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Runners only with dom Harvey and Simone Anderson g'day Simone hi Dom how are you
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going oh it's I'm going very well it's wonderful to have you here in my brand
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new podcast lounge with the video is set up and it's fancy as and I feel like I'm
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being watched from all angles the little big brother like right now it's kind of
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it's kind of strange so just um for those of you listening online um it's just Simone and I in a second
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bedroom that's been converted into a podcast Lounge but through that all immediately through that wall there's a
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creepy little dude called Dougie sitting there someone I didn't expect to see on
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arrival should be fair but taken back what's going on this is like the first
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uh dummy run with the new camera setup we've got so you've got a camera right
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there yeah cool I've got one right there and there's a wide one in the middle so
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this is like a dummy run cool we'll give it a go thank you so much for coming
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here first things first something we need to um tick off the podcast is called Runners only yes
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um what is your relationship like with running because I know there was a time uh maybe like 10 years ago when we we
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you were so big big you were almost unable to walk yeah it was poor eight years ago is when I started my what I
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called my journey to health and that's where I tipped the scales the 169 kgs
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and I could barely walk up my own driveway let alone go for a run I'm not gonna lie running is still not something
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I enjoy or not something I've ever enjoyed um as a primary school kid mum actually had to walk the cross country
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with me to just get me to do it because I refused to run I'll run tiny stunts
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for netball and I was always quite sporty but just little bits you know yeah no not long long distances or
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anything like that no okay I love um bring up the running thing because I think everyone in New Zealand has a
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relationship to some degree with running whether it's a positive one or a negative one yeah I feel like school
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does a lot of damage to make people think running's a bad thing yeah you're
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getting just forced into it in terms of you just had to do it and I swimming was
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my strong point and I hated running I was so swum fit but pop me in the cross crunchy field honestly 100 meters I was
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done done dusted yeah so I was trying to think this morning when I was at the gym how how are you and I
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know each other I think um you first came on my radar after you appeared on the Tyra Banks Show and you sort of blew
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up went a bit viral how that when was that like eight years ago yeah that would have been no seven years ago I
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think yeah I came on radio station with you then and it's been on and off since
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then really yeah so you you had um a gastric sleeve operation you lost a considerable amount of weight and you
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sort of blew up and you ended up in the Huffington Post Daily Mail all sorts of websites around the world so I I just
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want to go back like how did you so what were you at your Peak 169 how did you get so big for me I don't think it was
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one pinpoint in particular but it was a whole build up of different things I had
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my parents divorce at 13 years old um shortly after that my mum I found my mum in her bedroom and she tried to
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commit suicide uh from there obviously I was just quite traumatized with what life was throwing at me and I met a man
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that was 10 years my senior and when you were 15 30 25 and got into a very very unhealthy toxic relationship with him it
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was very abusive and illegal yeah well was it a sexual relationship yep yeah um you've already thought about that to
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be honest um but yeah it's been six years with him feeling very very trapped he controlled
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every movement he checked my car boat every time I left the house looking for what oh just to see if I was going out
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with friends and I put a spear change about they wouldn't tried to remove me
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from my friendships they're called learn family life and things like that so I
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think my comfort during that time and the one place I found a little bit of I guess
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happiness and release and felt safe was with food and it just became something that was always there for me that yeah
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bought me a little bit of instant gratification and it was just a very very unhealthy
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habit um and lifestyle I stopped making myself any food everything I ate was convenient
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food it was all takeaways I had my eating and you know this was even school-aged you know bags of lollies
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after school and things like that at the dairy with whatever money I was making and yeah it just sort of spiraled from
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there and then it got to the point where I was gaining such a rapid amount of weight a year I could not get control of
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it I'd try diets and I could do a diet I'm quite you know quite good at sticking to something if I say I'm gonna
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do it I'm gonna do it and I would lose the weight and then I'd start loving
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again and I'd pile it all back on and a shitload more and so for me yeah that was basically my relationship
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with food and how I got to to that point and decided at 23 years old that I did not want to live like this I was gaining
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about 10 kgs if not 15 some years and I wow I did not you know I'd sort of been
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told that I probably wouldn't live to see Thursday if I didn't change my
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lifestyle it was very very unhealthy so it's that dire yeah it was very bad when you when you look back at um like
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photos of or videos of that person now like like what do you what do you feel and that was that was me and that's
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always been me and I think like internally yeah I still see me and I see like I as much as I had a lot of trauma
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that had caused that weight gain I was still and I to the stem I'm very positive person I see the best in
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situations and I'm outgoing and I'm you know quite quite bubbly and I can always I don't know I always
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enjoyed life even even at that size I was always a go-getter so I still see me but just a younger version of me with
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you know a bit more pattern yeah that's funny because it's like the the Simone that I I know and you and I
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don't know each other that well but um I follow you online and I you know we've
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met a few times you just don't seem like a person that would um like take take [ __ ] in a
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relationship or be in a healthy relationship is it because you were just so young so you didn't really know
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it's true of both I think obviously I was feeling a lot of emotions around parents divorce and you know that
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situation and I was obviously seeking love and yeah and validation in a place where it
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wasn't really healthy and I think initially it you know all great and when I say it like this now you know he had a
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car there was Independence at that time it was a big deal and I I can't believe it now but you know like
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there was that freedom there he had a credit card we could go and do stuff and it was it was quite exciting to start
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with but then quite quickly it turned you know those traits weren't there all
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at the beginning there were obviously huge red flags and yeah I just think but before I knew it I was just in so
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deep and I think the emotional manipulation that happened really early on is what tracked me there I truly
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believed that I would not ever meet anyone else that I was so ugly so unattractive so all of these things and
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he made me believe that by repeating it to me daily I thought I was worthless and so I just stayed and you know he
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became everything does it just is it is it like I would never judge anyone for um staying in a toxic relationship
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because I don't think you know what it's like until you've been there but does it
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just sort of like chip away slowly at your self-esteem or self-worth yeah don't think I even well I know I didn't
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know it at the time like I thought it was fine and I thought yeah there were bad parts of our relationship but I
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didn't realize to the extent that he was wearing me down every day for his own you know his own Worth to
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keep me in that relationship and things that he would do and you know like start
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me on diets but then bring home McDonald's at midnight to make me feel like a failure and like I'd never be
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able to succeed yeah oh so um was it after that relationship that you decide to get the bypass yeah so I I
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think I was 21 nearly 20 yeah 21 when I finally found the strength to go actually fact this and leave the house
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that we were loving him which the whole what you call a rent thing was under my name and I couldn't afford it at the
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time but I just had knew I had to get out of that relationship and did you have support from your family or
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whatever I know it's a fractured family and your mum had mental health issues
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but were they yeah no family honestly been amazing I think the hard thing for them was watching me go through this and
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they always voiced their opinions and they always shared how much they disliked him the
