00:00:00
rage shadow legends bobby's playing it right i'm playing all right i love it as we're doing this ad have you ever dreamed of fitting uh an amazing truly
00:00:07
triple a quality game right into your pocket something you can dive into and play at any time now you can with raid shadow legend i gotta tell you the
00:00:13
graphics on this are bonkers it was wild explore millions of champion combinations master countless
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tactics as you take on raid bosses dungeon runs campaign battles and pvp
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arena matches you can build your team develop your champions and raid your way let me just say something right now okay
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the quality of this game is like a console game it's
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so beautiful it's gorgeous on your phone yeah it's it's gorgeous it's fun to play guys and um
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yeah i'm totally into this man rage shadow legends has an insane variety of bosses fancy what's your favorite yeah
00:00:47
andrew my favorite character is hellraiser the dragon let's talk about how you guys can beat him the dragon got
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two main tricks terrible breath and a host of the buffs it has a skill he'll
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use every few turns where it rears up and prepares to breathe on you when he
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does that a chunk of his health bar will turn purple deal enough damage to remove the purple
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part of the health part and it'll cancel the attack like here you see on top of that there's some amazing uh new
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characters a new set of skins with the amazing tundra guild medit wow they look incredible and we can't wait to see them
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there's seriously never been a better time to get started and if you use our link or scan the qr code right here
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new players will get a free starter pack worth almost 30 dollars to kick start your game we're talking a free champion
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tyrell 200k silver one time boost uh one energy refill and one engine
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shard so you can summon an ancient champion as soon as you get in the game that's pretty incredible man a 2k silver
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a one xp boost and a one energy refill and the one ancient shard that's right what else do you need to know that bad
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friends want you to download this game and check it out ray shadow
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legends who are these two
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you two are idiots oh you two or something we're bad friends
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hey bobby's here
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what's up bob we're not starting yet all right i'm not my energy hey no you're right
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anyway um no because you know on the internet my ass is glistening from the live show and they put um because i put
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oil butter on my butt and um people are going i'm jerking off to it or you know
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what i mean this is the greatest thing i've ever seen two positive comments so far i'm jerking off to it but the thing is that i i feel like i'm
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being used you are being used you are being used welcome to the internet welcome to
00:02:52
comedy welcome to being a a personality you are for other people's enjoyment and entertainment yeah but not in a sexual
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way i never no no no no no sex is part of it buddy sec you are a sexuality you respect me for my mind you don't have a
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good mind that's why it's broke your whole body baby my whole body your whole body oh
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look we hung up your thong behind you we had bobby's mom on there which was like probably one of the greatest
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greatest guests we've ever had other than our newfound family friend jet ski
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johnson give it up for juicy juice right jessie's gone no jessie jessica well that is her juicy juicy
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she's her new name you don't like like juicy it's it's juicy now officially yeah do you not like it or does it feel
00:03:32
make you feel offensive i like all the nicknames i'm a big fan of nicknames so it's going to be jesse
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jetski juicy johnson so sick yeah that's so sick for now has anybody tried to create a nickname
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for you that you didn't like like the c word yeah like and you're like don't call me that did you say that no
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sometimes people say like what do you prefer jet ski or jesse and like they're asking me my pronouns and i'm like you
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can call me whatever and then they're like okay well why don't i call you a [ __ ]
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you don't call you a [ __ ] you don't call jet ski a [ __ ] baby you're part of bad friends mafia you know who named you juicy
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one of you guys i did you did juicy baby yeah yeah i like you i think juicy is the is the move and we should introduce
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juicy our new family member to someone that's on her way out if she keeps up her attitude yeah
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jewels hello rudy i like juicy juicy's very sweet i know yeah
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that's that's that's not your angle i like your ankles that's a really good angle it's a smart
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angle it's a filipino angle that's how you guys survive you know what i call that angle the dirt day the third thing yeah the dirty angle
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what is that it's the he's the president this is a terrible person oh oh the dirt tank yeah the dirt day oh yeah this is
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the dirty angle and what you're trying to do i like it but i see right through it okay you like her yeah yeah yeah
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and she wore her bad friend shirt today she's looking to not get fired yeah yeah she wore the shirt she's being sweet
00:04:59
yeah she showed up early yeah she drove herself i know like usually i have to drag her into the car
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so i'll be there prompt at new
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right she's not your competition no not at all i'm not i'm just saying oh defensive defensive defensive yeah
00:05:23
what what what do you like about her you don't know anything about her you know nothing about her when i came in she just her vibe is just very sweet and
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nice correct yeah that is true why don't you guys have a conversation then right now i'm not good with
00:05:36
consciousness no you have to your job is on the line my friend all right all right so just you guys were talking earlier about anime and stuff what the
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[ __ ] we already did it's done we did i'm impressed with rudy because uh you are
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how old 20 yeah you're young and when i was 20 i was working at a smoke shop i
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dropped out of college i'm older you know i'm 32. oh ancient
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you guys look similar in age though you look so you look so young thank you juicy looks so young yeah 32.
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i'm only six years older than her and i look like i'm [ __ ] her dad yeah i could be your dad
00:06:14
i could live yeah on tv no no if we walked into this in a restaurant i was like my daughter wants something oh they wouldn't buy it a hundred percent they
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go that's his kids i could be your grandfather uh great great great great great oppa
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on tv on tv on tv yeah that'd be weird and then who would she be that's our kid then that's our what what skin tag made
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yeah yeah all right like she looks like she would grow on your neck yeah like a background and they're like
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hey get that removed i go no that's rudy you go to the dermatologist i don't know that's rudy you look like something i
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develop when i get skin cancer like you and you why she grows on you because whenever white people like me
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get darker when i get dark spots like your color then i have to go to the derm to make sure it's not cancerous
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you're my cancer yeah it's like a bin benign you hope it's benign
00:07:04
you better hope it's benign yeah malignant's the bad one the nine is the good one you you you really watch anime
00:07:09
juice i've seen a few animes and i really like them and so i was getting some recommendations she's obsessed yeah
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what's the new one you're on we talked about it already no that's the you're making that up no i
00:07:23
say yeah what does that look like george kagi osama george is the only producer in the
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house today by the way we're putting him to work everyone's gone kagi osama love is war that's sick that's a great title
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love is war love is war look at that oh my god what is that there that's a kagi osama oh
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now who is that rudy um i'm still watching the first episode so you're not
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watching so you're not into it i'm still watching i'm trying to wait wait
00:07:52
so you're we ask you what are you into right now right you're a crocker [ __ ] man and you go cocky or someone which is
00:07:58
fine right but you're like i'm still watching the first episode which you haven't seen i'm already into it
00:08:04
you're going to finish it too yeah like every episode yeah you watch it like you read a book yeah george what are you
00:08:09
doing you're in anything
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oh my god we weren't even gonna do that it's not even let him do it now
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now we have to see it here we go
00:08:39
oh get some somebody else's review oh this is stupid it's like oh just turn it up just turn
00:08:44
it off george came on george kimmel juicy what's your first impression of
00:08:49
george have you met him before uh just now we met hey remember i i book everybody who
00:08:56
comes out here so just just so you know honestly and just so you know he has [ __ ] nothing zero
00:09:01
power power at all so just be honest if you want to be booked on anything ever you ask bobby or me
00:09:07
no no power power you just judge freely yeah yeah go ahead but you know it goes through right it goes through me
00:09:13
be quiet what's your impression and be honest please be honest and and i'll know you're lying i just
00:09:18
look at us don't even look at him no need to be too honest oh george i swear to god
00:09:25
i think under these working conditions he's really holding it together
00:09:31
he's got a pretty hostile boss yeah he does he does but you know what who's hostile
00:09:38
but they've been working together for 20 how many years a long time over time
00:09:44
you just said that i was a hostile boss well you're yelling at him a lot yeah he does yell at him i would be crying if i
00:09:50
was george back but here's the difference here's the difference juice yeah you don't get yelled at because you don't do
00:09:55
that kind of [ __ ] he yells because george does that stuff you wouldn't see something you're too good i found the boss at home depot
00:10:03
oh my god yeah all right and i had an employer right taking the chainsaw and he's like trying
00:10:08
to attack dogs right as a boss i would have to go hey cut it out
00:10:14
number one don't use that it's a brand new chase at number two don't try to kill the patrons dogs right so if that's
00:10:21
the wood slicer not the dog slices exactly right exactly thank you so much and you would be the good employee that
00:10:26
was the employee of the month you would come and go what would you say so i'd say and then you come from behind and go what that said oh that's the wood slicer
00:10:34
the dog slicer is all five exactly yeah and you would get a raise but my point is is that if i didn't yell
00:10:41
at that guy for doing that then the home depot would be it would be a difficult working it would be it'd be
00:10:47
lows yeah it would be low it would be low it would be low and we just can't have that around here this has to be home depot
00:10:52
yeah this is home depot this is home okay did you stop
00:10:57
youtube is gonna have a cut ad right now they're going to run a home depot ad
00:11:02
because we've said it five [ __ ] times all right right right this is what happens youtube is listening so diligently and by the way i'd like to
00:11:08
say something to youtube you guys are [ __ ] [ __ ] they're [ __ ] [ __ ] you know they keep you guys are
00:11:13
great my favorite [ __ ] them no it's google now and you know what they're doing to us it's great they keep taking away us they pull us out of the out of
00:11:20
the algorithm because we say crazy [ __ ] well don't say youtube sucks then maybe
00:11:25
that's just stuck there let's start there [ __ ] you two that's what i'm saying i don't think they like it
00:11:32
that should be the cover should i do it too yeah do it [ __ ] you hey youtube suck a big dick
00:11:38
face
00:11:48
there it is yeah and you're saying something guys about youtube go ahead go ahead guys more of a vimeo girl oh
00:12:02
well you got a lot of [ __ ] from last night no no no it wasn't too bad what do you mean you got so much love on the live stream people i think people loved it i
00:12:09
saw one one uh one one comment is all i need to survive for uh like a full month i think i saw
00:12:16
one comment that criticized why we actually never put my finger inside of your butt why and well i said we never got a tip we said we would do it for a
00:12:23
thousand dollars yeah yeah i was he wanted me to put it my finger in his ass for a thousand dollars all the way
00:12:29
and then for 10 grand put it out and taste it which i would have done no one would had the balls to tip 10k yeah
00:12:36
would you have done that if for 10 grand yeah i mean it'd be hard to say no yeah you couldn't say no if
00:12:41
it's a lot of money that someone gives but i mean who do we have some saudi [ __ ] prince watching the show yeah would you stick your finger in my
00:12:47
butthole for a thousand dollars no
00:12:52
well let's play this game she's a decent human being okay so 10 000.
