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Michaela blide Minnie welcome to my
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podcast thank you I'm kind of nervous
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are you it's such it's such an honor for
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me to have you here I'm a big fan well
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it's funny that you say that because I
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feel like it's an honor being in your
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presence like I was saying to you
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outside before I grew up listening to
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you and you just kind of think of radio
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people doing being radio people and you
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don't picture them as like a human
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they're just a voice behind a microphone
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and you take a while to put like face to
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voice and then as social media came out
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you potac a voice and now I'm actually
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meeting you I'm like cool weird you can
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I um can I start by reading out the
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email that you absolutely go for it okay
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so so I sent you an email um maybe back
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in June uh asking you to come on the
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podcast yeah and you replied hello
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Dominic
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Harvey I've been waiting for you he he
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he Absol bloody lutely I'll be on your
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podcast I loved your chat with Lisa
00:00:58
Carrington and Zack Guilford when you
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were Runners only and always love your
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short snippets on Instagram with your
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Dom Harvey podcast page so [ __ ] yes I'll
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be on your podcast I'll even I'll even
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make your job easy and tell you what I'd
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love to chat
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about wow the confidence of the girl I'm
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so sorry rugby body image uh selfishness
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of training as a high performance
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athlete constant pressure of
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representing your country maybe even
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wedding prep because that's always a
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cute topic to chat about to break up the
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sport oh and my children's book I'm p
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get me on there talk soon Micha blide
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black f s and I talk like I play rugby
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like intense I um I I I thought about
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this after um after I read it and it's
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the most enthusiastic reply I've ever
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had from anyone and um thanks I was I
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was humbled by it and I thought you're
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either like you are a messa fan of the
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podcast or be this is just
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representative of you as a person and
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everything you do you do at like a gold
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medal standard 100% 100% like full
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enthusiasm Y and I think that just comes
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from the environment that I've been a
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part of since I was 16 um you know our
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black friend's environment has evolved
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over time I was in there when I was a
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high school girl and I was quiet like I
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barely said boo um but as I've kind of
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grown to know who I am as a person uh
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and the amount of people that I've met
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and that's the thing that I think people
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think that we take for granted like the
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amount of different people that we meet
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is that we meet is amazing and so when I
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get any opportunity to meet people who
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you know make you know have an influence
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on either social media or on the world
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or whatever um you know I'm going to be
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my authentic self and show who I am as a
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person as well but the confidence has
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definitely grown over time it hasn't
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it's it's not something that just popped
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out just like that um it's taken a while
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to I guess accept who I am as a person
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and so when I saw your email I had to be
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myself I was like yes
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I no but that was that was the takeaway
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for me it's like um you know your time
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is so precious you spend so much of the
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year out of the country like you've done
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50 tournaments or something since you've
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been playing yeah so if you're going to
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say um yes to something make it
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enthusiastic yes oh absolutely yeah and
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not only that but um make the most of
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the opportunities that you get given
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because this job that I have is not
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forever you you can't play rugby forever
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but you can always give back to rugby as
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much as you can and I guess my way of
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giving back is by talking about us by
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talking about the stories uh talking
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about my story and your your podcast was
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definitely an opportunity for me to be
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able to one meet you because I listened
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to you for so long as a kid um but also
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to tell my story and just use this
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platform to get people to know who I am
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as a human being a lot of people know me
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as a black friend EV player they know me
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as many but they don't know me as
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Michaela blide and so this is a great
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opportunity for me to express who I am
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as a human being outside of being a
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black F sens player I love that and I'm
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I'm so excited about this there is so
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much to talk about um and I can see why
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you're excited to meet me it's because
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of um this isn't it it's my Paris meal
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oh stop it give me that I went to oh my
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God I went to Paris in April and ran the
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marathon um it's a gold medal to be fair
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55,000 other people got the same medal
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on the same day no but you know what I'm
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jealous because this ribbon is far more
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comfortable than this ribbon like this
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is just nails and bulk
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that's all right they've been chipped
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either way and this is this is Silky
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feel that on your neck that is just
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lovely and divine oh you're being very
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kind jeez this is um I got goosebumps
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just putting this on this is really
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special eh that is very cool and then
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when you put both of them on put both on
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and then it's even more special yeah
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look at that now you can do like neck
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exercises go just go like that and there
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and it just strengthens your neck up big
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time they're um they're in good neck
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aren't they you take you take quite a
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bit the Paris ribbon's already been um
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operated on with that piece of material
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sticking out oh yeah she ripped so I had
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to get my nana to sew that back together
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um there's a few chips on the Tokyo One
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she's been sheared around a little bit
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but yeah um they are very special you
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you just arrived today and you just had
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them in your in your in your handbag you
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don't have them in the the does this one
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come in the Louis Vuitton box it does um
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she hasn't been in the box yet um I I'm
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going to keep wearing this by the way
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it's very Divine on my neck um she
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hasn't been in the box yet but my Tokyo
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One um sits uh
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in this is not mine this is my partner's
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midle oh my god I've just realized it
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says rowing means a on it oh my
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god oh it does too yeah you your partner
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who you're getting married to year
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Michael Michael Michel break that's his
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middle actually I was looking at it
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before I was like oh she's been chipped
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um a few more times than I Remember by
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the way how many how many couples can
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say that I grabbed the wrong gold mdal
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yeah we're a very overachieving couple
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God that's funny I they the last few
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days we've been going to like his n's
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house and all that and so we've had all
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three of them together just chilling and
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so I just I didn't even think okay well
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there we go Michael's medals being in
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the Dom Harvey podcast room yeah how
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good um okay so some of your
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achievements uh we've established two
00:06:28
Olympic gold medals Commonwealth Games
00:06:30
gold and
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bronze um uh gold and silver at um the
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sevens Rugby World Cups World rugby
00:06:38
sevens Player of the Year 27 and 28 uh
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2017 2018 first person to go back to
00:06:44
back um tracked running at 31 km an
00:06:48
hour it's even faster now [ __ ] you're is
00:06:51
it faster I've H 35 a couple times now
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yeah and a really good Sprinter as a kid
00:06:55
yeah did you you're a similar age to Zoe
00:06:57
Hobs did you even go against Zoe Hobs at
00:06:59
like games yeah so funny story about so
00:07:01
I'm a couple years older than Zoe um so
00:07:03
we didn't really race against each other
00:07:05
with age group Athletics so we did
00:07:07
Colgate games for years um but I always
00:07:09
remember watching Zoe from the moment
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that she stepped on the track and she
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would just carve everyone up she won by
00:07:15
10 15 met every time um whereas I was
00:07:19
sort of like top top three top five most
00:07:21
um Colgate games but uh the story behind
00:07:24
Zoe and I I've only raced against her
00:07:26
maybe three times and it would have been
00:07:28
post Colgate games uh and the last time
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I raced against her was in
00:07:34
2011 and it was 100 meters and she B Me
00:07:37
by I'm going to say 3 four Metter and so
00:07:40
I dropped my lip and quit straight away
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I was like great cool that's my C to go
00:07:44
um so if it wasn't for Zoe beating me in
00:07:47
that race I may have not have moved on
00:07:48
