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hey Runners only with dime Harley Runners only with dom Harvey and cam Jones g'day mate hello
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mate thanks so much for coming over thank you very much yes um so how are you I'm good yeah yeah
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yeah well you know all things can say I'm alive that counts for something doesn't it yeah oh that doesn't sound
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great oh well you know you're just realistic mate you know yeah it could always be better it's not you know it
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could be worse but it could be better always but you you chose this life yeah I did no no there's a fine line
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between um drive and and uh insanity but uh yeah and I walk that tightrope very very
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carefully actually um I I got a message from um a friend of mine who you have worked with
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um I'll read this out and we'll see if you can guess who it is okay um the the second half is quite telling
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the first half might be a little bit generic oh Cam what a truly lovely guy we were
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also struck by his gorgeous looks lovely nature and professionalism and talent couldn't fault him any ideas
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[Laughter] I'll keep going then yeah uh I did do something silly I walked in on him as he
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was doing his diabetes and I made it so awkward and I wouldn't stop talking about it or asking him questions about
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it and then I sang him happy birthday in part to shut myself up in part because I
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think it truly was his birthday anyway awesome guy I look forward to hearing the chat any idea is this is this a
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actor or is this and it's an actor oh come on this can't have happened more
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than once a lot of people walked in on me awkwardly and then they don't know how
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to deal with me you know doing doing my diabetes you know but um I can't no I
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can't okay I'll put you out of your misery I'm Anna Hutchison who you were
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in uh the movie I love young with Netflix movies that's right yeah right yeah so um the the the diabetes the the
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diabetes yeah right so when were you diagnosed uh I was I was 15 and um I was diagnosed I was I I was
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actually kind of cottoned onto it a little bit earlier than most people would because I I was I had a 50cc
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scooter at the time and I was doing wheelies on it as you do when you're 15.
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and I fell off and and I banged up my leg pretty bad and I got a really bad blood infection from that and it was and
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then I just collapsed in the shower one day from the blood infection I just thought they were pimples but you know
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blood infections so it was pretty bad got taken to hospital and then a hospital they did all the tests and and
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and they're like oh something's not quite right with the hba1c and might to
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come back to some more tests and so went back for some more tests and they're like oh you've got a type 1
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diabetes so yeah it all happened from there and yeah hard age to do it because I was you know 15 you're just starting
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to get into drinking and to girls and you know so and partying and all that kind of stuff
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so it was hard it's a lot it must have felt like the end of your world at that
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I did yeah I didn't even know what it was yeah so I I literally didn't even
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know what it was I was like what is it and what does this mean and blah blah and does this affect me in any way and
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and I mean it does on a daily basis um but yeah it was just so it just solely feel you know like I was just
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like I didn't know anyone with it I didn't know what it was I didn't know
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what to expect so I was just I think even my parents and myself were just all didn't know what to do you know I was
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just so just learning to create a habit out of out of things and stay on top of it but man it was a hard age to deal
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with it and uh yeah and a lot of response responsibility at that age as well yeah so say you're the age you are
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now and you get diagnosed you're like okay I need to inject myself with insurance these times but at 15 it's
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like yeah [ __ ] it's a lot yeah yeah um yeah that must have been that must have
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been depressing it was yeah yeah and it's and to be honest like um it's it still is and it's still you know
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I I've been pretty disciplined the one thing I I was never in denial of it which is a you know when I talked to
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like diabetic nurses and people with hustle and stuff they say a lot of the problems with the young with young kids
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is that they just don't do anything because they're in denial so they just
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won't inject and they just they just don't want to believe that they've got
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it and so um for whatever reason I was I I never did that and I was pretty like I always
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wanted to try and stay on top of it but even when you're doing your best it's
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it's there's so much out of your control you know like so much a fix it you know
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stress affects that exercise affects it like your moods if you know everything can can raise or lower your blood sugars
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and stuff so it was it was it's still hard and I and that's the thing I I try
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to be honest with people or parents when they come up to me and they say hey my my kids being diagnosed diabetes and
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he's struggling with it you know what do you have any advice I'm like to be
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honest it doesn't really get easier and it's still hard for me now like I still
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struggle with it but the important thing is just to do your best I guess and not
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let it take over your life because that's the other thing is like my control's not perfect but at the same
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time I I would have perfect control if I lived in my house every day and just did
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nothing and you know I [ __ ] did the same thing every day not a life though but there's no there's no quality of
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life there so like you've got to find a little balance but I'm also not Reckless
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and I'm not you know out you know partying every night or every weekend you know and living yeah so so you've
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just got to be a little bit smart about it so what does it mean exactly in terms
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of like diet and like what alcohol can you drink or can't you drink can you have clean spirits so oh yeah if I drink
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I'll usually I mean look I drink like vodka is obviously the best because it's
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the cleanest um but it's not the people I think it's the sugar and the alcohol that's not the
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the issue it's the issue is that when you're drinking alcohol your liver
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prioritizes uh filtering the alcohol over filtering food so when you're when you're getting
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drunk your liver's now working in overtime to process all that alcohol and so whatever food you're having is not
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getting processed so that's where it's dangerous because you might have a high
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reading and be like oh [ __ ] so you're so you you know inject for that but um actually it's a false reading because
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once that liver stops processing the alcohol at 3am it's now going to start pressing the food so now you're in
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double insulin you know so that's where it gets a bit dangerous and people get
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into trouble with you know that with heavy drinking and stuff um but but diet wise no I I I eat everything and
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anything you know and I've I've got a real I'm I'm big big burger and sandwich
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person um I don't I don't let it oh come on by the way that's um it's not just an audio
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podcast people can watch this as well no one's going to believe that look at you
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I do we've got leading man good looks I train hard to be able to okay eat there eat your sandwiches the burgers
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but uh people say that to me they're like you can't run away from a bad diet
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and I'm like if you really [ __ ] phone you actually can yeah yeah it's a
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catch-20 too you know I train for the food and I eat the food because I try yeah so it's like but um but I I've done
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a course where I'd like a carb counting course so I know exactly what I can kind of to my best assume how much carbs
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you know are in a certain food and I mean eating out is always hard because I don't know for sure but generally I have
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a pretty good idea of what I'm eating and then I can inject based on that sometimes hit or
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miss but like yeah I've got a pretty so I can eat anything really because I know
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the carb con as long as I know the carb content I'm fine what seems like you
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coexist with it quite successfully I'll try yeah how long has it been now so
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you've got it when you were 15. yeah 32 now you've had it for longer than what
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you haven't had it yeah um and when when did the acting start because your your first um
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your first uh for rent acting it was a um you're in rural Hawke's Bay that's
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right a School production where you played a homosexual Muslim yeah that is right yeah what's what was going on it
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my Oscar with Bugsy Malone every year well we play with this yeah it was a play called
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um a Bridge Over Troubled Waters I think it was it seems like a complex it was it
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was of life it was a dark place it was a very dark play actually so this is pre 50 pre-diabetes or just sort of after
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around the same time probably around the same time maybe afterwards I think I was
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16. yeah maybe maybe a little bit into it was it the leading role no they'll
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kind of have followed a few different it was kind of like that angels in America
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kind of feel where it kind of followed a few different characters and things and