00:12:57
i feel like any uh butt play is not great for my image the rest of my career
00:13:05
[Laughter]
00:13:14
you're putting your finger in his anus you think is damaging to you you're in control you're you have the power yeah
00:13:19
yeah how about you sticking your own finger in your own butthole that's different that's only fans that's only
00:13:25
found yeah that's a whole different thing yeah yeah yeah you know in fact you know you're right you know you're like a daughter to me so i don't want you to do
00:13:30
any of that kind of stuff okay would you eat things on the internet like how about this what if we said here's a bowl full of maggots that
00:13:38
are alive and put some cereal like we'll put oat milk in it just to make it tasty
00:13:44
oat milk is delicious right which it's alive maggots would you eat it for how much
00:13:50
oh my god it's 100 maggots i have to eat all hundreds yeah so many maggots how about 20. like
00:13:56
10 maggots is a lot yeah 10 maggots how much for 10 megas with some oat milk ten thousand i'll do a thousand a maggot
00:14:04
that's pretty good how about you jules i wanna try frogs yeah she wants to eat the [ __ ] up [ __ ]
00:14:10
you know how you know how much she would have crushed that yeah 20 frogs in a bowl
00:14:15
20 is fine but it needs to be fried not raw right right of course we're going to cook the [ __ ] frogs yeah what's
00:14:22
rogan's show what was that called fair factor yeah you would have killed on fear factor you would have been so good
00:14:27
there was there's nothing that you wouldn't eat what were they i mean they ate a lot of they had a lot
00:14:33
of like you know i don't even know it was like testicles of certain kinds of animals or the [ __ ] of an animal
00:14:39
you know you know what i saw i saw a tweet the other day and i thought of you i almost sent it to you it's some someone goes wait till pro lifers find
00:14:45
out about balut and i was like that's incredible that's so true i thought about that yeah yeah
00:14:51
wait till pro-lifers find out about balut but pro-lifers eat egg it's the same thing yeah but balut's like it's
00:14:58
developed oh yeah that's true it's like a [ __ ] bird you know what pollutants i'm figuring it out context
00:15:05
we ate it we ate it on the show tell her tell juice what blue it is it's like a uh raw egg but inside there's
00:15:13
like a baby duck and it's like a really good food in the philippines yeah look that's a photo
00:15:19
oh my god and they eat that on the street like you know how we have tacos and hot dogs on the street after a bar
00:15:24
this is their bacon that's a hot dog yeah that's a bacon wrap top you put vinegar and salt and it's really you
00:15:30
need it you need it i threw up i almost threw up live on the show it was so and a lot of it has hair yeah i was just gonna ask is
00:15:36
there like yes yes yeah the smell is unbelievable it's it's and they act they are still kind of like they they say
00:15:42
things like damn please please don't eat sony please please
00:15:48
and the and this [ __ ] one yes
00:15:53
yeah would you eat that i don't think so yeah no judgment
00:15:58
it's a cultural thing but yeah probably so if you were in in a country different country
00:16:04
and they had some sort of weird thing that you know that the people ate you wouldn't eat it you would refuse i i'm
00:16:10
my dad's always like my whole life you know you should at least try something once you know with food and stuff but
00:16:15
like there's certain things that i just don't sound good to me like do you know this sushi with the egg on there's like some
00:16:22
kind of sushi like like uh uni you mean uni or no no um what's it called
00:16:27
what's it called um it's called it's kaleida loves it so it's just an egg right i think so like a raw egg or
00:16:33
something i don't know there's some of that stuff that i'm like i could maybe do without trying it yes an egg like
00:16:40
that like yolk of an egg yeah there's some uni down there with the egg yolk you know what that is that
00:16:46
the little red stuff is raw fish eggs yeah we eat fish eggs
00:16:52
isn't that what caviar is that's yeah yeah you already yeah you're eating yeah already yeah we took you there you ate it
00:16:58
already those are just bigger ones i don't know yeah i should be more adventurous with things sometimes you
00:17:04
just get set in your ways what's your way what's your ways like what's your go-to meal yeah
00:17:09
salads uh a lot of salads that's what lately i've been trying to like just be healthy and be consistent with food but
00:17:16
but then occasionally it's like pizza pizza so good yeah yeah pizza yeah i [ __ ] hate salads i eat them only
00:17:21
because i know i'm supposed to otherwise i would never [ __ ] eat a salad ever again salads [ __ ] suck it depends on
00:17:27
what it is i don't give a [ __ ] give me a [ __ ] sandwich like candied walnuts yeah some cranberry i like that
00:17:34
kind of then it's not a salad at some point they're putting in ice cream remember the ice cream salad ice cream sounds oh that's yeah we had ice cream
00:17:39
salad well that's not salad no peanut
00:17:44
sounds just let me describe it can i describe it thanks bud back on the right track yeah we're back
00:17:51
up yeah cause we had it together right yeah it was in tulsa oklahoma really nice restaurant
00:17:57
beautiful salad right on top of it is a feta right it's a it's like a goat
00:18:02
cheese a goat cheese ice cream it's cold and it's an ice cream it's
00:18:07
literally ice cream on lettuce on lettuce no thank you it's so
00:18:12
[ __ ] candied walnuts
00:18:18
ice cream has no business on salad ice cream it's so good that's all it took
00:18:24
i mean that's amazing yeah we i took a scooter every day to go get that
00:18:30
get the [ __ ] out of here you guys lettuce has no [ __ ] business being with ice cream yeah i'm telling you
00:18:36
right now dude you you you would blow your mind check this out what would it be like without the
00:18:42
[ __ ] salad just the ice cream pretty good so what do i need this salad for because
00:18:47
they work well together they complement each other how is that what kind of lettuce we opened with that it's you
00:18:52
know usually ice cream you close with it that's an opener this we opened with it with some you know bacon you know what
00:18:57
was the middle who featured a featured what what would we eat deer or something or and who was the
00:19:03
closer the closer was the heavens creme brulee or something oh yeah oh yeah
00:19:09
anyway did you say ribs i don't usually eat dessert so i forgot the dessert but yeah we have why don't you eat dessert what are you talking
00:19:14
about he ate ribs for dessert [ __ ] idiot [ __ ] [ __ ] my dad calls them
00:19:20
pigsicles that's so good so your dad is the [ __ ] man where's your where is your dad north carolina
00:19:27
when i feature for polly coming up next week i'm going to visit him at the end of the tour are you doing good nights uh
00:19:33
yeah yeah yeah raleigh have you done any dates with polly yet yeah in vegas oh yeah yeah and what was it like
00:19:39
it's fine we talked about it already right now yeah last time we talked about it yeah yeah dude so funny paulie came
00:19:44
into the store the other night and he was a pop-in on the pop-in sheet yeah and he was and i was doing tiger belly i
00:19:49
was doing tiger belly live yeah and he's like what's up bro and i was like hey man i got to be honest with you
00:19:55
you can't jump me like i love you but i have to go do tiger belly with bobby if this happens this will [ __ ] up
00:20:01
everything yeah he goes you're good dude you're good and i go also i don't know if you want to go next anyway because
00:20:06
argus i'm not exaggerating argus threw up all over inside the green room bathroom
00:20:12
what wait listen for people that don't know august hamilton is one of the most
00:20:18
legendary comedians of the comedy store he's the [ __ ] man he opens up the show every he has new [ __ ] every single time
00:20:23
i see the dude he's an he's an og respect respect i love him
00:20:29
argus says to me i'm not kidding he goes oh man i'm sorry i threw up all over the place and i was like are you sick he
00:20:35
goes i don't think so i think uh i think it's from the carnies carney's hamburger i just say you ever had one of
00:20:42
those yeah yeah i was like carney's the train on sunset hot dog yes yeah no i've never had a hamburger there he's like
00:20:47
well don't do it dude he puked all over the green room after the poor guy and then and then
00:20:53
danny made him take a covet test because danny was like nervous he was like why are you how do you not know if you're sick yeah because
00:20:59
argus was like i don't think i'm sick and he's like what do you mean what does that mean you'd be you would know what's going on so danny went and got him a
00:21:05
[ __ ] covet test and made him take it yeah and i told polly that and he was like really i was like i'll wipe down
00:21:10
the mic before and after it's a [ __ ] it's a [ __ ] circus it's a [ __ ] circus yeah argus um saved my life
00:21:18
did he yeah he got me sober the first time he one of the guys he's been sober for how long
00:21:24
40 years yeah it's crazy but although um i can't if he's speaking at an a meeting
00:21:29
i have to leave i have to leave i have to leave why i can't do it does
00:21:35
he do jokes he does his act and then it's like he's asked yeah i mean
00:21:41
yeah i mean uh it's tough it's tough because he starts you know he'll say something like yeah me and sammy dave
00:21:48
davis jr you know we used to you know he told me this one joke at a cafe and it's
00:21:53
like yeah but we're trying to get sober yeah
00:22:02
yeah but he's a good man he's a good man he's a good man he's a good man i don't want to because now you
00:22:08
know me he's going to come because he didn't talk to me for two years okay yeah because i don't know one night i
00:22:14
had to follow him and i was in a bad mood and and i said something like you know
00:22:20
run a plus for the old [ __ ] with the wig yeah that would make sense or something like that right yeah and but
00:22:25
and i'm on stage i kind of got to laugh and i could see him in the back
00:22:30
