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what up bad friends we got new merch look at this huh the bottoms of turtle island available now for pre-order only for this week for bad friends
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monday through friday then that's it a limited run this is also what the sweater looks like we got a sweater
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and the the uh the t-shirt here of the bottoms of turtle island if you're a fan of the film which i know so many of you are pre-order right now
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look down in the merch bar down below or just go to badfriendsmirch.com to pre-order this just for this week
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only and then it's gone badfriendsmerch.com go there pre-order it one week and then it's
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gone also come see me live andrew santino.com come check me out i'm on the road bobo
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is not but i am uh i'm gonna be in atlantic city at the end of the month then i go to houston then i go to
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madison and boston and nashville we're going all over the place so go to andrewsantino.com for
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them tickets baby you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude you two are disgusting oh you two or something we're bad friends i want to
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introduce uh you know what rudy you introduce our our fill in for the day our fill and guess
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go ahead rude um this will be great um welcome everybody this is tennis purpose dennis pappas dennis peppis is dennis pepes hi
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i'm dennis pappas do you know who this is i know his first name is chris chris yes what's his last name
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begins with a d don't that's gross don't do that don't go there this begins with a d
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i no you're not crystallia no yes no oh no this is chris did thank you i want to say rudy i apologize the last time i was in here um i gave everybody kovitz i gave
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everybody covet and i farted a lot and i i just want to say i apologize for that remember how repulsed you were he sat
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between us and uh he ate cake uh would you oh yeah you brought i brought cake from um from the bakery
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across the street whatever it's called oh cutie pootsie pudding pie cutesy puts in my ass cutesy puts he put in pie and now he's here today
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but today we really want more than anything rudy to take over the show because tito bobby is gone
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and i want her to kind of drive the engine today and tito bobby has gone up i've heard forever on the news yes
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yeah there was a crisis that he's out do you know what happened in hungary did you hear no he broke the quarantine rules
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and which i'm you know i'm not surprised and he went out to go get a video game they told him not to leave the hotel he got a video game and now he's in hungary jail yes and
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it's not good for him because if you know anything about history is the uh mongolians with genghis khan had really
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a lot they really ravage through hungary and anybody who looks mildly mongolian which bobby i would say
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looks moderately mongolian mild to medium mild to media and mongol mmm yeah he is there's a lot of retribution
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there rightfully so from what happened so bobby i don't know if he'll make it out of the hungarian jail probably not tbh do you want to send a
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message to tito bob because we're going to try to send this to hungary so hungary so why don't you send
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a message to tito bobby we can send this to him in hungary hi to bobby i hope you're okay
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i hope the video game was worth it yeah i know you said that you were really lonely there
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yeah and i hope that you're okay and i think isla is still mad at you bye bye bye it does seem like uh she it does seem like she doesn't even know him the more i hear her talk about him
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on the show it's almost like it's a guy she's never met before and what is it it's her uncle well it's kalila's kalila's
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niece you know niece's boyfriend okay she what's the relationship you got it i'm sorry collision there's kalila's niece
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that is kalila's niece male got it okay and you know and bobby is i mean i guess they're technically married yeah they're common law do you know that in california if you live together for
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look up common law california i think it's you live together if you live in the same residence for seven years your your common law married which means
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if they split like the house yeah they'd have to split it uh common law ooh there's not in california they don't
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recognize common law so he's good he can get out good he could get out does not have a common law marriage unmarried couples who have been together
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for an extended period of time do still have some right so she would have some rights some rights well you know if that
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ended if it ended tito bobby and and what is it what's anti again epic lila i know i thought there was a word for auntie it's filipino yeah it's filipino no no
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because i work i i work a lot when i was a physical therapist i work a lot with filipino you did oh in new york at least
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many of the healthcare professionals are filipinos are they most of them are especially
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physical therapists a lot i would say when i was working for the new york city board of ed it was there was me there was
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uh an indian woman and then there was like six or seven filipinos really yes can you name some of these people by the first name um um
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there was uh irwin catherine catherine uh arwen catherine yep um bobby um yeah the one guy's name was bobby but you would say bobby um that was
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manny of course manny sure he wasn't that wasn't just a puerto rican kid who got
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it no was that no i'm filipino it no no you know what now that i'm thinking back i think it might have actually been manny pacquiao
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but so and then we would go to um there was a uh uh a fast food place a filipino fast food
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filipino fast food place called um jolly something jolly bee jolly b they love they love chicken so they have them in los angeles okay so we would go to the one and there was one in jersey city and i remember
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for arwen's birthday that's what i got him i got him uh uh a whole thing of of jolly bee and a
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rooster and they that they liked it that's what they like yeah a live rooster why do you like why do you guys like
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jolly bee we've talked about it on this show but i really can't figure it out it just reminds you of the homeland yeah and the chicken is really good it's
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very good it's not like chick-fil-a chicken yeah you don't need chick-fil-a chicken's better isn't it i've never tried
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chick-fil-a filipino people i i the kindest um i personally think the kindest type of
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asian you don't think so japanese i don't know many japanese in new york japanese is more out here that's out here but filipino i i like i they to me
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filipino people are the kindest asian right at least in new york if i've met a japanese person
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um from japan yeah i i would i would like i would you would like them more i would like them more she'll tell you their filipinos can be mean really
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it depends but she can be mean hold up your hands rudy if you don't mind very small hands you have bigger hands
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for a filipino person but most of the filipino people i worked with had had very small hands that's why they were good at physical therapists
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physical therapy because they get their small fingers inside the muscles and behind the bones and i
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remember miss catherine said to me once i said what's the key for you to being such a good physical therapist and she
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said small filipino hands does that what you said that's what she said yeah and i and she said she said your hand's too big rudy is a giant in
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in the philippines very giant she's five seven five five five five how old are you rudy i'm 19.
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46. 19 years old so 19 years old um so there are it's getting to the point where you will be expected to in the filipino family to start to marry children coming up or not or more
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they're more new school no i don't want to have kids you don't want to hate kids so okay so
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okay yeah she doesn't want children and we're supporting that we support that because we also don't want her to start dating guys that's
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like a big no-no she's going away to college we're getting inside i want to date god no no on a date guys rudy we i already
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we went over this no no it's just not gonna happen we're gonna arrange a marriage for her we
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talked about it okay when she's 30 and we're going to arrange it we're going to put it all together
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fancy's going to be the little ring boy great you know pete is obviously going to be the flower girl sure uh bobby is going to be best man
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i'm going to be bridesmaid yes because yes i want my day yes and we're going to arrange the marriage
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she's going to be 30 years old and the wedding is going to take place in riverside california riverside california empire yeah we want in the ie