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a few different story lines it's actually a beautiful play I'd love to um read it again you know but um it
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followed a few different story lines and one of those storylines was this this um this gay Muslim and obviously there's
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a bit of a conundrum there with with religion and the sexuality and um at 16 you're like you know like like you
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say you know like most of the school plays are really basically yeah every year you do the musical or the you know
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whatever so to get hit with that you know when he casted and hats off you know props to the Drama
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teacher though for uh doing something for doing something like different because you know that
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that is yeah that's a lot to put on the kids but it also those single swim and and um for
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whatever reason I don't know why I mean at that point I was only taking drama to
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get out of other subjects so I was actually drama was a bit of a piss take up until that point
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for me um and it was just a way to muck around and I never I've always thought drama is
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like improv and theater Sports and things and and so I never thought it was a serious thing and then for whatever
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reason it just just flipped a switch on me and I went um because obviously there was
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especially as a young boy there was there was a um to to play a homosexual it was there was
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a there would always be a tendency to play the camp or to play yeah to Camp it up and be fun and try and be
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funny and try and you know because you're at high school so you're trying
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to get laughs and all that kind of thing you want your mates to know yeah there was elements of homophobia or even
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backwards to know that you're not gay yeah well yeah especially my my school
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and my town you know so um but for whatever reason I just I just really wanted to
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do the character Justice I just had this kind of like light bulb moment where I where I really wanted to walk in those
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shoes and present it as truthfully um uh with Integrity as I could and I'm not sure what spurred there but I just I
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just did and then from there I just you know I really I don't know if I nailed it or not but I really struggle I
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mean did you you must have had feedback though from some people yeah well the drug well after that the Drama teacher
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was really impressed and I started getting you know more you know good you know roles and Productions and things
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like that and then I got cast as a lead the next year for The Crucible which is a more mainstream kind of drama show but
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um I think he I think he actually did it to see if I could challenge myself or rise
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up to that and I'm so glad he did so yeah thank you to him but um it really just awoke something in me that I go oh
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there's actually a really beautiful element of Storytelling and the ability to
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to give Justice to um to people in the world and and to different aspects of life and to and to do something that's
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so with outside of my comfort zone and of what I know and that takes and that forces you to really dive into that and
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to really respect the um the source material and what you're looking at are you would you describe yourself as a
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perfectionist or did you or was it just like a really good Drama teacher that you wanted to do a good job no no I've
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always no no right I think like I've really bad OCD has occurred and uh and growing up as a teenager and stuff so I
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was always a perfectionist for things I always wanted to do things to the best ability
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which drives me insane which is probably why I'm still doing it because I'm just
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yeah borderline insane um but uh yeah so I think that helped as well you know God there's um yeah I'm
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like that with elements and I'm I'm trying to I try and call myself out when
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I do because it's not always healthy right to be a perfectionist no you go you need to like sometimes just relax
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and try and enjoy things for what they are so so there's that School production
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and then so that's a light to firing you is that when what did you want to do for
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a career before the up until that point I wanted to be a politician just yeah yeah yeah I wanted to be an MP really
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well yeah yeah well I love it so when you were like 13 14 15 when I was from from 12 or an
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intermediate I was when we were doing these like career things I was um I I put down on this board and we had
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to write all about our profession and stuff it was all about MPS and I think at the time I was really I loved Winston
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Peters and so I had this whole thing about Winston Peters and and so but yeah I loved it because I loved I loved
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public speaking I'd always do speech competitions I'd win speech competitions
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I did debating I was kept in the debating team loved arguments and general knowledge and all
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that kind of stuff so I think MP just it was I was just like man I want to get into politics and then towards the end
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of high school still kind of wanted to do it but I became a yeah I just thought man that's
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such a I don't know where to start but I started getting more into business and I
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think I wanted I wanted to do property so I wanted to get a Bachelor of property at Auckland uni by the by you
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know end of high school kind of thing were you was it a political household like political debates around the dinner
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table and ah not really no I mean very involved that's a bizarre thing for a
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like a teenager to be yeah well I'm interested my dad was very into politics
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yeah and he was very smart and very knew everything about um all the politicians and and the
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history of New Zealand politics and stuff so I think he was very well informed with general knowledge and
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current events and so I think naturally I just kind of tried to emulate that a little bit and
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try and get myself more involved in that would you ever I mean it's I suppose
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it's one of those doors that's always open if that's a path you want to go
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down yeah um would you ever want yeah I mean you could act now yeah exactly be a
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politician what a politician does I mean I don't know yeah that cam he seems like a nice guy
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but is he just acting exactly yeah yeah nice I mean I mean Arnie's a politician
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you got everything Ronald Reagan he is before your time but uh Ronald Reagan obviously uh more controversial Trump
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and yeah so you've got all these colorful characters get into politics so maybe yeah I don't know maybe New
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Zealand needs it I don't know yeah so so after doing that um that play um is that when you're like this is it this
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is this is my destiny this is what I want to do there wasn't that moment but it was it
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was definitely when I was like oh man this like this is actually really cool this is
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this was a profound experience I mean I walked away learning a lot and I walked away really understanding a lot more
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about myself in a weird way and other people you know and so from there and then there was you know other going
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through high school so that was probably fifth form and then sixth form was The Crucible and the Sim form was a was a
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musical I think um you know and I was still like well because you know one I was in Hawke's
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Bay so like nobody thinks about getting into acting as a as a career so I wasn't even a I was always
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like oh well it's probably just a hobby you know my and and naturally my parents
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like that's a good hobby and then uh and then by the end of high school I I did the scholarship drama and
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I got there and I thought maybe I should give this a crack like maybe there's an
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opportunity to do something with this and then uh we and then it took a year off went down to Wellington worked in
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some theater companies that have did a few shows down there and then I was like I'm going to audition for toy for cardi
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which is the New Zealand drama school right right and back then it was it was quite quite a prestigious and it was
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yeah I had to get into intake of like 12 a year it was intake of 20 and they went
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to 300 you know 300 odd plus audition each year and so I went okay well I I'm
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a big believer in you like my favorite quotas by Julius Caesar's let the dye
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fly you know [Music] before we crossed the Rubicon he he said to his his all his
00:17:09
um commanding soldiers and stuff they were about to cross the Rubicon River and the
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and the his right-hand man basically said to him look once we cross the Rubicon River uh we're committing
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treason and it's an active Civil War and he just says yeah obviously in London
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and he goes let the dye fly let the chips fall where they may and so like we've he's prepared himself up to that
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point and so once he crosses it's up to the you know fate and his preparation and a little bit of luck to
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see the outcome obviously there was a good outcome for him and but I just love that idea is you prepare yourself as
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much as possible you get to a point and just go let's see what happens because
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sometimes it doesn't work and and sometimes it does and but like it's nice and so that was the point I
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just went it's taking calculated risks you know and that's what it was and and so I
00:18:00
think for him for for me it was like well I'm doing like I'm doing pretty
00:18:03
well at this drama thing and what but just by the fact that you got into uh Twitter 300 apply and 20. why you know
