00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots a white dude and an Asian
00:00:05
dude you two are dis it looks really cool you or something we're bad friends
00:00:12
okay go 200 episodes going that was it that
00:00:17
was it that was it that that was the intro P go ahead penetra feels so good anyway um
00:00:26
welcome to another episode what is this 200 200 this is our
00:00:31
from Las vasev welcome to bad friends uh from Las Vegas Nevada we had a little fun last night we came in uh we went out
00:00:38
to a nice beautiful family dinner didn't we talking about Cayman yeah go ahead talk about it I did it yeah yeah man you
00:00:45
make sweet love last night no by myself two pillows are you being serious yeah yeah
00:00:51
face me a little bit will you will you turn and face me oh move your chair that way so you're angle towards me oh yeah
00:00:57
yeah I want to look at my guy oh sorry we have to connect I want to look at my guy we have to connect you know can I say something say it B you're a master
00:01:03
of all things oh don't do it to you are you're can I tell you tell why you're the master of all things tell me why
00:01:09
number one um you know so many things about a great number of things like for instance gambling um you're good at um
00:01:15
this why I made you face this way so you wouldn't watch the people walking by cuz he's distra distracted by distracted by
00:01:21
the if a butterfly flies by this guy an hour and a half yeah you're like my dog with a squirrel yeah let can I just say
00:01:27
something please you're the master of all things like when we went B one time you're so good but also in gambling last night I was started winning because
00:01:32
you're next to me and you're like you're very good you you know manly things you also know things about like restaurants and stuff like where go you go go here
00:01:39
this one and what did we do last night when we gambled who who won money last night let's start from the beginning all right first of all you went okay so
00:01:46
number one you go I go I texted you I'm like where are we going to um you know eat you know any restaurants and you're
00:01:52
like don't worry about it which is like you know what I mean don't worry about it he knows that don't worry about it we went to a restaurant last night called
00:01:59
deila DEA right it was probably one of the greatest restaurants I've been to in
00:02:05
the last three and a half years that's pretty good three and a half it's pretty
00:02:11
good what' you eat psych let me list off what you ate Hamachi Kudo mhm you had tuna tartar
00:02:20
you had pigs in a blanket chicken fingers truffle fries crab Caesar salad
00:02:26
regular Caesar salad Jesus [ __ ] tomahawk steak franzino carrot suley Jesus roasted
00:02:35
cauliflower ice cream ice cream sunday Su uh sexy chocolate brownie what was it
00:02:41
called [ __ ] Brownie I don't eat that uh three Diet Cokes yeah yeah yeah I spilled one yeah on me you I SP D on you
00:02:49
I'm so sorry it's okay on her new dress got a brand new outfit and you spill an entire diet I didn't even care I was
00:02:55
having so much fun I was like pour another one so we had a delicious little dinner amazing dinner then then
00:03:00
afterwards we're like um what do we do what does one do in the Las Vegas area so we went gambling we had to and then
00:03:07
um you know I started winning oh first can I just say this before before um even Delila I won $2,000 remember you
00:03:15
won $2,000 in a machine and I said what are you going to do with the $2,000 two jackets two jackets that's what he bought right away two jackets Aviator
00:03:22
Nation a you got to do it dude you got to do it you got to spend if you're going to get it you got to give it away
00:03:27
I also have to say about this Wind Casino you like it uh oh penetr feels so good okay
00:03:38
sticking my tip makes me feel so good so the more you sing the song the more I
00:03:44
think you actually made love to somebody a pillow so anyway before we went to De deila um I want and I got the two things
00:03:51
and then I have to say that the night before I was here by myself and I went to this place you went to best friend
00:03:57
best friend yeah how many times you been here throughout my life yeah oh my God remember I you know I've done something
00:04:03
probably 100 and this one you love a lot yeah I I I've been coming here since the
