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[Music] toer welcome to my podcast thank you for having me Dom is fantastic space thank
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you so much I really appreciate you being here I I've just been out on a on a run and I was listening to some other
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podcast that you've been on and I was um thinking about our relationship because
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i' I suppose I'd call you a friend absolutely but we're not friend friends
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like you know what I mean no I mean we don't like hang out every Friday night
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but I absolutely I've always held you and and really high esteem and and had a
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great affection for you and JJ um and and would absolutely consider you both friends yeah I like you're one of these
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people like if I walk into a room and it's some function and I don't want to
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be there and I've got anxiety and I see you there immediately I feel a little
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bit more comfortable it's like there's someone here that I can gravitate
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towards and have a I know I'm going have a great conversation with totally totally I remember when I first met you
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and J do you remember the first time we met what was that it was um wasn't it
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that boardroom meeting in Short Street with God no we were good friends by then that's why you did the whole thing and
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actually I got to tell you I mean I wasn't actually as upset as what I think
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oh my God I mean I can say this now as what I think the company got like I I felt like the company got really upset
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and I was like oh no I thought it was a bit of a dick move but but at the same time at the same time I was like I live
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yeah but then it got real serious and I was like okay well if everyone's taking
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it seriously and we're going to go to the boardroom while you know I'll sit
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there but I never wanted you guys to feel like yeah that that was a really bad thing to have done oh no it was It
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was a major dick move and I jeez we should elabor should we elaborate on what it is or should I just chop this
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bit out I mean let's talk about think we can always fix it and post okay so it
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was like the Shand Street 20th or 20 20th uh birthday party and uh JJ and I were there and um um we were we were
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chatting to you and the alcohol was flowing and I I I had my phone in record mode yeah and and it was like you I
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think you were talking to JJ you like you you need to find you do do a dating segment and find me a date totally yeah
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basically we recorded you guys Without You consent and then the next the the next morning on the when I when I say it
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now like my toes are curling like I'm embarrassed about about what we did but
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at the time to be honest I probably didn't see anything wrong with it and that's that's a me problem oh no
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absolutely well I I I remember when I heard the segment um you did do a really nice leading so I would give you that
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like you were like hey we were at the sh Street 20th and you know I love these two you know they're great friends um
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but yeah and I was like oh well kiss you preempted a cuz it wasn't like when you
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hear secretly recorded audio you think it's something um salacious or malicious
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which it definitely wasn't no um so it was just kind of like a way of like teing off that we're at the party last
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night but I do see now all sorts of problems with it and I'd never do something like that again yeah no and so
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invasive and it was wrong well it's you know these are learning moments hey and
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I think also at the time let's be honest like the nature of the edge you know you
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kind of guys were on that sort of shock jock kind of level which is what the show was about and so I mean I can see
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it from your point of view as well and it was kind of a bit of a fun bit of a d but but but I never I never had any
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personal animosity towards you for it um either of you and that day in the boardroom and then Jay cried and and so
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yeah but I I love that we've remained friends but yes I remember when I first
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met you and j i we were doing C4 and the was just about to start I think we'd
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been on here for a little while and the edge was starting the segment where they
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were bringing the edge hosts on so it was like you JJ Tash Tash TOS you was the chat show like a Saturday night 1
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hour right right and you guys were sitting in the green room and you were really really nervous and that's the
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very very first time we met and I remember thinking at that time cuz had you guys come up from down the line yeah
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with the age was originally based on Hamilton and we' only been in Oakland A
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couple of years and it was so obvious you know like I was like a cuz I'm from
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the provin provin to you know and so I was like I feel you guys you know these lovely provincial kids coming up yeah so
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long journey long journey D long long journey shortest incident could have been the the the breaking of our
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relationship but it's just not even a thing no to that's cool and I think that
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says a lot about you um one thing um yeah listening to a lot of um previous podcast you've been on and to be fair
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there haven't been as many as what I thought but there's a few uh in particular one that you did with um the
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girls uninterrupted oh you listen to that one yeah and another one with Simon Bridges and it feels like you were
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manifesting some sort of interaction with Jason Mamoa um this is before he came to New Zealand for Minecraft or
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whatever he was doing did you meet Jason Mamoa no I did not I did not and then now he's not even available anymore so I
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was like a I was so disappointed there was a there were a few moments where I actually could have but like it just
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didn't work out so I thought okay for whatever reason I wasn't me well Jason
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wasn't meant to meet meet me right now I don't know I Reon if if if these
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podcasts got got um on his radio he was probably hiding from you he was terrifying well we do have
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like mutual friends um we'll get into all that CU you know everybody it's crazy who you
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know um first of let's go all the way back um so you're from toonga yes samon
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mom and a pingy dad yeah and um a takeaway shop kid two takeway shops yeah so when I see shop kids you know because
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that's a real experience you know the kids who grow up in their parents shops
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you know often you'll see it in late deries you know but uh yeah my version was the takeaway um that was my
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playground and you were allergic to fish yeah insane like especially for Aon being allergic to fish and food but
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crazily I've actually grown out of my allergy which was that's bizarre too
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yeah so what what did that look like to me it seems like a kid's fantasy having
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your parents own a dairy um but a takeaway shop would be like the next the next best thing yeah except uh I think
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because it was so commonplace for us like we didn't actually eat a lot of takeaways because that was what you know
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Mom and Dad made all the time so I yeah I used to like hang out in the shop especially you know playing spaces and
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that and like my dad would let me ring up all these credits and then of course I was a little kid and I couldn't play
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the games properly so all the boys when they'd see me at the game would come to
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the game because they would know that at some point I would just walk away and go
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oh does anyone want my credits and they'd be like yeah and they take my credits that was a big thing back then
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and what of age like five yeah yeah four five oh well I started going to the shop
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my parents started taking me to the shop when I was 11 months old and then till till I started school yeah I went to
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kindy a little bit but not really until yeah School H when when you reflect on that time
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um is there anything there that helped you as an actor like in terms of like um human interactions human behavior 100% I
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think my whole entire childhood well life experience um helps me with my acting um because I think growing up in
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a shop environment um there's nothing childlike there so all I did all day long was Observe adults just OB and I
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didn't really have many Playmates although there was a Health shop next to our shop in greton and there was a
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little boy um his mom owned the health shop and so when he was there we'd play