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because we want trucker hats and yes flatbeds and bros that's beautiful and sublime the whole
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sublime is the song that we're going to play all the sublime songs great yeah they're going to santeria is the
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first dance yeah i'll go i'll also come to the wedding by that time i would be about 50 i should be about
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three four years in a wheelchair like i hope so yeah do you really feel like you're getting old like that yeah
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yeah no i just feel like i just feel like you know i just feel like with me it's catching
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up it's not that it's catching up but i just i just feel like i'm destined to have some type of cerebrospinal injury
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[Laughter] i don't know where you're going yeah you do you probably will get paralyzed yes at some point no rudy you can start
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dating and we're just so nervous about it because i feel like you're like part of my family now and i just don't like the
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idea of boys in college and yeah parties because you're not going to be out partying you're going to be still living at home right yeah but i also want to party what's your dream
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in school dream college um i don't have yeah she doesn't okay devry or phoenix online is what i phoenix online yeah yeah p-h-e-d-u i can be i can go to any school i want
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you to go to who do you hear what you just pepperdine i can go to any school because do you have good grades and i guess
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she's very smart now she asked her any school no no no no i don't think she has any school
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questions she's very smart seriously what's the capital of the philippines there you go it's manila manila that's it give her another one
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okay okay look at how good she is go anything anything from school anything from school and not even
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american history just any school american history she did have to study american history how many planets are there and can you name them that's not
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american but yeah well we discovered space americans discovered outer space do you know the
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acronym for all the planets no what is it my very i don't know what it is i just know them you know what i'm talking about well let's see mercury mercury venus my very something mother
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earth my very earth my very astute mother well it stood's with an a astute astute
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a-s-t-u-t-e yes shh astute astute look up the acronym of the planets my very astute mother or something like my very cause i don't know what it is have you ever heard of this you guys didn't do
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this in school no plan an acronym my very educated mother see just just served us noodles racist
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that is extremely racist that is extremely and i want to say on behalf of the of the white community i apologize for
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an acronym like that that is that is horrible that a white woman did that you see what they did serve this noodle
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educated mother meaning like oh she's book smart she must be an asian mom noodle that's how they did that that's
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disgusting that's repulsive wikihow disgusting there are many other end foods yeah go ahead
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my very educated mother served us nutella nutella that's why you're a 36 waist that's yeah
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i love oh i love sugar and it's a hazelnut treat rudy let's make let's let's do an acronym for you my let's let's see what you're actually going to be for mercury venus earth mars
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jupiter saturn uranus neptune although didn't we we went back and forth on mars for a while didn't we
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no not mo um um what do you mean mars like if it's a planet or not if it's if it's habitable it's it oh if it's
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inhabitable but we you know pluto pluto is around yeah well good we don't so what would it be what was it
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when we were kids it would be my very because now they're missing pluto so i'd say my very educated mother served us noodles [ __ ] maybe that's how
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you remember the pluto that's how they had no problem dropping it off the end [Laughter]
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uh my very m my very uh erotic mother yes just served us no just nasty [ __ ] just sucked how about my very erotic
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mother just sucks just sucked us just sucked us nice nice that's the one okay rudy so that's what it is
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how disgusting so you go to pepperdine and you tell them that let's see what they say in malibu oh my
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buddy told me such a funny story cause when you said japanese man at the beginning of this it reminded me you know because when you put man after
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something it's racist now you know what do you mean well you can't say like china man is racist no you can't say that right that's racist
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right but my friend was had a driver for him like he had a driver was taking him to this job and he was in london and the
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british guy was like you know he's talking about america and talking about pc culture and whatever oh
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hello america yeah in america and my buddy's just sitting there nodding off just like yeah whatever and he goes i mean you can't even say
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[ __ ] anymore and my buddy's like no i don't think he can yeah and he goes but why not
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he goes uh i don't think they like it and he goes yeah but look he's from china isn't he
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yeah he's chinese he's a man from china china man i'm from england i'm a man i'm an
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englishman and he goes yeah but i think it's that they don't like it he goes what if some englishmen don't like to be called englishmen he's like i think you guys got to make a big thing about it and then it'll get more
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attention so let's make a big thing right now because i it's racially englishman i actually just
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found out recently through ancestry.com that i am i think eight percent english no
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offended by what you just the accent you just did offended sorry i have offended well i'm sorry i take it
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off yeah yes and i should work i'm trying to work on my accents because i'm watching uh
00:14:25
the drive to survive the formula one shot oh me too dude i'm in season two let me tell you
00:14:30
something you ever watched this do you know what f1 is no do you you've never heard of it before it's race race cars look pull up
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f1 pizza she can i didn't know a thing about i i've been here for two months in l.a when i got to
00:14:41
la i didn't know a thing about this now i cannot i would pay do you want to go to the one in miami though how bad he is
00:14:47
at google what are you doing he's [ __ ] like kites i mean pete jesus christ god pete he brings up kites like do you mean f1 kite kiting competition in long beach
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every year no pete yeah f1 cars that's have you ever seen these before and yes i do want to go
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it's in miami yeah grand prix is in miami at the end of this year well you know there there usually is one in long beach and i've been to the one in long
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beach like the one with all these big time drivers f1 is in long beach yeah they do they did one so i let me understand something though real
00:15:16
quick okay because watching that documentary and maybe if this is too esoteric inside stuff if it is i'll i'll
00:15:22
be quick but like mercedes and and and um who's the other one who always wins well
00:15:28
for a long time it was just mercedes and ferrari but that but mclaren is doing pretty well but they are but but it feels like at least in
00:15:35
this in this netflix thing it's like you it's impossible to beat mercedes and ferrari it's not fair like sports is fair in the
00:15:40
sense of yes some team can get better players but literally they are in better machines yeah it's
00:15:46
almost like mercedes and ferrari allowed to use steroids and nobody else can correct so that for me why it's a little
00:15:52
bit of a disconnect i'm like they're not all in fair machines well no well no well technically i mean all the standards
00:15:58
have to be the same right so they often meet the same kind of standard you can't go like you you couldn't have an engine that would have so much more
00:16:05
power than the other engines i mean tweaks make them performance better but like there's a
00:16:10
there's standards of what that means yeah it couldn't be like one guy driving a a honda crv versus a
00:16:16
ferrari testarossa you know you can't like there's a there's a level that all these cars kind of have to meet they have to
00:16:21
follow these qualifications both for like design of the cars and both for the the weight and the
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the the engine output and all that stuff it has to meet specifications because mercedes and ferrari it seems like they're always winning though is that
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just because they're lewis hamilton and the other guys lewis hamilton is he's just a superior driver he's one of the greatest drivers of all
00:16:38
time right i mean i think some people would say he might be the greatest f1 and i mean what a handsome gorgeous do you know who lewis
00:16:44
hamilton look him up you she could what if what if lewis hamilton right there would like rudy out on a
00:16:50
date would that be okay would you go on a date with someone like louis i don't even know how old he is i think he might be in his thirties but
00:16:56
he gets paid 30 million dollars a year to drive her 30 million he's driving race cars [Music]
00:17:02
is he cute to you yeah but he's so old he's old and that's how we feel with her we're
00:17:07
old yeah we're old yeah he's not old he's like 30 years old but to her she's like he's old and gross he's yeah and i mean
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we're so we're disgusting that to you i'm 36 and andrew's 37 actual truly hideous be i don't need it
00:17:19
