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myy Baker welcome to my podcast oh thanks Tom I I I think it's worth mentioning at the outset um you mess you
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weren't even on my radar and you messaged me out of the blue and said um can I can I come on your podcast or
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words to that effect yeah well basically I want to have a look at your setup Dom
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so um I wanted to make sure that we're looking at to do something quite similar
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but in a different sense so we're going to talk about that afterwards so thought
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I'd come to the person who actually does podcast so yeah so we're looking at to do a
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moldi Pacifica one and we're just trying to get funding for it so thought why not
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talk to Dom actually be on his podcast and try and get some money at the same time I know I um I I really appreciated
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the the courage and since I've been yeah courage is the word confidence I don't
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know um but since I've been doing this podcast that's happened happened a bit
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where people have asked to come on the first couple of times that happened I thought oh that person [ __ ] rates
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them and then and then as I've gone I've realized um the issue with that is me
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that's like a tall poppy thing and I was part of the problem so now when someone
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reaches out to me and says can I come on your podcast I'm not always going to say
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yes it's not always going to be a fit oh it's not [ __ ] here straight away it's
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not [ __ ] here straight away no no but I I I even even if it's not a year I
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applaud people doing it I think it's really cool and um yeah I'm trying to
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change my mindset in the way I view the those things because it's very unky isn't it to put yourself forward like
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that I think it is and that's why like things like this I think your podcast
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what I've not what I've liked about it is that it's a range of people it's not
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just sport it's not high level not always high level people it's people out
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of the blue that have got a really good story and and then you you're able to
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draw it out of them so that was one of the things why I thought you know what this would be great to start off with
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see what it looks like come on have maybe have a look at my own story um yeah yeah well you're going to have to
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fill in some blanks because I've I researched quite a bit and I reached out to some um people in the community as
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you and um not a lot of information came back from my digging um but I feel like
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if you're willing to put yourself forward to come on then you're willing
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to tell the stories as well so who is mey Baker uh yeah in a nutshell in a nutshell so I was uh bought born and
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bred down in the bottom of the earth so basically on a farm that could see Stewart Island so that's uh I guess we
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were the only multi farmers in that area so my my parents owned a farm when I was
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really young and then right up to I was about 16 moved off there in a 10 acre block outside of
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inago um but yeah so went to high school down there played a lot of hockey field
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hockey played for eight New Zealand age groups and then went to St Margaret's
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and Christ Church which is a private school not a lot of moldies say South iseland is not no
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place for a moldy talk 70s ' 80s uh ' 80s ' 80s yeah ' 80s and '90s so um so
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very much dis attached to my culture um yeah so ended up playing hockey there we made some New Zealand sides and
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things like that got burnt out um would be the word so I was in a New Zealand Doo Academy and basically I just
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couldn't do it anymore and what what I wanted to talk about is like coming from
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a multi family right down the bottom of the earth is around about what happens in mul familyes especially when alcohol
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is involved um and then how how that Translate into Sport and what happens in sports teams and things like that so we
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ended I ended up basically stopping playing hockey when I got out of school went to University at kenary University
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stopped playing hockey all together found started playing rugby the culture in rugby is the one of the best cultures
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that you'll ever find I've got best friends there and things like that but
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on on the flip side of that there's also this drinking binge culture that I um
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gravitated towards and so had a great time lots of lots of drinking on the F and off the on the flip side there's
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lots of lots of drinking right um so played played a lot of rugby played for canbury played um sevens as well for Al
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M for 10 years then I went on to play rugby league was kiwi firm we won a World Cup in 2004 played uh I guess for
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did the first um Queensland versus new played for Queensland um then went over season played coached overseas for 10
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years and then came back home so since I've been home um sobriety like you know I stopped
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drinking uh started happening a couple years ago where I stopped drinking um at what age I started stop completely
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stopped was this year but for the last three years I've sort of sort of like
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maybe had a drink or two or things like that and haven't touched really any alcohol for for this whole year sort of
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thing and what that's done and I tell you what I think alcohol for one thing sport is
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great you've got your friends right when you stop playing sport everyone's doing
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their own thing but your alcohol you still can drink and you can still go out your mates and whatever when you stop
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playing Sport and you stop drinking sobriety is actually [ __ ] hard like not drinking it's not the fact that you it's
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the alcohol you can stop drinking alcohol that's easy but it's actually all the emotional things that come with
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alcohol it's like numbing and you don't get to feel it cuz you get to go out and
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drink with your mates and have a good time yeah you don't been fixed but once
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that stops IT it's actually [ __ ] hard yeah yeah well there's um there is a lot
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to unpack um so I appreciate that introduction it's like the the condensed version of the M Baker story yeah um
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okay we'll go to a recent time then we'll go all the way back so um you sort
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of I suppose your phone was popping off a couple of years ago when Ruby tu's
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book came out Ruby probably the the biggest thing in New Zealand women's rugby at the moment um so in the the
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opening chapter of her book um you get a mention and first of all I want to know like did
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she give you heads up like did she message you say hey M I'm going to talk about you in the book is this all good
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or is it a complete surprise and you just start getting texts from people saying oh [ __ ] yeah no she she contacted
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me when I guess the the writer was writing the book and said can you like sit down and have a discussion with this
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writer um where I'm writing my biography basically I was like yeah sweet ass
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whatever you know like [ __ ] you whatever yeah like you don't know it you know you
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don't know what you don't know so so she rang me up and then and we sort of
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talked about like you know what it was what ruby was like and um and we all know if you look at Ruby now you you
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know that she's one of the best she's inspirational she's an amazing rugby
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player but she's also amazing human so those sorts of things came through about
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you know what sort of rugby player she was when she was back then but then she was like asking digging deep about rugby
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history and so I think you can Google it now on sevens and you get the old mold sevens you can actually get that now man
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a couple years AG you couldn't get that history you couldn't get anything like
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that and so a lot of the history's been lost but now it seems to be like little
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bits in here are coming back so paints a picture but she actually painted a Hu that that writer in Ruby's book painted
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a picture of that history of rugby 7even so it was great so I think she did a great job yeah AB absolutely um so so
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you met Ruby when she was 18 yeah first year of uni and her first time playing rugby and sevens yeah and and then she
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tells the story about um well she calls you famously abrupt I would say that I'm like honest
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like I think I think it's I don't know if a I have over the years Cur like you
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know that's when I coached Ruby it was my first ever coaching gig so can imagine going from transitioning from
