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hey guys we have a patreon it's the best thing ever in the world patreon baby here a lot of fans are like oh what to
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do with the patreon why are they doing that listen this is why we're giving you access to the episode that's ad free on Friday instead of Monday when it comes
00:00:12
out everybody else you're still gonna get the episode when it normally comes out stop freaking out we're just giving people an opportunity to get the episode
00:00:18
without the ads ad free and bonus content behind the scenes stuff so if you want more content more stuff from the bad friends you can still get all the other stuff for free just like normal but if you want more go to
00:00:30
patreon.com bad friends patreon.com [Applause] hey guys juicy Jessie jet ski ski mask
00:00:37
Johnson here and I just wanted to let you know that on August 25th if you're in Austin Texas I'm headlining the
00:00:43
Sunset Strip would love to see you there I'm also going to be in Spokane Washington and Arizona this year all my
00:00:49
dates are on jet skijohnson.com ladies and gentlemen guess who's back and she's cockroachy Hey listen to that
00:01:11
let me say something to you okay when I pay you money when I go out of town okay and you say you're gonna get cleaning supplies right and you get no cleaning
00:01:17
supplies do I get some of my money back I'm gonna buy it today you had a whole weekend to do it right because when it came out this vomit all over my house cat vomit all over the house you're
00:01:29
flying I swear to God I will yeah yesterday and I cleaned all of it oh oh so in the last 12 hours cat vomit City
00:01:37
yeah they had a cat Rave yeah yeah yeah I went last night and I cleaned the whole house really yeah because there's [ __ ] cat litter all over the house as well
00:01:52
what do you mean you mean skateboard obviously you lost your mind you got it you need therapy you need to get some rest too much
00:02:05
school for you is that a skateboard no no Rudy sorry what cleaning supplies were
00:02:12
you supposed to get at the house um soap soap dish soap dish soap juice no no in Philippines what do you know what soups open
00:02:27
let me ask you something you're questioning a white man what soap is oh my God sorry not so soup soup oh it's
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bat soup no it's lobster bisque and french onion right in one bowl two part one it's not
00:02:43
food it's like what you it's like an action it's when you stab somebody with a machete [Music]
00:02:55
it's an action soap soap so AP soap shop oh dropping Jacks that doesn't sound like it no no no no
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uh jump rope it's an action no it's jump rope oh so so I get it it's not it's not
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it's an action Bob is it an action it's [ __ ] you know how you know close to it you're closer oh it's going down
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it's a thick dick loose vagina Echo yeah there's an echo there it's eating ass because somebody goes oh this
00:03:34
needs helpful what is it no we gotta find it on our own we gotta find it on our own well she said in action and it's close to sex it's close to sex so in the Philippines soap soap
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me is um yeah why is it twice I don't know what does it have to be sexual could it be like um
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I always use chicken fingers like if I mean chicken are you soaps up you're not sucking chicken fingers you
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don't suck chicken fingers how do you eat chicken fingers you suck the juices from the [ __ ] bone what yeah first of
00:04:28
all you're talking about chicken wings chicken fingers are boneless you're getting bone filled chicken strips yes I
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request it I go put the phone back in when you get chicken fingers you want bony chicken fingers
00:04:43
yeah they don't like it there it is yeah they roll their eyes and I gotta tell you something patreon fans so happy that you joined yeah you know let's climb This Road Together let's get
00:04:54
unlimited unfiltered content like this we're gonna spit on Rudy on three one two three
00:05:02
anyway good are you happy to be back here Rudy Jules yeah you better be what how about
00:05:09
you come by the way speaking of returning I texted doc the other night oh oh wow well he texted me actually oh
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great he saw something on Instagram maybe the aliens but I thought it was no he texted me
00:05:23
something that we posted on the gram or something bad no no you gotta be positive with him no no it was good it
00:05:28
was good I promise it was good but I'll I'll show you exactly what it was uh doc
00:05:33
our old friend doc who's busy busy man he said uh oh yeah it was a picture of the I'm Bobby mom tattoo that went around the internet you've seen this yeah I've seen it a guy got it yeah and he loved it and he said I've been I've
00:05:46
been great fam working at Amazon until 2PM and this was late at night I think and I said your hustling hard he said
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I'll see you soon Fab love you gotta go talk to you and that was it and then I said Doc miss you and he wrote now fam
00:05:59
he said no no he didn't say that no but but we do miss our little dog no but why did you just say that I mean you you
00:06:05
made it seemed like there was going to be some way to get him back into the team I just wanted to tickle you a little bit I wanted to yeah it's like
00:06:11
don't get my mouth watering I'm trying all right I'm trying because you know what I'm gonna do if I see him what soup
00:06:17
soap [Laughter] all day long dude I'm happy that you're back Rudy you're uh you're you've graduated in life how old are you now 21 21. she's been with the same guy now for
00:06:31
over a year gross right so she's monogamous but you're not living with him no no and there's no chance they're
00:06:36
monogamous he's 21 year old kids they're little rabbits they're [ __ ] everything they talk to are you sleeping outside the relationship no oh she's not
00:06:44
sleeping oh let's hope so soaps open other guys how's school going though is it good though the relationship with him is good yeah what's his name again Joey Joey yeah it's called Joey Joey yeah
00:06:57
yeah how's Joey good Joey's good he's a pharmacist pharmacy tech okay who can you get us
00:07:03
some pills yeah yeah sure is Kenny because I actually need muscle relaxation I need Oxycontin my back is
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bad again can we get fentanyl Oxycontin and muscle relaxers I love it that you asked for real drugs I'm like can I get Advil free how hard is it though if you work at a pharmacy
00:07:21
shall we as a tech easy I don't think so why it's drugs because of the people like customer service oh well yeah have you seen the people have you been in line at a CVS that night I'll leave it's
00:07:32
literally Thriller yeah I'm here for my medication their teeth are falling out yeah dude it's the scare being in line at Walgreens or CVS late at night waiting for a prescription it
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it makes me feel like I'm in Carlos's Dreams yeah you know what I mean can I just say something elitist please you
00:07:50
don't have something to say elitist things never it's like I hate it when they qualm over as you only you see this
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in a pharmacy line always yeah about a dollar or two well this coupon and my insurance two dollars you know you charge me two extra dollars they sure did yeah yeah but don't you just go ah [ __ ] it if
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it's a dollar yeah well so when would you complain how much money two dollars be real well I tell you this okay I had
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a prescription change and this was insane it went from it went from like a dollar a pill to 485 a pill now when everything adds up
00:08:28
that's a shitload of money oh I see so that's what it is it's not like the whole thing is a dollar more it's a it's per pill it's like per medication that's when it gets awesome insane but what I'm
00:08:41