for me because i already know rudy but on a scale of one to ten our guest today as a guy looks wise what is what is he
00:17:26
looks wise like old man you go oh that old guy he he's like a what out of ten five yeah
00:17:34
i knew that was coming i could feel that yeah that's what you are even with this i doesn't matter the five
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that the smile makes it less maybe four nights okay okay try try this how about now rude
00:17:45
four four yeah it got worse i could feel that what about when i'm sipping a drink
00:17:50
three two yeah it's gone down it's going waiting a two yeah what about side profile oh my god
00:17:56
it's even worse zero zero yeah you just keep plummeting so i i got some points when you're dead on not smiling not eating or drinking you actually look okay so who's a handsome comedian to you oh
00:18:09
my god davidson no no okay i like john melanie she likes john malay well taken by
00:18:15
another asian no he's divorced no he's with olivia munn it's all over the news he came out he's dating olivia munn this is like he
00:18:22
left his wife and i'm not now i'm not i'm not up to date yeah well you know wait a minute this just happened didn't
00:18:27
he just go to rehab and get a divorce and now he's with olivia it's kind of like it was like it was one of those things i was sitting with with jasmine my girlfriend
00:18:39
was like eight months pregnant and she said the same thing she was like i wasn't john mulaney she's like i thought that he was in rehab and like
00:18:45
she he always talks about his wife and i was like yeah but you know that you know because she saw on the new york post and she was like and now he's
00:18:51
she was like and now he's out with olivia munn and i was like yeah she goes oh hell no she like said that no she said that for like she
00:18:58
was like if i was john mulaney she was like i would be in his face like you ain't walking around with this half asian [ __ ] in front of me you know like i mean but i mean let's
00:19:11
just be let let me just be honest on the record i don't care what it says i mean olivia munn
00:19:16
she is i mean vixen beautiful she is going to ruin his life yeah and he's got the drug
00:19:24
[Laughter] what i mean sign me up i mean i'd love to ruin my life with actually olivia munn or john mullaney he's a hottie i agree with rudy i'm going to go with malaney on this one over olivia munn
00:19:36
i'd take him hold him down and break him well because you could control him yeah i'd like to go he's definitely not a type a yeah like if he starts you know
00:19:42
coming around yeah slap him around say johnny well why do you get you you wanna hang out and have something i
00:19:47
grab him by the throat and i say john you shut up and you kiss me softly on the lips right now [ __ ] do it
00:19:52
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podcast i like john melanie i think he's a i think he's a very funny dude i i had no i the one thing i found very strange
00:22:22
was he did like all these that that netflix thing he did with all the kids yes i was like what is who is this for yeah it's weird it's just here's what i don't i like him i think he's very funny dude he's an undeniably
00:22:34
talented guy yeah but but also it's weird when you do a kids show when you don't have kids
00:22:40
i'm always if you're a guy if you're a girl like tiffany haddish talking to dumb young kids
00:22:46
funny funny yeah john melanie doing a pla kind of like a theater play with kids right who doesn't physically have kids i'm always like hmm right i don't i don't think it's one of
00:22:56
those things where i don't think that it's anything necessarily inappropriate like no i didn't think inappropriate i think
00:23:02
it's but i think that's what i was going to get to i think it's just like there's a part of his brain that's a little like
00:23:07
weird because if you have kids and you do a kids show it's totally it's like oh he's it's why like uh what it sandler
00:23:13
was like yeah yeah people talk [ __ ] i started making kids movies because i have kids now well that's why i made movies for my kids well that's that's the thing is if
00:23:20
i was in the adam sandler's position or even a john mullaney's position i had the ability i would probably make a kid show only because
00:23:25
the entertainment i'm watching ninety percent of my day is children stuff with my kids so it's like in my it's not even for
00:23:31
them it's just that's where my my mind is in that zone so i'm thinking about okay children's books children's
00:23:36
stuff right animation because that's all i want so maybe he was watching a lot of kid stuff maybe he was down time he just loved kid stuff well he's
00:23:42
because a lot of white guys who like are into anime and all that stuff they also have an asian fetish here we go yeah olivia munn yeah that's
00:23:50
why is that a thing yeah it's like uh white guys really nerdy white guys love uh asian stuff and and really nerdy black guys nerdy black guys ron funch has had a great joke like he
00:24:00
said every young nerdy black kid wants to be japanese right and i think what's the reason for that you think yeah i don't know
00:24:08
why do young black kids want to be japanese yeah maybe that's the name of the episode ron said young black nerdy kids i'm gonna go i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm
00:24:14
gonna make a statement and say all young black men want to be japanese i feel it i mean the wu-tang clan what was that about what
00:24:20
was that about tiger woods what was that about what was that though so if olivium breaks up with mullany you would you you'd think you'd be interested in him
00:24:32
and you know he's also old compared to what you're he's older than me he's older than us he has a lot more money than us what is he 40 no he's like
00:24:39
30 he's our age he's 36 37. oh wow he started stand up when he was 15 16 years old he's [ __ ] killing it killing me insane good for
00:24:46
him good for him i'm driving a nissan armada it's a nissan marauder isn't it i thought it was a nissan your mama your mama 38 years old uh oh what's his birthday
00:24:56
august 26th yeah guess who else's birthday's august 26 christopher paul anthony de stefano
00:25:02
that's right mwah you share a birthday he's exactly two years older than me and exactly a
00:25:07
hundred million dollars ahead of me at least yeah he's a whole f1 sports team ahead of me who else uh who else is
00:25:13
type in famous people's birthday i know what october uh august 26th macaulay culkin really callie conkin august 26th let's
00:25:21
see if famous august 26th birthdays if mine even pop i don't even think i'm on the i may i'm not even on the you'll never make notable alumni from my high
00:25:27
school no the or you're not i'm not okay look at this oh wait do you know some of these people
00:25:32
rudy um a little little techa you know little tekka up top no who's little teca you don't know little
00:25:39
teca who's little taco he does that song which one it's me little tucker i'm just
00:25:44
hanging out you don't know that song oh yeah it's me little tucker i'm just hanging out
00:25:49
it's me little taco i'm just hanging out yes and his friends our background are just like we with little taka and we just hanging
00:25:56
out you don't know that song yes i have heard that song it was in melanie's kids show oh okay um james harden also same birthday
00:26:02
that's dope wow that's good all the beard feels pine chris pine handsome it's mother teresa
00:26:09
whoa mother teresa that's a big one king sid who didn't learn how to smile at a young age and just kept that yes melissa mccarthy she's dope wow
00:26:20
look at all the august 26ers i cannot believe you didn't make it i didn't yeah i didn't keep going down let's see how many other
00:26:26
people oh wow and these are okay this is just nobody at some point look at that yeah look at collin tv
00:26:32
zoom in on colin tv you got beat no no bottom left you got beat up by colin tv his name's colin tv that's his full name that's his full name yeah yeah and i lost colin tv this guy's more fun let's check
00:26:44
your birthday let's see if you made the list all right famous famous people on october 26th exact way you put it in
00:26:50
just type it into that very site pete yeah that's what that side yeah pull up more kites pull up more guns that's what pizza's
00:26:57
gonna october 16th let's see who the fam and then we have to do rudy rude yeah uh i actually know somebody because
00:27:03
john mayer and i have texted bryce harper yes you made it no i didn't make it i just like bryce okay wait wait a minute wait a minute okay like zoom into j fred
00:27:15
that guy is more famous than me jay fred he might have a bunch of youtube files is that our business manager
00:27:21
yes yes that guy looks like a guy that works for me yeah jay fred all right zoom out let's see
00:27:27
who else i know john mayer because we've uh we've talked about it uh who else i mean this is and he is not 25 that's a lot he's a 38 year old man this guy's in his
00:27:38
mid 60s right but when you're rushing you can do whatever you want yeah look at the girl that's dead is more famous than me
00:27:44
she died young so she started last year rest in peace ashley ross i didn't know anything about here i'm sorry about that
00:27:50
look here's terry tv terry tv right you had colin tv yeah you got terry tv yeah i'm the new
00:27:57
bowl wait for the balls zoom out but you got beat by my new ball look but i love minute and
00:28:04
flea by the way fleece is pretty cool flea's cool whoa no balls dead too oh my god he died in
00:28:10
2010 jesus for being two he didn't make it you and i didn't make it what's your birthday rudy let's see if you made it let's see god if you're on this i'm going to be [ __ ] i'm walking out of this studio she
00:28:21
does dude you know every time i ask you what's your birthday rudy so he can search november 9th november 9. so every time i'm doing
00:28:27
shows afterwards i'm you know like if i'm toying around with the crowd when i check drop and i'm asking questions i'm like let's you know let's
00:28:33
have a chat because the you can't sometimes you just can't do meet and greets i get it and every time the question is about her
00:28:38
is rudy gonna stay on the show yeah we love rudy so much dude she has 70 000 instagram followers
00:28:43
that's more than most people in comedy yes you know yeah more people would kill to everyone i know when i wear the sweatshirt people
00:28:49
come up to me like oh rudy do you know rudy because it says rudy's knives on the back since so annoying i said yes she's she doesn't want to be with anyone
00:28:55
and she wants no children she wants no children she hates people yeah she's going to pepperdine uh oh french montana is on your birthday
00:29:02
huh that's what he says and jerry purp drank ooh jerry perptrank i like that he has a
00:29:09
really white guy nerd name and perp drank as his last name look at this cringe carter
00:29:18
that's what his frat called him oh god he looks like a dick he's like hey what's up somebody [ __ ] french carter dude [ __ ] saa for live dougie
00:29:25
scroll down who else is on there christian ooh nick lachey has the same birthday as you you don't even know who that is you
00:29:31
don't know who that is you've never heard of 98 degrees she's 19 dude that was like that was when we were
00:29:36
[ __ ] 19. what about the backstreet boys are in sync i've heard of those two but you don't
00:29:41
like care but crazy like who was oh you know how about this how about this me and andrew did podcast with
00:29:47
somebody from fifth harmony does that excite you oh yeah no she says even now that's too old oh my god third one in on the first row cisco baby make your booty go
00:29:58
oh do you know what the thong song is oh yeah all right that's great go down oh hedy lamarr oh my god do you know anything about how did he lamarche yeah that's nowhere she's a genius