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together and that was my only little mate and so we did a bit of time at Candy together and he actually after I
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did um Duncan Garner's podcast he actually messaged me this kid that I used to play with at our parent shops
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yeah amazing yeah and so cool and just said oh I don't know if you remember me
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but we used to play together and I was like this yes you were the only kid I used to play with his name is Patrick
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and um I I used to remember that his mom and my mom would always say oh your boyfriend and it used to really upset me
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at the time so how how old he the same age as you yeah we're exactly the same age like
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we're old as [ __ ] now I'm 5 I'm 51 you're 40 you're 50 next January I'm
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turning 50 next January but we're not old we're older I keep telling everyone
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this I go we are not old yet we will know when we are old I mean yes we're getting to that we're mdle M age we're
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middleaged we we things are starting to fall apart you know and going down south
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and you know all the things but but we're not old yet Don we're not we're
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far far from it no but I don't say it like a like a bad thing I feel I feel I
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feel good about it but I think back to say when I was 30 or 25 and I thought 50 you might as well have been dead oh you
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freaking know yeah yeah I do feel bad now of looking at 40 and 50 as being old cuz now I'm like oh well I I get it yeah
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and and and like yourself like I love the age that I'm at like okay I've got
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no crimes about being a woman and getting older and you know I've done the menopause I've done all the things you
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know it's it's it's it's just life have you how was how was menopause what did
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that meant to you yeah well you know it was hilarious for me because I didn't
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realize I was going through menopause um and until my I don't know how candid we
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can get until my periods stopped for a year and then I was like wow I haven't had a period for a
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year I I should really go get that checked out is that man or is it something you know else it could be
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something else and then I did the test and my doctor rang me and he said oh yeah no it's the menopause and and that
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I was done that I was through it so you didn't have like a hot flashes or the
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only the only symptom that I was aware of was um some night sweats but I was really lucky I didn't get any like hot
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flushes and stuff like I mean menopause is this whole thing like some women just
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have the worst time on Earth and some woman like me kind of barely noticed it bre you're not even aware yeah and then
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and I'm like I was done done because they can tell by some level they check and he was like no you were like
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literally post menopausal how how good does it when um like coming from like a just a man here
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like when you when you lose your period does it feel like is it a good thing to get rid of it or does it feel like
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you're losing a part of you 100% so what I love Dom is that I've got a lot of
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older girlfriends who walked me through some of the the feelings that um I would
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go through and I was so so grateful because one of my girlfriend said to me she goes you know it's really funny
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you'll miss your period when it's gone because it signifies the end of an era
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and she was 100% right you know I mean I love the practicality of it because you
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know that's not a good time but it is but it does but you do when you're at this stage of life you do
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know oh yeah that has that has ended that that part has ended and you do you mourn it a bit you mourn it a bit and
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yeah you are in a different face can you remember when you got it was that a traumatic time yes I totally remember
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when I got it um you a young developer or I was pretty standard pretty standard and I was so lucky again that I had some
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female cousins and Friends that talk to me about my period because of course my mom never discussed anything like this
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and I'm you don't know God soul I I wonder I don't know what my mom thought
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I would think would happen because because she we honestly we never even had we had no conversation of the sort
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and if it wasn't for my cousins if it wasn't for girls friends I went to
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school with and I even questioned it I was going are you sure are you and they were like yes and I was like every woman
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every go and they were like yes it's going to happen it's going to happen
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it's going to happen and this is what you have to do and thankfully I got it
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when I was at school so that I could like go to my friends and then I went home and told my mom and then she just
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went you must never ever speak of this again and then she just bought me the supplies every month and that was all we
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ever discussed ever wow is that just like a Samoan thing or yeah I like an across theboard Sone thing or is it just
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a yeah I used to think it was that's how all sborn women were but then I had all
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these other sborn friends that were like no my mom was really open but I I did put that down to my mom um her own
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upbringing yeah yeah yeah yeah in these um podcasts that I listen to that you've been on um yeah
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your mom she passed away a couple of years ago yeah and it seems like you had a good relationship by the end but it
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seems like it was a a tricky one yeah yeah and and I tell you what joh I'm I
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am so grateful I'm so grateful that my mom and I had the relationship and the
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journey the whole journey that we had um because the whole journey that my mother
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and I had made me the makes me who I am today and and I'm so grateful for her
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you know um I get emotional talking about my mom still um because have you your mom still here oh yeah she's still
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she's 17 she's still really well but amazing oh yes you guys just did par
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yeah yeah yeah yeah she's great but there's definitely parallels between
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between your relationship with your mom and mine like our household was very strict as well in terms of beatings I
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don't know maybe I haven't heard you elaborate about this but um as were
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always beating under a controlled environment but it was always about sometimes you do something wrong and
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then it's wait until your father gets home then 4 hours later you're getting
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you know your ass is burning for something that you can't even remember what you did totally totally I mean I
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think you know also that generation you know we were we were the generation of physical discipline I mean Hello when
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went to school they could pH physically discipline you at school what I mean what parents would like go oh that's
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okay today yeah I remember like getting um getting either the Str or the cane at
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school and I'd go home and tell tell tell Mom like oh or dead hoping for some
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sympathy and that always be like no no no no no you must have [ __ ] up 100% it was always it was there was never any
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question of the doubt that you were in the wrong totally totally I mean we me and my friends from the same generation
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talk about you know we we used to witness like even teachers were just like literally like boot kids like guys
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like just in the butt like like totally just like boot you just go we just sat there going oh well poor Billy you know
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I was like but no I mean I I physical discipline of my generation being s um it it absolutely would would
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would be termed as abuse today 100% 100% And then you have to remember and and this is what I try to apply to also you
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know understanding the generation that my mom came from you know they they came from brutal brutal lives in the islands
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like and so you know I think to them to their generation they they did believe we had it easier um and I guess in some
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ways we did but it was it was brutal and and I don't elaborate out of out of
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respect for it would be difficult for people to understand yeah yeah yeah like how do you how do you get past
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that and have a relationship and you know with the person after that yes you know I don't know why but I always knew
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knew that as a child it's really important to understand and forgive your parents as people um and I I mean I'm
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sure I got that from Oprah or something who where I got a great lot of my life advice from watching Oprah in the '90s