asking you is like if you're buying a car for instance and the car is like 80 000. I know you would never that's a
00:08:46
little pricey I know you wouldn't say 40 000. okay forty thousand forty Grand right
00:08:51
I'm buying it and then you know you you know you um you do it through your account you have an accountant right
00:08:57
business manager a business manager right and then you see later down the road your receipt right and they charged
00:09:03
you forty thousand six hundred and eighty five what was the extra 685 you have no it doesn't say what is it it
00:09:10
doesn't say it's like you're my business manager what is it well um Mr Santino um
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just call me Andrew I've known you for 12 years because uh I embezzled from you so you
00:09:22
stole 685 no I didn't no it's a ghost this is a money term it's a money term it's called ghost money I get it I'm out of boundary yeah you're out of bounds
00:09:35
and so there's sometimes you know I mean money right yeah that is invisible to you right but visible to my bank account
00:09:44
you understand I can't see it but you you I see it definitely this makes a lot of sense it's no longer there oh so it's
00:09:51
yours well I went to uh Thailand yeah I went to Thailand yeah okay so it's some woman's okay but my point there'll be
00:09:57
some woman yeah but would you be mad at for that much 85 685 I'd want to know where it went and if it was if it was Ghost money what would happen I'd have a little bit of a dispute
00:10:08
I would be upset if you told me 685 you if you told me this and it became something else yeah
00:10:15
well it's tax purposes oh it's for taxes yeah there's like Tire tax well I haven't paid taxes no in the car oh when you buy a car you you pay for the rubber yeah the tire tax right yeah and there's
00:10:28
transmission tax I've never heard of this before it's new let me Google it right I'm gonna Google yeah yeah yeah yeah look at that yeah
00:10:35
Joe Biden implements Tire tax and transmission got some transmission taxes well transmission taxes because you know
00:10:42
what he's all about I know well let me tell you something about stolen money what I just watched something on the History Channel here we go about the
00:10:48
most corrupt dictator of all time in the Philippines Marcos you know about this piece of [ __ ] do you know about Ferdinand Marcos I know about that no dude who's worse no Marcos
00:11:04
no Ferdinand Marcos Ferdinand Marcos who's this [ __ ] guy this guy was a genius by the way this piece of [ __ ] him and his family they I mean terrible people
00:11:22
while people in Philippines in the 80s were living in abject poverty this [ __ ] scumbag literally stole hundreds
00:11:29
of millions of dollars they think maybe billions from the people the Filipino people that he stole from Japanese
00:11:37
hidden gold bars in the caves of the Philippines during the war and this [ __ ] who's that lady that's his wife looks like a boom that's being beam oh
00:11:50
yeah Bap is in the coffin it's that's yeah he died that's Bob that's the guy that
00:11:57
we're talking about died yeah he's dead okay yeah they're dead are you upset about it no she's happy oh they were
00:12:03
evil right they were bad you weren't even around but I watched this whole thing this [ __ ] genius is Evil Genius
00:12:08
his brother or uncle was the judge that allowed Cruz to start digging to hunt for this missing gold uh-huh genius and he was like oh there's all these guys that are digging for a [ __ ] goal he's
00:12:20
like perfect when they find it we'll either kill them or imprison them and then we'll just take it all so they did every time someone went down there like
00:12:26
oh he went missing and then they would just steal all look at this look at these gold bars that they would find
00:12:31
well okay so here's what you do yeah what you know what to do what you first of all if I was one of
00:12:39
the guys which one no no I'm not boom boom or any of those you're just I'm a guy that's you're a little Filipino I'm
00:12:44
a Hunter you're a hunter a Filipino I'm a lamb herder yeah at best lamb singular you don't have more than one I know but that's what I do for a living yeah I'm a lamborgh I look at the
00:12:55
[ __ ] Filipino Express right which is their local newspaper correctly right right and I go yeah I mean gold bar
00:13:01
hunter wanted you're signing up well I would false name what would your name be it's Jackson Jackson well they go boom boom soup Jackson
00:13:14
right yeah and then um I'd probably do something in my face what I put this to put mud on it or whatever no no no what not in this ear I don't think I don't
00:13:25
think you can mud up your face over there you can't do like Browner face that's not Brown face that's blood face mudface
00:13:32
assistant with the brown face because they're let me say something you're the mod from the Philippines is lighter
00:13:40
what why do you need mud I'm gonna change the way I look I'm Jackson Jackson now the lighter mud is that why
00:13:46
is that I don't know that's it that right lighter mode not that that's too dark so listen let me tell you something well let me do you think you're gonna get employed to go hunt for gold what skills
00:13:59
do you offer here listen I am I'm the guy this is this is this is my Confidant and I right okay I'm chip chip yeah and
00:14:07
that's Chop Chop yeah yeah and we're we're looking for gold Hunters so tell us oh my God
00:14:19
oh Jackson Jackson [Laughter] what I'm Jackson huh I'm a lamb holder one laugh he's
00:14:37
hurting he's hurting Lambs and that's why I I want to have this job because I think the moneys okay hold on
00:14:45
let my constituent talk to you oh you suck the lamb you dirty [ __ ] pig I'm getting I I feel like are you the lamb I feel like
00:14:57
I'm getting a cute of something that I didn't know too well you did okay it sounds like you seriously you accuse me
00:15:04
of sucking my lamb you said it to the lamb I heard you lamb game oh you called him oh what the [ __ ]
00:15:14
all right get the [ __ ] out right okay let him leave let him leave all right what's going on Jackson Jackson yes are you Chinese
00:15:43
[Music] what why are you yelling at me are you Filipino of course look at my skin who's your mom my what who's your mom debris
00:15:57
I know her yeah yeah she she do one sheep she lives in the she lives she lives in the tree she live in the tree with one sheep among Dupree who lives in the tree
00:16:11
by the way she don't suck on the Sheep by the way I know you're gonna accuse of my mama while sucking on cheap I only suck on lamb okay so [ __ ] you okay hey
00:16:23
hey [ __ ] you you're trying to get a job slow down go ahead okay ma'am go ahead
00:16:30
huh there it is nice go ahead okay can I call you oh let me ask you something wait you you
00:16:44
want to change my name for Jackson why so I can hire you and I can remember your name you can't memorize Jackson Jackson holy [ __ ] don't question by the way
00:16:57
because there's another gold hunting there's another cool thing that I went earlier and they accept my name no stay okay stay okay okay yes you're hired
00:17:09
good thank you wow that fast no skill nothing no I'm blind you don't plan right that's why I have the [ __ ] lamb he's my you know
00:17:22
oh my god dude it's like you know sometimes I go and I want to buy food and review the restaurants or whatever right I always thought to myself why
00:17:28
don't they do that with doctors well guess what what zoc doc did that oh my God you know it's nice to have a doc doctor that actually listened to you uh and makes you feel super comfortable and
00:17:39
you can't get that all the time with zoc talk you can baby all right after weeks of searching you can find the one on
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ZocDoc wipe your tears put away the ice cream and hover to ZocDoc to find and book The Doctor Who's right for you and take your insurance you know that feeling you get when you finally get the
00:17:55
thing you've been searching for on the internet right after spending hours researching and reading thousands of reviews you find it this thing whatever
00:18:02
it is all right whatever you're looking for like I was looking for a new dog toy and boom I got it it checked all the
00:18:09
boxes it has five stars it's perfect and it arrives in 48 hours well guess what that's what it's like to use ZocDoc it's a place to find a book great doctors who actually have amazing reviews many with
00:18:21