00:30:10
yeah so hedy lamarr created she was a very famous actress um but at the same time was the one that
00:30:17
created um a frequency hopping yes literally creating frequency having that our [ __ ] military ended up using and she didn't get credit for it for years yes this is very doesn't mean anything
00:30:28
to anybody but she really she was really smart and she was a cool actress but she was like i'm not just pretty i'm smart she created this
00:30:34
this frequency hopping where yes radios could communicate with each other on different channels yes and she was [ __ ] [ __ ] and she was
00:30:40
the face she was the original inspiration for snow white that's right that's her eddie lamar she was a big actress
00:30:46
snow white white snow is what snow white go down scroll down sleek white hail white we got it all we got all the precipitation fancy are you circumcised
00:31:00
is that a thing in spain absolutely and you guys love calamari out there right isn't calamari like a
00:31:06
calamari sandwich like a main dish yes yes calamari is huge in spain i just watched my octopus teacher man i'm
00:31:11
pissed off about it and i told you about that i thought he was being sexually aggressive with that occupation what did you think it made me get
00:31:17
emotional it also creeped me out a little bit did you guys see that i didn't like it what did you think did we talk about this already
00:31:23
we did i did it was it made me emotional i didn't i know i just watched it again i just was made me like
00:31:29
on the plane i shouldn't have watched it on the plane you know what i don't like watching on uh stuff on the plane because you can feel
00:31:35
people looking at your screen yes i don't like that i don't like that either ipad needs to come out with
00:31:40
like a thing that just attaches to my eyes so i can just stare at it no one can one time on a flight this was like 2019
00:31:46
i was on a flight i was reading a book and the name of the book is the nazi symbiosis and it has a big swastika
00:31:52
okay on the side and i was reading it and it's about it's about how the whole time you're just going
00:31:58
dying no no no it's i think i've told this story once on did i i probably told this story once on another podcast but it just what you're saying this is a real thing i was sitting next to a
00:32:10
woman i didn't realize you know i was always in the aisle seat so she was she could see the cover because i was like that and there was a part in this
00:32:17
book the nazi symbiosis which is really about it's kind of like about nazi and like the eugenics and like
00:32:23
how like the mind how their minds turned into doing what they did it's like a it's like follows that
00:32:29
so one part but they would talk about like the the horrors of the holocaust and there's a part
00:32:35
in the holocaust where they it's not funny well you're laughing already no no no no
00:32:40
no no they wanted to like hitler and and and goebbels himmler and well gerbils the propaganda
00:32:46
minister himmler was like really like right they were the ones that like doing like the experiments and they had one
00:32:51
experiment where they wanted to they were going to try to like invent something where like nazis could fly
00:32:58
like some type of like flying power so they would they would take members like jewish members you know
00:33:04
people in the holocaust and in like this big slingshot shut up i swear to god like throw them up into the air with like
00:33:10
this potion and they would all just like what to see if they could fly with this thing because they would do
00:33:15
all these experiments and they would fall what like i'm talking about like a hundred yards in the air and then they'd
00:33:20
fall and obviously died and when i was reading it like it was so shocking to me that i was like
00:33:25
like almost like repulsed by and like laughing and this woman at the end of the flight was like you
00:33:31
know i just thought it was a little inappropriate that you were giggling in that book and i want to know what that was about and i
00:33:37
just explained i've told the story before and i explained to her that hey like the nazis were putting injecting members
00:33:43
of the holocaust like this magic potion and putting them in a slingshot and throwing them up into the air and yeah they were falling on the floor so
00:33:49
it's horrible but i thought it was funny and she was like you know someone in my family kill was killed in the holocaust and i don't think
00:33:55
anything about that book was funny and i was like nothing about the holocaust is funny like zero about the holocaust it's funny i was
00:34:01
like but that you know like that's why i was laughing at that shotting people they were slingshotting people into the air and then just
00:34:08
standing there and like this one didn't work that was so insane you know and so well
00:34:14
try it again yes get it out of honey reload like think about the mindset of these
00:34:20
[ __ ] pieces of [ __ ] it is crazy that it's so interesting to want to learn about that stuff in history
00:34:25
but the more you read it the more you're like i can't believe this is what people actually thought well it's one of those things too where i you know i love history and i'm
00:34:31
fascinated with with reading books or watching documentaries about the enemies of the united states because
00:34:37
when you read about the united states it's like it's always like you know way we're winners or we're going to put it to our citizens in a certain way
00:34:43
when you read about other countries you're like oh it's all it's all the same everywhere
00:34:49
you go it's all the same it's just the people group gets power and they treat the other group like dogs
00:34:54
[ __ ] that's just what happens anywhere from any country you go to yeah but it's interesting but it's an interesting thing well i mean those
00:35:01
books it is it like that but that's why i'm so afraid i don't want to i don't want to like look at stuff on a
00:35:06
plane that i'm like there's stuff that i want to read or watch but you just can't the guy on the way on the way in was
00:35:12
watching game of thrones he was a really cool dude we started chatting he was a baseball scout for the cincinnati reds
00:35:17
oh sweet yeah and he gave me can you be on the team because you have right here he said yes wow he said yes i asked he said yes i said my buddy
00:35:23
chris is going to want to know when i get back to you if i could be on the team and he said you got it kiddo gave me a card so i think i'm pitching next week
00:35:29
great i gotta go to nettie i wanna come he said he's uh he's he was watching game of thrones and he had and he had it tilted a little bit
00:35:36
mm-hmm and uh he was talking about the f1 show and he was like that's great he's like i'm watching game of thrones but i gotta be careful on a plane because you know
00:35:42
a lot of nudity on the on the show and i'm like well you're you know you're good you're good for me and he was like yeah but you know
00:35:48
i've had it where like a kid is looking through the crack you know behind like just a little like
00:35:53
a little perfect kid and he goes i had to like put my elbow up through to block the seat
00:36:00
otherwise you have to turn to the dad and be like hey dude he's getting some titty education right now yeah yeah but that show i you do realize that when i when i
00:36:06
watch stuff and i'm like i can't right i don't want because even though even though it's like it's not like a
00:36:12
porn it's just like a rated r show or movie yeah but then you see someone you're conscious of it like a
00:36:18
whenever a sex scene i'm always like okay but you know what though my feeling though like if my kid you
00:36:23
know i've been on flights with my kids i kind of like once we walk i tell them all the time like once we walk
00:36:29
out like there are rules in the house like you know no cursing obviously there'll be no nudity but once you walk out into the real
00:36:35
world you're going to see stuff i don't want to shield them from that because then they grow up yeah and they act like idiots so i would
00:36:41
just you know if they turned around i was like what's going on i'd be like well you know cersei's getting she's getting [ __ ]
00:36:46
pounded well i guess you know i guess the nudity and sexuality of the united states is so different like
00:36:53
is nudity common in the philippines it's not a big deal huh yeah my siblings my my brothers watch
00:37:00
like anything like that and my mom doesn't care right nobody says anything but rudy even
00:37:05
on like the equivalent of like the cbs like the local you know like the mainstream shows they
00:37:10
don't even block it out right the filipino like the united states we block all that stuff out or we say oh you know
00:37:16
you you can't say [ __ ] you have to say poo poo but then you know they'll show rambo with like ak-47s and grenades
00:37:22
and you're like yeah well obviously you know we're okay with guns and deaths because we're a militarized country we
00:37:27
love the id like we got that's defense dude defense but sex is naughty no the sex is wrong
00:37:33
did you see today jeremy corbell came out uh there's more ufo stuff where they're saying like now there's more
00:37:38
sightings and and now the navy is starting to say spokespeop spokes uh people from the active navy
00:37:45
not like retired like active navy today are saying uh we believe they're a threat as well so now it's like
00:37:52
it's going to happen before the end before i i've been saying this in almost every podcast i go on before the end of this year is over i
00:37:58
guarantee you they say the aliens are real and i guarantee you they will say they're a threat and here's the thing baby
00:38:05
they are not real that is other governments making aliens using their technology that they
00:38:10
found those aliens are not real do not believe it when you see it they are not real who's making them what
00:38:17
country we have reverse engineered technology from these alien civilizations that have landed
00:38:24
here crash-landed and we have take and they are all but peaceful with us they don't really care about us but in order for a threat i don't know
00:38:30
if it's the one percent right of course it always could be george soros i don't know but people now are going to because the
00:38:36
only way to unite us again is to have a war we've already fought each other there's only so many countries so now you have the israel-palestine
00:38:43
thing happening what's going on go on it's about jesus was it in that book yes yeah so so so you have that that's happening and that's going to reach reach a precipice very soon and
00:38:57
then the aliens are coming right before uh the new year is up and we're going to be at war maybe not at
00:39:02
war with them but the the governments of the world are going to say we need to unite forget about racism and sexism and
00:39:08
transgender bathrooms we have a real threat now and it's aliens want to take us away every time there's been a pandemic every
00:39:14
time there's been a pandywandy alien sightings have increased tenfold the bubonic plague people started
00:39:20
talking about aliens 1918 people talking about aliens so a lot of people think now aliens may have been
00:39:26
the ones that dropped coven 19 not the people from wuhan it sounds alien-esque yes but do not believe it when you see it folks yes so aliens did it coveted 19 was
00:39:38
aliens was aliens potentially and the aliens that we're going to fight before 2021 is over
00:39:43
are not real they are government psyops well what government our government chris is one world government oh it's
00:39:49
the illuminati yeah it's the illuminati bespoke post oh my you know what andrew yes the one thing you can say about me is i love adventures and surprises you do you guys love to go to jail when i