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just playing to being a coach and I was I'm abrasive like I'm already abrasive
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as it is so um my personality transformed into coaching and I kind of was was still in the player mentality
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was like [ __ ] just run like just like why why why can't you get from there to
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there like what is your problem so it took me a long time in the coaching space to actually realize oh actually
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you've got to break things down you've actually got to coach the technique
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you've actually got to go through all this process so Ruby got basically a real fresh out of the boat coach but
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also it's I'm still the same personality I'll still tell her yeah we she was a
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fresh out of the boat player as well fresh player fresh coach um I still tell her that what she's got the most ugliest
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pass in women's rugby she I'm not a rugby play I why why is it awful I have
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no idea it's been effective well gets there how does so being being an Abrupt
00:09:03
person how does that work in 2023 CU it feels like feels like these days like the threshold for bullying is very very
00:09:09
low very low yeah yeah thanks Dom I know that you've gone through this yourself you've just got to make sure
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that you you tweak a little things yeah yeah yeah yeah um have you had to soften
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soften your approach over the years yeah I think it comes with a bit bit with maturity as well there's a little bit of
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maturity there's there's big part of it is like knowing your players knowing who
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you can say what are you up to you know really delivering the message you know there's so certain players that will
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allow you to deliver it the way that it's blunt as and they'll sift through
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it and go yep I get the message but there's other players that actually need
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a little bit of a sugar coating on it so you you just really got to understand the player that you you're dealing with
00:09:51
otherwise you get you're bullying thing going on Dom yeah my my very first boss
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in radio was a guy called Steve row and he would drag me into his office so I was 17 18 19 at the time and he would
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just tear me a new one he would destroy me and had be red in the face and had veins popping out of the side of his
00:10:10
neck and the side of his face and you know what I needed it I needed it at the time and I responded well to it whereas
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I suppose that's the management style with a lot of other people that'd be
00:10:19
twatting off to HR immediately well this like you said if you look at some of the
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players and and it's great to see some coaches give summer inspirational summer
00:10:28
growth some development but there's some coaches just like hey here's the
00:10:32
expectation if you want to be in this team you got to meet it and if you can't
00:10:36
meet it catch you later so the high performance space is actually change I think it's changing it might not be
00:10:41
quite there in New Zealand but you look at Chelsea football there you know the woman coach of she's just like man if
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you don't want to be in Chelsea get the [ __ ] out like she's just like you know you're
00:10:51
either a Chelsea player or you're not and I I actually think what's going to
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happen is that once that high performance program starts moving moving really quickly and and gets to where
00:11:01
everyone is competing for like four to five different spots you are going to get either you want to be here or you
00:11:08
can keep on going yeah yeah it's a necessity I think with high performance sport so um the the story that Ruby
00:11:14
tells in the opening chapter of who [ __ ] um do you want to do you want to retell
00:11:18
it from your version of events well actually can't remember this conversation until I read it a few times
00:11:24
I had to think about it hey hey by the way by the way just before you get into that I'll just um I've got a quote here
00:11:28
from that chapter of Ruby's book you did do um this year we are coached by medy
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Baker famously abrupt really honest never says anything for fluff I'm really
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trying but it seems nothing I do is good enough for Baker you must have been you must have
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been like so I don't know stoked when you read that I'd be honest you reckon
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that's honest well I was just like when I when she when I read it it's like what
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the [ __ ] Ruby people are going to think I'm crazy cuz there is something else in
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that book where I'm kicking water bottles but um I didn't get to that yeah
00:12:04
good um and I'm just like what what and she go yeah but M that's you know this
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is this is a story of some true honesty here that you were really honest and I you know I valued that and and to this
00:12:14
day if you ever ask Ruby about feedback you can give it to her as as plain as what day as you want and she'll take
00:12:22
that feedback and go away from from from everyone or just people she everybody everybody I coached her and P and sens
00:12:28
um in the states cuz she had a sticle and I and you know she I was like you know how's it going she goes oh you know
00:12:35
I [ __ ] up a 211 I go yeah you did [ __ ] up two on one simple it's so simple with
00:12:40
her you know what I mean she like recognizes it we talk about it move on and and like she's easy to coach just
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like yeah you probably should have passed that and she's like no I was like damn you know and and you can have those
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and you can have that banter with her so so she's a player that you can do that
00:12:58
with and um because she's so professional as well she'll go away and think about things she's really really
00:13:03
good in depth indepth thinker and also you know she'll give you the kitchen sink she'll throw everything into
00:13:09
anything so she's a player you want on on your team because she might not be
00:13:14
the most skillful player in the world but man she just gives 120% and those are the people that you want you don't
00:13:20
necessarily need all the flashy players in the world but you need those those players that will go past 100% yeah well
00:13:27
sounds like she wasn't always like that so so that's the story she tells in the
00:13:30
book yeah um loved rugby but hated the fitness aspect of it terrible yeah so what's what's your recollection of that
00:13:36
story from your side so so basically we we had a bunch of players um KRA was in that group aidia Marsh was in that group
00:13:45
Ana tip lady was in that group Haley tip lady like we had a bunch of black Fs in
00:13:50
that group plus some kiwi FS uh Tisa tahu was in that group um and then we had a few American players
00:13:59
in that in that group and all of them were like look man the American players I tell you what are the fitti
00:14:04
[ __ ] in the world they lift they run man they can do everything they're robotic they are just they're
00:14:12
just fit right and so they spend more time in the gym and running than on their skills where were that we were at
00:14:20
that time it's a bit different now the other way around where we would just be
00:14:23
able to play play play the ball use our skills and things like that so in Ruby's
00:14:28
C she was fighting against people that were really fit like they were awesome they're awesome players and she was uh
00:14:35
she says middle but she was at the back this is like doing some doing some Sprints or laps of the field yeah
00:14:41
basically some I think they were like I think they were Broncos or they were like a 300 meter run around there
00:14:49
and you had to catch the other group and things like that so you kind of yeah it
00:14:52
was quite competitive yeah we're just introducting with bits of Ruby story so
00:14:56
she the way she tells it um she was at practice early like practicing her pass or something I'll tell you the past is
00:15:02
[ __ ] so Ruby can Ruby can practice as much as she want she's like you turn up and it's
00:15:08
almost like she she thinks oh oh hope hopefully you know M notices me passing and and Praises man were you in a bad
00:15:15
mood that day apparently you just blew your whistle and to to start running yeah no no that's normal oh
00:15:21
yeah that was just like like yeah obviously I'm not like that now but like you know was just let's get it get into
00:15:29
it I know I don't need to let's don't puss around let's go and she's just like
00:15:33
oh you didn't say anything to me [ __ ] I'm CU I'm not get your ass and then run
00:15:36
the Ruby but like again like look Ruby Ruby was all she needed to be in that group who was so good that she needed to
00:15:46
see and this is what where mentors are so [ __ ] good that she needs to see that if you want to be if you want to be
00:15:52
the best those are the people that you have to compete against not you you if you keep on competing against yourself
00:15:58
you're never going to be the best but those are people in front of you those
00:16:02
are the people in front of you you've got to catch them and that's that's as
00:16:05
simple as that there's no black and white on that one yeah so yes so she was
00:16:08
doing the runs the the shuttles or Broncos whatever it was it's just pussing around would be the word okay
00:16:13
yeah well I think she even sort of admits that in her book she wasn't even trying cuz she didn't like it and then
00:16:17
you start jogging along beh beside her and have have a chat yeah I was just like you know everything's in your mind
00:16:24
all of these freaking drills that we do are actually in your mind your mind your
00:16:28
mind is your biggest barrier not your physical not not not your body it's your
00:16:33
mind once your mind get once you get your mind on on board you'll go and then then basically
00:16:40
she just kind of I don't know what happened but she just like kind of if we were in a car she'd be moving like the
00:16:46
gear stick and she just took off and I was just like you know if you catch those group you'll be you'll be part of
00:16:51
the the group that are one of the best players in the world she says you told her she could be the best sevens player
00:16:56
could be so what year was this oh 200 gez I couldn't even tell seven yeah okay CU because in 2019 so like a decade
00:17:09
later she was named world seven player of the year so you were right yeah oh yeah I
00:17:16
know so so so you um so you meant did you did you genuinely mean it like how did you how did you see that in her as
00:17:23
an 18-year-old playing a first year of rugby were you just sort of like pumping up your T no I would never do that
00:17:28
absolutely not it was genuine you genuinely believed that yeah yeah why so she was unfit like lazy at running had a
00:17:35
terrible pass yeah why would you say that it's it's the it's the person
00:17:38
within like I knew that she had because she has traits of being being the best like you you can see it in players
00:17:46
before they even you can just see Talent right so Ruby had what she did have was