00:04:08
first time I ever came was 1996 and where I opened for Paulie where what room at Riviera oh wow and then you know
00:04:15
she um I perform I did five minutes and then mity came up to me after the show and she goes you're a paid regular and
00:04:22
that's where my journey really began you got passed here oh yeah that's wild I didn't know that story I thought you got
00:04:27
passed in La yeah so MIT was out here when they used to have house can I ask you a question yeah what feels so
00:04:35
good penetrate feel so good exactly dude
00:04:40
the 200th episode feels pretty good and we have a a a special surprise we have a special surprise yes we do what is it
00:04:46
what is it it's very special do you guys want to see it yeah I'd love to okay Carlos I get to see your penis finally
00:04:53
yes yeah oh my goodness my mom's here by
00:05:01
it's Bobby Mom Mom Mom it's Bobby mom why you why you in a wheelchair because
00:05:07
Carlo's broker no why you wheelchair because I want to surprise yeah but you
00:05:12
can't walk anymore she's just tired really she she's like you she's tired
00:05:17
I'm cripper no no T why why why shees the headphones no because I couldn't sleep last night yeah because I want to
00:05:24
see you oh I love you Mom oh my God surprise so sweet ladies and gentlemen I walk with here not flying oh you walked
00:05:31
here that's why you're not this is so shocking that you I I feel so bad that I sang the penetration song What you sing
00:05:37
it again for your mom mom mom I I wrote a song didn't I tell you I want to see you in my dream last night yeah uhoh
00:05:44
that's you that was you yeah you're a bullfrog I saw a bullfrog last night and
00:05:49
that was my mom I guess she goes I'm going to see you in the dreams sing her the song that you wrote for her penetration no that's not that's not
00:05:57
right it is no anyway mom have you when's the last time you went to Vegas about 40 years ago what' you do here I
00:06:05
lost lost $20 and and back then that was like
00:06:11
$20,000 $20 back then was like $20,000 like 1814 I guess that was a that was a lot of money back then yeah yeah you
00:06:18
were here and you lost $20 what' you Los it on what did you gamble what did you play horror quarters quarters what's
00:06:26
quarters I don't know what quarters is quarter quarter machine machine yeah
00:06:32
yeah machine you know what your mom said to me she said all right don't do cut
00:06:41
it you got mentally handic yeah well she's she's Shing she's not B Shing
00:06:48
she's handicapped yeah so she's half of it please don't say that about my mom well you said B Shing and I just put it together it's me say that about my
00:06:55
M see they're doing it again well look yeah yeah know she's just tired she's
00:07:02
old right you son of a [ __ ] dude don't ever do that in the in the quarter slots Bobby last night won a th000
00:07:09
$2,000 really $2,000 ask you put it in again and you lost no I bought no I
00:07:15
cashed out and I bought jackets two jackets I want my shirt
00:07:20
too Totum shirt you want a Tottenham shirt uhuh a number seven because
00:07:26
because of son son uh mom do you [ __ ] Mom hey F no [ __ ] you man hey [ __ ] you
00:07:32
too dude hey chill out I want to say something on M okay you know that Tottenham is you know what team do I
00:07:39
like aser yes who's their main enemy toam toam because son no that's not
00:07:45
because of son it's just they're Rivals you can't just be all like I like Tottenham
00:07:50
now son she she likes Tottenham because there's a Korean dude named
00:07:56
mix what's his name son I know many yeah I'm mean why do you like him
00:08:03
because he's a Korean you like everything Korean huh yeah everything Korean really is there anything Korean
00:08:08
that you don't talk in the mic yeah you got to talk in the mic I am oh didn't Mom how you doing in Phoenix okay you're
00:08:16
doing okay wonderful how old are you now awesome how old are you now how old are
00:08:21
you 80 wow in two months in two months so don't call don't save me any you know
00:08:29
congratulation on my birth uh birthday you don't want me to say congratulations you you didn't do last year you didn't
00:08:36
wish her happy birthday last year happy birthday last year no even Steven didn't do so I'm going to let him know when my
00:08:42
