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Michaela Sokolich-Beatson on Silver Ferns Career, Overcoming Two Achilles Injuries & More!

June 12, 2024 / 01:17:44

This episode features Michaela Sokolich-Beatson, captain of the Northern Mystics netball team, discussing her journey through injuries, comebacks, and her experiences with the Silver Ferns.

Michaela shares her struggles with injuries, including her Achilles ruptures and the impact of arthritis on her athletic career. She reflects on her initial optimism about returning to the Silver Ferns after her first injury, only to face setbacks that made her question her future in the sport.

The conversation highlights Michaela's competitive spirit and her love for netball, which kept her motivated during her rehabilitation. She discusses her role as a PE teacher and how her passion for health education drives her to connect with her students.

Michaela also talks about her emotional journey, including the support from her family and the mental challenges she faced during her recovery. She emphasizes the importance of maintaining a positive mindset and the lessons learned from her experiences.

Finally, Michaela reflects on her recent return to the Silver Ferns and her aspirations for the future, including her goals for the upcoming season and her desire to continue contributing to the sport she loves.

TL;DR

Michaela Sokolich-Beatson discusses her injury struggles, comeback journey, and passion for netball and teaching in this episode.

Episode

1:17:44

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[Music]

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Michaela welcome to my podcast thanks

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for having me so good to have you here

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you're this is Michaela she's the

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captain of the northern Mystics networ

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team and a member of the silver FS when

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she's when she's uninjured yeah I always

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say on a I'm in the silver FS on a good

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day yes so you've um how many times have

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you played for the silver ferns oh not

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many

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um 15ish so you first made the silver

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Ferns

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and

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2018 and then you had a gap of oh

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like five years five years or something

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so the media like to tell me it's

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incredible really he it's in like you

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you've just been that injury Prim like

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and the fact that you made it back it's

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feels like it's

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a I don't know it must have felt like

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your Silver Fin dream was almost over

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yeah definitely got to that point I

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remember when I got injured the first

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time I was like I'll be back no issues

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like I'll do the work I'll be back then

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the second time that the longer it went

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that I wasn't in the more and more I

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thought oh yeah okay I don't don't think

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I'll be back

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there why just um yeah just because

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younger players come along yeah not on

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yeah like and you get to a certain age

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they're probably thinking we probably

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need to start building the next layer or

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tier of player and we can't really waste

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time on someone that's been injured

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twice major injuries been out for ages

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the game's kind of moved on and I I knew

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I was good enough to get back but yeah

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and also because you're in your mid 20s

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you're old news old you're old old has

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been but like you are cuz they're

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thinking about like four four years

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cycles and like I'm thinking oh yeah but

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then I'm probably making a narrative in

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my own mind that the selectors aren't

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thinking but because you haven't been

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selected you try to think of all these

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reasons why not Al another way of

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looking at it I suppose is the um the

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downtime when you you're not playing due

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to injuries and you're doing strength

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and conditioning and Rehab maybe that'll

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like tag those years on to the end of

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your

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well yeah definitely not for me my there

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is no way my body's going to give me

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more years than I uh have currently so

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maybe for others yes why yeah what is

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what is wrong with your body why are you

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so exd and prone yeah um that's a good

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question I I've got CTIC arthritis and

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my body I always say my body just hates

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me like my body didn't want me to be an

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athlete um they don't think that that

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was wow depends on who you ask but they

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don't think that that was related to my

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aules ruptures that I had but like

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days are tough like getting out of bed

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in the morning's tough like the

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maintenance I have to do on my body's

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tough and the mental and emotional toll

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that that takes just to get to the start

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line of nital training or netball game I

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don't know how many years I can keep

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doing that for so

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yeah so where did this all

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start oh well I've been injury prone my

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whole life that's nothing new yeah yeah

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I heard a podcast that you did and uh

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this was years and years this is the

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only podcast I found that you've been on

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and it was from like 2017 or something

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and you talk about the injuries that you

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had through like secondary school so you

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just got like a is it a genetic thing

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just like a weak body yeah I don't know

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I only got diagnosed with the sertic

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arthritis after my arales ruptures in

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2020 2021 actually I got diagnosed with

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that um but yeah growing

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up back shins like always injured with

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something um they don't really know why

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or how but yeah lots of injuries did you

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think about a desk job no not at all

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well just funny cuz I'm so competitive

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so if I do get injured my first thought

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is how do I get back not how do I give

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up like I just want to keep going and I

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want to be playing wow just that growth

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mindset eh yeah and I just love netball

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I'm actually a fan of the game I watch

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every a game I watch every silver F game

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I just I really enjoy the game and

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that's probably the disappointing thing

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is I I just love it and you're good at

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it you're really good at it but it

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wasn't always like to say so you're um

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you're from a family with um you're the

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baby of the family there's two older

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brothers yes

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research so you're the baby of the

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family um what does that mean growing up

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with two older brothers so were you you

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know competitive with them you never

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played netball growing up hey yeah no I

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didn't very competitive with my brothers

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one Sam he's 8 years older than me so

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when we were younger not as competitive

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cuz that age gap's so big that you know

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like he could have hurt me seriously if

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we started to go toe to- toe in sport

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whereas my other brother James is only

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two years older than me but we would go

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toe to- toe like we would yeah fight we

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were the most competitive man him just

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cuz we were so close in age um but yeah

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they definitely taught me to be tough

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there's there's probably some studies or

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research that has been done on this but

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um from I've found like from people I've

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had on the podcast like high performers

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a lot of them have like older siblings

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and I think it's just like playing at

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that upper level when you're younger it

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just makes you tougher or better yeah

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and like my brother would always like

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coers me into like playing rugby or

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soccer with him on the back lawn be like

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but if you play this with me I'll then

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come inside and play Barbies with you

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and we never ever came inside and played

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my game and You' think that I would

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learn like okay it's probably time that

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I go first but I'd always end up outside

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playing with him andun oh my God I I

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think did the same sort of tradeoff with

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um with my siblings like yeah come and

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play a bit of tennis with me or Cricket

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on the driveway and then I'll play

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elastics with you and did you ever play

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elastics no of course not are you

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kidding me I told you to get the dining

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room cheers for the elastics do you know

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what elastics are yeah I do I'm I'm

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young I'm not that young yeah but I was

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never very good at them my J skills you

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think with the height you would have

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been amazing yeah no yeah okay so so the

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the baby of the family um you very

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growing up but mainly soccer yeah lots

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of soccer only cuz that's what my

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brother played so joined soccer but then

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my brother went to rugby so end up at

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rugby but my mom coached netball umpired

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netball so and my dad played rugby my

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other brother played rugby so we're

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always around sport like Saturday was

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sport then my brother got really good at

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rugby so we started going to like rips

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on Sunday so it was kind of couldn't get

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away from sport growing up just because

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of yeah our family dynamic

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and well and your mom dragged you to a

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netball game one day or like big they

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were shorter players or something is

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that how it started yeah she coached all

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my friends I played I think I played

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soccer at the time but she was at the

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school coaching all my friends and they

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were like really short for training and

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she said please can you just come I like

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I really want to do these practices but

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I can't do it with the numbers we've got

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so I was like okay and I remember like

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grabbing the ball and sprinting down the

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court and trying to let do a layup or

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try shooty shoot the goal and my mom

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standing there like you can't like you

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can't run with that I was at year five

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or six I was like oh pathetic and I just

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used to think that like it was for girly

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girls and like SK I didn't want to wear

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the skirt and I didn't want to I don't

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know just wasn't my vibe and then Mom

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somehow I don't actually know how she

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enticed me to play the game on the

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weekend and I ended up really I remember

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really enjoying it and then asking if I

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could go back um and then she was like

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absolutely you can come back so I went

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back and I never left the team and then

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I never left the sport so you you

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enjoyed it because you were good at it

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or is just something collecting you were

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like oh this is a cool sport I think

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both I think I enjoyed like the amount

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of teamwork that was involved and that

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you needed everybody to win the game

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whereas like when I was playing soccer

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you could kind of just like cick run and

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boot it in and you like half your team

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could not even be involved whereas with

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netball everybody's needed all of the

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time and I think I really like that team

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aspect and then did you just become

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obsessed with

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netball then I probably became overly

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obsessed I ended up too much netball

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that's probably why I got broken but

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yeah I just ended up really liking that

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so I played the rest of that year with

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my friends and then the next year my mom

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actually and her friend started their

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own little we were called the crown gems

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they started their own little netball

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club and we went round and we got to

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design all our own dresses so we of

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course being young girls they were black

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and pink like hot pink um so that was

00:09:02

really fun and I just I think all of the

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friendships I made that's what made me

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enjoy the sport more and you you were

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naturally good or oh I think so without

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sounding up myself I think so cuz I was

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really tall from a young age and so I

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think they could just throw the ball

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into me cuz I played a lot of shooter

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back then which I do not do now um and I

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could just kind of put the ball into cuz

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the goals were small they were the small

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goals yes so I don't have to try that

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hard to get it in so that helped

00:09:33

probably I I it's must be hard not to

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like something that you're good at yeah

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probably yeah so what you um sort of

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screwed your nose up then about the

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shooting thing why why did you drift

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away from shooting shooting would be the

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glamour position yeah I

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probably well I was actually a coach

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that said to me I don't think you're a

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shoter I was like no I I am like what

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are you talking about and she's like no

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I think a Defender and at that point I

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had been going between goal attack and

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goal defense in games which is weird

00:10:05

people don't normally do that but I

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would go between the two depending on

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where the team needed me then this one

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coach was like you should stay down the

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defensive end so I did and yeah I was

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definitely a better Defender than I was

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a shooter and you're you're now the

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captain of the mystics the northern

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Mystics this is the only the only AZ

00:10:24

team you've played in right yeah you've

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been on the team for like eight years or

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something yeah since 2016

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so how old were we then like 18 18 yeah

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so you finished school do you make all

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the rep teams all the age group teams

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yeah neor New Zealand have got this like

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pathway of how to get to the top and I

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was the athlete that did all the steps

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so played reps then I went to the

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National development Squad and then I

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made New Zealand secondary schools New

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Zealand under 21s A and Z then silver f

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it all happened like in this real nice

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linear pattern for me then yeah all my

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injuries

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came yeah when did they start I was

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injured like throughout my whole kind of

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career but my two major ones came in

00:11:08

2020 the Achilles yeah okay yeah we will

00:11:12

get to them because I I think this is um

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maybe I don't know maybe an inspiring

00:11:17

part of your story like The Comeback

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like it's um the sort of adversity and

00:11:21

setback that you know it could it could

00:11:23

finish some athletes off right yeah it

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really could okay so um so you finished

00:11:28

school you go to university to become a

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teacher you want to be a PE teacher you

00:11:33

are a PE teacher PE teacher yeah yeah

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how do you how do you fit it in now um

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are you fulltime no I teach on a

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Wednesday morning before training and

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our day off from Mystics is Thursday so

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I teach all day

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Thursday a one day a week yeah one and a

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half days must be nice and yeah it is

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and honestly teaching is so hard and

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when I walk in the office some mornings

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and I just look around at my colleagues

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I'm like you guys are amazing amazing

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like they always no matter what is

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happening they're just always so

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positive and upbeat and it's really easy