appointments available within 24 hours yeah I mean let me tell you something I have hemorrhoids right now I'm not gonna
00:18:27
lie no hurts I had to use ZocDoc because I'm like I gotta get this taken care of soon the cream ain't working ZocDoc is a
00:18:34
free app where you can find amazing doctors and book appointments online and I did just that to help me get myroids
00:18:40
they can care of guys it's just a free app and um it's the easiest thing to do and we're talking about booking appointments with thousands of top-rated patient review doctors and Specialists yeah you can you can filter uh
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specifically for ones who take your insurance that are located near you and treat almost any condition you're searching for so you know what go to
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zocdoc.com bad friends and download the ZocDoc app for free then find and book a top rated doctor today that's zocdoc.com
00:19:06
badfriendsokdoc.com bad friends zocdoc.com bad friends displayed oh my God what are we doing here again listen listen you know what that sound is that sounds like Elven
00:19:19
ring coming my way oh my God this is the game I'm playing right now Elden ring and now they have a poster look at this
00:19:25
this plate has posters and when I was a kid and there was an elder ring that thing would have been shrouded up in my room that's right it would have been
00:19:30
torn up forever the edges would have been more but listen to this thing displayed is a one-of-a-kind metal poster designed to capture your unique
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passions they created a 21st century canvas that sturdy magnet mounted and durable enough to withstand a lifetime
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of a tense staring one million designs including Star Wars Alden ring Marvel Harry Potter Lord of the Rings and many
00:19:48
more each artwork is surely conveyed to your doorstep within four to five days it's incredible this stuff I got to tell
00:19:54
you something when I was in in high school and college and I would get posters of bands that I loved and stuff
00:20:00
like that I'd put them up on my wall they would tear they would rip they would get sun bleached they'd get ruined and then I put holes in the wall my dad
00:20:06
was like what are you doing idiot now daddy can't yell at me no more introducing disciplates ingenious magnet
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mounting system an unequivocal Testament to the harmonious convenience and security liberating you from the cumbersome task of walls rolling this remarkable solution boasts
00:20:25
unparalleled Simplicity requiring mere 20 seconds to accomplish it's that easy that's pretty impressive because Bobby
00:20:31
gave all that he had on that and I gotta tell you he nailed it we're going to provide you with a higher discount
00:20:36
because Bobby killed it all right use the link in the description amalgamation go to display.com badfriends and use
00:20:41
that code bad friends uh at the checkout to get 23 off for one to two disc plates or 34 off for three or more disc plates
00:20:49
it's displayed.com bad friends code is bad friends displayed collect your passions
00:21:09
yeah so what I would do is uh let's kind of get out of Jackson Jackson or no no what stay oh this is who you are you're Jackie
00:21:22
Jackson baby all right I don't want to say Jackson all right so what would you really do
00:21:27
check it out check it out well here's what I would do let's just so I would go in there and lie to these people right
00:21:33
yeah because I knew there would be murdering going on of course right it's yeah because Tanya Tanya my cousin she
00:21:38
got killed yeah killed they all got killed what yeah and my you know my mom in the sheet in the tree my mom yeah yeah she told me yeah they
00:21:51
die oh no they get murdered they find the gold that's why she's in the tree they can't get her up so you know what I was so I'll look up at the tree and go
00:21:58
mom mama me me Jackson Jackson check it out all right and I'm gonna lift up my leg like this
00:22:04
right and then she's gonna what happened to your leg it's gone right and I go prosthetic and she's like ah
00:22:16
so I'll find when I find the gold I find one bar stuff it in your leg I stuff it in the
00:22:24
let dip yeah and then I walk out of the whatever the [ __ ] you know I mean the cave or whatever so you only want one
00:22:29
I'll be like I'm blind I can't see no gold where's your sheep what where's the Sheep check it out dude look at his leg
00:22:43
prosthetic yeah there's got to be small bar little baby bars maybe and he's just like he's he's bummed well you know because
00:22:54
it's heavy the guards will see it though they'll go he walked funny they'll see the Sheep because they don't like they don't like sheep shammy shaming there
00:23:01
you read the color there's no sheep sham shaming there's no sheep shipping read the culture right in the Philippines
00:23:06
what about you they'll say you're walking funny they'll go why you're like oh me look
00:23:13
look you'd show them the goals no the the goats in the they're not gonna look inside sure they will Filipino [ __ ]
00:23:20
cave guards cave guards what do you think they're doing they're not TSA bro you think I'm getting my [ __ ] legs my
00:23:27
[ __ ] prosthetic leg from America I made it well then it's definitely not gonna work it is you better get it from China I already do my thinking is this dude yeah they are gonna look in it yeah
00:23:39
they're gonna look right in it right so you do an optical illusion obviously mirrors all right Carlos obviously
00:23:45
obviously like a swirl oh yeah you stare at a swirl in the center of the thing right yeah they look away it's everything what are you talking about Magic Eye
00:23:58
you'd put a Magic Eye in there yeah one of those swirly swirls there yeah yeah and they're gonna be like oh what going on everything's so Brewery I think you got this all figured out I know dude
00:24:12
we should have got you in a time machine don't you have a time machine right there yeah good yeah we should go jump around Apple
00:24:19
dude yeah I think there's gold in the Philippines you know this right in the caves really I didn't know well it's gold here we
00:24:26
gotta go genuinely I'm not lying at it what are they called The Lily Maps look up Lily Maps Philippines I think it's
00:24:31
called oh yeah yeah yamashira's gold yamashita's gold this is insane oh look at that I would love the authentic look at that first guy General Yamashita was convicted of war crimes this guy right
00:24:43
God what a piece of [ __ ] dude look at him he well wait a minute wait a minute garbage human he got convicted of war
00:24:48
crimes during the Truman era that typically takes years to get they convicted this guy boom overnight yeah
00:24:55
you know why why to get to the [ __ ] gold oh we were all trying to get to the [ __ ] gold everybody was on like every
00:25:02
country was Goonies we were all trying to get to the [ __ ] gold and basically go up Yamashita Yama what is this
00:25:08
General Yamashita read it right dude Yamashita oh that's yeah yeah that's his first name but generally Yamashita the wild [ __ ] about this [ __ ] guy was they put him on trial
00:25:20
and they convicted him on the day on the anniversary of Pearl Harbor obviously not a coincidence yeah and when he was
00:25:27
on trial they have video footage and it's crazy to see his face because he's almost like smiling when they're like
00:25:33
reading off the list of crimes yeah he didn't do any of them his soldiers carried out a bunch of crimes yeah but
00:25:38
when you tell your hey no he didn't that's the thing is like he didn't say anything he didn't instruct them to do
00:25:44
the things that they're conv he's convicted of like what I mean it was like torture and all this [ __ ] his this his like troops yeah were none of the
00:25:51
people that did all the war crimes but they were like we gotta get this guy he's the plug he knew where the gold was
00:25:57
he was like a woke guy yep right so he would see his but guys torturing if you look at a picture he would go no no no
00:26:03
stop stop all right no red look at a picture of him okay Phoenix he has an lgbtq pin on him oh whoa yes look at him
00:26:10
that's the lgbtq flag right there right on his chest whoa dude he's so woke look
00:26:16
