00:00:00
Being in this industry as a performer is akin to being an athlete. There's a certain level of delusion that is
00:00:07
required to think that you have any chance in hell. >> Emmy award, White Lotus. Um, now you've
00:00:12
got a movie out, a new comedy show starting called Bust Up. >> And then I go home and back to
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parenting. It's just like we've just run an Emmy and I'm like wiping butts over here. No one cares.
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>> Yeah. Life goes on. >> And life goes on. >> Goes on. It's fine. >> What do you think has been the hardest
00:00:27
point of your career? It was 2009 and it was the recession. I'm so broke. This is
00:00:33
I finally come to the moment in my life where let's see what crazy [ __ ] I can do
00:00:38
for money. And I I don't think I felt confident enough in my body to be a stripper.
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>> Did you consider it? >> Yeah. I don't know if happiness is a total like destination that you stay in.
00:00:51
I don't believe that. >> How good are you at being like completely authentically yourself? Is it
00:00:55
easier for you to pretend to be other people than to actually be yourself? >> Morgana O'Reilly, positioning the mug
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like a profession. >> It's called Mug Work. >> Welcome to my podcast. >> God, thank you for having me.
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>> I'm so pleased we finally made it happen. I was going back through my DMs. I think I reached out to you maybe uh
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when the White Lotus stuff was first announced. Yeah. >> And you were too busy obviously then.
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>> And um we finally connected a couple of years later. >> Yes, it's worked. It's working. Um, and
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I I feel like um I I don't know from from like an outsers's perspective, it feels like this is peak Morgana
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O'Reilly. Like from a career, does it feel >> feels like you're on a hot streak?
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>> Ah, I know. >> In terms of like name like name recognition and the the volume of work
00:01:40
that's coming out. >> It's so hard to tell from the inside out to be honest. In all honesty, in the
00:01:47
last month or so has sort of felt a bit weird and sad almost like I feel really I feel really aware of the fact now that
00:01:56
I'm almost 20 years into the career post drama school that it's tides on the beach and you know es and flows and I
00:02:04
sort of feel like there is a change from maybe it's just I have been really busy
00:02:11
and it's been quieter and sort of my brain is seeking dopamine, but I it it hasn't I don't know. So, from the inside
00:02:18
out, it's felt sort of quieter and more unsure, >> but great. If that's how it looks on the
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outside, brilliant. Yeah, I'm really important. Really, really busy. >> Well, no, I'm thinking um uh yeah, there
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was the White Lotus stuff, then you were um Oh, no. The the Emmy Award first. >> Oh, yes.
00:02:38
>> Emmy Award, White Lotus. Um, now you've got a movie out, uh, Stories About My
00:02:43
Body, which we'll get into. Um, a new comedy show starting called Bust Up. It just feels like
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>> Yeah. >> feels like everything's going good. But I suppose for you this is all work
00:02:51
that's either in the rear view. >> Yes, that's right. Yeah. So, I think I finished Bust Up, shooting Bust Up in
00:02:58
August last year, just in time for my birthday. And um, I had finished an 18month shooting spree, like a killing
00:03:07
spree, but a shooting spree. uh which is all you ever dream of. But it really that just I hobbled to the finish line
00:03:14
on that one to White Lotus and then came off that and came straight home and filmed stories of my own body. Went into
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the edit then went to Australia and did playing Crazy Darling then Smalltown Scandal after that and then Bust Up. So,
00:03:29
and I feel like I'm actually still kind of like coming too after that. >> So, who Yeah, I I've got a quote from
00:03:36
you. Um, I've actually got a couple of quotes. One is that um, uh, actors have an addiction to hope.
00:03:43
>> Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I think because our career is so, uh, unstable, which is fine. I And it's the only
00:03:52
certainty is that you will be un unemployed quite a lot. And so when you get a little hit, when
00:03:59
you get an audition or like a little muttering that maybe there's something coming, it gives you a little dopamine
00:04:04
hit of hope >> and that's what keeps you in it. Otherwise, you do a much more steady
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job. >> Yeah. This other quote, acting can feel incredibly helpless and I still have
00:04:18
hard days. Feel from from from just the the three minutes we've been talking, it
00:04:21
feels like you're going through one of those patches at the moment. >> Yeah, I feel like I've just come out of
00:04:25
a hard patch actually. So that's good. I think I was feeling I was feeling hopeless and that is sad cuz you just
00:04:33
don't have that fuel to kind of look into the future and go, "Yes, there's something happening." It just felt
00:04:39
>> hopeless. I I felt like that with work. I was also probably >> I was getting a bit doomsday on the
00:04:45
geopolitical front and uh >> the world's a dumpster fire at the moment. >> It's a dumpster fire. But look, I I have
00:04:54
12 kilos of flour in my >> Oh, you're ready to go. >> I'm ready to go. So much dried beans,
00:05:01
guys. But I was just like, "Oh my god." And then I was like, "There's no I've got work lined up in Australia this
00:05:10
year." And I was like, "If there's no jet fuel to get me there, then I'm waiting for that call to say we can't
00:05:16
fly you over, let alone do the job." I don't know. It was just a lot of panicking and re-evaluating and some of
00:05:22
it was unnecessary, some of it was necessary just to sort of like get my head around that and everything like
00:05:29
that. But of course, a reminder that >> even in when things are going crazy politically, globally, everyone just
00:05:38
plots along. We're all just living our lives and so >> here we are. And it's interesting
00:05:43
getting getting your version of events cuz your perspective on things cuz as I was saying before like from an outsers's
00:05:48
perspective it feels like you're on a just this red hot streak at the moment. >> You're the biggest thing in New Zealand
00:05:53
New Zealand acting. >> Yes. >> Take that Kha. >> No stop. Oh, I love Kha. She's the best.
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>> I feels great. That's awesome. Well, and look, there you go as well. I need to
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just um have presence of mind enough to enjoy that. >> I really enjoy it. I'm enjoying it. I
00:06:15
love it. I'm so grateful. >> So So you you you I mean you turned 40 last year. You've done this your entire
00:06:20
adult life. So you've been an actor longer than what you have not been an actor. Um has has it gotten harder or
00:06:26
has the anxiety increased as you've got more responsibilities like kids? >> Great question. I don't know. I think
00:06:32
again es and flows. It all just there's an there's an illusion of finish lines. There's an illusion of competition
00:06:39
always with this industry, but it's all an illusion. And I really know that now why you know I always say like we use a
00:06:46
term you've made it as though you've you get to stop. And so I think there's been
00:06:52
really there's been harder moments for me. I have noticed maybe that there is a pattern as um as one comes to the end of
00:07:00
a decade and starting a new because you are being cast you are I'm maybe more aware of of how I am perceived in
00:07:10
context of my age and that can be sometimes cool and also confronting you know at the end of my 20s coming into my
00:07:17
early 30s I could feel there were certain roles that were no longer for me that I was too old for but then too
00:07:23
young for other archetypes you Mhm. >> And then same with this era and you get really cool stuff as well, but there's
00:07:31
just shifts and changes all the times and sometimes I'm up for it. Sometimes I'm like, yeah, let's change. That's why
00:07:37
I'm in this job. Otherwise, I would just get a dayto-day >> and other times I don't know what it is
00:07:42
where I just it's the change is jarring. >> Got it. And a 9 to5 would be way less
00:07:47
fun, but it'd be way less stressful, wouldn't it? >> That's right. I always say fun ain't
00:07:51
free, you know? Like if you're just coasting along, then you'll coast along. As soon as you have too much fun,
00:07:57
there's a price you pay. And I you watch that with my kid. I watch my kids play.
00:08:02
And you know when you watch kids playing and it starts to head into manic and you
00:08:06
just go, it's going to end in tears. And sometimes you just need some tears to end it and or I pull you out of the fun
00:08:13
because it's too much. You've got to pay tax on that. >> Yeah. So, I I've sort of found in the
00:08:19
past week when I've been when people have asked me who's coming up on the podcast and I say Morgan O'Reilly, um I
00:08:24
I usually follow that up with what is almost like your IMDb page. I'm like Wentworth neighbors stories about my
00:08:30
body, White Lotus. Um but who how would you how would you answer that question? Who is Morgan O'Reilly?
00:08:36
>> That is a great question because I'm not sure. My my dreaded thing is uh I I feel
00:08:42
like I've done enough over the years that I am deep in somebody's subconscious. People will stop me and
00:08:48
go, "How do I know you? Did we go to school together?" Or, "Do you do yoga with so
00:08:53
and so?" And I I very rarely say, "I'm on the telly." Especially because the odd time that I have said, "Oh, well,
00:09:00
I'm on the telly, so maybe you quite know." And then they'll be like, "No, no, we did do a thing." OH MY GOD. I'M
00:09:05
>> THEY CORRECT YOU WITH they correct your facts. >> Yeah, totally. I'm like, "Oh, God,
00:09:10
that's so embarrassing." So I smile and nod. Um or they go, "Oh, you're on TV. What have you done?" And they said,
00:09:16
"What have you done?" And I'm like, "Have you >> I don't know. Do you watch TV?"
00:09:21
>> Neighbors. That's right. Yes. >> I I feel very proud of everything. And I um So it always depends on what people
00:09:31
are consuming. If you like movies, then there's Housebound. Or if you're into good, juicy daytime telly, then there's
00:09:38
Neighbors, Wentworth, >> and um Comfort Laughs Mean Moms. So yeah, who are you? Back to that
00:09:45
question, how would you describe yourself? >> I think I am a performing artist. >> I love playing characters
00:09:55
and I write. I write a lot, as much as I can. It's acting is easier for me than writing, but I really like to be
00:10:03
creative, so that's important. I think I have been a very resourceful artist in the past. I've got a tattoo on the back
00:10:11
of my ankle of a chair to remind me that you don't need much to make art. You especially again in acting where you do
00:10:18
a lot of waiting for permission to be an actor. >> I um very proud of I made a my first
00:10:25
solo show. I toured in people's living rooms predominantly all over the world. I did it as I was traveling. I did it to
00:10:33
say thank you for having me or um as a way to make a buck. When I was living in Sydney, I would ride my bike between one
00:10:41
house and another and it was always donation or kohart um donation overseas. I don't understand the word koha over
00:10:48
there. But um so I feel proud of between the hired work uh to be resourceful enough
00:10:57
to try and create my own as much as possible. >> Being um an introvert and a bit of a
00:11:02
homebody, that sounds like my kind of show. Getting the performer to come to the living room was so great. And it's
00:11:07
great for the performer as well because it turns the home owner into your publicist, your venue manager, and your
00:11:14
uh stage manager cuz they're getting friends over. >> Yeah. So, that's an amazing Yeah. It
00:11:20
really cuts the costs for you as a performer. >> Doesn't seem like a great business model
00:11:24
though. I can't imagine it's overly lucrative. Well, it would was good for me as like a young and broke actor to be
00:11:30
able to go from and because it was always donation. It would every audience would equal even out the other one. So
00:11:38
I'd go from like a house party in a student flat to a fancy mansion in Bondi and you know get 80 bucks there and 500
00:11:48
bucks there and it would was paying my way for a little while there which was lucky cuz it got to a point in Sydney
00:11:54
where I was like oh no I need to get a real job and I have no skills. >> I can act like I I can act like a doctor
00:12:02
cuz I can say electromyiographic bio feedback but I am not a doctor. So that's a problem. What am I going to
00:12:09
say? >> You think it's a problem? Have you met Michael Galvin? >> Oh my gosh. Wow. Well, you know, he's a
00:12:14
working doctor actor. >> So, you are very good at acting. I How good are you at being like completely
00:12:22
authentically yourself? >> I >> Is it easier for you to pretend to be other people than to actually be
00:12:27
yourself? >> Wow, that's such an interesting question. I think I guess it's probably easier
00:12:36
only slightly easier to play a character because there's literally a script and you know what's happening but there are
00:12:43
plenty of days and times and scenes where I'm just like this doesn't feel right and then I get all how to make it
00:12:53
bettery feeling and obviously in life I can't do that so much >> and sometimes I feel so open chest
00:13:01
completely and utterly in me and understanding of who I am. And I guess like everybody else, there's certain
00:13:10
times of the day, times of the month, places, and people that trigger absolute disarray. I'm like, I don't know. I
00:13:17
don't know who I am. >> This is probably good as well. I invite that feeling quite happily.