birth day again you know it's your favorite 13 it's feary 13 okay can I say this though we don't do holidays you
00:08:50
know we our family doesn't do it no I do on your birthday barely though no every
00:08:55
every year I do yeah but you don't send anything you just say happy birthday that's what I want feary you want
00:09:00
birthday no I don't want any money I didn't say money I just all right from
00:09:06
now on then February 13th I'll give you just to say mom happy birthday to you
00:09:12
that's all I want okay okay okay okay it's it too much to ask it's not too much to ask it's not too much to ask
00:09:19
what's so funny from now
00:09:24
on3 what do you mean from now on you learned that at like 12 12 yeah you do
00:09:31
yeah yeah I don't know what do you mean what do you learn at 12 to be respectful to your mother yeah okay you're right
00:09:38
you got to buy her that shirt now what shirt the team you a Tottenham shirt I'm
00:09:43
G to give you a Tottenham shirt you get her why don't you give her why don't you buy that today why don't you give her that shirt today like a a big one
00:09:50
because I don't like a small clothes okay okay I like a 2X 2x 2x y pajamas
00:09:57
you pajama like a pajama H yeah but you know soccer jerseys aren't fun to sleep in mom I know what you going to wear you
00:10:04
going just wear we at home you going to wear at home mhm okay I'll get you one and uh darker color yeah yeah dark dark
00:10:12
dark color no white mom tottenham's colors is white and blue no they have no
00:10:20
they have a brown they have they have away you have
00:10:25
they have a away kit as long as it's not white right you don't like white like white anything Jersey people yeah he
00:10:32
doesn't like white well I'm white talk on the mic mom talk here you
00:10:38
know what she said to me when I went and said hi to her she goes oh I'm not getting used to she said I asked her
00:10:46
what she goes your hair yeah he hair is red right yeah I know how do you feel
00:10:51
about that but it's not red anymore yeah it's the same color it's blonde no it's
00:10:57
not that's blonde what the [ __ ] you talking about maybe I'm uh color blind color blind
00:11:04
yeah finally I know I'm color blind yeah is she well let me see she flew in today
00:11:11
yeah yeah she's flying back tonight yeah yeah okay she flew in it for this yes okay good yeah I'm oh tonight I'm
00:11:19
leaving how was the flight good oh yeah was it Southwest was it Southwest yeah you
00:11:26
Southwest at 80 no no first
00:11:32
class okay okay well let him sit and talk on the mic for some for a second so we can brutalize him for a minute
00:11:38
explain here Bobby yeah really light him up about this South let her get on her iPad
00:11:44
by the way what are you doing you want to watch color color you want color okay thank you find the color mom so my mom's
00:11:51
listen my M you you fly me and Andrew's first class right yeah and um
00:11:57
semi-private sometimes yeah yeah jsx like today we had private yeah yeah yeah so why why my mom um e color yeah e
00:12:05
color the green one it's an away kit I will can I see the color this is the in
00:12:10
long sleeve this is son this is this is who we want long sleep okay yeah yeah hot
00:12:16
could you R and like uh twox you know Mom that's you know can I you're right you're right here give me this you got
00:12:22
it Mom yeah Mom just listen to me okay just listen to me real quick okay I already list all the Korean men you like
00:12:31
right you like BTS right they're all handsome yeah yeah right talk on the mic
00:12:37
talk on the mic oh on people listening to me right yeah he's kind of tall handsome athletic he's
00:12:44
tall athletic handsome M you never look you but you spawned
00:12:50
ugly you me no you're not I know but not ugly but you spawned 5 foot2 chubby
00:12:58
weird that's why I like another guy told you're perfect I know but I'm just saying the guys you like don't look
00:13:05
nothing like I well I don't have to be like your height yeah I know but the
00:13:10
thing is I love you that's all you know I love you that's all what do you mean like she doesn't have to be sexually
00:13:16
attracted to your type like her mother love obsessed she's obsessed with why'
00:13:21
you bring that into it that's [ __ ] weird don't bring that why do you want your mom to be sexually attracted to