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for me to walk in and be positive and

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upbeat I'm there one day one in a bit

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days so I can walk out that door and

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I've got a whole week to reset cuz some

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days teaching are very challenging but

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they're just amazing amazing are you in

00:12:22

the classroom at all or no you are so

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I've got my own classes cuz health is

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only taught at my school the Juniors

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only have health once a week so I'm just

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a health teacher for those kids so they

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don't actually they probably wouldn't

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even know I'm not there the whole week

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right what what what does Health mean

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they like we do

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sexuality drug education whole water

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heaps of stuff on her water nutrition

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and like you have to excuse my IGN

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what's what's is like it's a mar

00:12:51

philosophy of Health okay so it's

00:12:53

teaching the kids that Health isn't just

00:12:55

physical so mental and emotional social

00:12:57

spiritual and physical

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oh my God so so what sort of Ages what

00:13:02

we teach whole water years 7 8 N9 and 10

00:13:05

so from 11 to 15 16 [ __ ] that's good

00:13:09

there was none of that when I was at

00:13:10

school I know it was anti antidotal

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stuff that you'd have on the school bus

00:13:15

on the roide to work with your M

00:13:17

honestly it's incredible and I find I'm

00:13:20

so passionate about teaching that stuff

00:13:22

that sometimes I've got to like rain it

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in cuz I I get not all 30 kids sitting

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in front of me are just as passionate so

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sometimes I get really into it and

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they're like looking at me like I'm

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weird it's good that you're passionate

00:13:34

about it though so I thought you were

00:13:36

like a PE teacher oh we do health and PE

00:13:39

okay so I only teach one PE lesson a

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week the rest are all Health cuz health

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is like what I'm really passionate about

00:13:46

right and when you're teaching the kids

00:13:48

health what are like some of the big big

00:13:49

surprises you've got like are you

00:13:51

surprised at like how advanced some of

00:13:53

the kids are with that stuff that you're

00:13:55

teaching already are you surprised at um

00:13:58

some of the things theyve told you about

00:13:59

their drug taking or um I think I find

00:14:02

it quite

00:14:03

alarming probably the thing that

00:14:06

surprised me the most is that so many

00:14:09

kids don't

00:14:10

know like their values and who they are

00:14:12

and like I think cuz I'm I'm looking at

00:14:14

it Through My Lens of a 27y old but I

00:14:17

really try to get some of them don't

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even know like their grandparents

00:14:20

names oh Nana I'm like yeah but Nana's

00:14:23

got a name like who's Nana like who is

00:14:26

Nana and I like encourag them to go and

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have conver ations with their family

00:14:30

about where they come from and like who

00:14:33

they are and things like that and that

00:14:35

probably surprises me the most that

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there's so many that don't know and I I

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do understand and appreciate that for a

00:14:41

lot of people that does come later in

00:14:42

life but yeah I do encourage the kids to

00:14:44

try and find out a little bit more well

00:14:47

that's cool must feel really rewarding

00:14:48

like you're making a difference yeah it

00:14:51

is I some days I walk away wanting to

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like never go back and I'm like what am