00:40:01
get three yeah when i get a box of awesome from bespoke post they have so many cool things like
00:40:06
camping gear yeah flasks yeah cooking tools cool like knives yeah that's where rudy got her knives yeah from bespoke boxes awesome no matter what you're into they've got you covered this is the best part about this
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you just go on their website you fill out this little tiny survey uh and they basically match you with
00:40:22
some of the cool stuff that they've got inventory wise and it changes all the time yeah which is really cool i got bob
00:40:28
outdoor gear bags for when they went to joshua tree that he thanked me for graciously yeah the bar ware which i got because
00:40:33
you know i'm a booze bag so i wanted new rock glasses and a decanter and you know how you get started
00:40:39
you gotta take this quiz at box of awesome.com and your answers answers will help them pick the right
00:40:44
box of awesome for you that's cool they release new boxes every month across a ton of different categories it's free to sign up you can skip or
00:40:50
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00:41:01
code check out that's awesome.com code bad friends that's box of awesome dot com code bad
00:41:08
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betterhelphelp.com bad friends rudy can we interest you enjoying q and q and on oh you're cute and now we're in cute and
00:42:34
now you're in a new group can we interest you in that and q anon do you know what q9 is no maybe you should go i would that's something i
00:42:40
think to write a nice college essay on on cue pro queueing on your pro your pro your pro-q okay what is that
00:42:45
just just be pro-q and write about it just say i'm pro-q you believe in aliens yeah yeah kind of yeah that's part of it
00:42:53
okay that's just a uf ufo sighting spider-man that was just somebody from the coronavirus why is that well because
00:42:58
and it go i watched this saw this on ancient aliens where every time there's a there's a pandemic
00:43:03
you sound like my dad my father loves ancient aliens i mean ancient aliens that's all it is yeah
00:43:09
yeah he's like tucker carlson and the ufos yes it's funny that the same guys that
00:43:14
are just like uh hardcore republicans are also like pyramids were built by aliens dude
00:43:20
well because they say like the the the sightings there were no triangles nobody nobody did triangles before the
00:43:27
uh uh egyptians did them in the pyramids and they say that some of the alien ships that they're seeing now are perfect triangles but don't you think
00:43:34
that could have just been figured out by a guy at some point no you don't think so you don't think some guy was just like
00:43:40
okay and that shape made sense look at that yeah they are beautiful structures there have you ever been there no i'm not going to [ __ ] egypt yeah yuck
00:43:51
i'm just kidding i'm joking no you know what's funny is they say like literally i do want to go back like half
00:43:57
a mile now from these pyramids is a pizza hut there's a pizza i think there's one inside the third pyramid
00:44:04
pizza hut the the pyramid oh look at that pizza you can see the pyramid by the way i like that get a cheesy stuff crust and
00:44:11
[ __ ] go ahead and see the pyramids why the hell not who's gonna say no to that dude that's a great idea yeah
00:44:16
that's like that reminds me of that that show uh an idiot abroad carl pink pilkington oh and gervais travis that
00:44:22
was my favorite bit that they did when they went to that old those old cities those ruins that were built into the wall built into the
00:44:29
mountainsides and the palace was on one side oh and um in i think it's like in iran right is it
00:44:35
it's it's yes it's in the middle it's in the middle east and he goes um and they take him to the palace and then
00:44:40
they take him to the slums and he was like well rather live in the slums where you wake up and look at the palace every morning
00:44:46
why would you want to wake up in a palace look at the slums every [ __ ] morning and i was like it actually makes me makes so much sense yeah it's like that
00:44:53
that is why like i i like not living fancy rich in the hollywood hills yeah cause i get to look up at the mountains yeah it's beautiful
00:44:59
i don't want to look down at scum like me ugh i don't want to live fancy and look down
00:45:05
by the way i did you know first class that i was flying in this morning only because i didn't pay for it uh it did that thing where you get on
00:45:11
the plane in the middle and then you split left and right oh you know that we're left this first class and right at them yeah and it was
00:45:16
kind of fun because uh there was a woman who was causing a real annoying fit at the front desk like complaining about like why she was
00:45:23
in whatever group she was in she older blonde lady big hair probably had two [ __ ] bottles of kim crawford
00:45:28
chardonnay before by 8 a.m and she was just like she was just being like annoying she was loud it's 8 30 in the
00:45:34
[ __ ] morning and she's like and the desk person is just like [ __ ] yeah what do you want me to do it's a computer you have one what do you want
00:45:41
i don't like it's over and she's wanting me to whatever whatever anyway i get on the plane and then i see
00:45:48
her get on and she's kind of looking fancy like she has rich stuff on you know when somebody looks like they have rich stuff i don't
00:45:53
even know but it looks like eats like pete's uh like fancy's pants exactly he looks like he has rich stuff
00:45:58
yeah it turns out his tommy hill finger right and i'm on the plane and i get up to grab my charger i've already been on
00:46:04
the plane i get up to get my charge out of my bag and i look and this old annoying cow doesn't make a left with us she goes down to the back
00:46:11
of the plane i liked it that's what she gets yes for complaining and thinking that she's important people think they're important
00:46:16
all the time no [ __ ] special and then and then you're going to hawaii i'm going to hawaii come on i'm going to
00:46:22
lay it man i can't wait i'm going to the big island i've never been to the big island before i've never been hawaii period have you been a wife here no yes it's incredible yeah is it great
00:46:30
i've been a few times how have you never been well because because i think people who live in california like go there but you gotta
00:46:35
for us it's like a 12-hour thing right it's only five for us yeah so you could you could i'm sure
00:46:40
there's people in la who go to hawaii for the weekend and come back i don't know about the weekend but people do oh yeah rich people i guess that yeah yeah we go
00:46:46
in new york we go to atlantic city oh you guys did you go with bobby yeah last time also we're going next
00:46:51
week oh you guys are going back well but bobby's not coming no he's not wait where are you guys going
00:46:57
kawaii yeah kawaii is great it's all it's like very vegetative i've been to maui kauai i've never been
00:47:03
to the big island though what's the big island hawaii is that like honolulu where honolulu is maui
00:47:10
so the big island's called the big island it's hawaii the big island oh so but wait so you're saying like
00:47:15
when you fly into a place you're sitting like somebody's address i live on 1713 pineapple street the big
00:47:21
island it's actually coconut road yeah see look that that's the one i'm going to the big one down in the back hawaii there you go
00:47:27
so kawaii how far of a flight is from hawaii to to the last one i think it's only an
00:47:32
hour but so do you when you get on a flight when you fly like when you were going from los angeles to hawaii to big island
00:47:40
you do you always have to land on the big island and then you take little planes from there you can go direct you can fly right into honolulu got it honolulu
00:47:47
honolulu sorry that's right and maui is waialea or whatever lanai is the one i want to go to got it that's where they have all the pygmy wolves that you can cut you can run out and catch you can do
00:47:58
hunt and go seek but do you like when you go to hawaii could you have to just usually pick one island or can you go in one trip go to a lot of people will fly
00:48:05
into the big island and you can you i think you can take boats and cruises and trips to round there's cruises that go to all of them you know
00:48:11
but which one is looks more like is in honolulu looks like just a city right like you're not really in hawaii when you go to
00:48:16
honolulu kind of feels like shitty beverly hills got it it's kind of has like a lot of fighters like tommy hill finger stores
00:48:23
and right kate spade it has a lot of like typical commercial [ __ ] um uh uh uh maui does too i mean i think i think kawaii has the least amount of the [ __ ] right and the
00:48:37
big island is is the most populous so it has everything you've ever needed have you ever done stand up there at that
00:48:42
blue pearl room or something like that no but you know that's literally why i'm going tomorrow to do stand up and no i know to do stand up but but not
00:48:48
at that place oh i've never performed in hawaii whether it's for a private event like i'm doing it or for public i do know people that do that
00:48:54
that have because it's just you tomorrow too just a one-man show it's a little awkward no but who cares you just go in there and you [ __ ]
00:49:00
there's gonna be it there's like 15 people there's gonna be at they hand me the mic and i'm gonna go yeah hey
00:49:06
hey hey hey hey hey hey and three guys are just gonna be like yeah yeah but we'll have fun
00:49:13
well fine and then you go and you'll hang out there for a few days you might have to do hey hey yeah i've been hanging out for a
00:49:20
few days and i'm gonna go uh i'm gonna go swim with sharks which i'm excited about and hopefully
00:49:25
uh get my wife out there and then the boat takes off great help and i'm like where'd she go yeah dude you come back yeah then you
00:49:37
and i can do what we always wanted to do yes yes yes yeah no i think uh i know i think it's gonna be fun get back
00:49:43
jasmine would [ __ ] make it back i know she'd make it back even eight months she's gonna swim back she'd swim back on
00:49:48
the back of a shark she'd she'd come out of the water and i'll be like you [ __ ] she's yeah yeah
00:49:54
yeah [ __ ] i swam all the way back yeah shoot swim back to new york what should i do when i'm in hawaii rudy
00:50:00
this time tell me what i'm what you guys are going to do we're going to go hiking boo i do that
00:50:05
here diving oh i like diving and that's it and that's it and who's going you and kalila and and her sister her sister yeah um that's so that's gonna be so
00:50:16
fun so fun and you guys get an airbnb stay in a hotel i think airbnb airbnb is the way to go
00:50:22
right are you training staying in a hotel smelly or an airbnb entertaining on a hotel nice one but i'm doing a nice one yeah
00:50:29
one of the nicest ones one of the ones where you know yeah one of the ones where you stayed
00:50:36
and you're like this is a very nice hotel yeah one of the ones where they're like whites only [Laughter]
00:50:42
yeah you walk in they go sir you are perfect because i am very very white no if you
00:50:48
got a little taniwhani they're like excuse me sir sorry and you turn you're like my name is bryce and they're like come on come
00:50:53
on you're fine we just didn't know yeah i'm staying at a fancy pants i was in a ritz carlton uh two years ago it must be 2019 it was
00:51:00
me jazz and the two kids and i walked to the ritz carlton i walked in a little bit um ahead and i was holding
00:51:08
the bags and the guy you know bell person came over and then jazz came and the little and then and
00:51:13