at his collar look what it says yeah acab all cops are bad yeah and he's got a BLM shirt that he wears underneath that I'm telling you dude this guy this
00:26:23
was like the first oh she won a Japanese soldier went to like a Filipino guy right or whatever and cause hey what are
00:26:29
you doing there or I mean who are you or where did he go he goes they they not he
00:26:37
they corrected people he knew he was ahead of his time but apparently this guy's this guy's homies told everybody where the gold was
00:26:47
and and they convicted this guy and there's still gold in the caves today we gotta find it let's go
00:26:54
and you're a guy you're you die you know look at the caves Lily Maps look up Lily Maps is what it's called the item but do
00:27:00
you know where what region I don't know well then you gotta [ __ ] Google it dude we gotta get to this [ __ ] gold
00:27:07
dude I want it so bad but maybe Marcus already knows and like yeah that's a thing but they say the maps are still out there to find I want to find a treasure map so bad but what
00:27:20
if they're saying they're still out there but they already have it and they want to they want to see us out there
00:27:25
and they laugh about it that's funny that's a great tourist trap right that's funny look at them sweating up yeah like
00:27:31
that's like people taking tours on Hollywood Boulevard that's their Hollywood Boulevard of course that's their star what's that down there what's
00:27:37
that photo let me see well that's a map oh sorry McCone by the way I learned show him what what town he's from look
00:27:43
at this the town he's from fagi fagliesville faglies is that really your town he's from fagliesville do you not
00:27:50
know that no what does it say underneath it though fabulous Pennsylvania not in Minnesota you're lying I was talking to
00:27:56
Joe De Rosa on the phone today he literally is by he's like he's maybe gonna move back to near where he's from yeah Pennsylvania and I'm scrolling
00:28:03
through the map on Pennsylvania I come across fagliesville why not change this at some point
00:28:08
why would you leave fagliesville as your town oh like fagly Town yeah fagly city a fagly city area yeah yeah that's cool
00:28:15
that's good fagliesville yeah I want to know more about fagliesville but why you're obsessed with factors what if I
00:28:21
go what if I lose you just want to say fagly all the time what's your problem with fagley's girl the way you're saying
00:28:28
it are you bigoted against fagliesville no I'm not what do you have against the Citizens ni of fagliesville I'm not I
00:28:34
don't have I guess of the people I just the way you're saying it you go you this is how you say exactly I said fabulous
00:28:41
families they'll get back into the closet fagli's filled no dude say it right in colonial times a great quantity of pig iron from Warwick furnace was all
00:28:58
over what became bagleysville Road wait two minutes but see it in an accent in a gay accent no yeah it's dancing no gay and fancy in
00:29:10
Colonials a great quantity of pig iron from Warwick Furniture hold over what became fagliesville Road to the large Mabry Forge at Green Lane
00:29:23
where the iron was refined and forming the bar eye and a nail Rod blacksmiths could use by the way they loved all those terms couldn't put an adjective before
00:29:35
blacksmith I think it's written wrong go ahead to start with um Forge at Queen Lane go ahead Forge a Green Lane where the iron was refined and formed into bar
00:29:47
iron and nail Rod that blacksmiths could use [Laughter] there's gotta means a picture of that bring up a photo
00:30:26
of this fagly yeah oh it's voguely where is a photo of this guy yeah there we go zoom in zoom in he looks
00:30:45
like a white supremacist he was from Germany the World Council of churches there's
00:30:51
the guy oh there he is look at him what is he saying there Bob assuming what what is he saying in that meeting I love
00:30:57
[ __ ] that is what he says yeah right fastly yeah yeah I love it in the middle of the meeting yeah be honest with us actually [Laughter]
00:31:09
what's been going on with you rude tell me what the deal is in life I want to know wait I have a question first before
00:31:15
there we go here we go here we go you know this always goes who is who is that behind you who oh who the little that little guy yeah the AI created that look at this
00:31:27
this is me if I lived in India and that's Bobby because he lived in India that literally a fan gave it to us I
00:31:33
created from AI that is exactly what he looks like if he was an Indian citizen star you want you went out to do one of your
00:31:45
yeah yeah we're gonna get one well I can't she's not famous enough to we'd have to get a picture for the AI to run
00:31:51
through like all right no no we'll find that figure it out all right let's do it okay you've got a lot of nerve talking about him yeah yeah talking [ __ ] dude
00:31:58
and you know that's me that's what's rude about what you just did you knew what was made what have you
00:32:04
been doing before I what I asked you before you asked a question what's been going on in life okay
00:32:10
um I went to the strip club and I discovered that I'm lesbian whoa that's so stupid did you tell your boyfriend you're the most dumbest thing ever did you tell your boyfriend you're lesbian you're not a lesbian okay bye you're not
00:32:23
bi let me ask you some questions oh conservative Dad yeah you seem you're awesome like my daughter
00:32:29
I raised you right so um when you look at a vagina I'm like what Amazed by it and like I
00:32:37
just want to is it better than yours whoa whoa do you love it you love it yuck is like in the strip club I could
00:32:45
see everything but yeah first of all was it was it full nude because there was no booze no in
00:32:53
California if it's full nude it's no alcohol in Hawaii oh Hawaii there's no Hawaii there's no rules when were you in
00:33:00
Hawaii when you were there three three weeks ago you were there I wasn't there yeah you were there you didn't go to the strip club but you were I didn't go to the strip club was that the strip club yeah no no I wasn't you
00:33:15
weren't yeah thank you you weren't wait a minute was I at the strip club was I there
00:33:22
no I was not there no I don't do that [ __ ] so tell me you go to the strip club you don't have a lot of money so did
00:33:28
somebody give you money kalila I think I lie Andy Carla gave you how much like this much what you don't know how
00:33:35
much this is yeah it's just stack of ones so you walk in there's no door fee right you sit down do you get a lap
00:33:41
dance how do you do a strip club how does a 21 year old girl do a strip club I just kept yelling like I was yelling
00:33:49
at the witnesses not like that no no give me something I'm dancing okay right okay okay go
00:34:04
let me bring you to the stage yeah yeah ladies and gentlemen late ladies and gentlemen coming to the stage Ling me
00:34:25
we put a rope inside the room for mingling not a pole dogs you guys I was at a lake you had a beautiful little Lake my mom was there
00:34:38
yeah my mom was at the lake and uh she's like why don't you wear your bird dogs yeah so I went to the pool right and I
00:34:44
wore my bird dogs and I got stairs from all the locals and all the looks were like what are you wearing yeah I got
00:34:49
never mind it's none of your business pal yeah but you know what you stop and you say it is your business they're bird
00:34:54
dogs maybe they make you look good they they got these stretch shorts by the way show them the inside out of that it comes with an inner lining that I love
00:35:00
so much it's so comfy and snug on all your parts all right bird dogs they got this anti-stink sweat wicking fabric that keeps you cool and dry and smelling fine all day long anyway this this you
00:35:14
know this is a very comfortable idea look the same thing as Lululemon but they fit way better these things are way
00:35:19
better they fit better than regular shorts that have made a stiff restricting cotton bird dogs fix this issue by inventing these Cloud knit
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fabric that looks just like khaki and they make it so smooth and cool you can wear them to the beach to the lake at
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your house I love the office at the gym I usually don't wear shorts but these I love see I love bird dogs.com bad
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this is maybe going to clean my face up that's okay and then I've also got Hawkins and brimble uh daily energizing moisturizer this is for night time