00:14:55

I doing here um and then other days I

00:14:58

leave going that was incredible and I

00:15:00

can't wait to come back next week yeah

00:15:03

oh that's nice and you you were at

00:15:05

school teaching the day that you made

00:15:07

the silver F yeah I was I was on

00:15:10

placement yes I wasn't what's that like

00:15:12

a relief teacher yeah placement is when

00:15:13

you're still at Uni but you go into the

00:15:15

school to like get work experience oh

00:15:17

like almost like an internship yeah kind

00:15:19

of yeah yeah so talk us through that day

00:15:21

were you on the were you on the did you

00:15:23

know the team was being announced were

00:15:24

you on the radar of the selectors

00:15:27

um I was

00:15:29

I always say I don't know how how I was

00:15:32

selected so I wasn't in the silver Fern

00:15:35

Squad I was in the development Squad and

00:15:39

I had been to the youth World Cup and

00:15:41

we'd won that and then I had to have 6

00:15:44

months off cuz M had a fra like stress

00:15:45

fracture in my back and so I'd only just

00:15:48

kind of got back to training with the

00:15:49

mystics and then so I knew it was being

00:15:52

announced but I didn't even bet an

00:15:53

eyelid I was it won't be me then I yeah

00:15:56

my had an Apple Watch on and it came up

00:15:58

like the silver FS coach ranging and I

00:16:01

was like should only be ranging me for

00:16:02

one reason and I said to my boss who's

00:16:05

actually still my boss now but he was

00:16:06

teaching the class at the time can I can

00:16:08

I go outside like trying to get his

00:16:10

attention he yeah and yeah then she told

00:16:13

me that I had made the team to go to the

00:16:15

Commonwealth Games oh my God that's

00:16:17

amazing yeah so who was that wasn't Dame

00:16:20

noene at the time that was the previous

00:16:21

Janine southby right so how long's the

00:16:24

conversation like a minute yeah yeah

00:16:27

very brief I guess cuz she's got so many

00:16:28

phone calls to get through and she

00:16:30

probably knew that at the time it was a

00:16:31

bit of shock so she was like we we we'll

00:16:34

speak again I just wanted to let you

00:16:35

know like congratulations then I think I

00:16:38

was at the next day I had to be at like

00:16:41

the launch and I was like I'm on

00:16:42

placement like I got to got to wrap this

00:16:45

up somehow but luckily I went on

00:16:48

placement at my old high school so

00:16:51

everyone knew me there so and my boss

00:16:53

was my old PE teacher so he was like

00:16:56

yeah you go do whatever you need to do

00:16:58

that's amazing so you take that phone

00:17:00

call then um who do you call first what

00:17:04

do you do well then I've got to go back

00:17:06

into class and finish the lesson oh you

00:17:08

went straight back into class I can't

00:17:09

just walk off and not go back in I would

00:17:12

I would have been making it was a short

00:17:14

phone call with the coach you could have

00:17:15

made another five qu calls appearance

00:17:18

whoever yeah I went back and did that

00:17:21

then it was at lunchtime not too far

00:17:23

away so then I just went to my car I

00:17:25

think I rang my mom first I always rang

00:17:27

my mom first for anything so R her and

00:17:30

then I think my dad and then my auntie

00:17:32

and what do you like on those calls you

00:17:34

burst into

00:17:35

tears this a this is a big thing right

00:17:37

making the national team um I think

00:17:40

because I didn't know it was coming it

00:17:43

was more of a

00:17:44

shock when I made like the New Zealand

00:17:47

under 21 team that I've been working

00:17:48

four years for when I got that called

00:17:51

that was that was probably

00:17:55

more emotional because of how much I'd

00:17:58

put into get there even though I had put

00:18:00

in work for that team it wasn't like I'd

00:18:03

put in work directly to that wasn't my

00:18:05

goal necessarily so it was more shock

00:18:08

until I processed what had happened when

00:18:11

I got home right so you just gone

00:18:12

through all the steps and this was the

00:18:14

next step and it maybe it came a bit

00:18:15

quicker than what you yeah like I

00:18:17

thought I might have gone to like the

00:18:19

2022 Commonwealth Games so the 2018 ones

00:18:22

weren't really on my radar cuz I hadn't

00:18:24

done anything with the silver ferns

00:18:26

leading up to that phone call yeah we

00:18:28

with we were the we were the 2018 Comm

00:18:30

with gam Australia the Gold Coast ones

00:18:33

oh yeah how did the S fense get on the

00:18:34

worst we'd ever done fourth F and at

00:18:36

that time like the silver F hadn't ever

00:18:39

done bad so there was just this media

00:18:42

frenzy questioning whether we had

00:18:44

passion for the for the dress if we you

00:18:48

know if we wanted to be there if we had

00:18:49

Pride there was lots going on around us

00:18:53

because of that

00:18:55

result oh that's so tough ex yeah I've

00:18:58

had all sorts of people on the podcast

00:18:59

including um Susie Bates the cck and she

00:19:03

she went to the Olympics as um like a

00:19:05

teenage girl playing um basketball for

00:19:07

New Zealand so she went over there and

00:19:10

the no one was expecting anything from

00:19:12

the team so it was fine but it must be

00:19:14

so much pressure If you go over there

00:19:15

and you're expected to medal especially

00:19:18

the silver fans right they're KN one in

00:19:20

this country to win or to be there or

00:19:23

thereabouts so to get fourth was like

00:19:26

what has happened so did you have like a

00:19:28

game that you had to play for someone

00:19:30

gets bronze

00:19:32

someone sorry for bringing this up I

00:19:35

should have done my research and then

00:19:36

not bought it up no it's okay I because

00:19:38

I was so young I didn't how old were

00:19:42

you I don't know 20 yeah

00:19:45

21 because I and I was so new to the

00:19:48

team I didn't have to wear the brunt of

00:19:50

it I wasn't doing the media interviews I

00:19:52

wasn't a leader in the team so the

00:19:54

leaders wore a lot of it and I was on

00:19:57

the bench for most of the game and I'd

00:19:59

come in for maybe half a game a quarter

00:20:01

of a game so I didn't yeah I didn't wear

00:20:04

what our senior players had to wear who

00:20:06

who were the seniors at the time uh

00:20:08

Maria

00:20:09

fellow Katrina Grant we and we had quite

00:20:13

a we had a different team like we didn't

00:20:16

have Laura langman wasn't in at that

00:20:18

point she came back when NOS came back

00:20:20

Casey Coro came back when NOS came back

00:20:22

so the team was sh it was a good team he

00:20:24

there was a lot of big names you mention

00:20:26

yeah so was interesting times yeah and

00:20:29

know because it happened at the early

00:20:31

stage of your career like you probably

00:20:32

learn a lot from it you may not may not

00:20:33

feel like it at the time oh massively

00:20:35

and especially um as a leader now

00:20:38

looking back at those times and just

00:20:40

what they had to go through and yeah

00:20:43

I've taken a lot from that experience

00:20:45

more off the court yeah did you have a

00:20:47

lot to do with Maria F was she in the

00:20:49

mystics with you she was in the mystics

00:20:50

and I she's awesome she um she was so

00:20:55

much older when I started so she was

00:20:57

kind of like took us her and K

00:20:59

took us under their wing and we were

00:21:01

just like there was four of us fresh

00:21:03

into the team when we started Mystics

00:21:05

those two were like the mother hens and

00:21:08

they were so awesome I was I felt so

00:21:10

privileged to be in a team that had

00:21:12

these massive Superstars that growing

00:21:14

out watching them like I never thought

00:21:15

I'd get to play with them I remember

00:21:17

going home and being like to my mom who

00:21:19

obviously loved netball being like Mom

00:21:22

like those are my teammates we used to

00:21:24

like watch them on TV and be like how

00:21:26

cool are they and now like you know I'm

00:21:28

training alongside them day in and day

00:21:31

out yeah were you like a fan girl when

00:21:33

you at schol massively massively which

00:21:36

is so funny now because I know her and I

00:21:38

know the older girls now but back then I

00:21:40

was like man like you are so cool you

00:21:43

were you were you in um in the team with

00:21:46

Maria when um cuz I met her a couple of

00:21:49

times she's lovely but this was when she

00:21:50

was Maria

00:21:51

to then she married Israel Fel were you

00:21:54

were you in the team with her when all

00:21:55

the other homophobics [ __ ] that must

00:21:57

have been intense yeah she I feel like

00:22:00

she even though she had nothing to do

00:22:01

with it at all like she bought the BR on

00:22:04

behalf of New Zealand in a way and I

00:22:06

guess I just showed her character she

00:22:08

turned up to training um always smiling

00:22:11

always positive and just did her job and

00:22:14

it what have I can't imagine how hard

00:22:16

that would have been to do when you're

00:22:17

dealing with all of the stuff away from

00:22:19

your work but yeah she was incredible

00:22:22

but some Next Level professionalism

00:22:24

there is it insane like actually insane

00:22:27

to turn up and and I guess cuz we saw

00:22:31

her in the changing rooms and at

00:22:33

training and she was still the same

00:22:34

positive person that people got to see

00:22:37

on game day when she's playing in front

00:22:39

of however many people so yeah huge UPS

00:22:42

to her for that oh good stuff okay so

00:22:45

yes so you make the silver FS you don't

00:22:47

want to come with

00:22:50

games um and then so was there Co just

00:22:54

after that is that pretty much are we

00:22:56

where we at now 202 started so 2 years

00:22:59

later yeah so you played the silver fans

00:23:01

consistently over those I was in the

00:23:04

team consistently from then onwards till

00:23:07

2020 when I got injured but I didn't

00:23:09

always

00:23:10

play so Le I would go on tours and like

00:23:14

I'd be training I'd be with the team but

00:23:16

I wouldn't always get to take the court

00:23:18

right so they were sort of like bleeding

00:23:20

you to be like the next generation of

00:23:22

player yeah the sort of player that

00:23:23

you're fearful of now when you're out

00:23:25

yeah yeah yeah exactly that exact and

00:23:27

like especially me I'm very competitive

00:23:29

yeah yeah what's what's it like on those

00:23:31

um silver F tours do you guys have a lot

00:23:33

of fun yeah the girls are awesome it's

00:23:36

just like going away with your

00:23:37

mates like there's really no other way

00:23:40

to describe it you're French all there

00:23:42

for a common goal um one thing that I

00:23:45

really took away from Laura langman when

00:23:47

she when I was in building up for the

00:23:50

2019 yeah most 2019 Nial World Cup she

00:23:53

was the captain and I hadn't I didn't

00:23:57

know her at all I hadn't done any

00:23:58

netball with her and I always thought

00:24:00

she was this real serious hardcore

00:24:02

hairry heart out because that's how she

00:24:04

plays netball like she's just a gun and

00:24:07

I remember thinking oh how fun are you

00:24:10

going to be off the court honestly off

00:24:13

the court fun ass relaxed could like

00:24:17

heaps of jokes really

00:24:20

inclusive just an awesome person to lead

00:24:22

your team and one thing I've taken from

00:24:25

her is that like on the court you and at

00:24:27

training let's say serious and we're

00:24:29

here for a reason but you don't need to

00:24:31

take that attitude off coure and I think

00:24:33

that's what the f do well right just

00:24:35

that balance yeah and because you need

00:24:37

it when you're on tour for like 3 weeks

00:24:40

you want to be able to have some fun

00:24:41

yeah oh 100% it's not healthy otherwise

00:24:44

e no and and do you do you share a room

00:24:46

with someone else on those yeah you

00:24:48

always share a room and it's always

00:24:49

different people they mix it up do they

00:24:51

yeah I think the only time you really

00:24:53

get to choose is at like a world like a

00:24:55

pinnacle event because you're there with

00:24:57

that room mate for so long and it's a

00:25:00

pinnacle event so that I think they want

00:25:02

you to feel really comfortable in your

00:25:03

environment even though we do like cuz

00:25:05

we're all M so it doesn't matter who you

00:25:07

end up with but I think they just like

00:25:08

to give that bit of like Freedom what

00:25:11

would um your previous roommate say

00:25:13

about you like are you messy are you no

00:25:17

I am you want to know Kate ble she used

00:25:19

to be my roommate when we were growing

00:25:20

up she was messy she's good now cuz

00:25:22

she's got a Navy boyfriend so you know

00:25:25

who whipped her into shape quicksmart um

00:25:28

I'm really tidy I make this noise with

00:25:31

my throat when I'm like trying to itch

00:25:33

the back of my throat but I do that in

00:25:35

my sleep yeah that yeah that noise I've

00:25:38

