um and that's what I
00:24:01
I really found when I failed to quit so many times because I thought it was a case of will power I thought it was a
00:24:07
case of going cold turkey you know White Knuckle it and um try and beat the demon
00:24:13
as they say beat the demon it doesn't work like that for anything that you're
00:24:16
trying to quit isn't about leaving something it's about going towards something so I wasn't quitting alcohol I
00:24:23
was choosing better sleep uh better running better relationships loving myself more confidence I had to be going
00:24:33
towards something that's why I think I failed so many times I had no I had no
00:24:37
meaning to move towards I had no goal I had no I had no reason as such and and it's strange to say
00:24:44
um my wife my kids my family my job it wasn't strong enough reason and that's
00:24:50
why I see so many people that try and change their life they're trying to do
00:24:54
it for someone else they're trying to do it to impress someone many the changes
00:24:58
we make in our lives it is down to guilt or obligation we're doing it because we
00:25:02
feel guilty or because we feel obliged to please someone else it isn't until
00:25:07
you say no I'm going to do this for me for my goals for my life even though a
00:25:14
lot of people are going to call me selfish that's when you start to actually get on the right path and start
00:25:20
to make things happen yeah I I um watched a podcast with um do you know steo from Jackass yes I do yeah I used
00:25:27
to love Jack and he um he he battled with um drug and alcohol issues for years and he had a
00:25:33
really good point he said um alcoholism and addiction is the only disease that um when when you're cured from it your
00:25:41
life gets gets better because any other disease like cancer you want to get back
00:25:45
to your old self again yeah that's the Benchmark but this is the one thing where your life is going to be better
00:25:50
it's it's a funny one and and I do think steo is an interesting concept here's a
00:25:55
a theory that I've been toying with and playing with for a long time time is
00:25:58
that you you cannot deny your true nature and I know so many people who have gone on a sobriety Journey also
00:26:07
with things like with with food and exercise as well I believe you cannot deny your true nature so I know who I am
00:26:14
I am uh quite quite a dopamine addict I am quite all or nothing I do like doing bold Brave stupid things in the past
00:26:25
when I call this like the New Year's Day syndrome in the past I would wake up and
00:26:29
I'd say right I'm going to be I'm going to have the life of a monk I'm going to
00:26:33
be going to bed at 8:00 every night I'm going to never let a swear word Escape
00:26:37
my I was trying to be someone who I wasn't and I think so many people actually try and when they change their
00:26:43
habits whether it's starting a habit or stop stopping a habit they try and change who they are I think that's like
00:26:50
um trying to build a house on top of an oak tree sitting yourself up for B exactly I think you you cannot deny your
00:26:56
true nature and it's about trying to direct direct that true nature into more
00:27:00
of of a positive path but I think if you are a certain type of person if you have
00:27:05
a certain type of personality if you try and totally kill that old version of you
00:27:09
it's going to come out in certain ways it's like the artist who says uh I'm not
00:27:14
going to be an artist I'm going to go and and get a proper corporate job eventually they will self-sabotage it
00:27:20
because deep down all they want to do is be an artist um that's so I believe if
00:27:24
if we put oursel in life situations if we try and hide who we truly are then we'll find a way to self-sabotage it let
00:27:32
the real version of us through and that's why so many people fall off the wagon because they are trying to change
00:27:37
a habit but they're also trying to kill that version ofs who they really want to
00:27:41
be so what was the last draw was it was it a Vil or was it it's a really funny
00:27:47
one in a way it's quite poetic because you kind of you had the drug dealer and
00:27:51
and the gun thing yeah yeah yeah and I was like for most people by the way most sensible people that would be it yeah
00:27:56
that would be it yeah you call it warning sign definitely but um it was funny that the real robw bottom was a
00:28:02
lot less a lot less Hollywood a lot less glamorous I it was the 8th up to the anniversary of it it was the 8th of
00:28:08
March uh it would have been 2019 uh I believe and um I came to it was a Thursday i r Brickley I came to I
00:28:18
was guess say woke up but game Consciousness is is the right way of saying it uh in a in a strange gray
00:28:25
hotel room in the middle of a gray hotel next to a Gray Highway on a gray rainy UK day I woke up didn't know where I was
00:28:36
I kind of staggered my way to the bathroom kicking away discarded miniature bottles of of Jack Daniels and
00:28:43
empty beer cans just kicking away the Detroit us on my way to the bathroom turned on that harsh bathroom light I
00:28:51
looked in the mirror and I honestly thought there was a stranger in the bathroom I was like who is this guy
00:28:56
looking at me and I realized it was me and I saw uh I saw the the massive beer belly I saw the yellow chipped nicotine
00:29:06
stained teeth the bloodshot eyes the wrinkles and I just had this Epiphany I was like who is this person and then all
00:29:15
of a sudden um it all came flooding to me these questions around who had I always wanted to be when I was a child I
00:29:22
had all these hopes all these dreams I wanted to become this person and looked at myself and I thought I am so far away
00:29:31
from that person and that was the moment when I decided to change I always say if
00:29:35
you want something you've never had before you must do the things you've
00:29:39
never done before and I wanted the health the happiness the confidence the self-belief the meaning in my life and I
00:29:48
thought if I want all these things I've never had before then I need to do what
00:29:52
I've never done before and I was thinking what's the one thing I haven't
00:29:55
done before and then a voice said to me stop drinking that's why I thought right
00:30:00
that's what it has to be and I hadn't mentioned even um you my dad had died 6
00:30:05
months earlier and he died very suddenly and I'd watch I watched him die it was
00:30:10
one of those moments when um I was obviously hung over at work I was kind of doing that The Hungover office thing
00:30:16
and you you you see that work like the heads the heads in the chin and you kind of like try to type with one hand like
00:30:22
that just thinking 5:00 5:00 almost there another another few hours and the rang and and they said look your dad's
00:30:30
in hospital so I had to leave work with nothing but my suit and my laptop bag what what was it uh what with my Dad
00:30:37
yeah so he had some kind of uh bow condition which I think he'd been keeping secret from us whether it was
00:30:42
bow cancer we don't know he wasn't getting any treatment so he knew he was
00:30:46
unwell so he knew he was unwell but he hadn't told anyone and uh he I think he
00:30:51
had a like a serious problem with with his intestines and the doctors basically said look he's he's too unhealthy he was
00:30:57
a heavy Drinker heavy smoker lived a very fast life on his fourth wife by the time he died and um and they said look
00:31:04
he's he's too unhealthy to operate so they I jumped in the car drove 300 miles
00:31:09
the doctor said well nothing we can do time to time to say goodbye and um he didn't know that morning that that day
00:31:16
was to be his last uh and none of us did and I certainly didn't know that was
00:31:21
going to be his last day and that was almost it planted the seeds for everything I do now for what I call the
00:31:27
the new me cuz I think he didn't know he was going to die that morning there would have
00:31:31
been a moment that afternoon when the doctors would have told him and he would have thought oh [ __ ] and then I all I
00:31:39
still to this day wonder what regrets went through his mind what were the things when he that he always wants to
00:31:46
do what were the things when he was saying oh I'm going to do that one day but I haven't got the time I haven't got
00:31:51
the money haven't got the confidence all these things and that's why it planted
00:31:55
the seeds for everything do now isn't about crazy challenges isn't about
00:32:00
Extreme Adventures it's about time and it's about living that life that epic
00:32:06
life where we have a life without regret and then fast forwarding it back six months following to me in that looking
00:32:13
in that bathroom I just thought I am living this life of regret if I died now and let's face I was trying my best to
00:32:21
to make that happen if I died now I would regret so many things and that's why I knew I had to kill that old
00:32:26
version of me and start to to rise like a like Like a Phoenix from the ashtray uh to become the uh the new version of