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um and and because I think Underneath It All with every child no matter the relationship you've had with your parent
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you know we do love them and and and and I I always wanted to to be able to truly
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love my mom and understand her and also forgive her for anything that that I went through because as as we all know
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and that saying goes you know our parents do do the best with what they know at the time you know and and we are
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only the parents that we are based on who we are as the person you know every parent is different even the parents
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that are great and and think they're the best and don't beat their children I
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promise you you will [ __ ] your children in some way yeah some they're going to
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end up with a chip on their shoulder about something that you're doing now yeah you know it's just and you just
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hope you get like a a little bit better with every generation like it's incremental truly truly and that's all
00:17:13
we can hope for yeah and and you your dead um it sounds like he was a really nice guy like a real calm real measured
00:17:19
yeah yeah um a lot of my influence in life well actually equally equally because both my parents influenced me
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greatly but um my dad is incredibly incredibly kind like Beyond um and I think growing up with him in the shop uh
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because we just spent so much time together and he just we just talk and I just watch him as a person and he really
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you know that's what I believe though you know you your greatest influence to
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your children is uh is who you are that that's going to be the greatest influence and my dad is truly truly kind
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and and he is truly non-judgmental and anyone who knows my dad will tell you that and I know that rubbed off on me I
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know that is deeply intrinsic of of who I am as a person well it's part of your
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DNA right both of them but um you why didn't why have have you questioned like
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why didn't why he didn't do more to intervene oh my the discipline was could
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not could not he couldn't mom was a force oh she was the disciplinarian she was the boss she was the boss she was
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the boss dad's a very strong man great provider you know he's a southerner you
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know he's one of those fourth fifth generation farming families you know they they are legit they have had their
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they they have had an experience too um so dad's endurance was incredible and I
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guess the way dad helped us was being the soft place to fall yeah yeah yeah oh that's so nice
00:18:51
when when you get to like I'm two years 2 years older than you I guess I'm 51
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you're 49 um and I I've heard I've heard you do interview and you talk about this
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and you you are so compassionate and so kind and so understanding and so forgiving of everyone and I think I'm on
00:19:05
the same path and you get that way and when you get older you realize it's part
00:19:09
of the human experience to [ __ ] up and um there's the seems to be this thing at
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the moment where people just love to there's a like this pile on mentality people love to like tear
00:19:19
someone down when they [ __ ] up but it's like it's The Human Experience you're
00:19:22
going to [ __ ] up yourself sooner or later the best thing he do is be a bit compassionate about totally I mean you
00:19:27
know what it is Dominic it's actually the easiest thing on earth to understand
00:19:31
people if that's your intention I mean you know all of that all of that judgment just comes from people's um
00:19:40
choice to judge rather than understand but you know the thing is that we are all imperfect humans and so therefore
00:19:49
the easiest thing you can extend to another person is understanding that they are just a person just like you we
00:19:55
it's it's just so easy it's just so easy we are all so similar and I I don't like
00:20:01
that today it it's exactly the say not only do people pile on when people in
00:20:06
they you [ __ ] up but people pile on to people or create division simply for just not thinking the same way or liking
00:20:15
the same people or voting for the same party or and and this division just I just don't know where people imagine
00:20:23
this leads to it's just ridiculous yeah yeah I like your viewpoint on that um yeah okay let's get back to some of
00:20:32
your what so growing up in toong or as a um a Simone kid in the 19 what [ __ ] traumatic as [ __ ] yeah so you had a lot
00:20:40
to continue with and but I feel like this is um an important part of build building the TW wheer story because what
00:20:45
like what you've accomplished is um is amazing you know what I mean like uh coming from such a like a small minority
00:20:53
to being um you know a successful someone woman on TV it's [ __ ] cool thank you um so I feel this is an
00:20:59
important part of building the twer story yeah so so Simone kid and todor in the'
00:21:04
70s the only Simone in your school in your class almost um so I think there were like from memory there were three
00:21:12
other Salon women in Tonga all married to Bas bangis and so there was one halfcast girl in my year
00:21:24
and yeah was and and yeah me and P liy I remember her name was PE liy and when did you when were you when
00:21:34
were you first aware of what racism was oh early early early early on because people were quite um at best they were
00:21:44
indifferent to mom um at their worst they were just straight out racist and we I witnessed
00:21:52
that you know as a child and and you know I've spoken about this before you know you don't sort of understand what
00:21:57
that is but you can just really feel it you can really feel it and then I started to notice that when we were with
00:22:04
Dad he was treated really differently we were treated really differently when we
00:22:09
were with Dad as opposed to when we were with Mom then I really began to understand that it was about the
00:22:16
appearance of the color and the culture and things like that and I did ask my dad one day I said you know Dad why do
00:22:21
white people hate brown people and he said oh dear you know not all white people do um he said look at me
00:22:29
you know um yeah and then so I understood that yes um not all white people are racist and some people were
00:22:36
and and and that still exists today but that's again why I don't sort of I don't
00:22:42
like when we're trying to deal with racism today where I believe it's never
00:22:46
been better and it can continue to become better but I don't like the division when we say all white people
00:22:53
are one way or all one all brown people are one way and I feel like there's a
00:22:57
little bit that of that happening especially with the young brown people who are starting to sort of just see
00:23:01
themselves as the opposite to white people and the colonizers and all these labels we want to give you know each
00:23:08
other they're all just [ __ ] but did you did you think that um white people hated brown people yeah
00:23:14
100% did you 100% because they they' demonstratively be be rude and and teachers teachers you know really made
00:23:27
you aware that you were regarded differently so you did feel you know when you're a kid you go oh they hate me
00:23:34
you know I mean like that in your simplistic thinking um you know but that that wasn't isolated to tongo and and
00:23:42
actually again they there were also non-racist teachers in Tong not not not everybody was but but you certainly you
00:23:51
certainly did feel it I mean even when we got to Oakland you know racism was still R in the '90s as well where people
00:23:57
could just be openly racist assistant teachers could too I mean I remember the situation and when I went to wak College
00:24:03
in what was 1988 by the stage and these girls called me a black [ __ ] so I went
00:24:10
to the principal because she was half Indian and I thought to myself CU a lot of the time in those times even
00:24:17
Authority didn't care you know other teachers didn't care that that's what
00:24:20
was happening and so I thought well you know the principal is half Indian she will understand where I'm coming from
00:24:28
and she um said oh yes no we'll we'll we'll take this very seriously and go
00:24:35
see your dean about it and then my Dean was like this oh well I mean I don't
00:24:40
think that was racist because and she said and she straight up say to me because they shouldn't have called you a
00:24:47
[ __ ] but you are black oh my [ __ ] god so then my mom who is just like she was so anti-racist
00:24:59
and and and always taught me to stand up for it she heard about it and then she took me to the race relations
00:25:06
conciliator which they called it at the time and I think it was Chris Carter and
00:25:09
they couldn't believe it's out it is outrageous it's outrageous but good on
00:25:14
your mom and good on you for for because I suppose you can go two ways you can be
00:25:18
like n [ __ ] that and you can be defiant or you can just sort of Wilt away and I
00:25:21
suppose a lot of people would sort of Wilt away and just hide away because totally but it was see it was those kind
00:25:27
of experiences and because my mom was a community leader like she was a leader of the um Pacific Women's Welfare League
00:25:34
um and so she it was so so proud of being Sor and never ever tried to compromise her culture or even
00:25:41
assimilate to dressing more binging to be you know accepted which a lot of women did in that in that day and age
00:25:48
and even some of my aunties but she really taught me to always be incredibly proud of who I am and who we were even
00:25:55
though we're a minority no matter how people treated us to always call it out
00:25:59
and to always stand up for you know anything like that racism anything like that when it when it happened and as it
00:26:05
happens and I I still do to this day but certainly at a time when that wasn't
00:26:10
done and certainly by young girls like myself oh yeah no I've always been hugely vocal about that you're vocal
00:26:17
about everything though you freaking know and I um I I I I love that about you too like you you post some stuff on
00:26:24
Instagram and I'll be like yay go to and I wish I could the same sort of um you
00:26:30
know courage and or strength and convictions whatever it is you just you just don't don't mind putting your neck
00:26:35
on the line eh well again that that came from having a mom you know like I did and that again that's why I'm so
00:26:41
grateful for my mom you know everything that she was cuz if she wasn't everything that she was then I wouldn't
00:26:46
be everything that I am today you know the good the bad the ugly and and like I said the brutality all of it but I've
00:26:52
survived you know and that's and that's what we do we survive have you have you
00:26:57
the or anything over the years to get to this point not not specifically but um I
00:27:04
did do a couple years of therapy at a really really bad time but it wasn't actually to do with my mom um and cuz I
00:27:13
