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Michaela blide Minnie welcome to my podcast thank you I'm kind of nervous are you it's such it's such an honor for
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me to have you here I'm a big fan well it's funny that you say that because I
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feel like it's an honor being in your presence like I was saying to you outside before I grew up listening to
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you and you just kind of think of radio people doing being radio people and you don't picture them as like a human
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they're just a voice behind a microphone and you take a while to put like face to
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voice and then as social media came out you potac a voice and now I'm actually
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meeting you I'm like cool weird you can I um can I start by reading out the email that you absolutely go for it okay
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so so I sent you an email um maybe back in June uh asking you to come on the podcast yeah and you replied hello
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Dominic Harvey I've been waiting for you he he he Absol bloody lutely I'll be on your
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podcast I loved your chat with Lisa Carrington and Zack Guilford when you were Runners only and always love your
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short snippets on Instagram with your Dom Harvey podcast page so [ __ ] yes I'll
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be on your podcast I'll even I'll even make your job easy and tell you what I'd
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love to chat about wow the confidence of the girl I'm so sorry rugby body image uh selfishness
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of training as a high performance athlete constant pressure of representing your country maybe even
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wedding prep because that's always a cute topic to chat about to break up the
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sport oh and my children's book I'm p get me on there talk soon Micha blide
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black f s and I talk like I play rugby like intense I um I I I thought about this after um after I read it and it's
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the most enthusiastic reply I've ever had from anyone and um thanks I was I was humbled by it and I thought you're
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either like you are a messa fan of the podcast or be this is just representative of you as a person and
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everything you do you do at like a gold medal standard 100% 100% like full enthusiasm Y and I think that just comes
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from the environment that I've been a part of since I was 16 um you know our
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black friend's environment has evolved over time I was in there when I was a
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high school girl and I was quiet like I barely said boo um but as I've kind of
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grown to know who I am as a person uh and the amount of people that I've met
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and that's the thing that I think people think that we take for granted like the
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amount of different people that we meet is that we meet is amazing and so when I
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get any opportunity to meet people who you know make you know have an influence on either social media or on the world
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or whatever um you know I'm going to be my authentic self and show who I am as a
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person as well but the confidence has definitely grown over time it hasn't it's it's not something that just popped
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out just like that um it's taken a while to I guess accept who I am as a person
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and so when I saw your email I had to be myself I was like yes I no but that was that was the takeaway
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for me it's like um you know your time is so precious you spend so much of the
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year out of the country like you've done 50 tournaments or something since you've
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been playing yeah so if you're going to say um yes to something make it enthusiastic yes oh absolutely yeah and
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not only that but um make the most of the opportunities that you get given because this job that I have is not
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forever you you can't play rugby forever but you can always give back to rugby as
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much as you can and I guess my way of giving back is by talking about us by talking about the stories uh talking
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about my story and your your podcast was definitely an opportunity for me to be able to one meet you because I listened
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to you for so long as a kid um but also to tell my story and just use this platform to get people to know who I am
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as a human being a lot of people know me as a black friend EV player they know me
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as many but they don't know me as Michaela blide and so this is a great opportunity for me to express who I am
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as a human being outside of being a black F sens player I love that and I'm I'm so excited about this there is so
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much to talk about um and I can see why you're excited to meet me it's because
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of um this isn't it it's my Paris meal oh stop it give me that I went to oh my
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God I went to Paris in April and ran the marathon um it's a gold medal to be fair
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55,000 other people got the same medal on the same day no but you know what I'm
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jealous because this ribbon is far more comfortable than this ribbon like this is just nails and bulk
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that's all right they've been chipped either way and this is this is Silky
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feel that on your neck that is just lovely and divine oh you're being very kind jeez this is um I got goosebumps
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just putting this on this is really special eh that is very cool and then when you put both of them on put both on
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and then it's even more special yeah look at that now you can do like neck exercises go just go like that and there
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and it just strengthens your neck up big time they're um they're in good neck
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aren't they you take you take quite a bit the Paris ribbon's already been um
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operated on with that piece of material sticking out oh yeah she ripped so I had
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to get my nana to sew that back together um there's a few chips on the Tokyo One
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she's been sheared around a little bit but yeah um they are very special you
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you just arrived today and you just had them in your in your in your handbag you
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don't have them in the the does this one come in the Louis Vuitton box it does um
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she hasn't been in the box yet um I I'm going to keep wearing this by the way
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it's very Divine on my neck um she hasn't been in the box yet but my Tokyo
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One um sits uh in this is not mine this is my partner's midle oh my god I've just realized it
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says rowing means a on it oh my god oh it does too yeah you your partner who you're getting married to year
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Michael Michael Michel break that's his middle actually I was looking at it before I was like oh she's been chipped
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um a few more times than I Remember by the way how many how many couples can say that I grabbed the wrong gold mdal
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yeah we're a very overachieving couple God that's funny I they the last few
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days we've been going to like his n's house and all that and so we've had all
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three of them together just chilling and so I just I didn't even think okay well
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there we go Michael's medals being in the Dom Harvey podcast room yeah how good um okay so some of your
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achievements uh we've established two Olympic gold medals Commonwealth Games
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gold and bronze um uh gold and silver at um the sevens Rugby World Cups World rugby
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sevens Player of the Year 27 and 28 uh 2017 2018 first person to go back to back um tracked running at 31 km an
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hour it's even faster now [ __ ] you're is it faster I've H 35 a couple times now
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yeah and a really good Sprinter as a kid yeah did you you're a similar age to Zoe
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Hobs did you even go against Zoe Hobs at like games yeah so funny story about so
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I'm a couple years older than Zoe um so we didn't really race against each other
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with age group Athletics so we did Colgate games for years um but I always remember watching Zoe from the moment
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that she stepped on the track and she would just carve everyone up she won by 10 15 met every time um whereas I was
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sort of like top top three top five most um Colgate games but uh the story behind
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Zoe and I I've only raced against her maybe three times and it would have been
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post Colgate games uh and the last time I raced against her was in 2011 and it was 100 meters and she B Me
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by I'm going to say 3 four Metter and so I dropped my lip and quit straight away
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I was like great cool that's my C to go um so if it wasn't for Zoe beating me in
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that race I may have not have moved on to rugby sevs but yeah she's an extraordinary athlete and of course
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she's from tanaki tanaki athletes are Extraordinary People um so yeah I've
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I've grown up abs Ely admiring her she's done an incredible job to put um
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sprinting back on the map for New Zealand oh yeah she's a Savage absolutely she's incredible but as you
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are okay um yeah let's let's talk about the Paris Olympics for a bit and then
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we'll move into other stuff we'll go deep on the M story first of all what
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happened to with your eye what's the that's a that's a mean scy yeah yeah
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where's my camera where do I look that way yeah so this gorgeous little thing
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here my new Harry Potter scar um it was game two against Canada and I went to clean out um charity Williams and
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instead of I guess going under her chest I skipped skimmed the top of her head uh
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and it just completely split my forehead um and initially I was like ah crap like
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you feel a sting I knew straight away that I'd split my head but in the moment
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we were on defense so I couldn't stop uh ball was in play so I couldn't just
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randomly walk off the field kept playing and kind of went like this and had blood
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all over my hands I was ah cool this is a stitch so um Jazzy then scored which was great um and so that's when I hopped
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off but yeah I got seven stitches and that's why I had a white Plaster over my
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forehead for the rest of the tournament because I had to protect the stitches so
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yeah it was a great Olympic campaign but um yeah I mean I love it it's it makes
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me look tough it does you look badass I was going to ask ask about that from um like a a female perspective because you
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know you know it's a it's a tough sport you do but also you are quite a girly
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girl given the time and place um you was watching the UFC yesterday did you watch
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the UFC I um I used to watch Ronda Rousey quite a bit Yeah but I didn't watch the fight yesterday no so Dan the
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hangman hooker uh he ended up winning his fight but in between the fourth round and the fifth round there was
