00:00:00
[Music] Michaela welcome to my podcast thanks for having me so good to have you here
00:00:32
you're this is Michaela she's the captain of the northern Mystics networ
00:00:35
team and a member of the silver FS when she's when she's uninjured yeah I always
00:00:41
say on a I'm in the silver FS on a good day yes so you've um how many times have
00:00:45
you played for the silver ferns oh not many um 15ish so you first made the silver
00:00:52
Ferns and 2018 and then you had a gap of oh like five years five years or something
00:01:02
so the media like to tell me it's incredible really he it's in like you you've just been that injury Prim like
00:01:08
and the fact that you made it back it's feels like it's a I don't know it must have felt like
00:01:13
your Silver Fin dream was almost over yeah definitely got to that point I remember when I got injured the first
00:01:19
time I was like I'll be back no issues like I'll do the work I'll be back then
00:01:23
the second time that the longer it went that I wasn't in the more and more I
00:01:27
thought oh yeah okay I don't don't think I'll be back there why just um yeah just because
00:01:34
younger players come along yeah not on yeah like and you get to a certain age they're probably thinking we probably
00:01:43
need to start building the next layer or tier of player and we can't really waste
00:01:48
time on someone that's been injured twice major injuries been out for ages the game's kind of moved on and I I knew
00:01:56
I was good enough to get back but yeah and also because you're in your mid 20s
00:02:00
you're old news old you're old old has been but like you are cuz they're
00:02:05
thinking about like four four years cycles and like I'm thinking oh yeah but
00:02:11
then I'm probably making a narrative in my own mind that the selectors aren't
00:02:15
thinking but because you haven't been selected you try to think of all these
00:02:17
reasons why not Al another way of looking at it I suppose is the um the downtime when you you're not playing due
00:02:24
to injuries and you're doing strength and conditioning and Rehab maybe that'll
00:02:28
like tag those years on to the end of your well yeah definitely not for me my there
00:02:32
is no way my body's going to give me more years than I uh have currently so maybe for others yes why yeah what is
00:02:40
what is wrong with your body why are you so exd and prone yeah um that's a good
00:02:44
question I I've got CTIC arthritis and my body I always say my body just hates
00:02:49
me like my body didn't want me to be an athlete um they don't think that that
00:02:53
was wow depends on who you ask but they don't think that that was related to my
00:02:56
aules ruptures that I had but like days are tough like getting out of bed in the morning's tough like the
00:03:04
maintenance I have to do on my body's tough and the mental and emotional toll
00:03:08
that that takes just to get to the start line of nital training or netball game I
00:03:12
don't know how many years I can keep doing that for so yeah so where did this all
00:03:21
start oh well I've been injury prone my whole life that's nothing new yeah yeah
00:03:26
I heard a podcast that you did and uh this was years and years this is the only podcast I found that you've been on
00:03:32
and it was from like 2017 or something and you talk about the injuries that you had through like secondary school so you
00:03:38
just got like a is it a genetic thing just like a weak body yeah I don't know
00:03:42
I only got diagnosed with the sertic arthritis after my arales ruptures in 2020 2021 actually I got diagnosed with
00:03:50
that um but yeah growing up back shins like always injured with something um they don't really know why
00:04:00
or how but yeah lots of injuries did you think about a desk job no not at all well just funny cuz I'm so competitive
00:04:09
so if I do get injured my first thought is how do I get back not how do I give up like I just want to keep going and I
00:04:16
want to be playing wow just that growth mindset eh yeah and I just love netball I'm actually a fan of the game I watch
00:04:23
every a game I watch every silver F game I just I really enjoy the game and that's probably the disappointing thing
00:04:29
is I I just love it and you're good at it you're really good at it but it
00:04:34
wasn't always like to say so you're um you're from a family with um you're the
00:04:38
baby of the family there's two older brothers yes research so you're the baby of the
00:04:43
family um what does that mean growing up with two older brothers so were you you
00:04:49
know competitive with them you never played netball growing up hey yeah no I didn't very competitive with my brothers
00:04:55
one Sam he's 8 years older than me so when we were younger not as competitive
00:05:00
cuz that age gap's so big that you know like he could have hurt me seriously if
00:05:05
we started to go toe to- toe in sport whereas my other brother James is only two years older than me but we would go
00:05:11
toe to- toe like we would yeah fight we were the most competitive man him just cuz we were so close in age um but yeah
00:05:19
they definitely taught me to be tough there's there's probably some studies or
00:05:23
research that has been done on this but um from I've found like from people I've
00:05:27
had on the podcast like high performers a lot of them have like older siblings and I think it's just like playing at
00:05:33
that upper level when you're younger it just makes you tougher or better yeah
00:05:37
and like my brother would always like coers me into like playing rugby or soccer with him on the back lawn be like
00:05:43
but if you play this with me I'll then come inside and play Barbies with you
00:05:47
and we never ever came inside and played my game and You' think that I would
00:05:51
learn like okay it's probably time that I go first but I'd always end up outside
00:05:56
playing with him andun oh my God I I think did the same sort of tradeoff with um with my siblings like yeah come and
00:06:02
play a bit of tennis with me or Cricket on the driveway and then I'll play elastics with you and did you ever play
00:06:07
elastics no of course not are you kidding me I told you to get the dining room cheers for the elastics do you know
00:06:13
what elastics are yeah I do I'm I'm young I'm not that young yeah but I was
00:06:18
never very good at them my J skills you think with the height you would have been amazing yeah no yeah okay so so the
00:06:26
the baby of the family um you very growing up but mainly soccer yeah lots of soccer only cuz that's what my
00:06:34
brother played so joined soccer but then my brother went to rugby so end up at rugby but my mom coached netball umpired
00:06:41
netball so and my dad played rugby my other brother played rugby so we're always around sport like Saturday was
00:06:47
sport then my brother got really good at rugby so we started going to like rips on Sunday so it was kind of couldn't get
00:06:55
away from sport growing up just because of yeah our family dynamic and well and your mom dragged you to a
00:07:02
netball game one day or like big they were shorter players or something is that how it started yeah she coached all
00:07:07
my friends I played I think I played soccer at the time but she was at the school coaching all my friends and they
00:07:14
were like really short for training and she said please can you just come I like
00:07:19
I really want to do these practices but I can't do it with the numbers we've got
00:07:22
so I was like okay and I remember like grabbing the ball and sprinting down the court and trying to let do a layup or
00:07:28
try shooty shoot the goal and my mom standing there like you can't like you can't run with that I was at year five
00:07:34
or six I was like oh pathetic and I just used to think that like it was for girly
00:07:39
girls and like SK I didn't want to wear the skirt and I didn't want to I don't
00:07:44
know just wasn't my vibe and then Mom somehow I don't actually know how she
00:07:49
enticed me to play the game on the weekend and I ended up really I remember really enjoying it and then asking if I
00:07:55
could go back um and then she was like absolutely you can come back so I went back and I never left the team and then
00:08:03
I never left the sport so you you enjoyed it because you were good at it or is just something collecting you were
00:08:08
like oh this is a cool sport I think both I think I enjoyed like the amount of teamwork that was involved and that
00:08:15
you needed everybody to win the game whereas like when I was playing soccer you could kind of just like cick run and
00:08:23
boot it in and you like half your team could not even be involved whereas with netball everybody's needed all of the
00:08:29
time and I think I really like that team aspect and then did you just become obsessed with
00:08:34
netball then I probably became overly obsessed I ended up too much netball that's probably why I got broken but
00:08:39
yeah I just ended up really liking that so I played the rest of that year with my friends and then the next year my mom
00:08:47
actually and her friend started their own little we were called the crown gems they started their own little netball
00:08:52
club and we went round and we got to design all our own dresses so we of course being young girls they were black
00:08:59
and pink like hot pink um so that was really fun and I just I think all of the friendships I made that's what made me
00:09:06
enjoy the sport more and you you were naturally good or oh I think so without sounding up myself I think so cuz I was
00:09:14
really tall from a young age and so I think they could just throw the ball into me cuz I played a lot of shooter
00:09:21
back then which I do not do now um and I could just kind of put the ball into cuz
00:09:26
the goals were small they were the small goals yes so I don't have to try that
00:09:30
hard to get it in so that helped probably I I it's must be hard not to like something that you're good at yeah
00:09:39
probably yeah so what you um sort of screwed your nose up then about the shooting thing why why did you drift
00:09:46
away from shooting shooting would be the glamour position yeah I probably well I was actually a coach