00:17:52
she could change speed she was tall she levers so she could offload if she needed to um she had the ability to get
00:17:59
strength quite easily and if she put the work in she'd be freaking fit pretty
00:18:04
quickly and her mindset was pretty good like you know once she put her mind to it I thought yeah you you you'll go real
00:18:10
far do you don't think she's going to be the best in the world well at that time
00:18:15
there was no world so so maybe but that must been amazing for you in 2019 it's like a full circle moment
00:18:24
or did you remember saying that or did she remind you no I I remember saying like look I've
00:18:29
coached Stacy fled over in um in Ireland I've coached several USA players couple
00:18:38
Australians you know and generally I kind of didn't really think anything of it because I feel as though
00:18:46
that they just sort of play with each other and it's just a thing you know what I mean so I never really think
00:18:50
about you know oh that was me it was kind of like well you know here here's here's a piece of of my sort of thing
00:18:57
that I can give you and then you know put that in your tool Bel see how that goes sort of thing so never go oh you
00:19:02
know I made rubyy no [ __ ] way did I make rubyy lots of people made Ruby toi and Ruby Tu Made ruby Tui yeah yeah oh
00:19:09
but she she credits you with um teaching her the power of her mind yeah yeah so yeah maybe that yeah there you claim
00:19:17
that I'll claim that one yeah sure I'll take that one okay all right so that's
00:19:21
that's enough about rubby it's it's amazing yeah piss off Ruby that book is
00:19:25
a is like haunting me oh yeah has has it been an enjoyable experience though like
00:19:31
you're right there at the front of the book like the very front chapter um has
00:19:35
it been well look yeah it's it's funny one because like I've had people go like
00:19:42
frequently text me or run into me they like you know put your hand out and you introduce yourself they're like oh
00:19:47
you're in Ruby tu's book you're like yeah like yep on that one that kicks the
00:19:52
water bottles yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm the one that's famously abrupt yeah yeah
00:19:57
yeah exactly what's the I I missed the kicking water bottles thing is that in
00:20:00
the book as well yeah so we took them to Australia and to be honest from a coaching point of view this is it was
00:20:07
actually my fault because I didn't do s I didn't do enough um contact within our
00:20:12
drills so that's a simp yeah that's simplifying it and when we got there we
00:20:18
got ran over by some tongen players like ran over like I was like [ __ ] I was like
00:20:25
why are we not playing to our plan like and it's just like because we done tackling the whole freaking trainings
00:20:30
that we had which was like three or four so we you know I ran them into the ground and but I didn't make them tackle
00:20:37
or didn't put a defensive process in so it's a really good learning point for
00:20:41
myself as a coach but far out I was kicking those bottles because we were [ __ ] losing
00:20:46
Tonga like can I can I just say we've been chatting for 20 minutes and I think um I
00:20:53
think you've probably got the record now for the most F bombs in a podcast Maybe
00:20:57
unle Tex who has Tourette syndrome is just ahead of you but I'm I'm here for
00:21:02
it I'm now that you're sort of in the corporate world oh yeah I'm surprised
00:21:06
you haven't been told to tone it down or uh yeah so I mean I love it you don't
00:21:11
want to change the essence of your personality well I don't swear in certain aspects so like there like
00:21:17
obviously I do a little bit of sky sky sport commentary and I haven't sworn once on that and it's kind of funny
00:21:22
because like I have a potty mouth and I know I do look apparently isn't that the
00:21:27
wittiest people with with a potty mouth I'll it yeah yeah right so so the the
00:21:33
other thing is is that I guess you know you you walk around and you go right better not swear
00:21:41
better not swear but like it's kind of my personality and you know I get people
00:21:46
texting me all the time they're like I can't believe you're on you're doing
00:21:49
commentary and you haven't sworn once I'm like yeah because I'm not allowed to
00:21:55
it's just you go to as someone that did radio for years you go into performance
00:21:58
mode and uh you know yeah you just you just know yeah you can't there is a filter there if you need it to yeah yeah
00:22:04
yeah yeah you know if you hey if you want me to turn the filter off I can do that for you so um born and raised in
00:22:10
Riverton where where's Riverton far south somewhere near Bluff yeah so it's
00:22:14
it's probably about 40 minutes out of inago right South yeah what was dolphin
00:22:19
sporting what else what what else is there in Riverton um it's called the sou the Rivier of the
00:22:27
South okay there's cheese rolls oh yeah it's actually one of the look if you're
00:22:34
ever down the South isand I'll tell you what it's beautiful down there the
00:22:38
beaches are good they're surfing down there diving down there Stewart island
00:22:42
is just like an hour away on boat so there's heaps to do in that sense and everyone loves a good hunt they love
00:22:49
hunting deer and pigs except me I cannot stand hunting yeah but everyone else I know hunts so so it's not great sales
00:22:58
patch for Riverton that's coming from someone from palas North because I I P
00:23:03
palah hole say what's good about pal be like oh it's like two hours away from the
00:23:08
mountain an hour and a half away from Wellington and it's like you're encouraging people to leave it well
00:23:13
these heaps like look here's the property Market down there you know obviously it's not talking about Orland
00:23:18
prices but hey you Orland has come down and pick up $300,000 houses not anymore there are 500 now but but you know you
00:23:26
guys flock there all you see aucklanders yeah so what so what are your Recollections about those those years
00:23:32
growing up the early years in in Riverton how many in your family by the way so there's four children four of us
00:23:37
where are you in the birth order uh second second last so second last and the two older brothers sisters two older
00:23:43
sisters and a younger brother right and and did they um you play sports with them is that is that where you got the
00:23:49
tough the tough streak from my father's Mor just said help um look so two older sisters who
00:23:58
were very competitive they both played underage international hockey so my sister um was named in the New Zealand M
00:24:07
and uh New Zealand MTI team when she was 17 and my older sister was in the under
00:24:12
15s under 18 New Zealand team and then I just came along um oh yeah I was always
00:24:19
a rat bag I was always that chicky shirt always that one always getting into trouble probably because I've got ADHD
00:24:25
and a little bit of Dyslexia going on as well but I was always the one that was just not doing what they were supposed
00:24:31
to be doing so I was always in trouble standard standard kid stuff or like proper trouble oh not that b no no no no
00:24:38
standard like you know go [ __ ] yourself yeah what to who like people in teach that's not overly standard teach
00:24:48
well is it it is it not that seems a little extreme the ADHD thing was it diagnosed or is that something you've
00:24:54
had diagnosed like as an adult yeah we're going through the process right now so I've had dyslexia right right
00:25:00
through um and when I was at Margaret they picked that up so but I never yeah never did the ADH but we're
00:25:09
going through the diagnos right now diagnosis right now so a lot of things around ADH has been behavioral like you
00:25:17
know you just you know no no one likes to hear no especially ADH know especially when you you've got an Abrupt
00:25:24
personality cuz I I I I'm pretty sure ADHD I'm a little bit older than you so
00:25:30
it was just not something that was diagnosed at the time but I I mean apparently the testing is quite
00:25:35
comprehensive you know you go through it at the moment but it's like I just wonder what difference it would make if
00:25:40
I had a diag if I had a label for it yeah well I always used to think yeah I always used to think I was ADHD you know
00:25:47
whatever but I also think I've got little sprinkles of everything I'm just
00:25:50
on the Spectrum yeah like and and I've kind of I think a lot of us are yeah I I
00:25:55
don't know any normal person okay that that's that's and and so I'm just on the Spectrum and
00:26:00
like the problem was with being on the Spectrum being your neurod Divergent um I actually spoke at at Targo POA on
00:26:08
superpowers of being dyslexic is that there's other things that come with it
00:26:13
like there's there's some behavioral things that come there's some things
00:26:16
that your nervous system is not regulated as what normal normal which I never think anyone's normal but it's
00:26:22
just a little bit off we're just a little bit off we're just a little bit
00:26:26
hinged a little bit and I'm my with that yeah absolutely it's it's part of who
00:26:30
you are but I suppose like telling teachers to go [ __ ] yourself maybe that's where that came from the ADH yeah
00:26:35
I didn't do I honestly did not do it in St Margaret but definitely did it when I
00:26:38
was um at UPA college but and I was I I remember B sitting outside uh the vice principal's office and you know they
00:26:47
like this is a small town we're talking about we're talking about like I don't
00:26:50
know 1400 people that live there around their area and so everyone knows everyone and so when you're there
00:26:56
they're like your M your parents know as soon as you get home like it's not fun
00:27:01
it's not a fun fun it's not fun when you know that your parent when you're
00:27:05
sitting there you've been sitting there since 10:00 and you know your parents
00:27:09
know like what was the um discipline like in your household was it like like smacking Yeah well yeah the I think my
00:27:17
father and his you got yeah he's from a military background as well um farming
00:27:23
background um butcher he was a butcher so yeah he was he he I would say heavy-handed but would I yeah that's an
00:27:32
interesting one yeah because it's um yeah I was from a smacking family and uh
00:27:36
it was never like an abusive household um but it was always we'd do something
00:27:41
naughty during the day and then mama would be like wait until your father gets home hours later like Dad get home
00:27:46
we put over the put over the beard and get the belt oh is that all you got oh yeah so I just so yeah as was always
00:27:54
done I'm guessing guess what I'm saying is like a it was a control environment
00:27:57
it was never Pleasant and you look back now and it was like it was um actually quite traumatic but it was always sort
00:28:03
of controlled I guess I I think like it wasn't to the extreme that I would be
00:28:09
say that OT needs to come in and take us out of the home but it would it would be
00:28:15
it would have been a bit more heavier than it should have been if that that that explains it um and I think that
00:28:23
from that I really did like you know if your parents if if your father's saying
00:28:28
to you you know just give someone a warning and then whack them as part of your your upbringing what do you think
00:28:35
you that's going to produce do you know what I mean so I definitely had a lot of
00:28:39
anger when I came out of um that household like a very much pined up anger lots of trauma but you know as you
00:28:47
get as you go through life and this is where sobriety I think does not help because you actually feel everything you
00:28:54
know you start to those feelings start opening up and now you're just like holy
00:28:59
crap overwhelmed with all of these emotions that you never had before because you've even hit you've hidden it
00:29:05
through anger or you've hidden it through alcohol and now all of a sudden you're this ball of
00:29:12
[ __ ] yeah and and then I guess there's um there's another layer of that with
00:29:17
you where you you didn't have that connection to your roots yeah or your culture yeah there's definitely that
00:29:23
there's Southland M I'm a Southland M but I'm not I [ __ ] up up at Bruno so so