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entire family but I think it was I was so defensive of him also your parents like every time you saw them you must be
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looking looking different in appearance in terms of your size yeah I guess so it's one of those things weight is sort
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of for me it was just such a slow it felt so slow it was so gradient until you look back on the yearly photos that
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you realized how how much you had changed in that year I can't remember what we were we were getting to yeah so
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so you got out of that relationship and then is that when you decided right I got to do something not right then and
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then oh [ __ ] no I was single for the first time and basically you know that those teenage years and my early 20s and
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I was just so excited about being single and I I partied up a storm because he wouldn't
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let me party and I enjoyed really enjoyed being single and having fun and white in my issue with white was just
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not on my radio at all all I wanted to do was focus on being free basically I suppose like confidence is everything so
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if you if you regardless of what you look like externally if you're confident
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you can um you know people will like you oh I had a shitload of fun yeah I was always very very you know I never had an
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issue finding a a partner and you know that was never an issue for me and I yeah I just enjoyed those two years but
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it was I guess towards the end of that time when I'd had so much fun I was just ready to
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focus on my weight and you know nothing else I was like this is my time now I'm
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ready to tackle this was was that because of like a doctor or said something a family intervention or you
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just made this decision yourself no it was actually I was remember I was flatting with a friend at the time we're
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living at the bottom of her um dad's house and I was renting a room and I had
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to bring the bins in every second week and I just remember dreading that task and it was a driveway
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that I would have would have no longer than 30 meters long not that Steve and I'd have to gear myself up for it for
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like that day no I'm not joking like it was a sorry for laughing yeah you know
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and mentally it was just I just think I could you can do this you've got this
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you know it was like it was a big deal for me and I just remember one week thinking that's so not okay I said it's
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not okay it's not okay I'm so young and things like I you know not sitting in plastic
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chairs oh because they might break oh jet like the back leg if I moved at any angle could snap airplane seats always
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having to ask for an extender it's like it was a build up of all those little
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things I was like I'm I'm so young and I don't want to be living this life
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anymore you know it's this is not the life I see for myself and I it was only
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getting worse it's not like it was at a point where I sort of could maintain it
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I couldn't I had no control of it and I knew I needed to take that control back
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so wow it's accumulating out like moments like asking for an extended seat in a plane oh so embarrassing to the
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point where the first few times I actually would just put a jumper over my lap to not have to ask and not have the
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seat belt done up because I was so mortified um and I suppose there's other things
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that you just I mean as someone that's never but never been massively overweight you know I've I have had
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periods where I've been overweight but not not to that sort of degree um things like just the sense of other
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passengers sitting either side of you or yeah oh all of that and you're very
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conscious of the space that you take up in the world and you know it's more than
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other people you don't want to make other people feel like you have to play this on the airplane I was always trying
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to be as small as a you know small as they could to not get in the way of other people that's awful so the
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operation where do you get that done and how much I had that done here in Auckland um at Auckland weight loss
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surgery and I saw a guy called Richard he it was amazing and we just went and had a consult with him and Mum came with
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me and I just liked how I guess brutally honest he was about all the questions that I had and in terms of like the
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complications and things like that he didn't sugarcoat any of it and yeah we
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basically then and there I I knew that's what I wanted to do and he said I'll go
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away and think about I said no I want to when's your next available appointment
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book me in he said this is when it is you need to start optifast here and that was it but yeah it was 90 at the time
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nineteen thousand seven hundred which I had absolutely no money like none I had to get my aunties to help guarantor
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a bank loan for me because my parents couldn't at the time because they wouldn't have been allowed to
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um and yeah now it's the best money I've ever spent but I I sort of viewed it
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some people would spend that on a car I spent that on my on your future yeah and
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I don't regret Center but so they so what word are you when you go in uh I think I had lost maybe 4K 4 kgs or
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3 kgs in the optifast which was the I had to do that for three weeks what is it like a shake diet yeah right
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basically um yeah it's a meal replacement diet the the reason you go on it is because it
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shrinks the fat around your vital organs so it just makes operating that much safer it's still dangerous of course
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because you're dealing with people who are morbidly obese and but it does mean
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that the operation is smoother yeah so you're when you go and you're a hundred
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and 65 and then how much do they take out there are in terms yeah like so what do
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you weigh on the scales like immediately afterwards oh they don't take anything
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out then it's you well they take a half yourself okay so yes that's very different to
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like um liposuction yes okay yeah yeah so they don't take out any like well they do they take out half your stomach
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but I don't remember I don't think they weighed a lot I didn't lose instant
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weight because of my tummy being removed no right okay and then what's the recovery like after that I found the
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recovery pretty straightforward I think because I was on the younger side um you bounce back yeah I'd already been
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on a weight loss Journey so I'd started my journey I didn't know when I started
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my journey that weight loss surgery was how I was going to continue it on I just
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knew I needed to make change so I I'd actually already lost 20 kgs before I had surgery I was totally wrong when I
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was saying that so yeah I was down to 100 50 or around them when I hit the surgery
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and and then I yeah I just remember I was in hospital and had a Halloween party planned I was throwing for all my
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friends um the two days later three days later and I said oh you probably won't be up to it
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and I was at the party sitting on a site but I was there or full makeup and a lot
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of plastic seat no no probably a full wooden seat at this point still um and yeah it was was totally fine I
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mean I was tired because you're not eating as much food and I got a little bit light-headed occasionally but yeah
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in terms of recovery it sort of felt like I'd eaten rocks is how I'd describe
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it just to hear me tummy yeah and then what does it do to the appetite you're
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just not hungry at all yeah no you're not hungry well you've got the mental
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hunger yeah still which I think is a really interesting side of it is that you still want food you've still got
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that real big addiction there but what it does is it takes the like the need for food away when you do eat
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food because you're full instantly yeah right like a tablespoon of milk soad I
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was satisfied but I suppose you've got to be um and we did the weight just start falling off or yeah be quickly
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initially um oh the first week was a bit slow because I had fluid retention and stuff
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like that but after that it was pretty quick and pretty regular that the weight just you know a couple of kgs every week
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God that must have been addictive what was very motivating right yeah very very motivating because it just
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it meant that and what I but you know you told is that you're given this first
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year which is like your honeymoon period um and in that first year if you set yourself up really good routines really
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good habits you can maintain that basically for life because it's you know this time where
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you're not feeling hunger you're not feeling this those same drives towards
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food that you you know necessarily were before so I had this like and I think also because I didn't have that money it
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was a huge thing for me it wasn't a like oh I should just give it a go last resort you know I knew I had to do
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this yeah 20K as well yeah so so you can get a gastric sleeve and if you're not