00:09:52
that said to me I don't think you're a shoter I was like no I I am like what
00:09:57
are you talking about and she's like no I think a Defender and at that point I
00:10:00
had been going between goal attack and goal defense in games which is weird people don't normally do that but I
00:10:07
would go between the two depending on where the team needed me then this one coach was like you should stay down the
00:10:12
defensive end so I did and yeah I was definitely a better Defender than I was a shooter and you're you're now the
00:10:20
captain of the mystics the northern Mystics this is the only the only AZ team you've played in right yeah you've
00:10:25
been on the team for like eight years or something yeah since 2016 so how old were we then like 18 18 yeah
00:10:33
so you finished school do you make all the rep teams all the age group teams yeah neor New Zealand have got this like
00:10:39
pathway of how to get to the top and I was the athlete that did all the steps so played reps then I went to the
00:10:47
National development Squad and then I made New Zealand secondary schools New Zealand under 21s A and Z then silver f
00:10:53
it all happened like in this real nice linear pattern for me then yeah all my injuries
00:11:01
came yeah when did they start I was injured like throughout my whole kind of career but my two major ones came in
00:11:08
2020 the Achilles yeah okay yeah we will get to them because I I think this is um
00:11:15
maybe I don't know maybe an inspiring part of your story like The Comeback like it's um the sort of adversity and
00:11:21
setback that you know it could it could finish some athletes off right yeah it really could okay so um so you finished
00:11:28
school you go to university to become a teacher you want to be a PE teacher you are a PE teacher PE teacher yeah yeah
00:11:35
how do you how do you fit it in now um are you fulltime no I teach on a Wednesday morning before training and
00:11:43
our day off from Mystics is Thursday so I teach all day Thursday a one day a week yeah one and a
00:11:49
half days must be nice and yeah it is and honestly teaching is so hard and when I walk in the office some mornings
00:11:56
and I just look around at my colleagues I'm like you guys are amazing amazing
00:12:00
like they always no matter what is happening they're just always so positive and upbeat and it's really easy
00:12:08
for me to walk in and be positive and upbeat I'm there one day one in a bit days so I can walk out that door and
00:12:14
I've got a whole week to reset cuz some days teaching are very challenging but
00:12:19
they're just amazing amazing are you in the classroom at all or no you are so
00:12:24
I've got my own classes cuz health is only taught at my school the Juniors only have health once a week so I'm just
00:12:31
a health teacher for those kids so they don't actually they probably wouldn't
00:12:34
even know I'm not there the whole week right what what what does Health mean
00:12:39
they like we do sexuality drug education whole water heaps of stuff on her water nutrition
00:12:47
and like you have to excuse my IGN what's what's is like it's a mar philosophy of Health okay so it's
00:12:53
teaching the kids that Health isn't just physical so mental and emotional social
00:12:57
spiritual and physical oh my God so so what sort of Ages what we teach whole water years 7 8 N9 and 10
00:13:05
so from 11 to 15 16 [ __ ] that's good there was none of that when I was at school I know it was anti antidotal
00:13:14
stuff that you'd have on the school bus on the roide to work with your M honestly it's incredible and I find I'm
00:13:20
so passionate about teaching that stuff that sometimes I've got to like rain it
00:13:24
in cuz I I get not all 30 kids sitting in front of me are just as passionate so sometimes I get really into it and
00:13:30
they're like looking at me like I'm weird it's good that you're passionate
00:13:34
about it though so I thought you were like a PE teacher oh we do health and PE okay so I only teach one PE lesson a
00:13:42
week the rest are all Health cuz health is like what I'm really passionate about
00:13:46
right and when you're teaching the kids health what are like some of the big big
00:13:49
surprises you've got like are you surprised at like how advanced some of the kids are with that stuff that you're
00:13:55
teaching already are you surprised at um some of the things theyve told you about
00:13:59
their drug taking or um I think I find it quite alarming probably the thing that
00:14:06
surprised me the most is that so many kids don't know like their values and who they are
00:14:12
and like I think cuz I'm I'm looking at it Through My Lens of a 27y old but I
00:14:17
really try to get some of them don't even know like their grandparents names oh Nana I'm like yeah but Nana's
00:14:23
got a name like who's Nana like who is Nana and I like encourag them to go and
00:14:28
have conver ations with their family about where they come from and like who they are and things like that and that
00:14:35
probably surprises me the most that there's so many that don't know and I I
00:14:39
do understand and appreciate that for a lot of people that does come later in life but yeah I do encourage the kids to
00:14:44
try and find out a little bit more well that's cool must feel really rewarding
00:14:48
like you're making a difference yeah it is I some days I walk away wanting to
00:14:54
like never go back and I'm like what am I doing here um and then other days I
00:14:58
leave going that was incredible and I can't wait to come back next week yeah
00:15:03
oh that's nice and you you were at school teaching the day that you made the silver F yeah I was I was on
00:15:10
placement yes I wasn't what's that like a relief teacher yeah placement is when
00:15:13
you're still at Uni but you go into the school to like get work experience oh
00:15:17
like almost like an internship yeah kind of yeah yeah so talk us through that day
00:15:21
were you on the were you on the did you know the team was being announced were you on the radar of the selectors
00:15:27
um I was I always say I don't know how how I was selected so I wasn't in the silver Fern
00:15:35
Squad I was in the development Squad and I had been to the youth World Cup and we'd won that and then I had to have 6
00:15:44
months off cuz M had a fra like stress fracture in my back and so I'd only just
00:15:48
kind of got back to training with the mystics and then so I knew it was being announced but I didn't even bet an
00:15:53
eyelid I was it won't be me then I yeah my had an Apple Watch on and it came up
00:15:58
like the silver FS coach ranging and I was like should only be ranging me for one reason and I said to my boss who's
00:16:05
actually still my boss now but he was teaching the class at the time can I can I go outside like trying to get his
00:16:10
attention he yeah and yeah then she told me that I had made the team to go to the
00:16:15
Commonwealth Games oh my God that's amazing yeah so who was that wasn't Dame
00:16:20
noene at the time that was the previous Janine southby right so how long's the
00:16:24
conversation like a minute yeah yeah very brief I guess cuz she's got so many
00:16:28
phone calls to get through and she probably knew that at the time it was a bit of shock so she was like we we we'll
00:16:34
speak again I just wanted to let you know like congratulations then I think I was at the next day I had to be at like
00:16:41
the launch and I was like I'm on placement like I got to got to wrap this up somehow but luckily I went on
00:16:48
placement at my old high school so everyone knew me there so and my boss was my old PE teacher so he was like
00:16:56
yeah you go do whatever you need to do that's amazing so you take that phone
00:17:00
call then um who do you call first what do you do well then I've got to go back
00:17:06
into class and finish the lesson oh you went straight back into class I can't
00:17:09
just walk off and not go back in I would I would have been making it was a short
00:17:14
phone call with the coach you could have made another five qu calls appearance whoever yeah I went back and did that
00:17:21
then it was at lunchtime not too far away so then I just went to my car I think I rang my mom first I always rang
00:17:27
my mom first for anything so R her and then I think my dad and then my auntie and what do you like on those calls you
00:17:34
burst into tears this a this is a big thing right making the national team um I think
00:17:40
because I didn't know it was coming it was more of a shock when I made like the New Zealand
00:17:47
under 21 team that I've been working four years for when I got that called that was that was probably
00:17:55
more emotional because of how much I'd put into get there even though I had put
00:18:00
in work for that team it wasn't like I'd put in work directly to that wasn't my
00:18:05
goal necessarily so it was more shock until I processed what had happened when I got home right so you just gone
00:18:12
through all the steps and this was the next step and it maybe it came a bit quicker than what you yeah like I
00:18:17
thought I might have gone to like the 2022 Commonwealth Games so the 2018 ones weren't really on my radar cuz I hadn't
00:18:24
done anything with the silver ferns leading up to that phone call yeah we with we were the we were the 2018 Comm
00:18:30
with gam Australia the Gold Coast ones oh yeah how did the S fense get on the worst we'd ever done fourth F and at
00:18:36
that time like the silver F hadn't ever done bad so there was just this media
00:18:42
frenzy questioning whether we had passion for the for the dress if we you know if we wanted to be there if we had
00:18:49
Pride there was lots going on around us because of that result oh that's so tough ex yeah I've
00:18:58
had all sorts of people on the podcast including um Susie Bates the cck and she she went to the Olympics as um like a
00:19:05
teenage girl playing um basketball for New Zealand so she went over there and the no one was expecting anything from
00:19:12
the team so it was fine but it must be so much pressure If you go over there and you're expected to medal especially
00:19:18
the silver fans right they're KN one in this country to win or to be there or