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blood everywhere like cat on his cheek cat on his eye and he was just smiling and laughing he said something like I
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love yeah yeah I do remember seeing that on Instagram and in all honesty that's
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exactly how we feel too we're just like yeah Blood let's go I look tough I
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actually enjoy that sort of stuff like getting black eyes and all that I'm not
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someone that's like oh better protect my face but it is just part of the job
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really it's sort of the things that we have to put up with when we're on the
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field is Battle Scars and blood and whatnot so that's all part of the job really and how are you feeling um
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pre-final yeah I suppose um like are you are you real nervous or is it you go into it with a good feeling knowing that
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even if you lose you still get silver um I definitely don't go into it thinking oh we're going to get a midle
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no matter what um a little bit nervous but I think I was only nervous because it's just an Olympic gold medal
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final and no matter who you come up against there's always going to be those
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Jitters uh at an Olympic Games in front of 70 odd thousand people uh with my fiance and family and the crowd like I
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wanted to perform for them so so badly but also the Paris Olympics when I think back to my initial dream as a 5-year-old
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um to go to the Olympic Games and win gold at the time it was for athletics um I envisioned that dream being in front
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of thousands of people um singing the National Anthem doing the hacker or whatever it was um and so this moment
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was the moment that I've been dreaming of for so long Tokyo was obviously amazing and it was the moment where I
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first achieved my dream um but it was in front of no one and to me I love crowd I
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love atmosphere and I bounce off that energy so much now back in the day definitely not I would have cried every
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game because of how nervous I was but nowadays I use it as like an energy source um and so Jitters but also good
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Jitters but also a lot of confidence like we're the type of team who understand our strengths and we know
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exactly what we need to do every game to beat other teams we knew how to beat Canada um but they' also just beaten
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Aussie and France so they had a whole new level of confidence going into this game but we knew exactly what we needed
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to do with to to beat them and luckily it pulled off in the end when did the the crying thing stop just going back to
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that you just like cry with nerves before each game oh probably when I was 21 22 um from the age of 16 to 20 which
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was the first Olympic cycle for our Squad um I went to Rio as a traveling Reserve but I was definitely mentally no
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way near prepared to be an Olympian like the pressure of uh competing in Olympic
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Games for me personally then would have just been too much like I know for a fact I would have crumbled plus I don't
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want a silver medal so that's that's totally fine too um but yeah the crying
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for me like the nerves just built up so much for me emotionally that it wasn't
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like my way of showing that I was upset it was just my way of releasing what I needed to get rid of what was built up
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so like some people vomit before competing cuz they're just that nervous well they have to go to the bathroom for
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me it's crying and so releasing those tears straight afterwards I'm like okay
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cool sweet I'm good to go the legs are heavy the breathing's out of whack or
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whatever but it took me probably a solid I'm going to say at least eight years
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easily to solidify a good mental process for me to go through um what I needed to
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do to get me into be mode when I ran onto the Rugby field but yeah it took I still like it emotional before a final
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cuz we have our whole Management in a room yay size we obviously hug and kiss everyone to say you know got your back s
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kind of thing and thank you um and so we we have the whole management we have our
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songs that we play on the speaker and so for me going out to a final is emotional
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cuz we have everyone in the one room and we huddle up and the captain says what they need to say and then I do the call
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and then off we go so it's like a good Unity moment for us as well to be like
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this is what we're about to play for as this family right here so it's emotional
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so much yeah I'm wondering if we take the I just blessed it blessed it no you're saying um you're you're saying so
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many um like profound things but I I don't want anything to be turned into a
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clip for Instagram or whatever with you wearing like a shitty Paris Marathon finish hey you're about to go compete at
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the Sydney Marathon so we're going to I'm going to give you my speed through
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that not my endurance you can keep there yeah so so you win the you win the gold
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medal um and then I you can't celebrate because you you get drug tested or yeah
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immediately what does that like immediately yeah so is it a random draw it is random yeah so pretty much
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everyone in our team got drug tested at some stage over the um Olympic campaign in the village um so for me it was after
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the final plus two others so um we had our medal ceremony we do you know around selfies fans Etc see family and then we
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obviously go through the mixed Zone to do uh interviews with um the media and as I was going through the mixed Zone I
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almost didn't go through it because I was like H like I've done enough I just
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wanted to go back and chill out in our changing room just for five minutes but then as I went through the mix Zone one
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of the Paris um drug testing officials came up to me and said oh can I just get you to confirm your name and instantly I
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was like oh damn it I was like it's Michaela blide and she's like okay cool
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you've just been notified to get drug tested I was like oh damn it and so um I
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was heavily dehydrated um had barely any water after our final um and so I just had to scull back some water I was at
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the stadium for an extra couple hours because my other two teammates did partials and when you do partials you've
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obviously got to wait to refill what you've missed what is a partial me so partial so when you do a drug test you
00:15:39
do it depends but I think it's 90 Ms of fluids um if you do less than that you've got to top it back up again so
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you've just got to wait around drink more water um take more fluids and then
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refill what you've missed so that can take a while because if you're dehydrated and go to the bathroom it
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takes ages for your bladder to kick in again um so yeah we had to wait for those partials to be done and then we
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could go to where we needed to go afterwards to celebrate can they can they not take blood yes sometimes but
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not every time so one of my teammates were blood and urine I was just urine so it was just pan a bottle and Away you go
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yeah and is it some someone watching you is it really yeah yep you got to show them all the bits um yeah they they're
00:16:28
literally just is watching you cuz you know especially for men it's easier for
00:16:32
men you can you know that I don't know how you can but you know supposably you
00:16:37
can Chuck something there and have something else the penis or something yeah honestly like it's it's quite
00:16:44
interesting what people try and do to get away with it but yeah you've got to
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literally Chuck your pants down to your ankles lift your top up so pretty much this whole thing is viewable and then
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away you go and you just pee in front of a random it's humiliating that is a
00:16:58
little bit but when you've done it oh god I've been drug tested close to 50 times easily and you
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just get used to it to be honest they've seen it all that's not the first vagina
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that they've seen so you just get used to it really yeah but I remember my first time getting drug tested I would
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have been oh gosh maybe 17 and yeah just absolute stage fry and I took hours and
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hours to want to need to go to the bathroom cuz you know you need to but mentally there's like a blockage and so
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you just got to get used to the fact that someone's going to stare at you like this while you're peeing a cup yeah
00:17:37
yeah yeah i' be yeah I've got a shy bladder yeah sometimes I'll be busting
00:17:41
for a we and I'll get to the urinal like an event and then suddenly it's like
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where's my pee now literally that's literally exactly what it's like when
00:17:48
you're getting drug tested and then as soon as you're finished you need a pee
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for the next hour constantly cuz you just had so much water so yeah it is it's a weird process but it's just what
00:17:58
you got got to do when you're a high performance athlete yeah so you you get
00:18:02
that done then you go and join the team everyone's on a little buzz by then I
00:18:05
guess massive Buzz yeah yeah and I was so tired um and so was my whole family and friends but they'd been partying for
00:18:12
about 3 days straight so they definitely had a reason to be tired um I also had a
00:18:17
reason to be tired but yeah we got to about maybe 1:30 2:00 um and the story actually leads up
00:18:25
to a really good story um with my journaling and so got to about 2:00 and I looked at Michael and I was just like
00:18:31
I can't do this anymore the girls were on some of our girls partied really well
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um which absolutely fair enough they're six years younger than me so go for it
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and so yeah I just we ended up just going back to Michael's apartment with all of his um crew there was my best
00:18:46
friend uh and then The Odd Couple like old friends and flat mates that um Michael lived with for a bit so yeah we
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just went back to the apartment we chilled out and I didn't fall asleep till maybe 7 a.m. got a bit 45 minute
00:19:00
nap and then away you go the next day yeah amazing yeah and why why the quick departure you you feel like you guys had
00:19:08
the tournament then next thing you know on Instagram you're on a plane heading
00:19:11
home again literally yep so um the reason behind that was because we were early athletes um and there weren't
00:19:17
enough beds for every single athlete in Team New Zealand and so if you finished competing you had to leave the village
00:19:23
straight away and so literally within 12 hours um the new athletes were in our Apartments so we had to clean out
00:19:31
everything um straight away and then we had our um celebration at the Ed house um which would have been on TV for
00:19:40
everyone to see which was great and yeah we went off with our family and friends
00:19:43
and we hadn't seen each other since so um half of us went back home to New Zealand uh reasons being obviously girls
00:19:50
went to League um just needed to get back to family and so I just wanted to go home and just be in my own presence
00:19:58
so I went home uh and I was in my I pretty much did miq again like Tokyo but I did it in my own house for 3 days and
00:20:06
I didn't speak to anyone I didn't see anyone I literally sat in my lounge um
00:20:12
and watched the Olympics or watched Netflix or watch House of the dragon and just chilled out and did nothing and
00:20:18
didn't see anyone or show anyone my medal it was great I loved it yeah on social media I saw you looked like