don't know I mean people could disagree because I think it could be really useful and it was really useful at a
00:27:18
certain point in my life um but I don't tend to sort of yeah um rely on other
00:27:25
people to get through things I I rely on myself I do a lot figure it out yeah through reading or Oprah well Oprah was
00:27:32
a great yeah reading reading I I I find people who um inspire me um reading is a
00:27:38
great one because there's been so many great minds who have lived in much harder times than us who who understand
00:27:44
you know sort of light life and things like that and and talking to people um having a lot of older friends but I do
00:27:49
internalize a lot of things because I really truly believe that's where all our answers
00:27:55
lie 100% yeah so um what why they mooved to Orland when you were eight oh because um my mom's sister
00:28:05
lived up here in Orland and some years before that she had lost a child and um to child cancer and and my mom came up a
00:28:14
lot during that time and used to bring us up and I think they just got talking one day and just thought it'd be nice to
00:28:20
live in the same city yeah yeah yeah it must have been um like interesting you're like oh my God there's there's
00:28:26
more than three some ons yes and so here's the thing I was like going oh it's Christmas oh my gosh these other
00:28:34
brown kids oh my gosh you just love you all you know because you know coming from and they just thought I was a dog
00:28:40
and like bullied me ruthlessly ruthlessly and I was just like I really did I just thought I was
00:28:48
just going to arrive see all these other brown kids would all want to hug each other and be best friends they [ __ ]
00:28:53
hated me you just like too needy too excited to because because I was not like your
00:29:01
atypical Brown kid like they were way more StreetWise Orland kids are so much more cooler um I was a nerd straight up
00:29:11
straight up nerd and I still am today but they they just saw me as all those things as a nerd weirdo country pumpkin
00:29:20
you know they didn't think I was like a proper Brown could you're not brown enough with
00:29:27
the brown people it was you don't belong anywhere totally and I was honestly it was heartbreaking
00:29:33
cuz I just loved them all so much yeah oh that's and so you um how old's your son now what's he 30s 32 it's
00:29:43
[ __ ] crazy he crazy grown ass man so you were a young solo mom um so you got pregnant at 16 sucked that sucked 16
00:29:51
years awful it was awful what was it um yeah like just a relationship one night stand short relationship God no Dominic
00:29:59
it was I it was like my first love yeah yeah we went to the same church our families went to the same church and
00:30:05
that's how we met and um you know I was I was young but you know I did I really
00:30:12
felt I was in love yeah yeah yeah absolutely so was was there ever a this is this is going really deep so you you
00:30:20
don't have to answer anything you don't want um was there ever a question about
00:30:23
keeping keeping him or not keeping oh 100% 100% because you see um our parents being woman um and sour wanted well
00:30:32
because both of his parents are sour um they wanted us to get married and um my son's dad at the time didn't want to get
00:30:41
married obviously it's a lot of responsibility to take on I'm so young and so because he didn't want to marry
00:30:49
me I didn't want to have him be forced into marry me which I knew our parents
00:30:54
would have 100% just forced him to marry but this is what we do you know um in our culture but I knew that that wasn't
00:31:02
going to end well if this guy was forced to marry me because you know out of necessity yeah I just didn't see how
00:31:11
that was going to work um and so I did I thought because you know I had big plans
00:31:17
my my parents had big plans for me I had big plans for me and um wanted to go to
00:31:22
university and would have gone overseas to go to university and so that was exciting you know and all of that but
00:31:27
but I did try at the time to go and have an abortion and and I I say it to this day I when you just know you cannot do
00:31:39
something and it was bigger than me and it was just a you know when you cannot you just can't I just know what no feels
00:31:48
like and it was a no and even though I knew that my entire life was about to fall apart um particularly because of
00:31:59
how my mom was at that time in her life um yes and the Fallout was huge huge and
00:32:08
I wouldn't wish that on anyone get the box oh thank goodness thank you oh cool everything
00:32:21
you have is so cool did you want to elaborate on that or or not really like the Fallout well
00:32:27
you know um H how will say it is I was very much punished and and and in a myriad of ways
00:32:46
for years years I can't believe you went crying Dominic I'm getting emotional
00:32:52
myself cuz you're I'm just think like the I mean the the twer ionizer you know
00:32:57
like now a 49y old woman like I'm guessing even at 16 you're still the same but you just you're just you're a
00:33:03
[ __ ] kid yourself truly that is so much to go through truly truly and you know um what I think the why I get like
00:33:12
this um and and things I think about is the the person I feel for the most not only younger me and I wish I
00:33:20
had me the adult she had someone like me to tell her everything was going to be okay yeah yeah but I I feel mostly for
00:33:29
my son because you know when you punish what way you've given him a very good
00:33:36
life yes a very good up you know thank you I've done my best and I've made a
00:33:40
lot of mistakes and i' and I've done a lot wrong too you [ __ ] him up but he's
00:33:44
going to have kids and he's going to [ __ ] them up but you know what it is is
00:33:48
whilst I was being punished this young baby was by way of my situation and he didn't he deserved
00:33:57
better than that yeah all children deserve better than that how how the [ __ ] do you get through
00:34:04
that that period that's where the counseling came in because I had to um you know coupled with that and Dominic
00:34:13
we'll see how far we go with all of this cuz um you know got into a couple of
00:34:18
really good and abusive relationships um again because you know because I didn't
00:34:24
have my family um I I so wanted a family unit um and and yeah I yeah no things were were were
00:34:35
were horrendous horrendous yeah yeah which again as I was saying earlier th this is
00:34:43
um this this paints part of the picture of your story which makes like where you're where you're at now and what
00:34:49
you've done over the past couple of decades even more remarkable so um so you're at home you're you're a teenage
00:34:56
do you go do you to school um once your son's born or do you just drop out immediately you drop out was it six six
00:35:02
form then or yes I completed six form not very well cuz I was about 4 months pregnant by the time I finished six form
00:35:08
and uh School said that I could continue to attend as long as I wasn't showing so weird so weird but you know
00:35:17
everybody knew I was pregnant obviously but also you know I was six form rip like I would have been 100% head girl
00:35:23
had I stayed for seven form like cuz you were nerdy I was all the things did the
00:35:28
musical did the you know like I was on the school coun like you know I was that kid I wasn't like this bad you know girl
00:35:35
you know I don't know what bad kid means or whatever but I certainly wasn't that
00:35:39
type of you know student or person um and I finished six form but you know things were really bad by that stage you
00:35:47
know and I had to go to work um as soon as my son was 6 weeks old because I was too young for the
00:35:56
dpb so so that's just what happened so what were we doing was it retail you were in retail yeah yeah yeah so my
00:36:03
first job was at Barker and Pollock which was a material shop and I was getting like something like $5 something
00:36:10
an hour and then coming home and I couldn't even afford like plastic nappies so I had to use cloth nappies
00:36:19
and you know cleaning all the nappies like it was awful like it was like [ __ ] you were environmentally
00:36:25
friendly before it was it was such a thing um and you know I mean and then I actually after a while of working there
00:36:36
McDonald's I found out McDonald's PID you 755 which was huge so I went to work
00:36:41
at McDonald's and yeah I was actually before I came here um cuz I've still got
00:36:46
my plaque from July 1992 where I got um uh crew member of the month and I was like and you know my son
00:36:57
April May June July was four months old you know and so you know must have felt nice at the time like um yeah some sort
00:37:04
of validation or yeah but it was hard work you know and I I I keep that plaque because you know um as you say like you
00:37:11
know I don't think a lot of people sort of understand the actual story of my past
00:37:17
and I don't really divulge it a lot a lot um but it's been a journey and I I I
00:37:24
know where I come from and I know what I'm been through as does my son more than anyone else on this earth when did
00:37:32
your mom sort of start to accept him or start to accept you as well you know a mother the thing was CU my mom bless her
00:37:41
she's so she's so hard but but but she she did love me and there was a lot of
00:37:46
love but for example when I went into labor she came to the hospital and I'm like in labor and she
00:37:54
just walks in and she goes yeah well it's going get a lot worse and then she was like Mom but she
00:38:03
was you know but I love you but she she was she was hard man she was hard you know and then though after my brutal
00:38:11
child birth because that's a whole another story she did come to the hospital with Dad um and she was when
00:38:19
she held my son she was actually you could see that something in her was like that's my grandchild and although she
00:38:26
struggled you know she did struggle she did love him and I I really believe that
00:38:32
had my mom not left for sore to live when he was 3 months old um I feel that they we actually and her and my son
00:38:42
would have had quite an incredible relationship had they had the chance but we never really saw her again um only
00:38:49
about two more times we saw her again um after that till I think my son was maybe
00:38:57
10 wow wow it's just hard to Fathom how how like just how tough that situation was
00:39:06
for you and did it did it feel tough when you were going through it or is it on reflection you look back now and you
00:39:10
go how the [ __ ] did I survive all that um or both I think because you're in
00:39:15
survival mode you know when you're in survival mode you are truly just surviving and my son needed me you know
00:39:25
and so there's not really anything else you can think about or or worry about
00:39:30
and and things were bad and I I I wished they were different at the time but because they were what they were you
00:39:40
just have to deal with what it is and and you um his father or your your partner at the time or his parents were
00:39:47
they were they much help [Music] no so he s of growing up without a father figure initially yeah um but another big
00:39:57
thing for me was again Oprah and friends and Friends examples of their parents and things like that um cuz I do I
00:40:06
observe the entire world all the time and I learn all the time from everybody everyone that come yeah this is what we
00:40:14
talked about before coming from being a fish and chip kid yeah so I never wanted
00:40:19
anyone else to be a father figure in his life other than his actual father that was really really important to me um and
00:40:28
so whatever I had to forgive whatever I had to endure I was prepared to do that so that
00:40:35
that could be [Music] possible [ __ ] you've always had the smarts it hasn't just come like I feel
00:40:43
like I'm I'm getting better as a person all the time but I feel like you've
00:40:46
always been a good person oh God I know if I go that far but I've always had
00:40:50
this like I said I I kind of I know I mean like we all are we we're sort of just who we are at all stages of life
