00:00:00
Hey, Bad Friends. I'm doing a bunch of
00:00:02
shows. First off, Bobby and I, the Bad
00:00:05
Friends Live, are going to be uh at
00:00:06
Netflix as a jokefest here in Los
00:00:08
Angeles at the YouTube theater down by
00:00:10
SoFi. That's May 8th. Get your tickets
00:00:12
right now. Then I'll be down in Delmare
00:00:14
at the Sound in San Diego, bro. Surf's
00:00:17
up. June 28th, I'm doing two shows early
00:00:19
in a late show. And then July 24th, I'm
00:00:21
at the Star Casino in St. Charles,
00:00:23
Missouri, which might as well be St.
00:00:24
Louis, Missouri. Come out and see me. Go
00:00:26
to Andrewsantino.com for those tickets.
00:00:28
Andrewsino.com.
00:00:29
Hey everybody, Bobby Lee here. You know,
00:00:31
um I I shot a special and so I'm going
00:00:33
to do the finally tour before the
00:00:36
special comes out. I want to be in
00:00:37
Detroit 424, Indianapolis 425, Montlair
00:00:43
51, um Atlantic City 52. Just go to my
00:00:46
website and check out the other day.
00:00:47
It's Medford 53, San Antonio 515, and go
00:00:51
check it out. Uh my it's going to be a
00:00:53
theater tour, my first one. And come see
00:00:55
me live. Go to bobbye.live. You two are
00:00:58
bad friends.
00:00:59
>> Who are these two idiots?
00:01:01
>> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two
00:01:04
are disgusting.
00:01:06
>> You two are something.
00:01:08
>> We're bad friends.
00:01:09
>> It smells like dog food in here.
00:01:11
>> Yep.
00:01:11
>> Rook.
00:01:12
>> Bobby just got here.
00:01:13
>> I just got here. Um I yelled at um the
00:01:17
host for putting the mic stand low. You
00:01:20
know how they try to get a laugh?
00:01:22
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:01:22
>> Cuz I'm small.
00:01:24
>> I've done I've do that.
00:01:25
>> I know. And it makes me so angry. But I
00:01:27
won't yell at you. But I went, "If you
00:01:29
ever do that again, I'll rip you."
00:01:31
>> Oh, I've gotten that from you.
00:01:32
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:01:33
>> The low voice.
00:01:33
>> Because it's because it's it's it's
00:01:35
trying to get a laugh that I'm sure,
00:01:38
right? But it's not my laugh.
00:01:41
>> It's their laugh.
00:01:43
>> You know what I mean? It's the residue
00:01:45
laugh.
00:01:45
>> Yeah. Leftover laugh.
00:01:46
>> Yeah. It's leftover laugh when they're
00:01:48
not even on stage. They try to get a
00:01:49
laugh.
00:01:49
>> Yeah.
00:01:50
>> And they're in the back going
00:01:52
>> I made the mic store. You know, I bet
00:01:55
you Brad gets that. Williams.
00:01:56
>> Oh, dude. I do the opposite for him.
00:01:58
When Brad follows me in the store, I put
00:02:00
it as high as I can.
00:02:01
>> That's See, that's the same thing.
00:02:04
>> It's the same thing.
00:02:05
>> But it's funny
00:02:06
>> for you.
00:02:07
>> For all of us.
00:02:08
>> For Brad, it's
00:02:12
>> For Brad, it's a whole extra thing he
00:02:13
has to do.
00:02:14
>> That's funny, dude.
00:02:14
>> For me, it's a You know what I mean? I
00:02:16
have I get a laugh, but then I have to
00:02:18
go I'm small
00:02:20
>> and do that face like the world God made
00:02:23
me,
00:02:24
>> right? And then Brad has to bring it
00:02:26
down.
00:02:26
>> Yeah, it's funny.
00:02:27
>> It's for for the person before. But it's
00:02:29
not our laugh.
00:02:30
>> All right. You know what? We're not
00:02:31
going to do any No more funny stuff.
00:02:32
>> No more comedy.
00:02:34
>> Okay.
00:02:34
>> I think we're done with comedy.
00:02:36
>> Yeah.
00:02:36
>> All weekend long.
00:02:38
>> All weekend long.
00:02:39
>> That's not what I'm saying. What I'm
00:02:40
saying is is that
00:02:40
>> No, Brad left his toothbrush here at the
00:02:42
studio.
00:02:43
>> He did. Yeah. And his pen. And his pen.
00:02:44
>> And his pen. Another
00:02:46
thing is um get it off your chest.
00:02:50
>> When like one time I was in the O and
00:02:53
Steve Burn halfway during myself grabbed
00:02:56
the mic from the side of the stage and w
00:02:58
w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w
00:02:58
w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w
00:02:58
walked up on stage and then goes let's
00:03:00
do a duo.
00:03:02
Let's play with a crowd. And that made
00:03:05
me so mad.
00:03:07
>> This is very funny. You know, he at San
00:03:09
Francisco at the last time I just played
00:03:11
punch, he showed up and he came on stage
00:03:13
at the end of my
00:03:14
>> Did you ask him to come up or did he
00:03:15
just come up on stage?
00:03:17
>> He just came up.
00:03:18
>> No. Are you being real?
00:03:19
>> I'm being serious.
00:03:19
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:03:20
>> But I welcomed it with open arms. I
00:03:21
thought it was
00:03:21
>> Yeah, I don't welcome open arms.
00:03:23
>> You didn't want it.
00:03:24
>> He's half Korean.
00:03:25
>> Oh, he's not a full Yeah, you got to be
00:03:26
a fully to pull that kind of stunt. You
00:03:28
got to be a full Yeah, you got to be a
00:03:29
full I actually totally agree.
00:03:30
>> Yeah. Yeah. It No, because it's like I'm
00:03:32
in the middle of a setup and all of a
00:03:34
sudden, what's up? without asking. And
00:03:38
it's just like I I don't like that.
00:03:39
>> Also, from a from a outsers's
00:03:41
perspective, it looks like your Korean
00:03:44
uncle who's got it together cuz he wears
00:03:45
a suit is coming to like
00:03:47
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:03:48
>> Like talk you down a little bit. Let me
00:03:50
do comedy for you. Yeah.
00:03:51
>> Cuz you wears suits and we wear clothes.
00:03:53
>> Yeah. I also don't like this. I just
00:03:55
realized. Right.
00:03:56
>> Give it to me. Give me the idol.
00:03:57
>> I'm going to give you the the feature
00:03:59
smile.
00:04:00
>> What is it? So what what happens is
00:04:02
you're you're backstage
00:04:05
>> because I just played the San Jose
00:04:06
improv and Ramsay Badawi had a really
00:04:08
good set before me.
00:04:11
>> And so there's a curtain and he opens it
00:04:13
and he has a smile
00:04:16
>> at you.
00:04:18
>> Yeah. Like he knows he killed,
00:04:20
>> right?
00:04:21
>> Oh yeah.
00:04:21
>> And he go if you do feature smiles
00:04:23
again.
00:04:24
>> No feature smiles.
00:04:25
>> No, no, no. I need a frown.
00:04:27
>> I know how well you did. I heard it. I
00:04:29
tell my features, "No smiling at all. No
00:04:31
comedy." I say, "Go up there, say
00:04:33
hello."
00:04:33
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:04:34
>> Tell people where you're from. Yeah.
00:04:36
>> Tell them the favorite foods you have.
00:04:37
>> Yeah.
00:04:38
>> And that's it. And then get off. Yeah.
00:04:40
>> Bring up the headliner.
00:04:41
>> And then the last thing I want to Can I
00:04:43
just get off my chest?
00:04:44
>> I love stuff on your chest.
00:04:46
>> Pause.
00:04:47
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:04:48
>> Are you being real?
00:04:49
>> Yeah. I want you to get it off your
00:04:50
chest.
00:04:50
>> Okay. So, um,
00:04:52
>> what?
00:04:54
>> I hate needy hosts. M
00:04:58
>> was that good funny? No, I had a local,
00:05:01
you know, nice girl. She's already I
00:05:03
already brutally, you know what I mean?
00:05:05
Verbalized it to her.
00:05:06
>> Well, then so should we be talking about
00:05:08
it?
00:05:08
>> Yeah. Well, I I could just be vague
00:05:10
about it.
00:05:10
>> It's going to ruminate feelings again
00:05:12
then for her. She's going to hear this
00:05:13
100% and be like, "That's about me."
00:05:15
>> No, maybe it's going to teach her a
00:05:16
lesson.
00:05:17
>> Teach.
00:05:24
>> Did she bomb? No, no, she did great.
00:05:26
>> Oh, well then okay.
00:05:27
>> No, she did great. I think she has a
00:05:29
future.
00:05:34
>> I do.
00:05:35
>> Okay.
00:05:35
>> Yeah,
00:05:36
>> you're not selling me on it.
00:05:37
>> Yeah. Yeah, but can I
00:05:38
>> be a car salesman? She has a future.
00:05:40
>> Well, how is this? Welcome to open mic
00:05:43
night lot.
00:05:44
>> What?
00:05:45
>> The open mic night lot.
00:05:46
>> Oh, it's at the lot.
00:05:47
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We have many new
00:05:48
new open up micers here.
00:05:50
>> All new new.
00:05:50
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We've got um look at
00:05:53
this uh one. This is a Oo,
00:05:55
>> this one's called Catbird
00:05:57
>> really quick.
00:05:58
>> Snappy.
00:05:59
>> Yeah. And it's like, you know, I mean,
00:06:00
and it's an engine that grows.
00:06:03
>> Yeah. Yeah. You know, I mean, it's a
00:06:04
slim design, right? And it creates food.
00:06:08
>> She was a chef.
00:06:10
>> She No, she was married to a chef.
00:06:12
>> No, she was a chef. She was a chef.
00:06:13
>> She was a Michelin star chef.
00:06:15
>> That's not true.
00:06:15
>> She worked at Michelin star restaurants
00:06:17
as a chef.
00:06:17
>> That doesn't make you a Michelin star
00:06:18
chef cuz you worked at a [ __ ]
00:06:20
>> She pour water.
00:06:22
>> Yeah. I I I
00:06:27
water
00:06:27
>> basil
00:06:29
at the end.
00:06:30
>> Yeah.
00:06:30
>> The last line person that does the herbs
00:06:32
or whatever.
00:06:33
>> She go water up.
00:06:35
>> Yeah. Scoop of uh
00:06:37
>> scoop of caviar on top.
00:06:38
>> Just one little caviar scoop.
00:06:39
>> Yeah. Yeah. And the chef goes, "TOO MUCH
00:06:41
CAVIAR.
00:06:41
>> WHAT ARE YOU [ __ ] DOING?"
00:06:43
>> YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. Um anyway, um
00:06:46
>> get it off your chest.
00:06:46
>> So this is Capper. Um this is another
00:06:50
model we have. Okay. Is it? Yeah.
00:06:52
>> Is it foreign?
00:06:53
>> No, it's black. It's a black sleek
00:06:56
color. Call it a Devontre.
00:06:58
>> Oh, this is this is a good car.
00:06:59
>> It's a gray car.
00:07:00
>> Yeah. Fast.
00:07:01
>> It's the It's also the bestselling.
00:07:03
>> It's got to be. Yeah.
00:07:04
>> Yeah. This car though.
00:07:09
>> You're going to love this car.
00:07:11
>> This car right here. Right.
00:07:12
>> No. If it doesn't look like
00:07:13
>> it asks a lot of questions.
00:07:14
>> Too many questions.
00:07:15
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like Nightrider.
00:07:18
>> It talks. It talks the whole time.
00:07:19
>> It talks the whole time. You can't turn
00:07:21
it off.
00:07:21
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hello. You know what I
00:07:23
mean? You're driving too fast.
00:07:26
All the rules. You know what I mean? It
00:07:29
talks a lot.
00:07:29
>> It talks a lot.
00:07:30
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's no off button.
00:07:31
>> Oh, there's no switch.
00:07:32
>> No.
00:07:33
>> Unless you turn it off.
00:07:35
>> Unless you're really
00:07:35
>> Yeah. Maybe it's talking to itself at
00:07:37
night. You know what I mean?
00:07:38
>> But Yeah. Yeah.
00:07:39
>> Maybe it'll run out of gas.
00:07:40
>> But it's a lot of like, you know, I
00:07:42
mean, you know, so what? How do I make
00:07:43
it to this? How do I do this?
00:07:45
>> Inquisitive.
00:07:46
>> Inquisitive. Like, you know, I mean, how
00:07:47
do you make it? You know, I mean, who
00:07:48
how do I get an a agent? this and that,
00:07:50
you know what I mean? And then it's
00:07:52
like, you know, you have to go, "Hey,
00:07:54
hey, hey, stop.
00:07:58
You have to have that conversation of
00:08:00
like, you know, you know,
00:08:01
>> I'm the polar opposite." I'm like, "I'll
00:08:03
give you an Excel spreadsheet on how to
00:08:05
do everything that you're asking me to
00:08:06
do."
00:08:06
>> No, I did. I I I did tell her what to
00:08:08
do.
00:08:08
>> You do. You give her the hints.
00:08:10
>> Yeah, I gave her like this is what you
00:08:11
do. And then I But I don't think that
00:08:13
she got what I was saying.
00:08:14
>> Well, you can lead a horse to water. Uh
00:08:17
but it'll eventually be glue. That's
00:08:20
>> That's what they say. That's the It's
00:08:22
going to be It's going to be Meanwhile,
00:08:23
Carlos is wearing a win hat.
00:08:25
>> Mhm.
00:08:25
>> Yeah, cuz you guys were at the win.
00:08:26
>> Do you bought that hat or they give us
00:08:28
those hats?
00:08:29
>> No, I bought it. I like I got the same
00:08:30
one at Caesars years ago.
00:08:32
>> I know. I remember.
00:08:33
>> I like this specific hat.
00:08:34
>> It's uh I have my Circus Circus hat at
00:08:36
home.
00:08:41
>> I should have brought it in.
00:08:41
>> Fancy got that Stratosphere hat
00:08:44
>> everywhere I go in the casino.
00:08:46
>> Yeah.
00:08:46
>> Where's [ __ ] Bobby, bro? Yeah. Yeah.
00:08:48
>> Where's Bobby?
00:08:49
>> I get that every time at the airport.
00:08:51
>> Why can't we make a shirt that says
00:08:52
where's Bobby?
00:08:54
>> Where's Santino?
00:08:54
>> We should make sure to say where's
00:08:55
Bobby.
00:08:56
>> Yeah,
00:08:56
>> we had a great time. By the way, I had
00:08:58
an a conversation with my driver, my
00:09:00
Uber driver on the way to the airport.
00:09:02
So nice. So nice. But I was very tired.
00:09:05
Yeah,
00:09:05
>> we had a long weekend. I just kind of
00:09:07
wanted to chill.
00:09:09
>> And he was chatty chatty. He was
00:09:10
inquisitive. He was chatty chatty bang
00:09:12
bang. He was very inquisitive.
00:09:13
>> You You don't know the rules?
00:09:14
>> What do you mean?
00:09:15
>> What you do?
00:09:16
>> What do I do? I open with a statement.
00:09:19
>> You say, "I don't want to talk."
00:09:20
>> No.