00:20:23
you're wearing um an Audie or something with your gold medal watching the Olympics Y no I honestly just did
00:20:29
nothing it was great I just I I knew that um as soon as I started seeing people it would have just been on the go
00:20:37
go go mentally and so if I didn't take those few days to myself um and actually
00:20:43
process what we just did I would have hated of it to caught up on me later in my leave or in my leave period and so I
00:20:52
just needed those three days just to actually sit there and be like holy crap like this last 13 well three years
00:21:00
essentially but 13 months of knuckling down on it has finally been completed and that's something that a lot of
00:21:07
people don't truly understand is the little bit of comedowns that you get after an Olympic Games and I don't think
00:21:14
I've had the comedowns I've kind of tried to avoid it a little bit um mainly
00:21:18
because I've been so occupied with family um and then when Michael came home we went we'd been aart for about
00:21:25
four months and so just being present with him um you should see my notes of committed
00:21:32
gigs that I've written in every day um from now until the 4th of September definitely
00:21:39
I've got something on so um I just needed the two days just to release and just sit there in silence yeah 100% yeah
00:21:47
and the um the Olympic Comedown thing you talking I had um uh a girl one of the former black sticks on um the
00:21:54
podcast called Brook Neil and she wrote a wrote a post that sort of blew up um after her Olympic experience like an
00:21:59
open letter called deer Olympian yeah and it's quite like because there's a
00:22:03
lot of people that that would probably go there with high expectations and leave without any sort of like um
00:22:08
tangible rewards um you still have like a post Olympic come down when you win yeah and I think it's because of the
00:22:15
hype and the atmosphere and the publicity that the Olympic Games gets um you finally achieve your goal of
00:22:25
participating in it and then all of a sudden it's over and then you go back to
00:22:29
normality um and it is a very very weird feeling I had it massively after Tokyo but I think it was because we had spent
00:22:37
miq 2 weeks by ourselves in a hotel room plus there were other aspects around that as well but um the the thought of
00:22:46
just sitting in a room and watching the closing ceremony after Tokyo like I got upset like I was like like it's actually
00:22:53
finished that's it done next thing um and so that's why I purposely didn't
00:22:58
watch the closing ceremony because I didn't want to connect back those feelings again I just it's it's probably
00:23:05
quite bad but I just wanted to avoid those emotions and just be completely present with what I had around me which
00:23:13
was my family my partner um and just be present with what I've got coming up and
00:23:18
what I can look forward to rather than be sad about something that we actually came away with a gold medal um and be
00:23:26
sad about that finishing um yeah it's a very weird feeling and a lot of people
00:23:30
would never understand um but yeah I actually saw a I can't remember the athlete but I think she's an Australian
00:23:37
on Tik Tok and Ray Gun it could have been her ray gun bless her soul um and the athlete said pretty much something
00:23:46
along the lines of when you've just achieved your lifelong goal of going to the Olympic Games and now you're back at
00:23:51
the field doing shut off all over again and to me I was like man like that's
00:23:55
actually the case there's a lot of athletes do what they they need to do at the Olympic Games they either win silver
00:24:00
bronze or nothing and then they come back and then they go back to training or they're on holiday or whatever it is
00:24:07
a very weird switch going from the highest of highs for any athlete to then coming back to normality it's a very
00:24:15
very weird feeling yeah thanks for explaining that I can't I don't know how
00:24:19
else to explain that but yeah it is it is a bizarre feeling yeah yeah well it's
00:24:23
something only like less than 0.00001% of the population or relate to it's [ __ ] crazy well you
00:24:31
you talked about in particular the 13 months leading up to it like what did they look like how intense was it so we
00:24:36
started our pre-season in July last year um we for specifically for the specifically for the Olympics um we had
00:24:44
three pre off the top of my head three preseason tournaments before the World Series kicked off in December last year
00:24:51
uh we had eight World Series tournaments and then the Olympic Games so we were on
00:24:56
the go playing rugby from October last year to Olympics which is a lot of rugby um obviously in between that you got to
00:25:05
balance recovery to then coming back up again for a tournament uh to then neutralizing that and staying here to
00:25:13
then recovery again like it's it's a really long process um of a lot of rugby
00:25:18
and having to balance um recovery to then peaking again so it it is quite a journey um and a lot of a lot of hard
00:25:27
work and it's also really important to manage each athlete you got I mean for
00:25:32
someone like Georgia Miller she could go and go and go she's a classic 20-year-old with endless energy but for
00:25:37
someone like myself um although I'm still young I'm only 28 but I have a
00:25:43
history of um stress related injuries um I've had three stress reactions in my
00:25:49
fibs and so managing that but also still keeping up with my Rugby as much as I can uh managing athletes with
00:25:57
combination so pretty much the whole year for the coaches was essentially obviously winning world series which we
00:26:03
kind of did um if you know people don't count it or whatever um but then also
00:26:09
finalizing your Olympic combination for the Olympic Games and so we had to switch out players um to get the ideal
00:26:18
positions for who's playing where for how long who's on the bench who comes
00:26:23
off the bench um so it is actually quite a long process for coaches as well to finalize that I don't want to say
00:26:30
perfect but that ideal 12 to compete at the Olympic Games and so that was also the reason for such a long um year as
00:26:38
well [ __ ] it's a lot a lot of travel as well a lot of travel how how many weeks
00:26:42
a year are you out of the country or on the road from December through to May December is the Dubai Cape Town
00:26:49
tournament so that's our back toback so we're away for a month uh and then the
00:26:54
rest after that were pretty much depending on if it's a back-to-back tournament or not um if it's a singular
00:27:00
tournament we're away for 12 days home for 12 days away for another 12 if it's
00:27:06
a back to back we're away for 2 and a half weeks home for a week and a half back away again for it so we're in and
00:27:12
out of the country um quite a few times but yeah every month from December through to May Junes we're in a
00:27:19
different country um you do definitely get used to it it's it's a people I
00:27:25
think like they assume that that's tiring you know jet lag Etc which yeah you definitely have to deal with her um
00:27:32
but you also get used to having to recover your body as fast as possible when you come home to sleep as much as
00:27:40
possible to then get back into it two days later um but I would rather and everyone else is the same I would rather
00:27:47
it be like that than it be like how the rowers go away for like three months at one time over Europe and do their world
00:27:53
Champs and World Cups like I couldn't be away from home for that a month is too
00:27:57
long for me I'm like n get me home I love coming home yeah from what I can get you're quite a home body like you've
00:28:03
got your own you bought your own house at 22 23 you've got your fiance you got
00:28:06
your dog yeah yeah I just I and also that's what I grew up with as well um from um being a Dairy Farmer kid Dairy
00:28:16
Farmers don't go on on holidays our holidays were Colgate games as a family and that was to Orland or Hamilton or
00:28:23
Wellington um so that was our holiday as a family and that you know Mom and Dad could get a um a replacement milker to
00:28:31
come and milk the cows for that week and yeah so I didn't know any different
00:28:36
either we weren't the family to go to Australia for a holiday for the kids like our holiday was working at home
00:28:44
during school holidays whether it was getting the carves in or milking to get in the sheet get out of the house yeah
00:28:51
yeah actual packing the um when we had square bales chucking them in the sheet uh cleaning troughs out like that was
00:28:59
our holiday um so I just didn't know any different uh so I think that's why I'm
00:29:04
such a home body as well it's because that was my environment or that was my
00:29:07
culture growing up you you've chosen a shitty career for a home body I know so much travel but I suppose if you
00:29:15
put into the perspective of your lifespan and you know realize it's a limited time sort of thing definitely
00:29:20
yeah um hey one more one more Olympic sort of thing and then we'll um move on
00:29:24
um Shel andne praise the priz so um Jamaican Sprinter one of the one of the goats yes what's for anyone who doesn't
00:29:31
know who we're talking about who is she so she's been my idol since I was 10
00:29:37
years old um shell andne Fraser prize is actually the reason why I wanted to win
00:29:43
gold in the 10200 M at the Olympic Games as my initial Olympic dream um she's
00:29:48
shorter than me and just got she's a pocket rocket you know she's called the
00:29:54
mommy rocket because she's got a three four year old boy um and just an absolute Legend in her
00:30:01
own right and so meeting her to be honest I was honestly just sitting like this in the food Hall eating my dinner I
00:30:08
had Porsha here and gosy there um and gosy was sitting opposite me so she didn't see her straight away but Porsha
00:30:15
and I both saw her walking this way and Porsha went like this to my quad she was
00:30:19
like oh my God and she was like that's sh very surprised and I was like and we
00:30:23
caught eyes for like half a second and I was like and I just like didn't know
00:30:27
what I forgot how to human I forgot how to human and all of a sudden these tears
00:30:32
just came to my eyes and I was like I literally just saw sh and Fraser prize and I couldn't help it but get emotional
00:30:38
and she had no idea who I was I don't even think she looked at me properly but
00:30:43
I think we had an eye contact and yeah I just got so emotional and then the next
00:30:48
day she tried looking for me and I she's my Olympic besti um so yeah so yeah I'll
00:30:54
pause you there so so that was shared on Tik Tok the food court thing yeah so did
00:30:58
she see that and that's why she went looking for you the next day yep so um how did she go how did she go looking
00:31:03
for you like so what had happened was um her I don't know I can't remember the
00:31:08
guy's name that she was wor a teammate anyway and they were walking past our
00:31:12
building to go to a supermarket that was kind of up above where um the Olympic Village was and Tyler and Stacy saw her
00:31:20
um and they they were on bikes and so they biked up to Shel Anne and they said hi and stuff and um then shelle was like
00:31:26
oh do you guys know who m is and they were like yes she's my teammate and I have to show you Dom I have to show you
00:31:33
and so um I was getting a message actually during this time and I kept get my phone kept on buzzing and I was just
00:31:41
like it's one of one of our things that we have as a team is that if you're
00:31:46
getting a message or treatment you can't be on your phone like it's just a a
00:31:50
polite thing for our it's one of our protocols and so obviously I didn't grab
00:31:54
my phone cuz I was like no that's rude but it just kept going and um I can't
00:31:58
remember my message guy's name let's call him jack he was like oh you can
00:32:01
answer it if you want us and I was like yeah sweet sorry bro and I'm getting a
00:32:04
call from Tyler what is she calling me for and this was [Music] why hello oh my God it's a FaceTime with
00:32:23
it oh my God you're amazing oh my God oh my God oh my God hi hi I sound so dramatic hi zero chill
00:32:35
zero okay oh my God you're interrupting my message T but for a good reason oh my
00:32:40
God Shel and you're amazing I love you oh my god hi [Music] oh I I what saying oh I'm so sweetie
00:32:59
that's amazing look at me I'm just like oh my God you're talking to look and I'm running down the
00:33:12
stairs and then it will cut out eventually cuz I lose reception oh so you you abandoned the message yes I
00:33:18
jumped off the message table the lift's taking I was like the lift was taking ages and so I was like n
00:33:27
stuff this I'm going down the stairs and then that's where it cuts and then the
00:33:31
next moment is when um the video where I run around the corner and go the famous
00:33:36
Tik Tok it's had like 6 million views now so you oh that explains it so you've
00:33:40
got like a shirt on that's got to stain on yes it's got chocolate yogurt on it
00:33:44
um um track pants and beer feet yep and I I wasn't even I didn't even think
00:33:49
about grabbing shoes I didn't think about any of it I just ran down those stairs one cuz I didn't want to take up
00:33:55
any of Shel Anne's time I was like she could busy um like who knows what she's
00:34:00
up to and so that's why I just ran down the stairs and then obviously went and
00:34:04
metet her and oh just when when I when I tell you what it's like to meet an idol
00:34:12
it's so hard to explain because for so long I watched you compete on TV um wasn't like social media wasn't huge
00:34:21
whatsoever when she blew up um and so I only witnessed her on TV and as a kid when you see your idol on TV you just
00:34:30
know for a fact you're never going to meet them you're just like I'm going to
00:34:33
admire you from afar you have no idea who I am but I look up to you as someone who has made a huge impact to women's
00:34:41
sport especially Athletics um because it's always about the fastest man on the
00:34:46
planet but it's never about the fastest woman and she just really emphasized
00:34:51
what it meant to be a very fast female in both the 100 and 200 M um and so when I saw her in
00:34:59
person my whole soul left my body and was watching me above as I hugged her and if I hugged her 10% stronger than
00:35:09
what I did I would have broken her robes she's tiny she's so tiny um and just
00:35:16
super super kind and you know we're talking about the Olympic she's talking
00:35:20
about her and what she's up to and she was saying it to the last one obviously
00:35:24
so she's just going to have fun we're like Yo cool and then she said I'll come
00:35:28
watch you play and you know like even I've said to people yeah yeah I'll come
00:35:32