had a sinus operation cuz my sinuses

00:25:41

were all up the wus so I don't snore

00:25:43

anymore but I used to snore and make

00:25:45

that noise so I could imagine that was

00:25:46

horrible for anyone rooming with me oh

00:25:49

there's nothing worse than rooming with

00:25:50

a SN I know Anna Harrison actually like

00:25:53

sneakily told my management once please

00:25:55

never put me with

00:25:57

Michaela didn't find that out till like

00:25:59

way later when I was like why do we

00:26:00

never get to Rome and she was

00:26:02

like well you're annoying you think that

00:26:06

try and peer soras together or give

00:26:07

soras their own room does does the

00:26:09

captain get their own room no we all sh

00:26:12

there's 10 of us in a team well 12 if

00:26:14

you're with the f 10 if you're with your

00:26:16

a andz team so we all just buddy up and

00:26:19

what do you do for fun after games you

00:26:20

never hear about the um the the netball

00:26:22

girls getting in any sort of trouble in

00:26:24

terms of shenanigans antic to be honest

00:26:26

it depends on if it's Mystics we go home

00:26:30

s it we're not the party team at all we

00:26:34

it's halfway through the season we

00:26:35

haven't even had one night on the beers

00:26:36

together which it's just not How We Roll

00:26:40

um I don't actually know why maybe we're

00:26:42

boring um and Fs as well like this you

00:26:46

just kind of go home if we're on tour

00:26:49

you go back to your hotel and you

00:26:50

normally got a game soon so you go back

00:26:52

recover and then you move on to the next

00:26:54

city the next day and if the tours ended

00:26:58

like you go home so yeah there's not

00:27:00

really big nights out so there's no like

00:27:03

missing curfews and things like that wow

00:27:06

well I suppose that's professionalism

00:27:07

isn't it yeah and it we just don't have

00:27:11

that culture yeah like you know when it

00:27:13

actually IRS me you know when you watch

00:27:15

rugby and they're in the sheds after a

00:27:16

game having a few beers and like they're

00:27:18

just relaxing like in my mind that's

00:27:20

relaxing we do not do that at all and I

00:27:24

feel like there's this thing around like

00:27:26

being woman we shouldn't drink in our

00:27:29

uniform cuz how how people might

00:27:32

perceive that but yet the All Blacks

00:27:34

post on Instagram like celebrating a wi

00:27:37

with a beb and there's nothing wrong

00:27:39

with that there's even like Stein ler

00:27:41

signs in the background it's funny funny

00:27:43

you say that I feel like people would

00:27:45

have a problem if we did it or I think

00:27:46

that's the perception so we

00:27:48

don't I've um I've had Maya listen on

00:27:51

the podcast she said pretty much exactly

00:27:54

the same sort of thing she said she

00:27:55

feels like there's this um sort of

00:27:57

judgment about you guys even if you go

00:27:58

out for dinner and have wine or

00:28:00

something someone would be like

00:28:01

mindblowing right like I should be able

00:28:03

to have a wine if I feel like it and if

00:28:06

I'm in my kit does it really matter but

00:28:08

it does matter there's this perception

00:28:10

that it does matter H cuz there's a

00:28:12

difference between um having a wine

00:28:15

after your game and then you know

00:28:18

Behaving Badly after having too many

00:28:19

wines a very very clear difference

00:28:21

absolutely there's a massive difference

00:28:23

yeah and yeah I don't know what it is

00:28:25

about that but yeah well good on you for

00:28:27

talking about it cuz I think the more we

00:28:28

talk about it and address it the more

00:28:30

chance there is of changing that yeah I

00:28:32

think so yeah um so what happened during

00:28:35

the co years so was all games suspended

00:28:38

was the AZ cap still on or thez was

00:28:41

played yeah at ockland Nall Center under

00:28:43

real strict guidelines with no

00:28:47

Spectators okay so so you weren't

00:28:49

injured then I was or you were injured

00:28:51

yeah I got injured I got injured in 2020

00:28:54

January in England and I think the a

00:28:57

andz started

00:28:58

around marchish March April okay yeah

00:29:02

let's talk about that injury in England

00:29:03

then so so this was your left Ares right

00:29:07

right Ares so January 2020 you in your

00:29:10

right arches what does that mean exactly

00:29:12

your Ares that's yeah the Archilles is

00:29:14

like where it connects onto like the

00:29:16

heel bone and okay so you land the wrong

00:29:19

way or um well it's like a middle-age

00:29:22

man injury so careful that's what my

00:29:25

surgeon on me anyways um no I was warm

00:29:29

it was at the first quarter we were

00:29:31

having a practice game against England a

00:29:33

leading up to the series and I just like

00:29:36

went to change direction and then I

00:29:38

looked back to like be like who's who's

00:29:41

kicked me which is like classic Ares

00:29:44

rupture pain and no one was there and

00:29:47

then I just

00:29:48

remember I probably looked like a Looney

00:29:50

Tune I just remember walking

00:29:53

off yelling at my physio that I had

00:29:56

ruptured my Archilles and I keep keeps

00:29:58

saying that like constantly and he's

00:30:01

like trying to be like yeah okay we'll

00:30:02

do the test I'm like you don't need to

00:30:03

do the test I'm telling you I've

00:30:04

ruptured my AR killes and I'm like Loki

00:30:07

freaking out because you know the

00:30:09

severity of it yeah I know that that's

00:30:11

like I'm I've just well cuz I was a

00:30:14

reserve for the 2019 World Cup I went

00:30:17

all the way to England I wasn't needed I

00:30:18

came home I was then in the series at

00:30:22

the end of 2019 and I felt like it was

00:30:24

really my time to like wave the flag for

00:30:27

my position and show them that I was

00:30:29

ready and to know that I and I'd been

00:30:31

training really really well and I just

00:30:34

the entire summer I had done nothing but

00:30:37

train I was like I'm taking this

00:30:39

opportunity with both hands so to know

00:30:42

that I just essentially ripped off my

00:30:45

bib and gave it

00:30:47

away like that's what I knew I had just

00:30:52

lost so it wasn't even the injury the

00:30:53

injury didn't like hurt massively it was

00:30:56

more the shock of what I'm

00:30:59

losing why does it take so long to

00:31:01

recover from it um you have well you

00:31:04

don't have to have surgery but I chose

00:31:05

to have surgery it's just like a 9mon

00:31:08

like you can't start running till like

00:31:09

four five months cuz it's got the

00:31:11

tendon's got to heal then by the time

00:31:14

you start running you got to learn to

00:31:15

then jump again because the tendons used

00:31:18

like it's so elastic that you need it to

00:31:21

jump well to move well to take off

00:31:24

accelerate so you need time to build all

00:31:26

that back up but for four five months

00:31:28

you can't do anything apart from upper

00:31:30

body weights are you are you good with

00:31:32

patience and following like physial

00:31:34

orders uh depends on what physio you ask

00:31:38

some might say no some might say yes um

00:31:42

with this I was because I didn't want to

00:31:46

reard it yeah but we didn't have

00:31:49

any what's it called like obstacles like

00:31:53

if you were walking at 3 weeks without

00:31:56

crutches well it was actually more like

00:31:57

8 weeks but I ticked at every single

00:32:01

like tick box oh at four weeks you

00:32:03

should be doing that I was doing it so I

00:32:05

got all the way through my first rehab

00:32:08

with like no

00:32:10

complications so I was I would say I was

00:32:12

patient and I was very diligent if I was

00:32:15

told to do 50 of this and 50 of that

00:32:18

that's what I did right so so when it

00:32:20

when it happens um like how do you react

00:32:23

immediately see you know you cool down

00:32:25

the adrenaline starts to wear off then

00:32:27

what

00:32:28

um then we I got taken to hospital just

00:32:32

to like check that it was just there so

00:32:35

me and the mental skills person and Fs

00:32:37

Rod he ended up being my buddy he has

00:32:40

driven me around lots of places because

00:32:43

of various things and so we'll go after

00:32:46

the hospital in England and if anyone's

00:32:48

ever been in the English A&E on a

00:32:50

Saturday night we witnessed a few

00:32:53

interesting things which was fun because

00:32:55

it allowed us to like you know have

00:32:57

conversations about other things um and

00:33:00

then yeah we put on a plane the next day

00:33:03

back to New

00:33:04

Zealand to start my recovery but you're

00:33:07

with this guy right are you are you um

00:33:10

laughing and joking at the other the

00:33:11

drunk people oh we are laughing and

00:33:13

joking we've got like guys blood coming

00:33:16

out of everywhere it's like spewing

00:33:19

behind us intoxicated people and we're

00:33:21

just sitting there like thinking well

00:33:23

I'm like I guess it could be worse like

00:33:26

but but deep down you must be

00:33:27

devastating right yeah

00:33:30

yeah and I remember the first thing I

00:33:32

did again was Ring my mom I'm still on

00:33:34

the sideline I was I just need to talk

00:33:36

to somebody that's not in this bubble

00:33:39

rang her I'm like hey Mom it's early in

00:33:42

the morning over there I don't care what

00:33:43

the time as I just rang and she's like

00:33:46

what are you doing I was like I've

00:33:47

ruptured my eye kees she a oh that's a

00:33:51

shame like you'll be okay I was like

00:33:54

thinking first of all if I could come

00:33:56

through the phone and like strangle yeah

00:33:59

like you do we know what I'm saying to

00:34:01

you and I'm like Mom like I'm out yeah

00:34:04

short Yeah couple of days like like she

00:34:06

didn't really know and I was like no Mom

00:34:08

like I'm on I'll be coming back home and

00:34:11

I'll be having surgery and I will not be

00:34:12

doing anything for the rest of the year

00:34:14

and then she just started crying and

00:34:15

then she was like okay it's okay like

00:34:17

then mom's like do you need me to fly to

00:34:19

England and come and get you I was like

00:34:21

no like I'm no I don't need you to do

00:34:23

that like I'll get myself home um just

00:34:26

pick me up from the airport and that

00:34:28

okay like whatever you need I'm here so

00:34:30

do you when she starts crying do you

00:34:31

start crying you must felt like I was

00:34:34

probably already crying when wrong but I

00:34:36

actually don't know if I was crying I

00:34:39

just trying to explain to her what an

00:34:41

Ares Rapture was and from a from a

00:34:44

professional perspective that guy Rod

00:34:45

the mental skills coach is there

00:34:47

anything that that he says or does

00:34:49

that's impactful um or is it just like

00:34:52

being the he just tries to we just chat

00:34:55

about random stuff he he's highly

00:34:58

trained he probably knows that I don't

00:34:59

want to sit there and talk about it all

00:35:01

right now so we just chewed the fat

00:35:02

about everything but pretty

00:35:05

much yeah cuz I suppose there I mean it

00:35:08

is what it is right there's nothing you

00:35:09

can do yeah apart from try to figure out

00:35:12

a plan to move forward yeah right so you

00:35:15

come home um so again this is early 2020

00:35:18

yeah um so so lockdown starts so you

00:35:21

sort of recovering on crutches during

00:35:23

yeah I it must have been a relief in a

00:35:25

way cuz you feel like you're not missing

00:35:26

out on anything kind of but then I've

00:35:29

got nobody to help me rehab so the day I

00:35:34

came out of my moon boot just and that's

00:35:36

when I was like right we're going to

00:35:37

ramp up the rehab now came out of my

00:35:39

moon Boot and the next day we went into

00:35:40

lockdown so I was so like grateful for

00:35:43

my trainer guy and the physio Mark they

00:35:47

would be on Zoom with me every day or

00:35:49

every second day taking me through all

00:35:50

of my exercises my dad built me a bench

00:35:54

pru out of

00:35:55

scaffold um he built me a leg press out

00:35:58

of some plywood in this weird exercise

00:36:01

machine thing we had and then yeah Mark

00:36:04

and Guy literally sat on zoom and we're

00:36:06

like right do this do that do this do

00:36:08

that and just coach me through my entire

00:36:10

rehab but your parents s amazing oh

00:36:13

they're I'm I'm so incredibly lucky

00:36:15

there they they still together yeah

00:36:16

they're still together they and they

00:36:19

became if anyone has ever had to have

00:36:22

their parents help them with their

00:36:24

training I ended up having to be a coach

00:36:27

cuz I had to coach them how to play and

00:36:30

pass and N ball so that I could train

00:36:32

properly cuz you couldn't have anybody

00:36:33

asked we live together so it needed to

00:36:35

be them and like I would need them to

00:36:38

pass to each other so I could practice

00:36:39

intercepting and no I spent half the I

00:36:42

spent half the time coaching them how

00:36:44

