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Runners only with dom Harvey and Mia motor g'day hello it's so nice to have you
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here I'm sorry I'm a little bit croaky today I'm a little bit sick but I we
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were supposed to catch up yesterday I postponed it I didn't want to postpone
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it again because I've been I've been fizzing about this it's so nice to have
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you here oh thank you finally finally now we we were supposed to do this podcast about two months ago right and
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um you you you canceled it because you were you were too nervous to do it without your coach prison and your coach
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was over in England this is before the Sunday documentary before the fight before everything why why were you so
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shy why were you so nervous because I wasn't I don't know anything I'm like oh
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right and then but now you're sweet ass yeah no if it is no I'm not afraid to
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speak about speak about anything really yeah uncomfortable ass that's what was
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the what was the ripping the the I mean because you've been so honest and all
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the interviews you've done I I guess it started with the Sunday documentary on
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tvnz1 um was that sort of like the turning point for you um I feel like when when I do speak I
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like the fish is talking talking about my story like I need just like I felt more comfortable with my coach being
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there supporting me because he understands it so if any if there was a boundary where I felt unsettled he would
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be I would feel okay to speak about that right so like a like a safety blanket or
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support person or something like a support person yeah yeah so that's um Isaac page we're going to get into into
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him later on in your relationship with him because that seems something special yeah
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you even got the name of his like gym tattooed on your head what is it what does it say peach boxing
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Peach boxing it's the logo that's a commitment do you have free membership
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for that no he should have a deal like if you get the Nick head or you get free membership
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okay so how are you you good yeah I'm really good yeah yeah surviving so we're
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recording this um how long it was the fight two weeks ago yeah two weeks ago you saw your
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weekend a bit so you're now the world champion yeah so what is what does that
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mean exactly from your perspective what's different in your life now oh the only thing that's different in my
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life is that people are recognizing me but I'm still just me I'm not gonna
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change yeah has there been like a noticeable shift in that I'm guessing the Sunday piece had a lot to do with
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that because it was an incredible story yeah and you were you were very honest and a lot of people watch that like did
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you did you notice like immediately after that like more people it's like oh
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hey Mia a little bit not as much I feel like as soon as between two beers came out that's that's when it started like
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the podcast there these people were like talking about it and then it was my fight on the night of fight for life I
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just went crazy I was like what the heck there's too much people here because
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like I'm a person who like if they followed me I'll follow them back and
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I'm like oh well I get excited when people follow me so I'm like yeah I follow you that cool but you you I mean
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you like you you look you're so recognizable and you seem so nice and approachable as well so I I guess it's
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like the perfect storm like yeah people people aren't afraid to approach you do
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you know what I mean even though you're a ferocious [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah yeah I
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I'm only a nightmare in the rain I'm not a nightmare outside the ring I'm real
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friendly yeah yeah I'm always kind yeah all right um yeah how are you coping with the fame
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are you loving it I don't really mind yeah I just carry on being me I think I just gotta stop
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getting to invested in like trying to be like oh hello people and like you know when people reach up I get like so
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invested like oh you know when the people like that have suffered through things I kind of try to take it on board
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myself which is challenging because like I understand those people and it's so hard
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to deny them do you know like what they've been through their walk-up life so like I can
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get so caught up and it's it can drain my energy yeah absolutely but I and I
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suppose this is a problem like a yeah the problem is a weird word because it's
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like a it's a situation you've created for yourself um by being so open and so vulnerable
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with your own story um but yeah it's an energy zapper if you take too much of that on isn't it yeah
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that's not your job either something yeah and then I neglect my own well-being yeah and yeah yeah I mean
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you've only got so much in it there's only so much media to go around yeah
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yeah yeah I wish I could give it up and and um how did you cope um one thing I thought about so the Sunday documentary
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went to here yeah and then your world title fight was 11 days after that how did you cope with the the pressure and
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the expectation it was hard yeah it was hard it was a little bit frustrating because I was
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like I kind of lost like I really learned a lot in this like where I lost myself as
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a fighter that I was like Chic okay like the last week of my Camp I was like [ __ ]
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okay I'm actually fighting like damn it I've lost so focused because I got so
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caught up in what I had tried to preach and help others and then also let my story because that was a learning curve
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for me like that Journey was big to me and it was very healing at the same time but it also took a lot out of me without
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it exhausted yeah without a doubt yeah no but I'm thinking um like that story
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went to where and there's no way that you you could have or should have lost a
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fight after that do you know what I mean it seemed like this girl is gonna be the
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next champion of the world I really felt right oh did you yeah yeah so when you went into the ring for that wheel title
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fight no doubt in your mind that you were gonna you're gonna kick your ass no doubt like I didn't even think about
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I was just I already felt like a winner because what I had achieved and that the
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achievement was speaking and using my voice because I reached out to and inspired a
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lot of people which is more that's more worthy than winning a world title yeah
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absolutely it does what why did it take you so long to speak out do you think is
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it just the moment yeah shame because you're like you don't want a lot of a
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lot of people you don't want that like closer to you don't want also you don't
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want them to know as well because I know it'll hurt them to hear what I've been
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through and I never spoke out about it so I've never actually even my closest
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Family I've never actually really taught they only found out through that story
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so they didn't even know what I went through oh I'm so sorry that you've been living
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with this for such a long time um the the shame you're talking about and the the stuff that you're talking
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about for anyone that doesn't know that's um domestic violence and we'll
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get into that later on and as much of as little detail as what you want I'm not
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sure how you feel talking about it over and over again no that's fine yeah okay
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cool well let's let's focus on the early years so you're from kaitaia yes so
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you're born in kaitaia uh born in um kaitaia but I'm from it's like so you go you go into the
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township then you hang a left at the clock and then you go down heading out to apara which is like the beach
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it's before right right I'm also from apuna as well but my Mariah and everything's in Pokemon oh yeah because
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my my ex-girlfriend lives like her family they've got a I've got a spot in
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hohwater beach and so I've spent a lot of time yeah spent a lot of time running
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running through the forests of um 90 Mile Beach avoiding those terrifying horses yeah yeah they're still there the
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wild horse yeah the stallions and everything yeah my girlfriend said if you see one one of the horses get run
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into the trees and hide yeah I don't I just run it yeah because I'm used to them
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so what was life like growing up what was little Mia like oh it was amazing best time of my life yeah why because I
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learned how to dive you know uh my favorite thing to do is eating Seafood as well so you could go into the water
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and die for your own cannons your own crayfish all that you learn you learn all that so you let you learn
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sustainability that's the best thing about it living up north you know and you live you live off the land you go
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pig hunting you horse ride beer back horse right you don't ride with a saddle
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yeah so you you do sound a lot like um my ex so you get the cannas and you're