00:09:20
>> What do you say?
00:09:21
>> Okay. Hey, dude. I'm going to be
00:09:22
listening to music, so if you need
00:09:23
anything, just, you know what I mean?
00:09:24
Kind of put your hand up.
00:09:26
>> But he was a fan.
00:09:27
>> But my earphones aren't even on.
00:09:31
>> Okay. So, the Uber driver, super nice
00:09:33
guy. He's a big fan. Loves bad friends.
00:09:35
Loves you.
00:09:35
>> How do you know?
00:09:36
>> He vocalized.
00:09:38
>> Verbally
00:09:41
>> or through hand language or
00:09:43
>> nonverbal?
00:09:44
>> It was non-verbal. Through facial
00:09:45
expressions. He goes, "Bad friends."
00:09:47
>> Yeah, that's verbal.
00:09:48
>> He went,
00:09:49
>> "Yeah, that's bad friends." Yeah. Yeah.
00:09:53
Okay.
00:09:53
>> No, this is bad friends. And
00:09:55
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, he did that.
00:09:57
>> He said he loved us.
00:09:58
>> Yeah.
00:09:58
>> And then he was talking and I said he
00:10:00
was talking. He was like, "Oh, I just
00:10:01
drove back from LA." Blah blah blah blah
00:10:02
blah.
00:10:03
>> He's like, "I've been in the car for
00:10:04
like 30 hours or something like that." I
00:10:06
was like, "Oh, that's crazy." And he
00:10:07
said, "I got a gift sent to me from my
00:10:08
home country for my sister's wedding or
00:10:10
something. I had to go pick it up." I
00:10:12
said, "Oh, that's cool. Where where
00:10:13
originally from?" uh Pakistan and
00:10:16
immediately I'm in like a mood like he's
00:10:18
trying to talk about and I just all I
00:10:20
kept thinking about was those videos
00:10:21
from Pakistan that's like do you love
00:10:23
Pakistan
00:10:24
>> do you know those videos and I started
00:10:26
talking to him he goes I love those
00:10:27
videos one day I'm going to be pilot I
00:10:30
dude what will you do for Pakistan and
00:10:33
so I'm literally just yelling at him
00:10:35
like that in the car I'm not even
00:10:36
letting get another word out I keep
00:10:38
going I love Pakistan is great and then
00:10:40
he goes I have no problem with that I'm
00:10:43
Pakistani I have Indian friends and
00:10:45
>> he so he's opened up this gate. I'm like
00:10:46
oh no I just think the videos are funny.
00:10:48
He's like no but I understand there's a
00:10:49
lot of hatred in the world right now as
00:10:51
far as and I was like oh no I think he
00:10:53
>> oh no
00:10:53
>> and he goes and I'm Muslim and he goes
00:10:55
my barber is Jewish and I was and then
00:10:57
he start keep talking I go Jewish barber
00:11:02
>> out of have you ever Jewish barber?
00:11:05
>> Yeah.
00:11:05
>> Is that a thing?
00:11:06
>> Yeah.
00:11:07
>> I mean how what a disappointment for the
00:11:08
family. Does that Jewish barber go to
00:11:10
another an American barber to attack the
00:11:13
Muslim guy?
00:11:16
>> No. But he says, "I'm Muslim." And he
00:11:18
goes, "Well, I'm not a practicing."
00:11:19
>> Yeah.
00:11:19
>> He's like, "I'm not like, you know,
00:11:21
praying five times a day." And then that
00:11:22
logged in my brain for the rest of the
00:11:23
time. I couldn't hear what he said. Five
00:11:25
times is a lot of times
00:11:27
>> a day. He says he prays five times a
00:11:29
day.
00:11:29
>> Not anymore. He c it's exhausting.
00:11:31
>> Yeah.
00:11:31
>> But also, why would they do that? Why
00:11:33
not breakfast, lunch, and dinner? It's
00:11:35
called Fajir, Sunrise, Dur, Assur,
00:11:38
Mghreb, and Issha.
00:11:39
>> But the thing is is that it can be
00:11:41
quick.
00:11:42
>> All right. Do a prayer right now. Go.
00:11:44
>> That's it.
00:11:48
>> I mean,
00:11:49
>> wait, you are facing east. So,
00:11:50
>> yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that how quick
00:11:52
was that prayer?
00:11:52
>> That was really good.
00:11:53
>> And if I did that five times,
00:11:55
>> imagine I mean I mean it's over.
00:11:57
>> If Bobby If Bobby was Muslim
00:12:00
>> Yeah.
00:12:00
>> and had to pray. Yeah.
00:12:02
>> You know the little rug that they have?
00:12:03
>> Oh, yeah. Imagine how he would have the
00:12:06
most like fancy vintage cool rug. He
00:12:09
would have to have the dopest rug out of
00:12:11
all the rugs.
00:12:12
>> It would be the high-end Monontlair rug.
00:12:16
>> It would be a fancy coat. Yeah. Yeah.
00:12:19
>> Is that a Goyard prayer rug?
00:12:21
>> Yeah. It would be the dope.
00:12:22
>> You would have a fancy rug.
00:12:23
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And
00:12:24
different brands though, too. I would do
00:12:26
a Balenciaga a Balenciaga rug. You know
00:12:29
what I mean? just for like a a Friday.
00:12:32
I'm about clubbing, you know what I
00:12:33
mean? I would have a Monontlair one. I
00:12:35
would have a um if Golden Goose had a
00:12:38
rug, that'd be cool.
00:12:38
>> I guarantee you they'd make
00:12:40
>> And then a made one rug where it's like
00:12:41
kind of tattered and looking old school
00:12:44
like,
00:12:45
>> you know what I mean? From like a 50s.
00:12:46
>> It's a vintage.
00:12:47
>> It's a vintage but brand new rug.
00:12:50
>> Let's get you Muslim, dude.
00:12:51
>> Yeah, I'll get Muslim.
00:12:52
>> Sign up. Sign up and go Muslim. Why not?
00:12:54
>> Well, five times is a lot, you know?
00:12:56
It's just a lot of times to stop and
00:12:57
roll out to it's it
00:12:58
>> I would probably go Zoroastriism.
00:13:02
>> There's only like 600 of them on planet
00:13:04
Earth. And I don't know exactly what
00:13:06
they practice, but that seems like what
00:13:08
it's also before Christ.
00:13:11
>> You mean so before Christianity?
00:13:13
>> You mean BC?
00:13:14
>> Yeah, BC. So it's like um I think I
00:13:17
would go with Zoro.
00:13:18
>> That's how cocky Christians are. What
00:13:20
>> they name time before their own time,
00:13:23
but it's still their time.
00:13:24
>> Exactly. BC still is us. You're like,
00:13:26
"Well, Christ not exist yet." Like, I
00:13:27
know, but it's still our time
00:13:28
>> cuz it's always been.
00:13:30
>> That's awesome.
00:13:31
>> I mean, how do you feel about um I think
00:13:32
I'm being affected about the world
00:13:34
around me. What's the war and all that
00:13:36
stuff you know?
00:13:37
>> I was at Marshmallow nightclub last
00:13:39
night.
00:13:40
>> I don't know what's going on in the
00:13:42
world, dude.
00:13:43
>> We went out till 4:30, 5 in the morning.
00:13:45
>> Yeah.
00:13:46
>> Unbeliev What are we doing? We were at
00:13:47
They were like, "You want to go to
00:13:48
Marshmallow?" I was like, I Yeah, I
00:13:50
guess.
00:13:51
>> Yeah. Wow. You went to Marshmallow, huh?
00:13:53
>> I didn't go to that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he
00:13:54
went to his room.
00:13:55
>> I went to Sprinkles.
00:13:56
>> I got cupcakes.
00:13:58
>> You do?
00:14:00
>> Yeah.
00:14:00
>> I see the Sprinkles in San Jose. The
00:14:02
Sprinkles cupcake vending machines.
00:14:03
There's no way they're making money. You
00:14:04
don't want to buy it out of
00:14:05
>> No, no, no. That's How long has it been
00:14:07
in there?
00:14:07
>> It has closed down.
00:14:08
>> Yeah.
00:14:08
>> Oh, it's closed down.
00:14:09
>> They're all closed.
00:14:10
>> LA.
00:14:11
>> But do you buy do you buy um like
00:14:12
headphones from the from the kiosk?
00:14:14
>> So, one time I did have to buy because I
00:14:17
forgot mine on a long trip. So, and I
00:14:19
thought, who's buying it? I was
00:14:21
>> I was a guy. People
00:14:24
And I'm sitting there too and I'm
00:14:25
ashamed. People People passing by like,
00:14:28
"Dude, who buys that? What are you
00:14:29
doing?"
00:14:30
>> But imagine like, you know, like when
00:14:31
you buy a candy bar and it gets stuck,
00:14:33
right? You're like, "It's 60 cents,
00:14:35
right?" But an AirPod,
00:14:36
>> but dude, an AirPod, a Bose, you know
00:14:38
what I mean? AirPods. That's $300.
00:14:40
Imagine that getting stuck and you're
00:14:42
like banging up the [ __ ] machine.
00:14:44
It's $300.
00:14:45
>> You're buying meta glasses and they're
00:14:47
stuck.
00:14:48
>> Imagine. Imagine a kid getting stuck in
00:14:50
there. You know how they do in [ __ ]
00:14:52
those um crawl the machine. The cray
00:14:54
machine.
00:14:54
>> How do they get
00:14:55
>> some nerd is in there? Yeah. Yeah. Some
00:14:56
nerd kid is in there. You know what I
00:14:58
mean?
00:15:01
>> Some sweet little nerd.
00:15:02
>> Yeah. Wow.
00:15:03
>> Wait. So San Jose was good,
00:15:06
>> you know?
00:15:06
>> You love it up there.
00:15:07
>> Well, I mean I played that room for over
00:15:09
20 years and it's like it's very
00:15:10
comfortable. But it's, you know, it's
00:15:11
the same thing where it's like
00:15:13
>> I got to do that place.
00:15:14
>> Yeah. It's a great club.
00:15:15
>> I never done it.
00:15:16
>> Wow.
00:15:17
>> I know. I just never did an improv run.
00:15:19
>> Wow. Oh, it's it's a theater. You'll
00:15:21
love it.
00:15:21
>> No, no, I just mean I've only done a few
00:15:23
improvs. I never really did a bunch of
00:15:24
improvs. Yeah.
00:15:25
>> But you used to do that all the time.
00:15:27
>> I'm I'm an improv guy.
00:15:28
>> But you used to do San Jose like twice a
00:15:30
year
00:15:30
>> sometimes. Yeah.
00:15:31
>> It's crazy.
00:15:32
>> It's a great audience. But um you know
00:15:35
how um I've been going to the comedy
00:15:36
store for so long that when I go in
00:15:39
there, I feel nauseous.
00:15:43
>> Well, what do you mean? Cuz it's I cuz
00:15:45
I've been there so long that it just
00:15:47
kind of makes me want to go this again.
00:15:50
>> What?
00:15:51
>> Yeah. Like there's a nausea that
00:15:52
happens.
00:15:52
>> You're losing the love of the store.
00:15:54
>> No, I I've always loved it, but it's
00:15:55
just like it's like, you know, um going
00:15:58
into your living room.
00:15:59
>> I love my living room.
00:16:00
>> Oh, you do. You don't feel nauseous?
00:16:03
>> Sick in my house.
00:16:04
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:16:05
>> You can experience nausea from visiting
00:16:06
the same place repeatedly due to several
00:16:07
factors and condition responses,
00:16:09
environmental triggers.
00:16:09
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I've had a lot of
00:16:11
trauma at the store back in the day. I I
00:16:13
don't know. There's just something about
00:16:14
that. But but San Jose improv has the
00:16:18
same effect.
00:16:19
>> You get nauseous when you go
00:16:20
>> when I walk into the I just feel
00:16:21
nauseous.
00:16:22
>> Well, that's not good.
00:16:23
>> It's not good. It's just because I've
00:16:24
been going there for so long and it's
00:16:26
just like
00:16:27
>> you should stop then.
00:16:28
>> Well, no. I mean, maybe
00:16:31
I'm day nine not smoking.
00:16:34
>> You guys come on. That's it.
00:16:35
>> That's a huge deal.
00:16:37
>> Day nine is I think they say what's the
00:16:39
day that you stop? What's like the
00:16:40
crest? What day is like you finally get
00:16:42
over the hump of not smoking? It's got
00:16:44
to be like two weeks. You got to be
00:16:46
getting close. I want this for you so
00:16:49
bad. After the first week, okay, so 7 to
00:16:52
10 days is is when you're going to start
00:16:53
to clear up and then two to four weeks,
00:16:55
you're going to be clean, ready to rock
00:16:56
and roll.
00:16:57
>> Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, um maybe that had
00:16:59
something to do with it, but there's
00:17:00
always a kind of a it's it's um
00:17:06
also what bum me out was
00:17:09
so the Friday fur show um you know it's
00:17:12
a theater so it's like I I go to the
00:17:15
balcony and it's empty.
00:17:19
>> What do you mean?
00:17:20
>> No one's there.
00:17:21
>> The show's not on yet?
00:17:22
>> No, it's starting
00:17:24
>> and you're on the B and No one So it's
00:17:25
not sold out upstairs. it. They said
00:17:27
it's all sold out.
00:17:28
>> People buy tickets that don't show up
00:17:30
all the time.
00:17:30
>> I know, but what happened was um this is
00:17:33
a date a year ago. I never just showed
00:17:35
up.
00:17:37
I just didn't show up.
00:17:38
>> You rescheduled it.
00:17:39
>> Yeah. So, it was rescheduled. So, all
00:17:41
the tickets from that
00:17:42
>> ah
00:17:43
>> transferred over this. Right. So, like a
00:17:45
lot of people just didn't show up.
00:17:46
>> Yeah.
00:17:47
>> Right. And I um it bummed me out.
00:17:49
>> I understand. Oh,
00:17:51
>> the co the [ __ ] cookies. Look at the
00:17:53
cookies they little made for me in the
00:17:54
show was really nice. This one's kind of
00:17:57
my favorite. I'm not going to lie.
00:17:58
>> Well, I'll have the one with me on it.
00:17:59
>> You know what's so funny about this
00:18:00
cookie? That's old Bob. Do you notice
00:18:02
that?
00:18:03
>> That's old Bob with long hair. Old Bob.
00:18:04
And I saw a video of you posted on the
00:18:06
internet with old hair. Old Bob hair.
00:18:08
>> Yeah.
00:18:09
>> And it made me miss the long hair.
00:18:10
>> I'm growing it up.
00:18:11
>> You have to.
00:18:11
>> I am.
00:18:12
>> Cuz I love when you have long hair.
00:18:13
>> I I am. I'm growing up
00:18:15
>> cuz old bob hair. I like that when it
00:18:17
was that long. Like
00:18:18
>> Oh, it's Oh, it's going to be long.
00:18:19
>> There's videos when we first started
00:18:20
this podcast.
00:18:21
>> Yeah.
00:18:21
>> Your hair was insane. Your hair was
00:18:23
insane.
00:18:24
>> I know. You know who didn't get high
00:18:25
this weekend? Carlos. He was a good boy
00:18:26
in Vegas, no less.
00:18:28
>> He does it behind your back.