and where to pass so that I could do a

00:36:46

proper intercept then I just went and

00:36:48

bought a rebounder thing that I didn't

00:36:50

need them as much but yeah they helped

00:36:51

me with all of my rehab and like no

00:36:54

matter what time of day what they were

00:36:56

doing I like right this time tomorrow we

00:36:58

got to go that spend two hours with me

00:37:00

an now with me helping me with my rehab

00:37:03

you seem very driven even perhaps a

00:37:04

little bit stubborn is do you think

00:37:06

that's from your your your M's M's side

00:37:10

that croa c c they're staunch and they

00:37:13

stubbing yeah yeah is there a bit of

00:37:15

that in you you yeah absolutely what

00:37:17

about you too much sometimes oh no but

00:37:19

it's got you where you are and it's got

00:37:20

you this um incredible resilience and

00:37:23

sort of fighting Power that you got what

00:37:25

about from your dad's side what are your

00:37:26

traits there that you I I would say I am

00:37:30

more my dad but get the stubbornness and

00:37:34

the croa the croation fire from my mom

00:37:37

I'm very loud and abrupt um but my dad

00:37:40

is extremely hardworking not to say my

00:37:42

mom's not no but my dad is very

00:37:45

hardworking and

00:37:47

just he's hard to

00:37:50

explain he he's incredible and I've

00:37:52

learned a lot from him and he's a lot

00:37:54

more patient than I am and he thinks

00:37:57

sings through a lot more than I

00:37:59

necessarily do but yeah he's very

00:38:03

hardworking diligent and he's provided

00:38:05

so much for our family so yeah I would

00:38:08

say I'm like him in ways but you're like

00:38:10

Mom too oh what a nice compliment and

00:38:12

what a nice mix yeah yes I say my other

00:38:16

brother James is more like my mom but he

00:38:18

wouldn't like me saying that well what

00:38:20

do they do what are your older brothers

00:38:21

do um My Brother Sam he's an engineer

00:38:24

and my other brother James Works in like

00:38:26

demolition both super successful like

00:38:29

really successful and we're all super

00:38:31

close as a family which is nice yeah

00:38:33

that's neat okay so so the 2020 year so

00:38:37

you you're rehabbing you're doing

00:38:38

everything you're supposed to do um so

00:38:41

the the Mystic season continues a yeah

00:38:45

how weird is that are you still involved

00:38:47

in the squad like are you no or you no I

00:38:50

am and that's probably where that

00:38:52

stubbornness and um love for netball

00:38:55

really flourished in 201 20 so you're

00:38:58

just wandering around on crutches or a

00:38:59

moon just being in that environment

00:39:01

sitting up to meetings yeah I I went to

00:39:04

everything apart from gym because I had

00:39:06

to do all my own rehab I wouldn't go to

00:39:09

their gyms because I needed like

00:39:11

one-on-one kind of support and help so I

00:39:14

would do all of my rehab away from the

00:39:17

team and then I would turn up to all of

00:39:19

the team trainings and team meetings I

00:39:20

literally didn't miss any I was there

00:39:23

every game and every meeting and I ended

00:39:25

up being assistant coach because Helen

00:39:27

our coach at the time we didn't have one

00:39:30

so I ended up being assistant coach and

00:39:32

manager I did all these random jobs well

00:39:35

why um with the benefit of hindsight why

00:39:37

did you why were you then involved and

00:39:39

Hands-On with when there's nothing you

00:39:40

could do was it I just love my team and

00:39:44

I and I think because I knew I wanted to

00:39:46

be back and I knew the only way I could

00:39:50

be back is if I still develop my netball

00:39:52

brain and you can develop that when

00:39:54

you're not playing by watching by having

00:39:56

coaching conversations to be like okay

00:39:58

if I had gone here or done that would

00:40:00

that have changed that and I feel like I

00:40:02

play netball differently now than I did

00:40:06

before because I understand the game

00:40:08

better well that's really cool yeah so

00:40:13

yeah yeah yeah and I suppose it's also

00:40:15

um even if this is subliminal it's like

00:40:17

hey don't forget about me I'm still here

00:40:19

oh absolutely and I'm well aware of that

00:40:20

and I think out of side out of mind and

00:40:23

I was I was not leaving this realm I

00:40:26

want to be part of this this team and I

00:40:28

want people to want me to be part of

00:40:30

this

00:40:30

team that's hunger isn't

00:40:34

it wow that's the creation yeah that is

00:40:37

stenness that's awesome so you so it

00:40:40

gets to the point where you're you're

00:40:41

rehabed and you're playing again yeah so

00:40:44

it got 8 and a half months down well got

00:40:47

eight months down the track and I was

00:40:50

able to start like training with like

00:40:52

the team again I somehow got put back so

00:40:56

I got injured

00:40:57

I didn't in January play didn't play the

00:41:00

a andz season but they rename at the end

00:41:02

of the a andz season a silver F Squad

00:41:05

and I got put back in the squad because

00:41:07

they knew I was going to be ready for

00:41:09

the international season in some sort of

00:41:11

capacity so I ended up going to the

00:41:15

trials that they have or like the camp

00:41:17

they had and I ended up making like the

00:41:20

development team which is called nza and

00:41:23

we were going to play the ferns the men

00:41:25

and not sure who else

00:41:28

and so that was 8 and 1/2 months post

00:41:30

rupture so I was essentially back and we

00:41:34

were in another warm-up game against

00:41:37

like a put together team before the cry

00:41:39

series and then that's when I ruptured

00:41:41

my other Ares so same injury again but

00:41:44

on the other on the other leg Yeah like

00:41:46

what like what are the chances it was

00:41:48

literally 9 months to the day like it

00:41:51

was like literally nine months later

00:41:53

bang and and straight away you're not

00:41:55

yeah oh I knew

00:41:58

I knew right oh my God I actually didn't

00:42:01

know this for months till months later

00:42:04

but I just stood there with my head and

00:42:07

my hands sobbing and then just yelling

00:42:10

if bombs like if bomb after if bomb

00:42:12

after if bomb to her just to yourself

00:42:13

just my well out loud to like the

00:42:15

universe whoever was listening whoever

00:42:17

had brought such misery upon me and the

00:42:20

go shoot I was playing Goldie I think

00:42:22

the gold Shir thought that I was

00:42:24

swearing at her and that like

00:42:27

I I think she thought I thought she'd

00:42:30

hurt like she'd kick me but I I knew I

00:42:32

had just changed Direction it had gone

00:42:34

she wasn't even anywhere near me and it

00:42:36

wasn't until months later I don't even

00:42:37

know who she is to apologize be like I

00:42:39

wasn't swearing to you like so it's a

00:42:42

gold shoot from that random Gamers

00:42:43

listening I know it wasn't you it was

00:42:46

all me so um yeah so then what are you

00:42:50

with thato Rod again yeah Rod's there

00:42:52

there Rod's there see Rod is always

00:42:54

there in times of need he always is

00:42:56

there to help me is is he is he like a

00:42:59

team into schools coach is he your

00:43:00

personal seems like he's got time for

00:43:02

nobody else no he doesn't he's he's he

00:43:04

may as well be on my payroll because he

00:43:07

has helped me through some things but

00:43:09

yeah he's there and then how is it

00:43:11

different this time or is it not

00:43:12

different oh it's and the and the same

00:43:15

physio was there and the same strength

00:43:17

and conditioner were there um except

00:43:20

this time like all our hearts broke

00:43:22

because like I had just like literally

00:43:24

it was my first game like it only just

00:43:26

got

00:43:27

back um so we all really felt the pain

00:43:30

of that one um and I

00:43:34

remember Rock Rod took me back to the

00:43:38

hotel and like I just remember sitting

00:43:41

on the floor of where when palmon north

00:43:43

of all places I was just like why

00:43:45

couldn't have we been in ockland um and

00:43:48

I just remember sitting on the hotel

00:43:49

floor and just being like get me out of

00:43:51

here like get me home but I couldn't get

00:43:53

home cuz it was at night time and I

00:43:55

wasn't so me my mom again oh come get

00:43:57

you I was like no don't I don't want to

00:43:59

sit in a car for hour a many hours stay

00:44:00

at home I'll fly in the morning and then

00:44:02

your Rod took me to the airport and I

00:44:04

flew home and I actually remember

00:44:07

crouching down like the terminal to get

00:44:10

to the baggage claim and my parents were

00:44:12

there and I just remember like I don't

00:44:15

know what came over me but I saw my mom

00:44:16

and my dad and I just like cried this

00:44:19

loud like someone you know when someone

00:44:21

had like passed away and there just

00:44:23

horrible loud cries that was me and that

00:44:27

middle of the airport and I remember the

00:44:29

article went live on Silver's page and

00:44:31

people had commented like yeah I seen

00:44:33

her in the airport she was really

00:44:36

devastated and another lady was like

00:44:37

yeah I was on the plane on the way home

00:44:39

with her she didn't stop crying the

00:44:41

whole way and I was like yeah okay

00:44:43

thanks for telling everybody like no one

00:44:45

else needed to know that but yeah the

00:44:47

second one was hard to deal with

00:44:52

especially because it was like i' only

00:44:53

just got back it only been back two

00:44:55

weeks yeah I mean yeah the the timing

00:44:57

the just the timing and also you know

00:45:00

like you're fresh off that road to

00:45:01

recovery so you know exactly what's

00:45:03

involved all over again ex exactly I

00:45:05

knew we exactly what to expect except

00:45:09

the first one took me 9 months to

00:45:10

recover from the next one took me 18 the

00:45:13

first one had no hurdles or obstacles

00:45:15

the other one only had hurdles and

00:45:17

obstacles what were the what were they H

00:45:20

it would like everything um everything

00:45:23

that could go wrong yeah went wrong like

00:45:25

their scar wasn't healing

00:45:28

and then like the pain

00:45:31

like I haven't had one even since that

00:45:34

rupture in 2020 I haven't had a painfree

00:45:37

day in that arili since even like to

00:45:39

this day and so dealing with that and

00:45:41

then that's when I got diagnosed with

00:45:43

the sertic arthritis and then they

00:45:46

ultrasound my arches and they then my

00:45:48

rheumatologist is like oh your arches

00:45:50

could snap at any time like all of this

00:45:52

Doppler is inflammation in the Ares so

00:45:55

we had to completely halt

00:45:57

all and I just started running again and

00:45:59

I was like GH so I had to completely

00:46:02

stop all running and jumping so go like

00:46:05

way back in my rehab get medication on

00:46:08

board to get hopefully settled down the

00:46:10

inflammation it was just a really long

00:46:13

emotional process how I so the day after

00:46:16

you you're crying in the plane as we

00:46:18

know thanks social media got us in is it

00:46:21

nowhere that secret I know and then

00:46:23

you're crying at the airport when when

00:46:25

did the when did the tears stop when do

00:46:26

you managed to sort of compart

00:46:28

compartmentalize it and go okay this is

00:46:30

um like the next day yeah really yeah I

00:46:33

don't yeah the next day I'm not a big

00:46:35

crier you just got it getting it out and

00:46:38

STP it and then my dad actually took me

00:46:41

to my surgeon's office and we the next

00:46:43

day which actually it was that day Dad

00:46:45

was out buying The Lawns and I was like

00:46:46

Dad stews Rong we got to go and Dad's

00:46:49

like like I don't even they know if you

00:46:51

turn the lawn M off he raced inside he

00:46:53

was like yep yep got his keys got in the

00:46:55

car and like we headed off for the

00:46:57

appointment so yeah I like when I know

00:47:00

I've got a plan in place I can kind of

00:47:03

move forward but how how was your mental

00:47:05

health over that time um it got to a

00:47:08

point actually where I did really

00:47:09

struggle and i' I'd bought my own house

00:47:12

by this time so I'd moved out

00:47:16

and I love my parents so much I bought a

00:47:19

house four doors up from them so I

00:47:21

remember one day like it probably got to

00:47:23

the point where I couldn't hold in how I

00:47:26

was feeling anymore like I was really

00:47:28

really struggling and so I just remember

00:47:31

like building up the car and which is so

00:47:33

funny cuz I'm so close with my parents

00:47:35

like they know everything about me even

00:47:37

if I've made mistakes growing up as a

00:47:39

kid like dumb things you know that young

00:47:40

kids teenagers do I've confess to my

00:47:43

parents and be like Oh and they don't

00:47:45

need to know like it's over I hav hurt

00:47:48

anybody but I'd always have to tell my

00:47:50

parents like cuz I just was that's a

00:47:52

relationship we had and that's why I