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slurping them raw yeah it's delicious that's magic yeah so so what was life like like growing up um
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are you quite um connected to your roots and your whanau oh yeah definitely yeah
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I'm really connected to my roots but you didn't you didn't speak Maori growing up
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I did when I was a kid you did yeah but I lost so we had to speak English which was
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hard for me at first but got it in the end so how old was it you moved to Auckland from the far north when you
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were like 10 yeah when I was 10. how come because my mom and dad wanted to come down here and work and my sister was
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about to be born so yeah yeah how was that how is that for you so I think when you when you're like
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preschool age you know moving anywhere with your parents is fine but when you when you're
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at school especially when you're like nine or ten and you've got your roots
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set up and your friends and yeah that's tough and then you're like you're living
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at their Tower rough rugged and beautiful that's how I say it what do you mean just like barefoot outside yeah
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yeah yeah my holy pants I liked it I wrote a t-shirt getting all dirty milking the cows that was rough rugged
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it sounds like they're like couldn't you have stayed up there with the water
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whanau was that not an option no my mom won't have that yeah yeah yeah yeah okay
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so you moved to you moved to Auckland where do you where do you move to him what's that like can you remember much
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about that you were still very young oh Oklahoma my grandparents and their house but they
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bought it years ago and we moved down to West Auckland I've always been in West
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Auckland haven't been anywhere else in west but yeah just stayed there hanged
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out with my family went to school didn't really like it I'd get frustrated I was
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I was actually an Angry Kid especially when I was an intermediate like I was very angry I was like I would lose my
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cool at school sometimes because I was just I struggled like with because like up north it's like you can be yourself
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everyone's just like you know enjoys pig hunting and all that stuff but then you
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come down to Auckland and people were like why aren't you wearing shoes where's your shoes stuff like that like
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other than any other school uniform like what the heck I hated that why are we at toys school uniform just a
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massive culture show okay yeah well and why why weren't you good at school did
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you just have like um did you struggle to learn or no I didn't struggle to learn I just struggled with like the
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different nationalities like especially with the teachers you know because like up north
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was it like was it like a rural School up North so it was like a tiny tiny school yeah tiny school and like we just
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what I was used to completely changed coming down here and it was like it was just like it felt very fancy and
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fresh and I was like this is out of my class it's just it didn't fit me oh did
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you sort of feel like an imposter like you didn't belong yeah I don't feel like
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I belonged oh yeah oh that's rough did you have like a good group of friends like a like a click
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that you found at that school I got along with boys more I struggled with girls yes I didn't like girls talking
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about girly things it was annoying because it was something I wasn't used to you know girls would be like I like
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boys and I'm like that's the last thing I want to listen to I want to be like oh
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do you want to play bullish you know or like and I was like always into rugby and League Growing Up So and girls want
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to play nipple and I'm like no way I'm not playing that yeah so so did you what
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yeah what sports did you play like when you moved to Auckland that sort of sort of intermediate age where was it like
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team sports contact Sports yeah it was team sports yeah I played like soccer definitely touch and tag and rugby and
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league but like as I got older my mum wouldn't let me play league were you able to play were there enough
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um like female players for you to be in like a girls team or was it were you playing with the boys right yeah yeah
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live playing with girls they just because they were like cry babies strain every time yeah but like it was
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like then a soccer you know you go like I played on the boys team and even the boys would cry and I'll get kicked like
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yellow card because I like kicked him and they did a full somersault flip and I was like isn't this what soccer's
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meant to be and the boy would cry so dramatic and then because I said to the get up
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and stop crying oh my god um in this in a sense like looking looking back now like do you think these
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sort of experiences this contact sport and playing with them the guys who are maybe physically bigger than bigger than
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you at that age do you think they sort of like prepared you for the boxing yeah yeah
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because my cousins were way bigger and they they like they're no mercy YouTube like why get up stop crying why
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are you being a suck for like we want a lot of crying my cousins or tough ass so
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I'm like okay then I'm gonna take you on too I'm gonna try and beat you I could
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never beat my cousins well it's well it sounds like um you had a good time when
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you moved to Auckland you're obviously like homesick for your your whanau and
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stuff up North but you're still at a good time and a good family but it's
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just a place yeah so who moved down your mum and your dad and my brothers yeah how many brothers you got two brothers
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yeah yeah your mum and Dad's still together no no they're not together they
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were 10 years ago yeah are you 17. so I did they did they do that thing like my parents did where they stayed
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together for the kids and then when the kids left home they went their separately yeah they just went like my
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mum just did a whole 180 and my dad was like he did like a scare I still don't know
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till this day where he left it's so confusing so how old are you at the time
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like 17. nice sexting right was that a shock for you at that time yeah I was like hey what's going on here
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yeah and I was like oh great blowing my eyes like okay here we go and and so where did the boxing start
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the boxing started when I was like 14. right how come I did it for Fitness like my because I
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was like playing for like New Zealand rips and stuff for like touching I mean for tag and soccer and stuff so my mom
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was like you need to get your Fitness up and I was like okay then and my mom was
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doing boxing for like Fitness to lose weight with her friends so she was like I'll take you to the gym and then
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because my cousin Shane was this Chopper Shane Chopper Chapman who's K1 fighter
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he was going to that gym so he was like come to this gym and because he does his kickboxing there and
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boxing there so he was like come to I was like I'm not doing kickboxing no way
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because I was like I'm not kicking my legs it's just stupid and then someone
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was like no you can do the boxing so I did the boxing gave it a go and then like six months later the coach was like
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oh would you like to box and I was like okay why not I'll give it a go because
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I'm always like tempted to give anything a go and then I spot and made these
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teenage boys cry they're like 16 and they all started crying and I said what
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the heck is my first barring ever why would you cry I'll say I thought boxing
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is not meant to be for sucky Bubbas can you imagine how humiliating that is for real right for those guys yeah if
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you're crying why would you cry no I'm thinking at that of myself at that age
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like first of all I've never had the carriage skin a boxing ring so I'm not
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I'm not criticizing these young guys but to be that age um still you know like developing and
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going through puberty and figuring out who you are to get in the ring with a girl and have your ass kicked by here
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like the whole thing like it's terrible yeah I was a novice like I hadn't even done
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anything that's not making it any better that's making it way worse for these boys but I
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suppose now now that you're the world champion they can and that you're not
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the same age as you I guess like dudes in their 30s they can probably look back at it and laugh but at that age in that
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stage in your life it probably traumatized them and followed them around for the last few years of school
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hey for real because I like I was would you ever cry or if I spied you and then I said to my brother come on then
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and then like we start having a punch and then bang I made a snow plea he didn't cry and he was younger than me he
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was two years younger so so it sounds like straight away you were good at it yeah I think you're like a natural
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I wasn't strong I was just like super fast like it's like a little better you know like