00:18:29
>> No, he doesn't. He does.
00:18:30
>> I smoked weed. Remember I told you I was
00:18:31
vaping it in the room.
00:18:35
>> You were? Yeah, I told you. You said
00:18:36
you're not doing anything.
00:18:38
>> What kind of boss are you, dude?
00:18:40
>> Well, not a good one.
00:18:41
>> Yeah, you're right. Right behind your
00:18:42
back. He even says it to you and you
00:18:43
don't even [ __ ] listen.
00:18:44
>> Well, I'm a great boss.
00:18:46
>> No, you're not a great boss.
00:18:47
>> NO, I'M A GOOD BOSS.
00:18:48
>> NO, you're not a good boss, DUDE. HE'S
00:18:49
LIKE A GOOD BOSS. Your your employee
00:18:51
goes, "Hey, hey, boss. I'm smoking weed
00:18:53
right in front of your face.
00:18:54
>> Yeah.
00:18:55
>> And you're like, "He didn't do any drug
00:18:56
this weekend." Yeah. Yeah.
00:18:57
>> You'd be a bad dad, dude.
00:18:58
>> I'm trying to I would not be a bad
00:19:00
>> Yeah. You're a bad dad, dude.
00:19:01
>> Oh, you know why? Because I'm cool.
00:19:02
Okay, I'm You know what?
00:19:03
>> I know. Here's here's the problem.
00:19:05
Here's the problem.
00:19:06
>> Yeah.
00:19:07
>> When he vapes, I don't know if it's weed
00:19:09
or if it's vape.
00:19:10
>> He just said he told you you he was
00:19:12
doing it.
00:19:13
>> I was not paying attention. I WAS BUSY.
00:19:16
>> WAIT, WAIT. How did you say it?
00:19:18
>> I'm Andrew. Now, look at me.
00:19:20
>> Look at me. Right. Okay.
00:19:21
>> And what is Andrew doing?
00:19:22
>> Andrew goes, "You're being a good boy,
00:19:24
right?" And I go, "Oh, yeah. Okay. Let
00:19:25
me You're being a good boy, right?"
00:19:27
>> He goes, "Uh, no." I forget what else he
00:19:29
says, but I go, "Let me just say it the
00:19:30
way you
00:19:31
>> Okay.
00:19:31
>> Who cares what he says?
00:19:32
>> Let him play the scene."
00:19:33
>> Yeah. Yeah. Let me play the scene,
00:19:34
right?
00:19:34
>> All right. You're Andrew.
00:19:35
>> Yeah. Yeah. You're being a good boy,
00:19:37
huh?
00:19:37
>> Your your lip is bleeding.
00:19:39
>> Oh.
00:19:41
>> Yeah. Put some blood on your lip.
00:19:43
>> Yeah.
00:19:43
>> It's fine. Go.
00:19:44
>> No. I I need blood.
00:19:46
>> You got it. See, he This is
00:19:47
>> I need
00:19:48
>> An actor prepares.
00:19:49
>> Yeah. Yeah. I need
00:19:50
>> An actor prepares. Isn't there some red
00:19:51
there?
00:19:53
>> Yeah.
00:19:59
>> You're being a good boy, huh?
00:20:01
>> No, I'm just vaping weed. Don't worry
00:20:03
about it.
00:20:05
>> That's what you did.
00:20:06
>> I was worried about my show. I was
00:20:07
thinking about the set.
00:20:08
>> What did I really say when you told me
00:20:10
you were vaping?
00:20:11
>> You said that that was worse than
00:20:12
smoking joints.
00:20:14
>> Yeah, it is. What's in those [ __ ]
00:20:16
things?
00:20:16
>> Oh, so then you did know. You're being
00:20:18
So, you lied to me. No, I just forgot.
00:20:22
>> Ziotics.
00:20:23
>> You know, sometimes I like to go out,
00:20:24
have a couple of sodas responsibly. I'm
00:20:26
an adult, but when I drink, alcohol gets
00:20:28
converted into a toxic byproduct in the
00:20:30
gut. And I'm telling you, the buildup of
00:20:31
this, it's not dehydration. It's this
00:20:33
buildup that's to blame for those rough
00:20:34
days after nights drinking at the bar.
00:20:37
And you got to take Ziotics. You know,
00:20:39
remember to take pre-alcohol, your first
00:20:40
drink of the night. Drink responsibly,
00:20:42
and you're going to feel so good
00:20:43
tomorrow. I always feel so much better
00:20:44
when I take this before I have a couple
00:20:46
uh a couple of fun nights out. Okay? and
00:20:49
you will too. It uh makes your recovery
00:20:52
so much easier and faster versus just
00:20:53
chugging water and drinking uh soup all
00:20:56
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00:20:58
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00:20:59
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00:21:01
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00:21:03
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00:21:05
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00:21:07
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00:21:09
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00:21:11
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>> I'm like at the San Jose Improv, right?
00:24:05
They have a security guy that walks me
00:24:07
to my hotel and I'm like I
00:24:11
stop.
00:24:12
>> Yeah, but they do that for they do
00:24:13
>> I don't need I know where to go.
00:24:15
>> Yeah, but you're easily attackable.
00:24:17
>> No, dude.
00:24:18
>> People attack you all the time. But but
00:24:20
before like the other rest of the day
00:24:23
>> you're free.
00:24:24
>> I'm just walking around alone in the
00:24:26
same areas and stuff like that. Why in
00:24:28
this specific incident?
00:24:29
>> Because you're under their toutelage
00:24:31
right there. You're under there they if
00:24:32
you got hurt it'd be on them during that
00:24:34
when they're done with you.
00:24:34
>> I think once I get out of the club it's
00:24:36
free.
00:24:37
>> I agree.
00:24:37
>> Yeah. Yeah. I think it's like you know
00:24:39
what I mean? Our responsibility is over.
00:24:40
>> You like it?
00:24:41
>> I I don't cuz I always tell him like you
00:24:43
please just stay here.
00:24:45
>> But he does like to um smoke. Back in
00:24:47
the day, he would smoke behind the
00:24:49
security guard and walk and very like
00:24:50
like gallivant behind the security and
00:24:52
like dart his noise. I did it. You never
00:24:54
sultry. Yeah, you did. When we were on
00:24:56
tour, you'd be walking behind the
00:24:58
security and you do this. You'd be like
00:24:59
sexually smoking.
00:25:00
>> No, you never SEE ME DO THAT.
00:25:02
>> YES, YOU WOULD.
00:25:02
>> YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF.
00:25:04
>> EVERYONE'S NODDING. EVERYONE'S [ __ ]
00:25:05
NODDING.
00:25:06
>> YOU You're pissing me off. I've never
00:25:07
done that.
00:25:08
>> You would romantic.
00:25:10
Okay, dude. I've never done this.
00:25:12
>> That's not the face. No, don't do
00:25:14
>> All right. What are you doing? No, you
00:25:16
you would like cool like very
00:25:18
>> but I I'm you're you're doing this with
00:25:19
your hand.
00:25:20
>> You do when you walk with No, I don't.
00:25:21
Do I Do I
00:25:22
>> When you walk with your cigarette, you
00:25:23
kind of bob a little bit when you walk
00:25:25
and then you'll smoke and then your eyes
00:25:26
will be darting all romantic.
00:25:28
>> I'm listening to the Doobie Brothers or
00:25:29
something. No, you're not.
00:25:30
>> Yeah. Yeah. I bop, dude. I bop when I
00:25:32
listen to the Doobie Brothers.
00:25:33
>> You're dooop.
00:25:35
>> Listen to the music,
00:25:38
>> dude. So, it's like I'm doobie
00:25:39
brothering it.
00:25:40
>> It's romantic, though.
00:25:41
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like And I
00:25:42
don't know if that's a security guard.
00:25:43
You're saying that behind the security
00:25:45
guard. I'm doobie brother.
00:25:46
>> You would dub brother.
00:25:47
>> All right. Okay.
00:25:49
>> So, anyway, I took mushrooms last night.
00:25:51
>> Can you put that in?
00:25:52
>> I Yeah, I felt amazing. It was
00:25:54
>> When was the last time you took
00:25:55
mushrooms?
00:25:57
>> Couple weeks ago.
00:25:58
>> Oh, but was it a more of a dosage?
00:26:01
>> This one was higher.
00:26:02
>> Yeah, much higher.
00:26:03
>> Yeah, because I've been micro doing.
00:26:04
>> Oh, you've been ming for my mental
00:26:06
health. I'm genuinely happy.
00:26:07
>> And I I heard it helps.
00:26:09
>> Uh I do feel much better at night.
00:26:12
>> Yeah. When I micro dose, I do feel like
00:26:14
the end of the day, I don't have as much
00:26:15
anxiety before I go to bed because I
00:26:17
used to lay in wake in bed at night.
00:26:18
>> I haven't come 3 weeks.
00:26:20
>> Start micro doing, dude.
00:26:22
>> Yeah. Yeah. Because of Alexa Pro.
00:26:23
>> Wait, really?
00:26:24
>> Yeah.
00:26:24
>> So, you can't nut?
00:26:25
>> I can't cut.
00:26:26
>> What comes out?
00:26:27
>> I can't nut. Nothing. I mean, I haven't
00:26:29
even tried.
00:26:31
>> Really?
00:26:32
>> Yeah. It's weird.
00:26:34
>> Do they they have something to combat
00:26:35
that? They do. No. One, two, three.
00:26:38
Blue.
00:26:41
Now, blue two gold.
00:26:43
Yeah. An oxin and molo.
00:26:47
It's the main ingredient. Anoxin.
00:26:50
>> The two ones that I can't say.
00:26:52
>> No, I did. And I watched I watched my
00:26:54
cousin play roulette. Uh, and I was
00:26:56
feeling fantastic.
00:26:56
>> Oh, your cousin was there.
00:26:57
>> Yeah.
00:26:58
>> Was he juicing too or what?
00:26:59
>> He was having a great time.
00:27:00
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:01
>> He is.
00:27:02
>> He's so funny.
00:27:03
>> But then when I was using in Mexico, we
00:27:06
weren't doing that.
00:27:07
>> Oh, yeah.
00:27:08
>> Who? You and I. We were not having a
00:27:10
good time when you were using in Mexico
00:27:11
because
00:27:11
>> Yeah, but because why is it not like why
00:27:13
couldn't we have those
00:27:14
>> because you're a drug addict and you
00:27:15
have no control
00:27:17
>> because you you you don't use until you
00:27:19
get high and feel good. You use until
00:27:21
it's uh unmanageable, till there's poop
00:27:23
on the walls and you're screaming and
00:27:25
you're pointing in my face in front of
00:27:28
people going, "You [ __ ] lied. This is
00:27:30
this has no booze in it. You [ __ ]
00:27:31
liar in front of everyone."
00:27:34
>> You know who I am? You I mean I'm I'm uh
00:27:35
I'm Ren from Ren and Stimpy.
00:27:38
>> Yep. Yeah, you are.
00:27:39
>> Yeah. Is Stimpy the dog? Ren's the dog,
00:27:41
right?
00:27:41
>> Ren's a little weird dog.
00:27:42
>> Yeah. Yeah. I'm Because I love Ren
00:27:44
because Ren's so paranoid.
00:27:46
>> Yeah, that's Yeah.
00:27:47
>> You know what I mean? And he gets in
00:27:48
people's faces and he has these
00:27:49
delusions, you know what I mean?
00:27:51
>> And I I love that character.
00:27:53
>> Somehow you're both of these guys.
00:27:55
>> I think so. I think I am random and
00:27:56
simp.
00:27:58
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:59
>> But I love that cartoon. But anyway, um
00:28:01
yeah, I I ran out when I I'm like
00:28:03
>> It's just when you you're up you're up
00:28:05
to something.
00:28:05
>> No. And then you pointed in my face and
00:28:07
yelled at me in front of everyone
00:28:08
because you wanted booze and I lied to
00:28:09
you and I got you.
00:28:10
>> Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm no dumb dumb.
00:28:13
>> I know what you're doing.
00:28:14
>> But you were so [ __ ] up.
00:28:15
>> I know. But I know what you're doing.
00:28:16
>> Well, protecting you.
00:28:18
>> Yeah. Yeah. But I can I'll just get my
00:28:19
own drink.
00:28:20
>> I mean, you flew to Mexico with a
00:28:21
suitcase full of
00:28:22
>> full of drugs. Filled of drugs. You open
00:28:25
your suitcase
00:28:25
>> and I guess what? I flew back with no
00:28:27
drugs.
00:28:28
>> Yes.
00:28:28
>> Yeah. Because of us.
00:28:30
>> No, I did it all.
00:28:32
>> Okay.
00:28:33
>> Okay.
00:28:33
>> You're right.
00:28:34
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's called magic.
00:28:36
>> That is called magic
00:28:37
>> in a weird way. Okay. So, it's like But
00:28:41
we never had that. When next time I go
00:28:43
out.
00:28:44
>> No, you're not going.
00:28:44
>> Yeah. Yeah. No. No. Shut the [ __ ] up.
00:28:46
All right. I'm tired of this [ __ ]
00:28:47
[ __ ] I'm boss, too.
00:28:49
>> All right.
00:28:50
>> You're boss number two.
00:28:52
>> Yeah. I'm like the vice president.
00:28:53
>> Yeah.
00:28:54
>> I'm JD Vance.
00:28:56
>> You kind of are.
00:28:56
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:28:57
>> A little fancy.
00:28:58
>> Yeah. You know,
00:28:59
>> you're not going to go out.
00:29:00
>> What I'm saying is the next time I go
00:29:02
out, you know what I mean? God forbid it
00:29:03
doesn't happen, right? I want a night I
00:29:06
want to go to Marshmallow.
00:29:07
>> Okay.
00:29:08
>> You can go to Marshmallow without using
00:29:09
>> No, no. No. I want to go to Marshmallow.
00:29:11
I want to be on Shrooms. I want to be on
00:29:12
Ketamine. You know what I mean? I want
00:29:14
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want to go to
00:29:15
Vegas. I want to be able to like walk
00:29:17
out of a [ __ ] bathroom and go. Are
00:29:19
you okay?
00:29:22
>> You know what I mean? But actually have
00:29:24
cocaine in my nose.
00:29:25
>> No.
00:29:25
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want that next time.
00:29:28
It's never going to happen, but
00:29:30
hypothetically it could. And what I'm
00:29:32
saying is is that the next time don't
00:29:33
cut me out.
00:29:35
>> I won't.
00:29:35
>> Cuz the last time I went out, you cut me
00:29:37
out. You were all being parental.
00:29:39
>> Yeah, cuz you were you were
00:29:40
>> It doesn't matter. No, I want good
00:29:42
times.
00:29:42
>> Carlos. Carlos.
00:29:44
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:29:44
>> Oh, so you're mad that we were
00:29:46
protecting you.
00:29:46
>> I don't want to be protected, dude. I
00:29:48
No, I want to go to Marshmallow, you
00:29:50
know. I mean, I want to go out with
00:29:51
Andreas, you know what I mean? And have
00:29:53
those times.
00:29:53
>> We can do it without alcohol.
00:29:55
>> No, no, no. Next time. No, we can't have
00:29:57
those times because I'm all [ __ ]
00:29:58
Christian on the road now. You're not
00:30:00
Christian on the
00:30:01
>> Yeah. Yeah. But I'm like I'm going to
00:30:02
bed now.
