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Hey, Bad Friends. I'm doing a bunch of shows. First off, Bobby and I, the Bad
00:00:05
Friends Live, are going to be uh at Netflix as a jokefest here in Los Angeles at the YouTube theater down by
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SoFi. That's May 8th. Get your tickets right now. Then I'll be down in Delmare
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at the Sound in San Diego, bro. Surf's up. June 28th, I'm doing two shows early
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in a late show. And then July 24th, I'm at the Star Casino in St. Charles, Missouri, which might as well be St.
00:00:24
Louis, Missouri. Come out and see me. Go to Andrewsantino.com for those tickets.
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Andrewsino.com. Hey everybody, Bobby Lee here. You know, um I I shot a special and so I'm going
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to do the finally tour before the special comes out. I want to be in Detroit 424, Indianapolis 425, Montlair
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51, um Atlantic City 52. Just go to my website and check out the other day. It's Medford 53, San Antonio 515, and go
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check it out. Uh my it's going to be a theater tour, my first one. And come see
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me live. Go to bobbye.live. You two are bad friends. >> Who are these two idiots?
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>> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. >> You two are something.
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>> We're bad friends. >> It smells like dog food in here. >> Yep.
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>> Rook. >> Bobby just got here. >> I just got here. Um I yelled at um the
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host for putting the mic stand low. You know how they try to get a laugh? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
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>> Cuz I'm small. >> I've done I've do that. >> I know. And it makes me so angry. But I
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won't yell at you. But I went, "If you ever do that again, I'll rip you."
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>> Oh, I've gotten that from you. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> The low voice.
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>> Because it's because it's it's it's trying to get a laugh that I'm sure,
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right? But it's not my laugh. >> It's their laugh. >> You know what I mean? It's the residue
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laugh. >> Yeah. Leftover laugh. >> Yeah. It's leftover laugh when they're
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not even on stage. They try to get a laugh. >> Yeah. >> And they're in the back going
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>> I made the mic store. You know, I bet you Brad gets that. Williams. >> Oh, dude. I do the opposite for him.
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When Brad follows me in the store, I put it as high as I can. >> That's See, that's the same thing.
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>> It's the same thing. >> But it's funny >> for you. >> For all of us.
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>> For Brad, it's >> For Brad, it's a whole extra thing he has to do.
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>> That's funny, dude. >> For me, it's a You know what I mean? I
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have I get a laugh, but then I have to go I'm small >> and do that face like the world God made
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me, >> right? And then Brad has to bring it down. >> Yeah, it's funny.
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>> It's for for the person before. But it's not our laugh. >> All right. You know what? We're not
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going to do any No more funny stuff. >> No more comedy. >> Okay. >> I think we're done with comedy.
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>> Yeah. >> All weekend long. >> All weekend long. >> That's not what I'm saying. What I'm
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saying is is that >> No, Brad left his toothbrush here at the studio. >> He did. Yeah. And his pen. And his pen.
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>> And his pen. Another thing is um get it off your chest. >> When like one time I was in the O and
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Steve Burn halfway during myself grabbed the mic from the side of the stage and w
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w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w walked up on stage and then goes let's
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do a duo. Let's play with a crowd. And that made me so mad. >> This is very funny. You know, he at San
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Francisco at the last time I just played punch, he showed up and he came on stage
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at the end of my >> Did you ask him to come up or did he just come up on stage?
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>> He just came up. >> No. Are you being real? >> I'm being serious.
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>> Yeah. Yeah. >> But I welcomed it with open arms. I thought it was
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>> Yeah, I don't welcome open arms. >> You didn't want it. >> He's half Korean.
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>> Oh, he's not a full Yeah, you got to be a fully to pull that kind of stunt. You
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got to be a full Yeah, you got to be a full I actually totally agree. >> Yeah. Yeah. It No, because it's like I'm
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in the middle of a setup and all of a sudden, what's up? without asking. And
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it's just like I I don't like that. >> Also, from a from a outsers's
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perspective, it looks like your Korean uncle who's got it together cuz he wears
00:03:45
a suit is coming to like >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Like talk you down a little bit. Let me
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do comedy for you. Yeah. >> Cuz you wears suits and we wear clothes. >> Yeah. I also don't like this. I just
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realized. Right. >> Give it to me. Give me the idol. >> I'm going to give you the the feature
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smile. >> What is it? So what what happens is you're you're backstage
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>> because I just played the San Jose improv and Ramsay Badawi had a really
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good set before me. >> And so there's a curtain and he opens it and he has a smile
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>> at you. >> Yeah. Like he knows he killed, >> right? >> Oh yeah.
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>> And he go if you do feature smiles again. >> No feature smiles. >> No, no, no. I need a frown.
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>> I know how well you did. I heard it. I tell my features, "No smiling at all. No
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comedy." I say, "Go up there, say hello." >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Tell people where you're from. Yeah.
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>> Tell them the favorite foods you have. >> Yeah. >> And that's it. And then get off. Yeah.
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>> Bring up the headliner. >> And then the last thing I want to Can I
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just get off my chest? >> I love stuff on your chest. >> Pause. >> Yeah. Yeah.
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>> Are you being real? >> Yeah. I want you to get it off your chest.
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>> Okay. So, um, >> what? >> I hate needy hosts. M >> was that good funny? No, I had a local,
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you know, nice girl. She's already I already brutally, you know what I mean?
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Verbalized it to her. >> Well, then so should we be talking about it? >> Yeah. Well, I I could just be vague
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about it. >> It's going to ruminate feelings again then for her. She's going to hear this
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100% and be like, "That's about me." >> No, maybe it's going to teach her a
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lesson. >> Teach. >> Did she bomb? No, no, she did great. >> Oh, well then okay.
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>> No, she did great. I think she has a future. >> I do. >> Okay.
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>> Yeah, >> you're not selling me on it. >> Yeah. Yeah, but can I
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>> be a car salesman? She has a future. >> Well, how is this? Welcome to open mic
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night lot. >> What? >> The open mic night lot. >> Oh, it's at the lot.
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>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We have many new new open up micers here. >> All new new.
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>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We've got um look at this uh one. This is a Oo, >> this one's called Catbird
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>> really quick. >> Snappy. >> Yeah. And it's like, you know, I mean,
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and it's an engine that grows. >> Yeah. Yeah. You know, I mean, it's a
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slim design, right? And it creates food. >> She was a chef. >> She No, she was married to a chef.
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>> No, she was a chef. She was a chef. >> She was a Michelin star chef.
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>> That's not true. >> She worked at Michelin star restaurants as a chef.
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>> That doesn't make you a Michelin star chef cuz you worked at a [ __ ]
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>> She pour water. >> Yeah. I I I water >> basil at the end. >> Yeah.
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>> The last line person that does the herbs or whatever. >> She go water up.
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>> Yeah. Scoop of uh >> scoop of caviar on top. >> Just one little caviar scoop.
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>> Yeah. Yeah. And the chef goes, "TOO MUCH CAVIAR. >> WHAT ARE YOU [ __ ] DOING?"
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>> YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. Um anyway, um >> get it off your chest. >> So this is Capper. Um this is another
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model we have. Okay. Is it? Yeah. >> Is it foreign? >> No, it's black. It's a black sleek
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color. Call it a Devontre. >> Oh, this is this is a good car. >> It's a gray car.
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>> Yeah. Fast. >> It's the It's also the bestselling. >> It's got to be. Yeah.
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>> Yeah. This car though. >> You're going to love this car. >> This car right here. Right.
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>> No. If it doesn't look like >> it asks a lot of questions. >> Too many questions.
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>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like Nightrider. >> It talks. It talks the whole time.
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>> It talks the whole time. You can't turn it off. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hello. You know what I
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mean? You're driving too fast. All the rules. You know what I mean? It talks a lot.
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>> It talks a lot. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's no off button. >> Oh, there's no switch.
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>> No. >> Unless you turn it off. >> Unless you're really >> Yeah. Maybe it's talking to itself at
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night. You know what I mean? >> But Yeah. Yeah. >> Maybe it'll run out of gas.
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>> But it's a lot of like, you know, I mean, you know, so what? How do I make
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it to this? How do I do this? >> Inquisitive. >> Inquisitive. Like, you know, I mean, how
00:07:47
do you make it? You know, I mean, who how do I get an a agent? this and that, you know what I mean? And then it's
00:07:52
like, you know, you have to go, "Hey, hey, hey, stop. You have to have that conversation of
00:08:00
like, you know, you know, >> I'm the polar opposite." I'm like, "I'll
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give you an Excel spreadsheet on how to do everything that you're asking me to
00:08:06
do." >> No, I did. I I I did tell her what to do. >> You do. You give her the hints.
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>> Yeah, I gave her like this is what you do. And then I But I don't think that
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she got what I was saying. >> Well, you can lead a horse to water. Uh but it'll eventually be glue. That's
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>> That's what they say. That's the It's going to be It's going to be Meanwhile,
00:08:23
Carlos is wearing a win hat. >> Mhm. >> Yeah, cuz you guys were at the win.
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>> Do you bought that hat or they give us those hats? >> No, I bought it. I like I got the same
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one at Caesars years ago. >> I know. I remember. >> I like this specific hat.
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>> It's uh I have my Circus Circus hat at home. >> I should have brought it in.
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>> Fancy got that Stratosphere hat >> everywhere I go in the casino.
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>> Yeah. >> Where's [ __ ] Bobby, bro? Yeah. Yeah. >> Where's Bobby?
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>> I get that every time at the airport. >> Why can't we make a shirt that says
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where's Bobby? >> Where's Santino? >> We should make sure to say where's
00:08:55
Bobby. >> Yeah, >> we had a great time. By the way, I had an a conversation with my driver, my
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Uber driver on the way to the airport. So nice. So nice. But I was very tired. Yeah,
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>> we had a long weekend. I just kind of wanted to chill. >> And he was chatty chatty. He was
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inquisitive. He was chatty chatty bang bang. He was very inquisitive. >> You You don't know the rules?
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>> What do you mean? >> What you do? >> What do I do? I open with a statement.
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>> You say, "I don't want to talk." >> No. >> What do you say?
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>> Okay. Hey, dude. I'm going to be listening to music, so if you need
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anything, just, you know what I mean? Kind of put your hand up. >> But he was a fan.
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>> But my earphones aren't even on. >> Okay. So, the Uber driver, super nice
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guy. He's a big fan. Loves bad friends. Loves you. >> How do you know?
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>> He vocalized. >> Verbally >> or through hand language or >> nonverbal?
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>> It was non-verbal. Through facial expressions. He goes, "Bad friends."
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>> Yeah, that's verbal. >> He went, >> "Yeah, that's bad friends." Yeah. Yeah.
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Okay. >> No, this is bad friends. And >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, he did that.