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friends bring out those tips ladies so wait a minute you would just yell were you also throwing dollars were you making it rain yeah so you spent all your money
00:37:45
and did you get a lap dance she put her boobs in my face they do that yeah whoa It's one of their things
00:37:52
insane that's a move yeah yeah you get a little milkshake yeah it was it was like
00:37:57
I wasn't what kind of milkshake was it vanilla or chocolate chocolate milkshake yeah much better yeah yeah I went to one
00:38:05
oh so when me and colella broke up I went to one I went to a rage I went to a rage strip club what does it mean just
00:38:12
with money oh right irresponsible Vibes yeah yeah just an array yeah yeah I mean
00:38:17
just old-timey money yeah like the Monopoly man yeah and it was like a disturbing Human Experience why I went to the seventh Veil here why'd you make
00:38:28
that face why would you go to that place is great I haven't been I know I haven't been to them dude when I drive past it I
00:38:34
go like this freaks me out yeah it looks so sad it's inside of a motel yeah I know what the
00:38:41
[ __ ] and when you walk in with lots of cast old-timey oh my God they're like did they get a rabid they're like put in
00:38:47
your teeth girls he's here so anyway I went I don't want to talk about this girl because I want to break her heart well you shouldn't just talk about the ex don't talk about someone specific
00:38:58
okay but somebody how long ago was this by the way a year ago maybe ah talk about it really it's a long time she
00:39:04
probably is not there yeah and she was um I can't I can't oh please Bob yeah she's not there anymore probably it's what she did I can't talk about it what did she do oh
00:39:21
she um she wasn't attracted really that much but she was a huge fan yeah man you know how sometimes they're up there on the go I love bad friends
00:39:32
already in your head you're thinking well maybe that's the one even though you're not attracted to them right right
00:39:38
because maybe they'll do extra whatever right and then she violently played with
00:39:44
my penis hard violently over the jeans no like no mate it was out you pulled it out no she did she just pulled out your penis I was wearing sweatpants you just started yanking out yeah yeah yeah I
00:39:57
thought you couldn't do that oh not that something failed my phone unfortunately you can't do that you can't do that yeah
00:40:02
unfortunately they can it's insane it was insane I've had it off I was in San Francisco I was in San Francisco with my buddy
00:40:09
yeah and we went to a real real dicey joint in Chinatown and the girl was I don't know 75 maybe pounds it was no late she was age maybe 75. I think the
00:40:22
young ones were 60. I think those are the young ones right but this woman was an older experienced woman and literally
00:40:28
was like both and I was like no no no no that's like the VIP you know no no she goes booth like this booth oh oh spit what spitcher
00:40:40
that's probably more money spit jerk yeah so because someone just don't do the spit yeah take a booth yeah
00:40:45
yeah offer me both offer me the first one all right huh boot oh no no thank you I'm okay they do this though yeah their finger up hold on
00:40:57
I can't put any of this gesture wait why oh we'll get banned [ __ ] me oh my God so
00:41:03
you have to explain it again without this maybe you should take out the seven billion Jerk It Off yeah okay maybe yeah take that off yeah but let's get away
00:41:10
from let's get away from the yeah from from porno stuff yeah porno stuff is bad they don't like it on the YouTubes it's
00:41:15
just the emotion the motion jerking off motion yeah for some reason some weird okay let's go back to this let's go back
00:41:21
to Hawaii and you're lesbian you're in Hawaii you're now with but you're not a lesbian you're bisexual first of all because you're still with your boyfriend
00:41:27
yeah but you're still you haven't hooked up with a girl yet so I don't know yeah maybe you don't know what you're talking about sold on it I know but there's like
00:41:34
a feeling what is it like I want to try yeah I have a I have a floor of the Rings what is it I
00:41:40
want a Slayer came from but in real life I wouldn't no I is that a metaphor for a
00:41:47
second is that what you're really trying to say I want to slay him yeah yeah I want to
00:41:52
shoot super cave trolls yeah yeah I mean it's just like a feeling still doesn't you wouldn't you have to act on it no no
00:41:59
but what she's saying is look let me let's say you and I go to I think she's just trying to be you know what I mean cool time out Dad yeah that's what
00:42:05
you're trying to do all right I'm trying to be hip and young and slow down I [ __ ] [ __ ] let me tell you
00:42:11
something Fox News you're header all Fox News uh look at it like this you and I go to
00:42:17
Thunder Down Under the male strip club yeah would you get a feeling there no okay so she my point is oh what kind of
00:42:25
feeling I don't know what the feeling well we already know Tito Bobby's bye he was
00:42:30
he's done now he's done now I swear to [ __ ] guy I swear to God what I still regret you even coming here what the [ __ ] do you mean we already know nobody we confirmed it because we didn't
00:42:43
confirm it with nothing well maybe yeah has it been confirmed in your mind yeah so you think I'm bisexual I think so you
00:42:50
think so I even asked the Tikal Lila oh really here we go what did she say yeah go ahead well this will maybe prove her point if we went to thunder and saw a male strip club yeah male strippers
00:43:06
yeah what would you feel I would spit on the floor this is blasphemy and I would leave I would you would you dance in the
00:43:13
spit for a little while you would you'd rub your little body well I Spit on my dick actually can I put that in yeah God let me tell
00:43:21
you something yeah you you do have feelings for guys when they're oh it's so ridiculous what do you do what are we
00:43:28
even doing here right now you don't like you don't like boys a little bit no you're the one that keeps talking about Mr fagley
00:43:34
first of all yeah he was gay he was a great Pioneer I never said I wasn't I'm not the one
00:43:40
that came up with the this guy right here right yeah before we even came to the [ __ ] podcast what are we talking
00:43:45
about today right and then fagley is the first thing we did this holy history about the city
00:43:51
and this and that who's bisexual friend I never said I wasn't but no be real are you bisexual yeah I don't know yet like me either why
00:44:02
haven't I be there with him sure can I be in that little space I haven't I don't know yet either I haven't taken the test I haven't take the test either
00:44:07
well let's take it no I don't want to take the test Carlos give us the test we already got the test and you know
00:44:13
I lie all the time what do you think I [ __ ] tell the truth I'm Dr lie dude everything I do is a lie
00:44:20
you're not you never got your doctorate no no you're not gonna get me quiz well I never took the gay one have you
00:44:38
had feelings for for a same gender close friend yeah of course you I'm good I love you yeah yeah I think so yeah I think so next yeah have you ever kissed someone
00:44:50
and wanted to kiss someone of the same gender you have I have you have kissed me yeah you have kissed me yeah oh yeah
00:44:56
yeah yeah yeah definitely it was great well it says definitely I haven't done it but I want to try yeah and I'm not sure I felt about it yeah I'm not sure
00:45:01
okay but go with three I'll give you three yeah that's fine how do you feel about queer characters and TV shows and movies oh you love it
00:45:08
oh my God I think that the only people that should be in film I've totally watched shows with just queer ships and story lines yeah yeah yeah please please
00:45:15
yeah when someone asks you who you're crushing on I make up a name or I pick someone random yeah that's that's it
00:45:20
number two I make up a name and I pick someone random yeah yeah has anyone ever asked you if you
00:45:26
were gay yeah I've asked you every day for the last six years okay so just do uh people pretty much assume about that about me all the time when you imagine being in a relationship
00:45:38