you know I'll watch you play and it's you know you you say it with meaning but
00:35:36
you know that deep down you can't probably won't and probably won't but so
00:35:40
when she said it I was like oh yeah cool like that'd be great but you're a buzzy
00:35:44
lady and then all of a sudden after our China game I can hear like from afar and
00:35:51
I was like going to hear my name and I looked up and here's Alicia Quirk whose
00:35:56
um EX SS player she does stuff with um HSBC 7s and she's going like this and I
00:36:02
was oh yeah and then she points like this and so I just kind of look to my left and there's Shel andne Fraser price
00:36:08
watching us and I just lost I jumped up and down I'm screaming I was getting
00:36:13
interviewed by like Jamaica Star someone else and someone else because of these videos going viral um and she came to
00:36:20
watch us play and then on her insta story she's cheering for me like she's
00:36:24
cheering for little Michaela blide who's from Aki who you know it's just a random
00:36:31
to her but to me she's someone who made a huge impact on my sporting career and
00:36:37
although she would probably never understand it to that aspect but the fact that she took time out of her day
00:36:41
to watch us and to cheer for me um really puts in perspective how important it is to as an Olympian to um to really
00:36:52
spread that love and care and joy to other people cuz even though I'm an Olympian as well
00:36:58
having her there was just unbelievably meaningful and it just kind of it makes you realize that the job that we have as
00:37:06
well when we go to Club rugby or to Little Jenny school rugby or whatever they see us on the sideline and they
00:37:14
feel just like how I felt there and so it was a good reminder that uh we have a really important role in our job to
00:37:22
continue um you know impacting the lives that we have around us that look up to us as as well yeah and I love just how
00:37:30
there something just really really pure about um your reaction you're not playing at Co um it's completely
00:37:38
unfiltered and natural and there's something wonderful about that and um have you been in touch since um I gave
00:37:44
her one of our training jerseys uh so that was the last time I saw her was at the game um I haven't seen her since I
00:37:52
um had one of your friends FaceTime her uh when I was giving a black juy to the jamaan team building cuz I really wanted
00:37:59
to one of the ways that we love to show our gratitude is by giving a piece of our black F sens kit and to them it's
00:38:05
probably just a uniform but to us that it was it's something that we actually
00:38:08
hold quite cherish to us and so I gave her one of my training jerseys um before she competed um to say like thank you
00:38:17
that she she didn't have to come and see me she didn't have to come watch us play
00:38:21
she's getting for an Olympic Games herself getting ready and she took time out of her day to come and support us
00:38:28
like to me that's just huge um we were never going to go support anyone before
00:38:33
our before our competition kicked off so the fact that she went and did that was
00:38:37
just massive um and so yeah I went and sent the Jersey to um her building whether she received it or not I've got
00:38:46
no idea um and then obviously her Olympic Journey um was disrupted poorly and really unfortunately um and so you
00:38:56
know she's obviously got things that need she needs to deal with as well um what happened well obviously she missed
00:39:02
out on her semi-final race because of the drama of the bus going to the same security gate for her and other athlete
00:39:10
includ including um Shakari Richardson uh and they were disallowed to go through that gate and so they were like
00:39:16
okay so where else do we enter it was entering into the warmup field okay it's
00:39:22
Shelly andne Fraser price that's a cluster like why wasn't she getting escorted to the stadium in the first
00:39:29
place by Li limo she's an absolute Queen at her last Olympic Games she is an
00:39:35
absolute Legend of woman sprinting and this isn't to belittle any of the other
00:39:40
women's athletes but who the heck turns around and disallowed shanne Fraser price from entering the stadium to
00:39:46
compete in an olympic semi-final like excuse my language but it's total [ __ ] really um and she just didn't
00:39:54
have enough time to warm up properly so she just pulled out and it's so unfortunate um like I watched it live
00:40:00
obviously I was at home I was jet lagged so it was easy for me to wake up at 4:00
00:40:04
a.m. um and yeah I just my jaw dropped the what the hell's going on it's
00:40:10
outrageous it was outrageous it was stupid like I don't know what who's in
00:40:15
charge or who was involved with that rule change or that structure change but they need to honestly look at themselves
00:40:21
in the mirror cuz they really just disrupted what would have been an unbelievable Olympic final I mean she
00:40:29
may not have won she may not have medled but it wouldn't have mattered because it
00:40:33
was her last Olympic Games out of five and she's meddled at all of them I think
00:40:40
um and she's World Championship multiple times like let the woman race let the
00:40:46
let the girl in so it was unfortunate um so she's definitely probably around do
00:40:52
family and friends to help go through that process yeah hey thanks for sharing all these Olympic experiences talking
00:40:57
about it yet or um I probably will be eventually but at the moment no it's so
00:41:02
fresh and it's cool and like you said before like there is a very very small
00:41:06
percentage of people on this planet that will ever experience an Olympic games um
00:41:11
so to continue sharing the stories and the experiences of it is really important so people can actually hear
00:41:16
what we go through um at what is the biggest sportting sporting event in the world yeah absolutely all right let's go
00:41:22
all the way back so um so you're from taneki from what I can gather um yeah your de Dey Farm family rugby pedigree
00:41:29
your dad played a bit of rugby your mom was a black Fon um you play a little bit
00:41:34
of rugby when you when you you're the oldest right you got I'm the oldest
00:41:37
oldest yeah oldest of uh four kids uh Christopher myself and then the twins colen lamb all played rugby yep it was
00:41:45
our first sport at five as well as Athletics at Clifton Rugby Club uh both Mom and Dad played for Clifton as well
00:41:52
so yeah it was the first thing that Mom and Dad did when we were able to was to go and reg at the Clifton Rugby Club and
00:41:58
experience rugby yeah so so you play rugby um then when it gets to sort of tackle age you're smaller than all the
00:42:04
other kids so you switch to soccer instead and then um and then sprinting comes into the picture and then um
00:42:12
there's like a like a like a talent search yeah um called go for gold y absolutely started in 2012 right um so
00:42:20
you're how old then I was 16 yep so I was year 12 at high school um initially
00:42:26
I was like oh yeah cool like go go do a trial and the very first trial that we did in the Niki was a beep test or a
00:42:34
yo-yo test one of the other um Sprint test so 10 m 20 m 40 m Sprint and then just basic fundamental skills so catch
00:42:42
and pass tackle breakdown stuff um real basic stuff and then I think I'm going
00:42:47
to say roughly 40 50 necky girls of all ages of all experiences um went to that trial uh and then it got cut down to
00:42:56
about 20 to go to the next one in the Nai and that one was where um Shan horen who was the coach at the time came and
00:43:02
um watched that trial and from there he picked his um his I guess you Squad members and so it was myself Gail Bron
00:43:10
and Lauren bayin um and yeah so us three nacky girls were the ones that trained at home and um went to camps here and
00:43:18
there at this time Gil was 15 as well so she's still a kid and I was I went to
00:43:23
the first um seven camp in Wu June 2012 and I was the youngest there and honey Hy would have been I think it was either
00:43:31
honey or levinia gold who now plays for the Broncos um were the oldest they were
00:43:37
I'm going to say late 20s 30 maybe um so yeah there was just a wide variety of
00:43:44
talent age rugby experience and everything um and so that was my sevens Journey that's where it started in wudo
00:43:52
2012 so when that campaign's called go for gold do you know that it's um about
00:43:56
to be introduced is an Olympic sport well not really um initially I was just cuz the way that Mom told me that I made
00:44:02
the squad was I didn't really think of it too much as like oh I could go to the
00:44:06
Olympic Games it was oh I could try out a new sport but she came into my room um
00:44:12
one night when she was in the process of saying good night to all four kids she comes into my room and I was like Mom do
00:44:17
you know if I made the squad or no and she was like okay you did but she was working at
00:44:22
the Rugby Union at the time the next insed yeah so she got all the Insight before me and so yeah you did but don't
00:44:29
tell anyone I was like H cool I like okay sweet um and so at the initial moment of trialing no I was like just
00:44:38
try out a new sport but the more camps I went to and the more they talked about it they more the more you know video
00:44:45
clips they showed we had Lisa Carrington come in and talk um in one of our camps
00:44:49
I think it was 200 13 maybe um so the more people that got involved into our environment and our program the more I
00:44:58
realized oh okay this is actually quite serious um but I was also at the time at
00:45:04
high school so the 2016 Olympic game goal was unrealistic to me at the time I was just super grateful to try a new
00:45:13
sport and play rugby in the weekends but also play soccer at the same time um so
00:45:18
at that moment of time I wasn't too serious on the goal it was just a matter
00:45:22
of getting used to the game of sevens and then you so you find out you're in the National him when you're
00:45:27
still at school what what's that that's crazy it was crazy because all of a
00:45:30
sudden I went from your average high school kid that was playing soccer in the weekends uh to having to train
00:45:37
nearly every day before and after school and it was a really fast transition for
00:45:41
me um especially because our team wasn't full-time or professional but we were
00:45:46
treated like full-time professional athletes so there was a training program we had to follow uh all of a sudden
00:45:52
we're getting taught about you know protein supplements um batch testing so all of a
00:45:58
sudden we're now getting drug tested as teenagers so we had to be wary of what
00:46:02
we were putting in our bodies um understanding recovery some obviously were starting to represent um New
00:46:10
Zealand in 2012 with oceas and then the World Series kicked off in December 2012
00:46:16
for women so all of a sudden we were chucked into a professional environment without actually having that much
00:46:22
buildup to it um Plus for some of us going to school or the ones that weren't
00:46:27
at school they were working um so it was a real fast transition that we had to get used to very very quickly if we
00:46:34
wanted to go to the Rio Olympic Games and did for those early games did you did you feel like you belonged there or
00:46:40
did you feel like an impostor or I felt horribly lift out like uh as a and this is going to sound potentially a little
00:46:48
bit weird but I was one of the very few Parky hard girls in the squad um there was myself Lauren up until 20 2 Cy braia
00:46:58
was another um frequent member as well obviously and so I found it very hard to fit into a culture that I was not used
00:47:07
to whatsoever and so I was so shy I barely spoke to any I stuck to Gail's hip so bad like she was the person that
00:47:15
I had to stick by Otherwise I didn't get along with anyone and I was scared of
00:47:20
everyone and you know they are very they're not intimidating women whatsoever but they are very powerful
00:47:27
woman with presence um not only that but they're strong people as well like Linda
00:47:32
iunu ridiculously strong running to her shoulders and you're knocked out um the
00:47:37
very first Camp um I was doing a drill with Ruby Tui and I was holding a tackle shield and she just carried in like a
00:47:44
normal um drill but I fell on my ass and sea yelled at me and I'm 16 like I'm a
00:47:49
kid learning a sport and so I started crying and Lauren was just like come on mg you're okay let's keep going I was
00:47:55
like okay like I was I felt so lonely in every Camp I hate I loved coming home um
00:48:04
but it took me a long time to find my place and my confidence in the squad which is completely natural as someone
00:48:10
who was a 16-year-old um girl learning how to be a professional athlete around these women
00:48:17
who had been either playing rugby for quite a while or was a blackon um so finding my place did take a little bit
00:48:25
but when I did I started to Blossom and um I now feel like I'm one of those leaders who just had to be their
00:48:35
authentic self um I'm definitely one of the like most blunt honest ones in the
00:48:39
team uh but that took a long time to find me as a human in a black friend sens environment yeah and I don't think
00:48:48
there's any any way to sort of FasTrack that like um no definitely not you weren't that person at 16 and also
00:48:54
people would be like who the [ __ ] is this kid yeah literally everyone around yeah literally yeah literally but the
00:49:00
funny the one moment that um cuz growing up like I we might touch onto it but obviously the body image thing was a
00:49:07
huge thing for me mentally I never struggled to grow my shoulders like they grew just like that when I was seven
00:49:14
from sprinting um and I was always teased about it and so when I went to one of the camps oh it still makes me go
00:49:23
like why um we went to this Camp it would have been the the third or fourth Camp it was quite warm and so um I had a
00:49:31
Singler on under like a normal training top so I took on my training top had my Singler on uh and Linda ionu who is one
00:49:38
of the just most impactful woman rugby players in New Zealand um and she's she's not little obviously she was a
00:49:47
number eight in her time uh and I took my top off and she was like whoa Michaela you've got quite big shoulders
00:49:55
for a little white and I was like oh thanks and I just wanted to cry I was just like man even in this environment
00:50:03
surrounded by professionals I still get pointed out and it just made me feel like [ __ ] like I I find it so funny now
00:50:10
and there was no way I was going to say anything to bendy and if she does hear this it's hilarious bendy I promise um
00:50:16
but yeah at the time I was just like great cool so I chucked my shirt back on and I just yeah I struggled so much with
00:50:24