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sensible about it or disciplined about it you can stretch your stomach again yeah it's a muscle so you'll find lots
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of patients um over time and over the years to come if they don't change their
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lifestyle their eating habits their routines their habits everything like that it it the weight will slowly come
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back on right yeah you still lose weight in the clay because it's a smaller tummy
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right but if you don't change what you're eating and how your lifestyle is
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because you you have got um you've got so many such a fan base now and so many
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supporters but also so many detractors as well and one thing that I you you don't have to go too deep online to read
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about you people say oh well she she just she she you know she got skinny the easy way by which is not it's a bit
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disingenuous isn't it because it's not like how it was really well you have the
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operation which I think it probably gives you a head start but then you've got to do the hard work yourself yeah I
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sort of I view it like anything else in life like we're we're given Helping
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Hands to work towards tasks or goals and if say you're a smoker you might use a
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patch to help you stop smoking but you still stop smoking and I that's how I
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view weight loss surgery it's it's not going to do the job for you and if you
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just were to get the surgery and do sweet if all else your life won't change
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you you know it'll you'll lose the weight but you'll gain it all back and
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it's a it's a tool and a helping hand but you still very much need to put in
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the work but again it's a tool that is an incredible incredibly powerful tool
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too I could not have done and I will say this very on openly and honestly without
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this tool I tried for 10 years you know this was this was the tool that I needed
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to to change my life and to give me I guess the the courage that I could actually do
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it yeah and haven't you and and when did you start um when did you decide to
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share your journey on social media which I'm guessing at this point wasn't so
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much Instagram mainly Facebook yeah it was mainly Facebook um and I decided to do this right at the
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beginning because I remember sitting I was interning at a friend's Jewelry Factory and I worked there two days a
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week and I loved it because I got to make jewelry that fit me um because big body chains and necklaces
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that would fit my neck and it was awesome and she was fun time and I remember they were selling the
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commercial scale there um and I thought [ __ ] I I want to know what I weigh and I know household scale
00:19:02
had weighed me for years and so I remember one lunch break running down what do you mean because they just
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couldn't go higher yeah so I just didn't know what I weighed and I knew I wanted to know what
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I weighed so I snuck down and stood on the scale and it was actually in that moment where it was like I've got to do
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something and I've got to make a change but didn't know how I was going to make
00:19:22
this change so for the rest of that afternoon I just went back upstairs and I just basically cried in the office and
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my brain was just spiraling with heaps of negative emotions but also just trying to think how do I do it this time
00:19:33
and one of the ways that I came up with that I ended up calling mum that night about was actually sharing it to my
00:19:40
friends and family on Facebook and just documenting my journey because I know that I'm someone that's hugely held
00:19:46
accountable by other people and I'm driven and very motivated when other people know what I'm up to and how many
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followers did you have then like under a thousand couple of hundred yeah maybe 800 friends and family on all friends
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and family on Facebook and Mum was like it was a great idea but I was obviously petrified because as soon as you do it
00:20:03
are you uh accountability level yeah sharing what I weighed sharing what I was doing
00:20:09
and sharing photos of myself half naked it was it was a huge thing and I just remember crying for three days and
00:20:15
eventually pressing post and going what have I done you know like I've got to do
00:20:21
this now but that was that was the start of it and at that point social media or
00:20:26
as far as I was aware no one was really doing it for a job it was there are a few people on YouTube making money
00:20:31
through AdSense but I never thought of that as the driving factor for me it was purely to keep myself accountable and
00:20:38
yeah I shared photos of my feet when I'd go for a walk and a half eaten mango and you know quotes
00:20:45
that inspired me and that was that was the start of it and it was right at the beginning
00:20:49
yeah because it's like um I suppose there's a lot of Envy towards you from
00:20:54
people because everyone would like to be an influencer come on everyone loves the idea of
00:21:01
getting free Parcels we'll get into this in more detail later but everyone loves
00:21:06
the idea of not having an actual job getting paid to post [ __ ] online getting a whole lot of free stuff but as as you
00:21:13
said like you never set out to be an influencer which I think a lot of kids these days probably try to do like it
00:21:18
started with a very genuine Earnest reason and there's a lot of um a lot of talk these days about uh vulnerability
00:21:24
and the importance of that and you were doing that before it was sort of fashionable yeah I think a lot it was
00:21:30
just timing wise right if I had shared what I was doing two years later my page wouldn't have been picked up and gained
00:21:36
traction like it did it was just it was a crazy weird time where no one was really sharing much in terms of like
00:21:44
you're saying vulnerability online uh no one was really diving deep into those
00:21:47
like nitty-gritty topics it was just a very like surface level place and I think
00:21:53
if I had you know shared two years later it was already flattered and saturated it was just a right time in terms of
00:22:00
without knowing it sharing what I was sharing so how did the have they had the viral
00:22:05
stuff online come about like um I mentioned before Huffington Post Daily Mail the Tyra Banks TV show on the
00:22:10
states yeah it's been so talked about this um I remember probably about six weeks into sharing
00:22:17
what I was sharing online I noticed friends of friends starting following friends mums you know people I didn't
00:22:23
know started just following my page and I just remember thinking why why do they
00:22:27
care like I was posting the most just basic stuff it just didn't make sense to
00:22:32
me that someone that didn't know me wanted to follow the stuff um and that just sort of started slowly
00:22:36
growing and then quite quickly before I knew it there were 10 000 people then there were a hundred thousand people and
00:22:43
I was just sharing my life and I it wasn't ever hard for me it was just sharing updates and progress and yeah
00:22:49
what my guess my journey with gastric sleeve surgery too so sharing the ups and downs and I remember quite early on
00:22:55
talking quite in depth around why I was going to share and talk about gastric sleeves surgery so openly and honestly
00:23:02
because I didn't want it to be a shameful thing it was something I was really proud of taking that step in that
00:23:06
decision and lots of people had always you know had head gastric sleeve surgery but that hidden it from friends and
00:23:11
family and it was a place where a woman could reach out and talk why why would not so much anymore I don't believe but
00:23:21
something that people definitely look down on you would like you're saying you're taking the easy Road out it's not
00:23:25
like it wasn't viewed as like a a positive decision in your life it was like you're a cop-out you're not doing
00:23:32
it yourself you're not just going on a diet you know it's not really a shortcut
00:23:35
though it's like it's like a leg up I guess totally yeah yeah I don't know I think well who cares
00:23:41
anyway yeah you know that's what it is did and I totally I respect both sides
00:23:47
of that but I also think the people that do have those views have never struggled
00:23:50
with being morbidly obese or having a weight issue or an issue around food addiction issue or anything like that I
00:23:56
guess you know like that's not something you can say that they've hello oh yeah
00:24:00
you want to play with the ball you can't do it's busy doing a podcast hey I'm
00:24:04
down we will say play afterwards but throw the ball a couple of times and then he's bored anyway yeah so so
00:24:10
someone from um someone from one of the news organizations just like steal some of your photos and write a story or yeah
00:24:16
so when all that started happening um basically like it was still to this day places like the Huffington or post
00:24:23
and Daily Mail someone will take some images write some text and share a story and then obviously all those same news
00:24:35
and that again just I just remember watching my follow account just was like going I was Nanny at the time and my
00:24:41
phone was just going crazy and messages and I've still got unread messages on
00:24:46
Facebook from that time like where it was just so like thousands of messages yeah it was crazy
00:24:52
wow was that like the moment that your life sort of changed do you think the trajectory of your life
00:24:57
um to a degree I I guess at 100 was but without realizing it yeah of course yeah
00:25:02
you don't know what it's going to lead to or okay so then um and then so Tyra
00:25:06
Banks her show calls they flew over to the states yeah so that was actually a before and after photo I shared where I
00:25:11
had got to my goal weight which my goal was to lose half my body weight in a year and I did that in 11 months so I
00:25:17
lost 84.5 kgs which is very exciting that is so much work and I shared a before and after photo uh but I shared
00:25:24
it with my work out leggings pulled up and I took a photo and everyone sort of wrote all these negative comments like
00:25:30
that's not the same person and different phone different nose where's all the low
00:25:35
skin all of these sort of things and I remember I'd change from an Android to
00:25:39
an apple and you know like couldn't possibly be the same person I remember at the time this really upsetting me
00:25:44
because I was I did this this is me I worked so hard to was this your first experience with maybe online my theory
00:25:52
first yeah up until then I've been super positive and encouraging and I don't
00:25:55
think I'd ever had a negative message before so it was just solder store and I
00:25:59
was like this is so tough so it's like I'm gonna prove them wrong so I pulled
00:26:03
down my workout pants and I took a photo and I shared more of my face so you could see and shared them side by side
00:26:08
and that photo then went completely viral and that's where all the Articles happened
00:26:13
um but at the same time a surgeon in the states saw this photo and picked up on it and his media team reached out and
00:26:20
offered to perform skin removal surgery on my stomach and my breasts for me and so that got me to the states uh which
00:26:27
was just a huge experience and I still to the state can't believe that at that
00:26:33
age I went across the world on my own to not really knowing if it was a true thing or not either you know like anyone
00:26:39
could have turned up at the airport I suppose um I suppose in a sense I was maybe kind of a poignant moment as well