to rugby sevs but yeah she's an
00:07:51
extraordinary athlete and of course
00:07:52
she's from tanaki tanaki athletes are
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Extraordinary People um so yeah I've
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I've grown up abs Ely admiring her she's
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done an incredible job to put um
00:08:02
sprinting back on the map for New
00:08:04
Zealand oh yeah she's a Savage
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absolutely she's incredible but as you
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are okay um yeah let's let's talk about
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the Paris Olympics for a bit and then
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we'll move into other stuff we'll go
00:08:12
deep on the M story first of all what
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happened to with your eye what's the
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that's a that's a mean scy yeah yeah
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where's my camera where do I look that
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way yeah so this gorgeous little thing
00:08:23
here my new Harry Potter scar um it was
00:08:25
game two against Canada and I went to
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clean out um charity Williams and
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instead of I guess going under her chest
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I skipped skimmed the top of her head uh
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and it just completely split my forehead
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um and initially I was like ah crap like
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you feel a sting I knew straight away
00:08:44
that I'd split my head but in the moment
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we were on defense so I couldn't stop uh
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ball was in play so I couldn't just
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randomly walk off the field kept playing
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and kind of went like this and had blood
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all over my hands I was ah cool this is
00:08:57
a stitch so um Jazzy then scored which
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was great um and so that's when I hopped
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off but yeah I got seven stitches and
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that's why I had a white Plaster over my
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forehead for the rest of the tournament
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because I had to protect the stitches so
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yeah it was a great Olympic campaign but
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um yeah I mean I love it it's it makes
00:09:15
me look tough it does you look badass I
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was going to ask ask about that from um
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like a a female perspective because you
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know you know it's a it's a tough sport
00:09:22
you do but also you are quite a girly
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girl given the time and place um you was
00:09:27
watching the UFC yesterday did you watch
00:09:28
the UFC I um I used to watch Ronda
00:09:30
Rousey quite a bit Yeah but I didn't
00:09:32
watch the fight yesterday no so Dan the
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hangman hooker uh he ended up winning
00:09:36
his fight but in between the fourth
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round and the fifth round there was
00:09:39
blood everywhere like cat on his cheek
00:09:41
cat on his eye and he was just smiling
00:09:43
and laughing he said something like I
00:09:45
love yeah yeah I do remember seeing that
00:09:47
on Instagram and in all honesty that's
00:09:49
exactly how we feel too we're just like
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yeah Blood let's go I look tough I
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actually enjoy that sort of stuff like
00:09:56
getting black eyes and all that I'm not
00:09:58
someone that's like oh better protect my
00:10:00
face but it is just part of the job
00:10:02
really it's sort of the things that we
00:10:04
have to put up with when we're on the
00:10:05
field is Battle Scars and blood and
00:10:07
whatnot so that's all part of the job
00:10:09
really and how are you feeling um
00:10:12
pre-final yeah I suppose um like are you
00:10:15
are you real nervous or is it you go
00:10:16
into it with a good feeling knowing that
00:10:18
even if you lose you still get
00:10:19
silver um I definitely don't go into it
00:10:23
thinking oh we're going to get a midle
00:10:24
no matter what um a little bit nervous
00:10:27
but I think I was only nervous
00:10:30
because it's just an Olympic gold medal
00:10:33
final and no matter who you come up
00:10:35
against there's always going to be those
00:10:37
Jitters uh at an Olympic Games in front
00:10:40
of 70 odd thousand people uh with my
00:10:43
fiance and family and the crowd like I
00:10:46
wanted to perform for them so so badly
00:10:49
but also the Paris Olympics when I think
00:10:52
back to my initial dream as a 5-year-old
00:10:55
um to go to the Olympic Games and win
00:10:56
gold at the time it was for athletics um
00:10:59
I envisioned that dream being in front
00:11:02
of thousands of people um singing the
00:11:04
National Anthem doing the hacker or
00:11:06
whatever it was um and so this moment
00:11:09
was the moment that I've been dreaming
00:11:11
of for so long Tokyo was obviously
00:11:13
amazing and it was the moment where I
00:11:15
first achieved my dream um but it was in
00:11:18
front of no one and to me I love crowd I
00:11:21
love atmosphere and I bounce off that
00:11:24
energy so much now back in the day
00:11:26
definitely not I would have cried every
00:11:28
game because of how nervous I was
00:11:29
but nowadays I use it as like an energy
00:11:32
source um and so Jitters but also good
00:11:37
Jitters but also a lot of confidence
00:11:39
like we're the type of team who
00:11:42
understand our strengths and we know
00:11:44
exactly what we need to do every game to
00:11:46
beat other teams we knew how to beat
00:11:48
Canada um but they' also just beaten
00:11:51
Aussie and France so they had a whole
00:11:53
new level of confidence going into this
00:11:54
game but we knew exactly what we needed
00:11:56
to do with to to beat them and luckily
00:11:59
it pulled off in the end when did the
00:12:02
the crying thing stop just going back to
00:12:03
that you just like cry with nerves
00:12:05
before each game oh probably when I was
00:12:08
21 22 um from the age of 16 to 20 which
00:12:14
was the first Olympic cycle for our
00:12:16
Squad um I went to Rio as a traveling
00:12:19
Reserve but I was definitely mentally no
00:12:22
way near prepared to be an Olympian like
00:12:24
the pressure of uh competing in Olympic
00:12:27
Games for me personally then would have
00:12:29
just been too much like I know for a
00:12:30
fact I would have crumbled plus I don't
00:12:32
want a silver medal so that's that's
00:12:34
totally fine too um but yeah the crying
00:12:37
for me like the nerves just built up so
00:12:40
much for me emotionally that it wasn't
00:12:42
like my way of showing that I was upset
00:12:44
it was just my way of releasing what I
00:12:46
needed to get rid of what was built up
00:12:48
so like some people vomit before
00:12:50
competing cuz they're just that nervous
00:12:52
well they have to go to the bathroom for
00:12:54
me it's crying and so releasing those
00:12:56
tears straight afterwards I'm like okay
00:12:59
cool sweet I'm good to go the legs are
00:13:01
heavy the breathing's out of whack or
00:13:02
whatever but it took me probably a solid
00:13:05
I'm going to say at least eight years
00:13:07
easily to solidify a good mental process
00:13:10
for me to go through um what I needed to
00:13:13
do to get me into be mode when I ran
00:13:16
onto the Rugby field but yeah it took I
00:13:18
still like it emotional before a final
00:13:20
cuz we have our whole Management in a
00:13:22
room yay size we obviously hug and kiss
00:13:24
everyone to say you know got your back s
00:13:26
kind of thing and thank you um and so we
00:13:29
we have the whole management we have our
00:13:30
songs that we play on the speaker and so
00:13:32
for me going out to a final is emotional
00:13:35
cuz we have everyone in the one room and
00:13:37
we huddle up and the captain says what
00:13:38
they need to say and then I do the call
00:13:41
and then off we go so it's like a good
00:13:43
Unity moment for us as well to be like
00:13:45
this is what we're about to play for as
00:13:47
this family right here so it's emotional
00:13:51
so much yeah I'm wondering if we take
00:13:54
the I just blessed it blessed it no
00:13:58
you're saying um you're you're saying so
00:14:00
many um like profound things but I I
00:14:03
don't want anything to be turned into a
00:14:04
clip for Instagram or whatever with you
00:14:06
wearing like a shitty Paris Marathon
00:14:08
finish hey you're about to go compete at
00:14:10
the Sydney Marathon so we're going to
00:14:11
I'm going to give you my speed through
00:14:13
that not my endurance you can keep there
00:14:15
yeah so so you win the you win the gold
00:14:17
medal um and then I you can't celebrate
00:14:21
because you you get drug tested or yeah
00:14:23
immediately what does that like
00:14:24
immediately yeah so is it a random draw
00:14:27
it is random yeah so pretty much
00:14:29
everyone in our team got drug tested at
00:14:31
some stage over the um Olympic campaign
00:14:33
in the village um so for me it was after
00:14:36
the final plus two others so um we had
00:14:39
our medal ceremony we do you know around
00:14:42
selfies fans Etc see family and then we
00:14:45
obviously go through the mixed Zone to
00:14:47
do uh interviews with um the media and
00:14:50
as I was going through the mixed Zone I
00:14:52
almost didn't go through it because I
00:14:54
was like H like I've done enough I just
00:14:56
wanted to go back and chill out in our
00:14:57
changing room just for five minutes but
00:15:00
then as I went through the mix Zone one
00:15:01
of the Paris um drug testing officials
00:15:05
came up to me and said oh can I just get
00:15:06
you to confirm your name and instantly I
00:15:08
was like oh damn it I was like it's
00:15:10
Michaela blide and she's like okay cool
00:15:12
you've just been notified to get drug
00:15:13
tested I was like oh damn it and so um I
00:15:17
was heavily dehydrated um had barely any
00:15:21
water after our final um and so I just
00:15:23
had to scull back some water I was at
00:15:26
the stadium for an extra couple hours
00:15:28
because my other two teammates did
00:15:30
partials and when you do partials you've
00:15:32
obviously got to wait to refill what
00:15:35
you've missed what is a partial me so
00:15:37
partial so when you do a drug test you
00:15:39
do it depends but I think it's 90 Ms of
00:15:43
fluids um if you do less than that
00:15:46
you've got to top it back up again so
00:15:48
you've just got to wait around drink
00:15:49
more water um take more fluids and then
00:15:52
refill what you've missed so that can
00:15:55
take a while because if you're
00:15:57
dehydrated and go to the bathroom it
00:15:59
takes ages for your bladder to kick in
00:16:02
again um so yeah we had to wait for
00:16:04
those partials to be done and then we
00:16:06
could go to where we needed to go
00:16:08
afterwards to celebrate can they can
00:16:10
they not take blood yes sometimes but
00:16:13
not every time so one of my teammates
00:16:15
were blood and urine I was just urine so
00:16:18
it was just pan a bottle and Away you go
00:16:20
yeah and is it some someone watching you
00:16:22
is it really yeah yep you got to show
00:16:24
them all the bits um yeah they they're
00:16:28
literally just is watching you cuz you
00:16:30
know especially for men it's easier for
00:16:32
men you can you know that I don't know
00:16:35
how you can but you know supposably you
00:16:37
can Chuck something there and have
00:16:40
something else the penis or something
00:16:42
yeah honestly like it's it's quite
00:16:44
interesting what people try and do to
00:16:46
get away with it but yeah you've got to
00:16:47
literally Chuck your pants down to your
00:16:49
ankles lift your top up so pretty much
00:16:51
this whole thing is viewable and then
00:16:54
away you go and you just pee in front of
00:16:56
a random it's humiliating that is a
00:16:58
little bit but when you've done it oh
00:17:01
god I've been drug
00:17:02
tested close to 50 times easily and you
00:17:06
just get used to it to be honest they've
00:17:07
seen it all that's not the first vagina
00:17:10
that they've seen so you just get used
00:17:13
to it really yeah but I remember my
00:17:15
first time getting drug tested I would
00:17:17
have been oh gosh maybe 17 and yeah just
00:17:22
absolute stage fry and I took hours and
00:17:25
hours to want to need to go to the
00:17:27
bathroom cuz you know you need to but
00:17:29
mentally there's like a blockage and so
00:17:32
you just got to get used to the fact
00:17:33
that someone's going to stare at you
00:17:34
like this while you're peeing a cup yeah
00:17:37
yeah yeah i' be yeah I've got a shy
00:17:39
bladder yeah sometimes I'll be busting
00:17:41
for a we and I'll get to the urinal like
00:17:43
an event and then suddenly it's like
00:17:45
where's my pee now literally that's
00:17:47
literally exactly what it's like when
00:17:48
you're getting drug tested and then as
00:17:50
soon as you're finished you need a pee
00:17:52
for the next hour constantly cuz you
00:17:54
just had so much water so yeah it is
00:17:56
it's a weird process but it's just what
00:17:58
you got got to do when you're a high
00:18:00
performance athlete yeah so you you get
00:18:02
that done then you go and join the team
00:18:03
everyone's on a little buzz by then I
00:18:05
guess massive Buzz yeah yeah and I was
00:18:07
so tired um and so was my whole family
00:18:10
and friends but they'd been partying for
00:18:12
about 3 days straight so they definitely
00:18:15
had a reason to be tired um I also had a
00:18:17
reason to be tired but yeah we got to
00:18:19
about maybe 1:30
00:18:22
2:00 um and the story actually leads up
00:18:25
to a really good story um with my
00:18:27
journaling and so got to about 2:00 and
00:18:29
I looked at Michael and I was just like
00:18:31
I can't do this anymore the girls were
00:18:33
on some of our girls partied really well
00:18:36
um which absolutely fair enough they're
00:18:39
six years younger than me so go for it
00:18:41
and so yeah I just we ended up just
00:18:43
going back to Michael's apartment with
00:18:44
all of his um crew there was my best
00:18:46
friend uh and then The Odd Couple like
00:18:49
old friends and flat mates that um
00:18:51
Michael lived with for a bit so yeah we
00:18:54
just went back to the apartment we
00:18:55
chilled out and I didn't fall asleep
00:18:57
till maybe 7 a.m. got a bit 45 minute
00:19:00
nap and then away you go the next day
00:19:03
yeah amazing yeah and why why the quick
00:19:05
departure you you feel like you guys had
00:19:08
the tournament then next thing you know
00:19:09
on Instagram you're on a plane heading
00:19:11
home again literally yep so um the
00:19:13
reason behind that was because we were
00:19:15
early athletes um and there weren't
00:19:17
enough beds for every single athlete in
00:19:19
Team New Zealand and so if you finished
00:19:21
competing you had to leave the village
00:19:23
straight away and so literally within 12
00:19:26
hours um the new athletes were in our
00:19:29
Apartments so we had to clean out
00:19:31
everything um straight away and then we
00:19:34
had our um celebration at the Ed house
00:19:38
um which would have been on TV for
00:19:40
everyone to see which was great and yeah
00:19:42
we went off with our family and friends
00:19:43
and we hadn't seen each other since so
00:19:46
um half of us went back home to New
00:19:47
Zealand uh reasons being obviously girls
00:19:50
went to League um just needed to get
00:19:52
back to family and so I just wanted to
00:19:55
go home and just be in my own presence
00:19:58
so I went home uh and I was in my I
00:20:01
pretty much did miq again like Tokyo but
00:20:04
I did it in my own house for 3 days and
00:20:06
I didn't speak to anyone I didn't see
00:20:08
anyone I literally sat in my lounge um
00:20:12
and watched the Olympics or watched
00:20:14
Netflix or watch House of the dragon and
00:20:16
just chilled out and did nothing and
00:20:18