00:30:03
>> Yeah, but we did that too. I do that.
00:30:05
>> I know you eventually did, but like I do
00:30:06
it at like 11.
00:30:08
>> Yeah.
00:30:09
>> You know, so my point being is is that
00:30:11
you know you guys can have your all your
00:30:13
Vegas night life and still and I I get
00:30:15
cut out when I'm out.
00:30:17
>> Well, it's cuz you can't because you're
00:30:19
>> Yes, I can.
00:30:19
>> You're a drug addict.
00:30:21
>> It's a label and I refuse to believe it.
00:30:24
>> I know I am one.
00:30:25
>> You are.
00:30:26
>> I am. And I
00:30:27
>> He is.
00:30:27
>> Yeah,
00:30:28
>> I know. But he's not. But why is he
00:30:29
okay?
00:30:30
>> He's He's not okay. We're very control.
00:30:32
>> I KNOW. BUT THEN WHY WHEN I WHEN I
00:30:33
wasn't okay?
00:30:35
>> Because we care more about you than
00:30:37
Carlos.
00:30:38
>> Cuz you make more money.
00:30:39
>> That's the way the world works. You're
00:30:41
famous. You're worth more in this world.
00:30:42
>> Oh, so if you passed away from an
00:30:44
overdose?
00:30:45
>> No. If I like made a movie, all of a
00:30:47
sudden y'all would like talk to me more
00:30:49
probably and care more about my health.
00:30:51
>> I talk to you every day. I should have
00:30:53
said more about this bit is so stupid.
00:30:55
We care about all of you equally.
00:30:57
difference is you have control of your
00:30:58
addiction right now.
00:30:59
>> He does not.
00:31:00
>> I know, but
00:31:01
>> but I can't do anything. What do you
00:31:02
want me to do with him?
00:31:04
>> Fire him?
00:31:05
>> Should we fire him?
00:31:07
>> Maybe. Maybe when he's like, you know
00:31:08
what I mean? Hey, hey, Dad.
00:31:11
>> I'm smoking weed right in front of you.
00:31:12
>> That's not bad though to just smoke
00:31:14
weed. If I'm just smoking weed, that's
00:31:16
so chill. That's like going to war and
00:31:18
just like showing up for a day with a
00:31:19
gun.
00:31:20
>> Or you're like just outside of Car
00:31:21
Island.
00:31:22
>> Yeah. I It's
00:31:23
>> You're You're on a ship. You're a man.
00:31:25
>> Yeah. Just
00:31:26
>> you don't know if you're going to attack
00:31:27
Car Island yet.
00:31:29
>> Is that what it is?
00:31:30
>> I don't know what Car Island is.
00:31:32
>> Do you know what Car Island is? Oh, it's
00:31:35
an island right there. That
00:31:36
>> one of your Antarctica theories.
00:31:38
>> No, it's not a theory.
00:31:40
>> It's an Iranian island. You mean they
00:31:43
have, you know what I mean? Um, oil
00:31:44
reserves there and and
00:31:46
>> Tik Tok is full of
00:31:47
>> You've been You've been watching so
00:31:49
much.
00:31:50
>> Like, I know how much Iran stuff you've
00:31:53
been looking at now. It's all day every
00:31:55
day. I know. 24 hours a day. I mean, you
00:31:57
understand what I was saying before.
00:31:58
>> You have to stop.
00:31:59
>> Is there a Car Island?
00:32:00
>> Yes.
00:32:01
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And what's on
00:32:02
Car Island?
00:32:03
>> Probably oil reserves.
00:32:04
>> Godzilla.
00:32:05
>> Yeah. A bunch of sand.
00:32:06
>> Yeah. Oh my god. Now he's being [ __ ]
00:32:08
racist.
00:32:09
>> Stop.
00:32:10
>> That's not racist.
00:32:10
>> THERE'S MORE SAND. EVERYWHERE HAS SAND.
00:32:13
>> OKAY.
00:32:15
>> There's oil reserves.
00:32:16
>> Exactly. That's what I just said.
00:32:17
>> Target Island is a 7.7 square mile coral
00:32:20
island in the Persian Gulf that serves
00:32:21
as Iran's primary oil export terminal.
00:32:24
>> Right. And and and there's now like
00:32:26
questions if the US Marines are going to
00:32:30
charge Car Island, take control of it,
00:32:32
>> dude. So good. David Atenboroough has
00:32:34
the Marines chomp,
00:32:37
you know.
00:32:37
>> Yeah. I mean, I'm sorry. I'm consumed
00:32:40
about the war.
00:32:41
>> Why? You're not a soldier.
00:32:43
>> I'm an American citizen. I just paid
00:32:46
$130 at the pump.
00:32:48
>> Okay.
00:32:48
>> And I and I drive a moped.
00:32:51
>> That's a lot, dude.
00:32:53
All right. Very fair.
00:32:54
>> I drive a moped.
00:32:55
>> Was that how much gas was? $130 to fill
00:32:57
up your tank.
00:32:58
>> No, it was like 80 something. But I
00:32:59
usually pay
00:33:00
>> $80.
00:33:01
>> Yeah, but I used only pay and that's my
00:33:03
my small car. $55. $50.
00:33:05
>> Do you do the cheap gas?
00:33:07
>> No, I do the Supreme.
00:33:08
>> Good.
00:33:08
>> What does that mean?
00:33:09
>> That's actually a really good question.
00:33:10
>> Yeah. Well, I mean I I never knew. Can
00:33:12
you explain to me the three different
00:33:14
unled unleted premium and then Supreme?
00:33:17
Can you
00:33:17
>> Cool cars get the fancy one and the
00:33:19
shitty one?
00:33:20
>> It's like air water. Oh, it is. No, tell
00:33:23
tell me the difference cuz I don't know.
00:33:25
>> So, I will tell you.
00:33:25
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:33:26
>> So, a combustion engine, right?
00:33:28
>> Well, explain that.
00:33:29
>> Let's start with a car.
00:33:36
>> So, a car.
00:33:37
>> Start with a car. Start with a car.
00:33:38
>> Beep beep.
00:33:38
>> Yeah.
00:33:39
>> Vroom vroom.
00:33:39
>> Oh, okay. Beep beep vroom vroom. Okay.
00:33:41
Hold on.
00:33:42
>> So, a combustion engine, right? Little
00:33:44
explosions have to take place within
00:33:46
these pistons, right? And these pistons
00:33:48
that are in your car that fire that make
00:33:49
it go fast and have have torque, right,
00:33:52
and have power and drive.
00:33:53
>> Yeah.
00:33:54
>> Higher octane, right? The higher octane
00:33:56
numbers, they fire at a cleaner and
00:33:59
faster rate. So faster, nicer cars like
00:34:01
F1. They need highest octane levels.
00:34:04
>> So they do Supreme,
00:34:05
>> they do their own. They have a different
00:34:07
octane. They have octane that we can't
00:34:08
get. F1 gas.
00:34:09
>> How do we I need that?
00:34:11
>> How did we get that?
00:34:12
>> I don't think your moped can handle
00:34:14
that.
00:34:15
>> It can. No.
00:34:16
>> Oh, all right. All right.
00:34:17
>> I doubt it.
00:34:18
>> Yeah.
00:34:18
>> No, but it's higher octane gas. It burns
00:34:20
cleaner and it fires. It fires cleaner
00:34:21
and it's al cleaner for the engine.
00:34:23
Higher octane, but it's more expensive.
00:34:25
>> But that's what it is.
00:34:27
>> That's essentially why people do that.
00:34:29
>> All right. So,
00:34:30
>> but people who have like a just a luxury
00:34:33
car like say someone has a BMW,
00:34:35
>> okay,
00:34:36
>> and just a regular BMW and they put in
00:34:38
the most expensive, highest octane,
00:34:41
>> it's meaningless. they should just put
00:34:43
him. The only reason you would need a
00:34:45
higher octane level in your car is if
00:34:46
your engine requires a a higher minimum
00:34:51
because of the performance of the
00:34:52
engine. So performance cars need them.
00:34:54
>> So in when my my Hyundai,
00:34:57
>> you know what I mean?
00:34:57
>> Your moped
00:34:58
>> in my moped, right?
00:35:00
>> I put Supreme in, right? Just thinking
00:35:02
that it's better for the engine or
00:35:05
whatever. It's pointless.
00:35:06
>> No, it is hypothetically better for the
00:35:08
engine. It's going to burn cleaner.
00:35:09
Well, don't then Well, then that I'll
00:35:11
just keep doing that.
00:35:12
>> But it's not going to make your engine
00:35:13
any It's not going to make your your
00:35:14
It's not going to make your moped go
00:35:15
faster.
00:35:16
>> I I'm not trying to go vroom v room v
00:35:17
room v room v room v room v room v room
00:35:17
v room v room v room.
00:35:17
>> So So then put in the cheapest.
00:35:19
>> Yeah, but I want my engine to be
00:35:20
healthy.
00:35:21
>> It's not even your car.
00:35:22
>> Oh, that's right.
00:35:23
>> Yeah, you're going to give it back.
00:35:24
>> I am giving it back.
00:35:25
>> Yeah, don't do that. Who cares if it's a
00:35:26
lease, by the way, to every American. If
00:35:27
it's a lease, [ __ ] put the shittiest
00:35:29
gas in there you can find. Go to
00:35:30
Sinclair where the dinosaur is where
00:35:32
it's like $186. Real [ __ ]
00:35:35
>> I go to the tarpets.
00:35:38
>> I scoop it. I scoop it. I stick it in
00:35:40
the
00:35:40
>> manually do it.
00:35:41
>> Yeah, I manually do it.
00:35:44
>> This is the funniest thing about the
00:35:45
cookies that I'm ging on because they're
00:35:47
delicious. Yeah.
00:35:47
>> Is they were like doing shout out to,
00:35:49
you know, they did white noise cookie,
00:35:50
the whiskey ginger, they did bad.
00:35:52
>> Yeah, but you did the John Cena movie.
00:35:54
>> What do you mean? We're never going to
00:35:55
be cool leads in a thing.
00:35:57
>> Yeah, but people think that you're cool
00:35:58
already.
00:36:00
>> Whom?
00:36:02
>> I'm sorry. When you were in Vegas, did
00:36:04
no one come up to your show up to your
00:36:06
show and buy a ticket? Well, Carlos can
00:36:08
actually tell you unfortunately nobody
00:36:09
came.
00:36:11
>> [ __ ] bummer, man.
00:36:12
>> Yeah, it was a huge
00:36:13
>> Oh, it was a bummer. Yeah.
00:36:14
>> Oh, my bad.
00:36:14
>> We went out for a nice little fancy
00:36:16
dinner.
00:36:16
>> We had a great little dinner.
00:36:18
>> Carlos paid the bill.
00:36:21
>> That's unbelievable.
00:36:22
>> He paid the bill
00:36:23
>> through my tour money.
00:36:24
>> You haven't paid me yet.
00:36:28
>> We haven't even started
00:36:29
>> through my tour tour money.
00:36:31
>> Yeah, we You haven't paid me yet.
00:36:32
>> But but your f future tour money.
00:36:34
>> I paid him. Hey, my my future tumor.
00:36:37
>> I paid Delilah with future money.
00:36:38
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That which is my
00:36:40
money.
00:36:40
>> Yeah. I said Bobby will pay you in four
00:36:41
months.
00:36:42
>> Yeah. Yeah. So I pay for your dinner.
00:36:43
>> Hey.
00:36:43
>> Yeah.
00:36:44
>> You know he didn't pay for the dinner.
00:36:46
>> You know damn well.
00:36:48
>> In fact, I don't think any of them have
00:36:50
paid for the dinner.
00:36:50
>> I have paid for dinner before.
00:36:52
>> Which one?
00:36:53
>> Wait a minute. Time out. Before you get
00:36:54
it, what are you raising your hand for?
00:36:55
When have you paid for a dinner?
00:36:57
>> I paid for our breakfast one time.
00:36:59
>> When?
00:36:59
>> When? I was over there at the white
00:37:02
place with the with the uh with the with
00:37:04
the weird square.
00:37:05
>> Oh, you and him. Was it a cool clan
00:37:07
rally? What? What?
00:37:08
>> No, we we
00:37:09
>> I definitely wasn't there with the white
00:37:11
hoods and the white faces. Yeah. I mean,
00:37:13
where'd you go?
00:37:14
>> Let's get ginger one day.
00:37:15
>> But cuz I didn't have my wallet or
00:37:16
something.
00:37:16
>> No, you were like, "You're paying
00:37:17
today." I said, "Okay."
00:37:19
>> Oh, okay. Good. That's good. Good. Have
00:37:21
you ever paid a meal for me?
00:37:23
>> We don't We've We've gone We've gotten
00:37:25
food together once.
00:37:26
>> That's so not true. Just me and you
00:37:28
together.
00:37:29
>> Which one? Where was it?
00:37:30
>> It was We You took me to sushi around my
00:37:32
birthday.
00:37:33
>> Where was it?
00:37:34
>> And then we went to see the Mission
00:37:35
Impossible.
00:37:36
>> That's right. We've done stuff together.
00:37:38
>> I know. That was one thing.
00:37:39
>> One time.
00:37:39
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:37:39
>> Yeah. It was one time.
00:37:40
>> But a great one.
00:37:41
>> Oh, no. It was great. But yeah, of
00:37:42
course.
00:37:42
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't do like little
00:37:44
like, you know, I mean, white hats,
00:37:45
white face, you know what I mean?
00:37:47
Breakfast places.
00:37:47
>> We don't do that at breakfast.
00:37:49
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think you do a nice
00:37:50
sushi restaurant in a [ __ ] fine ass
00:37:53
movie tickets, right? You I don't do
00:37:55
white face, white head. You know what I
00:37:56
mean?
00:37:57
Yeah. So, it's like
00:37:58
>> Did you just fart?
00:37:59
>> No, it was it was it was a
00:38:02
>> But yeah. Um, so you've car Andreas,
00:38:05
have you ever paid for a meal?
00:38:08
>> I don't think so. I don't think we ever
00:38:09
been to a meal together.
00:38:12
>> Well, as bad we have.
00:38:14
>> As a group, we have a group. Yes.
00:38:15
>> Yeah. Yeah. You don't think? Yeah.
00:38:16
Oneonone we've never had a meal
00:38:18
together.
00:38:18
>> No, I don't think we have that kind of
00:38:20
relationship.
00:38:20
>> Yeah.
00:38:22
>> He's just too cool for us now. He's got
00:38:24
a kid.
00:38:24
>> Yeah.
00:38:25
>> Yeah.
00:38:26
>> He's over it.
00:38:28
kind of makes me mad.
00:38:31
It's just that whole thing.
00:38:33
You know, I'll be I'll be honest. I
00:38:34
think it's on you.
00:38:35
>> No.
00:38:36
>> Yeah. There's no
00:38:38
You know, I call you a lot. You know
00:38:41
what I mean? You only text me. I call
00:38:43
you a lot. You only text me. I think
00:38:47
it's you.
00:38:47
>> I know that's not true, but I'm just
00:38:49
going
00:38:49
>> No, no, that really is. I call him a
00:38:51
lot.