00:26:46
like getting in the plane and not needing the extender seat and the extended belt I remember sharing that
00:26:50
that whole journey and yeah yeah it was very like full circle I guess for me um and then while I was over in the
00:26:56
states I was documenting again the the surgery and I had a full YouTube channel on it and was sharing it on
00:27:03
Instagram Facebook and YouTube and that was where Tyra's producers reached out
00:27:09
and got in touch and they wanted to fly me while I was in the states to the top you know to LA to the Tyra Bank show
00:27:15
but at this point I was four days four days post-op so I was still so high on pain medication I could barely walk
00:27:24
let alone like speak and they're like we want to get her here my doctorate surgeon was like well obviously it's a
00:27:29
great PR experience for him too but it's still an incredibly dangerous thing for
00:27:34
me to go into on my own so he was like well you can go if I can come with you so he who's amazing flew with me and we
00:27:39
went and did the Tyra Banks Show which again was just huge growth in publicity in terms of my page and an amazing
00:27:46
experience and it you know and its own right she was amazing so it was the whole team so yeah did that and that was
00:27:51
that sort of period there because how much um you just before we move on from there
00:27:56
because it's a it's a whole fascinating story and you've done so well how much
00:28:00
loose skin is there when you lose that much weight that quickly what's the what's the loose skin like varies person
00:28:06
to person and everyone's skin is so different I had a lot of low skin and oh
00:28:11
yeah covered and I still got low skin covering my body too despite having surgeries uh it's just part of part of
00:28:17
who I am now but yeah it was stegan my yeah everything was very low how do you feel about your body now like
00:28:25
when you're when you're naked in front of the mirror you feel good about what
00:28:27
you see you feel you like the person you see inside and out yeah I'd actually
00:28:30
decided because I never thought um having skin removal surgery would be a financial option for me so I know what's
00:28:36
the cost if you have to pay for it oh okay anywhere from in Thailand 20 000 up to hundreds of thousands of dollars
00:28:42
depending on where you go uh but yeah I just because of the financial situation I was in I I knew that it just wasn't an
00:28:50
option for me so I I decided that I had to to just come to terms with this body this
00:28:55
is my body the reason I did this surgery was not for vanity it was for my life and my health and you know hopefully
00:29:01
living to grow family and raise children and yeah I'd completely done a shitload
00:29:08
of self work to to get to a point where I I really liked my body even with all my low skin do you mean what like what
00:29:15
sort of self-work uh so every single morning um I look in the mirror and repeat things to myself that I wanted to
00:29:21
believe and and that was do you remember what they were oh I was talking about my
00:29:25
legs and like the the loose skin on them and I'd pull it out and I'd you know
00:29:30
repeat why my legs were powerful that they moved me places that they were you know going to carry me through hopefully
00:29:35
having children and all of those sort of things um rather than the physical appearance
00:29:40
of them and it just got to the point where I mean we believe the negative things that we
00:29:45
we speak to ourselves right because we repeat them over and over and over it's
00:29:49
the same with positive if you're repeating something over and over and over before you know it your brain
00:29:54
starts to believe these things you know it's a very powerful little little tool
00:29:58
our brains and so that's sort of how I you know would tackle that and I did a
00:30:02
lot of journaling and just writing down my feelings and and I guess trying to come to the bottom of why I didn't like
00:30:08
certain things to try and rewire that in my head and so much of it was just society and what Society had told us was
00:30:14
typically beautiful and why couldn't it be the opposite and I found the more I
00:30:18
shared these parts of myself online the more I shared photos of these parts it just it gave me so much confidence and
00:30:23
so much power in them and I was I was taking that power back you know yeah good for you I mean think about that
00:30:28
mirror stuff because it's um my my negative self-talk okay I'm a bully to
00:30:34
myself at times I'm a horrible bully I'm I'm so hard on myself at times and it's
00:30:38
uh I don't know part of me thinks it's like a drive or a perfectionism thing
00:30:42
but another part of me thinks when I catch myself doing it I would not accept that sort of [ __ ] from anybody else
00:30:48
family member or otherwise so why would I treat myself that way so how long do you have to do like the mirror
00:30:55
affirmation stuff before before you start to believe it I think it's different for everyone I mean and it
00:30:59
depends how deep rooted your issues are right like and what you're trying to get
00:31:03
into the bottom of that I honestly truly believe that with with time and with repeating something enough and wanting
00:31:10
it to it's something that you can change like we can change how we view situations and we can change how we
00:31:16
perceive different people in different situations so it's exactly the same within ourselves yeah
00:31:21
oh good for you good for you and it is this sort of about the time when um influencing became a thing
00:31:27
where so you had a little bit of Fame and you see your follow account grew uh so when you got back from the states
00:31:33
with Tyra like what was you were you on Instagram then yeah yeah they actually seemed randomly enough
00:31:40
they sort of ended up growing at a pretty similar rate like some would go up higher and one would go up high but
00:31:45
they ended up about exactly the same over time um but at that point I think I don't
00:31:51
know if influencing was very much a thing I remember about a year after that point
00:31:55
it was when I got my first message and it was from an oat Biscuit Company saying we'd love to send you some oat
00:32:02
biscuits I think of course yeah they said when I tried them and I talked about it and yeah that was that really
00:32:11
and then you know another brand would come and do the same thing and it wasn't
00:32:16
until probably six months into that and just sharing and talking about different
00:32:20
things that I liked and that I was using or that I'd try and that my godmother
00:32:25
would say what are you charging these companies so what do you mean what are you charging you're giving them good
00:32:30
exposure it's marketing so nothing I can't charge for this so you should even
00:32:35
Ken she's ruthless um and so you know that sort of got me very forward thinking on her part yeah I mean it
00:32:41
seems so common now and it makes so much sense now but at the time it was it was
00:32:45
pretty out there oh very out there and also I don't like asking for money I don't like talking about money I don't
00:32:50
like I like just helping people out so for me it was an awful thing that I thought
00:32:55
absolutely not and then I remember there was a business where we did a there was
00:32:59
a t-shirt they sent me and afterwards they sent me a message saying thanks so much you sold 180 t-shirts and I thought
00:33:04
well cool that's awesome and then I talked to my aunt and she was like do you know what you just made dinner with
00:33:09
a two-minute thing and you know and I said oh okay maybe I can start talking about you know money and I just because
00:33:16
I was doing it for myself I remember someone would get in touch and say will you share this I said sure it's this
00:33:21
much and they accept it and I'd do it and the next comment come along I tried
00:33:25
a little bit more I tried a little bit more and I said ah there we go and it sort of got to the point where I was so
00:33:30
busy doing these little different gigs that I was nannying and I built my hair and makeup business to nearly full time
00:33:36
but I just couldn't do it all but I also wasn't making enough from social media
00:33:41
to think about leaving those attitudes yeah you know I was my only see how I paid the rent each
00:33:48
week and so that was a you know a big decision and that actually took meeting my partner Trent and we'd been together
00:33:56
for about a year by that point and him saying look I can cover the rent if you can't afford it but I want you to give
00:34:03
this a go and see if you can you know turn it into something and I remember that very first week once I'd left my
00:34:09
nanny job getting two big contracts that were basically half my Year's income and
00:34:15
it was just that moment for me that like I can I can do this and it was a universe saying that you know I just
00:34:21
opened myself up to it and I was yeah that was a driving go factor for me as far as like the influenza Scene goes in
00:34:28
New Zealand you've got to be making more than anyone else don't you I don't know
00:34:31
every time I every day I go to your story it looks like honestly there's so many little dashes it looks like it
00:34:37
looks like a woodpecker's been on a morse code machine yeah why my husband doesn't watch my story
00:34:45
what do you mean they're like do you know watch his stories he's like of
00:34:49
course I don't look at all those little dots and you have managed to turn it
00:34:53
into a very viable very viable career for myself yeah good for you I enjoy it um yeah yeah I want to get to your
00:35:01
schedule and stuff and how you do it because it's I feel like you have a really good schedule and routine and
00:35:08
structure in your life whereas me I probably end up spending more time on Instagram than what you do but I'm just
00:35:12
looking at other people's [ __ ] but I'm guessing you're on there yeah we'll just
00:35:15
talk about that now so do you like have um an hour a day where you do posts or to it like do you have like a social
00:35:21
media time or are you just on your phone through yeah so I schedule my day out at
00:35:26
the start of every week and I'll have all my non-negotiables in there first which is my exercise and my little bits
00:35:31
and pieces for me and then any work contracts that come into it I'll put in where I need to you know fulfill those
00:35:37
and then I schedule in in different slots in the day responding to messages because on an average day I could spend
00:35:42
anywhere from four to six hours responding to messages and that was a lot more when I had my story replies on
00:35:47
uh so yeah I do I fully have to view it as it's not a social thing for me it's
00:35:54
not an enjoyment platform I don't spend any time scrolling Instagram or looking
00:35:58
at other people's content it's only if it pops up straight away and then I'll
00:36:02
actually use it as like I wonder what other people are doing to see where the industry's at I'll have to use it as
00:36:07
like a you've got to keep up with this because you're an app but I don't use it
00:36:10
as like a I don't see what my friends are up to or anything like that when you're on there it's work yeah yeah
00:36:17
and um you mentioned uh twin before so how did you guys make and when did you guys meet we met which would make false
00:36:23
sense with what I do um online on Tinder and we met in 2000 well seven years ago
00:36:28
so 2015. so after you had the skin removed uh yeah wait yeah just after right right
00:36:36
about a month what do you think I mean everything in terms of timing and stuff everything I think in life happens for a
00:36:41
reason um but you know we talked before about how you felt like the same person you
00:36:45
felt like the same person knows what you felt back then but obviously physically
00:36:48
you looked very different do you think if you met say 10 years ago he you know there would have still been that
00:36:53
attraction he would have fallen in love definitely not I was not you know like in terms of
00:36:59
where you are at life where I was at we were not anywhat aligned he's got a huge
00:37:04
passion for hiking and fitness and you know different things I just would never ever have aligned with him either and I
00:37:11
just think timing wise I was also at a point where I was ready to meet someone I decided that I was really happy where
00:37:18
I was in my life you know everything was sort of flowing nicely but I was ready and open to have that relationship again
00:37:23
after obviously my last relationship I had a lot of work to do after that and yeah no I don't think we would have but
00:37:30
we might have met but we're five years differing ages so it was just oh yeah
00:37:35
he's younger than you yeah I was 24 he was 19. 19. controversial the whole family we like Hungarian it's
00:37:47
just a thing is that right is it yeah well yeah no all of us well I mean they don't care but as you get older it's
00:37:54
nothing right so now it feels like nothing but at the time it was definitely like quite a big deal you're
