00:00:00
guilt is I did something wrong shame is
00:00:03
I am something wrong and I felt both of
00:00:06
those things I did something wrong I am
00:00:07
something wrong and then when I so I'm
00:00:09
I'm was going to move forward so as I
00:00:11
moved forward doing shop BR in the first
00:00:12
year I had to go see a shrink again
00:00:14
thanks to Mike King he shouted me a
00:00:15
shrink cuz i' hadn't seen one for a
00:00:18
while and I had all the stuff started
00:00:21
come out being sexually molested and I
00:00:23
thought I was holding M memories for
00:00:25
somebody else that's how my mind was
00:00:27
dealing with this oh you're holding like
00:00:29
a memory s someone gave me a memory
00:00:31
stick oh these aren't my memories I must
00:00:33
be holding this for somebody else and I
00:00:35
didn't realize that those memories were
00:00:36
my memories of me that i' suppressed so
00:00:38
I've got all the stuff suppressed
00:00:40
brother that's and when I meet people
00:00:43
have been through trauma even wor way
00:00:44
worse than I've been we compartmentalize
00:00:47
it to survive so we pack it away to try
00:00:49
and move on but you don't realize
00:00:51
throughout your life your fight flight
00:00:52
or freeze yeah and your interactions you
00:00:56
don't even know that are Guided by those
00:00:59
three pillars
00:01:00
and so you when you don't know what's
00:01:02
wrong with you you'll just keep
00:01:03
continuing this this way of Behaving and
00:01:07
when I metet other people like me male
00:01:09
and female who've been on the journey uh
00:01:12
we've got so many similar traits like a
00:01:14
physical mental spiritual Outlet to help
00:01:18
others show them like hey man you're not
00:01:20
crazy you're hurting cuz I was told I
00:01:23
was crazy and then either that I was
00:01:25
dismissed yeah who who told you you were
00:01:27
crazy people were telling me crazy right
00:01:29
and I'm saying you know and think about
00:01:31
families families don't want to deal
00:01:33
with your mental illness which is I'm
00:01:35
not blaming families I'm just saying
00:01:37
they don't have the tools to deal with
00:01:38
it and our parents generation and our
00:01:40
grandparents generation this was this
00:01:43
was one of the ultimate shames to have
00:01:44
have somebody with mental having a
00:01:46
mental breakdown so all of that stuff is
00:01:49
buried and you're dismissed you're
00:01:51
either dismissed and dissolved or told
00:01:54
to just shut your mouth yeah can I just
00:01:57
share a little on her side that when she
00:01:59
said about about the John Coan head when
00:02:01
John Coan would speak about his problems
00:02:03
on the TV and no was around I'd be
00:02:05
telling John to shut up because him
00:02:08
talking was irritating my demons and so
00:02:11
as I go around australasia sometimes me
00:02:14
talking irritates other people's demons
00:02:17
cuz they don't want to hear it they've
00:02:19
they've drunk enough done enough drugs
00:02:21
or done enough whatever they have to
00:02:24
squash it down and when someone else is
00:02:26
speaking as freely as you and I are on
00:02:28
the couch over there could be somebody
00:02:30
going what those two would shut the f up
00:02:32
because man that's freaking me out and
00:02:34
so I understand that now before I used
00:02:37
to think I was I was the problem by for
00:02:40
for talking about I used to have been
00:02:42
made to think that I was crazy cuz I was
00:02:44
speaking out aloud what I realiz that
00:02:46
you're crazy if you don't address this
00:02:48
you talk about s Sir John Ken Mike King
00:02:51
Mike King help me on my journey and um
00:02:54
did you did you know Mike before 2009 no
00:02:57
I mean of course I knew who he was but I
00:02:58
didn't know him at all so my mental
00:03:00
breakdown I ended up on the nut club
00:03:02
which was uh which is still going it's a
00:03:05
great show um talking about mental
00:03:08
health openly and I'd never met so I met
00:03:10
Mike King and and his right one of his
00:03:12
right-hand men uh Boris srov and I'd
00:03:16
never heard two males ever speak so
00:03:17
openly and vulnerably and normally about
00:03:20
mental health and it freaked me out I
00:03:23
thought this must be an alien planet
00:03:24
I've never heard men speak like this
00:03:26
before and it helped change the game for
00:03:29
me not then cuz it freaked me out but
00:03:31
much later down the track when I started
00:03:33
the shop bro journey I realized where
00:03:35
the doorway was cuz two Brave males
00:03:37
showed me what it's like to talk
00:03:38
normally about your mental health yeah
00:03:40
and I suppose um in a way like the nuts
00:03:43
club and that platform that they gave
00:03:44
you that's um it's kind of like the brne
00:03:46
brown thing it's like you show
00:03:48
vulnerability and like you put your
00:03:50
cards on the table and then lets the
00:03:51
other person know that it's a safe space
00:03:53
and they can put their cards on the
00:03:54
table too