didn't see anyone or show anyone my
00:20:20
medal it was great I loved it yeah on
00:20:22
social media I saw you looked like
00:20:23
you're wearing um an Audie or something
00:20:25
with your gold medal watching the
00:20:27
Olympics Y no I honestly just did
00:20:29
nothing it was great I just I I knew
00:20:32
that um as soon as I started seeing
00:20:35
people it would have just been on the go
00:20:37
go go mentally and so if I didn't take
00:20:40
those few days to myself um and actually
00:20:43
process what we just did I would have
00:20:46
hated of it to caught up on me later in
00:20:49
my leave or in my leave period and so I
00:20:52
just needed those three days just to
00:20:54
actually sit there and be like holy crap
00:20:58
like this last 13 well three years
00:21:00
essentially but 13 months of knuckling
00:21:03
down on it has finally been completed
00:21:06
and that's something that a lot of
00:21:07
people don't truly understand is the
00:21:10
little bit of comedowns that you get
00:21:12
after an Olympic Games and I don't think
00:21:14
I've had the comedowns I've kind of
00:21:15
tried to avoid it a little bit um mainly
00:21:18
because I've been so occupied with
00:21:20
family um and then when Michael came
00:21:22
home we went we'd been aart for about
00:21:25
four months and so just being present
00:21:27
with him
00:21:29
um you should see my notes of committed
00:21:32
gigs that I've written in every day um
00:21:35
from now
00:21:36
until the 4th of September definitely
00:21:39
I've got something on so um I just
00:21:41
needed the two days just to release and
00:21:45
just sit there in silence yeah 100% yeah
00:21:47
and the um the Olympic Comedown thing
00:21:49
you talking I had um uh a girl one of
00:21:52
the former black sticks on um the
00:21:54
podcast called Brook Neil and she wrote
00:21:55
a wrote a post that sort of blew up um
00:21:57
after her Olympic experience like an
00:21:59
open letter called deer Olympian yeah
00:22:01
and it's quite like because there's a
00:22:03
lot of people that that would probably
00:22:04
go there with high expectations and
00:22:06
leave without any sort of like um
00:22:08
tangible rewards um you still have like
00:22:10
a post Olympic come down when you win
00:22:13
yeah and I think it's because of the
00:22:15
hype and the atmosphere and the
00:22:19
publicity that the Olympic Games gets um
00:22:23
you finally achieve your goal of
00:22:25
participating in it and then all of a
00:22:27
sudden it's over and then you go back to
00:22:29
normality um and it is a very very weird
00:22:32
feeling I had it massively after Tokyo
00:22:35
but I think it was because we had spent
00:22:37
miq 2 weeks by ourselves in a hotel room
00:22:41
plus there were other aspects around
00:22:43
that as well but um the the thought of
00:22:46
just sitting in a room and watching the
00:22:48
closing ceremony after Tokyo like I got
00:22:51
upset like I was like like it's actually
00:22:53
finished that's it done next thing um
00:22:56
and so that's why I purposely didn't
00:22:58
watch the closing ceremony because I
00:23:00
didn't want to connect back those
00:23:03
feelings again I just it's it's probably
00:23:05
quite bad but I just wanted to avoid
00:23:08
those emotions and just be completely
00:23:10
present with what I had around me which
00:23:13
was my family my partner um and just be
00:23:17
present with what I've got coming up and
00:23:18
what I can look forward to rather than
00:23:21
be sad about something that we actually
00:23:24
came away with a gold medal um and be
00:23:26
sad about that finishing um yeah it's a
00:23:29
very weird feeling and a lot of people
00:23:30
would never understand um but yeah I
00:23:33
actually saw a I can't remember the
00:23:35
athlete but I think she's an Australian
00:23:37
on Tik Tok and Ray Gun it could have
00:23:40
been her ray gun bless her soul um and
00:23:44
the athlete said pretty much something
00:23:46
along the lines of when you've just
00:23:48
achieved your lifelong goal of going to
00:23:49
the Olympic Games and now you're back at
00:23:51
the field doing shut off all over again
00:23:54
and to me I was like man like that's
00:23:55
actually the case there's a lot of
00:23:57
athletes do what they they need to do at
00:23:58
the Olympic Games they either win silver
00:24:00
bronze or nothing and then they come
00:24:02
back and then they go back to training
00:24:04
or they're on holiday or whatever it is
00:24:07
a very weird switch going from the
00:24:09
highest of highs for any athlete to then
00:24:13
coming back to normality it's a very
00:24:15
very weird feeling yeah thanks for
00:24:17
explaining that I can't I don't know how
00:24:19
else to explain that but yeah it is it
00:24:21
is a bizarre feeling yeah yeah well it's
00:24:23
something only like less than
00:24:26
0.00001% of the population
00:24:29
or relate to it's [ __ ] crazy well you
00:24:31
you talked about in particular the 13
00:24:33
months leading up to it like what did
00:24:34
they look like how intense was it so we
00:24:36
started our pre-season in July last year
00:24:39
um we for specifically for the
00:24:40
specifically for the Olympics um we had
00:24:44
three pre off the top of my head three
00:24:47
preseason tournaments before the World
00:24:49
Series kicked off in December last year
00:24:51
uh we had eight World Series tournaments
00:24:54
and then the Olympic Games so we were on
00:24:56
the go playing rugby from October last
00:24:59
year to Olympics which is a lot of rugby
00:25:03
um obviously in between that you got to
00:25:05
balance recovery to then coming back up
00:25:08
again for a tournament uh to then
00:25:10
neutralizing that and staying here to
00:25:13
then recovery again like it's it's a
00:25:15
really long process um of a lot of rugby
00:25:18
and having to balance um recovery to
00:25:21
then peaking again so it it is quite a
00:25:24
journey um and a lot of a lot of hard
00:25:27
work and it's also really important to
00:25:29
manage each athlete you got I mean for
00:25:32
someone like Georgia Miller she could go
00:25:34
and go and go she's a classic
00:25:35
20-year-old with endless energy but for
00:25:37
someone like myself um although I'm
00:25:40
still young I'm only 28 but I have a
00:25:43
history of um stress related injuries um
00:25:47
I've had three stress reactions in my
00:25:49
fibs and so managing that but also still
00:25:53
keeping up with my Rugby as much as I
00:25:54
can uh managing athletes with
00:25:57
combination so pretty much the whole
00:25:59
year for the coaches was essentially
00:26:01
obviously winning world series which we
00:26:03
kind of did um if you know people don't
00:26:06
count it or whatever um but then also
00:26:09
finalizing your Olympic combination for
00:26:12
the Olympic Games and so we had to
00:26:14
switch out players um to get the ideal
00:26:18
positions for who's playing where for
00:26:20
how long who's on the bench who comes
00:26:23
off the bench um so it is actually quite
00:26:25
a long process for coaches as well to
00:26:27
finalize that I don't want to say
00:26:30
perfect but that ideal 12 to compete at
00:26:32
the Olympic Games and so that was also
00:26:34
the reason for such a long um year as
00:26:38
well [ __ ] it's a lot a lot of travel as
00:26:40
well a lot of travel how how many weeks
00:26:42
a year are you out of the country or on
00:26:44
the road from December through to May
00:26:47
December is the Dubai Cape Town
00:26:49
tournament so that's our back toback so
00:26:51
we're away for a month uh and then the
00:26:54
rest after that were pretty much
00:26:56
depending on if it's a back-to-back
00:26:57
tournament or not um if it's a singular
00:27:00
tournament we're away for 12 days home
00:27:03
for 12 days away for another 12 if it's
00:27:06
a back to back we're away for 2 and a
00:27:08
half weeks home for a week and a half
00:27:10
back away again for it so we're in and
00:27:12
out of the country um quite a few times
00:27:15
but yeah every month from December
00:27:17
through to May Junes we're in a
00:27:19
different country um you do definitely
00:27:22
get used to it it's it's a people I
00:27:25
think like they assume that that's
00:27:27
tiring you know jet lag Etc which yeah
00:27:30
you definitely have to deal with her um
00:27:32
but you also get used to having to
00:27:36
recover your body as fast as possible
00:27:38
when you come home to sleep as much as
00:27:40
possible to then get back into it two
00:27:41
days later um but I would rather and
00:27:45
everyone else is the same I would rather
00:27:47
it be like that than it be like how the
00:27:49
rowers go away for like three months at
00:27:51
one time over Europe and do their world
00:27:53
Champs and World Cups like I couldn't be
00:27:56
away from home for that a month is too
00:27:57
long for me I'm like n get me home I
00:27:59
love coming home yeah from what I can
00:28:01
get you're quite a home body like you've
00:28:03
got your own you bought your own house
00:28:04
at 22 23 you've got your fiance you got
00:28:06
your dog yeah yeah I just I and also
00:28:09
that's what I grew up with as well um
00:28:12
from um being a Dairy Farmer kid Dairy
00:28:16
Farmers don't go on on holidays our
00:28:18
holidays were Colgate games as a family
00:28:21
and that was to Orland or Hamilton or
00:28:23
Wellington um so that was our holiday as
00:28:25
a family and that you know Mom and Dad
00:28:28
could get a um a replacement milker to
00:28:31
come and milk the cows for that week and
00:28:34
yeah so I didn't know any different
00:28:36
either we weren't the family to go to
00:28:39
Australia for a holiday for the kids
00:28:41
like our holiday was working at home
00:28:44
during school holidays whether it was
00:28:46
getting the carves in or milking to get
00:28:48
in the sheet get out of the house yeah
00:28:51
yeah actual packing the um when we had
00:28:53
square bales chucking them in the sheet
00:28:56
uh cleaning troughs out like that was
00:28:59
our holiday um so I just didn't know any
00:29:02
different uh so I think that's why I'm
00:29:04
such a home body as well it's because
00:29:06
that was my environment or that was my
00:29:07
culture growing up you you've chosen a
00:29:10
shitty career for a home body I
00:29:12
know so much travel but I suppose if you
00:29:15
put into the perspective of your
00:29:16
lifespan and you know realize it's a
00:29:18
limited time sort of thing definitely
00:29:20
yeah um hey one more one more Olympic
00:29:22
sort of thing and then we'll um move on
00:29:24
um Shel andne praise the priz so um
00:29:27
Jamaican Sprinter one of the one of the
00:29:29
goats yes what's for anyone who doesn't
00:29:31
know who we're talking about who is she
00:29:34
so she's been my idol since I was 10
00:29:37
years old um shell andne Fraser prize is
00:29:39
actually the reason why I wanted to win
00:29:43
gold in the 10200 M at the Olympic Games
00:29:45
as my initial Olympic dream um she's
00:29:48
shorter than me and just got she's a
00:29:52
pocket rocket you know she's called the
00:29:54
mommy rocket because she's got a three
00:29:57
four year old boy
00:29:58
um and just an absolute Legend in her
00:30:01
own right and so meeting her to be
00:30:04
honest I was honestly just sitting like
00:30:06
this in the food Hall eating my dinner I
00:30:08
had Porsha here and gosy there um and
00:30:11
gosy was sitting opposite me so she
00:30:13
didn't see her straight away but Porsha
00:30:15
and I both saw her walking this way and
00:30:17
Porsha went like this to my quad she was
00:30:19
like oh my God and she was like that's
00:30:22
sh very surprised and I was like and we
00:30:23
caught eyes for like half a second and I
00:30:25
was like and I just like didn't know
00:30:27
what I forgot how to human I forgot how
00:30:30
to human and all of a sudden these tears
00:30:32
just came to my eyes and I was like I
00:30:34
literally just saw sh and Fraser prize
00:30:37
and I couldn't help it but get emotional
00:30:38
and she had no idea who I was I don't
00:30:41
even think she looked at me properly but
00:30:43
I think we had an eye contact and yeah I
00:30:46
just got so emotional and then the next
00:30:48
day she tried looking for me and I she's
00:30:50
my Olympic besti um so yeah so yeah I'll
00:30:54
pause you there so so that was shared on
00:30:55
Tik Tok the food court thing yeah so did
00:30:58
she see that and that's why she went
00:31:00
looking for you the next day yep so um
00:31:02
how did she go how did she go looking
00:31:03
for you like so what had happened was um
00:31:06
her I don't know I can't remember the
00:31:08
guy's name that she was wor a teammate
00:31:10
anyway and they were walking past our
00:31:12
building to go to a supermarket that was
00:31:14
kind of up above where um the Olympic
00:31:16
Village was and Tyler and Stacy saw her
00:31:20
um and they they were on bikes and so
00:31:22
they biked up to Shel Anne and they said
00:31:24
hi and stuff and um then shelle was like
00:31:26
oh do you guys know who m is and they
00:31:28
were like yes she's my teammate and I
00:31:30
have to show you Dom I have to show you
00:31:33
and so um I was getting a message
00:31:36
actually during this time and I kept get
00:31:39
my phone kept on buzzing and I was just
00:31:41
like it's one of one of our things that
00:31:44
we have as a team is that if you're
00:31:46
getting a message or treatment you can't
00:31:48
be on your phone like it's just a a
00:31:50
polite thing for our it's one of our
00:31:52
protocols and so obviously I didn't grab
00:31:54
my phone cuz I was like no that's rude
00:31:55
but it just kept going and um I can't
00:31:58
remember my message guy's name let's
00:31:59
call him jack he was like oh you can
00:32:01
answer it if you want us and I was like
00:32:02
yeah sweet sorry bro and I'm getting a
00:32:04
call from Tyler what is she calling me
00:32:08
for and this was
00:32:17
[Music]
00:32:19
why hello oh my God it's a FaceTime with
00:32:23
it oh my God you're amazing oh my God oh
00:32:26
my God oh my God hi
00:32:29
hi I sound so dramatic hi zero chill
00:32:35
zero okay oh my God you're interrupting
00:32:37
my message T but for a good reason oh my
00:32:40
God Shel and you're amazing I love you
00:32:41
oh my god
00:32:42
hi
00:32:45
[Music]
00:32:49
oh I I what saying oh I'm so sweetie
00:32:59
that's
00:33:04
amazing look at me I'm just like oh my
00:33:06
God you're talking
00:33:09
to look and I'm running down the
00:33:12
stairs and then it will cut out
00:33:14
eventually cuz I lose reception oh so
00:33:16
you you abandoned the message yes I
00:33:18
jumped off the message
00:33:22
table the lift's taking I was like the
00:33:25
lift was taking ages and so I was like n
00:33:27
stuff this I'm going down the stairs and
00:33:29
then that's where it cuts and then the
00:33:31
next moment is when um the video where I
00:33:34
run around the corner and go the famous
00:33:36
Tik Tok it's had like 6 million views
00:33:37
now so you oh that explains it so you've
00:33:40
got like a shirt on that's got to stain
00:33:42
on yes it's got chocolate yogurt on it
00:33:44
um um track pants and beer feet yep and
00:33:47
I I wasn't even I didn't even think
00:33:49
about grabbing shoes I didn't think
00:33:51
about any of it I just ran down those
00:33:53
stairs one cuz I didn't want to take up
00:33:55
any of Shel Anne's time I was like she
00:33:57
could busy um like who knows what she's
00:34:00
up to and so that's why I just ran down
00:34:02
the stairs and then obviously went and
00:34:04
metet her and oh just when when I when I
00:34:08
tell you what it's like to meet an idol
00:34:12
it's so hard to explain because for so
00:34:14
long I watched you compete on TV um
00:34:18
wasn't like social media wasn't huge
00:34:21
whatsoever when she blew up um and so I
00:34:25
only witnessed her on TV and as a kid
00:34:28
when you see your idol on TV you just
00:34:30
know for a fact you're never going to
00:34:32
meet them you're just like I'm going to
00:34:33
admire you from afar you have no idea
00:34:36
who I am but I look up to you as someone
00:34:39
who has made a huge impact to women's
00:34:41
sport especially Athletics um because
00:34:44
it's always about the fastest man on the
00:34:46
planet but it's never about the fastest
00:34:48
woman and she just really emphasized
00:34:51
what it meant to be a very fast female
00:34:54
in both the 100 and 200 M um and so when
00:34:57
I saw her in
00:34:59
person my whole soul left my body and
00:35:03
was watching me above as I hugged her
00:35:06
and if I hugged her 10% stronger than
00:35:09
what I did I would have broken her robes
00:35:11
she's tiny she's so tiny um and just
00:35:16
super super kind and you know we're
00:35:18
talking about the Olympic she's talking
00:35:20
about her and what she's up to and she
00:35:22
was saying it to the last one obviously
00:35:24
so she's just going to have fun we're
00:35:26
like Yo cool and then she said I'll come
00:35:28
watch you play and you know like even