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>> He said he loved us. >> Yeah. >> And then he was talking and I said he
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was talking. He was like, "Oh, I just drove back from LA." Blah blah blah blah
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blah. >> He's like, "I've been in the car for like 30 hours or something like that." I
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was like, "Oh, that's crazy." And he said, "I got a gift sent to me from my
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home country for my sister's wedding or something. I had to go pick it up." I
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said, "Oh, that's cool. Where where originally from?" uh Pakistan and
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immediately I'm in like a mood like he's trying to talk about and I just all I
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kept thinking about was those videos from Pakistan that's like do you love Pakistan
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>> do you know those videos and I started talking to him he goes I love those
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videos one day I'm going to be pilot I dude what will you do for Pakistan and
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so I'm literally just yelling at him like that in the car I'm not even letting get another word out I keep
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going I love Pakistan is great and then he goes I have no problem with that I'm
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Pakistani I have Indian friends and >> he so he's opened up this gate. I'm like
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oh no I just think the videos are funny. He's like no but I understand there's a
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lot of hatred in the world right now as far as and I was like oh no I think he >> oh no
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>> and he goes and I'm Muslim and he goes my barber is Jewish and I was and then
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he start keep talking I go Jewish barber >> out of have you ever Jewish barber?
00:11:05
>> Yeah. >> Is that a thing? >> Yeah. >> I mean how what a disappointment for the
00:11:08
family. Does that Jewish barber go to another an American barber to attack the Muslim guy?
00:11:16
>> No. But he says, "I'm Muslim." And he goes, "Well, I'm not a practicing."
00:11:19
>> Yeah. >> He's like, "I'm not like, you know, praying five times a day." And then that
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logged in my brain for the rest of the time. I couldn't hear what he said. Five
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times is a lot of times >> a day. He says he prays five times a day. >> Not anymore. He c it's exhausting.
00:11:31
>> Yeah. >> But also, why would they do that? Why not breakfast, lunch, and dinner? It's
00:11:35
called Fajir, Sunrise, Dur, Assur, Mghreb, and Issha. >> But the thing is is that it can be
00:11:41
quick. >> All right. Do a prayer right now. Go. >> That's it. >> I mean,
00:11:49
>> wait, you are facing east. So, >> yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that how quick
00:11:52
was that prayer? >> That was really good. >> And if I did that five times,
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>> imagine I mean I mean it's over. >> If Bobby If Bobby was Muslim
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>> Yeah. >> and had to pray. Yeah. >> You know the little rug that they have?
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>> Oh, yeah. Imagine how he would have the most like fancy vintage cool rug. He
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would have to have the dopest rug out of all the rugs. >> It would be the high-end Monontlair rug.
00:12:16
>> It would be a fancy coat. Yeah. Yeah. >> Is that a Goyard prayer rug?
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>> Yeah. It would be the dope. >> You would have a fancy rug. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And
00:12:24
different brands though, too. I would do a Balenciaga a Balenciaga rug. You know
00:12:29
what I mean? just for like a a Friday. I'm about clubbing, you know what I mean? I would have a Monontlair one. I
00:12:35
would have a um if Golden Goose had a rug, that'd be cool. >> I guarantee you they'd make
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>> And then a made one rug where it's like kind of tattered and looking old school
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like, >> you know what I mean? From like a 50s. >> It's a vintage.
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>> It's a vintage but brand new rug. >> Let's get you Muslim, dude.
00:12:51
>> Yeah, I'll get Muslim. >> Sign up. Sign up and go Muslim. Why not?
00:12:54
>> Well, five times is a lot, you know? It's just a lot of times to stop and
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roll out to it's it >> I would probably go Zoroastriism. >> There's only like 600 of them on planet
00:13:04
Earth. And I don't know exactly what they practice, but that seems like what
00:13:08
it's also before Christ. >> You mean so before Christianity? >> You mean BC?
00:13:14
>> Yeah, BC. So it's like um I think I would go with Zoro. >> That's how cocky Christians are. What
00:13:20
>> they name time before their own time, but it's still their time. >> Exactly. BC still is us. You're like,
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"Well, Christ not exist yet." Like, I know, but it's still our time
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>> cuz it's always been. >> That's awesome. >> I mean, how do you feel about um I think
00:13:32
I'm being affected about the world around me. What's the war and all that
00:13:36
stuff you know? >> I was at Marshmallow nightclub last night. >> I don't know what's going on in the
00:13:42
world, dude. >> We went out till 4:30, 5 in the morning. >> Yeah. >> Unbeliev What are we doing? We were at
00:13:47
They were like, "You want to go to Marshmallow?" I was like, I Yeah, I
00:13:50
guess. >> Yeah. Wow. You went to Marshmallow, huh? >> I didn't go to that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he
00:13:54
went to his room. >> I went to Sprinkles. >> I got cupcakes. >> You do?
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>> Yeah. >> I see the Sprinkles in San Jose. The Sprinkles cupcake vending machines.
00:14:03
There's no way they're making money. You don't want to buy it out of
00:14:05
>> No, no, no. That's How long has it been in there? >> It has closed down.
00:14:08
>> Yeah. >> Oh, it's closed down. >> They're all closed.
00:14:10
>> LA. >> But do you buy do you buy um like headphones from the from the kiosk?
00:14:14
>> So, one time I did have to buy because I forgot mine on a long trip. So, and I
00:14:19
thought, who's buying it? I was >> I was a guy. People And I'm sitting there too and I'm
00:14:25
ashamed. People People passing by like, "Dude, who buys that? What are you doing?"
00:14:30
>> But imagine like, you know, like when you buy a candy bar and it gets stuck,
00:14:33
right? You're like, "It's 60 cents, right?" But an AirPod, >> but dude, an AirPod, a Bose, you know
00:14:38
what I mean? AirPods. That's $300. Imagine that getting stuck and you're
00:14:42
like banging up the [ __ ] machine. It's $300. >> You're buying meta glasses and they're
00:14:47
stuck. >> Imagine. Imagine a kid getting stuck in there. You know how they do in [ __ ]
00:14:52
those um crawl the machine. The cray machine. >> How do they get >> some nerd is in there? Yeah. Yeah. Some
00:14:56
nerd kid is in there. You know what I mean? >> Some sweet little nerd. >> Yeah. Wow.
00:15:03
>> Wait. So San Jose was good, >> you know? >> You love it up there.
00:15:07
>> Well, I mean I played that room for over 20 years and it's like it's very
00:15:10
comfortable. But it's, you know, it's the same thing where it's like
00:15:13
>> I got to do that place. >> Yeah. It's a great club. >> I never done it.
00:15:16
>> Wow. >> I know. I just never did an improv run. >> Wow. Oh, it's it's a theater. You'll
00:15:21
love it. >> No, no, I just mean I've only done a few improvs. I never really did a bunch of
00:15:24
improvs. Yeah. >> But you used to do that all the time. >> I'm I'm an improv guy.
00:15:28
>> But you used to do San Jose like twice a year >> sometimes. Yeah.
00:15:31
>> It's crazy. >> It's a great audience. But um you know how um I've been going to the comedy
00:15:36
store for so long that when I go in there, I feel nauseous. >> Well, what do you mean? Cuz it's I cuz
00:15:45
I've been there so long that it just kind of makes me want to go this again.
00:15:50
>> What? >> Yeah. Like there's a nausea that happens. >> You're losing the love of the store.
00:15:54
>> No, I I've always loved it, but it's just like it's like, you know, um going
00:15:58
into your living room. >> I love my living room. >> Oh, you do. You don't feel nauseous?
00:16:03
>> Sick in my house. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You can experience nausea from visiting
00:16:06
the same place repeatedly due to several factors and condition responses, environmental triggers.
00:16:09
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I've had a lot of trauma at the store back in the day. I I
00:16:13
don't know. There's just something about that. But but San Jose improv has the
00:16:18
same effect. >> You get nauseous when you go >> when I walk into the I just feel
00:16:21
nauseous. >> Well, that's not good. >> It's not good. It's just because I've
00:16:24
been going there for so long and it's just like >> you should stop then.
00:16:28
>> Well, no. I mean, maybe I'm day nine not smoking. >> You guys come on. That's it.
00:16:35
>> That's a huge deal. >> Day nine is I think they say what's the
00:16:39
day that you stop? What's like the crest? What day is like you finally get over the hump of not smoking? It's got
00:16:44
to be like two weeks. You got to be getting close. I want this for you so bad. After the first week, okay, so 7 to
00:16:52
10 days is is when you're going to start to clear up and then two to four weeks,
00:16:55
you're going to be clean, ready to rock and roll. >> Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, um maybe that had
00:16:59
something to do with it, but there's always a kind of a it's it's um
00:17:06
also what bum me out was so the Friday fur show um you know it's a theater so it's like I I go to the
00:17:15
balcony and it's empty. >> What do you mean? >> No one's there.
00:17:21
>> The show's not on yet? >> No, it's starting >> and you're on the B and No one So it's
00:17:25
not sold out upstairs. it. They said it's all sold out. >> People buy tickets that don't show up
00:17:30
all the time. >> I know, but what happened was um this is a date a year ago. I never just showed
00:17:35
up. I just didn't show up. >> You rescheduled it. >> Yeah. So, it was rescheduled. So, all
00:17:41
the tickets from that >> ah >> transferred over this. Right. So, like a
00:17:45
lot of people just didn't show up. >> Yeah. >> Right. And I um it bummed me out.
00:17:49
>> I understand. Oh, >> the co the [ __ ] cookies. Look at the cookies they little made for me in the
00:17:54
show was really nice. This one's kind of my favorite. I'm not going to lie.
00:17:58
>> Well, I'll have the one with me on it. >> You know what's so funny about this
00:18:00
cookie? That's old Bob. Do you notice that? >> That's old Bob with long hair. Old Bob.
00:18:04
And I saw a video of you posted on the internet with old hair. Old Bob hair. >> Yeah.
00:18:09
>> And it made me miss the long hair. >> I'm growing it up. >> You have to.
00:18:11
>> I am. >> Cuz I love when you have long hair. >> I I am. I'm growing up
00:18:15
>> cuz old bob hair. I like that when it was that long. Like >> Oh, it's Oh, it's going to be long.
00:18:19
>> There's videos when we first started this podcast. >> Yeah. >> Your hair was insane. Your hair was
00:18:23
insane. >> I know. You know who didn't get high this weekend? Carlos. He was a good boy
00:18:26
in Vegas, no less. >> He does it behind your back. >> No, he doesn't. He does.
00:18:30
>> I smoked weed. Remember I told you I was vaping it in the room. >> You were? Yeah, I told you. You said
00:18:36
you're not doing anything. >> What kind of boss are you, dude? >> Well, not a good one.
00:18:41
>> Yeah, you're right. Right behind your back. He even says it to you and you
00:18:43
don't even [ __ ] listen. >> Well, I'm a great boss. >> No, you're not a great boss.
00:18:47
>> NO, I'M A GOOD BOSS. >> NO, you're not a good boss, DUDE. HE'S
00:18:49
LIKE A GOOD BOSS. Your your employee goes, "Hey, hey, boss. I'm smoking weed
00:18:53
right in front of your face. >> Yeah. >> And you're like, "He didn't do any drug
00:18:56
this weekend." Yeah. Yeah. >> You'd be a bad dad, dude. >> I'm trying to I would not be a bad
00:19:00
>> Yeah. You're a bad dad, dude. >> Oh, you know why? Because I'm cool.
00:19:02
Okay, I'm You know what? >> I know. Here's here's the problem.
