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Base Jumper & Author, Sequoia Schmidt - How Losing Father & Brother in Avalanche Inspired Her

September 18, 2024 / 01:30:02

This episode features Sequoia D'Angelo Schmid discussing her childhood in Hawke's Bay, her experiences with BASE jumping, and the impact of her father's and brother's deaths on her life.

Sequoia shares memories of her early years, including her connection to radio hosts JJ and Dom, and her family's background in mountaineering. She reflects on her rebellious youth and the challenges she faced, including being in foster care.

The conversation shifts to her career as a publisher and the release of her new book, "Dream of Flight," which explores her relationship with fear through BASE jumping and other aerial sports.

Sequoia discusses the tragic loss of her father and brother in an avalanche on K2, and how that event transformed her life, prompting her to reconnect with her adventurous spirit.

She also touches on her current life, including her husband’s health struggles and her journey through therapy, emphasizing the importance of self-exploration and the healing power of nature.

TL;DR

Sequoia D'Angelo Schmid discusses her childhood, BASE jumping, and the impact of her father's and brother's deaths on her life and career.

Episode

1:30:02

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I'm

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recording you ready here we

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go SE schm welcome to my podcast thanks

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for having me Dum um this is

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embarrassing before we sat down you

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um you you uh no no let me tell it let

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me tell it

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please so I grew up in Hawks Bay and the

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edge was a really popular radio station

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there and I have a very vivid memory of

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being like 11 or 12 years old and JJ and

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Dom was it JJ and Dom or Dom and JJ JJ

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and D us two and Mike P and Mike and

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Mike who I'm seeing like tomorrow oh

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fantastic I'm so excited to see him um

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so yeah so you guys had a radio

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or a radio show and there was one

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particular thing that's like burned in

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my mind was that on the show you used to

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do this thing where somebody would go to

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the toilet and would pee and they'd hold

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the phone up and you'd count how many

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seconds they peed for what was it tinkle

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tinkle tinkle Tuesday tinkle Tuesday so

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that is literally burned in my mind from

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childhood I thought it was a it was a

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great radio it was a dollar a second a

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dollar a second most weeks most weeks it

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was less than 50 or 60 bucks that you

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pay for I think we ended up stopping it

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cuz we got scammed cuz someone had like

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a massive bottle and just it just kept

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on going it was yeah oh and the the um I

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feel awkward about that now like I'm

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sort of squirming in my seat a little

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bit because um we'll get into this with

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this is all part of the fabric of your

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amazing story of your life um but you

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went off the rails pretty badly after

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that and I'm wondering if it's what you

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were listening to on the radio exactly

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it was the it was all all you guys if it

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wasn't for your radio show I would have

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had a nice normal life no childhood

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trauma it would have been just fine okay

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let's go okay yeah I'm removing myself

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from all responsibility okay hey um

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welcome back first of all um yeah

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connection to New Zealand do you feel

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like a kiwi I do yeah I mean I was born

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in Napier and I was born and raised in

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Hawks Bay for the most part like most of

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my childhood that I remember was

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predominantly in either Tia Wong or

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Hastings um

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and yeah I left for like quite a while

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before I came back

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um I came back for my first book tour

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and that was kind of like a

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jarring way to return I mean like I came

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back and like cycled the whole country

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that was like my return back it's like I

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want to smell it and sweat in

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it and that was my return back um but

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yeah it's so funny because like to

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Americans I'm not an American because I

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have like a little bit of a twang to my

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accent and to kiwis I sound so American

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so American yes that's a so your parents

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are are American so my mom's Italian

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Aman my dad's um German ameran and then

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they moved over here before I was born

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like because your mom got invited to

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move here by a m tribe yes so she was

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originally working in Australia with um

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with an Aboriginal tribe there and then

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she was invited to work with Niti kahun

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Nunu iwi and she was a choreographer for

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kah

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the dance company and so like there's

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pictures of like well she's pregnant

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with me she was choreographing um for

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kahurangi so that's how the citizenship

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happened that's how they moved to New

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Zealand so they moved here before I was

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born is your middle name m yeah yeah and

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it means um like break Break of Dawn or

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start of day or yeah or SL of dawn Kima

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cuz I was born at 606 in the morning so

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right as the sun was coming up and um

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yeah the huata family was really close

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to us and so uh they gave me my my

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middle name [ __ ] that's cool and and

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what's what's theoa is that the is that

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a national park yeah it's like the

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tallest tree in the world um and yeah

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there's also a national park and uh yeah

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and SM it's

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just no explanation required so so how

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does it feel when you come back home to

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New Zealand now like is it painful is it

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happy is it no it's super happy yeah I

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always forget how small the country is

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like it's a small small country not if

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you're riding it on a bike no not if

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you're riding it on a bike that's for

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sure no not just physically like it's

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actually um just just in the media like

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for example I was at the am show this

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morning and like one of the guys who was

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in The Newsroom was one of the reporters

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for the show Sunday that after my dead

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and brother passed away I was in

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California and they sent a reporter

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there to interview me and do a two-part

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special for Sunday and he was that

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reporter and so it's so it's such a

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small world in the sense that like

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everything's so interconnected same

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thing like Hawk Bay is Tiny like in

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terms of like once you've been in bigger

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cities and stuff places like Hawks Bay H

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like everybody knows everyone like it's

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a small place know it is it is small I

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was down there for a wedding a few

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months ago staying at um craigy Range

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yeah and I end up like going for a run

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to from craigy range to Hastings and

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around Hastings and then back again like

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it's very small it's very small very

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runnable the community is like super

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tight like you were saying that you know

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I was a naughty kid right so let me

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emphasize this story with I was a

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naughty kid but like oh no we'll get to

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that a whole card called childhood oh

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[ __ ] but like just to give you an

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example of how small Hastings was I got

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caught I used to steal from the watery

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FY all the time like yeah I can't

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believe you call it the watery FY that's

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amazing like I used to steal from there

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all the time and like one time when I

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stole from there it was it was the

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police came and got me and cuz they knew

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me pretty well by then and they came to

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get me and by the time we to we went

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like you know I don't know a kilometer

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to get to my house to drop me off my dad

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already knew because the neighbor had

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seen me in the cop car earlier like

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that's how small the town is right get

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away with J sh can't get away with

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anything so you you get a lifetime ban

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at the way house or you I did but I

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walked in there like during my second

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book tour I walked in there um and one

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of and I was like really sketched out I

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like had a hat on and I was like oh my

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God they're going to like never let me

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inside the way get but of course they

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like they didn't even notice in fact one

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of the guys on the checkout counter like

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recognized me from my book door so my

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God that's amazing Oh Come the amount of

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theft at those places you would have

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been very low level I was very low level

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yeah um so you you got a new book out uh

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dream of flying which is about Basse

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jumping yeah dream of flight yep so base

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jumping that's where you have this you

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look like like a flying a

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squirrel um yeah so Basse jumping is

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just jumping off of any fixed object

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yeah so it's an necron what what is it

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yeah so building yeah building is

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B um yes one from four antenna a

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building antenna and then s is spin so

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that's like a bridge of some kind um and

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Earth so it's just just an acronym for

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those four things so jumping off of any

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of those four objects is BAS jumping but

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the book in its in its entirety is about

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more the experience of human flight and

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like confronting fear and my

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relationship with fear so it goes the

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Basse jumping is a part of it obviously

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but it also goes through skydiving it

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goes through Wing suiting it goes

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through um you know paragliding speed

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riding like a whole different types of

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aspects of human flight including you

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know being in a wind tunnel Russia and

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things like that so it's it's really

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just a exploration of my relationship

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with my own fear like that's most of my

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like my second book isn't about cycling

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around New Zealand it's just the the

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main storyline is around yeah it's the

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backbone but really it's about like an

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emotional Journey what what are your

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fears um so when I noral

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fears when I started that particular um

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story you know it was 8 years ago now um

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and I had I had a fear of trusting

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myself and my own abilities um and you

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know it started with a bungee jump when

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I was really young um in TPO actually

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and um the fear that I felt in that and

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then my first Skydive the fear that I

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felt with that and then deciding to get

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my skydiving license and then it became

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a fear of not just the activity that

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that I'm doing but it became a fear of

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trusting my own instincts my own

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abilities um and navigating my way to

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mitigate the situation and the risk as

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much as possible but potentially get

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myself out of a gnarly situation yeah so

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yeah so you you were a sky jumper so you

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did like 250 jumps or something and then

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you started bass jumping yeah I had

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about 250 skydives before I started bass

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but you're still like even when you're

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bass jumping you're still skydiving you

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know there yeah so so you have that suit

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on the wing suit so wing suit is

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something that you put on right so like

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you can wing suit skydiving which I do

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or you can wing suit Bas jumping which I

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have not done and there a lot of people

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who wing suit base um generally you

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learn how to Basse jump first and then

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you there's a series of steps that

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happen like you put on um a two-piece

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suit and like a sausage suit so so in

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the book you know I'm I'm in Europe and

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I've got a suit on that would be the

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two-piece suit and that suit inflates to

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help give you lift and glide um and then

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from the two-piece suit you can either

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go to like a onesie where you um your

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legs are connected like a wing suit but

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your arms are free or you can go

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straight into a Wings suit and then same

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thing in the sky you can do it with you

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know a squirrel suit on um or a phoenix

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F or any of the other squirrels just a

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brand um or you can do it with a

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two-piece suit or you can do it with a

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onesie or you can do it slick with with

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no type of suit on at all and so there's

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so many different navigations it's so

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funny when people talk about

00:10:45

like skydiving or base

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jumping um it's kind of like

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saying uh climbing right like there's so

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many facets to climbing so if I just say

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skydiving that's that encompasses the

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whole thing and it entirety just like

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climbing encompasses the whole thing but

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if you look at the facets within

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climbing you have ice climbing rock

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climbing Mountain nearing like free solo

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right tread Climbing Gym climbing like

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there's a whole bunch of different

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facets within it and same thing goes for

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skydiving right you have free flying you

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have Wing suiting you have um uh

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tracking you have there's multiple

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different facets within it same thing

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for Bas jumping there's multiple fa so

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that's a that's a whole separate a whole

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separate I I guess it's just this

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natural sort of intrigu of curiosity cuz

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it's something that um [ __ ]

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99.999% of us would never do yeah and

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for anyone that does it it's just this

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Intrigue because we just I suppose

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naturally assume you've got a Death Wish

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um which I mean to be fair like yeah

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there are a lot of jumpers who do I I

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did this as an exploration of what I was

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interested in what I wanted to do what I

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wanted to write about most people and I

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am definitely not even close to the most

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experienced jumper out out there there's

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people who dedicate their entire lives

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to this Sport and this activity and that

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is their everything and it encompasses

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everything within them and yeah sure

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I've met a lot who have death

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wishes I'm not going to deny that I feel

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like that's a cop out thing to say

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because anyone anyone that does it

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doesn't really want to die maybe they

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enjoy the exhilaration of feeling close

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to death but yeah they they don't it's a

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cop out sort of it can be yeah I mean I

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think that there's a very fine line

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that's walked in that world that can get

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extremely dangerous um and you know

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everyone has a different exploration

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explanation for their exploration of it

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and a lot of it depends on like the

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person that you're talking to because

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two jumpers are not alike there's

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there's a lot of differences between

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jumpers so if if it was legal if you

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were allowed to could you go to the jump

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platform on the sky tower in Oakland

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just using this as a reference point

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because it's something most people

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listening to this will better um yeah

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relate to could you jump off that in one

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of your suits or whatever with a with a

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skyd backpack on and land safely on the

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ground yeah so it would be a base jump

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you wouldn't be wearing a suit because

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it's too low there's no point the suit

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just gives you lift and glide and you

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wouldn't need that for something like

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Sky Tower um and yeah Sky Tower would

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make a great jump because you're trying

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to avoid like you know you don't want

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power lines and things like that which

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it doesn't have I was scouting it

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earlier so it doesn't have um but

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there's like a nice landing area and

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everything like that and there's people

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who specialize in this particular thing

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this guy named Jamie Crawford who's like

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in Los Angeles and San Diego and he just

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all he does is Jump Urban which is like

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um you know buildings and stuff like

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that but it that part of it gets a

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little tricky because it's not exactly

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legal so um that's not me I'm not

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interested in that stuff I have a

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company to R so I have to be like a

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little bit careful on what I jump you

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got to think about the Optics um jez it

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wouldd be great promo for the book

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though wouldn't it cheeky

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arist a cheeky arist yeah my public is

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wouldn't be very happy about that one um

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but this is how you metet your husband

00:14:04

as well he he's a b jumper he was like

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an instructor yeah yeah yeah so he