00:35:31
I've said to people yeah yeah I'll come
00:35:32
you know I'll watch you play and it's
00:35:34
you know you you say it with meaning but
00:35:36
you know that deep down you can't
00:35:38
probably won't and probably won't but so
00:35:40
when she said it I was like oh yeah cool
00:35:42
like that'd be great but you're a buzzy
00:35:44
lady and then all of a sudden after our
00:35:47
China game I can hear like from afar and
00:35:51
I was like going to hear my name and I
00:35:53
looked up and here's Alicia Quirk whose
00:35:56
um EX SS player she does stuff with um
00:35:59
HSBC 7s and she's going like this and I
00:36:02
was oh yeah and then she points like
00:36:04
this and so I just kind of look to my
00:36:06
left and there's Shel andne Fraser price
00:36:08
watching us and I just lost I jumped up
00:36:11
and down I'm screaming I was getting
00:36:13
interviewed by like Jamaica Star someone
00:36:15
else and someone else because of these
00:36:17
videos going viral um and she came to
00:36:20
watch us play and then on her insta
00:36:22
story she's cheering for me like she's
00:36:24
cheering for little Michaela blide who's
00:36:27
from Aki who you know it's just a random
00:36:31
to her but to me she's someone who made
00:36:34
a huge impact on my sporting career and
00:36:37
although she would probably never
00:36:38
understand it to that aspect but the
00:36:40
fact that she took time out of her day
00:36:41
to watch us and to cheer for me um
00:36:45
really puts in perspective how important
00:36:48
it is to as an Olympian to um to really
00:36:52
spread that love and care and joy to
00:36:55
other people cuz even though I'm an
00:36:56
Olympian as well
00:36:58
having her there was just unbelievably
00:37:01
meaningful and it just kind of it makes
00:37:04
you realize that the job that we have as
00:37:06
well when we go to Club rugby or to
00:37:10
Little Jenny school rugby or whatever
00:37:12
they see us on the sideline and they
00:37:14
feel just like how I felt there and so
00:37:16
it was a good reminder that uh we have a
00:37:19
really important role in our job to
00:37:22
continue um you know impacting the lives
00:37:25
that we have around us that look up to
00:37:27
us as as well yeah and I love just how
00:37:30
there something just really really pure
00:37:32
about um your reaction you're not
00:37:35
playing at Co um it's completely
00:37:38
unfiltered and natural and there's
00:37:39
something wonderful about that and um
00:37:41
have you been in touch since um I gave
00:37:44
her one of our training jerseys uh so
00:37:46
that was the last time I saw her was at
00:37:48
the game um I haven't seen her since I
00:37:52
um had one of your friends FaceTime her
00:37:55
uh when I was giving a black juy to the
00:37:57
jamaan team building cuz I really wanted
00:37:59
to one of the ways that we love to show
00:38:01
our gratitude is by giving a piece of
00:38:02
our black F sens kit and to them it's
00:38:05
probably just a uniform but to us that
00:38:07
it was it's something that we actually
00:38:08
hold quite cherish to us and so I gave
00:38:10
her one of my training jerseys um before
00:38:14
she competed um to say like thank you
00:38:17
that she she didn't have to come and see
00:38:19
me she didn't have to come watch us play
00:38:21
she's getting for an Olympic Games
00:38:23
herself getting ready and she took time
00:38:26
out of her day to come and support us
00:38:28
like to me that's just huge um we were
00:38:31
never going to go support anyone before
00:38:33
our before our competition kicked off so
00:38:36
the fact that she went and did that was
00:38:37
just massive um and so yeah I went and
00:38:41
sent the Jersey to um her building
00:38:45
whether she received it or not I've got
00:38:46
no idea um and then obviously her
00:38:49
Olympic Journey um was disrupted poorly
00:38:52
and really unfortunately um and so you
00:38:56
know she's obviously got things that
00:38:57
need she needs to deal with as well um
00:38:59
what happened well obviously she missed
00:39:02
out on her semi-final race because of
00:39:04
the drama of the bus going to the same
00:39:08
security gate for her and other athlete
00:39:10
includ including um Shakari Richardson
00:39:13
uh and they were disallowed to go
00:39:14
through that gate and so they were like
00:39:16
okay so where else do we enter it was
00:39:18
entering into the warmup field okay it's
00:39:22
Shelly andne Fraser price that's a
00:39:24
cluster like why wasn't she getting
00:39:27
escorted to the stadium in the first
00:39:29
place by Li limo she's an absolute Queen
00:39:32
at her last Olympic Games she is an
00:39:35
absolute Legend of woman sprinting and
00:39:38
this isn't to belittle any of the other
00:39:40
women's athletes but who the heck turns
00:39:42
around and disallowed shanne Fraser
00:39:44
price from entering the stadium to
00:39:46
compete in an olympic semi-final like
00:39:50
excuse my language but it's total
00:39:51
[ __ ] really um and she just didn't
00:39:54
have enough time to warm up properly so
00:39:55
she just pulled out and it's so
00:39:57
unfortunate um like I watched it live
00:40:00
obviously I was at home I was jet lagged
00:40:02
so it was easy for me to wake up at 4:00
00:40:04
a.m. um and yeah I just my jaw dropped
00:40:08
the what the hell's going on it's
00:40:10
outrageous it was outrageous it was
00:40:12
stupid like I don't know what who's in
00:40:15
charge or who was involved with that
00:40:18
rule change or that structure change but
00:40:20
they need to honestly look at themselves
00:40:21
in the mirror cuz they really just
00:40:24
disrupted what would have been an
00:40:27
unbelievable Olympic final I mean she
00:40:29
may not have won she may not have medled
00:40:31
but it wouldn't have mattered because it
00:40:33
was her last Olympic Games out of five
00:40:37
and she's meddled at all of them I think
00:40:40
um and she's World Championship multiple
00:40:43
times like let the woman race let the
00:40:46
let the girl in so it was unfortunate um
00:40:50
so she's definitely probably around do
00:40:52
family and friends to help go through
00:40:53
that process yeah hey thanks for sharing
00:40:55
all these Olympic experiences talking
00:40:57
about it yet or um I probably will be
00:41:00
eventually but at the moment no it's so
00:41:02
fresh and it's cool and like you said
00:41:05
before like there is a very very small
00:41:06
percentage of people on this planet that
00:41:08
will ever experience an Olympic games um
00:41:11
so to continue sharing the stories and
00:41:13
the experiences of it is really
00:41:14
important so people can actually hear
00:41:16
what we go through um at what is the
00:41:18
biggest sportting sporting event in the
00:41:20
world yeah absolutely all right let's go
00:41:22
all the way back so um so you're from
00:41:24
taneki from what I can gather um yeah
00:41:26
your de Dey Farm family rugby pedigree
00:41:29
your dad played a bit of rugby your mom
00:41:30
was a black Fon um you play a little bit
00:41:34
of rugby when you when you you're the
00:41:35
oldest right you got I'm the oldest
00:41:37
oldest yeah oldest of uh four kids uh
00:41:41
Christopher myself and then the twins
00:41:43
colen lamb all played rugby yep it was
00:41:45
our first sport at five as well as
00:41:47
Athletics at Clifton Rugby Club uh both
00:41:50
Mom and Dad played for Clifton as well
00:41:52
so yeah it was the first thing that Mom
00:41:54
and Dad did when we were able to was to
00:41:56
go and reg at the Clifton Rugby Club and
00:41:58
experience rugby yeah so so you play
00:42:00
rugby um then when it gets to sort of
00:42:02
tackle age you're smaller than all the
00:42:04
other kids so you switch to soccer
00:42:06
instead and then um and then sprinting
00:42:09
comes into the picture and then um
00:42:12
there's like a like a like a talent
00:42:13
search yeah um called go for gold y
00:42:17
absolutely started in 2012 right um so
00:42:20
you're how old then I was 16 yep so I
00:42:22
was year 12 at high school um initially
00:42:26
I was like oh yeah cool like go go do a
00:42:30
trial and the very first trial that we
00:42:31
did in the Niki was a beep test or a
00:42:34
yo-yo test one of the other um Sprint
00:42:36
test so 10 m 20 m 40 m Sprint and then
00:42:40
just basic fundamental skills so catch
00:42:42
and pass tackle breakdown stuff um real
00:42:45
basic stuff and then I think I'm going
00:42:47
to say roughly 40 50 necky girls of all
00:42:50
ages of all experiences um went to that
00:42:53
trial uh and then it got cut down to
00:42:56
about 20 to go to the next one in the
00:42:58
Nai and that one was where um Shan horen
00:43:01
who was the coach at the time came and
00:43:02
um watched that trial and from there he
00:43:04
picked his um his I guess you Squad
00:43:08
members and so it was myself Gail Bron
00:43:10
and Lauren bayin um and yeah so us three
00:43:13
nacky girls were the ones that trained
00:43:15
at home and um went to camps here and
00:43:18
there at this time Gil was 15 as well so
00:43:20
she's still a kid and I was I went to
00:43:23
the first um seven camp in Wu June 2012
00:43:27
and I was the youngest there and honey
00:43:30
Hy would have been I think it was either
00:43:31
honey or levinia gold who now plays for
00:43:34
the Broncos um were the oldest they were
00:43:37
I'm going to say late 20s 30 maybe um so
00:43:41
yeah there was just a wide variety of
00:43:44
talent age rugby experience and
00:43:47
everything um and so that was my sevens
00:43:50
Journey that's where it started in wudo
00:43:52
2012 so when that campaign's called go
00:43:54
for gold do you know that it's um about
00:43:56
to be introduced is an Olympic sport
00:43:58
well not really um initially I was just
00:44:01
cuz the way that Mom told me that I made
00:44:02
the squad was I didn't really think of
00:44:04
it too much as like oh I could go to the
00:44:06
Olympic Games it was oh I could try out
00:44:09
a new sport but she came into my room um
00:44:12
one night when she was in the process of
00:44:13
saying good night to all four kids she
00:44:15
comes into my room and I was like Mom do
00:44:17
you know if I made the squad or no and
00:44:19
she was
00:44:20
like okay you did but she was working at
00:44:22
the Rugby Union at the time the next
00:44:24
insed yeah so she got all the Insight
00:44:26
before me and so yeah you did but don't
00:44:29
tell anyone I was like H cool I like
00:44:32
okay sweet um and so at the initial
00:44:36
moment of trialing no I was like just
00:44:38
try out a new sport but the more camps I
00:44:41
went to and the more they talked about
00:44:43
it they more the more you know video
00:44:45
clips they showed we had Lisa Carrington
00:44:46
come in and talk um in one of our camps
00:44:49
I think it was 200 13 maybe um so the
00:44:54
more people that got involved into our
00:44:56
environment and our program the more I
00:44:58
realized oh okay this is actually quite
00:45:01
serious um but I was also at the time at
00:45:04
high school so the 2016 Olympic game
00:45:08
goal was unrealistic to me at the time I
00:45:11
was just super grateful to try a new
00:45:13
sport and play rugby in the weekends but
00:45:15
also play soccer at the same time um so
00:45:18
at that moment of time I wasn't too
00:45:20
serious on the goal it was just a matter
00:45:22
of getting used to the game of
00:45:24
sevens and then you so you find out
00:45:26
you're in the National him when you're
00:45:27
still at school what what's that that's
00:45:28
crazy it was crazy because all of a
00:45:30
sudden I went from your average high
00:45:33
school kid that was playing soccer in
00:45:34
the weekends uh to having to train
00:45:37
nearly every day before and after school
00:45:39
and it was a really fast transition for
00:45:41
me um especially because our team wasn't
00:45:44
full-time or professional but we were
00:45:46
treated like full-time professional
00:45:47
athletes so there was a training program
00:45:49
we had to follow uh all of a sudden
00:45:52
we're getting taught about you know
00:45:54
protein
00:45:55
supplements um batch testing so all of a
00:45:58
sudden we're now getting drug tested as
00:46:00
teenagers so we had to be wary of what
00:46:02
we were putting in our bodies um
00:46:05
understanding recovery some obviously
00:46:08
were starting to represent um New
00:46:10
Zealand in 2012 with oceas and then the
00:46:13
World Series kicked off in December 2012
00:46:16
for women so all of a sudden we were
00:46:18
chucked into a professional environment
00:46:20
without actually having that much
00:46:22
buildup to it um Plus for some of us
00:46:25
going to school or the ones that weren't
00:46:27
at school they were working um so it was
00:46:29
a real fast transition that we had to
00:46:32
get used to very very quickly if we
00:46:34
wanted to go to the Rio Olympic Games
00:46:37
and did for those early games did you
00:46:38
did you feel like you belonged there or
00:46:40
did you feel like an impostor or I felt
00:46:42
horribly lift out like uh as a and this
00:46:47
is going to sound potentially a little
00:46:48
bit weird but I was one of the very few
00:46:51
Parky hard girls in the squad um there
00:46:54
was myself Lauren up until 20 2 Cy braia
00:46:58
was another um frequent member as well
00:47:02
obviously and so I found it very hard to
00:47:05
fit into a culture that I was not used
00:47:07
to whatsoever and so I was so shy I
00:47:11
barely spoke to any I stuck to Gail's
00:47:13
hip so bad like she was the person that
00:47:15
I had to stick by Otherwise I didn't get
00:47:18
along with anyone and I was scared of
00:47:20
everyone and you know they are very
00:47:23
they're not intimidating women
00:47:24
whatsoever but they are very powerful
00:47:27
woman with presence um not only that but
00:47:30
they're strong people as well like Linda
00:47:32
iunu ridiculously strong running to her
00:47:35
shoulders and you're knocked out um the
00:47:37
very first Camp um I was doing a drill
00:47:39
with Ruby Tui and I was holding a tackle
00:47:42
shield and she just carried in like a
00:47:44
normal um drill but I fell on my ass and
00:47:47
sea yelled at me and I'm 16 like I'm a
00:47:49
kid learning a sport and so I started
00:47:51
crying and Lauren was just like come on
00:47:54
mg you're okay let's keep going I was
00:47:55
like okay like I was I felt so lonely in
00:47:59
every Camp I hate I loved coming home um
00:48:04
but it took me a long time to find my
00:48:06
place and my confidence in the squad
00:48:08
which is completely natural as someone
00:48:10
who was a
00:48:12
16-year-old um girl learning how to be a
00:48:15
professional athlete around these women
00:48:17
who had been either playing rugby for
00:48:20
quite a while or was a blackon um so
00:48:23
finding my place did take a little bit
00:48:25
but when I did I started to Blossom and
00:48:29
um I now feel like I'm one of those
00:48:32
leaders who just had to be their
00:48:35
authentic self um I'm definitely one of
00:48:37
the like most blunt honest ones in the
00:48:39
team uh but that took a long time to
00:48:42
find me as a human in a black friend
00:48:45
sens
00:48:46
environment yeah and I don't think
00:48:48
there's any any way to sort of FasTrack
00:48:49
that like um no definitely not you
00:48:51
weren't that person at 16 and also
00:48:54
people would be like who the [ __ ] is
00:48:55
this kid yeah literally everyone around
00:48:57
yeah literally yeah literally but the
00:49:00
funny the one moment that um cuz growing
00:49:03
up like I we might touch onto it but
00:49:05
obviously the body image thing was a
00:49:07
huge thing for me mentally I never
00:49:09
struggled to grow my shoulders like they
00:49:12
grew just like that when I was seven
00:49:14
from sprinting um and I was always
00:49:18
teased about it and so when I went to
00:49:20
one of the camps oh it still makes me go
00:49:23
like why um we went to this Camp it
00:49:26
would have been the the third or fourth
00:49:27
Camp it was quite warm and so um I had a
00:49:31
Singler on under like a normal training
00:49:33
top so I took on my training top had my
00:49:35
Singler on uh and Linda ionu who is one
00:49:38
of the just most impactful woman rugby
00:49:42
players in New Zealand um and she's
00:49:45
she's not little obviously she was a
00:49:47
number eight in her time uh and I took
00:49:49
my top off and she was like whoa
00:49:53
Michaela you've got quite big shoulders
00:49:55
for a little white and I was like oh
00:49:58
thanks and I just wanted to cry I was
00:50:00
just like man even in this environment
00:50:03
surrounded by professionals I still get
00:50:05
pointed out and it just made me feel
00:50:07
like [ __ ] like I I find it so funny now
00:50:10
and there was no way I was going to say
00:50:11
anything to bendy and if she does hear
00:50:14
this it's hilarious bendy I promise um
00:50:16
but yeah at the time I was just like
00:50:18
great cool so I chucked my shirt back on
00:50:20