00:47:55

understand why like people say about me

00:47:57

to house just ask for help I was like

00:48:00

I've got the most amazing relationships

00:48:02

with my parents and even I struggled to

00:48:03

ask for help but I finally built up the

00:48:05

courage to go down there and I just sat

00:48:07

there and I just like yeah was like I'm

00:48:10

struggling and I just remember balling

00:48:12

my eyes out and I think I was like five

00:48:13

or 6 months post rupture so like i' been

00:48:16

on the rehab Journey a

00:48:18

while and they just like to Boom TV went

00:48:21

off full attention on me and we're like

00:48:23

we've got you we know like if you want

00:48:26

to give

00:48:27

we don't blame you like you've been

00:48:30

through enough like you can stop and I

00:48:32

remember thinking I don't want to stop

00:48:33

though and they were like sweet like

00:48:35

what do we need to do we've got you and

00:48:37

that's when I think they cranked up the

00:48:39

nipple training partner mode and we're

00:48:41

like we'll do whatever it takes to help

00:48:42

you like what do you need from us and I

00:48:45

was just like to be honest I don't need

00:48:47

anything from you I just need you to

00:48:48

know I'm not okay but I will be okay

00:48:51

like don't worry about me I just need

00:48:53

you to know that I'm

00:48:54

struggling cuz it's a tough one cuz I

00:48:56

supp the two options are a just just

00:48:58

giving up which is understandable or B

00:49:01

just plowing on through but you know how

00:49:03

[ __ ] hard the the road ahead is yeah

00:49:06

is that what you were just like just

00:49:08

daunted by that yeah I and just knowing

00:49:12

that I was doing like the same thing day

00:49:14

in day out and I was going to Mystics

00:49:18

training and was like this real

00:49:20

positivity still cuz now I'm in my

00:49:21

second season on the bench for Mystics

00:49:23

too so I've just watched my

00:49:25

teammates do a whole season without me

00:49:28

and now I've got to watch them do a

00:49:29

whole another season without me and I

00:49:31

loved going to training but man it took

00:49:33

a lot some days to put on this real cuz

00:49:35

no one wants a mopy sulky person who's

00:49:39

the sad girl in the stay home if you're

00:49:41

going to sulk um so I made a real effort

00:49:43

to like try and be like positive for

00:49:45

them but then I got to the point where

00:49:47

like then I'd come home and I had none

00:49:49

for myself I had no positive energy to

00:49:52

give myself so realizing that was

00:49:55

probably huge for me as well while and

00:49:57

then also realizing that once I told my

00:50:00

parents it was easier to keep talking

00:50:03

about it and to keep being to keep

00:50:05

saying yeah I'm not good today or I'm

00:50:07

okay today and just keep trying to find

00:50:10

ways to like bring joy to my own life

00:50:13

yeah how how did you do that just by

00:50:16

trying to do things my parents have got

00:50:17

a boat so like we I remember we'd go out

00:50:19

on the boat quite a bit and just like

00:50:22

being out on the ocean was nice and just

00:50:24

doing things that weren't nbol all

00:50:26

weren't rehab cuz they took up so much

00:50:29

in my

00:50:30

day why um what did keep you going why

00:50:33

didn't you give up I mean you know

00:50:36

because you you you're very good at nitb

00:50:37

but it's not like who defines it's not

00:50:39

what defines you like you've got a great

00:50:41

job as a teacher you've got some

00:50:42

qualifications behind you yeah I just

00:50:44

love it yeah and like I think I'd had

00:50:46

like 11 11 caps in the silver ferns at

00:50:50

that point and I really I really wanted

00:50:53

more and I knew I could contribute to

00:50:56

the like the greater good of a team and

00:50:58

I really wanted to see myself achieve

00:51:01

more and at that time I was young and

00:51:04

like I knew I I had time if I was at 30

00:51:08

oh don't get me wrong I would have been

00:51:09

H hanging up the boots and been like see

00:51:11

you later but cuz I was young enough to

00:51:15

make a comeback that's kind of what kept

00:51:16

me going knowing that I had time oh it's

00:51:19

inspir the drive is inspirational

00:51:22

especially from where like from where

00:51:23

you are now and what you've been through

00:51:25

since coming back um is this the biggest

00:51:27

adversity you've ever been through in

00:51:28

your

00:51:29

life uh yeah I yeah y y and that's a

00:51:34

thing and that's probably another thing

00:51:35

that I really really struggled with it

00:51:38

happened just before Co so you're seeing

00:51:41

people's lives get turned upside down

00:51:43

every single day you hear stories in the

00:51:45

media of all these people losing jobs

00:51:48

losing family members and not being able

00:51:49

to be by their family members sides

00:51:52

like you just saw all of this and then

00:51:55

so it played into who am I to complain

00:51:59

like perspective cuz what's happened to

00:52:01

me is actually nothing compared to other

00:52:03

people but it was so hard cuz to me it

00:52:05

was the end of my world so I was like

00:52:08

balancing like trying not to talk about

00:52:10

it to other people because of what other

00:52:11

people are going through so it's like

00:52:13

this weird conflicting time in the world

00:52:17

and then it was a weird conflicting time

00:52:19

in my little world yeah misery misery

00:52:23

comparisons were dangerous so I was like

00:52:25

oh I've got nothing to complain about

00:52:27

really like but you still do though yeah

00:52:29

but that was weird and hard and to

00:52:31

navigate what were the um did that guy

00:52:33

Rod give you any any like useful tips or

00:52:35

tricks or pointers that yeah we talked a

00:52:37

lot the one thing that like he itched he

00:52:41

said it once but somehow itched onto my

00:52:44

brain was how many times have you played

00:52:47

and trade netball in your whole entire

00:52:49

life I was like I'd hate to know like

00:52:52

thousands is how many times have you

00:52:54

raptured your arules and I was like oh

00:52:56

well tce he's like well so the odds or

00:52:58

like the percentage is so so

00:53:01

slim and cuz I did have like a bit of

00:53:03

PTSD after my my second IES rupture like

00:53:07

anytime that someone would like trip up

00:53:09

my heart would pound at like 100 miles

00:53:12

an hour and I would like start like

00:53:14

sweating and then I like couldn't watch

00:53:16

the training for a little bit and I had

00:53:18

to like regulate and I could watch again

00:53:21

and I just had this fear that every

00:53:23

single person every time they slightly

00:53:25

hurt like fell or did had hurt thems

00:53:27

like badly um so I had to like get over

00:53:31

there but then yeah and so when I came

00:53:33

back I just had that in my mind every

00:53:35

time I was warming up and I was like you

00:53:36

got to be Fearless otherwise there's no

00:53:38

point being in this training so I would

00:53:41

just dump those feelings and train yeah

00:53:43

100% And what biggest learnings about

00:53:46

yourself are you tougher than what you

00:53:48

thought you were or oh I always knew I

00:53:50

was tough I always knew I was tough but

00:53:52

but this is like next level tough though

00:53:55

this is a lot to be thrown at one person

00:53:57

yeah um I probably just learned that if

00:54:00

you want something you can you can get

00:54:02

after it and it taught me that I

00:54:05

actually really do enjoy what I do and

00:54:07

that when it was taken away from me I

00:54:08

was devastated because I love it so much

00:54:11

um so it's nice to know that I actually

00:54:12

enjoy what I'm doing yeah that's saying

00:54:14

you don't know what you've lost until

00:54:15

it's gone yeah did did you have any um I

00:54:18

know there was a lot of like Physical

00:54:19

Therapy but what about like mental

00:54:20

therapy you go do any therapy or

00:54:22

anything during this time yeah I I we've

00:54:24

got this really awesome

00:54:27

we got like a Players Association and

00:54:29

through them we can reach out to

00:54:30

counselors so I did reach out to a

00:54:32

couple but people do say that like you

00:54:35

don't always

00:54:36

connect with somebody yeah sometimes

00:54:39

when I started therapy that's why um

00:54:41

some some friends said to me they said

00:54:42

it's like going on a a tnder date yeah

00:54:45

you got to we ofie if we find the right

00:54:47

one I met my man on Bumble so I

00:54:50

understand but yeah I so I had a few

00:54:52

conversations with different ones but I

00:54:53

didn't feel like it really landed with

00:54:56

me yeah um so I just went back to my

00:54:59

mate Rod cuz he like he's also like he's

00:55:02

not there to be like a counselor he's

00:55:04

there to like help us with like our

00:55:06

performance mindset and things like that

00:55:08

and so I really tried not to go to him

00:55:11

cuz I just wanted to have a cry and

00:55:12

wanted to understand but then I realized

00:55:14

well to be honest I can go back to my

00:55:16

friend

00:55:17

Rod who who is this guy he's come up a

00:55:19

lot what's his last name what uh Corbin

00:55:21

he does Rod Corbin mental skills coach

00:55:24

for he does like lots with Cricket

00:55:26

hockey meatball he does Lots with lots

00:55:28

of different sports I might have to get

00:55:29

him on the podcast you've spoken very

00:55:31

highly about him today because he like

00:55:33

because he is involved in all of my

00:55:35

injuries so you like you know he needs

00:55:37

some mention and um I so so so you get

00:55:41

over both the AR kelles when when do you

00:55:43

start playing again when's that is that

00:55:45

where are we at now is that the start of

00:55:47

that would have been so once I got over

00:55:49

that it what do we would have been 2022

00:55:51

2022 years and um that was when the um

00:55:54

the silver FS won um a silver medal at

00:55:57

the common worth games I think that was

00:55:58

in bingh so I I played that 2022 a andz

00:56:03

season that I didn't play that well okay

00:56:06

so it's for the mystics and yeah okay

00:56:09

was my first year back in two years and

00:56:11

like I played every game and I didn't

00:56:13

play bad but I didn't play like how I

00:56:17

normally would play yeah why was that

00:56:20

you lost like match Fitness or no I was

00:56:22

I was fit like I was really fit cuz all

00:56:24

I was doing was running you know what I

00:56:26

mean playing playing Fitness a different

00:56:28

sort of thing I just my skill set was

00:56:30

probably not as sharp as it needed to be

00:56:32

I would say was the main thing okay so

00:56:34

you're back playing again um but you

00:56:36

weren't good enough to be selected for

00:56:38

the silver fans no um which I knew as

00:56:40

well like when I I was gutted I didn't

00:56:43

make the any squads but I wasn't

00:56:45

surprised that makes sense

00:56:47

like I I didn't cry I didn't think oh me

00:56:51

I was I like I didn't I was like I I

00:56:53

don't deserve to be there yeah and I I

00:56:56

knew that so it was it was okay okay did

00:56:59

did you watch the games though they were

00:57:00

oh yeah absolutely like I said a big

00:57:01

nipple fan over here right and and I

00:57:03

suppose they're all your friends and

00:57:04

stuff abolutely so you didn't have a

00:57:06

sense of like fomo when they won a medal

00:57:08

no okay they deserved to be there and

00:57:10

they had to work really hard for that

00:57:11

medal and they yeah and then what about

00:57:13

2023 that was the netball World Cup um

00:57:16

you missed out on that as well I did

00:57:19

indeed I did inde that one hurt that one

00:57:22

cut real deep yeah did it why did that

00:57:24

one hurt um I thought that in

00:57:27

2023 this is obviously my personal

00:57:29

opinion I'm not a selector or

00:57:31

anything I thought that I had had the

00:57:34

best year of net i' ever had in my life

00:57:37

um

00:57:39

I I and I felt like I was I felt like I

00:57:43

was the best Wing defense in the a andz

00:57:45

I was turning over good ball I was

00:57:47

attacking well I was leading down the

00:57:49

defensive end well I just felt like I

00:57:50

was on and I was like firing and and

00:57:53

Mystics won last year and we won so the

00:57:55

the nipple cup so that was after the a

00:57:57

andz competition so I I remember I

00:58:02

remember being by my I knew that squads

00:58:05

and stuff was getting announced like I

00:58:07

wasn't in any squad so I didn't get any

00:58:09

communication but obviously my friends

00:58:11

know so I'm like when is I'm texting

00:58:13

them when are we when is everyone

00:58:14

finding out what's the go cuz I know I

00:58:16

know that girls find out before media

00:58:18

right cuz like you've got to can't just

00:58:20

find out because you're reading the

00:58:22

news and I remember my phone didn't ring

00:58:27

and I remember sitting in the New World

00:58:28

Car Park like by my house and the the

00:58:32

media release like came out with the

00:58:34