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up until well just with uh with School production and then so I was like well if I get into toy I'm gonna I'm gonna
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take this seriously as a career and I'm gonna do this as a career if I don't
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then I'm gonna it would be a hobby and I'll go up to Auckland and I'll I'll do
00:18:25
a bachelor property you know yeah how long is that course though three years three years okay so it's it's not an
00:18:31
insignificant amount of time no no and it's it was hard training yeah was it
00:18:35
eight till five every day Monday or Friday it wasn't like uni like you know we you know your movement classes your
00:18:42
voice classes then your acting classes in specialist classes so we worked with a lot of different forms of theater you
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know mask mime Comedia de latte um so there was a then screen work obviously then we did dance you know
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ballet Jazz it was so it was a really intense program but man it was it was it was beautiful it was like an incubation
00:19:02
um and it was really a the most creative three years of my life really didn't
00:19:08
didn't one of the uh tutors there tell you that you should try stage management
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no there was that was actually the Drama teacher at high school oh okay yeah yeah
00:19:16
when I told him no when I told him I was auditioning for that I want to do audition for toy because he he he he he
00:19:22
actually had a like a top drama student um a school Nikki and uh and she was she
00:19:28
always won the drama awards always won those and and she it was always her and then me in fact like he he loved her and
00:19:35
like love Yeah like she was the star child and and I was like oh I'm thinking
00:19:39
of auditioning for toy and he was like you you maybe you should just do the management course there I was just like
00:19:44
man I can't wait to [ __ ] you yeah yeah it was I was like [ __ ] yeah and I went
00:19:49
back and I went back uh they asked me to come back at one point um this is probably when I was on shorty
00:19:56
and I went back and I was like and I told everyone I was like yeah and Mr Walton said that I shouldn't do the
00:20:01
acting course and so it was a yeah he's like he's like yeah I'm really sorry
00:20:06
about that I was like yeah um yeah I mean it's not the most uh Earnest I guess form of motivation but
00:20:13
um if you if haters are your motivators whatever it takes right yeah yeah oh nothing motivates me more than a [ __ ]
00:20:20
doubt it that's for sure yeah yeah is that just how you wire it yep someone tells you you can't do something and
00:20:25
you're like well thank you 100 yeah like a dog with a bone yeah yeah oh good chat
00:20:30
um and you mentioned some of the things before um that they teach you so uh what
00:20:34
is mask I know what mime is and Comedia dellate did you say clown yeah yeah so so mask and clown are two kind of forms
00:20:45
where you I mean mask work is a pretty old old school theater form but it's it's when it's done well when it's done
00:20:52
properly it's it's absolutely beautiful like I wish there was more kind of
00:20:56
theater where we could see some more mask working things but uh Jacob Raji does uh he does mask work his show that
00:21:05
he just did um he's one of the Masters of New Zealand you know for mask do you wear like a
00:21:13
literal mask or no yes yeah yeah right yeah yeah yeah yeah so the whole you would be surprised like clown you think
00:21:20
is just you know like you don't think that it's a but there's a full form to
00:21:26
it and it's real you once you really appreciate the art it's actually really
00:21:28
beautiful to watch like our first class for clown was which literally just sat in a circle and everybody had to get up
00:21:35
once at one at a time and your goal you couldn't sit down until every every single person in the class laughed so
00:21:42
there were some people out there there we had people crying because they were up there for so long and they couldn't
00:21:48
make everybody laugh and they just started tears of frustration yeah genuine tears not not of happiness
00:21:54
um but it's really hard you know you have the red nose on and you're yeah
00:21:58
yeah it's it's quite yeah yeah it knows it's actually yes it's really cool but
00:22:03
um it just teaches you a different way of looking at um theater forms and it brings it right back to the origins of
00:22:10
acting really and then then what what came first after that was it shortland Street or The
00:22:15
Hobbit because you're into The Hobbit movies yeah I did hold it while I was at
00:22:18
toy okay yeah yeah because yeah so the the cast direct director uh Miranda she she came to uh Toy to do a workshop with
00:22:27
us on casting and and uh from there she just she asked if I'd like to be in The
00:22:32
Hobbit right there was it was an awesome opportunity anyone that's seen the Hobbit would they would they recognize
00:22:38
you or better spot you in it or not I don't think so no but it must have been
00:22:41
a good experience at that age though A great experience yeah like I was uh I mean to be on that [ __ ] for two weeks
00:22:48
you know it was it was like you know and see because I was playing through Andrew
00:22:54
was a lieutenant who's the elf Lord who's played by Lee Pace and just because I had to stand next to him and
00:22:58
every scene that he was in and so he was obviously acting with you know Syria McAllen and uh Luke Evans and and those
00:23:06
the other other top Billings and so to watch them work and just watch them working on this massive multi-million
00:23:13
dollar set and see Peter Jackson and like you know for a drama student I was just like this is the best school ever
00:23:20
like this is a this is incredible and I was getting paid and and the catering was the best thing I've ever had I was
00:23:25
eating noodles at night as a student you know and they had like fresh salmon and
00:23:30
you know so they had it was just I was just like whoa this is this is nuts and just to see the scale of it like I was
00:23:36
like I've never seen anything like it you know the amount of extras and the amount of people crew and the sizes of
00:23:43
the sets I was just like man this is just beautiful man that that just really got me hooked I was like oh I want to do
00:23:50
this this is awesome you know playing make-believe like bow and arrows I was just like this is cool this is awesome
00:23:56
how could you not want to just play with swords and bow and arrows in pretend you're an Alf chasing after towards or
00:24:01
whatever you know it's just like this is just a dream come true yeah but like one
00:24:05
of the one of the most expensive movies ever even made like it's a false a false
00:24:09
sort of reality it was really going from you know from You Know Drama School production to the hospital yeah I can
00:24:17
get used to this yeah but it was awesome to see that extreme you know awesome to
00:24:21
see what that that end of this the Spectrum was um so yeah best opportunity I could have
00:24:27
ever had at that at that age at that at that point yeah did you get to um pick anyone's brains or have any
00:24:32
conversations with anyone that you know you're just keeping your head down I had
00:24:37
a small conversation with Syria McCallum because he had actually come to toy and
00:24:41
and spoke to us and so I kind of just said hey I'm I'm Cam and you actually
00:24:46
came and I think it was like weeks before and I was like hey you know you came and visited us and blah blah and he
00:24:51
he's so friendly he's the nicest guy so he was he was all chats but like I was
00:24:55
very nervous being around everybody else like Lee Pace yeah I had a little conversation but it was yeah it's so
00:25:00
nervous and they've got a hundred people uh dealing with you know they've got
00:25:04
hundreds hundreds of people coming up to them all the time and but I think the coolest thing was watching Luke uh Luke
00:25:10
Evans uh because he's a pretty big dude and works out and stuff and and he had a
00:25:15
guy he he had someone who was coming to sit to him with his protein shake between takes but he is you know just a
00:25:22
job just to bring him a photo shoot I was like that is so cool I'm like I hate
00:25:26
it when someone brings you your protein shake between takes I was like that's
00:25:30
when you know you've done it because I mean the worst I mean you're a protein
00:25:33
shake guy the worst thing about it is having to clean your own [ __ ] blender afterwards imagine that someone else
00:25:37
cleaning the blender yeah exactly exactly so yeah there was that those were the goals yeah see but you don't
00:25:42
get told in those environments like on day one like okay don't [ __ ] with Peter
00:25:46
Jackson don't talk to this person don't take any photos I'll just go without
00:25:51
saying no you got you you get told yeah yeah because they've got that I mean
00:25:54
obviously massive confidentiality issues um but you can talk but also you don't
00:26:00
also don't want to be that guy you don't want to be that person that's like yeah
00:26:02
it's kind of leaking stuff or you know trying to schmooze or I've always found
00:26:07
that difficult like the that line between genuinely trying to connect with someone in the industry and schmoozing
00:26:13
like I've always found that hard because I never wanted to come across as schmoozing or trying to butter someone
00:26:17
up um which which is very hard and then in the industry yeah so I try and keep pretty real yeah yeah so then um you
00:26:27
eventually make your way to shortland street where the catering's not as good
00:26:30
yeah but still better than two minute noodles yeah yeah still good um so you you were Dallas Adams uh ambo
00:26:37
driver so this is like 2013 to 2015. yep yep I feel like this was um there's been like drastic changes in
00:26:46
Free To Wear TV between like now and now and then yeah like 10 years I feel like
00:26:50
this was a time where it was still like a massively popular show and if you're
00:26:53
on that show you you know you're you're massively famous how did your life
00:26:56
change being on shortland Street uh yeah pretty big yeah yeah around Auckland or do you especially when you
00:27:04
got out of board Center Auckland more everywhere everywhere else yeah you know like yeah it was almost like the smaller
00:27:10
the town the bigger it was yeah it did change yeah uh completely and I don't know if I was fully ready
00:27:18
for for you know for that because it's like outside of New Zealand no one you know
00:27:22
no one knows knows it or knows who you are but like it's so intensely it's
00:27:27
almost um it's really a pop culture phenomenon in New Zealand you know 100 so I think
00:27:34
it's um I feel like listen so now like if you're on the show now like it's it's
00:27:39
so fragmented now in terms of what people are watching and how they're consuming uh different forms of media
00:27:43
but back then yeah you probably got the sort of tail end of yeah well seven o'clock was the prime time slot yeah
00:27:50
current affairs or an escape from reality with short on the streets yeah yeah another another hospital blowing up
00:27:59
well one experience money good yeah yeah look I mean I was 20 I was 23. you know
00:28:05
like I was I was 20. I mean I don't know how I probably shouldn't say how much I
00:28:10
was earning but it was that's 10 years ago you can say if you want well it was
00:28:13
like you know like 100 Grand at least it was six figures so yeah but like for 23
00:28:17
in 2015 that's that's good money for me you know I was like it's good money for
00:28:22
anyone not only that but I was just proud like I was just like I was just very proud of myself because I've I've
00:28:27
done what I wanted I'd done my goal you know I was like I want to be a working
00:28:32
actor and it was happening and I was very happy to be doing it and I just I was on set every day and I was
00:28:38
working a craft and yeah someone was you know like some of the story lines for us
00:28:42
to frustrated me a bit but you can't have I mean it is what it is every day you know I think you know so
00:28:47
but yeah it was great and I was and more than that like for the first time I think my dad realized that I could take
00:28:55
this seriously as a career and so that was a big moment for our relationship I think as he was he became proud and um
00:29:01
it just kind of set me up you know I said set me up and allowed me to not be struggling so they but it was
00:29:08
almost harder because then I went from there and then when I went back to LA to being a broke actor it was like
00:29:13
[ __ ] yeah I felt like I was regressing so it's it was almost bad to do it that
00:29:18
way like you you kind of want to just keep going up and keep making more and more money but to go from you know a
00:29:24
nice cushy lifestyle and then it was great man it was great I have I have nothing but four memories and and
00:29:31
um yeah I mean sure I could have done things differently I probably would have stayed on them but longer did you leave
00:29:37
on your own terms or were you yeah yeah yeah yeah you just thought the time was right after three years yeah it's it's
00:29:42
hard though isn't it right because it's like um it's probably like me with a
00:29:46
radio to a degree it's like um I was at the same station for 20 years and you realize you're almost in like a
00:29:53
golden cell in a way and I feel like I haven't had them on the podcast yet but
00:29:57
I'd love to get Michael Galvin on it oh yeah you should it must be the same sort