00:19:05
Here's the problem. >> Yeah. >> When he vapes, I don't know if it's weed
00:19:09
or if it's vape. >> He just said he told you you he was doing it. >> I was not paying attention. I WAS BUSY.
00:19:16
>> WAIT, WAIT. How did you say it? >> I'm Andrew. Now, look at me.
00:19:20
>> Look at me. Right. Okay. >> And what is Andrew doing? >> Andrew goes, "You're being a good boy,
00:19:24
right?" And I go, "Oh, yeah. Okay. Let me You're being a good boy, right?"
00:19:27
>> He goes, "Uh, no." I forget what else he says, but I go, "Let me just say it the
00:19:30
way you >> Okay. >> Who cares what he says? >> Let him play the scene."
00:19:33
>> Yeah. Yeah. Let me play the scene, right? >> All right. You're Andrew.
00:19:35
>> Yeah. Yeah. You're being a good boy, huh? >> Your your lip is bleeding.
00:19:39
>> Oh. >> Yeah. Put some blood on your lip. >> Yeah. >> It's fine. Go.
00:19:44
>> No. I I need blood. >> You got it. See, he This is >> I need
00:19:48
>> An actor prepares. >> Yeah. Yeah. I need >> An actor prepares. Isn't there some red
00:19:51
there? >> Yeah. >> You're being a good boy, huh? >> No, I'm just vaping weed. Don't worry
00:20:03
about it. >> That's what you did. >> I was worried about my show. I was
00:20:07
thinking about the set. >> What did I really say when you told me you were vaping?
00:20:11
>> You said that that was worse than smoking joints. >> Yeah, it is. What's in those [ __ ]
00:20:16
things? >> Oh, so then you did know. You're being So, you lied to me. No, I just forgot.
00:20:22
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00:20:46
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for free shipping and 365day returns. >> quint.com/badfriends. >> I'm like at the San Jose Improv, right?
00:24:05
They have a security guy that walks me to my hotel and I'm like I stop. >> Yeah, but they do that for they do
00:24:13
>> I don't need I know where to go. >> Yeah, but you're easily attackable.
00:24:17
>> No, dude. >> People attack you all the time. But but before like the other rest of the day
00:24:23
>> you're free. >> I'm just walking around alone in the same areas and stuff like that. Why in
00:24:28
this specific incident? >> Because you're under their toutelage right there. You're under there they if
00:24:32
you got hurt it'd be on them during that when they're done with you. >> I think once I get out of the club it's
00:24:36
free. >> I agree. >> Yeah. Yeah. I think it's like you know what I mean? Our responsibility is over.
00:24:40
>> You like it? >> I I don't cuz I always tell him like you please just stay here.
00:24:45
>> But he does like to um smoke. Back in the day, he would smoke behind the
00:24:49
security guard and walk and very like like gallivant behind the security and like dart his noise. I did it. You never
00:24:54
sultry. Yeah, you did. When we were on tour, you'd be walking behind the security and you do this. You'd be like
00:24:59
sexually smoking. >> No, you never SEE ME DO THAT. >> YES, YOU WOULD.
00:25:02
>> YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF. >> EVERYONE'S NODDING. EVERYONE'S [ __ ]
00:25:05
NODDING. >> YOU You're pissing me off. I've never done that. >> You would romantic.
00:25:10
Okay, dude. I've never done this. >> That's not the face. No, don't do
00:25:14
>> All right. What are you doing? No, you you would like cool like very >> but I I'm you're you're doing this with
00:25:19
your hand. >> You do when you walk with No, I don't. Do I Do I >> When you walk with your cigarette, you
00:25:23
kind of bob a little bit when you walk and then you'll smoke and then your eyes
00:25:26
will be darting all romantic. >> I'm listening to the Doobie Brothers or
00:25:29
something. No, you're not. >> Yeah. Yeah. I bop, dude. I bop when I listen to the Doobie Brothers.
00:25:33
>> You're dooop. >> Listen to the music, >> dude. So, it's like I'm doobie
00:25:39
brothering it. >> It's romantic, though. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like And I
00:25:42
don't know if that's a security guard. You're saying that behind the security
00:25:45
guard. I'm doobie brother. >> You would dub brother. >> All right. Okay.
00:25:49
>> So, anyway, I took mushrooms last night. >> Can you put that in? >> I Yeah, I felt amazing. It was
00:25:54
>> When was the last time you took mushrooms? >> Couple weeks ago. >> Oh, but was it a more of a dosage?
00:26:01
>> This one was higher. >> Yeah, much higher. >> Yeah, because I've been micro doing.
00:26:04
>> Oh, you've been ming for my mental health. I'm genuinely happy.
00:26:07
>> And I I heard it helps. >> Uh I do feel much better at night. >> Yeah. When I micro dose, I do feel like
00:26:14
the end of the day, I don't have as much anxiety before I go to bed because I
00:26:17
used to lay in wake in bed at night. >> I haven't come 3 weeks. >> Start micro doing, dude.
00:26:22
>> Yeah. Yeah. Because of Alexa Pro. >> Wait, really? >> Yeah.
00:26:24
>> So, you can't nut? >> I can't cut. >> What comes out?
00:26:27
>> I can't nut. Nothing. I mean, I haven't even tried. >> Really?
00:26:32
>> Yeah. It's weird. >> Do they they have something to combat that? They do. No. One, two, three.
00:26:38
Blue. Now, blue two gold. Yeah. An oxin and molo. It's the main ingredient. Anoxin.
00:26:50
>> The two ones that I can't say. >> No, I did. And I watched I watched my
00:26:54
cousin play roulette. Uh, and I was feeling fantastic. >> Oh, your cousin was there.
00:26:57
>> Yeah. >> Was he juicing too or what? >> He was having a great time.
00:27:00
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> He is. >> He's so funny. >> But then when I was using in Mexico, we
00:27:06
weren't doing that. >> Oh, yeah. >> Who? You and I. We were not having a
00:27:10
good time when you were using in Mexico because >> Yeah, but because why is it not like why
00:27:13
couldn't we have those >> because you're a drug addict and you have no control
00:27:17
>> because you you you don't use until you get high and feel good. You use until
00:27:21
it's uh unmanageable, till there's poop on the walls and you're screaming and
00:27:25
you're pointing in my face in front of people going, "You [ __ ] lied. This is
00:27:30
this has no booze in it. You [ __ ] liar in front of everyone." >> You know who I am? You I mean I'm I'm uh
00:27:35
I'm Ren from Ren and Stimpy. >> Yep. Yeah, you are. >> Yeah. Is Stimpy the dog? Ren's the dog,
00:27:41
right? >> Ren's a little weird dog. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm Because I love Ren
00:27:44
because Ren's so paranoid. >> Yeah, that's Yeah. >> You know what I mean? And he gets in
00:27:48
people's faces and he has these delusions, you know what I mean? >> And I I love that character.
00:27:53
>> Somehow you're both of these guys. >> I think so. I think I am random and
00:27:56
simp. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> But I love that cartoon. But anyway, um
00:28:01
yeah, I I ran out when I I'm like >> It's just when you you're up you're up
00:28:05
to something. >> No. And then you pointed in my face and yelled at me in front of everyone
00:28:08
because you wanted booze and I lied to you and I got you. >> Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm no dumb dumb.
00:28:13
>> I know what you're doing. >> But you were so [ __ ] up. >> I know. But I know what you're doing.
00:28:16
>> Well, protecting you. >> Yeah. Yeah. But I can I'll just get my
00:28:19
own drink. >> I mean, you flew to Mexico with a suitcase full of >> full of drugs. Filled of drugs. You open
00:28:25
your suitcase >> and I guess what? I flew back with no drugs. >> Yes.
00:28:28
>> Yeah. Because of us. >> No, I did it all. >> Okay. >> Okay.
00:28:33
>> You're right. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's called magic. >> That is called magic
00:28:37
>> in a weird way. Okay. So, it's like But we never had that. When next time I go
00:28:43
out. >> No, you're not going. >> Yeah. Yeah. No. No. Shut the [ __ ] up.
00:28:46
All right. I'm tired of this [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm boss, too. >> All right.
00:28:50
>> You're boss number two. >> Yeah. I'm like the vice president.
00:28:53
>> Yeah. >> I'm JD Vance. >> You kind of are. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:28:57
>> A little fancy. >> Yeah. You know, >> you're not going to go out.
00:29:00
>> What I'm saying is the next time I go out, you know what I mean? God forbid it
00:29:03
doesn't happen, right? I want a night I want to go to Marshmallow. >> Okay.
00:29:08
>> You can go to Marshmallow without using >> No, no. No. I want to go to Marshmallow.
00:29:11
I want to be on Shrooms. I want to be on Ketamine. You know what I mean? I want Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want to go to
00:29:15
Vegas. I want to be able to like walk out of a [ __ ] bathroom and go. Are you okay?
00:29:22
>> You know what I mean? But actually have cocaine in my nose. >> No.
00:29:25
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want that next time. It's never going to happen, but
00:29:30
hypothetically it could. And what I'm saying is is that the next time don't
00:29:33
cut me out. >> I won't. >> Cuz the last time I went out, you cut me
00:29:37
out. You were all being parental. >> Yeah, cuz you were you were >> It doesn't matter. No, I want good
00:29:42
times. >> Carlos. Carlos. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Oh, so you're mad that we were
00:29:46
protecting you. >> I don't want to be protected, dude. I No, I want to go to Marshmallow, you
00:29:50
know. I mean, I want to go out with Andreas, you know what I mean? And have those times.
00:29:53
>> We can do it without alcohol. >> No, no, no. Next time. No, we can't have
00:29:57
those times because I'm all [ __ ] Christian on the road now. You're not
00:30:00
Christian on the >> Yeah. Yeah. But I'm like I'm going to bed now.
00:30:03
>> Yeah, but we did that too. I do that. >> I know you eventually did, but like I do
00:30:06
it at like 11. >> Yeah. >> You know, so my point being is is that you know you guys can have your all your
00:30:13
Vegas night life and still and I I get cut out when I'm out. >> Well, it's cuz you can't because you're
00:30:19
>> Yes, I can. >> You're a drug addict. >> It's a label and I refuse to believe it.
00:30:24
>> I know I am one. >> You are. >> I am. And I >> He is.
00:30:27
>> Yeah, >> I know. But he's not. But why is he okay? >> He's He's not okay. We're very control.
00:30:32
>> I KNOW. BUT THEN WHY WHEN I WHEN I wasn't okay? >> Because we care more about you than
00:30:37
Carlos. >> Cuz you make more money. >> That's the way the world works. You're
00:30:41
famous. You're worth more in this world. >> Oh, so if you passed away from an
00:30:44
overdose? >> No. If I like made a movie, all of a sudden y'all would like talk to me more
00:30:49
probably and care more about my health. >> I talk to you every day. I should have
00:30:53
said more about this bit is so stupid. We care about all of you equally. difference is you have control of your
00:30:58
addiction right now. >> He does not. >> I know, but >> but I can't do anything. What do you
00:31:02
want me to do with him? >> Fire him? >> Should we fire him? >> Maybe. Maybe when he's like, you know
00:31:08
what I mean? Hey, hey, Dad. >> I'm smoking weed right in front of you.