just you know he just his silhouette just kind of like takes off his wig god damn it i mean it was just like i
00:22:37
felt so bad yeah why would you say that i've said so many bad things by the way he doesn't have a wig what are you talking about i don't know i don't know
00:22:43
what the joke was because you're just being mean yeah okay and now a word from our sponsor
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uh you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to how well would you take care of your car if you
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had to keep the same one your entire life that's how our brains work andrew yeah it is so why don't we treat them that
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that way we should we really should there's plenty ways to support a healthy brain like learning new language or taking power naps but there's also
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love box of awesome so do i man it's like it's a it's a box that has all your
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little favorite things yes it does to get started all you have to do is go to box of awesome.com uh and you take a quiz but it's not really quiz there's no
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wrong answers what you tell them will help them pick the right box of awesome for you and they release a new box every month across a ton of different
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categories honestly they're the best for gifts they are birthday christmas
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easter hanukkah uh uh what's the other martin luther king day that's one of my favorites yeah labor day memorial day by
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the way that's where rudy got her for original set of knives from was from the outdoor collection box from box of
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awesome plus with each box of awesome you're supporting small businesses 90 of everything that comes in box of awesome
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is from a small up-and-coming brand that's cool because every box is valued around 70 but you only pay a fraction of
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that price you have to check it out it's free to sign up you can skip a month or cancel at any time what's your favorite box scorch oh yeah i love hot sauces
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and they're all from um small brands right yeah from all over the country texas nevada even right here in
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california you know what i love and more you know which one i love what carnivore baby that's right that american bbq rub
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in the carnivore box my great american spice company what's your favorite box box is your favorite the slash box slash box you're
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enter the code bad friends at checkout that's box of awesome.com the code is bad friends you said anything mean if
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they're my rule is if they're killing then i'll go and make a joke about them but if somebody goes before me and bombs
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i'm not gonna like attack them more that's a good rule that's a really good rule but when you're when you're when you're one of the headliners on the list
00:25:31
here's the here is our rules at some point if i don't know you well i don't talk
00:25:36
anything about you that's probably smart i i don't i don't i don't like this idea that people say stuff when they don't
00:25:41
really know somebody it's like what the [ __ ] is that you don't know that you don't know how they're gonna take it my rule is always like if like him and i
00:25:48
it's it's you know no rules there is a rule and i'm gonna tell you something right now you did this
00:25:53
thing i'm gonna do it and i'm gonna do you did something the other day that was made me so [ __ ] angry that crushed
00:26:00
for you it crushed for me so good you did your set i had a really good set i had a really good set then i
00:26:07
gave him an incredible intro and then he came out and i just kept coming back out on stage no no that's not it that's not it not
00:26:14
only did he walk through the [ __ ] crowd yeah so i'm on stage doing my jokes and he's walking around the crowd
00:26:20
and people are cheering him on he left the building i'm like okay i'm gonna go into my act he runs back in
00:26:27
right and everyone's cheering and in my head i'm like if he wasn't like a guy that i loved i
00:26:33
might kill him you would do this to me you would 100 percent when you're doing your job that is not true when it's your
00:26:39
turn that's not true because when i'm in the or you've come back up on stage and [ __ ] around with me when i'm in the or
00:26:44
you've wanted that you've asked for it i didn't ask for it oh cut it the [ __ ] out
00:26:49
this is an agreement you and i have for the rest of our lives no that's your agreement i want to create an agreement
00:26:55
okay go ahead and create one right you're allowed to do it after you say my name right first asked me first
00:27:02
before never okay that's not the agreement then well it's the one i'm making i know would you
00:27:07
negotiate this i wish you guys would do more back to back spots at this store i like stuff
00:27:14
like that why because we're friends and it's fun we're friends and it's fun yeah it's
00:27:20
exciting it's live theater marin brings me out the same way i've told you this every time he goes
00:27:26
tried to be friends with this guy we hung out once it didn't work andrew santino he does it every time
00:27:33
wait every [ __ ] time i tried to be friends with a guy he didn't work he was this next
00:27:40
guy he's all right do you think he's maybe trying to see if you ask him to hang out
00:27:47
more yeah it's 100 what he's doing i think so no mark is a sweet and he has become a good friend i love him he's
00:27:52
just so funny about hanging out he's like why don't you ask to go on hikes i'm like because i can't
00:27:59
i'm squeezing in things during the day i don't have i don't have huge gaps of the day where it's like i can
00:28:05
make my way over to his house and drink coffee and play with cats and go hike i don't have a lot of time he loves cats
00:28:11
don't you know i didn't i just said i didn't want to play with them all day and then man loves cats he's allowed to
00:28:16
love cats i love him he loves them he brings me on the same way though he always goes we try to be friends we hung out once it's not what he used to say
00:28:23
about me what would he say i can't even say it say it we'll beep it no it wasn't it's nothing that you can
00:28:29
believe it was just kind of just so mean that like i had to go afterwards one night this was before i
00:28:34
was i'm very good friends with him now yeah he's the best i love him now what happened um like you know when he does
00:28:41
largo he always invites me to open and like i just love him and he's you know he's a family but 12 years ago he would
00:28:50
you would say this next guy he's a dancing clown he
00:28:55
you know he needs to you know give you energy and an attitude to get laughs
00:29:01
you know not really good joke rider you know how much of that do you think he meant
00:29:06
all of it how much of it because it wasn't like i didn't know him i mean did that hit home for you oh i
00:29:12
would just be rage tears in the back would you would you still get up there and dance like a
00:29:17
clown though yeah yeah that's right that's my that's my talent
00:29:22
that's all i know how to do it that's the thing because you're watching it going it's true i mean it's mean it's
00:29:28
mean but true but true that's right mark is mean but true you mean true yeah i could say things about him you know i
00:29:34
mean that you know go ahead he gives no energy to you i mean yeah no on stage he gives no energy on stage he's bitter
00:29:41
you have angry i mean i could say things but i go i always i don't do that he's a legend i'd say the good things you know
00:29:46
yeah i have give give great intros you'd give some of the best the best in the world you've seen a lot working at the store who gives the worst intros oh my
00:29:54
god wait can i defer and tell you something crazy that happened last night yeah the
00:30:00
ac was out in the original room oh my god it was 94 degrees last night so hot we
00:30:05
had three fans going which did nothing and in the middle of the show
00:30:11
like five comics in i should say greg fitzsimmons was on stage and a lady stood up in the back and said
00:30:17
my husband he's choking i need a doctor can someone get a doctor i know and then
00:30:23
i'm working the room and i know our security joes and emt so i go jojo we need joe and he comes in and we clear it
00:30:30
and also we're thinking how's he choking we don't serve food there he has no food
00:30:35
so he wasn't choking kaylee who plays the piano um before we figured out what was really
00:30:40
chase kaley chase she tried to give him the heimlich remover remover the highlight maneuver and two
00:30:47
people yelled out you're too weak no and then charlie yes this is in the
00:30:53
middle of fitz's section what's great what's greg doing greg i already respected greg a lot as a comic
00:30:59
i respect him so much more now he was like okay everybody let's just stay calm
00:31:04
let's uh give him some room everybody just step back and then uh they said okay yeah it looks like he's breathing
00:31:10
out and people started clapping he goes let's keep the energy down like he was like controlling the room keeping things
00:31:16
light not trying to get laughs like during the sky that's really nice that's really yeah what a gentleman one of the
00:31:23
best comics in the country yeah and then joe got him out um he was the guy was fine he i think it was just heat
00:31:30
exhausted got him out to the patio and then greg uh got the show back rolling and then
00:31:35
brought up moshe who mosher cashier called the 9-1-1 it's like all the comments all the
00:31:41
comments were saving this guy's life for backstage