00:29:29
where's that that is in gbon yeah Dad's dad's from Mahia so you're not even a
00:29:34
South alar so you've got to understand that context as well so you're not from
00:29:38
n Taho and so when you go into things you're like you're not Taho you don't
00:29:41
[ __ ] a upet here so you're not even you're not even welcome there so and the
00:29:46
interesting thing is you don't feel like you belong you don't belong anywhere
00:29:49
right so so being and and the interesting facts with with that natio there's like 990,000 members for natio
00:29:57
only 10,000 live in gbon everyone else is everywhere else so we're so disconnected from that anyway so that
00:30:04
that plays a huge part I think yeah and so then um kbur uni after you left Riverton and you were really good at
00:30:12
sport right RI teams for rugby sevens touch and League yeah just anything with an noal ball you were you were good at I
00:30:21
don't well I actually wasn't that good to be honest so what I was good what I
00:30:26
what I was kind of like up for anything cuz all my friends were back in that time I think that that landscape has
00:30:33
changed a little bit now through professionalism as well all your mates are playing so your mates play Touch so
00:30:39
you hang out with them and all of I gravitated towards all of the people that were Brown so all of my friends
00:30:46
were either Marty or Pacific except maybe one or two Pacquiao who could who could play ball right so we had this
00:30:53
group that just went oh we'll go play Touch oh now we'll go play rugby oh now
00:30:57
we'll go play rugby league and so it just went like this round and round and
00:31:01
round and at once I think I did that for 5 to six years and I got to a point where I was just so bomed out because I
00:31:07
there was no off season it was just like right we're playing touch now then we're
00:31:11
going to play sevens we're in Hong Kong playing sevens then we're coming back
00:31:14
and then then we're going into rugby and then we're doing rugby league then we're
00:31:16
doing Nationals and then just went like round and round and you'd probably maybe
00:31:20
have 3 weeks off and then you're back into it again so I was just like I can't
00:31:24
do this anymore I actually need a break need a break yeah yeah was it around that time playing in those teams when
00:31:29
you got to kib UNI that you sort of um you sort of realized that something was missing with um your links to your
00:31:36
heritage or did you sort of realize it beforehand no you you said most of your teammates were were Brown yeah I
00:31:42
gravitated towards them cuz they were Brown yeah but some of them I'm guessing
00:31:46
like a university environment you got get people from all around the country so some of them must have been able to
00:31:51
speak to Rao or not really no no no not many of my friends it's just the era
00:31:57
look I think that yeah there is there is statistics showing that there's a big
00:32:02
fat era in there that because of um obviously policies and governments and and things like that this the native
00:32:08
School act that that lasted for 100 years Banning terel and and things like that your dad's probably at that age
00:32:14
where he got like whacked over the knuckles if he tried to against yeah but he he could speak he can understand it
00:32:20
but he can't speak it yeah so he yeah so he's 84 now um so not not many of us
00:32:27
could speak Mari um and some of us were naho some of us you know no it wasn't no it wasn't because
00:32:37
of the connection there it was maybe it was in terms of the fact that we're all
00:32:41
brown and we're all thought we were funny so sorry so you know you get a you
00:32:48
get a bunch of tribe your community yeah exactly you get a bunch of brown people
00:32:51
together and they're making you're making fun of each other to start off
00:32:54
with but the jokes are just going left right and centered you know like we're
00:32:57
joking about everything so nothing's like really you know and you're doing
00:33:01
crazy stuff you know but that's the time where I was probably when I was when I
00:33:06
was doing that five to six years of just everything I was drinking really heavily
00:33:12
like I was I I was killing it I was winning I was winning at that so it's like that's that's a crazy time yeah
00:33:21
well no wonder you were burnt out it probably wasn't just the sport it was your whole just the whole lifestyle
00:33:26
burning the C at both ends yeah like you know I was still working I was you know
00:33:30
just well uni work um training you know sometimes you're in Hong Kong for a couple weeks and then
00:33:36
sometimes you were in Paris for a couple weeks you know you're talking about that
00:33:40
time um at canb Uni I've heard you say that at the time you were on the road to
00:33:44
jail yeah what does that mean is that just like an embellishment or no no no no no not at
00:33:50
all no I'd um so this is like I said that at this time I was uh pretty angry very very angry would be
00:34:00
the word and we used to get into fights all the time like honest honestly like because of the alcohol because who we
00:34:06
were hanging out with um you it could be 3:00 out coming out of a nightclub and just I don't know things
00:34:15
[Laughter] happen I wouldn't want to [ __ ] with you 3:00 outside what were you what was the
00:34:21
anger about just the the upbringing upbringing um obviously so learning difficulties as well I gu learning
00:34:28
difficulties yep um little bit of ADHD going on in there in terms of Behavioral stuff just regulation in my nervous
00:34:36
system all those sorts of things um lots of alcohol um I'm just angry you know I
00:34:42
just had this angry at the world just angry I was just really I had a chip on my shoulder um you know I was supposed
00:34:48
to go to the Olympics for hockey and I was just so frecking angry about stuff that I was self- sabotaging left right
00:34:54
and Center so I was never going to get there I'm all good with it now but but
00:34:57
I've I've I've made peace with it um and then I just I just felt as though that
00:35:02
life was really [ __ ] difficult um and I got throwing were you like a a victim victim mindset I think so I think so I
00:35:09
think I had a yeah I pretty much had very much just like it was me against the world sort of thing and I didn't
00:35:16
really have any sort of Care on whether I lived or died sort of scenarios like not that I would a reckless place to be
00:35:24
living it's a very Reckless place to be living in because you don't have any
00:35:27
care about anybody else you don't even care about yourself and so so yeah so I
00:35:32
I'll tell you what I got not many people know this but um I got into a situation where I had to get
00:35:40
out pretty quickly and if it if it if it hadn't gone the way that down I would
00:35:44
have been in jail that that's how that's that's how how bad it got you came to
00:35:48
elaborate or not not really it just it was it was um as I would put it it was misidentification
00:35:58
oh my God would be the word yeah so so basically what did we got into a fight with people um I might have started it
00:36:07
and I ended up they ended up finger pointing somebody else cuz i' jumped into a
00:36:15
taxi oh so some innocent party took the rap for you some innocent party got arrested sort of thing yeah and so they
00:36:22
got arrested and they couldn't identify the actual person who started it which
00:36:26
was me and so it kind of went away you know yeah [ __ ] yeah this that was many years
00:36:34
ago this isn't going to get you in trouble now no like well I'm not I didn't get arrested so
00:36:39
good but like you know so those sorts of things happen frequently like they they
00:36:43
were happening for at least probably 5 to six years you know and and you know one of my best friends um most pleasant
00:36:51
person on Earth we ended up in this fight I this what I who wants to see women fighting anyway like no except in
00:36:58
a boxing ring right or the U yeah yeah who wants to see like and but but but those days like you you're like hitting
00:37:06
somebody who was probably you know skinny white lady and and you end up hitting somebody and
00:37:13
you're you know you're you're bigger than them anyway so it's not a fair
00:37:18
fight it's it's not something that you want to be doing and who the hell wants
00:37:22
to see that sort of thing anyway we're in this this tough I guess scuffle and
00:37:28
my best friend's trying to stop it cuz Placid plid ass I don't know how we
00:37:32
ended up best friends cuz I'm like that and she's like that like you know and
00:37:36
she's saved me so many times over we played we played very much a lot of rugby rugby rugby league and and she
00:37:43
saved me so many times so we sit there and [ __ ] hands are going hard and then she gets a wallop like right on the
00:37:52
on the eye teacher go to school with this black eye and she's just like what I I can't
00:38:00
hang out with you anymore like we can't be friends yeah you are just like out
00:38:05
the freaking gate like you you uh I've got I've got a profession and and I'm
00:38:11
like yeah and what what you know no care in the world sort of thing like I didn't
00:38:14
really understand that I do now like selfish and self-centered at the time in a way selfish sound yeah and and it
00:38:21
wasn't a great teammate yeah like you know I got got kicked out of the the kenary touch team got kicked out of the
00:38:27
the rugby league team I got kicked out of Al multi7 got us to come back um I got kicked out of the New Zealand side
00:38:32
because I was really selfish and um obviously I'm not now but like you know when I look back in it and I was just
00:38:39
like God damn it you know I had all of those opportunities in the world and that's why when you go Google me you
00:38:46
only get it like a small piece of it and you get some some coaching stuff and get
00:38:50
this and this because I self I self sabotage right throughout that so so you you you you could have been exceptional
00:38:57
just being very good yeah well I wouldn't say I was very good I was pretty average I don't know about that I
00:39:02
don't know I mean you you um were in the kense league team that won the World Cup
00:39:05
in 2003 and you scored a try so yeah lucky it's not no it's not downplay your
00:39:11
achievements I think I fell over the line on that one that um but we Jesus so you've done a lot of work you've done a
00:39:17
f ton of work has that just sort of has that been have you had like counseling or professional help or have you just
00:39:22
sort of figured it out on your oh definitely definitely had professional help yeah but also like just I think
00:39:28
it's reflection on some of your actions you know and just really like you know
00:39:32
think you know you think about when you're going through it I feel as though
00:39:37
that I started off at the bottom and had all of these these traumatic things and
00:39:42
and things that happened to me but because I started so back I had to come so far and so it took me so long to
00:39:49
realize that the only person that's going to save you is you um the only person that is going to help you or get
00:39:55
you through this or get what you want out of this is you and so and cuz I was kind of waiting for someone to save me
00:40:02
and that's and personal relationships is the same thing oh I'm terrible to date
00:40:06
like I'm terrible I was going to wonder about that in the University um the university years so um yeah I had some
00:40:13
mates of mine that loved brawling they loved going out on the weekend and they look for fights at at parties and stuff
00:40:18
and I I was never into that but most of these guys um when they got into a relationship it was sort of the the
00:40:24
stabilizer that they needed did did you not have like a a partner that was like Hey M come on let's not no I I because
00:40:31
I'm so stubborn that I just kind of did I was just like you can say that but
00:40:35
that doesn't mean I'm going to do it like thank you thank you for your input I appreciate the suggestion
00:40:41
but so I've had to really like you know and and you know um I've I've really had
00:40:47
to dig deep around that the the the personal relationships and you know they've hurt you know some of those
00:40:52