00:13:24
>> Well, we've been going 12 minutes. I I appreciate the honesty so far. I think
00:13:27
this is going to be a really great day. It >> was great to have you. Thank you. >> No, no, you told me you got to be done
00:13:32
by 2:30 for school run. So, we've got a couple of hours. >> Yeah. >> So, um let's go all the way back. So, um
00:13:38
yeah. What are your earliest memories? >> Uh well, actually my earliest memory if
00:13:43
it's or any interest is being I must I actually remember my childhood very vividly. I remember from really early
00:13:50
on. I think my first memory I'm about 2 and a half and I'm sitting in my pram where down in Wellington my mother and I
00:13:59
at in Eastborne my my grandmother lived there upstairs my auntie and uncle lived
00:14:04
downstairs with their kids and I'm in the pram in my memory I'm in the pram and I have that
00:14:11
plastic rain shield over the front of the PL pram you know those covers and we're about to we must be leaving and my
00:14:18
cousin Lauren is looking through the cover to And I remember her face was all blurry because of the plastic warping
00:14:25
her face and her saying, "You're going back to Oakuckland now." >> Well, you got a pram memory. That's
00:14:30
amazing. >> A pram memory. >> Yeah. >> No one has a pram memory. That's awesome. But yeah, it seems like an
00:14:36
interesting childhood. So your mom was >> I was 16. >> Yeah, I have memory. >> Fooled everyone. She's acting that she
00:14:43
couldn't walk for that long. >> I was never allowed to walk. >> So um you're from Ponson B. Dad's a
00:14:49
graphic designer. My mom's a dancer and choreographer. Yeah. >> So, it's like a creative sort of
00:14:53
environment. >> Yeah. >> Was your um your mom's job seems like very sort of um artsy and creative like
00:14:59
there's work or there's no work much like what you're doing now. Your dad being a graphic designer, was that more
00:15:04
sort of consistent instead? >> That was more consistent but super creative as well. I mean, he is
00:15:09
generally in every sense a very creative person. Anyway, so and growing up he had
00:15:15
a design studio which uh when I was younger of course design being a designer at that time meant his studio
00:15:23
had a dark room and airbrushes and literally it was like so hands-on which was very cool. And then mom was yes more
00:15:31
um a contract artist worker. So very comfortable with the idea that some years are flush and some years are not.
00:15:39
that >> that it obviously wasn't triggering for you in any way like it didn't it didn't
00:15:42
turn you think right that's it I got to get a I got to go to university I got to
00:15:46
get a secure job. >> Yeah. No no no no I felt really that those two are really rock and roll and I
00:15:53
think great advocates of the idea of live a beautiful life an adventurous life. Like better to throw paint at the
00:16:02
wall then never look at the wall. I don't know. Yeah. So always they they've had a wonderfully
00:16:09
adventurous life and now they're in their mid late7s and they're they're younger than most
00:16:15
people that I know at that age. So >> are they proud of you and what you've done?
00:16:19
>> Yes. Sickeningly sickeningly so no, not sickeningly so. Lovely. >> Um my parents are are both still alive.
00:16:27
They're about the same age like mid to late 70s. [ __ ] you. You and I have got some crunchy stuff coming up over the
00:16:33
next 20 15 20 years, haven't we? Hopefully. Let's just keep pushing that boat out for as long as
00:16:39
>> possible. >> We talked before the podcast started about the um just the anguish about
00:16:43
losing pets. >> Yeah, we got a lot we got a lot coming up. >> That's right. Yeah, that's right. And so
00:16:50
I do I'm trying to keep as um reflecting on that as much as possible cuz also I my kids are age seven and 10. So, we're
00:17:00
just before real teenage adolescence and and my parents are well >> is the sweet spot.
00:17:08
>> So, did you am I right in saying you ended up on Shortland Street as an extra
00:17:12
at the age of eight? >> Yeah, it's my only time I've ever been on Short Street. I was a tap dancing
00:17:17
Christmas elf and I was thrilled. I did tap dancing all the way through my childhood. But I did it for about 12
00:17:25
years and yeah and Shortan Street I guess had just had been out for 5 years or something and it was
00:17:31
>> punko >> and we were this little gaggle of tap dancers who it was like during a
00:17:37
Christmas episode and our Santa Claus had been in a car accident. So we were yeah in the waiting
00:17:46
room. >> Is that where you got a taste for this? >> Where did I get a taste for it? Look, I
00:17:51
always say that it's my mother's love of performing and my father's humor and gift of the gab. My dad's very
00:17:59
funny, very vivaceious storyteller. And my mother is a wonderful performer. She was in Limbs Dance Company and if
00:18:07
anybody is of the era then they will know. Um so I think those two inputs gave me the taste the taste for it. Lots
00:18:18
of time spent in an empty theater as moms packing in and things like that, being able to just hang out and play
00:18:26
around on the stage and in the seats and things like that. >> Yeah, I think a lot of kids can probably
00:18:30
identify with going to their parents' work. Um, it's a very it's very unique workplace.
00:18:35
>> Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Which I didn't quite realize. And then, yeah, lots of
00:18:39
sick days spent in dance rehearsal spaces, >> uh, watching amazing dancers fling
00:18:45
around the room while I just sat there in a pile of blankets drawing cuz there were no screens, which is good.
00:18:54
>> God, you can't avoid them these days. >> I know. Gosh. >> And you um you did some travel uh with
00:18:59
your mom. You went to Finland, Turkey, and Scotland. How did those trips define you?
00:19:04
>> Hugely. In fact, I really I need to figure out a way I guess financially and just trying to lock in lock in times to
00:19:11
travel with our work schedule is always a bit difficult cuz you can never quite tell in the following months or years
00:19:18
when you're going to be required. But I traveled with my mother when I was about
00:19:23
11 or 12. We went to Turkey, Finland, and Finland, Turkey, and then Scotland all for dance related things. We went to
00:19:31
the Daisy conference where she did. I came with her >> in Finland um Dance and the Child
00:19:36
International and then we went and stayed with a friend in Estanbul. She is a choreographer so we stayed with her
00:19:41
and then we went to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and it was just incredible. It
00:19:45
was so delicious because I I often think you can't it's very hard to practice gratitude without context. It's really
00:19:57
hard to understand how good you have it if you haven't experienced anything else
00:20:03
>> at all. Uh and so to be able to go overseas and experience go to Istanbul and see the kind of
00:20:12
glorious chaos of that and same this sort of there was this grit in Scotland which was quite very exciting but kind
00:20:21
of scary at that age and Finland was like this beautifully put together windmills on islands but light the whole
00:20:28
time. It was 24 hours of sunlight because of the time of year. And then my dad and I when I was 13, we traveled
00:20:34
together down through Vietnam. And what am I 13? So that's Yeah. Early 2000s. >> Good man.
00:20:44
>> So So the I think the the Vietnam of that time was uh different to how it sounds
00:20:52
maybe today. So again was really eye opening of like real poverty. Um, so I I came back from both of those trips with
00:21:02
a much more articulate sense of gratitude and a beautifully closer relationship with both parent. I had to
00:21:11
really cling on to them and I think that was good. >> Yeah. And I suppose like a a a world
00:21:16
view and a maturity that you just can't get from the classroom or books. >> Exactly. Yeah. Adventure and achievement
00:21:24
and um curiosity. Yeah. And you just I think if you are lucky enough to be able to travel somewhere anytime or being
00:21:33
invited into somebody's culture anytime invited um I feel like you become a guardian. You become you feel like
00:21:41
there's for forever a connection and an appreciation. Yeah. >> So when you were 15 you decided you
00:21:48
wanted to go all in on acting. >> Yes. >> If you knew then what you know now would
00:21:53
you do anything different? Would you still do it? Yeah, I'd still do it. Absolutely. I I'd probably be even more
00:22:00
sure, I guess. It's It's great. I I knew really potently in my heart that that's
00:22:07
what I wanted to do. I joined a youth theater company called Out Loud Theater Company that was run by an amazing woman
00:22:14
called Rose Gardener. And there were a lot of kids there who were slightly older than my I would have been, yeah,
00:22:21
15 or so. And there would have been 16, 17 year olds. and they took it really seriously. Drama class at school was was
00:22:29
fun, but it was giggly, you know, and it nobody any any kind of push out of your comfort zone
00:22:36
was just everybody would collapse in >> laughter. But this one was really serious. It was like this is acting. Oh
00:22:41
yeah. >> At at 15, what did your what did your dream career look like? Was it like the
00:22:47
next Kate Winslett, Gwennneth Paltro, Kirst and Danced? Kate Winslet has been my favorite for so long. Yeah, totally.
00:22:57
I wanted to be a superstar. >> I guess so. Cuz that's you you think of actor and that's what everyone thinks
00:23:03
of. Most actors just think of that. You don't realize that the nuance of what it
00:23:07
really means to be an actor, I guess. >> So, I may or may not have written an Oscar acceptance speech.
00:23:15
>> Oh, did you? At what age? >> You're probably around that age. Like 16 or something like that. So, it's just
00:23:20
like ready to go. >> Is that what What is that? Is that manifesting? >> Yeah. >> Yeah.
00:23:26
>> Yeah. Sure. No, I think um whatever it is, it's a teenager who knew exactly what they wanted to do. And I think
00:23:33
that's >> that was lucky. It's not good, it's not bad, but it was lucky to have kind of it
00:23:39
was lucky that I feel very lucky that I knew with a whole heart what I wanted to
00:23:46
do. I had the support around me to do it. and I had just enough resources to do so. So, I really I acknowledge all of
00:23:54
that >> because even if you're a real driven person, it's a tough career, isn't it?
00:23:59
Because it's like you think of the amount of steps that are completely and utterly out of your hands to get through
00:24:03
in order to win an Oscar. Like, you need someone to cast you in a a movie that's
00:24:06
going to be worthy of winning those. I mean, look at Tom Cruz. I don't think he's even won an Oscar, has he?
00:24:11
>> Hasn't he? >> No, I don't think so. I think he's been like like given one like a lifetime
00:24:15
achievement. >> I I've worked with somebody a while ago who was fervently against the Oscars. He
00:24:20
just thought they were such [ __ ] which I think they are. It's not a quantifiable art. It's just not. And he
00:24:26
would say, you know, it's a it's a prize for getting a job, which is true. And I
00:24:30
do think any of those any kind of competition around an art form of any kind has just got to be seen as just a
00:24:39
bit of fun because >> how can they say that so and so is a better actor than so- and so without
00:24:44
identifying like the budget constraints that they're working under versus them. Uh has has that person just lost a
00:24:53
partner or has you know any of the contextual stuff you can't quantify it. So, it's just I think it's just a bit of
00:25:00
a Christmas party really and that's fine. >> They know I say but it's you can't get
00:25:04
too hung up on >> it's part of the ecosystem as well like we all want to promote our films and our
00:25:08
TV shows so that people watch them and they just we're all just interpolating so that's fine.
00:25:15
>> So, um so you you go to drama school. Um what's your first job after drama school?
00:25:20
>> I was so lucky. I came straight out of drama school and went into the working
00:25:26
for the silo theater in Oakland and they had an amazing show called the ensemble
00:25:32
project which was two shows working uh one device show and one uh directed show in working at the same time. So I worked
00:25:44
with Michael Hurst on a show called Tis Pity She's a [ __ ] which is written in Shakespeare's era.
00:25:51
>> John Ford Tom Ford. Oh god that's shows how terrible I am and it's an amazing
00:25:57
play. If I was a real actor I could remember. Yes sir. >> Um and the ensemble project uh based on
00:26:05
Oakland a devised piece directed by Oliver Driver. So the cast did both and alternating the nights. So I felt like I
00:26:14
came out of drama school into that just like like I'd come out of training and gone straight to the Olympics. It was
00:26:20
perfect. >> And then while we I was performing that at night, they asked me to be the female
00:26:29
actor in their 10year anniversary show, The Silo's 10y year anniversary show, which was Bear by to Fraser,
00:26:37
>> which was that role was initially done by Meline Sami. So I was incredibly humbled and thankful. And so I was
00:26:46
rehearsing that in the day and performing these two concurrent shows at night. And I remember leaving the house
00:26:52
one day going I need to take my music like my my iPod so that I don't forget who I am. I had probably about 25
00:27:00
characters in my head which was fabulous. >> Wow. And then I came out of that and
00:27:05
went screaming into unemployment for the first time. And I had like >> what age?
00:27:13
>> At 21 because so I' I'd been dying to move out of home. I love my parents but
00:27:18
I was dying to move out of home but because I was doing 3 years of drama school full time and I just I couldn't
00:27:24
afford it. So I waited until then I got all that work with the silo and I thought I can get a flat and I got a
00:27:30
flat and then of course I hadn't been able to think further enough ahead because my prefrontal cortex was still
00:27:37
not fully developed and I and I ran out of work and was like h I think I was still working at Burger Fuel. It must
00:27:46
have been I worked at Burger Fuel as my day job as much as I could but I it wasn't enough to make rent and also it
00:27:55
was my first time out of any learning institution any kind of since I was and I came out of a long relationship and
00:28:01
was like holy moly and had to yeah pull my [ __ ] together refind myself decided I wanted to go
00:28:09
overseas I decided I' i'd always wanted to travel and then I I noticed that I became more scared scared of that idea.