00:30:00
of situation it's like you know you start acting with this um dream to be like a Hollywood leading man or whatever
00:30:07
it happens to be and then you get this good money you get a taste of it and it's intoxicating so how did how did you
00:30:13
turn you back on it after three years so uh so they they tried to extend they wanted to extend my
00:30:22
contract um and I I believe if my memory is right it was like to five years and they wanted to do it by that and
00:30:30
then do subsequent years after that but I think they were angling like my character and Bella to be to get hitched
00:30:38
and to have quite a large storyline and quite and be quite a you know key component to the show
00:30:44
and um looking back I I probably regret not staying on and doing five years because I think one just just to do more
00:30:57
work and and two would have set me up a lot better financially and and just also
00:31:02
I was still I was still green I was 20 [ __ ] three so I think I wasn't a man
00:31:07
yet and even though I thought I was but um yeah like you like you like you you say
00:31:14
like you with with radio I just felt like I I always had these dreams of the kind
00:31:21
of work I wanted to do and that doesn't necessarily mean um I I just thought sometimes I was being
00:31:29
under underused and I felt like I had a lot more potential and a lot more skill set to be able to show dramatically and
00:31:36
I I just didn't feel like I was doing that I think um I just I wanted to to do more I just I
00:31:44
was just like man I'm getting I'm getting really itchy here like I I I either need more
00:31:50
something to sink my teeth in or or I need to just you know take the challenge yeah or so so
00:31:57
or I need to leave the show and and and risk and try and get what I'm looking
00:32:02
for somewhere else um and and I I've gone over to LA and had some successful meetings over there
00:32:07
and then just decided probably a bit too hot-headedly that I that I that I wanted to leave and go to
00:32:14
La um there'd be nothing worse than dying wondering hey you know you're dying
00:32:21
right exactly exactly and but but to be honest five years wouldn't have hurt me
00:32:24
at all and you know when I talked to my dad about at the time he you know he said look you need just do it just yeah
00:32:31
do five years you know what's what's the worst you know there's no harm in doing
00:32:35
that and so and he was right you know in retrospect he was definitely right but I
00:32:39
did what I did I was young I was a bit naive and a bit dumb and a bit arrogant whatever uh and and left and took that
00:32:46
risk and it took years for that risk to pay off but you know at the same time you go
00:32:51
through that that calculated risk that didn't work I learned and [ __ ] grew
00:32:56
so much you know like I I I really [ __ ] was in the thick of it for those years and I think that's where I did my
00:33:05
biggest learning and biggest growth as both a person and as an actor and went back to the drawing board you know in La
00:33:12
I went back to I went back to drama school I went back to England classes I really went back to craft work and all
00:33:17
that and really tried to work out but yeah at 25 you know 25 when I left still a boy you know and I I should have
00:33:28
really just incubated myself in that environment until I was becoming a man in my later 20s because even now like at
00:33:35
32 I feel like I'm just breaking through into manhood and and also being a leading man like now is my time where
00:33:44
I'm I'm where I'll now come into that leading man phase because as a male actor
00:33:50
in you know casting wise in your mid-20s is really awkward because you're too old
00:33:55
for the Disney stuff or the kid stuff you know you're too old to be played the
00:33:59
high school kid yeah but you're too young to be like you're not going to
00:34:02
take a leading man role at 25 like no one's going to take you seriously you're going to get your ass kicked like
00:34:09
you know so it's like you don't look like a man you don't have the life
00:34:13
experience of man so look yes I agree yes I regret it in some ways but in this at the same time I also
00:34:21
feel like man when I went to hell I've I came out a lot stronger and I forged myself a lot stronger through all
00:34:28
those trials and tribulations and and that has really ultimately defined who I'm carrying through as now you know and
00:34:35
so now I feel very ready for those leading man roles yeah yeah well let's chat about your dad for a bit
00:34:41
because you um you mentioned him so your parents were and probably rightfully so
00:34:45
I suppose apprehensive about this career choice yeah yeah I mean he's from Hawks
00:34:51
Bay I'm from Palmer's the north just up the road it's the same sort of thing you
00:34:55
want to be an actor what the [ __ ] are you on about no there's no career in
00:34:58
there I mean New Zealand let alone Hawke's Bay you know like New Zealand it's not really a career path but yeah
00:35:03
[ __ ] let alone small towns you know Hawke's Bay it's like it's not not even
00:35:06
a a thought you know so it was a bit wild but um so when you got the job on shortland street
00:35:12
they must be like oh thank God okay because that's like the Pinnacle of New Zealand yeah yeah yeah yeah I think I
00:35:17
think so and I think I I well my mum she was always supported she was happy that
00:35:22
I was just doing what I wanted to do and but I think Dad was more obviously practical and Pregnant for sure for sure
00:35:29
yeah was like I don't want my son being broke so you know I don't want him to
00:35:34
struggle in life you know so I think he was just coming he came from a place of love but it was pragmatic and I suppose
00:35:40
from your parents perspective um when you've got a son that's got a major role on shortland Street Suddenly
00:35:46
It's like tangible proof of what you're doing you know what I mean like their
00:35:49
friends will start commenting about it that brings an element of Pride and stuff I guess 100 yeah and then
00:35:55
um so your dad Graham so when did he pass away he passed away at the end of 2015 so right yeah yeah right at the end
00:36:02
of 15. [ __ ] so how do you how old are you at the time like so 25 right yes that was my the end of my first year in
00:36:08
La yeah yeah um it was so yeah what was his cause of death yeah so he he was having some heart
00:36:17
problems uh and he was very dogmatic so he never liked hospitals he never liked getting treatment apart from shortland
00:36:24
Street nice yeah I'm sure on the street sorry that was a nice moment I [ __ ] it
00:36:31
up well I'm sure he would have enjoyed it you know being treated by the nurses at
00:36:36
shortland Street as well but no no he was having some heart problems and he didn't want to he left it quite late and
00:36:42
kind of put it off and whatever and it got to a point where he had to go to hospital heart surgery which is a pretty
00:36:47
uh standard operation for heart problems um hated hospitals absolutely hated them
00:36:55
um but he had the surgery it was a success and then he was obviously in a juice coma and they the the doctor gave him
00:37:03
too much blood thinner and then that blood thinner caused a brain bleed and within and then straight away it was
00:37:09
just like 24 hours you know it was just like so once he got the brain bleeding he was basically a vegetable and they
00:37:17
called us and was just like look you know you've got we're going to keep them on life support
00:37:23
and until you can all say goodbye and then but there's no no fixing it unfortunately so it was very
00:37:32
sudden and it was just really tragically ironic you know because he he hated Hospital didn't want surgery survived
00:37:38
the surgery and got through and was came in on the other side and then they just
00:37:42
overdid it on the blood on the blood thinner yeah angry at the time yeah I was yeah yeah because is there anything
00:37:49
you can do about it or is it just like sorry you know they call you we got called into this weird kind of room and
00:37:56
then the head surgeon or whatever he is he he kind of says look on behalf of the
00:38:01
hospital sorry and it's like cool it's not really good oh yeah no it's it's not
00:38:05
but yeah it's but it's at the same time you've you know that's a hard one that's a hard one to
00:38:11
Wrangle because you know you know that the public health system is so [ __ ] overworked
00:38:16
but you also which makes me angry at that as well because I'm like man if they have [ __ ] enough rest you know
00:38:23
this is a human error you know so what do we do to stop this because this is obviously costing lives and it's like
00:38:29
we're not talking about a car here we're talking about a lot of Life yeah and
00:38:33
affecting people's entire [ __ ] lives and families so I was quite angry but at
00:38:40
this you know me being angry or at the doctor or at the hospital wasn't going
00:38:46
to bring them back so it doesn't matter if I swear at them or yeah okay I'm not going to hit them but
00:38:51
you know there's nothing that that's going to do anyway so I was it was it
00:38:54
was kind of like probably a massive moment of realizing that there are things out of my control
00:39:01
can you remember your last conversation with your dad I I guess you didn't know
00:39:05
I don't know like from sitting here like you hope it's going to be something like
00:39:09
poignant or profound but I suppose not knowing he's going to pass it was probably something mundane I'll never
00:39:14
forget that conversation really yeah I was I was I was driving I was working um as a fun a house for a nightclub in LA
00:39:27
and I was driving because I remember the exit and I remember talking them on the
00:39:30
on the freeway and stuff and and it was before he went in for the surgery and um
00:39:38
he was he was waiting and and I was really upset because I I I you know I was and I was getting worked up and I
00:39:45
was saying look like I I don't want I don't want you to die like you've got to
00:39:49
come out of this like I want to make sure that you know I can talk to you and I want to make sure that you know you're
00:39:54
there for my grant for my kids and you can be a a Granddad and well I've only
00:39:58
he's reassuring me you know it's going to be okay and it'll be fine like I'm fine it's
00:40:04
everything's going to be fine and then he's just as we're about to hang up he he
00:40:09
said um he said oh just just remember um always be a leader never be a follower and then for the first time since I was
00:40:21
a kid he said he said I love you and I'm proud of you and it was weird because it was like
00:40:30
first of all I hadn't heard those words come out of his mouth and since I was you know since I was
00:40:35
young and it's not that I didn't know he it's not that he didn't love me yeah he was
00:40:40
he was a very old school and it was just weird it was almost ominous that he said that because it was
00:40:48
almost like he knew because otherwise he wouldn't it felt like he wanted to to be at peace by saying that and making
00:40:56
sure that I knew that before he went because I feel like if he knew he was going to survive
00:41:01
he wouldn't have said that because he would have been confident in the fact that he'd be able to live to see another
00:41:06
day and and tell me that at another time but it was just when he said that I got a real
00:41:11
sinking feeling and I just yeah it was better just to hear those words and you know just
00:41:19
yeah it really obviously I was [ __ ] I was crying in the car and and um those those were literally the last
00:41:28
words he said to me and what a great last conversation though yeah at the benefit of hindsight
00:41:35
yeah so yeah left nothing out there so I mean I know actions speak louder than words but
00:41:42
words are also pretty special as well if you've got the actions and I backed up
00:41:45
with words so you got the words and you got the um you got the words that he was
00:41:50
you know okay with the job you were doing yeah yeah because I that year in La has been really [ __ ]
00:41:56
hard and I'd come close on a couple of things like literally down to the final
00:42:01
two on a couple of things and you know when you're looking at a contract for
00:42:06
a 30 grand 30 Uso episode you know yeah and this is back in 2015 and that was on the lower pay scale
00:42:14
and you know and I also every time I get through these final rounds obviously he's he's there he's he's saying yeah
00:42:19
you go get it you know so he was here in my back and then when it didn't fall
00:42:22
through he'd say just get back on the horse mate like it's all good like you
00:42:26
just go you got that close you'll get it again but so this happened a few times
00:42:30
and then when he went in for the surgery I ended up he was in a coma for a week and in that time I booked a commercial
00:42:37
which was my first La my first acting job in the states and so it was a big deal for me and it paid really well and
00:42:45
um and so I was stoked and I couldn't wait he was due to come out of his coma
00:42:49
the day I finished the commercial and I remember coming off set and being really
00:42:55
excited and I to tell him and tell them about the Sid and tell them about the you know everything because he didn't
00:43:00
know that I was going through tonight I got it so I was I couldn't wait for him
00:43:03
to wake up and he'd be like yeah [ __ ] booked my first job in L.A and then um
00:43:08
yeah I walked off soon I had all these missed calls from my sister and I thought oh [ __ ] it was weird and I was
00:43:15