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instructs he teaches people how to jump

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and that's how we met um I was a jumper

00:14:12

before I met him like I had started

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Basse jumping already um but yeah that's

00:14:17

how we met and fell in love yeah we'll

00:14:19

get to that we get to that later it was

00:14:20

very very quick courtship like two weeks

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before you got engaged yeah like really

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seems like you rush into a lot of things

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um but and and you guys even move to

00:14:29

Idaho so you could be near like a base

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jumping Bridge yeah there's a bridge

00:14:32

there so he coaches Bas jumping so how

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high is the bridge um 486 I think 4

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elevation 48 486 yeah meters uh feet

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feet yeah also like 150 M about that

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yeah so you jump off there

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yeah it's good training cuz like when

00:14:52

you're on a span I thought High the

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higher you are would be better training

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like there's more chance to yeah it can

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be I mean like this particular one is

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you know like we're talking about the

00:15:02

different facets like one of the facets

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is lower objects right so this

00:15:05

particular one's good because it's got a

00:15:07

great landing area and if you you know

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if your parachute has a 180 you can turn

00:15:11

around and go to the landing area and so

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um it's a perfect place to coach and

00:15:16

that's what he does is he trains people

00:15:18

how to base jump all right hey thanks

00:15:21

for that

00:15:22

explanation feels like this is a whole

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separate

00:15:25

podcast so let's um why the CL back go

00:15:28

back to your childhood um you're born in

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um Hogs Bay um your dad's your dad's

00:15:34

quite famous in mountaineering C circles

00:15:36

yeah yeah Marty Marty Schmid and had an

00:15:39

obsession with K2 he did yeah what's the

00:15:43

obsession he he's climbed everist uh

00:15:45

numerous times right yes why the so K2

00:15:48

is not as high as Everest why is K2

00:15:50

considered you know so

00:15:54

mysterious why is it so much more

00:15:56

difficult lot of like there was like

00:15:57

this saying years ago that like like um

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you climb Everest you're a climber to