00:19:23
thereabouts so to get fourth was like what has happened so did you have like a game that you had to play for someone
00:19:30
gets bronze someone sorry for bringing this up I should have done my research and then
00:19:36
not bought it up no it's okay I because I was so young I didn't how old were
00:19:42
you I don't know 20 yeah 21 because I and I was so new to the team I didn't have to wear the brunt of
00:19:50
it I wasn't doing the media interviews I wasn't a leader in the team so the
00:19:54
leaders wore a lot of it and I was on the bench for most of the game and I'd
00:19:59
come in for maybe half a game a quarter of a game so I didn't yeah I didn't wear
00:20:04
what our senior players had to wear who who were the seniors at the time uh Maria
00:20:09
fellow Katrina Grant we and we had quite a we had a different team like we didn't
00:20:16
have Laura langman wasn't in at that point she came back when NOS came back Casey Coro came back when NOS came back
00:20:22
so the team was sh it was a good team he there was a lot of big names you mention
00:20:26
yeah so was interesting times yeah and know because it happened at the early stage of your career like you probably
00:20:32
learn a lot from it you may not may not feel like it at the time oh massively and especially um as a leader now
00:20:38
looking back at those times and just what they had to go through and yeah I've taken a lot from that experience
00:20:45
more off the court yeah did you have a lot to do with Maria F was she in the mystics with you she was in the mystics
00:20:50
and I she's awesome she um she was so much older when I started so she was kind of like took us her and K
00:20:59
took us under their wing and we were just like there was four of us fresh into the team when we started Mystics
00:21:05
those two were like the mother hens and they were so awesome I was I felt so privileged to be in a team that had
00:21:12
these massive Superstars that growing out watching them like I never thought I'd get to play with them I remember
00:21:17
going home and being like to my mom who obviously loved netball being like Mom like those are my teammates we used to
00:21:24
like watch them on TV and be like how cool are they and now like you know I'm
00:21:28
training alongside them day in and day out yeah were you like a fan girl when you at schol massively massively which
00:21:36
is so funny now because I know her and I know the older girls now but back then I
00:21:40
was like man like you are so cool you were you were you in um in the team with Maria when um cuz I met her a couple of
00:21:49
times she's lovely but this was when she was Maria to then she married Israel Fel were you
00:21:54
were you in the team with her when all the other homophobics [ __ ] that must have been intense yeah she I feel like
00:22:00
she even though she had nothing to do with it at all like she bought the BR on behalf of New Zealand in a way and I
00:22:06
guess I just showed her character she turned up to training um always smiling always positive and just did her job and
00:22:14
it what have I can't imagine how hard that would have been to do when you're
00:22:17
dealing with all of the stuff away from your work but yeah she was incredible but some Next Level professionalism
00:22:24
there is it insane like actually insane to turn up and and I guess cuz we saw her in the changing rooms and at
00:22:33
training and she was still the same positive person that people got to see on game day when she's playing in front
00:22:39
of however many people so yeah huge UPS to her for that oh good stuff okay so yes so you make the silver FS you don't
00:22:47
want to come with games um and then so was there Co just after that is that pretty much are we
00:22:56
where we at now 202 started so 2 years later yeah so you played the silver fans consistently over those I was in the
00:23:04
team consistently from then onwards till 2020 when I got injured but I didn't
00:23:09
always play so Le I would go on tours and like I'd be training I'd be with the team but
00:23:16
I wouldn't always get to take the court right so they were sort of like bleeding
00:23:20
you to be like the next generation of player yeah the sort of player that you're fearful of now when you're out
00:23:25
yeah yeah yeah exactly that exact and like especially me I'm very competitive
00:23:29
yeah yeah what's what's it like on those um silver F tours do you guys have a lot
00:23:33
of fun yeah the girls are awesome it's just like going away with your mates like there's really no other way
00:23:40
to describe it you're French all there for a common goal um one thing that I
00:23:45
really took away from Laura langman when she when I was in building up for the 2019 yeah most 2019 Nial World Cup she
00:23:53
was the captain and I hadn't I didn't know her at all I hadn't done any
00:23:58
netball with her and I always thought she was this real serious hardcore hairry heart out because that's how she
00:24:04
plays netball like she's just a gun and I remember thinking oh how fun are you
00:24:10
going to be off the court honestly off the court fun ass relaxed could like heaps of jokes really
00:24:20
inclusive just an awesome person to lead your team and one thing I've taken from
00:24:25
her is that like on the court you and at training let's say serious and we're
00:24:29
here for a reason but you don't need to take that attitude off coure and I think
00:24:33
that's what the f do well right just that balance yeah and because you need it when you're on tour for like 3 weeks
00:24:40
you want to be able to have some fun yeah oh 100% it's not healthy otherwise
00:24:44
e no and and do you do you share a room with someone else on those yeah you always share a room and it's always
00:24:49
different people they mix it up do they yeah I think the only time you really get to choose is at like a world like a
00:24:55
pinnacle event because you're there with that room mate for so long and it's a
00:25:00
pinnacle event so that I think they want you to feel really comfortable in your environment even though we do like cuz
00:25:05
we're all M so it doesn't matter who you end up with but I think they just like
00:25:08
to give that bit of like Freedom what would um your previous roommate say about you like are you messy are you no
00:25:17
I am you want to know Kate ble she used to be my roommate when we were growing up she was messy she's good now cuz
00:25:22
she's got a Navy boyfriend so you know who whipped her into shape quicksmart um
00:25:28
I'm really tidy I make this noise with my throat when I'm like trying to itch
00:25:33
the back of my throat but I do that in my sleep yeah that yeah that noise I've
00:25:38
had a sinus operation cuz my sinuses were all up the wus so I don't snore anymore but I used to snore and make
00:25:45
that noise so I could imagine that was horrible for anyone rooming with me oh there's nothing worse than rooming with
00:25:50
a SN I know Anna Harrison actually like sneakily told my management once please never put me with
00:25:57
Michaela didn't find that out till like way later when I was like why do we never get to Rome and she was
00:26:02
like well you're annoying you think that try and peer soras together or give
00:26:07
soras their own room does does the captain get their own room no we all sh there's 10 of us in a team well 12 if
00:26:14
you're with the f 10 if you're with your a andz team so we all just buddy up and
00:26:19
what do you do for fun after games you never hear about the um the the netball girls getting in any sort of trouble in
00:26:24
terms of shenanigans antic to be honest it depends on if it's Mystics we go home
00:26:30
s it we're not the party team at all we it's halfway through the season we
00:26:35
haven't even had one night on the beers together which it's just not How We Roll
00:26:40
um I don't actually know why maybe we're boring um and Fs as well like this you
00:26:46
just kind of go home if we're on tour you go back to your hotel and you normally got a game soon so you go back
00:26:52
recover and then you move on to the next city the next day and if the tours ended
00:26:58
like you go home so yeah there's not really big nights out so there's no like
00:27:03
missing curfews and things like that wow well I suppose that's professionalism
00:27:07
isn't it yeah and it we just don't have that culture yeah like you know when it
00:27:13
actually IRS me you know when you watch rugby and they're in the sheds after a
00:27:16
game having a few beers and like they're just relaxing like in my mind that's
00:27:20
relaxing we do not do that at all and I feel like there's this thing around like
00:27:26
being woman we shouldn't drink in our uniform cuz how how people might perceive that but yet the All Blacks
00:27:34
post on Instagram like celebrating a wi with a beb and there's nothing wrong
00:27:39
with that there's even like Stein ler signs in the background it's funny funny
00:27:43
you say that I feel like people would have a problem if we did it or I think that's the perception so we
00:27:48
don't I've um I've had Maya listen on the podcast she said pretty much exactly
00:27:54
the same sort of thing she said she feels like there's this um sort of judgment about you guys even if you go
00:27:58
out for dinner and have wine or something someone would be like mindblowing right like I should be able
00:28:03
to have a wine if I feel like it and if I'm in my kit does it really matter but
00:28:08
it does matter there's this perception that it does matter H cuz there's a
00:28:12
difference between um having a wine after your game and then you know Behaving Badly after having too many
00:28:19
wines a very very clear difference absolutely there's a massive difference yeah and yeah I don't know what it is
00:28:25
about that but yeah well good on you for talking about it cuz I think the more we
00:28:28
talk about it and address it the more chance there is of changing that yeah I think so yeah um so what happened during
00:28:35
the co years so was all games suspended was the AZ cap still on or thez was played yeah at ockland Nall Center under
00:28:43
real strict guidelines with no Spectators okay so so you weren't injured then I was or you were injured