trying to fit into an environment when the whole point of being in that environment was to be strong and it's
00:50:29
took a long time for me to get used to well you you just embarrassed cuz you look you look different or you were
00:50:33
self-conscious 100% both yeah you had nickname say like the whole can Terminator yeah I got teased so bad as a
00:50:40
kid um and it it was it just absolutely destroyed my confidence growing up so um
00:50:48
when I was writing SL when the author was writing my book strike hard I was in the middle of therapy sessions
00:50:57
um trying to find a way to love myself again uh cuz for so long as a young girl growing up having strong shoulders was
00:51:07
frowned upon like it wasn't something that people admired it was something that you were teased about and I
00:51:12
couldn't help it like I generally just did Athletics for so long and obviously
00:51:16
sprinting develops strength in your shoulders and um and then as I started playing rugby they obviously have to
00:51:22
grow cuz you got to get through contact um and so it took a long time for me to accept it like if you are if you if I
00:51:30
was sitting here 12 months ago I wouldn't wear this shirt like there was just nothing that I would do that would
00:51:35
showcase any strength I would hide it like baggy clothes BG clothes sweatshirt 100% yeah it took a long time for me to
00:51:44
truly go out and wear stuff that potentially showcase my strength and so that's why I loved your podcast with
00:51:51
Lisa Carrington because she's an she's strong man like oh you can't help but admire it and so she
00:51:59
obviously talks about it every now and then and I remember this one um doco or it might have been this podcast can't
00:52:05
remember but she said if you know being a champion makes me look like this I love it I was like oh yes I'm an Olympic
00:52:13
gold medal Champion twice and I look like this yes and you should be proud too like it's a it's a it's a high
00:52:20
performing functioning body it is yeah the the fact that it took so long for me to be like I need need this body to be
00:52:28
able to run fast tackle hard fend people in the face to get back up again and if
00:52:33
if I got smashed and a tackle like if it weren't for that I would have struggled
00:52:37
big time um so now I'm in a place where I'm so thankful for what my body can do
00:52:42
because every single muscle in my body has a purpose when I run out onto that R field and I think that's so strong and
00:52:50
so powerful to to have that strength um when we play such a brutal sport yeah I'm so pleased you found you found peace
00:52:59
with it but I'm I'm alarmed that a long time I'm alarmed that it was it's only
00:53:03
been like the past year literally yeah and my therapist um when I first spoke to her I was just in tears cuz I I
00:53:11
wanted to be able to love myself for how I looked I wanted to stop looking in a mirror and thinking damn I wish I didn't
00:53:19
have these shoulders or oh you can see my biceps I'm going to put a shirt on or
00:53:23
whatever um it's different in the gym like when I'm in the gym I'm wearing a
00:53:28
Singler I'm with my teammates everyone's doing the same thing like in that
00:53:32
environment it's different outside of it when I'm not around my teammates or I'm
00:53:38
at a social media event or a public event or whatever that's where I went into my shell um and don't want to wear
00:53:45
anything revealing or you know outlining my arms or anything like that so it's
00:53:52
taken a good solid 27 years to accept that for how I look so the uh therapy is that like a a sports therapist or just y
00:54:01
so she specializes in um body image body dysmorphia Eating Disorders ex like that
00:54:07
sort of Avenue um she's she's not really sporty at all which was great I've been
00:54:12
surrounded by sport s since I was 16 and so that's all I knew and was used to
00:54:17
talking to but talking to someone who had no idea what rugby was really was so refreshing um and she looked at me as
00:54:25
just Michaela the human being that needed help and so that was really comforting for me and it instantly made
00:54:33
me feel so comfortable talking to her it was always through Zoom um but it made me feel so comfortable talking to her
00:54:39
about my private life because she was never going to compare it to my Rugby life it was just me as a human being and
00:54:46
she wanted to help me as a human being and so yeah it it took a year of therapy sessions but um I'm so glad I did them
00:54:55
cuz now I've just this new bright confidence um that I don't think people
00:55:01
anyone would be able to knock down at the moment really [ __ ] you're unstoppable it
00:55:07
could come across as a little bit of arrogance but two gold medals I think you've earned the right to be a little
00:55:13
bit arrogant like I'll always you know I'll always keep my humility there but
00:55:17
if I I can't hide the who I am I I want to be my authentic self and and if that
00:55:24
means wearing shirts like this then I'm happy to do that M yeah were there any
00:55:28
um like aha moments from that therapy or you know like key takeaways that spring
00:55:32
to mind that you could pass on to anyone that's listening to this that are self-conscious about aspects of their
00:55:36
own body that's a lot of selft talk um for me I constantly put myself down constantly put myself down and and so
00:55:44
mentally in my brain all the time it was no your shoulders are tub you need to cover that or um you look too strong you
00:55:51
need to wear a jacket so I was constantly in my head like this rotating all the time so then the tool for me
00:55:59
that worked heaps was selft talk and so looking in a mirror and just saying to myself man you look good or I look
00:56:07
beautiful today or Michaela you look amazing like just constantly giving myself that um positive
00:56:14
reinforcement uh automatically your body start and your mind starts to believe in
00:56:19
these sort of things the mind is ridiculous when it comes to professional sport it loves to put self-doubt in your
00:56:24
brain it loves to put you down and so by Def by trying to fight that by putting positiveness in my brain um really
00:56:31
helped me see myself in that positive light rather than putting on a mask and just laughing off when someone commented
00:56:39
about my shoulders now I'm like yeah I am strong or yeah I do have big shoulders but I can also tackle people
00:56:45
um and I can run fast and I can do really cool things on the Rugby field um and in the gym so yeah it's just
00:56:53
constant selft talk that helped me stay as positive as I could possibly be do you what happens do you sort of catch
00:57:00
yourself every now and then like with negative negative in a voice yeah definitely Y and then what you just um
00:57:06
try and sort of yeah just try and talk myself out of it um whether it's just
00:57:11
reminding myself yeah but look at what you've got um or yeah but look at your
00:57:15
job or the people that love you um someone who has just been an incredible rock for me has been Michael um he's
00:57:23
just been constantly reminding me like you're beautiful no matter what you look
00:57:27
like um and I don't need to kind of I don't need to have book shoulders or I
00:57:35
don't need to have whatever to be who I am like who I am as a human being is far
00:57:40
more important um and so I kept reminding myself that as well but yeah I have definitely gone into moments where
00:57:48
I've been like oh man like it that was a comment today um and I've told Michael
00:57:54
and I've had my tears and then moved on from it so um there is still processes
00:57:58
in place that I have to remind myself about with uh but yeah it's it's put me
00:58:03
in such a different light um and it definitely led to me respecting um who I am as an athlete and
00:58:13
who I am as a human being far more than what I used to even a year ago yeah thanks for opening up about that stuff
00:58:20
it's good it's really cool yeah um you had um Mee C on the um the podcast as
00:58:25
well cricketer of like just you know an absolute bully to herself with voice and
00:58:33
it's hard I suppose it with with what you with what she does and what you do
00:58:36
like you you don't want to give yourself a free pass and go too easy on yourself
00:58:39
but then it's not helpful eh to kick your own ass every minute of the day no
00:58:44
especially because both here and I are in a very professional environment like when she just suddenly was huge on the
00:58:51
internet after what she did in her Cricket days um we exactly the same you know we're constantly in a high
00:58:58
performance environment uh fighting to be selected in a team to play for our country uh and
00:59:06
so it's such a Cutthroat environment that we're in so it's important that we
00:59:12
have to love ourselves and to give oursel that love and that time to just uh like release ourselves whatever um
00:59:21
because the world that we live in is Harsh uh but that's what we sign up for
00:59:26
being rugby players and um so yeah it's important that we have that time to to
00:59:32
look at ourselves and love ourselves and still have that time to you know if we need to be negative you know go be
00:59:40
negative but come back to um who you are as a human who you are as a person um so
00:59:46
yeah it's taken a long time to to perfect that process um but yeah it's probably an ongoing work in progress
00:59:54
100% yeah there's always new challenges that come upon us um now being obviously
01:00:00
more in the spotlight uh and being on TV all the time so you know there's there's
01:00:06
that pressure as well that external pressure of trying to impress people when we actually don't need to um but
01:00:12
just to perform for our country we've got the whole country on our shoulders
01:00:16
expecting us to perform really really well so yes it's hard you you guys um yeah you guys have done so well like I I
01:00:24
remember like when I was younger like the the men's seven seven te was always
01:00:27
a big deal it felt like it was a feeder for the All Blacks in a way defin you know the training ground for like Jonah
01:00:33
and Cali um andert name here sort of thing now I couldn't name any of the guys but I can name so many of the
01:00:39
female team yeah you guys have done that yeah no we um we set a goal years ago uh
01:00:46
to obviously establish ourselves as one of the greatest teams in the world uh I think we've done that I truly do um if
01:00:53
we look at an Olympic Games for example we have only lost one game in our whole Olympic campaign and that was the final
01:01:01
obviously in Rio to Australia otherwise we've won every single game and so we
01:01:07
have to celebrate that we have to put that out for the people to hear to hear how successful we are but it obviously
01:01:15
doesn't come easy we've worked so hard um for the successes that we have
01:01:20
whether it is Olympic Games or commonwealths or World Cups or World Series and you know that's hard it's so
01:01:27
hard um but a lot of people obviously see the glorified version of it they see us having fun on the Rugby field or they
01:01:35
see on social media the sponsorships that we get um the opportunities of traveling the world but on the outside
01:01:44
mentally and physically it is such a tough job and you've got to be able to handle it um because it's just so not
01:01:53
easy for any sport in general to be honest for high performance sport um but yeah it's it's a type of job where if
01:02:02
you if you can't handle it it will make you crumble um as honest as I can possibly be there so yeah there's um
01:02:11
there's the love for the game but there's also the love of wanting to do
01:02:14
your country and your family and yourself proud while wearing the black juicy and that's a lot of pressure a lot
01:02:20
of pressure yeah yeah these are some of the some of the points that you brought up in your email to me that you wanted
01:02:25
to discuss um yeah the constant pressure of representing the country is that what
01:02:28
you're talking about definitely yep um must be all consuming at times it can be
01:02:33
yeah absolutely and I think that's why um at the moment like I'm on such a good
01:02:38
mental and emotional break from rugby um as soon as we won Gold um and I'll touch
01:02:45
on it as well with my um Journal writing as soon as we won Gold and done our medal ceremony I went over to Michael
01:02:52
and I gave him a hug and I whispered into his ear I don't want to do this again like it was just so tiring when
01:03:00
you are constantly thinking about the same goal which was obviously to win gold um it is time consuming it is
01:03:07
mentally consuming it just becomes the be all and Endor like and although it's not like it
01:03:15
doesn't Define who you are as a human being but for so long it is prioritized
01:03:20
that anything less than gold for us was disappointing 100% we would have cried if we were candidate or USA right now we
01:03:26
would not be celebrating the way that they are right now um it's just the standards that we have for wearing a
01:03:33
black juy and I think that's the other thing as well is as naturally being a
01:03:37
black juy representative in New Zealand we are always going to be naturally expected to win it's the same for the
01:03:43
All Blacks the same for the black F even the all black sevens actually even The Moldy All Blacks like if you are wearing
01:03:50
a black juicy for New Zealand you have a natural expectation from your country to
01:03:54
win because it's our nation sport um it's probably the same for USA basketball or you know ice hockey or
01:04:02
whatever in Canada like it is our sport it is our country that um has put rugby on the map and we're so tiny we're such
01:04:10
a small country and so we want to do New Zealand Proud by winning all the time but when we don't it's it's actually
01:04:16
really hard to deal with yeah the weight of expectation is huge if you if you guys don't win gold it's almost like
01:04:21
you've choked exactly exactly and and people start to judge and people start
01:04:26
to think that they're the next Black FR s's coach and they start to select us
01:04:31
and on the couch at home and it's actually like it's all social media crap
01:04:35
but it is actually quite confronting when you see things on social media saying oh no she's well done your time
01:04:42
she needs to be dropped bring in this person what's the coach doing why did they do this um when they've got no idea
01:04:49
what our environment is like and the natural pressure that we have of winning um so yeah it is cons it's just it's
01:04:58
really exhausting to be honest um but on the flip side it is so enjoyable being a
01:05:05
part of an environment that is super successful um and winning back toback gold it is a very very good
01:05:12
feeling very good feeling um are you are you good at um blocking out that noise and ignoring the Social Media stuff or
01:05:18