00:28:17
And then when all of that was stripped away from me, relationship, work, identity, it was a great moment to go,
00:28:25
actually, I still I I can do this. I'm going to go travel the world on my own. And so I I I guess I worked and worked
00:28:33
or saved money. I was on my own and had no dependence, so I could do that. and decided to make a onewoman show merely
00:28:40
out of necessity and the audacity of youth and was like, "Oh, well then, oh, I'll make a one woman show and then I
00:28:45
don't need to pay other actors." So, I did that and to help fund raise to go overseas. And then when I traveled, I
00:28:51
did that all over the place. So, yeah. >> The one woman show, is that the one where you were going in people's living
00:28:56
rooms? >> Yeah. And I sort of realized I could do it like that when I was traveling
00:29:00
overseas cuz I um I went and stayed with Tom Sainsbury and Adie Walker. They were
00:29:06
living in London and they I did a show that show in their living room for their friends. I think they suggested it and
00:29:14
that then they passed around a hat for donations. I thought this is great. >> And then yeah did it in a lot of other
00:29:19
places. Burning Man. Um I don't know if people were really listening. >> Yeah. Do you remember much of Burning
00:29:28
Man? What were you What were you on? Were you on acid? Actually, no. Your kids might listen to this one day. B C E
00:29:33
D >> M D M A >> was fabulous. >> Wow. Wow. I love the idea of Burning Man, but I think Yeah, there's
00:29:42
expectation versus reality. Like it looks really sandy and messy and gross. >> I think that's why it's so great. You
00:29:48
got to do if you at all interested. You do do Burning Man because nobody claims it to be easy. That's the whole thing is
00:29:54
it's sandy and dirty and it's hard and it's that's where you find stuff. M >> so this travel that you're doing this OE
00:30:01
is this is this where you ended up in New York? >> Yes. >> So this is something that comes up in um
00:30:06
in your movie uh your your stage play turn movie story about my body. >> Yes. >> So you were um Yeah. Or you tell the
00:30:13
story. >> Yeah. I >> So you end up on Craigslist. >> Yeah. Basically I I end up traveling uh
00:30:20
to 17 countries in 8 months. I go through Europe, up through South America, into the States. I get a free
00:30:28
ride on a cruise ship for a bit. And actually, there's this amazing two weeks with a very dear friend of mine who I
00:30:35
met in the crowd of shape shifter explore. >> Wow. >> And then we uh caught up when I was in
00:30:43
the States. He took me on a cruise ship with his family. They had an extra ticket. Okay. To Mexico, Bise in the
00:30:50
Bahamas. and then a week on a cruise ship and then we went together to Burning Man for a week. So there's two
00:30:58
weeks of backtoback very opposite paradoxial Americana glorious. Then finally back to New York. And once
00:31:09
I got back to New York, I just I think any Kiwi who is overseas probably understands that yearning of just before
00:31:19
as you're coming closer to the end of the year when you just I need a New Zealand summer. Like I just there's
00:31:23
something that I so I decided, okay, I'm going to go home. I'm so broke that um and if you've been to New York, you will
00:31:31
know that you leave the house, you just bleed money. >> The everything is expensive. And so I
00:31:37
did a lot of uh smoking on the fire escape just not leaving my friend's house who was so lovely to let me stay
00:31:44
on their floor. I thought as well it would be easy enough to get under under the table under the table work and my
00:31:51
>> Oh yeah like waitressing or hospice. >> Yeah. Why are we whispering? >> I didn't cuz I didn't have the papers
00:31:56
you know. >> Oh right you're illegal. >> Illegal and uh but it was 2009 and it was the recession. So actually people
00:32:06
were like you go there you walk around you and get a bar job in 2 seconds flat. And I just spent days walking the
00:32:11
streets like just asking for work. Nobody had work. And uh I finally did find a cafe in on Second Avenue and they
00:32:21
paid me $2.50 per hour plus tips. And in the weekend they paid me $9 nothing per
00:32:27
hour plus tips. >> Wild. >> I know. And it was actually really fun. I was like the one server and I would do
00:32:34
the coffee. They I remember one girl showed me how to make an espresso when I got there like a latte or a flat white
00:32:42
and I was watching this whole process like what she was like okay so you how did she goes okay so we're going to
00:32:50
froth the milk right and put it into a cup and then in another cup you get the you're going to make the espresso come
00:32:56
out there and you just pour that over the milk. I was like, "Okay, no." Um, so I worked there as many days a
00:33:04
week as I could. It wasn't making much money. I looked into Craigslist. Then I was like, "Okay, this is I finally come
00:33:10
to the moment in my life where let's see what crazy [ __ ] I can do for money." And
00:33:15
I I don't think I felt confident enough in my body to be a stripper. >> Did you consider it?
00:33:22
>> Yeah. And I figured, look, you're in New York. [ __ ] it. I just Yeah, why not? Um,
00:33:27
it sounds like a really interesting thing to do and I I just don't think I had actually the confidence for it. I
00:33:36
looked at all kinds of ads. I looked at I answered a couple of like nanny ads, but everybody wanted longer term. Fair
00:33:44
enough. There was actually I think like nude modeling even. It didn't pay very well. And then I finally found this ad
00:33:50
which I will never forget and it said foot worship parties. No funny business can make up to $300 a night, which
00:34:00
>> sounded beautiful, especially because like I've hated most parts of my body, every part of my body
00:34:06
>> in different series throughout my life except my feet like consistently liked. I was like,
00:34:12
"Yes." So I went along and they I what did I have to do? I had to send them a photo of myself. I sent them this
00:34:23
photo. I remember somebody took it of me when I was in Spain and I was really drunk but I was really like so it look
00:34:31
real >> Oh, they wanted like a head and shoulder shot, not a foot shot. >> No, not a foot shot. They wanted see if
00:34:37
I how I looked. So I sent them this sultry photo. Very drunk photo. And they got back and said, "Great. Come in on
00:34:45
whatever Wednesday." These are Wednesday night evening parties at this bar on the
00:34:50
Bowery down these stairs. and uh come in and there'll be a casting and so it if you if you get through then you can work
00:34:59
the party that night and so yeah my friend took me down there to the bowy slightly concerned I was like this is
00:35:07
great it's great and it was a casting sort of like a group of us sitting on the couch and we um we asked to take off
00:35:14
our shoes I I guess they sort of lightly inspected our feet and they don't need to that much because I think
00:35:23
every if you are into feet then you'll be into the feet that you're into. So everyone has different
00:35:28
>> feet. But what are they casting for? Like do they want to make sure you've got like a open and gregarious
00:35:32
personality or your ability to hold conversation or >> Yes. Any previous convictions? No, I
00:35:39
think they just want to make sure that you're pretty probably. >> Right. Right. >> And I don't know in whatever way. Who
00:35:45
knows? I'd be so interested. What are you looking for in your foot worship candidates? So,
00:35:52
>> you got the job though. >> I got the job. It was actually like someone was sent home. It was all very
00:35:56
like, "Oh my god, this is a big deal." Finally, I got the job and I could stay. And um yeah, I mean, how much do you
00:36:03
want to know? >> What? So, so was it all men? >> What What are they like? They were a mix
00:36:10
between very interesting characters who I guess spend all their extra money on this and then
00:36:21
like more like seemingly wealthier guys that had money to spare on this. >> Yeah.
00:36:31
>> Lots of different sorts of people. >> Did you establish being an actor? I'm guessing you're quite good at observing
00:36:37
people and reading people. Did you did you establish like what was it that made them tick? Like is it a power and
00:36:43
control thing or >> Oh, well I was Yeah. I mean I say this this is all in the film so I feel like
00:36:50
I'm I'm just doubling up on it. But my first couple of nights there, especially the first one after that
00:36:57
casting, you were paid $20 every 10 minutes whilst you were in a session with somebody. Somebody is licking your
00:37:06
toes. $20 every 10 minutes. That's in 2009. I don't know what that is in inflation now.
00:37:11
>> Um, but I wasn't very good at it because I was way too chatty. I just was walking
00:37:18
around this party going, "Hi." So, I guess I was fairly good at being like bubbly and cute. Um, but way too into
00:37:28
people's stories. Tell me, how did you get here? Like, what did you do? Like, why do you like feet so much? And of
00:37:34
course that's not $20 every 10 minutes for those chats. So I had to quickly learn to
00:37:42
work the actual business side of it a bit better. But I do remember that like I tell the story in the the film, but
00:37:47
one guy tells me and he was quite an odd guy, but he told me that the reason that
00:37:53
he loved feet so much is because he grew up in a poor neighborhood and that the girl that he loved didn't really
00:37:59
acknowledge that he existed. Right? So he loved her from afar, but her shoes were falling apart and her big toe would
00:38:06
protrude from a hole at the top. So he would position himself in the classroom uh so that he could see that toe and he
00:38:15
felt like there was such a connection between him and that toe. That was his one connection to her and that from
00:38:22
there that snowballed into a full-fledged foot fetish. >> Possome. >> How long How long did you do it for or
00:38:29
how many parties? Oh, I can't remember but a month or like two two or 3 months, >> right?
00:38:36
>> Cuz you're making bank. >> Well, yeah. Yeah, that was in comparison to other comparison to other things. So,
00:38:41
I made just enough to like get my airfare home and working in the daytime at this cafe job. And then I meet my
00:38:50
husband, not at the footfish parties. Always need to specify that. Um, but I meet him at this time through our
00:38:59
friends that I'm staying with. >> And so I fall in love during this moment. >> He leaves in the end to come back to New
00:39:07
Zealand. I wrap up my time in New York and eventually get home as well. And we've been together ever since. And now
00:39:14
we've made that film together about the time that we met. Whoa. >> Yeah. It's like a full circle.
00:39:19
>> I know. Totally. >> Yeah. That's um Peter Salmon who's in the industry as well. How Yeah. How how
00:39:25
do you two make it work? Like do you have like a a big whiteboard on the wall and he has to stay at home because
00:39:30
you're off doing something or you have to stay at home? How does >> total chaos? I don't know. A big
00:39:36
whiteboard. We've often talked about how maybe a big whiteboard could be the thing. We need a big whiteboard, but I
00:39:42
fear it would probably still go untouch. I don't know. We just make it work every
00:39:46
day. Neither of us are particularly type A. Like we're not we're sort of both quite organic artists. So that can be
00:39:53
like our house is just, you know, we just make it work >> each job at a time and it luck kind of
00:40:00
happens happens to work out where there's not too much of an overlap. Sometimes there is and then we just at
00:40:07
th those points theoretically we're both earning so we just throw money at it. We
00:40:14
usually find an amazing nanny usually in the form of some gorgeous, wonderful, cool young actor who like we we we buy
00:40:25
reby the village, you know. >> Yeah. >> And >> are you guys good at um at budgeting? So
00:40:29
when when when you have like a job that pays well, you put the money aside. >> Oh, yeah. Probably. I think that's
00:40:35
naturally part of our um our process. But I I am actually trying to be better at understanding
00:40:45
like stock markets and things. God, I've never really cared too much about it. And then like classic, you know, when
00:40:55
you're in a partnership and you're trying to raise a family and >> one of you is probably going to be more
00:41:00
focused on that stuff than the other one. And now I'm trying to be more I'm trying to be more savvy with that stuff
00:41:06
which is in turn made me really worried about it all. >> And so I got heaps of beans and flour.
00:41:13
>> Yeah. I I did a um I did a panic buy during the um p at the start of the pandemic when everyone else was. I was
00:41:19
like cuz it was all over the TV and I was like I need to I need to I need to panic buy.
00:41:24
Well, I've still got I I got into the supermarket and I wasn't sure what to get. So, I've still got like packs of
00:41:29
spaghetti and baked beans that I >> know cuz you don't want to eat that [ __ ] >> Oh, yeah. Totally.
00:41:35
>> So, since we're since we're on the New York thing, which is part of the um stories about my body, so that was a
00:41:41
stage play, now it's a movie. I I'm I'm yet to see the movie, but is the movie like parts of your sort of standup
00:41:46
comedy from on stage into >> usually it is a stand-up comedy special, which I feel like it took me a minute to
00:41:51
kind of get comfortable with saying that cuz I don't identify as a standup. Standups are amazing and I that's not
00:41:58
really what I do. >> Uh >> but you can do and very well. >> Well, I think it's a solo show that but
00:42:04
if I say it's like a standup comedy special then people understand. So you'll feel like you're watching
00:42:09
something live but we shot it with a live audience twice and then we shot in a studio for a week. So, it's got all
00:42:15
the um some little cinematic flourishes >> is because this is this is you and it's
00:42:22
authentically you and it's um yeah, there's so much vulnerability in it. Is this the the the work you've done that
00:42:28
you're the most proud of? >> I guess so. I mean this is really morbid but part of me goes like if I was just
00:42:34
to get taken out by a bus when I walk out of here then I feel like there is something in the world that I have put
00:42:43
there which is my from my heart to yours >> oh no that doesn't feel silly at all
00:42:50
it's like a memoir >> yes and a something that my grandchildren can watch and they can see
00:42:56
the story of how their grandparents met And I it's probably the closest thing I can think of what it must be like to be
00:43:04
a singer and putting out an album because it's yours. It's my this is my song. >> Yeah.
00:43:10
>> And um there's nudity in this. Is nudity different when it's you being Morgana as
00:43:16
opposed to you being insert character's name here or is it just when you're naked in front of a room full of people?