00:31:12
>> That's not bad though to just smoke weed. If I'm just smoking weed, that's
00:31:16
so chill. That's like going to war and just like showing up for a day with a
00:31:19
gun. >> Or you're like just outside of Car Island. >> Yeah. I It's
00:31:23
>> You're You're on a ship. You're a man. >> Yeah. Just >> you don't know if you're going to attack
00:31:27
Car Island yet. >> Is that what it is? >> I don't know what Car Island is.
00:31:32
>> Do you know what Car Island is? Oh, it's an island right there. That
00:31:36
>> one of your Antarctica theories. >> No, it's not a theory. >> It's an Iranian island. You mean they
00:31:43
have, you know what I mean? Um, oil reserves there and and >> Tik Tok is full of
00:31:47
>> You've been You've been watching so much. >> Like, I know how much Iran stuff you've
00:31:53
been looking at now. It's all day every day. I know. 24 hours a day. I mean, you
00:31:57
understand what I was saying before. >> You have to stop. >> Is there a Car Island?
00:32:00
>> Yes. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And what's on Car Island? >> Probably oil reserves.
00:32:04
>> Godzilla. >> Yeah. A bunch of sand. >> Yeah. Oh my god. Now he's being [ __ ]
00:32:08
racist. >> Stop. >> That's not racist. >> THERE'S MORE SAND. EVERYWHERE HAS SAND.
00:32:13
>> OKAY. >> There's oil reserves. >> Exactly. That's what I just said.
00:32:17
>> Target Island is a 7.7 square mile coral island in the Persian Gulf that serves
00:32:21
as Iran's primary oil export terminal. >> Right. And and and there's now like
00:32:26
questions if the US Marines are going to charge Car Island, take control of it, >> dude. So good. David Atenboroough has
00:32:34
the Marines chomp, you know. >> Yeah. I mean, I'm sorry. I'm consumed
00:32:40
about the war. >> Why? You're not a soldier. >> I'm an American citizen. I just paid
00:32:46
$130 at the pump. >> Okay. >> And I and I drive a moped. >> That's a lot, dude.
00:32:53
All right. Very fair. >> I drive a moped. >> Was that how much gas was? $130 to fill
00:32:57
up your tank. >> No, it was like 80 something. But I usually pay >> $80.
00:33:01
>> Yeah, but I used only pay and that's my my small car. $55. $50. >> Do you do the cheap gas?
00:33:07
>> No, I do the Supreme. >> Good. >> What does that mean? >> That's actually a really good question.
00:33:10
>> Yeah. Well, I mean I I never knew. Can you explain to me the three different
00:33:14
unled unleted premium and then Supreme? Can you >> Cool cars get the fancy one and the
00:33:19
shitty one? >> It's like air water. Oh, it is. No, tell tell me the difference cuz I don't know.
00:33:25
>> So, I will tell you. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> So, a combustion engine, right?
00:33:28
>> Well, explain that. >> Let's start with a car. >> So, a car.
00:33:37
>> Start with a car. Start with a car. >> Beep beep. >> Yeah. >> Vroom vroom.
00:33:39
>> Oh, okay. Beep beep vroom vroom. Okay. Hold on. >> So, a combustion engine, right? Little
00:33:44
explosions have to take place within these pistons, right? And these pistons that are in your car that fire that make
00:33:49
it go fast and have have torque, right, and have power and drive. >> Yeah.
00:33:54
>> Higher octane, right? The higher octane numbers, they fire at a cleaner and
00:33:59
faster rate. So faster, nicer cars like F1. They need highest octane levels. >> So they do Supreme,
00:34:05
>> they do their own. They have a different octane. They have octane that we can't
00:34:08
get. F1 gas. >> How do we I need that? >> How did we get that? >> I don't think your moped can handle
00:34:14
that. >> It can. No. >> Oh, all right. All right. >> I doubt it.
00:34:18
>> Yeah. >> No, but it's higher octane gas. It burns cleaner and it fires. It fires cleaner
00:34:21
and it's al cleaner for the engine. Higher octane, but it's more expensive.
00:34:25
>> But that's what it is. >> That's essentially why people do that.
00:34:29
>> All right. So, >> but people who have like a just a luxury car like say someone has a BMW,
00:34:35
>> okay, >> and just a regular BMW and they put in the most expensive, highest octane,
00:34:41
>> it's meaningless. they should just put him. The only reason you would need a
00:34:45
higher octane level in your car is if your engine requires a a higher minimum because of the performance of the
00:34:52
engine. So performance cars need them. >> So in when my my Hyundai, >> you know what I mean?
00:34:57
>> Your moped >> in my moped, right? >> I put Supreme in, right? Just thinking
00:35:02
that it's better for the engine or whatever. It's pointless. >> No, it is hypothetically better for the
00:35:08
engine. It's going to burn cleaner. Well, don't then Well, then that I'll
00:35:11
just keep doing that. >> But it's not going to make your engine any It's not going to make your your
00:35:14
It's not going to make your moped go faster. >> I I'm not trying to go vroom v room v
00:35:17
room v room v room v room v room v room v room v room v room. >> So So then put in the cheapest.
00:35:19
>> Yeah, but I want my engine to be healthy. >> It's not even your car.
00:35:22
>> Oh, that's right. >> Yeah, you're going to give it back. >> I am giving it back.
00:35:25
>> Yeah, don't do that. Who cares if it's a lease, by the way, to every American. If
00:35:27
it's a lease, [ __ ] put the shittiest gas in there you can find. Go to Sinclair where the dinosaur is where
00:35:32
it's like $186. Real [ __ ] >> I go to the tarpets. >> I scoop it. I scoop it. I stick it in
00:35:40
the >> manually do it. >> Yeah, I manually do it. >> This is the funniest thing about the
00:35:45
cookies that I'm ging on because they're delicious. Yeah. >> Is they were like doing shout out to,
00:35:49
you know, they did white noise cookie, the whiskey ginger, they did bad. >> Yeah, but you did the John Cena movie.
00:35:54
>> What do you mean? We're never going to be cool leads in a thing. >> Yeah, but people think that you're cool
00:35:58
already. >> Whom? >> I'm sorry. When you were in Vegas, did no one come up to your show up to your
00:36:06
show and buy a ticket? Well, Carlos can actually tell you unfortunately nobody came.
00:36:11
>> [ __ ] bummer, man. >> Yeah, it was a huge >> Oh, it was a bummer. Yeah.
00:36:14
>> Oh, my bad. >> We went out for a nice little fancy dinner. >> We had a great little dinner.
00:36:18
>> Carlos paid the bill. >> That's unbelievable. >> He paid the bill
00:36:23
>> through my tour money. >> You haven't paid me yet. >> We haven't even started
00:36:29
>> through my tour tour money. >> Yeah, we You haven't paid me yet.
00:36:32
>> But but your f future tour money. >> I paid him. Hey, my my future tumor.
00:36:37
>> I paid Delilah with future money. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That which is my
00:36:40
money. >> Yeah. I said Bobby will pay you in four months. >> Yeah. Yeah. So I pay for your dinner.
00:36:43
>> Hey. >> Yeah. >> You know he didn't pay for the dinner.
00:36:46
>> You know damn well. >> In fact, I don't think any of them have
00:36:50
paid for the dinner. >> I have paid for dinner before. >> Which one?
00:36:53
>> Wait a minute. Time out. Before you get it, what are you raising your hand for?
00:36:55
When have you paid for a dinner? >> I paid for our breakfast one time. >> When?
00:36:59
>> When? I was over there at the white place with the with the uh with the with
00:37:04
the weird square. >> Oh, you and him. Was it a cool clan rally? What? What?
00:37:08
>> No, we we >> I definitely wasn't there with the white hoods and the white faces. Yeah. I mean,
00:37:13
where'd you go? >> Let's get ginger one day. >> But cuz I didn't have my wallet or
00:37:16
something. >> No, you were like, "You're paying today." I said, "Okay."
00:37:19
>> Oh, okay. Good. That's good. Good. Have you ever paid a meal for me?
00:37:23
>> We don't We've We've gone We've gotten food together once.
00:37:26
>> That's so not true. Just me and you together. >> Which one? Where was it?
00:37:30
>> It was We You took me to sushi around my birthday. >> Where was it?
00:37:34
>> And then we went to see the Mission Impossible. >> That's right. We've done stuff together.
00:37:38
>> I know. That was one thing. >> One time. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. It was one time.
00:37:40
>> But a great one. >> Oh, no. It was great. But yeah, of course. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't do like little
00:37:44
like, you know, I mean, white hats, white face, you know what I mean? Breakfast places.
00:37:47
>> We don't do that at breakfast. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think you do a nice
00:37:50
sushi restaurant in a [ __ ] fine ass movie tickets, right? You I don't do white face, white head. You know what I
00:37:56
mean? Yeah. So, it's like >> Did you just fart? >> No, it was it was it was a
00:38:02
>> But yeah. Um, so you've car Andreas, have you ever paid for a meal?
00:38:08
>> I don't think so. I don't think we ever been to a meal together.
00:38:12
>> Well, as bad we have. >> As a group, we have a group. Yes. >> Yeah. Yeah. You don't think? Yeah.
00:38:16
Oneonone we've never had a meal together. >> No, I don't think we have that kind of
00:38:20
relationship. >> Yeah. >> He's just too cool for us now. He's got
00:38:24
a kid. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> He's over it. kind of makes me mad.
00:38:31
It's just that whole thing. You know, I'll be I'll be honest. I think it's on you.
00:38:35
>> No. >> Yeah. There's no You know, I call you a lot. You know what I mean? You only text me. I call
00:38:43
you a lot. You only text me. I think it's you. >> I know that's not true, but I'm just
00:38:49
going >> No, no, that really is. I call him a lot. >> About what? >> Yeah. About what?
00:38:53
>> Do I not call you? >> What's it about? >> You have called me, but about what? What
00:38:56
do you want to Why are you interested in me? >> Um, >> what are you, a girl?
00:39:02
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> Why do you like me, Bobby? >> Tell me why you like
00:39:05
>> Happy birthday >> text. >> Oh, that was a text. Yeah. Yeah. Um, you
00:39:11
mean What time is Bad Friends? >> Yes. Yeah. What time is Bad Friend? >> Yeah. And then,
00:39:15
>> but you have to read behind the context of it. >> He's saying more than just what time.
00:39:19
>> Yeah. Scramble the words. >> He forced me to say I love you in front
00:39:22
of his friends. >> Yeah. >> You should say I love you more. I mean, these are the things I'm talking about,
00:39:27
dude. It's like there's more resistance when it comes to you than me. >> Cuz he has a lot of repression. Fancy
00:39:32
has a lot of repression. >> Yeah. Repressed feelings, you know. >> He gets really uncomfortable.
00:39:35
>> And then when he got drunk, he got really touchy feely with me. >> Yeah.
00:39:39
>> Did you not? >> Mhm. >> And that's when your real self comes.
00:39:42
Well, the defense goes down. >> Yeah. >> And this is how I really feel.