00:40:59
but I I've never felt like I was a child even when I was a child um and I don't know what that is or where that
00:41:11
comes from I mean I also know in my household you never get treated as you're a child
00:41:17
ever ever and I was like oh maybe that's why and also because I had such older
00:41:22
siblings and because we always had a lot of family around us aunties uncles you know who were always old
00:41:28
um I've always just thought a lot beyond my age I think even now as a 49 year old
00:41:38
I still think I think older than yeah well well also no doubt about like having a having a baby when you're 17
00:41:44
it's going to force you to grow up very fast [ __ ] yeah but God it must been so
00:41:49
yeah um like so lonely like you losing all your school friends you're just you're bewildered like a de on the
00:41:54
headlights and then um there's an incident when you're 18 um and Kart where you got abused oh my
00:42:00
God yeah and see that's the thing like I I think again about racism and you know
00:42:07
things that people don't actually remember just how blatantly racist people could be back then and I that to
00:42:15
me was so heartbreaking because at that stage I was still working I always worked I always always always worked um
00:42:21
there was a lot of stigma around single moms and I never wanted anyone to be able to say you know and again I just
00:42:27
think back and why don't you just stay the [ __ ] home and look after your baby
00:42:31
that's was the most important um but I was always trying to B myself and make
00:42:34
sure that people weren't given extra reasons to look down on me you know and
00:42:38
so I even enrolled in University because I know that my mom was always really disappointed that I didn't go to
00:42:43
university I only stayed one year and I knew it wasn't for me by that stage I
00:42:47
think I was just on another path um but at that stage I was in university I was also still working and I had this lovely
00:42:54
bonad lady that would look after my baby and um so I was yeah I was trying to buy
00:43:01
a birthday present from Kmart didn't have enough money so went to uh exchange
00:43:08
it for a cheaper toy and this woman this grown woman with a toddler herself in the cart just felt the need to tell me
00:43:19
you know how embarrassing it was to not be able to provide for my child um that broke my heart I'm in a kid I'm a kid
00:43:27
kid I'm a kid I'm a kid I am a kid and [ __ ] was bad enough as it was um and I
00:43:35
said to her you know and I don't even know why but I think I was start taking
00:43:38
her back and I said oh you know for your information I I go to school and I work
00:43:42
and she just mean oh you're right my husband and I pay for people like you like and and and I you know it was just
00:43:49
so awful and so ridiculous ridiculous some unall for and when we were arguing you know this then
00:43:57
this white man comes up and says to her are you all right I know you said it was
00:44:02
a long time ago but it was it was still the mid 1990s it wasn't you know it it
00:44:07
was recent enough how did you not turn how did how did you not turn fural you know what I mean and just think the
00:44:13
worst of people think [ __ ] if that's the way you're going to treat me I'll
00:44:16
[ __ ] be that person because there are a lot of people that weren't like that and the ones that I like that they
00:44:24
still piss me off to the St I still get like ridiculous people treating me in ridiculous ways for no reason you know
00:44:30
it's like that is just it's it's ridiculous but um but I did I I was
00:44:37
shaking with my little toy shaking all the way back to my bonad lady and she'll
00:44:42
tell you too cuz we we still know each other bless her she's amazing um I cried
00:44:48
like somebody had died just a heartbreak yeah she was like what's happened what's happened what's
00:44:54
happened cuz I just walked in and just like birth into tears and and look she was a white lady with blonde hair do you
00:45:02
know what I mean like so yes this white lady with blonde hair had done that but then my beautiful white lady with blonde
00:45:07
hair is looking after my baby you know as just as you know understanding you know but it was it was it was things
00:45:14
like that you know again because I was young you know you know and I and I don't think it's I think it's really
00:45:21
unkind to to to um put people down for um see for not Hing enough yeah was that that period of your life
00:45:38
the biggest adversity you've ever been through um it was almost like it was kind
00:45:46
of a long yeah yeah it's not like it's a they get to two years old and yeah it was
00:45:55
like it was a prolonged prolonged period as I said you know then I made choices that I I feel
00:46:05
like just always made [ __ ] worse you know like looking for love in all the wrong places and ending up with complete
00:46:12
CTS you know and just things like that yeah so so so so that um so that that version of Twi and her like late teens
00:46:24
with the baby at home or early 20s with with a toddler at home um what gives her
00:46:31
the right to think that she can be like a successful actor or you know TV personality because where does that sort
00:46:38
of like confidence or burning desire come from because I had it before I had my baby m i was for me I I always wanted
00:46:50
to just do the most just always be something do something for sure for sure um but it would would be
00:46:59
easy I mean first of all you're busy enough and you got enough going on it would be easy to be sitting here now and
00:47:04
going you know what I I could have been an actor I wanted to be an actor but he came along yeah yeah um perhaps because
00:47:13
you know and again I'm thankful to my mom to my both my parents but my mom's
00:47:18
family have um incredibly incredibly high standards and expectations of all of their children so
00:47:27
we were always raised with huge expectations that everybody had to fulfill and I that was part of me that was part of
00:47:38
me yeah and do you think part part of it um I don't know this is probably a bit
00:47:45
psychoanalyzing but do you think part of it was thinking right if I can make it on the TV or in the movies mom will be
00:47:51
really proud you know what I'm sure that that has been a driving a a motivating
00:47:58
force truly and I guess where it came down to that specifically because you see the thing is don't because you know
00:48:06
I always did well you know I I I've got no issues you know learning things all
00:48:11
of that I've been really blessed in that way my whole life you know um I found
00:48:15
that really easy which I've always believed was one of my advantages in life that I never ever had to struggle
00:48:20
in that way so I always knew that whatever I did I'd be successful at but I particularly wanted to be successful
00:48:27
at what I loved and my mom never never ever saw that as a viable career so I guess for me yes I I always I mean if I
00:48:37
had become a lawyer if I'd become an accountant whatever I would have gone down you know whatever Road I would have
00:48:43
been good at it I would have made myself be good at it um but I wanted to succeed
00:48:50
in this one because it's what I love but two and it was not ever about proving
00:48:56
mom wrong it was just saying see Mom it was possible that was all that was all and I really really love that I
00:49:04
mean I love that it made her so proud by the end but I did struggle in the beginning I did struggle in the
00:49:12
beginning um because I wondered I didn't want that to be the only reason that any relationship in my
00:49:23
life became good MH you know yeah like that external validation sort of thing yeah but how did how did you even do it
00:49:31
they were I'm trying to think back who was someone on TV at the time no one yeah no not not in the I mean we had T
00:49:38
to Pacifica and I think we had had um there was olle who was on um was that program spot on was that I don't know
00:49:49
there was like this magazine type program in the ' 80s yeah so there was one Sor presenter on that in the ' 80s
00:49:56
and then there was uh Katherine mcferson who I think was new she was on now she was
00:50:01
on now and then there was me yeah and so you're such a Trailblazer are you oh you know what
00:50:15
darling I recognized the need and I me know sounds so cliche now because representation is
00:50:22
so overused now and we've got it but but in that in that time in that time time
00:50:27
when we didn't um I recognized the need for it that this has to happen this has
00:50:35
to happen and it has to happen in mainstream and people have to start looking at us like we are the same as
00:50:42
anyone else and that was always a huge motivation for me and again I got to do it in in in the part of the world that
00:50:50
you know that I love like I love music I love acting I love writing everything the Arts is is my thing that is my thing
00:50:58
and I want to do it there yeah how much of it has been um just talent and how much of it has been you know hard work
00:51:05
and hustle 50/50 yeah 5050 yeah I think you have to have I think it helps if if you
00:51:13
have a natural sort of talent in things I think a lot of people get into this business now without
00:51:21
any they just it's always going to be up a little battle isn't it yeah they just
00:51:25
want but you know it also works out so I'm like wow you don't even have to be
00:51:28
talented anymore you can just like you're just here just doing the thing awesome good for you yeah good for you
00:51:36
um but um it I I volunteered I hustled I hustled like a [ __ ] I gave up weekends to
00:51:48
volunteer I was an extra I went and was an extra on shortland Street you know in in
00:51:55
commercials and anything that I could do again because I'm I'm an observer so I
00:52:01
want to learn the job I want to see what everyone does I want to see the hierarchy of how it all works and talk
00:52:07
to people talk to people you know okay so what do you do how did you get to do that always put my hand up you know and
00:52:14
just do these things and then and I would if there wasn't an opportunity I would create the opportunity and any
00:52:21
opportunity that it was I would go for it and go for it and go for it and go even if it was no I mean that's still
00:52:26
what we do to today I mean I still get plenty of nose in in the opportunities that I go for but thankfully that's just
00:52:34
how how this business is and I've I'm so used to it you know yeah after a while
00:52:40
no no loses it sting doesn't it oh no you know and especially yeah because the
00:52:45
thing is what it is is the right person for the job right person for the right job the right job is not going to miss
00:52:51
you 100% yeah things will things will come when the time's right yeah think they're
00:52:56
saying something like that so what was the first job was it the legend of Johnny Lingo what's the what is the The
00:53:02
Legend of Johnny Lingo so that was a Mor film and again I wanted one of the main
00:53:09
roles I ended up becoming a featured extra you know and like and some of you know some of the girls that I told about
00:53:15
the project got like the main roles and I'm like that's okay that's okay I if
00:53:22
they want me to do one line and one scene I'm going to come and do one line in one scene um so that was my first I
00:53:29
think uh or one of the first yeah one of the first probably the first film I think cuz some of the stuff
00:53:38
you've been involved with is just like iconic and groundbreaking like like the
00:53:42
SE only wedding stuff the broown stuff incredible yeah very blessed so so cool yeah very yeah you must be so proud of
00:53:51
that yeah and short straight you were Vasa from 2010 to 2014 b b sorry was that a good time you enjoy short hey it
00:54:01
was a learning experience um it's again so grateful it's the best training
00:54:06
ground as an actor and I needed it you know I mean I I I've kind of just gotten
00:54:11
into things before I knew how to do them um you know given it C4 being the radio
00:54:16
all of this you know I I never knew how to do any of it before I did it um and I