00:38:51
>> About what?
00:38:52
>> Yeah. About what?
00:38:53
>> Do I not call you?
00:38:54
>> What's it about?
00:38:54
>> You have called me, but about what? What
00:38:56
do you want to Why are you interested in
00:38:58
me?
00:38:59
>> Um,
00:39:00
>> what are you, a girl?
00:39:02
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:39:03
>> Why do you like me, Bobby?
00:39:04
>> Tell me why you like
00:39:05
>> Happy birthday
00:39:07
>> text.
00:39:08
>> Oh, that was a text. Yeah. Yeah. Um, you
00:39:11
mean What time is Bad Friends?
00:39:13
>> Yes. Yeah. What time is Bad Friend?
00:39:14
>> Yeah. And then,
00:39:15
>> but you have to read behind the context
00:39:17
of it.
00:39:18
>> He's saying more than just what time.
00:39:19
>> Yeah. Scramble the words.
00:39:20
>> He forced me to say I love you in front
00:39:22
of his friends.
00:39:23
>> Yeah.
00:39:24
>> You should say I love you more. I mean,
00:39:25
these are the things I'm talking about,
00:39:27
dude. It's like there's more resistance
00:39:29
when it comes to you than me.
00:39:30
>> Cuz he has a lot of repression. Fancy
00:39:32
has a lot of repression.
00:39:33
>> Yeah. Repressed feelings, you know.
00:39:34
>> He gets really uncomfortable.
00:39:35
>> And then when he got drunk, he got
00:39:36
really touchy feely with me.
00:39:38
>> Yeah.
00:39:39
>> Did you not?
00:39:40
>> Mhm.
00:39:40
>> And that's when your real self comes.
00:39:42
Well, the defense goes down.
00:39:44
>> Yeah.
00:39:44
>> And this is how I really feel.
00:39:46
>> Well, I'll tell you, he wants to be a
00:39:47
star now cuz I pitched a little show
00:39:49
about me and him going to like a local
00:39:51
bar.
00:39:51
>> To me, like showing him what a local
00:39:53
watering hole is like.
00:39:54
>> Yeah. And literally the other day after
00:39:55
the episode, he's like, "Andrew,
00:39:56
>> when when are we going to do this show
00:39:58
where you and I go to Dear?"
00:40:00
>> And whose name goes first?
00:40:01
>> Whose name is on top? He literally he
00:40:03
wants to headline the show.
00:40:04
>> Wow.
00:40:05
>> And by the way, that only reminds me MCO
00:40:07
that breakfast.
00:40:09
>> That reminds me.
00:40:11
>> Yeah.
00:40:11
>> This is the funniest part. I know that I
00:40:13
did that to you just to tease you, you
00:40:15
know, just to be like, "Oh, you pay this
00:40:16
time." But I also know that stayed with
00:40:19
you for a while.
00:40:20
>> You've been thinking about it.
00:40:21
>> Yeah. How much was it? No, I was like,
00:40:23
"No." How much was it?
00:40:24
>> Like $30.
00:40:25
>> No, it wasn't much. But I was also It's
00:40:27
way more than I would have spent on
00:40:28
breakfast, but I was like, "It's this is
00:40:30
good."
00:40:30
>> Can you talk to the mic?
00:40:32
>> I was also like, "This is a good this is
00:40:33
a good thing."
00:40:34
>> Why is it a good thing?
00:40:35
>> Because I cuz I get so much. It's nice
00:40:37
to pay some back.
00:40:38
>> Oh, I see.
00:40:38
>> Cuz he walks around like this all day.
00:40:40
>> I know.
00:40:41
>> Have I not given you cash before?
00:40:43
>> Yeah, you constantly give me
00:40:44
>> Yeah, but you can't get me a breakfast.
00:40:46
>> I If you want to go out for breakfast.
00:40:48
Yeah, sure.
00:40:48
>> He does not want to go out for
00:40:49
breakfast.
00:40:50
actually texted me the other day out of
00:40:52
the blue.
00:40:52
>> What' it say?
00:40:53
>> He said, "Uh, Marty Supreme is a film of
00:40:56
two halves."
00:40:57
>> That's true.
00:40:58
>> Yeah,
00:40:58
>> that's actually a very true statement.
00:41:01
>> What?
00:41:01
>> This is the New York Times.
00:41:03
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:41:04
>> He's a critic.
00:41:06
>> No, I I mean, I watched the I watched
00:41:07
the I mean, can I have not my own
00:41:10
opinion about the movie?
00:41:11
>> It is a film of two.
00:41:12
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I I thought that the
00:41:14
first half of the movie, right, was like
00:41:16
brilliant. It was
00:41:18
>> I thought the setup was good and then I
00:41:20
think it just ran away from itself. It
00:41:23
became something else like there was a
00:41:26
lot editing that needed to be go on or
00:41:28
whatever.
00:41:28
>> Like get to the thing.
00:41:29
>> There was a lot of other movies
00:41:31
>> other movies in there and it just I I
00:41:33
got lost in it and you know at the end
00:41:35
of the day good movie but you know I
00:41:38
mean it doesn't deserve any awards in my
00:41:40
opinion.
00:41:42
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00:41:44
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>> I think the coolest thing is that Sean
00:44:25
Penn got award and didn't show up last
00:44:26
Yeah, he was in Ukraine.
00:44:28
>> He gave it to Zillinski.
00:44:29
>> Zinski, I love that.
00:44:30
>> He gave him his Oscar and he carried it
00:44:32
in like a Jan Sport backpack.
00:44:34
>> Yeah, that's amazing.
00:44:34
>> Bubble wrapped. I thought that was like
00:44:36
the funniest. It's funny to take
00:44:37
something that so many people cherish
00:44:39
dear and throw it in like a trapper
00:44:41
keeper and give it to a [ __ ] Look at
00:44:43
that.
00:44:44
>> Show the video of him pulling out of a
00:44:45
backpack. It's hilar.
00:44:46
>> It's like FIFA giving a um FIFA Nobel
00:44:48
Peace Prize to [ __ ] Trump.
00:44:51
>> Remember that?
00:44:51
>> Yeah. some makebelieve thing that they
00:44:55
have never done before.
00:44:58
Sean Penn has a that there's a vibe
00:45:00
about him that I kind of believe.
00:45:03
>> Yeah,
00:45:03
>> I believe everything he is. I think he
00:45:06
is extremely him. I don't think
00:45:08
>> Yeah. I I I I I don't think that during
00:45:11
um hurricane um Katrina
00:45:13
>> when he was diving into New Orleans and
00:45:15
trying to save people was
00:45:16
>> he loves that [ __ ]
00:45:17
>> I think he was really trying to save
00:45:18
lives.
00:45:19
>> I think he loves that [ __ ]
00:45:20
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're saying it's not
00:45:21
performative with him?
00:45:21
>> I don't think it's performative with
00:45:22
him. You know what I mean? I think it's
00:45:23
just there's something's wrong.
00:45:26
>> That's not wrong, but there's like
00:45:28
there's there's like a
00:45:29
>> Yeah.
00:45:29
>> You know what I mean?
00:45:31
>> An eccentric,
00:45:33
>> you know, personality disorder.
00:45:35
>> 100%.
00:45:35
>> Yeah. Where it's like he really believe
00:45:37
he went out there doesn't care about the
00:45:39
leeches and saving lives.
00:45:41
>> He gave the [ __ ] president of Ukraine
00:45:43
his own. Yeah. I mean, doesn't he have
00:45:46
one already?
00:45:46
>> Yes. Two.
00:45:47
>> Two.
00:45:47
>> Yeah. So, where are we going to put it?
00:45:49
next to the other one.
00:45:51
>> I know, but it's like,
00:45:52
>> you know,
00:45:53
>> you you would never my Oscar,
00:45:56
>> you know what my Oscar would be?
00:45:58
>> Well, your Oscar is more like a
00:45:59
>> Ask me where my Oscar is.
00:46:00
>> That is a good joke.
00:46:01
>> Yeah, go ahead.
00:46:02
>> I said your Oscar is more like a Juan.
00:46:04
You'll never get an Oscar. You'll get a
00:46:06
Julio before you get an Oscar.
00:46:08
>> Oh, that's mean.
00:46:10
>> It's not true, though.
00:46:12
>> That's mean.
00:46:13
>> You're never going to win a [ __ ]
00:46:14
Oscar. Are you out of your mind?
00:46:15
>> I I I was just trying to make a
00:46:17
hypothetical game about like I was just
00:46:19
having fun. I'm just digging you in.
00:46:20
>> Yeah, but you know,
00:46:21
>> give me your Oscar speech if you did
00:46:23
win. We shouldn't do Oscar jokes. This
00:46:25
is so [ __ ] long ago. The Oscars.
00:46:28
>> But yours would be at the front door
00:46:31
with lights. Yeah.
00:46:32
>> Music every time.
00:46:33
>> Right. As you open the door, it's like
00:46:42
and Bobb's like,
00:46:43
>> "No, I would have a gigantic Oscar
00:46:45
holding the Oscar."
00:46:46
>> Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:47
>> That's actually awesome.
00:46:48
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:50
>> That would And lights. Oh, no. Yeah.
00:46:52
Yeah. But don't forget the gigantic
00:46:54
Oscar.
00:46:54
>> Yeah.
00:46:55
>> Yeah.
00:46:56
>> You ever walk into somebody's house?
00:46:58
You ever walk into somebody's house and
00:47:00
they've got like Emmys plural, you know,
00:47:02
and you're like,
00:47:03
>> "How did you get a [ __ ] Emmy?"
00:47:04
>> I know. Yeah. Yeah.
00:47:05
>> Like you'll go to somebody's house who's
00:47:06
like someone you know in the business
00:47:07
and you're like, "You got a [ __ ]
00:47:09
Emmy?"
00:47:09
>> Yeah.
00:47:09
>> And they're like, "Yeah, we got three of
00:47:10
them. We did this outstanding
00:47:12
non-scripted blah blah blah thing,
00:47:14
daytime Emmy." And you're like,
00:47:16
>> they they give too many though.
00:47:18
>> I know. But
00:47:19
>> but I I saw I went to a guy's house and
00:47:21
like it was like on the bottom like
00:47:23
there was a bunch of books.
00:47:25
>> It was just the corner of a room. I go,
00:47:27
"What's that?" He goes, "It's an Emmy."
00:47:29
>> That's crazy.
00:47:30
>> And I go, I would have Emmy on top of an
00:47:34
Emmy
00:47:35
>> inside of another Emmy.
00:47:36
>> Inside of another Emmy. You You know
00:47:38
what it' be like? One of those Russian
00:47:40
dolls where you
00:47:43
mean there'd be so many Emmys within
00:47:44
Emmys. You know what I mean? Like, but
00:47:46
he just put it right in the corner of
00:47:48
this like, you know, I mean,
00:47:50
>> discreet, just doesn't care about it.
00:47:52
Rusting. I think that's cool. I think
00:47:54
that's what I would do. How funny if it
00:47:56
if I did get nominated for something.
00:47:57
>> I We would Well, I'd quit the show.
00:48:02
>> It would It would validate all my hate
00:48:04
for the business.
00:48:05
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah.
00:48:07
>> Really?
00:48:07
>> Well, it's all [ __ ]
00:48:08
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That would be
00:48:09
definitely
00:48:10
>> my friend Academy Award nominated.
00:48:13
>> Well, I'll tell you why I won't. Even if
00:48:15
I do a good job at a movie, the reason
00:48:16
why I won't is because I can't do the
00:48:18
thing that you need to do,
00:48:20
>> which is
00:48:20
>> which is go and shake hands and you know
00:48:23
what I mean?
00:48:24
>> You're so good at that.
00:48:25
>> No, I'm not.
00:48:26
>> You are very
00:48:26
>> I don't show up to those things,
00:48:28
>> but for this you would.
00:48:30
>> Oh, you think you got to you got to go
00:48:31
to Paris and meet so and so and you got
00:48:33
to do this and that. You think I would
00:48:35
do all those things?
00:48:35
>> Yeah. Have you ever seen the movie Home
00:48:37
for Porum?
00:48:37
>> No.
00:48:38
>> It's one of the best. That's like one of
00:48:39
the uh it's called uh That's not a
00:48:43
mighty wind, is it? No, for your
00:48:44
consideration. Sorry.
00:48:46
>> For your consideration.
00:48:47
>> Yeah.
00:48:48
>> This shitty little movie called Home for
00:48:49
Porum. Uh it's a movie inside of a movie
00:48:52
and the cast thinks it's a shitterter
00:48:53
and then it gets um Oscar buzz that they
00:48:55
might actually win. So then they all
00:48:57
change. They all they dynamically all
00:48:59
change. Yeah.
00:49:00
>> They become like so full of themselves
00:49:01
and they all become the fakest version
00:49:03
of who they used to be.
00:49:04
>> Oh, that's cool.
00:49:05
>> Oh, it's brilliant. It's
00:49:06
>> Oh, wow.
00:49:07
>> That's a um uh
00:49:09
>> Yeah.
00:49:09
>> What's his name movie? What's wrong with
00:49:10
Christopher Guest?
00:49:11
>> Christopher Guest movie. Yeah,
00:49:12
>> it really is.
00:49:12
>> Yeah.
00:49:13
>> Oh, wow. Look at the cast, by the way.
00:49:15
>> Yeah.
00:49:16
>> Did we kill yet another celebrity?
00:49:18
>> Yeah,
00:49:18
>> we did.
00:49:20
Dude, we got to stop talking about
00:49:22
famous people. We killed Chuck Norris.
00:49:24
>> No, we didn't kill Chuck.
00:49:25
>> Yes, we did. Hey,
00:49:26
>> he was 70. What? 81 years old.
00:49:29
>> No, he was only 68 or 69.
00:49:31
>> 86.
00:49:32
>> 86. Okay. He was
00:49:34
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think
00:49:37
that if they're above 75, we didn't kill
00:49:39
them.
00:49:40
>> Yeah. How about 80? If they're above 80.
00:49:42
>> Okay. above 80. I think he was on his
00:49:44
way.
00:49:45
>> 86 is a good good run. Oh,
00:49:46
>> yeah. That's a really good run.
00:49:48
>> But you know, Hawaii is where I want to
00:49:50
die.
00:49:51
>> Yeah, you've talked about this. Yeah.
00:49:52
Yeah. Why? Why?
00:49:53
>> Cuz I saw Rahm Doss die there.
00:49:56
>> You I mean, and when it was the last
00:49:57
video, it was weird cuz this is when
00:50:00
they had um when I first got um what do
00:50:03
you call that? The um Ox Oculus.
00:50:05
>> Yeah.
00:50:06
>> Right. And then there was like a thing
00:50:07
where you could press and see ROM DOSs.
00:50:10
>> Oh, wow.
00:50:11
>> Right. Right. And so then, you know, I
00:50:12
mean, you go boop, Ram Das, right?
00:50:15
>> And he's like a thousand, he looks like
00:50:17
a thousand years old. And he's in Hawaii
00:50:20
>> and he's going, you know what I mean?
00:50:21
>> Yeah. It's just a process. Yeah. You
00:50:24
mean you know what he's talking, you
00:50:25
know? You know what I mean? It's a it's
00:50:27
a witness to realism. Yeah. Whatever
00:50:30
he's talking about, right?