00:32:35
myself can you remember the last conversation with your dad was he coherent in hospital or was he uh no he
00:32:40
was unconscious in hospital so the last conversation I had with him uh would have been a couple of weeks earlier we
00:32:46
we had a strange relationship he um yeah it wasn't the kind of like father son
00:32:51
watching the rugby at the weekend kind of thing and we we'd speak we gone on
00:32:54
well but we we wouldn't see each other for six months we would speak every couple of months on the phone and then
00:33:00
i' I'd visit him and we' we'd get through about four or five bottles of
00:33:04
wine then we'd be able to have a proper conversation and then I'd see him again
00:33:07
a few months later um but I knew I I knew he I knew he loved me and I knew that he wanted the best for me he just
00:33:15
couldn't really show it himself um but that's what I thought I truly believe
00:33:19
now I believe everything that happens in our life um it's either a lesson or a
00:33:24
blessing or it's both and I truly believe now that when he died I had that choice I was either going to take myself
00:33:31
down a road that was going to follow him very quickly or I had to to make his death mean for something I had to to be
00:33:39
able to create something good out of it and I thought about my own kids and I thought what Dad do I want them to have
00:33:45
the dad who's the the life and soul of the party who's going to be getting more
00:33:49
hung over who's going to be getting heavier who's going to be just making
00:33:53
these excuses that he can't play with them all these things that we know or could I turn into this this kind of this
00:33:59
almost superhuman dad that my kids actually thought was cool still haven't achieved that I wouldn't think they they
00:34:05
cool yet the older they get the how old are they by uh they are 11 and nine now yeah no they're they're approaching that
00:34:11
phase where you're you're going to be the the biggest sck in the play yeah
00:34:14
basically but um but I was like it's all about being who who I want to be and I
00:34:19
always one of my my mantras is it is never too late to become the person who you were always meant to be yeah and
00:34:26
that's what I thought I was I was saying after it was 35 36 part of me was thinking is it too late just accept it
00:34:34
just just let yourself go every guy does like guys in our 30s go into 40s like it's fine like be at the weekend do the
00:34:42
job have the kids like that's the way it's supposed to go that's what Society
00:34:47
wanted me to do that's what my friends wanted me to do because that made them
00:34:50
feel better so to take a different path was so painful and so difficult and so scary but I thought I still have to give
00:34:58
it one shot just to see what I'm truly capable of awesome so that was like 5
00:35:03
years ago it's been coming up five years five years yeah hey just while we were
00:35:07
on you Dad fun fact about him so he he worked um for or with Steve Jobs in the ' 80s yeah definitely so my dad was a
00:35:14
was a creative genius uh his his side of the family was always slightly dodgy so
00:35:19
so his dad my uh you know my my paternal grandfather my family came from Burham he was in horses so he uh he sold horses
00:35:27
is to uh to a group of gentlemen who are today known as the peaky blinders so that's the kind of circles that that my
00:35:33
family moved in yeah my dad in the'80s uh again very good with computers very
00:35:39
creative he uh he invented as he says um the first ability to record sound on computers so um he had this massive like
00:35:48
BBC computer on the kitchen table and he would try and speak into a microphone and then the computer would play play
00:35:55
the the recording back to him and that was like a re moment back in the' 80s uh
00:35:59
so yeah that led him from a number of connections to to go out to to the US next thing I knew we were moving to
00:36:06
America because Dad was working with Steve and um amazing yeah and it was just like Steve and I I think I met him
00:36:12
once and um I I was eight eight years old at the time so um I didn't know it
00:36:17
was like Steve as in Steve Jobs I just thought oh there's a a guy called Steve
00:36:22
we Skies every day yeah exactly and uh with my dad being my dad again he was creative genius very kind of that way of
00:36:30
thinking terrible at business um terrible at relationships so we found ourselves back in the UK 18 months later
00:36:38
no money no house and obviously no jobs and um I always wondered did that lay the foundations for me in terms of
00:36:47
growing up you know everyone says like I'm going to be a I'm going to be an
00:36:50
astronaut I'm going to be a sports star I'm going to be an athlete I'm going to
00:36:54
be a massive business owner all I wanted was stability M that's why I had a chaotic household with my dad's drinking
00:37:01
my parents' relationships all this you going backwards and forwards to America
00:37:06
uh you know one one month we'd have money next month we'd have um the people
00:37:11
the debt collectors knock you on the door and I'd be hiding I'd be answering
00:37:14
the door while my parents hit hi in the sofa and all I wanted was stability and again I so I said to myself I just want
00:37:21
a job where I get well paid where I get a paycheck every month and I can just live what I saw was a normal life um and
00:37:29
it's funny again going back to who we are and our true nature I told myself I
00:37:33
wanted that when I had it because I didn't really truly want it because that
00:37:37
wasn't truly who I was I was doing everything in my power to subconsciously sabotage it and destroy it yeah I've got
00:37:45
a similar Journey he similar similar sort of story I know it's like the more
00:37:49
assets and things I accumulated the more I realized they were the things that I thought were going to make me happy and
00:37:54
they just weren't it's so funny and I uh I was listening to to a recent podcast
00:37:59
they were saying that we all make the mistake of we accumulate the money and the things because we think that will
00:38:04
lead to the lifestyle but the real trick is to live that lifestyle that we truly
00:38:09
want and then work out how to monetize it or then work out how to at least uh create enough money in our life to to
00:38:16
live that fulfilled life yeah um but yeah I look back now I'm not going to lie again there were moments there are
00:38:20
Still Moments especially when I make the mistake of look your LinkedIn which is the worst thing you can do I see all all
00:38:27
my kind of all my old colleagues in the corporate world so and so's managing
00:38:32
director at Goldman Sachs and so and so it's like partner at HSBC and all these
00:38:37
things I kind think ah do I I kind of do I miss that and like they must be the money and the lifestyle but then I know
00:38:45
I wouldn't really be happy and I think you you must only be willing to swap lives with someone if you're willing to
00:38:52
100% swap the life so just saying oh I'd quite like their pay packet isn't enough
00:38:57
would you like the lifestyle the hours where they're living who they're living
00:39:01
with and and that's when I kind of undo a lot of my jealousy because I said I'd
00:39:05
like some of it but would I really life Swap and finally it's been a journey but
00:39:10
being happy with where I am and what I've got I I can't give that up for
00:39:14
anything yeah well so why uh why the decision to move to New Zealand uh in a way it was a long story
00:39:21
way it was a quick decision it um we've always wanted a family adventure and
00:39:25
again this is is very much what I talk about and what I stand for isn't all about ultramarathons and crazy runs it
00:39:31
is living that life without regret and I know that that you someone may want to to try an adventure in a different
00:39:38
country or a new job or a new business or whatever change they want to make in their life and we were it was the UK it
00:39:45
was during covid without getting too political there's like brexit and everything else and and we again we were
00:39:52
living in Liverpool in the UK I'd had the the Porsche that I'd been had so
00:39:57
attached to them being stolen and all these things and all these it's funny how these signs come into your life
00:40:03
saying like maybe it's time to change something uh my my wife is a doctor so
00:40:09
um she she's a children's doctor I'm not a medic but whatever specialism she has
00:40:14
they needed here in New Zealand and then the the job offer came up for a year and
00:40:19
that means we were allowed into the country during co uh we did the miq thing which was two weeks in a hotel
00:40:25
with with the kids would have been a couple of years younger so like nine and six then oh my God but here the thing we
00:40:31
we had never been to New Zealand before and uh so living in the bay plenty which
00:40:35
is is a beautiful part of New Zealand I had to look it up on a map and um it's
00:40:40
crazy looking back now so the middle of Co never been to New Zealand no friends no contacts no network no nothing just