00:28:51
yeah I got injured I got injured in 2020 January in England and I think the a andz started
00:28:58
around marchish March April okay yeah let's talk about that injury in England
00:29:03
then so so this was your left Ares right right Ares so January 2020 you in your right arches what does that mean exactly
00:29:12
your Ares that's yeah the Archilles is like where it connects onto like the heel bone and okay so you land the wrong
00:29:19
way or um well it's like a middle-age man injury so careful that's what my
00:29:25
surgeon on me anyways um no I was warm it was at the first quarter we were having a practice game against England a
00:29:33
leading up to the series and I just like went to change direction and then I looked back to like be like who's who's
00:29:41
kicked me which is like classic Ares rupture pain and no one was there and then I just
00:29:48
remember I probably looked like a Looney Tune I just remember walking off yelling at my physio that I had
00:29:56
ruptured my Archilles and I keep keeps saying that like constantly and he's like trying to be like yeah okay we'll
00:30:02
do the test I'm like you don't need to do the test I'm telling you I've
00:30:04
ruptured my AR killes and I'm like Loki freaking out because you know the severity of it yeah I know that that's
00:30:11
like I'm I've just well cuz I was a reserve for the 2019 World Cup I went
00:30:17
all the way to England I wasn't needed I came home I was then in the series at
00:30:22
the end of 2019 and I felt like it was really my time to like wave the flag for my position and show them that I was
00:30:29
ready and to know that I and I'd been training really really well and I just
00:30:34
the entire summer I had done nothing but train I was like I'm taking this opportunity with both hands so to know
00:30:42
that I just essentially ripped off my bib and gave it away like that's what I knew I had just
00:30:52
lost so it wasn't even the injury the injury didn't like hurt massively it was
00:30:56
more the shock of what I'm losing why does it take so long to recover from it um you have well you
00:31:04
don't have to have surgery but I chose to have surgery it's just like a 9mon
00:31:08
like you can't start running till like four five months cuz it's got the
00:31:11
tendon's got to heal then by the time you start running you got to learn to then jump again because the tendons used
00:31:18
like it's so elastic that you need it to jump well to move well to take off accelerate so you need time to build all
00:31:26
that back up but for four five months you can't do anything apart from upper
00:31:30
body weights are you are you good with patience and following like physial orders uh depends on what physio you ask
00:31:38
some might say no some might say yes um with this I was because I didn't want to
00:31:46
reard it yeah but we didn't have any what's it called like obstacles like
00:31:53
if you were walking at 3 weeks without crutches well it was actually more like 8 weeks but I ticked at every single
00:32:01
like tick box oh at four weeks you should be doing that I was doing it so I got all the way through my first rehab
00:32:08
with like no complications so I was I would say I was patient and I was very diligent if I was
00:32:15
told to do 50 of this and 50 of that that's what I did right so so when it when it happens um like how do you react
00:32:23
immediately see you know you cool down the adrenaline starts to wear off then what
00:32:28
um then we I got taken to hospital just to like check that it was just there so me and the mental skills person and Fs
00:32:37
Rod he ended up being my buddy he has driven me around lots of places because of various things and so we'll go after
00:32:46
the hospital in England and if anyone's ever been in the English A&E on a
00:32:50
Saturday night we witnessed a few interesting things which was fun because it allowed us to like you know have
00:32:57
conversations about other things um and then yeah we put on a plane the next day
00:33:03
back to New Zealand to start my recovery but you're with this guy right are you are you um
00:33:10
laughing and joking at the other the drunk people oh we are laughing and joking we've got like guys blood coming
00:33:16
out of everywhere it's like spewing behind us intoxicated people and we're
00:33:21
just sitting there like thinking well I'm like I guess it could be worse like
00:33:26
but but deep down you must be devastating right yeah yeah and I remember the first thing I
00:33:32
did again was Ring my mom I'm still on the sideline I was I just need to talk
00:33:36
to somebody that's not in this bubble rang her I'm like hey Mom it's early in
00:33:42
the morning over there I don't care what the time as I just rang and she's like
00:33:46
what are you doing I was like I've ruptured my eye kees she a oh that's a
00:33:51
shame like you'll be okay I was like thinking first of all if I could come through the phone and like strangle yeah
00:33:59
like you do we know what I'm saying to you and I'm like Mom like I'm out yeah
00:34:04
short Yeah couple of days like like she didn't really know and I was like no Mom
00:34:08
like I'm on I'll be coming back home and I'll be having surgery and I will not be
00:34:12
doing anything for the rest of the year and then she just started crying and then she was like okay it's okay like
00:34:17
then mom's like do you need me to fly to England and come and get you I was like
00:34:21
no like I'm no I don't need you to do that like I'll get myself home um just
00:34:26
pick me up from the airport and that okay like whatever you need I'm here so
00:34:30
do you when she starts crying do you start crying you must felt like I was probably already crying when wrong but I
00:34:36
actually don't know if I was crying I just trying to explain to her what an Ares Rapture was and from a from a
00:34:44
professional perspective that guy Rod the mental skills coach is there anything that that he says or does
00:34:49
that's impactful um or is it just like being the he just tries to we just chat
00:34:55
about random stuff he he's highly trained he probably knows that I don't
00:34:59
want to sit there and talk about it all right now so we just chewed the fat about everything but pretty
00:35:05
much yeah cuz I suppose there I mean it is what it is right there's nothing you
00:35:09
can do yeah apart from try to figure out a plan to move forward yeah right so you
00:35:15
come home um so again this is early 2020 yeah um so so lockdown starts so you sort of recovering on crutches during
00:35:23
yeah I it must have been a relief in a way cuz you feel like you're not missing
00:35:26
out on anything kind of but then I've got nobody to help me rehab so the day I
00:35:34
came out of my moon boot just and that's when I was like right we're going to
00:35:37
ramp up the rehab now came out of my moon Boot and the next day we went into lockdown so I was so like grateful for
00:35:43
my trainer guy and the physio Mark they would be on Zoom with me every day or every second day taking me through all
00:35:50
of my exercises my dad built me a bench pru out of scaffold um he built me a leg press out
00:35:58
of some plywood in this weird exercise machine thing we had and then yeah Mark and Guy literally sat on zoom and we're
00:36:06
like right do this do that do this do that and just coach me through my entire rehab but your parents s amazing oh
00:36:13
they're I'm I'm so incredibly lucky there they they still together yeah
00:36:16
they're still together they and they became if anyone has ever had to have their parents help them with their
00:36:24
training I ended up having to be a coach cuz I had to coach them how to play and
00:36:30
pass and N ball so that I could train properly cuz you couldn't have anybody
00:36:33
asked we live together so it needed to be them and like I would need them to pass to each other so I could practice
00:36:39
intercepting and no I spent half the I spent half the time coaching them how and where to pass so that I could do a
00:36:46
proper intercept then I just went and bought a rebounder thing that I didn't
00:36:50
need them as much but yeah they helped me with all of my rehab and like no matter what time of day what they were
00:36:56
doing I like right this time tomorrow we got to go that spend two hours with me an now with me helping me with my rehab
00:37:03
you seem very driven even perhaps a little bit stubborn is do you think that's from your your your M's M's side
00:37:10
that croa c c they're staunch and they stubbing yeah yeah is there a bit of that in you you yeah absolutely what
00:37:17
about you too much sometimes oh no but it's got you where you are and it's got
00:37:20
you this um incredible resilience and sort of fighting Power that you got what about from your dad's side what are your
00:37:26
traits there that you I I would say I am more my dad but get the stubbornness and
00:37:34
the croa the croation fire from my mom I'm very loud and abrupt um but my dad
00:37:40
is extremely hardworking not to say my mom's not no but my dad is very hardworking and
00:37:47
just he's hard to explain he he's incredible and I've learned a lot from him and he's a lot
00:37:54
more patient than I am and he thinks sings through a lot more than I necessarily do but yeah he's very
00:38:03
hardworking diligent and he's provided so much for our family so yeah I would
00:38:08
say I'm like him in ways but you're like Mom too oh what a nice compliment and
00:38:12
what a nice mix yeah yes I say my other brother James is more like my mom but he
00:38:18
wouldn't like me saying that well what do they do what are your older brothers
00:38:21
do um My Brother Sam he's an engineer and my other brother James Works in like
00:38:26
demolition both super successful like really successful and we're all super close as a family which is nice yeah
00:38:33
that's neat okay so so the 2020 year so you you're rehabbing you're doing
00:38:38
everything you're supposed to do um so the the Mystic season continues a yeah
00:38:45
how weird is that are you still involved in the squad like are you no or you no I
00:38:50
am and that's probably where that stubbornness and um love for netball really flourished in 201 20 so you're