00:31:46
oh wow another great guy they were all helping this guy with kaylee chase once can i just say
00:31:52
something embarrassing that happened sure i love kayleigh i love kayla
00:31:58
oh i was calling fizzy because i wanted to hear his story so i love kaylee chase right pianist pianist i adore her right is she
00:32:05
permanent now are they still switching without with the other with like uh um uh they have three keyboard players
00:32:11
yeah are they all still rotating uh-huh but she's like i didn't know who her dad was right sure so one day
00:32:17
you know who her dad is now yeah so one day i know this is because of the story uh chevy was chase was on stage chevy
00:32:24
was chase chevy chase was on stage and i didn't he was eating it i mean that's just point blank
00:32:31
and i was at the club he was bombing yeah nice and i was at the cover booth
00:32:36
and kaylee's behind the counter and i got this [ __ ] [ __ ] face
00:32:41
oh my god i'm just [ __ ] eating it she goes he's my dad i go oh anyway um
00:32:48
you were [ __ ] on chevy chase oh my god why
00:32:54
why would you audibly be like this [ __ ] loser's eating i didn't say that i didn't see a loser you're putting words in my mouth like this [ __ ] face oh
00:33:00
go [ __ ] face i'm so sorry i said i apologize right yeah i was cause you know i was i cuz i showed up and i'm
00:33:06
like he wasn't on the list you know you know and then he after his set he
00:33:11
didn't even bring me out he just walked upstairs my point is is that you know i mean i s you know you should not watch i
00:33:17
should watch my mouth yeah yeah you really i say things and i you know
00:33:22
you regret it all the times he but guys he's a legend it guys do that all the time though when they come to the store
00:33:27
and they don't know the rules about bringing up somebody they just walk off that happens i hate it and you and then you gotta go
00:33:33
out there and be like hey hey and it's so uncomfortable oh no not anymore paul rodriguez did that paul rodriguez two
00:33:39
weeks ago did it and he comes up to me and goes hey bro can i go up before you five minutes i'll
00:33:46
do five minutes i go okay right 22 minutes in yeah he's still on stage
00:33:52
yeah i've seen that and i'm looking at emily like you know me i [ __ ] told you
00:33:58
like a little [ __ ] right yeah right and he just walks off stage he's supposed to
00:34:03
bring me on right and for a second i'm like i just run up there i go i no i go i paul comes
00:34:09
to the side i go get back up there i yelled at him and said and bring me up
00:34:15
right and he did it but my point is that normally back when i was younger i would just do it i would just go up on that
00:34:22
but no more no you're not taking this fight for my right you goddamn right you do do your job do your job bud i don't
00:34:29
care who you are you're a legend i get it i get it i get it but please do your job who's allowed to do that to you
00:34:35
just walk off stage martin lawrence does it yeah i let him do it you let him do it because he's more i love martin
00:34:40
lawrence do it who else uh but i mean chappelle or berto they bring you up they know the rules yeah but they know the system they know the system yeah but
00:34:46
um yeah martin does it it's done it nine times to me
00:34:52
but i already know he's gonna do it so you're prepared so i'm whenever he's before me he's always before me yeah he
00:34:57
always brings me up yeah i don't know why they do it like that they'll put you know anyway emily told me she likes to
00:35:04
watch you kind of scramble yeah yeah yeah that's why so whenever he's on stage like i and when i know he's done
00:35:09
i'm always pacing like all right how do i do it how do i do it and you're trying to think of something funny to do
00:35:15
not only that or i always hope today is the day but he's going he's gonna yeah i think
00:35:21
today's the day oh he's putting the mic he's leaving he's gone he's gone right he's gone and
00:35:28
then i i run up there and it's oh never i was it's never ready it's never good i
00:35:33
always go anyway outs i'm bobby lee
00:35:38
because you have to say what you want they go oh right all right right we just saw a legend yeah we know moving a real
00:35:44
movie bonafide movie star so yeah right yeah it's really sad it's so sad yeah is
00:35:50
he still is he do he's back doing shows again here yeah i mean every once in a while right
00:35:55
he's still cool yeah i haven't seen him at the store but it's always sometimes the nights you're not working and then they text the group chat they're like oh
00:36:01
my god i wonder if he's doing that he was doing that wet [ __ ] joke it's like a 10 minute wet [ __ ] joke
00:36:07
you know can i just say oh have you ever heard it mm-hmm yeah he's literally 10 minutes on wed [ __ ] i'm not i'm not
00:36:13
exaggerating when he was in his young when he was young it was funny it's a little weird now yeah he's 60 now yeah it means i
00:36:19
love wet [ __ ] and you're like and you're like
00:36:25
do you have children and a family it's it's weird to hear him say it because he goes on and on it's a
00:36:30
lot of um metaphors and analogies about wet [ __ ] and at first you're like a champion like
00:36:37
the song [ __ ] you're like hell yeah yeah and then it's as if [ __ ] was like 40 minutes long
00:36:43
by the end you'd be like this is a lot of [ __ ] stuff yeah i support big wet [ __ ] supporter but
00:36:49
also i don't need so much time about it yeah it's a lot and he did a bit about
00:36:55
like i like it when they spin on my dick yeah he does a lot of that stuff yeah and it's like ah
00:37:02
yeah man no i love it i love it though no i love it i like it too when they spit on your dick yeah i do i like it don't you like it it's
00:37:09
like a humor they're so degrading yeah yeah you're ready you're their [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah and on your little
00:37:15
penis spit on it but okay anyway but martin he's a good guy no he's a great imagine great comic okay so tell
00:37:21
me who does who does the worst intros this isn't you being mean about that what you just what i loved about what
00:37:27
you did though is you because it's an uncomfortable question and when he asked you the first time he
00:37:32
diverted a good story
00:37:41
it's a hard question because all that last night was so crazy and then i didn't get home so like 2 a.m
00:37:47
you're diverted have you guys ever been in a situation
00:37:53
where someone passed out during a show it's so fun she's so good she's so good
00:38:00
yeah yeah so i've never seen any like i've heard of stuff like that
00:38:07
but you guys have been around so long yes so we've been around for a long time yeah you're a professional dude
00:38:13
juicy i'm telling you right now already dude already you're already a part of the family you know that you got a lot
00:38:19
of followers new followers on instagram right did you yeah it's crazy yeah how many thousands at least five like five
00:38:26
thousand yeah and it's still you deserve more and more more more and more follow her but let's go back to the question go back to
00:38:32
the yeah yeah lawyer please oh yeah my question uh have you guys ever seen anything like that when you
00:38:38
were on stage what see what like while you're on stage somebody pass out whether it's like it
00:38:45
becomes real and you have to handle it i saw a guy drunkenly uh fall forward and smash it his head on a table and split
00:38:51
it wide open uh i was in somewhere in the midwest i can't remember
00:38:57
but i i i you know what's so funny you know when you watch something i watched it happen like i knew it was coming
00:39:02
almost you know when you notice that you're like watching in slow motion i watched him kind of stumble and my brain literally like
00:39:08
pre-set it my brain was like that guy's gonna fall and hit his [ __ ] head and sure enough he he like tripped over a
00:39:13
chair and his head hit right on the corner of the table and it [ __ ] my whole show up i was
00:39:19
right in the middle of a good [ __ ] bit and so i said don't help that guy let him [ __ ] bleed out
00:39:25
i have to finish this bit yeah no it was so [ __ ] up i felt so bad i mean he split his head [ __ ] wide open on a
00:39:30
table i was a doorman at the store once and um it was new year's eve
00:39:36
oh nye shows yeah [ __ ] haircut
00:39:41
you're running around like a little monkey i'm just running around getting like hats and glitter oh i don't know
00:39:46
what it was [ __ ] hate me running really quick last year holtzman was on stage during new year's eve and he
00:39:51
brought in the new year and there are people in the back that were literally saying what's going on
00:39:58
what do you mean because they were like they're like why is he bringing in our new year
00:40:03
why is brian what is going on he was just like you know women's shock
00:40:08
yeah what is going on [ __ ] worthless pieces of [ __ ] yeah he just yells and yells i'm running around that's awesome
00:40:14
i'm running around this is 19 probably 97 right door hollywood running around when you were
00:40:20
born yeah and some guy comes up to me goes before you this bulgarian man knows
00:40:26
wants to talk to you because you your family members passed out i go my family what
00:40:33
what are you talking about he's like do you know bulgarian guy like i don't
00:40:38
know bulgarian i go and there's a bulgarian man and i know then i knew who
00:40:43
he was and he's married you at the time he was married to my cousin jenny
00:40:48
right and this is a real member of your family my first cousin jenny bulgaria so my mom the mom that you saw here yeah
00:40:55
right yeah mom her brother's daughter is married to a bulgarian
00:41:00
was no longer what happened he died this is how he died no they divorced oh anyway here comes a bubbly puppy
00:41:08
i go oh yeah he goes jenny i think she died and i look in the hallway
00:41:15
is jennifer just passed out little vomit out of her mouth oh my god it was so
00:41:22
embarrassing she didn't die she didn't die she was just drunk she was just drunk and i just i didn't even help her up i just i gotta work
00:41:29
oh my god i just continued to work viator you don't want to go on vacation