00:40:50
jumping on a plane we landed uh and they they said you're going to a place called
00:40:54
Rotorua for your miq and I was like well where is that is that North isand South
00:40:59
isand no idea and it was literally taking that step into the unknown and that's why I say when we you know
00:41:05
talking about stepping out of your comfort zone doesn't have to mean a crazy ultramarathon or a marathon or it
00:41:12
could be going to live in a different country or or a different hobby or a different crit or whatever it is and I
00:41:18
knew that if I stayed in my comfort zone in the UK I was always going to regret it and it's funny that the people that
00:41:25
we told when we said you know we're going to New Zealand and they everyone says oh I'd love to do that I'd love to
00:41:32
but I can't because of the job because I've got the elderly parent because the
00:41:37
kids are in school there's always a reason there's always a reason why we
00:41:41
can't change and I said yes there's always a reason not to go but that doesn't mean that we can't there's never
00:41:47
going to be a perfect time we have to make it the perfect time to change and that's why I strongly thought at that
00:41:53
moment I could have said okay we'll wait until Co blows over wait till the kids
00:41:58
are a bit older wait till my business is a bit more settle there would always be
00:42:01
a reason to stay but I thought no we have to go now we have to make it happen and uh and we did I haven't been back to
00:42:08
to the UK yet um I don't I never say uh I never say forever but um for now yeah
00:42:14
there's nowh else I'd rather be it has been difficult it has been a challenge
00:42:18
um it does feel a long way away from home sometimes but the thought of of staying in the life where I wasn't happy
00:42:24
I'm always wondering what if um that that that feels like the biggest pain on
00:42:29
Earth to me but you you can't give New Zealand um too much credit for your happiness because it's um that's an
00:42:35
internal thing right so if you're unhappy and you don't change the fundamentals and you move to a different
00:42:39
country you're still going to be miserable you you've had to do the work
00:42:43
and you got to you got to own that uh yeah I I think I I do have to own it really and and it's difficult especially
00:42:48
being British we kind of like self uh self-deprecating and um but I someone said to me once going I with a running
00:42:56
metaphor um they're like Freddy are you running to something or are you running
00:43:00
from something both I Reon yeah probably both and um it's it's funny it's always
00:43:06
a a paradox because because you could say well if happiness is an inside job then I should be able to create my own
00:43:11
happiness wherever I live as you say but then also I think well if I'm in a situation that's making me unhappy
00:43:19
either geographically in a relationship in a job then then surely it's my responsibility again to take ownership
00:43:25
and and leave that situation and that's something I've always wrestled with with the people of my my
00:43:31
wife said to that why can't you just be happy and friends who didn't want me to
00:43:35
leave the UK why can't you be happy where you are I always find that's quite
00:43:40
a get out clause we say to ourselves yeah could be worse suppose I should be thankful suppose I should be grateful
00:43:46
and this is where I had to give myself some harsh truths and and this is where many people say to us oh you're so
00:43:53
selfish you're so narcissistic you oh it's all about you isn't it like you know what [ __ ] yeah it
00:43:58
is about me because ultimately I know I will be like my dad was and there will be a day that's my last I think so many
00:44:06
people they give themselves the get out clause they say oh I'd love to do that
00:44:10
but the kids oh I'd love to do that but um but I'd be letting someone down again
00:44:16
so many times we we fill our days doing things that we don't want to do because
00:44:21
of guilted obligation we fill our calendars with other people's goals and dreams and then we get regretful and
00:44:28
resentful because we haven't followed our own path and that's why that's a lot
00:44:32
of reasons why I drank I know why people uh may turn to to alcohol to drugs to sugar to Netflix to porn to whatever
00:44:40
their Vice of choice is it is because of a deep-seated unhappiness they are not living the life that they want to live
00:44:47
and I think that's why for me it wasn't about once I was on the path to live the
00:44:51
life I wanted then I knew if I want to be on this path then I can't drink anymore that makes it a lot easier than
00:44:58
saying alcohol's bad I can't drink I shouldn't drink I'm a bad person I think
00:45:03
that's that's again an interesting Paradox about change because everywhere
00:45:08
on social media everyone always says change change we need to change our life change our mindset change your habits
00:45:15
all the gurus like to talk about change but I do believe that if we are going through our days saying I need to change
00:45:23
I need to change we're almost implying to ourselves that we're broken we're not
00:45:27
good as we are that we need to be fixed imagine going through every day saying I'm not good enough I need to be fixed I
00:45:33
need to be fixed so I think sometimes maybe we don't need to change maybe we
00:45:37
need to actually embrace who we are in the path that we're on and once we do
00:45:40
that then we can adjust the aspects of our habits our mindset our knowledge to to achieve what we want to achieve yeah
00:45:48
yeah I I I like um doing the best I can and just trying to get a little bit better each day definitely so I suppose
00:45:53
that's that's changing in a way but it's just um yeah being being being a bit kind to yourself
00:45:59
as well something I've struggled with better yeah and I think we we all do that and I the kindness is is a crazy
00:46:06
part and it sounds a bit soft and fluffy self love kindness but um but I think a
00:46:12
lot of it is through acceptance and a lot of what I I did in my past life is because I was extremely harsh on myself
00:46:21
again I I was running from something I I was even after exercise but that wasn't
00:46:25
good enough that wasn't fast enough you should you should be out there you should be up at 5:00 a.m. any any
00:46:31
sentence that starts with you should or I should be doing this that's when I
00:46:35
know I'm not being kind to myself and I always knew that when I was when I was
00:46:42
reaching for a vice and like I say anything around chocolate alcohol porn screens Netflix sugar anything it's
00:46:51
usually because we're either stressed bored or lonely MH we would rather reach
00:46:56
for viice of choice than accepting we're stressed bored or lonely and it's only
00:47:01
when we start to say well maybe it's okay if I'm stressed bored or lonely if
00:47:05
I accept who I am we always think we need to accumulate new things to be worth more we always think I need to be
00:47:12
worth more I need to have the the material things I need to have the the personal bests I need to have the cars
00:47:20
the shiny objects because I am worth more because of deep down I believe that I am worth less I am worthless once you
00:47:27
start to fix the aspect of maybe I'm not as worthless as I thought I was that's
00:47:32
when the viices go away that's when we start to actually live the life we want
00:47:36
rather than chasing the things that we don't really want to impress people who
00:47:40
we don't really like God I'm very guilty of that but it's frustrating because um I I
00:47:47
I'm well aware that happiness needs to be here and now because if it's something you're chasing you never going
00:47:51
to you're never going to find it um but it's yeah you can see it in slogans on
00:47:55
Instagram or whatever but uh um implementing it into your own life is another challenge isn't it oh I know I
00:48:00
call them slogan dispensers on Instagram and and you're totally right um you know
00:48:05
happiness is they call it losery confidence is the same that the more you chase it the uh the faster it moves away
00:48:11
from you like a catch really uh it's so yeah the more you chase it the further
00:48:15
it moves away so I was chasing happiness I was chasing confidence and it was moving further and further away um but I
00:48:22
always slay yeah with the with the slogan dispensers and this almost goes back to when I to fix myself um because
00:48:28
I would read the books I'd listen to the podcasts and my my company they would
00:48:33
get the the dreaded motivational speakers in and I'd be there on the front row with the notebook think oh
00:48:38
this this is it I was always searching for that missing piece of the puzzle I always thought this is the course this
00:48:45
will be the speech this will be the podcast that gives me that missing piece then I'm going to change my life um but
00:48:51
what I really found is that I couldn't relate to these people and and that's
00:48:54