00:37:59
talking about someone that was in university I mean let's yeah but he's a
00:38:04
grown-ass man but you could still if you wanted to frame him as being a teenage boy looking back on photos I think it
00:38:10
did look very young like yeah but I I looked younger then too so um well God what was this age what was
00:38:19
your age when sitting on Tinder and what was his well I started and mine was only
00:38:24
a few years either side and then I like saturated that market I'd gone on everything and then I decided to just
00:38:31
extend it slowly year by year until you know it says no more matches and as you've gone through so I thought I'll do
00:38:37
it a little bit further I'd go on a few more dates they were terrible extended a
00:38:41
little bit further so I was probably quite old and quite Young by that yeah illegally yeah yeah yeah but yeah during
00:38:48
the whole thing yeah and then the um the geographic rate range that needs to get
00:38:52
higher like okay I'll go 200k that's fine I don't mind a weekend in Wellington yeah
00:38:59
59 each way it's good and when did you realize it was love was it Philly instant or very very quickly for me um I
00:39:07
was a lot I think quicker on that side of things than him we had our first few dates it was just so easy and
00:39:14
just so natural and now we just had so much fun and I remember after probably two or three weeks just locking in one
00:39:22
day and I just had this uncontrollable urge that I just had to tell him how I felt and I said I've got something I
00:39:29
love you and what was this like date three did you say no no week three four weeks we'd seen each other every day
00:39:35
okay every day and you know I've spent a lot of time together but it was just
00:39:39
very quick for me and I just remember him just going powerless guys so um I I really like you and I just
00:39:48
remember my heart breaking into like there's only one correct answer a million paces and just thinking what
00:39:54
have I done have I ruined this like coming way too hot and it was just like okay well let's just brush over there
00:39:59
and it was about a week later he was like look I you know I I do love you I really love you I just
00:40:06
it takes me a lot to get to that point and I just I wanted to really make sure I knew it before saying because I don't
00:40:10
want to ever say it with it you know it's a very very genuine caring caring person and I just think he needed to
00:40:17
know deep down he's got a lot of um very strong religious views and morals and it just a lot was playing into it I
00:40:24
know that that's respect to this day not that it didn't take away from the hurt
00:40:27
and the shattering at the time and the embarrassment but you know were you well so he so you said I love you and he said
00:40:36
I like you and then a week later he says I love you yeah was um what was that week like were you salty towards him
00:40:42
like did he end up saying after a week because he's like oh God I need to give
00:40:45
myself out of the dog box no that we was actually totally fine and I think you know like we did talk through afterwards
00:40:51
and explained his feelings around it and everything like that but no it was just
00:40:55
it's normal yeah yeah oh that's beautiful so yeah um I mean he got married quite young then I guess to this
00:41:00
day and age yeah yeah he did um yeah well 27 25 25 yeah yeah she's on the younger side yeah he always
00:41:12
said he wanted to be a young father and yeah yeah and your parents you've got a
00:41:18
a child you've got a son yes how old's your son he is 15 months just 10 15
00:41:23
months how's that been it's been amazing he's just the coolest little addition to
00:41:27
our lives and I think I always knew growing up that I my biggest biggest wish in biggest dream in life was to be
00:41:34
a mother and I always had this and I think that's why for me that weight loss
00:41:38
driving factor to lose weight was just so strong because I knew if I could do this hopefully I'd have a better chance
00:41:44
of conceiving and you know having a healthier healthy baby and and he's just
00:41:50
been yeah the greatest addition and we were just so ready for him too you know it was the perfect stage of life we
00:41:55
wanted it we set up in terms of how we wanted to be set up to have a child and raise a child so he's been amazing yeah
00:42:02
yeah and I mean so social media like everyone talks about how it's um like a
00:42:06
like a highlights wheel or a snapshot of people's lives but you you do seem to
00:42:09
share a lot but you also make um parenting look like quite easy it's like you're breezing through it yeah are you
00:42:16
uh yeah I get this a lot and I think what a lot of people are going to hate you for this yeah when I talk about a
00:42:23
Parenthood and people say why don't you show the shitty side and I I find it
00:42:27
really tough because we're parenting from a huge place of privilege are huge we've got two really
00:42:35
good incomes we're not coming from it from any Financial struggle we can afford nappies each week wipes and food
00:42:41
we don't have to worry about the rent or the mortgage or anything not coming out
00:42:45
we don't have any of that Financial stress we've got two parents that Trent
00:42:49
works from home a lot of the time so I still get flexibility and well as you're
00:42:54
sleeping at lunch I can go out and get my nails done so many mothers and parents are working you know some dads
00:42:59
working 12-hour days mothers that can't ever leave their children we can afford
00:43:04
daycare two days a week so I can get back into work it's it's just such a
00:43:08
place of privilege we've got family around us like Trent's parents would
00:43:13
literally they'll live two hours away but they drive in the drop of a half I
00:43:16
said I'm struggling and they'd be here to look after we've got friends that
00:43:19
babysit we can afford babysitters so Parenthood for us has we've got this amazing Village around us and it hasn't
00:43:26
been challenging yes it's challenging moments of anything know right like when
00:43:31
you talk about any situation any job any part of life they're a sticky challenging moments but I think when you
00:43:38
look at it from a lens of perspective I I can't complain about Parenthood and I
00:43:42
can't say it's been really tough or really hard because our position is from
00:43:45
a huge place of privilege and I just feel so lucky and I also never ever thought
00:43:50
that I truly have this baby and another one on the way and I just feel grateful for that so you are you are quite good
00:43:56
with that gratitude stuff are you you really no no like boiling things down to a base level like um before you you came
00:44:02
and say for this chat I uh I um typed your name into Spotify just to see what other podcasts you've been on there's
00:44:07
anyone that came up and in that you talked about how you know like sometimes when you're doing the washing or
00:44:12
whatever you'll take a moment to reflect how lucky you are to have like a washing
00:44:16
machine and you don't have to go to laundromat or whatever which I started laughing I was listening at the gym it
00:44:20
was like well I never think about [ __ ] like that but if you if you if you take
00:44:24
gratitude like for a bass level like that um it does make your life a whole lot easier and a whole lot better I guess
00:44:29
yeah it's been something my parents have always instilled and us kids from a
00:44:34
really young age is to be grateful like always to strive for more and to have goals and aspirations but to be
00:44:40
incredibly grateful for where you are right now because where you are right now is a place you would have dreamed of
00:44:45
five years ago and I think that is a constant reminder for me if I ever find myself carried away and they're like I
00:44:50
want this or I want that or I want to be there I just take a step back and I think actually Simon five years ago I
00:44:56
would have dreamed of just having this baby and being in this moment right now and you know not having to like not
00:45:02
having the stress of worrying about the mortgage coming out and things like that and it's just a
00:45:07
place of I think if you put it in perspective it does make it makes you really happy each day is like I don't
00:45:12
know I just don't stress about little [ __ ] that often very really you know
00:45:17
it's hard though it's not always um as easy said as what it has done but if you
00:45:22
can be like happy and enjoy the moment um Life's a lot better like happiness
00:45:26
has got to be a place where you're at now rather than a place in the future yeah I feel like if you constantly
00:45:32
striving towards something more there's always something that you feel is missing whereas actually you've got if
00:45:38
you look around sorry that was my tummy making weird things you've got you know
00:45:41
basically everything you want right yeah oh gosh we can raise the sound on there
00:45:49
it'll be a real good real good I don't know I just yeah I feel grateful for it we'll get you a sponsorship deal
00:45:56
with quickies yeah I need that after gas to replace Cedric yeah um and how's how's your mental health
00:46:03
been over the years it's like um like from the outset it seems it seems it seems good like there must have been
00:46:07
down I I don't know like just going back to the thing you said really early on on
00:46:12
the podcast like about your mum you're finding your mum out to see um try to
00:46:16
take her own life when you were when you were 13 so there's there's obviously
00:46:19
mental health issues in the family have you sort of dodged a bullet for the most
00:46:22
part or is it something you've had to work on really hard never struggled and
00:46:27
this is a something that I'm forever grateful for because I can only imagine
00:46:31
how much I out of life is if you do struggle with any sort of mental health you know illness and I've never
00:46:37
struggled with any sort of depression or anxiety or anything in that realm I've
00:46:41
had really low points in my life I've had really challenging situations I've
00:46:44
had points where I've felt just defeated but I've never had that like what people
00:46:50
because I don't know what it feels like describes that cloud come over you where
00:46:53
you don't feel like you can find their way out so I feel incredibly blessed in
00:46:57
that sense that I haven't had to fight that battle what do those moments of defeat that you're talking about
00:47:02
um just a huge huge points where you know I mean just before I go on to start this whole weight loss
00:47:12
journey I remember losing I had training jobs I lost all three because the kids were school-aged children and I tried to
00:47:19
find new work um and and couldn't there was nothing going and I got to the point where I had
00:47:24
two dollars in my bank account couldn't afford my rent that week and I just you know it was
00:47:30
just so money issues are a huge huge video I just couldn't get out of it and
00:47:35
I remember having to go to um work and income and I couldn't afford to bus down there so I had to walk down
00:47:42
there and that was a huge thing for me at that time and oh yeah that's when you
00:47:45
couldn't couldn't really putting the rubbishments yeah so that was a big
00:47:49
thing that was you know a few cares um and like that was just a huge you know I was like how do I keep going it's
00:47:55
like I couldn't find jobs and then for I was on work and income for a few months
00:47:59
and they send you out to job interviews and things like that I keep getting declined and not being excited I was
00:48:05
just super defeating you know that's one little moment but yeah I've had
00:48:10
can't really think of the top of my head but points where I've I felt like you
00:48:13
just don't really want to like you don't have that spark or that Joy or you know
00:48:17
anymore but yeah it happens so it happens I mean you you um you don't have to go
00:48:24
too far into your like Instagram account you've got a massive following by the
00:48:27
way 300 and something thousand and uh there's so many like Brands and companies that want to work with you
00:48:33
um and I suppose with that it does come out it does come at a price and uh whether it's based on on Envy or
00:48:40
something else there is a [ __ ] ton of trolling directed your way a lot of like
00:48:45
real negative comments and I I don't care what anyone says that [ __ ] does hurt I definitely am I I'd say Well when
00:48:54
it started like five six years ago when I felt really started I had some horrific days where I would read this
00:49:03
stuff and I'd just stew and I'm such a people pleaser I go out of my way to
00:49:09
make sure that people like me I try my hardest in life to be a liked person to do good things to be kind and for these
00:49:17
people to not really give a [ __ ] about any of that and still have their opinion
00:49:21
it really hurt and I would just like dwell on it and I was actually trained that it was just so good at getting me
00:49:29