00:39:46
>> Well, I'll tell you, he wants to be a star now cuz I pitched a little show
00:39:49
about me and him going to like a local bar. >> To me, like showing him what a local
00:39:53
watering hole is like. >> Yeah. And literally the other day after the episode, he's like, "Andrew,
00:39:56
>> when when are we going to do this show where you and I go to Dear?"
00:40:00
>> And whose name goes first? >> Whose name is on top? He literally he
00:40:03
wants to headline the show. >> Wow. >> And by the way, that only reminds me MCO
00:40:07
that breakfast. >> That reminds me. >> Yeah. >> This is the funniest part. I know that I
00:40:13
did that to you just to tease you, you know, just to be like, "Oh, you pay this
00:40:16
time." But I also know that stayed with you for a while. >> You've been thinking about it.
00:40:21
>> Yeah. How much was it? No, I was like, "No." How much was it?
00:40:24
>> Like $30. >> No, it wasn't much. But I was also It's way more than I would have spent on
00:40:28
breakfast, but I was like, "It's this is good." >> Can you talk to the mic?
00:40:32
>> I was also like, "This is a good this is a good thing." >> Why is it a good thing?
00:40:35
>> Because I cuz I get so much. It's nice to pay some back. >> Oh, I see.
00:40:38
>> Cuz he walks around like this all day. >> I know. >> Have I not given you cash before?
00:40:43
>> Yeah, you constantly give me >> Yeah, but you can't get me a breakfast.
00:40:46
>> I If you want to go out for breakfast. Yeah, sure. >> He does not want to go out for
00:40:49
breakfast. actually texted me the other day out of the blue. >> What' it say?
00:40:53
>> He said, "Uh, Marty Supreme is a film of two halves." >> That's true.
00:40:58
>> Yeah, >> that's actually a very true statement. >> What?
00:41:01
>> This is the New York Times. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> He's a critic.
00:41:06
>> No, I I mean, I watched the I watched the I mean, can I have not my own
00:41:10
opinion about the movie? >> It is a film of two. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I I thought that the
00:41:14
first half of the movie, right, was like brilliant. It was >> I thought the setup was good and then I
00:41:20
think it just ran away from itself. It became something else like there was a lot editing that needed to be go on or
00:41:28
whatever. >> Like get to the thing. >> There was a lot of other movies
00:41:31
>> other movies in there and it just I I got lost in it and you know at the end
00:41:35
of the day good movie but you know I mean it doesn't deserve any awards in my
00:41:40
opinion. Shopify. >> You know, we have an online business here at Bad Friends and we would not be
00:41:46
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>> Go to shopify.com/badfriends. >> That is shopify.com/badfriends. >> Marsman, you know what? I'm lacking.
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>> Yeah. >> What? >> I don't know. >> Testosterone >> a little bit.
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>> And after you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please
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support our show and tell them our show sent you. >> That's menows.com for 50% off and three
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free gifts when you check out. And it's also available on Amazon. >> I think the coolest thing is that Sean
00:44:25
Penn got award and didn't show up last Yeah, he was in Ukraine. >> He gave it to Zillinski.
00:44:29
>> Zinski, I love that. >> He gave him his Oscar and he carried it in like a Jan Sport backpack.
00:44:34
>> Yeah, that's amazing. >> Bubble wrapped. I thought that was like
00:44:36
the funniest. It's funny to take something that so many people cherish dear and throw it in like a trapper
00:44:41
keeper and give it to a [ __ ] Look at that. >> Show the video of him pulling out of a
00:44:45
backpack. It's hilar. >> It's like FIFA giving a um FIFA Nobel Peace Prize to [ __ ] Trump.
00:44:51
>> Remember that? >> Yeah. some makebelieve thing that they have never done before.
00:44:58
Sean Penn has a that there's a vibe about him that I kind of believe. >> Yeah,
00:45:03
>> I believe everything he is. I think he is extremely him. I don't think
00:45:08
>> Yeah. I I I I I don't think that during um hurricane um Katrina >> when he was diving into New Orleans and
00:45:15
trying to save people was >> he loves that [ __ ] >> I think he was really trying to save
00:45:18
lives. >> I think he loves that [ __ ] >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're saying it's not
00:45:21
performative with him? >> I don't think it's performative with him. You know what I mean? I think it's
00:45:23
just there's something's wrong. >> That's not wrong, but there's like
00:45:28
there's there's like a >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? >> An eccentric,
00:45:33
>> you know, personality disorder. >> 100%. >> Yeah. Where it's like he really believe
00:45:37
he went out there doesn't care about the leeches and saving lives. >> He gave the [ __ ] president of Ukraine
00:45:43
his own. Yeah. I mean, doesn't he have one already? >> Yes. Two. >> Two.
00:45:47
>> Yeah. So, where are we going to put it? next to the other one. >> I know, but it's like,
00:45:52
>> you know, >> you you would never my Oscar, >> you know what my Oscar would be?
00:45:58
>> Well, your Oscar is more like a >> Ask me where my Oscar is. >> That is a good joke.
00:46:01
>> Yeah, go ahead. >> I said your Oscar is more like a Juan. You'll never get an Oscar. You'll get a
00:46:06
Julio before you get an Oscar. >> Oh, that's mean. >> It's not true, though.
00:46:12
>> That's mean. >> You're never going to win a [ __ ] Oscar. Are you out of your mind?
00:46:15
>> I I I was just trying to make a hypothetical game about like I was just
00:46:19
having fun. I'm just digging you in. >> Yeah, but you know, >> give me your Oscar speech if you did
00:46:23
win. We shouldn't do Oscar jokes. This is so [ __ ] long ago. The Oscars. >> But yours would be at the front door
00:46:31
with lights. Yeah. >> Music every time. >> Right. As you open the door, it's like
00:46:42
and Bobb's like, >> "No, I would have a gigantic Oscar holding the Oscar."
00:46:46
>> Yes. Yeah. Yeah. >> That's actually awesome. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:50
>> That would And lights. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. But don't forget the gigantic
00:46:54
Oscar. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You ever walk into somebody's house?
00:46:58
You ever walk into somebody's house and they've got like Emmys plural, you know,
00:47:02
and you're like, >> "How did you get a [ __ ] Emmy?" >> I know. Yeah. Yeah.
00:47:05
>> Like you'll go to somebody's house who's like someone you know in the business
00:47:07
and you're like, "You got a [ __ ] Emmy?" >> Yeah. >> And they're like, "Yeah, we got three of
00:47:10
them. We did this outstanding non-scripted blah blah blah thing, daytime Emmy." And you're like,
00:47:16
>> they they give too many though. >> I know. But >> but I I saw I went to a guy's house and
00:47:21
like it was like on the bottom like there was a bunch of books. >> It was just the corner of a room. I go,
00:47:27
"What's that?" He goes, "It's an Emmy." >> That's crazy.
00:47:30
>> And I go, I would have Emmy on top of an Emmy >> inside of another Emmy.
00:47:36
>> Inside of another Emmy. You You know what it' be like? One of those Russian
00:47:40
dolls where you mean there'd be so many Emmys within Emmys. You know what I mean? Like, but
00:47:46
he just put it right in the corner of this like, you know, I mean, >> discreet, just doesn't care about it.
00:47:52
Rusting. I think that's cool. I think that's what I would do. How funny if it
00:47:56
if I did get nominated for something. >> I We would Well, I'd quit the show.
00:48:02
>> It would It would validate all my hate for the business. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah.
00:48:07
>> Really? >> Well, it's all [ __ ] >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That would be
00:48:09
definitely >> my friend Academy Award nominated. >> Well, I'll tell you why I won't. Even if
00:48:15
I do a good job at a movie, the reason why I won't is because I can't do the
00:48:18
thing that you need to do, >> which is >> which is go and shake hands and you know
00:48:23
what I mean? >> You're so good at that. >> No, I'm not. >> You are very
00:48:26
>> I don't show up to those things, >> but for this you would. >> Oh, you think you got to you got to go
00:48:31
to Paris and meet so and so and you got to do this and that. You think I would do all those things?
00:48:35
>> Yeah. Have you ever seen the movie Home for Porum? >> No. >> It's one of the best. That's like one of
00:48:39
the uh it's called uh That's not a mighty wind, is it? No, for your consideration. Sorry.
00:48:46
>> For your consideration. >> Yeah. >> This shitty little movie called Home for
00:48:49
Porum. Uh it's a movie inside of a movie and the cast thinks it's a shitterter
00:48:53
and then it gets um Oscar buzz that they might actually win. So then they all change. They all they dynamically all
00:48:59
change. Yeah. >> They become like so full of themselves and they all become the fakest version
00:49:03
of who they used to be. >> Oh, that's cool. >> Oh, it's brilliant. It's
00:49:06
>> Oh, wow. >> That's a um uh >> Yeah. >> What's his name movie? What's wrong with
00:49:10
Christopher Guest? >> Christopher Guest movie. Yeah, >> it really is.
00:49:12
>> Yeah. >> Oh, wow. Look at the cast, by the way. >> Yeah. >> Did we kill yet another celebrity?
00:49:18
>> Yeah, >> we did. Dude, we got to stop talking about famous people. We killed Chuck Norris.
00:49:24
>> No, we didn't kill Chuck. >> Yes, we did. Hey, >> he was 70. What? 81 years old.
00:49:29
>> No, he was only 68 or 69. >> 86. >> 86. Okay. He was >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think
00:49:37
that if they're above 75, we didn't kill them. >> Yeah. How about 80? If they're above 80.
00:49:42
>> Okay. above 80. I think he was on his way. >> 86 is a good good run. Oh,
00:49:46
>> yeah. That's a really good run. >> But you know, Hawaii is where I want to
00:49:50
die. >> Yeah, you've talked about this. Yeah. Yeah. Why? Why? >> Cuz I saw Rahm Doss die there.
00:49:56
>> You I mean, and when it was the last video, it was weird cuz this is when
00:50:00
they had um when I first got um what do you call that? The um Ox Oculus. >> Yeah.
00:50:06
>> Right. And then there was like a thing where you could press and see ROM DOSs.
00:50:10
>> Oh, wow. >> Right. Right. And so then, you know, I mean, you go boop, Ram Das, right?
00:50:15
>> And he's like a thousand, he looks like a thousand years old. And he's in Hawaii
00:50:20
>> and he's going, you know what I mean? >> Yeah. It's just a process. Yeah. You
00:50:24
mean you know what he's talking, you know? You know what I mean? It's a it's
00:50:27
a witness to realism. Yeah. Whatever he's talking about, right? >> And you could zoom around his body, see
00:50:33
all his liver spots and stuff. But then like Yeah. But then I was like, um, it was definitely in Hawaii, right? And I'm
00:50:40
like, "Oh, this is where you pass." >> You want to die in Hawaii.
00:50:43
>> I think so. In a beautiful day in Hawaii with the palm trees, beautiful day, and
00:50:47
just sitting there, you know, I mean, maybe on an Oculus. See me die on an Oculus or something. You know what I
00:50:53
mean? >> But like 3D. I want people to see me die in 3D. >> Sign up for Bad Friends Patreon. We will
00:50:59
be >> We'll be doing a viewing party of Bobby's death. Uh, and you can live.