00:43:23
Is it just is nudity just nudity? >> I don't know. I guess there is all types of nudity, isn't it? There's like really
00:43:28
preuncter nudity. Like if we were just sitting here in the nude for the first 10 minutes, you probably be like, "Oh,
00:43:33
gone." And then you'd probably just get over it. I forget about it. Do >> you know that maybe I didn't phrase that
00:43:39
correctly, but like I'm a non actor. I'm wondering if you're like if you're if you're playing someone else and you're
00:43:44
naked, are you are you convinced that you're that person naked or is it still Morgana naked in a room full of people?
00:43:50
Yeah, probably if you were if I was doing nudity as an actor, as a character, you can dive into a character and be
00:43:59
really present in that person's given circumstances. And then there are certain things that will make it harder
00:44:04
to stay present in that person's given circumstances, like being naked. That would probably pull you out some, but
00:44:10
only because it is strange. And then once it becomes not strange, then maybe that would be okay. Um, but also it
00:44:18
depends on the kind of like scene that you're doing because if you were like it's one thing to be doing like a super
00:44:23
runchy sex scene, very naked, a lot is being seen versus being half naked and running like a
00:44:34
banshee across a overpass because you're late to get somewhere. That's a functional.
00:44:40
>> So >> yeah, for this movie story is about my body. So, so, so it was done in in broad
00:44:46
daylight and uh a lot of it you're running around with a with a towel on you. Um, so you had permission to film
00:44:50
on the streets, but you didn't close the streets off. No. >> So, people people around sort of Ponson
00:44:55
Bland area would have would have >> Yeah. The mayoral drive over going over Myers Park.
00:45:01
>> I know. I look forward to No one's come out of the woodwork, but apparently I
00:45:05
did. Apparently, so our amazing um first AD, she was like, "We we have to do this
00:45:13
right. We can't. We have to wait for just the right conditions. And it is probably like 2:00 p.m. on a Tuesday. We
00:45:20
have to wait for all the cars to be stopped at the traffic light. I'm sorry to tell you that, but I don't want
00:45:24
anybody crashing into each other. Good on you, Terry. Oh my gosh. And Okay. So, me and Amber, our costume um designer,
00:45:32
are at one end of the bridge with a robe, and we're just waiting for that perfect moment like a surfer where all
00:45:38
the cars are stopped and there's no foot traffic on the bridge. and go and run run run run run run run run run run run
00:45:43
run run run run run run run run run run run run and apparently I ran past a double-decker bus full of people at some
00:45:48
point so I wonder if people even registered I mean >> well how many cameras were around did it
00:45:53
did it look like a film a film crew >> no there was one camera at the end of the
00:45:58
>> just a naked lady >> like a half naked lady in a full brief >> we're not talking bikini brief no we're
00:46:05
going a very full brief yeah so you're welcome >> yes just going and really I really
00:46:13
wanted to make sure that these guys were moving as fast as possible cuz I knew we
00:46:16
were going to put it in slow-mo. So, >> are you proud of it? >> I'm so proud of it. I am so proud of it.
00:46:23
And I, you know, it's so interesting cuz there's So, yes, there is there is slow
00:46:28
motion boob nudity at the start of the film, which is my way of saying no [ __ ] Let's just get [ __ ] real,
00:46:35
okay? And we can chat. M. >> And then there toward the end there is footage of me giving birth to my son
00:46:43
while I tell that story. >> So it's graphic, but it's has my whole heart. >> Yeah.
00:46:50
>> And when when we had first finished the edit, we still had to do all the other
00:46:55
bells and whistles, but it was sitting with a distributor, a possible distributor there for a while,
00:47:00
>> and they came back and they went, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, funny, funny. Good." about that nudity in birth footage and
00:47:08
it was such an interesting moment because I remember feeling like oh god yeah I my vanity or my like just little
00:47:16
old me brain is like oh take it out oh totally yeah it's that's cooked I'm so sorry that's really inappropriate
00:47:24
but my artist brain is like no no no it's hard to tell the person who's just thinking about the money
00:47:32
not only do I think it'll be okay but I think it might be the tonga. >> I think it might be a very most special
00:47:41
part of this piece. >> And they said, "Never mind. We'll leave it." And I was like, "Oh, thank God."
00:47:47
Cuz actually, I don't want you to have it. If you can't see that and go, I see what you're doing and I think it's
00:47:52
great. I can see that other people are going to watch this and be like, "Yeah." Then I don't want you to have it.
00:47:58
>> So, yeah. >> Yeah. The the day that we're recording this podcast, um, just last night, you
00:48:03
were on Seven Sharp with Hillary Barry. you're talking about this and they put like a big black bar over your over your
00:48:09
boobies. How did how did you feel about that? I I know it's 7:00 p.m., but you're you you're trying to point out
00:48:14
that, you know, naked bodies are very natural. >> Oh, look, I think that's totally fine. I
00:48:18
think I really do appreciate that that can be alienating. So, I appreciate that that the the distributor has those
00:48:26
genuine concerns. I understand. I totally understand. And I don't want to alienate anybody and freak them out.
00:48:34
So, um, and sometimes putting a black bar over something only works to make the thing that it's covering even more
00:48:43
potent. So, that's all right. >> Yeah. Um, >> maybe they could have put something else
00:48:49
over it, like two emojis, maybe two jugs of beer emojis, >> coconuts or Yeah, >> my face just on both sides. Pete's face.
00:49:00
Oh, there's so many options. is the way that we can censor this for broadcast television in the future. Great.
00:49:06
>> So, also in this movie, Stories About My Body, which I guess um is it going to be
00:49:10
distributed? Have you got like a streaming platform that it's going to go on eventually?
00:49:13
>> No, it's got a life. So, it's going to have a uh little theater run here in New
00:49:18
Zealand in July. We're going to release it into the into the wild. I'll probably
00:49:23
follow it around and we can have >> We've been trying to think of something a way to like sort of not a Q&A. I'm
00:49:31
like, people will have be sick of the sight of me after the show, but I'd like to follow the film with it so we can
00:49:37
have some event screenings. I don't know, maybe we have a little group hug afterwards.
00:49:41
>> Yeah, that's a wonderful idea. >> A nudie dance. >> Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. So, I'm I'm yet to
00:49:47
see it, but I'm intrigued about aspects of it cuz there's um excuse me, a pardon
00:49:50
where you uh share diaries that you wrote when you were 12. >> Yes. >> What are they like? What's in your
00:49:56
diaries at 12? Oh, >> just a classic. Yeah, it's range. Looking back at those diaries when I was
00:50:02
devising the show, it was such I kept a diary every day for form one and form two. That's the only diaries
00:50:10
I've ever kept. And they are so indicative of that age 12 and 13 which these one diary entry is
00:50:19
so childlike. And then the next day is like just desperate to be a grownup >> or grappling with this really awful
00:50:30
self-loathing of hating hating my body and hating thinking no one was ever going to want
00:50:38
to smooch me. Oh, >> that's heartbreaking. I think everybody goes through it and um so and I guess
00:50:47
that's why when when I first started performing the show, a show that I just felt like I just want to I need to make
00:50:54
this show cuz I think it's the show I need to see and those diaries especially probably
00:51:02
a lot of people women I guess especially but I not particularly it resonated with them enough that I
00:51:10
realized it wasn't just my show. It was It was a bit more >> Yeah. way more way more relatable than
00:51:16
what you perhaps imagined. >> Yeah, that's right. >> Why did you um That's a terrible way to
00:51:20
be feeling at 12. And I'm sure it's not lost on you that your your your daughter
00:51:24
like she's starting intermediate next year, so she's almost at the same age as what you were. And you'd hate for her to
00:51:30
be feeling the same way as what you were feeling back then. >> I know. I think what would it be? This
00:51:34
is late ' 90s. I think the zeitgeist was still or if like in a really fiery spot
00:51:44
in that way. It was an era >> or heroin chic. >> Yeah. But also a real like self-proclaimed feminist era but with a
00:51:54
really nasty sting in its tale of like wanting people, you know, asking the Spice Girls when they've just had a baby
00:52:01
how to weigh themselves on national television and stuff like that. So it was probably a real
00:52:07
there was an articulation around that and whereas now who knows I think possibly people are more aware of skin I
00:52:17
I I'm I'm laying in wait with my daughter to see what will be the >> um what she's self-conscious about or
00:52:24
what her friends are self-conscious about. >> Yeah. How do you feel about your body
00:52:29
now? Or does it vary from day to day depending on? >> It varies from day to day. And now I
00:52:34
feel way more. Now I understand that those and this is what I'm ready to tell my daughter. And like
00:52:41
>> ironically had to tell my seven-year-old son the other day who threw me a real
00:52:45
curveball by being very upset about not liking how he looked. I was like, "What the [ __ ]
00:52:51
>> baby?" In what way did he specify? >> He just didn't like the way he looked. I
00:52:56
was like, "Has somebody said something? Something happened?" No, he's been thinking about it for a
00:53:01
long time. Oh my god. And um and I went to my husband. I was like, "Right, we've been preparing for this
00:53:08
moment." I thought it would be the girl, but it was the boy. Okay. And this is what I have come to understand now. The
00:53:14
thoughts, the um I don't want to say I feel like there's a real pop words like intrusive thoughts or like shitty selft
00:53:22
talk, whatever you want to call them. They now I understand they're a product of other things. So first and foremost
00:53:30
letting the kid know that please you are perfect absolutely amazing in every way
00:53:36
KTI but also now understanding that those thoughts and worries and feelings are usually a product of something else.
00:53:46
Being when you're really tired your brain can start going down that road. when I I know when I've had a recent
00:53:51
disappointment is a huge one that's just for me. So now I understand what my triggers are so that I can be a little
00:54:00
have a bit more grace, you know, be like, look, I >> I had two glasses of wine last night. I
00:54:05
don't feel hung over today, but I am just a bit shittier, >> so that'll do it. Or uh I didn't get a
00:54:12
role that I've been on hold for for 2 months, and my brain wants to scapegoat my body. uh being underslept, all these
00:54:21
things. So, understanding that they're product of something else and then that I or having not moved my body or eaten
00:54:28
[ __ ] food for the last week cuz I've been away or something. You know, you're eating just a bunch of like sugar and
00:54:34
cheese and that's fine for a little while, but that can contribute to feeling really crap and stodgy. I need
00:54:39
to be walked like a dog. Otherwise, again, my brain will turn in on itself. >> Yeah. Yeah. You need to be in tune in
00:54:45
tune with yourself. I've I've heard you talking about movement. This is something um you and I both have in
00:54:49
common. Like I I need it every day. If if I don't get it, I'm I'm not 100%. >> That's right. And you can almost like
00:54:56
it's actually it's even though I need it every day, I can sometimes forget that that's what it is. I'm just a bit titchy
00:55:04
and a bit like antsy and oh my I just need a walk. I haven't walked all day. >> Yeah.
00:55:10
>> God, you must have been a mess after Burning Man. Serotonin depletion for days.
00:55:16
I sorted that out. Is all right. >> Well, no, because I was just like traveling and single and I could do
00:55:23
whatever I like. >> Yes, there was a fair amount of depletion. >> How's your How's your mental health?
00:55:29
Most most Mostly has it been mostly good. >> Yeah, mostly good. Mostly good. I think
00:55:34
I think Yeah, circumstantial depression and things like that. Anxiety is fine. I
00:55:40
I've noticed anxiety creeping in to my life heaps more now. And and while I'm like super grateful that people talk
00:55:49
about permenopause now I'm 40 and I'm like oh god now every cycle I'm like is this permenop.
00:55:56
I've noticed anxiety becoming part of my life more and trying to >> um figure out how to
00:56:04
not get over it coast through it. I don't know. My amygdala seems to be inflamed at certain moments and I need
00:56:12
to >> Yeah. >> [ __ ] sucks though. So I'm I'm 53. Um I reckon I probably got through mentally
00:56:18
unsk until my mid-40s. And >> but you think um you think when you're younger you see people in their 40s and
00:56:25
beyond and you think they must have it all figured out like they they've clocked life and then you get there and
00:56:29
you're like oh no no everyone's just making [ __ ] up as they go along. >> Absolutely. Which is kind of a relief as
00:56:35
well. We're all just winging it. But then yeah, I you get the you either see or you realize, oh, when you hear about
00:56:42
midlife crisises, you go, this is rubbers's hitting the road. You Yeah, I can see you have to deal with yourself.
00:56:50
You're not this cute young thing who >> people just smile and not at now. You are your value is tethered to what you
00:56:59
do, what you achieve. >> Well, you're in the you're in the rejection business. Like for every yes
00:57:05
you get, you probably get you probably get nine nos. And that's if you if you're really good. When does when does
00:57:10
that stop hurting? >> Do you become you must become quite resilient. Like >> I I guess so. Yeah. And now there's only
00:57:17
like probably earlier on you just wanted all the jobs that you auditioned for. And now I'm much more gung-ho as if I
00:57:25
audition for something and then it goes off. And every now and then though, you still do you know what? It's probably it
00:57:30
can even though I had haven't been dating for nearly 17 years. But when you're dating you, there are some dates
00:57:37
that you go on that you're like, "Yeah, that was nice." And then every now and then you date somebody and you're like,
00:57:42
"That was really perfect. That could be perfect. That could be it. That could be the one." And then they
00:57:51
tell you that they don't want to hang out with you anymore. And yeah, then you feel yuck and sad and humiliated and
00:57:57
then like a like like a fool for even considering that you could have even been worth it at all.