out of that funk he was like do that have these people ever met you no do these people know you do your friends
00:49:35
and family think these things no do you know does anyone that's ever met you
00:49:38
think these things about you no he said well you have to be okay and knowing that who you are and knowing
00:49:45
what your moral compass is and knowing that you know what life you want to live and it was that would definitely help me
00:49:52
it still wasn't easy it took years and I think it actually took years of just
00:49:55
developing a really just a skin around it and just having mechanisms and coping you know things that I'd say to myself
00:50:03
and not reading it firstly is you know if you can help it and avoid it and and not letting yourself go down that track
00:50:11
of just like dwelling on it you know it's it's hard though I I try and remind
00:50:15
myself um you know I think of my like like in a circle of say 15 or 20 people and you
00:50:20
think would any of those people ever go to someone's page of someone they don't
00:50:24
know and write something like that and the answer I always come to is no absolutely [ __ ] not
00:50:31
honestly well you have the same check the eye look and I can lock it but we've
00:50:35
got a very large extended unique varied weird and quirky bunch of friends and family in our life and I
00:50:43
could look at our closest 50 and say truthfully that same thing I have never seen anyone rely on a New Zealand Herald
00:50:49
article I don't think anyone comment on anyone's page or send them a message
00:50:54
privately with something nasty and it comes down to the fact that they're all
00:50:58
living really fulfilled quite happy generally like content lives and they've got no
00:51:06
desire to do that you know I think that must take a certain type of person and that certain type of person is clearly
00:51:12
they're struggling in themselves because you there's just no need to you just
00:51:15
would never feel the need you don't look at anyone that's doing cool [ __ ] they're
00:51:20
sitting online yeah riding crap you know yeah that's unless it's their career yeah that is
00:51:27
that is so Trend that's something that um over the years I think I've developed
00:51:31
more first of all when you see like a a main comment director at yourself it hurts
00:51:36
you and then you feel rage or whatever but then I try and step back and go [ __ ]
00:51:40
that person must be having a real prick of a day like they must be dealing with some some heavy [ __ ] to be that angry
00:51:47
about someone they don't even know in a situation they're not even aware of
00:51:50
really yeah and everything comes from a point of your own lens and your own perspective right so
00:51:55
even if that person is they're feeling okay at their point of life right then
00:52:00
and there and they're not battling anything right there their experience up into that point has formed them into who
00:52:05
they are and their view on a certain situation so if they're then going to have a negative view around something
00:52:10
like that that could have been something that 10 years ago is triggering them you
00:52:14
know that they haven't worked through or that is still really upsetting for them
00:52:17
and it's you know that I just can't see it now in this for me where I am now having a huge
00:52:23
effect on some of these comments it's just you have to brush it off it has to
00:52:27
be I more try and take the purse out of it it's um yeah easier said than done
00:52:32
though to Shake it Off have you ever needed like therapy or counseling over the years no I've never
00:52:37
my favorite thing for me I I I'm an oat like I really love cheating and I love
00:52:42
talking and I'm very open in with those around me so I think probably unfortunately those closest to
00:52:48
me just end up dealing with and hearing all my all my stuff so you know open book with everyone
00:52:54
I mean that's that's quite good if you've got those relationships like
00:52:57
because that's essentially what therapy is so except if you've got like a
00:53:00
trained professional giving you some different perspectives and ways of looking at it rather than just oh don't
00:53:04
worry about it yeah therapist so don't worry about it um what about I I don't know if you want
00:53:10
to go there but some of the nastiest I mean so is there any that like stick out is like wow I can't believe someone
00:53:15
would write that about another human being oh I get lots on my on my physical appearance yeah like what I was
00:53:21
scrutinized I get told I look like a transvestite that I looked like I do surely that's a dude
00:53:28
um people zoom in on my toes and are you wearing clothes shoes I don't know I I've never thought my
00:53:36
toes are that weird oh they're quite long are they quite long toes is that what people say I don't
00:53:44
know they just like look at the separation between those two and oh the third is longer than the no it's not but
00:53:50
okay Dougie does she need to hold it up to a camera watch it everyone came with three
00:53:56
here we go what a weird thing to do things it's so weird and I've never really looked too
00:54:05
closely at my toes until you know until those comments and they say E.T cool wants your toes back or something
00:54:11
um that's kind of funny you know oh sorry I'll move this back all of it's quite amusing when it comes
00:54:18
down to that and I have no pinpoint parts of my body where they'll talk about like lumps and bumps on the side
00:54:25
of my body instead of Photoshop that part of my body and when in reality it's
00:54:29
the fact that I've lost weight and I've now got a shitload of low skin and
00:54:32
cellulite and that's what they're seeing in the photo but it's you just get
00:54:36
scrutinized for all of that's the thing I think the comments that hit me the
00:54:39
most are the ones where it's about me Sam you know about this innocent little
00:54:43
child like what what sort of things would people say about a baby oh that he was he's slow to talk right um that he's
00:54:50
developing differently or you know like things like that where he's just a normal baby and developing its own race
00:54:55
and yeah stuff like that that you just find bizarre why would you put you know focus on me tear me apart no no no no no
00:55:02
no don't just don't tear it anyway you need to thank me or the kid no no
00:55:10
yeah that's another weird thing I feel like this is um maybe a key I don't know if this is a universal
00:55:16
thing or a kiwi thing but it's like people say the solution is well if you don't if you don't want to subject
00:55:21
yourself to this sort of criticism don't put yourself out there which seems I don't know it just seems like a weird
00:55:26
thing to say it's like if you don't want people to comment on you just don't do
00:55:29
anything with your life ever yeah well I get that a lot it's like well she's
00:55:33
chosen to live her life online uh so she's asking for it or you know she's
00:55:38
choosing to do this publicly so she deserves to be one of them with she shares herself publicly she gained her
00:55:44
attraction because of uh losing weight so her body deserves to be scrutinized and it's just a bizarre thing for me
00:55:50
that because you are more of that public figure somehow all your rights and all your human just general respect goes
00:55:58
away and that you can suddenly you know public can just tear your part for every
00:56:01
element it's I don't get it but that's how some people view it it's lucky that
00:56:06
you've got the um the strength of character to sort of deal with and process that uh like someone that
00:56:11
Springs to mind is um do you know Charlotte Dawson yeah so Charlotte Dawson um Australian New Zealand sort of
00:56:18
influencer I guess you'd call it but even before the time of social media your social art influence or whatever
00:56:23
and she um she ended up getting a very of comments from people you know telling her that she should she should kill
00:56:28
herself and she ended up doing it so if you catch someone on a bad day and you hit them with the wrong comment like it
00:56:32
can be really negative do you think so it seems like you've always been been
00:56:36
good have you like has this social media Journey made you more resilient and even
00:56:41
stronger do you think more Steely yeah just out of necessity or you had to it's
00:56:47
either for me it was a there were a few points where it got incredibly bad two years ago I think when all the Herald
00:56:54
articles and everything was just wild and it was about two months of my life where
00:56:59
it was it was tough you there wasn't a day where you weren't being thrown under
00:57:04
the bus for something that you hadn't done what was that about I missed that
00:57:07
completely it was about a scandal towards um charity basically donations that was
00:57:13
proved as not true uh but that was even once they got the proof it was still everywhere right and you're still your
00:57:21
whole character's being torn apart and it was during that time where and there
00:57:26
was you know a few points where it was just it was incredibly bloody tough because I'm someone that I built my
00:57:32
reputation on on being a nice person and being kind and being caring and being there for my community and having that
00:57:37
taken away and a heartbeat was it was friggin challenging and that definitely getting through that period it was uh do
00:57:45
I keep doing this I've got a choice right I can keep doing this and keep doing this career or I can give it up
00:57:51
and I refused to give it up and you know I knew I wanted to keep going with this
00:57:55
because I knew who I was and what my message was that I wanted to share and yeah it was it was a very very tough
00:58:02
time but getting through that now just know that anything that comes my way I can deal with
00:58:10
yeah good for you yeah that is rough but it's not the same for everyone and that's why I think I'm so passionately
00:58:14
and why I share trolled comments towards myself and my family and why I'll talk
00:58:19
about these I guess these negative comments is because of what like what you've talked about is that there are
00:58:24
people that will receive it that won't be able to deal with it won't have the
00:58:26
strength and even if it's from someone they don't even know like it might
00:58:29
impact them more than what you'd ever think especially especially especially
00:58:32
worry about like you know school age kids well that's what I was going to say
00:58:35
it was like teenagers and I can't fathom loving my teenage years now with that
00:58:41
social media side as well teenage years were tough right it was hard to navigate
00:58:45
and hard to get through and imagine living that online with the possibility of you know yeah trolling what's
00:58:52
terrible like I'm a I'm a even a generation older than you but so when I
00:58:55
went to school um there were bullies at school and no one no one got off unscathed yeah um but
00:59:00
then you go home and that's your sort of sanctuary yeah and uh you were free from
00:59:04
the bullies for the night until it was the next time now I feel like the bullying is probably even worse when you
00:59:10
get home and you know the teachers aren't around and the kids are in their bedroom on their phones or whatever yeah
00:59:15
and they just feel that sense of I think being hiding behind a phone gives people
00:59:19
a sense of power I have never once in my eight year career had anyone come up to
00:59:24
my face and say anything even remotely negative not once but yet I receive it on a daily basis and that's that's a lot
00:59:31
I've knit like that's where the phrase keyboard Warrior comes from yeah I'm out
00:59:34
and about I'm very social I'm very public I'm very seen I go to you know
00:59:39
what I mean I'm like people could stop me and they off you know often say so
00:59:42
hit the supermarket but no one's ever stopped me and said you're a you're a
00:59:46
[ __ ] and I don't like what you're wearing today you know what I mean but
00:59:49
yeah I'm very happily people all say that online and I think that really shows the power because it you take that
00:59:55
away you take the keyboard away they truly they don't have the strength to say that yeah the the the stuff that you
01:00:02
were talking about before when when things got really tough there's um there's I think there's two things
01:00:07
there's um there's character and there's reputation and they sound like the same
01:00:11
thing but they're actually completely different character is like who you are
01:00:14
and who you know you are and reputation is something that's completely out of
01:00:17
your control which is um seems just so unfair doesn't it that so someone else
01:00:22
can write something about you and then people read it and go well okay well [ __ ] she did that because I read it yeah
01:00:27
that's your reputation but you know your character you know you're a good person
01:00:30
yeah well I never really understood the difference of the toe or you thought there was a difference of
01:00:36
the toe until going through it and you're right you can't do anything about