and I just yeah I struggled so much with
00:50:24
trying to fit into an environment when
00:50:26
the whole point of being in that
00:50:27
environment was to be strong and it's
00:50:29
took a long time for me to get used to
00:50:31
well you you just embarrassed cuz you
00:50:32
look you look different or you were
00:50:33
self-conscious 100% both yeah you had
00:50:36
nickname say like the whole can
00:50:37
Terminator yeah I got teased so bad as a
00:50:40
kid um and it it was it just absolutely
00:50:45
destroyed my confidence growing up so um
00:50:48
when I was writing SL when the author
00:50:50
was writing my book strike hard I was in
00:50:54
the middle of therapy sessions
00:50:57
um trying to find a way to love myself
00:51:00
again uh cuz for so long as a young girl
00:51:04
growing up having strong shoulders was
00:51:07
frowned upon like it wasn't something
00:51:09
that people admired it was something
00:51:10
that you were teased about and I
00:51:12
couldn't help it like I generally just
00:51:14
did Athletics for so long and obviously
00:51:16
sprinting develops strength in your
00:51:18
shoulders and um and then as I started
00:51:21
playing rugby they obviously have to
00:51:22
grow cuz you got to get through contact
00:51:25
um and so it took a long time for me to
00:51:28
accept it like if you are if you if I
00:51:30
was sitting here 12 months ago I
00:51:32
wouldn't wear this shirt like there was
00:51:33
just nothing that I would do that would
00:51:35
showcase any strength I would hide it
00:51:38
like baggy clothes BG clothes sweatshirt
00:51:41
100% yeah it took a long time for me to
00:51:44
truly go out and wear stuff that
00:51:47
potentially showcase my strength and so
00:51:49
that's why I loved your podcast with
00:51:51
Lisa Carrington because she's an she's
00:51:54
strong man like oh
00:51:57
you can't help but admire it and so she
00:51:59
obviously talks about it every now and
00:52:01
then and I remember this one um doco or
00:52:04
it might have been this podcast can't
00:52:05
remember but she said if you know being
00:52:08
a champion makes me look like this I
00:52:10
love it I was like oh yes I'm an Olympic
00:52:13
gold medal Champion twice and I look
00:52:15
like this yes and you should be proud
00:52:18
too like it's a it's a it's a high
00:52:20
performing functioning body it is yeah
00:52:23
the the fact that it took so long for me
00:52:25
to be like I need need this body to be
00:52:28
able to run fast tackle hard fend people
00:52:31
in the face to get back up again and if
00:52:33
if I got smashed and a tackle like if it
00:52:35
weren't for that I would have struggled
00:52:37
big time um so now I'm in a place where
00:52:40
I'm so thankful for what my body can do
00:52:42
because every single muscle in my body
00:52:46
has a purpose when I run out onto that R
00:52:48
field and I think that's so strong and
00:52:50
so powerful to to have that strength um
00:52:54
when we play such a brutal sport yeah
00:52:57
I'm so pleased you found you found peace
00:52:59
with it but I'm I'm alarmed that a long
00:53:01
time I'm alarmed that it was it's only
00:53:03
been like the past year literally yeah
00:53:05
and my therapist um when I first spoke
00:53:08
to her I was just in tears cuz I I
00:53:11
wanted to be able to love myself for how
00:53:14
I looked I wanted to stop looking in a
00:53:17
mirror and thinking damn I wish I didn't
00:53:19
have these shoulders or oh you can see
00:53:22
my biceps I'm going to put a shirt on or
00:53:23
whatever um it's different in the gym
00:53:26
like when I'm in the gym I'm wearing a
00:53:28
Singler I'm with my teammates everyone's
00:53:30
doing the same thing like in that
00:53:32
environment it's different outside of it
00:53:35
when I'm not around my teammates or I'm
00:53:38
at a social media event or a public
00:53:40
event or whatever that's where I went
00:53:42
into my shell um and don't want to wear
00:53:45
anything revealing or you know outlining
00:53:49
my arms or anything like that so it's
00:53:52
taken a good solid 27 years to accept
00:53:56
that for how I look so the uh therapy is
00:53:58
that like a a sports therapist or just y
00:54:01
so she specializes in um body image body
00:54:05
dysmorphia Eating Disorders ex like that
00:54:07
sort of Avenue um she's she's not really
00:54:10
sporty at all which was great I've been
00:54:12
surrounded by sport s since I was 16 and
00:54:15
so that's all I knew and was used to
00:54:17
talking to but talking to someone who
00:54:19
had no idea what rugby was really was so
00:54:22
refreshing um and she looked at me as
00:54:25
just Michaela the human being that
00:54:27
needed help and so that was really
00:54:31
comforting for me and it instantly made
00:54:33
me feel so comfortable talking to her it
00:54:35
was always through Zoom um but it made
00:54:37
me feel so comfortable talking to her
00:54:39
about my private life because she was
00:54:42
never going to compare it to my Rugby
00:54:44
life it was just me as a human being and
00:54:46
she wanted to help me as a human being
00:54:49
and so yeah it it took a year of therapy
00:54:51
sessions but um I'm so glad I did them
00:54:55
cuz now I've just this new bright
00:54:58
confidence um that I don't think people
00:55:01
anyone would be able to knock down at
00:55:02
the
00:55:03
moment really [ __ ] you're unstoppable it
00:55:07
could come across as a little bit of
00:55:08
arrogance but two gold medals I think
00:55:11
you've earned the right to be a little
00:55:13
bit arrogant like I'll always you know
00:55:15
I'll always keep my humility there but
00:55:17
if I I can't hide the who I am I I want
00:55:21
to be my authentic self and and if that
00:55:24
means wearing shirts like this then I'm
00:55:25
happy to do that M yeah were there any
00:55:28
um like aha moments from that therapy or
00:55:30
you know like key takeaways that spring
00:55:32
to mind that you could pass on to anyone
00:55:33
that's listening to this that are
00:55:34
self-conscious about aspects of their
00:55:36
own body that's a lot of selft talk um
00:55:38
for me I constantly put myself down
00:55:41
constantly put myself down and and so
00:55:44
mentally in my brain all the time it was
00:55:46
no your shoulders are tub you need to
00:55:48
cover that or um you look too strong you
00:55:51
need to wear a jacket so I was
00:55:53
constantly in my head like this rotating
00:55:55
all the time so then the tool for me
00:55:59
that worked heaps was selft talk and so
00:56:01
looking in a mirror and just saying to
00:56:03
myself man you look good or I look
00:56:07
beautiful today or Michaela you look
00:56:09
amazing like just constantly giving
00:56:11
myself that um positive
00:56:14
reinforcement uh automatically your body
00:56:17
start and your mind starts to believe in
00:56:19
these sort of things the mind is
00:56:20
ridiculous when it comes to professional
00:56:22
sport it loves to put self-doubt in your
00:56:24
brain it loves to put you down and so by
00:56:26
Def by trying to fight that by putting
00:56:29
positiveness in my brain um really
00:56:31
helped me see myself in that positive
00:56:34
light rather than putting on a mask and
00:56:37
just laughing off when someone commented
00:56:39
about my shoulders now I'm like yeah I
00:56:41
am strong or yeah I do have big
00:56:42
shoulders but I can also tackle people
00:56:45
um and I can run fast and I can do
00:56:48
really cool things on the Rugby field um
00:56:50
and in the gym so yeah it's just
00:56:53
constant selft talk that helped me stay
00:56:56
as positive as I could possibly be do
00:56:58
you what happens do you sort of catch
00:57:00
yourself every now and then like with
00:57:01
negative negative in a voice yeah
00:57:04
definitely Y and then what you just um
00:57:06
try and sort of yeah just try and talk
00:57:08
myself out of it um whether it's just
00:57:11
reminding myself yeah but look at what
00:57:13
you've got um or yeah but look at your
00:57:15
job or the people that love you um
00:57:18
someone who has just been an incredible
00:57:20
rock for me has been Michael um he's
00:57:23
just been constantly reminding me like
00:57:25
you're beautiful no matter what you look
00:57:27
like um and I don't need to kind of I
00:57:33
don't need to have book shoulders or I
00:57:35
don't need to have whatever to be who I
00:57:38
am like who I am as a human being is far
00:57:40
more important um and so I kept
00:57:43
reminding myself that as well but yeah I
00:57:46
have definitely gone into moments where
00:57:48
I've been like oh man like it that was a
00:57:50
comment today um and I've told Michael
00:57:54
and I've had my tears and then moved on
00:57:55
from it so um there is still processes
00:57:58
in place that I have to remind myself
00:58:00
about with uh but yeah it's it's put me
00:58:03
in such a different light um and it
00:58:08
definitely led to me
00:58:10
respecting um who I am as an athlete and
00:58:13
who I am as a human being far more than
00:58:15
what I used to even a year ago yeah
00:58:19
thanks for opening up about that stuff
00:58:20
it's good it's really cool yeah um you
00:58:23
had um Mee C on the um the podcast as
00:58:25
well
00:58:27
cricketer of like just you know an
00:58:30
absolute bully to herself with voice and
00:58:33
it's hard I suppose it with with what
00:58:34
you with what she does and what you do
00:58:36
like you you don't want to give yourself
00:58:37
a free pass and go too easy on yourself
00:58:39
but then it's not helpful eh to kick
00:58:42
your own ass every minute of the day no
00:58:44
especially because both here and I are
00:58:46
in a very professional environment like
00:58:48
when she just suddenly was huge on the
00:58:51
internet after what she did in her
00:58:53
Cricket days um we exactly the same you
00:58:56
know we're constantly in a high
00:58:58
performance
00:58:59
environment uh fighting to be selected
00:59:03
in a team to play for our country uh and
00:59:06
so it's such a Cutthroat environment
00:59:10
that we're in so it's important that we
00:59:12
have to love ourselves and to give
00:59:14
oursel that love and that time to just
00:59:18
uh like release ourselves whatever um
00:59:21
because the world that we live in is
00:59:24
Harsh uh but that's what we sign up for
00:59:26
being rugby players and um so yeah it's
00:59:30
important that we have that time to to
00:59:32
look at ourselves and love ourselves and
00:59:35
still have that time to you know if we
00:59:37
need to be negative you know go be
00:59:40
negative but come back to um who you are
00:59:43
as a human who you are as a person um so
00:59:46
yeah it's taken a long time to to
00:59:49
perfect that process um but yeah it's
00:59:52
probably an ongoing work in progress
00:59:54
100% yeah there's always new challenges
00:59:56
that come upon us um now being obviously
01:00:00
more in the spotlight uh and being on TV
01:00:03
all the time so you know there's there's
01:00:06
that pressure as well that external
01:00:07
pressure of trying to impress people
01:00:10
when we actually don't need to um but
01:00:12
just to perform for our country we've
01:00:14
got the whole country on our shoulders
01:00:16
expecting us to perform really really
01:00:17
well so yes it's hard you you guys um
01:00:21
yeah you guys have done so well like I I
01:00:24
remember like when I was younger like
01:00:25
the the men's seven seven te was always
01:00:27
a big deal it felt like it was a feeder
01:00:29
for the All Blacks in a way defin you
01:00:30
know the training ground for like Jonah
01:00:33
and Cali um andert name here sort of
01:00:36
thing now I couldn't name any of the
01:00:38
guys but I can name so many of the
01:00:39
female team yeah you guys have done that
01:00:42
yeah no we um we set a goal years ago uh
01:00:46
to obviously establish ourselves as one
01:00:47
of the greatest teams in the world uh I
01:00:50
think we've done that I truly do um if
01:00:53
we look at an Olympic Games for example
01:00:56
we have only lost one game in our whole
01:00:59
Olympic campaign and that was the final
01:01:01
obviously in Rio to Australia otherwise
01:01:03
we've won every single game and so we
01:01:07
have to celebrate that we have to put
01:01:09
that out for the people to hear to hear
01:01:12
how successful we are but it obviously
01:01:15
doesn't come easy we've worked so hard
01:01:18
um for the successes that we have
01:01:20
whether it is Olympic Games or
01:01:21
commonwealths or World Cups or World
01:01:23
Series and you know that's hard it's so
01:01:27
hard um but a lot of people obviously
01:01:30
see the glorified version of it they see
01:01:32
us having fun on the Rugby field or they
01:01:35
see on social media the sponsorships
01:01:37
that we get um the opportunities of
01:01:40
traveling the world but on the outside
01:01:44
mentally and physically it is such a
01:01:47
tough job and you've got to be able to
01:01:50
handle it um because it's just so not
01:01:53
easy for any sport in general to be
01:01:56
honest for high performance sport um but
01:01:59
yeah it's it's a type of job where if
01:02:02
you if you can't handle it it will make
01:02:05
you crumble um as honest as I can
01:02:08
possibly be there so yeah there's um
01:02:11
there's the love for the game but
01:02:13
there's also the love of wanting to do
01:02:14
your country and your family and
01:02:15
yourself proud while wearing the black
01:02:17
juicy and that's a lot of pressure a lot
01:02:20
of pressure yeah yeah these are some of
01:02:22
the some of the points that you brought
01:02:23
up in your email to me that you wanted
01:02:25
to discuss um yeah the constant pressure
01:02:27
of representing the country is that what
01:02:28
you're talking about definitely yep um
01:02:31
must be all consuming at times it can be
01:02:33
yeah absolutely and I think that's why
01:02:35
um at the moment like I'm on such a good
01:02:38
mental and emotional break from rugby um
01:02:41
as soon as we won Gold um and I'll touch
01:02:45
on it as well with my um Journal writing
01:02:47
as soon as we won Gold and done our
01:02:50
medal ceremony I went over to Michael
01:02:52
and I gave him a hug and I whispered
01:02:54
into his ear I don't want to do this
01:02:56
again like it was just so tiring when
01:03:00
you are constantly thinking about the
01:03:02
same goal which was obviously to win
01:03:03
gold um it is time consuming it is
01:03:07
mentally
01:03:08
consuming it just becomes the be all and
01:03:11
Endor like and although it's not like it
01:03:15
doesn't Define who you are as a human
01:03:17
being but for so long it is prioritized
01:03:20
that anything less than gold for us was
01:03:22
disappointing 100% we would have cried
01:03:24
if we were candidate or USA right now we
01:03:26
would not be celebrating the way that
01:03:28
they are right now um it's just the
01:03:31
standards that we have for wearing a
01:03:33
black juy and I think that's the other
01:03:34
thing as well is as naturally being a
01:03:37
black juy representative in New Zealand
01:03:40
we are always going to be naturally
01:03:41
expected to win it's the same for the
01:03:43
All Blacks the same for the black F even
01:03:45
the all black sevens actually even The
01:03:48
Moldy All Blacks like if you are wearing
01:03:50
a black juicy for New Zealand you have a
01:03:52
natural expectation from your country to
01:03:54
win because it's our nation sport um
01:03:57
it's probably the same for USA
01:03:59
basketball or you know ice hockey or
01:04:02
whatever in Canada like it is our sport
01:04:04
it is our country that um has put rugby
01:04:08
on the map and we're so tiny we're such
01:04:10
a small country and so we want to do New
01:04:12
Zealand Proud by winning all the time
01:04:14
but when we don't it's it's actually
01:04:16
really hard to deal with yeah the weight
01:04:19
of expectation is huge if you if you
01:04:20
guys don't win gold it's almost like
01:04:21
you've choked exactly exactly and and
01:04:24
people start to judge and people start
01:04:26
to think that they're the next Black FR
01:04:28
s's coach and they start to select us
01:04:31
and on the couch at home and it's
01:04:33
actually like it's all social media crap
01:04:35
but it is actually quite confronting
01:04:38
when you see things on social media
01:04:40
saying oh no she's well done your time
01:04:42
she needs to be dropped bring in this
01:04:44
person what's the coach doing why did
01:04:46
they do this um when they've got no idea
01:04:49
what our environment is like and the
01:04:52
natural pressure that we have of winning
01:04:55
um so yeah it is cons it's just it's
01:04:58
really exhausting to be honest um but on
01:05:02
the flip side it is so enjoyable being a
01:05:05
part of an environment that is super
01:05:07
successful um and winning back toback
01:05:09
gold it is a very very good
01:05:12
feeling very good feeling um are you are
01:05:14
you good at um blocking out that noise
01:05:16
and ignoring the Social Media stuff or
01:05:18
um does it depending what mood you're in