what do you picture uh uh you know I can I'm not sure I can only see myself with one of the same sex I'll probably be with someone of the opposite sex I think four would be the thing I can only see myself with
00:45:51
someone of the opposite yeah there you go yeah the Forum yeah that's true okay how do you feel about identifying as being gay uh I'm not sure how I feel
00:45:57
about that yeah yeah you know I'm not sure have you ever felt attracted to someone of the same gender yeah but
00:46:03
everybody has right yeah how do you feel about dating some of the opposite gender yeah I don't think you would maybe no
00:46:10
you're opposite gender I definitely yeah the last fourth yeah I definitely do it I would do it okay uh do you ever fantasize being someone
00:46:17
with the same gender oh no I would say no no that's a no that's enough would you imagine when you imagine kissing her being intimate with a future partner how do you feel good I guess number two yeah good again
00:46:28
if you scroll through your feeder fyp your for you page uh do you see content from queer creators
00:46:35
yeah yeah but only because it's got one or two related posts Flash Forward five years how like is your partner is the same gender as you wow not very likely would you be comfortable
00:46:48
using lbgbtq dating app oh no no there's no way not really but I wouldn't rule it
00:46:53
out completely really you never know what happens okay good relationship ends uh the lgbtq individuals in your friend
00:46:59
group yeah absolutely yeah for sure yeah absolutely yeah yeah what inspired you to take this quiz how long is this quiz
00:47:05
what inspired you um uh just uh I just curious about the result I'll get number three yeah let's see yeah drumroll
00:47:16
what does it say what do my results mean you may experience right there you may experience a small amount of attraction
00:47:21
to people the same gender small amount small amount so I'm bi is that what it says or no yeah okay
00:47:29
well the internet said it uh sadly I'm not bi sorry you're alone on this one either sadly I thought you said oh come on dude I don't like guys
00:47:42
so if you break up with um what's his name Ricky what's his name Joseph if you break up with Joey you're going for girls you you could see yourself being in a relationship with a girl I might be
00:47:53
because I have this class to me in my bio class oh here we go she's like really pretty and everything what's everything mean
00:48:12
yeah yeah so this and then see that what's this her back the body and then like that her
00:48:20
body's some like straight up and right up and down like that there's no spine she has good posture sideways posture oh
00:48:27
like that good posture it's got like so you would say she was thin but it had a bubbly butt um
00:48:33
yeah and she has big boobs and she's smart and she has a nice smile yeah and that just make up a name for her
00:48:44
you're single now no I can't I can't no no yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm right so you're
00:48:50
single now but she's not gay how do you know how do you know okay that's [ __ ] blasphemy would you say because she has
00:48:57
a boyfriend so do you yeah cut to school cut to school she just broke up with her boyfriend you broke up with [ __ ]
00:49:02
Joseph right and I'm going now I'm like writing I'm writing an essay I don't know how to do it well you're never gonna be able to get this done in real life you can't do it here um excuse
00:49:19
me why are you standing there we're friends oh hi Jules hi Raisa hi what's up I'm doing my essay um I was wondering if you wanted to hang
00:49:34
out later hang out what does that mean like go to the movies oh as friends yeah that's the wrong move what do you
00:49:47
say I'll do it I'll be you ready yeah go ahead hey are you writing an essay yes I am oh cool what are you doing
00:50:00
later well first of all let me finish I'm doing the etymology of the word anthropology whoa you are smart yeah
00:50:07
let's see about the etymology of the word anthropology so you're not just big boobs and big tits you also got big
00:50:12
excuse me I'm half Brazilian oh like that's why it sticks out like that yeah yeah so anyway what's up do you have a
00:50:21
boyfriend do you have a boyfriend well you know we just broke up oh my God I just broke up with my boyfriend well I
00:50:27
was about to tell you what happened and you're sitting here with me anyway what's up I just broke up with my
00:50:33
boyfriend oh I'm sorry what happened with yours oh God he died he died yeah oh my God it's so [ __ ] sad this morning say this this morning oh really yeah this might be too soon that's okay
00:50:46
I don't know how to say this to you but I was wondering if maybe I could eat your [ __ ] and then this is
00:50:54
why would it [Laughter] you know what that is what is that a little stick in the pen no you didn't notice I was riding with a pen and now it's down here like this Ryan oh right
00:51:06
and the tip is just say it again I was wondering if I could creature look you should ask her out on a date did you have to cut that out no okay you gotta ask her out on a date you gotta
00:51:20
ask her out maybe not that way you mean no I like that yeah I like that let me ask you something do people do their
00:51:26
essays at the desk I don't know I don't know essays I don't know you do essays later also people have computers
00:51:32
computers oh but that's where I went long yeah what you haven't been in high school in 30 years things have changed
00:51:40
that's better can you believe that you have been in high school a class since 30 years Palomar College
00:51:46
so I did go to a junior college for like a semester okay but you were in high school 30
00:51:52
years ago that's insane I I don't know what yeah you graduated in 90 yeah 1990 90 right yeah so here's what I remember I remember Bunsen burners
00:52:06
do they still have those yeah well ask her I'm not in [ __ ] Heights right yeah I remember this guy what is that
00:52:12
what's the guy the skeleton oh who is it Jesus no there's a skeleton in science class yeah yeah you can still have those skeletons yeah well they don't go they're just skeletons like this they don't do it
00:52:23
they didn't prop their arms I put the bottoms up like that oh yeah I got in trouble for that yeah yeah yeah and then there's like little like things on the
00:52:30
skeleton bones yeah like little needle points no not just needle points it was like you know A5 and then you could look
00:52:36
at a chart oh yeah that's a femur bone yeah I remember that whatever remember right yeah that's they had that I also
00:52:41
remember um that's it you remember nothing else from high school no I remember one time this girl
00:52:47
named Heather oh my God made me so [ __ ] mad so I had just got on my third rehab third time and I don't know
00:52:54
my history teacher because I was gone for like a month so the history teacher goes um and we want to welcome Mr Lee
00:53:00
back he just went to a rehabilitation center and he's now sober she wanted like people to applaud and the school
00:53:07
Heather go why do you have to do drugs anyway because of you Heather that's why exactly because of you people like you
00:53:15
Heather you [ __ ] [ __ ] and I remember her break I was like she liked you what she had a crush on you that's what it is 100 a girl had a crush on me that pulled
00:53:25
some [ __ ] got me suspended yeah in health class yeah we were drunk they had they had they had diagrams of penises of
00:53:31
the inside of a penis tell me what it looks like kind of like her towards the back you know what we go on vacations yeah we do we go on adventures I'm about to and sometimes when you go
00:53:42
to like Hawaii or whatever right you don't know what to do and you got to go to Viator because Viator has over 300 000 bookable travel
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00:54:01
fightor is the place to go to book memorable travel experiences I am going on a little trip Bobby used Viator and bought me something which is very sweet maybe we'll show it to you guys yeah it
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was incredible and I'm very appreciative because Viator it involves so much to choose from and you fly you fly that's
00:54:18
right towards a website and app where you can book travel experiences that's what it is and they offer so many things
00:54:23
simple tours to Extreme Adventures if you're like Laura Croft and you want to go into the extreme but if you want to
00:54:29
do something simple you have simple ones too you can do John Wick type of stuff or yeah yeah you can just do Bobby and