why I I go on my J to prove to people what a stressed depressed unfit overweight mid manager a corporate can
00:49:02
do because I'd be sitting on the front row it is difficult to listen to the billionaire Tony Robbins telling you not
00:49:10
to worry about money and relate to it it is difficult to have uh the Navy SEAL Joo or David gogins saying to me conquer
00:49:19
your mind and I was like yeah but I've got the kids and the mortgage and the
00:49:23
work deadline okay Mr SAS Mr Navy seal but I'm not that I'm just this overweight guy who's uh who's not
00:49:30
enjoying his job right now it is difficult to have some privileged Adventurer telling me how climbing
00:49:37
Everest will solve all of my problems but I can't climb the stairs without getting out of breath so I couldn't
00:49:42
relate to any of these gurus any of these slogan dispensers who were telling me to change my life and and that's why
00:49:49
I thought if I'm going to do this if I'm going to step into who I really am if
00:49:53
I'm going to find this life of meaning then I need to totally through out the
00:49:57
rule book through out the the self-help guides and and try and create my own way
00:50:01
of doing it do do you see the irony that you are sort of that person now you're
00:50:06
you're you're a motivational speaker and you're doing crazy [ __ ] we'll get into
00:50:09
this in a second the ice Ultra so there's going to be people sitting in the audience now that are like you 10
00:50:16
years ago like oh this guy it's crazy I do I do see the iry definitely and what
00:50:20
I I say to myself and and what I say to people and they say oh you know is this okay for you you've you've run the
00:50:25
Sahara Desert I'm like yeah but I'm not an athlete like I I come from this
00:50:30
background where you know I was the slowest kid in my class I I was not athletic I still have asthma I used to
00:50:38
go for a run with a cigarette for to increase my lung capacity uh that's the
00:50:44
kind of athlete that I was um I I don't have this athletic background my my background as I say was a 2-hour train
00:50:51
ride to sit at a desk for 10 hours to do a job I hated and then have a 2our train
00:50:58
ride home and then I would then go for a drink so I had the courage to walk through the front door deal with the
00:51:04
kids for an hour and then drink myself to sleep on the sofa that was my background not an athlete not a Navy
00:51:10
SEAL not some privileged adventurer who grew up cling Mount Everest I'm an everyday guy who just chose to do
00:51:17
extraordinary things and that's why I believe that anyone for me it's the
00:51:21
Arctic or the or the Sahara Desert or anything else but it is the same process whether someone wants to go to the gym
00:51:29
for the first time run a 5K start a business end a relationship move to a different country start a new hobby all
00:51:37
of it involves developing the right knowledge the right mindset the right habits to step out of your comfort zone
00:51:44
and step into who you really are and those lessons can be applied to anyone yeah yeah it's about um chasing good
00:51:50
dopam man isn't it exactly and again and how whatever that is that makes you
00:51:53
happy exactly and again it's about embracing Who You Are so I accepted that this is this is who I am the the problem
00:52:01
turns up is if you accept that you are a an All or Nothing type A sociable life and all the party it's when you start
00:52:09
saying that is a bad person to be I can't be that person I need to be someone else now it's when you start
00:52:15
saying now this is who I am maybe I'm going to start loving who I am and just
00:52:20
focus my energy to more constructive aspects than destructive aspects yeah that's the key part
00:52:27
so we're recording this um in early February 2024 um you're like a week two
00:52:32
weeks away from doing the ice Ultra what's the ice what's the ice Ultra uh
00:52:35
the ice Ultra is uh it's pretty much the world's toughest coldest foot race so
00:52:40
I'm flying from New Zealand 12,000 miles to North Sweden traveling up into the
00:52:45
Arctic Circle and then it's a 250 to 300 km ultramarathon over 5 days towards the
00:52:54
North Pole uh so it's temperatures of minus 50 no idea what that is in Fahrenheit but very very [ __ ] cold
00:53:02
and uh carrying all my own food and Survival equipment on my back running the equivalent of of anywhere between 50
00:53:10
and 65 kilometers a day and uh and try to survive in these conditions not just survive but actually Prevail move
00:53:18
forward and uh complete this race and obviously training for it here in the New Zealand summer has not been ideal
00:53:24
but um but it's all about proof and as I say to me what's important is proving
00:53:29
that we can do the things that we thought we couldn't do and as I say there's so many slogan dispensers out
00:53:34
there you we've all heard the phrases step out of your comfort zone the power
00:53:38
of mindset be more confident and I thought at the start of my journey why not prove to people why not just
00:53:46
actually prove what we are capable of achieving and that's why I'm on this
00:53:51
very very cold very frosty Mission I say minus 50° running across from frozen lakes over wind swep
00:53:59
mountaintops trying to avoid polar bears and wolves and and just seeing what what
00:54:05
I can what this broken down ex-alcoholic corporate worker can can achieve to prove to people that they can achieve
00:54:12
their goals as well I've got so many questions about this race so where do you sleep uh so you sleep in uh in very
00:54:19
basic tents I think they're um they are the traditional uh nomadic people that I
00:54:25
think were were called esos in a different time whatever the addal name is for them now uh they they have tents
00:54:31
made out of of like wolf skin I think so they pitch a couple of those up basically we are and all the competitors
00:54:37
stay in there there's about 30 people in the race uh all the competitors stay in
00:54:41
them together it's a kind of thing you try and light a fire we have to keep the
00:54:45
fire going all night to keep warm so it isn't that race where you you run around
00:54:49
for a bit go to the hotel for a hot shower and a hot chocolate and a nice bed it is living surviving sleeping out
00:54:57
in the coldest place on Earth so you're sleeping in the gear that you're running
00:55:01
pretty much uh yeah so I think the way it's going to work is I'm going to be
00:55:04
running in gear you make a fire taking the gear off to try and get it dry because it's going to be soaking wet
00:55:10
with the the ice and the snow and the sweat get some get some thermals on so I'm going to carry one spare pair of
00:55:16
clothes like the dry kit get that on sleep in that then get up the next morning hopefully the running kit is dry
00:55:23
and uh then then get that on again and free freeze dried meals uh y freeze dried meals all the way so I know
00:55:29
there's some some great kiwi uh freeze dry meal providers and R nutrition baby
00:55:35
well I hear they're the best so uh so yeah to to keep me fueled on the journey
00:55:39
so yeah I'm taking a party pack of those getting the hot water in there uh it's
00:55:44
crazy actually we're told we have to take a minimum of 2,000 calories a day which doesn't sound very much to me so
00:55:49
I'm going to be taking a lot more than that we should be burning about 10,000
00:55:53
calories a day and uh I'm not good when I'm hungry so I'll be taking a few extra
00:55:58
meals um and then just trying to keep going but it's it's a thinking race
00:56:03
that's the uh the challenge and thinking for me is not easy at the best of times
00:56:07
but in this race you think about the food think about your nutrition but your water freezes your gels freeze your
00:56:14
chocolate freezes everything freezes within 90 seconds so I say with with other races that we do you think yeah
00:56:21
I'll have a gel I'll have a a chocolate bar whatever it is if you take peanut
00:56:26
butter it freezes so it's always about thinking what what has the lowest thoring point how do I I had some
00:56:33
interesting ideas of where I could store food to uh to keep it warm uh that probably isn't very hygienic to be
00:56:39
honest Christ so um so yeah it's about it's about trying to again at least no
00:56:44
one will try and steal your snakes yeah exactly it it might not taste very nice better no one would try and St this
00:56:50
tastes like ass and uh yes so saying where where could it be around around that so it's
00:56:57
all about thinking about nutrition race strategy all in this environment where if you stop for 90 seconds you start to
00:57:05
freeze hypothermia comes in frostbite comes in and and that's why I say I think the biggest challenge on this race
00:57:11
physically it's going to be tough but mentally to to keep going and also to actually think about what I'm going to
00:57:18
have when I'm going to have it all the strategy around that it's going to be a
00:57:21
Minefield and what do you wear on your feet uh so it's going to be snowshoes
00:57:25