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what do you mean you went strong though like you're making nose bleeds you're
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making the boys cry no that's not like this punch with my brother what do you mean like outside of the
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ring is that just yeah we're at home come on let's go okay so it um Isaac Peach who's like your coach
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your Mentor your best friend to this day was it around this time I met him like when I was probably 15.
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yeah so about this this sort of time yeah about the time you're making all the boys cry yeah yeah so not long after
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that yeah boxing too how do you meet him did he just happen to be in the same gym
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or did he get told about you no he came into the gym and he started training for
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um that gym and he was like then I started to get to know Isaac because I had to train alongside him I was the
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little teenager and he was the adult and I was like yeah just growing up and we were just mates friends there and he
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knew me and we were both Westies then too because what's the age get between
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you guys so you're 33 now yeah now I would say what's he 40. he's 50.
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[Laughter] he's 40. 40. I said seven year age Gap so you're in your you're in your 18
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season in sort of early 20s yeah yeah and it was was he sort of like a mentor to you then no he wasn't no no what was
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the relationship like then crazy in what way what is like come to training and he'll be smoking a
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cigarette and then and then he'll put it out and he'll just start doing these
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Sprints and next minute smash all of us at it and I was like what the heck and then he'll come sometimes he'll come
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back like come show up to training smelling like alcohol and he's drunk he's being drunk has a cigarette does
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and still smashes it like and I used to think when I used to watch him train and
00:19:02
stuff I was like and I was like man if he gave up cigarettes and drinking he would be a mean ass fighter because like
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you know that I I truly believe that was making just held your lung capacity back
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but yeah he was fat like no one could like no one could be there was like two of them
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there was Isaac and this guy a co-cola and they used to just constantly like do these mean ass shuttles they were like
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suicide shuttles but those they'll be like they had the highest score ever and
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I'd be like how is he doing it he would be like hungover sometime is he is he okay with these stories I don't
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know but I just well I'm not I'm not lying and I'm telling the truth yeah
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yeah I know I know sometimes self-editing is not a anyway this is your mate he's your mate okay so I'll
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get in trouble though yeah like don't treat me then so is is he the one that's
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that said to you um yeah when you're a teenager like Mia you should you should get in the ring
00:20:00
that you should do this this boxing like always be supportive and cheering but at the same time after his she'd be
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like he'll just finish a fight and he's back on his his cigarette straight away
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and see I remember that because I was anti I've always been anti-cigarette right because I watched my grandfather
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die of cigarettes so yeah I've hated cigarettes so I've never had a cigarette
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in my life I've only had secondhand smoke yeah yeah I'm the same I grew up and my
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mum was a heavy smoker growing up she stopped about 10 years ago but yeah I look back now and all my clothes stunk
00:20:38
of smoke all the time yeah yeah yeah so can you remember your very first fight yeah yeah did you win
00:20:44
yeah I won yeah stop in the third round out of how many rounds three rounds three rounds yes three two minute rounds
00:20:52
three minute rounds 32 minutes yeah because I was how old are we then thirteen thirteen yeah
00:20:58
wow and was that feeling amazing is that is it that feeling of winning is you know it was to me I was like You Gotta
00:21:06
Laugh okay this is my first fight it's typical me I'm still the same damn it
00:21:10
you made me think shakes um so like I had my fight I literally I needed to blow my nose
00:21:19
in the middle of the fight I turn around and see to the rest stop and he's like
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you're not allowed to stop and I was like stop oh he's like this is ridiculous because I was like I was like
00:21:29
oh he stopped the fight I was like I need to blow my notes and he's like you're not allowed to do that I was like
00:21:33
I need it and then he was like okay I fully like he grabs the tissue thinking that I just need a light float I
00:21:40
literally blow all the blood over him yeah and he's like he never uh it's still
00:21:49
stuck with him till the state because he's all a white and it's all blue it's
00:21:53
all red oh my god oh you're not doing good for my congestion um yeah because of course you're wearing
00:22:02
gloves so there's nothing there yeah you can't like hold a nostril or anything
00:22:06
like that because the black I can feel it going in the back so yeah and it literally goes all over his white clean
00:22:14
white T-shirt and pants and he was so angry at me that still to this day he's
00:22:19
like I'll never forget you when you blew your nose at me unbelievable and and is that that fight
00:22:27
and sort of winning is that what sort of planted the seat or it was just other people sort of pushing you say Mia
00:22:32
you're really good at this if you if you try really hard you can be really good
00:22:35
where does the love of boxing come from I was like yeah that like I really didn't know it like
00:22:43
why was it fun just because you're good because I was like oh because just like
00:22:47
doing the like the energy level and being like Oh yeah yeah this is something different and you're on your
00:22:52
own like you don't have any because like I'm so used to team sport and like
00:22:56
people depend like you know if you stuff up the whole team stuffs up but that's
00:22:59
just you alone in that ring so yeah that's how I just saw it yeah you say that with a glint in your eye and a
00:23:06
smile on your mouth to me that's the terrifying thing about it that's that
00:23:10
seems like that seems awful to me like the you get in the ring you've got your
00:23:14
corner people there your support crew around you which must be very very nice but then everyone leaves and the fight
00:23:20
starts and it's got to be the most terrifying thing it's actually the most peaceful thing
00:23:26
peaceful um because like you literally you just see you in the opponents like okay let's go
00:23:33
which one's gonna win you or me which one yeah but you know that your opponent's goal is the same as
00:23:38
you you're she's trying to kill you you're trying to kill her yeah I know
00:23:43
but I don't see it as a Kill I never did what do you mean I just thought like it was something fun like
00:23:50
yeah I like this this is enjoyable it's fun something to do and I just got myself to do and if I went it's just me
00:23:57
that one yay not a team but yeah so I don't really love it at the end I just enjoyed it yeah it was
00:24:04
something fun yeah so it was why did you stop and when did you stop I was always
00:24:08
in and out I never really because I'd like because like I'll go through moments
00:24:13
where I'll be like I want to be a kid I mean like I don't want to be training
00:24:16
all the time you know and like I would miss out on like the biggest thing that I struggled with was
00:24:22
I would miss out on a lot of hand me things because we do a lot of family gatherings like we celebrate Easter you
00:24:28
know all the public holidays we go away up north as a family and we're such a
00:24:33
tight family that we always do everything together so I would always miss out on that and it'll be very
00:24:39
frustrating because like as soon as my family gotten off I'd be like see all the pictures and be like huh
00:24:45
where's mine and I'm stuck down here training and boxing so I was like oh
00:24:50
this is dumb I suppose it's like anything out of these sacrifices involved with anything if you want to be
00:24:54
good at something in life you've got to make sacrifices so is that when you decided to take a break from it yeah I
00:24:59
was always in and out yeah like school because I was like oh it's just distracting me so I have to stay at
00:25:06
school so like I never took it serious so I was just like I thought I took it serious but
00:25:11
then no I never did yeah and when did you leave school how long were you at school for
00:25:15
I said school too I was right and that's when you got married yeah yeah on that um the Sunday documentary which
00:25:25
I referenced at the beginning of this um it might still be available to watch on
00:25:29
um tvnz on demand um but it's a fabulous piece and they they show a photo of you
00:25:34
in your in your wedding dress yeah and you're 17. yeah and and you're you're
00:25:39
beautiful but you're just so young like just a girl like it it could have been
00:25:45
your ball your ball gown but it's your it's your wedding dress yeah and I
00:25:49
didn't even know what it was yeah no how do you mean I don't know what a
00:25:56
ball was right right people would always talk about it I'm like what the heck
00:25:59
said because I never paid any attention yeah right right oh because you're into
00:26:02
the guy stuff yeah yeah like if if the like if I heard like oh the boys have got rugby I was like yeah let's go
00:26:09
yeah so so um tell us about your husband like where did you meet him was he the same age
00:26:14
slightly older I use the same age same age 17 as well who gets married at 17. me
00:26:21
yeah why so you you guys you guys when did you meet like a year earlier yeah so like
00:26:29
um was he at the same school first no we weren't because I went to August School
00:26:33
I've been talking girls yeah hated it yeah because it was all girls like I can't believe it I thought my mom did
00:26:41
that on purpose no one no one at lunch time for you to play ball race with no like the first year I was always such a
00:26:49
loner yeah but I liked being on learner because it just I'd rather listen to
00:26:53
myself than listen to girls drama so yeah the first year I hated High School I was like why am I at the school
00:27:00
and I'd always ask my mom to change me like I'll say can you change me like why
00:27:04
did you put me in all girls school yeah send me the Kings yeah and then mum says
00:27:08
eight no you gotta go and because my cousin was there so that was a good thing that my cousin went there so yeah
00:27:13
but she was older Toyota yeah I met him so I met her he was already boxing so I already knew of him but he went to
00:27:25
course like literally a straight away from my school and then I S he was friends with my friends
00:27:33
the ones like they were in my class and then so I met him through there and then
00:27:38
we just started being friends yeah and did like did you did you like him straight was there an attraction
00:27:42
straight away no it wasn't we were just friends at first yeah and because I was
00:27:48
like okay cool I like I hang out with boys so like I started hanging out with him and his friends and just clicked and
00:27:55
then all of a sudden I was like oh I was like what the heck is this he's like I like you I was like what oh don't
00:28:02
look at me like that oh because you'd never had a boyfriend before you were mates with lots of boys but you'd never
00:28:08
had like a boyfriend boys would look at me like that but you know I just thought
00:28:12
oh yeah and I was like nah what the heck don't like me yeah so at first it went like that and
00:28:19
then my friends kind of like pushed me and they're like nah you should go and I
00:28:23
was like nah I don't want a boyfriend I was like I kind of like myself yeah yeah