names of people that had been selected

00:58:36

and like I was not even like a training

00:58:39

partner I was I was nowhere I was

00:58:41

nothing and I remember boiling my eyes

00:58:45

out cuz I just thought man out of any

00:58:48

time in my entire nipple career for any

00:58:50

team I've ever wanted I wanted that more

00:58:53

than anything and I had worked so hard

00:58:56

to get that and to not get it I was yeah

00:59:01

then I didn't even make the silver Fern

00:59:03

Squad if like they came back from the

00:59:05

Nal World Cup and I wasn't even in the

00:59:07

squad and I and that's when it dawned on

00:59:10

me oh I'm not if I can play like that

00:59:13

and still not be wanted oh I'm out they

00:59:16

just don't want me at all did you think

00:59:18

that was an age thing or do they give

00:59:20

you any cuz I know the old blacks give

00:59:22

um like dropped players or players that

00:59:24

are on the front some work on I get

00:59:26

everyone gets feedback yeah yeah what

00:59:28

sort of what what feedback did you get

00:59:30

no get more ball defensively like you

00:59:34

know just just nipple specific feedback

00:59:36

that everyone would get how long how

00:59:39

long were you upset for before it turned

00:59:40

to like a

00:59:42

rage I I remember posting in my family

00:59:46

group chat being like I didn't make it

00:59:49

and then going I was at the supermarket

00:59:52

to go home and cook dinner I remember

00:59:54

just going to my mom's and just probably

00:59:56

raging then a bit and and not raging and

01:00:00

then when I take a step back there's two

01:00:04

cutting you've had on your podcast and

01:00:05

there's Kate Heff and they don't play

01:00:08

they last year in 2023 they don't play

01:00:10

Wing defense in the A and Z but they can

01:00:14

play Wing defense at ferns level like

01:00:16

the coach will slide them there so when

01:00:18

I look at the when I put take my

01:00:20

emotional head off and put my selector

01:00:22

head on I can understand why why I

01:00:24

wasn't selected and I understand that

01:00:26

those two cover that position and

01:00:28

they're incredible athletes so after I

01:00:31

raged about myself when I stepped back

01:00:34

and kind of took my yeah put my coach's

01:00:36

head on I can understand why I didn't

01:00:37

make the team and like I was actually

01:00:39

okay with it in the end but at the time

01:00:41

I was very upset and and it's okay to

01:00:44

rage especially in your you're in a

01:00:45

circle like stages of grief or whatever

01:00:48

it is you're allowed to go through these

01:00:50

things but I can understand that you had

01:00:51

a great year yeah I did and I felt like

01:00:53

I did I was like what else do I need to

01:00:54

do so so where are things at now so

01:00:57

we're in 2024 now um it's AZ A&Z cup at

01:01:01

the time we're recording this you were

01:01:02

what third on the table yeah you're

01:01:04

where you should be um do the the silver

01:01:08

FS for this year get announced yeah

01:01:10

after this well we actually had trials

01:01:14

to go to the northern tour in December

01:01:16

and I actually made it back into the fs

01:01:18

so in January I went with the F to

01:01:20

England and I played like a four match

01:01:22

series with the F so I'm like feel like

01:01:24

I'm I'm back yeah and that was

01:01:27

incredible but it was almost like a

01:01:31

feeling of

01:01:33

like how do I explain it you know when

01:01:35

you're like in in the moment and it's

01:01:38

not too later that you reflect back on

01:01:39

it and being like man I did

01:01:41

that when I was in the when I was

01:01:44

actually in England living living it I

01:01:47

remember walking into the stadium

01:01:48

looking up and being like man I did it

01:01:51

like I'm here like how freaking cool is

01:01:54

this and my mom actually flew over to

01:01:56

what cuz like she would never not she

01:01:58

wouldn't miss 5 years of me not being in

01:02:00

the F she would not be missing it for

01:02:02

anything and I just remember being like

01:02:05

to her we had a bit of downtime and I

01:02:06

went to Hotel I'm like we're actually

01:02:08

here

01:02:10

like we did it and it wasn't just me who

01:02:13

had done it like my parents had done it

01:02:15

too to get me back there so it was a

01:02:18

really um heartfelt tour for me even

01:02:23

though I didn't play a whole lot I still

01:02:25

played a bit and just yeah knowing that

01:02:27

I even if I never make it back there

01:02:29

again knowing I did it I'm like that's

01:02:31

cool yeah and just how much harder you

01:02:33

to work than anyone else there I got I

01:02:35

got bumps just hearing that that's a

01:02:37

great story God that's a lot yeah it's a

01:02:40

lot that was yeah what was that moment

01:02:42

with your mom just like a sense of just

01:02:44

overwhelming Pride yeah it was

01:02:48

like yeah just looking up finding her in

01:02:52

the stands first of all and just looking

01:02:54

at her and connecting with her and being

01:02:55

like we did it

01:02:57

and then just once you're playing you're

01:02:58

just playing you forget about everything

01:02:59

you're in the zone but yeah that and the

01:03:01

whole tour I just and every team meeting

01:03:03

I just remember cuz no's the coach she's

01:03:06

so incredible and I remember like taking

01:03:08

in everything she's saying and trying to

01:03:10

contribute the best I can cuz I'm I

01:03:12

might never be back so may as well like

01:03:14

enjoy every moment and take every single

01:03:16

opportunity you can so so Dame Noland

01:03:19

did she give you the call in the

01:03:21

beginning of the year to say you're in

01:03:22

that she said after the trials had

01:03:24

finished she came and sat with me and

01:03:27

she said you're in I'm taking you and I

01:03:30

was like and they were taking training

01:03:32

partners and I was like I'm I in or am I

01:03:34

H in like what what in are you talking

01:03:36

about and she just like kind of like

01:03:39

paded me on the back and she was like

01:03:41

you've like you've worked so incredibly

01:03:43

hard cuz no has been there for the whole

01:03:45

journey she was there when I ruptured

01:03:46

both the AR's like she'd been on the

01:03:48

meetings to hear if I'm in or if I'm out

01:03:50

or what's happening so she knows as well

01:03:52

and she's heard through the snc and the

01:03:54

videos how hard I've had to work so yeah

01:03:56

it was really a nice moment for her to

01:03:58

be like n you've you deserve this enjoy

01:04:01

your enjoy like just go and enjoy your

01:04:03

opportunity oh that's amazing so it was

01:04:05

really nice that is so cool what what

01:04:07

makes her such a good coach everyone

01:04:10

speaks really highly I know they do way

01:04:12

I I like her style

01:04:14

like she about old school in terms of I

01:04:19

guess her approach she she doesn't she's

01:04:22

not there to be a best friend not saying

01:04:24

she's not friendly in approachable but

01:04:26

she's not there to be your best friend

01:04:28

she's the coach to get the best out of

01:04:29

us and I love that and I also don't want

01:04:32

my coach to be my best friend like I've

01:04:34

got enough of them um and just when she

01:04:39

speaks you want to listen you know some

01:04:42

people are just like that a like she

01:04:44

some real Mana yeah absolutely and

01:04:46

like I it's hard to describe unless

01:04:49

you're in the room but I just really

01:04:52

enjoy her company and I resp and I guess

01:04:56

cuz the level of respect I have for her

01:04:57

is so high that's why when she speaks it

01:05:00

holds so much weight and value and when

01:05:03

I was younger in the environment I

01:05:06

probably struggled to connect with her a

01:05:09

little bit because of my own stuff I was

01:05:12

maybe scared to go talk to her I I

01:05:15

didn't know how to approach but now I'm

01:05:16

older going back in oh sweet is if I

01:05:19

want feedback I've got to go get it if I

01:05:22

want to understand something more I've

01:05:24

got to go and so felt like when I was in

01:05:26

in jry I was able to have a better

01:05:30

connection with her because she isn't

01:05:33

going to make sure that I understand

01:05:36

everything 100% And that it's my

01:05:39

responsibility to go to her and I felt

01:05:41

like I got a lot out of her cuz I was

01:05:43

willing to go and approach just as much

01:05:47

does that make sense that makes a lot of

01:05:49

sense that makes So like um there's a

01:05:51

book I read by this guy called Joo

01:05:53

willink he's like a Navy SEAL dude it's

01:05:54

called Extreme ownership

01:05:56

and it's about just like taking control

01:05:58

of everything yourself yes and I be

01:06:00

proactive go and ask her for feedback

01:06:02

and cuz she's not scary or she seems

01:06:04

scar oh like I mean I'd probably be

01:06:07

scared of her if she was yelling at me

01:06:08

but she is she a yell Noah she's not um

01:06:12

but yeah she's just awesome and you're

01:06:14

right she's got so much mana and yeah

01:06:16

you really want to listen when she's

01:06:18

speaking what's your career highlight so

01:06:20

far would it be making the fs for the

01:06:22

first time winning um with the mystics

01:06:24

last year making it back into the silver

01:06:26

FS at the beginning of this year my

01:06:28

career highlight is actually winning

01:06:32

gold at the youth World Cup in

01:06:34

Botswana just because of how much went

01:06:37

into that like we were young we were 16

01:06:39

year olds get selected for this under 21

01:06:42

Squad and man we grinded they had us in

01:06:45

the gym like We're Young we're at Uni

01:06:46

we're at school we're going like 3 four

01:06:49

mornings a week at 6:00 a.m. to do

01:06:50

strength and conditioning I've never

01:06:52

done strength and conditioning in my

01:06:53

life at this point learning all these

01:06:55

new things getting all this conditioning

01:06:58

work track shuttles all these things I'd

01:07:00

never done before and man at camps they

01:07:04

absolutely like pummeled us for four

01:07:07

years they trained us into the ground

01:07:08

like it was amazing don't get me wrong

01:07:10

but it was

01:07:11

hard and a week be and then I got

01:07:14

selected in that team and then I got

01:07:16

made captain of that team wow and then

01:07:19

like maybe a week before me my mom and

01:07:21

dad and the team would du to fly out to

01:07:23

Botswana my n passed away

01:07:26

and she was like Liv around the corner

01:07:29

from my house so really super close with

01:07:31

my

01:07:32

grandparents and then so I had the

01:07:34

funeral my whole team came that was

01:07:37

incredible then I just left my entire

01:07:39

family to go to the other side of the

01:07:41

world to play in this tournament that

01:07:43

I'd worked so hard for and I remember my

01:07:45

parents came a few days later and my mom

01:07:47

just looked you can imagine if your mom

01:07:50

had just passed away right especially

01:07:51

cuz my mom and her mom were so close my

01:07:53

mom just like drained and I just

01:07:55

remember

01:07:56

thinking my poor mom is here on the

01:07:59

other side of the world and her mom has

01:08:01

just passed away to support me like

01:08:04

we've got to like we have to win this

01:08:08

like like and I and then the night

01:08:12

before the final I was asleep and my

01:08:15

nana like came to me in a dream and she

01:08:18

actually had her leg amputated cuz she

01:08:20

had diabetes and she in her dream we

01:08:23

were flicking in my dream we were

01:08:25

flicking through a photo album and she

01:08:27

had both legs and she was really Housey

01:08:29

looking before she passed away she

01:08:30

wasn't like looking very good and she

01:08:33

just looked like beautiful and radiant

01:08:36

and like she held my hand and she's like

01:08:38

I'm good like I'm I'm good like don't

01:08:41

worry about me like and I remember

01:08:44

waking up and just boiling my eyes out

01:08:47

to be like holy heck and

01:08:50

then I just remember like like telling

01:08:54

Mom like she like she's okay like we can

01:08:57

let her go and we can go [ __ ] win

01:08:59

this thing and then so yeah winning that

01:09:01

was like the most incredible moment and

01:09:04

just having my mom and dad there and

01:09:06

then my granddad who we left back in New

01:09:07

Zealand was with my auntie on FaceTime

01:09:10

and just that we could celebrate that

01:09:12

moment together was like honestly we

01:09:14

still talk about it as family today like

01:09:16

that was just an incredible moment for

01:09:18

to win but to be together to celebrate

01:09:21

all of that was just like I didn't foret

01:09:23

and that dream as well I know it's in

01:09:25

your own mind that it's still powerful

01:09:28

yeah yeah like it

01:09:30

was and just like at the timing timing

01:09:33

of it all and it just really got me

01:09:35

through that one more game cuz at that

01:09:37

time it's a tournament and you're

01:09:38

exhausted and you're like got to go play

01:09:40

Australia and a 60-minute final like get

01:09:43