01:05:20
when you read
01:05:22
it uh I wasn't like a probably the
01:05:26
Social Media stuff started a little bit
01:05:28
more when I won World rugby player of
01:05:31
the year the first time because all of a
01:05:33
sudden I had a name in World rugby and I
01:05:36
had a reputation and so naturally I had
01:05:39
the pressure in my own head okay I've
01:05:41
just won World rugby woman sens player
01:05:43
of the year that means I have to be the
01:05:45
best rugby player on the field all the
01:05:47
time um that means I have to score three
01:05:49
tries in every game that means I have to
01:05:51
win every tournament every time we play
01:05:54
so that's what I was was putting through
01:05:56
my own head so when I made mistakes uh
01:05:59
which I did literally straight after
01:06:01
winning that award the first time in
01:06:02
Dubai we got fifth because I made a
01:06:04
mistake
01:06:05
essentially um all of a sudden I went
01:06:08
into a really dumb hole of yeah that was
01:06:11
your fault or you're you're already
01:06:14
blowing your reputation and then the
01:06:16
funny thing was that N9 months later I
01:06:17
won it again so it was a stupid stupid
01:06:20
process that I put my head through but
01:06:22
initially yes um but because I was
01:06:25
starting to be on social media more I
01:06:27
was featured in highlights more I was
01:06:29
playing more so um my name was getting
01:06:32
out there nowadays not at all not at all
01:06:36
um I know who I am as a rugby player I
01:06:39
know my strength and I know my place in
01:06:41
this team uh it took a long time to get
01:06:44
to that point but um I the one thing I
01:06:48
hope is that for all of the members of
01:06:49
our team all of my sisters um to have
01:06:52
that same feeling of belonging in this
01:06:55
team um I know my belonging but again it
01:06:58
took so long to get to that point um and
01:07:01
so Social Media stuff for me does make
01:07:04
no it's no impact for me whatsoever it
01:07:07
annoys me when I see people comment
01:07:08
about my own teammates like that's what
01:07:10
actually makes me most mad is when
01:07:12
people comment about my other teammates
01:07:14
and I'm like you don't even know who
01:07:16
these humans are like what gives you the
01:07:18
right to tell them that they average
01:07:19
rugby players actual shush your lips
01:07:22
shush your lips go to work
01:07:28
stop stop embarrassing yourself like you
01:07:31
actually look like a fool oh oh that's
01:07:34
hilarious it's so true though but it's
01:07:37
yeah it's annoying it's irritating he it
01:07:38
is um oh another thing you sent in your
01:07:40
email you want to about the um
01:07:42
selfishness of training as a high
01:07:43
performance athlete yeah um yeah this
01:07:45
must have been
01:07:47
um oh so so you and Michael you got
01:07:50
together after the Tokyo Olympics we
01:07:53
were seeing each other pre it okay um
01:07:56
and then our second date was in April
01:07:59
2021 right um and we both said at this
01:08:02
time Michael actually hadn't qualified
01:08:04
for Tokyo so his rowing eight crew still
01:08:06
needed to go to Switzerland to go to the
01:08:10
um to the last regetta to qualify their
01:08:12
boat for Tokyo so he was going through
01:08:15
that process I was going through
01:08:17
obviously middle of the season um about
01:08:19
to leave to go to Australia for a month
01:08:21
to train there to hopefully get selected
01:08:24
for Tokyo so his his place or his
01:08:27
process was a little bit different to
01:08:29
mine um but we both said to each other
01:08:32
then um we have to get a gold medal
01:08:35
first then we can pursue this we saw
01:08:37
each other a few times after that but it
01:08:40
wasn't it wasn't essentially exclusive
01:08:43
um he had to keep our relationship for
01:08:45
as a secret for a little bit because the
01:08:47
rowing bubble um had done their own
01:08:51
personal bubble which meant they
01:08:53
couldn't leave Cambridge um they
01:08:55
literally could only go to the training
01:08:56
field to their own home and even if they
01:08:59
went to the supermarket like they had to
01:09:01
do online shopping um because they still
01:09:04
needed to qualify their boat so they
01:09:05
couldn't afford to get sick genuinely
01:09:07
couldn't afford to be sick uh when they
01:09:09
were doing miq before going to
01:09:12
Tokyo um and so I was the one going to
01:09:16
Cambridge and I always made sure that I
01:09:19
was healthy cuz if I bought something to
01:09:22
Cambridge and gave it to Michael and
01:09:24
then he gave it to a squad that's that's
01:09:26
me gone like I needed to rewipe my will
01:09:29
cuz it would have been horrendous um so
01:09:32
yeah we had to keep it a secret for a
01:09:34
little bit uh and so we got to Tokyo we
01:09:38
hadn't seen each other for a couple
01:09:39
months and so it was like we had to stay
01:09:41
this distance as well when we saw each
01:09:43
other in Tokyo but yeah we had to put
01:09:45
our performance first before pursuing
01:09:48
our relationship so when we both won
01:09:50
Gold which was absolutely bizarre cuz we
01:09:53
literally said to each other let's go
01:09:54
win gold first then we can start you
01:09:56
know being in a relationship so we did
01:09:58
was like sweet did you when you came
01:09:59
back to New Zealand after that did you
01:10:00
do mq together no no not together um we
01:10:04
were in separate rooms which was
01:10:05
probably a good thing and then I went to
01:10:09
Cambridge as soon as we got back from um
01:10:13
miq and I drove to Cambridge and then
01:10:15
literally the next day we had lockdown
01:10:17
so essentially we did imq together in
01:10:20
his house in Cambridge so we we we'd
01:10:22
only been official uh for like two weeks
01:10:25
and then we lived with each other for 3
01:10:26
weeks so we just chucked our
01:10:28
relationship right in the deep in and
01:10:29
see if it survived and it did now we're
01:10:31
getting married so it obviously went
01:10:32
okay would have been an appalling idea
01:10:35
right that early stage of the
01:10:36
relationship y definitely um yeah well I
01:10:39
suppose he he's in an interesting
01:10:40
position you know getting back to this
01:10:42
um selfishness of training as a high
01:10:43
performance athlete thing because um uh
01:10:46
he's he's no longer doing it um but he
01:10:48
must have an understanding or an
01:10:50
appreciation of exactly what goes into
01:10:51
it definitely um having someone in my
01:10:55
bubble I guess going back to co but um
01:10:59
so having someone in my corner who
01:11:01
completely understands the
01:11:03
discipline um I don't want to use the
01:11:05
word sacrifice cuz we make a lot of hard
01:11:07
choices but sacrifice is quite a strong
01:11:10
word and I don't like using it but we
01:11:12
make a lot of hard choices um to put our
01:11:15
sport first and it's important that in
01:11:18
this day and age especially as a female
01:11:20
rugby player that we make the most out
01:11:23
of what we get given um because is when
01:11:26
I move on from
01:11:28
rugby this is what I'm assuming when I
01:11:31
move on from rugby the lifestyle I live
01:11:33
will not be extravagant as what it is
01:11:35
right now and so I'm going to make the
01:11:37
most of every opportunity that I get
01:11:39
given and he's extremely supported of
01:11:41
that and he will always make sure that
01:11:44
he is there for me um whether it is you
01:11:48
know a shoulder to cry on or an ear to
01:11:50
listen to Because when it comes to the
01:11:53
stress of training and Performing he
01:11:55
know knows exactly what it feels like um
01:11:58
and so I'm very fortunate to have
01:11:59
someone like him to support me in that
01:12:02
way I'm also more fortunate to have him
01:12:05
in my corner because he retired straight
01:12:07
after Tokyo and so he's now going
01:12:09
through a really cool process of after
01:12:12
sport life and I'm going to have to go
01:12:14
through the same thing so when I retire
01:12:17
he's going to be not essentially U my
01:12:20
coach but he'll be my number one
01:12:22
supporter that will be like right let's
01:12:23
do this together cuz mentally it's going
01:12:25
to be a train wreck probably that's what
01:12:28
I'm assuming anyway so um you it's such
01:12:30
a big part of your life for so many
01:12:31
years huge yes it's defined your entire
01:12:34
20s exactly yeah like i' I don't know
01:12:36
any different I went from school to
01:12:41
essentially being a full-time athlete
01:12:42
without getting paid as one while also
01:12:45
milking the cows cuz I needed to earn
01:12:47
money um to then living in toonga and
01:12:50
only doing rugby I never went to UNI I
01:12:53
tried uni distance learning but I sucked
01:12:56
um I've never had any other job this is
01:12:58
essentially my very first full-time job
01:13:01
and so it's going to be the same for
01:13:03
someone like Georgia or manah nooku
01:13:06
mahina Paul who literally was contracted
01:13:09
straight after school so yeah it's going
01:13:11
to be important for when I retire
01:13:13
whenever that may be um that Michael's
01:13:15
going to be there to guide me on this
01:13:18
mental Journey so he's going through it
01:13:21
at the moment and he's just oh God I'm
01:13:24
so proud to call him my future husband
01:13:25
cuz he's just absolutely smashed it he's
01:13:27
had his obstacles and he's had his
01:13:30
challenges um but he's predominantly
01:13:32
done it by himself uh and if it was
01:13:35
anyone else you know they would have
01:13:37
absolutely crumbled so yeah I'm going to
01:13:40
definitely need him when I retire
01:13:42
because it's going to be a different
01:13:44
mindset that I'm going to have to change
01:13:46
from being a high performance athlete to
01:13:48
being a Nori a civilian civilian yeah
01:13:51
yeah you those ear points will last you
01:13:54
for a few years I know
01:13:55
I'm not traveling anywhere after r b cuz
01:13:57
I won't be able to afford business class
01:13:59
so I'm soaking it up while I can by the
01:14:01
way by the way short people like you in
01:14:03
business class make me sick I know I'm
01:14:04
so sorry I honestly feel bad sometime no
01:14:07
but what makes me what annoys me oh is
01:14:10
when I see like a 2-year-old in business
01:14:12
class outage I'm like you don't even
01:14:14
respect this like get to economy now
01:14:18
like oh when I see little kids in
01:14:20
business class that's what IRS me but
01:14:23
you know they obvious in a very
01:14:25
privileged position so good on them but
01:14:27
I can tell you now our future kids ain't
01:14:29
sitting in business class they can earn
01:14:32
that you couldn't even get can you even
01:14:34
get your feet on the New Zealand Automan
01:14:36
um
01:14:36
no sometimes sometimes I'm sitting in my
01:14:39
chair and I'm like this but yeah like
01:14:41
for someone like Michael he's
01:14:43
6'2 and when he he's like his knees are
01:14:46
up against the I feel so bad I feel so
01:14:49
bad for that but it's my life so it's my
01:14:53
career choice I'm going to accept it
01:14:55
while I can yeah now you you um
01:14:58
mentioned the um the r word before
01:15:00
retirement um I listened to a podcast um
01:15:03
that you did way back in August
01:15:04
2018 um and this is a quote from that
01:15:07
podcast um so what's that six years ago
01:15:09
six years ago how old are you now I
01:15:11
would have been 22 22 okay so this is um
01:15:14
Michaela BL at 22 if I make it to the
01:15:17
Paris Olympics and I'm still in the
01:15:19
sevens team at the age of 28 that would
01:15:21
be my dream so that that was uh you at
01:15:24
22 in August 2018 that was that was you
01:15:26
putting a Line in the Sand wow now this
01:15:28
is where we are like Loki makes me
01:15:30
emotional I don't know why holy [ __ ]
01:15:33
yeah
01:15:35
um I don't know why that's making me
01:15:37
emotional but I think it's just cuz I'm
01:15:40
so proud like there's so many things
01:15:43
that I said when I was a kid that I
01:15:46
wanted to do and there's so many things
01:15:47
that I've put on paper and I've manifest
01:15:49
and it's happened and so like knowing
01:15:52
that at 22
01:15:55
that was what I was dreaming of like
01:15:57
this hadn't even happened yet so I was
01:15:59
thinking so far ahead and I think I'm
01:16:02
just so proud that I'm someone who when
01:16:04
I set a goal I will make sure that no
01:16:06
one gets in my way to achieve that so
01:16:10
yeah that sounds weird and in so many
01:16:12
ways knowing that I said that but
01:16:15
um I've still got more to give I
01:16:18
definitely have more to give yeah um
01:16:20
it's quite funny when when you're 22 28
01:16:22
seems very old yeah you get to 28 and
01:16:25
you realize okay yeah do you know what
01:16:27
it would have been
01:16:28
because I've been in this team since I
01:16:31
was 16 and so the idea of being in this
01:16:35
team 12 years later from when I was 16
01:16:37
would have been bizarre like it would
01:16:39
have been unrealistic in my eyes um but
01:16:43
yeah now that I've hit that point um I
01:16:48
definitely have more to give not right
01:16:50
now um I'm not today not today I'm so
01:16:55
like I'm so mentally and emotionally
01:16:58
exhausted from rugby right now and my
01:17:01
coach he's just oh he's a gy I've known
01:17:03
Corey for so so long and he's been in my
01:17:05
corner and had my back for so long when
01:17:08
I was constantly not selected from 2014
01:17:11
to 2016 like he was the first person
01:17:14
that said you've got this um and he's
01:17:18
given me a good period of time for me to
01:17:21
just step
01:17:22
back um and so I'm going to take that
01:17:26
time to just be Michaela blide and plan
01:17:29
a wedding cuz I'm so excited to get
01:17:31
married can't wait to Mary
01:17:33
Michael like he's just changed my life
01:17:37
massively and it's so weird because like
01:17:40
as a little girl for special I don't
01:17:43
know why I think it was because I had
01:17:44
three brothers and so like as a little
01:17:47
girl I was that person that was like oh
01:17:49
who am I going to marry or what's my
01:17:51
last name going to be and I know that
01:17:54
now and it's such a weird feeling like
01:17:56
it's a when you know you know kind of
01:17:58
feeling but um he's just been such a
01:18:02
huge rock for me since Tokyo cuz I went
01:18:06
through so many after Tokyo I was like
01:18:09
dead set on this being my last
01:18:11
tournament I was like no that will be my
01:18:12
last one but now that it's happened I
01:18:16
know mentally and emotionally that I
01:18:18
can't give anymore right now to rugby
01:18:21
but I will give back when I can and how
01:18:24
I can through this um through social
01:18:27
media um through talking about our
01:18:29
stories but also by being present with
01:18:32
the people that I love most um because
01:18:36
that way when I go back to rugby um and
01:18:39
I have a new last name I'm going to give
01:18:41
my all I'm someone that when I'm there I
01:18:44
am 110% all in I'm not half assing
01:18:48
anything so I need to rebuild that
01:18:50
energy and refill my cup to then go back
01:18:52
into the environment to be annoying Mani
01:18:56
who's trying to beat everyone even
01:18:58
though everyone's my teammate how um hey
01:19:01
thanks for thanks for um sharing that
01:19:03
and being so open about it I think it's
01:19:05
that quote it's it's really [ __ ] cool
01:19:07
you've done it I know that's so weird
01:19:10
you've done those things those things um
01:19:14
yes so how long of a break are you
01:19:15
planning on having um I've given myself
01:19:19
until the middle of October to go back
01:19:21
to rugby uh it could be longer um are
01:19:25
you are you kidding me I I was thinking
01:19:26
like a year two years like a month or
01:19:29
two yeah I'm talking about like 10 weeks
01:19:31
but I've I've been given longer but I
01:19:34
just I know I the thing is with our
01:19:37
leave um the thing is with our leave is
01:19:40
that we get given 6 weeks but by like
01:19:42
week three we have to start doing stuff
01:19:45
and I was like hell no I've done this
01:19:47
for 12 years like I don't need that so
01:19:50
um I'm probably not going to start doing
01:19:53
any sort of proper training on till
01:19:55
October November um because I want to go
01:19:58
into this I've I'm sick of having random
01:20:01
niggles like my toe hurts my foot hurts
01:20:04
my hammies are got like I got cramp in
01:20:07
my hamstring a week ago and I had Doms
01:20:09
from that cramp for like a week like I
01:20:12
just need to rest my body um and so when
01:20:15
I go into pre-season whenever that may
01:20:17
be I want to just rebuild my strength
01:20:20
and my speed from from literally square
01:20:23
one so but when it comes to next season
01:20:26
um I'm as strong as I possibly can be um
01:20:29
because I don't want to be that athlete
01:20:32
um like I want to earn my right back in
01:20:33