00:28:28
so then you sort of just find yourself in this relationship yeah just kept bugging me
00:28:33
were you there even my school after school and I'd be like oh yeah they were like oh he's going to a train
00:28:45
bloody hell right he was right into you so you so what did you think at the time
00:28:51
you were just sort of like confused or did you just you feel like you couldn't
00:28:55
say no no what did you do did you just kept like just buggering like bugging me and
00:29:03
just like always hanging out with me and I was like oh gosh and then he just kept
00:29:06
saying can be my girlfriend can you please be like a friend I don't even know what that is
00:29:11
but was was he quite nice and Charming back then it was nice yeah yeah but then like
00:29:17
started clicking because he was into [Music] that oh she's really into this and I was
00:29:24
like yep and then so we started gelling into that well like like boxing yeah boxing I like yeah I like the boxing and
00:29:32
like see like my favorite Fighters Rocky Marciano so like he started figuring that out and then I'll be like so he
00:29:40
paid like interest in what I liked at the same time I was going through my mum and Dad's breakup yeah too so that
00:29:47
was kind of like a lot me and my dad our relationship was like so close and tight
00:29:52
so it was like as soon as my dad walked out I lost that male figure yeah and so then because him and my mum was fat it
00:30:01
pushed me towards so then I started depending on him even though he was bugging me I was like oh man I've lost
00:30:07
mail in my life because my other male that I was really close to was my Papa he passed away
00:30:13
at the same time like around this same time so then I fell into that that trap and I was kind of like okay this this is
00:30:22
where I need to be because I've got no other meal in my life God you're really smart and insightful
00:30:27
have you had any therapy or anything or you just no see so you just you just figured out that
00:30:33
you were drawn towards this guy the same age because of you know the issues with
00:30:37
your parents like that's so insightful you just figure that out on your own yeah yeah you can see that but you
00:30:43
couldn't see it probably said at the time but you see it now with hindsight yeah and wisdom so and and so when does
00:30:49
The Proposal happen how long did you get there before Oh my mum was very strong and deep in faith
00:31:01
so we were very like we were brought up and my mom was like very like Christian so we had to obey and stick to the
00:31:11
Crystal Lake I always honored my parents because it was part of like I had a faith too and I believed in that Faith
00:31:17
so I honored that and my mum was like okay so because I fell at this around like after we started building a
00:31:24
relationship like a year later I fell pregnant with my son which I Didn't Know
00:31:28
I Was Pregnant and because I was still getting my regular period so I was like oh and then I was like I found out I'm
00:31:35
pregnant 28 I'm like 20 weeks I think oh [ __ ] yeah like almost in the third
00:31:40
trimester yeah and I'll still train I was still doing boxing like hold on sorry and I went to Rainbow's End
00:31:55
yeah yeah I was actually still spurring oh my God that's amazing because my weight hadn't like gained all I had was
00:32:04
like a little like a bit like it felt like a beer belly yeah but you weren't
00:32:08
sort of showing at all and you didn't feel sick no morning sickness I don't
00:32:12
know and I was still getting my regular periods so that's why I was like ah I
00:32:15
just put it on a little bit of weight to my mum like Mom I'm like I'm like I
00:32:24
don't feel well I'm shaking and then she was like okay we better take you to the
00:32:28
doctors take me to the doctor's day like you're pregnant and I'm like oh am I and
00:32:32
they're like it seemed quite far away and I was like can't be I'm still
00:32:35
getting my period and so we have a scan they're like you're 20 weeks and I'm
00:32:39
like what I just like for I was just sparring last week and I was at the Rainbow's End on the roller coaster to
00:32:48
be honest I feel like the hot dogs at Rainbow's End are probably more dangerous for an unborn child than the
00:32:52
roller coaster there hey Corkscrew that's fine yeah um so so you just as because if you look
00:32:58
like your religious Faith you think well I'm pregnant I've got to do the right
00:33:01
thing and get married before baby well my mum she was like yeah my mum was like you cut well
00:33:08
because we stuck to our faith and like that was part of our home and rules and so mum was like you can't live under
00:33:14
this roof unless you get married that's the rules and then I was like okay she's like if you trust your faith
00:33:21
you'll do it and I was like okay so to me I was like oh I never wanted to get
00:33:26
married this is wrong but then I knew it was right because I've got it honor like
00:33:30
I believe in the ten commandments so you've got to honor your parents yeah but you could you not say to your mum
00:33:36
well look mum your marriage didn't last yeah they tried what did she say do as I say not as I do
00:33:45
yeah yeah because like she stole the parent and yeah you still got to honor it so that's what I just stuck to and
00:33:52
like it wasn't just my mum it was like our pasta as well at the time he was pushing because he was like No And so he
00:33:58
was pushing my mum because we couldn't have that so I was like which way do I go would I rather be
00:34:03
homeless or take the marriage and so like I tried to run away and as I did I ran to my aunties which was my mum's
00:34:12
sister and like hid there and then my mum had like this big family like meeting and my family were against it
00:34:21
because they did not want it to happen because they were like she's too young
00:34:24
yeah so you were 18 at this point or still 17. still 17. yeah oh man this is this is this is really
00:34:32
this is heartbreaking to hear so like you knew in your heart of hearts that it wasn't the right thing to be doing yeah
00:34:38
like I felt like no I don't want this like I just I've only known if we yeah
00:34:43
and but I respected and honored it so that's just how I was and I respected my
00:34:49
mum because I loved my mum and she she was trying to respect your pastor's rules too and she just didn't want me
00:34:56
under that roof so I was like which way do I pick do I pick my mum or do I go live out on his side
00:35:03
of the family or living on the street and be homeless wasn't you with a like
00:35:07
unborn child because I was I hadn't had my son yet and I was still pregnant and then like
00:35:14
I literally just before we had the marriage I gave birth to my son which was like I don't know so why why
00:35:24
was it I know because all right right so like literally eight weeks later like very Prim and you know two months
00:35:37
early yeah yeah and flew it around my son and they tell me he's got a 50 50 chance of living
00:35:51
so I'm just like I feel like I'm mentally stuffed already because I'm like what the heck my son's
00:35:57
only got 50 before I even gave birth the hospital told me that's a lot I mean
00:36:02
and you're you're a kid yourself yeah so I'm trying to give birth to a son
00:36:13
that I think is not going to live and then so I'm like oh my gosh he's got
00:36:17
50 50 chance of living I give birth to my first son he gets ripped away from me straight away to go on an incubator yeah
00:36:24
because I didn't even get to hold you know most people were like give their baby straight away I didn't even get it
00:36:28
got straight ripped out of me and I was like oh what the heck and I didn't get
00:36:32
to see him straight away like they had to check him and make sure that he could breathe everything so that was all the
00:36:40
biggest the most scariest thing in my life because I was like oh my gosh and then when they took me to him they were
00:36:45
like we don't know if your son's gonna survive you know he's way too early he's
00:36:50
born with a hole in his heart and multiple things and then also I fought the like they wanted to give steroids
00:36:57
but I said no because I was just like I don't know what you know because I'm
00:37:01
just a young teenager and I have no idea what the heck like I'm thinking steroids
00:37:06
you know like steroids that they're good for like bodybuilders so like no no so I
00:37:12
said No at all at all costs are everything and I was like no my son will he can fight this and so yeah that was
00:37:20
hard and then so my emotions mentally I felt broken so the only thing I was just like okay
00:37:28
the only thing I left okay let's just get married who cares I just did it because they were extended when there
00:37:33
was the least of your concerns it was like whatever it's because like you know
00:37:36
here like impulse thinking you're just like who cares just do it because you're
00:37:40
just like all you're caring about is your son because they're telling you you
00:37:44
don't know if he's gonna survive or not so like you're focusing on your son and
00:37:49
you're just like okay whatever you thought of me I don't care yeah let's
00:37:52
just do it yeah everything else is irrelevant and and was the um did you enjoy the wedding like I mean
00:37:58
it's yeah I suppose you can look look back now knowing where this story goes
00:38:02
and and think nothing but hatred about it but at the time was an exciting time or not really were you just that focused
00:38:07
yes like it was something positive for me like I was like yeah yeah something fun you know because I've
00:38:15
just had that you know obviously had like my parents ripped away from me and then my son ripped up like being told
00:38:21
that he's only got 50 50 chance so we were living on like he had a heart monitor and you know I couldn't even
00:38:28
take my own son home so it was just very frustrating and then having the wedding
00:38:32
was like something positive it didn't make me happy because it was happy to see all my family together but I knew my
00:38:39
family didn't like it because they didn't approve of it they didn't because
00:38:42
you were young or they or they had a bad Vibe about him they because I was my age
00:38:46
yeah right they were against it they were just like no but they still supported me and cared
00:38:51
for me and they still showed up and they I knew my family didn't accept it because I I felt it but they also were
00:38:58
there and it was good to see them all there because I love my family yeah family means everything to me oh I can
00:39:04
tell I can tell when you speak about them and when you speak about those years growing up north yeah yeah and
00:39:09
like the Kenner yeah just the way your eyes pop out of your head when you talk about slurping those raw Killers yeah
00:39:14
it's yum delicious so um is the wind when like when did the cracks start to show on the marriage how long
00:39:21
I would have been with my muscles look like looking after them all the time yeah so it's a lot of stress
00:39:30
and pressure yeah and so like Aurora I'd always been a lot or to the hospital for the day so I can
00:39:40
arrest because we weren't allowed to stay there and he'd like oh um I've got this and I was like what are
00:39:48
you doing like here's me having no idea what he's doing I'm just like okay you
00:39:53
must be going to hang out with friends not realizing that oh he's hanging out
00:39:56
with drug people you know oh was he on the gear then oh I know he was definitely a weed yeah
00:40:03
right right so yeah crazy hey yeah so your son makes it through that that Troublesome period how
00:40:14
long is he like an in an incubator for [Music] he's he's your eldest now hey like 15
00:40:24
16. 16. today how is he he's all good he's good at it yeah yep I've always
00:40:29
I've taught like I've always kept my son active like I made him do legs straight
00:40:33
away he was really good at it but then like he did it for two years and then this
00:40:40
third year we kind of pushed about like I was pushing it a bit too hard and like
00:40:44
he'd keep collapsing and then we realized it was taking stress on his heart because I I just treated him like
00:40:49
he's normal and like he they'll tell me oh he needs these ventilators to help
00:40:54
him Chuck those away because I'm just like no you need to learn to breathe on
00:40:57
your own but it worked in the end yeah yeah yeah yeah I know I shouldn't be listening to
00:41:04
doctors but I'm just like no I don't want my son depending on something because to me it's like you know when
00:41:10
people get addicted to drugs and so that's how I saw it like this dag it's
00:41:14
addicted to drugs so I'm like if you're going to get addicted and depend on that
00:41:16
for the rest of your life no way so don't just learn your own technique and he eventually got it but I knew I
00:41:24
had to take him out of League it was too much too much stress on him yeah yeah because he started doing like marathons
00:41:30
and all that and he just he'd get like my son would make it to the finish line
00:41:34
and he'll collapse and then we have to rush him to hospital oh yeah that's