which I've been trying to get used to so I've got trail running shoes three pairs
00:57:29
of socks and then the snow shoes to strap on when uh when needed and again trying to run in
00:57:35
snowshoes sometimes when you're running across the frozen lakes it's just on Ice
00:57:39
which you hope is is quite thick there's I've been I've been running on thin ice
00:57:43
for many years in my life so hopefully not on this occasion now and then sometime the snow could be a meter deep
00:57:50
that's when the snowshoes come out I knew people that have run the race and um a snowshoes broke uh the strap on the
00:57:58
Snowshoe broke they had to take their gloves off try and fix it they got frostbit and they're out of the race and
00:58:04
that's what I think scares me the most it's that something out of our bit like
00:58:08
life something out of our control can happen that can totally derail us and I can talk about ownership and all these
00:58:16
things that sound very know very deep thinking and Macho and all all this stuff yeah take ownership and extreme
00:58:22
ownership but you always think in life when something tiny happen happens that's out of your control that totally
00:58:28
derails everything how do you react and and that's why I it's one of my rules
00:58:34
for life around how how you react in times of chaos and and that's what I'm
00:58:39
truly interested in because we could all perform when times are good when when life is good when the sun is shining
00:58:46
when you're going for a nice run along the beach and you've you've had your
00:58:50
eight hours sleep and you've got your your mindset podcast on and you're
00:58:54
nicely fueled and you've had your water and everything's fun and cool I know you
00:58:59
can perform on those days but what about the days when you've had no sleep because you're worried about money and
00:59:06
the kids are sick and your boss has shout at you you've had an argument and you mental health feels like it's
00:59:13
falling apart and the strap on your shoe breaks and the traffic lights are red and all this [ __ ] happens in your life
00:59:19
can you still perform on those days now that's what I'm interested in how can
00:59:25
you perform when it feels like everything in your life is turning to chaos I think that's when we can truly
00:59:31
understand who we are and we can really understand what our potential is I always believe that you can your
00:59:37
performance will rise to the level of your problems we only Truly find out who we are we only Truly find out how we are
00:59:46
capable of Performing when we overcome bigger and bigger challenges and and that's I may have a few of those to uh
00:59:52
to put myself through in in the future so uh so it's going to be interesting to
00:59:56
see what happens yeah well it's it's going to be fun it's going to be a lot
00:59:59
of fun it's you must find this as well I'm I'm a little bit older than you but
01:00:03
as you get older you realize you know the the days turn into weeks the weeks turn into months months turn into years
01:00:07
and unless you schedule memorable things like this the years just roll into one don't they it's true and uh I've been
01:00:15
looking at this uh this concept have you heard about the uh the misogi concept no
01:00:20
what is that uh this is so misogi is a a Japanese word which means I've definitely pronounced it wrong um but
01:00:26
but uh the derived from a Japanese process it's called water cleansing so apparently the tradition in Japan is
01:00:33
once a year they go and stand under a cold waterfall and it's like this this
01:00:37
Soul cleansing so it's kind of like pressing control alt delete on um on your mind and uh now how it's evolved is
01:00:44
to everyone to have a a misogi which is a year defining moment so it's doing
01:00:49
something that defines your year so you can look back so for me like this is my misogi I can look back and say 20 24 my
01:00:57
misogi was running across the Arctic again for someone else maybe it's the year they started a podcast maybe it's
01:01:03
the year they started a business maybe it's the year they did a 10K but it's
01:01:08
thinking to yourself what is the one thing that's going to Define my year and
01:01:12
it has to be something that that that scares you that you're not sure that you
01:01:16
can complete because otherwise as you say we kind of drift through life like was someone said to me today oh you know
01:01:22
where did January go and as we get older time does go quicker so it is about I encourage everyone and
01:01:28
part of this is is part of my mission to help people lead an epic life I say unless we can take control of Our Lives
01:01:36
again our calendars get full of other people's goals and dreams we we put other our bosses our colleagues our kids
01:01:42
our family I'm not saying we we have to be totally selfish but unless we take
01:01:46
ownership and say this is going to be the year that I do X and we put it in our calendar then it's not going to
01:01:54
happen so so I encourage every one and my again my my coaching clients to to say let's let's create that that misogi
01:02:00
for you you have your one big year Challenge and there a number of micro Adventures I always talk about having a
01:02:06
Micro adventure every two months which may be a concert it may be a it may be a weekend hike it doesn't have to be exp
01:02:13
expensive but again dizinga a year if you create enough days that are powerful then you have the
01:02:21
powerful weeks and you have powerful months that's when you look back and say
01:02:25
holy [ __ ] 2024 what a year because otherwise we just look back and you think 2022 what happened there think oh
01:02:33
something covid obviously and then and then you look back 2015 what happened there and unless it was a a birth a
01:02:40
marriage death or a divorce we tend to not remember the years and that's why I
01:02:46
kind of get angry and I get angry because I think how how dare we live these lives where we perform less than
01:02:54
what we're capable of doing every every one is capable of doing amazing things
01:02:57
and it doesn't have to be a physical challenge again it could be the business
01:03:01
could be the book of poetry it could be Pottery could be whatever but I get so pissed off when people hold themselves
01:03:07
back from their potential haven't got the time that's a big one haven't got
01:03:10
the confidence haven't got the money if only if only well think let's let's make
01:03:14
it happen because no one deserves to live that life that I lived that life of Qui desperation I think everyone
01:03:21
deserves more than that yeah how's your mental health now uh Prett pretty good
01:03:25
happen up and down I think is the honest answer I I I would I still freak out on a
01:03:31
regular basis I'd like to say I can control it better um even yesterday I think now now this race is coming so
01:03:38
close I kind of joke about it I like oh [ __ ] I guess I got to do it you made that joke when we were first and then um
01:03:46
I was like yeah but but I do have to do it and this is where self-doubt for me is Big impostor syndrome is really big
01:03:54
and I've um I've learned this concept around uh around what we What's called
01:03:58
the partx and uh we all have this partex within ourselves is basically it's Our
01:04:03
Own Worst Enemy it it's Our Own Worst Enemy who is designed to to to screw up
01:04:08
our life it's Newton's third law every every Force has an equal and and opposing force acting upon it so however
01:04:18
much we want to push ourselves forward we have an equal and opposing Force within ourselves trying to pull us back
01:04:25
back and that's what I call my partex that is the part of us that says you can't do that you're too old you're not
01:04:32
good enough that's the part of us the way you look in the mirror uh that says
01:04:36
oh getting a bit old aren't you you're too old to start that business you're
01:04:39
too old to find love you're too old to start the new career you're too old to
01:04:43
walk into a gym and I have that massively again I say looking looking around at my uh my happy friends with
01:04:50
their normal lives and the the great careers I'm like oh Freddy what have you
01:04:54
done um so yeah I still struggle with my mental health a lot and I always find I
01:05:00
try and find a quick win you whether it's a green light whether it's your
01:05:04
toast falling butter side up whether it's something you know a kind word from
01:05:08
a child whether it's great gratitude but it's always thinking that there's a
01:05:12
quick win a quick win because failure especially mental health failures are not final unless unless
01:05:21
your failure is your last failure there's not really a failure I I I strongly believe that our best
01:05:27
opportunities are always ahead of us so this is where I say even if I'm having a
01:05:31
bad day A bad week A bad start to the year the best opportunities are always ahead of me and that's what we always
01:05:39
have to remember I believe the best days are always in the future I love that I know I said at the um the outset that
01:05:45