00:50:31
>> And you could zoom around his body, see
00:50:33
all his liver spots and stuff. But then
00:50:35
like Yeah. But then I was like, um, it
00:50:37
was definitely in Hawaii, right? And I'm
00:50:40
like, "Oh, this is where you pass."
00:50:42
>> You want to die in Hawaii.
00:50:43
>> I think so. In a beautiful day in Hawaii
00:50:45
with the palm trees, beautiful day, and
00:50:47
just sitting there, you know, I mean,
00:50:49
maybe on an Oculus. See me die on an
00:50:52
Oculus or something. You know what I
00:50:53
mean?
00:50:54
>> But like 3D. I want people to see me die
00:50:56
in 3D.
00:50:57
>> Sign up for Bad Friends Patreon. We will
00:50:59
be
00:51:00
>> We'll be doing a viewing party of
00:51:01
Bobby's death. Uh, and you can live.
00:51:03
>> Would you do a vlog
00:51:05
>> as I die?
00:51:05
>> Yeah. Why?
00:51:06
>> Until you can't talk. Oh my god.
00:51:09
>> As I lay dying. Yeah. Yeah.
00:51:10
>> That's so dark.
00:51:12
>> Yeah. But I I would pod until I can't
00:51:14
talk.
00:51:15
>> You'd be doing a a death pod.
00:51:17
>> Yeah. Do a death pod.
00:51:18
>> There is a guy that does it. The guy
00:51:19
that got diagnosed with like stage four
00:51:20
something cancer and he's doing like a
00:51:22
pod until he dies.
00:51:23
>> Yeah.
00:51:23
>> There's like a guy that was there was an
00:51:24
artist that was doing this.
00:51:26
>> Would you do it?
00:51:27
>> No. Cuz it would be Let me tell you
00:51:29
something. If I do
00:51:30
>> I would do it with you.
00:51:31
>> But if I have terminal cancer, I'm
00:51:32
telling you guys now in this room, none
00:51:34
none of you will ever know.
00:51:35
>> Oh, you would know e either if I had it.
00:51:38
>> Yeah. I wouldn't tell anybody. I would
00:51:39
do what's his name did.
00:51:40
>> Norm.
00:51:40
>> Huh?
00:51:41
>> Norm.
00:51:41
>> Norm. But I was thinking about what's
00:51:42
that that beautiful actor. Uh
00:51:44
>> oh. Chadwick.
00:51:45
>> Chadwick Boseman. It didn't tell a soul.
00:51:46
>> Yeah.
00:51:47
>> Why do Why?
00:51:49
>> I Because you don't want to You don't
00:51:50
want people to treat you differently as
00:51:51
you die.
00:51:52
>> You don't want the pity.
00:51:53
>> You just don't want someone to treat you
00:51:54
different because you're die when you're
00:51:55
dying. People are going to talk to you
00:51:57
like a baby because they know you're
00:51:59
safe.
00:51:59
>> Are you okay?
00:52:00
>> What? How was today?
00:52:01
>> How was today?
00:52:02
>> Yeah. You don't want any of that [ __ ]
00:52:02
Just treat me like you treat me and then
00:52:04
I'll die.
00:52:04
>> Yeah. Please tell me though. I would.
00:52:08
>> No, please tell. You have to tell me.
00:52:10
>> Do you want me to tell you now?
00:52:13
>> I I don't
00:52:14
>> like what stage like if it's stage two,
00:52:16
would you tell me?
00:52:17
>> How funny. I'm literally like withering
00:52:18
away and and Bob's like, "Are you okay?"
00:52:20
I'm on the pod. I'm just like, "I'm
00:52:22
totally fine."
00:52:23
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:52:23
>> I'm dying live on the pod.
00:52:25
>> Yeah.
00:52:25
>> No, I wouldn't tell anybody. I really
00:52:27
actually
00:52:27
>> You even me
00:52:28
>> I think just me and the old lady would
00:52:30
know and I wouldn't tell anybody else.
00:52:32
>> And then one day I show up and you're
00:52:33
not here.
00:52:35
>> It's kind of beautiful, isn't it? No,
00:52:36
it's not.
00:52:38
>> It's like Goodwill Hunting.
00:52:39
>> Yeah. Then I gota
00:52:40
>> Yes.
00:52:41
>> Then I gotta call Theo. You want to
00:52:42
start one?
00:52:44
>> Yeah, dude.
00:52:45
>> Yeah,
00:52:46
>> I would. BUT I'M BUSY.
00:52:47
>> WHAT WOULD I DO? I MEAN, it's over.
00:52:50
>> Yeah,
00:52:51
>> it would be over.
00:52:52
>> Well, I won't die.
00:52:53
>> Don't die with that.
00:52:54
>> All right. All right. Knock on wood.
00:52:55
>> All right. Knock on with me either,
00:52:56
dude. For at least another five.
00:52:59
>> Five? Yeah. Yeah.
00:53:00
>> Give me more than five.
00:53:00
>> Yeah. No, we need five more years.
00:53:02
>> The couple next to me said that today.
00:53:03
They said it was I was eating at the the
00:53:05
Chinese joint before I left and the guy
00:53:07
was like
00:53:07
>> just kind of started drummed up
00:53:09
conversation. Nice guy had the casino. I
00:53:11
said, "You guys out here in Vegas doing
00:53:12
something special." He's like, "It's our
00:53:14
anniversary."
00:53:15
>> It's awesome. I was like, "Yeah, my
00:53:16
in-laws are going to, you know, about to
00:53:18
do their 50th." And she goes, "Gh, God,
00:53:20
we'll never make it there." And the
00:53:22
husband was like, "What do you mean?
00:53:24
What? What? You're going to leave me?"
00:53:26
And she's like, "No, I'll be dead. In 20
00:53:28
years, I'll be dead."
00:53:30
>> Oh my god.
00:53:30
>> It was their 30th. And I was like, "No,
00:53:32
you won't be dead." And she's like, "I
00:53:34
hope so." I was like, "God damn."
00:53:37
>> It was It made me sad. I was like, "No,
00:53:39
don't say that.
00:53:40
>> What's coming for all of us?"
00:53:41
>> I know, but I don't want to think about
00:53:42
it.
00:53:43
>> Yeah.
00:53:44
>> I think about it sometime.
00:53:44
>> That's why I quit smoking.
00:53:46
>> Yeah.
00:53:46
>> To give give myself a shot.
00:53:48
>> Get death away from the door.
00:53:49
>> Yeah.
00:53:50
>> Get him to go away. And now we're going
00:53:52
to start exercising.
00:53:53
>> I have been.
00:53:55
>> Go on.
00:53:58
Well, I mean,
00:54:01
>> I have.
00:54:02
>> Yeah, go on.
00:54:03
>> I believe you.
00:54:04
>> I mean, I've been I've been trying to
00:54:07
>> You mean do setups?
00:54:08
>> I Can I tell you something? Yeah. And
00:54:09
this is not an insult.
00:54:10
>> Yeah.
00:54:11
>> But your stomach kind of looks like
00:54:12
after someone gets surgery and they have
00:54:14
all that extra skin left over cuz you've
00:54:16
lost so much weight.
00:54:17
>> I know.
00:54:18
>> You got to just get that ripped off.
00:54:19
>> No, I don't think I have I don't have
00:54:21
that kind of extra skin. You do?
00:54:22
>> I can sit up. You You think so?
00:54:24
>> Let's do a tummy tuck for you.
00:54:26
>> Yeah.
00:54:27
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think I have extra
00:54:28
skin.
00:54:28
>> Let me see it again.
00:54:29
>> What?
00:54:30
>> He's going to gain the weight back,
00:54:32
though.
00:54:32
>> Okay, but don't Okay, stop sucking in.
00:54:33
Just now. Relax. Relax your body.
00:54:36
>> Relax your back.
00:54:36
>> I am.
00:54:37
>> Relax.
00:54:38
>> I am.
00:54:40
>> Yeah.
00:54:41
>> This
00:54:41
>> It's crazy how skinny you are.
00:54:43
>> But this
00:54:44
>> Yeah.
00:54:45
>> But I've been doing a lot of sit-ups.
00:54:48
>> Have you?
00:54:48
>> Yeah. I do like a thousand a day.
00:54:50
>> Really? You do a thousand a day?
00:54:52
>> Yeah, I try to do a thousand a day.
00:54:53
>> Try to Okay.
00:54:54
>> How many do you actually do?
00:54:55
>> Six.
00:54:55
>> No, I know. No, I'm not not kidding you.
00:54:57
I do it like uh when I wake up, I I do
00:54:59
it like 150
00:55:01
>> and then during the day I'll just keep
00:55:03
doing it.
00:55:08
>> He just goes to the kitchen for ice
00:55:10
cream.
00:55:11
>> Yes, I do.
00:55:12
>> Show me a sit up right now. 150.
00:55:15
>> No, not in a row.
00:55:19
>> Not in a row.
00:55:20
>> What do you mean? You said I do I do
00:55:21
like 150?
00:55:22
>> Yeah. So, I'll do like 25.
00:55:24
>> Yeah.
00:55:25
>> Stop. Right. Look out the window.
00:55:28
>> Right. Watch Neighbors on HBO. Right.
00:55:31
>> And then I'll go, you gota do another
00:55:32
25. So I'll do another 25. Right. Stop.
00:55:35
But I'll make sure I get to 150 in the
00:55:37
morning
00:55:37
>> in the [ __ ] you do 150.
00:55:40
>> Yeah. Yeah. I I mean I just started a
00:55:41
week after I quit smoking.
00:55:42
>> Can I see how you do your form?
00:55:44
>> That's a week after you quit smoking.
00:55:47
>> Please let me see your form.
00:55:48
>> No.
00:55:49
>> I just want to see how you do it.
00:55:50
>> No,
00:55:50
>> I can't do it. No, because you you're
00:55:52
going to tease me and it's going to be
00:55:53
mockery and I don't want I don't want to
00:55:55
do that because it's going to dis what
00:55:56
it's going to do is going to make me go,
00:55:58
"Oh, don't do them anymore because it's
00:55:59
mockery."
00:56:00
>> Of course, I'm going to tease you.
00:56:02
>> THAT'S WHY I'M NOT DOING IT RIGHT NOW,
00:56:04
DUDE.
00:56:05
>> YEAH, but I'm I'm doing it I'm going to
00:56:07
do it for a year and see what happens.
00:56:09
>> I'm so proud of you.
00:56:10
>> You'll be ripped if you really do it. If
00:56:12
you
00:56:12
>> I am do I really am doing it
00:56:14
>> like this?
00:56:14
>> I'm obsessed with it. Yeah.
00:56:16
>> Do you brace your legs with something to
00:56:17
like cuz you need weight on your feet?
00:56:19
>> Yeah. So I hook my legs on my um
00:56:20
cabinet.
00:56:21
>> You do?
00:56:21
>> Yeah. Yeah. Like this. And I get cramps
00:56:23
on my feet.
00:56:24
>> Well, you drink water.
00:56:25
>> Yeah. And I And I And I try to hold this
00:56:28
too. So the pain is there.
00:56:30
>> Wow.
00:56:30
>> Yeah. And right now it does hurt all of
00:56:32
it.
00:56:32
>> That's good.
00:56:33
>> Good pain.
00:56:34
>> It's all this pain down here.
00:56:36
>> You put a mat down or you doing it on
00:56:37
>> I I just do hard ground. You know what I
00:56:39
call it? I'm doing old boy.
00:56:41
>> Doing old boy.
00:56:42
>> When you stuck in that room for 15
00:56:44
years, right? So I'm only gonna do
00:56:45
push-ups. Mhm.
00:56:46
>> I'm only going to do push-ups and
00:56:48
sit-ups and just see what that does.
00:56:50
>> Like jail.
00:56:50
>> Yeah. Like like prison.
00:56:52
>> Well, street street workouts. You seen
00:56:53
those guys that only work out? Like they
00:56:55
just do pull-ups on street lights? Have
00:56:56
you seen how jacked these guys are? They
00:56:58
go to a jungle gym. These guys are
00:57:00
street workouts out that that that those
00:57:02
two black guys.
00:57:04
>> Uh I've seen these guys. They don't do
00:57:06
anything but push-ups, sit-ups,
00:57:08
pull-ups, squats. Like this is all
00:57:11
>> Yeah.
00:57:12
>> from practical [ __ ] outside.
00:57:13
>> Practical [ __ ] outside.
00:57:14
>> No weights.
00:57:15
>> Yeah. Also, it's like I went to that
00:57:17
[ __ ] place. What's that gym next to
00:57:18
my house?
00:57:19
>> Equinox.
00:57:20
>> No.
00:57:21
>> Planet Fitness.
00:57:23
>> So, I walked in there and I go, "Um, I
00:57:25
want to join."
00:57:26
>> No, you didn't.
00:57:26
>> I swear to God on my my mother's life.
00:57:28
>> Wow.
00:57:29
>> And I went in there and I go, "I want to
00:57:31
join." They go, "We want to we need to
00:57:33
link you get your bank account.
00:57:36
>> We don't do credit card membership."
00:57:39
>> And I'm like, "What? I don't know how to
00:57:42
do that." And I just left.
00:57:46
I go, "Fuck you. I'm leaving." Right. I
00:57:48
really was going to join Planet Fitness.
00:57:50
>> You fitness would be so funny.
00:57:53
>> It was right by my house. Right by my
00:57:54
house. Right.
00:57:54
>> You're never going to get anything done.
00:57:55
People are going to bother you all day.
00:57:57
>> No. No. I No. No. I Dude, I I put a mask
00:58:00
on everything.
00:58:00
>> You do.
00:58:01
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah.
00:58:02
>> And they can't tell it's you.
00:58:03
>> First of all, you have to cover your
00:58:04
eyes if you're going to cover anything.
00:58:06
Not your [ __ ] mouth.
00:58:07
>> A Batman mask.
00:58:09
>> I'd like to work out. I came here to
00:58:12
work out.
00:58:13
Bane better not be in the cold one.
00:58:17
>> Yeah. So I went there and they said I
00:58:19
>> welcome to the steam room Batman.
00:58:22
>> So I try to
00:58:24
>> Yeah. So then in my mind I'm like you
00:58:26
know and I don't want to go to Egyn cuz
00:58:27
that's where all the supermodels and all
00:58:29
the hot people go.
00:58:30
>> The hottest people. It's disgusting.
00:58:32
>> That's why I'm like I'm just going to go
00:58:34
old boy style
00:58:35
>> and do sit-ups and push-ups. Now you
00:58:37
can't tell yet but maybe if I do it for
00:58:39
like a year
00:58:40
>> you're going to get jacked
00:58:42
>> maybe. But do you remember what you said
00:58:43
to me in the car in Australia?
00:58:44
>> What?
00:58:44
>> You'll see.
00:58:45
>> You'll see.
00:58:46
>> You're You're going to see now.
00:58:47
>> It's already been 2 years.
00:58:48
>> I I I know. I I know. But I listen, I
00:58:51
didn't do anything
00:58:53
>> until this week and a half
00:58:55
>> and I've been starting every day doing
00:58:57
it because I need a because I need a new
00:58:59
obsession.