00:41:35
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00:42:56
any crazy people in your family no i i really don't you come from like a solid base yeah i love my family andrew
00:43:03
that's the question i'm going to okay good you love your family yeah my mom's side is like
00:43:09
my my mom's side is really big like uh i have cousins and aunts and uncles so my dad's side is it's like literally just
00:43:15
my dad and my stepmom oh but you know what who gives the worst intros at the comedy store
00:43:22
probably me you're so sweet how did you get out of
00:43:28
that one a third time i don't want anybody to feel that okay so here's the deal the reason why you don't answer that question that's really
00:43:34
funny because you you want you don't want anyone to be mad at you yeah that's part of it that's part of it i'm a peacekeeper you're a peacekeeper
00:43:40
and also a lot of the guys are probably headliners and stuff yeah right and you and you don't want to burn any bridges
00:43:47
i also like really can't think of anybody that i'm like wow that sucked
00:43:52
i bet you can yeah that's not true and i go up there i go at first so nobody brings me up so
00:43:59
maybe you guys are thinking about your i know what you're doing and i love it you're crafty and you're survivor right
00:44:06
but let's be honest that is not true what you just said all right so here's the deal you don't have to answer that question
00:44:12
right oh thank god you don't right ron white's called me andy san clemente like seven times
00:44:19
i'm not even exaggerating like seven times yeah i can't think of it the only andy san clemente
00:44:25
literally andy san clemente yeah yeah i've reintroduced myself to him no less than
00:44:31
five six times not only that dude you know what he says to me who are you who are your times
00:44:36
yeah doesn't know who are you well you know he's sober now he's talked about it i go you're bringing me up yeah he
00:44:41
doesn't oh and you said asked me who are you last week yeah he doesn't know no he doesn't
00:44:47
no i think but he's sober now so i think he probably is more in tune yeah he got clean he told me okay i'll tell you i'm gonna i don't give a
00:44:53
[ __ ] see i love burning bridges um i'm gonna say something about burning a bridge that's just the truth he called me andy san clemente here's a guy
00:44:59
that for the last 30 years i've met him i'm not probably over a
00:45:04
hundred times right he doesn't care to even memorize my face my name give me
00:45:10
the initials bibi brenton biddle calm no and he's been
00:45:16
pulling that [ __ ] oh
00:45:22
yeah and he's a legend not a legend but you know who he is
00:45:27
he's black brian botano he's black brian babylon uh uh black guy bb bb bb do you
00:45:35
know b bb he's not a regular at the store he was on mtv at one point
00:45:41
as of dj vj as a vj yeah something like that like a black bart
00:45:48
the pirate he's a comic he's a comic oh okay um legitimate stand up come on bb bb bb
00:45:56
uh uh can i say his first name yeah
00:46:05
woman black guy bill burr no bill bellamy yes yes [ __ ] bill bellamy i
00:46:10
didn't get that right yeah bill bellamy even today if i was standing in front of him excuse me i think he would not know
00:46:18
wouldn't know who you are no have you had a conversation with him yeah i've tried he just it's not in his
00:46:24
wheelhouse i'm not in his wheelhouse there are people like that out there
00:46:29
yeah but there's also a part of it how many you how many used does he meet you have to think about that how many cranes does he mean no just like you would
00:46:35
think about people in general how many people are meeting bill bellamy probably really in a green room at a comedy club
00:46:40
you wouldn't know i'd probably try my best but i'm sure there's some comics i'd forget unless they crushed and then i'd remember them
00:46:47
yeah well that makes me feel bad well that wasn't a shot at you no i'm just it does make me feel bad
00:46:52
why because you didn't do good enough for him to remember i just feel like if i've been in the business for as long as
00:46:57
i have so long with the amount of things that i've done so many i don't care if regular people i mean there's so many
00:47:03
99.9 of the people on planet earth doesn't know who i am right but as a comic you would think that
00:47:10
eventually you could memorize somebody you know men's face and name that's all what do you think juice
00:47:17
yeah i i like when i go in a green room i just try to meet everybody if i don't
00:47:22
know them or what do you do if somebody goes like this we've met before and i go oh yeah
00:47:30
that's me you lie do you know i genuinely remember
00:47:35
all the good times we had together let me ask you something see but that's because your your disposition looks
00:47:41
sweet and happy and you can go oh i'm sorry but once someone has said to me like we've met before and they do with a
00:47:46
little bit of attitude it's like what do you want me to say i'm sorry i guess i'm sorry that we had yeah people are
00:47:52
complicated man i sometimes i will have met someone a bunch of times and they'll
00:47:57
be like oh hi i'm so-and-so and then i just go through the dance again oh hi i'm jesse because i you know yeah
00:48:04
i had a guy do this to me what said do it what he did this thing where he i i just introduced myself to be polite
00:48:10
because i walked into a room there's five people in there i know who he is in fact i knew who he was before i met him
00:48:17
do you know what i'm saying like yeah his presence is known he's kind of a popular guy yeah so
00:48:22
i walked in i go hey what's up what's up guys i go hey what's up andrew just to remind just in case yeah i was doing it
00:48:29
in case he didn't remember yeah he goes i know dude we've met like five [ __ ] times yeah but with real attitude and i
00:48:34
was like i'm sorry i thought maybe what if you didn't remember me bill maher
00:48:39
what you're bill maher no i did it to bill maher bill maher was standing in the comedy store once i walked in and go hey i'm bobby i'm he's i
00:48:46
know sorry sorry i just i'm sorry i didn't know that you would even because bill belmay doesn't know who i am
00:48:55
you just assumed all bills don't know who you are yeah yeah i just had another bill that didn't know me yeah that's all you know i mean i thought you had an
00:49:01
issue with pills but my point is is that except but he did that he goes yeah i know we met i know we were in hawaii
00:49:07
yeah you know i mean and i did this film festival hawaii with freddie soto years ago and i met him briefly and he
00:49:13
remembered that's pretty powerful that's pretty cool but my point is is i didn't know that he i would thought there's no way he'll remember so i'll just open
00:49:19
with him bobby i'm a comic i'm a big fan that's the move i think that's all i think that's the move and then they can just go if they do
00:49:26
i think the move is in and if you do remember someone you just go yeah no great great to see you again that's and just let it go yeah don't have to make a
00:49:32
[ __ ] you do have a big thing with bills though i do have yeah you bill clinton that whole thing with him that
00:49:38
beef that you had with bill clinton oh yeah that's insane you know you're i love the you know i said to him like
00:49:44
you're great at the trumpet he goes sax yeah zack he was so pissed off i played the sax yeah my bad
00:49:50
yeah yeah i played the sags yeah but the reason why i um
00:49:56
because the generations even like rest in p is richard jenny right but i don't know who that is
00:50:02
you don't know richard jenner you used to be like considered one of the best joke guys
00:50:08
she's a great joke writer coach a great joker writer but i remember i was a kid and johnny sanchez and i saw richard
00:50:14
jenny and johnny said she was a huge richard jenny fan and johnny just goes high five richard
00:50:20
jenny right and richardson just walked past us and that johnny johnny was left with his
00:50:25
hand out like this and i could see i could see johnny's face just like almost falling right because it was
00:50:31
like he was a huge fan of richard jennings oh rich and he stood there for like i don't know 20 seconds like this i think he was trying
00:50:38
to milk the laugh because he knew i was there but he was still embarrassed right so but i just oh we'll always
00:50:44
remember this well yeah i mean johnny also saw a ghost who's dead and who's alive you know what
00:50:49
i mean that's a rich cats well he didn't he killed himself i know i know which is sad you gotta high five
00:50:55
somebody dude what if you [Laughter]
00:51:00
what what what did you say somebody had to high five you and you what if that was a thought i said fight
00:51:07
johnny sanchez why didn't i [ __ ] die it's awful that's awful terrible that's
00:51:12
awful that's good yeah that's terrible so you're not gonna name any names no she won't i almost didn't recognize
00:51:18
somebody who at the store i was working a lot and someone pulled in and they weren't on the lineups it was faison
00:51:24
love oh faison yeah and i've seen him in movies but i didn't recognize him and i was asking him if he's on a show and he
00:51:30
was he was [ __ ] with me and he's like no and i and then i said well this is for paid regulars he goes how do you
00:51:36
know i'm not a paid regular oh and then oh no and then i thought he was just a customer trying to park there and he was
00:51:43
like ian edwards was standing there he goes i'm ian edwards and then they all start cracking up and then because he's got
00:51:49
his friend in the car too and i'm like i know ian edwards and and then uh he just opens the door and gets out
00:51:56
like a big [ __ ] you to you yeah yeah i was like in my feelings about it and then i realized who it was and i felt
00:52:01
like an [ __ ] and i messaged him the next day like apologizing you messaged him what via instagram and i was like i
00:52:08
just felt really bad and then um he said you don't have to apologize what's your cash app and he sent me 150
00:52:16
for parking in the lot because he was like i didn't see you when i left and i have to tip faison love is the [ __ ] man yeah he's awesome the
