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is that true you you were sing a therapist when you were 11 man from 11 till 17 yeah how often like weekly fortn
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nightly yeah weekly every Friday from school and for Anger Management anger management um I I had trouble kind of
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sitting still um my mom did think I had add and I think I was diagnosed by the school person they said I you know
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exhibiting ADHD I'm still not sure if I do but the in was kind of a place to go
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where I felt safe to talk uh about things that were happening at home or like just creatively have a talk
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sometimes would sit and do nothing you know like just draw I'd be drawing um
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but it was just a space for me and I had that space for years yeah that's a lot
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of work yeah and and at a very young age too yeah why why were you so [ __ ] up that's a great question bro I don't even
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I still feel like I still am very much that way um no no well well can I just say you you may still feel that way but
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the um um like the kings that I've got to know and this is only since 2016 um is just like hardworking
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disciplined reliable uh always on time always courteous always polite always nice I don't know I don't know I don't I
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don't know what what you what you see when you look in the mirror but from an
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outsider's perspective he's he's a good man maybe it was all that work oh yeah
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it's it's it's a lot of work it's a lot of work but it's like what I was like in
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my mid-40s before I went to a therapist for the first time and really yeah yeah yeah I probably should have done it a
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long time earlier I don't know if 11s or already either but I mean yeah maybe in
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between why why why so late for you I I think I was just scared yeah I and I uh when you have you you're like where do I
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start like like where do I start but you as soon as you get to that room you realize oh they're the trained
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professional they'll they'll they'll lead for sure um so that's that's a yeah
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that's a lot of work why why were you so angry man I would I I don't know if
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anger was a fair assessment of what I was I think the frustration from not being
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able to communicate effectively like so I could only it's like the equivalent
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of a baby trying to yell like I'm hungry right and like all they can do is cry so
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for me all I could do was Punch walls and like be exert anger it's not that I
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was necessarily angry it was just frustration of being able to say like like I didn't that you try again
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shut up Sir oh still angry yeah yeah exactly smash [ __ ] um yeah yeah so it was yeah the frustration of being
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able to say things like like I miss my dad you know not not being able to say those words as a kid
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cuz you don't even know that that's what's going on um so yeah again when my
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dad wasn't around you know I'm like yearning for a male uh energy that I
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don't have and I don't know how to say that so I'm punching walls and throwing
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rocks at windows and all this kind stuff yeah well that makes sense yeah that that makes a lot of sense so so you're
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just angry and you just don't know how to articulate it for sure for sure and
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yeah like I mean man as a kid buto I look at Kids now and I think they're so
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advanced in some ways and then I think they're also silly in a lot of ways you
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tick cuz they can read anything they can Google things now they they seem smart uh even my daughter like she'll she'll
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tell me things that I didn't know about emotions like she'll say oh dad you know
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this feeling comes from this and did you know that if you talk about this I'm
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like how are you this young and understand this um so it's it's a new world where back then I think it was a
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lot more about shut up like just shut up and get on with it you go for a run yeah
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cuz how how old are you now I'm 33 33 yeah yeah see I'm I'm 50 I'm a I'm like
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I'm almost like another generation like a like older than you and yeah yeah yeah
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yeah so you must think the same about us you got Fu no no no I'm guessing this
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being like just just huge like seismic leaps like in the last in the last generation in terms of technology and
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information and everything for sure so yes so go back to the real early years so um yes compl your relationship with
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your dad's good now but it was comp so your mom and dad broke up when you were
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a young age yeah young dad dad's moldy mom's son M but was adopted out to a
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pangy family did some research good man yes yeah yeah yeah so and they broke were they ever together with you or did
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did he B I got a couple years uh I think with that I want to say five age of five or six so I
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remember him like there's memories for sure and I see photos so he was around
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um but like do I like as a kid you don't know you're making you're piecing it together as you
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go you know so all of a sudden dad not there and you just think oh he's probably just gone to the shop like you
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know you just you don't know you're like oh he'll be around soon and then you see
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him in a weekend and you're like oh he's back and you you piece it together right
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um with very horrible tools you're piecing together like a [ __ ] clay thing that you have no idea how to do so
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um bad analogy but yeah the the absence was I wasn't sure if I knew he was around or not I just felt he was absent
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yeah and and your mom there was a a nasty breakup right so she she [ __ ] about yeah I don't think they liked each
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other to much and my mom for for fair reason you know I I think about these there's so many kids that I know that
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have gone through the similar thing of having a broken home and sometimes the mom will react in a in a
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way because she's been hurt you know um whether it be cheating with physical
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whatever it is and the reaction without her knowing could affect the kids you know but but I
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have to forgive her knowing that she didn't have the tools to communicate that either so um yeah she's just
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probably just like projecting her anger angry yeah and fair enough I'd be pissed
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off too you should have sent her to anger me yeah maybe she was sending me because