00:38:58
just wandering around on crutches or a moon just being in that environment sitting up to meetings yeah I I went to
00:39:04
everything apart from gym because I had to do all my own rehab I wouldn't go to
00:39:09
their gyms because I needed like one-on-one kind of support and help so I would do all of my rehab away from the
00:39:17
team and then I would turn up to all of the team trainings and team meetings I literally didn't miss any I was there
00:39:23
every game and every meeting and I ended up being assistant coach because Helen our coach at the time we didn't have one
00:39:30
so I ended up being assistant coach and manager I did all these random jobs well
00:39:35
why um with the benefit of hindsight why did you why were you then involved and Hands-On with when there's nothing you
00:39:40
could do was it I just love my team and I and I think because I knew I wanted to
00:39:46
be back and I knew the only way I could be back is if I still develop my netball
00:39:52
brain and you can develop that when you're not playing by watching by having
00:39:56
coaching conversations to be like okay if I had gone here or done that would that have changed that and I feel like I
00:40:02
play netball differently now than I did before because I understand the game better well that's really cool yeah so
00:40:13
yeah yeah yeah and I suppose it's also um even if this is subliminal it's like
00:40:17
hey don't forget about me I'm still here oh absolutely and I'm well aware of that
00:40:20
and I think out of side out of mind and I was I was not leaving this realm I want to be part of this this team and I
00:40:28
want people to want me to be part of this team that's hunger isn't it wow that's the creation yeah that is
00:40:37
stenness that's awesome so you so it gets to the point where you're you're
00:40:41
rehabed and you're playing again yeah so it got 8 and a half months down well got
00:40:47
eight months down the track and I was able to start like training with like the team again I somehow got put back so
00:40:56
I got injured I didn't in January play didn't play the a andz season but they rename at the end
00:41:02
of the a andz season a silver F Squad and I got put back in the squad because they knew I was going to be ready for
00:41:09
the international season in some sort of capacity so I ended up going to the trials that they have or like the camp
00:41:17
they had and I ended up making like the development team which is called nza and
00:41:23
we were going to play the ferns the men and not sure who else and so that was 8 and 1/2 months post
00:41:30
rupture so I was essentially back and we were in another warm-up game against like a put together team before the cry
00:41:39
series and then that's when I ruptured my other Ares so same injury again but
00:41:44
on the other on the other leg Yeah like what like what are the chances it was literally 9 months to the day like it
00:41:51
was like literally nine months later bang and and straight away you're not yeah oh I knew
00:41:58
I knew right oh my God I actually didn't know this for months till months later
00:42:04
but I just stood there with my head and my hands sobbing and then just yelling if bombs like if bomb after if bomb
00:42:12
after if bomb to her just to yourself just my well out loud to like the universe whoever was listening whoever
00:42:17
had brought such misery upon me and the go shoot I was playing Goldie I think the gold Shir thought that I was
00:42:24
swearing at her and that like I I think she thought I thought she'd hurt like she'd kick me but I I knew I
00:42:32
had just changed Direction it had gone she wasn't even anywhere near me and it
00:42:36
wasn't until months later I don't even know who she is to apologize be like I
00:42:39
wasn't swearing to you like so it's a gold shoot from that random Gamers
00:42:43
listening I know it wasn't you it was all me so um yeah so then what are you
00:42:50
with thato Rod again yeah Rod's there there Rod's there see Rod is always
00:42:54
there in times of need he always is there to help me is is he is he like a team into schools coach is he your
00:43:00
personal seems like he's got time for nobody else no he doesn't he's he's he
00:43:04
may as well be on my payroll because he has helped me through some things but yeah he's there and then how is it
00:43:11
different this time or is it not different oh it's and the and the same physio was there and the same strength
00:43:17
and conditioner were there um except this time like all our hearts broke because like I had just like literally
00:43:24
it was my first game like it only just got back um so we all really felt the pain
00:43:30
of that one um and I remember Rock Rod took me back to the hotel and like I just remember sitting
00:43:41
on the floor of where when palmon north of all places I was just like why couldn't have we been in ockland um and
00:43:48
I just remember sitting on the hotel floor and just being like get me out of here like get me home but I couldn't get
00:43:53
home cuz it was at night time and I wasn't so me my mom again oh come get you I was like no don't I don't want to
00:43:59
sit in a car for hour a many hours stay at home I'll fly in the morning and then
00:44:02
your Rod took me to the airport and I flew home and I actually remember crouching down like the terminal to get
00:44:10
to the baggage claim and my parents were there and I just remember like I don't
00:44:15
know what came over me but I saw my mom and my dad and I just like cried this loud like someone you know when someone
00:44:21
had like passed away and there just horrible loud cries that was me and that middle of the airport and I remember the
00:44:29
article went live on Silver's page and people had commented like yeah I seen
00:44:33
her in the airport she was really devastated and another lady was like yeah I was on the plane on the way home
00:44:39
with her she didn't stop crying the whole way and I was like yeah okay thanks for telling everybody like no one
00:44:45
else needed to know that but yeah the second one was hard to deal with especially because it was like i' only
00:44:53
just got back it only been back two weeks yeah I mean yeah the the timing the just the timing and also you know
00:45:00
like you're fresh off that road to recovery so you know exactly what's involved all over again ex exactly I
00:45:05
knew we exactly what to expect except the first one took me 9 months to recover from the next one took me 18 the
00:45:13
first one had no hurdles or obstacles the other one only had hurdles and obstacles what were the what were they H
00:45:20
it would like everything um everything that could go wrong yeah went wrong like their scar wasn't healing
00:45:28
and then like the pain like I haven't had one even since that rupture in 2020 I haven't had a painfree
00:45:37
day in that arili since even like to this day and so dealing with that and then that's when I got diagnosed with
00:45:43
the sertic arthritis and then they ultrasound my arches and they then my rheumatologist is like oh your arches
00:45:50
could snap at any time like all of this Doppler is inflammation in the Ares so we had to completely halt
00:45:57
all and I just started running again and I was like GH so I had to completely stop all running and jumping so go like
00:46:05
way back in my rehab get medication on board to get hopefully settled down the inflammation it was just a really long
00:46:13
emotional process how I so the day after you you're crying in the plane as we
00:46:18
know thanks social media got us in is it nowhere that secret I know and then you're crying at the airport when when
00:46:25
did the when did the tears stop when do you managed to sort of compart compartmentalize it and go okay this is
00:46:30
um like the next day yeah really yeah I don't yeah the next day I'm not a big
00:46:35
crier you just got it getting it out and STP it and then my dad actually took me
00:46:41
to my surgeon's office and we the next day which actually it was that day Dad
00:46:45
was out buying The Lawns and I was like Dad stews Rong we got to go and Dad's
00:46:49
like like I don't even they know if you turn the lawn M off he raced inside he
00:46:53
was like yep yep got his keys got in the car and like we headed off for the appointment so yeah I like when I know
00:47:00
I've got a plan in place I can kind of move forward but how how was your mental
00:47:05
health over that time um it got to a point actually where I did really struggle and i' I'd bought my own house
00:47:12
by this time so I'd moved out and I love my parents so much I bought a house four doors up from them so I
00:47:21
remember one day like it probably got to the point where I couldn't hold in how I
00:47:26
was feeling anymore like I was really really struggling and so I just remember like building up the car and which is so
00:47:33
funny cuz I'm so close with my parents like they know everything about me even
00:47:37
if I've made mistakes growing up as a kid like dumb things you know that young
00:47:40
kids teenagers do I've confess to my parents and be like Oh and they don't
00:47:45
need to know like it's over I hav hurt anybody but I'd always have to tell my
00:47:50
parents like cuz I just was that's a relationship we had and that's why I
00:47:55
understand why like people say about me to house just ask for help I was like I've got the most amazing relationships
00:48:02
with my parents and even I struggled to ask for help but I finally built up the courage to go down there and I just sat
00:48:07
there and I just like yeah was like I'm struggling and I just remember balling
00:48:12
my eyes out and I think I was like five or 6 months post rupture so like i' been
00:48:16
on the rehab Journey a while and they just like to Boom TV went off full attention on me and we're like
00:48:23
we've got you we know like if you want to give we don't blame you like you've been
00:48:30
through enough like you can stop and I remember thinking I don't want to stop
00:48:33
though and they were like sweet like what do we need to do we've got you and
00:48:37
that's when I think they cranked up the nipple training partner mode and we're
00:48:41
like we'll do whatever it takes to help you like what do you need from us and I