um does it depending what mood you're in when you read it uh I wasn't like a probably the
01:05:26
Social Media stuff started a little bit more when I won World rugby player of the year the first time because all of a
01:05:33
sudden I had a name in World rugby and I had a reputation and so naturally I had
01:05:39
the pressure in my own head okay I've just won World rugby woman sens player
01:05:43
of the year that means I have to be the best rugby player on the field all the time um that means I have to score three
01:05:49
tries in every game that means I have to win every tournament every time we play
01:05:54
so that's what I was was putting through my own head so when I made mistakes uh
01:05:59
which I did literally straight after winning that award the first time in Dubai we got fifth because I made a
01:06:04
mistake essentially um all of a sudden I went into a really dumb hole of yeah that was
01:06:11
your fault or you're you're already blowing your reputation and then the
01:06:16
funny thing was that N9 months later I won it again so it was a stupid stupid process that I put my head through but
01:06:22
initially yes um but because I was starting to be on social media more I was featured in highlights more I was
01:06:29
playing more so um my name was getting out there nowadays not at all not at all um I know who I am as a rugby player I
01:06:39
know my strength and I know my place in this team uh it took a long time to get to that point but um I the one thing I
01:06:48
hope is that for all of the members of our team all of my sisters um to have that same feeling of belonging in this
01:06:55
team um I know my belonging but again it took so long to get to that point um and
01:07:01
so Social Media stuff for me does make no it's no impact for me whatsoever it
01:07:07
annoys me when I see people comment about my own teammates like that's what actually makes me most mad is when
01:07:12
people comment about my other teammates and I'm like you don't even know who
01:07:16
these humans are like what gives you the right to tell them that they average rugby players actual shush your lips
01:07:22
shush your lips go to work stop stop embarrassing yourself like you actually look like a fool oh oh that's
01:07:34
hilarious it's so true though but it's yeah it's annoying it's irritating he it
01:07:38
is um oh another thing you sent in your email you want to about the um selfishness of training as a high
01:07:43
performance athlete yeah um yeah this must have been um oh so so you and Michael you got
01:07:50
together after the Tokyo Olympics we were seeing each other pre it okay um and then our second date was in April
01:07:59
2021 right um and we both said at this time Michael actually hadn't qualified
01:08:04
for Tokyo so his rowing eight crew still needed to go to Switzerland to go to the
01:08:10
um to the last regetta to qualify their boat for Tokyo so he was going through that process I was going through
01:08:17
obviously middle of the season um about to leave to go to Australia for a month to train there to hopefully get selected
01:08:24
for Tokyo so his his place or his process was a little bit different to mine um but we both said to each other
01:08:32
then um we have to get a gold medal first then we can pursue this we saw each other a few times after that but it
01:08:40
wasn't it wasn't essentially exclusive um he had to keep our relationship for
01:08:45
as a secret for a little bit because the rowing bubble um had done their own personal bubble which meant they
01:08:53
couldn't leave Cambridge um they literally could only go to the training field to their own home and even if they
01:08:59
went to the supermarket like they had to do online shopping um because they still
01:09:04
needed to qualify their boat so they couldn't afford to get sick genuinely couldn't afford to be sick uh when they
01:09:09
were doing miq before going to Tokyo um and so I was the one going to Cambridge and I always made sure that I
01:09:19
was healthy cuz if I bought something to Cambridge and gave it to Michael and then he gave it to a squad that's that's
01:09:26
me gone like I needed to rewipe my will cuz it would have been horrendous um so yeah we had to keep it a secret for a
01:09:34
little bit uh and so we got to Tokyo we hadn't seen each other for a couple months and so it was like we had to stay
01:09:41
this distance as well when we saw each other in Tokyo but yeah we had to put our performance first before pursuing
01:09:48
our relationship so when we both won Gold which was absolutely bizarre cuz we literally said to each other let's go
01:09:54
win gold first then we can start you know being in a relationship so we did was like sweet did you when you came
01:09:59
back to New Zealand after that did you do mq together no no not together um we were in separate rooms which was
01:10:05
probably a good thing and then I went to Cambridge as soon as we got back from um
01:10:13
miq and I drove to Cambridge and then literally the next day we had lockdown so essentially we did imq together in
01:10:20
his house in Cambridge so we we we'd only been official uh for like two weeks
01:10:25
and then we lived with each other for 3 weeks so we just chucked our relationship right in the deep in and
01:10:29
see if it survived and it did now we're getting married so it obviously went
01:10:32
okay would have been an appalling idea right that early stage of the relationship y definitely um yeah well I
01:10:39
suppose he he's in an interesting position you know getting back to this um selfishness of training as a high
01:10:43
performance athlete thing because um uh he's he's no longer doing it um but he
01:10:48
must have an understanding or an appreciation of exactly what goes into it definitely um having someone in my
01:10:55
bubble I guess going back to co but um so having someone in my corner who completely understands the
01:11:03
discipline um I don't want to use the word sacrifice cuz we make a lot of hard
01:11:07
choices but sacrifice is quite a strong word and I don't like using it but we
01:11:12
make a lot of hard choices um to put our sport first and it's important that in
01:11:18
this day and age especially as a female rugby player that we make the most out of what we get given um because is when
01:11:26
I move on from rugby this is what I'm assuming when I move on from rugby the lifestyle I live
01:11:33
will not be extravagant as what it is right now and so I'm going to make the
01:11:37
most of every opportunity that I get given and he's extremely supported of that and he will always make sure that
01:11:44
he is there for me um whether it is you know a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen to Because when it comes to the
01:11:53
stress of training and Performing he know knows exactly what it feels like um and so I'm very fortunate to have
01:11:59
someone like him to support me in that way I'm also more fortunate to have him
01:12:05
in my corner because he retired straight after Tokyo and so he's now going through a really cool process of after
01:12:12
sport life and I'm going to have to go through the same thing so when I retire
01:12:17
he's going to be not essentially U my coach but he'll be my number one supporter that will be like right let's
01:12:23
do this together cuz mentally it's going to be a train wreck probably that's what
01:12:28
I'm assuming anyway so um you it's such a big part of your life for so many
01:12:31
years huge yes it's defined your entire 20s exactly yeah like i' I don't know
01:12:36
any different I went from school to essentially being a full-time athlete without getting paid as one while also
01:12:45
milking the cows cuz I needed to earn money um to then living in toonga and only doing rugby I never went to UNI I
01:12:53
tried uni distance learning but I sucked um I've never had any other job this is
01:12:58
essentially my very first full-time job and so it's going to be the same for
01:13:03
someone like Georgia or manah nooku mahina Paul who literally was contracted straight after school so yeah it's going
01:13:11
to be important for when I retire whenever that may be um that Michael's going to be there to guide me on this
01:13:18
mental Journey so he's going through it at the moment and he's just oh God I'm
01:13:24
so proud to call him my future husband cuz he's just absolutely smashed it he's
01:13:27
had his obstacles and he's had his challenges um but he's predominantly done it by himself uh and if it was
01:13:35
anyone else you know they would have absolutely crumbled so yeah I'm going to
01:13:40
definitely need him when I retire because it's going to be a different mindset that I'm going to have to change
01:13:46
from being a high performance athlete to being a Nori a civilian civilian yeah yeah you those ear points will last you
01:13:54
for a few years I know I'm not traveling anywhere after r b cuz I won't be able to afford business class
01:13:59
so I'm soaking it up while I can by the way by the way short people like you in
01:14:03
business class make me sick I know I'm so sorry I honestly feel bad sometime no
01:14:07
but what makes me what annoys me oh is when I see like a 2-year-old in business class outage I'm like you don't even
01:14:14
respect this like get to economy now like oh when I see little kids in business class that's what IRS me but
01:14:23
you know they obvious in a very privileged position so good on them but I can tell you now our future kids ain't
01:14:29
sitting in business class they can earn that you couldn't even get can you even
01:14:34
get your feet on the New Zealand Automan um no sometimes sometimes I'm sitting in my
01:14:39
chair and I'm like this but yeah like for someone like Michael he's 6'2 and when he he's like his knees are
01:14:46
up against the I feel so bad I feel so bad for that but it's my life so it's my
01:14:53
career choice I'm going to accept it while I can yeah now you you um mentioned the um the r word before
01:15:00
retirement um I listened to a podcast um that you did way back in August 2018 um and this is a quote from that
01:15:07
podcast um so what's that six years ago six years ago how old are you now I would have been 22 22 okay so this is um
01:15:14
Michaela BL at 22 if I make it to the Paris Olympics and I'm still in the sevens team at the age of 28 that would
01:15:21
be my dream so that that was uh you at 22 in August 2018 that was that was you putting a Line in the Sand wow now this
01:15:28
is where we are like Loki makes me emotional I don't know why holy [ __ ] yeah
01:15:35
um I don't know why that's making me emotional but I think it's just cuz I'm
01:15:40
so proud like there's so many things that I said when I was a kid that I wanted to do and there's so many things
01:15:47
that I've put on paper and I've manifest and it's happened and so like knowing
01:15:52
that at 22 that was what I was dreaming of like this hadn't even happened yet so I was
01:15:59
thinking so far ahead and I think I'm just so proud that I'm someone who when
01:16:04
I set a goal I will make sure that no one gets in my way to achieve that so yeah that sounds weird and in so many
01:16:12
ways knowing that I said that but um I've still got more to give I definitely have more to give yeah um
01:16:20
it's quite funny when when you're 22 28 seems very old yeah you get to 28 and
01:16:25
you realize okay yeah do you know what it would have been because I've been in this team since I
01:16:31
was 16 and so the idea of being in this team 12 years later from when I was 16 would have been bizarre like it would
01:16:39
have been unrealistic in my eyes um but yeah now that I've hit that point um I
01:16:48
definitely have more to give not right now um I'm not today not today I'm so
01:16:55
like I'm so mentally and emotionally exhausted from rugby right now and my coach he's just oh he's a gy I've known
01:17:03
Corey for so so long and he's been in my corner and had my back for so long when
01:17:08
I was constantly not selected from 2014 to 2016 like he was the first person that said you've got this um and he's
01:17:18
given me a good period of time for me to just step back um and so I'm going to take that
01:17:26
time to just be Michaela blide and plan a wedding cuz I'm so excited to get married can't wait to Mary
01:17:33
Michael like he's just changed my life massively and it's so weird because like
01:17:40
as a little girl for special I don't know why I think it was because I had three brothers and so like as a little
01:17:47
girl I was that person that was like oh who am I going to marry or what's my
01:17:51
last name going to be and I know that now and it's such a weird feeling like
01:17:56
it's a when you know you know kind of feeling but um he's just been such a
01:18:02
huge rock for me since Tokyo cuz I went through so many after Tokyo I was like dead set on this being my last
01:18:11
tournament I was like no that will be my last one but now that it's happened I
01:18:16
know mentally and emotionally that I can't give anymore right now to rugby but I will give back when I can and how
01:18:24
I can through this um through social media um through talking about our stories but also by being present with
01:18:32
the people that I love most um because that way when I go back to rugby um and I have a new last name I'm going to give
01:18:41
my all I'm someone that when I'm there I am 110% all in I'm not half assing
01:18:48
anything so I need to rebuild that energy and refill my cup to then go back into the environment to be annoying Mani
01:18:56
who's trying to beat everyone even though everyone's my teammate how um hey
01:19:01
thanks for thanks for um sharing that and being so open about it I think it's
01:19:05
that quote it's it's really [ __ ] cool you've done it I know that's so weird
01:19:10
you've done those things those things um yes so how long of a break are you planning on having um I've given myself
01:19:19
until the middle of October to go back to rugby uh it could be longer um are you are you kidding me I I was thinking
01:19:26
like a year two years like a month or two yeah I'm talking about like 10 weeks
01:19:31
but I've I've been given longer but I just I know I the thing is with our
01:19:37
leave um the thing is with our leave is that we get given 6 weeks but by like week three we have to start doing stuff
01:19:45
and I was like hell no I've done this for 12 years like I don't need that so
01:19:50
um I'm probably not going to start doing any sort of proper training on till
01:19:55
October November um because I want to go into this I've I'm sick of having random
01:20:01
niggles like my toe hurts my foot hurts my hammies are got like I got cramp in my hamstring a week ago and I had Doms
01:20:09
from that cramp for like a week like I just need to rest my body um and so when I go into pre-season whenever that may
01:20:17
be I want to just rebuild my strength and my speed from from literally square one so but when it comes to next season
01:20:26
um I'm as strong as I possibly can be um because I don't want to be that athlete
01:20:32