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she was secretly like what did you learn what but um did she she you look back now from the perspective of um a
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guy that's been you're doing the solo dead thing did she do a good job is I
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think she did a great job man yeah she raised us well like she raised us well man I'm I'm a curious guy I respectful
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the woman for the most part um she's taught me how to be lovely she's the
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lovely side of me yeah when you for for the most part what do you mean yeah like
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saying please and thank you or something you know she was she ingrained that and
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meant to be courteous I pulled chairs out four people glasses of water and just that's innate in me from her my my
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dad's taught me how to be a businessman and how to be a man more recently um but yeah my M my mom lives
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within me in my daily how do how do you mean what expect about being a man Walking Tall yeah being able to walk
00:07:16
tall and I don't know if you remember when we first started uh when I 2016 when I first started doing radio runs
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bro my shoulders are Hunchback I see photos and stuff of it I was really nervous scared to be in a room and take
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up space um so he trying to make himself small yeah yeah yeah just naturally doing that
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and um I I I never I never I never noticed that I I just thought you were a humble guy oh that's like like a guy
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that was you know how we talked before about the iceberg thing and yeah it sort of felt like you were just suddenly in
00:07:46
the spotlight like a like a deer on the spotlight that's what happened yeah and I guess for someone
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who I would consider myself an introvert which is awkward because I'm a performer
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right but yeah it did feel I did feel like a um a daring headlights is a good way to put it and so my my dad
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kind of being in my life taught me how to pull my shoulders back take take the space and and own it yeah yeah [ __ ] so
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you're still doing work hey yeah you're still a still a work in progress yeah
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yeah yeah yeah oh bro forever man yeah yeah yeah like I mean until we're gone you know yeah well
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no that's cool I I um I fully agree it's like it's like a growth mindset but I
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think a lot a lot of people just s of give up and they go well this is how I am you take it or leave it um you think
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so I think a lot of people are like that but I think it's a it's it's a great way
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to be to you know always have um work on and always be tweaking and trying to improve yourself yeah I actually never
00:08:43
thought of it like that like I I I figure everyone's trying to do the right thing and get better but maybe right
00:08:50
every every everyone wants to wants to be the best version of themselves but does take it does take work does take a
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lot of work yeah so you can't you can wish it but that's not going to make it
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happen yeah that's not going to do [ __ ] yeah like I I I'm I I feel like I'm
00:09:01
better at communicating on this podcast than what I am with some of my personal relationships and I know that's
00:09:06
something that I'm trying to work on you know just get a camera in between you
00:09:10
guys going to do chat just get a microphone in between I don't know and uh yeah yeah and and I'm um I'm I'm
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obsessed with like pleasing people and I I'll sometimes say yes to things then
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afterwards I'll be like [ __ ] why did I say yes to that wow okay I want to know
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is that why you were here today no bro that's actually quite that's that that was never a thing
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weirdly I know what you mean because I think I don't know if it's a human thing
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like we like to just go yeah bro yeah I'll see you you know but I think for me
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when I started doing business that attitude isn't always great like if you start saying yes to you burn yourself
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out I can't be there for my daughter because I'm doing 300 other things yeah
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and so I actually learned by being a dad and a business owner that the power of no is actually a
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lot stronger than um the power of yes yeah I say abolutely say know a lot more these days it's got It's a powerful word
00:10:02
he yeah no and and to mean it like no I still love you you know like hey bro no but I love you and yeah yeah I think
00:10:11
people respect that Honesty okay so so yeah so your mom and dad split when you like say fiveish or say so who's in the
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house it's you and your older brother me my older brother my little sister and my
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mom yeah so you're um your older brother he was kind of like your male your male
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figure in your life he became it yeah he kind of was thrust into it I guess just
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by by way default um strong dude man very very strong character yeah and was he he he was a bit of a loky bad dude
00:10:38
yeah oh not Loki he's just a he's just a gangster man I think for my for
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people like me MIP Polynesian it's not uncommon to have a man thrust into that
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role early and then to have to wield the responsibilities of a young father brother yeah or cousin yeah well
00:11:03
I feel like I'm doing this a lot feel like we're having having a route like IR time laugh sorry bro if
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that comes on your thing sorry bro yeah no that's good that's definitely not
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being edited out so say so you were from what what read you were sort of Hing down that path as well like um you you
00:11:19
had Street Smart so you never got in trouble but what what we doing just like dealing weight yeah bro oh it's so funny
00:11:26
like it's funny cuz I know my daughter might watch this like yeah like bro survival survival is a best way
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to put it like it wasn't that I was doing one thing or anything it's just
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survival like you do what you can at that age um I had a big chip on my shoulder
00:11:45
around blaming the police and white people for problems that I think that just comes in with The Narrative of
00:11:50
being in the Hood um so I had these kind of chips on my shoulder and to fall into
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line you play ball you know what I mean you you go with your cousins to these places and you go to these House parties
00:12:05
and you do these things that they do because there's no other no one telling
00:12:10
you don't do that you know so you're just rolling with the punches um yeah
00:12:15
yeah so yep I was I was doing stupid [ __ ] for sure when I was young you ever get caught or get in trouble or I think
00:12:23
the worst thing I got caught was like spray painting um and it was literally caught
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red-handed painted and there's red paint in my hands the cops come and they're
00:12:31
like who's been spray painting I was like not me check my hands [ __ ] red paint actually yeah there's a line about
00:12:37
that in that um that album we're talking about Dad's son exactly so so then what happens they
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they you get diversion you get in trouble they just take you home take you home they tell you to clean your [ __ ]
00:12:47
you clean your thing it was lucky it was wet so it came off and then I got home and I'd get a get a hiding you from your
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mom yeah [Music]