00:16:02

the world you climb K2 you're a climber

00:16:05

to climbers um and so you know I think

00:16:08

that it's very appealing to a lot of

00:16:10

climbers it's a beautiful mountain it's

00:16:12

super

00:16:13

striking uh I can understand why he was

00:16:15

so obsessed with it to be fair that

00:16:17

saying was

00:16:19

made quite a while ago and a lot has

00:16:21

changed in mountaineering since then um

00:16:24

now that there's a lot more teams and a

00:16:26

lot of fixed lines and stuff like that

00:16:28

on K2 so it was very different

00:16:30

atmosphere when when I grew up um when I

00:16:34

grew up it you know the K2 was the Holy

00:16:37

Grail of mountaineering so I think

00:16:39

that's part of the reason he was

00:16:41

obsessed with it yeah yeah and what are

00:16:44

your Recollections of your um your early

00:16:46

years sounds like your dad was um away a

00:16:47

lot like nine months of the year you

00:16:50

mean other than JJ and Dom playing

00:16:53

Tinkles is that that came later that

00:16:57

came later um but yeah he's he sounds

00:16:59

like um an intriguing dude sort of happy

00:17:02

energy always topless um homemade

00:17:04

sandals all of that yeah um tomato Peak

00:17:07

is a huge one in my memory it's so funny

00:17:09

I went back up there during my second

00:17:11

book tour I think it was you have clim

00:17:12

Mountain

00:17:13

yeah yeah so he used to always teach

00:17:16

climbing classes up there so that was

00:17:18

really early in my memory yeah but you

00:17:20

had you had a great relationship with

00:17:21

both your parents early on early on yeah

00:17:24

yeah I kind of left home quite young and

00:17:28

like rebelled against everything to do

00:17:30

with that and found business and um

00:17:34

started my company and it wasn't until

00:17:36

after they died that I kind of went back

00:17:38

into the adventure space yeah yeah yeah

00:17:41

cuz there was um yeah I've done like

00:17:44

quite a bit of digging into your story

00:17:45

so there was um so your dad was you

00:17:47

loved your dad but your dad was away a

00:17:49

lot so it wasn't often there is is that

00:17:52

CU it seems like you sort of had a chip

00:17:54

on your shoulder with your dad was that

00:17:55

sort of why no I don't think so I think

00:17:57

that um

00:18:00

look there's something that comes with

00:18:02

and this applies to really any extreme

00:18:05

sport um you can apply this to base as

00:18:07

well there's something that comes with

00:18:10

the personality that's attracted to that

00:18:12

particular world uh and a lot of the

00:18:16

time they have a very different sense of

00:18:19

responsibility than

00:18:21

what normal people would have quote

00:18:24

unquote right because they're there's a

00:18:26

you have to be inherently selfish to do

00:18:30

things like mountaineering or Bass

00:18:32

jumping or anything like that like there

00:18:33

has to be a vein of selfishness to that

00:18:35

but in terms of the time it takes the

00:18:37

time away from home or the risk or what

00:18:39

all of it okay yeah yeah the pure

00:18:41

dedication that it takes um to reach a

00:18:44

certain level in that activity and you

00:18:47

know my father was one of the top in the

00:18:49

world um and so I think that I was a

00:18:53

really challenging child cuz I was very

00:18:56

much like him very driven like him

00:18:59

stubborn very strong willed like these

00:19:02

are like all traits I still have right

00:19:05

um soed You Well in business serve me

00:19:07

well in business but yeah I mean in in

00:19:10

general I was like very very similar to

00:19:12

him in many regards and so we you know

00:19:15

as I went into my teenage years like

00:19:18

many teenagers who challenged their

00:19:20

parents um but his answer for it was to

00:19:25

go back to the mountains right so I

00:19:27

think that was something that I

00:19:28

struggled with a lot we had a

00:19:30

conversation before he passed away that

00:19:33

was me trying to tell him like I was a

00:19:35

child you were an adult you were

00:19:37

responsible but obviously that didn't

00:19:38

really work that well yeah cuz the

00:19:40

picture I can get is um he was what

00:19:43

you'd call the cool dead like there was

00:19:44

wasn't a lot of like boundaries or

00:19:46

parenting no there was definitely none

00:19:48

of

00:19:49

that he parented in his own way right

00:19:52

right look like I'm like really I look

00:19:55

back on it I'm like oh I I firmly

00:19:57

believe that we choose our parents

00:19:58

before we come into this Earth and I

00:20:02

think that's a huge part of our human

00:20:03

experience and I wouldn't change it for

00:20:06

a minute his parenting style wasn't um

00:20:09

you know stereotypical conventional or

00:20:11

conventional in any regard whatsoever

00:20:14

but I you know I learned a lot from both

00:20:16

of my parents you go to police care

00:20:19

foster care uh yeah I was in and out of

00:20:21

foster care for a little bit was that s

00:20:23

the beginning of that that was yeah that

00:20:26

was the beginning of that but it lasted

00:20:28

for a little while um and I don't know

00:20:30

if you've ever been a foster home in

00:20:32

Hastings Hastings is

00:20:35

rough Hastings is not like a like yeah

00:20:39

white picket fence kind of life like

00:20:40

Hastings can be rough for sure yeah I I

00:20:43

lived in Hastings for like a couple of

00:20:45

years in the um in the late 1970s but it

00:20:47

was a different place then like it's um

00:20:49

yeah it's it's very rough now and I'm

00:20:51

guessing when you were growing up it was

00:20:52

so you were in foster care because you

00:20:54

know because your your mom wasn't fit to

00:20:56

look after you and your dad was away is

00:20:57

that the or yeah child Youth and Family

00:21:00

Protective Services here CS yeah it's

00:21:03

funny cuz I I'll say Cs and nobody knows

00:21:06

what that means in the stes but um yeah

00:21:08

siths stepped in

00:21:11

um

00:21:13

and yeah I mean I think it was like a

00:21:16

mixture of stuff where it was uh we

00:21:19

would I'd be in the home for a little

00:21:21

bit and then if I was taken out of the

00:21:23

home like if Dad came back from an

00:21:24

expedition or if he went on an

00:21:26

expedition and um he arranged for

00:21:29

somebody to take care of us and then of

00:21:32

course I was a super naughty kid so I'd

00:21:35

sneak out or something like that and

00:21:36

then I'd get in trouble and then CS

00:21:38

would come back and my caseworker would

00:21:39

put me back in a home so it was just

00:21:41

like a lot of on and off of that it's

00:21:43

funny I've like started exploring it a

00:21:45

little bit more as an adult cuz you know

00:21:48

when you deal with stuff like that you

00:21:49

kind of block it all out just to get

00:21:51

through life um then I'm starting to

00:21:54

explore it a little bit more Nowack

00:21:56

everything unpack it all cuz I I I uh

00:22:00

joj and I when we were together we had

00:22:01

like family adoption um yeah one of her

00:22:04

nephews came to live with us when he was

00:22:05

like four years and 11 months old we we

00:22:08

did a lot of therapy on on his behalf

00:22:10

and you learn that um some like 80% of a

00:22:12

brain development's done in the first

00:22:14

thousand days or three years so if the

00:22:15

first three years are um sound and

00:22:18

relatively normal then you know you're

00:22:20

going to be pretty much all right yeah

00:22:22

um your your first few years okay I

00:22:25

think so I mean yeah were you yeah I'm

00:22:28

not twitching too bad like I I yeah I

00:22:32

mean I I believe so my my mom tried to

00:22:35

be a really really good mother and there

00:22:36

elements to her that were an incredible

00:22:38

mother that's why I said like I'm a firm

00:22:41

believer you pick your parents and I I

00:22:43

picked wonderful parents they just

00:22:45

weren't conventional parents in any way

00:22:47

whatsoever but if I look at my life and

00:22:50

how it shaped out I'm pretty good with

00:22:53

it that's great those um yeah so the

00:22:56

Foster Kier experience was that

00:22:59

I don't remember a lot of it to be

00:23:01

honest like and I talked to a trauma

00:23:03

therapist um like just a few weeks ago

00:23:06

actually just because I'm like looking

00:23:07

at exploring a lot of that stuff um

00:23:10

maybe for another book um like but um

00:23:15

yeah I mean I don't remember there's a

00:23:17

lot of I think everyone has that do you

00:23:20

remember all of your childhood no no no

00:23:23

like a lot of it kind of gets blocked

00:23:25

out I think um so that's a lot of my

00:23:29

childhoods I don't I literally don't

00:23:31

remember a lot of it You' do fun with

00:23:33

writing I've written some books mine are

00:23:35

mine are shitty books that you know

00:23:37

nothing like yours but when you start

00:23:39

writing often it triggers off like it's

00:23:41

almost like a snowball that's why I do

00:23:43

it it's so up other memories yeah and

00:23:46

then it's also just such a fun time

00:23:48

capsule like my style of writing

00:23:49

non-fiction narrative it is not a

00:23:51

literary Masterpiece in any regard

00:23:53

whatsoever I'm a publisher I work with

00:23:55

literary people like I'm not one of them

00:23:57

I just like

00:23:59

capturing my you know time on this Earth

00:24:01

it's a cool time time capsule like that

00:24:04

trip to Pakistan I took when I was

00:24:07

working on finishing this lost book I

00:24:08

opened that first book and I was like oh

00:24:11

[ __ ] I don't remember any of this this

00:24:12

is so cool like I can read back on what

00:24:15

the curry tastes like and like what the

00:24:17

peak look like and stuff that I wouldn't

00:24:19

remember you know so it's really nice to

00:24:22

have that kind of cathartic Time Capsule

00:24:24

yeah for sure so how did you end up in

00:24:26

Australia when you're were a teenager I

00:24:28

went to a performing arts high school I

00:24:31

like applied to a performing arts high

00:24:33

school and I really just I think I just

00:24:35

really wanted to get out of the

00:24:37

situation that I was in so were you you

00:24:39

know Foster here over there or no I

00:24:41

emancipated so I was legally allowed to

00:24:44

be on my own so where were you living

00:24:47

who think I was 14 maybe 15 that's

00:24:49

that's alarming though you're so young

00:24:50

right you must look back now how old are

00:24:51

you now 303 33 yeah yeah what do you

00:24:56

think when you look back on that now

00:24:58

that's crazy yeah I mean to be honest

00:25:00

I'm like really

00:25:02

impressed oh I'm going to [ __ ] cry

00:25:04

I'm like really

00:25:06

impressed if I heard my life story I'd

00:25:09

be like

00:25:10

[ __ ] impressed like what at your

00:25:12

survival and St yeah like I'm really

00:25:16

impressed I made it out through all of

00:25:17

that bring out the tissue box 27 minutes

00:25:21

on yeah you did Bloody grain I I don't

00:25:23

know if you want to talk about this or

00:25:24

not but you you you you got pregnant

00:25:26

over there at 15 yeah yeah

00:25:29

mhm yeah that I suppose like like you're

00:25:32

terminating it was just like a

00:25:34

no-brainer like it was the only option

00:25:36

at that age and stage of Life yeah I

00:25:39

think you know I was so young um yeah I

00:25:43

got a call from my dad and was like all

00:25:45

right time to get an

00:25:47

abortion so yeah yeah um yeah thanks for

00:25:52

being so open yeah it's I mean it's

00:25:55

really like it's really impressive like

00:25:57

you know to you know the the the woman

00:25:59

that's sitting in front of me now and

00:26:00

everything you've achieved with you know

00:26:02

what youve you've been through and

00:26:04

survived and enjoyed it's [ __ ] cool

00:26:06

yeah it's really cool yeah I think you

00:26:08

should be proud of yourself even though

00:26:10

your life to a lot of people like with

00:26:11

the Bas jumping and whatnot seems

00:26:12

chaotic now it's I suppose it's

00:26:14

Controlled Chaos now yeah yeah mitigated

00:26:17

chaos for sure yeah I'm choosing which

00:26:20

chaos I allow into my life and which

00:26:22

ones I don't and then um so then you s

00:26:26

sent to live with your granddad in Texas

00:26:28

which was like so this this is after po

00:26:30

opposite world oh I'm skipping out of it

00:26:33

here so um your Dad's second wife um she

00:26:37

tries to discipline you or tell you off

00:26:39

and you you punch her in the

00:26:42

face yeah she was a bit of a [ __ ] she

00:26:46

still she lives in New Zealand so I hope

00:26:48

she listens to this one so you're you're

00:26:51

yes so you come home this in Hawks Bay

00:26:53

you come home late one night yeah you

00:26:55

had a thing that you did where you when

00:26:57

you arrived home no curfew of course you

00:26:59

just tap on your dad's door so he knows

00:27:00

your home's safe and then um she wasn't

00:27:03

aware of this thing so she wakes up and

00:27:05

has a crack at you you um this is like

00:27:09

the first time I ever met her too like I

00:27:11

never even met

00:27:13

her never even matter her she gets up

00:27:16

and starts screaming at me you're like

00:27:19

what nobody disciplines

00:27:21

me give her a nice punch in the face and

00:27:25

then um yeah so then you get sent to T

00:27:28

[ __ ] you must um yeah no then I go to

00:27:31

boarding school oh boarding school that

00:27:33

was right before boarding school which

00:27:35

one um in Australia right okay before

00:27:39

the pregnancy oh good luck you're not

00:27:40

going to last long there are you and

00:27:42

then from there I get sent to Texas yeah

00:27:46

and and this sounds um amazing I I think

00:27:50

I heard this on another podcast you've

00:27:51

done so your granddad who I'm guessing

00:27:53

you didn't even know very well no yeah

00:27:56

so your granddad and his wife Barbara

00:27:58

and he sounds like the the most

00:28:00

incredible [ __ ] guy he was yeah he

00:28:02

was absolutely incredible yeah he was

00:28:05

amazing he passed away um just last year

00:28:08

oh I'm sorry to hear that yeah yeah it

00:28:09

was honestly it was like a really

00:28:13

beautiful um it was a beautiful

00:28:16

experience I've never been able to like

00:28:19

sit by somebody as they're dying before

00:28:22

like and so I spent um a few months with

00:28:26

him shortly before he died

00:28:29

and um it was great I like read to him

00:28:32

every day and played classical music for

00:28:34

him and just got really like good

00:28:37

one-on-one time with him which was ni

00:28:39

yeah CU it seems like it was finally

00:28:41

even though the the ship had probably

00:28:43

already sailed in terms of the age you

00:28:44

were when you got sent there seems like

00:28:46

finally you had this um sort of like Cal

00:28:49

calm in your life and um yeah he he was

00:28:53

like a non-smoker non- drinker but he

00:28:54

even he bought you siggies one day cuz

00:28:56

you were oh he was like the most

00:28:58

straight La person on the planet like

00:29:00

literally the most straight La woke up

00:29:03

every morning put on a suit went to work

00:29:05

like was very you know very Italian

00:29:08

American loyal to his family like a

00:29:11

really good man um and yeah so he

00:29:17

definitely was not like with the naughty

00:29:20

kids he would be like the guy running

00:29:24

the track if we were to kind of condense

00:29:28

our personalities he would be the one

00:29:30

running the track up early at the track

00:29:32

meet and I'd be the one like smoking

00:29:34

behind the bleachers we were just very

00:29:37

very opposite in our personalities and

00:29:39

so when he took me in I think it was a

00:29:40

bit of a challenge for him but he like

00:29:43

was so stable and so secure that it just

00:29:46

gave me that what I needed at that

00:29:49

period of time you his wife wife Barbara

00:29:51

like the first thing she says to you was

00:29:53

oh you smell something like that yeah I

00:29:56

did smell to be fair

00:29:58

they sent him it just it's like a feels

00:30:01

like a wonderful part of your story and

00:30:02

then um he he had a line that he used to

00:30:04

say to you like um you'll always have a

00:30:05

home here or something like that which

00:30:07

I'm guessing after everything you've

00:30:08

been through and the instability and

00:30:10

everything it must have just felt I I

00:30:12

don't did you did you trust it like you

00:30:14

know did you trust it or do you think

00:30:15

this is another adult that's going to

00:30:17

[ __ ] let me down eventually I think I

00:30:18

tested him so many times that eventually

00:30:21

I realized that um yeah I trusted it

00:30:24

like it just took a lot um in the year

00:30:27

that I lived with him a lot you know uh

00:30:30

and then yeah even after I cuz I left I

00:30:34

think I was 17 when I started my company

00:30:36

and I left his house and even after that

00:30:40

I'd go over for Sunday dinners and you

00:30:42

know he was a big part of my life um and

00:30:47

that's I think that's

00:30:49

what even the most unstable or naughty

00:30:54

child needs is just a sense of stability

00:30:56

M you know yeah

00:30:59

you do think

00:31:01

um

00:31:03

yeah I like you know after you did

00:31:06

passed away and actually even before he

00:31:07

passed away do you think um he took on

00:31:08

like a father figure role in your life

00:31:10

would you say my father or my grand

00:31:13

grand yeah oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

00:31:16

he he took on um a sense of

00:31:19

responsibility and stability that that

00:31:22

should come from a parent yeah so so

00:31:25

during that stage when you're in Texas

00:31:27

had you had you s of cut yourself off

00:31:29

this this is when um your dead cut

00:31:31

myself myself off entirely from everyone

00:31:34

yeah just kind of packed up my bags and

00:31:37

got shipped to the states and your Dad

00:31:39

tried to keep in touch with your

00:31:40

biological dad tried to keep in touch

00:31:42

with you but um you redirected his his

00:31:44

emails to your spam folder yeah for many

00:31:47

years yeah I only reconnected with him

00:31:50

um you know we I spent five and a half

00:31:53

almost six years not talking to him at

00:31:54

all um obviously still Denali Denali was

00:31:58

still a huge part of my life I still

00:31:59

talked to my brother constantly and he

00:32:02

would try to encourage me to talk to my

00:32:03

dad but um yeah it wasn't until about a

00:32:07

year before he died that I started

00:32:09

talking to him again and reconnecting

00:32:11

with him yeah and and it was also about

00:32:13

this time you started your own company

00:32:14

yeah uh so you're 16 years old um and

00:32:17

the company's still going today and and

00:32:20

very successfully D'Angelo publishing so

00:32:22

D'Angelo was um yeah you you you you

00:32:25

gave up the Schmid name no I just made

00:32:27

it up I was just like oh really just

00:32:30

made it's so funny it's such a funny

00:32:33

story I literally just made it up I was

00:32:36

just like D'Angelo that sounds cool I

00:32:39

thought maybe it's your your grandad's

00:32:40

name or Barbara oh okay just made it up

00:32:43

so so you became um SE Sequoia D'Angelo

00:32:47

yeah I thought it sounded

00:32:50

cool you know the really funny part

00:32:52

about this whole thing the really I mean

00:32:54

I was [ __ ] 16 like how smart were you

00:32:56

at 16 the really funny part about this

00:32:59

whole thing is like I spelled it

00:33:01

wrong

00:33:03

D'Angelo is an Italian name it's D

00:33:07

apostrophe and I put d i a n g e l o and

00:33:11

this is after I lived in Italy and

00:33:13

everything like I spelled the name wrong

00:33:16

but then I was committed to it I had a

00:33:18

logo I had business cards I had to stick

00:33:20

with it right so I I kept it and then

00:33:24

like four four or five years ago we were

00:33:27

doing our ational copyright registration

00:33:29

and

00:33:30

trademark and we submitted it to them

00:33:32

because we were opening a branch in the

00:33:34

UK and we submitted it to them and the

00:33:37

Trademark Office came back with we

00:33:39

wouldn't usually allow this trademark to

00:33:41

exist for a company because it's a last

00:33:44

name but seeing as it's not spelled

00:33:47

correctly will allow you to have the

00:33:49

trademark yeah a publisher with spelling

00:33:52

issues what could be that's pretty much

00:33:54

my life yeah so was that just like um

00:33:57

like a a [ __ ] you to your appearance

00:33:59

really I think it was yeah I think it

00:34:02

was a you don't get to be associated

00:34:05

with me in any way I'm going to be

00:34:07

successful outside of your name yeah

00:34:09

well you just felt you felt lit down or

00:34:11

abandoned or I just wanted to carve my

00:34:15

own name and my own place in this Earth

00:34:18

You know it's a random thing to do at 16

00:34:22

yeah how yeah how do you go about

00:34:23

starting a company when you're 16 like

00:34:25

where do you even begin um you obvious

00:34:27

you didn't at 16 you didn't plan for it

00:34:29

to be you know be this big publishing

00:34:31

house that it is now no [ __ ] no no you

00:34:34

just couldn't allow yourself to think

00:34:35

that big oh no I definitely thought that

00:34:37

big I

00:34:40

just you don't know where to start I've

00:34:42

always thought that big though like um

00:34:45

yeah I I just don't think that I have

00:34:47

like I don't have

00:34:49

that I don't have that thing that most

00:34:51

people have where something's not

00:34:54

possible or something's not doable or

00:34:55

something's too big I don't have that

00:34:58

I've never had that it's great but it's

00:35:01

also a major detriment right yeah but um

00:35:05

I mean in the thing you put put your

00:35:06

mind to I think you you know you've got

00:35:07

the the stubbornness or whatever you

00:35:09

want to what the attribute you want to

00:35:10

call it as to to do it well why

00:35:13

publishing oh [ __ ] that's a good

00:35:15

question I ask my staff that every day

00:35:17

I'm like why are we in publishing um I

00:35:21

think storytelling is very important I

00:35:23

think that literature outlives us I

00:35:25

think that the oldest form of

00:35:28

storytelling is written form and there's

00:35:32

important knowledge and information that

00:35:33

should be passed down through

00:35:34

generations that's why I do

00:35:37

it yeah and it was quite successful

00:35:39

quite early on no [ __ ] no no no my first

00:35:43

book that I ever published was quite

00:35:45

successful but that was also it took me

00:35:47

years to realize why that was successful

00:35:49

it was also somebody who was really well

00:35:51

known and it was circumstantial and um

00:35:55

the timing was right on it but then no

00:35:57

then I failed for many years after that

00:35:59

many many many years it's still a grind

00:36:02

you don't get into publishing for money

00:36:04

that's for damn sure you don't get into

00:36:05

media for money at all like yeah you're

00:36:08

right right podcasting do podcast they

00:36:10

say yeah I mean it's just in general

00:36:14

like um you know I I have a few other

00:36:17

companies on the side so like I do I

00:36:20

have a real estate development company

00:36:21

and stuff like that and I joke all the

00:36:23

time I'm like I make more money in a

00:36:25

month with my real estate development

00:36:26

company than I do with year with

00:36:28

publishing like that's not why I do it

00:36:30

just for the passion or the love of it I

00:36:33

just think that storytelling is super

00:36:34

important I think there's certain

00:36:35

messages that should be brought to the

00:36:37

world you know yeah well that's cool and

00:36:40

congratulations on the success that that

00:36:42

you've had with that and you continue to

00:36:44

have with that cool yeah it's fun I get

00:36:46

to meet cool people and work with cool

00:36:48

people as you do with things like

00:36:49

podcasts right you get to meet cool

00:36:50

people and oh 100% And it's um yeah just

00:36:54

I I get to have meaningful conversations

00:36:56

with cool people not like um you're from

00:36:58

my radio background it was probably like

00:36:59

similar to like say the am show that you

00:37:01

went on this morning it's S 5 minutes

00:37:03

sitting there if you've got a long

00:37:05

answer I'd be look at my watch like [ __ ]