relationship breakups they've really hurt and I've really had to grow from
00:40:56
those those yeah um are you are you into are you into guys or girls or both girls
00:41:00
girls yeah thanks for asking D is is that okay yeah I don't know is it yeah um so again that that that no no well I
00:41:08
just wonder if that was another thing the [ __ ] storm that you had going on like you weren't connected with your
00:41:13
culture yeah these these unresolved anger issues yeah drinking problem maybe maybe the drinking problem was caused
00:41:19
and and sexuality like how how long were you in denial for or keeping that um coming to terms with that yeah well
00:41:27
don't really talk about this much but we don't have to no no I I don't mind um um
00:41:34
so I'm a bit of a funny one so I was how do I put this I was out but I wasn't
00:41:40
would be the word so like my friends knew like rugby players you know soccer players cricket players we all hang out
00:41:47
so party right but like I never I never really discussed it or anything like that or
00:41:56
never really sort of said hey I'm over here I'm a lesbian you know come see me
00:42:00
sort of thing I never had those discussion I never even had a discussion with my father to this day I've never
00:42:06
said to him hey Dad guess what this is what I am I had a discussion when I I came out to my mother when I was about
00:42:14
19 and wasn't great she wasn't great no it wasn't that she wasn't great she was
00:42:20
just like I love you but it's I'm I'm sure this is just a face what were they religious or no
00:42:29
no absolutely not religious you can understand if it's what they believe in the Bible or whatever yeah so so not
00:42:37
religious at all and I just think it was that time right you know and I don't
00:42:41
look I come from the smallest town on Earth yeah come on you had so much going against you like um yeah that's what I
00:42:47
mean by starting at the bottom moldy uh you gay yeah [ __ ] yeah [ __ ] alcoholic
00:42:54
ADHD dyslexia anyone want to carry on with the list you know so so so to even go to university I was the
00:43:03
first person in my family to get a degree so that that's you've got the context of that when I talk to my other
00:43:10
friends who are not Marty they're like oh yeah we talked about education right
00:43:15
through our lives I was like my parents didn't even know they like so what are
00:43:18
you going to do next year I'm like I don't know like stay home with you they're like absolutely not my mother
00:43:24
was just like you know what you've got two options here you either go to university or I'm sending you to the
00:43:29
Army I was like is this a joke and she's like no it's not a joke she drove me to
00:43:34
denan to sit there to do the the Army test and I sat down did the Army test and I came back in and she goes right
00:43:41
what do you think I said take me to [ __ ] Christ St I am not going under the I will not
00:43:47
survive oh I don't know I I feel like in that environment you would have thrived
00:43:51
maybe maybe not at that time though no I don't think so I think I would have got
00:43:54
what do they call that military dispar or I would have kicked out I would have got kicked out I definitely
00:44:01
would have got Ked out and and who is who's Peter Joseph oh he's amazing he's
00:44:05
yeah so so he took you overseas on your first trip right first time out of the country to Hong Kong first time out of
00:44:09
the country i' never been out of the country before he took a bunch of M women who from real um small areas so
00:44:18
some of them are from Bay up in fatano B had plenty and all around that area um some orlanders I was the only South
00:44:25
Island at the time and then Tessa came on board he took a bunch of moldy women overseas to Hong Kong and have you been
00:44:34
to Hong Kong yeah yeah I have it's crazy place it's not Riverton it's not riveron
00:44:40
is it and and like and know there's the cultural aspects to it and there's
00:44:45
there's people freaking everywhere the smells are out the gate it's just busy
00:44:49
right and he took us over there and I was just like man we were like in la la land I didn't know what the hell was
00:44:55
going on to be hon honest that's crazy amazing and is is that where you met Jonah there's a photo I saw in line of
00:45:01
you with Jonah yeah yeah and if you look at that photo um there's a few famous
00:45:05
people and there's honey hamy in that there's Amy um Amy what's her last name she went and
00:45:11
played she went and played for Australia and and got a Olympic medal for them like a gold medal from there um yeah
00:45:19
there's a few people in that that photo they're just awesome people and Jonah
00:45:24
yes so did you have an encounter with joner or was it just a photo up we had a photo up and had a we talk to him and
00:45:29
stuff like that but nothing really to be honest but you didn't pick a fight with
00:45:32
him absolutely not we do you know we did get on a fight in Hong Kong so there you
00:45:36
go oh my God so that's the sort of place you can get incarcerated for years well
00:45:42
the yeah so we had a pqu Mii we called her um so she was definitely not Mii but man she was a good rugby player
00:45:50
Stephanie Mortimer she's broom hall now um she won the try of the year in n 19 991 or 2,000 or something like that
00:45:59
she ran through me ran past mega and stuff like that anyway we were out and this guy was actually slapping around a
00:46:07
woman in the middle of the street and Hong Kong's crazy cuz you know and then
00:46:12
we went to stop it and he just started picking up cheers and started throwing and and I was like whoa and then it I
00:46:19
went that way and Steph just went and it just clocked her straight in the head and split her split her eye open so we
00:46:25
had to put her in the um the ambulance and she went to the the ambulance and hospital and they're like oh we need to
00:46:31
stitch you up but you can't take you've been drinking you can't have any
00:46:35
anesthetic so she got stitched up with no anesthetic that's badass that's B she
00:46:40
bad like you know so there's some crazy like there you know it women's rug is so
00:46:45
different from what it used to be like um in terms of professionalism oh 100% like I'm so glad it's not like it needed
00:46:53
to change it absolutely did like you cannot do the stuff the stuff that we did compared to what you can't do that
00:46:59
now you know you just look and Richard played for Australia and so did a m Marsh so if you even know who Enard
00:47:04
Richards is she's bit of a legend and stuff like that in rugby terms she was
00:47:09
playing for Australia at that Hong Kong sevens tournament so like like you could
00:47:13
play for anybody yeah so um I was in 2003 I mentioned this before that you were playing league
00:47:20
for the Ki you were in the Kiwi fence for like three years right yeah three to four years yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so
00:47:26
you say you're pretty average but those stats would would disagree I'd say
00:47:30
you're pretty good including winning the uh the World Cup in 2003 so that was 20
00:47:34
years ago you were still drinking heavily then y um but you must have there must have been like a certain
00:47:40
level of discipline or professionalism going on I had the ab some sort of like control or yeah I had the ability
00:47:50
to get up and get going if that makes sense so so in that time in those five to six years that I was playing I guess
00:47:58
playing probably at the peak that I that I ever got to I trained a lot and I guess I had I had really good
00:48:07
people around me like Tessa tahu who who is an a crazy trainer she actually won um just recently she's a little bit
00:48:15
older than I am um just she got sixed at the world CrossFit Champs Masters wow yeah that so just think of in in those
00:48:23
terms I was training with her and so she'd be just like hurry up keep up could ever keep up with her
00:48:33
like I couldn't even a lift as much as she could like you know I was just you
00:48:37
know I was poor I'm short and so like and she's just a ball of muscles and so
00:48:42
I was just like oh I might as well just train with you so I trained a lot with her and and I had the ability to just
00:48:48
get up but I also had the ability to party and then get up and go again so I I I think at one stage for Hong Kong and
00:48:55
these AR great stories these are not good stories for anyone at home who ever wants to to do any sport this is not
00:49:01
good stories by the way I I think that that great stories just um because of where you are at now in life and the
00:49:07
fact that you've you've been through this I don't know a dark period I guess
00:49:11
and and you are through the other side I think it's kind of inspirational so we good War Stories
00:49:17
yeah you know I you know I was the captain of the the canbury 7 side that won um very long time ago the you know
00:49:24
kind of remember when we won but before that I'd been out drinking in the nightclub and someone had to come
00:49:30
and get me out of the nightclub to catch the flight oh my God those things happened and then it
00:49:36
happened again when I was going to Hong Kong like someone again had to come and get me help me in my car get going I
00:49:44
slept on the flight and then we got off the flight and we started training so I had no I had like freaking like maybe I
00:49:51
don't know 30 minutes sleep how old were we at the time like early 20s no I was like 25 20 well years
00:49:58
2 sish get to that that demograph where you don't bounce back and turn a hang over come on grow up yeah [ __ ]
00:50:08
cop on but I didn't though I didn't cop on till like man I spent like six years
00:50:12
in Ireland so I I didn't cop on through there like they are they enhan they were
00:50:17
like we we drank through the week and you found you you like I found my people I think I'm Irish I probably am a little
00:50:24
bit Irish but you know like we were just like man they they can drink those Irish
00:50:29
like those pubs are full and fight as well they drinking and fighting apparently yeah I didn't fight when I
00:50:33
was there so the fighting actually stopped around around about that age anyway so yeah yeah CU so you started
00:50:40
coaching in 2012 you coached here Australia Japan Ireland USA um Scotland Italy Estonia yeah all over the place so
00:50:50
so during this entire coaching period you were still like a little bit chaotic very very chaotic yeah very chaotic I
00:50:57
was also I think you must have had under under WPS to some degree like we we quite quite stealthy with it no no no no
00:51:06
no how you never sort of called out or no one pulled you up on it um I think because I don't look
00:51:14
drunk you just handle your p no I don't know I just don't I don't I don't my my
00:51:19
moods don't change sort of thing I'm just so you're not getting extra
00:51:22
aggressive or violent but the time the end no but you know get to miss to some point it might happen but I just didn't
00:51:29
it didn't look I didn't look drunk I looked the same from the start to finish
00:51:33
unless I got really wasted and then someone's taking me like helping helping
00:51:37
me into a taxi but like you know so I didn't you know I wasn't a Missy drunk I
00:51:42
wasn't like I wasn't Wast like I didn't look wasted but I was like I was like
00:51:48
totally wasted like you know what I'm saying like I was just like like people
00:51:52
were like no you don't even look drunk and I'm like I am so wasted right now
00:51:55
and and the funny thing about it is that I'd have one one drink and I could feel
00:52:01
alcohol really quickly so I'd get drunk really quickly and then just kind of
00:52:05
monotoned it through I don't know I don't know what to say so you see at the beginning yeah I'm
00:52:12
just doubling back here so you only sort of gave up drinking at the start of this
00:52:14
year complely so for the last couple of years few years you've just been drinking moderately like a normal
00:52:21
moderately yeah Norm I started what happened I started getting sick like I spewing every time like I'd have a
00:52:27
couple drinks and then I'd be in the toilet spewing and so I was like man this is there's something wrong here
00:52:32
like and then I just was like Fe and and like you said the bounce back you know the hangovers how old are you now 45
