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guilt is I did something wrong shame is I am something wrong and I felt both of those things I did something wrong I am
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something wrong and then when I so I'm I'm was going to move forward so as I
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moved forward doing shop BR in the first year I had to go see a shrink again thanks to Mike King he shouted me a
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shrink cuz i' hadn't seen one for a while and I had all the stuff started
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come out being sexually molested and I thought I was holding M memories for somebody else that's how my mind was
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dealing with this oh you're holding like a memory s someone gave me a memory
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stick oh these aren't my memories I must be holding this for somebody else and I
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didn't realize that those memories were my memories of me that i' suppressed so
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I've got all the stuff suppressed brother that's and when I meet people have been through trauma even wor way
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worse than I've been we compartmentalize it to survive so we pack it away to try
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and move on but you don't realize throughout your life your fight flight or freeze yeah and your interactions you
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don't even know that are Guided by those three pillars and so you when you don't know what's
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wrong with you you'll just keep continuing this this way of Behaving and when I metet other people like me male
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and female who've been on the journey uh we've got so many similar traits like a
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physical mental spiritual Outlet to help others show them like hey man you're not
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crazy you're hurting cuz I was told I was crazy and then either that I was dismissed yeah who who told you you were
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crazy people were telling me crazy right and I'm saying you know and think about
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families families don't want to deal with your mental illness which is I'm
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not blaming families I'm just saying they don't have the tools to deal with
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it and our parents generation and our grandparents generation this was this was one of the ultimate shames to have
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have somebody with mental having a mental breakdown so all of that stuff is buried and you're dismissed you're
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either dismissed and dissolved or told to just shut your mouth yeah can I just share a little on her side that when she
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said about about the John Coan head when John Coan would speak about his problems
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on the TV and no was around I'd be telling John to shut up because him talking was irritating my demons and so
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as I go around australasia sometimes me talking irritates other people's demons
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cuz they don't want to hear it they've they've drunk enough done enough drugs
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or done enough whatever they have to squash it down and when someone else is speaking as freely as you and I are on
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the couch over there could be somebody going what those two would shut the f up because man that's freaking me out and
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so I understand that now before I used to think I was I was the problem by for for talking about I used to have been
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made to think that I was crazy cuz I was speaking out aloud what I realiz that you're crazy if you don't address this
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you talk about s Sir John Ken Mike King Mike King help me on my journey and um did you did you know Mike before 2009 no
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I mean of course I knew who he was but I didn't know him at all so my mental
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breakdown I ended up on the nut club which was uh which is still going it's a
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great show um talking about mental health openly and I'd never met so I met Mike King and and his right one of his
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right-hand men uh Boris srov and I'd never heard two males ever speak so openly and vulnerably and normally about
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mental health and it freaked me out I thought this must be an alien planet I've never heard men speak like this
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before and it helped change the game for me not then cuz it freaked me out but much later down the track when I started
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the shop bro journey I realized where the doorway was cuz two Brave males showed me what it's like to talk
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normally about your mental health yeah and I suppose um in a way like the nuts club and that platform that they gave
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you that's um it's kind of like the brne brown thing it's like you show
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vulnerability and like you put your cards on the table and then lets the other person know that it's a safe space
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and they can put their cards on the table too