00:37:07

yeah yeah exactly but this this is a

00:37:09

chance to get to to go deep and really

00:37:11

explore the story which I [ __ ] love

00:37:13

Yeah long form's great I remember when

00:37:15

podcasts start started like popping off

00:37:18

I was like oh this is amazing cuz books

00:37:21

are long for right like we get to tell a

00:37:23

whole story and then if you're promoting

00:37:25

a book you get a two second sound bite

00:37:27

snpp bit of what that story is in this

00:37:29

case that encompassed eight years of my

00:37:31

life you know yeah so let's um move to

00:37:36

K2 and the accident how do you feel

00:37:39

talking about this now you you talked

00:37:41

about it so much it's like an auto pilot

00:37:43

sort of thing is it still tough to go

00:37:45

back yeah I mean I I think it depends um

00:37:49

in the context in which I'm I'm talking

00:37:51

about it obviously so like and there's

00:37:55

one particular event that I've done

00:37:57

every year for the last nine years now

00:37:59

which is a Gala for the nonprofit that I

00:38:02

have um Denali named after your brother

00:38:04

yeah Denali foundation so we have this

00:38:06

like big black tie ball in New York City

00:38:08

every year and so obviously I do a

00:38:12

speech every year and I bring it up then

00:38:16

um and then during a book tour like this

00:38:20

um I'll speak about it but it's

00:38:23

interesting grief is you know it's an

00:38:25

ongoing journey and it's been 11

00:38:27

almost 11 years now you know and

00:38:31

so a huge part of it is like

00:38:34

navigating how I feel in these moments

00:38:38

and through this time period and I'm

00:38:41

okay talking about it I'm not like you

00:38:43

know I'm not in a position where I don't

00:38:45

want to discuss it um I I think that

00:38:48

there's a a lot

00:38:50

of elements to grieving publicly that

00:38:54

have been really helpful and cathartic

00:38:56

to me but also to other people I

00:38:58

remember after my first book came out

00:38:59

that was like one of the first things

00:39:01

that people when I was touring one of

00:39:03

the first things people would do was

00:39:04

come up to me after a reading or a

00:39:06

signing and say like I lost my brother

00:39:08

or you know my dad died tragically or

00:39:10

something and yeah so like a

00:39:12

vulnerability Exchange in a way isn't it

00:39:14

yeah and that's I think that's really

00:39:15

important in society because we're not

00:39:17

really good with death in

00:39:19

general yeah so um for anyone that's

00:39:22

like what what are they what are they

00:39:23

talking about so it was um yeah the 10th

00:39:25

anniversary last year so it's coming up

00:39:27

11 is uh that you lost your dad and your

00:39:30

brother at the same time on in an

00:39:32

avalanche on K2 um I've heard you say

00:39:36

since then um the greatest tragedy is

00:39:38

the best thing that ever happened to me

00:39:40

so funny so many people repeat that line

00:39:43

like it's hard it's hard to see how

00:39:44

that's that's possible to get to that

00:39:46

point why a lot of people repeat that

00:39:49

line back to me I don't even know where

00:39:51

I first said it um but a lot of people

00:39:55

do you regret saying it now because at

00:39:57

all you mean it I 100% mean it but it's

00:40:00

just so hard for people to understand or

00:40:04

grasp that

00:40:05

concept um

00:40:09

because the trajectory in which my life

00:40:12

was going prior to their

00:40:14

death

00:40:17

uh was not one that I would want for my

00:40:20

life so you were like 22 at the time

00:40:23

yeah and I was um the publishing company

00:40:27

had done one book that was predominantly

00:40:29

doing a nightlife magazine I was out

00:40:31

partying every [ __ ] night um I was

00:40:35

just in a a

00:40:37

haze that I would have probably stayed

00:40:40

in

00:40:41

until the end of my

00:40:44

life like you were smoking a lot of

00:40:47

cigarettes alcohol cocaine all of it

00:40:49

yeah yeah doing a lot of drugs like um

00:40:53

yeah I was in a I was in a spiral like a

00:40:55

pretty deep spiral

00:40:57

um I was still managing to work every

00:41:00

day because I'm just dedicated and

00:41:03

driven but I was in a pretty deep spiral

00:41:05

I suppose at that age you can that sort

00:41:07

of living is going to catch up with you

00:41:08

but yeah you can sort of stay out late

00:41:11

at night and bounce back the next

00:41:12

morning in your 30s 40s not so bad yeah

00:41:16

just the the people I was hanging out

00:41:18

with like I wasn't I wasn't curious

00:41:20

about life anymore in the same way that

00:41:22

I was when I was a child or that I am

00:41:24

now um curiosity is a huge part of who I

00:41:28

am and that was stifled during that

00:41:29

period of time and I think if I if I

00:41:32

didn't have a massive tragedy wake me up

00:41:36

and take me out of that situation I

00:41:38

don't know that I ever would have gotten

00:41:40

out of it and

00:41:43

so that massive tragedy brought me back

00:41:47

to my roots and my core which was

00:41:50

adventure and was exploration was

00:41:53

curiosity was um and a need to

00:41:58

understand this life and what the

00:42:00

purpose is and who I am in it and it

00:42:04

took a really horrific tragedy the worst

00:42:08

thing that ever happened in my life for

00:42:10

that to bring me to a point where I was

00:42:14

living a life that I was happy with

00:42:18

again yeah oh that's interesting that's

00:42:20

a great explanation think it you hear

00:42:22

other people say it in different ways I

00:42:24

just don't think most people will say it

00:42:26

as poignantly

00:42:27

like like somebody who goes through a

00:42:29

horrific divorce right and was a

00:42:31

horrible divorce and they were you know

00:42:33

shattered and heartbroken but years

00:42:34

later they're like I'm really glad I

00:42:37

went through that you know that was a

00:42:38

really good thing that happened to me

00:42:40

because it allowed me on a different

00:42:42

journey in my life yeah and I think this

00:42:44

was a line from your granddad somewhere

00:42:45

he said um I think your your dad asked

00:42:47

him once if um you you were ever going

00:42:49

to like talk to him again and your

00:42:51

granded had some line about time which I

00:42:53

thought was really profound um time is

00:42:55

the only judge of that or something like

00:42:57

that which is really cool so um only

00:43:00

time can judge that yeah yeah what is

00:43:02

that only time can judge that

00:43:04

mhm yeah yeah I love that because people

00:43:06

say time's the great healer but it's not

00:43:08

it's not a cure oil is it no I don't

00:43:11

believe so no so so you you weren't um a

00:43:15

mountain climber at the time and neither

00:43:16

was your brother Denali he was he was

00:43:17

loved his art was very good at Art well

00:43:20

he was definitely a climber I mean he

00:43:21

was the youngest person to do um Ali you

00:43:24

know at that time period like he he

00:43:26

climbed a lot they did a first descent

00:43:28

route on Mount Denali his namesake

00:43:30

highest peak in North America um and

00:43:33

yeah he was a climber for sure there's

00:43:35

no question he was a great climber he

00:43:36

was just an artist more than he was a

00:43:40

climber I would say like he wanted to

00:43:42

have his career be in art and his life

00:43:45

be in art he was just very gifted at

00:43:47

climbing right but he he wasn't really

00:43:49

sort of match fit to do K2 he'd been

00:43:51

just graduated top of his class i' would

00:43:54

say he was fitter than most people in

00:43:55

the M right I think there

00:43:57

that was a something I saw in a magazine

00:43:58

article from your mom she said you know

00:44:01

you know he wasn't really his wasn't the

00:44:03

right head space to do the second

00:44:04

highest peak in the world at that time

00:44:06

something like that I mean I don't know

00:44:07

I I think that we have differing

00:44:09

opinions obviously she lost a son you

00:44:11

know she's she's got her own opinion on

00:44:14

stuff but yeah but you your dad had like

00:44:16

this dream of being the first father and

00:44:18

son to yeah so they were doing a double

00:44:20

Ascent cuz they did broad Peak which

00:44:23

they were the first father and son to do

00:44:25

broad Peak and that's right right next

00:44:27

to K2 and then from there they went over

00:44:30

to attempt

00:44:33

K2 right is that is that something

00:44:36

that's done in climbing like I'm just

00:44:37

thinking from like a running perspective

00:44:39

you wouldn't run a marathon and then two

00:44:41

weeks later run another one you sort of

00:44:43

um sometimes yeah sometimes it's done I

00:44:46

have a a good friend Kristen who just

00:44:48

did like back toback multiple mountains

00:44:50

but sometimes it's done like that where

00:44:52

you go in and you're attempting to do

00:44:54

two mountains at once or you're

00:44:56

acclimating on a certain Mount and then

00:44:57

you go to another one yeah and do do you

00:45:01

remember the last conversation you had

00:45:03

with your brother or your dad did they

00:45:04

have a phone there

00:45:06

m

00:45:09

yeah that that one's a little tough I

00:45:12

won't talk about that one that one's a

00:45:14

little tough I had a bit of a tough

00:45:15

conversation with

00:45:17

Dad on on K2 uh no just before they

00:45:21

right yeah yeah so short conversation

00:45:24

long conversation short conversation

00:45:28

wow is this not in one of your books or

00:45:30

anything um I don't think so I don't

00:45:34

know I don't think I I don't think I put

00:45:36

it in any of the books maybe I did I

00:45:39

don't know I've done so many interviews

00:45:41

and talks on it now I'm like you forget

00:45:43

I forget what's what's what I even said

00:45:46

on what yeah you forget I love that with

00:45:48

with the podcast it's like did I have

00:45:49

that conversation with someone like on

00:45:51

the microphone or was it off or was it

00:45:53

off or who knows yeah it's interesting

00:45:55

because I also like you know I laid low

00:45:57

for the last few

00:45:59

years like I haven't done I think I did

00:46:02

like one interview in

00:46:04

2020 I think but since then I've like

00:46:08

laid low you know I've been dealing with

00:46:09

a lot of my grandfather passing um

00:46:13

husband's health issues like I've been

00:46:15

dealing with navigating life a lot um so

00:46:18

I kind of steered clear of having the

00:46:20

book come out this book was supposed to

00:46:22

come out like four years ago have a

00:46:24

wound to bloody Publishers yeah exactly

00:46:27

yell at the Ang what even is that what a

00:46:30

hacker is that okay um all right well we

00:46:33

don't have to focus on that but yeah

00:46:35

like it because of what happened which

00:46:37

was an accident which had nothing to do

00:46:38

with you like are you are you

00:46:39

embarrassed about the last phone call or

00:46:41

no no it's just you know um just a tough

00:46:45

just a tough one just between me and Dad

00:46:47

yeah know okay well that's fair enough

00:46:49

and then so then when do you when do you

00:46:51

hear that there's been an accident and

00:46:53

they they can't can't be found or that

00:46:55

they've been killed I got that call from

00:46:57

a family friend

00:47:00

um when base camp kind of made the call

00:47:04

that that uh a couple Sherpas went up

00:47:07

there and determined that an avalanche

00:47:09

had wiped out the camp so yeah and was

00:47:13

it um was I've had another guy on the

00:47:15

podcast called Adam Adam perori he used

00:47:17

to play cricket for New Zealand and he

00:47:18

climbed Everest he had a he had a like

00:47:21

near-death experience on Everest and he

00:47:23

said the quote is something like the

00:47:24

mountain doesn't know you're an expert I

00:47:25

think it's a m line um was the accident

00:47:30

the Avalanche that killed your your dad

00:47:31

and your brother avoidable or was it

00:47:34

like sloppiness on their part

00:47:37

or it's a tough one I mean K2 is gnarly

00:47:40

it's like you know so even the most

00:47:43

careful climate comes with risk yeah I

00:47:46

mean arguably one of the most if not the

00:47:49

most dangerous mountain in the world

00:47:50

like even you can mitigate all risks

00:47:53

humanly possible but Avalanche will

00:47:56

still work wipe you out there's nothing

00:47:58

you can do with that one you

00:48:01

know that seems like such a [ __ ]