you know she was holding both the kids hands and some bags and the guy said to me is that your nanny no in front of her he goes
00:51:19
he goes he goes um he goes uh okay dad he goes dad kids you know like you know he's like you guys want a drink he goes
00:51:26
and mrs nanny what would you like and she was like excuse me and cause he just genuinely thought yeah and he was like and then i would make the same mistake she was like mrs nanny she was like um i'm married to
00:51:38
him i was like that now you're getting crazy we're dating it's miss nanny to you to you [ __ ] i was like we're together
00:51:46
she kind of is the nanny she yeah i take that back i take it back jazz i take it back i take it back i don't know but there's [ __ ]
00:51:52
out of me no she i mean she is well no her transgender uncle tt jerry is technically our nanny and our our cleaning lady is he a god mother or godmother to your kids he will be actually jazz and i discuss
00:52:04
that today because she's we're having a second baby do july 4th and she uh america and we talked about
00:52:10
tt jerry being the godmother and father but tt is is still a man he hasn't transitioned he hasn't he has he has a he has a physique deal but he's on estrogen uh hormone therapy right so he's getting
00:52:22
he's getting boobies so he has boobies already and um and uh he said he never wants to cut it off because he likes
00:52:28
he likes you know having a penis he likes feeling the the ass of a man but wait a minute but at what point then when he's going
00:52:33
through the transition does he but does he go he just wants to become female he doesn't want to become fully he doesn't
00:52:38
he doesn't want to cut off his peeps but does he then he does he want to be called he or she he said whatever like for example when
00:52:44
he came and did my podcast christy chaos tuesdays at 11am street please listen to it it's incredible thank you
00:52:50
he um he and also hey babe thursday's 11 a.m eastern time and uh patreon.com that's christy comedy
00:52:56
we're gonna cut all this out go ahead thank you he uh magic spoon he uh when he came in to do my podcast he was wearing um one of my sweatshirts
00:53:07
from the denver comedy works and then when he left he was wearing one of jasmine's uh
00:53:12
leather jackets so he he wears he in one day told us if he feels like a man he comes and acts like a man if he feels like a woman he he comes out and acts like a woman if you go to his uh instagram at t.o jerry right
00:53:26
that's ttj are you doing comedy spots tonight or no [ __ ] no no i gotta get on a plane first thing in the morning rudy do you think i look
00:53:32
skinnier this time you look the same you do look the same but i you don't think you lost weight did you think you lost weight from the last time i saw you how much you were in september
00:53:44
how much do you weigh right now maybe 225 but when i saw you was 240. no you weren't yes were you really so i
00:53:51
why doesn't anybody care well that sweater makes you look you're i know what about on my face
00:53:57
you're skinnier underneath your face looks the same i don't think his face did his face skin
00:54:03
would you say have a fatter face or a face it's so it doesn't look fat in the middle in the middle you have a middle you have a middle face what about andrew's face finner yes
00:54:16
what about homeless face what about pimp's face in the middle in the middle okay who's how about how about fancy his
00:54:25
what about his face he's a little fat in the face yeah yeah a little fat in the face okay i love leading what about bobby's face jesus christ excellent so he's fat so i don't have a fat face
00:54:37
but it's in between andrew's face is skinny well it's thinning out because i didn't eat lunch you know what
00:54:44
i've noticed about one thing i have noticed about since i've been getting a little older is literally my body i mean it feels like like pants
00:54:51
will fit friday and they won't fit sunday if i eat bad saturday like fact but when i was in my 20s like
00:54:57
it didn't matter it would take a month to get fat now it genuinely is in 24 hours yeah your whole life changes well dude
00:55:03
yesterday i ate the worst meals i could have eaten and then and then rogan wanted to go out after we did the show and so he got a tomahawk
00:55:10
steak at midnight oh my god and you had to eat that with him dude if it weren't for the hgh he'd be dead
00:55:16
dead how could you eat a tomahawk steak at midnight it's insane right he was like what are you having a salad i was like yeah yeah yeah
00:55:23
it's midnight it's midnight yeah these guys are eating 48 ounces of [ __ ] meat i was like how can you do that and
00:55:28
he just gets up and he's more ripped the next morning honestly yeah more jack and then there was a couple of ufc
00:55:33
fighters that were there too and those guys are just yeah they're so daunting dude this one dude talked about i'm not gonna mention
00:55:39
his name but he talked about like like after he got knocked out and he didn't do like like they tried to do
00:55:44
concussion protocol and they didn't really say like you know whether or not he had one they didn't know and then five days later
00:55:51
he just passes out geez and then just then just like walking around just passed down and he was joking about
00:55:56
it he was like yeah smack my head and everything and i was like yeah are you okay and he was like yeah it was okay yeah cuz i fell
00:56:03
face first on concrete yeah and he talked about it like it was like you and me saying like i stubbed my toe yeah yeah he doesn't get my toe on the
00:56:09
bench you know that i think i think i heard it maybe it was joe rogan or maybe matt sarah maybe dana white somebody
00:56:15
was like the the thing with ufc fighting it's it's obviously the you know the muscles and the fighting technique of course important but the number one
00:56:21
thing they need to have is fearlessness yeah they just have to be just to be raleigh just raw and yeah we that's what i did say about that
00:56:28
f1 thing the one thing about those youthful drivers those kids the kids are the best because they don't give a [ __ ] yeah
00:56:33
they just are like what i'm not gonna die no yeah i know if i do [ __ ] party dude i used to go on roller coasters all the time like it
00:56:39
didn't matter i'm on roller coasters and now when you know i you don't go to amusement parks for that long but now
00:56:44
the kids are old enough where they want to go and like yesterday we were down at the santa monica pier and um
00:56:50
my stepson was like come on let's go on the roller coaster because you know delilah's too small and jasmine's still pregnant yeah so
00:56:55
they can't go on so i and i was like i was like okay let's go like we'll go on like that'll be the last one and like but i was trying to buy time because i
00:57:02
was trying to like work myself up work myself up to do it and then i ate a um uh like a
00:57:09
funnel cake oh yes i ate a funnel cake and i blamed the funnel cake i said oh man my stomach's killing me like we got
00:57:15
to make an emergency but it was all i was fine i felt great it was because i didn't want to go on the roller coaster because i was scared
00:57:21
what if because i have a fat face thank you and a fat body what if when we're going on the roller coaster the contraption
00:57:28
you know goes up and i fall and that's how i die and i was so scared to do that where i never would have thought about that when i was 25 but now all these things
00:57:36
you think about like the roller coaster i was like they have it's you know covid protocols who knows if they i'm not worried about getting
00:57:41
the virus but what you know they're under man they're under staff what if this thing comes off the tracks they're probably not checking it they're
00:57:47
you know right people are just getting benefits from good old sleepy joe biden and not coming to work
00:57:52
so i was like you know all these things could happen and then i'm going to be the one that died so let me eat the funnel cake fake the diarrhea
00:57:58
and then we'll go back home you're a wuss your kid you should have helped your kid out you're right fat funnel cake loser i love you
00:58:05
[Laughter] sleepy joe sleepy joe is gonna yeah he did he's probably in charge of all that
00:58:10
stuff yeah well you know kamala has to change his colostomy bag every day every day
00:58:16
takes out of the poop bag and throws it out yes and then she's got to change his colostomy bag every single day crazy yeah god bless
00:58:23
god bless joe biden let's see tt jerry's uh instagram profile now we can show up so
00:58:28
look at tt look at that hot and by the way are we still doing a donation for tt's um transition yes if you want to go to uh
00:58:34
christy comedy.com we got merch up there now we're getting new merch from the boys at killer merch nice boys the killer merch are going to design a
00:58:40
new tt jerry shirt which will also proceeds are going to continue tt jerry on her estrogen replacement
00:58:45
therapy which was stopped since she got uh out of prison the government no longer will pay for your tits if you are not in prison
00:58:51
uh i think that's insane they'll only give you tits if you're in jail so she literally is contemplating she said go
00:58:57
back she was like well i feel like i should [ __ ] be out here smoking crack again so i could go back and get my tits just let her rob you guys
00:59:03
well she probably is yeah she's been cleaning the house without us there and i'm like jazz that's a ridiculous thing to do i mean she did 25 years in
00:59:09
prison for grant larson she's like are you going to disrespect my family i'm like she's stealing all your [ __ ] yeah but fine [ __ ] yeah
00:59:14
so so there's tt and by the way please go please go to christycomedy.com buy some merch so we can get tt's full transition because
00:59:21
i think that's important and look at that rumpus shot right there no she's got a nice fat ass oh yeah nice too she doesn't let
00:59:27
me look at this one in the shorts over there yeah looking good looking good she looks she looks exactly like my
00:59:32
girlfriend it's it's a coin flip and it's jazz uh jazz's uncle that's jazz's uncle by birth yeah by birth yeah
00:59:37
dad's brother uh mom's brother mom's brother mom's brother um so she said that's my favorite by the way love
00:59:43
you guys love you guys she wants to remind you guys that she loves you and most of these photos taken by the the homeless pimp especially the ones in
00:59:49
the bikini pimp great stuff yes i see how some she wants to look like a guy she's got the mask on
00:59:54
right so that's what i'm confused i'm not even making a joke the pronoun thing is kind of wild because then you just don't know what pronoun
01:00:00
she's going to prefer well she told us she told us on the podcast when she came on it was actually really a fascinating
01:00:06
episode because she said it was good she was like she was like you know you know being in jail she was like i've
01:00:12
been transgender my whole life she's like this isn't like a movement for me she's like i always you know she's like i feel like a lot of
01:00:18
the people now the younger kids she's like i think they're a little confused on you know this is her saying that she's like i just don't think they
01:00:24
all really know what this life is about she was like in the pronoun stuff she's like when i walk past you
01:00:29
she's like when i walk when i'm walking past you it doesn't matter what i'm thinking in my head she's like when i'm walking past you if you say excuse me
01:00:35
sir i'm turning around she's like so i'm a man she's like even though i want to be a woman i want to be looked at as a woman she still says
01:00:40
she's like that pronoun [ __ ] she was like that [ __ ] is embroidered in my brain chemistry that's what she said embreded yeah
01:00:47