we're going to do like a podcast of two halves the fruity story and then some um
01:05:49
takeaways for others but I feel like it's been sort of peered through the whole chat it's been really inspiring
01:05:55
mate well thank you um and it's funny like I never I never went out to to to
01:06:01
be an inspirational person and I went out to try and create the best version of myself I think so much of what we try
01:06:08
and achieve in life does come down to ourselves you people in in the business world for example they say why why don't
01:06:15
why don't people trust me more it's because you don't trust yourself why
01:06:18
don't why doesn't my team have more confidence in me it's because you do not
01:06:22
have confidence in yourself why don't people listen to me it's cuz you don't
01:06:27
listen to yourself why don't people love me well then that's maybe because you do
01:06:32
not love yourself and and I truly believe that the the journey that we all have to go on it has to start with
01:06:39
ourselves and we always say how's how's 2024 going to turn out I can see the
01:06:45
future I can I can perfectly predict the future 2024 will be exactly the same as
01:06:51
2023 unless you're willing to change something yeah and and that's what I
01:06:56
found and and again with me and I know I talk about change and do we actually want to change or or is that a good
01:07:01
thing or a bad thing but it's that that willingness to try something new to to
01:07:07
surprise ourselves to embrace ourselves rather than I say being a photocopy of a
01:07:11
photocopy of someone else if we are willing to embrace who we truly want to be who we truly are then um that's when
01:07:20
we start to be on our own true path and that's why I say it's never too late to
01:07:23
become the person who you are always meant to be are you proud of yourself you love yourself
01:07:29
now I asked this question because it's I think there's a lot of parallels with
01:07:33
English in New Zealand um you know sort of call it stoicism call it what you want but um it's a it's a it's a tricky
01:07:39
question for us to answer without seeming I don't know braggy I guess I know and it's that British stiff upper
01:07:45
lip um am I proud of myself I kind of cringingly Say Yes um I'm I'm never
01:07:53
satisfied and there's there's the uh the song from the greatest showman again
01:07:57
show my mat show that's why I'm not an sas Navy SEAL guy I'm like this is me
01:08:02
and the greatest show but it's it's that song of of Never Enough um that I long
01:08:06
is um I can't remember the full word yeah all the stars that you steal from the night sky um all the all the all the
01:08:12
gifts that move by will never be enough and and for me that's the case and my no
01:08:18
one understands this not my wife not my friends not my family um I said why did he just Why did he just stop um
01:08:26
you've you've got the medals you've got the world records you've done the races
01:08:30
the Arctic is that GL the last thing and then are you going to stop and I kind of
01:08:34
think I'm not [ __ ] no absolutely not and I'm like and and and it's weird I don't
01:08:38
say this in this kind like Alpha no don't quit way um I almost say it with a
01:08:43
tinge of sadness because I would part of me would love to stop I would love if I'm totally honest you get the you get
01:08:50
the real truth out of me on this podcast I never usually say this it's like a
01:08:53
therapy session I think if I'm truly honest I I would love to be that person
01:08:59
who who could just be happy who could and that's why maybe I missed the old me
01:09:04
the old me who could just be happy just watching the sport on the couch with a few beers just getting quietly slushed
01:09:11
on a Sunday night I kind of missed that guy sometimes but I know again in my true nature there always has to be
01:09:18
something more maybe and I if I say maybe but I know I think if I stopped then that dark shadow of depression
01:09:26
would come back in then the alcohol be more appealing and that's why I know for
01:09:31
me I can't stop um but say for someone else whether what whether their thing is
01:09:37
writing poetry or baking or being a great parent or knitting or jogging whatever it is I think if you find
01:09:44
something that lights up your soul that doesn't hurt anyone else that makes you
01:09:50
think this is what I love to do this is who I am then why should you ever stop why should you ever quit surely you
01:09:56
shouldn't want to quit who you truly are I love that you mentioned a world record before what's the world record so
01:10:03
yeah the world record was was a funny one I'd like to just sprinkle that in there um the world record came about
01:10:09
after um after I ran across the Sahara Desert I did the the marathon disable the the world's toughest foot race and
01:10:15
yeah in the Sahara it's incredible run yeah that was a it was a crazy run and
01:10:18
um again when I signed up for that that was the start of the journey so I couldn't run a kilometer what I signed
01:10:23
up for that race did that did the crazy run came back and this is a funny tieing
01:10:29
because I thought that was going to be it for me I I'd done the race I it was a
01:10:33
journey as they say I'd had the transformation it was kind of like the the hero's journey had come to an end
01:10:39
I'd done the media I'd written the book uh I'd grown the social media account
01:10:44
and I kind of thought oh hang on I've got a story now that I could dine out on
01:10:48
for the rest of my life and I could tell the tales from the Sahara Desert and then the Depression started to creep
01:10:54
back in the the pizza menu looked more appealing the beer looked more appealing and I could feel the old me coming back
01:11:01
in again that dark shadow of depression and then one day I was talking to my kids and I was doing the whole like kind
01:11:07
of son you proud of me are you proud of your dad run across the Sahara Desert don't you know yeah and they were like
01:11:14
oh god dad I'm so bored of that I'm so bored of you talking about the desert I
01:11:18
was like what what don't you think I'm a great and they were like no Dad I'm so
01:11:22
bored and then they got the the Guinness book of record for Christmas and they said Daddy we want you to break a world
01:11:29
record I was okay and I thought well i' obviously done a bit of running by that
01:11:34
stage I thought let's look at the running world records and they're all really bloody fast like world's fastest
01:11:39
Postman world's fastest cheerleader world's fastest post box like they're
01:11:44
all like sub three hour marathons running marathons dressed at these crazy characters it's it's crazy even the
01:11:50
world's fastest marathon with a like a stroller with a baby it's like a sub
01:11:53
threeyear old Marathon crazy and I I I was good at running but I wasn't that
01:11:57
good at running and then so I thought well yeah can't can't do that can't do
01:12:01
that and then there was this thing around the world's fastest fisherman and then at this stage what does that even
01:12:07
mean it means the fastest marathon dressed as a fisherman and at the time we uh we lived in Liverpool which is by
01:12:14
it's a big Maritime City it's by the docks you know by the ocean my kids were
01:12:19
at that age where they loved fishing and they Lov sharks they loveed the sea and
01:12:23
they were like and we saw this 4 hours 45 minutes was the record and I was I could do that I could you know by then
01:12:32
my marathon time was about I think 4 hours 15 was my PB so I was like I could do this yeah 4:45 4 yeah I could make so
01:12:42
I wrote off uh know you have to write off you have to to apply break work yeah and then I kind of forgot about it and
01:12:49
you the kids were like Daddy break a world record daddy break a world record I was like shut up okay just to keep you
01:12:54
quiet I'll do the world record and then I wrote off forgot about it and then a
01:12:59
few weeks later the email came back and they were like challenge accepted you you know your your world record attempt
01:13:06
is on I like what was this again and I always thought that it was you know fly fishing like you know carry a fishing
01:13:13
rod have the waste coat and the Hat with the feathers in and I was like this this
01:13:17
is quite Pleasant and then they send you the three pages of rules that you have to follow and they meant like Deadliest
01:13:24
Catch fisherman so heavy waterproof jacket heavy s Wester hat heavy waterproof trousers carrying a 3 kilo
01:13:33
fishing box that had to weigh 3 kilos and wearing gum boots wearing we call them Welly boots in the UK the the
01:13:43
rubber gum boot Wellington Boots having to run a marathon in those that's what I
01:13:50
thought [ __ ] this is this is actually going to be tough and there's um good
01:13:55
metaphor for life here cuz I then fast forward I was standing at the start line of the Liverpool Marathon 20,000 lra
01:14:03
clad Runners there then there was me standing there looking like a cross between a serial killer and the world's
01:14:11