00:48:04

terrifying way to go as

00:48:06

well

00:48:08

like I've got a mate that um took his

00:48:10

own life a few years ago and he he took

00:48:12

it in a like a a very like a very

00:48:15

violent way and whenever I think about

00:48:17

it it just like sends a shatter at me

00:48:18

and I'd imagine it's the same for you

00:48:20

know you thinking about especially with

00:48:22

your familiarity with mountains and

00:48:24

stuff um yeah I oh I can't I just can't

00:48:27

imagine how terrifying that would be

00:48:29

mhm yeah I mean over the course of

00:48:32

almost 11 years now I come to terms with

00:48:36

it yeah so

00:48:40

um yeah that must have been a rough time

00:48:42

and then um then you you weren't uh

00:48:44

welcome back at your dad's memorial in

00:48:46

New Zealand because no I was so pissed

00:48:48

about that so that was because of the

00:48:50

his his his wife at the time of his

00:48:51

death the one that you punched and the

00:48:54

you didn't make a great first impression

00:48:56

but then again make a great first

00:48:57

impression on you either no um yeah so

00:49:00

that must have been that must have been

00:49:01

really [ __ ] hard yeah but it's been

00:49:03

really interesting cuz like whenever I'm

00:49:05

back here I always have his friends like

00:49:07

come up and say oh we wish you were at

00:49:09

the memorial that's been like an ongoing

00:49:12

theme um yeah I feel like they I mean

00:49:15

yeah I just got a message this morning

00:49:17

somebody saw me on the am show like

00:49:19

somebody I never even heard of and this

00:49:20

is the one thing I love about New

00:49:22

Zealand is is so small so I get messages

00:49:24

all the time for people that are like

00:49:27

I know it's been like you know 11 years

00:49:29

since they died but I just wanted to say

00:49:31

I climbed with your dad on Mount Cook

00:49:33

and he like I guess had done some route

00:49:35

on Mount Cook with Dad and was like saw

00:49:38

the am show clip this morning and wanted

00:49:40

to reach out like it's awesome it's

00:49:41

super cool that's a really cool part

00:49:43

about it well when when you get get told

00:49:46

you're not allowed at the memorial why

00:49:47

aren't you just like well [ __ ] you I'll

00:49:50

do what I

00:49:51

want that I think at that point I was

00:49:54

just so like Shattered by everything you

00:49:57

know you got to remember I was like

00:50:00

22 you're still yeah you're you're a bad

00:50:04

[ __ ] for 22

00:50:05

though was it just like the just this

00:50:08

respectful side that kicks in that

00:50:09

you're like I don't want to be involved

00:50:10

in this drama or something like that

00:50:12

yeah I mean I think I knew that I had my

00:50:15

own way to grieve with their losses yeah

00:50:19

um it's also just like you're you're

00:50:23

really Jarred when it's such a sudden

00:50:25

accident um you know going through my

00:50:28

grandfather's death this last year it's

00:50:30

like there's something really beautiful

00:50:31

about the process of leaving this Earth

00:50:33

if it's done in the right way where

00:50:35

you're old and you're surrounded by

00:50:36

people who love you

00:50:38

and but if it's a sudden accident um it

00:50:43

changes the nature of how you

00:50:46

grieve yeah I'd agree with that I think

00:50:48

that's the you know something like um

00:50:50

cancer or any sort of teral illness as

00:50:52

as awful as it is um I suppose the

00:50:56

upside of that is it gives you that

00:50:57

opportunity to you know get your ducks

00:50:59

in a row not leave anything unsa and

00:51:03

maybe have that moment where you know

00:51:04

you're at peace and you've got you know

00:51:06

some of the some of the faces that you

00:51:07

love the most like standing around you

00:51:10

as you depart um

00:51:14

yeah so when when did you when did you

00:51:16

go through the spam folder and read the

00:51:19

emails God it must have

00:51:23

been maybe 2 or 3 years after he died oh

00:51:25

really that long yeah but you you knew

00:51:28

they were sitting there the whole time

00:51:29

or did it just like come back to you

00:51:30

like oh that's right I think after I got

00:51:32

out of my haze of

00:51:34

grief yeah was so the yeah there must

00:51:38

have been like grief for your brother

00:51:39

cuz you you know you you loved him in

00:51:40

the relationship there was fine but you

00:51:42

you dead was it like part was part of it

00:51:45

guilt on your

00:51:46

part or was it just like anger at him

00:51:49

for being not being the dead that you

00:51:51

thought he should be or no no I think

00:51:54

that um

00:51:58

there was a little bit of anger for

00:52:00

obviously my brother was 25 and in the

00:52:03

beginning I felt like you know

00:52:05

challenged by the fact that he was on K2

00:52:08

and that happened um but it was just I

00:52:12

think it's just a navigation of figuring

00:52:14

out

00:52:16

that they just lived a very different

00:52:18

kind of Life specifically my dad and it

00:52:21

took me going into Pakistan finding a

00:52:25

venture in my own right living through

00:52:27

my 20s in a very similar manner to how

00:52:30

my father did um and my brother for that

00:52:33

matter in terms

00:52:35

of determining what our purpose is on

00:52:38

this Earth and what we're spending our

00:52:39

time doing

00:52:41

and yeah took a lot of that to kind of

00:52:43

navigate it yeah what um yeah what was

00:52:47

it like reading reading those

00:52:50

messages yeah I

00:52:53

mean that's a good question I think it

00:52:56

was

00:52:57

by the time I had read them it was a few

00:52:59

years later and I wasn't in such shock

00:53:02

anymore I think if you go through a

00:53:04

tragic accident like that the first year

00:53:06

is like you're so you're so in shock

00:53:10

kind like nothing that you do or say can

00:53:13

be taken um it all has to be taken with

00:53:15

a grain of salt CU you're just in such

00:53:17

shock so it was a few years after that

00:53:20

and I'm glad that I waited that long to

00:53:22

read through them what was the what was

00:53:24

the sort of tone of them uh just check

00:53:26

in on me wondering who I am like I think

00:53:29

that's a huge part of

00:53:31

like you know father who loves their

00:53:34

children it's kind of cool eh like he

00:53:37

never you know he never stooped to the

00:53:40

to the level you were playing at I guess

00:53:42

or I mean you were the child of the

00:53:44

relationship so you know you deserve a

00:53:46

free pass but to be fair you you you you

00:53:49

were completely entitled to have a chip

00:53:50

on your shoulder but the fact that he

00:53:52

was never like H whatever yeah and he he

00:53:55

kept keep

00:53:57

persisting like in hindsight yeah that's

00:54:01

that's pretty

00:54:02

cool yeah and then um so then it's is it

00:54:06

like a year after they die that the the

00:54:08

Facebook thing happens two years two

00:54:11

years mhm so what is so you're watching

00:54:14

some like promotional ad on Facebook no

00:54:17

MH promotional video on Facebook and

00:54:20

then

00:54:22

um yeah just jumped on a plane and flew

00:54:25

to Pakistan and

00:54:27

that became my

00:54:29

first my first experience with big

00:54:32

mountains in the Korum yes so so so the

00:54:35

Facebook thing was um what there's some

00:54:38

line in there about you know this

00:54:40

mountain can kill you or something like

00:54:41

that is that what the line is what's

00:54:44

yeah his name was Mike horn he's like I

00:54:46

don't know this guy from South Africa

00:54:49

and he was doing a climb of K2 and

00:54:54

climbers are very like chauvinistic

00:54:57

some of them are not all of them not

00:54:59

some of them are so he was like you know

00:55:01

showing that the mountain can kill you

00:55:03

if you don't know what you're doing and

00:55:04

then flashed some human body parts so

00:55:08

[ __ ] disrespectful yeah and then were

00:55:10

were you outraged oh I was [ __ ] livid

00:55:13

yeah called around to some of the other

00:55:15

families jumped on a plane went to

00:55:18

Pakistan yeah you're skim wait you

00:55:22

you're skimming over this very quickly

00:55:23

so do you get the video because I've

00:55:25

done you book tours on it and talked

00:55:27

about it a million times um come on but

00:55:31

there be people hearing learning who you

00:55:33

are and hearing your story for the very

00:55:34

first time this is a chance to get a

00:55:36

couple of extra sales for D'Angelo

00:55:38

publishing oh God not anyone will be to

00:55:41

Google it cuz the spelling's all [ __ ]