00:54:21
learned on the job and shortness Street um taught me a lot and it was such a great and challenging time of my life
00:54:30
yeah challenging um this business isn't isn't easy and this business isn't necessarily nice wow
00:54:41
and what I I thought the challenging but would have been learning the lines and the fast no that was easy for me yeah
00:54:46
yeah yeah again you know I'm I'm so blessed because the amount of work but
00:54:51
it makes you sharp you know and I loved I loved you know getting to to act every
00:54:56
single day and again like learning the lines you know I just eat that stuff up easy yeah do you yeah amazing I don't
00:55:05
know and um yeah what what about you and ask quite l so when when did I'm um I'm
00:55:10
I'm intrigued with this relationship because I think there's parallels with
00:55:13
um JJ and myself as well cuz you guys weren't the first um couple to amicably uncouple consciously un
00:55:21
consciously uncouple you know not even um old Mate Apple parents christm I was like May D's got the T-shirt cuz
00:55:30
you guys yeah you guys are you guys are in incredible it's such a such a wonderful friendship so youse so you
00:55:36
were seeing each other and you were engaged um we were together how the engaged thing came over
00:55:46
came about is because again Oscar's mama samon my mom um was like you know well a
00:55:55
girl just doesn't go around having boyfriends you know um so basically our moms said to us oh so you're going to
00:56:02
get married and we both went yeah so there wasn't a proposal a ring anything
00:56:09
but we were going to get married but it kind of just happened like our mom's or
00:56:12
like a convenience sort of thing well not convenience thing but it's the right
00:56:16
thing to do right you know it's the right thing to do we're SS you know but
00:56:19
you but you was you were so you were dating each other and you were you were in love oh 100% 100% and and and but
00:56:27
that was the thing you know like Mom just didn't want to just hey you're not
00:56:31
just going to be a single mother with boyfriends get married get married my poor Mama never made that
00:56:40
dream come true so so you're engaged for a bit and then um he there's an infidelity oh yeah
00:56:47
yeah yeah yeah yeah big time yeah yeah um does he I've heard you sort of allude
00:56:53
to this in some podcast is he like twer come on stop stop bringing this up or is
00:56:57
he okay with it well no he's lucky that I've never really really gone there but
00:57:01
I mean I think he's he's a good he's a good we like like I I I love him I don't
00:57:05
know him all that well but he's a good man and he is a vault and you're you're
00:57:10
both like so good for each other as people now and the state relationships at now but he [ __ ] up badly oh oh my
00:57:17
God that's that was the therapy that was the therapy and I think it was because
00:57:22
of that because I think um yeah I can actually say this and I'm sure he won't
00:57:31
mind I think because what was so devastating about the Oscar and I situation was because I finally felt
00:57:40
things were going to be okay well youve forgiven him has he has he forgiven himself is he is he at peace with it now
00:57:47
I think you learn from these things he yeah yeah absolutely absolutely absolutely and this is about the same
00:57:55
time that you guys were making um's wedding exactly which is which is like a
00:58:00
groundbreaking movie like it could have all capitulated truly you know I was like
00:58:06
this oh great now we got to go do this movie together and I hate your freaking guts and I you know and and like I'm
00:58:16
like this so I haven't seen the movie since um in years but are you a c in the
00:58:21
movie or no God thank God thank God that's an you couldn't that I could not have done
00:58:28
that I was like thank God it's chimp pal my best friend chimp pal um so so you know I did I said to
00:58:36
him though I said you know for the sake of this film because we knew how important it was going to be we knew how
00:58:43
it why it had to be made we knew how hard we had worked to even make it and I said to him okay 6
00:58:51
weeks call the truce we're cool we're cool I will I will come to work we would
00:58:57
do the thing we'll make the movie and then you know the experience of making
00:59:02
the movie was incredible for me it was my first feature I you know it was with all our wonderful friends all these
00:59:09
incredible talented people who I I I freaking admire and I'm fans of and then
00:59:15
on our final rap day they were saying the the prayer and he put his arm around me and I think in that moment we knew
00:59:25
there was going to be a different relationship going forward you guys just have each other's backs now like
00:59:30
unconditionally like yeah there's um yeah one particular moment that did you
00:59:36
want to talk about the the SnapChat thing or oh yeah yeah I think people I mean I mean if there's anything I don't
00:59:44
know if there there anything new to add to the condo how do you feel you you tell me not not particularly but the the
00:59:49
so the um SnapChat thing um which I I kind of like this just because of um I mean in the sort of environment that
00:59:58
you've been in so this this came uh in 2014 so this is after you've been on
01:00:01
shortland street for four years shortland Street have got a big publicity machine behind them any
01:00:06
publicist or PR person will tell you don't give it oxygen um and you did the
01:00:10
exact opposite because you did what was right for you or what you thought was the right thing to do which I think was
01:00:15
commendable but um uh we we're Oscar ties into this like at the time you you
01:00:20
were like oh oh you know I think I asked you to come on our radio show and talk about it that's right that's right and
01:00:26
you came in and Oscar was there with you not to go on the air with you but just to just to drive you in and be your like
01:00:32
support person totally [ __ ] cool truly cuz I was getting I mean [ __ ] people were I was getting it I and I got
01:00:41
it for years and years and years after what way just online online if you still go there was a couple more incidents
01:00:49
later and people just continued to pile on continue the pile on and you know and
01:00:54
and yeah just I I got really tired of it in the end um which is I guess a little
01:01:00
bit why I I don't do a lot of these you know because all it is and it's not
01:01:05
because um you know I can't handle it or anything like that it's just who needs
01:01:11
it who needs it I don't [ __ ] need this in my life you know yeah but it's um you look back on
01:01:20
that now and it's like first of all it's lucky um Conrad didn't get done for now
01:01:25
you'd get done for like revenge porn or whatever the label is for it again even
01:01:31
though he was just young and stupid and there was nothing vengeful in it but um totally but that that's that's one thing
01:01:36
that I will offer to this now um this many years after cuz I think it was what are we 24 oh 10 years we're 10
01:01:48
years oh yeah no yeah in May this year you shared a meme about it there was a meme like um something about um The
01:01:55
Warriors new coach that was one of the memes that came out cuz I tell you some of them
01:02:00
were actually funny and and that was one hey you know what who have made that that was funny but um I can say this now
01:02:07
and I remember you asking me at the interview and Oscar went n and I went yeah but 10 years on can totally talk
01:02:13
about it so people still today go I don't even know why you came out and said it was you and um well one Rachel G
01:02:23
rang me directly and said hey this video is going out and I think it's you we're
01:02:26
going to run it whether it's you say it's you or not but it was actually
01:02:31
after comrade called me and went I have to go on for a um thing investigation with the NRL so then I was like okay
01:02:40
he's you know Young starting his career they're going to take him for something
01:02:45
like that it's going to so I may as well just come oh you know what it just make
01:02:49
it easier but I made it easier for him totally like did not realize what it was going to mean for me yeah at that
01:02:59
time but that was 100% what I what I in my summation of the situation and we had
01:03:06
like two minutes to think of this sorry yeah we're looking at the time no no not
01:03:10
at all I'm just mindful of your time yeah but see and and I just sort I got two minutes to think
01:03:15
about what do I do oh [ __ ] it you know what and also as I said to you back then
01:03:20
and it still was today to me it is still not a big deal it never was a big deal it's still not a big deal and anyone
01:03:25
that thinks is a big deal is I don't know just weird yeah and the fact that people
01:03:30
would still still bring it up but do you the way things played out do you like think in hindsight I wish I didn't come
01:03:36
forward and say it was me no you wouldn't do anything differently all no no no way because what I didn't realize
01:03:41
at the time um was me just being myself um actually helped a lot of other women because I still but particularly back
01:03:50
then and for years afterwards women would literally stop me in the street and thank me and say thank you that
01:03:56
really did something for me and again that's why my whole thing has been you
01:04:00
know I really really really hate people who shame female for anything that they have to do with their sexuality because
01:04:07
we live in a time where anybody everybody's sexuality is is respected except for women except for females you
01:04:15
know and I that if there's a hill that I die on D that is it yeah good for you you
01:04:22
weren't doing anything wrong and and I was 10 years ago and like it would have
01:04:25
been a big learning experience for him and and everyone in that environment I think totally totally totally yeah how
01:04:30
was how was your mental health through that period oh I I suffered because of the shock because I
01:04:38
was like what is happening because yeah the Fallout when I just thought oh yeah it's not going to be that big a deal The
01:04:45
Fallout shocked me and I think any kind of shock is traumatic um when people are
01:04:52
unkind on mess it's it's traumatic anyone who's been the you know the
01:04:57
center of anything like that um they will know it hurts you know um and and people don't have a right to make people
01:05:03
feel that way and also people out there who do that you know you know that will hurt that person so you you know it's a
01:05:09
conscious Choice people aren't just thinking oh I'm just doing this and I'm
01:05:12
sure she feels great about it yeah and and when you're the person involved there's nothing worse than like
01:05:18
scrolling and just saying like hundreds of comments you don't even have to stop
01:05:21
you stop on anyone like a roulette thing and it's like oh yeah that's a negative
01:05:24
one thousand it feels like the whole world is against you people you don't even know totally
01:05:29
totally and people still say [ __ ] the most horendous things today online still
01:05:34
yeah still yeah UN about that yeah totally 10 years ago totally totally totally um in another L later fact sorry
01:05:44
we can move on from this if you want but another like so your son he was like 20
01:05:47
at the time 21 22 um gosh two gosh 32 do the math 22 yeah yeah yeah how was that was he
01:05:57
supportive at the time must been hard on oh was awful awful awful awful and again
01:06:05
years years later and people would keep bringing my poor son into things and again that I guess it's a little bit why
01:06:10
I sort of try to stay out of it out of you know things unnecessarily because I don't want the attention put on him
01:06:16
unnecessarily and I think it's really unfair and and there's nothing that that
01:06:23
hurts me more or makes me um the fiercest I ever am is if you come for me first of all but if it
01:06:36
involves my son then yeah sh yeah I wouldn't [ __ ] with you yeah yeah [ __ ] you're yeah you're a
01:06:48