00:52:41
yeah it doesn't get easier no it doesn't and so like the bounce backs I was Moody
00:52:46
and you know just really just and my my body didn't feel right I didn't my brain
00:52:51
didn't feel right and I was just like I I can't actually do this anymore I can't
00:52:54
actually function I can actually not function whereas before I'd be just getting up and go go go go go yeah and
00:53:02
if you got like um if you got like some sort of like underlying like mental health issues or
00:53:08
unresolved stuff yeah um you you can numb that pain with alcohol but then the next day it's even worse it's even the
00:53:14
depress yeah they they what what do they say it's 20 20 minutes of dopamine and
00:53:18
the rest of it how yeah the depression just exasperates the problems depress you a conflicted
00:53:25
relationship with alcohol yeah I I know I drink more than what I should um and I'm I'm the same as you like friends
00:53:33
princi will said to me I don't think I've ever seen you drunk um you know but
00:53:37
I I can not back a couple of bottles of wine and oh jeez I'm surprised there isn't a bottle
00:53:45
of wine right here now Tom oh no I've been I've been alcohol shamed by m yeah no it's interesting I know it's
00:53:54
not good for me I know need to get a you know get get a grasp on it but it's um
00:53:58
yeah I I'd even ask myself potentially if I'm an alcoholic but Society has told us that
00:54:06
an alcoholic is someone that's sleeping in their car or sleeping rough or you
00:54:10
know drinking um I don't know vodka out of a pump bottle or drinking in the morning and that's not me spping it all
00:54:17
day and you know having your hiding your bottles in the thing 100% yeah yeah yeah
00:54:22
so that's interesting so yeah so when did did you did you just reached the conclusion on your own that you needed
00:54:26
some help I reached the conclusion that it wasn't a good drug yeah and um and it
00:54:33
wasn't helping my relationships with anybody and so and at at the time I guess my partner was drinking and that
00:54:43
was triggering the [ __ ] out of me because my father drank and so and then my grandfather drank and so you know so
00:54:50
I just got to the point where I actually actually I just don't I want to drink
00:54:56
and um but the but no one tells you when you stop drinking what what that after effect every you know you you have to
00:55:03
pay for every little sin afterwards like you know you're really what do you mean
00:55:08
it's like for me I don't know what it's like for anyone else but like your feelings
00:55:14
are Amplified because you've numbed them for so long or you've disassociated from
00:55:19
them or whatever however you dealt with it now your feelings are definitely and you and you figure out oh my God I've
00:55:25
got feelings so when you said pay for every sin do you mean like current guilt and shame about current stuff or old
00:55:32
stuff old stuff I wouldn't give a rat about yeah yeah I don't care about old
00:55:35
stuff it is what it is you know but yeah it's it's it's that stuff where like now
00:55:40
you you've done something and you're like probably said something you should
00:55:43
haven't said which happens um and then forever you're like oh I should have't
00:55:49
said that and do you know and you're kind of like I think that's normal I
00:55:53
think yeah but like before before before when you were drinking not a rat's ass
00:55:59
no FKS given I suppose now that you're not drinking at least when you wake up
00:56:04
in the morning you're not going to be like [ __ ] what did I say last night what
00:56:07
did I do I never I didn't care no cuz I was like I was drunk like do you know
00:56:12
what I mean I had I I had that back stop where I could I could explain my way out
00:56:16
of it oh sorry about that it was a little bit had too many of the whiskies and I apologize but now Blame It On the
00:56:23
Alcohol I can Blame It On the Alcohol but now I've just sorry that's just my
00:56:25
personality I'm sorry I'm an ass you read Ruby's book I'm famously
00:56:31
imprt yeah yeah I'm I'm I uh before we get into this conversation I just want
00:56:36
to apologize I'm going to be a total [ __ ] soon wow so and was there like a
00:56:41
rock bottom like what was the Catalyst that made you get some like counseling or therapy
00:56:46
um I think the first time I went to counseling um I was in Canada coaching and probably my one of my
00:56:56
relationship fails and um man we drank heaps we were drinking heaps and I was just sitting there one night and I was
00:57:03
just like oh [ __ ] I actually I'm not okay I'm not okay in terms of like I'm
00:57:09
actually drinking more than what I used to and I'm drinking a lot like lot a lot
00:57:13
a lot and um you know I'm racing over police cars and running over them and doing oh my God how old were you been
00:57:23
could have been 35 my God [Laughter] like you're one of my mates you know I told you about my mates that like
00:57:32
fighting one of them was famous for doing that would walk from Pub Pub to Pub or Club to club and he'd go run run
00:57:38
over people's cars or whatever did he did he run over a police car no not a police car in Canada but also it's kind
00:57:44
of crack up when you're 1920 21 not at in your 30s right like you know I play I
00:57:51
played like top level rugby right towards 37 and then I just slowly like you know had a stopped playing in
00:57:58
Ireland then went to Canada for weever and I played one game in in there this is this is not a good story
00:58:06
but um no these stories are great stories this is not a good story but like anyway we were short and I said oh
00:58:12
can you jump on I said yeah sure whatever sat there passed the ball a couple of times and then because I was
00:58:19
really not interested in playing and I was hung over so then so so and then um I don't know what
00:58:28
happened we're in there we're you know we're we're doing okay um it was hot as
00:58:33
hell cuz it it's in the Canadian um we were down in Edmonton it's a summer so
00:58:38
it's really hot I'm sweating away I'm like dying and I just kep on getting hit
00:58:44
by this this this player and I was just like look if you do that one more time I'm actually going to I'm going to knock
00:58:51
you out and she's just like cuz she must have done it three or four times and I I
00:58:56
hate being hit when I I didn't even know the ball oh okay so so she was playing
00:59:00
dirty yeah and then she just goes and then she did it again I got up and I walked towards her and she just put her
00:59:07
arm back and I just went gonk she just knocked her out like so and did War I did warn her and then um so anyone
00:59:16
listen to this you do you're not allow you're actually not allowed to do that
00:59:19
um so I got recounted um and this is the horrible thing this is this is why I didn't
00:59:25
really want to talk about it after the game she came up to me and I said look I'm really sorry that I hit you I just I
00:59:31
I don't know I thought you were going to hit me then you know and she goes do you
00:59:35
realize I'm only 18 oh my God oh my [ __ ] God yeah so how was that not the moment where you
00:59:46
made wholesale changes to your life that was the start of it okay slow and I was a slow like I am so
00:59:56
freaking sorry like you know and and like far out you can blame whatever you want at it you can blame all these
01:00:03
things all the trauma all but doing that to somebody who doesn't deserve that
01:00:07
even if she put her hand like even it doesn't not matter like you know what I
01:00:10
mean so I went to the guy um I went to the guy uh who owned basically the club and
01:00:23
I said to him I need help I'm [ __ ] drowning in my own [ __ ] basically I'm I
01:00:29
don't know if I'm going to survive this like I'm I'm too old to be doing this um
01:00:34
I'm not okay like I'm really not okay I I think I I need help was that hard for
01:00:39
you to say that or oh absolutely like I you know I I needed help years ago like but it was the first time IID actually
01:00:47
like I need I needed that we my 20s like you know to be to be fair and I was now
01:00:53
like what 35 like it's it's it's seems alarming in a way that it took you to say that you
01:00:59
think someone else would have said something over the I suppose maybe you a ready for it it's amazing there wasn't
01:01:05
some sort of an intervention by teammates or I got away with so much [ __ ] it's not funny like I got away with
01:01:10
it and that's you know you know and I got away with it like it's not like no one and they might have said
01:01:20
something like off cuff and stuff like that joking around and but no one actually was just like M what the hell
01:01:25
are you doing like you need to get your [ __ ] together you need to get your [ __ ]
01:01:28
together like you know you know and and like I said I'd been kicked off so many
01:01:31
teams but brought back because at some point in time they kicked me off and then I just work harder so I had to get
01:01:39
back on the team and I just stand on the sideline sort of thing going yeah I can
01:01:43
make this team I'll get back on sort of thing I had that confidence that I could
01:01:46
do it and I don't know where it came from but so he got me the help um and he
01:01:52
and he paid for it like what was that like a a therapist got me a psychologist and we started journaling and and gave
01:02:00
me some techniques around some things and you know that under that 18year old even though I'd done that I I had um
01:02:07
been in a boxing ring like i' I'd done Fight For Life in Ireland so I'd been in
01:02:14
so I don't know if I'm telling the story very well but to do that to somebody is
01:02:18
out the freaking gate that's it's just not okay and so it was yeah and so I I saw her for the rest of
01:02:28
my time in Canada and then when I came back to like then um you how how often weekly every couple of weeks yeah every
01:02:35
second day every second day cuz I was at that point where I needed to I need I needed I needed more than usual would be
01:02:42
the word and that that's quite confronting when you start digging around and you know speaking it's like
01:02:47
pulling it a thread of cotton on a on a t-shirt unre it what what did you find what was the main like root of your your
01:02:54
problem s was it the sexuality thing the the mold being moldy no sexuality thing
01:02:59
i' I'd come to grips with that that was all good um um myty I knew who I was so that was
01:03:06
fine and I I didn't need to reconnect with my people that was something it was
01:03:13
it was round about rejection and abandonment um so I felt really abandoned and I was felt really unloved
01:03:20
um and I felt like nobody would would love me or nobody would want me and so so those and even now today I'm I'm
01:03:28
working through those sorts of things um but it was who who who who from like from your family
01:03:35
or yeah so where did the abandonment issue stem from because I I was um a guardian of a nephew for a while there
01:03:41
like family adoption so um uh my wife's nephew he came to live with us from like
01:03:46
the age of four years and 11 months and um we had to have a lot of therapy on on
01:03:50
his behalf cuz he's young and you learned so much you learned about the 80% of the brain development's done in
01:03:56
the first Thousand Days yeah um it also he had like attachment disorder and abandonment issues and because of that
01:04:01
the therapist explain to us it's like whenever he starts getting close to someone he would push them away so he'd
01:04:07
try and make our lives difficult and push us away so that when we eventually give up on him he can be like that's it
01:04:13
I was right another person ditches me yeah where where was your abandonment is she's from so and you know everyone has
01:04:21
a traumatic story and whether it's it's extreme or it's it's it's it's their
01:04:26
story but um also I hate being alone like I'm I do not like it which I've had
01:04:32
to work really hard I'm a lot better now I don't I don't mind it now my own
01:04:35
company's great I think I'm funny so so um you are fny by the way thanks um I guess from my father who I
01:04:46
thought that didn't really like even now I I have a difficult relationship with
01:04:50
him we're a lot better we are a lot better you think that's the that's just his age and the way he was