00:52:22
[ __ ] man and the next time he pulled up in the lot we had like a laugh about it but i yeah it's when you're on the other
00:52:29
side of it and you don't recognize somebody so it's so funny because i don't know
00:52:34
how to handle those situations like that's funny i just shut down like i did i went to the comedy cellar and i
00:52:39
[ __ ] walked down the stairs and the guy goes he he he like slapped his hand on my chest and he goes back the [ __ ] up
00:52:46
because he was talking to two other customers and i was like oh i'm just gonna go downstairs he goes you ain't going [ __ ] nowhere and he's not
00:52:51
really looking at me he's like looking down at my body you know what i mean like he's looking at me kind of but peripherally and he goes you ain't going
00:52:57
[ __ ] nowhere and i was like oh all right and like a [ __ ] i got on my phone and i
00:53:04
stood there and then he looked up at me he goes yo oh [ __ ] and then he felt bad yeah he was
00:53:09
like yo that was i'm so sorry i didn't even yeah and i was like that's okay i had to call someone
00:53:15
i shut down so fast yeah yeah i didn't i i don't know how to i was like because i don't ever want to be like i'm on the
00:53:21
i'm one of the things yeah yeah i don't want to do that that's what i go to it's embarrassing i don't do it any
00:53:28
i know because i don't want that to happen i feel like no one knows who i am so i don't want to just show up at the seller
00:53:34
and then have this happen no they all know who you are yeah but i don't know that you can't assume that they do i
00:53:39
know i'm saying but you yes they know who you are you yes it's kind of nice too though like you guys probably missed
00:53:45
this or you don't even remember but it's kind of nice nobody knowing who you are when you go
00:53:50
to a show yeah because you go in and they're like uh do you have a ticket and then i'm like oh i'm on the show and
00:53:56
they're like oh what's your name and then they'll check me off and then i'll go and you know do good go crush and
00:54:01
then they're then they all and they gain their respect i like being like an underdog and kind
00:54:07
of being invisible and then just shining it never goes away trust me okay good
00:54:12
i'll give you a better example now that i play like small theaters not all the time but like clubs we'll all
00:54:19
know who you are because they're like they do meetings and the staff they're like here's who's coming this weekend blah blah blah so they all kind of know
00:54:26
who's coming even if they don't know you as a comic are like he's the [ __ ] redheaded guy you'll see him when he comes here
00:54:31
small theaters they don't give a [ __ ] [ __ ] about that you don't mean [ __ ] all
00:54:36
weave multiple times me and o'connor have walked to the back of the theater and a guy who's working like one of the
00:54:42
crew will be smoking and we'd have a notice in pittsburgh and i was like uh uh can
00:54:47
we is this the artist entrance and he was like yeah and i was like oh uh we're the
00:54:53
we're the guys and he's like who you who's your contact and i'm debating on if i could get in
00:55:00
with one of the stagehands all right and a piece of me was like let's just go back to the hotel yeah
00:55:05
i i like i didn't want he cause he his attitude they don't give a [ __ ] about you you don't mean [ __ ] they don't know
00:55:10
who the [ __ ] you are i played the chicago theater it was 3 700 seats half of the back staff doesn't know who
00:55:16
you are theater people are like that they don't give a [ __ ] about you you don't mean [ __ ] so that doesn't go away
00:55:21
people not knowing you that doesn't [ __ ] a whole room is there for you and there's a bunch of people that are like who the [ __ ] is this [ __ ] piece
00:55:27
of [ __ ] yeah and then you'd be like can we can we get some waters downstairs and they're like the waters are out back you're like we'll go get
00:55:33
yeah yeah yeah it's it never changes yeah that's it's nice it's humbling because it's like
00:55:38
you're not getting hand and footed even at those big venues they don't you mean dog [ __ ] to them you're just another
00:55:44
idiot that's gonna come in do the show and then they're like you guys got to get the [ __ ] out well part of me was kind of hoping that part would change it
00:55:50
does not okay but it's also i want to just amongst your peers the reality you know because
00:55:56
i i'll run into like a kid from high school that i went to high school with i'll be like oh your my life must be completely changed or this and that and
00:56:03
it's like honestly dude i feel the same as you do because at the end of the day
00:56:09
five times during the day well someone will it's never like even a big deal they're like nosotros papaya
00:56:16
we'll yell out of the car and you're like oh cool right but normally you're still waiting in line no one knows what the [ __ ] you are you know i mean yeah
00:56:22
you're just living a life like everyone else's every once well if you're at a club or you'll
00:56:28
get a perk and if you're like at the ace theater saturday when we do the tiger belly show obviously there you feel
00:56:33
special because everyone knows who you are because they're all congregated into one area right at your show so that's
00:56:40
why comics do shows because all your fans are in one area you get to feel good but when you're out in the real
00:56:45
world you're just you know me at the dmv just waiting in line yeah you're going to be just another five hours i mean
00:56:51
like everyone else do you get recognized ready not a lot just sometimes and i don't
00:56:56
like it because i don't know what to do wait why don't you like it i don't know what to do they say i love you i i like
00:57:03
you and then i don't know what to say next do you ever say i love you i like you back no let's let's let's replay it love is a
00:57:09
big hey hey hey are you rudy jules oh my god that's [ __ ] rude we love you we like you we love you so
00:57:15
much we like you i like you and we love you we love you hi
00:57:20
what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] [ __ ] that's what i do all right we love you we love you will
00:57:25
you take a photo with us sure oh [ __ ] you must be rich on that show will you cash out boss i don't have
00:57:32
money i have to go but it was nice meeting you wait wait don't go anywhere don't don't
00:57:37
my buddy wants to sing you a song he's also on the same flight so they haven't called our yeah we're all flying
00:57:42
together uh i have to go to the bathroom i really need to poop let us come with you yeah girls go together yeah she'll come with
00:57:48
you yeah yeah she can come with me okay we'll just wait outside okay okay okay bye bye bye guys i'll get
00:57:56
the picture okay thank you that's how you walk what are you feeling inside
00:58:01
i want to die i want to die really interesting so you want no one to recognize you ever again no yeah well
00:58:07
you came on the show you wanted to be on the show so that's your fault oh yeah at the tiger belly show there
00:58:13
were like two girls and one of them was like hey can i get a photo and i was like sure and then her friend took the photo and then she was like do you want
00:58:19
the photo and the friend was like okay george and his story is wrong
00:58:26
he wanted to add in let's just let's just analyze what he just said here you know pissed off george the most
00:58:31
about that that pissed me off yeah go ahead that pissed me off yeah it did i know it did it's like you know we're holding
00:58:37
court telling stories right and you know the whole time he was thinking i think i got a story
00:58:46
hey i just wanted an excuse to get this camera on so that i get a little more screen time a little more famous with
00:58:52
andres not here i think i have a chance to shine so that that irked him so much after the tiger belly show fancy walked
00:58:57
outside there is a there was a cheering of fancy fancy fancy
00:59:07
dude it was huge it must be easier to cheer than pink dick like it's it's just but it's much easier nobody cheered for
00:59:13
george george literally came out no one said anything fancy fat they don't know why you do [ __ ] like this
00:59:20
i'm going to tell you something this is what he does what's so gross we're at the ace theater audi you know
00:59:25
the door is open right uh seven right yeah and so you know the the lobbies flooded with tiger belly fans or
00:59:31
whatever merch line whatever right this [ __ ] face goes out there and just kind of walks around oh yes he wants to
00:59:38
see [ __ ] he's like i just wanted to see what the merch was what the bridge was i just wanted to see what the merch was you know i was for
00:59:44
[ __ ] compliments yeah you're fishing a little [ __ ] dude you're fishing and it took a long time to get them you know
00:59:50
i was walking i was like they wouldn't even let me to the front of the merch line they were like no no not you get to the back get to the back what
00:59:56
compliments did you get um hey great job being in the background
01:00:03
yeah that's his name most of the time he what he gets the thrill because when
01:00:08
they look at him it registers yeah that oh that's that's the guy that's the guy and that's what he gets off on right
01:00:14
right finally you have respect sick twisted [ __ ] [ __ ] twist [ __ ] [ __ ]
01:00:20
look at him gross rudy i hope you get recognized more and more and by the way to the fans out there good story though when you see
01:00:27
rudy when you see rudy in the major metropolitan area of los angeles please go up to her please take a photo she
01:00:32
loves hugs she loves that stuff you love and she wants to engage she doesn't want to just
01:00:38
say hi she wants to talk to you she doesn't know what's going on yeah you did yeah yeah you just just
01:00:43
wave then go away no no too informal you you want something more proper you want i i think
01:00:49
you should really let people open up to you if you're going through a divorce or or if your kids just went off to college
01:00:54
why don't you [ __ ] tell her about it right i think you should open up let people open up to you rudy
01:01:00
okay okay yeah thank you well when you back went back to the philippines did you hang out with your old friends