um like I want to earn my right back in the team I want to earn my selection cuz
01:20:36
that's all I'm used to um and that's all I know so I don't want to go back into
01:20:40
the environment and be like hey I'm back like I I've got no cemented role in the
01:20:47
team um I know my place in the squad but I've still got a trial so I don't want
01:20:52
to come into the um environment and just expect to be selected straight away like
01:20:56
I want to earn my right to be selected again um so that's probably going to be
01:21:01
my mindset from November is this year onwards and then you you've got the wedding next year what about um kids
01:21:08
have you guys discussed kids you want Absolut yep no it's a uh I won't go too
01:21:13
deep on it but yeah it is a touchy subject um is that why it is um I think because Michael's in a place where he is
01:21:22
ready for kids um I'm totally as well but I also have I'm in a place where I'm
01:21:29
I'm in a very privileged position with rugby um and I I want to make the most
01:21:36
of representing my country um I want to make the most of the support that we get
01:21:42
given financially and so when I go I'm the type of person who has seen every
01:21:48
stage of Parenthood when I first made the team in 2016 Kyla wher just gave birth so she was in our environment and
01:21:56
breastfeeding so she had to like leave training to go and breastfeed her first son um I've also seen KY braia whose
01:22:03
wife has given birth to two lovely boys but I've seen her come into the environment exhausted and she wasn't
01:22:09
even one that gave birth she was tired and everything I've also seen uh dice
01:22:15
Folia funger uh who's got beautiful twin boys um go from giving birth at a young
01:22:23
age of 21 or 22 to then fighting for her position back in the squad and it is hard it is so so hard and so selfishly I
01:22:34
want to make sure I don't want to have kids and come back to rugby I've set
01:22:38
that in concrete like if I have kids that's me done with rugby because I want
01:22:42
to 100% wholeheartedly give my love care and attention to my kids um I want to be
01:22:49
their Hands-On I've seen NY Williams even miss her kid's birthday so many
01:22:54
times and it sucks like I've seen her upset because she wants to be there for her
01:22:58
daughter's first day of school but she couldn't because she was off playing
01:23:01
rugby um and so while I'm in this position I'm going to give all I can to
01:23:08
rugby um so then when I go away from rugby I don't have the urge to want to come back that's the feeling I want to
01:23:16
avoid I I want to give everything so I can park it and go on to the next phase of life so yeah kids are 100% um in the
01:23:25
convo um but we've both we both um have set that it's going to be um when I know
01:23:34
that I'm 100% ready to be a mom so Michael if you're watching this um went
01:23:40
until after the LA games in four years or actually you only be 32 you like you could re oh I can tell you this now
01:23:50
uh I think Paris will be my last one I'm I'm almost oh last Olympics really not
01:23:57
thinking about La no not at all um reason being is that one I want to I want to be a mom uh I don't and this
01:24:07
isn't to to go against any athlete who's done it differently everyone's got their
01:24:11
own journey and their own way of doing things but I don't want to be having my
01:24:14
first kid at 30 that could be the case naturally like you know the way of life um but I I still want to go away from
01:24:26
rugby in a really good physical position um with a you know I don't want to be
01:24:31
broken or anything like that so uh Paris was exhausting but it was so rewarding I
01:24:38
loved it so much and two for me is more than enough um and so obviously I'm contracted till
01:24:48
2026 and the reason is is because um stubbornly I don't want to end my career
01:24:54
on a com games bronze and a World Cup silver because that just irks me so much um so if com games happens uh if it
01:25:03
doesn't then it is what it is but yeah uh 2026 I will absolutely put my all up
01:25:11
until then and then reassess bear in mind um Coastal rowing is in the background and is at the la28 Olympic
01:25:20
Games and so Michael has definitely put interest in that as well so he could be at the Olympic Games in 2028 and if
01:25:26
that's the case sweet I I'll I'll happily let him go and do that and I
01:25:30
will happily have a one-year-old or one and a halfy old at the beach cheering on
01:25:36
dead in the LA Olympics I think that would just be absolutely beautiful so um yeah we we we're not going to go further
01:25:44
than 2026 for now we'll re at the time but um if Paris Olympics was my last Olympics I would be stoked oh
01:25:54
ex how could you not be yeah um yeah it be I mean there's only two ways you end
01:25:59
a career like they say like it's unceremoniously dumped pretty much or you leave on your own terms and I want
01:26:05
to leave on my own terms 100% that's always been um that's always been the
01:26:11
intention uh leaving it on my own terms just gives you that little bit of control um in your career a lot of when
01:26:20
it comes to our career obviously we're the ones that are training hard but there a lot of people above us that can
01:26:27
determine how your career goes so I'm going to avoid that as much as possible
01:26:32
I I want to be able to um do what I can while being in the position that I'm in
01:26:37
with rugby sevens yeah okay so there was that quite I read up before from you from um August 2018 so that six years
01:26:45
ago so six years from now what do we manifesting oh God so what's that3 health health three kids under five
01:26:54
three kids under five three is more than enough like I don't know how my mom did
01:27:00
it with four under five at one point plus Dairy farming like buger that um yeah I I what am I going to put out
01:27:08
there uh health and happiness um just literally being in a place where I can look back on my career and be like
01:27:21
I did exactly what I wanted to do I've bear in mind even now I've done everything that you can in the sevens
01:27:27
environment I've I've obviously got Golds and com games World Cup Olympics
01:27:32
I've won this of I literally could not do anymore but there's a couple individual things that I selfishly want
01:27:38
to do so for example I want to be a hit of Porsche with top try scorer love you s but I'm coming for you um how far
01:27:45
behind are you oh I'm not entirely sure I think maybe nineish tries so that's a
01:27:51
couple tourn exactly yeah no I want to be in front of por um I reckon I have the potential to be
01:27:58
the highest capped black FS um sevens player with tournaments I think gosy has that at the moment um gos that SRA s
01:28:06
yeah yeah um Tyler will be the next one and then maybe Porsche so um there's a
01:28:12
few people ahead of me on that but I reckon I have the potential to have that as well depending on when gossi retires
01:28:19
if she retires the same time as me then definitely not but um you must have thought you had her with the KNE I know
01:28:24
I oh I'm catching up to you sis she's awesome she's amazing oh I could go on about here for days um but
01:28:33
yeah so I definitely want to do that stuff as well um just because I'm a competitive Butch and I just want to win
01:28:42
everything that's that's my childhood that's just because that's how we were
01:28:46
bought up so I want to do that you never had a chance yeah um I I I read this somewhere or maybe I heard it on one of
01:28:53
the podcasts that I've listen to that you've been on um about choosing happiness you talk about choosing
01:28:57
happiness what what does that mean exactly I want to be able to live a life where um I'm happy with the decisions
01:29:07
that I've made um I'm obviously going to be extremely happy with my relationship
01:29:12
like Michael is just H he is an angel sent down from the heavens above um to me so definitely happy in that aspect uh
01:29:23
I I just want to like look I want to be that that Mom that sits back and look at
01:29:28
my kids playing in the backyard and being like nothing could be better than this right now um and so that obviously
01:29:36
has external and internal aspects to that uh and so I guess that's I I hear about people who are just so sad with
01:29:45
their life and it makes me sad um so I just want to I love Kanye snoring right now my dog snores too and it's
01:29:52
distracting you're so cute you um I just I just want to be able to live a very
01:29:59
proud life where I couldn't do or give or probably do any different like I just where I'm like yeah this is the
01:30:11
life that I want uh and this is the life that I want to continue living um yeah so that's why I think I always
01:30:20
say to choose happiness and however that looks whatever job it is I don't know what I'm going to do after
01:30:25
rugby like I would love to be involved with sky sport hint hun um I'm also passionate about the police but there's
01:30:33
some people in my life that don't want me to be a police officer which is fine
01:30:36
um Michael does he not want my family like you you've even done some um some
01:30:41
you want to be like a a dog handler yeah yeah I did some ride alongs with um the
01:30:45
toong of police and I loved it it was so cool was it it was so cool Chas down bed
01:30:50
guys in the bush and otai and I saw a dog um grip onto a bad guy's hand and get tased on the ground like it was epic
01:30:58
I loved it but yeah no I've got there's some people that are just like oh I'd
01:31:03
rather you be safe at home I'm like you fair enough but um yeah I also love Skys
01:31:09
sport stuff like I loved the commentating with raki I'd love to be involved in some way shape or form um
01:31:15
because I genuinely love sport like I genuinely really love rugby even outside of playing it it's a beautiful sport and
01:31:21
you meet so many different people so um I would love to do that kind of stuff as
01:31:26
well but when I say choose happiness it's just a matter of being content and
01:31:31
happy with the lifestyle that I live no matter how that looks um I don't want to
01:31:37
be someone who is sad um so yeah that's I think that that's why I just have a
01:31:43
broad goal of just choosing happiness and choosing the lifestyle that I know would make me and my family happy oh I
01:31:50
love that and um oh another thing you messaged me you wanted to talk about um the impact of um journaling and
01:31:56
manifestation on your life yeah I how long how long have you been a journaler um I discovered it in the end of 2020
01:32:05
2020 um so before I met Michael I was in another long-term relationship the rugby player was the
01:32:12
rugby player uh no good stay away stay away rugers R was a far bitter um no some rugby players are
01:32:20
good um I was in a long-term relationship for 5 and 1/ half years and that breakup was hard uh mentally and
01:32:30
emotionally it needed to happen um did it just run its course yep Y when you when you grow up with someone from the
01:32:37
age of 19 your values and moral you change everyone changes during your mid to early 20s and so it needed to happen
01:32:46
um but it was also eight months out from the Olympics and I was like I can't deal
01:32:52
with these emotions in my head and I don't know why I thought about it but I was like I'm going to go to Kmart
01:32:57
and I'm going to buy a journal book and some colorful pens and I'll write my
01:33:00
thoughts in my head so rather than having all these sad emotional random thoughts in my head and trying to
01:33:08
remember why I thought there or how do I process it I'll write it down instead um
01:33:13
and so that's when I started Journal writing was um November is of 2020 and so I've written in a journal every day
01:33:21
since then at the end of the day um and it was just a good way for me to brain dump at the end of the day um some
01:33:29
people do it at the start some people do it in the middle of the day so everyone's got their own processes
01:33:33
around it but I do it at the end of the day and I write down what I did what made me happy um what I'm grateful for a
01:33:41
I write a lot of manifestations and pos positive affirmations um so for uh 6 months leading into Tokyo I did
01:33:50
like a manifestation meditation to win gold um to be happy to find someone that makes me happy and then Michael turned
01:33:57
up so like it's such a strong powerful tool um that you're either open or not
01:34:03
to it but when you put it out to the universe like I was saying to myself I am an Olympic gold medalist um and so
01:34:11
why I wanted to talk about it was because the the scary things that have happened in my career so before Tokyo
01:34:18
with my journal I picked like a couple random pages so I just went flip and then another few pages flip and I'd
01:34:24
write questions so the first question might have been are you happy the next one was have you found someone new and
01:34:31
then another one was are you an Olympic gold medalist I was like yeah this this would be a cool challenge if I end up
01:34:36
turning the page and I see it and be like H okay let's answer that question and so in Tokyo um we had one gold went
01:34:45
back to the Village uh went to go to bed and I flipped the page to write my new Journal piece and on that page was are
01:34:54
you an Olympic gold medalist and so I wrote that literally 6 months before so I have no idea what I'm going to write I
01:35:03
have no no idea how long my piece is it can go from a sentence to half a page and it happened to have been that page
01:35:10
and so when I saw the question I was like yes I am yes I am an Al list um and so like I visualized all these things in
01:35:19
my head with rugby I visualized scoring tries I visualized uh winning finals and it's happened like
01:35:26
it's just one of my tools that I love to use in my career um but also outside of
01:35:31
life outside of um rugby as well and then um I did the same thing with Paris so I I buy a new journal every year and
01:35:40
I wrote you know in a few pages are you this blah blah blah blah blah picked another random page and was like are you
01:35:46
an Olympic gold medalist so completely random and I did this in February is of this year and so on uh it must have been
01:35:56
like 2 days before the final um so day one I flipped the page to start uh my journal piece which I write work hard
01:36:06
strike hard tackle hard before every game day um and there was the question on the morning uh sorry the night of day
01:36:14
one so before our last pool game and I saw the question and I was like holy [ __ ] like there was it was so So Random
01:36:24
it was so weird cuz I don't go back and be like oh what how far is it now like I
01:36:28
just right close right close like I don't check anything or look back on it um and so yeah it was it was literally
01:36:38
the most randomst page that I could select and both times it was either the day of or a couple days before the
01:36:45
Olympic final and there was the question so both times I could write but I wanted