00:51:03
>> Would you do a vlog >> as I die? >> Yeah. Why? >> Until you can't talk. Oh my god.
00:51:09
>> As I lay dying. Yeah. Yeah. >> That's so dark. >> Yeah. But I I would pod until I can't
00:51:14
talk. >> You'd be doing a a death pod. >> Yeah. Do a death pod. >> There is a guy that does it. The guy
00:51:19
that got diagnosed with like stage four something cancer and he's doing like a
00:51:22
pod until he dies. >> Yeah. >> There's like a guy that was there was an
00:51:24
artist that was doing this. >> Would you do it? >> No. Cuz it would be Let me tell you
00:51:29
something. If I do >> I would do it with you. >> But if I have terminal cancer, I'm
00:51:32
telling you guys now in this room, none none of you will ever know. >> Oh, you would know e either if I had it.
00:51:38
>> Yeah. I wouldn't tell anybody. I would do what's his name did. >> Norm.
00:51:40
>> Huh? >> Norm. >> Norm. But I was thinking about what's that that beautiful actor. Uh
00:51:44
>> oh. Chadwick. >> Chadwick Boseman. It didn't tell a soul. >> Yeah.
00:51:47
>> Why do Why? >> I Because you don't want to You don't want people to treat you differently as
00:51:51
you die. >> You don't want the pity. >> You just don't want someone to treat you
00:51:54
different because you're die when you're dying. People are going to talk to you
00:51:57
like a baby because they know you're safe. >> Are you okay? >> What? How was today?
00:52:01
>> How was today? >> Yeah. You don't want any of that [ __ ] Just treat me like you treat me and then
00:52:04
I'll die. >> Yeah. Please tell me though. I would. >> No, please tell. You have to tell me.
00:52:10
>> Do you want me to tell you now? >> I I don't >> like what stage like if it's stage two,
00:52:16
would you tell me? >> How funny. I'm literally like withering away and and Bob's like, "Are you okay?"
00:52:20
I'm on the pod. I'm just like, "I'm totally fine." >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:52:23
>> I'm dying live on the pod. >> Yeah. >> No, I wouldn't tell anybody. I really
00:52:27
actually >> You even me >> I think just me and the old lady would know and I wouldn't tell anybody else.
00:52:32
>> And then one day I show up and you're not here. >> It's kind of beautiful, isn't it? No,
00:52:36
it's not. >> It's like Goodwill Hunting. >> Yeah. Then I gota
00:52:40
>> Yes. >> Then I gotta call Theo. You want to start one? >> Yeah, dude.
00:52:45
>> Yeah, >> I would. BUT I'M BUSY. >> WHAT WOULD I DO? I MEAN, it's over.
00:52:50
>> Yeah, >> it would be over. >> Well, I won't die. >> Don't die with that.
00:52:54
>> All right. All right. Knock on wood. >> All right. Knock on with me either,
00:52:56
dude. For at least another five. >> Five? Yeah. Yeah. >> Give me more than five.
00:53:00
>> Yeah. No, we need five more years. >> The couple next to me said that today.
00:53:03
They said it was I was eating at the the Chinese joint before I left and the guy
00:53:07
was like >> just kind of started drummed up conversation. Nice guy had the casino. I
00:53:11
said, "You guys out here in Vegas doing something special." He's like, "It's our
00:53:14
anniversary." >> It's awesome. I was like, "Yeah, my in-laws are going to, you know, about to
00:53:18
do their 50th." And she goes, "Gh, God, we'll never make it there." And the
00:53:22
husband was like, "What do you mean? What? What? You're going to leave me?"
00:53:26
And she's like, "No, I'll be dead. In 20 years, I'll be dead."
00:53:30
>> Oh my god. >> It was their 30th. And I was like, "No, you won't be dead." And she's like, "I
00:53:34
hope so." I was like, "God damn." >> It was It made me sad. I was like, "No,
00:53:39
don't say that. >> What's coming for all of us?" >> I know, but I don't want to think about
00:53:42
it. >> Yeah. >> I think about it sometime. >> That's why I quit smoking.
00:53:46
>> Yeah. >> To give give myself a shot. >> Get death away from the door.
00:53:49
>> Yeah. >> Get him to go away. And now we're going to start exercising.
00:53:53
>> I have been. >> Go on. Well, I mean, >> I have. >> Yeah, go on.
00:54:03
>> I believe you. >> I mean, I've been I've been trying to >> You mean do setups?
00:54:08
>> I Can I tell you something? Yeah. And this is not an insult. >> Yeah.
00:54:11
>> But your stomach kind of looks like after someone gets surgery and they have
00:54:14
all that extra skin left over cuz you've lost so much weight. >> I know.
00:54:18
>> You got to just get that ripped off. >> No, I don't think I have I don't have
00:54:21
that kind of extra skin. You do? >> I can sit up. You You think so? >> Let's do a tummy tuck for you.
00:54:26
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think I have extra skin. >> Let me see it again.
00:54:29
>> What? >> He's going to gain the weight back, though. >> Okay, but don't Okay, stop sucking in.
00:54:33
Just now. Relax. Relax your body. >> Relax your back. >> I am. >> Relax.
00:54:38
>> I am. >> Yeah. >> This >> It's crazy how skinny you are.
00:54:43
>> But this >> Yeah. >> But I've been doing a lot of sit-ups.
00:54:48
>> Have you? >> Yeah. I do like a thousand a day. >> Really? You do a thousand a day?
00:54:52
>> Yeah, I try to do a thousand a day. >> Try to Okay. >> How many do you actually do?
00:54:55
>> Six. >> No, I know. No, I'm not not kidding you. I do it like uh when I wake up, I I do
00:54:59
it like 150 >> and then during the day I'll just keep doing it. >> He just goes to the kitchen for ice
00:55:10
cream. >> Yes, I do. >> Show me a sit up right now. 150. >> No, not in a row.
00:55:19
>> Not in a row. >> What do you mean? You said I do I do like 150? >> Yeah. So, I'll do like 25.
00:55:24
>> Yeah. >> Stop. Right. Look out the window. >> Right. Watch Neighbors on HBO. Right.
00:55:31
>> And then I'll go, you gota do another 25. So I'll do another 25. Right. Stop.
00:55:35
But I'll make sure I get to 150 in the morning >> in the [ __ ] you do 150.
00:55:40
>> Yeah. Yeah. I I mean I just started a week after I quit smoking. >> Can I see how you do your form?
00:55:44
>> That's a week after you quit smoking. >> Please let me see your form.
00:55:48
>> No. >> I just want to see how you do it. >> No, >> I can't do it. No, because you you're
00:55:52
going to tease me and it's going to be mockery and I don't want I don't want to
00:55:55
do that because it's going to dis what it's going to do is going to make me go,
00:55:58
"Oh, don't do them anymore because it's mockery." >> Of course, I'm going to tease you.
00:56:02
>> THAT'S WHY I'M NOT DOING IT RIGHT NOW, DUDE. >> YEAH, but I'm I'm doing it I'm going to
00:56:07
do it for a year and see what happens. >> I'm so proud of you. >> You'll be ripped if you really do it. If
00:56:12
you >> I am do I really am doing it >> like this? >> I'm obsessed with it. Yeah.
00:56:16
>> Do you brace your legs with something to like cuz you need weight on your feet?
00:56:19
>> Yeah. So I hook my legs on my um cabinet. >> You do? >> Yeah. Yeah. Like this. And I get cramps
00:56:23
on my feet. >> Well, you drink water. >> Yeah. And I And I And I try to hold this
00:56:28
too. So the pain is there. >> Wow. >> Yeah. And right now it does hurt all of
00:56:32
it. >> That's good. >> Good pain. >> It's all this pain down here.
00:56:36
>> You put a mat down or you doing it on >> I I just do hard ground. You know what I
00:56:39
call it? I'm doing old boy. >> Doing old boy. >> When you stuck in that room for 15
00:56:44
years, right? So I'm only gonna do push-ups. Mhm. >> I'm only going to do push-ups and
00:56:48
sit-ups and just see what that does. >> Like jail. >> Yeah. Like like prison.
00:56:52
>> Well, street street workouts. You seen those guys that only work out? Like they
00:56:55
just do pull-ups on street lights? Have you seen how jacked these guys are? They
00:56:58
go to a jungle gym. These guys are street workouts out that that that those two black guys.
00:57:04
>> Uh I've seen these guys. They don't do anything but push-ups, sit-ups,
00:57:08
pull-ups, squats. Like this is all >> Yeah. >> from practical [ __ ] outside.
00:57:13
>> Practical [ __ ] outside. >> No weights. >> Yeah. Also, it's like I went to that
00:57:17
[ __ ] place. What's that gym next to my house? >> Equinox. >> No.
00:57:21
>> Planet Fitness. >> So, I walked in there and I go, "Um, I want to join."
00:57:26
>> No, you didn't. >> I swear to God on my my mother's life.
00:57:28
>> Wow. >> And I went in there and I go, "I want to join." They go, "We want to we need to
00:57:33
link you get your bank account. >> We don't do credit card membership."
00:57:39
>> And I'm like, "What? I don't know how to do that." And I just left.
00:57:46
I go, "Fuck you. I'm leaving." Right. I really was going to join Planet Fitness.
00:57:50
>> You fitness would be so funny. >> It was right by my house. Right by my
00:57:54
house. Right. >> You're never going to get anything done. People are going to bother you all day.
00:57:57
>> No. No. I No. No. I Dude, I I put a mask on everything. >> You do.
00:58:01
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. >> And they can't tell it's you. >> First of all, you have to cover your
00:58:04
eyes if you're going to cover anything. Not your [ __ ] mouth. >> A Batman mask.
00:58:09
>> I'd like to work out. I came here to work out. Bane better not be in the cold one.
00:58:17
>> Yeah. So I went there and they said I >> welcome to the steam room Batman.
00:58:22
>> So I try to >> Yeah. So then in my mind I'm like you know and I don't want to go to Egyn cuz
00:58:27
that's where all the supermodels and all the hot people go. >> The hottest people. It's disgusting.
00:58:32
>> That's why I'm like I'm just going to go old boy style >> and do sit-ups and push-ups. Now you
00:58:37
can't tell yet but maybe if I do it for like a year >> you're going to get jacked
00:58:42
>> maybe. But do you remember what you said to me in the car in Australia?
00:58:44
>> What? >> You'll see. >> You'll see. >> You're You're going to see now.
00:58:47
>> It's already been 2 years. >> I I I know. I I know. But I listen, I
00:58:51
didn't do anything >> until this week and a half >> and I've been starting every day doing
00:58:57
it because I need a because I need a new obsession. >> You're bored, too?
00:59:01
>> Cuz I'm smoking. I used to smoke, right? So, it's like instead of that, I have so
00:59:04
much anxiety. So, it's like I I have to do it because if I don't then I get
00:59:09
entrenched in Iran. in Iran. >> Iran. >> Iran. >> Oh, >> yeah.
00:59:15
>> I I didn't know what you were I thought it was an app. I WAS LIKE, "WHAT?