00:55:43

up um so do do you phone do you message

00:55:47

the owner of the video and get them to

00:55:49

take it [ __ ] down or I think I wrote

00:55:52

him a public note yeah um

00:55:58

and at one point he replied to a press

00:56:01

inquiry I think it was a while

00:56:04

later but yeah no he was just a he's

00:56:06

just a [ __ ] he doesn't

00:56:08

matter yes so so you see you see this um

00:56:11

you see turns out it's not your brother

00:56:14

but you you you think it is and then um

00:56:16

get an emergency Visa go to Pakistan

00:56:18

even though you definitely weren't match

00:56:20

fit you were smoking a pack of daries a

00:56:22

day at this point yeah not doing any

00:56:23

sort of no I was just you know

00:56:26

in a that kind of cloud that I was

00:56:29

telling you about you know what why

00:56:31

didn't you um cuz you did the you did

00:56:33

the tricks that's a big massive trick to

00:56:35

get the Bas I spent 17 days in the Korum

00:56:39

for that yeah why didn't you just

00:56:41

helicopter or something well I didn't

00:56:43

have the money for one helicopter there

00:56:45

is like 30 grand oh okay yeah it was you

00:56:48

know I didn't have the money at that

00:56:49

time yeah um and two like to acclimate

00:56:55

like to heli in you would only to

00:56:57

helicopter into that altitude you'd only

00:57:00

have like an hour and then it gets

00:57:03

really dangerous cerebrala and other

00:57:05

things so you'd have to hel out right

00:57:07

away we needed time to go look for where

00:57:09

the body parts were we didn't know

00:57:10

exactly where they were so the only way

00:57:13

to get in with enough time was to

00:57:15

acclimate Slowly by trekking in and I'm

00:57:18

so glad I did it that way because that's

00:57:21

the way that really kind of opened my

00:57:24

eyes to what the world

00:57:27

holds yeah and you may not have even

00:57:30

known this at the at the time or maybe

00:57:32

you did but it feels like with the

00:57:33

benefit of hindsight in the book that

00:57:34

you've written about it it was um yeah

00:57:36

like a healing Journey for you yeah big

00:57:38

time massive healing Journey yeah and

00:57:41

that's how I feel about all the books

00:57:42

like there've been a massive healing

00:57:44

Journey that's why I like doing it it's

00:57:47

so your second one that's when you came

00:57:48

to New Zealand for a book tour to

00:57:50

promote the first book and you did a

00:57:52

self-sufficient um bike ride of the

00:57:54

there's got to be an easier way to heal

00:57:56

yourself it could be self-sufficient

00:57:59

[ __ ] like the challenge like a bike

00:58:01

with a little trailer on the back with

00:58:03

all your supplies oh my God it was great

00:58:06

it smelled

00:58:07

brilliant showed up to every book

00:58:10

signing just smelling absolutely

00:58:12

wretched suppose the good thing is you

00:58:14

don't get any strangers at the book

00:58:15

signing wanting to hug

00:58:17

you that's definitely true nobody wanted

00:58:20

to hug me nobody wanted to hug me it was

00:58:23

great I had a lot of fun actually it was

00:58:25

a great bike it was a great cycle ride

00:58:27

you know like halfway through I don't

00:58:29

know did you read the second book no I

00:58:31

haven't so halfway through the second um

00:58:34

second book I funny I talk about my life

00:58:37

in books now halfway through the cycle

00:58:39

ride was just outside of Wellington and

00:58:42

um I was like cycling along and this

00:58:45

other person was cycling along and we

00:58:47

just started having a chat and it was

00:58:49

starting to get dark and I got a little

00:58:51

lost and I was like do you know where

00:58:52

this area is he's like yeah yeah but

00:58:54

it's kind of dark like do you want to

00:58:57

you know um do you want some company

00:59:00

like you're alone on a dangerous road

00:59:02

like not the best for cycling I was like

00:59:05

no but I need a p place to like pitch my

00:59:07

tent and he's like okay I live right

00:59:08

over there you can come pitch your tent

00:59:10

in my yard this is like so kiwi

00:59:13

Hospitality culture yeah and so I went

00:59:15

pitched by Ted at his yard like cooked

00:59:17

dinner and hung out with him and then

00:59:19

the next day I woke up and it was like

00:59:21

you know 5:00 a.m. or 600 a.m. we're

00:59:23

about to get going and he he had his

00:59:25

bike ready to go was like what are you

00:59:26

doing he's like I'd really like to join

00:59:27

you for a few days on the road would you

00:59:29

mind he ended up cycling with me all the

00:59:33

way from wellon through Hamilton like

00:59:36

like he cycled with me for a while it

00:59:38

was quite a few days his name's Rod he's

00:59:40

awesome he's super cool and he's still

00:59:42

to this day he's still he messaged me

00:59:44

this morning he's like I just saw you on

00:59:45

the news how are you doing like he's

00:59:47

super cool super cool guy he was going

00:59:49

through a bit of a tough time like

00:59:51

during that period as well like just

00:59:53

split up with his wife had a bunch of

00:59:54

daughters like trying trying to navigate

00:59:57

everything and so he jumped on the road

00:59:58

with me and we just had a cycle together

01:00:00

and like talked about life it was

01:00:02

fantastic yeah it's so cool isn't it

01:00:05

yeah yeah it's funny how how sometimes

01:00:07

you find people in life when when you

01:00:09

both need each other yeah yeah he's

01:00:11

great he's a good guy yeah oh yeah so um

01:00:15

yes so so back to the K2 thing so you

01:00:17

realized before you you before you get

01:00:20

to that body that you saw on Facebook

01:00:21

that it's probably not your brother yeah

01:00:24

yeah how do you how do you reach that

01:00:26

just kind of dissected it just based off

01:00:27

of the other teams that were hit by

01:00:30

Avalanches at that time right so you

01:00:33

realize you're dead and your brother

01:00:34

were on a different part of the mountain

01:00:35

or different side yeah they most likely

01:00:37

were swept over the Chinese border

01:00:41

okay oh sweeped over God that sounds

01:00:43

awful MH so so so who do you think it is

01:00:46

just just some other unlucky so I called

01:00:49

around to like a lot of the families who

01:00:51

had lost people around that time period

01:00:54

and asked for their permission to like

01:00:56

bury the body parts things like that

01:00:59

so everyone would have would have been

01:01:01

yes yeah yeah of course yeah they didn't

01:01:03

want them out there cuz people were

01:01:05

taking photos and putting it on Facebook

01:01:06

yeah it's outrageous Facebook and like

01:01:08

so they they were all like pretty

01:01:10

grateful that somebody was going to at

01:01:12

least cover them treat it respectfully

01:01:15

yeah and so Al so you find you find the

01:01:19

body body parts yeah body parts okay oh

01:01:22

Jesus

01:01:23

oh and you do you've got a like a DNA

01:01:26

kit

01:01:29

mhm

01:01:32

yeah what what do you teasted I'm not

01:01:35

going to go into that it was very

01:01:38

graphic it was a lot it was you know it

01:01:40

took me a long time to kind of come

01:01:42

through all of it um and I think like at

01:01:46

this point in my life like for my own

01:01:50

sanity and emotional healing like it was

01:01:54

documented in a book and put as a time

01:01:56

capsule put up on a shelf and I can

01:01:59

navigate away to move on from it or else

01:02:02

I'll just be stuck in this time warp of

01:02:03

concentrating on that particular period

01:02:06

of my life yeah fair enough yeah what is

01:02:09

your relationship with with therapy you

01:02:12

the like therapy since them you

01:02:14

Professional Health oh yeah yeah I've

01:02:16

gone in and out of therapy yeah I mean I

01:02:19

probably wouldn't be like working or

01:02:22

sitting here and talking to you if I

01:02:23

didn't do some kind of therapy

01:02:26

yeah like the the PTSD from that

01:02:30

something like that that whole

01:02:31

experience you know I just can't imagine

01:02:33

it yeah PTSD from that and then just

01:02:36

like in general just navigating life

01:02:40

through all of that through you know

01:02:42

through b me this last year was gnarly

01:02:46

you know

01:02:47

I this last year why oh just because I

01:02:51

you know I met a man fell in love and he

01:02:56

was diagnosed with a brain tumor and you

01:02:58

know spent two two months in hospital

01:03:03

where he

01:03:04

was kind of surrendering to the process

01:03:07

he it was very you

01:03:11

know hard he couldn't eat he couldn't

01:03:13

swallow he couldn't do any of it he had

01:03:15

to kind of come to terms with what his

01:03:17

life was

01:03:20

and um watching all of that was really

01:03:23

challenging um and then just navigating

01:03:27

life between two worlds for the most

01:03:30

part you know I'm in business school

01:03:32

right now which is like more like my

01:03:34

grandfather's world where it's you know

01:03:37

I'm at Yale which is a very elite

01:03:39

University that's like the campus is

01:03:42

like historic and beautiful and my class

01:03:44

is full of incredibly successful people

01:03:46

at the top of their field and it's a

01:03:49

very very different style of life than

01:03:53

the Adventure World the house and

01:03:56

twinfalls jumping off of a bridge daily

01:03:58

and so trying to step between those two

01:04:00

worlds is really really hard it's really

01:04:04

hard to navigate life between two polar

01:04:07

Opposite Worlds you seem to just

01:04:10

navigate it like a boss though like if

01:04:11

you see you on Instagram you're there in

01:04:12

a business suit or whatever and then

01:04:15

you'll be um you know going for a month

01:04:18

without showering somewhere around no I

01:04:21

navigate okay but I think it's really

01:04:23

really important that every everyone in

01:04:26

the world understands that Instagram is

01:04:28

not real like I feel like it is so

01:04:32

important people get that because in in

01:04:36

life in general you can look at

01:04:37

somebody's Instagram picture and think

01:04:39

that they're a certain way and

01:04:41

categorized by you know what their

01:04:44

tagline says or what they're wearing or

01:04:46

whatever it may be but life behind

01:04:48

Instagram is full of raw human emotion

01:04:52

that a photo and a video can't capture M

01:04:56

and I think that that's where things

01:04:58

like social media get really dangerous

01:05:00

and that's why I love literature because

01:05:02

I think that words can capture emotion

01:05:06

in a way that an Instagram post has a

01:05:10

hard time

01:05:12

doing yeah I think even someone that's

01:05:14

really open on social media it's still a

01:05:17

curated curated version of your life

01:05:19

isn't it and it's even if you um share

01:05:22

your most vulnerable moments they still

01:05:24

moments that you are prepared to share

01:05:25

so it is curated by Nature moments you

01:05:27

are prepared to share usually with some

01:05:29

kind of intention associated with it

01:05:31

like you want people to give you you

01:05:33

know add a girl and love and

01:05:36

appreciation or you want you know a

01:05:38

brand to promote you or you want like

01:05:41

usually you're sharing with a curated

01:05:45

approach or you probably wouldn't be

01:05:47

sharing yeah has has your your husband's

01:05:49

Health now he's good John was cleared to

01:05:52

jump back in January so he's been you

01:05:55

know jumping off

01:05:57

buildings oh my God if I was recing from

01:06:01

brain cancer there wouldn't be top my to

01:06:03

do we're all different though aren't we

01:06:06

wow oh that's cool that must been yeah

01:06:09

[ __ ] hell cuz you know there's um

01:06:11

yeah you read about resilience and stuff

01:06:13

and people say tough stuff yeah makes

01:06:15

you more resilient and stuff but I don't

01:06:16

do it feel like that for you you're like

01:06:18

okay well uh I went through this as a

01:06:20

kid I lost my dad and my brother I can

01:06:22

handle this or does it just feel like

01:06:24

it's another gigantic in front of you

01:06:26

you know it's so funny I read a quote

01:06:28

the other day that was like

01:06:31

um just because they carry it well

01:06:35

doesn't mean it's not

01:06:37

heavy like and I think that's very

01:06:42

poignant like

01:06:45

um I think in general I carry stuff very

01:06:49

well because I had to to survive for so

01:06:52

long um but you know it's an ultimate

01:06:57

question

01:06:58

of existentialism of our purpose on this

01:07:02

Earth and why we're here and what we

01:07:04

want to discover and what we want to

01:07:05

figure out and I think that I've gotten

01:07:08

as far as I have because I'm able to

01:07:11

power through stuff and really go

01:07:12

through it and feel everything that

01:07:15

comes over me with it and try to

01:07:17

navigate my way through it um which I'm

01:07:21

not I'm not sure if that comes from just

01:07:24

survival instincts

01:07:26

maybe it will take me years more of

01:07:28

therapy to figure this out but um but

01:07:32

whatever it comes from I'm glad I have

01:07:35

it because I know a lot of people who

01:07:38

probably wouldn't be able to survive

01:07:40

through a lot of the stuff that I've

01:07:42

been through

01:07:44

recently yeah it's a lot oh not what do

01:07:47

you mean recently like just the brain

01:07:49

tumor and all that okay like recent

01:07:51

recent right well I guess the whole

01:07:54

thing yeah I just wonder we're going

01:07:56

into the [ __ ] show life then what's your

01:07:59

time frame for reason because he answer

01:08:01

it's a lot um how long did it take you

01:08:03

to to um forgive your dad and make peace

01:08:07

with that sort of

01:08:09

relationship you know what it really

01:08:11

really helped spending a lot of time in

01:08:13

the mountains yeah that's like the most

01:08:15

healing thing ever when you go through

01:08:17

anything tragic is just spending time in

01:08:19

nature and the mountains and you know

01:08:23

it's funny I I went out to

01:08:26

yesterday I guess and just sat on the

01:08:29

beach and did like little meditation for

01:08:31

a while and I I forget like how calming

01:08:35

and peaceful

01:08:36

and relaxing and healing nature is

01:08:41

sometimes so it's important to kind of

01:08:42

take yourself out and stick yourself in

01:08:44

nature for a minute and that's I think

01:08:47

what really helped with the processing

01:08:49

of the stuff with Dan denol and that's

01:08:52

why I did the second you know the when I

01:08:55

came back during that second book was