and I was obviously on cloud nine and picked up the phone called her and she's
00:43:20
obviously screaming down the phone and saying that I need to come home and and dad was dead and and so I just [ __ ] I
00:43:27
remember being in a parking lot and just [ __ ] falling on my knees and just I yeah I've never weeped like that I was
00:43:35
it was it's a guttle [ __ ] sound you know like it just yeah it just releases you know and I just
00:43:43
your whole world just stripped from you and and so I [ __ ] it was it was the worst that next 24 hours because I just
00:43:50
got on the first flight back and man it obviously didn't sleep on the plane but you're just you're just numb
00:43:56
you know you're going through customs you're you're numb no one on the plane
00:43:59
knows what you're going through and obviously and you don't expect them to
00:44:02
but you're just numb you can't watch a movie because you you're just waiting to
00:44:07
be transported to yeah yeah oh man how old was he dead are you 61 right yeah man
00:44:18
yeah so still too young yeah incredible yeah I'm sorry that you had to go through that yeah thank you
00:44:26
yeah um that last conversation [ __ ] that's special very special yeah I'll never
00:44:31
forget I could I could still see and taste and hear everything in that that moment I yeah and there was um a quote I
00:44:38
read from you on an interview somewhere um talking about your dad um you said I feel like I became a man that
00:44:45
day I had to for my family and for Dad yeah yeah I'm it's incredible once
00:44:53
you don't realize how much um a father holds the family together until they're
00:45:02
gone and uh that um yeah the the the the just I didn't realize how quickly things
00:45:17
would unbalance without without that patriarchal figure you know and and trying to step into that but also not
00:45:26
trying to be my father was a weird thing you know like not trying to be my father
00:45:31
as the father of the family but but trying to for fill certain roles or things that he took care of and and
00:45:40
there was a hard like in terms of like looking after your mum or your siblings well he was just a source of strength I
00:45:46
think for everybody and and and and yeah looking after my mom and my sister and um
00:45:54
yeah just it just really made me realize how much he actually did without doing you know like it was kind of unspoken or
00:46:02
un seared and you just took it for granted until he was gone and it just felt like
00:46:07
the whole balance just went like that and that just you know the whole family Dynamic really changed it was a rough
00:46:14
period for my family for a few years I mean there's still some stuff that as I'm being mended now
00:46:23
but yeah it's been a it's been a hasn't been easy yeah so it's hard I like it yeah everyone wants
00:46:32
um life to be like like neat and simple and and perfect and it's just not and uh
00:46:37
you know sometimes bad things happen and you're you've been the master of that
00:46:41
yourself but then there's things like this that just happen to everyone and we're going to deal with at some point
00:46:45
like illness or death or whatever and it's [ __ ] it's hard life's complicated on top of normal life yeah
00:46:50
100 yeah um so you you let's um zoom in on the um the LA staff for a while so it's
00:46:58
something like 150 auditions uh over a couple of years yeah yeah it was so before I booked my first gig not the not
00:47:05
the commercial the the Dolly Parton film uh it was I count because I I I always wrote down what auditions I had had
00:47:14
and uh like a journal or a diary or a journal and and I had counted 152 since when I went to when I got booked it's a
00:47:25
lot of rejection a lot it's a lot of rejection and some of them were almost worse because you got so close
00:47:31
and then got rejected so you know you you go off that final final audition where it's you and the the like you know
00:47:39
the girl or the co-star and right before you head in because and then by that stage you're going to have
00:47:45
the you know cameras on you and everyone's in the room and all that kind of stuff and um before you go in you you
00:47:51
look at the contract you look at the money you sign it and then you walk in and do
00:47:56
the audition I was like that's just torture man this is this is this is life-changing money this is this is this
00:48:02
isn't like you know Assurance route was great but this is actually life-changing
00:48:07
money this this will change my life you know 10 episodes at x amount you know and it's like this will change
00:48:14
my life drastically I'll be able to buy you know properly in La I'll be able to
00:48:19
do this you know like you start daydreaming you gosh yeah that's what you do because
00:48:26
you're going yeah and and you're you're 10 minutes away from there that could
00:48:32
happen in the next 10 minutes so like to have that weight on you and to try not to let that
00:48:37
rattle you and then and then you find out that they wanted you know that you were perfect but they they wanted blue
00:48:44
eyes and you're like what about context I'll find a solution yeah so many times like that that came down
00:48:53
to little tiny things and then um yeah you're just you're just on the woman that's the problem with the career
00:49:01
is that you there's so much out of your control which has a control freak I find
00:49:06
really difficult yeah that can be I mean you do something like um something that
00:49:09
you're into like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and uh the more you do it you get better
00:49:13
yeah and uh the more yeah the harder you work the better you get the more success
00:49:17
you get but something like this it's like so many variables that are just completely out of your hands well that's
00:49:22
why I love Brazil in Jiu Jitsu because it's it's so black and white you can't
00:49:26
[ __ ] you can't you can't talk your way out of it you can't talk your way up
00:49:31
you know like it's just like it is the the better person will be yeah always
00:49:36
there's no doubts about you can't talk smack and you're like you're going to
00:49:39
get found out if you say that you're a black belt or you say that you've won
00:49:43
this and then that it's going to happen you're going to find out really quickly
00:49:47
whereas like an acting people you know they'll say whatever they want to say
00:49:50
because no one checks them on it you know and there's a lot of like eerie feariness and in that industry so that's
00:49:56
why I find my martial arts in general is very refreshing because like you can't
00:50:00
talk smack and you can't you can't lie you know so it's like that's that's
00:50:05
that's what I love about it but um yeah yeah it's it's just learning to to
00:50:12
relinquish that control you know yeah so so the dolly partner move that was like
00:50:17
a Christmas movie and you've played the uncle of young Dolly yes um I believe that went really well too
00:50:23
and they will look at doing a series afterwards yeah yeah so she so we sit around when dolly was like 10 yeah
00:50:29
um and I played her uncle so in her life her uncle sort of saw her talent and was like I'm
00:50:35
gonna I need to do something about that and that was what the whole film was about was him just kind of discovering
00:50:40
her and then her her parents my dad didn't want her to leave you know and go
00:50:44
off and be a an Entertainer and so her uncle had to try and convince her damn blah blah and then we that didn't really
00:50:50
get resolved by the end of the film and so the then they were gonna if it went well they were green they were green
00:50:57
lighting a series that would be Dolly and um Bill Uncle Bill on the road and so that was that was what I was really
00:51:04
looking forward to was this kind of Journey because that's when she went on like the Porter Wagner show and and and
00:51:10
started picking up and getting all these like radio shows and TV spots and all that and then it goes off and then she
00:51:15
just takes off so that show would have been really interesting and and and obviously again life-changing
00:51:22
because the movie was great but it was a one-off film and and so when they said look this gets x amount and ratings
00:51:30
um the series will go ahead and you're going to be a lead in the series to Dolly and it's like cool I'm going to be
00:51:36
a lead in a in a TV series you know that's that's literally life-changing you know
00:51:43
career changing life-changing like you know and this is NBC one of the biggest networks in America in the world
00:51:49
and so that again you're starting to go far out what am I going to buy you know
00:51:54
what am I gonna what am I you know what should I get yeah this and this but also
00:51:58
you're going what a gift as an actor like I can because TV series like that are just an absolute that's the dream
00:52:04
because you can just work out this character Arc over a 10 episode series or whatever and really play with that
00:52:10
character and and stretch those boundaries a bit but the ratings went off the charts like
00:52:17
it'd be a beat uh Empire and it beat all the all the shows that were just doing
00:52:22
really well at the time and so the ratings couldn't have been better you know I think that they had four million
00:52:27
views on one night and ended up having 12 million views all throughout the the the night said dinner or something and
00:52:33
so couldn't be better ratings-wise and then um so I remember the producer saying to
00:52:41
me this is going to go ahead you're you're it's going to get Greenland and
00:52:44
so I went I came back to New Zealand for summer holidays and I was like man I'm
00:52:48
gonna have the best summer and then when I go back get on that plane I'm going
00:52:52
back to him a [ __ ] awesome job before I get on the to the plane to go back I get a call from the producer and he's
00:53:00
like look I'm really sorry but um the the studio is the network has just decided it's not going ahead and I
00:53:08
was like what do you what do you mean like the what about the ranges I know but like uh
00:53:14
this is the thing you don't know why you know I mean I don't know my theory is that at
00:53:20
that time darker shows were all in the rain yeah it was like you know Game of Thrones it was it was
00:53:28
Empire it was all these really dark kind of like bitter kind of shows and I think at the
00:53:35
time people liked that for whatever reason and now we want lighter shows because we're in a dark period ourselves
00:53:40
so yeah that makes sense you know so I think at that point in 2016 2017 you know life was pretty good so I think
00:53:48
people enjoyed the darker stuff whereas now I think it would probably be a different story and probably be the
00:53:53
opposite and so Dolly Dolly's obviously a beautiful human being and her show was
00:53:57
wholesome and light and all that so I don't think the wholesome Vibe was the
00:54:02
thing but but it just blew my mind because the ratings were couldn't have been better so I I don't know but you
00:54:07
know you're literally someone wakes up and decide makes a decision that affects
00:54:11
thousands of people and you know so it's just it's just it's quite it's it's so
00:54:16
hard to grasp because I was like not only like my life definitely would have changed but what about the crew and all
00:54:22
that so you do go man there's so much there's so many moving parts to this
00:54:26
industry that you just it's not because I stuffed up you know because usually
00:54:30
like in life you know it does something doesn't go ahead because I made a mistake or I [ __ ] did this or I did
00:54:36
that but it had nothing to do with me which it's kind of good because but at
00:54:40
the same time you're like what can I do can I do something you know like hit me
00:54:44
yeah please please just green light the show you know because you were gonna drastically change my life yeah but yeah
00:54:51
there's a very selfish to think that at the same time yeah but it's got to be so
00:54:54
frustrating hey um it was and so I went back to L.A and was a broke actor well at least you were very experienced
00:55:02
for that role yeah I know how how broke did you get see you went over there with
00:55:06
um some shortland Street cash yeah were you quite good at saving and better yeah
00:55:11
so you went over there with a bit of cash in the bank were you did you managed to keep buying that or were you
00:55:15
working as a waiter or I was no I was I mean I worked at this club for a little bit I worked under the table as a
00:55:21
handyman I met a kiwi over there um who was who did up apartments and things oh yeah I I went on a deep dive
00:55:30
into your um yeah on your Instagram so I was going to bring this up because you've shared a lot on Instagram so
00:55:36
so you were flirting with a dude and it was really weird you caught him filming you as you were
00:55:42
sleeping one day yeah yeah right yeah and this leads us to the Kiwi Garden yeah so I basically picked my like we
00:55:49
had a bit of a fisty Cuffs in the apartment and then I was and then I packed my bags and lift so it was he
00:55:55
filming you sleep before yeah and you caught him filming you were sleeping or you saw a video of what I caught a chat
00:56:00
why what was this you sleep nude on top of the duvet what I mean a lot of Fringe people go there
00:56:16
you know so it's but I mean yeah yeah like that was then there was there was it for me and then so I
00:56:23
stormed out but I was like [ __ ] I have nowhere to live and then this guy was doing up the apartments nearby
00:56:28
and uh and he's like what's what's the matter why are you picking your bags oh
00:56:32