00:59:18
>> PUT me on to Iron." >> No. No. Like the war. Like I get obsessed with the war and stuff and
00:59:22
what's going on and stuff like that. You know what I mean? And then I And I get
00:59:25
lost in it. It causes me more more anxiety. So it's like now I'm, you know,
00:59:29
I mean, old boying it. >> You're old boy. >> Yeah. Yeah. Like or I call it the Travis
00:59:33
Pickle. >> You know what I mean? >> That more lines up society. This dirt
00:59:39
and the trash in the streets. You know what I mean? >> It's incel talk.
00:59:42
>> Yeah. Yeah. It's like Yeah. I talk to myself. You know what I mean? It's
00:59:46
garbage. The human garbage. >> What? >> The [ __ ] and the [ __ ] and the dogs.
00:59:50
>> Dogs. You know what I mean? You know who's up there in that room? >> That's my wife. That's my wife. You know
00:59:57
who's up in that room? >> Not my apartment. >> Yeah. That's not my apartment. You know
01:00:00
what I mean? It's a >> He's a shooter. What? You're a shooter?
01:00:06
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm about to >> It's a little dangerous.
01:00:09
>> Yeah. Yeah. I just got a rifle. >> Laser. >> Yeah, I'm traveling speckling it.
01:00:14
>> No, please don't. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like I have
01:00:17
like notes from the underground thoughts. >> What does that mean? >> It's a Dostoyki book and it's about a
01:00:24
guy that's like living in a basement >> and judging society through like a
01:00:29
little opening. You know what I mean? >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? And I'm I do that.
01:00:34
>> So scary. >> That's such a scary thing to think about. No, I do it.
01:00:38
>> Judging from a window sill in a basement. >> Yeah. >> Oh, yeah.
01:00:41
>> Just piss jars everywhere. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Fap all over the place.
01:00:45
>> Yeah. Yeah. I'm JD Salinger. >> One would think. >> Yeah.
01:00:50
>> Yeah. You were You were very salient. >> Yeah. Yeah. Salian did. >> If I was an author, which author would I
01:00:56
be? >> Never drinks water. >> He got calf cramps doing sit-ups. out.
01:01:05
He's got to fix all that. >> Can I have another water, please? >> Yeah.
01:01:10
>> D, you're parched, huh? >> Yeah. I'm so tired and um drained from
01:01:15
it. I mean, this week was crazy. >> Bad crazy. >> We did sack and then I flew straight to
01:01:23
Philly, you know. I mean, three days there, one day in LA, then went to San Jose.
01:01:29
Today I flew back. You know what I mean? I didn't sleep at all. It's like you're
01:01:33
on the pit. >> Slept all day. >> What the [ __ ] is going on? >> Like a [ __ ] camel.
01:01:42
>> No, I love you. Need it. Huh? >> Yes. So, I'm I'm old boying it.
01:01:47
>> You got to old boy it. >> Yeah. >> I think you're I I believe in you. I
01:01:50
believe in you. >> I mean, I'm never going to destroy you. I'll never get physically, you know,
01:01:55
strong enough. You're just a bigger weight class. >> Yeah. How's dating going? But I am
01:01:59
seeing somebody and what I've been doing is just looking at them and go, "Are we
01:02:04
done?" And then and she goes, "Are you sure?" I I go, "Yeah, I mean, you did
01:02:09
it, right?" She goes, "Yeah, I got there." And then I'll go, "I think I'm
01:02:14
done." >> So you're just bailing. >> What do you mean? >> You're bailing out. You're not going to
01:02:18
try to finish the job. >> Well, I'll come like some excuse like we did the job. You know what I mean? We
01:02:24
got rid of the You know what I mean? Most of their military >> Trump Very good.
01:02:32
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, I need a I you know, it's called,
01:02:35
you know, I mean, an exit strategy. >> Yeah. So, I use an exit strategy, you
01:02:40
know what I mean? When we're done, >> what is it? >> It's just like at one time, u what
01:02:44
happened was um you know, I mean, she was working so hard and I just grabbed her arms and I
01:02:51
go, >> "No, you shook it off." >> Yeah. And I shook it off and she goes,
01:02:56
"Are you sure?" I go, "Yeah." like a pitcher to a catcher just shaking off
01:03:01
the signs. I don't want that. >> But the but but is it worth it? I don't
01:03:05
know. >> Well, if you're happier. >> Yeah, I'm happier. It's also But you
01:03:09
here's what's the great thing about it though is is that um >> Am I boring everybody?
01:03:15
>> No. It's interesting. >> Are you sure? >> Yeah. >> I feel like being boring today.
01:03:19
>> We're listening. >> Is that what it is? >> Yeah. People are quiet when you're
01:03:22
talking because they're listening. >> Okay. But what it is is um what helped
01:03:27
it I'm kidding. >> Are you real? >> It was a bit. It was a bit cuz you just
01:03:31
asked. >> But go ahead. >> The cookies are good. >> Come on. I'm serious.
01:03:35
>> Okay. >> It was a bit. You just said something. >> I just didn't have the motivation or you
01:03:39
know what I mean? It's really weird. >> That's healthy. >> Couldn't do it.
01:03:42
>> She was like hugging. I was hugging her and I got kind of half hard. You know how you get half.
01:03:48
>> I know that. >> Yeah. You know that feeling, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's like midway point.
01:03:52
>> Oh yeah. No turning back. >> Yeah. Yeah. It's like neutral like
01:03:56
India. Yeah. Too much roar, right? Too much. Too much war. But using reference >> too much.
01:04:05
>> Way too much. >> Switzerland is >> what? Switzerland. Yeah. I'm being very
01:04:09
neutral. You know what I mean? But it's like another thing that I realized is
01:04:12
that um a new game came out that I've been anticipating for 6 months and I haven't played one single bit of it.
01:04:18
>> What is the game? >> It's called Crimson Desert. >> Alexa Pro.
01:04:22
>> Yeah, I think it's Alexa Pro because it's like I it's downloaded. You know
01:04:25
what I mean? I turned it on and I saw the character walk toward I got him to walk toward like a cabin
01:04:32
>> and you got midpoint. >> I got I got midpoint. >> Yeah. >> I couldn't even reach the cabin.
01:04:37
>> You got neutral. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You got sweet
01:04:39
>> and my character stopped and I was like I just turned it off. >> What?
01:04:44
>> Yeah. And then I just did 25 sit-ups. >> We got to get Oh, that's good.
01:04:48
>> Use some more drive for life. >> No, it it's it's like I don't know. It's
01:04:52
weird. It's like um because I I play I use video games to like not think about
01:04:58
my life and not think about my anxiety and stuff but I don't have as much right. So it's like I have no interest
01:05:04
in >> escapist >> escapism you know what I mean in that way. >> No.
01:05:09
>> Yeah. So but it the the only downside is you know I mean the climaxing and the
01:05:14
orgasm. >> No coming is a big that's a bummer. >> It's a big one. Yeah.
01:05:18
>> You need to talk to your therapist. This isn't therapy dude. >> Is there a spider on your shirt?
01:05:22
It's a hole on the on the sleeve. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, you you
01:05:26
>> It wouldn't scare me. >> A spider. >> It just look like one.
01:05:32
>> I know, but it's like I felt like you were trying to scare me. >> No.
01:05:35
>> Yeah. Yeah. I I think that a scorpion maybe. >> Is that a scorpion on your shirt?
01:05:39
>> That' be Whoa. Oh, >> you know what I mean? But the spider was
01:05:42
like I don't know. >> Unless it was like um you know um what's it called? The the brown one.
01:05:47
>> Brown recluse. >> The brown recluse. If it was a brown recluse, I would be scared a little bit.
01:05:51
They're in California. >> Yeah. Yeah. A black widow probably >> scared.
01:05:54
>> But a standard spider I don't think I'm scared of. >> You think that's disrespectful to them?
01:05:58
You that they're called standard spiders. You know, like when they're crawling up with your wall and they're
01:06:03
trying to be tough and you go, "Oh, look. A little standard spider." >> Brown recluse. That's so offensive.
01:06:08
>> A brown recluse. >> They're brown. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean?
01:06:12
>> How did they get into this country? Is my real >> is Yeah. Exact. Exactly.
01:06:16
>> These are your papers. >> Um, >> by the way, brown recluse. Black Widow.
01:06:21
Notice the theme. >> Yeah. >> All right. There's no white one. That's
01:06:25
Is this >> In fact, there's no white spiders. >> Yeah, there is.
01:06:28
>> Genocide >> right there. >> Oh, there's one. >> Yeah, there's white.
01:06:31
>> Yeah. Would you be scared with that one? >> Yeah. >> No, it looks It looks nice and safe.
01:06:35
>> Yeah. It's like, "Hello, neighbor." >> White spiders.
01:06:39
>> Okie dokie. >> White spiders asked to come in your house. >> Yeah. Yeah.
01:06:43
>> Hey, may I come in? >> Yeah. >> Come on in. >> Do you have some spare bear spare
01:06:47
butter? >> White spiders in Arizona. That's really Those are cool looking.
01:06:51
>> Yeah, but there's some black in it. Obama style. >> Can I have another water, please?
01:06:57
>> Unbelievable. I love this hydration. Do you know why all the IV IV girls are
01:07:02
hot? >> I know it. I figured it out. Why are they all hot? >> How did you figure it out?
01:07:07
>> Because I got them a bunch of times when I'm on the road and it and this helped
01:07:10
me figure it out. >> Because they're [ __ ] Because they don't >> Oh, here we go.
01:07:15
>> They don't work. and they send a hot girl to distract you from the fact that
01:07:19
it doesn't [ __ ] actually do [ __ ] You piss it out five seconds later, it didn't do anything. It's placebo. And
01:07:24
here's how I know that's true. Half of these women that are administering these
01:07:28
things, I don't even believe they're nurses. These are just [ __ ] chicks
01:07:33
who got It's like an agency hired them. I don't think that any of it's real.
01:07:36
>> That's okay if they're hot, though. >> I don't want someone stabbing me in the
01:07:39
[ __ ] arm with a needle in a bag. >> So, you you'll never get an IV again.
01:07:42
>> I think they're [ __ ] >> I get them all every week. >> And is it working? It is working
01:07:46
>> on what? >> My sit-ups. >> Touche. >> Touche. >> All right. My my sit-ups and my mind.
01:07:54
>> They're overpriced and they're fake. I know that they're fake. There's vitamins
01:07:58
in those bags, but you're >> Then why is your pee right a different color?
01:08:02
>> You You answered my what? You literally validating what I'm saying. You piss it
01:08:05
right out. >> Yeah, but it's the vitamins and all the good stuff that's going through your
01:08:09
body. >> Almost nothing gets absorbed. You can talk to any doctor. They'll tell you
01:08:12
your body >> it goes to your veins, guy. It doesn't absorb. You piss it right out. If
01:08:17
>> my veins absorb. >> Let me see your veins. >> Those did absorb.
01:08:20
>> Yeah. Yeah. They're absorbing the veins, dude. You might You got to get your
01:08:23
veins checked. >> Every doctor I know says it's a [ __ ] scam. That is [ __ ] And they're
01:08:27
overpriced. And they go, "You'll retain such a small percentage of those
01:08:30
vitamins. You might as well just take a handful of [ __ ] vitamins at home. Easier than getting a drip for 40
01:08:36
minutes because you want a hot chick in your living room." >> All right. All right. So, what?