00:54:34
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00:54:59
showed you the diagram so I was tracing the [ __ ] so I was just tracing [ __ ] on on loose
00:55:05
leaf paper yeah because why not and then I was just assign it and then hand it to my friends in class that was your merch
00:55:10
back then yeah five bucks you know what I mean yeah I was slinging [ __ ] yeah yeah so I would I signed one one of them
00:55:17
I drew and I drew something with the teacher's name in it why would you put her name on I think I put her name in
00:55:23
like a puddle of jizz or something underneath it that's hilarious yeah it was high school yeah yeah and I threw it away yeah and then this [ __ ] snitch
00:55:29
from my class [ __ ] [ __ ] dug it out of the trash Oh my [ __ ] and gave it to the teacher and then I got [ __ ]
00:55:35
suspended after the fact for how long a week and then you what did your parents say my dad was like you know do you have a
00:55:43
future in the Arts are you looking at me my parents were so [ __ ] I got suspended so many times so many times
00:55:49
one time I got suspended one time I brought a BB gun to school I got suspended for that oh yeah but I was
00:55:54
shooting people at the bus stop so that was a big deal yeah this is back before school shootings I was just shooting people and I would shoot people out of
00:56:00
the bus as it was moving but it was BB's it wasn't going to kill him I killed so many squirrels with the BB gun I love BB I love it and I shoot them all the time
00:56:06
then I got suspended for opening up the back door of the bus and US jumping out why did you do that we just wanted to
00:56:11
jump out of it while it was right I thought that was fine oh it was over well I was bringing to my other friend dude yeah dude dude Bobby
00:56:24
what's in your bag yeah you have to do drugs anyway yeah no but I um yeah I was kicked out of school
00:56:31
all the time I just got I got suspended so many times yeah that's a funny thing I used to sell weed and I just never got
00:56:36
caught for that wow but I got caught for everything else yeah dumb [ __ ] if you're young listening to this podcast in high
00:56:42
school yeah generally probably a male uh high school kids yeah probably gonna be
00:56:47
a guy yeah yeah and I've noticed that with our podcast well we get a lot of chicks but they're not in high school
00:56:52
yeah and they're also like a little funny-eyed if you go deep look at us I know yeah look at their leader you know their leaders are something [ __ ] up you too
00:57:07
you too you especially you two don't know probably me you too the most yeah yeah but anyway
00:57:12
um yeah so my point is is that what was that even don't follow us are you saying don't do what we do no but no in high
00:57:18
school if you're just no because back then we would behave like that and what would the counselors and teachers say he
00:57:24
has no future yeah they used to say if you could focus your own injury energy you'd actually be successful in life yeah meaning you're not going to be
00:57:30
successful but you're not going to focus your energy yeah yeah and they always looked at us like oh you have no future you're you're screwed right yeah and
00:57:37
then look at us now my point though if you're young like the thing on Fire Light It On Fire yeah yeah break it
00:57:43
still yeah yeah yeah yeah bring it bring your gun to school doodle penises yeah you might as well doodle the difference
00:57:48
go crazy a little bit it doesn't matter I ended up hooking up with that girl years later no really is that yeah and
00:57:54
did you grab her hair why'd you [ __ ] knock me out [ __ ] against the headboard yeah no I do we hooked up years later how weird was that it was like this strangest it was like
00:58:05
sex yeah it was like it was like weird Revenge did you guys talk about it though or no I've never seen her that
00:58:10
was no dude every time you talk about her opening the thing doing that yeah yeah we talked one at one point we
00:58:16
talked about that why she tried to and then she said y'all had a crush on you and I I like liked you and I hate it
00:58:21
it's the weirdest way to [ __ ] girls are [ __ ] weird dude girls do weird [ __ ] when guys are all so weird yeah
00:58:26
you're weirder than us so because we're when we have a crush on you we're literally like I like you no no no uh
00:58:32
someone kept bullying me in high school yeah and then American or Philippines Philippines okay and then a year later
00:58:39
he's told me I like you well that's but that's the Filipino way yeah in America we don't do we don't do that yeah oh
00:58:45
what do you mean Ebola do you physically push you no he kept saying what you're dark you're ugly oh yeah you know here's
00:58:53
the thing with you Filipinos not a lie I've been told you guys you guys don't like the dark skin yeah you're so rich
00:58:59
this is so racist shamed for dark skin it's insane what do you mean that happens in all over Asia I don't like it
00:59:05
like go to Japan I know they're all white the whiter the the whiter they feel like it's more Super yeah these
00:59:10
these bigots do it too yeah the Spanish dude that they look down on the [ __ ] Mexicans that's why I came to the US to
00:59:17
do what dude that's gonna do that huh a country that doesn't do that that respect everybody yeah right but you go
00:59:24
back to Spain like you just did you know he loves talking [ __ ] he's gross dude these guys Carlos is
00:59:30
another one yeah light-skinned yeah yeah elitist yeah he's got Mexico yeah my dad's not uh light your dad's from Mexico City right yeah my mom is too but she's white because she's like fancy
00:59:42
your mom's not white she's Mexican yeah but she's like she okay but honestly I think she's hot when her and I were chatting I know me too at some point [ __ ] me too her dad and he was like penetration like this and I was like in
00:59:54
your mind though I was trying to keep your mind though penetration do you want me to leave so you can say
01:00:01
it we'll say it here we'll say I don't give a [ __ ] yeah I think you should stand around she's hot yeah okay she
01:00:06
actually is sexy yeah she's pretty sexy well I've been in an Uber alone with your mom that's interesting interesting
01:00:12
interesting interesting very interesting that's very interesting so you went to pick up my mom at her house right yeah she's waiting outside for me wait a
01:00:19
minute what was she wearing do you remember I mean she was going out that night so
01:00:25
it's like a beautiful dress I believe he remembers yeah ew he knows what color lipstick did chubby did Red
01:00:31
red what kind of what kind of shoes do you remember what kind of shoes she had on like rubbery like Abuelita type shoes
01:00:37
like Grandma shoes yeah yeah yeah what's grandma in Korean I Harmony Harmony yeah it sounds like you're trying to say Harmony in Korean so it's Harmony but they just can't say it no it's not
01:00:51
harmony harmony how many how many just one grandmother yeah that's what I'm saying how many
01:00:58
yeah just one oh one yeah yeah no um so she was cool we I think he's doing it you open the store you find my mom to be funny yes she was cool
01:01:10
she's so funny yeah and she says weird things yeah like she kept trying to tell the Uber driver how to go like get to
01:01:17
the freeway but it was like really awesome giving him directions yeah he had directions can she still drive yeah
01:01:23
she's getting close though isn't she close to what not driving anymore Oh I thought she was getting her NASCAR
01:01:30
can you imagine and in Lane ten I'm Bobby's mom yeah no she's she's fine anyway what was so um
01:01:41
she was hot when she was younger though that's what people said oh really in her 20s who said that his [ __ ] sister no
01:01:47
have you seen I have a photo of her of his mom of my mom oh your men are like bragging about his mom being hot in her
01:01:54
20s like all the kids from my school were like oh your mom was hot in her 20s did she she how different did she look
01:02:01
then I mean I have a photo on my phone kinda I want to see all right see oh yeah can we show the fans yeah
01:02:09
no [ __ ] you dude what are you talking about the way you said it she was hot in her nobody says she's hot no people
01:02:15
thought she was like cute or whatever did your friend say that there yeah your mom was cute when she was in her 20s she
01:02:22