00:48:45
was just like to be honest I don't need anything from you I just need you to
00:48:48
know I'm not okay but I will be okay like don't worry about me I just need
00:48:53
you to know that I'm struggling cuz it's a tough one cuz I supp the two options are a just just
00:48:58
giving up which is understandable or B just plowing on through but you know how [ __ ] hard the the road ahead is yeah
00:49:06
is that what you were just like just daunted by that yeah I and just knowing that I was doing like the same thing day
00:49:14
in day out and I was going to Mystics training and was like this real positivity still cuz now I'm in my
00:49:21
second season on the bench for Mystics too so I've just watched my teammates do a whole season without me
00:49:28
and now I've got to watch them do a whole another season without me and I loved going to training but man it took
00:49:33
a lot some days to put on this real cuz no one wants a mopy sulky person who's
00:49:39
the sad girl in the stay home if you're going to sulk um so I made a real effort
00:49:43
to like try and be like positive for them but then I got to the point where like then I'd come home and I had none
00:49:49
for myself I had no positive energy to give myself so realizing that was probably huge for me as well while and
00:49:57
then also realizing that once I told my parents it was easier to keep talking about it and to keep being to keep
00:50:05
saying yeah I'm not good today or I'm okay today and just keep trying to find
00:50:10
ways to like bring joy to my own life yeah how how did you do that just by trying to do things my parents have got
00:50:17
a boat so like we I remember we'd go out on the boat quite a bit and just like
00:50:22
being out on the ocean was nice and just doing things that weren't nbol all weren't rehab cuz they took up so much
00:50:29
in my day why um what did keep you going why didn't you give up I mean you know
00:50:36
because you you you're very good at nitb but it's not like who defines it's not
00:50:39
what defines you like you've got a great job as a teacher you've got some
00:50:42
qualifications behind you yeah I just love it yeah and like I think I'd had like 11 11 caps in the silver ferns at
00:50:50
that point and I really I really wanted more and I knew I could contribute to the like the greater good of a team and
00:50:58
I really wanted to see myself achieve more and at that time I was young and like I knew I I had time if I was at 30
00:51:08
oh don't get me wrong I would have been H hanging up the boots and been like see
00:51:11
you later but cuz I was young enough to make a comeback that's kind of what kept
00:51:16
me going knowing that I had time oh it's inspir the drive is inspirational especially from where like from where
00:51:23
you are now and what you've been through since coming back um is this the biggest
00:51:27
adversity you've ever been through in your life uh yeah I yeah y y and that's a
00:51:34
thing and that's probably another thing that I really really struggled with it
00:51:38
happened just before Co so you're seeing people's lives get turned upside down
00:51:43
every single day you hear stories in the media of all these people losing jobs losing family members and not being able
00:51:49
to be by their family members sides like you just saw all of this and then so it played into who am I to complain
00:51:59
like perspective cuz what's happened to me is actually nothing compared to other
00:52:03
people but it was so hard cuz to me it was the end of my world so I was like balancing like trying not to talk about
00:52:10
it to other people because of what other people are going through so it's like
00:52:13
this weird conflicting time in the world and then it was a weird conflicting time
00:52:19
in my little world yeah misery misery comparisons were dangerous so I was like oh I've got nothing to complain about
00:52:27
really like but you still do though yeah but that was weird and hard and to navigate what were the um did that guy
00:52:33
Rod give you any any like useful tips or tricks or pointers that yeah we talked a
00:52:37
lot the one thing that like he itched he said it once but somehow itched onto my
00:52:44
brain was how many times have you played and trade netball in your whole entire life I was like I'd hate to know like
00:52:52
thousands is how many times have you raptured your arules and I was like oh well tce he's like well so the odds or
00:52:58
like the percentage is so so slim and cuz I did have like a bit of PTSD after my my second IES rupture like
00:53:07
anytime that someone would like trip up my heart would pound at like 100 miles an hour and I would like start like
00:53:14
sweating and then I like couldn't watch the training for a little bit and I had
00:53:18
to like regulate and I could watch again and I just had this fear that every single person every time they slightly
00:53:25
hurt like fell or did had hurt thems like badly um so I had to like get over there but then yeah and so when I came
00:53:33
back I just had that in my mind every time I was warming up and I was like you got to be Fearless otherwise there's no
00:53:38
point being in this training so I would just dump those feelings and train yeah 100% And what biggest learnings about
00:53:46
yourself are you tougher than what you thought you were or oh I always knew I was tough I always knew I was tough but
00:53:52
but this is like next level tough though this is a lot to be thrown at one person
00:53:57
yeah um I probably just learned that if you want something you can you can get after it and it taught me that I
00:54:05
actually really do enjoy what I do and that when it was taken away from me I was devastated because I love it so much
00:54:11
um so it's nice to know that I actually enjoy what I'm doing yeah that's saying
00:54:14
you don't know what you've lost until it's gone yeah did did you have any um I
00:54:18
know there was a lot of like Physical Therapy but what about like mental therapy you go do any therapy or
00:54:22
anything during this time yeah I I we've got this really awesome we got like a Players Association and
00:54:29
through them we can reach out to counselors so I did reach out to a couple but people do say that like you
00:54:35
don't always connect with somebody yeah sometimes when I started therapy that's why um
00:54:41
some some friends said to me they said it's like going on a a tnder date yeah
00:54:45
you got to we ofie if we find the right one I met my man on Bumble so I understand but yeah I so I had a few
00:54:52
conversations with different ones but I didn't feel like it really landed with
00:54:56
me yeah um so I just went back to my mate Rod cuz he like he's also like he's
00:55:02
not there to be like a counselor he's there to like help us with like our performance mindset and things like that
00:55:08
and so I really tried not to go to him cuz I just wanted to have a cry and wanted to understand but then I realized
00:55:14
well to be honest I can go back to my friend Rod who who is this guy he's come up a
00:55:19
lot what's his last name what uh Corbin he does Rod Corbin mental skills coach
00:55:24
for he does like lots with Cricket hockey meatball he does Lots with lots of different sports I might have to get
00:55:29
him on the podcast you've spoken very highly about him today because he like
00:55:33
because he is involved in all of my injuries so you like you know he needs some mention and um I so so so you get
00:55:41
over both the AR kelles when when do you start playing again when's that is that
00:55:45
where are we at now is that the start of that would have been so once I got over
00:55:49
that it what do we would have been 2022 2022 years and um that was when the um the silver FS won um a silver medal at
00:55:57
the common worth games I think that was in bingh so I I played that 2022 a andz season that I didn't play that well okay
00:56:06
so it's for the mystics and yeah okay was my first year back in two years and
00:56:11
like I played every game and I didn't play bad but I didn't play like how I
00:56:17
normally would play yeah why was that you lost like match Fitness or no I was I was fit like I was really fit cuz all
00:56:24
I was doing was running you know what I mean playing playing Fitness a different
00:56:28
sort of thing I just my skill set was probably not as sharp as it needed to be I would say was the main thing okay so
00:56:34
you're back playing again um but you weren't good enough to be selected for
00:56:38
the silver fans no um which I knew as well like when I I was gutted I didn't
00:56:43
make the any squads but I wasn't surprised that makes sense like I I didn't cry I didn't think oh me
00:56:51
I was I like I didn't I was like I I don't deserve to be there yeah and I I
00:56:56
knew that so it was it was okay okay did did you watch the games though they were
00:57:00
oh yeah absolutely like I said a big nipple fan over here right and and I suppose they're all your friends and
00:57:04
stuff abolutely so you didn't have a sense of like fomo when they won a medal
00:57:08
no okay they deserved to be there and they had to work really hard for that medal and they yeah and then what about
00:57:13
2023 that was the netball World Cup um you missed out on that as well I did indeed I did inde that one hurt that one
00:57:22
cut real deep yeah did it why did that one hurt um I thought that in 2023 this is obviously my personal
00:57:29
opinion I'm not a selector or anything I thought that I had had the best year of net i' ever had in my life
00:57:37
um I I and I felt like I was I felt like I was the best Wing defense in the a andz
00:57:45
I was turning over good ball I was attacking well I was leading down the defensive end well I just felt like I
00:57:50
was on and I was like firing and and Mystics won last year and we won so the the nipple cup so that was after the a
00:57:57
andz competition so I I remember I remember being by my I knew that squads and stuff was getting announced like I
00:58:07
wasn't in any squad so I didn't get any communication but obviously my friends
00:58:11
know so I'm like when is I'm texting them when are we when is everyone finding out what's the go cuz I know I