00:41:38
never a great sign yeah yeah so I was like oh my gosh shakes I was like why did you push her in his
00:41:46
heart yeah I remember sudden you only got a heart a small heart so yeah and then we kind of stopped in I
00:41:52
was like you need to do something else so lucky for my aunties they put him into walls so yeah yeah amazing amazing
00:41:59
so um yeah I don't know how much you want to get into this or not but um I mean on the Sunday piece you talked
00:42:06
about um there's an awful story there where you talk about domestic violence
00:42:09
that's happening to you and your beard I'm guessing that was further on because
00:42:12
these things yeah these things tend to escape like can you remember the first time the first how did it start
00:42:22
mentally it was Breaking Me Slowly which I didn't know right I looked back and
00:42:27
I'm like oh my gosh it was meant to like because you didn't have that experience
00:42:32
growing up hey you you no and you'll find our environment there was no like um yeah like your mum and dad were never
00:42:39
like that with each other yeah my dad didn't even smack me like never my mum used to smack me with a wooden
00:42:46
spoon and it was like a little tap and I used to laugh and I realized that all and she's like you want another one and
00:42:53
I'll play you go ahead you should get angry and should like get out of my face yeah so so
00:43:01
[Music] um so yeah what that mental abuse look like and when did that start how far into the
00:43:05
marriage would have been after I had my second child yeah which was my daughter that's
00:43:11
when it's like really started well after a couple of years a few years yeah so
00:43:16
how's my daughter my daughter was a year apart from my son so not long after I
00:43:21
had my daughter I like he's was like always telling me like you're not like
00:43:26
started controlling me like you're not allowed to do this you're not allowed to
00:43:29
do that and then I'd like okay why not and then I I'll push the boundary and
00:43:34
then he would like give me a twit and I'll be like give you give your what give me a twit like you know like a a
00:43:40
whack across the face right and I'm like oh like a slap yeah yeah and I was like
00:43:43
what was heck you're not allowed to do that I was like my dad's never done that
00:43:47
to my mum and he was like well you need to learn and I was like okay so I was like
00:43:54
okay and it's like don't you ever tell anyone either and I was like I'm telling
00:43:57
on you and then he was like you go tell and that's it you're going to get
00:44:01
another one and I was like well I'll keep telling and yeah that so you were strong in fire
00:44:07
State this is this is this is the um the heartbreaking thing for me about your story Mia like you did um
00:44:16
you did all the right things like you you did everything that that every rational person would do in that
00:44:22
situation you know yeah at every step of the way and it still happened it's heartbreaking yeah yeah and then it so
00:44:28
it just escalates from there yeah it just slowly starts escalating and then like I start seeing like bongs and like
00:44:35
you know weeds and stuff and I was like why are you smoking weed like because they're so anti and he was like you
00:44:42
can't tell me what to do and then he'll be like telling me like you need to go
00:44:46
get a job so get a job and listen like respectfully because like okay this is me in my knowledge and my theory in my
00:44:54
brain just for me I would be like okay I have to you know he's my husband now
00:44:58
I've got to respect him I've got to honor him you know stick to the rules of
00:45:02
that what the Bible says so I never looked at the worldly rules I always looked at the Bible rules that's just
00:45:07
how I viewed my life and so I was like okay you know and I didn't believe in
00:45:13
divorce because that's so reliable yeah yeah so I believe like divorce was a sin so I
00:45:20
was like no all right I don't want to go to hell you know so I just try to look
00:45:24
after and like I don't know what my husband said and he'd like you have to
00:45:28
go to work I never controlled any money or anything he controlled it at all because I didn't know he would pay
00:45:34
anybody okay you get this and I'm like okay cool and I wasn't allowed to spend my own
00:45:39
money so he controlled everything even like told me to get my license and you know he controlled my license my
00:45:47
passport all that stuff and I just I was like kind of like is this normal but I saw it normal in his family you know I
00:45:55
started seeing how so like it was is he from that sort of is that how he is that
00:46:00
the sort of behavior he saw growing up yeah that's the behavior he's used to so
00:46:04
like I would see it in like it's in his mum and his dad and then like his family
00:46:09
so it was like okay this is normal for this okay I don't see this in my family
00:46:14
and then so I was like okay maybe my family's different and then so that was
00:46:20
normal and then I go to their town and it's exactly the same and I was like every female's getting treated like that
00:46:27
yeah and I mean there's like this there's absolutely no excuse for that behavior and there's that um you know
00:46:34
phrase that's been used over and over and over again over the years about breaking the cycle so I suppose you can
00:46:39
get out of that environment and it's just like learned behavior so you carry
00:46:43
it on yeah or you can you can make an effort to do better and say I'm not gonna I'm not gonna do that yeah so
00:46:48
ultimately it's a decision that stops with the individual yeah yeah oh mate I'm so sorry that's
00:46:54
that's bloody terrible so you you were basically like a hostage yeah like a hostage in your in your own in your own
00:47:01
in your own life yeah and so like he slowly started breaking like like hitting me and then punching
00:47:08
me and then it just got worse and then because I started figuring out like because I didn't even know what like P
00:47:15
was like like I had no idea and I would like see like it looked like a lolly bag
00:47:19
like full of sugar and like I don't know what it was and I was like and like so I'd be like oh my gosh okay
00:47:28
is this normal is this I was saying oh okay so just check it in the bin and then like his Relic Behavior would like
00:47:34
he would be up and down it was and I'd be like what's going on what have I done
00:47:40
and he just started like completely abusing me like there'll be days where I wouldn't even be able to
00:47:47
leave the house because I couldn't even get to the door because I was like he'd
00:47:53
just smashed me so bad like with like it could be even with a chair crowbar Hammer whatever oh will it be like
00:48:00
sleeping in my bed and he'd come home at like her because he's been arrested and
00:48:05
like I didn't know and he'll just rip the blanket off me and just start smashing me and I'm like well what the
00:48:12
heck and then I would like try to feed myself at the same time and I just I couldn't run anywhere
00:48:18
because he would threaten me he would say like if you go to anyone I will hurt your family and I was like
00:48:26
what the heck all the kids are in danger and so I was like living under his finger you know like literally living
00:48:34
under his roof and stuck because I felt like I couldn't go out because I was so
00:48:40
scared because if I did get out which I did try to escape when I did try to escape he would only find me again
00:48:47
and so I was like is this normal like is this how I'm gonna have to live my life
00:48:52
like I'm never gonna I've tried to run away and it never worked because he'd
00:48:56
always find me and he'd always catch me and you'd be like no and then I'm I
00:49:00
would like not know how to live and then like I was ashamed to tell my family because I was like no if I tell my
00:49:07
family my family is going to be in danger and then so just me being like sheeps okay I gotta stay in silence
00:49:15
and I know my family had a little bit of idea but they were waiting for me they didn't want to step in because there
00:49:20
would be times where I'd be like no he's all wrong because I would just be like
00:49:24
I'm denying it because you're embarrassed or are you I'm not ashamed
00:49:28
or not even just ashamed I was too scared because I didn't want to hurt my family members right because he had
00:49:34
already in uncles you know like my uncle tried to say something and then his his mates
00:49:41
all showed up at with like Firearms at my uncle's house so I was like because I
00:49:46
spoke to my uncle and then my uncle was like oh my gosh he was like he ended up getting in trouble my uncle
00:49:53
ended up getting in trouble the police arrested my uncle because you know as my uncle's word against them because
00:49:58
there's how many and the cops can only do so much and then you go to court the court are going
00:50:04
you just have to show evidence to the court so you can never you can never win once it's you can tell the police and
00:50:10
the police can only take it so far and they was like okay oh this is heartbreaking yeah
00:50:17
um so what's your relationship like with the place now do you sort of yeah I don't trust him because they let you
00:50:26
down they let me down big time they try to help but like you take it to the the courts and then if the police don't have
00:50:36
the evidence and see that I'm telling you now they like their gangs know the
00:50:43
system they know how that yeah not their first rodeo yeah and they know as long as you've got people to vouch for you
00:50:52
it's your word with one person against how many you know and I look like the liar so I'm
00:50:59
the one that's getting a bloody warrant out for my arrest because I'm the liar
00:51:05
so I like sitting in front of you today I can't imagine you ever being any different to the bubbly vivacious person
00:51:12
I'm seeing now we will you like this thing or were you sort of you know where
00:51:15
you sort of like head down where's your demeanor different yeah or my demeanor is we're all different like
00:51:23
I was very depressed I was very angry I didn't trust anyone I couldn't stand
00:51:28
looking I did not trust males like I literally hated mail so like I used to think that every male was evil and nasty
00:51:36
because I even like my dad walked out when my dad left and I I would be like my dad didn't even want to help me you
00:51:42
know because he he was he was living his own life too but I never like when I did
00:51:47
go to my dad he was so busy with his own work life in his own family that I was like okay I can't go to my dad so like I
00:51:54
didn't trust me I was I hated them because they they always failed me and like I looked at the justice system and
00:52:01
they failed me as well and I was always like living life on the run because I'll
00:52:07
try to run away from him and then I just think males all males want to do is they
00:52:12
only want you know they only want to hurt you and destroy you like not just not physically but also mentally you
00:52:18
know they never really that's how I looked at males like they never really looked at us for who we are they just
00:52:25
looked at us for like you know your property you're just you're just and so like
00:52:31
you may also say the meanest things even females would say that means things but
00:52:35
I had such a bad wall against males out I just I understandable understandable so so
00:52:42
um what what keep you alive over these years was it just the kids like it wasn't just my kids it was my
00:52:49
also my faith like but there was time like there were so many times I wanted to give up on life because I was like I
00:52:55
can imagine because you would have thought this this is it this isn't this is this is my lot in life until I die
00:53:01
this is until I die or get killed whatever even when he go into prison are traumatized
00:53:11
it's free he he'd get out once he's he was free and he'd get out straight away
00:53:16
back and he'd find me again oh so this was like I said while you were still together he would had be arrested and
00:53:22
douche like short legs or something yeah yeah and then I would be like yes okay they're keeping him and they know
00:53:28
they're not keeping him because he found a way out you know or they always knew a
00:53:33
way out there's always a way out the the Justice the system doesn't fully keep
00:53:37
them in there for what they've done and I'm like I just I truly believe that our
00:53:42
bloody crime laws are so weak they're too kind yeah they are they really are
00:53:47
yeah um so what was the last draw the last draw was when he I was trapped oh not when I was trapped when I was in
00:53:57
at home and my daughter took a knife for me so literally he was about to stab me and
00:54:07
literally she jumped in front of him and she grabbed me for to save my life because she knew he
00:54:15
was going to stand me how old was she she would have been about eight years old yeah
00:54:22
how she how old is she now 14th 13th she's 14 14. yeah how is she how are the kids do they have PTSD or
00:54:30