shittest male stripper there in this big yellow waterproof outfit with my waterproof B with my fishing uh fishing
01:14:19
box and my gun boots about to run this marathon it's a funny thing having 20,000 people pointing at you laughing
01:14:27
at you shouting at you that you're going to fail and I still had to take that
01:14:31
first step and then another step and then another step I think it's a metaphor for life that sometimes we have
01:14:38
to be prepared to look stupid to go after what we want and we have to be prepared to have people laugh at us
01:14:44
laugh at our goals shout at us tell us we're going to fail and yet we have to
01:14:49
move forward anyway and I took a step and another step and it was horrific my um yeah my my toenails fell off about
01:14:56
halfway around I was like what's this rattling in my boot I was like okay and
01:15:00
then like the sweat was all ping and there's nowhere for the the sweat to evaporate it was all pulling so then if
01:15:06
you ever walked in like those Welly boots those gum boots that are full of water it's like squish squish squish
01:15:11
squish trying to run and the Clock Was ticking and I came around the corner the final straight and I thought this is
01:15:17
going to be close and um and I thought oh no that I went into that tunnel vision and you get the Roaring in your
01:15:24
ears and the vision goes to black and white I thought oh [ __ ] I'm going to
01:15:28
pass out here I'm going to pass out spectacularly inside of the Finish Line I thought I'm going to miss the world
01:15:35
record by a couple of minutes and um and that's why I thought this is this I'd
01:15:39
rather spectacularly fail than then just miss it by a couple of minutes I thought
01:15:43
that's what's going to happen but again I'm going to have to carry on anyway
01:15:47
even though I think I'm going to fail and then just as I was about to pass out
01:15:51
I kind of stopped and I halted and I felt this little thing in my hand I looked out and it was my son's hand in
01:15:58
mine and he jumped over the barrier and he' grabbed onto my hand and he said
01:16:02
Daddy come on you can't stop now and then my other son jumped over and they dragged me over the Finish Line pretty
01:16:08
much and so the pictures in the paper you all see like me kind of about to pass out and my son's running ahead of
01:16:15
me and um and just crossed the finish line and collapsed and and yeah broke the record it was 4:37 I got it in so um
01:16:23
so broke it by a few minutes but it was crazy yes so I can now say I am and I've kept that record now for about
01:16:29
four years so eight billion people on the planet I am the world's fastest fisherman and um and I'm still I still
01:16:35
Carri the scars on my heels from it it totally took the backs off my heels uh it was a horrible ending kind of there
01:16:43
was there was like a family having a nice British picnic at the Finish Line bit like here in ockland you had the
01:16:47
Finish Line at the park family having a nice picnic and I kind of collapsed next
01:16:52
to them lying on my back feet in the air my kids are trying to pull the Welly boot off me trying to pull the gum boot
01:16:58
off me and they're like heave heave and they're like it's not coming Daddy it's
01:17:01
not moving and I yell heave and they pull it and this gum boot flies away and then this mixture of Blood Sweat skin
01:17:11
toenail just goes flies into his family's picnic and um and yeah and I was like but I'm a world record hold
01:17:19
they weren't impressed yeah we uh we we kind of ruined their day but um that's
01:17:23
what happened but um but yeah it's it is about crazy challenges and and I and I
01:17:28
laugh about it and and it's a bit of fun I love to go into schools talk about how
01:17:32
the um how the kid who was the slowest kid in this class became the world's fastest fisherman but I truly believe
01:17:38
that we have to be prepared to get laughed at people people say my goals are crazy I would say someone else's
01:17:44
goals are crazy who cares as long as it matters to you as long as it lights up your soul as long as you don't get to
01:17:51
that day that my dad got to where you look back and think about a life regret and that's what I car care about who
01:17:57
cares if they laugh it's Elon Musk that says first they laugh but then they applaud and and that is that life of
01:18:05
saying be prepared to look stupid be prepared to to be laughed at but nothing is worse than living a life of regret
01:18:11
people laughing at us a short term but that success that achievement those stories live with us forever yeah that's
01:18:18
cool what a y I um I agree with that so much I I had this crippling fear of failure I think for for maybe the first
01:18:24
40 years of my life now I'm really leaning into it because it's like yeah
01:18:28
what's the worst that's going to happen someone's going to laugh at you yeah
01:18:30
well they're a [ __ ] idiot exactly yeah someone whose opinion doesn't really even matter to you why would you
01:18:37
why would you take that on board or stop it from living your best life it's crazy
01:18:41
I see this so much and I still suffer from it a little bit like um you know with with some of the Social Media stuff
01:18:47
that I do in the back of my head I still think my my old boss there in the UK will be there saying oh what what's
01:18:52
what's Freddy up to you know when you going to grow up and get a proper job and these sorts of things um I I think
01:18:59
it's such a crime that we don't do what we want to do we don't live the life we
01:19:02
want to live especially on social media so many people are scared to step out of
01:19:07
that shadow they've created for themselves because they fear judgment they fear people laughing at us and I
01:19:13
think well let them laugh and I I kind of believe I don't think this is 100%
01:19:18
true but the phrase goes that anyone who is doing better than you anyone who is higher up the ladder of su success than
01:19:25
you will never laugh at you people that are below you that will laugh at you and
01:19:30
I I do know some people who kind of yeah like to belittle others but I think they
01:19:34
the opinions of other people do not matter at the end of the day uh it is our life that matters I did an exercise
01:19:42
a few years ago called an introduction from God and that probably mean with with a small G so we don't open that
01:19:49
religious kind of worms but call it writing eulogy if you prefer how would you like people to talk about you how
01:19:55
would you like to be introduced through the Gates of Heaven and that's when I
01:19:59
started to think I actually wrote it out you know write out your own eulogy it's
01:20:03
a really powerful exercise and then technically every decision that you make after that you should be saying is this
01:20:10
decision moving me closer to that life that I want to live to that person who I want to be or is it moving me further
01:20:17
away I am I try and take a hell yes or hell no approach to life and that that saying is if I have a decision to make
01:20:26
if I'm not saying hell yes to this then it has to be a no and that is such an
01:20:31
easy thing to say and such a hard thing to do if I'm not saying hell yes to this
01:20:36
decision then I'm saying no because we all say oh I don't really want to do it
01:20:40
but I said I promised I wouldn't but I'd be letting someone else down but people
01:20:44
would laugh at me but people might not like me anymore so I'm going to have to
01:20:48
go and do it anyway but you've only got so many days you've only got so many
01:20:53
decisions to make in your life so why not start making them for you rather than for someone else yeah time is such
01:20:58
a precious resource isn't it so infinite definely is um is are you familiar with
01:21:03
the phrase to Poppy syndrome is that a big thing in there I am it's it's not a
01:21:06
thing it's a thing but it's not a phrase in the UK but I've heard it a lot being
01:21:10
here definitely that's a massive thing it's like what you were talking about
01:21:13
before you said anyone that's doing better than you or is more successful than you is never going to laugh at you
01:21:18
or mock you it's always it's a tall poppy thing um in the states I think
01:21:21
they call it like crabs in a bucket as well it's like a crab tries to climb out
01:21:24
of the bucket and the other the other the other crabs will try and drag him back down again definitely um but it's
01:21:29
dumb and you can't you can't let it hold you back from living your life no I I
01:21:33
totally agree and I think if I'm totally honest with myself did I start to use
01:21:37
tooy syndrome as an excuse because I I again maybe I talk about the victim and the owner mindset like we said at the
01:21:44
start I believe that it isn't like a binary thing where you say I used to be
01:21:49
a victim and now I'm an owner we can approach any day from a stance of a victim or an owner I could be a victim
01:21:57
this morning when I'm blaming the traffic and say oh the traffic means I'm
01:22:01
late really if I'm an owner I said no I should have actually left home half an