01:36:50
to share this bit because it's actually like I thought it was quite powerful so um
01:36:56
when I uh had won Gold in Paris and I was lying in bed next to Michael and he was snoring but I was just lying I was
01:37:04
just staring at the ceiling and I didn't fall asleep for hours and I was like I'm
01:37:08
going to write some notes down and so this is what I wrote um and this is why I'm really happy to share it cuz it's
01:37:16
actually random stuff um I wrote It's the night of winning and Olympic gold my
01:37:22
emotions are different to Tokyo the first one was amazing I felt so much happiness and joy this time I feel more
01:37:29
so content relief and pride I had a thought go through my head after the warmup of our China pool game man I
01:37:36
really don't want to do this again I snapped myself out of it of course but it did make me think why would I have
01:37:42
that thought going through my head into an Olympic Games in front of thousands of people and my family just what I've
01:37:49
been dreaming of doing since I was little now that we've won I think I know why I genuinely had a feeling of I
01:37:57
really don't want to do that again the stress the anxiety the desire to want
01:38:01
something so bad takes over all other priorities and it's tiring it's been a
01:38:07
physically and mentally tiring 3 years but also extremely rewarding and I wouldn't change a thing I understand the
01:38:13
feeling of when you know you know however that is the feeling of the present moment while cuddling with
01:38:18
Michael after nearly four after nearly 4 months apart that could change when I'm
01:38:22
home and over tired and dehydrated I'm going to enjoy these next few days because when they go I'll miss them and
01:38:29
so I wrote it I wrote it in my notes and then when I got to my journal I wrote it
01:38:34
in my book um and to me I think it's really important sharing those thoughts
01:38:39
and emotions as an athlete um because a lot of people can be quite personable with that sort of stuff they keep it
01:38:45
close to them but um I think I'm now in that part of my career where I want to
01:38:51
share more of that side of me because a lot of people just see me scoring tries but that's not just who I am um I do
01:38:59
have thoughts of moving on I've been playing the sport for such a long time that I'm now creeping closer to the
01:39:06
other side um and so I want people to kind of understand that as athletes at the top of our game we still have these
01:39:15
kind of thoughts um and you know when I do decide to retire whenever that may be
01:39:21
uh I'm going to be extremely happy I'll also be so sad and I can guarantee I'll
01:39:27
go through feelings of oh maybe not maybe it's too soon or it's too early or I might regret it like
01:39:32
I 100% feel like that's going to happen um but yeah it was just this emotional
01:39:38
overwhelming feeling of oh my God that was that was hard I don't want to do that again so yeah it's it was so so
01:39:46
worth it so worth it the last 3 years um but yeah it's journaling has been able
01:39:53
to help me release those feelings and those thoughts and be able to understand a
01:39:57
look back and be like why did I think that or is there a outside reason why I felt like that um and then maybe I can
01:40:04
put it down to this or put it down to that so that's why I think Journal writing has been extremely important for
01:40:09
my career because I've been able to put that in process and put that place and
01:40:14
the manifesting like it worked like you didn't even have to go and find Michael
01:40:18
he slid into your de he slid into my D he came to you he came to me he came to me and it was on the most randomst day
01:40:24
ever I just finished chatting to um one of my mates and I was like to them um you know maybe you know someone's going
01:40:33
to pop up or whatever I'm not going to meet them in the supermarket no one meets their love of their life in the
01:40:37
supermarket these days but it might happen and then I went home that night and saw his message request on my me on
01:40:43
my Instagram and I was like hello did you know who he was had you read it no no I I kind of um was aware of the
01:40:53
rowing Pier being the next heish and Eric um and so I was aware of that story but um I didn't know who he was um and
01:41:05
so it was quite refreshing meeting someone who was not in a rugby environment it was just a breath of
01:41:11
fresh year and yeah he was what I needed yeah oh that's so cool yeah that's
01:41:17
awesome yeah and you mentioned um what was the slogan you write on game days strike um strike hard work hard tackle
01:41:25
hard and strike hard is the name of the um the the kids book that you did I went
01:41:29
around where do you buy it do you have to buy it online oh it's online yeah it's not in stores um so you buy it
01:41:34
online uh through the reading Warrior website um but yeah David Riley is the author um and he just messaged me on
01:41:41
Instagram and because he's done one for Stacy as well um and he said I would
01:41:46
love to I was like and I would love to as well so it's the coolest thing it is
01:41:50
very cool yeah I have to remind myself that it is a really cool thing to talk about your childhood the way that I have
01:41:56
in this book and I think it was the purpose of it for me was to uh talk about who I am from my childhood I have
01:42:04
a very normal childhood I grew up on a farm I love to exercise I love to sport I loved winning I hated losing and I
01:42:11
just had this huge dream of wanting to go to the Olympic games um there is nothing traumatic or like an epiphany or
01:42:20
whatever like it was just a normal childhood that led to me achieving my goals um but coming from a very small um
01:42:29
village of Lipton where there you know when I went to primary school there were only about 90 of us at the primary
01:42:35
school now it's a little bit bigger um you know it's it's hard as a country kid
01:42:40
to think big and to dream big um but I just didn't let that fear me I was like
01:42:46
nah I'm going to I'm going to dream huge and I had I had teachers at high school
01:42:50
tell me that it was unrealistic and so I haven't seen that teacher yet but the
01:42:55
day I do who is it and shame I wish I could let's let's call her Karen for now
01:43:02
but it was yeah and H like um do you think they were just like managing expectations or or do you think I think
01:43:08
teachers being teachers like you've got to go to university and you've got to
01:43:12
have a degree yeah yeah like but for me like I knew I absolutely knew from the moment that I could walk that sport was
01:43:22
going to be my career in some way shape or form and I made that happen that's it
01:43:27
I made it happen I was going to ask you if you're proud of yourself um I asked to a lot of
01:43:33
my guest but I I think I know the answer yep yep I'm proud of myself um I also
01:43:41
have to remind myself uh where I've come from um and how how much hard work I've
01:43:48
put into getting to this point in my career I'm proud of myself because little 16-year-old Michaela did not
01:43:55
think that it was achievable um little 16-year-old Micha didn't think that she had the potential
01:44:03
or the ability to win World rugby woman Simons Player of the Year twice um she definitely didn't think she was going to
01:44:11
get two Golds at the Olympic Games she had the dream of her and she was doing everything that she can to help it to
01:44:17
make it happen um but you have these dreams and it's kind of like a weird feeling when it happens and then
01:44:25
it's almost like this awkward weird feeling at the back of your mind that it
01:44:28
never will happen um but it's still something to obviously strive for but yeah it when it did happen in Tokyo I
01:44:37
was like holy crap like I had this dream since I was five and now it's happened
01:44:42
um so it is a very weird emotion um but I've done so many hard things to make it
01:44:52
happen M it's it's been very rewarding um but moving away from my family um
01:44:59
choosing to not go to my little niece's birthday parties um putting you know all the way down to
01:45:08
choosing what I eat um choosing to not drive home to the Nei because sitting in a car for 8 hours
01:45:17
obviously 4 hours there and back is hard on my back and so making sure that I was
01:45:22
% ready to train at my best physical status on a Monday like there's so many
01:45:30
things that I've had to say no to because this was more important at the time um so now trof it's a very
01:45:38
expensive price though isn't it it is yeah um and unless you're an athlete
01:45:43
yourself it can be very hard to understand um but when you have a duty of uh representing your country
01:45:54
and competing at the biggest sporting event in the world you've got to take it
01:45:58
seriously and I'm someone that takes my job very very seriously um and I'm also
01:46:04
extremely proud to have this job as well so I will absolutely put my all into everything that I can do to do this
01:46:11
Sport and this job proudly that's so cool and um last question what three words would you like
01:46:20
people to like describe you say say it to your the day of your funeral and everyone's standing around and there's
01:46:25
three words that sort of get thrown around that that describe the life that you you you've
01:46:31
LED uh passionately um just a passionate person who will you know give their all that's
01:46:43
not three words but passionate loving um I'm a very loving person I I love hard so
01:46:54
loving uh gosh a third one um passionate loving loyal and I say loyal because uh whether
01:47:10
it's a relationship or a job or um an opportunity I will be loyal to it and give you
01:47:23
wholeheartedly Michaela blide not many I will wholeheartedly give you Michaela blide what's the difference between
01:47:30
Michaela BL and Minnie uh Minnie has an RBF and an RBF resting [ __ ] face um Minnie also looks at her opposition on
01:47:39
the field and goes I'm going to destroy you and uh Minnie also has no mercy for
01:47:46
anyone so she can be quite scary and not a very remorseful person she's there to
01:47:53
absolutely destroy their opposition uh and win everything so that's many um but yeah
01:48:01
Michaela is someone who loves to be personable and um be able to talk to people as human beings I
01:48:11
think a lot of people are aware of me as a rugby player so you know I love talking to people about who I am outside
01:48:18
of there I love talking to others about who they are I'm so fascinated with other people outside of be like the
01:48:23
other day when I met up with Brody I met two of her mates who work for the Rock and the breeze and I was just so
01:48:29
fascinated because I was like wow like you work in media works that is so cool but to them they're just like it's just
01:48:36
my job but I'm like nah like I my job is very repetitive and I love it so much I
01:48:42
love routine but I also am so um isolated as rugby players we just meet rugby and we're always rugby and we're
01:48:50
always talking about it um but when I meet other people outside of it I'm just
01:48:54
so invested in their life like I find it so cool I walked through the stuff office and I was like this is cool like
01:49:00
hi guys there's like 50 computers everywhere like their job they looked really sad but I was like hi like this
01:49:08
is epic it's an office unbelievable yeah just so lame I know it's so lame but I love it I love
01:49:17
hearing about other people and what they do and who they are um rather than just
01:49:23
like their job you know I think it's I think it's very cool how we all have a
01:49:27
different purpose on this Earth and um right now mine is rugby um and other people have other purposes whether it's
01:49:36
in Media or the police or teaching or whatever um so I love hearing about it love hear hearing about other people as
01:49:43
human beings well play your cards right when you retire from rugby maybe you can
01:49:47
get a job at stuff maybe oh I've got a computer I have a wheelie here oh stationary oh he Michela BL this has
01:49:58
been um a you're you're just a breath of fresh air oh thanks um I've been so
01:50:03
excited about this and it hasn't hasn't disappointed it's been wonderful no I
01:50:06
appreciate it I I've seen who you talk to Dom and I see how you connect with
01:50:12
people um and I think it's such a powerful powerful thing to be able to do not a lot of people can be personable
01:50:20
and just talk to humans but I think you do that really really well and so when I
01:50:24
saw your email I was like oh my God yes cuz I know you'll talk to me as a human
01:50:29
being um and I've been on so many podcasts where we talk about rugby and obviously that's who I am it defines a
01:50:35
lot about me um but I'm also an auny I'm a partner um I'm a dog mom like I'm so
01:50:44
much more outside of rugby and so I want people to be able to see that we are very um normal people outside of our job
01:50:52
oh you are there's so much stuff that we didn't even talk about didn't talk about
01:50:56
you having a diploma on dog psychology yeah or your love of shortland Street no I I haven't had a love of shortland
01:51:03
Street for a little bit now unfortunately but yeah I was obsessed with it when I moved away from home
01:51:09
butter chicken like oh butter chick yeah when you left home you you ate butter chicken like every night for two weeks
01:51:14
or something and I had um like a tub of ice cream what's it like two liters a
01:51:20
top stuff yeah um I would get through that in two days yeah cuz I was just so homesick um but
01:51:25
moving away from home I don't know how uni students do it cuz I struggled when
01:51:29
I was 19 like how do 17 18 year olds do it like oh stuff there it was hard so yeah food was like my comforting thing
01:51:39
and it was petex butter chicken and Tip Top Ice Cream this has been this has been great
01:51:45
this is um this is one of my favorite podcasts I've ever done I think there's
01:51:49
so so many cool messages in here and so many takeaways thank you and um yeah thank you so much for everything you've
01:51:55
done for the country at Great sacrifice and um I'm sure whatever the next chapter is of the MCA break story
01:52:02
yeah I literally only changed three lits of my last name it's great so easy one
01:52:07
syllable be word yeah and both of our names are almost exactly the same he's
01:52:12
just one letter less so it's going to confuse so many people and I can't wait
01:52:15
yeah well I can't see what's next cuz whatever you do I'm sure you're going to
01:52:18
you know give it everything you've got and be all at it definitely yeah I'm
01:52:22
some one who is either all in or not in at all so um whatever it looks like I'm
01:52:28
very excited for it and um I will wholeheartedly give everything of Michaela BL to it so it's very exciting
01:52:36
thanks so much for being a guest thank you I loved it