[ __ ] I'm I believe I kicked out uh this guy's filming me uh we had a bit of
00:56:37
a fisticuffs and he was like he's like oh [ __ ] it all good we'll sort you out
00:56:41
what are you doing now I was like well [ __ ] I've got acting class in bloody 30
00:56:44
minutes and he's like okay you just leave your bags here and brother I was like oh [ __ ] now I'm gonna get robbed
00:56:49
and so I went off to acting class and then I came back pretty miserable and and then by but by that I came back and
00:56:56
here there was this Empty Apartment that he was doing up and he had moved all my
00:57:01
stuff in and he had fully furnished it with stuff that you take from other apartments that he that he was doing up
00:57:06
so I had like Basics you know couch and he had taken a TV and he had wired the cable from the neighbors and so I could
00:57:12
cable TV and stuff and he gave me a beard and all that but he fully finished this he borrowed a fridge from himself
00:57:17
spear fridge from someone fully finished this apartment for me he goes live here
00:57:21
as long as you need to yeah and and I just don't even worry about like just pay us a little bit of rent but because
00:57:26
he was doing it up he didn't care so is your immediate reaction Swedish or is it
00:57:30
like okay what's uh what's the cost what's the price personally like Watts
00:57:35
not for that because he he you know that just got Instinct of it yeah my gut instinct was this guy is just surely
00:57:43
genuine like he is this is this is a very genuine guy and like I was just blown away by his generosity and he goes
00:57:49
look just just pay us a little bit of rent and you can do some work for me as well and I was like me yeah of course
00:57:55
was it was that the Kiwi going yeah yeah so he's from waipawa and he used to yeah
00:58:00
so crazy was he used to drink at my dad's Pub so I was just like yeah so it's quite a weird connection because I
00:58:05
I suppose when um yeah if it was an American dude you'd be like okay what yeah yeah what's going on here but if
00:58:10
it's another kiwi you immediately oh yeah I assume the best yeah not in a kiwi but from Waipio and we're talking
00:58:15
about assault of the Earth as it gets you know so he he so it was awesome and I was just like man this is like those
00:58:21
moments in life for you just like cool you know like it was such a cool outcome to a shitty situation but that that
00:58:29
stuff happened to me all the time until like what mate I got one time I was driving
00:58:37
back from work as a handyman I'm covered in [ __ ] Plaster I stop at the stop lights and this guy
00:58:43
rolls up next to me and he's in like a nice Audi SUV he looks like it like your classic like
00:58:50
accountant or something you know he's a nice shirt on you know whatever really
00:58:54
well groomed once down the window he's going to listen to me and I was like what the [ __ ] so I put down my window
00:58:58
he's like it's like hey are you a model and I was just like nah and just like he's just like oh do you
00:59:06
want to be and I was just like I don't know man why it was just like he's like pull over the after the lights
00:59:13
and I was just like oh okay oh so I can pull over get out of the car and I kind of meet
00:59:20
him halfway between the cars like what's up what's up how can I help you he's
00:59:24
like are you a model and I was like no I'm not he's just like well I can do you
00:59:29
want to be one I can help you and I was like what do you mean you can help me what are you are you an agent or
00:59:34
something are you a scouter or something it's just like no no but you know I
00:59:37
could I could get you some modeling work and I was like okay like what like friends or what are
00:59:44
we talking here and he's like oh it would be private and I was just like okay crazy what do you
00:59:50
mean private and he's like he's like look he's like I'm not I'm not gonna waste
00:59:58
he's sitting to their feet you know I'm not going to beat around the bush he's
01:00:01
like he had a wedding ring on by the way and and he's like and he told me he had
01:00:07
kids as well and I was just like anyway after the small talk he's like would you be interested in in dancing
01:00:13
for me I was like sorry he's like would you be uh interested in dancing for me like once a week I was
01:00:21
like what do you mean [ __ ] dancing for you he's like like privately uh naked and I was like pardon he's like
01:00:29
I'll give you his first offer was 1500 bucks to darts he's like but I was like I was
01:00:37
like no he's like oh okay but you didn't even hear the text dude [ __ ] no yeah he's
01:00:43
like he's like he's like what about two grand I was like no he's like but there'll be there'll be no
01:00:48
touching and I was like I was like I don't give a [ __ ] mate like what are you
01:00:52
so you're gonna watch me strip and he's like yeah I was like and and what
01:00:57
happens in this [ __ ] session he's like well I won't be allowed to touch
01:01:00
you and I was like but what you can [ __ ] jerk off he's like well yeah I will jack off and I was like I was like
01:01:06
excuse me he's like yeah but but it won't touch you and I was like I was
01:01:10
like mate you're not [ __ ] selling this thing and then he's like he's like
01:01:15
what about three grand and he went up to three and a half Grand and three and a half million years
01:01:20
since history and then I moved into it [Laughter] I'm sorry mate but no amount of [ __ ]
01:01:28
money I'll [ __ ] do that for I'm sorry like I can't I can't [ __ ] do it and
01:01:32
he's like okay well here's my number in case you change your mind gives me his
01:01:36
number on the on the [ __ ] piece of paper and then he [ __ ] he tells me he's
01:01:41
like what about um would you sell me your underwear you said used to this no that's right this
01:01:48
is the this is this is a regret because because he goes I was like my undies and
01:01:54
he's like he's like yeah I'll give you 150 per pair and I was and I was like I
01:01:58
was like what mate you don't want my undies I [ __ ] I was like I was like oh man I work as a handyman during the
01:02:05
day I sweat all day and then I go to Jujitsu like these are not undies that you want mate these are they'll [ __ ]
01:02:11
stink and he's he's like yeah he's like he's like the dirtier the better and I
01:02:18
was just like you are [ __ ] cooked mate and he's just he's full Immaculate
01:02:23
[ __ ] accountant professional and I was just like blowing my mind reading wedding ring I was just like what is the
01:02:30
what's nothing's making sense right now so anyway and but I regret that because
01:02:35
what I should have done was say yes gone to the op shop got some [ __ ] undies and then sold it for 150 bucks but I
01:02:43
didn't I live in Lynn was he not was it they're not like one Slither of you okay so you you know you're broke
01:02:51
you're struggling in La you're not sure where the next paycheck's coming from
01:02:54
when it gets up to three grand not even a tiny putt that's like oh I could probably what's the worst that could
01:03:00
happen you know you you think okay if he tries anything I could defend myself again no no because the image
01:03:07
that would haunt me for the rest of my days it doesn't matter how much money
01:03:10
like the you know like the image the image of him blowing his loads while I'm
01:03:19
stripping on a Friday night and in his bedroom or whatever that that would haunt me for the rest of my days and you
01:03:26
know and all like [ __ ] if you want to do it all good all the power to you I know
01:03:30
whatever but for me I was like there's no way that in the future when I have a
01:03:34
son and he's asking and I'm trying to teach him to be a man in the world that
01:03:39
I can look him in their eyes and like give them some some advice and and say that with a with you know Integrity when
01:03:47
I've [ __ ] done that for three grand you know there's no way I can raise a
01:03:50
son and be like hey man to be you know to look this is how you walk as a man in this world and then [ __ ] have this
01:03:57
memory of of some guy blown his load you know and so like for me it was a no-brainer just like no yeah this is
01:04:03
this is a short term it'll be a short-term gratification or effects you know of the three grand awesome [ __ ]
01:04:09
there's my there's there's my rent for the month but like in the long term I
01:04:14
think the long-term effects or or or the trade-off yeah you know it wasn't worth
01:04:20
it you know and yeah no I I was like yeah and look maybe I was wrong maybe [ __ ] my Integrity wasn't
01:04:27
worth it I don't know but but for me personally in that moment and still to this day I feel like I made the right
01:04:33
decision where do you think that comes from the um current you looking out for future you because I'm thinking first of
01:04:40
all full disclosure here like I've never been handsome enough for someone to pull
01:04:43
me over and offer me that sort of money so they can so I could dance for them it's never happened would you do it well
01:04:50
how old were you at the time 27. I would like to look you in the eye and say fact no but if I'd been in La
01:04:58
for a year and I was struggling and I was broke maybe if the offered and I don't know and I'm I'm full of
01:05:05
admiration for you for for having this Line in the Sand [ __ ] no never attitude
01:05:10
but I don't know that I I'd like to say I would but at the same age I don't know
01:05:13
if I would have yeah I don't know maybe look I don't know who's right or wrong
01:05:17
that's the thing you are like on on every on every level like yeah I don't know turning it down
01:05:23
it was um moralistically everything was the right thing to do and I'd like to
01:05:28
think I'd demonstrate that same character but I've never had [ __ ] Ben Affleck good looks you know thank you
01:05:35
but yeah no yeah I don't know just that's just how it was and I I'm a firm
01:05:41
believer that you know how you do anything is how you do everything you know so I feel like that's a slippery
01:05:47
slope because then you're going oh [ __ ] what else could I do for a bit of [ __ ] cash you know maybe you know so
01:05:52
I yeah that's the thing once you've once you've crossed that line once you've
01:05:55
opened that door yeah yeah I'd agree yeah yeah and that you know it's full of
01:06:00
that that town is full of people who are leveraging themselves to to get a hit on
01:06:05
whatever and you know all the power to them [ __ ] maybe they're working and I'm
01:06:09
not so I don't know it's it's maybe that maybe I didn't make the mistake but uh
01:06:14
I'd like to think that you can do it the right way and with your morals intact
01:06:18
and I'm a firm believer that I can and I am you know and I will yeah you see that on actually both those
01:06:25
stories you share them on um Instagram I think it was like January or February 2019. there was um like a bunch of like
01:06:30
really nice black and white photos of you in the water and then all these um incredibly like vulnerable and personal
01:06:36
posts that you shared why was that was it like a theme month or anything was it a phase you were going to
01:06:42
uh my sister's shot though she's she's a she's a beautiful beautiful photographer
01:06:46
and she's very talented and uh she was interested in doing something like that
01:06:51
and I think at that time 2019 just come back from LA and so I was in a very reflective mood and I was in a very
01:06:59
not healing but I was trying to work out or navigate my way back from LA and so I went back to
01:07:08
Hawke's Bay and for a year and just tried to re-ground myself and and try and
01:07:14
settle myself because I felt really all scattered and stuff and I think I said to her I said look I'd be
01:07:20
interested in kind of doing these shots and pairing them with honest stories because I I felt like one
01:07:29
Instagram is never on honest you know like a lot of business no it's completely um curated yeah yeah so it's
01:07:35
only the side and I felt like it was only a it's only ever the side that you
01:07:39
want people to see and especially in my industry it's always the good and the
01:07:44
it's always the the positives and the good stories and all that and I felt like maybe I could be a bit honest about
01:07:50
because everyone thinks you know La it's all it's all good but like I was like
01:07:55
there's the stories on the side of LA or actors going to La That You Don't See
01:07:59
and that a lot of people don't want to talk about and a lot of uh because it's
01:08:03
hard you know because it's a it [ __ ] beats you down and a lot of people don't
01:08:07
want to talk about that side of it but I just felt like maybe it was a bit therapeutic for me to
01:08:12
to express the truth of of what I what I what what I went through there and that's a great series of posts yeah I've
01:08:20
always wondered whether it was a bit too whether I should delete them or whether
01:08:22
you know whether I shouldn't have been that honest and whether there's you know
01:08:26
it's better to be a bit keep things to yourself a bit more but um I don't I never wanted to
01:08:35
sugarcoat LA or to be like you know because it's it's it was it was a rough
01:08:40
time and I had a rough time and I just wanted to be honest about it you know it's just like because that is a reality
01:08:47
for um you know there was tough stories out there you know but yeah I've got another one here this is
01:08:54
from February the February 2019 same sequence of photos uh one of my good friends has just had just committed
01:09:00
suicide I was off to settle a two-year legal battle my birthday was a week away and then my girlfriend left me out of