good Mama he's done is he is he appreciative you know I know as um I don't know I can't speak behal of all
01:06:56
young men but you know you grow up with a chip on your shoulder and you're a
01:06:58
little bit selfish and self-absorbed and it gets less and less as you get older yeah but is he um is he appreciative
01:07:04
does he let you know he's appreciative of everything you've done absolutely I
01:07:07
think I think as but again you know our kids only know us as a parent it's not
01:07:12
like they they have anything else to compare it to and he has always understood how hard it's been and also
01:07:20
how much I've tried as well and then of course you know as as him the parent I
01:07:24
mean so the the the son looking at me oh there's definitely things that I'm I
01:07:30
know um he struggled with and struggles with to understand but again he's 32
01:07:37
maybe as he gets older he'll be like yeah I get it now Mama yeah but we love
01:07:42
each other very very much and we're very very close and I still do the utmost
01:07:48
that I can um to support his life Journey yeah 100% oh that's so cool I love that so
01:07:57
much he doesn't have any kids you're not a grandmother yet no and I would love to
01:08:00
be I would love to be love love love to be um because again as parents it's not
01:08:07
till you've grown to a point yourself and realized once you've matured what you
01:08:14
could have done better and you get to do that with your grandkids which is why everyone tell you oh my God you want to
01:08:19
see my mom or my dad with you know the grandkids compared to how they were with them but that's because we we know now
01:08:25
now we know better now we didn't know we were learning on the job and now we can
01:08:29
apply those lessons and and um I'd love to be a grandmother at the same time if
01:08:35
he doesn't choose to have kids I'm also okay with that too yeah yeah good are you are you seeing
01:08:41
anyone are you no no no are you I I think I I get the feeling um yeah are you just going to sort of um cloy your
01:08:49
way through life you reckon just yeah yeah yeah yeah I feel like after you've been
01:08:55
sort of on your own for a certain period of time you become quite protective of that lifestyle like it's not like you're
01:09:02
on the hunt for someone become so accustomed to it you know I think I think probably once you hit the 20- year
01:09:10
mark you know um yeah to to think now to I mean it's not that I don't believe in
01:09:17
being with someone or I don't love being in love or I don't have you know a lot
01:09:20
to offer in relationships if I would have that type of relationship but you know
01:09:27
you like having your things a certain way yeah you know I just don't know and
01:09:31
there's a lot of compromise involved and I'm like am I prepared to do this yeah why
01:09:36
should I un least you're Jason M MOA yeah I mean hey there'll be exceptions
01:09:41
you know I'll be like yeah okay um oh now what about scribe like I've seen you
01:09:46
a few things and um and Scribe I love scribe so is are you related to scri no no so what it is is Oscar and Milo
01:09:55
cousins oh Oscar Mar lady they're all the same family right um and via my friendship with Oscar and the three of
01:10:05
us have become uh we call ourselves the Trin the what is that the Unholy Trinity no we because we um we have a
01:10:20
very um a very very special uh friendship where we have really seen each other through um a lot in our
01:10:29
lifetimes um a lot of the there's a lot of reasons why the three of us are friends obviously they're related and
01:10:38
but what it specifically was I think I know for myself and Marlo and even with Oscar you know coming from the
01:10:45
backgrounds that we come from and the lives that we come from and then suddenly we have these big public lives
01:10:51
um and a lot of people that were in our lives couldn't understand what we go
01:10:55
through but the three of us could totally understand at all times what we were going through and that cemented a
01:11:02
friendship in my life that and out each other's lives that I mean it's wow that
01:11:08
it's truly something yeah he's a good dude I love scribe so much I love him and you guys
01:11:15
you yes you guys you Oscar scribe all some ons you your careers on the rise at the same time like the Crusader album
01:11:24
came out probably about same time as C4 he was my first interview on freestyle yeah yeah yeah it's
01:11:32
remarkable yeah well who else what about taer you know taer you mates with taer yes I mean yeah I've known taer a long
01:11:38
time yes yeah Rita you hang with him and Rita on night I mean I've met Rita she's
01:11:44
she's incredible yeah yeah it's good to see these kiwis doing so well oh what
01:11:47
about you and Sam Neil there's photos of you online what's your oh he's again
01:11:51
he's he's he's a good friend but see just been like I'm just name dropping
01:11:54
about all my you know um no he's an incredible man he's an incredible man
01:11:58
again um uh how that friendship started was when we did CES he sent a beautiful box two beautiful boxes of his wine to
01:12:11
Oscar and us as a congratulations and that's kind of how it popped off wow that Wine's expensive
01:12:19
too two panics so good oh my God and I got to tell you what we did because it was me champel and Oscar at at Oscar's
01:12:26
house when it arrived and I think cuz you know shim was just like oh cool and we drank like we just like opened and
01:12:36
probably drank like yeah a good amount of the entire oh no it's like 50 bus of
01:12:40
B I know I know oh it's a Tuesday night it's just oh no yeah but you know I mean for us
01:12:49
you know things like that were real Novelties um you know and and I again you know
01:12:56
knowing people like this who I admire and who are incredible like what a blessing what a blessing you know um
01:13:03
when we were just over in La recently for Oscar and Tiger's latest film release oh last go first go
01:13:13
last and so afterwards um we're hanging at that place you know the Chateau sh M
01:13:20
where everyone hangs out um and we were going after the screening to catch up with Michael Fender see I hate I'm not
01:13:29
saying these names to be like but I know but I'm I'm I'm like provoking you to
01:13:33
drop names I'm I'm just saying like cool moments you fell into my TR like he's
01:13:38
but he's such a cool guy right he's like one of the best people I've ever me face
01:13:41
Bender yeah 100% he is one of he's just so great and so ex everybody there's
01:13:47
just so many great people in this world and and when I get to meet or even you know be around anyone I'm I'm only
01:13:54
either um inspired and and learned so much but we were all hanging out drinking it was so fun there was all you
01:14:02
know gorgeous woman around as there is an LA and then Exel Rose comes up yeah and he's like this hey man of
01:14:11
course he's only coming to see Michael and he's like this just wanted to say
01:14:14
what a great fan he is and then Michael's like join us and then he like knees me and I'm like yeah come join us
01:14:22
you know to like get EXO to come join us but they were actually closing the bar at that time and we were running out of
01:14:27
drinking time and we were like going to the way please please no get us one more
01:14:32
round of drinks come on please and then ex was like oh wait here and then he goes away and then he comes back and he
01:14:39
goes okay guys I got us some more and we were like this yeah come join us come join us come join us and then so then he
01:14:47
does then I'm sitting there and there's like Michael F here Ela Rose over here
01:14:52
there's like gorgeous LA Woman over here and there's my be friend Oscar and I'm
01:14:56
just going see these are the moments I love for the these are cool this is a cool night what is life that is
01:15:04
amazing and you're a Guns and Roses fan you freaking no did you have to hold
01:15:09
your [ __ ] tight that night I sure did but then I broke the Golden Rule I because you know I was like this I know
01:15:15
cuz that is the rule you know don't you do not ask for photos you just don't and
01:15:21
even though you don't oh my God but I was you know would had by they s would
01:15:25
had a lot to drink and I broke the Golden Rule and I asked Exel for a photo and and but you you got one yeah yeah I
01:15:35
didn't post it though cuz I didn't want but now I'm telling you I'll show you
01:15:38
it'll be yeah you got to post it now oh yeah I'll post I'll post it well cuz
01:15:43
again you know like otherwise surgicals well but I mean did anything bad come of
01:15:49
it or no no it just makes the relationship you're Suddenly It's a fan relationship you're on a lesser level
01:15:55
yeah and you know it's just like this what about King Charles there's a photo
01:15:59
on your Instagram of you and King Charles oh yeah that was so hilarious you you're quite young at the time what
01:16:05
was it at I was mentoring at this program right and we were one of the programs that he was visiting um but
01:16:13
people will tell you this really happened and I and I'm not even I'm not
01:16:16
exaggerating or gessing myself up or anything like this but we were all standing in line to meet him and and
01:16:26
they have you know everything's planned out the way he's going to walk in you
01:16:30
know who the protocol in tense who he's going to meet like that and he was coming he was getting you know ushered
01:16:39
in to go the way that he was meant to go then he took one look at me and I just went oh no I'm going to and he made it
01:16:47
be like for me but then he tripped over a piece of carpet because this wasn't
01:16:51
the way he was supposed to be walking and then it was like and it was like this oh no and then and then we you know
01:16:58
all like these things happen you you just get to sort of sit around and talk but then yeah every time we talk he'd
01:17:04
always like talk to me and I'd be like hey well you know my you well I think
01:17:09
it's just cuz you've got this um I don't know like an aura or Charisma or
01:17:14
something I don't know I thank you I mean I was in a pretty fabulous dress but oh it's funny oh what about Snoop
01:17:21
Dog you hanging with Snoop Dog Tom no you're just yes no these are these are great Yarns
01:17:29
oh gosh but you know this is I do want to disclaimer I when I'm with the people
01:17:38
that are the people when I asked AEL for a photo um I I do regard them as the human beings they are yeah I am I you
01:17:46
know it is pretty cool when you're like you understand who they are but as you'll know meeting so many people as
01:17:53
well VI our work as well well we meet all these kind of people um it it's but
01:17:59
the energy of the people themselves is still incredibly special because of who they are but not because of who they
01:18:05
because of who they are and that's that to me is what I love as well so all right we'll say it like
01:18:13
this Snoop this is a long long long time ago too a very very long time ago so Snoop is an avid gardener
01:18:24
[Music] and um oh come on it's it would be anyone that never smokes weed in their life if
01:18:33
you had the opportunity to smoke weed with Snoop Dog you would yeah so 100% yeah so so what it was
01:18:41
is yeah I just helped him out amazing what do you mean you helped him out with his
01:18:50
gardening the okay okay we'll leave it um what about Bobby kedy Jr oh man well
01:18:58
have you like gone through my whole life no h to go through your whole life this would be like a a 10hour podcast it
01:19:05
is such a rich and fabulous life this is just scratching the surface of um yeah but the the the thing I like about like
01:19:12
the first half of this podcast it was talking about some of the stuff you've
01:19:15
been through like your childhood your upbringing and then the good times well yeah like to from where you are um right
01:19:23
now from where you've been it's I think it's something that should be
01:19:26
celebrating it's really cool thank you H thank you because so that was incredible
01:19:30
again because I also am a huge admirer of the Kennedy family I have studied them my whole life I've always been you