01:00:40
your reputation and what people choose to perceive you as um and all I can do is just continue
01:00:45
doing what I do and live my life towards true is I love my life and I cannot worry about the opinion of others you
01:00:53
know as long as those in my that know me those I work with those you know that actually have values and matters like
01:00:59
you know I care about their opinion and it seems like you do have good a good sort of inner circle of family and
01:01:04
friends that will call you out on your [ __ ] oh yeah and or always um it did a campaign with Panadol uh and
01:01:28
their whole thing was around basically it wasn't promoting Panadol it was talking about mental health and and ways
01:01:33
to basically improve your mental health and I thought what an amazing thing to do so I was talking about like what you
01:01:37
can do what things that I do to help improve my mental health it was just sponsored by Penn I never really saw it
01:01:42
as like this negative thing but then people Twisted it and said she's promoting Panadol to help with your
01:01:49
mental health and so it just was a it was a big thing it was reported to the NSA and yeah it got a couple of articles
01:01:56
on it yeah well see which now I wouldn't accept a campaign like that but at the
01:02:01
time I didn't see it as a something that could be twisted in a bad way I thought
01:02:04
how cool what a great great thing that they're doing okay well that's I mean
01:02:07
that's a good thing and that's I suppose the next thing I was going to get to
01:02:09
like um like everyone makes mistakes if you're not living a life where you make
01:02:13
mistakes then you're not living a full life at all but I think as long as you
01:02:17
um as long as you can acknowledge them and learn from them and grow from them then I think mistakes are something that
01:02:21
should be like embraced and almost celebrated in a way rather than oh we all well I know I like screw up all the
01:02:27
time and that's okay and I learn from those mistakes you know and I've never
01:02:31
ever claimed to be perfect I don't want to ever be perfect it's not who I am you
01:02:35
know and I think those mistakes and along my whole life whether it's my career or just shitty things that I've
01:02:41
done have you know really formed me into who I am today I feel like you've had
01:02:45
more I don't know maybe more scrutiny than most because like you're the you're
01:02:49
you're the the top of the pyramid I suppose what I mean by that is that's
01:02:52
like um um every every influencer or even even like [ __ ] influencers like me that'll get a campaign every blue moon
01:03:01
um we have to write hashtag ad or hashtag spawn on every post and I feel like you're the reason that everyone has
01:03:06
to do that now and I feel like you were the target at because you were doing more campaigns and getting more work and
01:03:12
having more followers than anyone else is that fear yes it was really interesting when this all happened
01:03:17
um I got pulled out for a few things a few different campaigns where they said I hadn't been
01:03:23
transparent with sharing with it was an ad or not I thought that's interesting I
01:03:27
didn't know that you had to I'd always said gifted hashtag gifted or or spoken
01:03:32
and this was gifted and I remember one of them was a hotel stay with um a company with a few times I was
01:03:38
going to name them but I don't give them any more grief they've been through
01:03:42
enough um and I'd said I'm off to stay with you know here yeah no no don't bring them
01:03:51
into us um bite it in here and you know I can't wait and so I thought that was very
01:03:57
clear and then they said oh you haven't been clear I thought okay that's cool and then they said oh you
01:04:03
can either edit your posts or remove them and I thought well I've done nothing wrong like when one of them was
01:04:09
just wearing um Eamon which is brand I've worked with before for years and years and I hadn't even talked about
01:04:15
them I just had it on my top and so I thought well I'm not promoting them but
01:04:19
anyway this was used as like the the case study that they then wrote guidelines around so there weren't
01:04:25
guidelines I hadn't broken any guidelines but they then used these as the like
01:04:35
which is amazing and it's incredible that there are these rules in place and
01:04:39
that there are guidelines because it was such a wild waste of an industry for so
01:04:42
long and that there was no actual rules no rules right and so that was that was cool that that's done but then what
01:04:49
happened with that is that obviously the media got hold of it and it became this
01:04:53
big she broke this she didn't do this she wasn't being truthful when in reality there was nothing that
01:05:00
nothing there to be you know what I mean upheld against but even though there wasn't rules and regulations I was still
01:05:05
upheld and it was just a learning curve it was you know definitely from then on you sort of think [ __ ] don't want to get
01:05:11
that wrong and you know you learn and grow yeah absolutely it's interesting that
01:05:16
with no guidelines that they can then yeah did that feel like a like a like a witch I'm guessing it did feel like a
01:05:23
Witch Hunt at the time but in hindsight with some of it deserved or oh no it was
01:05:27
a time I couldn't really understand it yeah but they needed to start from a place of somewhere right and it made
01:05:33
sense that they'd start with someone that's doing the biggest advertising
01:05:37
yeah I'm working with the most companies every year so it was just a for them a
01:05:41
good case study right and so now it's just very I've got good communication
01:05:44
with the ASA and they'll send me a message and you know if they deem something as
01:05:49
an advertisement that you know they'll say is this a paid thing and I'll say no
01:05:52
we paid for that and you know we've got good loads of communication now really
01:05:55
you've got a direct line of that's the um advertising standards Authority are
01:05:58
you in direct contact with them oh they've message me after because they I would get reported I'd say every couple
01:06:03
of days so they just need to clear up if something is an advertisement or not or
01:06:07
you know whatever it might be yeah the other day it was for holding a um a mocktail that someone had reported me
01:06:13
for drinking while pregnant promoting and drinking while pregnant so they just needed to clarify that I was
01:06:19
holding a mocktail so does that um I suppose it can't can't bother you but
01:06:23
there's obviously like a a percentage of people that are like hate watching you
01:06:27
like trying to catch you out trying to trip you out oh always but I I quite like because what that does for me is
01:06:33
hold me to a very high standard I really every single thing I post I really have
01:06:37
to think about what the person that dislikes me the most would think or view this and whether it could be taken in
01:06:44
any sort of negative way in terms of like an advertisement that wasn't or me
01:06:47
not declaring or you know so it doesn't make me very accountable very accountable
01:06:57
yeah it's become sick in nature after a while yeah it is um now I put on Instagram that you were coming over and
01:07:02
I asked if there's any any questions some so there was some of the comments were quite mean but there's some like um
01:07:07
oh [ __ ] why are you wasting your time with her sorry but she's a dick the only
01:07:12
words you might get out of her uh hashtag gifted hashtag ad is that a genuine laugh like you can
01:07:20
just oh yeah no idea with this daily though like I think it would be quite different if this was the first time
01:07:25
hearing that but I've dealt with it for five years you know and that's someone's
01:07:29
perspective and that's totally fine they're entitled to that view they may
01:07:32
not like influences or influence as a whole or the whole industry you know or maybe it's just me who knows I don't
01:07:38
know it seems I don't know it seems it seems unfair to me it's like um there's
01:07:43
this thing where politicians are considered to be fear game it's like oh you can say what you want about a
01:07:46
politician it doesn't matter they're politicians but it's like I've um I've
01:07:49
always been like a a right-wing sort of guy but I'm never going to like criticize a you know a left-wing
01:07:54
politician or have a go at them like yeah but that's just who you are right like and how you love your life
01:08:00
um here's a question um how does Simone feel about setting unrealistic expectations for postpartum
01:08:06
woman and contributing to woman's postpartum depression is I don't really understand what that
01:08:11
means is that because you make parenting look like I think that's like what we
01:08:14
talked about before um and I think again everything everyone has their own view on a situation
01:08:20
because of what they're dealing with and I frequently talk about our possession
01:08:25
of privilege and share that and you know I try my hardest to show our journey openly and honestly but what I'll never
01:08:32
do is tailor my version of something to try and Pander to someone else's blends of a situation because that
01:08:40
wouldn't be authentically me I love Parenthood I love being a mother and that's okay but I can openly say I hate
01:08:48
running and you could you know what I mean you couldn't get me to run a marathon if you tried and that's okay
01:08:53
like that's okay to not enjoy something and it's okay to find something incredibly tough but it's also okay to
01:08:58
find a situation enjoyable as well and I'm never going to feel sorry for enjoying motherhood oh no
01:09:05
no no should you either you know I feel like you're um you are very honest so
01:09:09
you're pregnant again you've got another son that seeking son on the way maybe
01:09:12
this one will be completely different maybe this one's gonna be a little tiring but we joke about this all the
01:09:17
time we're like we've had this like three into Parenthood like he is happy
01:09:22
again 10 he barely cries he eats everything put on his plate we're gonna have a second child that's just gonna go
01:09:42
I'll talk about that if that happens yeah but I can't pretend like this this
01:09:48
and it's also it's been one I've I've got to just have all this time in this world
01:09:53
with this one little human now I'm gonna have to split my time it's going to be a
01:09:56
very different experience you know someone else on Instagram said how does she feel how does she feel when she does
01:10:03
work for a brand and then the brand apologizes to its followers for using her as she doesn't actually use the
01:10:09
Brand's morals and ethics it happened in the last week with fear and good I just
01:10:13
wonder if she cares about that sort of thing or if it's just work to her anyway
01:10:16
this will be a great chat go Dom oh thank you I think it's in that position there's two you've got this group of
01:10:25
people that very much dislike you and they are working their hardest to stop relationships and to try and change
01:10:31
relationships with Brands and like you're saying to tarnish your reputation so you're saying as soon as you put a
01:10:36
post up with a brand and they will reach out to that brand and say do you know who they are do the brands
01:10:44
ever send you the person's name and oh often yeah is it a core group of people
01:10:48
yeah yeah there's a core group and you know her that because they'll just slip and they'll leave their names
01:10:53
and emails and stuff and friends will send it through but like you know these people are their life is dedicated to
01:10:59
trying to stop your career and and that is just part of what I deal with on a daily basis so I I guess initially it
01:11:06
was it was a tough thing to navigate and it felt a very strange thing to navigate
01:11:10
but now I have very open Communications with my Brands they they know pre that this is going to happen it's they've
01:11:17
already you know they're aware of the situation it's not something that's
01:11:20
hidden from them they're not 20 people aren't going to message them afterwards it's going to be a shock it's
01:11:25
this is this is the reality of working with me and you know yay or nay and they'll you know yeah yeah well it
01:11:32
doesn't seem to be doing you doing any harm it's still you look at your look at
01:11:36
those little dashes on your Instagram story there's a lot of Brands yeah different brands that won't be great
01:11:41
alignments and that you know like don't don't necessarily work and don't fit
01:11:45
with with your page but that's just natural and that has evolved over the years anyway you know yeah
01:11:51
some of these are so Random I'm sorry and I I don't know I guess I I don't I
01:11:56
don't follow you as until there's some other people so I don't know about a lot
01:11:59
of stuff but um why does she own her own active wear that she hardly wears and also promotes five other active weird
01:12:05
Brands imagine Nike promoting Adidas five laughing crying emojis so my stance on this is that there is not one