01:04:56
bought or the military thing he just wasn't very good at showing affection or
01:05:01
yeah showing like you know to get him to say I love you you're like love you dead
01:05:06
you're just like all right yeah but he's like a New Zealand man born in the born
01:05:10
in the 1940s yeah he's like 83 years old give him a chance you know um but like
01:05:18
he he's a very manly man um M so the and he was brought up in violence as well probably
01:05:27
more than what I was so um and he was very sort of matter of fact you either do this or this is going to happen sort
01:05:36
of thing and so very much I didn't I just didn't feel as though that he loved
01:05:40
me and um I and to this day I struggle with it and to this day I struggle with it we like I came back after um after
01:05:48
Ireland I moved back home and I lived with him for a bit just to get myself but I had a house in in viago
01:05:54
and I was moving out and getting my stuff back into the house and getting myself sorted sort of thing and
01:06:01
he I don't know if I should say this but something had happened it was just before Co and something had happened to
01:06:07
him and he just lost his [ __ ] and he was just like you're [ __ ] dumb you're
01:06:13
useless as tits on a bowl this is this this is this kind of stuff that we did this is your dad this is my dad was like
01:06:18
80 years old at this time or late 70s yeah yeah and your uselessness tits on a ball this is what we heard when growing
01:06:24
up and um I turned around and walked towards him and I was like I I was like there's
01:06:32
only one and he called me stupid as well which I'm not there's only one stupid
01:06:37
[ __ ] in standing in front of me who can't even write a letter to something so don't you dare call me
01:06:43
stupid when I've got a degree and I'm just about to go off and do Masters so
01:06:47
don't you dare absolutely but there was some ifw thrown in the F so and I was walking why did you start
01:06:54
self-editing now yeah well I was like [ __ ] you oh man that's a heartbreaking story
01:07:00
and I walked towards him like I was going to we were going to go Tong to Tong and I got halfway over the road and
01:07:07
I had this realization oh my God and I was shaking and I was like I'm going to hit the one
01:07:16
person that I want love from and I stopped myself and I was just like you need to leave
01:07:24
you need to get your stuff you need to go um and I will try and reconnect another time but you need to [ __ ]
01:07:33
off and he took off um I went out there a week later and he's just like get out of my house I
01:07:39
don't want anything to do with you um and I said Dad if you kick me out I will
01:07:45
not come back I will I will not reconnect with you I'm I'm not [ __ ] around with you and so it took us we
01:07:53
while to to sort that out and we've slowly but surely I've put some boundaries in how he speaks to me cuz he
01:07:58
used to just like you know just used talk to me like a piece of shirt like yeah which is not cool but you think oh
01:08:06
I'm feeling sad about this story you get emotional when you tell it or are you sort of like a bit numb to
01:08:13
it it's a heartbreaking story aw it's yeah you see a lot lot of guys like um I
01:08:18
think of like yeah my my dad's a similar AG he since late 70s and my uncles and
01:08:22
stuff and they were all pretty staunch and but they generally sort of soften as they get older um but it seems like if
01:08:28
your dad's doing that at 7980 it's like it's been nicer to change or growth well
01:08:33
they ha but the yeah so he's not as hard as he used to be and he's not as
01:08:37
explosive as he used to be but something must have happened that day to really stress him stress him to out right and
01:08:44
you know if I really stood back and looked at it he's bloody 80 years old like he
01:08:51
probably couldn't like write it he doesn't understand how you know use his
01:08:54
ATM card or his cell phone or something you know so it's a compassionate way of
01:08:59
looking at it it's yeah so you know um so with me and him now there's definitely
01:09:06
boundaries um and it gets overwhelmed quite easily and I put the boundary in there if you talk to me like that I'll
01:09:12
leave I'm I'm not putting up with us and so now we have a better relationship
01:09:17
than we've ever had um which is something that I've always wanted with him was is a relationship with him cuz I
01:09:22
never had I had a relationship with my mother but not him um and so I just I'm
01:09:31
I I guess I'm conscious that he's 83 yeah his time here is limited yeah so
01:09:37
let's just get the best out of this the best out of the situation you're not
01:09:40
going to change him now to absolutely not but also like you look at um yeah when things happen like um the the
01:09:49
incident in Canada where you said to that girl if you do that one more time I'm going to knock you out you have
01:09:53
moments of realization where you're like oh my God I am my father yes yeah so
01:09:59
this and that's half the problem I I hated him like I I detested him I didn't
01:10:04
speak to him for two years because he called me fat in front of people and I was not fat I wasn't I was an
01:10:09
athlete he shamed me out in front of people call me stupid but don't call me
01:10:13
overweight yeah well you can call me fat now but like back then I was an actual athlete I like I was like all of 70
01:10:21
kilos and like had shoulders like and hamstrings and he's calling me fat in front of somebody I was like oh
01:10:29
dude and so so we just basically just didn't talk to each other like we we were like if he was a high dad you know
01:10:35
and we just never did and and I just wanted him to love me I just wanted him to show and I wanted him to say he was
01:10:42
proud of me you know I wanted to say hey the stuff you I always was yearning for
01:10:47
that you know and I was chasing it that validation that validation has he seen it has he seen his proud of you I bet he
01:10:53
has maybe part of them's jealous as well because it's like you are the Apple
01:10:57
doesn't fall far from the trend you've done a lot of work to get where you are
01:10:59
and he's never had the I don't know the courage or the will or whatever to do
01:11:03
that work that probably the opportunity cuz he had kids quite young okay yeah yeah um and he had to work like he
01:11:09
didn't he went from he left home at 14 and had to work you know so and then had
01:11:14
kids so yeah that's not a not a therapy generation and even if it was it's like
01:11:19
300 bucks for a session okay no need shoes yeah yeah we need you we you he's
01:11:24
a freezing worker so they were ating a lot of money so yeah so I think for what I've been told by people when they see
01:11:31
him um but he talks about me in in a good light and he even calls me by my name midy otherwise he'll call me Mary
01:11:41
and which I cannot stand being called the the P version of Mary yeah so so like basically you go oh this is my
01:11:47
daughter Miry come around M oh my daughter Mir you're just right oh she's so good and she does this and
01:11:56
you're just like where did you come from yeah well I'm sure yeah he is proud of
01:12:01
you maybe he just finds it hard to sort of articulate but what what about you are you proud of yourself that's the
01:12:06
most important thing I think yeah I'm definitely I I think like I look back and um I've done like I've done some
01:12:13
really crazy stuff some really cool stuff like I coached the Estonian men's team for Christ's sake you know sorry um
01:12:19
and they were awesome I was I've done some really funny stuff like coaching at
01:12:25
Japan was one of my highlights um we won that tournament coaching and and in the
01:12:31
states where I had an Olympic Development Group that I really loved they were really cool people um coaching
01:12:37
in Italy where they're like you know English was zero and I'm coaching full
01:12:42
sessions in Italian and I can't speak Italian so I still can't speak Italian
01:12:47
same Japan how does how does that work you're coaching these foreign countries
01:12:50
like Estonia or Italy like how do you get around the language barrier so there was like a trans semi translator so she
01:12:56
would like seei so like it's a long training It's a Long training yes you
01:13:01
might want you might have a plan decision for an hour and a half it turns in to be two hours because you're like
01:13:05
drawing where everything needs to be so good whiteboard good understanding you know a little bit of a demonstration
01:13:12
let's get to it and you're like no you didn't understand that so you know Japan
01:13:18
I really love Japan I had a great time um Ireland I was there for six years the the team that I coached that I set up
01:13:25
over there was one of the best teams in the world now a lot of them are playing in the Irish Squad um they're playing in
01:13:31
the sevens and they you know text me every now and then and I just love it like it's cool like they're they're
01:13:36
awesome people aw awesome Bunches of people that I worked with so yeah and so what languages can you speak you must be
01:13:42
able to speak a little bit none like that's nothing nothing you speak fluent today no no terrible but
01:13:55
how how connected are you with your culture now like have you done some work there or yeah so so I'm doing uh my
01:14:02
masters in um treaty Partnerships and alignment and doing building a rubic um and basically you know doing some
01:14:11
research around how to partner with moldi so that's been really amazing so I've learned L doing that at the moment
01:14:16
yeah I'm doing that with egg research so so I work for egg research now your your
01:14:21
dad's very wrong there's nothing St about you oh I'm not stupid no no a
01:14:25
little bit dyslexic believe me texting is not my thing do not text me ring me no I I think that makes it even more um
01:14:33
inspiring because it's like say say most people that don't have dyslexia say
01:14:37
they're starting on a a zero if you've got dyslexia it's like you're starting
01:14:40
on a negative two you or negative whatever you got to work that much harder yeah but you can like yeah yeah
01:14:47
like just look you you got to play to your your your your strings and and texting and writing is
01:14:55
not my string so so I'm pretty lucky that because I've identified that I've
01:14:59
got dyslexia um part of The Learning Journey I guess I get a reader writer so I will gather the
01:15:07
information um get as much together as I can and then me and the r will sit down
01:15:11
and then we'll basically compose it all together and then you get an academic
01:15:15
person to help you and so so I have a lot of help but man does it take a lot longer than a normal person holy crap
01:15:22
ISO yeah and and are you still high performance manager at rugby South no no no no stopped there girl you need to
01:15:29
update your LinkedIn page um but I mean it's so that is a job that you've had so you've got these um
01:15:36
you know you've had this amazing varied career including some sort of like office jobs I guess like that yeah
01:15:43
office jobs o yeah um so now you're a commentator for sky sport and moldy TV
01:15:49
yeah so I do do FBC when we've got uh when they give you the work I guess because you're you're a contractor and
01:15:56
then for forart we do like super rates which is all over the place so that's
01:16:03
school boy rugby yeah cool and and your mental health how's that now has it have
01:16:08
you noticed like a significant Improvement since you no I I think it's got worse like I think I feel everything
01:16:16
and like and I'm just like I feel absolutely everything now like you know you know um and so I've had to work
01:16:23
really hard and and pull all of those tools out to go it's just you know you're just you're just sober it's
01:16:31
pretty much what I put it down to you just so now so it's like this is what the this is what the normal world looks
01:16:38
like and for me like I found like I guess for me I I love drinking cuz it was fun like I had
01:16:46
great time the dopamine hits were amazing the fogginess not so much right that coming down and so now on just like
01:16:53
I feel as though that my life is like really sort of what I would call boring but after the after the um chaos
01:17:01