01:09:06
the blue some weasel club owner offered her a trip to Greece and whined and dined here I don't hold a grudge and a
01:09:12
world of endless choices and upgrades I hope she picked the right one my only regret is letting go of the ones who had
01:09:17
treated me better first of all sorry about you sorry about your mate there was a tough time there was a
01:09:24
really that man that was well first I lost my dad then my my granny who I was very close to my granny and I were very
01:09:32
close then my by Papa so my granddad then um committed suicide so he died and then
01:09:43
um pip my a friend of mine who was also my girlfriend at one point she committed
01:09:49
suicide and it was just like by that point I just lost so many people I was just like in a
01:09:57
short amount of time this was all within probably nine months yeah I was I was just
01:10:04
numb like when when I got told I can't I think pick was the last one I just I I remember just feeling numb and I
01:10:12
almost like didn't get upset straight away because I was just like I I didn't know my I didn't know how to
01:10:21
take it anymore you know by that point I was just like I don't even know how to
01:10:24
take this news and so it wasn't until I think a day later that I just broke down and started crying because it
01:10:32
took that long for my body to process it all but then there was that and then I forgot about that and then the
01:10:40
girlfriend left me and and you know and I was so vulnerable that point you know insecure and
01:10:46
because obviously I was I was struggling in LA and trying to make and I wasn't you know at a point where I
01:10:55
was I was working as a handyman stuff but I was feeling always feeling very insecure and
01:11:01
then that happened and she left me for a guy with money so that [ __ ] me up and
01:11:05
I was just like [ __ ] you know you know this is this is this is this is it's a
01:11:11
lot it doesn't really get worse I was like can it get worse I don't [ __ ]
01:11:14
know anymore like you know I thought I thought I thought my dad dying was the worst it would get but
01:11:19
no so keep rolling the punches and I think at that point I just went [ __ ] it what else have give me what else have
01:11:26
you got for me [ __ ] you know like it was it was just the worst [ __ ] role of of of punches to be honest and
01:11:36
then and just to have that person you know your girlfriend or your partner to to
01:11:42
Blindside you like that how long were you together yeah right but to like you know at that moment for her to leave
01:11:50
at that moment like she because she knew about my friends you know my friend committed suicide and the other people
01:11:56
in my life that had died and all that so she was there for me and all that and you know within
01:12:02
she it was the week of the last person committing suicide that she left me it was in that week
01:12:09
and I was just like how what are you doing not only that I'm not only that but the day before she
01:12:16
admitted to it that she was off with the stew that she'd run off um she she called me and she'd been with
01:12:24
her family and her nieces and nephews and stuff and she talked about she was like oh
01:12:28
she was talking about how much she wanted kids with me and she what was I wanted to move back to New Zealand with
01:12:33
me and start a family and stuff and I was like amazing and then two days later boom
01:12:39
done just you know and I was just like [ __ ] this crazy how's your mental health
01:12:45
been over the years you seemed like a really resilient guy uh I don't know if
01:12:48
that's something that you've always had or that you've had to develop over the
01:12:52
years with this industry that you've chosen but you you mental health mostly
01:12:56
mean good I don't think so no um you're resilient is key and and Jiu Jitsu has helped me a lot
01:13:06
look my mum wanted me to go to therapy and and you know she she thought I should
01:13:13
after my dad died and after all this stuff I probably should have um but I didn't want to because
01:13:19
and this is probably quite a controversial thing to talk and you know I'd love to
01:13:23
talk to more men about mental health because I think it's important it's
01:13:26
really hard as a kiwi male to talk about it you know you know like yeah it is I feel I feel like we're getting better
01:13:32
but um I'm older than you I'm 50 now and I yeah I was from a generation where you
01:13:36
didn't show any sort of vulnerability actually you're probably the same Hawke's Bay in the 90s you know showing
01:13:42
any sort of weakness because it could be weaponized against you or but the problem was is that I felt like
01:13:48
therapy doesn't help like again probably going to divide a few people on this but I don't think therapy
01:13:54
for men helps because for me I don't think men seek validation for their feelings I don't want someone to
01:14:01
validate my feelings and go oh so you did because they don't have the solution
01:14:04
and that's my problem with that was my problem with therapy is that they're not
01:14:09
going to give me a Magic Bullet or or a solution yes it's nice to talk about my
01:14:13
feelings but to be honest I'd rather sit down with a very good friend of mine you
01:14:17
know a guy mate and talk to him I would rather vet as opposed to paying someone 300 an hour for them to tell me yeah
01:14:24
you're right although they do as someone that has been there and does swear by it
01:14:27
they give you a different way of flat framing things and looking things I'll
01:14:30
give you another example I could I could get up on stage next to you and someone
01:14:34
hand me a script and I'll I'll read it and pretend to be someone else and then
01:14:38
you get up and you've had years of training years of experience years of Hard Knocks you know what to do you're
01:14:43
trained and you're qualified so sitting down and talking with a good friend I
01:14:47
agree that's [ __ ] great but they don't know the necessarily the right thing to say or they can't unless you've
01:14:53
got a really really wise friend but they probably can't but therapists are good
01:14:57
at saying you know okay what about this and then it gives you a different way of
01:15:00
looking at it but I understand the cost is very prohibitive for a lot of people if you're down to your last 300 you know
01:15:05
well yeah yeah and look the cost isn't an issue but it's it's more just I felt
01:15:10
like if they're not going to give me a solution then I don't feel like I just
01:15:14
feel like one it's time and time is valuable and two it's it's money and
01:15:17
three it's it's really just going to give me another way to look at it rather
01:15:22
than the problem solve but you're probably right and look I I I I I I should probably give it a go but I I
01:15:28
always felt like Jiu Jitsu was my therapy yeah because which probably isn't right here as well
01:15:33
but and I'm not saying I'm [ __ ] right either no no no no honestly it's um incredibly safe space
01:15:40
here no there's no there's no right or wrong but you've got to like you you
01:15:44
gotta fend for yourself when it comes to your mental health and you've got to
01:15:47
work out what tools you need in your toolbox if it's going on going in the sauna or going in a nice bath great but
01:15:51
you've got to work out what it is because no one else can do that for you maybe it doesn't involve therapy and if
01:15:56
it doesn't then that's that's fine too yeah look and none of those so like
01:15:59
Jujitsu doesn't solve it either Jiu Jitsu doesn't magically give me a solution but what it does do is clears
01:16:05
my head gives me an outlet it it strips back to a primal level of survival which
01:16:12
which is probably good in those times like it stops the complications of over analyzing overthinking it takes it right
01:16:19
back to like you know fight or flight and uh and also you know I I I obviously do saunas and Ice bars as well and all
01:16:29
that stuff helps and and I've found through listening to guys like Goggins and and Jocko willink like that has
01:16:36
helped me as well hearing those kind of guys talk about because I still believe they're
01:16:42
they they're good at dealing I mean you know they're seals and so they've got
01:16:47
they've got a lot of trauma and stuff as well but the way they deal with it is a
01:16:51
lot different than to to just like an outpouring of emotion it's more of a practical approach of like and I and I I
01:16:58
kind of lean towards that a little bit more um but that's that's just me I may be
01:17:02
wrong I'm open to new things but no I I love I love both those guys as well um yeah Goggins can be a little bit
01:17:10
hardcore like um but um I think I think uh yeah I think we we need that a bit more you know like I
01:17:19
think um well you got yeah the thing I like about them is um the level of personal accountability like you've got
01:17:24
to look after yourself no one's coming to save you you've got to save yourself
01:17:28
um have you always been quite resilient or yes I think since I got you know going full circle back to
01:17:34
Diabetes Type 1 diabetes I think that taught me to be resilient because that was really my first major major knock
01:17:41
you know the first thing that I went oh [ __ ] I have to deal with this thing that
01:17:45
I wasn't expecting to deal with it's not something I can just push away it's not something I can shelve like I
01:17:51
have to literally deal with this on a day-to-day basis so how am I going to do this without playing a victim and I
01:17:56
never wanted to be a victim and be like oh [ __ ] diabetes ruined my life uh just trying to be like no [ __ ] how do
01:18:02
I deal with this and so I think from that age from 15 going oh [ __ ] well this is how I can attack every
01:18:09
problem I guess but um I don't know maybe yeah [ __ ] I think my dad was very resilient too so maybe that
01:18:16
just getting those jeans maybe or something like that but um again I don't I don't think I'd be in
01:18:23
this industry if if I wasn't resilient because oh you have to be don't you yeah
01:18:27
you have to be so I think there's just a mix of everything that went on with my
01:18:31
life that was just allowed me to be resilient but [ __ ] me don't don't get me
01:18:35
wrong like I don't I I definitely have horrible days and um yeah very some Doc days and I'll
01:18:44
bring down some dark holes and stuff and if I went to a therapist I'm pretty sure
01:18:48
they'd say that I've got depression but really yeah I reckon yeah like um depression is and like a chemical
01:18:55
balance or yeah I think so yeah really yeah um so I think I have um like circumstantial depression so major that
01:19:05
we made your life upheavals yeah like um I've been through some fertility staff
01:19:08
and a marriage breakup and I think that causes it but I think for the most part I'm I'm pretty good I don't know how are
01:19:14
you feeling today I wasn't feeling sharp yesterday yeah yeah yeah just one of those days yeah
01:19:20
it's just it's just yeah sometimes those are just the clouds seem a bit darker
01:19:24
and so trying to try and flip that and just be like why you know what are you let's look at some positives here let's
01:19:30
look at the good things and um but um so just trying to be aware of myself and just kind of not
01:19:39
catch myself out but just kind of take a sit back and go okay what are you feeling right now what are you
01:19:44
let's let's check in there like why are you why are you getting so agitated in
01:19:48
this moment why are you taking it out on this person so yeah is that how your depression
01:19:55
looks so you just get frustrated yeah yeah yeah yeah well and and just withdraw you know just withdraw from
01:20:00
from people and things and um so I I saw you know Step One is awareness right so just being aware of
01:20:10
my habits and going oh [ __ ] okay what are you why are you doing that today you
01:20:14
know so because there was nothing to be upset about yesterday you know there's
01:20:19
no major thing went wrong you know whatever you know so and that's why I like those guys like Jocko because Jocko
01:20:25
helps me see that you know like his whole ethos and it's in bad situations is to go good you know
01:20:31
the car broke down good it does this blah blah you know so I was like so taking ownership you know so yeah and
01:20:37
that helps me that definitely has helped me so um yeah I've found that very useful yeah
01:20:44
um that's good yeah everyone's going through Shadow you just never know yeah yeah and that's
01:20:50
part of growing up I usually you kind of realize that you know and no one again no one no one gets out of it scot-free
01:20:56
everyone's going to deal through some some stuff and I think the more of a rich and fulfilling life you're living
01:21:01
the more like mistakes you're gonna make the more you're gonna love people and
01:21:05
then when you lose them it's gonna [ __ ] hurt yeah um but the only way to circum devicate
01:21:10
that is to lock yourself up not have any meaningful relationships don't take any
01:21:13
risks in your life and uh that's not even living your life but the flip side
01:21:17
of that is those you know yes things can go wrong things do go wrong but like when it goes right it's it's [ __ ]
01:21:23
worth it all you know relationships is like man if if you if if you I could give up after the amount of
01:21:33
failed relationships or whatever but at the same time when it works man that's
01:21:36
the most beautiful thing ever you know when someone loves you and you love them and there's [ __ ] no no other feeling
01:21:42