embreaded embretted deeply fried and breaded yeah look as far as i'm concerned i don't give a [ __ ] about whatever people
01:00:53
want to be called i just do think it is kind of hard sometimes you're like well you'd have to know the person know what they prefer yeah it's not like you can
01:00:58
check out somebody's twitter bio as soon as you come up to them be like what are you by the way instagram just added that did you see that no literally this week instagram added
01:01:05
pronouns on the profile because i went to go like put up a post or something uh or like or edit edit the link on my post
01:01:11
for youtube right and uh here look at this when you go to edit profile on instagram pronouns whoa what are you gonna put in
01:01:18
put in i don't know loser yeah uh loser [ __ ] yeah redcock redcock uh fire crotch i
01:01:26
know what i'm gonna put in fat face fat face fat face five you said he's a five right fat face five oh my god will
01:01:31
you change it to fat face five five fat face [ __ ] your next album fat face fat face five presents christus stefano yeah
01:01:40
you who if you are you gonna do a special by the way i well we you know we've we've talked about it because you know
01:01:45
we have the same agent we've we've spoken about it but i don't know that anybody's gonna take a chance on uh all
01:01:52
chrissy nut bags so me take a chance on me someone's gonna take a chance on you so daddy's got shows coming up um uh we got a bunch of shows christy comedy.com hello we got uh all we start
01:02:04
in providence we got uh we just put a second show at the fox theater yeah yeah in connecticut on on sale um so
01:02:10
and uh so get the tickets thank you but we may just take one of those shows because pim films everything we may just
01:02:16
mic the audience and do one of those and just put that special on youtube like our good friends mark norman did and and and
01:02:22
you know andrew schultz all these people i may just do that but what about you i don't really know man i don't
01:02:29
really know what i want to do i haven't decided i i can't really make up my mind for now i just want to do a bunch of live shows
01:02:34
you know i just by the way the live show that i am the the show i'm doing in hawaii for the private event is for prince harry
01:02:39
amazing yep he wanted a little competition he said come on see if you can get my wife from me
01:02:45
yes i said i will not you now another part of the royal family i'm gonna get out of here i'm gonna get her well i just saw it i'm gonna get that briefcase
01:02:51
girl i'm gonna get her from the prince henry prince henry prince henry's saying now that um
01:02:57
uh he was mad at joe rogan megan meghan markle is behind all the ufos from the royal family oh i thought
01:03:03
he just said he just there's a headline i just saw before i came in he said that uh meghan markle's behind it all
01:03:09
wait a minute yeah which one's the redheaded guy uh prince harry you're saying prince william you mean no no no no no he's calling out his own
01:03:15
wife for that's what he said hold on really yeah hold on hold on ooh albert poolhole signed with the dodgers
01:03:21
he's not dropped prince no what did we say we took your dad to the game we took chris's dad to the baseball game tampa
01:03:26
tony and tammy special ed uh he is so funny yeah he's got the one lazy bus yeah but tony was hunched over and he
01:03:32
just goes his dad doesn't say much but he's such a cool dude like such a sweet guy
01:03:38
yeah and his dad was hunched over and i go man pujols is kind of at the end of the run huh and your dad goes
01:03:44
they should have had it got rid of him a long time ago yeah that's what and then he just stared back at the field again yeah your dad is
01:03:50
almost like rain man and the idea that we started talking baseball and he would just throw out facts yeah yeah out of nowhere yeah we were
01:03:55
talking about our favorite um from our childhood baseball players that kids don't know any i mean some of them know but
01:04:01
you know we were saying like uh you brought up bobby bonilla and then i think i had mentioned uh um
01:04:07
jose ocendo one of the greatest uh uh uh why can't i think of the word what's wrong with me position he can switch positions all the time utility players and your dad started rattling off
01:04:18
numbers like like in the casino i mean he started like bobbing autistically yeah it was like obp 492 two obp
01:04:26
obp i was like oh my god and his eye would get lazy and then he just had his pretzels he was dipping in the cheese sauce he was but
01:04:31
he was he would just put the cheese under his eyes and then he would eat the pretzel tampa tony was incredible
01:04:37
but yes so if you saw um um prince harry is saying that uh that yeah well you had it and then you lost prince harry meghan markle opened my eyes to the unhappy oh right he's agreeing with what she
01:04:48
said oh he's agreeing oh yeah okay i'm sorry because you see how misleading the new york
01:04:54
freaking poster well and page six is also click look at the new york post look at the new york post article they say prince harry harry suggests meghan
01:05:00
markle is behind attacks on royal family that's so funny this is what is the law what does this say what does this prove
01:05:06
to us if anything that the media don't believe them the aliens are psyops aliens aren't real god i wish to this
01:05:12
day trump didn't say fake news because that people just hated him enough that they didn't take it serious and it became like a joke phrase
01:05:18
right if if if if anybody else had coined fake news it would have still had weight to it sure
01:05:23
because it's real it is off [ __ ] sure if that's proof that it's like one article thinks this way the other one says this
01:05:28
yeah and it's all [ __ ] i wanna yeah dude i i mean yeah what's your source of news rudy
01:05:35
do you read new do you ever indulge in anything newsworthy sometimes but see this generation doesn't give a
01:05:40
[ __ ] they don't care right you just whatever it's on tick tock kind of right i deleted tick tock you deleted tick
01:05:46
tock why it's annoying it is how did it feel did it feel liberating when you it felt like nothing dude she's the mo she's the
01:05:59
mo she doesn't have any emotions yeah she's dead inside serial killer okay watch watch this look look look look straight into the camera let's go through this ready okay put on a happy face
01:06:13
put on a sad face put on an angry face i don't know it's all the same you see what i mean it's all the same yeah look up people that can't express emotions
01:06:25
yeah what is that is that asperger's yeah look at i bet you the first person that pops up is mike bundy ted bundy people that can't
01:06:31
express emotion yeah because rudy doesn't know emotions yeah i love the name rudy related health condition here let's go
01:06:37
related health conditions go over to the right let's see all right do you have alexa the mia it's
01:06:42
a personality trait that's characterized by the subclinical inability to identify and describe emotions based on experience by oneself so how would you
01:06:48
describe yourself rudy what how would you say you are what kind of personality do you have
01:06:55
boring i like to sleep i like dogs mm-hmm this sounds like alex laughter yeah i was going to say you're connecting things that don't make sense it sounds like alex sexia with a bit of tourette's
01:07:08
okay let's go to the next one what does that say go to the next song hyper do you have attention deficit
01:07:14
disorder do you take adderall no so you don't have add you don't have add okay that's fine
01:07:19
well it could i think it's that one it's alexithmia you have alex alex how do we say that alexemia all about
01:07:26
alexithmia alexithmia and by the way we don't want to offend the alexithythmia community right now by the way
01:07:32
alexithmia isn't well understood there's a possibility it'll go up right oh link to autism got it
01:07:38
boom the possibility might be genetic the conditions from brain damage to the insulin have
01:07:44
you ever had brain damage ready you sure you've never had damage to the insulin i don't think so were you ever
01:07:49
punched as a kid or dead i got a knock on your head that's how that's how you know that
01:07:55
sounds like such a our generation damn thing yeah your head is fine let knock on the
01:08:01
head around a little bit back on the head you find out yeah that does say emotions and depression it's linked with depression do you have depression
01:08:07
you sleep all the time you're bored you're bored you're angry you're mad you're sad you love knives you've thought about
01:08:14
death a lot rudy i think you're now yeah i think you have alex cynthia alex go up again alexa alexa i like alexa alexa what is it it's called it's called
01:08:26
uh alex sith yeah fancy say it i look sick from yeah i like hate me sounds like that's faint it's so nice [Laughter] why do they look so much the air hello
01:08:38
well the spanish yeah what is that about why yeah i know that i'm sure people have beat this to death but i do want to
01:08:43
know fancy why do i do spanish people have that list what is it is it has it do we know why
01:08:50
like what is it fans we can distinguish in between letters and and sounds so we have the s and the it's two different sounds he's being [ __ ] condescending
01:09:01
he's being a little condescending don't forget don't forget that this country has bailed you out of
01:09:06
everything since the beginning of anything yeah right origins of the lifts lisp of sp and you can now say lith
01:09:12
the little spain lift if you study spanish long enough sooner or later you'll want to kill yourself what is that why does it say that
01:09:19
sooner or later you'll hear a tale about spanish king ferdinand who supposedly spoke with a lisp causing
01:09:25
spaniards to imitate him pronouncing the z and sometimes the c to be pronounced with the s and the
01:09:30
so they copied the king thin that's how [ __ ] that's how that's how uh lack of any sort of like
01:09:36
yeah you know personal integrity the spanish have they just copied the king well everything all like even curse words all come from the
01:09:42
king like that's what [ __ ] means you know [ __ ] me i've heard this but this has also been debunked over the years no i've i've heard that it's real the fornication
01:09:48
under the consent of the king yes i've been this has been debunked many times because there's a there is a we're gonna go into a history dive you
01:09:55
and i yeah i always make it happen you can say do etymology of [ __ ] he won't know how to spell automatically no let's give a shot oh yes he did
01:10:02
wow yes he did so that that thing under the consent of the king i've heard but also there is a
01:10:09
um there is a uh there is a word that that is latin that they think it suggest it might come from as well this article is definitely not well there you go attested from early as 16
01:10:20
coed second edition of the forms of phuket and the earliest attested appearance of current spelling
01:10:27
uh 1553 presumably it's more ancient words see it's a more ancient word but we don't know okay okay we don't really know we don't
01:10:33
really know oh look at that though buck cites proper name john liffe [ __ ] from 1278
01:10:40
dude john the f john john john [Laughter] i would love to hang out with john the [ __ ] who is this guy let's look at john le [ __ ] look at john the [ __ ] no that's not there's gonna be no images
01:10:56
of him it was from the [ __ ] twelve hundreds go to all there he is there's john the [ __ ]
01:11:02
[ __ ] yeah he's living literally near my house this guy lives on the bridge go to all go back to all because i want
01:11:07
to do i want to read his wikipedia john the [ __ ] here we go right there click on that was an englishman zoom
01:11:13
in he was an englishman who what who appears in the administrative record of 1278 who
01:11:19