the team I want to earn my selection cuz
01:20:36
that's all I'm used to um and that's all
01:20:38
I know so I don't want to go back into
01:20:40
the environment and be like hey I'm back
01:20:43
like I I've got no cemented role in the
01:20:47
team um I know my place in the squad but
01:20:50
I've still got a trial so I don't want
01:20:52
to come into the um environment and just
01:20:55
expect to be selected straight away like
01:20:56
I want to earn my right to be selected
01:20:58
again um so that's probably going to be
01:21:01
my mindset from November is this year
01:21:04
onwards and then you you've got the
01:21:06
wedding next year what about um kids
01:21:08
have you guys discussed kids you want
01:21:09
Absolut yep no it's a uh I won't go too
01:21:13
deep on it but yeah it is a touchy
01:21:15
subject um is that why it is um I think
01:21:18
because Michael's in a place where he is
01:21:22
ready for kids um I'm totally as well
01:21:25
but I also have I'm in a place where I'm
01:21:29
I'm in a very privileged position with
01:21:31
rugby um and I I want to make the most
01:21:36
of representing my country um I want to
01:21:40
make the most of the support that we get
01:21:42
given financially and so when I go I'm
01:21:45
the type of person who has seen every
01:21:48
stage of Parenthood when I first made
01:21:51
the team in 2016 Kyla wher just gave
01:21:53
birth so she was in our environment and
01:21:56
breastfeeding so she had to like leave
01:21:57
training to go and breastfeed her first
01:22:00
son um I've also seen KY braia whose
01:22:03
wife has given birth to two lovely boys
01:22:06
but I've seen her come into the
01:22:07
environment exhausted and she wasn't
01:22:09
even one that gave birth she was tired
01:22:12
and everything I've also seen uh dice
01:22:15
Folia funger uh who's got beautiful twin
01:22:19
boys um go from giving birth at a young
01:22:23
age of 21 or 22 to then fighting for her
01:22:26
position back in the squad and it is
01:22:29
hard it is so so hard and so selfishly I
01:22:34
want to make sure I don't want to have
01:22:36
kids and come back to rugby I've set
01:22:38
that in concrete like if I have kids
01:22:40
that's me done with rugby because I want
01:22:42
to 100%
01:22:44
wholeheartedly give my love care and
01:22:46
attention to my kids um I want to be
01:22:49
their Hands-On I've seen NY Williams
01:22:51
even miss her kid's birthday so many
01:22:54
times
01:22:54
and it sucks like I've seen her upset
01:22:57
because she wants to be there for her
01:22:58
daughter's first day of school but she
01:23:00
couldn't because she was off playing
01:23:01
rugby um and so while I'm in this
01:23:05
position I'm going to give all I can to
01:23:08
rugby um so then when I go away from
01:23:11
rugby I don't have the urge to want to
01:23:13
come back that's the feeling I want to
01:23:16
avoid I I want to give everything so I
01:23:18
can park it and go on to the next phase
01:23:21
of life so yeah kids are 100% um in the
01:23:25
convo um but we've both we both um have
01:23:31
set that it's going to be um when I know
01:23:34
that I'm 100% ready to be a mom so
01:23:38
Michael if you're watching this um went
01:23:40
until after the LA games in four years
01:23:42
or actually you only be 32 you like you
01:23:46
could re oh I can tell you this now
01:23:50
uh I think Paris will be my last one I'm
01:23:54
I'm almost oh last Olympics really not
01:23:57
thinking about La no not at all um
01:24:00
reason being is that one I want to I
01:24:04
want to be a mom uh I don't and this
01:24:07
isn't to to go against any athlete who's
01:24:09
done it differently everyone's got their
01:24:11
own journey and their own way of doing
01:24:12
things but I don't want to be having my
01:24:14
first kid at 30 that could be the case
01:24:17
naturally like you know the way of life
01:24:20
um but I I still want to go away from
01:24:26
rugby in a really good physical position
01:24:29
um with a you know I don't want to be
01:24:31
broken or anything like that so uh Paris
01:24:36
was exhausting but it was so rewarding I
01:24:38
loved it so much
01:24:40
and two for me is more than enough um
01:24:45
and so obviously I'm contracted till
01:24:48
2026 and the reason is is because um
01:24:51
stubbornly I don't want to end my career
01:24:54
on a com games bronze and a World Cup
01:24:56
silver because that just irks me so much
01:24:59
um so if com games happens uh if it
01:25:03
doesn't then it is what it is but yeah
01:25:06
uh
01:25:07
2026 I will absolutely put my all up
01:25:11
until then and then reassess bear in
01:25:14
mind um Coastal rowing is in the
01:25:17
background and is at the la28 Olympic
01:25:20
Games and so Michael has definitely put
01:25:22
interest in that as well so he could be
01:25:24
at the Olympic Games in 2028 and if
01:25:26
that's the case sweet I I'll I'll
01:25:28
happily let him go and do that and I
01:25:30
will happily have a one-year-old or one
01:25:34
and a halfy old at the beach cheering on
01:25:36
dead in the LA Olympics I think that
01:25:38
would just be absolutely beautiful so um
01:25:42
yeah we we we're not going to go further
01:25:44
than 2026 for now we'll re at the time
01:25:47
but um if Paris Olympics was my last
01:25:51
Olympics I would be stoked oh
01:25:54
ex how could you not be yeah um yeah it
01:25:57
be I mean there's only two ways you end
01:25:59
a career like they say like it's
01:26:01
unceremoniously dumped pretty much or
01:26:03
you leave on your own terms and I want
01:26:05
to leave on my own terms 100% that's
01:26:07
always been um that's always been the
01:26:11
intention uh leaving it on my own terms
01:26:14
just gives you that little bit of
01:26:16
control um in your career a lot of when
01:26:20
it comes to our career obviously we're
01:26:22
the ones that are training hard but
01:26:24
there a lot of people above us that can
01:26:27
determine how your career goes so I'm
01:26:30
going to avoid that as much as possible
01:26:32
I I want to be able to um do what I can
01:26:36
while being in the position that I'm in
01:26:37
with rugby sevens yeah okay so there was
01:26:41
that quite I read up before from you
01:26:43
from um August 2018 so that six years
01:26:45
ago so six years from now what do we
01:26:48
manifesting oh God so what's that3
01:26:52
health health three kids under five
01:26:54
three kids under five three is more than
01:26:57
enough like I don't know how my mom did
01:27:00
it with four under five at one point
01:27:02
plus Dairy farming like buger that um
01:27:05
yeah I I what am I going to put out
01:27:08
there uh health and happiness
01:27:13
um just literally being in a place where
01:27:16
I can look back on my career and be like
01:27:21
I did exactly what I wanted to do I've
01:27:24
bear in mind even now I've done
01:27:26
everything that you can in the sevens
01:27:27
environment I've I've obviously got
01:27:29
Golds and com games World Cup Olympics
01:27:32
I've won this of I literally could not
01:27:34
do anymore but there's a couple
01:27:37
individual things that I selfishly want
01:27:38
to do so for example I want to be a hit
01:27:40
of Porsche with top try scorer love you
01:27:43
s but I'm coming for you um how far
01:27:45
behind are you oh I'm not entirely sure
01:27:47
I think maybe nineish tries so that's a
01:27:51
couple tourn exactly yeah no I want to
01:27:53
be in front of por
01:27:55
um I reckon I have the potential to be
01:27:58
the highest capped black FS um sevens
01:28:00
player with tournaments I think gosy has
01:28:03
that at the moment um gos that SRA s
01:28:06
yeah yeah um Tyler will be the next one
01:28:09
and then maybe Porsche so um there's a
01:28:12
few people ahead of me on that but I
01:28:14
reckon I have the potential to have that
01:28:16
as well depending on when gossi retires
01:28:19
if she retires the same time as me then
01:28:20
definitely not but um you must have
01:28:23
thought you had her with the KNE I know
01:28:24
I oh I'm catching up to you
01:28:26
sis she's awesome she's amazing oh I
01:28:30
could go on about here for days um but
01:28:33
yeah so I definitely want to do that
01:28:35
stuff as well um just because I'm a
01:28:38
competitive Butch and I just want to win
01:28:42
everything that's that's my childhood
01:28:44
that's just because that's how we were
01:28:46
bought up so I want to do that you never
01:28:48
had a chance yeah um I I I read this
01:28:51
somewhere or maybe I heard it on one of
01:28:53
the podcasts that I've listen to that
01:28:54
you've been on um about choosing
01:28:56
happiness you talk about choosing
01:28:57
happiness what what does that mean
01:28:59
exactly I want to be able to live a life
01:29:02
where um I'm happy with the decisions
01:29:07
that I've made um I'm obviously going to
01:29:10
be extremely happy with my relationship
01:29:12
like Michael is just H he is an angel
01:29:16
sent down from the heavens above um to
01:29:18
me so definitely happy in that aspect uh
01:29:23
I I just want to like look I want to be
01:29:25
that that Mom that sits back and look at
01:29:28
my kids playing in the backyard and
01:29:29
being like nothing could be better than
01:29:31
this right now um and so that obviously
01:29:36
has external and internal aspects to
01:29:38
that uh and so I guess that's I I hear
01:29:42
about people who are just so sad with
01:29:45
their life and it makes me sad um so I
01:29:49
just want to I love Kanye snoring right
01:29:51
now my dog snores too and it's
01:29:52
distracting you're so cute you um I just
01:29:56
I just want to be able to live a very
01:29:59
proud life where I couldn't do or give
01:30:05
or probably do any different like I
01:30:09
just where I'm like yeah this is the
01:30:11
life that I want uh and this is the life
01:30:15
that I want to continue living
01:30:18
um yeah so that's why I think I always
01:30:20
say to choose happiness and however that
01:30:22
looks whatever job it is
01:30:24
I don't know what I'm going to do after
01:30:25
rugby like I would love to be involved
01:30:27
with sky sport hint hun um I'm also
01:30:31
passionate about the police but there's
01:30:33
some people in my life that don't want
01:30:34
me to be a police officer which is fine
01:30:36
um Michael does he not want my family
01:30:38
like you you've even done some um some
01:30:41
you want to be like a a dog handler yeah
01:30:43
yeah I did some ride alongs with um the
01:30:45
toong of police and I loved it it was so
01:30:47
cool was it it was so cool Chas down bed
01:30:50
guys in the bush and otai and I saw a
01:30:53
dog um grip onto a bad guy's hand and
01:30:56
get tased on the ground like it was epic
01:30:58
I loved it but yeah no I've got there's
01:31:01
some people that are just like oh I'd
01:31:03
rather you be safe at home I'm like you
01:31:05
fair enough but um yeah I also love Skys
01:31:09
sport stuff like I loved the
01:31:10
commentating with raki I'd love to be
01:31:13
involved in some way shape or form um
01:31:15
because I genuinely love sport like I
01:31:17
genuinely really love rugby even outside
01:31:19
of playing it it's a beautiful sport and
01:31:21
you meet so many different people so um
01:31:24
I would love to do that kind of stuff as
01:31:26
well but when I say choose happiness
01:31:29
it's just a matter of being content and
01:31:31
happy with the lifestyle that I live no
01:31:33
matter how that looks um I don't want to
01:31:37
be someone who is sad um so yeah that's
01:31:41
I think that that's why I just have a
01:31:43
broad goal of just choosing happiness
01:31:46
and choosing the lifestyle that I know
01:31:48
would make me and my family happy oh I
01:31:50
love that and um oh another thing you
01:31:53
messaged me you wanted to talk about um
01:31:55
the impact of um journaling and
01:31:56
manifestation on your life yeah I how
01:31:59
long how long have you been a journaler
01:32:00
um I discovered it in the end of 2020
01:32:05
2020 um so before I met Michael I was in
01:32:08
another long-term
01:32:10
relationship the rugby player was the
01:32:12
rugby player uh no good stay away stay
01:32:15
away rugers R was a far bitter um no
01:32:18
some rugby players are
01:32:20
good um I was in a long-term
01:32:23
relationship for 5 and 1/ half years and
01:32:26
that breakup was hard uh mentally and
01:32:30
emotionally it needed to happen um did
01:32:33
it just run its course yep Y when you
01:32:35
when you grow up with someone from the
01:32:37
age of 19 your values and moral you
01:32:41
change everyone changes during your mid
01:32:43
to early 20s and so it needed to happen
01:32:46
um but it was also eight months out from
01:32:49
the Olympics and I was like I can't deal
01:32:52
with these emotions in my head
01:32:54
and I don't know why I thought about it
01:32:56
but I was like I'm going to go to Kmart
01:32:57
and I'm going to buy a journal book and
01:32:58
some colorful pens and I'll write my
01:33:00
thoughts in my head so rather than
01:33:02
having all these sad emotional random
01:33:07
thoughts in my head and trying to
01:33:08
remember why I thought there or how do I
01:33:10
process it I'll write it down instead um
01:33:13
and so that's when I started Journal
01:33:14
writing was um November is of 2020 and
01:33:19
so I've written in a journal every day
01:33:21
since then at the end of the day um
01:33:24
and it was just a good way for me to
01:33:26
brain dump at the end of the day um some
01:33:29
people do it at the start some people do
01:33:30
it in the middle of the day so
01:33:32
everyone's got their own processes
01:33:33
around it but I do it at the end of the
01:33:35
day and I write down what I did what
01:33:37
made me happy um what I'm grateful for a
01:33:41
I write a lot of manifestations and pos
01:33:43
positive affirmations um so
01:33:46
for uh 6 months leading into Tokyo I did
01:33:50
like a manifestation meditation to win
01:33:52
gold um to be happy to find someone that
01:33:55
makes me happy and then Michael turned
01:33:57
up so like it's such a strong powerful
01:34:00
tool um that you're either open or not
01:34:03
to it but when you put it out to the
01:34:05
universe like I was saying to myself I
01:34:07
am an Olympic gold medalist um and so
01:34:11
why I wanted to talk about it was
01:34:13
because the the scary things that have
01:34:15
happened in my career so before Tokyo
01:34:18
with my journal I picked like a couple
01:34:20
random pages so I just went flip and
01:34:22
then another few pages flip and I'd
01:34:24
write questions so the first question
01:34:27
might have been are you happy the next
01:34:29
one was have you found someone new and
01:34:31
then another one was are you an Olympic
01:34:33
gold medalist I was like yeah this this
01:34:35
would be a cool challenge if I end up
01:34:36
turning the page and I see it and be
01:34:38
like H okay let's answer that question
01:34:41
and so in Tokyo um we had one gold went
01:34:45
back to the Village uh went to go to bed
01:34:48
and I flipped the page to write my new
01:34:51
Journal piece and on that page was are
01:34:54
you an Olympic gold medalist and so I
01:34:57
wrote that literally 6 months before so
01:35:00
I have no idea what I'm going to write I
01:35:03
have no no idea how long my piece is it
01:35:05
can go from a sentence to half a page
01:35:08
and it happened to have been that page
01:35:10
and so when I saw the question I was
01:35:12
like yes I am yes I am an Al list um and
01:35:17
so like I visualized all these things in
01:35:19
my head with rugby I visualized scoring
01:35:22
tries I visualized
01:35:24
uh winning finals and it's happened like
01:35:26
it's just one of my tools that I love to
01:35:29
use in my career um but also outside of
01:35:31
life outside of um rugby as well and
01:35:35
then um I did the same thing with Paris
01:35:37
so I I buy a new journal every year and
01:35:40
I wrote you know in a few pages are you
01:35:43
this blah blah blah blah blah picked
01:35:44
another random page and was like are you
01:35:46
an Olympic gold medalist so completely
01:35:49
random and I did this in February is of
01:35:52
this year and so on uh it must have been
01:35:56
like 2 days before the final um so day
01:36:00
one I flipped the page to start uh my
01:36:04
journal piece which I write work hard
01:36:06
strike hard tackle hard before every
01:36:07
game day um and there was the question
01:36:10
on the morning uh sorry the night of day
01:36:14
one so before our last pool game and I
01:36:17
saw the question and I was like holy
01:36:20
[ __ ] like there was it was so So Random
01:36:24
it was so weird cuz I don't go back and
01:36:26
be like oh what how far is it now like I
01:36:28
just right close right close like I
01:36:32
don't check anything or look back on it
01:36:35
um and so yeah it was it was literally
01:36:38
the most randomst page that I could
01:36:40
select and both times it was either the
01:36:42
day of or a couple days before the
01:36:45
Olympic final and there was the question
01:36:47
so both times I could write but I wanted