anything no no no they're really good actually one thing I never did was I never put um hatred on
00:54:37
my kids towards their dad so I always made sure my children's health mental health was really important like I
00:54:44
really treasured and look after my kids having mental health so I always told them whatever your dad did to me is not
00:54:51
because it's not your guy's fault he loves yous no matter what but whatever
00:54:56
happened between me and your dad is between me and your dad it's not your guy's fault so I'd always make sure that
00:55:02
my kids knew that their dad loved them even though what he's doing was wrong
00:55:06
but I made sure that that there was that was my children's judgment to make not
00:55:12
me telling them I never told never speak bad about their dad to them because and
00:55:17
I always told my family never speak ill about my kid's dad because I wanted my children to make their own
00:55:24
choice and I never stopped my kids from seeing their dad like I'd always say to
00:55:28
them you can speak to your dad you can see your dad I never stopped that because I made them make their own
00:55:34
choices because I truly believe that's not my choice to choose for my kids how they feel about
00:55:40
their dad just because I had that's what I had to keep separate which was the
00:55:45
hardest thing that's the hardest thing as a parent is trying to separate your
00:55:50
children like making sure that their feelings is theirs not me telling how my children should feel
00:55:59
you're you're so strong like to to be able to compartmentalize like that and not project onto the kids
00:56:07
yeah um that's phenomenal that's incredible but see how I saw that's the reason why
00:56:13
I did it because a lot of kids parents put so much pressure on children as well kids are killing themselves
00:56:20
you know that's why they're mental health and they can't handle it because
00:56:23
the parents like say like I've seen some parents and they're like you're not allowed to talk to your dad
00:56:28
because he was so nasty to me and then it's not the child's fault though
00:56:33
it's not the child's fault why the dead was nasty to you so you know because parents don't
00:56:39
realize that they they shift the blame and put all the pressure on the children so and they make the children suffer I
00:56:45
never wanted that for my children I always wanted my children to make sure key thing I knew that I wanted my kids
00:56:52
to make sure that both parents loved them no matter what we did I wanted to always make sure it stayed
00:56:58
between me and the father not me the father and the kids which is unfair yeah so
00:57:05
um the kid's father he's still incarcerated now yeah if he if he hadn't
00:57:09
been incarcerated like what do you think your life would look like now would you still be in this cycle do you
00:57:14
think or do you think you would have found it tormented by him yeah yeah because it it it it's it doesn't you
00:57:23
can't flick a switch just like that it takes time well like are you worried about when it comes out no no how come
00:57:33
I'm at peace with him yeah I'm Healed that you know what he's done he's got to
00:57:39
own up to that and that's for him but all I want for him is to have a relationship with his children and he
00:57:46
needs to make it right for his kids because at the end of the day they're the ones suffering not me
00:57:53
do they get they go and visit them do they have any sort of relationship no they're not allowed to visit them right
00:57:57
how come I don't want my children looking into the prison system I've been
00:58:01
there and it's not a pretty sight yeah and I feel like that's not they shouldn't see him like that
00:58:07
because it can change their perspective of how they love their dad because it's
00:58:11
it's you're you're in with nasty people yeah I truly believe that's not how my
00:58:17
kids should see their dad I allow him to speak to them and he can speak to them on the phone but they're not allowed to
00:58:24
go in yeah that's the rule I won't have and and when you think about that guy
00:58:28
now um like given what he's done to you tormented you for like the best part of
00:58:31
what 10 years 10 years when you think back now like what do you think of them do you like is it anger is
00:58:39
there a bit of petty like how do you feel about them when you look back now if you asked me last year
00:58:44
I hated them yeah but if you ask me today I feel sorry for them because he's he's the one that missed
00:58:50
out his children's growth you know he missed out on the years it's sad because
00:58:55
like say if he was to die tomorrow that's how his kids are going to know him
00:59:01
you know he leaves that kind of sadly that's what I feel sorry for because as
00:59:05
my kids are the ones that are going to hurt the most yeah and you're those those kids I mean it's a credit to you
00:59:11
as a parent I think that they're strong and resilient but I wonder if they're
00:59:15
gonna you know if this is gonna bubble up to the surface over the years like I've seen some stuff right like the
00:59:20
knife story you told before then there was a story you told on Sunday about um him attacking you with a like a bat or a
00:59:26
weapon when you're in a beard and the kids were in bed with you yes they've
00:59:30
seen it all but the thing is and I'm really really with my kids and tell them like
00:59:41
they can speak about their father and tell me how they feel and I I don't get
00:59:45
angry at one but and I say to my kids like you know your dad really loves you and don't ever blame you guys self for
00:59:54
what he'd done to me because I said that was I try really separate it really hard and my kids my
01:00:01
son said to me last year when he did find because he didn't know the full extent but once he found out the full
01:00:07
extent he was like I agree no he wasn't actually he goes mom I knew you went
01:00:12
through things but I didn't realize you went through so much and I S he goes why didn't you ever tell
01:00:17
us and I said because I wanted you to make your own choice about how you feel about your dad not the picture that I
01:00:23
had for him and then my son was like Mama I'm so grateful that you did that because
01:00:30
I appreciate you more for doing that well you're the you're the better person yeah 100 yeah and like
01:00:37
my son said you never turned our father against us and I was like No And I never turned
01:00:42
them against their father because that's not that's not right I shouldn't be the
01:00:46
one to tell my children that that's their choice you know when people say you have a choice well allow them to
01:00:53
have their choice yeah and that's what because like it's like if my mom wants
01:00:56
to tell me because I learned through myself so I look back my mom didn't give
01:01:01
me the choice she told she gave me two options so you're forcing someone that they don't
01:01:07
want to do something and and how they feel I never wanted that for my children to
01:01:13
have a like me because like what my mum did to me and said oh my aunties or my family members anyone that said no
01:01:21
you're not allowed to do that you have to do this and I never had a choice so I've always made sure that I never
01:01:27
wanted that for my children because it stuffed me up mentally as well because look what it did and it made me go like
01:01:34
oh okay I have like impulsive thinking but if my children I'm real strong on
01:01:39
telling my children Express how you feel it's okay if people don't like it then
01:01:44
that's their problem but you have a choice don't ever let someone force you
01:01:49
to do something that you don't want and so I had to stick to that you know what I'm preaching I have to stick that
01:01:55
with also with the way they are with their father and also because I need to protect their mental health because I'm
01:02:02
their mother yeah are you like is there any sort of resentment or chip on your shoulder towards your you know your mum
01:02:08
for the religious beliefs or for your religion in general no no I because if I didn't you know one thing I
01:02:17
can say is if I never went through that I wouldn't be where I am today you know I wouldn't be appreciating my
01:02:23
children I wouldn't be appreciating life you know it's a hell of a hell of a
01:02:28
thing to go to though yeah but then also I'm blessed because I wouldn't be here
01:02:37
also made me into I truly believe a great mum and that's that's all I want I
01:02:42
want to be the best mum for my children because if I never went through that then I'd never know what my daughter's
01:02:48
what I have to do to protect my daughters so if my daughter ever gets in this situation I will drop everything
01:02:55
pick my daughter up and leave the country if it meant and talk and give her time to heal
01:03:00
I will do everything in my power to make sure that my daughter never goes through
01:03:05
that yeah and because you've been so open about your own Journey where it did
01:03:09
take you a while to get to that point but but you know you're so open about it
01:03:11
now I suppose it says to your kids that if you go through anything like this you
01:03:15
come to me and talk to me about it and we'll make [ __ ] happen why why did it
01:03:19
take you so long why did you feel guilt and shame about it you must have known it wasn't it was not your fault and
01:03:23
nothing to do with you I felt ashamed because of my yeah yeah and then also I was living in fear I was
01:03:37
scared of him and I was scared of the people that were with him I was scared for my own family and I was scared for
01:03:44
my own children because I thought my children would be in danger from other people as well yeah so the threats he
01:03:49
made you had every reason to believe they were genuine yeah yeah because a lot of the threats did happen
01:03:55
so when he did say to me it would happen and I was like okay he's not mucking
01:04:00
around this is serious yeah yeah so he he accepts your life um how long does it take to rebuild
01:04:07
after that look where do you start because you had no you married him when you were 17. you
01:04:15
had no not you said he took your you know your driver's license took care of
01:04:19
all the banking so where do you start so you're an adult with two kids how do you
01:04:23
start three or three at that point three at that point three to him or the third
01:04:27
one was ten no three times three damn right yep I had three and I was lucky I had aunties that
01:04:34
looked after the two old and my mum looked after the two oldest ones and then my third one he was always with me
01:04:40
yeah yeah did the the abuse stop for a time when you were pregnant with the number three
01:04:45
no no no it didn't stop I'm so sorry yeah I don't wash it upon anyone
01:04:55
oh this is terrible yeah wow did you just like take the three kids in the car and go up North
01:05:10
like go to the whanau like we how do you begin um I literally just do you know that's
01:05:16
the most blankest time for me because I literally felt like a ghost because I didn't know how to operate
01:05:24
I didn't know what to do with my life because I was so stuck in ways that I was used to so and you're like 26 27 at
01:05:33
this point yeah yeah and I have no idea how to be so I kind of lost my way because I was very depressed at the same
01:05:40
but I didn't know I was depressed but I was very hidden I didn't want anyone I struggled
01:05:47
to be around people so the person that like really supported me was my nan she was my best friend and then also my best
01:05:55
friend she helped me as well and I just started like taking day by day but I was struggling at the same time
01:06:03
like actually when he left that was probably the most hardest time for me because
01:06:10
you had to learn all these new like skills to survive in life I thought I felt like a preschooler yeah you know
01:06:16
like I don't know what to do I didn't even know what I wanted for my life I
01:06:21
was so like what am I gonna do like I had three kids and then I felt so pathetic you know that's the best way I
01:06:28
can put it I felt so pathetic and useless that I was so scared to even try to take a step out like I would go to
01:06:36
like a bank and then all the more and I'd like have anxiety because and I'd
01:06:41
like be in panic mode and be like oh my gosh what the heck why is everyone like I'm like well what do I do and I didn't
01:06:47
know I was so scared that I needed my siblings to help me like I'll get my sister and she'll be like what the heck
01:06:54
what yourself and I was like I can't and then even my nan I was like my nan understood
01:07:01
it so it should like help me and I'd like I'd say to my name like I don't
01:07:05
know what I'm going to do with myself what am I meant to do and she was like just take one day at a
01:07:12
time and I was like it's great advice yeah and I was like what do you mean one day at a time
01:07:17
because I would be in so much pain I'd cry not cry so much pain and what sort
01:07:23
of pain like I'd be because everything's hitting me you know and it's coming like why did
01:07:30
