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you got leukemia. And I had no idea what leukemia was. I mean, even the word sounds confusing. What I did see was my
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mom just break down in tears. And that just tore me apart. I'm like, what the
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heck's happening? It was extremely difficult to try and navigate that time by myself. And as my dad's saying,
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you're not using all your strength unless you're asking for help. And I needed to ask for help, but I didn't
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know how. I had no perspective at that time. I didn't no tools. And then I thought, [ __ ] my mind's out of control.
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My body's out of control. What can control I do? what control can I take? And that was to take my life. Like
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really considering taking my life. So I walked to the balcony and I was there. I
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was like, this is it. You know, everything's out. You don't know what to
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do. And I stepped up and I felt the wind hit the side of my face, the right hand.
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I I remember it vividly and I turned around and I saw my mom's cup of tea there and just hit me hard. Hit me hard.
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I couldn't put the pain I was feeling on my mom. I couldn't put that on her.