00:58:05
>> And then and you know so that now I feel like it's sometimes I still yeah have those moments where I just
00:58:12
feel like why did you let it in Morgs? Why did you and then have to talk myself around be like you'd rather love and
00:58:19
lost than never loved at all. You know, sometimes you just got to feel it and then be disappointed for a bit and
00:58:24
you'll be fine. >> That's a great analogy. How How do you How do you not let yourself get your
00:58:29
hopes up high when it's a big job like White Lotus? Yeah. What's the back story with the White Lotus? Like when you do
00:58:34
the audition, do you know it's for White Lotus? >> Yes, I did. Even though it had a code
00:58:38
name, Secret Garden, but basically I'm pretty sure my agent was like, "We've got an audition for White Lotus." Uh,
00:58:45
that one was really interesting because it was so straightforward. I got the audition came through. No, first an NDA
00:58:52
came through which I signed very fast. My lovely agents are I said I've never had a NDA come back so fast. And then
00:58:59
the I got the sent the audition screen scene. I put it down as a self tape and I
00:59:05
>> which means you did it at home. >> I did it in my agent's office at their they've got a little studio down there
00:59:13
>> and sort of like to put some context in. I feel like this had I had come to a
00:59:17
point in my career where I had had one particularly hard year in 2023. I just I got no screen work. I got one
00:59:28
ad and I um I did stories of my body. I toured it a lot which kept me financially afloat but I just it was so
00:59:37
hard and lots of um holds and may for fancy things with fancy people. And I always say like the maybe is harder than
00:59:46
a no. Again, if if we're using the dating analogy, it's like we just I kept dating that person and we were really
00:59:53
getting serious and then they just pulled the plug and you like I thought we were getting married. So it it had
00:59:59
been a really painful year. Then I had then I was just genuinely jaded. Got really annoyed. Like I was probably you
01:00:08
know had been acting for 16 or 17 years by that point. I was like, "Really? This
01:00:12
is not getting any easier." I wasn't sure if I had the stomach for it. And then for some reason, something clicked
01:00:21
and got through my thick skull that what I have to give is unique. And I'm not saying that like I'm the best one. It's
01:00:32
just everybody has something unique. And I sort of was like, "Oh, okay. I'm just
01:00:37
going to do what I would do if they hired me, which sounds really obvious. And so when I when it came time to
01:00:45
audition for The White Lotus, I was very much kind of in my trying to be not jaded, but also trying
01:00:54
to be really this is this is me. This is you're going to get me unapologetic. >> And so I put that audition down, sent it
01:01:01
off, la. And then 2 weeks later, I was at a friend's wedding in Los Angeles and I
01:01:08
she'd let me be a bit of an honorary bridesmaid that day. I was just kicking about helping them get ready because I'd
01:01:13
come so far so I was allowed to stay. And then I was just about to go take my seat for the ceremony and I got a text
01:01:20
from Zara to say, "Oh my gosh, we just had this amazing feedback from the casting of White Lotus. They they liked
01:01:26
me a lot and they reiterated the shoot dates and I just remember thinking well I will just dine now and that that's
01:01:32
great amazing I'll that'll do me that show will come on telly and I'll say hey I auditioned for that and they liked me
01:01:40
so and I think I shared that text with my husband and my mom and then sat in the
01:01:50
you know watching the wedding. I think later in the reception I took a friend aside and was like, "Can I just tell you
01:01:56
this crazy thing that's happened?" >> Um, so that was really lovely because again, we live off hope. So, I just got
01:02:04
to be all hopeful and fizzy. >> But you weren't holding your breath even with that.
01:02:07
>> No. And that's right. I didn't have time to get because the other thing that starts to happen when you're on hold for
01:02:12
too long or when I'm on hold for too long, my logic brain starts to offer really logical reasons why it wouldn't
01:02:20
go my way, which usually are mean, shitty reasons. You're too fat, you're too old, and you're too [ __ ] which is
01:02:27
just that's just silly brain. Um, and not conducive, but posing is conducive. Then two weeks later, I'm back home in
01:02:34
New Zealand, and Sarah calls to give me an update. She says that there's still strong interest for you and Mike doesn't
01:02:43
really do call backs, which I was like, I adore this man. >> Oh, this is Mike White.
01:02:48
>> Mike White doesn't do call backs so much. Um, which was great to hear cuz that again that the year before which
01:02:55
was just call back after call back after hold wait was so painful and that this role would likely go straight to offer.
01:03:04
We should hear in the next few days. So again, I could just like enjoy the like fizzy hopefulness.
01:03:10
>> And the next morning, Zara called me at like 7:00 a.m. on a Saturday, which would have been a Friday evening for
01:03:15
them, and said, "They are going to offer you the role." And I said, "Are you sure?" She said, "Yeah." And then I
01:03:23
spent about a week thinking that it surely was a scam. kept emailing her and going, "So, when
01:03:28
they said they're going to offer, do do you mean like like thinking about it or yes to it?" Yes to it. Okay. Are you
01:03:37
sure that >> seems like a very elaborate scam? >> Well, there was the scam. There was
01:03:41
there's a whole podcast about it, Dom, which is um I think it's called Hollywood Conqu. I know a couple of
01:03:48
people that got scammed by this. This person in Indonesia who would like target mid-level filmies, stunt people,
01:03:55
makeup, makeup artists and actors and stuff to pull them over. It was like an ego scam. They weren't getting any
01:04:02
money, but they were like, "Come over. You pay for the tickets and we'll reimburse you when you get here." Big
01:04:06
Hong Kong director, like everything. And then they get there and there's nothing.
01:04:11
>> Oh my god. Anyway, so in the end, we got the offer, got the um got the contracts.
01:04:18
I was like, "Okay, got the scripts." Very elaborate scam. >> We're going real deep.
01:04:26
>> So, how are you feeling at at um when it's an HBO show? Like, do you does it automatically mean mean more money or is
01:04:33
it something that they just pay whatever they want because it's a great opportunity that anyone would jump at?
01:04:37
Well, look, it's more like I I guess I I in all honesty, I think my managers and
01:04:44
stuff were surprised by the rate not being as high as they thought. I do think there's enough out there now to
01:04:50
say the the show is not a star developing show, you know, it's not >> Yeah, it when they told me what they
01:04:58
were paying, I was like, that's fine. But um yeah, it's I'm wasn't rolling in it, but I did get to fly business class
01:05:05
heaps and stay in the nicest accommodation I've ever >> Oh my god. Where else? Like Four
01:05:10
Seasons. >> Yeah, Four Seasons. Kosoi. >> Unbelievable. Did it Did it feel like a
01:05:15
holiday or did it like were you just like so focused on doing a great job? >> Yeah, it did kind of feel like a holiday
01:05:20
cuz of course like you've seen it. You my character is not holding a lot of story. I get to go in there and be her
01:05:27
and go again. So there's a lot of waiting around and also because of the nature of shooting people's story lines
01:05:34
when they're not like shooting their story lines. There's a lot of waiting around. If I had,
01:05:39
>> you know, if I didn't have kids or whatever, I would have stayed the whole time. A lot of the young ones just
01:05:43
stayed and then would like go off for a trip to Cambodia up to Japan or everything like that, which is great.
01:05:49
Um, but I went back and forth a bit. >> And Mike, what you have much to do with him?
01:05:54
>> Only on set and I'd see him around. He's a busy busy man. you know, they often
01:05:58
but busy in every sense that he's on set and then you'll see him walking around the hotel because he's just everywhere
01:06:07
>> and he's the loveliest loveliest person. Yeah. >> He's he's created this iconic show.
01:06:12
>> Yeah. >> Like it's just phenomenal. So you So yeah, your role on there you said before
01:06:16
not a not a huge role. So you play Pam who is one of the workers at the hotel. When you have get a job like that that
01:06:22
you want to completely [ __ ] nail. >> Yes. Um, how do you like how do you not overact or overperform?
01:06:29
>> This is great. So, I often work with a great friend of mine, Julia Grace. She
01:06:35
is an acting coach and I've known her for years as friends and she's really come into this space and she's amazing.
01:06:42
So, I often do a little session with her which inevitably usually turns out to be
01:06:47
a bit of a therapy session for my my little ego. But I remember she did this um session with me for Pam. Also,
01:06:56
initially the role was Australian. I said to Mike, "Would you consider me making her a Kiwi? You know, it's a bit
01:07:05
was much more niche. You've never had a Kiwi on the show." And he said something
01:07:08
like, "Oh, sure. Do whatever you like." And I realized you don't know what that means because it's such a huge decision.
01:07:13
And I painted over it for weeks and I was like, "Oh my gosh." to a couple of select friends would sort of like do
01:07:19
them a little bit each being like this or this, this or this. And we always felt like the Australian was funnier. So
01:07:30
I went with the Australian. Julia and I did this session and I I think I was really
01:07:36
I was strongarmming it a bit of wanting to make sure I knew what I was doing. And I think she politely interrogated
01:07:43
like why well well you know you can leave XY Z up to interpretation on the day and stuff and I said I just want to
01:07:51
make sure that I really know exactly what I'm going in with and we kind of uncovered that
01:07:57
a really common piece of direction for me over the years has of is often Morgana can we just
01:08:05
>> pull it back too much too much pull it back do less >> and that was is real embarrassing to get
01:08:13
that direction and it's fine like it's fair enough and she said and I and I just didn't want to have that from Mike
01:08:22
but what's so funny about that fear of mine of course meant and means that you're diminishing yourself and
01:08:29
diminishing your your offers and she said well what would you rather would you rather that after the first day of
01:08:36
shoot Mike White goes home and says to himself well I was really expecting more from Morgana
01:08:42
>> or you say to him, I'm probably going to get really over excited and just give
01:08:46
you heaps and heaps and heaps and feel free to pull me back if you want. >> And I that really hit home. I was like,
01:08:53
oh my god, the thought of him going home and being like I was hoping for more, but just like I was like, "No, not on my
01:08:58
watch, buddy." So I went in there guns blazing was also very clear about that. I was like, and
01:09:07
so when I watched back, I I was I felt very proud cuz I was like, there's an actress who's working her little ass off
01:09:13
with no fear >> to make sure that she is just serving every moment. And because I'm sort of
01:09:18
periphery sometimes in scenes, I got to just have lots of fun. Like there's a scene where I'm
01:09:24
>> [ __ ] around in the background trying to open a blender and that I was just making the art department boys laugh so
01:09:30
much cuz they pretended I couldn't open the blender. And so lots of joy. It meant for lots of joy in that. Um and
01:09:38
Julia was so important to helping me with that. >> You um you seem like me in a lot of ways
01:09:45
in regards to um like just overthinking everything, right? >> Um are you familiar with the term
01:09:50
imposter syndrome? >> Oh yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I think I am. >> Yeah. >> No, I don't know.
01:10:01
I don't know if you're acting right now. Um, did that come into play when you >> Yes. It was so funny cuz like I people
01:10:09
ask how was it? How was it? As though it's a really simple question and it's like this is when I first started
01:10:15
describing how it was when I arrived there and I think somebody at some point went like imposter syndrome. I was like
01:10:21
oh yeah I was overexlaining. So yeah, definitely. I feel like one of my favorite things about traveling in
01:10:29
general is without friends, without family, who's left. And then in this situation, it was sort of like that on
01:10:37
overdrive because you're there for work, >> with friends, without family, without
01:10:42
colleagues, and without reputation because they don't know me. Here I have like a little bit of street cred there.
01:10:50
>> Nobody knows. Uh who are you? what's left. And so it meant a it was wonderful
01:10:57
turning up to set being very familiar with set, finding a great sense of comfort and ease in that space that you
01:11:05
almost get to like it's almost like a magic trick. Nobody's ever seen you or heard of you before and yet you know
01:11:12
that you've got 18 years experience. So you're like, well, watch this. This is easy. This bit. But the social side of
01:11:18
it was like way more challenging. I'm just like, yeah, trying to muster up the strength to go to a pool party.
01:11:29
And then it was fine. That was a journey. And I feel like by the end was able to now I have lovely friends who
01:11:36
hopefully will always be my friends. And everyone is just a human. But at first it was definitely challenging.
01:11:45
>> Abs. Yeah. Sometimes you have to remind yourself that e that every everyone's a
01:11:48
human. Everyone everyone brushes their teeth. Everyone shits the same way. Like we're all just the same.
01:11:54
>> Yeah. >> How was it when it came out? Like did you get to see it in advance or anything
01:11:58
or >> Yeah, I did actually which was really great cuz it was just and actually not
01:12:04
dissimilar to reading the scripts like the scripts. It was great to read the scripts cuz you need to read the
01:12:08
scripts. But then it became like just such a joy to read the scripts because it was like just watching White Lotus.