01:08:39
>> That's what it is. >> It's cool. >> I'm see No,
01:08:43
>> it's a scam. It's not a scam. >> It's a [ __ ] scam. >> No, because then they add extra. Do you
01:08:48
want extra? >> Oh, that doesn't sound like a scam at all. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:08:52
>> Do you want extra something? >> It's like extra hot sauce at [ __ ]
01:08:55
Taco Bell. >> Yeah. Put it in the [ __ ] bag. >> Which one? Diablo. >> Fire. Fire. Fire.
01:09:00
>> Diablo. >> Here's why I don't like No. Here's why I don't like Diablo.
01:09:03
>> Changes the flavor profile of of Taco Bell. Fire is >> just hot enough. And I buy it at the
01:09:08
store. It's on sale right now at Bonds. >> It's in my fridge. >> Yeah.
01:09:12
>> I have four bottles. I Oh, I got six bottles of Arvar. >> I have nine bottles of shoe leather.
01:09:19
>> Arvar. >> You know Arvar? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Great hot sauce.
01:09:22
>> Nine bottles of it. >> Yeah. I ordered it on shop. >> On my phone.
01:09:27
>> On Shop. >> It's called Shop on my phone. >> Is it like Amazon shop?
01:09:30
>> I don't know what it is, but Yeah. The reason why I don't use Amazon anymore
01:09:34
because all my deliveries go to this girl I used to hit on in Phoenix >> cuz she was sick one time. you and you
01:09:40
forget to do the >> Yeah, I forgot to do the address. So, she she texted me last week. She I got
01:09:45
12 bottles of Arvark >> and I go, "Oh, fuck." And I finally figured out how to change the address.
01:09:51
You know what I mean? >> Enjoy the Arvark, though. Yeah. I mean, what a gift.
01:09:54
>> Arvark's great. >> She goes, "I got $12." You're like,
01:09:56
"Thinking of you." >> Yeah. And then here's what I also have
01:10:00
been doing lately and I don't know if you know this this is a good thing but
01:10:03
um you ever go you ever go to the farmers market >> every day? >> No.
01:10:12
You going to [ __ ] walk around the [ __ ] farmers market and see like a like four By the way, it's three of the
01:10:18
bins are the same thing. It's like oh is this lettuce again from this guy? A
01:10:22
different guy. It's a honey guy. Four lettuce stands. Two egg ladies. >> OH MY GOD. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
01:10:29
>> AND HOW MANY CANDLES? >> THERE'S A STICKER SHOP. >> ALL RIGHT. THERE'S A NUT SHOP.
01:10:33
>> OH, >> ALL RIGHT. I'm not going there for lettuce, guy. >> It's a scam.
01:10:37
>> It's not a scam. >> Farmers markets are the IV of groceries. >> No, it's a Let me tell you something
01:10:42
about [ __ ] the farmers market. Which farmers market are you talking about? I'm Third Street.
01:10:47
>> Third Street? >> Yeah, the um >> the farmers market. >> The that farmers market.
01:10:51
>> No, the the growth and farmers market that brother, we're talking about
01:10:55
farmers market. I'm talking about the Third Street Farmers Market. >> Well, all of us thought the other thing.
01:10:59
>> Oh, you did? >> Yes. >> You're talking. >> You You got me on Third Street. What
01:11:03
about you, M? >> No, I thought you meant a real farmer. >> A farmers market.
01:11:06
>> Oh, so the farmers market on Thursday is not a real farmers market. >> The mall.
01:11:10
>> WHAT IS IT CALLED? >> THE MALL. IT'S THE GROVE. >> IT'S CALLED THE GROVE.
01:11:14
>> NO, IT'S CALLED THE FARMERS MARKET. >> YES. THAT'S THE NAME OF IT. BUT IT'S
01:11:17
CALLED NO ONE CALLS IT THAT. >> NOBODY CALLS THAT. >> OH, SO IN BIG LETTERS IT SAYS THE
01:11:23
FARMERS MARKET, BUT NO ONE CALLS IT THAT. NO. >> FIRST of all, nobody go Nobody goes
01:11:27
there. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Hey, Pepsi. No one calls that. It's brown juice.
01:11:33
>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? >> It is brown juice. >> Call it a farmer's market. BUT IT'S
01:11:39
>> LOOK AT IT'S ON A [ __ ] WHAT? TEMPLE. What do you call that? >> A farmers market. A farmers market that
01:11:45
we're referring to is a thing that's come and go. This is a permanent far.
01:11:48
It's permanent. >> All right. So, next time we'll say permanent farmers market.
01:11:51
>> Well, say say you know the farmers market at the grove. That's what
01:11:54
everybody says. I'll do I'll say that from now. >> Am I right? Am I [ __ ] right? Everyone
01:11:57
goes, "Oh, the farmers market." I GO, "THAT'S A [ __ ] FARMERS MARKET.
01:12:00
There's nine people making candles, six people selling lettuce, and one [ __ ]
01:12:04
selling eggs. It's the [ __ ] worst. They're They're dog shit." Look at that.
01:12:09
Oranges. Don't need them. Don't need them. But >> can I finish? >> Listen.
01:12:17
>> Can I finish my farmers market? >> The farmers market at the Grove.
01:12:21
>> Phenomenal. >> Sticker shop. No, it's phenomenal. >> Yeah, but there's all kinds of
01:12:25
>> But it's a [ __ ] mall. It's a mall with permanent restaurants.
01:12:28
>> But you know, Can I just So there's a there's a hot sauce >> store there. Hot a hot a hot sauce bar.
01:12:33
Yeah. >> That's not a bar. >> That's just a name. A hot sauce bar.
01:12:38
>> Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm being combative. >> I like it.
01:12:42
>> Okay. So, there's a hot sauce place there and then there's the I and I
01:12:46
always buy I don't know why. And I have a [ __ ] cabinet filled. I go, where's
01:12:50
the hottest one? You want a true just to have it. >> And I have it. Like I have the source.
01:12:55
>> But you're not going to put it on anything, are you? No. >> Just do you dip the finger?
01:12:58
>> No. I have the one that's shaped like a devil. I I have devil's blood. You know
01:13:01
what I mean? Have you devil's blood? You know what I mean? I have um the You know
01:13:06
what I mean? The hottest ones that you could buy. The most expensive ones. >> Very cool.
01:13:11
>> Yeah. Give me a devil's blood. Yeah. That one in the top. Yeah. That's Yeah.
01:13:14
>> Satan's blood. >> Satan's blood. Yeah. Yeah. I have a couple of bottles of blood.
01:13:17
>> Hey, what's up? It's Mikey. Today we're doing Satan's blood.
01:13:23
So stupid. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I just, you know, >> But you collect them cuz
01:13:27
>> I don't collect. I don't use them. I have the source, too. The sources. Look
01:13:30
at the sources bottle. Have we talked about the source? >> No. >> The source hot sauce.
01:13:34
Yeah. >> The source hot sauce. >> Look at the way it comes out. >> Oh, it's like
01:13:40
>> like a mind. >> It's like a book. >> Ancient. >> It's ancient. No, it comes in that and
01:13:44
then Yeah, it's like that. It It is so hot. It's 7.1 million Scoville units.
01:13:52
Rory Scoville rated this. 7.1 million Scoville. What is So, what is the average Scoville units of like a
01:14:01
bottle of Cholula? Give me that. >> Here's the kid again. >> Yeah. Hey guys, I'm trying the source
01:14:05
again. It's Mikey. >> Give me the Scoville units of a bottle of Cholula.
01:14:11
>> And I Let's guess cuz it's 7.1 million for the source. I'm guessing regular
01:14:15
Cholula hot sauce is like >> 500. >> Yeah. Yeah. I was just going to say a
01:14:19
thousand Scoville. A,000 and 2,000. I was right on the money, baby. >> Of what?
01:14:23
>> Scoville units. The heat units. That's how they measure heat. >> And that's of what the hot sauce.
01:14:28
>> Okay. So, just for like Cholula, regular table tabletop Cholula,00,000 to 2,000.
01:14:33
The one you have is 7.1 million. >> Yeah. >> That's absurdest. >> I know. You got to try it.
01:14:40
>> No, it's What do you You know, it's going to fry your tongue. So, one time
01:14:43
me and Jordan Peele went to that hot sauce place and we got the sores and we took a [ __ ] toothpick
01:14:50
>> and your tongue >> and we dipped a toothpick and we stuck on our tongue and it was the most
01:14:55
painful thing. It was like alien blood from the movie Alien. You could hear the sizzle. You know what I mean? It is so
01:15:02
hot. >> Yeah. This guy's a card that says he survived the hot sauce. >> Yeah. Yeah. It's a hot sauce.
01:15:06
>> Oh, he just he just tried it once. >> Yeah, you get a card. >> You get a card. I don't have the card.
01:15:11
We got to get you a card. >> You got to get you got a guard, too. Then >> I'll go get a card with you. I'll go do
01:15:15
>> Would you try it? >> Yeah. It's just going to be [ __ ] an annoying painful.
01:15:18
>> It's going to ruin a part of your day. >> Yeah. >> We learned a lot. We learned that you're
01:15:22
going to be you're going to be getting a six-pack. >> I at the very least get a two pack. Get
01:15:27
a two pack shakur from doing setups. I think you can. >> I think you really can. If you're really
01:15:34
doing 150 a day. >> Yeah. >> No, just in the morning. >> In the morning.
01:15:38
>> He said more. >> What are you doing in the afternoon? I tried to do a thousand.
01:15:41
>> Oh, >> I can you videotape it? >> No. >> Because I want proof.
01:15:48
>> Well, I mean hopefully it'll show on my body. >> I don't think it will.
01:15:52
>> You don't think it will? >> I don't. >> You don't think sit-ups that m many
01:15:55
times? >> I think you count one and then you lay there for 10 minutes and you think, "Oh,
01:15:59
I did 200." >> You think I'm some sort of Asian math? >> Yes.
01:16:05
>> You guys are tricky. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, I can't wait to see it. I want to
01:16:09
see the results. Well, maybe you won't. >> Maybe I won't. >> Yeah, maybe you won't.
01:16:14
You know what I mean? Because it's condescending and it's it's negative.
01:16:17
AND >> WE'RE NOT DOING A THOUSAND [ __ ] SETUPS. >> IT'S DISRUPTIVE. It's disruptive. It's
01:16:23
not encouraging. You know what I mean? It's >> discouraging. >> You're discouraging.
01:16:27
>> No, I said I want you to prove that you're doing it. >> Yeah. It's um
01:16:32
dra draconian. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It's draconian, >> is it?
01:16:37
>> Yeah. Yeah. Harsh. >> It's harsh. Jirconian. >> Yeah. Yeah.
01:16:43
Yeah. Another learn another word I learned through the Tik Toks. >> I was just going to say this is the war.
01:16:49
The war. >> It's a war thing. >> Thank you for being a bad friend.
01:16:52
>> It's a war. >> It's a war thing. Woo. Woo! Yeah!