I go through that why was I why did I allow that for myself and I'd say to like I'd pour my eyes out to my nan and
01:07:37
be like why do it she's like it's not your fault Papa and I'm like no it is it
01:07:42
is because I'm the one that accepted this for my life I accepted this so I blamed myself a lot of it and my nan
01:07:49
would just be like no it's not and she said it's okay start new start new and
01:07:55
it was every day starting you and I'd like okay start new so I started just doing doing baby steps and taking one
01:08:03
day at a time oh it was never perfect like I would break some days just randomly I'll break like I'll Clips the
01:08:10
floor and start crying or rebuilding your life never goes in a straight line does it and it's um it's like every day
01:08:16
is a brand new day and so you can put in on the pillow at night and it may have been a [ __ ] day maybe a [ __ ] day when
01:08:21
you wake up the next day but there's a chance there's a chance it's going to be
01:08:24
a better day yeah and so instead I'd be like me up and I'll be like come on wake up
01:08:34
wake up like what the heck's going on because I got used to it so it came normalized to me and then not having
01:08:41
that was so like it was so weird it felt it did not feel normal to me but it was normal what I
01:08:49
was going through was wrong yeah but the the cycle of domestic violence had become your new normal I guess because
01:08:53
you've been there for so many years oh that's terrible so I didn't understand and then so
01:08:59
slowly every day I was doing something and I was trying to come out of my comfort zone then like so much to learn
01:09:06
it must just seem like the steepest mountain to climb yeah and then like my friend she like would come over all the
01:09:11
time and just grab me out and be like no come on you're getting up you're gonna
01:09:15
be like no I'm not leaving the house and she'll just make me I had no choice yeah
01:09:20
should Chuck me in the car and drag me pick up your lips and I'll be like no
01:09:24
is your name still alive she sounds incredible no she passed away wow what an inspirational woman yeah she
01:09:32
was yeah so um so are you with a partner now no no super you got three kids to um the domestic review their user and
01:09:43
two two My like a previous partner yeah was that a good relationship it was okay
01:09:49
yeah yeah I think he was just still learning too because it was his first relationship and like
01:09:55
I think I struggled the most with that because I would always like attack him because
01:10:03
that was what I was used to so if he raised his voice I would never imagine like no I'll just
01:10:10
physically even I'd be like going to sleep and he'll be right then Bang I'll
01:10:15
throw my fists because that's that's just how I lived my life so I was traumat so going going from a newer
01:10:24
relationship he kind of like went through the walls of me as well because I became the abuser towards yeah but
01:10:31
just I suppose you've been in survival mode for so many years it was like a wow
01:10:35
but he understood baby that's um oh you was he a good man yeah he was good but
01:10:42
like I think he just got really it was hard because like I kept like I suppose any pattern you had at that time was
01:10:48
going to be like unpicking you know your issues from the previous decade yeah and
01:10:54
then so we kind of like just part of ways yeah and it's cool but now we're
01:10:57
just friends yeah you know and he we co-parent and he helps with the kids so like he's always sees the kids and he's
01:11:04
real helpful and he supports me which is really good so whatever I need give me a
01:11:08
whole hour sometimes like what's that what's a horror like annoying but he is helpful he he's he sounds like
01:11:18
a thoroughly decent man I've seen you can't I wouldn't want to be punched by
01:11:21
you yeah it sounds like a decent guy um good for you what's what's your relationship
01:11:26
like with guys now like you have um you know as is it trust issues or anger issues or no there's no anchor issues
01:11:35
there's no trust issues I just I just like being on my own yeah yeah I think this this conversation is
01:11:44
inspirational because like what you've been through and you've come out the
01:11:47
other end and you've done all the work yourself if you can get through this anyone can get through pretty much
01:11:52
anything a hundred percent 100 I believe anywhere in King just gotta keep not give up keep pushing
01:12:00
you know and find ways and you can do it on your own you can get through it you know it's a battle
01:12:07
but don't give up you know stand up to them it was like well yeah I never stood up
01:12:14
to them towards the end to you know towards the end then I started being this really strong wahine and being like
01:12:21
nah I'm not backing down you know so I wouldn't give up even though I'd put myself in the fire
01:12:27
line but I was like I'll get back straight up and I like literally say oh back down to nobody
01:12:34
and once I started doing that then I finally built the courage and he started backing off and that's the
01:12:41
uncompromising Miyamoto that we see in the ring these days yeah yeah completely yeah
01:12:47
um so it's a when did when did boxing come and Isaac Peach come back into your
01:12:50
life right yeah yeah maybe a couple of months old this is baby number five you're a mum of five
01:13:01
yeah Mama five yeah Superwoman by the way like the amount that you you get done you're up at four in the morning
01:13:06
off to a gym as like a personal trainer yeah and back home to get the kids out of out of bed and ready for school yeah
01:13:13
yeah and the kid drop off yeah it's a hell of a day me more training to be a
01:13:17
world champion well it's remarkable I like to do the kids drop off because I
01:13:22
don't really get much time with my children because like they're going to
01:13:24
school and then like after school I'm at training so like me doing the drop-offs
01:13:29
and the pickups is really important because that's even though it's only a
01:13:33
short time it's still moments with my kids so I really value that time with them so
01:13:40
um so you're the mum of five you have five kids and then you what you decide
01:13:45
oh I'm not busy enough I don't have enough in my life I need to go and sing
01:13:48
Isaac again no so what am I going to do with all the spare time no action I didn't want
01:13:54
I had to come back to boxing for training like you know I just like had a baby so
01:14:00
so okay I'm gonna do something and my partner at the time was like maybe you
01:14:04
should go back to boxing because I was like I don't want to do some fantasy it's like maybe you should go back to
01:14:08
boxing and I was like why they say oh cause you're good at it and I was like
01:14:12
oh no and he has never seen me fight anyway so he wouldn't even know and then
01:14:17
I was like you don't even know he's like well you I've heard you I haven't you've said you
01:14:21
I know like I didn't say I was good he's like no you are you should go give it a
01:14:25
go and I was like okay so I was like I'll just do it for fitness and he was like yeah go on so I
01:14:33
literally was like anyone want to do any training with me and then Isaac messages me like come to
01:14:39
my gym I'm only down the road you little [ __ ] and I was like I was like okay like yeah I'll come and then he's
01:14:47
like better not lie because I've always said yeah I'll come and then you don't
01:14:51
show I don't show no but this time I was like okay I'm gonna do it because I've already said yes and
01:14:58
then like I show up at his house and I was like why did I say yes I was gonna come no I don't want to let him down
01:15:04
again so I was like nah okay I've got to push through this battle like if I can get
01:15:09
I've been through the worst let's go come on like pick up you're gonna like to me in my
01:15:15
head I was like pick up your nuts Maria and be tough come on walk it because I was like I was so scared like no what
01:15:20
are they gonna think of me so I walk in the door and I was like okay I'm here
01:15:23
like I get through the door and he's like yeah come in because he's shocked
01:15:28
to see me so I I so you you so you met him when you're a team um pre-marriage when you were boxing and
01:15:35
then through those years where you were in a violent relationship like are you still in touch with him or not at all no
01:15:41
let's see hi yeah so he had no idea of what was going on in your life no no idea because I
01:15:49
would only see sit here at the shops or anything you know but well I'll see him at like a
01:15:56
boxing tournament yeah I'd never yeah and what's what's he what's what role is he does he play in
01:16:02
your life like how would you describe your relationship with him yeah yeah and his wife's like my sister
01:16:09
you know that's so cool yeah it's so cool and he's been your biggest
01:16:13
cheerleader right he was he was telling everyone you'd be a world champion long
01:16:17
before you believed it yeah all the way long like he said it when I first walked
01:16:21
in the door and I laughed I was like this guy's a joke bloody hell what have you been drinking
01:16:28
he wasn't drinking but you know yeah yeah talking your rubbish because I I hated professional boxing I
01:16:35
was like is it why what do you mean because I looked at her like nah I can't
01:16:40
punch and like those are four people that knock people out so I was like I hated pro boxing I was
01:16:47
so anti I was like nah that's that's for big tough strong people I'm not that I'm
01:16:54
like a I always viewed myself like I was a pitter patter because honestly if you
01:16:57
watch my amateur boxing it was like punch run punch run punch run like odd punch run away I was a council boxer
01:17:04
then I'll counter and I was really like tap tap tap tap is that just because
01:17:09
like you're trying to score points or whatever because yeah right I would like
01:17:12
I could never hit her I'll just tip right away tip run away but I suppose like it's you're doing what you need to
01:17:18
in order to get in the fight right and then like when he said he literally because I was like cool
01:17:23
yeah I'm gonna come do some training he's like yeah I'm gonna turn you into a
01:17:27
professional and I was like Oh I thought you were talking about amateur like I wouldn't mind just like having a few
01:17:32
amateur fights he's like nah you're going straight into the pros and I was
01:17:35
like nah he's joking I was like I hate Pros like why would you do that to me
01:17:40
even though he was like no you're gonna be a mean profiler you're going to be a
01:17:44
world champion I'm going to turn you into a world champion and I was like he's joking like I laughed I literally
01:17:49
laughed didn't take him serious next day I showed up training started and I was
01:17:54
like oh my gosh this is what training is like because I had to train with all the
01:17:58
beasts but you know all the professionals and then all the amateurs and I was like I
01:18:03
like just had a baby I had to try and keep up with them and I was like oh my gosh he's serious
01:18:08
and like I started doing sparring and then he and then he was like oh you gotta fight this
01:18:14
time and I was like he's really serious oh no I was like no way but then I was
01:18:20
like okay I'll give it a crack but if I don't like this I'm out I'm out I'm
01:18:24
walking that's how I saw it yeah but I would like to have someone that believes
01:18:28
in you that much it must have meant so much and I suppose eventually you're like well if he believes in Me Maybe I
01:18:33
should believe in myself yeah because like then everyone on the in the gym side of believe in me and they'll be
01:18:38
like ah you're good and I was like everyone says that so I can't even punch
01:18:43
though because I didn't know how to punch like I literally didn't know how
01:18:48
to punch which I was shocked came to my first fight and I was like whoa like yeah this is way better then
01:18:55
what the heck and um Liam lonigan um who you know very well he sent me a video last week of you um training with um is
01:19:04
it Zen Peach yeah is that is that um Isaac's son yeah llt he's eight eight yeah so the video that Liam
01:19:13
lonigan sent me um Zen's holding the pads and you're you're punching them and
01:19:17
you're punching them [ __ ] hard yeah I know how to punch now so like who is in page in what what's his
01:19:27
role in all of us um so Zoom Peach has been alongside me from day one he's like
01:19:33
supporting me and he's always like you know he had this he had this like lists
01:19:38
of like all his favorite Fighters and I was always in the top in the gym I was always in this top three
01:19:43
so yeah he's always supported me from the outside but he got more like for this fight he got a lot more invested in
01:19:51
it and he was like I want to train Mia he wanted to be more involved and so he just become a natural and like I just
01:19:59
started like he just randomly took me for one training and I was like okay keep teaching me please because
01:20:05
like what what does an eight-year-old know oh no I know I I get that he's been