01:01:06
yeah did anybody in the philippines know about the show yeah some some of them are like really like fans of the podcast
01:01:14
and they like listen and the philippines wait your friends yeah and they listen yeah and you keep asking like when's the
01:01:20
next podcast i want to listen i'm excited do you feel good be honest a little bit yeah especially
01:01:26
like when the the the other girl so there's this other girl can i explain
01:01:32
all right there's another girl so she lives from the philippines right there's a girl that wants to be a social influencer or
01:01:38
what's that called influencer influencer right and she's trying to get you know i mean she wants to be famous famous in this
01:01:44
but it's i love it when somebody doesn't want to rudy rudy right and she just
01:01:50
falls into it and wins the lottery yeah right and she and if even if we told her you're no
01:01:56
longer on the poc she wouldn't care yeah it doesn't matter she would move on with her life yeah doesn't want to be here now yeah
01:02:03
that's true he doesn't want to be this is the one you yeah but my point is is that so that must feel good a little bit yeah yeah oh
01:02:09
the other girl though is she or competition like do you guys have beef no we're friends did you hang out with her yeah uh one time because she has to
01:02:17
do like other influencer stuff what are the influencer stuff what does that even even yeah
01:02:22
like they have a meeting and then they like like promote stuff and then like they go and like take photo shoots and
01:02:29
did they add bite you to any of it no but you're what you're who has more followers on instagram me
01:02:36
oh and they didn't collaborate with you at all no no they had this opportunity they don't know me how many followers
01:02:42
did she have you were hanging out with them you were at the meeting right how many followers did you have i think she
01:02:47
has like 20. yeah you have over a hundred thousand followers yeah
01:02:53
that's got to feel good yeah yeah how many followers do you have on instagram 18 now 18 000. when before the podcast i
01:02:59
bet there's more getting that than crazy that's going to get weird we got to get you to 50 man wow at least right
01:03:06
rudy i kind of want to look up the other girl even though just because i want to see how many she
01:03:11
had yeah yeah i got recognized at the store last night during work from bad friends really monday's episode
01:03:18
what did they say i i was doing the whole like two drink there's a two drink minimum i'm showing them to their seats then they go wait
01:03:24
excuse me you just aren't bad friends and i go yeah and they're like you were awesome we loved you on there and it was really
01:03:31
flattering and nice and then i had to go oh thank you anyway there's no cell phone used
01:03:37
photos or videos that face on love story made me cry i saw you get emotional yeah i shot it because i've cause he's
01:03:44
from san diego and i've known him for a very very long time and i just know his heart he gave
01:03:49
you 150 dollars yeah he's a good guy that's a big factor we should have on this love to have him on we should have
01:03:54
faith on love on that love to have him yeah he's the best that's that was a very sweet story yeah he's the man i
01:04:01
yeah i was really embarrassed it's embarrassing and you shouldn't be by the way but i know but i learned you know you learn so much at the store like it's
01:04:07
a school and i felt like i should have just kept things light-hearted but so many people park in that lot it gets you
01:04:14
on edge because so is everybody parked in a lot where they are paid regular but no like they
01:04:20
don't get spots and they act they give you attitude no not really attitude most people who
01:04:26
are parking there like if like if uh someone comes for fallouts they'll be like hey is it okay if i left
01:04:32
like they make real good sure that they're oh so she's not gonna tell you i know we're not we keep fishing i know
01:04:38
people come in that uh are customers or they're like on a development show one guy i'll tell you a story okay
01:04:45
this is what we want yeah yeah so there was a show and in the belly room and it was an
01:04:50
independent show so it's not paid regulars yeah and they're allowed one car per show well someone rolled in on a
01:04:57
motorcycle and they had the one car and so at first i told him you can't
01:05:03
park here but since it was the bike and he was saying you know it's small i can't i just put it up here i said okay yeah you can that seems reasonable it's
01:05:09
just a motorcycle yeah yeah and he was you know at first he was kind of upset he was like you know i've parked here
01:05:15
before blah blah blah don't give attitude yeah you got a lot of attitude and i ended up saying yeah it's fine just park up there yeah so he parked the
01:05:22
bike and then came up and then went to his friend and you know you guys he's talking to his friend where you guys are
01:05:27
and i'm sitting i'm standing right here in the lot and he starts speaking in spanish and he then points to me and
01:05:33
says puta it was like i don't speak spanish but i know what that i know [ __ ] yeah
01:05:40
i need to know who the [ __ ] who the [ __ ] is this [ __ ]
01:05:47
hey hey hey
01:06:02
yeah but i was like why was this a guy i want to even know you know so that's a great mindset why the [ __ ] is lying
01:06:08
because he's playing political [ __ ] no she's no i really don't no no she doesn't know who he is he's probably yeah i don't know his name i really
01:06:14
don't know his name but i told him he's on a book show that she has no experience so let's investigate it he has a bike i'm going to figure it out
01:06:20
off the air we're going to figure it out no i'm going to figure it out now so yeah yeah i'm going to figure it out he's on a [ __ ] bike didn't tip me
01:06:27
either right he didn't tip right yeah he was on it hilarious friends and family or some sort of night show belly room a
01:06:33
belly room yeah what show was it it was uh well see that's why because it was like but it was it was the spanish
01:06:40
show which was cool so i don't want to dog on the show yeah so wait what night is that you could also one-off that's
01:06:46
what you do you call francisco ramos yeah yeah and that was real yeah i love francisco so i don't know who rides a
01:06:53
motorcycle i don't listen listen i don't know who right there yeah yeah yeah yeah you know all right but everybody said
01:06:59
that guy's cool he shouldn't have talked to you like that that's right so maybe he was just having a bad day but and may there was a small chance he wasn't
01:07:05
calling that to me but the timing of it was like he seems a little like i just want to have a message i want to have a
01:07:11
message right now and this person's watching right now right i'm telling you right now they're not
01:07:17
they're not i don't want to make enemies with this guy on the motorcycle yeah you never know what he could do yeah so
01:07:22
we're not going to say his name ever right i'm not even going to push it i won't know his name but listen here chunky i live here
01:07:29
okay if you ever do that again we have a very big problem very big
01:07:34
problem and if you have a war with her you have a war with us you got a war with us right and you may think who
01:07:40
gives a [ __ ] this and that you know it's funny how can i say something i'll tell you what's funny can i tell you what's funny
01:07:45
it's funny what's funny is when we did the live here right yeah our buddy bart's doing it right love him bar bart
01:07:52
and i talked to barney i was like one that we made we met in 1998. he said 23
01:07:57
years ago yeah yeah whatever right and i and i a lot of my relationships right go
01:08:03
way back they're deep deep historical relationships and i've done a lot of
01:08:08
favors and i have a lot of really positive relationships with people and it's just a phone call motorcycle man
01:08:15
motorcycle man what it literally is just a phone call you know i wasn't uh done um
01:08:25
hey dave becky or whatever you know i'm not throwing names out there but you did anybody i just did yeah you know what i mean but anyway one of
01:08:31
the biggest managers in the world yeah the motorcycle man is a piece of [ __ ] any anybody's picking up your right
01:08:37
a you know any comedy club and let's just a stroop from columbus yup i i could go to specific
01:08:44
markets oh right we could hurt you regionally regionally you want you want me to go regional
01:08:50
ohio right ohio alone yo strew this guy piece of [ __ ]
01:08:55
nope over over hey um um go ahead batch cough basketball you know right
01:09:02
he owns all of the improvs in florida this guy yeah
01:09:07
what if you found out he was like one of these really good friends you've known for like 25 years it could be yeah it
01:09:12
can't be no there's no way because any of my a true friend would not call anyone a puta yeah right just for but
01:09:19
how funny would it also be because i thought about this too if he was like he had a really bad day and he was talking about someone at the grocery store and i
01:09:26
would just stand here right there yeah that could be that could be let's put an asterisk at the bottom yeah yeah yeah yeah
01:09:32
we're not saying his name and that's what i'm just saying if you did say it about her yeah yeah that there are
01:09:38
relationships that you know i mean that you're going to if you were saying it about someone at the grocery store carry
01:09:43
on carry on that's fine yeah you're allowed to be we're giving you a pass on this you're getting a pass you know
01:09:48
people right too right yeah you know some people dude you know yeah i guess i know who you know and that was the same night faison came in
01:09:55
and there were like other customers trying to park on the ramp so that whole night was just like it was a night nobody's [ __ ] with me tonight
01:10:04
see what you started motorcycle man oh god you're gonna get me [ __ ] riled
01:10:09
up here baby motorcycle man is just found himself in a bad place right yeah
01:10:15
and you know what for the future uh if anybody does go into the comedy