00:13:27
your body type no I'm not saying that what I'm saying is that she likes goodlooking Asian even women but she
00:13:35
doesn't like like she never said like I like this Korean actress who's 4 foot n and has a gigantic head to be fair last
00:13:41
night outside the wind we were talking about our body types we like and you said no chunkos yeah that's what you did
00:13:47
say that said you like them really really what do you do now I got to tell you Carlos sober is the best version
00:13:54
I've ever seen of himself this is amazing the clarity is huge what are you talking about right now dude clear dude
00:13:59
I'm seeing things in a different way dude tell him what happened really tell me what happened last time he's going clear you went clear he went clear I
00:14:05
went clear he went next time my mom see her get her first class she's old and she's like my mom I I know she I I know
00:14:12
I know her we text she's Bobby mom in my phone wait you text her with him oh yeah
00:14:18
you like him oh yeah why because he's a good to me he is yeah U Mama have you
00:14:23
ever heard of Glory Halles Glory Halles what is that no we did
00:14:29
a good I'm just saying he's into Glory Halls yeah I don't want to tell you what they are but it's not you I'm good
00:14:36
matter it doesn't matter somebody good to me we saw an ESC oh you like it yeah
00:14:42
when on the way here we saw an escort while walking and I said hey that looks like a prostitute and we had a good
00:14:47
laugh right remember that M
00:14:57
moola
00:15:03
no shut up shut up shut up B what he say he this is what he said right this is
00:15:08
good for our audience when you were walking inala all right when you're walking
00:15:13
seven words are making sense now for everybody what do you mean slow down okay okay yeah and don't yell especially
00:15:19
at your mother okay she just couldn't hear me but the laugh is on camera what did he say what he say so you you you
00:15:26
don't want me to like a PO guy and good looking what problem wrong with that thank you what's wrong with that yeah
00:15:32
because I love as you are I never say you are too short or Too Tall whatever
00:15:37
you know he's not too tall he's never too never guys you're you're right you
00:15:43
really yeah yeah you're right you're perfect just the way you are because you're perfect to me yes I'm perfect to
00:15:49
you thank you yeah not as perfect as Steve but you're I'm always your side right so what you asking more you're
00:15:57
right right like are you attracted are you attracted Bobby to women that look like your mom shut up are you attracted
00:16:03
I don't I don't even know why you brought that up let's not even let's move on you were the one that did it you say that she kind of is actually cuz
00:16:09
she's thin BTS whatever asan shut the [ __ ] up everyone shut the [ __ ] up let's
00:16:14
calm down be nice so what he said was what do you mean be nice to Carlos he's clean now when we're coming in mom he
00:16:21
said that when you were coming you saw a prostitute you know what a prostitute is
00:16:26
Pakistan Pakistan Pakistan yeah a Pakistan we saw a Pakistan no a
00:16:31
prostitute prostitute did you laugh okay good yeah
00:16:36
see confirmed confirmed
00:16:46
K these noises just sound like drums what mean really what are you saying what
00:16:53
were you saying she was saying that she she was basically telling me what a prostitute is they they receive money
00:16:58
and all that kind of stuff oh yeah what what's a prostitute in Korean what's it called oh what's the word what's it called I don't want to say it yeah say
00:17:05
it Korean yeah you just said it earlier shame you
00:17:11
already said it not in did yeah you did yeah yeah yeah what is it um
00:17:18
prostitute hooker no no you're not going to say it ch
00:17:26
ch ch so many words so many words just to say
00:17:33
hooker it's like nine words for one thing yeah let's tell your let's tell your mom about uh some of the things
00:17:39
that happened last night okay so we're going to tell you what happened last night okay yeah you don't have to say anything just listen Okay I always
00:17:46
listen to All right so tell me what happened last night well I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had a headache yeah yeah
00:17:52
yeah I did my thing but remember you told me to go cash out my winnings and give them to mcone cuz mcon lost your