01:12:15
And then when I got to watch it in advance was great as well. I just got hooked on the series like everybody
01:12:21
else. And then I guess yeah being in it was amazing watching that juggernaut steamroll through Instagram and
01:12:30
everything be a meme for a hot minute. >> Yeah. Would you say it's life-changing
01:12:35
or not really? I I guess so. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. It's opened heaps of doors and Yeah.
01:12:46
>> There's always another version of it, I guess. You know, if my character was a
01:12:50
bigger role and stuff, I think that would have been more life-changing, but it's been
01:12:55
>> um a real firecracker. >> Yeah. Yeah. What an opportunity. You have I've I I have to remind myself
01:13:02
sometimes you get a big opportunity like that and my my immediate the way my brain works I'm immediately thinking oh
01:13:07
this could lead to something even bigger >> and now I have to just be appreciative
01:13:11
and grateful for the thing in front of me and think this might be the opportunity it might not lead to
01:13:17
something bigger this might just be it >> and especially with something like that
01:13:21
cuz I remember feeling like that considering that being excited about that but it's a slowm moving juggernaut
01:13:28
you know you get told one day that it's going to the role is yours and then we're looking at weeks and weeks and
01:13:34
weeks until you're shooting and then a year until it's going to be on t until it's available to anybody. So, um
01:13:44
>> yeah, it's not like something just appears and yeah, everything has changed. It was a slow
01:13:52
moving bulldozer. >> Well, it's been a hell of a decade. So yeah, we've had um White Lotus. Just
01:14:00
before that was the um the winning of an Emmy award. >> Oh yeah. >> Yeah. Where is it? Where?
01:14:04
>> It's on our like sideboard like in our lounge. >> You've had it for a few years now. So
01:14:09
when you walk past it to you know how you if you've got like a nice sea view in your house Yeah.
01:14:13
>> you notice it at the open home. It stands out. Then when you've lived in the house for a couple of years, you
01:14:17
don't even notice it. >> That's right. Yes. It's sort of like that and it's just glorious when
01:14:21
somebody new comes to the house and they sort of go, "Oh shit." You're like, "Oh
01:14:25
yeah." >> Oh, that old thing. >> Oh yeah. That's Yeah, pick it up. It's really heavy.
01:14:29
>> So, this was um for Inside, which was um a best short form series. Um yeah, it's
01:14:36
wild. It's [ __ ] crazy. >> That was so cool. Like that one felt like a you know, if we're talking about
01:14:44
Yeah. Great things that change or like pizzazz moments in the career. I think that one felt like a real
01:14:52
firecracker, a real amazing moment because it was completely unexpected. We made a TV series in our home during co
01:15:01
and it when it was going to premiere, we were going to have a premiier screening
01:15:06
at the Hollywood in Aendale. We went into lockdown. We couldn't do it. Then it was going to premiere on Prime TV. We
01:15:15
had a case come through that night and Prime pulled it. uh which was so like it was just it was all
01:15:23
everything was uphill and um finally came out was great and then yeah and then that happened.
01:15:31
>> Yeah. Yeah. The whole the whole thing was a cluster even the ceremony. So the
01:15:34
ceremony was in New York and um were we still in like lockdown then or we just had travel restrictions?
01:15:41
>> We must have still had travel restrictions. My husband was that was like oh my god what a time. My husband
01:15:48
had to go. Pete was shooting in Sydney. He shot there for 11 weeks over that time cuz we still needed to make an
01:15:55
income. But yeah, poor Pete can't complain about parenting again for some time because I did 11 weeks of solo
01:16:03
parenting during lockdown with no kind, no school, no nothing. And I was like started having panic attack. It was it's
01:16:08
really really really hard especially looking back. Um and we were allowed to be in backyards. I think we'd gotten to
01:16:16
that point and >> Oh, so with socially distanced uh friends, >> you were allowed outdoor interaction by
01:16:23
this point. So that was cool. And uh Dan Musgrove hosted us at their place on their back deck and we watched it and
01:16:31
and to me it was just like, oh yeah, I will I found somewhere to stash the kids for a moment and went over and just to
01:16:38
watch the awards cuz surely we don't win. We just they'll say our name for a second and then we won. It's just the
01:16:45
best >> and like you see the footage online. So there's a room full of people in tuxedos
01:16:50
in New York and it just seems so cruel that you you were not able to be there. >> I know. I couldn't have even
01:16:56
comprehended that. I could not have even I don't even care. The thought of trying
01:17:00
to have getting to New York during that time negotiating the kids you know when the
01:17:06
kids are small sometimes you just go I I just I can't I can't even. And then and
01:17:10
then yeah two weeks or 10 days or whatever in a hotel room in ISO on the way back.
01:17:15
>> Oh my gosh. >> Yeah. We would have still been in Yeah. So it would have just been impossible.
01:17:19
But um yeah, I can't imagine the FOMO and and it was presented by um Method Man. Are you a fan of um Wuang Clan?
01:17:24
>> I'm basically in Wuang now cuz he presented it. I love Wuang. >> Unbelievable.
01:17:33
>> Yeah. It was such a thrill. Oh my gosh. Amazing. So, you know, so you're sitting
01:17:37
on the balcony instead of sitting out on the deck outside and your name gets called out. Then what?
01:17:41
>> And then we and then we go, "Yay!" And then I go home and back to parenting. I
01:17:45
was also laughing about that as well cuz you know, I was just like, "We've just run an Emmy and I'm like wiping butts
01:17:51
over here. No one cares. >> Yeah, life goes on. Life goes on. It's fine." >> Um, and then it's Well, how long after
01:17:58
the ceremony do you get it >> then? What? It must have taken a few months cuz Yeah, cuz it's kind of
01:18:04
amazing. Oh, you also have to pay so much to have it sent over. And I think they give you a certain
01:18:12
amount for free which comes with the winning and then if you need other people like to have you have to pay
01:18:18
$1,000 per one or something like that >> and it costs something like $1,000 to send it over.
01:18:25
>> Anyway, they come over in these amazing, beautiful big boxes. I think if you scroll back through my Instagram, you'll
01:18:31
find um the unboxing of the Emmy. It's all very grand and gorgeous. >> Yeah. >> Wow.
01:18:39
>> It's cool. It's a really cool thing to um that you and your husband won it together.
01:18:44
>> Yes. I know cuz we actually worked together that much. >> Uh so to have for it to be that and then we obviously
01:18:55
worked together on Stories about my body as the film. So, which is cool because when I first met him on the corner of
01:19:02
Malbury and Spring Street in New York, he uh was introduced to me and our friend told us that they had made like a
01:19:12
little short film together when he was in New York last and and our friend said, "Oh, we should do this something
01:19:17
like that again." And so, the first thing that Pete said to me was, "Let's make a movie."
01:19:22
>> And so, yeah, >> that's cool. >> That took us a minute. I can tell um when when you speak about him, your eyes
01:19:27
sort of light up. You have this sort of like glow in your eyes. Seems like there's a lot of love there even after
01:19:31
all these years. >> Yes, totally. He's a good man. He's such a He's such a score.
01:19:36
>> Is he? >> Totally. >> I'd say the same about you. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I think so. I think we both feel so
01:19:44
lucky to have >> and that we that we found each other in in Manhattan. Like he grew up on the
01:19:51
Northshore and I grew up in Pon. We he was a director and I'm an actor. The fact that we hadn't met before felt very
01:20:00
fertuitous. Yeah. >> In New Zealanders and in other countries around the world, you you're sort of
01:20:06
drawn together like magnets, aren't you? >> Yeah. Sometimes. E. Yeah, that's right.
01:20:10
M and >> it feels like um I I was trying to chart it yesterday like if you look at your
01:20:15
internet movie database like you've been very very busy throughout your entire career but it feels like would would
01:20:20
this be wrong in saying like from a New Zealand perspective it feels like it was
01:20:23
Mean Moms. >> Is that when you sort of >> was that your first sort of prominent or
01:20:28
big role here? >> I wouldn't have I guess it was and but I didn't sort of note it as that. I mean I
01:20:34
>> No, you were so busy before that. >> Yeah. And also like Mean Moms is a real grassroots, super low budget. Um, it's
01:20:42
so beloved and I'm so glad that it's lived cuz it's great show. >> Um, yeah. I I guess like Housebound fel
01:20:50
felt like a turning point in some ways uh on on the big screen like that. Yeah. >> And even like Yeah. Pre uh Mean Moms,
01:21:00
you you um were on Neighbors for 203 episodes. >> Yeah. A character called Naomi Katting.
01:21:06
Uh two three episodes over eight years. Yeah. >> Which is crazy. What did you get?
01:21:10
>> That was that was two years. That was 18 months of shoot over two years. >> Oh, okay.
01:21:15
>> Yeah. Okay. >> And cuz I that would have been in 2013. No, 14 and 15. Yeah. I'd been in Sydney
01:21:25
and been really broke and all that stuff. and then got auditioned for auditioned for Neighbors for to start in
01:21:34
2014 for a three-year contract. And I just was so used to auditioning for things
01:21:40
that I never got. So, I just did it without thinking. Even though in 2014 I was hoping to I wanted to go up to New
01:21:48
York to the Atlantic School of Acting and I wanted to take the height of the Eiffel Room show. I wanted to take it to
01:21:54
the Edinburgh Fringe and um and then I did the recall audition and I was like, "Oh [ __ ] I think I might have gotten
01:22:02
quite close to this role." So I told my agent I had a big freak out. I was like,
01:22:06
"I can't do three years. I can't do three years. I'm 27. This is the last three years of my of my 20s. I can't be
01:22:12
on Neighbors." No. like uh that was me being a snob. And so I gave them every reason to not hire me. And then they
01:22:21
came back and went, "How about 18 months?" And I was like, "Okay." And they're like, "How about you take 2
01:22:27
months off to go to Edinburgh?" And I was like, "Okay." And they're like, "We'll pay you this
01:22:31
much." I'm like, "Okay." >> It's funny how these things work. They they can almost smell desperate
01:22:36
desperation like if you want a job too badly. >> It's right. And so it worked out great.
01:22:39
I went to Edinburgh and did the show up there which having been on [ __ ] Neighbors was like so helpful. I have
01:22:46
never in my life still to this day felt as famous as I did in Edinburgh having been on
01:22:52
>> currently on Neighbors. >> Oh helpful in that way in terms of profile. I was thinking helpful in terms
01:22:57
of um like being on a fast-paced soap. >> Oh no. In terms of like you're in up at
01:23:03
that fringe, you know, you're in amongst something like 2,000 shows. How do you get your show seen? And so it was very
01:23:09
helpful that you know that's what I had on my side. And then it was like so crazy being I'd be sitting in a pub with
01:23:17
somebody and someone would come up and just go take a photo. It was just like out out of this world. It's hilarious.
01:23:23
>> In terms of acting, what did neighbors do for you? Like being on a show like that where it's one take wonders and
01:23:29
fast turnaround. >> It's a great place to play. My darling friend Hannah Marshall, she was in Pack
01:23:33
to the Rafters at the time or just before that and she said she made a great point. The great thing about doing
01:23:38
a show like that is that you get to really play around and try to do things that you don't often get to do. Try and
01:23:45
yawn in a scene. I don't know, see how you go. Like things like that. So I use the analogy with all the TV and film
01:23:53
that I do is different kitchens. We're making different food and neighbors is we're making fast food.
01:24:01
>> It's comfort food. It tastes good on a hangover. It's always the it's always the same. Uh, but it [ __ ] teaches you
01:24:08
the kitchen, you know? So, um, very good like that. And then very fun to just No
01:24:14
one has time to tell me to not do things. So, I can just have lots of fun. And like I think for about a month I
01:24:21
tried to get a banana in as many scenes as I could. And not to the detriment of the scene. Like not every single scene,
01:24:27
but sometimes I just, you know, my character be doing yoga outside. Can I get a banana? just sitting there holding
01:24:34
that just like was I didn't want it to ruin anything just to keep you know keep it fun and
01:24:40
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I I suppose a show like that it doesn't take itself too
01:24:43
seriously. It knows what it is. >> It knows what it is. >> Yeah. What do you think has been the
01:24:47
hardest point of your career? >> Probably there a few things come to mind that year that I told you the 2023 where
01:24:56
that was really hard. There has been some other like sort of close calls. Mhm. >> At one point just after Housebound had
01:25:04
came come out um we Pete and I were in India actually and very newly just found out that I was
01:25:11
pregnant and we got an email I got an email from my agent just before around Christmas that the casting agent of
01:25:20
Orange is the New Black had seen Housebound and loved me in it and was creating a TV pilot with Gingi Khan that
01:25:30
writer and Gus Vans who directed Goodwill Hunting, you know, >> and was wanted me to audition for that.
01:25:37
So, I auditioned in a mud hut village in the Th Desert cuz that's all that we had in um at
01:25:44
hand. I was like, "Oh my god, they're going to think we've gone so hard out, but beside the point." um got back to
01:25:50
Melbourne and then the casting agent was really lovely and very personable telling me
01:25:58
that I was actually getting really close to this [ __ ] role that would been shooting in Massachusetts in the winter.