01:19:40
know loved the work that they have done um and what they represent politically and so I was invited to this dinner um
01:19:48
where Bobby Kennedy Jr was the keynote speaker and then afterwards um his people asked me if I'd like to go
01:19:58
fishing the next day they were going out on a fishing chatter and I had never been um fishing before so I was like
01:20:05
what a great opportunity and to go with Bobby Kennedy Jr so we just went and it was so funny because we're like on this
01:20:12
boat I mean obviously you know it's a really nice yacht um there's Bobby
01:20:16
there's me and um a couple of other New Zealand politicians and basically Secret
01:20:23
Service type security and me you know and I'm just going unreal yeah and we're
01:20:30
just hanging out talking and and it was a lovely day who were the New Zealand politicians um so Mike Moore the late
01:20:37
Mike Moore Oh yes yeah yeah y um he was the head of the labor party for I think he was prime minister for a while as
01:20:43
well wasn't Heen Clark way back yeah yeah so he was there um Shane too was there and then a lot of the names
01:20:51
escaped me the rest of the guys escaped me um and then just security but I remember as soon as I came on the boat
01:20:57
all the New Zealand boys had decided that I wasn't going to sleep with them cuz they were like man imagine
01:21:04
telling your grandkids you turned down to Kennedy and I remember thinking in my in my head who says I'm turning them
01:21:12
down but I got the memo I got the memo I was like we could just go fishing all right right right and what about oh
01:21:20
speaking of politicians um is Winston Peters actually your uncle everybody asked me this no he is not my biological
01:21:27
Uncle however um I have adopted him the same way that I have adopted John Barnett as my godfather is they're just
01:21:34
great men who I just love and admire and and I do I I love Winston I I think he is he is exactly who we need in our
01:21:43
Parliament and have whenever he's not been there it's been a really bad time
01:21:47
um and I call him Uncle out of a term of endearment and respect and I do respect
01:21:53
him and I believe that other people should too do you get backlash for that from
01:21:58
people like oh he he's racist how can you I think people certainly especially
01:22:03
in our industry um have opinions but again I I just think that's ridiculous I
01:22:08
just think it's so ridiculous it's like what why do people nowadays especially
01:22:13
look for reasons to dislike somebody else or to separate them you know and be on a different side it's like shut up I
01:22:21
I don't care about any of that I I really don't I none of it is important
01:22:25
to me I know like really none of it bothers you I was listening to a podcast a couple of weeks ago with um Shaman the
01:22:31
god oh yeah and um the he was asked what do you think of people that vote Republican and he was like he was like
01:22:39
well there's like 16 million people that vote Republican like I I I can't put
01:22:43
them all in the same in the same group totally same same goes here it's just
01:22:48
ridiculous yeah yeah I um yeah I think as I've got older I don't know if this
01:22:53
is the thing you do but I've started to look for almost like age Role Models so
01:22:56
like if I see MC Jagger on TV and it's his 80th birthday I'm like okay [ __ ] you
01:23:01
you can still live a good life as you get older and older and I'd put Winston
01:23:05
in that category like he's he's in his late 7s always looks immaculate his hair
01:23:09
is always perfect yes he's he's handsome he's sharp absolutely like mentally like
01:23:15
the stuff that comes out of his mouth it's like I wouldn't [ __ ] with them
01:23:18
absolutely he's fantastic you know and also what we have to remember is this
01:23:23
generation they're not going to be here forever and when they're gone we're
01:23:29
never going to see this generation again the the kind of lives that built these kind of people you know and and everyone
01:23:35
should respect that yeah yeah 100% and how about you where do you see yourself in like 5 10 15 years from now who knows
01:23:43
Daran who knows you know what I've I've come to realize will really apply to my
01:23:48
life is I don't attach myself to outcomes truly because I also know that life life can go ways that you never
01:23:57
plan no no matter how well you plan things um I see myself right now um you know when people like have their midlife
01:24:05
crisis you know usually happens around now I am 100% in my midlife Chrysalis I truly am because you know
01:24:15
Dom because of my life because of my big life that I've had and I'm only 49 um I
01:24:24
haven't really had a chance to ever really think about that you know I left school became a mother then you know the
01:24:32
career happened and then I'm just do and I'm a single mother you know so I'm
01:24:35
doing everything and now I would say is the first time ever that I able to sit back even
01:24:44
for a second and go hey what would I like to do now where would I like that to go there there's so much that I want
01:24:50
to do but it's so oh my gosh it just be so many things um but there's even
01:24:57
things that you know I I'm a closet musician and you know I want to spend more time there's certain pieces of
01:25:08
music I want to learn to play before I die um you know things like that I I want to continue to create meaningful
01:25:16
work I want to continue to always be contributing positively to the world but most most of all to the people I love
01:25:26
and I think that truly is the most powerful thing we can do period you're proud of
01:25:33
yourself H that's a really interesting question um it's a hard one eh I feel
01:25:38
like it's maybe even I like asking this to all the guests because I think it's
01:25:42
an unusual question for new zealanders to answer um but especially if you're
01:25:46
like friends of mine that are s t um they uh they they they to if they say if you say you're proud of yourself but you
01:25:54
can often get accused of not being humble enough yeah so it's interesting that you bring that up because being
01:25:59
salour um so another aspect about growing up with my mom is she never complimented me
01:26:11
once uh in her mind it makes you vain um and so it's something I've never you know
01:26:22
people ask me that all the all the time and I I don't know I don't know if I can say yeah I'm
01:26:28
so proud of this um do I love where I'm at yes um I don't know I I can't yeah yeah yeah
01:26:40
that's the first thing you passed on yeah yeah what what about what about your mom was she proud of you yes yeah
01:26:47
yes how do you know this and that's the thing um because of our wonderful relationship later in life and and this
01:26:53
is why I think forgiveness is really important if you don't forgive people especially the people in your life are
01:27:00
important like your parents that's a really important relationship to forgive
01:27:04
you don't give give them the opportunity to even know them in another in another way you know if you hold on
01:27:11
to these things you did this I'm never going to forgive you and I'm never going
01:27:15
to you know you you'll never see another side of them you you won't give yourself the
01:27:20
opportunity to see it and they you won't give them another opportunity to show
01:27:24
you who they are in other ways and I oh my God you're going to make me cry but
01:27:31
I'll tell you how I know my mom was proud of me because of the way she would look at
01:27:36
me m wow oh my God [ __ ] I'm bumping up sounds like nonverbal and I would know
01:27:49
[ __ ] yeah can you remember your last conversation with her yeah is it in person or mhm yeah cuz I I took
01:27:58
her to the hospital and um she died nine days later um yeah we we were at a really good
01:28:11
[Music] place and um in the end D because Mom couldn't speak towards the end
01:28:21
and it was me telling her how much I loved her M and it was me telling her how proud I am of
01:28:30
her um and thanking her for everything and just loving her and I think sorry I think we all deserve to go like
01:28:45
that well yeah especially as as you get older are it's like we were talking about before everyone's human everyone's
01:28:50
going to [ __ ] up unless you never going to [ __ ] up yourself truly and you know it's it's this thing you know
01:28:59
you're the one who grows if you allow yourself the capacity to forgive people
01:29:04
for things you don't think or other people think you could forgive people for
01:29:09
you're the one who grows you're the one who who who who ultimately benefits from
01:29:14
that you know I reckon that's probably a good place to end it sh that's beautiful
01:29:21
that's really beautiful thank you I'm proud of you oh thank you I know I think
01:29:27
you're I think you're awesome I um I think you're awesome yeah whenever yeah
01:29:31
when whenever I see you and it's not that frequently but I I just feel good immediately it's just um yeah you're a
01:29:37
good person to be around you've got great energy thank you thank you Dom likewise I'm so pleased we finally made
01:29:42
this happen the DMS we've been going backwards and forwards you've been sliding into my
01:29:48
DM had Co a couple of weeks ago I know it's been good it's been it's it's been
01:29:54
good and and thank you thank you for this opportunity and and for the wonderful conversation yeah I appreciate
01:30:01
you for being so open and vulnerable and um yeah it's nice when you get the tissues out oh my gosh yes that's cool
01:30:08
so this has been 1 hour 37 this is how much we've recorded wow when it comes
01:30:13
out if it's shorter than that you'll know that there's been some tea that's
01:30:16
been chopped down how long are they normally oh so yeah and between an hour and a couple of hours
01:30:26
oh we're in the yeah it's it's in a good sign I could talk to you forever though
01:30:31
like there's so much to your story like the Osa stuff like we could we could you
01:30:35
know pick around that for an hour cuz it's like such an aspirational and inspirational relationship yeah um but
01:30:42
yeah all the relationships you have with people are good and that's that's partly
01:30:45
because of you obviously well because I I I really do maintain that Dom you know
01:30:50
I mean our relationships are a reflection of ourselves and how you choose to relate other people is going
01:30:54
to be your reality and I really do believe in loving people I really do and I really believe in understanding people
01:31:00
and and that comes from I've I've had to learn to to love and understand myself
01:31:05
and especially because there was a lot of the time in my life there wasn't anyone else you know so I I do I I do
01:31:14
try to be the person you know that H saying be the person you needed I I do try and be the person I needed and I I
01:31:21
do try to be a way to everyone I know so that no one would ever go through what I
01:31:27
went through you know I would not want anyone to experience some of the things that I have been through so I never want
01:31:34
to be a perpetrator of any kind of that behavior that would cause that for anyone else yeah ah you're wise if it
01:31:41
was I'm going to put you on the spot right here this is a really really tough
01:31:43
question um yeah if if it was your funeral and people were speaking about you what three words would they like to
01:31:50
sum you up I would know what they were um they would say um loyal unconditionally loving
01:32:08
M and the best time you ever had way more that's a lot more way more than three but but that's what because I
01:32:18
know that um We're Here for a Good Time not a long time and so people do have a good time with me
01:32:28
and I like I know when I leave a lot of people will know that remember the good time well if if it was your funeral and
01:32:36
those um those three words or phrases were banded about I'd be nodding an agreement 100% true you're a great human
01:32:42
and thank you so much for coming on the podcast today thank you darling thank you for having me
01:32:47
[Music] n