00:17:59
lost my $300 yeah so I gave him $300 uhhuh he lost that too and then he went
00:18:04
to a strip club with Andrew do you think he deserved one to go to the strip
00:18:11
club yeah okay he deserved to go I like like when you're down that's good you
00:18:16
gotta go so he lost so Jesse can help tell the story so he lost $600 of mutual friend money right yeah he spent
00:18:22
everybody's money last night everybody's money last night I gave him some money too she gave him some money too so I take him to the strip club
00:18:28
okay I go to the strip club me Jesse uh Mone and my friend balino we go to the
00:18:34
strip club it's nice it's lowkey it was awesome we're having a great time I don't know much I don't feel weird vibes
00:18:39
from balino you do yeah why he's just right there yeah I want him there yeah yeah in case something happens he's our
00:18:46
security okay he's just a little strong for me he's very strong much yeah that's why you're threatened he's sharp no but
00:18:51
he like when I play fight he goes a little too far yeah because why are you playing with fire what are you doing you're going to get burnt kiddo stop
00:18:57
putting your hand on the stove it's going to hurt and I just kind of like to Grapple a little bit then me in a thing and
00:19:03
I just don't put me in the thing no he's got yeah yeah so we went to the strip club I said to I handed uh we got a
00:19:09
couple hundred and ones uh and immediately Mone gets attacked like the like the sucker he is immediately she
00:19:16
sits on him so he can't move yeah a girl does oh yeah yeah he's beautiful or what
00:19:21
yeah she was pretty they were all pretty they were all pretty but I mean she sat right in his lap so he couldn't move like a sucker you know like a sucker
00:19:27
anchored him yeah anchored them down and then what do I get a text that says what what do you think what do you think the text says from who from Mone help no
00:19:35
okay can I can I have cash please oh can I have cash plz can I I just say
00:19:41
something let me ask you something he's already he's already out $800 you have an ATM card yes I do but earlier in the
00:19:46
evening Andrew said you better not go to the ATM okay but you have an ATM card I do all right do you have money in your
00:19:52
account I do okay do you know that your password yeah just get my
00:19:59
why what are you asking Andrew for money for I did eventually go to the ATM how
00:20:04
much did you pull out I pulled out $80 tell them why why what do you what can you do with 80 uh because I I needed
00:20:11
to tip them as well two beers two beers oh well no the two beers were separate I put that on my card and then I had to
00:20:17
pull out cuz she was like tip and I was like I guess and then so I I pulled out $80 in cash and I gave her 40 idiot he
00:20:23
just thought she was into did you think she was just like into you no but I'm just I'm bad like it's so awkward to say
00:20:30
no it's like it's like it's like the coffee shop when they make you on the iPad give a tip it's like that times a thousand you should yeah but you ordered
00:20:36
the coffee yeah you did so you got you got you you asked for money you got the coffee sat on my lap I didn't order any
00:20:42
coffee the coffee came up to me you didn't walk in there dance so you you go Uncle Andrew can I have money for the
00:20:48
lap dance that is essentially he comes over gives you cash I went over to him all right and how many dances you get
00:20:53
one six minutes $100 how long was how long how good was a dance
00:20:59
she kned me in the balls accidentally but other than that it was pretty good did you get a wrecked
00:21:06
yeah was it a little moist in the tip no moisture okay has your mom been to a
00:21:12
strip club have you been to strip club no don't don't don't
00:21:19
don't she did but she doesn't know it's okay it's okay I
00:21:26
think I cannot hear put on the headphones if she want no can you put this on Mom Char it'll be better
00:21:32
it's better there you go that's delicate oh you're doing it so nicely is it better can you hear yeah
00:21:40
yeah is it better hes you guys um you know for my body I want farm fresh
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from your sale do a paid advertisement last night they went to a strip club club strip