01:08:58

like cycling around New Zealand that's

01:09:00

why I did it that way to be out in

01:09:01

nature and to try to heal and process

01:09:03

through all of it

01:09:05

yeah and what about your um relationship

01:09:08

with your mom how's how's that now you

01:09:10

guys good yeah yeah I just talked to her

01:09:12

the other day yeah we navigate life you

01:09:14

know in terms of figuring out um

01:09:18

figuring out our relationship we're

01:09:20

still figuring it out I think you're

01:09:21

always kind of figuring out

01:09:22

relationships with your parents yeah

01:09:24

yeah yeah yeah so constant work in

01:09:26

progress um but yeah L losing your dad

01:09:30

did was that sort of a catalyst for like

01:09:32

healing things with your mom or

01:09:33

realizing [ __ ] I I can't put this off

01:09:35

cuz who knows how long we've got yeah I

01:09:37

think that definitely plays a part in it

01:09:40

like whenever you're you go through like

01:09:41

a horrific or tragic

01:09:43

situation um it definitely plays a part

01:09:46

in determining what you want the rest of

01:09:48

your life to look like and not putting

01:09:50

things

01:09:53

off yeah

01:09:55

oh

01:09:57

um sh sorry this just there's another

01:09:59

thing that we haven't even talked about

01:10:01

your your silent Retreats yeah you like

01:10:03

where about Thailand no most of mine are

01:10:06

done in Thailand yeah so I did one like

01:10:09

seven days October yeah I just did one

01:10:11

on October how many have you done you've

01:10:13

done more than one I think I've done

01:10:14

five now oh my God yeah I've done a few

01:10:19

seven s days so you just sit there in

01:10:20

silence just playing on your phone

01:10:22

scrolling on Instagram you're not allow

01:10:23

phones no phones no books no writing

01:10:26

materials no nothing so just literally

01:10:28

alone in your own thoughts literally a

01:10:29

change of clothes and a

01:10:34

toothbrush why do you keep going back do

01:10:37

you get something different from it each

01:10:38

time yeah oh my God it's so good for you

01:10:41

have you ever like sat in silence for

01:10:44

nine 10 hours a day terrified of my own

01:10:46

thoughts yeah exactly yeah most people

01:10:49

are Stephen it's completely normal most

01:10:51

people are terrified of their own

01:10:53

thoughts right it's really scary it's

01:10:55

very like very

01:10:57

confronting you usually lose a few

01:10:59

people in the group by the time you're

01:11:01

done yeah you know it's very hard why

01:11:05

yeah why do you keep going back what

01:11:08

what do you what do you learn do you

01:11:09

learn something different things each

01:11:10

time every every time I learn something

01:11:12

different just about myself about what I

01:11:15

want about my navigation about yeah I

01:11:17

think I think meditation is super

01:11:20

important very hard way harder than

01:11:23

jumping off a cliff that's for damn sure

01:11:25

like to me like J me off cliff you're

01:11:28

it's a bit of a [ __ ] move like you sit

01:11:31

you sit in silent meditation for like

01:11:33

most of your life in a monastery in the

01:11:36

middle of you know the Himalayas you got

01:11:39

my full respect for sure why why why

01:11:42

aren't you allowed um like like writing

01:11:44

utensils surely it be good to like write

01:11:46

some stuff because you're the idea is

01:11:48

you're supposed to completely clear your

01:11:49

mind of all thoughts you're supposed to

01:11:52

be in the moment completely present

01:11:54

clear clear your mind of all

01:11:56

thoughts and if you have a phone or

01:11:59

writing utensils or a book or anything

01:12:01

else that is evoking thoughts right but

01:12:04

are you ever free from thoughts I don't

01:12:07

you you can reach you can reach that

01:12:09

stage in in meditation depending on what

01:12:11

style of meditation you do vasana

01:12:15

meditation I think that you can you can

01:12:17

reach I definitely have reached moments

01:12:21

of clarity of thought um Clarity of mind

01:12:25

mind so an ability

01:12:29

to concentrate solely on your breathing

01:12:32

and nothing

01:12:34

more I I studied um TM Transcendental

01:12:37

Meditation I I I did that religiously

01:12:40

for maybe five or six years I've been

01:12:42

with it since but yet you see you

01:12:45

meditate what you're talking about yeah

01:12:46

but no but yeah 20 minutes twice a day

01:12:49

and as soon as you have a thought oh I'm

01:12:51

not thinking about anything that that in

01:12:53

itself is a thought yeah so they come

01:12:55

back in but I I can't imagine being in

01:12:57

silence for 7 days do you do do you find

01:13:00

yourself like just weeping

01:13:01

uncontrollably over

01:13:03

times the first Meditation Retreat I

01:13:06

ever did was after d and joli died and

01:13:10

absolutely I found myself weeping

01:13:13

um but since then no I wouldn't say I

01:13:17

find myself weeping um it depends on

01:13:19

what I'm going through in the period of

01:13:21

my life that I'm going into a Meditation

01:13:23

Retreat um

01:13:26

but yeah I I think it it can evoke

01:13:30

emotion but the point of it is is to

01:13:32

clear your mind of

01:13:33

thought so why do you keep going back I

01:13:37

think I'll probably is it like a reset I

01:13:40

think I'll be a student of meditation

01:13:42

for my entire life um I don't practice

01:13:46

on a daily basis like I'm not doing the

01:13:48

20 you know two times 20 minutes a day I

01:13:51

don't I don't do that on a daily basis I

01:13:53

just go all in on a retreat that's what

01:13:56

I do most of my life I go all in like

01:14:00

like if I'm going to meditate I'll just

01:14:02

go seven days of Silence like I'll just

01:14:04

go

01:14:07

hard you should CL out no I want to do

01:14:10

that one there yeah that's kind of how I

01:14:12

do life in general yeah yeah yeah yeah

01:14:14

just all or nothing right I just figure

01:14:16

I mean it's [ __ ] short like why not

01:14:18

if you're going to do it you might as

01:14:19

well go all the way yeah um yeah do do

01:14:23

you want to have a family

01:14:25

yeah I mean I think that's something

01:14:28

that

01:14:30

um you know I'm at the age now where if

01:14:33

I'm if I'm going to do it I think that

01:14:36

it's something that should be thought

01:14:38

about a lot more than most people think

01:14:43

about it so you not necessarily ready

01:14:46

but you you realize the biological clock

01:14:49

no no I just I I mean in general in

01:14:51

society people will have kids without

01:14:53

really thinking if they want to have

01:14:54

kids kids yeah and I think it's very

01:14:57

important that that's something that is

01:14:59

um

01:15:01

both people's priority is we're going to

01:15:04

have a child and we're going to

01:15:05

concentrate on this child not we're

01:15:07

going to have a child because Society

01:15:08

tells us to have child or we're going to

01:15:10

have a child because we just want a

01:15:11

child like it should be you you really

01:15:15

understand the commitment that you're

01:15:16

getting into and maybe this is my

01:15:17

childhood abandonment postt truma

01:15:21

[ __ ] but I think that if you're going to

01:15:23

have a child you should really want that

01:15:26

child and you should really concentrate

01:15:29

your energy and your effort and shape

01:15:30

your life around bringing that child

01:15:32

into this world um or else it's unfair

01:15:35

to the child so I'm not sure if I'm at

01:15:37

that stage or not yeah how if you do

01:15:41

decide to become a parent how would you

01:15:42

be different to your own

01:15:45

parents I think i' do things a lot

01:15:48

differently than my parents did them um

01:15:50

but there are a lot of elements that my

01:15:52

my parents put into their

01:15:55

uh roles and responsibilities that I

01:15:57

would include like my mom was very

01:16:00

nurturing early on and very very um

01:16:04

loving and used like holistic medicine

01:16:07

different approaches had us eat or

01:16:08

organic you know couldn't watch screens

01:16:11

like all of that stuff absolutely

01:16:13

brilliant like I would definitely take

01:16:14

that and apply that my dad's you know

01:16:17

wild side and exposure to Nature and um

01:16:21

I think those are all really really

01:16:24

important elements

01:16:25

to raising a healthy child but I think

01:16:28

there is elements of stability that I

01:16:30

would probably do quite differently yeah

01:16:33

um and then it's also like you know if

01:16:36

that if that's something that that my

01:16:38

partner wants and what what our

01:16:41

concentrations would be because I think

01:16:43

that um you know his his whole life

01:16:46

rotates around base obviously so yeah

01:16:51

it's hard isn't it because I can

01:16:52

understand you you want stability for

01:16:54

your kids but you know by normal

01:16:57

conventional standards I suppose like

01:16:59

you and your husband are not like an

01:17:01

overly conventional couple yeah you're

01:17:04

not the white packet fence couple you

01:17:05

know what I mean no definitely not um

01:17:08

but we have a lot of friends who are

01:17:10

able to navigate children while

01:17:12

continuing to kind of Life yeah yeah and

01:17:16

I would never want a child to feel that

01:17:19

we resent them in any way for not living

01:17:21

that style of life so I think that

01:17:24

that's like an important navigation of

01:17:27

of Parenthood um but I you know I'm I'm

01:17:31

also a really firm believer and

01:17:35

um I I work a lot like I run a company

01:17:38

and I'm I work way too much to be

01:17:40

realistic I live in America which is a

01:17:42

capitalistic culture and I work a Fu ton

01:17:46

and um we live in a culture where that's

01:17:50

okay and I personally believe that like

01:17:55

I don't I I wouldn't want to have a

01:17:56

child that I I had nannies raising like

01:18:00

I'd want a child that I could I could

01:18:02

breastfeed and I could be there and it

01:18:04

could be like a pure connection that's

01:18:06

the only real way to bring a child into

01:18:08

this world in my belief like I I don't

01:18:10

know if I really agree with current

01:18:12

culture of the way that children are

01:18:14

being

01:18:15

raised um so yeah it's something I'm

01:18:18

thinking about navigating yeah well you

01:18:20

by something you just said about um

01:18:22

you're having your own business and

01:18:23

working a [ __ ] ton you you but also

01:18:25

somehow and I think this is inspiring as

01:18:27

well you managed to fit everything else

01:18:29

in you managed to fit in these you

01:18:31

[ __ ] one month Expeditions or

01:18:33

whatever where you're off the phone or

01:18:35

you one week silent Retreats where

01:18:36

you're not on the phone I also don't

01:18:38

have a family and that makes it a lot

01:18:40

easier like employes that's a family in

01:18:43

a way and that took a lot of navigation

01:18:45

to figure out a system where you know at

01:18:49

one point I was way too big I had way

01:18:51

too many employees and I became a people

01:18:53

manager and I was like [ __ ] all right

01:18:55

let me get rid of some of you um and now

01:18:58

I have a really like we have an amazing

01:19:01

team at dap the Publishing Company

01:19:03

amazing team like I know they're

01:19:05

handling everything right now I can be

01:19:07

on this book tour [ __ ] sorted right um

01:19:11

same thing with you know with Denali

01:19:14

foundation with the nonprofit like I

01:19:16

know that it's sorted it's solid right

01:19:19

same thing with the you know rental

01:19:21

property I know it's the rental

01:19:23

properties are getting paid so now I've

01:19:25

been able to kind of navigate a system

01:19:27

where it gives me a little bit more time

01:19:29

but I'm still figuring it out it's not

01:19:31

[ __ ] easy like and that's something

01:19:34

that

01:19:37

um yeah I think Instagram's really

01:19:39

dangerous when it comes to stuff like

01:19:41

business because I see um constantly

01:19:45

like the the entrepreneurs and the like

01:19:47

hustle culture and work really hard I've

01:19:50

been doing this [ __ ] since I was 16

01:19:51

years old I legitimately

01:19:54

have been doing this like half of my

01:19:58

life and I can tell you right now like

01:20:02

the the the the way that it's presented

01:20:06

entrepreneurship and owning companies

01:20:07

and all of

01:20:09

that not not a [ __ ] walk in the park

01:20:12

like takes stress Beyond stress like you

01:20:17

your ability to deal with situations if

01:20:20

anything my life of

01:20:25

traumas prepared me to deal with

01:20:27

business in a way that most people

01:20:29

couldn't handle because business in

01:20:31

general trying to run a company and have

01:20:33

employees [ __ ] hard really really

01:20:37

hard and we struggled my husband and I

01:20:40

struggled a lot with that that my work

01:20:42

ethic and my mentality towards business

01:20:44

is very very different than than most

01:20:48

people's because it requires that to

01:20:50

keep a company running especially a

01:20:52

company in media especially a company in

01:20:54

books

01:20:55

right so I think that's like an

01:20:59

important thing to note is yes I now am

01:21:02

at a point where I can do both I can go

01:21:05

to a silent Retreat and still have a

01:21:07

company running but there was a period

01:21:09

of my life where I couldn't where 100%

01:21:13

of my focus was trying to get from one

01:21:16

month to the next and navigate how to

01:21:19

keep the company running so where most

01:21:21

people start out in their career in

01:21:23

their what they come out of college in

01:21:26

the states they'll go to college maybe

01:21:28

they're 25 when they really start in

01:21:29

their career right and then they reach a

01:21:32

certain point what's 17 years plus 25 25

01:21:36

35 42 42 that's when most people start

01:21:39

really becoming successful that's when

01:21:41

most people have reached the point in

01:21:42

their life where they can maybe start to

01:21:44

navigate how do I take this family

01:21:46

vacation how do I do that right so if

01:21:48

you think of my life I'm actually like

01:21:51

way earlier than most people but I've

01:21:53

worked as much as most 42 year olds now

01:21:57

right because I

01:21:58

started because I started so young so

01:22:01

when people look at my life now and

01:22:03

they're like you're able to navigate it

01:22:05

really well you're successful it's

01:22:06

because I've been doing it for so

01:22:08

[ __ ] long that's why yeah yeah and

01:22:12

that

01:22:12