01:36:50
to share this bit because it's actually
01:36:52
like
01:36:53
I thought it was quite powerful so um
01:36:56
when I uh had won Gold in Paris and I
01:36:59
was lying in bed next to Michael and he
01:37:01
was snoring but I was just lying I was
01:37:04
just staring at the ceiling and I didn't
01:37:05
fall asleep for hours and I was like I'm
01:37:08
going to write some notes down and so
01:37:10
this is what I wrote um and this is why
01:37:14
I'm really happy to share it cuz it's
01:37:16
actually random stuff um I wrote It's
01:37:19
the night of winning and Olympic gold my
01:37:22
emotions are different to Tokyo the
01:37:24
first one was amazing I felt so much
01:37:26
happiness and joy this time I feel more
01:37:29
so content relief and pride I had a
01:37:32
thought go through my head after the
01:37:34
warmup of our China pool game man I
01:37:36
really don't want to do this again I
01:37:38
snapped myself out of it of course but
01:37:40
it did make me think why would I have
01:37:42
that thought going through my head into
01:37:44
an Olympic Games in front of thousands
01:37:46
of people and my family just what I've
01:37:49
been dreaming of doing since I was
01:37:51
little now that we've won I think I know
01:37:54
why I genuinely had a feeling of I
01:37:57
really don't want to do that again the
01:37:59
stress the anxiety the desire to want
01:38:01
something so bad takes over all other
01:38:04
priorities and it's tiring it's been a
01:38:07
physically and mentally tiring 3 years
01:38:09
but also extremely rewarding and I
01:38:11
wouldn't change a thing I understand the
01:38:13
feeling of when you know you know
01:38:15
however that is the feeling of the
01:38:17
present moment while cuddling with
01:38:18
Michael after nearly four after nearly 4
01:38:20
months apart that could change when I'm
01:38:22
home and over tired and dehydrated I'm
01:38:25
going to enjoy these next few days
01:38:27
because when they go I'll miss them and
01:38:29
so I wrote it I wrote it in my notes and
01:38:32
then when I got to my journal I wrote it
01:38:34
in my book um and to me I think it's
01:38:37
really important sharing those thoughts
01:38:39
and emotions as an athlete um because a
01:38:42
lot of people can be quite personable
01:38:44
with that sort of stuff they keep it
01:38:45
close to them but um I think I'm now in
01:38:49
that part of my career where I want to
01:38:51
share more of that side of me because a
01:38:53
lot of people just see me scoring tries
01:38:56
but that's not just who I am um I do
01:38:59
have thoughts of moving on I've been
01:39:02
playing the sport for such a long time
01:39:04
that I'm now creeping closer to the
01:39:06
other side um and so I want people to
01:39:10
kind of understand that as athletes at
01:39:13
the top of our game we still have these
01:39:15
kind of thoughts um and you know when I
01:39:18
do decide to retire whenever that may be
01:39:21
uh I'm going to be extremely happy I'll
01:39:24
also be so sad and I can guarantee I'll
01:39:27
go through feelings
01:39:28
of oh maybe not maybe it's too soon or
01:39:31
it's too early or I might regret it like
01:39:32
I 100% feel like that's going to happen
01:39:35
um but yeah it was just this emotional
01:39:38
overwhelming feeling of oh my God that
01:39:40
was that was hard I don't want to do
01:39:43
that again so yeah it's it was so so
01:39:46
worth it so worth it the last 3 years um
01:39:50
but yeah it's journaling has been able
01:39:53
to
01:39:54
help me release those feelings and those
01:39:55
thoughts and be able to understand a
01:39:57
look back and be like why did I think
01:39:58
that or is there a outside reason why I
01:40:02
felt like that um and then maybe I can
01:40:04
put it down to this or put it down to
01:40:06
that so that's why I think Journal
01:40:07
writing has been extremely important for
01:40:09
my career because I've been able to put
01:40:12
that in process and put that place and
01:40:14
the manifesting like it worked like you
01:40:16
didn't even have to go and find Michael
01:40:18
he slid into your de he slid into my D
01:40:20
he came to you he came to me he came to
01:40:22
me and it was on the most randomst day
01:40:24
ever I just finished chatting to um one
01:40:27
of my mates and I was like to them um
01:40:31
you know maybe you know someone's going
01:40:33
to pop up or whatever I'm not going to
01:40:35
meet them in the supermarket no one
01:40:36
meets their love of their life in the
01:40:37
supermarket these days but it might
01:40:39
happen and then I went home that night
01:40:41
and saw his message request on my me on
01:40:43
my Instagram and I was like hello did
01:40:46
you know who he was had you read it no
01:40:48
no I I kind of um was aware of the
01:40:53
rowing Pier being the next heish and
01:40:56
Eric um and so I was aware of that story
01:41:00
but um I didn't know who he was um and
01:41:05
so it was quite refreshing meeting
01:41:07
someone who was not in a rugby
01:41:09
environment it was just a breath of
01:41:11
fresh year and yeah he was what I needed
01:41:15
yeah oh that's so cool yeah that's
01:41:17
awesome yeah and you mentioned um what
01:41:20
was the slogan you write on game days
01:41:22
strike um strike hard work hard tackle
01:41:25
hard and strike hard is the name of the
01:41:26
um the the kids book that you did I went
01:41:29
around where do you buy it do you have
01:41:30
to buy it online oh it's online yeah
01:41:32
it's not in stores um so you buy it
01:41:34
online uh through the reading Warrior
01:41:36
website um but yeah David Riley is the
01:41:39
author um and he just messaged me on
01:41:41
Instagram and because he's done one for
01:41:43
Stacy as well um and he said I would
01:41:46
love to I was like and I would love to
01:41:48
as well so it's the coolest thing it is
01:41:50
very cool yeah I have to remind myself
01:41:52
that it is a really cool thing to talk
01:41:55
about your childhood the way that I have
01:41:56
in this book and I think it was the
01:41:58
purpose of it for me was to uh talk
01:42:01
about who I am from my childhood I have
01:42:04
a very normal childhood I grew up on a
01:42:06
farm I love to exercise I love to sport
01:42:09
I loved winning I hated losing and I
01:42:11
just had this huge dream of wanting to
01:42:13
go to the Olympic games um there is
01:42:16
nothing traumatic or like an epiphany or
01:42:20
whatever like it was just a normal
01:42:22
childhood that led to me achieving my
01:42:25
goals um but coming from a very small um
01:42:29
village of Lipton where there you know
01:42:31
when I went to primary school there were
01:42:33
only about 90 of us at the primary
01:42:35
school now it's a little bit bigger um
01:42:38
you know it's it's hard as a country kid
01:42:40
to think big and to dream big um but I
01:42:44
just didn't let that fear me I was like
01:42:46
nah I'm going to I'm going to dream huge
01:42:48
and I had I had teachers at high school
01:42:50
tell me that it was unrealistic and so I
01:42:54
haven't seen that teacher yet but the
01:42:55
day I do who is it and shame I wish I
01:42:59
could let's let's call her Karen for now
01:43:02
but it was yeah and H like um do you
01:43:04
think they were just like managing
01:43:06
expectations or or do you think I think
01:43:08
teachers being teachers like you've got
01:43:10
to go to university and you've got to
01:43:12
have a degree yeah yeah like but for me
01:43:16
like I knew I absolutely knew from the
01:43:20
moment that I could walk that sport was
01:43:22
going to be my career in some way shape
01:43:24
or form and I made that happen that's it
01:43:27
I made it
01:43:30
happen I was going to ask you if you're
01:43:32
proud of yourself um I asked to a lot of
01:43:33
my guest but I I think I know the answer
01:43:36
yep yep I'm proud of myself um I also
01:43:41
have to remind myself uh where I've come
01:43:44
from um and how how much hard work I've
01:43:48
put into getting to this point in my
01:43:50
career I'm proud of myself because
01:43:53
little 16-year-old Michaela did not
01:43:55
think that it was
01:43:57
achievable um little 16-year-old Micha
01:44:01
didn't think that she had the potential
01:44:03
or the ability to win World rugby woman
01:44:07
Simons Player of the Year twice um she
01:44:10
definitely didn't think she was going to
01:44:11
get two Golds at the Olympic Games she
01:44:13
had the dream of her and she was doing
01:44:15
everything that she can to help it to
01:44:17
make it happen um but you have these
01:44:21
dreams and it's kind of like
01:44:23
a weird feeling when it happens and then
01:44:25
it's almost like this awkward weird
01:44:27
feeling at the back of your mind that it
01:44:28
never will happen um but it's still
01:44:31
something to obviously strive for but
01:44:34
yeah it when it did happen in Tokyo I
01:44:37
was like holy crap like I had this dream
01:44:39
since I was five and now it's happened
01:44:42
um so it is a very weird emotion um but
01:44:47
I've done so many hard things to make it
01:44:52
happen M it's it's been very rewarding
01:44:56
um but moving away from my family um
01:44:59
choosing to not go to my little niece's
01:45:01
birthday
01:45:02
parties
01:45:04
um putting you know all the way down to
01:45:08
choosing what I
01:45:09
eat um choosing to not drive home to the
01:45:14
Nei because sitting in a car for 8 hours
01:45:17
obviously 4 hours there and back is hard
01:45:19
on my back and so making sure that I was
01:45:22
% ready to train at my best physical
01:45:26
status on a Monday like there's so many
01:45:30
things that I've had to say no to
01:45:32
because this was more important at the
01:45:34
time um so now trof it's a very
01:45:38
expensive price though isn't it it is
01:45:39
yeah um and unless you're an athlete
01:45:43
yourself it can be very hard to
01:45:46
understand um but when you have a duty
01:45:50
of uh representing your country
01:45:54
and competing at the biggest sporting
01:45:56
event in the world you've got to take it
01:45:58
seriously and I'm someone that takes my
01:46:00
job very very seriously um and I'm also
01:46:04
extremely proud to have this job as well
01:46:06
so I will absolutely put my all into
01:46:09
everything that I can do to do this
01:46:11
Sport and this job proudly that's so
01:46:14
cool and um last
01:46:18
question what three words would you like
01:46:20
people to like describe you say say it
01:46:22
to your the day of your funeral and
01:46:24
everyone's standing around and there's
01:46:25
three words that sort of get thrown
01:46:27
around that that describe the life that
01:46:28
you you you've
01:46:31
LED
01:46:34
uh
01:46:36
passionately um just a passionate person
01:46:39
who will you know give their all that's
01:46:43
not three words but passionate loving
01:46:47
um I'm a very loving person I I love
01:46:51
hard so
01:46:54
loving
01:46:59
uh gosh a third one um passionate
01:47:04
loving
01:47:06
loyal and I say loyal because uh whether
01:47:10
it's a relationship or a job
01:47:14
or um an opportunity I will be loyal to
01:47:19
it and give you
01:47:23
wholeheartedly Michaela blide not many I
01:47:27
will wholeheartedly give you Michaela
01:47:29
blide what's the difference between
01:47:30
Michaela BL and Minnie uh Minnie has an
01:47:33
RBF and an RBF resting [ __ ] face um
01:47:37
Minnie also looks at her opposition on
01:47:39
the field and goes I'm going to destroy
01:47:42
you and uh Minnie also has no mercy for
01:47:46
anyone so she can be quite scary and not
01:47:50
a very remorseful person she's there to
01:47:53
absolutely destroy their opposition uh
01:47:55
and win
01:47:57
everything so that's many um but yeah
01:48:01
Michaela is someone
01:48:04
who loves to be personable and um be
01:48:08
able to talk to people as human beings I
01:48:11
think a lot of people are aware of me as
01:48:13
a rugby player so you know I love
01:48:16
talking to people about who I am outside
01:48:18
of there I love talking to others about
01:48:19
who they are I'm so fascinated with
01:48:21
other people outside of be like the
01:48:23
other day when I met up with Brody I met
01:48:25
two of her mates who work for the Rock
01:48:28
and the breeze and I was just so
01:48:29
fascinated because I was like wow like
01:48:31
you work in media works that is so cool
01:48:34
but to them they're just like it's just
01:48:36
my job but I'm like nah like I my job is
01:48:40
very repetitive and I love it so much I
01:48:42
love routine but I also am so um
01:48:46
isolated as rugby players we just meet
01:48:48
rugby and we're always rugby and we're
01:48:50
always talking about it um but when I
01:48:52
meet other people outside of it I'm just
01:48:54
so invested in their life like I find it
01:48:55
so cool I walked through the stuff
01:48:57
office and I was like this is cool like
01:49:00
hi guys there's like 50 computers
01:49:03
everywhere like their job they looked
01:49:05
really sad but I was like hi like this
01:49:08
is epic it's an
01:49:11
office unbelievable yeah just so lame I
01:49:15
know it's so lame but I love it I love
01:49:17
hearing about other people and what they
01:49:19
do and who they are um rather than just
01:49:23
like their job you know I think it's I
01:49:25
think it's very cool how we all have a
01:49:27
different purpose on this Earth and um
01:49:30
right now mine is rugby um and other
01:49:34
people have other purposes whether it's
01:49:36
in Media or the police or teaching or
01:49:39
whatever um so I love hearing about it
01:49:42
love hear hearing about other people as
01:49:43
human beings well play your cards right
01:49:45
when you retire from rugby maybe you can
01:49:47
get a job at stuff maybe oh I've got a
01:49:50
computer I have a wheelie
01:49:53
here oh
01:49:56
stationary oh he Michela BL this has
01:49:58
been um a you're you're just a breath of
01:50:01
fresh air oh thanks um I've been so
01:50:03
excited about this and it hasn't hasn't
01:50:04
disappointed it's been wonderful no I
01:50:06
appreciate it I I've seen who you talk
01:50:09
to Dom and I see how you connect with
01:50:12
people um and I think it's such a
01:50:15
powerful powerful thing to be able to do
01:50:18
not a lot of people can be personable
01:50:20
and just talk to humans but I think you
01:50:22
do that really really well and so when I
01:50:24
saw your email I was like oh my God yes
01:50:27
cuz I know you'll talk to me as a human
01:50:29
being um and I've been on so many
01:50:31
podcasts where we talk about rugby and
01:50:33
obviously that's who I am it defines a
01:50:35
lot about me um but I'm also an auny I'm
01:50:39
a partner um I'm a dog mom like I'm so
01:50:44
much more outside of rugby and so I want
01:50:47
people to be able to see that we are
01:50:48
very um normal people outside of our job
01:50:52
oh you are there's so much stuff that we
01:50:54
didn't even talk about didn't talk about
01:50:56
you having a diploma on dog psychology
01:50:59
yeah or your love of shortland Street no
01:51:02
I I haven't had a love of shortland
01:51:03
Street for a little bit now
01:51:05
unfortunately but yeah I was obsessed
01:51:07
with it when I moved away from home
01:51:09
butter chicken like oh butter chick yeah
01:51:11
when you left home you you ate butter
01:51:13
chicken like every night for two weeks
01:51:14
or something and I had um like a tub of
01:51:17
ice cream what's it like two liters a
01:51:20
top stuff yeah um I would get through
01:51:21
that in two days
01:51:23
yeah cuz I was just so homesick um but
01:51:25
moving away from home I don't know how
01:51:27
uni students do it cuz I struggled when
01:51:29
I was 19 like how do 17 18 year olds do
01:51:33
it like oh stuff there it was hard so
01:51:36
yeah food was like my comforting thing
01:51:39
and it was petex butter chicken and Tip
01:51:41
Top Ice
01:51:43
Cream this has been this has been great
01:51:45
this is um this is one of my favorite
01:51:48
podcasts I've ever done I think there's
01:51:49
so so many cool messages in here and so
01:51:51
many takeaways thank you and um yeah
01:51:53
thank you so much for everything you've
01:51:55
done for the country at Great sacrifice
01:51:57
and um I'm sure whatever the next
01:51:59
chapter is of the MCA break story
01:52:02
yeah I literally only changed three lits
01:52:05
of my last name it's great so easy one
01:52:07
syllable be word yeah and both of our
01:52:10
names are almost exactly the same he's
01:52:12
just one letter less so it's going to
01:52:13
confuse so many people and I can't wait
01:52:15
yeah well I can't see what's next cuz
01:52:17
whatever you do I'm sure you're going to
01:52:18
you know give it everything you've got
01:52:20
and be all at it definitely yeah I'm
01:52:22
some one who is either all in or not in
01:52:25
at all so um whatever it looks like I'm
01:52:28
very excited for it and um I will
01:52:31
wholeheartedly give everything of
01:52:33
Michaela BL to it so it's very exciting
01:52:36
thanks so much for being a guest thank
01:52:38
you I loved it