01:20:10
raised in that environment and he's like you know little boys want to be like
01:20:14
their dad so they copy but eight he knows nothing oh he knows a lot a lot it's so funny because like he knows a
01:20:24
lot that everyone wanted to steal him from me what do you mean he knows a lot like
01:20:31
he's he's like critiquing your Technique or is it more like a head coach than a
01:20:36
technique coach or what um just he sees he's got a really like it's the best way to put him is like his
01:20:44
dad and his mum put together in one brain and he's like it's amazing I I freak out like how well
01:20:52
he knows it and he's like no you do it like this he literally can mimic everyone in our gym like our Styles it'd
01:21:00
be like he'll be like who's this fighter and I'll be like oh that's drone who's
01:21:04
this photo oh that's Andre he literally knows how to mimic all of us wow that's
01:21:10
amazing yeah and does he um does he give you like a pep talk before the fight or anything like that
01:21:15
really eight-year-old like what what's an eight-year-olds people talk what does he he doesn't cross he's never
01:21:22
ever you know he doesn't even need to talk to me he has just his look and his
01:21:27
language his body language tells me at all because he literally says he's always said he's the only one that's
01:21:34
never been like if if Mia wins he's always like no not if she will win no one's ever going to hurt Mia she's too
01:21:42
strong he trusts he knows my ability because he's trained alongside me and he
01:21:47
just thinks that I'm a freak so he's a freak himself in training yeah yeah oh that's amazing God what a
01:21:53
special kid yeah what a special relationship yeah he's my best friend I I and he calls Miko what's Co stand for
01:22:01
like you know how you say bro oh yeah yeah but in the east coast they say all right
01:22:09
um what does the future hold so you've got this this world title now in the bantamweight division yeah
01:22:15
um what's next keep on fighting yeah yeah that's what I love doing I feel like
01:22:22
that's a metaphor for you not just in the ring in the boxing sense but also outside of the ring as well yeah just
01:22:27
keep fighting keep moving forward keep pushing but definitely I won all the belts
01:22:32
what other bouts do you need to get um the ibf WBO WBA WBC what have I missed Ring magazine oh yeah they are they're
01:22:44
all of them there oh yeah well I reckon you can do that by the end of the year a fight
01:22:52
bro can you can you get good money like I'm thinking of say like Joseph Parker
01:22:57
um Anthony Joshua like Tyson Fury like is it going to get to the point where you're making enough that you don't have
01:23:02
to go to the gym at 4am to train other people doesn't matter what I love what I do and the money doesn't
01:23:11
put nah I don't care about money it's not it's not about the money for me it's
01:23:16
what I love this is what I'm passionate and you know to me I look at I view like
01:23:21
everyone says money as like a bone like is good for you you need money you need but I've never needed money so I don't
01:23:28
like I've never like you do need a certain amount of money but okay bye to get by as long as that you've got a roof
01:23:35
over my head and I'm able to feed my kids that's and I do what I love I'm
01:23:41
happy you know I'm happy as money doesn't make me happy because my kids is
01:23:47
what makes me happy and doing boxing being in that ring you can't put a price
01:23:52
on that like literally if you're like if you're that passionate about boxing you
01:23:57
hop on that ring oh man you can't buy that that feeling and that just feeling
01:24:03
so like it's just you and your opponent your eyes light up when you talk about
01:24:12
this now as a non-boxer I'm trying to understand it is that um like an adrenaline rush that you get when you
01:24:17
get hat or just an adrenaline rush that you get when you hit them and you can tell that you've hurt them
01:24:22
twice it goes both ways like one I love I love it when I step in the ring I switch to
01:24:30
the Nightmare and then I'm like okay um this is different this is me like this is I feel it like I feel at home
01:24:38
when I'm in that ring and then I just look straight down at my opponent and I'm like which one's gonna give who want
01:24:45
each other first and I'm like who's the bigger puncher or who's gonna hurt like
01:24:49
are you gonna hurt me or am I going to hurt myself really that's the challenge
01:24:53
I I have like I literally like when someone hits me good I'm like I wake up like honestly if you if you've caught me
01:25:02
with like a good punch I'll wake up and I'll be like I turned to like this my I just switched
01:25:09
to like now I want to hurt you even more it makes you angry yeah it's like not
01:25:14
even angry yeah I've lost me and I'm like damn it she got me I'm gonna get her even gooder
01:25:21
like no way that's the challenge I love so like I really love it when I'm in the
01:25:26
ring and someone clocks me really good and you'll just see me go like like I'm chopping the tree down you know
01:25:33
like just hacking into the tree I'm like that's how it feels like when you punch
01:25:37
you're like hacking into that tree so you know if you're a wood Chopper and
01:25:41
you're chopping that wood and you're trying to cut that tree down as fast as
01:25:45
you can yeah when someone hits me good like that I'm like I'm like let's go it up Leslie and
01:25:52
you're not too nice I remember people saying over the years that Joseph Parker
01:25:56
he's a big puncher but he's too nice and he doesn't have that killer instinct
01:26:03
but as soon as about as soon as it's finished then I'm real polite yeah I
01:26:06
just switch straight off yeah well that's remarkable well you're incredible
01:26:10
how many more years have you got in here plenty yeah just the number I'm 33 but I feel like I'm 22. yeah yeah
01:26:18
I'm so pleased I'm so pleased that you say that because it does feel like from
01:26:21
our conversation that like um your 20s were pretty much lost yeah just living yeah
01:26:29
oh that's so cool I don't I don't like I don't let um title me yeah it's one thing I really I
01:26:36
don't like I don't like being titled because you know when you title and you
01:26:40
put you're limiting yourself yes when you say your your um 33 I was like oh okay what is this what does C3 mean and
01:26:49
they're like oh because I'm at the stage no no if you're gonna that that means
01:26:53
you're Tiding yourself and you're limiting yourself so I don't like saying
01:26:56
that I'm like nah Asia's No Limit I I agree 100 I I turned 50 in um February
01:27:03
this year and it's I feel like other people sometimes put limits on you but um you shouldn't put them on yourself no
01:27:09
you shouldn't put it on yourself yeah 100 um geez we've talked about some real
01:27:14
heavy stuff today and I really really appreciate it and I I know it was hard for you to talk about and it's getting
01:27:19
easier and easier yeah um what advice would you be for anyone that's listening to this that um is
01:27:25
going through what you went through or knows someone that is shame like use your voice because we
01:27:35
silence ourselves like we really silence ourselves because we live under that abuser by us not being staying silent
01:27:43
then we're allowing the abuser to control our life and we just like for years like look how
01:27:50
long it's taken me for me to realize that I lived under that abuser for so long and it's only just now I've used my
01:27:58
voice I'm finally relief like it's like this you know you have a big rock on
01:28:02
your chest and all of a sudden after like 16 years that rock comes off you you feel so light and I truly believe
01:28:09
you just got to speak and just keep speaking like don't hold it in and don't
01:28:15
be ashamed like so many people like not just even women like even men are so ashamed don't be ashamed of what you're
01:28:23
being through and don't be ashamed of what you've done you know own up to it
01:28:28
and push on and doesn't mean just because that's what you were doesn't mean you can you you can't
01:28:35
change what you were and you can be something different yeah draw a line in the sand yeah oh that's cool you're an
01:28:41
inspiration you really are like could you ever have imagined 10 years ago that your life 10
01:28:47
years forward is like where it is now no and you know it's funny because like one
01:28:51
thing I've really learned is what I'm really passionate about like children
01:28:54
you know like I want to change what I've been really passionate about I want to
01:28:59
change the narrative the narrative in how parents are teaching their children which is
01:29:06
you know for our children the reason why our children shut down and why they don't speak which I've learned in my own
01:29:14
kids is children just want to be trusted right and what I'm scared of and I don't want this
01:29:21
for my daughter and this is what I've learned I don't want I've told my
01:29:25
daughter to trust me and so like there's an episode my daughter she tried a vape
01:29:30
right and my mum went off her head and grout her and I grabbed my mum and said to my mum no don't ground my daughter I
01:29:37
said you're just a nan know your place and then I said to my daughter it's okay you're not in trouble and I
01:29:45
said you can trust me speak to me what what made you want to do the Vape and she said oh she was kind of shocked like
01:29:52
she was expecting me to lose it and I was like no I'm not angry I said I'm
01:29:58
okay with it what's the matter what why did you want to do um what made you want
01:30:01
to do she goes of course all the kids are doing it it's cool yeah yeah and I
01:30:06
laughed I laughed but deep down I am in my mind I was angry but I laughed because I was like I needed her to know
01:30:15
that I'm okay because you know we're wrong what a lot of people don't parents
01:30:21
don't understand is that I feel that teenagers have the most pressure because
01:30:24
they go to school and they have how many teachers do they have to deal with like
01:30:29
five teachers yeah then they have homework and they've got to deal with all those homework then they come home
01:30:35
and then they're dealing with the parents because the parents are like that you have expectation for the child
01:30:40
and then if they're not reaching their expectation then you're growling them
01:30:43
and then you grow them you shut the child down and that's why our children don't speak to us and that's what I
01:30:49
don't want my daughter to know that and my son is that if I tell them don't do
01:30:54
you guys don't do that by growling them they're never going to speak to me so
01:30:57
they're never going to be able to tell them tell me about their relationship
01:31:00
they need their mum to know that I trust them so they feel comfortable so like there's things that they talk to me that
01:31:07
I don't like but I'm like that's okay I don't growl them because if I grow them
01:31:13
I'm shutting them and I don't want to shut their trust that's so true I I was
01:31:17
raised in a very strict household so I just keep everything from my parents yeah I became very sneaky yeah you
01:31:23
become very sneaky because you don't yeah yeah shut off and I become silent you know
01:31:36
and I want to change that parents need to look at how they approach their children and just understand have an
01:31:40
understanding understanding of what they're going through and that's why our
01:31:44
children commit suicide as well and their mental health is so unhealthy is because we don't realize that we're
01:31:49
actually shutting our children down by telling them to shut up you know we tell them to shut up and don't answer back
01:31:56
and like you know don't answer don't tell us it because they're like
01:32:00
they want to speak but us as parents we're telling them to shush be quiet shut up you're annoying and you're
01:32:08
shutting the child down and how are they meant to know they don't have any understanding how are they meant to
01:32:12
understand their emotions and feelings you know I allow my son to express how he feels and I listen and sit down even
01:32:19
though it bothers me but I'm like no I've got to think of his mental health
01:32:23
you know really think that's that's my biggest issue like I've seen so many children suffer you know
01:32:30
and it's very sad it's not their fault it's because us parents we don't realize
01:32:34
what we're doing to our children we really don't Mia motor you are amazing
01:32:42
um I'm so excited to see what the future brings inside the ring and outside the
01:32:45
ring I feel like um yeah I'm so pleased that you've got the profile and the fame
01:32:51
if you want to call it that that you have now because I think there's so many
01:32:53
lessons that people can can get from what you've been through which is unfort
01:32:57
a lot of it's unfortunate but you've come out the other side and you're a
01:33:00
better person [Music] yeah Miyamoto thank you so much for coming on the podcast today thank you
01:33:06
for having me I appreciate that [Music]