00:58:16
know that girls find out before media right cuz like you've got to can't just
00:58:20
find out because you're reading the news and I remember my phone didn't ring
00:58:27
and I remember sitting in the New World Car Park like by my house and the the media release like came out with the
00:58:34
names of people that had been selected and like I was not even like a training partner I was I was nowhere I was
00:58:41
nothing and I remember boiling my eyes out cuz I just thought man out of any time in my entire nipple career for any
00:58:50
team I've ever wanted I wanted that more than anything and I had worked so hard
00:58:56
to get that and to not get it I was yeah then I didn't even make the silver Fern
00:59:03
Squad if like they came back from the Nal World Cup and I wasn't even in the
00:59:07
squad and I and that's when it dawned on me oh I'm not if I can play like that
00:59:13
and still not be wanted oh I'm out they just don't want me at all did you think
00:59:18
that was an age thing or do they give you any cuz I know the old blacks give um like dropped players or players that
00:59:24
are on the front some work on I get everyone gets feedback yeah yeah what sort of what what feedback did you get
00:59:30
no get more ball defensively like you know just just nipple specific feedback that everyone would get how long how
00:59:39
long were you upset for before it turned to like a rage I I remember posting in my family
00:59:46
group chat being like I didn't make it and then going I was at the supermarket
00:59:52
to go home and cook dinner I remember just going to my mom's and just probably
00:59:56
raging then a bit and and not raging and then when I take a step back there's two
01:00:04
cutting you've had on your podcast and there's Kate Heff and they don't play
01:00:08
they last year in 2023 they don't play Wing defense in the A and Z but they can
01:00:14
play Wing defense at ferns level like the coach will slide them there so when I look at the when I put take my
01:00:20
emotional head off and put my selector head on I can understand why why I wasn't selected and I understand that
01:00:26
those two cover that position and they're incredible athletes so after I raged about myself when I stepped back
01:00:34
and kind of took my yeah put my coach's head on I can understand why I didn't
01:00:37
make the team and like I was actually okay with it in the end but at the time I was very upset and and it's okay to
01:00:44
rage especially in your you're in a circle like stages of grief or whatever it is you're allowed to go through these
01:00:50
things but I can understand that you had a great year yeah I did and I felt like
01:00:53
I did I was like what else do I need to do so so where are things at now so we're in 2024 now um it's AZ A&Z cup at
01:01:01
the time we're recording this you were what third on the table yeah you're
01:01:04
where you should be um do the the silver FS for this year get announced yeah after this well we actually had trials
01:01:14
to go to the northern tour in December and I actually made it back into the fs so in January I went with the F to
01:01:20
England and I played like a four match series with the F so I'm like feel like
01:01:24
I'm I'm back yeah and that was incredible but it was almost like a feeling of
01:01:33
like how do I explain it you know when you're like in in the moment and it's
01:01:38
not too later that you reflect back on it and being like man I did that when I was in the when I was
01:01:44
actually in England living living it I remember walking into the stadium looking up and being like man I did it
01:01:51
like I'm here like how freaking cool is this and my mom actually flew over to
01:01:56
what cuz like she would never not she wouldn't miss 5 years of me not being in
01:02:00
the F she would not be missing it for anything and I just remember being like to her we had a bit of downtime and I
01:02:06
went to Hotel I'm like we're actually here like we did it and it wasn't just me who
01:02:13
had done it like my parents had done it too to get me back there so it was a really um heartfelt tour for me even
01:02:23
though I didn't play a whole lot I still played a bit and just yeah knowing that
01:02:27
I even if I never make it back there again knowing I did it I'm like that's
01:02:31
cool yeah and just how much harder you to work than anyone else there I got I got bumps just hearing that that's a
01:02:37
great story God that's a lot yeah it's a lot that was yeah what was that moment
01:02:42
with your mom just like a sense of just overwhelming Pride yeah it was like yeah just looking up finding her in
01:02:52
the stands first of all and just looking at her and connecting with her and being
01:02:55
like we did it and then just once you're playing you're just playing you forget about everything
01:02:59
you're in the zone but yeah that and the whole tour I just and every team meeting
01:03:03
I just remember cuz no's the coach she's so incredible and I remember like taking
01:03:08
in everything she's saying and trying to contribute the best I can cuz I'm I
01:03:12
might never be back so may as well like enjoy every moment and take every single
01:03:16
opportunity you can so so Dame Noland did she give you the call in the beginning of the year to say you're in
01:03:22
that she said after the trials had finished she came and sat with me and she said you're in I'm taking you and I
01:03:30
was like and they were taking training partners and I was like I'm I in or am I
01:03:34
H in like what what in are you talking about and she just like kind of like paded me on the back and she was like
01:03:41
you've like you've worked so incredibly hard cuz no has been there for the whole
01:03:45
journey she was there when I ruptured both the AR's like she'd been on the
01:03:48
meetings to hear if I'm in or if I'm out or what's happening so she knows as well
01:03:52
and she's heard through the snc and the videos how hard I've had to work so yeah
01:03:56
it was really a nice moment for her to be like n you've you deserve this enjoy
01:04:01
your enjoy like just go and enjoy your opportunity oh that's amazing so it was
01:04:05
really nice that is so cool what what makes her such a good coach everyone speaks really highly I know they do way
01:04:12
I I like her style like she about old school in terms of I guess her approach she she doesn't she's
01:04:22
not there to be a best friend not saying she's not friendly in approachable but
01:04:26
she's not there to be your best friend she's the coach to get the best out of
01:04:29
us and I love that and I also don't want my coach to be my best friend like I've
01:04:34
got enough of them um and just when she speaks you want to listen you know some people are just like that a like she
01:04:44
some real Mana yeah absolutely and like I it's hard to describe unless you're in the room but I just really
01:04:52
enjoy her company and I resp and I guess cuz the level of respect I have for her
01:04:57
is so high that's why when she speaks it holds so much weight and value and when
01:05:03
I was younger in the environment I probably struggled to connect with her a little bit because of my own stuff I was
01:05:12
maybe scared to go talk to her I I didn't know how to approach but now I'm
01:05:16
older going back in oh sweet is if I want feedback I've got to go get it if I
01:05:22
want to understand something more I've got to go and so felt like when I was in
01:05:26
in jry I was able to have a better connection with her because she isn't going to make sure that I understand
01:05:36
everything 100% And that it's my responsibility to go to her and I felt like I got a lot out of her cuz I was
01:05:43
willing to go and approach just as much does that make sense that makes a lot of
01:05:49
sense that makes So like um there's a book I read by this guy called Joo willink he's like a Navy SEAL dude it's
01:05:54
called Extreme ownership and it's about just like taking control of everything yourself yes and I be
01:06:00
proactive go and ask her for feedback and cuz she's not scary or she seems scar oh like I mean I'd probably be
01:06:07
scared of her if she was yelling at me but she is she a yell Noah she's not um
01:06:12
but yeah she's just awesome and you're right she's got so much mana and yeah
01:06:16
you really want to listen when she's speaking what's your career highlight so
01:06:20
far would it be making the fs for the first time winning um with the mystics last year making it back into the silver
01:06:26
FS at the beginning of this year my career highlight is actually winning gold at the youth World Cup in
01:06:34
Botswana just because of how much went into that like we were young we were 16 year olds get selected for this under 21
01:06:42
Squad and man we grinded they had us in the gym like We're Young we're at Uni
01:06:46
we're at school we're going like 3 four mornings a week at 6:00 a.m. to do
01:06:50
strength and conditioning I've never done strength and conditioning in my life at this point learning all these
01:06:55
new things getting all this conditioning work track shuttles all these things I'd
01:07:00
never done before and man at camps they absolutely like pummeled us for four years they trained us into the ground
01:07:08
like it was amazing don't get me wrong but it was hard and a week be and then I got
01:07:14
selected in that team and then I got made captain of that team wow and then like maybe a week before me my mom and
01:07:21
dad and the team would du to fly out to Botswana my n passed away and she was like Liv around the corner
01:07:29
from my house so really super close with my grandparents and then so I had the funeral my whole team came that was
01:07:37
incredible then I just left my entire family to go to the other side of the world to play in this tournament that
01:07:43
I'd worked so hard for and I remember my parents came a few days later and my mom
01:07:47
just looked you can imagine if your mom had just passed away right especially cuz my mom and her mom were so close my
01:07:53
mom just like drained and I just remember thinking my poor mom is here on the other side of the world and her mom has
01:08:01
just passed away to support me like we've got to like we have to win this like like and I and then the night