01:10:20
store a lot and you decide that you're gonna be a mini weenie and you enter the [ __ ] gates of hell
01:10:25
with juicy yeah you gotta answer the bad friends family i'm call rudy is she gonna slash their time yeah she will
01:10:30
this crazy [ __ ] we should put her in the parking lot with a knife and just stab people's tires yeah she'll do it you will won't you i'll do it yeah she
01:10:37
doesn't give a [ __ ] i also want to encourage you right so sh you did the korean soap opera sketch we did at the
01:10:43
la you'd like that right it was so good yeah is it available for people to see no we're gonna because we're gonna use it for the other lives it's so good
01:10:49
you're so good but you're acting in it was really good can we support you in
01:10:54
that why don't you why don't you wanna do stuff like that because i don't know it's embarrassing why is it
01:11:02
embarrassing i don't know because people are gonna watch it yeah were you embarrassed that night when they played it in front of 600 people yeah
01:11:09
no i saw your smile at i saw your smile she was texting backstage the referee jersey backstage
01:11:15
smiling yeah you were smiling and you were having a great time yeah you were and you were wallowing in it
01:11:21
i guess yeah yeah you were like negative you were oh you were sorry
01:11:28
you were wallowing you were swallowing you were swallowing you swallowed all of that yeah all that happened is you swallowed it you put it right in your mouth you loved it right yeah and
01:11:35
honestly it made you look good in front of your boyfriend no i made him not watch it what
01:11:42
he saw you on stage did he not yeah he saw the cheers yeah
01:11:47
that's so cool that he gives you the advantage it gives you the power dynamics
01:11:52
you got to make sure you get a prenup because you're powerful yeah yeah you're the you're the reason you can't boss you around no and i hugged him that night by
01:11:58
whisper stuff in his ears you know that right yeah yeah i should watch it
01:12:04
i think we should continue to act in fact what we should do because juice wants to act too we should do a [ __ ]
01:12:09
we should do a bad friends uh acting uh show debut show yeah we should debut an
01:12:16
acting show we should do a real drama a drama drama you're good at drama yeah yeah
01:12:22
well but it will be funny though right like will be dramatic
01:12:28
yes no i mean i kind of want to do a drama all right how about this if you're good at drama
01:12:34
i want you to break up with bobby right now like it's a real drama scene like you found out okay what was really going on and you're breaking up with bobby you
01:12:40
found out that he doesn't doesn't love you and he told everybody in your friendship circle oh so so we were dating how long were we dating you guys
01:12:46
are dating for 30 years for 40 years 30 years how no you dated for four years four
01:12:52
years i was at my bed and you found out from your group of friends that he's been saying how bad he wants out and he
01:12:57
just can't do it anymore he also might be in love with someone else can i be a different guy though no it's
01:13:03
you all right but can i have a different voice you can do anything you want a baby that's great okay
01:13:09
hey juicy what's up bobby we need to talk yeah
01:13:15
what are we doing now baby what's up we're talking now right baby i mean who
01:13:20
are you looking at i'm not here oh yeah you're the director i know but you don't want to direct her in the middle of a shoot when i act
01:13:26
cameras are uh let's look at the directors don't look at the [ __ ] director
01:13:33
see i actually get director and although i got a piece although this guy now he's got a plan see but juice is already
01:13:38
prepared you see how deep she's already yeah i'm in it hey hey any notes from me director yeah stop [ __ ] looking at it
01:13:44
oh my god my bad where's my mark right here yeah you're on it you don't have to move anywhere you're sitting down i'm sorry my bad all
01:13:49
right ready all right and action bobby we need we need to talk okay baby
01:13:54
what's up juicy what are we doing now stop [ __ ] looking at the director
01:14:00
i can't look at your scene no this is my first job okay it's all right it's fine so what you're saying not to look at you
01:14:06
never yeah never after i say action only how do you expect me to work with this i understand and i'm so
01:14:12
sorry miss juicy all right don't look at me i won't even look at you at all where's the camera at right there no i'm
01:14:18
not going to tell you where the [ __ ] camera is because then you need to look at the camera oh oh that's the camera right there i'll just look in the camera no no no
01:14:25
only at home and action bobby we we need to talk age you see
01:14:30
what's uh that's what i thought we're doing right now yeah but it's serious i i went through your cell phone yeah hey
01:14:37
[ __ ] i told you not is that the right line line
01:14:43
hey [ __ ] i told you not to go through my [ __ ] okay hey [ __ ] i told you not to go through my [ __ ] yeah well it's too
01:14:49
late for that i saw i saw all those pictures i saw those fingers in your [ __ ]
01:14:57
do you want to tell me who's whose fingers those were
01:15:02
oh did my fingers baby what's up no you both your hands were also in the
01:15:08
picture you were doing this oh that's right [ __ ] you caught me my
01:15:13
bad i was doing like this because i was doing a home alone i was doing a home
01:15:18
alone [ __ ] thing right yeah like oops which i thought was our thing that was
01:15:23
our thing my bad you know who that was no that's what i was telling you it was my mom
01:15:31
all right we got we got bigger broncos no because i have bumpies down there
01:15:37
yeah my mom you know my mom's a doctor right you never told me your mom was a doctor
01:15:43
she's not what's up what's the line
01:15:48
what are you trying to break up or something what was what
01:15:53
what does my mom do oh oh you're my oh because your mom says
01:15:59
you got to break up with this white [ __ ] oh yeah so my mom my mom said i gotta break up with this white [ __ ]
01:16:05
you know what yeah it's the first thing your mom's ever said that i agree with
01:16:13
cry so it's over so it's over
01:16:20
say goodbye to these pretty good really good really good
01:16:26
really really really good what about mine huh not really good not good not good yeah i think i've made the wrong
01:16:31
choice
01:16:41
when you when you were my age and you were pooing
01:16:46
does your [ __ ] like bleed a lot
01:16:52
yes okay just let that sink out
01:16:57
all right now i want to answer this without being funny yeah just let it
01:17:02
yeah just let let the moment my my [ __ ] has been bleeding a lot we get we get what you said and i haven't done
01:17:10
anything and you haven't done anal no right yeah doctor
01:17:16
yeah doctor okay yeah let me ask you are you are you pushing
01:17:22
no i don't even wait until like it just drops you wait till it comes out yeah
01:17:27
you eating those baby birds yeah the balloon the blue no okay um
01:17:33
so you probably have hemorrhoids no it's just bleeding your ass is just
01:17:39
bleeding yeah like right now is it maybe blood maybe wow
01:17:45
are you being real no honestly yeah i mean let me let's basically is it like rudy's dying is it
01:17:51
like the shining where like you poo and then it's like the elevator blood blood poop let's see what what does it mean
01:17:57
when you're just bl i it's usually hemorrhoids i don't wanna you haven't gone to a doctor no yeah well my next question is
01:18:05
how come yeah yeah we're doctors why don't you go
01:18:10
i'm just tired yeah that makes a lot of sense rectal bleeding is a symptom of conditions like hemorrhoids i said it
01:18:16
fissures inflammatory bowel disease you could have ibd ulcers and core and uh well the last one's cancer but you may
01:18:22
notice rectal bleeding on toilet paper in the water the toilet or in your stool is it everywhere all three of those the
01:18:27
trifecta no just a um paper paper just on the toilet paper yeah yeah maybe we
01:18:33
do a bad friend's trip to the doctor i think i'd like to be cool and yeah you should do that make it a real event are
01:18:38
you wiping too hard no okay i'm not a doctor that's probably the dumb question no that's not a dumb
01:18:44
question you can wipe too hard and cause it to tear you can oh yeah you can dry it out okay tear it up okay we got to
01:18:49
get this taken care of man yeah we got to fix this i thought you were kidding around you're not kidding around no i keep telling you oh [ __ ] man it's my
01:18:58
fault yeah you're a bad dad i'm a bad dad no we got to get this [ __ ] taken care of i thought you're saying as a
01:19:04
joke like my i have or we just thought you had maybe you know a little bit of diarrhea once in a while which is
01:19:09
normal yeah you're having it all the time yeah yeah you have ibd there you are
01:19:14
constipation yeah one of the other right they kind of go hand in hand yeah they're cousins all
01:19:20
right well we got to take you to a doctor yeah yes we have to [ __ ] go to a doctor but we we also can do it use it
01:19:25
in the show so we'll do it you're right juicy yeah we're going to go we'll take a bad friends trip to the doctor yeah you'll feel better if they go with you
01:19:32
yeah but the camera shouldn't be on my ass no [ __ ] no
01:19:38
it would help this yeah it'd be good for the show yeah we could animate it but juicy will be in there with you so it'll be a woman in there with you that'll
01:19:44
make you feel safe i'll be holding the camera she'll be holding the camera thank you for being a bad let's let
01:19:50
juice do it yeah yeah go ahead jews can we do it together yeah do it together okay okay this one yeah
01:19:58
thank you for being a best friend timing was bad let's do it again one two three thank you for being a bad friend
01:20:05
love it [Music]
01:20:13
do a woody allen no i wasn't that's why i stopped because i couldn't do one first of all
01:20:18
there it is yeah i don't know i just my back would he would it it's me
01:20:24
[Laughter] sonya can you um
01:20:29
come with your bed you're gonna that's a really good woody allen
01:20:37
[Music]