01:26:05
>> And I sort of realized it got to the point where I was going to have to tell her that I was pregnant. the role
01:26:11
required a bit of nudity and you know violence and she took that information went back
01:26:19
to the writer director and came back and said all good she'll only be 3 months we
01:26:23
can it's going to we can work around it all good um and she was saying things like I'm going to fight for you on this
01:26:29
role and everything like that and I was like holy [ __ ] this is incredible >> and so it came to a point where I had to
01:26:35
go to the producers at Neighbors and ask would they be so kind to let me out of my contract if I was to get this role
01:26:42
and they said no and so I had to pull out of the running and I couldn't I still may have not have got that job but
01:26:49
I remember >> walking around the set of neighbors like hadn't even told them that I was
01:26:55
pregnant my clothes have just started getting tight and muttering under my breath I just said no to HBO I just said
01:27:02
no to HBO just said like oh my god um yeah and then there was also yeah like times where I I felt like I
01:27:11
really wanted to be making work, making work, but I just couldn't. I just felt impotent. Like I just couldn't make it
01:27:16
happen for whatever reason. >> And sometimes the harder you the harder you try, like there's a saying um what's
01:27:22
what's meant for me won't pass me by or something. I'm probably botching it, but
01:27:26
it's um it's true in a way. And sometimes the harder you try and force things to happen, the less likely it is
01:27:31
to happen. >> That's right. You have to push through to something. Authenticity is on the
01:27:36
other other side. funnily enough, we were watching Groundhog Day again recently, and that is an amazing fable
01:27:43
in that sense >> of like trying to put his his character goes through, having fun with it, making
01:27:49
fun of it, um trying to kill himself over and over, um then trying to get it perfectly right, knowing everything,
01:27:56
still not working, and then just having to go, >> I'm just going to try and be as good a
01:28:01
person as possible. I don't know, I'll just be me. And that does it in the end. It sets him free.
01:28:07
It's probably not the case now now that you're now that you're 40 and you've got
01:28:10
two kids that are in late primary school age, but um has there been times over your over your career where you've
01:28:16
enjoyed the idea of like being a struggling artist? Is there something quite romantic about that?
01:28:20
>> Yeah, absolutely. I think there's something really activating about it and a and in times of like long
01:28:27
being busy for long periods doing other people's work which is totally delicious
01:28:33
and glorious and have found longing for that the danger of of the middle moments
01:28:43
>> and that that's activating >> if you allow it to be activating can be incredibly frustrating and um disarming,
01:28:52
but there's something I actually remember uh watching that documentary about that the fighter Zoe
01:29:00
Macintosh directed it and in that the the coaches saying how these these fighters
01:29:08
they fight like crazy until they start sleeping real comfortable, you know, till they start making enough money that
01:29:14
they're living in luxury and it kind of >> can take your edge away sometimes. >> Yeah. I've had um Dan Hooker on the
01:29:20
podcast who's a UFC guy and his saying is something like it's hard to hard to get punched in the face when you're
01:29:24
sleeping on satin sheets or something like that. >> I like Yes. Wow. >> Yeah. >> Oh, he just stole someone else's quote
01:29:32
and repurposed it. >> That's what's true. That's really interesting. Yeah. So, trying to welcome
01:29:39
>> the gr the crunchy moments, you know. I think that's a good >> Can't be easy when both you and your
01:29:44
husband are in the same boat. Like if if he's got work and you haven't, that's fine. or vice versa. But if you're both
01:29:49
in a >> dead patch, that must be terrifying. >> Oh, when we're both in the dead patch,
01:29:55
that's quite funny. Yeah. >> Well, no, cuz we're both just constantly generating stuff. What we're not good at
01:30:03
is relaxing into those dead patches and making the most of them and going like maybe we should go spend some of the
01:30:10
saved money that we have on holiday >> because we have the time now. But of course you have zero job security. So um
01:30:18
>> you need that rainy day fund. >> Yeah. And I and we have the rainy day fund but but that's for that time. So uh
01:30:25
we we could definitely need to be better at um relaxing into those lulls, >> but we're so we're constantly working
01:30:32
and activating and writing and generating >> and then sometimes we're both working at
01:30:37
the same time. That's probably the hardest. But >> yeah, >> it's interest. The hustle never stops. E
01:30:42
it's funny. And I suppose it's part of being an actor that most people wouldn't >> sometimes you have to be like back off,
01:30:47
chill out, enjoy this moment, go and do something for leisure, leisur's sake, you've earned it. It's all right. I
01:30:54
think those patterns of thought about I must, I must, I must. And yeah, that's the challenge.
01:31:01
>> Um, and are your kids doomed to the same future? Good >> question. I know your son's been on um
01:31:07
the Robin, incredible Robin Malcolm show after party. Yes, >> he's got a taste of it already.
01:31:13
>> Yeah, I think both of them love love performing arts, any arts, but that's because they are it's as normal in their
01:31:22
family to do it as something in another family. I don't know to be a lawyer or something, you know. For my
01:31:29
40th, >> for my 40th, my son played the piano while my mother did a dance. And then I
01:31:38
said to my daughter, "Luna, do you want to do do you want to do a performance with Ziggy and Gaga?" And she goes, "No,
01:31:44
I think I'll just do some standup >> and she just did some standup." Wow. >> And she was fabulous.
01:31:50
>> Yeah. >> So, I definitely can imagine that because it's just a normal way of life
01:31:56
for them. So, they wouldn't be doing anything crazy. Probably in our in our world, maybe if they were like, "I'm
01:32:03
going to I'm going to go into accountancy," I'd be like, "Whoa. Oh yeah. >> Oh, that would be quite comforting
01:32:10
though. It's like, okay, retirement's going to be okay. Got someone to look after me,
01:32:14
>> I guess. So, I don't know. I think I often ask myself like what is the thing that my kid would say to me that would
01:32:22
evoke a shock and horror in me the way that I don't know 50 years ago telling some your parent gay or something would
01:32:29
make them go. Obviously, none of that would phase me. I'd be amazing, gorgeous. I think if she was 18 and
01:32:36
said, "I just want to get married and settle down and devote myself to Jesus." I'd be like, "Oh gosh." Okay. Whoa,
01:32:42
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You want to travel? You want to try? You want to take some drugs? I'll buy you
01:32:47
the drugs. I don't know. Like, come on. >> Here's the tickets. I totally I'll get
01:32:52
you a ticket. That would sort you right out. >> Take some. And if you don't see Jesus,
01:32:57
then he doesn't exist. >> That's right. And maybe like who? Yeah, totally. She Jesus could be a woman.
01:33:02
Come on. M >> what a time to be alive. Oh, you got another show coming up, too. There's a
01:33:07
there's a show called Bust Up. >> There's a show called Bust Up >> and it must be When did you film this?
01:33:12
>> In July, August last year. >> Okay. It's It's been called a queer buddy cop show set in the Bay of
01:33:18
Islands. So, you you play a cop and you get teamed up with your ex. >> Yeah. >> And um it must be a really good show
01:33:24
because um Neon are going quite hard on it in terms of the publicity and stuff. So, I've seen this before, like there's
01:33:32
shows that get made and then they just sort of get buried, right? >> Um, but they're going in terms of
01:33:35
publicity, they're going quite hard on this show, which makes me think they must um really believe in it and think
01:33:40
it's going to be a great show. >> Great. I'm glad. >> How do you feel about it? >> I feel like it'll be a great show. I
01:33:45
think people are going to love it. >> It's a really wonderfully equal parts quirky and funny and heartfelt. It's a
01:33:54
love story at its heart, but with the puzzles that come with a crime show of the audience getting to enjoy figuring
01:34:02
out who did it and why. >> Is it Is this your first time playing a gay character,
01:34:09
>> I guess? So, no. No, it's not. >> No, >> but it's my first time playing a cop.
01:34:18
>> How have you gone 20 years without playing a cop? That seems wild. >> I know. I I was at um a kid birthday
01:34:25
party a few months ago and my son's friend's dad and I were chatting and I was like, "What do you do?" And he said,
01:34:32
"I'm a cop." And I was like so close to saying, "Me, too." >> And you pulled yourself and reminded
01:34:39
yourself you're a doctor. >> I'm I just played a cop. And he's like, "Oh, you're an actor." And I was like,
01:34:43
"Yeah." >> Uh, that was fun. >> Can you tell from the script if a show is going to be good or a movie's going
01:34:50
to be good? >> I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, >> but then you need to also know who's
01:34:56
making it and who's directing, who's producing, what network it's for. All these just add different clues as to
01:35:04
what flavor it's going to be and to what caliber maybe. >> And a show like this >> and you can totally get it wrong as
01:35:12
well, you know. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's paper and bringing it to life, which are two
01:35:15
different things, isn't there? Um, a show like this where like onscreen chemistry is like super super important.
01:35:21
Do you get a say in who you're going to be acting with or you just get thrown with someone and you have to make it
01:35:26
work? I think I don't know if anyone asked me explicitly but Roy Mata and I did chemistry reads for the producers
01:35:34
and director so they could obviously see I mean I think as an actor sometimes you
01:35:39
can be a bit cynical about a chemistry read cuz you figure like you can kind of picture it but no it's great to have a
01:35:49
little jam together and >> see if it clicks you know >> and and what's the difference between
01:35:55
like um a HBO show like White Lotus and then doing a like a New Zealand copy show in the Bay of Islands behind the
01:36:02
scenes. >> Do you even get your own changing room or your own >> Oh, yes. That's a nice new addition to
01:36:09
one's career is a trailer which has its own bathroom which is so nice. >> That's extra.
01:36:17
>> Yeah. So, that's lovely. Yeah. No, it's great. >> Um, what about career goals for the
01:36:22
future? Are our goals even possible in this line of work? >> Great question. I guess so. I'm writing
01:36:29
a book and that's kind of stories about my body adjacent and I have a deadline otherwise I have to give my advance
01:36:37
back. So >> all $3,000 of yeah [ __ ] to give it back. Um, and lots of writing and creating
01:36:47
there are really now I see very clearly that I want to be in the creative driver's seat a little bit more.
01:36:56
>> And I think that's probably all I can goal for, right? Otherwise, apart from that, like I hope more people hire me
01:37:03
for their shows. >> Yeah. I I think and there's never been a better time to be an independent creator
01:37:07
and take more control of your own destiny in terms of >> go on. >> Yeah. in terms of like like YouTube and like
01:37:14
podcasting and stuff. >> That's true. There is a real um >> it removes the gatekeeper.
01:37:18
>> There's there's a lot of places that you can turn to. Yeah. >> So, how many words are you up to in your
01:37:23
book? >> Uh 30,000. >> And you got to do 70 to 90,000. >> 70,000. >> 70,000. Do you I've written a book
01:37:30
before, by the way. Worst hourly rate I've ever made in my life. But but the most rewarding thing when you open up
01:37:35
that brown package and the fluff comes out and you get the first copy of the book. It's the most amazing thing.
01:37:39
>> That sounds amazing. But do you write a paragraph and then check the word count
01:37:42
to see how many? >> Yeah. Like I trying to be definitely the start far out. It is grueling.
01:37:49
>> Yeah. >> And then some days I'm like in flow and others other days I'm like one sentence
01:37:54
and like yuck and I'm out. >> Sorry. >> Um one thing about writing though which which I found I don't know if you've got
01:38:00
the same experience but um you start writing and it unlocks other memories that you didn't even
01:38:05
>> Yeah. >> Things that you've forgotten. you're like it's like pulling on a thread and
01:38:09
then it leads to something else. >> And and then I've been really enjoying that cuz it's sort of bio biographical
01:38:14
in and using my body as the template of my life so far. And um I'll be really enjoying writing one chapter about XY Z
01:38:25
and just chuckling away. And then you get to the end of that story and it's like oh god it's like the vast desert of
01:38:32
possibility. >> Oh my god. Oh, you're gonna be you're gonna be so anxious when it comes out.
01:38:38
Does it involve other people or are you are you like quite good at clearing stories that involve other people with
01:38:43
them or changing names or Tom? Do I need to do that? No, I think that's Yeah. Yeah, we'll get all that sorted.
01:38:51
>> Yeah. Yeah. The the publishers can deal with that. >> Yes. >> Um are you happy? When have you been
01:38:55
your happiest, do you think? >> Ah, I have so many moments of happiness all the time.
01:39:03
uh is I don't know if happiness is a total like destination that you stay in. I don't believe that. So I think life is
01:39:12
just really lovely at the moment. It's been a little like I said at the start I just went straight in. I've been really
01:39:19
sad for a month, but I'm getting over that and I can feel a change a foot and I feel so I had a re revelation the
01:39:28
other day like being trying trying to be better at recognizing that things are good and so actually I
01:39:37
have this thing with my kids if I ask them what is life filled with and they say pain and I say and that's why we
01:39:45
have to find the joys like trying to trying to be really articulate about acknowledging when you're having a joy
01:39:52
in life >> is very helpful. Uh and realizing that I'm not such a ke I I didn't like saying
01:39:59
I'm feel thankful for something cuz I it made me feel small and grovey but feeling grateful for lots of things um
01:40:08
>> to open my chest and make me feel more present. >> Oh, practicing gratitude is is great.