01:08:12
before the final I was asleep and my nana like came to me in a dream and she actually had her leg amputated cuz she
01:08:20
had diabetes and she in her dream we were flicking in my dream we were flicking through a photo album and she
01:08:27
had both legs and she was really Housey looking before she passed away she wasn't like looking very good and she
01:08:33
just looked like beautiful and radiant and like she held my hand and she's like
01:08:38
I'm good like I'm I'm good like don't worry about me like and I remember
01:08:44
waking up and just boiling my eyes out to be like holy heck and then I just remember like like telling
01:08:54
Mom like she like she's okay like we can let her go and we can go [ __ ] win
01:08:59
this thing and then so yeah winning that was like the most incredible moment and
01:09:04
just having my mom and dad there and then my granddad who we left back in New Zealand was with my auntie on FaceTime
01:09:10
and just that we could celebrate that moment together was like honestly we still talk about it as family today like
01:09:16
that was just an incredible moment for to win but to be together to celebrate all of that was just like I didn't foret
01:09:23
and that dream as well I know it's in your own mind that it's still powerful
01:09:28
yeah yeah like it was and just like at the timing timing of it all and it just really got me
01:09:35
through that one more game cuz at that time it's a tournament and you're
01:09:38
exhausted and you're like got to go play Australia and a 60-minute final like get
01:09:43
up again one more time so um so so last year the mystics won um the a cup and um
01:09:49
you were Sulu Fitzpatrick was um the captain and that was like her last game what a send off and then you you took
01:09:56
over did you were you like ear to be captain or you get shoulder tapped how do you find out you Captain that's a big
01:10:03
responsibility in a big honor I had been like the Vice Captain for like 5 years okay so like I'd been there for a while
01:10:10
like even maybe longer um so I'd always you're like Prince Charles waiting
01:10:16
waiting for the queen I'd always been in a leadership role at Mystic since like
01:10:19
my second year in the team um but I said to Tia I I really don't want to lead this I
01:10:26
really don't want to lead this team if they don't want me to lead like can you
01:10:30
please put a survey out like ask the girls who they want cuz if it's not me I
01:10:34
don't want to do it um like that would just be weird right like you need you
01:10:39
got to have the backing you got have the backing otherwise it's hard and like I
01:10:42
would I am happy not to do it if they think somebody else was better for the job um turns out they did choose me so I
01:10:50
got the job and you'd hope so after 5 years as Vice you know what I'm going to just
01:10:56
relinquish all duties at this point somebody else can do it um probably just cuz the girls also know how much I love
01:11:03
the team and I will do anything for the team so they probably thought oh yeah she can deal with all of that extra
01:11:09
stuff yeah and from what we've talked about in the last hour like you probably
01:11:12
like proved yourself with how you how you held yourself uh when you were not playing as much as how you've held
01:11:18
yourself on the court I don't know yeah and probably cuz they're like oh she's
01:11:23
been waiting long enough to do the job just give it to her she's not going to go away otherwise um
01:11:28
what about goal setting plans for the future uh plans for the future honestly like just be healthy like I'm
01:11:36
really realistic about my future um I take it year by year like if my body's
01:11:42
not going to allow me to do it I I'm not even 30 yet um I've still need to live
01:11:47
in this body for a really long time so if I'm going to keep smashing it into
01:11:51
the ground I've got to be prepared to not be able to do much later in and I don't want to do that so in terms
01:11:58
of sport my goals are just to take it year by so I don't really have any um I
01:12:04
like I'd love to get back in the ferns at the end of the a andz season I'd love
01:12:07
to win this a andz season I'd love to play good netball but as far as that goes not much you how
01:12:15
old what are you 277 yeah are you worried about life post netball and how that's going to look in terms of you
01:12:21
know your your physical carcass yeah am a bit and that's why I'm trying to be
01:12:26
really proactive and looking after myself now but also not trying to plan too far ahead in case I actually can't
01:12:32
get there yeah yeah cuz you don't want to be like a a 35y old mom that that's you're
01:12:39
rubbing your knees before you go to back with you I want to teach my kids like that they can't beat me in anything
01:12:46
physical until they're at least like 17 like I want to be really competitive
01:12:50
like owning them in all Backyard Sports not like being the on the sideline cuz I
01:12:56
can't move and what about outside of netball what are you into what do you do
01:13:00
um to be honest I'm really thinking hard about that I don't think I want to be a
01:13:04
teacher I but I don't know what I want to do I love education and I love teaching about health but I would love
01:13:11
to go and somehow teach it to people who really want to be there like and I don't
01:13:16
know who that is but like maybe adult education in some way or some form but I don't know what that looks
01:13:24
like and what about coaching you mention you did a bit of your a bit of coaching
01:13:29
when you were no no that seems like airm that you've said no four times yeah I I
01:13:34
would maybe one day like later in my career but not anytime soon yeah yeah yeah and and what about your partner you
01:13:40
mentioned before you met your partner on Bumble how long have you been together uh a year and a halfish I so you've
01:13:47
deleted the apps yeah I actually we after our first date we went on our second date and like after that
01:13:55
we spent like 5 days with each other without leaving and like he's just why was that a lockdown thing or by choice
01:14:01
no by choice like he's just my person and I love him with all my soul and he's
01:14:06
just my person and I don't know what our future looks like but I just not like I
01:14:11
don't know how to explain it but I just know in my soul that we're going to have
01:14:14
a really like joyful happy life probably cuz he's not stubborn like me and like
01:14:19
he's is he more like your D he's more like my D he's more calm and like if I'm
01:14:24
like my creation like he's just there like but he can put me in my place when I need it and I need
01:14:32
that um so we yeah we just have the most amazing relationship and I just feel so
01:14:36
thankful that I somehow met him yeah how were you quite active on the apps no he
01:14:42
was just like up in my area for work randomly staying with a friend and then we match and he was like do you want to
01:14:50
do this this this and this and I was like I'm not doing any of those things with you all of the people in the a
01:14:55
small tiny Community I live in know me because it's a small place like no I'm
01:14:59
not having people know my business then we ended up going skateboarding yeah know random what were
01:15:06
his initial suggestions oh like dinner and like coffee and like all these plac very reasonable which I would I would
01:15:13
know people at these places potentially so I'm like I'm not having people know
01:15:16
my business so it was like I I had training on my own training from like 7:00 to 8:30 so I was like I can meet
01:15:22
you at 8:30 like a.m. and he was like that's bit okay weird I was like but then I've got an appointment at 9:30 so
01:15:28
like fit in that Gap or like jog on and he was like no no like that's fine so
01:15:33
yeah we went somehow to the skate park [ __ ] you wouldn't want to be hitting the
01:15:36
achilles with a board would you no I know I know wow I that's not something I
01:15:41
sort of thought about but I yeah suppose the area you're in you ftin place like but also um like you
01:15:47
mentioned before about people spotting you at the airport and in the the airplane when you you're crying that
01:15:52
sort of recognition I suppose you don't know who I gu I was in all my kids so
01:15:57
it's easier to spot me but like my local you know and I'm a teacher as well I
01:16:01
don't want kids being out Miss on a date like you know like and because you can
01:16:06
tell if it's a first date right it's awkward and it's weird just the way they
01:16:10
interact and talk with each other it does big first absolutely I do not want that yeah oh that's cool well it seems
01:16:16
like everything's going really well and um yeah touch I don't even think that's
01:16:20
word yeah um but best of luck for everything are you are you you doing it like extra good job with stren strength
01:16:26
and conditioning to make sure lots yeah and like I'm on a bit of a different
01:16:30
program to the rest of my team just because of like how I am like I I do need to be treated a little bit
01:16:36
differently um I've got the most amazing massage therapist who absolutely annihilates me every week um heaps of
01:16:42
pull heaps of recovery so everything is good brilliant hey it's been wonderful
01:16:47
to sit down with you today I've really enjoyed it it's been cool it's um I feel
01:16:51
like a lot of people can get a lot out of this as well like I did think when I was coming on I was like [ __ ] I'm boring
01:16:56
compared to all the like cuz I've listened to the podcast I was like there's some really awesome people on
01:16:59
here and I'm like what the hell have I got to offer oh no I think you you'd be
01:17:03
you'd be surprised um maybe if you don't appreciate it now maybe when you get
01:17:06
older like post Nall you'll realize just how amazing um it is to come back from
01:17:12
what you've been through yeah and you've done it with a smile on your face for
01:17:15
the most part yes to the outside world smiling yes all right hey best of luck for the um the rest of the Mystic season
01:17:22
and thez cup and um whatever the future holds okay [Music]