Scrappy um Street Fighter mentality or

01:22:16

whatever you want to call it it probably

01:22:17

prepared you well for the life of an

01:22:19

entrepreneur or a startup and it got me

01:22:22

to a certain point now like that's why I

01:22:25

chose to go to school this year is

01:22:27

because now I'm like I'm at this point

01:22:30

but my you know I'm in rooms with

01:22:32

congresswoman and sometimes ambassadors

01:22:35

and I'm like okay I got to get a little

01:22:37

bit of formal education because my

01:22:39

scrappiness will only get me so far it

01:22:41

can get me to the door but in order to

01:22:43

look good while I walk in the door and

01:22:44

have a proper conversation I should

01:22:46

probably refine it a little bit you know

01:22:48

yeah what um what what are your goals

01:22:50

for the are you are you a goal goal

01:22:52

Setter you got a the like the um the

01:22:55

mountain stuff you do that must that

01:22:56

requires a fa bit of planning but is

01:22:58

there planning in other aspects of your

01:22:59

life like do you have a 5year plan or a

01:23:01

10-year plan yeah vision board all that

01:23:03

[ __ ] I learned that actually from I have

01:23:05

a couple of authors who were like

01:23:07

motivational speakers and all that so

01:23:09

they do vision boards um right now I'm

01:23:12

working actually I'm working on my next

01:23:13

book it's called the comfort zone and

01:23:16

it's more of a business book than it is

01:23:18

straight Adventure but the idea is to

01:23:20

take elements from my adventurous

01:23:22

mentality speaking of being in Two

01:23:24

Worlds

01:23:25

and applying them to to business so like

01:23:29

um we have this thing in the office

01:23:31

called The Hit List that's like all of

01:23:34

the people that we want to sign as

01:23:35

authors and then this like it's stupid

01:23:38

but I used to like stalk them all and

01:23:40

like to try to get them signed oh I saw

01:23:42

a clip online about this the the

01:23:43

Goosebumps guy yeah RL Stein is one yeah

01:23:46

yeah yeah Goosebumps famous um sort of

01:23:48

like teen series Kid series one of the

01:23:50

most famous in the

01:23:52

world huge author huge author chipped

01:23:55

away yeah for four years I stalked him

01:23:57

and he finally signed with

01:23:59

me that that mentality that you're

01:24:02

talking about that scrabby don't take no

01:24:04

for an answerer mentality applying it to

01:24:07

um business and then taking the lessons

01:24:11

that I learned within that and it's

01:24:13

really all about like pushing yourself

01:24:14

out of your comfort zone wait what is

01:24:17

your comfort zone my comfort zone yeah

01:24:20

is is is is your comfort zone as bizarre

01:24:22

as this would sound like when you

01:24:23

jumping or is it when you're at home on

01:24:25

the Cofer with your husband what is

01:24:27

it that's a really great question I'll

01:24:30

tell you what's not in my comfort zone

01:24:32

that I'm exploring right now that will

01:24:33

probably be in the next book is some of

01:24:35

the stuff we talked about like um

01:24:38

navigating past trauma mhm that's like

01:24:42

not in my comfort zone at all because

01:24:44

I've always just powered through

01:24:45

everything been like a Survivor like you

01:24:48

can get through

01:24:49

it the tough way yeah but I've never

01:24:53

like sat down and really introspectively

01:24:56

looked at okay does this does this

01:25:00

determination and motivation to um

01:25:03

achieve and be successful come from a

01:25:05

place of wanting to do it or does it

01:25:08

come from a place of feeling the need to

01:25:10

do it because of abandonment issues or

01:25:12

past trauma or any of that stuff so I'm

01:25:14

exploring that now through therapy and I

01:25:17

think that's really outside of my

01:25:19

comfort zone there's nothing just like

01:25:20

you said with sitting alone with your

01:25:22

own thoughts is terrifying for you right

01:25:24

like there's nothing more terrifying to

01:25:26

me than the exploration of who I am and

01:25:32

that is really outside of my comfort

01:25:34

zone so but I feel like you've done more

01:25:36

of that than what most of us believer do

01:25:38

probably which is really sad to be

01:25:40

honest like I feel like half of the

01:25:43

reason we're on this Earth is to explore

01:25:45

that right not just to live in this kind

01:25:47

of really boring bubble it's to explore

01:25:50

that [ __ ] not just physically but

01:25:52

emotionally as well yeah I suppose after

01:25:55

losing your brother and your dad on the

01:25:56

same day in such a dramatic fashion you

01:25:59

know you realize the importance of that

01:26:00

more than most of us yeah absolutely um

01:26:04

and if you could go back and tell your

01:26:05

teenage self something what would it be

01:26:07

if you could go back to that that girl

01:26:09

stealing from the warehouse in Hawks Bay

01:26:11

the

01:26:13

FY what would you tell her you tell her

01:26:15

everything's going to be all right keep

01:26:17

keep doing what you're doing what would

01:26:19

you

01:26:21

say don't don't don't don't go too hard

01:26:23

on your dad like CU his time he's

01:26:26

limited no no I think I

01:26:29

think I think it would be really

01:26:31

important this is a great question by

01:26:33

the way you should ask every guest this

01:26:34

question it's a fantastic question

01:26:36

because it makes you really really

01:26:38

contemplate I think if I were to talk

01:26:41

to this scrappy little girl in the WTI

01:26:45

fatty who just got arrested for stealing

01:26:48

I think I would tell her

01:26:52

that it's okay to be Scrappy it'll get

01:26:56

you really far in life but at some point

01:26:59

you need to stop and take a look at why

01:27:04

you're being Scrappy I think that would

01:27:06

be really really important it's hard

01:27:09

though isn't it because I I get the

01:27:10

feeling maybe this is psycho analyzing a

01:27:12

bit too much but even sitting up with

01:27:14

something like um a Publishing Company

01:27:16

it almost feels like a [ __ ] you to your

01:27:18

dad at the time you know because it's

01:27:21

you know it's complete opposite to like

01:27:24

yeah climbing the world's highest

01:27:25

mountain isn't it city of a Publishing

01:27:27

Company could be and it's funny because

01:27:29

it's like you know that publishing

01:27:31

company I mean we have over a 100 books

01:27:33

that we've published and we've worked

01:27:34

with some incredible authors and I've

01:27:36

helped other people tell their life

01:27:38

stories and it ended up being such a you

01:27:40

know such a great experience um but you

01:27:44

know it's it's it's an interesting

01:27:46

navigation of like

01:27:49

um how much of your life is done for you

01:27:53

and how much of your life is done

01:27:55

circumstantially and how much of your

01:27:56

life is done because of your parents and

01:28:00

I think you can ask that to [ __ ]

01:28:01

anyone right yeah absolutely you can hey

01:28:05

this has been a great chat it's been

01:28:07

really how's it been for you it's been

01:28:09

awesome I all I can think of is tickle

01:28:11

Tuesdays I'm like drinking all the water

01:28:13

thinking of tickle Tuesdays hey it's

01:28:16

nice to finally connect with you I've

01:28:17

done um yeah so much uh reading and

01:28:20

researching I feel like I already know

01:28:21

you cuz of your voicey Stu yeah yeah

01:28:23

yeah oh God the years at the edge I got

01:28:26

all climing we me just tinkled Tuesday

01:28:28

like out of all the out of all the

01:28:30

little features and segments I did in 30

01:28:33

years of radio that's the [ __ ] one

01:28:35

you remember yeah I mean how bad did

01:28:36

your parents [ __ ] you up that you

01:28:39

Tuesdays badly I think they I think they

01:28:42

all they all [ __ ] us up hey yeah

01:28:44

everyone has like a slight Grudge on

01:28:45

their shoulder about the parents but if

01:28:47

you're a parent now like um you might

01:28:48

think you're doing a lot better than

01:28:49

what your parents did but you you're

01:28:51

[ __ ] you're [ __ ] your kid up yeah

01:28:53

yeah absolutely that's why when you ask

01:28:54

me about kids I'm like you you're going

01:28:56

to [ __ ] them up no matter what so and

01:28:59

the way I see it is like parents are

01:29:01

going to [ __ ] up their kids no matter

01:29:02

what so if I chose my parents in this

01:29:05

lifetime I did a damn good job of

01:29:07

picking the ones that would like put me

01:29:09

in tough ass position so I would come

01:29:11

out a lot more gritty well yeah you are

01:29:14

gritty you're a gangster you're you're a

01:29:16

badass you're a Savage and it's been

01:29:17

wonderful to sit down with you today

01:29:19

likewise sequa dangelo Schmid Schmid we

01:29:23

going with Schmid sure why not we'll

01:29:25

just make up more names I like seoa I

01:29:27

feel like it's Unique enough that would

01:29:29

be like a life you ask me my life goals

01:29:31

I think I if I could get to a point

01:29:33

where people just know me as seoa that's

01:29:35

like pretty badass it is got Beyonce

01:29:38

energy to it one name only required one

01:29:41

name only I love it he thanks for your

01:29:43

time today it's been great good luck for

01:29:44

the future thanks d

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

90
Most heartbreaking
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Most dramatic
80
Most emotional
75
Most inspiring

Episode Highlights

Tinkle Tuesday
A childhood memory of a radio show segment where they counted how long someone peed.
“That is literally burned in my mind from childhood.”
@ 01m 19s
September 18, 2024
Exploring Fear Through Flight
Discussing the themes of his new book about base jumping and confronting fear.
“It's really just an exploration of my relationship with my own fear.”
@ 08m 06s
September 18, 2024
A Unique Family Background
Insights into the speaker's family, including a famous mountaineer father.
“My dad was one of the top in the world.”
@ 18m 49s
September 18, 2024
The Importance of Stability
Exploring the role of a grandparent in providing stability during turbulent times.
“He took on a sense of responsibility and stability that should come from a parent.”
@ 31m 22s
September 18, 2024
Starting a Publishing Company at 16
A young entrepreneur shares the story behind founding a successful publishing company.
“I just wanted to carve my own name and my own place in this Earth.”
@ 34m 15s
September 18, 2024
Curiosity Reawakened
How a massive tragedy reignited a passion for exploration and understanding.
“Curiosity is a huge part of who I am.”
@ 41m 28s
September 18, 2024
The Dangers of K2
Discussing the inherent risks of climbing the world's most dangerous mountain.
“Even the most careful climbers come with risk.”
@ 47m 40s
September 18, 2024
Finding Connection on the Road
A chance encounter leads to a meaningful friendship during a cycling journey.
“It's funny how sometimes you find people in life when you both need each other.”
@ 01h 00m 05s
September 18, 2024
The Illusion of Social Media
Exploring the dangers of curated lives on Instagram and the importance of genuine emotion.
“Life behind Instagram is full of raw human emotion that a photo can't capture.”
@ 01h 04m 52s
September 18, 2024
The Weight of Loss
Navigating grief and trauma reveals the hidden burdens we carry.
“Just because they carry it well doesn't mean it's not heavy.”
@ 01h 06m 26s
September 18, 2024
The Journey of Entrepreneurship
Navigating the challenges of business requires resilience and a unique mentality. 'Business is not a walk in the park.'
@ 01h 20m 09s
September 18, 2024
Comfort Zone Exploration
Exploring past trauma is outside of my comfort zone, but it's essential for growth. 'Sitting alone with your own thoughts is terrifying.'
@ 01h 25m 24s
September 18, 2024

Episode Quotes

I want to smell it and sweat in it.
Base Jumper & Author, Sequoia Schmidt - How Losing Father & Brother in Avalanche Inspired Her
You pick your parents, and I picked wonderful parents.
Base Jumper & Author, Sequoia Schmidt - How Losing Father & Brother in Avalanche Inspired Her
The greatest tragedy is the best thing that ever happened to me.
Base Jumper & Author, Sequoia Schmidt - How Losing Father & Brother in Avalanche Inspired Her
Even the most careful climbers come with risk.
Base Jumper & Author, Sequoia Schmidt - How Losing Father & Brother in Avalanche Inspired Her
Just because they carry it well doesn't mean it's not heavy.
Base Jumper & Author, Sequoia Schmidt - How Losing Father & Brother in Avalanche Inspired Her
I've been doing this since I was 16.
Base Jumper & Author, Sequoia Schmidt - How Losing Father & Brother in Avalanche Inspired Her

Key Moments

Childhood Memories01:19
Foster Care Experience20:19
Grandfather's Influence28:05
Tragedy and Transformation39:38
Silent Retreats1:10:01
Parenthood Reflections1:14:23
Entrepreneurial Struggles1:20:09
Advice to Self1:26:52

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown

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June 17, 2023

01:33:25

WARNING: World Boxing Champ Mea Motu on domestic violence || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

Don McGlashan: The Stories Behind NZ’s Most Iconic Songs

January 11, 2026

02:06:26

Don McGlashan: The Stories Behind NZ’s Most Iconic Songs

Robbie Magasiva Opens Up on Loss of Pua Magasiva

March 15, 2026

01:37:33

Robbie Magasiva Opens Up on Loss of Pua Magasiva

K’Lee: From Pop Star to Survivor – Abuse, Trauma & Resilience

June 01, 2025

02:30:16

K’Lee: From Pop Star to Survivor – Abuse, Trauma & Resilience

Simone Maier - Multi-Sport World Champ on Racing with Richie McCaw, Sexual Abuse & Mental Health

January 28, 2024

01:35:16

Simone Maier - Multi-Sport World Champ on Racing with Richie McCaw, Sexual Abuse & Mental Health

Dying an Assisted Death - Tracy Hickman on Deciding to Die, Cancer Journey & Message for Others

May 08, 2024

01:16:03

Dying an Assisted Death - Tracy Hickman on Deciding to Die, Cancer Journey & Message for Others

Star Architect, George Clarke: "I Can’t Stop Coming Back to New Zealand!"

August 13, 2025

36:21

Star Architect, George Clarke: "I Can’t Stop Coming Back to New Zealand!"

Laura Nagel on the diagnosis that threatened her career || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

October 16, 2022

45:39

Laura Nagel on the diagnosis that threatened her career || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

Jackson Garden-Bachop on Death of Brother Connor, Dealing with Grief & Overcoming Addiction

February 19, 2025

01:35:44

Jackson Garden-Bachop on Death of Brother Connor, Dealing with Grief & Overcoming Addiction

Maia Wilson Opens Up About Silver Ferns Career, Body Image Issues, and more!

July 23, 2023

01:20:01

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