01:40:12
It's amazing. If you can start to appreciate the small things like sitting on a de deck with a I know you're a
01:40:18
green tea drinker. >> Thank you. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. If you're sitting out there and
01:40:23
there's a there's like a glorious sunrise and you can be in that moment and appreciate it. Um it makes you even
01:40:28
more more grateful for the huge things, the white lotus opportunities of the world.
01:40:32
>> That's right. And life is slow moving. I think the >> I don't know what this is. I feel like
01:40:38
I've watched enough documentaries about artists They make you think a 30-year career
01:40:45
happens in 90 minutes. >> These these achievements and successes are slow moving. Sometimes there's a
01:40:55
real like yay moment and then they come and they go and you coast through and you just find pockets of joy. And
01:41:05
sometimes the joy comes from doing the job itself, >> being in the workplace with the people
01:41:11
that you're working with. Most of the time that's where the real joy exists and not in the validation at the end.
01:41:17
>> Like I learned early on to to realign my focal point, my ey line from the end
01:41:25
where it comes out on tally and everyone's like, "Wow." to moving it closer to what's actually in front of me
01:41:32
because um then you'll be a really happy person. >> Yeah. >> When do you feel most like yourself?
01:41:40
You're constantly playing other people for a living and you do it very well. When is it? Is it at home? At home just
01:41:44
with your your husband and your kids. >> No, actually sometimes I feel mostly myself when I'm able to be social
01:41:52
>> and chatting away. I guess it's probably like everyone and like a mix of everything. If I've been on my own for
01:41:57
too long, I actually feel like who I am on my own is like really serious, really
01:42:04
emo and like and then it's like such a joy to be with people and get to have chats and uh then there's oh there's my
01:42:12
fizzy self, there's a playful person. >> Well, otherwise I suppose you just get in your own thoughts, don't you?
01:42:18
>> I know. I think if surely all of us are just as there's so many sides to all of
01:42:23
us that depending on where you are and the time of day and if you've eaten or not
01:42:29
>> is if that's true to who you are that's true to who you are. >> What about best and worst habits?
01:42:35
>> What do you think they are? Or what would what would Peter say they were? >> Oh,
01:42:40
I hope he would agree that actually look I think this is the it's a good and bad
01:42:45
thing about being older, right? is like I feel everything now is just optimizing
01:42:51
my health and wellbeing. So I know that again like I have I've got great habits of making sure my body is moving as much
01:43:01
as I can and that I eat like better than I ever have. Like I really focus on that. and worst habits.
01:43:12
Sometimes I feel like there can be a habit in being too like uh foroding joy or predicting doom like a little bit too
01:43:21
much on that and that actually understanding most things kind of turn out fine >> and that we're here to have a good time.
01:43:30
So that's a bad probably a bad habit. >> Oh my god, that's relatable. Yeah. Catastrophizing.
01:43:35
>> Yeah. or I I saw something I think it was in the Richie McCo movie of all things and leading up to the what the
01:43:42
2011 Rugby World Cup people would come up to him and say, "Oh, what if you lose? What if you lose?" And he's like,
01:43:46
"Yeah, but what if you win?" And you got to if you're going to entertain the worst case scenario, you're also obliged
01:43:51
to entertain the best case scenario. And the end result's probably somewhere in the in the middle.
01:43:56
>> That's so true. And I think that is much akin I kind of think being in this industry as a performer is akin to being
01:44:05
an athlete. There's a certain level of delusion that is required to think that you have any chance in hell and uh and
01:44:12
to just be able to focus on the positive because you'll eat yourself alive if you
01:44:17
don't. >> When was the last time you cried? >> This morning. >> Really? >> Yeah. My daughter was having a really
01:44:26
hard time getting to school and I just, you know, and I was just having a real parent moment where half of me
01:44:36
was [ __ ] annoyed that she was not doing exactly what I wanted her to do and I didn't feel like she's helping herself
01:44:48
and whatever. And the other half of me is her and feeling for her as she's having this moment. And those two
01:44:55
feelings are in combatants. And >> they bring out a really sometimes a great parent in me and sometimes not so
01:45:02
great parent. And so yeah, >> in the end I just took her out of school for when got a coffee with her.
01:45:09
>> Oh, bless. >> And that was really lovely. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I mean, a moment like that is probably
01:45:16
more beneficial than a couple of hours of school. >> That's right. And it's funny because I I
01:45:21
I did that thing. I still I still don't know what trying to find that balance of
01:45:27
um validating my children's problems but also trying to shed some light on perspective.
01:45:33
She was feeling stressed about school. She's in her last year of primary school and kind of dropping her off and going
01:45:39
like basically shit's going to get worse, you know, like I know I think you might find that you're looking back and
01:45:48
it's worse and so I think you've got it in you. You're fine, but also we can pull back bedtime a little bit because
01:45:54
you're really fighting me on that at night all this stuff sort of. And she's crying and oh god, goodbye. I'll see you
01:46:01
after school. and I take my son to his class and drop him off and then I just feel yuck because I feel like it's not
01:46:08
finished and I have not >> I didn't have the capacity that I I I would hope for um hearing her problems
01:46:17
and just being really warm. So I sort of went back and looked in the class to make sure she was all there. couldn't
01:46:22
quite see her headed off and we bumped into each other and she was at her bag in tears and having some water and and
01:46:28
so it was actually nice to be like okay let's go for a coffee so it was just a process which in the end was an
01:46:35
enriching process to our to our relationship but it um yeah >> what's your biggest fear
01:46:42
>> uh that they will get kidnapped and uh horribly murdered and I will never know
01:46:47
what happened to them. Oh Jesus. That is absolutely my worst fear. >> Okay. Okay. I'll give you that's fine.
01:46:55
That is definitely THE BIGGEST. >> OH GOD. >> THAT IS that is extreme worst case
01:46:59
scenario. Yeah. >> What is my worst fear beyond that? Anything to do with them being hurt.
01:47:07
Anything >> not being there for them or >> Yeah. Uh snakes. And beyond snakes. Beyond the the head
01:47:16
of a snake. The stupid little [ __ ] head. Um, beyond that, oh, I think probably
01:47:24
reaching um a point in my life and and thinking I I had time and I didn't use it.
01:47:31
>> And I uh that I didn't do the things that I thought I either wanted to or was
01:47:38
capable of doing. That really that idea bums me out big time. >> Are you on track?
01:47:44
>> Kind of. I this sounds so luxurious, but I'm like we've got to do the travel.
01:47:50
>> I want to have a life of adventure and we work very uh inconsistent times. Our
01:48:01
income is inconsistent and so that stuff gets put off and I and I want to make sure that we are going on
01:48:09
adventures. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Well, we talked earlier in the podcast about those adventures you went on with
01:48:13
your mom. Exactly. They mean a lot and I I think they're really imperative to bringing up children. If you can if you
01:48:19
you don't have to go to [ __ ] Estambul, okay? You can go to >> T. The Grand Bazaar is pretty good.
01:48:27
>> But you can go go out of your comfort zone and be with your kids and have a good time and show them that life exists
01:48:35
outside of your neighborhood, outside of your belief systems and your Yeah, that's what I want to make.
01:48:41
>> Do you have any regrets? Yes, but only making my daughter cry it out when she was like one and a half.
01:48:50
>> Oh, why? She wouldn't remember that, would she? Actually, you had pram thoughts. That was your earliest memory.
01:48:55
>> Yeah. Prem thought. >> How did you make her cry at one and a half? >> Oh, well, did the cry cry every day at
01:49:00
that age? >> Did the cry it out thing? >> Oh, you she was crying and you just let
01:49:04
her >> Yeah, cuz we're just desperate for sleep >> and it's what we had to do. I don't
01:49:08
know. >> You just locked her in a room. locked her in a room and >> we did the 5 10 15 method, whatever that
01:49:14
is. >> Yeah. She we just left her in the locked her in a room for 10 days and uh we had
01:49:21
one of those little feeders and she never cried again. So I really regret that. I really really
01:49:29
regret that. Uh that I which is kind of a full on thing to say. I'm sure there's
01:49:35
plenty of people out there listening who have done exactly that. They're like, "Shut up. It's fine and it's fine. Do
01:49:40
whatever. But that's literally my only regret. >> But as as you get older, you realize
01:49:45
that everyone's just trying generally trying the best they can with the tools they've got. So,
01:49:49
>> and also as you become an older parent, you realize that small ch like that time
01:49:55
with having babies and toddlers is absolutely finite >> and that they are not they don't sleep.
01:50:01
They all they want to do is be with you. They can't self- settle. You have to just be you just have to lump it and
01:50:06
just [ __ ] get over it. >> Yeah. >> Oh, is that terrible? People are going to hate me.
01:50:11
>> Oh, don't don't Yeah. Don't beat yourself up about that. >> Three words family or friends would use
01:50:19
to describe you. >> Wow. >> If Peter, Luna, and Ziggy were in the room next door and the the guys in the
01:50:26
office were canvasing them for words, what would they say about you? hopefully um
01:50:33
fun >> and warm and loud. >> Two out of three good words. Oh, no. Actually, they're all good words.
01:50:46
>> Yeah, loud's great. >> Yeah. You think that's what they'd say? >> And are you happy with those three
01:50:51
words? If that's what they would say. >> I hope they would say that. I hope they
01:50:53
would say that. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> That's cool. God, you love your family. I can. Yeah. Just the way you
01:51:00
>> I do. I love them so much and I I really I think I feel a great >> kind of um
01:51:08
it's an interesting time in my life to be I I've lived a most of my career or since I was 15 dreaming of these kind of
01:51:17
like fantastical career >> opportunities that usually involve shooting in Morocco for months and you
01:51:25
know like and the the reality of how that impacts my family at the moment has changed the way I dream
01:51:34
>> about what I want and that's that's okay. I'm sort of like coming to terms with it, getting my head around it. Also
01:51:40
reminding myself that time just goes on. Like if you have to work somewhere for a
01:51:44
couple of months and if it just so happens that it is going to be less disruptive for them to stay here and be
01:51:51
without me for a couple of months, then maybe that's been I don't know. >> Oh, is that like a a mom guilt thing?
01:51:58
>> I guess so. I I want to be the best mom that I can. I don't want to drop the ball because I want to go and shoot a
01:52:05
fancy thing for a few months. >> Yeah. >> Does it feel self-indulgent in a way? >> Maybe like what if it comes to that
01:52:11
point like an incredible >> job opportunity but like the disruption to the family will be so great that like
01:52:18
that's not fair >> on them if I do that. >> Oh my god. Adulting is so complex, isn't
01:52:25
it? >> It's complex. That's a really good word because it's like, >> yeah, >> there's no right or wrong answer.
01:52:30
>> That's right. And and I feel very grateful and everything's all good, but that it's just complex now.
01:52:35
>> And last one, are you proud of yourself? >> I am. I'm really proud. I'm really
01:52:41
proud. I think this this film project especially which is such a labor of love and I I always think about as we're
01:52:50
about to release it out into the world and I think back on deciding to make a boosted campaign to try and get it up on
01:52:58
its feet and I remember just feeling so like I was standing at the bottom of Mount Everest. M
01:53:05
>> I felt so awful to ask people for money while the world is burning and everyone
01:53:12
came through with such kindness. So this film every frame is funded by kindness and favors and like and but the whole
01:53:20
way has just been like a slow push on this rock and if I had stopped at any point that push the rock would have
01:53:26
stopped. >> So um it's amazing that it can just be a slow push. Here we go. How much did you
01:53:34
need? What sort of cost goes into these things? >> We in the end we raised 30,000 from
01:53:39
Boosted and we had another 20 from private investors. >> So $50,000 is >> that is so cheap.
01:53:46
>> Is cheap. >> And well done. This we called in all the favors. >> Well done. Well, the bits I've seen it
01:53:52
looks really really good. >> Thank you. >> It looks uh It doesn't look cheap. >> Yeah. Good.
01:53:59
>> Hey, this has been a lot of fun. >> Ah, this has been so lovely. Thank you so much.
01:54:03
>> Thank you for this therapy session. >> How Yeah. How are you going to be over
01:54:06
this being being an overthinker? Like are you going to be driving home in your very very silent e vehicle?
01:54:11
>> Um like just like >> going over it. >> Vulner like a vulnerability hangover. >> Uh
01:54:18
probably not on the drive. Maybe like at 3:00 a.m. this morning when the dog wakes me for a second and I I emerge
01:54:25
from sleep just enough to kick off a cortisol boost and then I'm lying there going
01:54:33
Well, this has been a lot of fun. It's been a couple of years in the making and I'm so pleased we finally
01:54:36
>> know. I feel really glad. No, I won't regret I won't regret any of it, Tom. I
01:54:40
feel like I've spoken from the heart. You've asked such lovely questions and it's been great.
01:54:44
>> Oh, thank you. It's been wonderful to connect. Morgana O'Reilly, thank you so
01:54:48
much. And um we're finished in time for you to get to the school run.