00:59:00
>> You're bored, too?
00:59:01
>> Cuz I'm smoking. I used to smoke, right?
00:59:02
So, it's like instead of that, I have so
00:59:04
much anxiety. So, it's like I I have to
00:59:07
do it because if I don't then I get
00:59:09
entrenched in Iran.
00:59:11
in Iran.
00:59:12
>> Iran.
00:59:13
>> Iran.
00:59:13
>> Oh,
00:59:14
>> yeah.
00:59:15
>> I I didn't know what you were I thought
00:59:16
it was an app. I WAS LIKE, "WHAT?
00:59:18
>> PUT me on to Iron."
00:59:19
>> No. No. Like the war. Like I get
00:59:21
obsessed with the war and stuff and
00:59:22
what's going on and stuff like that. You
00:59:24
know what I mean? And then I And I get
00:59:25
lost in it. It causes me more more
00:59:27
anxiety. So it's like now I'm, you know,
00:59:29
I mean, old boying it.
00:59:30
>> You're old boy.
00:59:31
>> Yeah. Yeah. Like or I call it the Travis
00:59:33
Pickle.
00:59:35
>> You know what I mean?
00:59:36
>> That more lines up society. This dirt
00:59:39
and the trash in the streets. You know
00:59:40
what I mean?
00:59:41
>> It's incel talk.
00:59:42
>> Yeah. Yeah. It's like Yeah. I talk to
00:59:44
myself. You know what I mean? It's
00:59:46
garbage. The human garbage.
00:59:49
>> What?
00:59:49
>> The [ __ ] and the [ __ ] and the dogs.
00:59:50
>> Dogs. You know what I mean? You know
00:59:52
who's up there in that room?
00:59:56
>> That's my wife. That's my wife. You know
00:59:57
who's up in that room?
00:59:58
>> Not my apartment.
00:59:59
>> Yeah. That's not my apartment. You know
01:00:00
what I mean? It's a
01:00:03
>> He's a shooter. What? You're a shooter?
01:00:06
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm about to
01:00:08
>> It's a little dangerous.
01:00:09
>> Yeah. Yeah. I just got a rifle.
01:00:10
>> Laser.
01:00:12
>> Yeah, I'm traveling speckling it.
01:00:14
>> No, please don't.
01:00:14
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like I have
01:00:17
like notes from the underground
01:00:19
thoughts.
01:00:20
>> What does that mean?
01:00:22
>> It's a Dostoyki book and it's about a
01:00:24
guy that's like living in a basement
01:00:27
>> and judging society through like a
01:00:29
little opening. You know what I mean?
01:00:31
>> Yeah.
01:00:31
>> You know what I mean? And I'm I do that.
01:00:34
>> So scary.
01:00:35
>> That's such a scary thing to think
01:00:36
about. No, I do it.
01:00:38
>> Judging from a window sill in a
01:00:39
basement.
01:00:40
>> Yeah.
01:00:41
>> Oh, yeah.
01:00:41
>> Just piss jars everywhere.
01:00:43
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:00:43
>> Fap all over the place.
01:00:45
>> Yeah. Yeah. I'm JD Salinger.
01:00:49
>> One would think.
01:00:50
>> Yeah.
01:00:50
>> Yeah. You were You were very salient.
01:00:52
>> Yeah. Yeah. Salian did.
01:00:54
>> If I was an author, which author would I
01:00:56
be?
01:01:01
>> Never drinks water.
01:01:02
>> He got calf cramps doing sit-ups. out.
01:01:05
He's got to fix all that.
01:01:08
>> Can I have another water, please?
01:01:09
>> Yeah.
01:01:10
>> D, you're parched, huh?
01:01:12
>> Yeah. I'm so tired and um drained from
01:01:15
it. I mean, this week was crazy.
01:01:19
>> Bad crazy.
01:01:21
>> We did sack and then I flew straight to
01:01:23
Philly, you know. I mean, three days
01:01:25
there, one day in LA, then went to San
01:01:28
Jose.
01:01:29
Today I flew back. You know what I mean?
01:01:32
I didn't sleep at all. It's like you're
01:01:33
on the pit.
01:01:34
>> Slept all day.
01:01:37
>> What the [ __ ] is going on?
01:01:40
>> Like a [ __ ] camel.
01:01:42
>> No, I love you. Need it. Huh?
01:01:44
>> Yes. So, I'm I'm old boying it.
01:01:47
>> You got to old boy it.
01:01:48
>> Yeah.
01:01:49
>> I think you're I I believe in you. I
01:01:50
believe in you.
01:01:51
>> I mean, I'm never going to destroy you.
01:01:53
I'll never get physically, you know,
01:01:55
strong enough. You're just a bigger
01:01:56
weight class.
01:01:57
>> Yeah. How's dating going? But I am
01:01:59
seeing somebody and what I've been doing
01:02:01
is just looking at them and go, "Are we
01:02:04
done?" And then and she goes, "Are you
01:02:07
sure?" I I go, "Yeah, I mean, you did
01:02:09
it, right?" She goes, "Yeah, I got
01:02:12
there." And then I'll go, "I think I'm
01:02:14
done."
01:02:15
>> So you're just bailing.
01:02:17
>> What do you mean?
01:02:17
>> You're bailing out. You're not going to
01:02:18
try to finish the job.
01:02:20
>> Well, I'll come like some excuse like we
01:02:22
did the job. You know what I mean? We
01:02:24
got rid of the You know what I mean?
01:02:26
Most of their military
01:02:28
>> Trump Very
01:02:31
good.
01:02:32
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you
01:02:34
know, I need a I you know, it's called,
01:02:35
you know, I mean, an exit strategy.
01:02:38
>> Yeah. So, I use an exit strategy, you
01:02:40
know what I mean? When we're done,
01:02:41
>> what is it?
01:02:42
>> It's just like at one time, u what
01:02:44
happened was um
01:02:47
you know, I mean, she was working so
01:02:48
hard and I just grabbed her arms and I
01:02:51
go,
01:02:53
>> "No, you shook it off."
01:02:54
>> Yeah. And I shook it off and she goes,
01:02:56
"Are you sure?" I go, "Yeah." like a
01:02:58
pitcher to a catcher just shaking off
01:03:01
the signs. I don't want that.
01:03:03
>> But the but but is it worth it? I don't
01:03:05
know.
01:03:06
>> Well, if you're happier.
01:03:07
>> Yeah, I'm happier. It's also But you
01:03:09
here's what's the great thing about it
01:03:10
though is is that um
01:03:14
>> Am I boring everybody?
01:03:15
>> No. It's interesting.
01:03:16
>> Are you sure?
01:03:18
>> Yeah.
01:03:18
>> I feel like being boring today.
01:03:19
>> We're listening.
01:03:20
>> Is that what it is?
01:03:21
>> Yeah. People are quiet when you're
01:03:22
talking because they're listening.
01:03:23
>> Okay. But what it is is um what helped
01:03:27
it
01:03:28
I'm kidding.
01:03:28
>> Are you real?
01:03:29
>> It was a bit. It was a bit cuz you just
01:03:31
asked.
01:03:32
>> But go ahead.
01:03:32
>> The cookies are good.
01:03:34
>> Come on. I'm serious.
01:03:35
>> Okay.
01:03:35
>> It was a bit. You just said something.
01:03:37
>> I just didn't have the motivation or you
01:03:39
know what I mean? It's really weird.
01:03:41
>> That's healthy.
01:03:41
>> Couldn't do it.
01:03:42
>> She was like hugging. I was hugging her
01:03:44
and I got kind of half hard.
01:03:46
You know how you get half.
01:03:48
>> I know that.
01:03:49
>> Yeah. You know that feeling, right?
01:03:50
Yeah. Yeah. It's like midway point.
01:03:52
>> Oh yeah. No turning back.
01:03:53
>> Yeah. Yeah. It's like neutral like
01:03:56
India.
01:04:00
Yeah. Too much roar, right? Too much.
01:04:02
Too much war. But using reference
01:04:04
>> too much.
01:04:05
>> Way too much.
01:04:06
>> Switzerland is
01:04:07
>> what? Switzerland. Yeah. I'm being very
01:04:09
neutral. You know what I mean? But it's
01:04:10
like another thing that I realized is
01:04:12
that um a new game came out that I've
01:04:15
been anticipating for 6 months and I
01:04:16
haven't played one single bit of it.
01:04:18
>> What is the game?
01:04:19
>> It's called Crimson Desert.
01:04:21
>> Alexa Pro.
01:04:22
>> Yeah, I think it's Alexa Pro because
01:04:23
it's like I it's downloaded. You know
01:04:25
what I mean? I turned it on and I saw
01:04:28
the character walk toward I got him to
01:04:30
walk toward like a cabin
01:04:32
>> and you got midpoint.
01:04:34
>> I got I got midpoint.
01:04:35
>> Yeah.
01:04:36
>> I couldn't even reach the cabin.
01:04:37
>> You got neutral.
01:04:38
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:04:38
>> You got sweet
01:04:39
>> and my character stopped and I was like
01:04:42
I just turned it off.
01:04:44
>> What?
01:04:44
>> Yeah. And then I just did 25 sit-ups.
01:04:46
>> We got to get Oh, that's good.
01:04:48
>> Use some more drive for life.
01:04:50
>> No, it it's it's like I don't know. It's
01:04:52
weird. It's like um because I I play I
01:04:55
use video games to like not think about
01:04:58
my life and not think about my anxiety
01:05:00
and stuff but I don't have as much
01:05:02
right. So it's like I have no interest
01:05:04
in
01:05:05
>> escapist
01:05:05
>> escapism you know what I mean in that
01:05:08
way.
01:05:08
>> No.
01:05:09
>> Yeah. So but it the the only downside is
01:05:12
you know I mean the climaxing and the
01:05:14
orgasm.
01:05:15
>> No coming is a big that's a bummer.
01:05:16
>> It's a big one. Yeah.
01:05:18
>> You need to talk to your therapist. This
01:05:19
isn't therapy dude.
01:05:20
>> Is there a spider on your shirt?
01:05:22
It's a hole on the on the sleeve.
01:05:25
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:05:26
>> Well, you you
01:05:26
>> It wouldn't scare me.
01:05:28
>> A spider.
01:05:31
>> It just look like one.
01:05:32
>> I know, but it's like I felt like you
01:05:33
were trying to scare me.
01:05:34
>> No.
01:05:35
>> Yeah. Yeah. I I think that a scorpion
01:05:37
maybe.
01:05:38
>> Is that a scorpion on your shirt?
01:05:39
>> That' be Whoa. Oh,
01:05:41
>> you know what I mean? But the spider was
01:05:42
like I don't know.
01:05:43
>> Unless it was like um you know um what's
01:05:46
it called? The the brown one.
01:05:47
>> Brown recluse.
01:05:48
>> The brown recluse. If it was a brown
01:05:50
recluse, I would be scared a little bit.
01:05:51
They're in California.
01:05:52
>> Yeah. Yeah. A black widow probably
01:05:54
>> scared.
01:05:54
>> But a standard spider I don't think I'm
01:05:56
scared of.
01:05:57
>> You think that's disrespectful to them?
01:05:58
You that they're called standard
01:05:59
spiders. You know, like when they're
01:06:01
crawling up with your wall and they're
01:06:03
trying to be tough and you go, "Oh,
01:06:04
look. A little standard spider."
01:06:06
>> Brown recluse. That's so offensive.
01:06:08
>> A brown recluse.
01:06:09
>> They're brown.
01:06:11
>> Yeah.
01:06:11
>> You know what I mean?
01:06:12
>> How did they get into this country? Is
01:06:13
my real
01:06:14
>> is Yeah. Exact. Exactly.
01:06:16
>> These are your papers.
01:06:18
>> Um,
01:06:19
>> by the way, brown recluse. Black Widow.
01:06:21
Notice the theme.
01:06:22
>> Yeah.
01:06:22
>> All right. There's no white one. That's
01:06:25
Is this
01:06:26
>> In fact, there's no white spiders.
01:06:27
>> Yeah, there is.
01:06:28
>> Genocide
01:06:29
>> right there.
01:06:30
>> Oh, there's one.
01:06:31
>> Yeah, there's white.
01:06:31
>> Yeah. Would you be scared with that one?
01:06:33
>> Yeah.
01:06:33
>> No, it looks It looks nice and safe.
01:06:35
>> Yeah. It's like, "Hello, neighbor."
01:06:39
>> White spiders.
01:06:39
>> Okie dokie.
01:06:40
>> White spiders asked to come in your
01:06:42
house.
01:06:42
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:06:43
>> Hey, may I come in?
01:06:44
>> Yeah.
01:06:44
>> Come on in.
01:06:45
>> Do you have some spare bear spare
01:06:47
butter?
01:06:47
>> White spiders in Arizona. That's really
01:06:49
Those are cool looking.
01:06:51
>> Yeah, but there's some black in it.
01:06:54
Obama style.
01:06:55
>> Can I have another water, please?
01:06:57
>> Unbelievable. I love this hydration. Do
01:07:00
you know why all the IV IV girls are
01:07:02
hot?
01:07:03
>> I know it. I figured it out. Why are
01:07:05
they all hot?
01:07:06
>> How did you figure it out?
01:07:07
>> Because I got them a bunch of times when
01:07:08
I'm on the road and it and this helped
01:07:10
me figure it out.
01:07:11
>> Because they're [ __ ] Because they
01:07:13
don't
01:07:14
>> Oh, here we go.
01:07:15
>> They don't work. and they send a hot
01:07:18
girl to distract you from the fact that
01:07:19
it doesn't [ __ ] actually do [ __ ] You
01:07:21
piss it out five seconds later, it
01:07:23
didn't do anything. It's placebo. And
01:07:24
here's how I know that's true. Half of
01:07:26
these women that are administering these
01:07:28
things, I don't even believe they're
01:07:29
nurses. These are just [ __ ] chicks
01:07:33
who got It's like an agency hired them.
01:07:35
I don't think that any of it's real.
01:07:36
>> That's okay if they're hot, though.
01:07:38
>> I don't want someone stabbing me in the
01:07:39
[ __ ] arm with a needle in a bag.
01:07:40
>> So, you you'll never get an IV again.
01:07:42
>> I think they're [ __ ]
01:07:43
>> I get them all every week.
01:07:45
>> And is it working? It is working
01:07:46
>> on what?
01:07:47
>> My sit-ups.
01:07:49
>> Touche.
01:07:51
>> Touche.
01:07:52
>> All right. My my sit-ups and my mind.
01:07:54
>> They're overpriced and they're fake. I
01:07:56
know that they're fake. There's vitamins
01:07:58
in those bags, but you're
01:07:59
>> Then why is your pee right a different
01:08:01
color?
01:08:02
>> You You answered my what? You literally
01:08:03
validating what I'm saying. You piss it
01:08:05
right out.
01:08:06
>> Yeah, but it's the vitamins and all the
01:08:08
good stuff that's going through your
01:08:09
body.
01:08:09
>> Almost nothing gets absorbed. You can
01:08:11
talk to any doctor. They'll tell you
01:08:12
your body
01:08:13
>> it goes to your veins, guy. It doesn't
01:08:15
absorb. You piss it right out. If
01:08:17
>> my veins absorb.
01:08:18
>> Let me see your veins.