01:22:04
hour earlier and I wouldn't have this problem it's not a traffic's fault it's
01:22:07
my fault but when when we look at things uh Through The Eyes of a victim I could
01:22:13
blame tall poppy syndrome I could blame my old colleagues I could blame my family members who say people in our
01:22:20
family aren't aren't athletic people in our family aren't good marriages people
01:22:25
in our family aren't good at business I can make all those uh all those accusations of blame or I could actually
01:22:32
take ownership and say yes you know what [ __ ] yeah I am a tall Poppy and I'm
01:22:36
going to own this and if other people want to hold me down then they can do that we uh I was listening to to the
01:22:42
concept of ego it's a Ryan holiday ego is the enemy but is it really I think
01:22:48
our ego is actually designed to keep us safe our ego is designed to push us and yes as a as a Brit living in New Zealand
01:22:55
with like that tall poppy double whammy that's an incredibly difficult thing to
01:23:00
say but I believe that when we are at our lowest moments when the relationship's ended when we've been
01:23:05
fired from the job when we've failed in the race when the business has gone under I think we actually need an ego
01:23:13
because it is our ego that has to get us out of bed the next day and say no you're going to pick yourself up and
01:23:19
you're going to try again you're going to go again failure is not fatal failure
01:23:23
does not have to final it is just another step on the journey but to embrace that step to dust ourselves off
01:23:30
to go again that's when we have to deep uh dig deep into our ego and say you
01:23:35
know what I am going to be a tool puppy I am going to own this live kicked my ass yesterday but I can win today and we
01:23:43
say unless our failure is our final failure then it's never truly a failure yeah yeah there's um there's a a saying
01:23:49
that's um popular in New Zealand especially at um schools um we kids get called try
01:23:56
hards so no one wants to ever like try too hard because you don't want to stand
01:24:00
out and I look back now from the perspective of a 51y old man it's the most ludicrous and insane thing ever I
01:24:07
know and it's is crazy I thinking back to to my school and um it's funny I I
01:24:12
live my life in re my my rebellious phase was an adult I was a very well behaved teenager again my life was such
01:24:18
chaos at home um I saw sanctuary in school and um I I didn't have a proof from my parents so I tried to get
01:24:26
approval from my teachers so um I we had these like these like what they call Merit marks at my school so you get 50
01:24:32
Merit marks in a year and you get a certificate and I was like I need this I need this yeah this this achievement to
01:24:39
to maybe feel something inside myself so I could feel like I'm worth something
01:24:43
and I would volunteer to pick up litter uh to pick up rubbish and lunch time in my school that's why I didn't have a
01:24:50
girlfriend till I was 19 cuz I the other kids were playing sport I was just like
01:24:54
chubby kid going around picky up litter so I could get this Merit Mark and uh when when all the cool kids like the
01:25:01
tough bullying kids came up to me as kids tend to do they were like oh you try hard what are you trying to do and
01:25:07
I'd be like oh yeah you know I I got put into detention for fighting so teachers
01:25:12
yeah they're making me do this but really I was trying to be like a good boy I was like if I pick up enough it's
01:25:17
a metaphor for life if I pick up enough [ __ ] then maybe someone will love me um
01:25:22
but yeah there is that that try hard thing I didn't want to be seen as as trying hard um it's difficult isn't it
01:25:28
you think when I believe when we truly steep into who we are things should be difficult but also when you're in your
01:25:33
Zone when you're in your flow I don't believe that we should be feeling like
01:25:38
we should be trying hard it should be feeling like it's natural because that's
01:25:41
what we're that's what we are doing what we were born to do yeah I like that hey
01:25:46
um there's been so many takeaways um I'm inspired I'm sure a lot of other people
01:25:50
are as well best of luck with the um the ice Ultra thank you um and or what's
01:25:54
your Instagram handle there gonna be updates on your there'll be in updates on Instagram it's the Freddy Bennett
01:26:00
that's where you can find me it's a Instagram Facebook uh the website is
01:26:04
Freddy M Bennett but generally yeah you can find me wherever just search for the
01:26:09
Freddy Bennett and uh I always say it isn't me doing this race we're all doing
01:26:14
this race I'm just the guy doing the cold bit that involves the running but anyone who's on a mission anyone who has
01:26:20
a dream anyone who wants to step into that person who they know they can be we're all doing this together and I do
01:26:26
this as I say to prove to anyone that they can create the life they want to create with the right habits the right
01:26:33
mindset the right knowledge anyone can live that life that they know they deserve awesome Freddy benett thanks for
01:26:39
coming on the podcast thank you thanks for having [Music] me oh

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

  • 90
    Most inspiring
  • 85
    Most shocking
  • 85
    Best overall
  • 80
    Most emotional

Episode Highlights

  • Freddy's Transformation Journey
    Freddy Bennett shares his journey from a corporate life to personal freedom, battling addiction along the way.
    “I felt stuck because I thought this is what I’m supposed to be doing.”
    @ 02m 38s
    April 24, 2024
  • The New York Incident
    Freddy recounts a harrowing experience in New York where he faced life-threatening danger.
    “They pulled the trigger and I didn’t realize it until it happened.”
    @ 12m 20s
    April 24, 2024
  • The Mask We Wear
    We all wear a mask to meet others' expectations, but it can lead to losing ourselves.
    “I was like a photocopy of a photocopy of someone who I didn’t really want to be.”
    @ 19m 08s
    April 24, 2024
  • The Moment of Realization
    A moment in a gray hotel room leads to a life-changing epiphany.
    “I looked in the mirror and I honestly thought there was a stranger in the bathroom.”
    @ 28m 51s
    April 24, 2024
  • Journey to Stability
    A chaotic childhood leads to a desire for stability and fulfillment.
    “All I wanted was stability.”
    @ 37m 16s
    April 24, 2024
  • The Decision to Move
    A spontaneous decision to move to New Zealand for a family adventure.
    “We have to make it the perfect time to change.”
    @ 41m 49s
    April 24, 2024
  • Chasing Happiness
    The paradox of seeking happiness and the realization that it must come from within.
    “The more you chase it, the faster it moves away.”
    @ 48m 07s
    April 24, 2024
  • Facing the Ice Ultra
    Preparing for the world's toughest coldest foot race in extreme conditions.
    “It’s a 250 to 300 km ultramarathon over 5 days towards the North Pole.”
    @ 52m 40s
    April 24, 2024
  • Finding Your Misogi
    A misogi is a year-defining challenge that pushes you beyond your comfort zone.
    “What is the one thing that’s going to define my year?”
    @ 01h 01m 08s
    April 24, 2024
  • Embracing Change
    Change is essential for growth, and we must be willing to redefine ourselves.
    “2024 will be exactly the same as 2023 unless you change something.”
    @ 01h 06m 52s
    April 24, 2024
  • World's Fastest Fisherman
    After a grueling marathon in a ridiculous outfit, he breaks the world record.
    “I am the world’s fastest fisherman!”
    @ 01h 16m 33s
    April 24, 2024
  • The Power of Ego
    Discussing how ego can motivate us to rise after failure.
    “Our ego is designed to keep us safe and push us forward.”
    @ 01h 22m 48s
    April 24, 2024

Episode Quotes

  • You can be the hero in your story or the villain in your story.
    From Alcoholic to Running Ultra Marathons in The Sahara & The Arctic - Freddie Bennett
  • You only need to get it right once, then you win.
    From Alcoholic to Running Ultra Marathons in The Sahara & The Arctic - Freddie Bennett
  • I just want a job where I get well paid.
    From Alcoholic to Running Ultra Marathons in The Sahara & The Arctic - Freddie Bennett
  • I’m just an everyday guy who chose to do extraordinary things.
    From Alcoholic to Running Ultra Marathons in The Sahara & The Arctic - Freddie Bennett
  • I believe the best days are always in the future.
    From Alcoholic to Running Ultra Marathons in The Sahara & The Arctic - Freddie Bennett
  • If I’m not saying hell yes to this, then it has to be a no.
    From Alcoholic to Running Ultra Marathons in The Sahara & The Arctic - Freddie Bennett

Key Moments

  • Life-Altering Choices16:44
  • Moment of Realization28:51
  • Life Without Regret32:00
  • Spontaneous Adventure41:49
  • Chasing Happiness48:15
  • Extreme Challenge52:40
  • Survival Strategy55:11
  • First Step1:14:31

Tension Over Time

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