has attracted attention unusual surname ah his name has been proposed as incorporating the earliest recorded
01:11:24
instance of the english swear word [ __ ] but this interpretation has been challenged see nobody
01:11:30
i'm sorry moody [Laughter] i said i wouldn't but because you said i had a fat face i just wanted to get you back one time i know i'm used to it okay so gross have you ever farted in
01:11:41
front of the team you farted in here once no yes i think we caught you once yes rudy she yes we did remember fancy because she went like she was like
01:11:51
she she coughed you did fart in front of us one time no yes okay she's embarrassed now fine
01:11:58
no i'll stop no filipino they don't they don't fart very small butts and very small buttholes
01:12:09
john the [ __ ] by the way is not real he's got to be real i mean it was a guy but you know it's just not he didn't do anything
01:12:19
he was an englishman oddly enough so it's not it was john the [ __ ] hey i'm john lafaka isn't that your
01:12:26
friend john the [ __ ] [ __ ] hello john the [ __ ] it is it's great hello hello hello
01:12:35
if your kid is born on the 4th of july are you going to name it america or stars and stripes or guns or donald donald donny
01:12:42
donny no if it's a girl melania if it's a guy donald no we're going to name her betsy ross
01:12:51
what do you do you have a name picked you can't say it on the air no no no why why couldn't we is that are you not allowed to say that i think women have a
01:12:57
thing with saying the name it's a little bit of a jinx oh okay so then i i guess i don't know if jazz might get mad it's
01:13:02
not you okay you'll go i won't all right yeah um no we were gonna name you've never said it on the other pods no have i said it already on the other part oh you have uh idiot um did you tell jazz about that
01:13:14
yeah jazz knows oh jazz doesn't know okay so we won't say it though i won't say it yeah i'm gonna name her
01:13:20
rudy it is a very pretty name rudy and ruby ruby's a very pretty name but neither are her real name her real name
01:13:25
is juliana why so why do they call her rudy rudy giuliani julian is a beautiful name too
01:13:31
i like juliana juliana is a beautiful name but we can't name that because there's a
01:13:36
already a baby julie in my family so we can't do that but juliana did they call you julie when you
01:13:42
were a kid yeah same same same i guess same same that's like did they call you mark it was like no they called me stephen you're like oh right yeah yes it says same thing yeah wait yen
01:13:53
yeah isn't that chinese money man the chinese are taking over everything everything no is it even a
01:14:00
filipinos names i think a dollar is a chinese yen yeah yeah yeah what is it what is yen what is yan i don't know my
01:14:07
aunt just said that and then it just started my nickname yeah but now do people in your family call
01:14:13
you rudy or only known as rudy on this podcast yeah only here only here do you like it
01:14:19
i'm getting used to it will you write a book one day because you feel have felt like you've been pressured into doing things
01:14:24
on the show no we've never we she is she has always opted out of anything she didn't
01:14:30
want to do on the show or be a part of she's always been the controller of her own universe isn't that right rude
01:14:35
isn't that right rudy yes yes see how that works just tell her what to do she has to do
01:14:41
it she's got to say what she has to say into the camera i want her to take more control let's let's let's close the show strong with
01:14:47
rudy no i don't want to go all right we'll stay i gotta go you do you got to go to dinski doodles i
01:14:52
got to go to dinski doodles we didn't get in any no no reservations well it's saturday i
01:14:58
know i always think i always i'm always at like six o'clock like hey you gotta party for nine at 6 45. yeah i feel like no
01:15:06
they're like yeah sure on the roof yeah you want to sit up by the air conditioning unit with a cook smoke yeah we're gonna go to uh malibu uh
01:15:12
first and take uh family portraits on um el matador beach today with homeless pimpy today yeah because the sun set if it is you gotta get out of here no but sunset we want to do some sunset you got a couple
01:15:22
you got hours yeah and then we're gonna go uh we're gonna go to a restaurant do you know caitlyn jenner is running for uh mayor uh
01:15:29
know that i'm trying to move things around where i can get a legal governor governor give her a vote governor
01:15:36
republican government okay so here's what's crazy she's running as a republican she's always been a republican
01:15:42
she's against gay marriage [Laughter] where do we live i love it she's a transgendered famous person who's against
01:15:54
a part of a community that she is a part of right lgbtqia or what is it now it's lgbtqia whatever and i mean i'm not saying this in a disrespectful manner obviously i don't know all the acronyms now because
01:16:05
they've just added some new she's a part of this community and she's against it yeah that's the craziest craziest thing
01:16:11
i've ever heard in my [ __ ] i don't care that she's a republican i'm not saying that means as much i'm saying how can you be against gay
01:16:18
marriage i don't understand yeah by the way i don't understand that as someone who isn't trans i don't know i don't give a [ __ ] if gay
01:16:25
guys want to get gay women who i don't want to go to your wedding at all yeah i don't want to go to a
01:16:30
heterosexual wedding okay they're [ __ ] annoying annoying i'm going to another i gotta go to another one yeah i got to go to another
01:16:36
one and i'm dreading it yeah by the way you want to ban gay marriage ban straight marriage too yes ban all marriage i'm in fine yes yes
01:16:44
ban all marriage ban all marriage ban all marriage get rid of marriage it's insane yeah you never want to get married right yeah she said that she's smart good i don't unders against
01:16:55
against other people doing stuff what kind of [ __ ] bananas nonsense is that that you're like i don't like that
01:17:00
those people want to do something no it's ridiculous mind your own business you idiot anyway uh i'm still going to vote for her yeah of course i think no i do think
01:17:13
she'll probably win i genuinely mean that i think she will just because of popularity for me it's three r's
01:17:18
red right republican [Laughter] google caitlyn jenner uh i want to see like her did she have a government website like i'm running for you know what i mean you know sometimes they do that
01:17:31
yeah like a campaign website yeah that's what it is let's see and by the way we're going to
01:17:36
get you out of here so it's okay i think caitlyn jenner is hot yeah i like her as a woman a lot yeah not as a man oh see look there it
01:17:43
is caitlyn for california caitlyn needs an honest leader with a clear california need sorry
01:17:48
california needs an honest leader with a clear vision our campaign will be powered by everyday californians who deserve leadership and accountable to them so
01:17:54
look at this the donate box 50 is jumping at you it's saying pick me pick me please yeah don't do five should we
01:18:01
donate 25 250. let's donate to her i'd give her give her look at that number look at how weird this number is
01:18:06
525 50 100 500 1 000 5000 10 000 and then 32 400. you [ __ ] up on the website is that is that like a number she needs
01:18:20
left that's like that's all we need to pay off this gambling debt yeah yeah i can't believe baylor won
01:18:26
this doesn't make any [ __ ] sense should we give her should we give her 25. let's do make this a monthly recurring donation so
01:18:32
make it monthly and just do the 32 400. yeah let's do it all right so we remember the planets now just for a re where's for a recap what were the planets go ahead remember
01:18:44
remember remember the acronym my very erotic my very erotic mother [Music] [Laughter]
01:18:59
remember who no my my very erotic mother something just suck nice suck nice and the last p for
01:19:14
[ __ ] yeah should we have him take us out no yeah let's have you because you're a
01:19:19
guest of the episode okay so then what's the uh what's the thing because you say one we always say thank you for being a bad
01:19:25
friend together okay but i want you to kind of look in your single and end it the way you want to end it and then you have to say at
01:19:30
the very end of whatever you're gonna say thank you for being a bad friend okay so thank you okay got it got it got
01:19:36
it um okay i appreciate andrew i appreciate uh you allowing me the chance to fill in so i'm gonna fill you up uh right after this um rudy it was a pleasure to
01:19:50
be uh talked down to by you and also andres to be talked down to by you i will uh be
01:19:57
calling immigration and um i just and wait how do we end it again thank you for being a bad boy okay and um of course as always i'd like to look right in the camera and tell you that q
01:20:09
anon is still accepting numbers cudinon is still accepting members and um uh uh uh that's all i have to say and uh bobby bobby lee if you don't come back
01:20:20
i'm going to take your job yep um because your people have been taking mine so now we're taking yours
01:20:28
thank you for being a bad friend [Music] i'm a guy right yeah and i work at like
01:20:41
a liquor store in new york correct okay in harlem so yeah i'm i'm logging out i'm
01:20:47
closing the store it's not a 24-hour place right right so i'm locking everything up right and it shows me like
01:20:52
just walking with my backpack to my little squaller house i have a really i live in the basement
01:20:58
somewhere in chinatown you live in chinatown uh why does it okay anyway it just feels right i'm chinese for this movie you're chinese okay i'll be chinese i'll be black in
01:21:10
the middle we'll be right we'll ride it right right right there you live in the basement of a chinese chinese right so you know and then it just shows me like
01:21:16
a little montage of me like cooking some ramen right putting some ramen right rat runs by right rub runs
01:21:22
right right i'm buying a really rickety table yeah right sitting there i'm slurping on the ramen i'm watching
01:21:29
some something on tv the news or something right gravity or tv right there's a cut scene where i'm just kind of reading a book on
01:21:35
a mat that's where i sleep on the floor yeah i'm all set this guy is so so sad right and then um i plug in
01:21:42
my iphone whenever i have a phone right samsung samsung okay you gotta be samsung all right samsung i plug in my samsung chinatown right right yeah um does it matter what
01:21:54
kind of tv i'm looking at or toshiba toshiba yeah yeah um a tube tv no less like an old tube not a flashlight so i assume just by your thinking i'm
01:22:09
wearing a kimono what else would you be wearing at your house so just all right all right kimono i have a sword a sword and your hair is in a bun must be
01:22:23
and what's in it what's wrong what's holding your hair up a chopstick chopsticks that's correct
01:22:31
oh you raised this [ __ ] all right come on come on let's get back to where we want to be all right so i'm so you're for some
01:22:36
reason this is not a reason for some reason i i'm wearing regular clothes you're wearing regular clothes
01:22:42
at the liquor store but when i get home there's got even more toasty where i put the cookies
01:22:48
i put the chopsticks in my hair people will love it people love it i have a samsung tooshima
01:22:55
tv tv right right oh [ __ ] right so you're slurping your dreams right when you lay on your mat i lay on my
01:23:02
bamboo bamboo man blue bat yeah right and then i wake up right on an island you wake up you wake up crawling out of sand crawling out of sand yes naked butt naked butt naked yeah right
01:23:15
how about i still have the chopsticks in my hair [Music]