was a neighborhood babe she was a baby she was she was Abraham Lincoln it's almost here I got it oh that's my dead
01:02:28
Dad okay I still have photos of my dead dad on my phone is that insane I mean you know
01:02:36
wow there she is right there where yeah damn she is hot yeah she was kind of cute you know what I mean why did you not get any of that stuff yeah how come you didn't get that stuff okay
01:02:54
enough about me and he hears me as a baby I've never heard Bobby say enough about me me as a
01:03:00
baby now that looks like your dad that's the problem is that you look exactly right
01:03:08
look how does your dad look right now let me see what does your dad look like now well
01:03:14
this is I don't this is a stunning photo I may have to blur this out let me see and my brother took this I don't know
01:03:20
what the [ __ ] is going on there I was just his dick out is he pissing he's P he's peeing in a toilet I have no idea what's going on here oh that's so lovely yeah we have now uh bad advice
01:03:30
welcome to the bad advice hello bad friend I am is that you he's fancy great we got fancy Colony yeah yeah I've missed you guys here it is
01:03:42
some advice um I just basically figured out that my biological mom is actually my cousin I
01:03:51
put basically what happened was my cousin donated an egg to my mom and then my mom birthed me but my cousin is actually my biological mom
01:04:04
wondering if you have any advice on that well thank you guys good news I think you could [ __ ] your mom now yeah
01:04:12
[Laughter] go for it buddy right I mean honestly your cousin yeah but his mom still carried him does that affect it it does
01:04:24
in what way well I'm saying you know you could he could okay how about that you could okay don't [ __ ] your cousin though that's your mom that's how they say yeah that's what you
01:04:35
think so they say yeah yeah that's interesting and he just found that out to me if she carried him I wouldn't want
01:04:42
to know that information whatsoever I don't think so either I wouldn't want it well I'm also not gonna [ __ ] any of my family members so I don't need to be
01:04:47
like don't [ __ ] your cousin that could be your mom yeah that's never been a problem well you know I watched that show long last family yeah are there a
01:04:54
lot of cousin [ __ ] on that show no but there's a lot of like you know one girl this is an interesting one this is not even that funny but I have to tell
01:04:59
you anyway please there was a girl that was like when she was 19 she got in a fight with her mom and she found out
01:05:05
that her dad wasn't her dad yeah I mean that happens constantly right so then she like um got some you know uh genetic
01:05:12
testing yeah 23andMe and all that's not right and um she couldn't find her real biological dad she had
01:05:18
her mom basically said one night in the 60s I was at a pizza joint and there was
01:05:24
a guy that worked at the pizza [ __ ] the guy in the pizza yeah and then that's your dad that's awesome it's awesome right yeah so through the show that's
01:05:30
why your name's pepperoni so through the show this is cool right so so what she does for a living right is she has like uh she rescues animals
01:05:42
okay right that's what she does right now so now she's in her 40s and she contacts herself they find the guy no the pizza guy he's still working there no no he is in charge of the Oregon like
01:05:55
animal conservation lovers right so she goes to see your dad and they do the same thing yeah they do
01:06:01
the same exactly that's cutie pie [ __ ] yeah yeah that is Cutie Pie [ __ ] yeah that's what that show's about it's cool when you see that like it's like it was
01:06:08
in the blood it was in the DNA right that's that's nature not nurture yeah I love this next
01:06:15
we have so much stuff uh planned for you guys on the patreon so you sign up at patreon.com bad friends that's right patreon.com bad friends sign up with us
01:06:26
today what is this hahaha thank you wait a minute let me actually deposit that okay I don't like that part he's
01:06:40
kicking him why does he kill you but that right who would win him or Brad Williams him he's a black belt that's true but would you I would give anything to see
01:06:53
that fight 100 be honest be truly honest yeah me versus that guy him black belt I would [ __ ] that guy up I would just I would just beat him just by submission [ __ ] him up
01:07:07
what are the rules you can't jump over him you gotta stay in front of me at all times used to fight on your knees no dude yeah no that's not
01:07:18
no [ __ ] if I could use it you just asked can I use can I do like a Muay Thai kick to his face it's got to be a fair fight
01:07:24
oh that's not well then then yeah then you're done yeah wait a minute Google this have you seen the [ __ ] swimmer
01:07:30
who set the record with no arms oh yeah this Asian guy do you not know about this like that's cheating about go ahead
01:07:35
this is insane he set a [ __ ] world record Chinese swimmer with no arms no arms he uses his head to touch the wall you know when he's like when he's instead of your arm out wait wait
01:07:48
he's known as the armless flying fish in China because of his performance yeah but does he use an apparatus no a motor
01:07:55
yeah yeah I mean he just holds on it with his mouth is he replacing his arms with anything
01:08:03
no he's just bobbing show him show a different video of him swimming you have to see and he can beat people with arms
01:08:09
he smokes him he doesn't beat him he smokes them dude he did the [ __ ] not the butterfly but uh Chinese no arm swimmer why are you laughing at that obliterates look at
01:08:21
this it's all little wings yeah yeah it's oh he could do it with his Nubs no okay freestyle obviously freestyle yeah it's all shoulder now watch this yeah go
01:08:31
ahead watch what this guy [ __ ] does okay all right so that's what it is watch how
01:08:37
fast he swims okay let's go this is gonna blow your mind yeah I know okay look all right watch watch where is he you can you'll be able to tell in seconds look at him
01:08:49
no arms he's so fast oh he's so fast dude well no one else is using their arms look at him he's cruising his head look at his head is bobbing just above the water there he's getting which one is it he's that one and the one in the
01:09:00
lead he's murdering everybody murdering him and he uses his head to hit the response for a second could it just say
01:09:06
something let me just say and I'm not ripping on the guy it sounds like you're gonna be I know but this is one competition where
01:09:12
no one's using their arms no that's not true some people have arms no no go back to the beginning no this
01:09:18
no one's using this yes they are go back legs only look look go back to the very beginning to start look see there's a
01:09:24
guy with arms right there I know but the swim is no art it's an armless it's freestyle so they are used some of them
01:09:29
are using them that's using his arms I'm not trying to be a dick but press play go ahead now watch watch that guy swim
01:09:34
with his arms no okay go ahead those guys are swimming with their arms right there oh yeah you're right yeah
01:09:41
you're right the only guys that aren't using their arms are the guys with no arms wait all three of them have no arm
01:09:47
yes and he's beating all of them he's especially beating the guy with arms could I just say that this is not an
01:09:53
Olympic thing though there's like a anybody you know how to swim this is in my life
01:10:01
it's the cover your arms yeah and that's what this is Paralympics oh it's a Paralympics yes yeah
01:10:08
what does that mean everyone has something I don't know what the other guys have with the arms this guy would smoke you maybe they don't have abdomens
01:10:15
or something of course underwater View that's Carlos I swear to [ __ ] Carlos I swear to god dude look at his head he's just like coasting right above the water in the water though I feel like he's
01:10:31
using his tongue [Laughter] a lot of blinking you have to use everything yeah you sucking water in his ass
01:10:57
I like that the show is dark it's so weird that's great for him it's good for this guy yeah you got to celebrate this
01:11:02
kind of guy but you know when he wins you know what you can't do high five him you have the nub five and those are you gonna get close enough baby hey good job
01:11:16
all right okay dark dark so dark fun thank you for being a bad friend that was a fun episode [Music]
01:11:42
thank you