01:08:20
>> Those did absorb.
01:08:20
>> Yeah. Yeah. They're absorbing the veins,
01:08:22
dude. You might You got to get your
01:08:23
veins checked.
01:08:24
>> Every doctor I know says it's a [ __ ]
01:08:26
scam. That is [ __ ] And they're
01:08:27
overpriced. And they go, "You'll retain
01:08:29
such a small percentage of those
01:08:30
vitamins. You might as well just take a
01:08:32
handful of [ __ ] vitamins at home.
01:08:34
Easier than getting a drip for 40
01:08:36
minutes because you want a hot chick in
01:08:37
your living room."
01:08:38
>> All right. All right. So, what?
01:08:39
>> That's what it is.
01:08:41
>> It's cool.
01:08:42
>> I'm see No,
01:08:43
>> it's a scam. It's not a scam.
01:08:45
>> It's a [ __ ] scam.
01:08:46
>> No, because then they add extra. Do you
01:08:48
want extra?
01:08:48
>> Oh, that doesn't sound like a scam at
01:08:50
all.
01:08:50
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:08:52
>> Do you want extra something?
01:08:53
>> It's like extra hot sauce at [ __ ]
01:08:55
Taco Bell.
01:08:56
>> Yeah. Put it in the [ __ ] bag.
01:08:57
>> Which one? Diablo.
01:08:59
>> Fire. Fire. Fire.
01:09:00
>> Diablo.
01:09:00
>> Here's why I don't like No. Here's why I
01:09:02
don't like Diablo.
01:09:03
>> Changes the flavor profile of of Taco
01:09:05
Bell. Fire is
01:09:07
>> just hot enough. And I buy it at the
01:09:08
store. It's on sale right now at Bonds.
01:09:10
>> It's in my fridge.
01:09:11
>> Yeah.
01:09:12
>> I have four bottles. I Oh, I got six
01:09:13
bottles of Arvar.
01:09:14
>> I have nine bottles of shoe leather.
01:09:19
>> Arvar.
01:09:20
>> You know Arvar?
01:09:21
>> Yeah.
01:09:21
>> Yeah. Great hot sauce.
01:09:22
>> Nine bottles of it.
01:09:23
>> Yeah. I ordered it on shop.
01:09:26
>> On my phone.
01:09:27
>> On Shop.
01:09:28
>> It's called Shop on my phone.
01:09:29
>> Is it like Amazon shop?
01:09:30
>> I don't know what it is, but Yeah. The
01:09:32
reason why I don't use Amazon anymore
01:09:34
because all my deliveries go to this
01:09:35
girl I used to hit on in Phoenix
01:09:37
>> cuz she was sick one time. you and you
01:09:40
forget to do the
01:09:40
>> Yeah, I forgot to do the address. So,
01:09:43
she she texted me last week. She I got
01:09:45
12 bottles of Arvark
01:09:48
>> and I go, "Oh, fuck." And I finally
01:09:49
figured out how to change the address.
01:09:51
You know what I mean?
01:09:52
>> Enjoy the Arvark, though. Yeah. I mean,
01:09:54
what a gift.
01:09:54
>> Arvark's great.
01:09:55
>> She goes, "I got $12." You're like,
01:09:56
"Thinking of you."
01:09:57
>> Yeah. And then here's what I also have
01:10:00
been doing lately and I don't know if
01:10:01
you know this this is a good thing but
01:10:03
um you ever go you ever go to the
01:10:05
farmers market
01:10:08
>> every day?
01:10:10
>> No.
01:10:12
You going to [ __ ] walk around the
01:10:13
[ __ ] farmers market and see like a
01:10:15
like four By the way, it's three of the
01:10:18
bins are the same thing. It's like oh is
01:10:20
this lettuce again from this guy? A
01:10:22
different guy. It's a honey guy. Four
01:10:24
lettuce stands. Two egg ladies.
01:10:26
>> OH MY GOD. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
01:10:29
>> AND HOW MANY CANDLES?
01:10:30
>> THERE'S A STICKER SHOP.
01:10:32
>> ALL RIGHT. THERE'S A NUT SHOP.
01:10:33
>> OH,
01:10:34
>> ALL RIGHT. I'm not going there for
01:10:35
lettuce, guy.
01:10:36
>> It's a scam.
01:10:37
>> It's not a scam.
01:10:38
>> Farmers markets are the IV of groceries.
01:10:40
>> No, it's a Let me tell you something
01:10:42
about [ __ ] the farmers market. Which
01:10:44
farmers market are you talking about?
01:10:45
I'm Third Street.
01:10:47
>> Third Street?
01:10:48
>> Yeah, the um
01:10:49
>> the farmers market.
01:10:50
>> The that farmers market.
01:10:51
>> No, the the growth and farmers market
01:10:54
that brother, we're talking about
01:10:55
farmers market. I'm talking about the
01:10:57
Third Street Farmers Market.
01:10:58
>> Well, all of us thought the other thing.
01:10:59
>> Oh, you did?
01:11:00
>> Yes.
01:11:00
>> You're talking.
01:11:01
>> You You got me on Third Street. What
01:11:03
about you, M?
01:11:04
>> No, I thought you meant a real farmer.
01:11:05
>> A farmers market.
01:11:06
>> Oh, so the farmers market on Thursday is
01:11:08
not a real farmers market.
01:11:09
>> The mall.
01:11:10
>> WHAT IS IT CALLED?
01:11:12
>> THE MALL. IT'S THE GROVE.
01:11:13
>> IT'S CALLED THE GROVE.
01:11:14
>> NO, IT'S CALLED THE FARMERS MARKET.
01:11:15
>> YES. THAT'S THE NAME OF IT. BUT IT'S
01:11:17
CALLED NO ONE CALLS IT THAT.
01:11:19
>> NOBODY CALLS THAT.
01:11:20
>> OH, SO IN BIG LETTERS IT SAYS THE
01:11:23
FARMERS MARKET, BUT NO ONE CALLS IT
01:11:25
THAT. NO.
01:11:26
>> FIRST of all, nobody go Nobody goes
01:11:27
there.
01:11:28
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:11:29
>> Hey, Pepsi. No one calls that. It's
01:11:31
brown juice.
01:11:33
>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
01:11:35
>> It is brown juice.
01:11:38
>> Call it a farmer's market. BUT IT'S
01:11:39
>> LOOK AT IT'S ON A [ __ ] WHAT? TEMPLE.
01:11:42
What do you call that?
01:11:42
>> A farmers market. A farmers market that
01:11:45
we're referring to is a thing that's
01:11:46
come and go. This is a permanent far.
01:11:48
It's permanent.
01:11:49
>> All right. So, next time we'll say
01:11:50
permanent farmers market.
01:11:51
>> Well, say say you know the farmers
01:11:53
market at the grove. That's what
01:11:54
everybody says. I'll do I'll say that
01:11:55
from now.
01:11:56
>> Am I right? Am I [ __ ] right? Everyone
01:11:57
goes, "Oh, the farmers market." I GO,
01:11:58
"THAT'S A [ __ ] FARMERS MARKET.
01:12:00
There's nine people making candles, six
01:12:03
people selling lettuce, and one [ __ ]
01:12:04
selling eggs. It's the [ __ ] worst.
01:12:07
They're They're dog shit." Look at that.
01:12:09
Oranges. Don't need them. Don't need
01:12:12
them.
01:12:15
But
01:12:15
>> can I finish?
01:12:16
>> Listen.
01:12:17
>> Can I finish my farmers market?
01:12:18
>> The farmers market at the Grove.
01:12:21
>> Phenomenal.
01:12:22
>> Sticker shop. No, it's phenomenal.
01:12:24
>> Yeah, but there's all kinds of
01:12:25
>> But it's a [ __ ] mall. It's a mall
01:12:27
with permanent restaurants.
01:12:28
>> But you know, Can I just So there's a
01:12:30
there's a hot sauce
01:12:31
>> store there. Hot a hot a hot sauce bar.
01:12:33
Yeah.
01:12:34
>> That's not a bar.
01:12:36
>> That's just a name. A hot sauce bar.
01:12:38
>> Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm being
01:12:40
combative.
01:12:41
>> I like it.
01:12:42
>> Okay. So, there's a hot sauce place
01:12:44
there and then there's the I and I
01:12:46
always buy I don't know why. And I have
01:12:48
a [ __ ] cabinet filled. I go, where's
01:12:50
the hottest one? You want a true just to
01:12:52
have it.
01:12:53
>> And I have it. Like I have the source.
01:12:55
>> But you're not going to put it on
01:12:56
anything, are you? No.
01:12:57
>> Just do you dip the finger?
01:12:58
>> No. I have the one that's shaped like a
01:12:59
devil. I I have devil's blood. You know
01:13:01
what I mean? Have you devil's blood? You
01:13:03
know what I mean? I have um the You know
01:13:06
what I mean? The hottest ones that you
01:13:08
could buy. The most expensive ones.
01:13:10
>> Very cool.
01:13:11
>> Yeah. Give me a devil's blood. Yeah.
01:13:12
That one in the top. Yeah. That's Yeah.
01:13:14
>> Satan's blood.
01:13:15
>> Satan's blood. Yeah. Yeah. I have a
01:13:17
couple of bottles of blood.
01:13:17
>> Hey, what's up? It's Mikey. Today we're
01:13:19
doing Satan's blood.
01:13:23
So stupid.
01:13:23
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I just, you know,
01:13:25
>> But you collect them cuz
01:13:27
>> I don't collect. I don't use them. I
01:13:28
have the source, too. The sources. Look
01:13:30
at the sources bottle. Have we talked
01:13:31
about the source?
01:13:32
>> No.
01:13:32
>> The source hot sauce.
01:13:34
Yeah.
01:13:35
>> The source hot sauce.
01:13:38
>> Look at the way it comes out.
01:13:40
>> Oh, it's like
01:13:40
>> like a mind.
01:13:41
>> It's like a book.
01:13:42
>> Ancient.
01:13:42
>> It's ancient. No, it comes in that and
01:13:44
then Yeah, it's like that. It It is so
01:13:47
hot. It's 7.1 million Scoville units.
01:13:52
Rory Scoville rated this.
01:13:56
7.1 million Scoville. What is So, what
01:13:59
is the average Scoville units of like a
01:14:01
bottle of Cholula? Give me that.
01:14:03
>> Here's the kid again.
01:14:04
>> Yeah. Hey guys, I'm trying the source
01:14:05
again. It's Mikey.
01:14:08
>> Give me the Scoville units of a bottle
01:14:10
of Cholula.
01:14:11
>> And I Let's guess cuz it's 7.1 million
01:14:13
for the source. I'm guessing regular
01:14:15
Cholula hot sauce is like
01:14:17
>> 500.
01:14:18
>> Yeah. Yeah. I was just going to say a
01:14:19
thousand Scoville. A,000 and 2,000. I
01:14:22
was right on the money, baby.
01:14:23
>> Of what?
01:14:23
>> Scoville units. The heat units. That's
01:14:25
how they measure heat.
01:14:26
>> And that's of what the hot sauce.
01:14:28
>> Okay. So, just for like Cholula, regular
01:14:30
table tabletop Cholula,00,000 to 2,000.
01:14:33
The one you have is 7.1 million.
01:14:36
>> Yeah.
01:14:37
>> That's absurdest.
01:14:38
>> I know. You got to try it.
01:14:40
>> No, it's What do you You know, it's
01:14:41
going to fry your tongue. So, one time
01:14:43
me and Jordan Peele went to that hot
01:14:45
sauce place and we got the sores and we
01:14:47
took a [ __ ] toothpick
01:14:50
>> and your tongue
01:14:51
>> and we dipped a toothpick and we stuck
01:14:53
on our tongue and it was the most
01:14:55
painful thing. It was like alien blood
01:14:58
from the movie Alien. You could hear the
01:15:00
sizzle. You know what I mean? It is so
01:15:02
hot.
01:15:02
>> Yeah. This guy's a card that says he
01:15:04
survived the hot sauce.
01:15:05
>> Yeah. Yeah. It's a hot sauce.
01:15:06
>> Oh, he just he just tried it once.
01:15:08
>> Yeah, you get a card.
01:15:09
>> You get a card. I don't have the card.
01:15:11
We got to get you a card.
01:15:12
>> You got to get you got a guard, too.
01:15:13
Then
01:15:14
>> I'll go get a card with you. I'll go do
01:15:15
>> Would you try it?
01:15:16
>> Yeah. It's just going to be [ __ ] an
01:15:17
annoying painful.
01:15:18
>> It's going to ruin a part of your day.
01:15:19
>> Yeah.
01:15:20
>> We learned a lot. We learned that you're
01:15:22
going to be you're going to be getting a
01:15:24
six-pack.
01:15:25
>> I at the very least get a two pack. Get
01:15:27
a two pack shakur
01:15:29
from doing setups. I think you can.
01:15:32
>> I think you really can. If you're really
01:15:34
doing 150 a day.
01:15:36
>> Yeah.
01:15:37
>> No, just in the morning.
01:15:38
>> In the morning.
01:15:38
>> He said more.
01:15:39
>> What are you doing in the afternoon? I
01:15:40
tried to do a thousand.
01:15:41
>> Oh,
01:15:44
>> I can you videotape it?
01:15:46
>> No.
01:15:47
>> Because I want proof.
01:15:48
>> Well, I mean hopefully it'll show on my
01:15:50
body.
01:15:50
>> I don't think it will.
01:15:52
>> You don't think it will?
01:15:52
>> I don't.
01:15:53
>> You don't think sit-ups that m many
01:15:55
times?
01:15:55
>> I think you count one and then you lay
01:15:57
there for 10 minutes and you think, "Oh,
01:15:59
I did 200."
01:16:02
>> You think I'm some sort of Asian math?
01:16:04
>> Yes.
01:16:05
>> You guys are tricky.
01:16:06
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:16:07
>> Well, I can't wait to see it. I want to
01:16:09
see the results. Well, maybe you won't.
01:16:11
>> Maybe I won't.
01:16:12
>> Yeah, maybe you won't.
01:16:14
You know what I mean? Because it's
01:16:16
condescending and it's it's negative.
01:16:17
AND
01:16:18
>> WE'RE NOT DOING A THOUSAND [ __ ]
01:16:20
SETUPS.
01:16:20
>> IT'S DISRUPTIVE. It's disruptive. It's
01:16:23
not encouraging. You know what I mean?
01:16:25
It's
01:16:26
>> discouraging.
01:16:27
>> You're discouraging.
01:16:27
>> No, I said I want you to prove that
01:16:29
you're doing it.
01:16:30
>> Yeah. It's um
01:16:32
dra draconian.
01:16:34
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:16:36
>> It's draconian,
01:16:37
>> is it?
01:16:37
>> Yeah. Yeah. Harsh.
01:16:39
>> It's harsh. Jirconian.
01:16:40
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:16:43
Yeah. Another learn another word I
01:16:46
learned through the Tik Toks.
01:16:47
>> I was just going to say this is the war.
01:16:49
The war.
01:16:49
>> It's a war thing.
01:16:50
>> Thank you for being a bad friend.
01:16:52
>> It's a war.
01:16:53
>> It's a war thing.
01:17:04
Woo.
01:17:09
Woo!
01:17:12
Yeah!