the chaos that you've had is is is is the boredom or the boring kind of nice
01:17:07
the peacefulness is is is different um like I'm I'm at peace with a lot of
01:17:13
things um er but I do sometimes I'm just like o like you know I I'm what can I do
01:17:23
that's kind of a bit fun and and things like that bit Edy you know I by the way
01:17:28
can I just say how refreshing it is and how much I love the way you speak about that because you get a lot of um your
01:17:33
reformed Drinkers and they'll be like oh you sleep so much better my skin improved my life's so much better blah
01:17:38
blah blah it's nice hearing you say no I missed this you know I do I do I miss
01:17:43
the you know I I we went when we were at over in the states for four weeks coaching um you know everyone goes out
01:17:50
drinking I was like oh I'm not going to go out cuz I'm boring but I went out you
01:17:55
know went out and had a good time and you know stuck on the soda Waters and things like that and I was just like oh
01:18:00
yeah this is all right but in my head I was like going [ __ ] this is boring like
01:18:04
this is I am so boring right now there's people jumping up on the the tables they
01:18:09
look like they're having fun I'm standing here watching the people jumping up on the tables and I'm
01:18:14
thinking man that looks fun yeah but the the the M that I've sat down with for
01:18:19
the last what 80 minutes um that's a fun [ __ ] person is it yeah I I could see
01:18:26
I could imagine you do you just not have the desire to jump on tables like when you cuz I could imagine you jumping on a
01:18:31
table I kind of make no no no no no no no not sober well so what's the rest of your
01:18:40
life um going to look like what's what's next what's coming up are you much of a
01:18:43
planner or goal sitter or you just see what comes Comes Your Way um I haven't really I've sort of been a
01:18:50
bit funny with the goal setting normally I'm like I'm going to do this so when I
01:18:54
was coaching I was like I'm going to go to America I'm going to go to Japan and
01:18:58
same with playing I'm going to play for the kiwis do you know what I mean I was
01:19:02
and I F found that once I stopped really playing high performance I was like who
01:19:06
Am I who who am I I've done all the sport on my life I can't run anymore
01:19:10
because I got plates all through my ankles like you know I'm just like so who am I now who is midy Baker like like
01:19:17
am I a coach am I somebody who works for egg research am I a friend I a family member what the hell am I like and it
01:19:26
it's taken me along probably the last couple years to go actually I am someone
01:19:31
that's going to do I'm going to do this because I really enjoy it I'm passionate
01:19:35
about rugby do I want to coach forever probably not do I want to be a part of rugby yeah but I don't want to be kind
01:19:42
of I don't really want to spend 24/7 in rugby um do I want my family connection
01:19:50
absolutely of course I do um so you know but that's nephews nieces all those
01:19:54
sorts of things are really important to me now um but my my friends are really important my friends group are really
01:20:00
important as well and so I took a bit of time out from uh probably January to now
01:20:06
where I just kind of isolated myself a little bit to actually go Roo what does Mitty Baker want and Mitty Baker wants
01:20:14
security when she's retired I still want to have a little bit of fun so I want to
01:20:18
hang out with my friends I want those that social connections um and I want my family
01:20:23
around me as much as possible as as that can happen so so that's what's more
01:20:28
important to me now um not not going to America and and coaching in pn7 I had a great time but I
01:20:37
didn't really like it again I kind of was like a bit flat like I was I loved
01:20:44
it it was fun I didn't love it sorry I did love it but it was flat like you know it wasn't this like Yay like it was
01:20:52
just weird I feel like I'm a zombie and so that's just nothing was sort of
01:20:57
bringing you like The Joy or the happiness you thought it would maybe joy joy is the word and so I've had to this
01:21:03
year I've had to really think about you know I want that lifetime partner I want
01:21:07
that person that's going to be that special person but I'm also really [ __ ] scared of it are you in a
01:21:12
relationship at the moment no no so and well you got to move out of bluff for starters yeah well there you go I'm
01:21:19
moving to Christ Church in two weeks so that's the first thing you know on grinder and Bluff what are you going
01:21:25
to find you think I was gum grinder I don't know yeah so like you know um and just
01:21:34
sort of like and I I really did head away I I I basically took some time I needed that time it did take me longer
01:21:41
than I expected um and you know I had a massive relationship breakup in January and and how long how long were you in a
01:21:49
relationship for three years so not not not relatively long you know like I no it is though it's long it's it's it's
01:21:55
enough for it's it's enough for me believe me so and and so I just sort of said no
01:22:01
I need to I need to actually sit down and actually be alone be okay with being alone um and then you know did I dating
01:22:11
other I dated another person after that they were really lovely it it just it just didn't work out like and it's just
01:22:17
one of those things it's not it's not like it wasn't a breakup like the
01:22:22
explosive breakup that people think you know it's just just relationships usually fizzle out a they run their
01:22:28
course yeah they run the course and I just think on one of those people that are [ __ ] scared of relationships as well
01:22:33
like [ __ ] scared of being so the last you think about it from um the age of was it 31 or something like that I don't
01:22:42
know I've been bouncing across the world for the last 10 to 12 years no I feel caged in like like like
01:22:50
in a relationship I feel so PED in and and I feel as though that I'm going to
01:22:55
explode like I have to do the right thing I have to be the good partner and I have to do this and I have to act like
01:23:00
a good partner but really what I want to do is want to come in have a good time and then kind of go off and do my Moody
01:23:06
stuff somewhere else like you know and then still do a bit of rugby and still a bit of this and
01:23:12
then and then I don't have to deal with that [ __ ] is is this the ADHD do you
01:23:16
think yeah I definitely are you on are you on um like Rin or consu or no we're
01:23:22
going to the process of what what you're not on any meds yet no I've never been
01:23:25
on meds and I don't I honestly was like look I was simply going I am not ADHD
01:23:30
cuz someone was like I think I think you think it might be ADHD I'm not [ __ ]
01:23:34
ad just stop saying that to me that is such that's so disrespectful you know
01:23:38
how dare you call me ADHD and then I was like actually might have a point there yeah you might have you're a Divergent
01:23:46
at least can we just go from hav we just go sprinkles yeah sprinkles sprinkles of
01:23:50
crazy well it it's um it's exciting where you're at and it's exciting that
01:23:54
you're doing you're doing the work and uh you know that you've got more work to
01:23:57
do I think I think it's cool like like every day is a chance to reinvent or improve or tweak yeah tweaking TW you
01:24:05
always kind of you know you talk about people who they're like oh I want to heal I actually in my in my head I
01:24:11
actually don't think that you can heal I think you can just gain tools to actually mitigate
01:24:18
situations what would your uh what would your message be to any any like young person I I don't know like puberty age
01:24:25
teens early even early to late 20s I guess moldy or otherwise um that's where
01:24:30
you were like like just angry maybe drinking a bit much yeah mad at the world yeah what would you what would
01:24:37
your message be to them CU it took took you a long time and a lot of work to I'm definitely a better person now I
01:24:44
I and um yeah definitely a better person uh M it's more like you're not alive
01:24:53
um there's people out there that it's going through exactly what you're going
01:24:57
through um and your mind and I guess the funny thing is you go back to what I said to Ruby I guess when she was 18
01:25:04
that your mind plays tricks on you like that they're there your mind is there to
01:25:08
deceive you same thing as like you can relate it back to being an athlete your mind is going to tell you you can't do
01:25:14
it but your will will do will get you through and so I've had to really I and
01:25:18
I guess the message would be is like don't listen to your [ __ ] head my it is lying to
01:25:27
you but just just chicken yeah I I really like that I think that's really cool and um yeah
01:25:34
hopefully um some someone that needs to hear this will hear it or someone that knows someone that needs to hear this
01:25:41
will pass it on to them um but yeah ultimately I think you have to reach that point on your own a lot of the time
01:25:47
don't you like you did yeah I I do wish that when I was younger someone pulled
01:25:51
me aside side someone did actually say something when I was really younger um and it was actually uh Tessa's
01:25:58
ex-boyfriend he came out to me and he was just like do you know you're a really good rugby player and rugby
01:26:03
league player I said no I'm just you know cruising cuz I turned up drunk and I'm just like you know just
01:26:09
caught a couple tries Turing up you know half C and I was like no I'm not actually good he goes no you you could
01:26:14
go a long way in the sport you could you can make the Kiwi F and then you know I
01:26:19
tapped tesser on the shoulder this is when I didn't even know and I was like
01:26:23
can I come training can I you know you're the one with the biggest muscles on the team can I come and train with
01:26:27
you and she's like yep and so I I tuned up after that and I in the end I did I
01:26:33
did make those teams but you know wasn't that's very similar to the Ruby story
01:26:37
about you yeah but you planting the seed in Ruby toy yeah so so someone so I just
01:26:43
someone will some will be that Catalyst of change somewhere along the line I just wish someone had done it a little
01:26:49
bit earlier for me so like they and they called me out on my [ __ ] I wish someone
01:26:54
had actually called me out yeah why why did you get a free pass for so long I'm
01:27:00
funny I don't know I don't think I like like even though I was getting kicked
01:27:05
out of team's left right and Center they would bring me back into the team so
01:27:09
like you know and I just behave a little bit better you know just turn up a little bit earlier or so you didn't know
01:27:16
right from wrong and you could help yourself yeah I suppose yeah surprised yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah this has been a
01:27:27
really enjoyable podcast I wasn't sure what I was going to get with you like I
01:27:30
had had some done a bit of research had some notes but um [ __ ] this has been great this has been fun has it been fun
01:27:35
for you yeah it's been great I've now that I can um go off and do my own
01:27:38
podcast yeah yeah cool just using me for my um intellectual property I hope you can cut
01:27:46
some of this are you going to cut some of this um only I I extend an invite to all the guests that if there's anything
01:27:51
they want to cut out like if you if you go to sleep tonight and you wake up at 4
01:27:54
in the morning and think oh [ __ ] I shouldn't have said that I'll cut it out
01:27:58
but otherwise no no you look I'm I'm pretty much sure that most people that
01:28:01
know me that will listen to this will will know the story anyway and know all of the Antics that I got up to in the in
01:28:08
the first place and and things like that so like you know is what it is yeah I'm
01:28:12
not I'm not ashamed and nor should you be nor should you be yeah I oh M B I'm
01:28:18
I'm so pleased um that when you slid into my DMs inviting yourself on my podcast I I said [ __ ] yes I'm pleased
01:28:24
it's been a lot of fun yeah it's been great thanks for having me yeah you're
01:28:27
awesome and thanks for sharing your story don't don't cry too much my