01:12:12
activewear brand is going to suit one person for the rest of their life uh every single body every single shape
01:12:18
every single person is so different and I like to show a variety of activewear Brands to my audience because they're
01:12:24
not all the same body shape they're not all the same size they don't all like
01:12:27
crazy patterns some of them like planes some of them like yoga feel I like to show a variety it's you know I would
01:12:34
never wear one brand of clothing I never wear one brain of act where I'm wearing
01:12:37
aim and tights right now and I own a brand called Embrace we're all creating
01:12:40
their very different things I think there's enough room in the market for everyone to succeed and for everyone to
01:12:45
thrive and that's why I share different brands because I just think there's
01:12:48
enough space for everyone to to smash it so I'll find that a good answer that seems perfectly reasonable
01:12:54
but the business in the messages place and they're going oh yeah probably got paid to say that yeah
01:13:01
um I'd love to not sponsored I'd love to yeah she got that cleared with her
01:13:05
friends at the advertising standards yeah I'd love to hear um hear something on on her views about
01:13:12
toxic positivity she has an absolutely beautiful son he always sleeps he's never sick eats everything the list goes
01:13:18
on Simone uh uh also doesn't tell people that he's been in daycare for about a
01:13:24
year so it really gives an illusion of being able to juggle at all I really feel like it has such a negative impact
01:13:28
on people who are struggling being real is okay I feel like you touched upon that before
01:13:32
you said he goes to daycare yeah I I feel like this is something we've been very open with that I've he hasn't
01:13:38
really got that second this first year when he has he's had a tummy bag I've
01:13:42
shared it like I I definitely share the the sticky parts and I talk about it but
01:13:47
I'm also because I'm a naturally positive person the positivity outweighs
01:13:53
the negative I don't dwell on shitty things I don't sit there and my Channel's not negative I'm not gonna
01:13:58
talk about all the crappy things that happen in a day because that's not where
01:14:02
my focus is and that's not where I want my focus to be for me toxic positivity I
01:14:08
can't even say and when you don't acknowledge any negativity I share a lot
01:14:12
of low points in my life I talk I'm vulnerable with my grandparents in their
01:14:16
health right now and what we're going through and you know different situations and I'm open to that and then
01:14:22
I get slaughtered for she's sharing that for clout or yeah to try and sympathy
01:14:28
you know so you can't win whatever you do but I'm a very very naturally positive person I always have been and
01:14:35
I'm again like I'm saying not going to apologize for that some people glass
01:14:39
half full glass half empty it's just you know it's not me I like to focus on the
01:14:44
gosh and I feel like because of that it sort of attracts more positivity of my life and I'm not you know yeah and I
01:14:50
suppose what you do for a lot of people is escapism like the amount of dashes you have on your story if that was on
01:14:54
some Debbie Downer who would want to sit through that yeah and our Pages there that are like there are four pages
01:15:00
dedicated towards and I'll share this if someone ever messaged me this towards
01:15:04
the tough points of motherhood there are Pages where they write poems about you know the trenches of motherhood and
01:15:09
where if that's what you need to feel less alone in your motherhood Journey that's what you can find but for me I
01:15:16
like to watch pages that inspire me that motivate me that make me feel really happy in a day and that's what I try and
01:15:23
make my content is just uplifting I want someone to watch my stories and have a laugh and have a you know a little
01:15:29
giggle and yeah I'll share some [ __ ] stuff and I'll cry online very openly
01:15:32
I'm not someone to hide my emotions but the majority of what I want people to
01:15:36
see is just yeah it's a little bit of like that what had their coffee in the
01:15:40
morning yeah and they have a giggle oh yeah their lunch break at work yeah you know yeah there was um I know exactly
01:15:48
are you gonna say oh there's a story I read online um this is great so a couple of weeks
01:15:54
ago I don't know where it was do you know where it was printed first it's something called I only know
01:16:00
because I got it sent through so many times I thought it was spam and I didn't
01:16:03
want to click on it because I thought they're going to hack my Instagram account if I click on the slang but
01:16:07
something called the divorce Diaries on I think I read it on stuff but yeah where it was originally right they
01:16:13
brought it up but I think it was something like yeah so so a lady found out her husband
01:16:19
was um being unfaithful by watching one of your Instagram stories so what was that you're you're in a park somewhere
01:16:26
well I I don't know the situation right I only read what I read through her story but I'm also what I try and do on
01:16:33
my Instagram series is not show the public either in the background obviously so they might be blurred in
01:16:38
the background or like in the but I'm never gonna put a camera up to someone
01:16:42
else's face that's hasn't agreed to be in videos or stories different at a PR
01:16:46
event where you're all there for a purpose but in your day-to-day when we're out at a park everyone's basically
01:16:51
you cannot recognize right they're so far in the background but someone did someone recognized their husbands and
01:16:57
with a lady from his work and the reason she recognized her husband is not because she recognized her husband is
01:17:02
because she recognized the dress of the co-worker because they'd had a conversation about this dress that came
01:17:07
from Peru so she goes I know exactly who that is and then she recognized her husband and what were they doing in the
01:17:12
background like it was a path in the middle oh yeah wow what a yarn no if I believe it
01:17:27
yeah someone's ridden it um the the I I mean I I I put up the you coming in and
01:17:32
there were so many questions for you and um most of them were about one thing now
01:17:36
before we sat down you said there's just one thing that you don't want to talk
01:17:39
about um and you've got reasons for that but that's what most of the questions were
01:17:43
about yeah is there is there anything we can say about that that matter or not touched on that a bit earlier but at the
01:17:49
moment with the court case right now hopefully in April once it's all done but it keeps getting pushed out so who
01:17:56
knows our fingers crossed you know it'd be something I'd love to chat about yeah
01:18:00
I fully understand that and I fully respect that and I feel like anyone that's listening to this
01:18:05
that noise about it will will know what it's about and other people won't but
01:18:09
like is there anything you can say like that not not everything is what it seems
01:18:13
or were mistakes made that you look back and you you know you realize and you'd
01:18:18
never do again or that's one of those things where you've been painting it a
01:18:23
lot and people have chose that narrative because it suits their narrative and that's it you know it's just and you've
01:18:29
got no control over how people view or perceive you in that situation and I stop trying to care or try it's like we
01:18:36
were talking before character versus reputation totally and it's like that's
01:18:39
people have chosen and to view you in that way because that's what suits their
01:18:43
narrative right and it's how they want to view you and that's I can't change
01:18:46
that it's so difficult though when there's nothing you can do to defend yourself
01:18:52
I don't know I've just like I said you have to focus back on you and your life
01:18:56
and the life you're living day to day because if I worried about the opinions
01:19:00
of everyone else well if we all did if we worried about the opinions of other people you'd be miserable in your
01:19:06
day-to-day constantly because you're going to get judgment from everywhere and everything you do in life yeah okay
01:19:12
so that that ends because they're going going to court I know you can't talk
01:19:16
about the specifics of it but what's is that going to draw like a Line in the
01:19:19
Sand yeah fingers crossed yeah yeah it'll be awesome because it's going through yeah a big case with someone
01:19:25
yeah oh fantastic because there is that saying my mum used to say the truth always comes out but it feels like in
01:19:30
life sometimes the truth doesn't always come out which can be painfully difficult yeah so people will still and
01:19:36
I can guarantee this no matter what the outcome of this even if it was in my favor people will still have the same
01:19:43
narrative as before because that's what they choose to believe you know so it
01:19:46
won't change it for some people but I will know my truth why no major yeah you
01:19:51
know and you're okay with it like we've as we talked about before everyone's
01:19:54
made mistakes but this is not one of your mistakes totally yeah yeah oh it's been great having you here today
01:20:00
oh it's been so fun yeah has it been fun yeah yeah you're right you are just
01:20:04
relentlessly positive and um I feel like you you wouldn't have changed I feel
01:20:08
like even where do you think you'd be now like say you didn't didn't make that
01:20:12
decision to get that twenty thousand dollars and get that best gastric bypass thing do you think you'd be dead now
01:20:17
really very unhealthy yeah unable to leave the house yep that's not a huge Precinct health issues definitely
01:20:28
still happy that we had to be happier at that point I think I you know I was getting to the point where my day-to-day
01:20:34
was starting and I think why I felt such a drive to change is my day-to-day was suffering you know things as simple as
01:20:40
getting in and out of cars and like friends will go to the beach I'd have to
01:20:44
say no to go into the beach because I've hit a tiny two minute walk to the beach
01:20:48
or you know anything like that so I was starting to say no to a lot of things which definitely shuts off your
01:20:53
happiness in life like there's no way you can be locked at home in your own bedroom doing nothing feeling great yeah
01:20:59
life in the world yeah you know whether anyone that's at that point it's like um
01:21:04
what we all experienced with level 4 lockdown that becomes life for a lot of people I suppose they just isolate from
01:21:09
society yeah oh totally yeah you would because everything becomes a challenge yeah yeah okay so baby two on the way um
01:21:16
then what is that is that it no more babies no more babies we're done with two two is our little Our Little Dream
01:21:22
number and yeah we're quite happy in that yeah some people will be saying well if she could be guaranteed to have
01:21:27
her daughter's probably would so she could get some new advertisers I have had that
01:21:32
painful honestly but let's do we keep trying for a girl our Dream oh she definitely wants want
01:21:40
the um or there'll be a third one on the way at some point just to you know that'll
01:21:44
be good promotion you do seem quite good at laughing It Off yeah I'm going to take this compliment
01:21:51
yeah I always say whatever I say it's either a good thing or a bad thing because I either got so immune to it
01:21:57
that it's just like I just don't feel it anymore or it's a good thing because
01:22:01
otherwise I wouldn't do it I just said just so we're clear it very much is a
01:22:05
compliment it's I think it's the highest compliment but it's also alarming that
01:22:07
you know it has to get to that point where you you tolerate that much sort of crap or abuse and you have to get to the
01:22:14
point where you laugh it off because that's the only option yeah what is the
01:22:17
only option right and I either give up what I do and call it in which you know it's there'll be a point where
01:22:23
I do just because of just life and you don't want to keep going on but right
01:22:28
now it's a choice I'm I'm making this choice and yeah because of that sort of
01:22:32
brush it off yeah hello Simone Anderson thank you very much for your time today it's been bloody great oh thank you I
01:22:38
really really appreciate it we've got to get you out for a run at some point
01:22:41
honestly that there's no way um okay we'll take a rain check on this and um when the baby's how old what are
01:22:58
we going six months eight months a year oh give me a year oh you're buying yourself she's like you're in a driveway
01:23:03
I think Dom's not gonna ruin I'll come and I'll give it a go and we'll see but yeah at least
01:23:15
never gonna happen all right I um love you thank you very much for your time today thank you for having me
01:23:20
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