up again one more time so um so so last

01:09:46

year the mystics won um the a cup and um

01:09:49

you were Sulu Fitzpatrick was um the

01:09:52

captain and that was like her last game

01:09:54

what a send off and then you you took

01:09:56

over did you were you like ear to be

01:09:58

captain or you get shoulder tapped how

01:10:01

do you find out you Captain that's a big

01:10:03

responsibility in a big honor I had been

01:10:05

like the Vice Captain for like 5 years

01:10:07

okay so like I'd been there for a while

01:10:10

like even maybe longer um so I'd always

01:10:13

you're like Prince Charles waiting

01:10:16

waiting for the queen I'd always been in

01:10:17

a leadership role at Mystic since like

01:10:19

my second year in the team um but I said

01:10:23

to

01:10:24

Tia I I really don't want to lead this I

01:10:26

really don't want to lead this team if

01:10:28

they don't want me to lead like can you

01:10:30

please put a survey out like ask the

01:10:32

girls who they want cuz if it's not me I

01:10:34

don't want to do it um like that would

01:10:37

just be weird right like you need you

01:10:39

got to have the backing you got have the

01:10:40

backing otherwise it's hard and like I

01:10:42

would I am happy not to do it if they

01:10:45

think somebody else was better for the

01:10:46

job um turns out they did choose me so I

01:10:50

got the job and you'd hope so after 5

01:10:53

years as Vice

01:10:55

you know what I'm going to just

01:10:56

relinquish all duties at this point

01:10:58

somebody else can do it um probably just

01:11:01

cuz the girls also know how much I love

01:11:03

the team and I will do anything for the

01:11:06

team so they probably thought oh yeah

01:11:08

she can deal with all of that extra

01:11:09

stuff yeah and from what we've talked

01:11:10

about in the last hour like you probably

01:11:12

like proved yourself with how you how

01:11:14

you held yourself uh when you were not

01:11:16

playing as much as how you've held

01:11:18

yourself on the court I don't know yeah

01:11:21

and probably cuz they're like oh she's

01:11:23

been waiting long enough to do the job

01:11:24

just give it to her

01:11:25

she's not going to go away otherwise um

01:11:28

what about goal setting plans for the

01:11:29

future uh plans for the future

01:11:32

honestly like just be healthy like I'm

01:11:36

really realistic about my future um I

01:11:40

take it year by year like if my body's

01:11:42

not going to allow me to do it I I'm not

01:11:44

even 30 yet um I've still need to live

01:11:47

in this body for a really long time so

01:11:50

if I'm going to keep smashing it into

01:11:51

the ground I've got to be prepared to

01:11:53

not be able to do much later in

01:11:56

and I don't want to do that so in terms

01:11:58

of sport my goals are just to take it

01:12:00

year by so I don't really have any um I

01:12:04

like I'd love to get back in the ferns

01:12:06

at the end of the a andz season I'd love

01:12:07

to win this a andz season I'd love to

01:12:09

play good netball

01:12:11

but as far as that goes not much you how

01:12:15

old what are you 277 yeah are you

01:12:17

worried about life post netball and how

01:12:19

that's going to look in terms of you

01:12:21

know your your physical carcass yeah am

01:12:24

a bit and that's why I'm trying to be

01:12:26

really proactive and looking after

01:12:28

myself now but also not trying to plan

01:12:31

too far ahead in case I actually can't

01:12:32

get

01:12:33

there yeah yeah cuz you don't want to be

01:12:35

like a a 35y old mom that that's you're

01:12:39

rubbing your knees before you go to back

01:12:41

with you I want to teach my kids like

01:12:44

that they can't beat me in anything

01:12:46

physical until they're at least like 17

01:12:49

like I want to be really competitive

01:12:50

like owning them in all Backyard Sports

01:12:54

not like being the on the sideline cuz I

01:12:56

can't move and what about outside of

01:12:58

netball what are you into what do you do

01:13:00

um to be honest I'm really thinking hard

01:13:02

about that I don't think I want to be a

01:13:04

teacher I but I don't know what I want

01:13:06

to do I love education and I love

01:13:08

teaching about health but I would love

01:13:11

to go and somehow teach it to people who

01:13:13

really want to be there like and I don't

01:13:16

know who that is but like maybe adult

01:13:18

education in some way or some

01:13:21

form but I don't know what that looks

01:13:24

like and what about coaching you mention

01:13:27

you did a bit of your a bit of coaching

01:13:29

when you were no no that seems like airm

01:13:31

that you've said no four times yeah I I

01:13:34

would maybe one day like later in my

01:13:36

career but not anytime soon yeah yeah

01:13:38

yeah and and what about your partner you

01:13:40

mentioned before you met your partner on

01:13:42

Bumble how long have you been together

01:13:44

uh a year and a halfish I so you've

01:13:47

deleted the apps

01:13:48

yeah I

01:13:51

actually we after our first date we went

01:13:53

on our second date and like after that

01:13:55

we spent like 5 days with each other

01:13:57

without leaving and like he's just why

01:14:00

was that a lockdown thing or by choice

01:14:01

no by choice like he's just my person

01:14:03

and I love him with all my soul and he's

01:14:06

just my person and I don't know what our

01:14:09

future looks like but I just not like I

01:14:11

don't know how to explain it but I just

01:14:12

know in my soul that we're going to have

01:14:14

a really like joyful happy life probably

01:14:17

cuz he's not stubborn like me and like

01:14:19

he's is he more like your D he's more

01:14:21

like my D he's more calm and like if I'm

01:14:24

like my creation

01:14:26

like he's just there like but he can put

01:14:30

me in my place when I need it and I need

01:14:32

that um so we yeah we just have the most

01:14:34

amazing relationship and I just feel so

01:14:36

thankful that I somehow met him yeah how

01:14:40

were you quite active on the apps no he

01:14:42

was just like up in my area for work

01:14:46

randomly staying with a friend and then

01:14:48

we match and he was like do you want to

01:14:50

do this this this and this and I was

01:14:51

like I'm not doing any of those things

01:14:52

with you all of the people in the a

01:14:55

small tiny Community I live in know me

01:14:57

because it's a small place like no I'm

01:14:59

not having people know my business then

01:15:02

we ended up going

01:15:04

skateboarding yeah know random what were

01:15:06

his initial suggestions oh like dinner

01:15:09

and like coffee and like all these plac

01:15:11

very reasonable which I would I would

01:15:13

know people at these places potentially

01:15:15

so I'm like I'm not having people know

01:15:16

my business so it was like I I had

01:15:19

training on my own training from like

01:15:21

7:00 to 8:30 so I was like I can meet

01:15:22

you at 8:30 like a.m. and he was like

01:15:25

that's bit okay weird I was like but

01:15:27

then I've got an appointment at 9:30 so

01:15:28

like fit in that Gap or like jog on and

01:15:31

he was like no no like that's fine so

01:15:33

yeah we went somehow to the skate park

01:15:35

[ __ ] you wouldn't want to be hitting the

01:15:36

achilles with a board would you no I

01:15:38

know I know wow I that's not something I

01:15:41

sort of thought about but I yeah suppose

01:15:42

the area you're in you

01:15:44

ftin place like but also um like you

01:15:47

mentioned before about people spotting

01:15:48

you at the airport and in the the

01:15:50

airplane when you you're crying that

01:15:52

sort of recognition I suppose you don't

01:15:54

know who I gu I was in all my kids so

01:15:57

it's easier to spot me but like my local

01:15:59

you know and I'm a teacher as well I

01:16:01

don't want kids being out Miss on a date

01:16:04

like you know like and because you can

01:16:06

tell if it's a first date right it's

01:16:07

awkward and it's weird just the way they

01:16:10

interact and talk with each other it

01:16:11

does big first absolutely I do not want

01:16:14

that yeah oh that's cool well it seems

01:16:16

like everything's going really well and

01:16:18

um yeah touch I don't even think that's

01:16:20

word yeah um but best of luck for

01:16:22

everything are you are you you doing it

01:16:24

like extra good job with stren strength

01:16:26

and conditioning to make sure lots yeah

01:16:29

and like I'm on a bit of a different

01:16:30

program to the rest of my team just

01:16:32

because of like how I am like I I do

01:16:34

need to be treated a little bit

01:16:36

differently um I've got the most amazing

01:16:38

massage therapist who absolutely

01:16:39

annihilates me every week um heaps of

01:16:42

pull heaps of recovery so everything is

01:16:45

good brilliant hey it's been wonderful

01:16:47

to sit down with you today I've really

01:16:48

enjoyed it it's been cool it's um I feel

01:16:51

like a lot of people can get a lot out

01:16:52

of this as well like I did think when I

01:16:54

was coming on I was like [ __ ] I'm boring

01:16:56

compared to all the like cuz I've

01:16:57

listened to the podcast I was like

01:16:58

there's some really awesome people on

01:16:59

here and I'm like what the hell have I

01:17:00

got to offer oh no I think you you'd be

01:17:03

you'd be surprised um maybe if you don't

01:17:05

appreciate it now maybe when you get

01:17:06

older like post Nall you'll realize just

01:17:09

how amazing um it is to come back from

01:17:12

what you've been through yeah and you've

01:17:13

done it with a smile on your face for

01:17:15

the most part yes to the outside world

01:17:18

smiling yes all right hey best of luck

01:17:20

for the um the rest of the Mystic season

01:17:22

and thez cup and um whatever the future

01:17:25

holds okay

01:17:31

[Music]

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

80
Most inspiring
80
Most heartbreaking
80
Best performance
75
Most emotional

Episode Highlights

The Moment of Triumph
Michaela receives the call that she made the Silver Ferns while teaching at school.
“I was like, should only be ringing me for one reason.”
@ 01m 36s
June 12, 2024
Teaching Health and PE
Michaela balances her teaching career with being a professional athlete, focusing on health education.
“Teaching is so hard, but my colleagues are amazing.”
@ 11m 54s
June 12, 2024
Olympic Pressure
Facing immense pressure as a young athlete at the Olympics, she reflects on her experience.
“To get fourth was like, what has happened?”
@ 19m 26s
June 12, 2024
Playing with Idols
She shares the joy of playing alongside her childhood heroes in netball.
“I felt so privileged to be in a team that had these massive Superstars.”
@ 21m 10s
June 12, 2024
Perceptions of Women Athletes
She addresses the double standards faced by female athletes regarding drinking culture.
“I should be able to have a wine if I feel like it.”
@ 28m 03s
June 12, 2024
Injury and Recovery
Discussing her Achilles injury, she reveals the emotional impact of the setback.
“It wasn’t even the injury... it was more the shock of what I’m losing.”
@ 30m 56s
June 12, 2024
The Road to Recovery
After a long rehab, she returns to training but faces another injury setback.
“It was literally nine months to the day.”
@ 41m 41s
June 12, 2024
Finding Strength in Struggles
Despite feeling overwhelmed, she learns to communicate her struggles with her family.
“I just remember balling my eyes out... they were like, we’ve got you.”
@ 48m 12s
June 12, 2024
Heartbreak of Missing Out
Reflecting on the pain of not making the netball squad, she shares her emotional journey.
“That one hurt, that one cut real deep.”
@ 57m 19s
June 12, 2024
A Dream Come True
After trials, she makes it back into the Silver Ferns and plays in England.
“I’m back, I’m back!”
@ 01h 01m 24s
June 12, 2024
A Touching Family Moment
During a heartfelt tour, she connects with her mom, celebrating their journey together.
“We did it, like we did it!”
@ 01h 02m 08s
June 12, 2024
Finding Love
She reflects on her relationship, expressing gratitude for her partner's calm presence.
“I just feel so thankful that I somehow met him.”
@ 01h 14m 36s
June 12, 2024

Episode Quotes

I just want to keep going.
Michaela Sokolich-Beatson on Silver Ferns Career, Overcoming Two Achilles Injuries & More!
To get fourth was like, what has happened?
Michaela Sokolich-Beatson on Silver Ferns Career, Overcoming Two Achilles Injuries & More!
I guess it could be worse.
Michaela Sokolich-Beatson on Silver Ferns Career, Overcoming Two Achilles Injuries & More!
I just need you to know I’m not okay but I will be okay.
Michaela Sokolich-Beatson on Silver Ferns Career, Overcoming Two Achilles Injuries & More!
I wanted that more than anything and I had worked so hard.
Michaela Sokolich-Beatson on Silver Ferns Career, Overcoming Two Achilles Injuries & More!
I just feel so thankful that I somehow met him.
Michaela Sokolich-Beatson on Silver Ferns Career, Overcoming Two Achilles Injuries & More!

Key Moments

Injury Struggles02:49
Competitive Spirit04:14
Injury Revelation29:50
Injury Setback41:41
Family Connection1:02:08
Skate Park Adventure1:15:33
Recovery and Strength1:16:38
Podcast Reflection1:16:56

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