like that you know yeah it's the same with career you know audition [ __ ] sucks getting getting the call to say
01:21:48
that you didn't get it or someone else got it or this person the same but yeah
01:21:53
[ __ ] sucks ass but when you get that call to say that you've got it it's
01:21:57
worth all those rejections it's worth it all yeah yeah Goggins talks about callousing your mind you're definitely
01:22:03
doing that with the auditions yeah yeah 100 yeah are you seeing anyone at the moment are you in love at the moment no
01:22:09
no I'm single yeah and and the happily single not it's not actively looking or
01:22:14
uh I would say I'm definitely open I'm definitely I'm definitely ready for that stage of
01:22:21
my life I'm definitely really I really look forward to having another life partner and
01:22:28
and having a family with them and and doing all that like it's something I really look forward to and I hope that
01:22:35
comes along soon and yeah yeah and what's next on the the acting front so just doing
01:22:41
um waiting for this film to come out which is in two weeks and just doing the promo work for that and and just
01:22:47
ensuring that um just waiting for that and hopefully that does well and that gets into some other film festivals
01:22:54
around the world and then from there hopefully a bit of exposure and maybe that will you know
01:23:00
that will spruce up some interest in things and oh that's at home kills home
01:23:05
kills yeah it looks really good I've seen the trailer online yeah so what's
01:23:08
the synopsis uh so the synopsis so it's it's uh like a butchery's struggling butcher there's
01:23:17
two two brothers who take over their their dead father's home kills business
01:23:22
uh they're strapped for cash the business is failing and so they find themselves unwillingly
01:23:29
well they find themselves accidentally getting into a body disposal business so they start getting rid of bodies and
01:23:37
putting them through the meat grinder and turning them into dog rolls and and then from there the two brothers are
01:23:42
very different so you've got Mark and Tom marks all for this new Venture in fact
01:23:47
he wants to get rid of people and now start killing people and disposing the bodies and Tom who I play is he doesn't
01:23:55
want any part of it but also it's bringing him money and helping them get the business back on track and entwined
01:24:00
and all that there's you know there's a local gang and there's like a bit of a
01:24:05
mess thing going on so it's it's it's a really kind of it's dark but it's it's funny it's funny
01:24:15
in Parts it's not it's not slapstick funny it's it's like it's not a bleak
01:24:18
comedy yeah more like more like Coen Brothers kind of Comedy you know so um it's there's funny moments but it's
01:24:25
not trying to be funny yeah it's funny because the circumstances it's small
01:24:30
town New Zealand so a lot of relatable characters and a lot of uh a lot of relatable issues and a lot of relatable
01:24:36
kind of current events um looking at that small town and just how dark and deep those small towns can
01:24:43
kind of go and they really can especially with the myth angle it's huge in the smooth towns
01:24:49
yeah I just feel like the smaller the town the deeper the secrets and so there's something in there yeah
01:24:56
yeah yeah so it's it's a very interesting look at that small town New Zealand uh life and the cinematography
01:25:02
is obviously beautiful and cinematographer on that was amazing and the shots alone are [ __ ] amazing it
01:25:09
was real cheap right like made for a quarter of a million which sounds like an alarming amount of money but
01:25:17
super low vote you know that's not much money at all what what they did for that
01:25:21
money incredible you know like that's that Curie Ingenuity coming out though you know that that so calling in
01:25:29
favors from mates and all infos and that was one of the good things about doing it and we shot it all around matamata
01:25:36
waikato and that was one of the good things about doing around there because unlike
01:25:41
Auckland where it's a bit of a film scene you'd go to the we'd need a shoot at a
01:25:45
pub and the pub would just be like you all we want is a sign poster and and you can use exactly you know
01:25:51
things like that or or extras you know everyone would do things for a box of beers or this or that so you were able
01:25:57
to do a lot more and stretch that budget out and and no one was making big money
01:26:01
like it was you know it's not like one person was making a whole lot of money
01:26:04
it was it was everyone was really everyone really did above and beyond like work to to make this happen and and
01:26:12
that's why it felt so magical was like everyone believed in the story everyone
01:26:16
believed in the project and so you had all these people that would usually be getting paid a lot more doing a lot more
01:26:23
for for the lesson and they were very happy to do it because we all there was a real magic feeling and uh while we
01:26:30
were shooting and and and I felt it and everyone else had that same feeling and it was it was just like oh we've got
01:26:36
something really that's a rush special here so it's got like a film festival
01:26:40
release uh is it gonna have like a like a broader release after that what happens I believe the way it works is so
01:26:46
we'll have the New Zealand International Film Festival then they'll do uh submit it to other
01:26:51
film festivals you have like Toronto and there's like you know South by Southwest
01:26:55
all the big ones Cairns and all that you submit them to those and then within this is how I think it work my
01:27:02
understanding of it so I could be wrong but from there a distributor will see it
01:27:06
well you know you'll try and Shop it to distributors and they're like you know
01:27:10
the big studios and stuff and they will purchase it from those film festivals and go yep we're going to buy it so like
01:27:16
uh so so they'll they'll take the rights and then they'll do a cinematic
01:27:23
distribution so we'll do it we'll do like Auckland Wellington Hamilton kind
01:27:28
of it'll do like all the whoever's involved in the International Film Festival and then as well as the film
01:27:33
festivals overseas and then Distributors will be at those film festivals and go oh [ __ ] we like yeah we'll [ __ ] we'll
01:27:40
pay for this for the right to this and then from there that's when it explodes
01:27:43
because then you know who knows whether it's a streamer that picks it up and
01:27:47
goes yeah we'll give you we'll take it or maybe a cinematic release and they go
01:27:51
yeah we'll pump it out to this many theaters throughout the world and blah blah so that's where that's what we're
01:27:56
trying to do is generate because if it does well like if you know if sales out and does well the festival gets a bit of
01:28:02
heat then people then that will prick the ears of the Distributors up and they'll be like oh [ __ ] let's look at
01:28:07
this oh [ __ ] it's pretty cool let's do that I mean that's happened time and
01:28:11
time we get tight and stuff yeah so it's like yeah for sure so it's it's that's
01:28:15
what's exciting is like I thought it really does have potential like I wouldn't have done it if if I didn't
01:28:20
believe in it or didn't believe it had potential so I'm I haven't seen it I'm super
01:28:26
excited to see it um the shots alone beautiful um just the the mood and the the world
01:28:34
of small town New Zealand something I've always thought was not done enough um and just cool you know just very very
01:28:41
cool dark but funny you know good moments but the the people working on it were phenomenal the actors
01:28:49
um if I'm really poor yeah pulled their hearts out into a day so it's called
01:28:53
home kills what's your character's name Tom Tom definitely sounds like the sort
01:28:58
of guy that would um let someone jack off in front of him for money no he's definitely not he is a man of principle
01:29:04
of moral he is so straight yeah he's killing people in the backyard well that's where yeah so that's yeah that's
01:29:12
that's the whole Twist of the movie is Tom starts yeah so he's struggling I'm
01:29:17
struggling with his moral compass just like you know which I wasn't doing but
01:29:21
you know but but uh yeah Tom struggles with his moral compass and and he's trying to feed he's got a newborn on the
01:29:29
way and he's got a his partner that he's trying to take care of he's got this
01:29:33
psycho brother who's just an absolute Wild Card who's just off the rails and
01:29:39
just going off and doing [ __ ] and getting them in trouble and you know he's doing [ __ ] with the gang so piss
01:29:45
them off and so he's got to look after that and and so and that's the struggle
01:29:50
and and that's why I love the character was that he kind of represents that kiwi
01:29:55
every man of what we were just talking about with mental health you know this guy who's
01:29:59
who would never talk to anyone about his health and just suppresses everything and that's you know part of the film
01:30:05
where it goes is you know you can only bubble under the surface so long before it [ __ ] explodes right yeah 100 and
01:30:12
that's that's Tom he's trying to keep his partner you know happy and he's
01:30:16
trying to provide for her he's trying to provide for his newborn he's trying to
01:30:19
keep this crazy brother Under Wraps he's he's got the failing business so like
01:30:24
but he's always calm and Collective because he is that kiwi guy who's just
01:30:28
good Under Pressure yeah but you know it's that pressure that builds that's
01:30:33
that's what's interesting he's like a you know that's a bit of a volcano there you know what
01:30:38
do you reckon your dad would make of all this the movie that you're in now yeah
01:30:42
yeah yeah yeah I think you'd love it what would he make of this chat we've
01:30:45
had today with you being um so open and vulnerable about your mental health and your feelings
01:30:51
I I don't know you did from a barrister he'd watch it he would he would 100 he'd
01:30:58
probably call me up and and just be like yeah it was a good interview and uh yeah
01:31:03
it was good that was good yeah that would be it would be you know but that's
01:31:06
enough uh yeah so he wouldn't dive into it or what elaborate maybe maybe how
01:31:11
stuff would go what's something going on is it yeah so maybe a bit of that but it would mainly
01:31:22
just be like yeah it's good it's good it's good yeah yeah I don't know I I
01:31:25
wonder if um like that um that last conversation you had with him obviously it came from a place from
01:31:32
his perspective of I don't know fear or trepidation or nerves or whatever um but maybe it would have like set the
01:31:39
the platform for him so that he could be more open with um his feelings about you
01:31:44
because I feel like yeah his generation yeah they were never allowed to vocalize
01:31:48
those things yeah yeah and he came from his father was super staunch old school you know he was a captain of the Navy
01:31:57
and very [ __ ] hard on him yeah yeah so it was it was very ingrained in him I think so I think it's just kind of
01:32:06
different Generations you know different different uh views on what a man should be and all
01:32:14
that yeah and you can't you can't have a chip on your shoulder about it because
01:32:17
everyone's just doing the best they can with the information resources they have
01:32:21
just like in 50 years time we'll probably look a bit you know people look back at the way we act and be like man
01:32:26
those guys that's not how a man is yes I don't know yeah it's always going
01:32:31
to evolve that's a part of life and human you know human nature is just to keep evolving and learning and that
01:32:39
that's why I don't get too worried about it because I just think you know I'm
01:32:41
yeah I [ __ ] up and I make I've definitely made mistakes uh but as long as I'm learning from them
01:32:46
and being aware of those mistakes uh that that's growth you know 100 Ian you've got to keep making the mistakes
01:32:52
yeah you have to you have to and you said something before like about um you know you thought when you left short
01:32:57
on stream with L.A you thought you were a man and you look back now and you weren't
01:33:01
um as someone that's 50 sitting in front of you I can tell you like when when you
01:33:04
get to 50 you'll look back on this now and think I was a man then but I and I
01:33:08
think that's the exciting thing you never reach that point where it's like
01:33:10
I'm done yeah I know everything yeah yeah and I think that's the exciting
01:33:16
thing about life yeah yeah it's beautiful and I think um well yeah I'm looking forward to that
01:33:21
you know I'm looking forward to reflecting on those uh moments and reflecting on
01:33:27
how I am now and all that but like as long as I'm happy in the prison and being present
01:33:32
that's important you know as long as I'm not trying to be something I'm not or
01:33:35
I'm trying to unless it's for a role in which case yeah um but you know as long as I'm being
01:33:44
true to myself in the present [ __ ] you or what more can you ask for yeah are you a good dude I think your dad would
01:33:50
be immensely proud no I think so yeah yeah um thanks so much cam for coming over
01:33:55
today and uh good luck for what the future brings hopefully it's [ __ ] great things you deserve it man thank
01:33:59
you yeah yeah thank you I appreciate that not a not an industry for the faint no it's not for the crazy
01:34:10
um but you're aware of it and um I appreciate the insights today you're a
01:34:14
good man cool thank you Tom this is [Music] [Music]