00:24:51
club women they take their clothes off and they all went oh and they get on
00:24:56
money me too okay no I went one time in Michigan tell
00:25:03
us you went to St Club in Michigan yeah why yes no friend oh you went a friend
00:25:08
went oh women or men women's but but the dancers were men or women naked naked
00:25:15
man yeah oh it's man
00:25:20
yeah you see penis
00:25:26
one really boy wait his name was Dragon Boy Dragon
00:25:32
Boy Oh bra bra Brazil oh Brazil wait
00:25:37
it's called Brazil no he's hez came from Brazil he came oh Brazil oh my God oh my
00:25:44
God oh oh ugly she scary oh my God she scary too
00:25:50
big big yeah how's Dad's dad's penis yeah small no a not
00:25:58
Brazil not Brazil though not Brazil that's ugly it's ugly yeah well
00:26:06
you see you were sitting there with your friend and Brazil was coming dancing to you yeah did you give him money I don't
00:26:12
you didn't know because I didn't enjoy it oh you didn't enjoy it Jing Jing
00:26:17
scary she said well it is scary when you get a big Brazilian penis in your
00:26:23
face oh you you're not I like you're not except D I don't want daddy's dick is
00:26:31
the best dick it is that's what my mom just said daddy's dick is the best dick that's the name of this episode daddy's dick is the
00:26:37
best can I tell you the coolest thing of the shrip club though please lady gets on her hands her spreads her legs up
00:26:43
puts a dollar on her vagina love this it goes in the air floats in the air like
00:26:49
confetti one girl made it hover for a minute yeah it was awesome wom were doing on back legs in the like a shin
00:26:56
Lim stripper situation like magic also we don't know no we do know oh we do
00:27:02
know yeah so it kept in the a by our queefs yeah I think so
00:27:07
okay it was awesome it was it was dude it was honestly amazing we had we had
00:27:12
some of the acrobatics of some of these girls was shocking one of the girls was walking on the ceiling whoa walking on
00:27:17
the ceiling who like Crossing Tiger Hidden Dragon yeah like Mission Impossible she dropped from the pole and
00:27:23
hovered on the ground she right before she Ethan Hunt
00:27:30
and all that was queef nois um me and this guy mark babit back
00:27:35
in the late 90s I used to open for menia yeah we know the great Carlos Mania yeah
00:27:41
we know and we were at a uh a theater in Texas and this guy Mark babbett who was
00:27:46
like back then a promoter he goes hey I got a girl to come back here to give us a dance and then um she she got naked
00:27:54
and me and Mark sitting next to each other she bent over and her [Music]
00:28:00
vagina just use a different word oh yeah her um gash there it is
00:28:07
no um her sexual organs or something that's
00:28:13
better more approved by your M yeah her sexual organs were green we this a sec green have have
00:28:22
you ever seen a green ask your have you ever seen a green a green vagina I don't never see any me neither you and me you
00:28:29
wait you've never seen other people's vagina before no why I know I mine you have never seen
00:28:35
yours no you've never seen your own vagina I know why I know exactly why why would you yeah I guess that is true
00:28:43
weird it's weird it is weird it is weird to look at it it's weird right yeah how can you see yours well you have a mirror
00:28:49
right yeah you don't just lay there for the mirror and just look at it or no no that's what you do if you had one when I
00:28:55
put something like a you know something in there you know like what okay
00:29:02
uh okay I thought she goes do you hear what she said go too far I'm not going
00:29:07
too far I think you went too far mom I think you went too far okay so
00:29:12
she's looked at it if there was acne sure yeah yeah let's move on from anyway she
00:29:18
was I you're right you're right right did you say banana what what was that banana she's like why would I look at my own yeah why would we look at her own
00:29:24
and you're absolutely right that's a good point very good question why move on anyway I don't know why so me and Mark babbit um we said pull it back up
00:29:31
to the lady no and she left she was super sad yeah but it was like not just green it was like the Hue was like a you
00:29:39
know how like incred an Incredible Hulk mid-transition yeah it was like kind of grayish green all the skin everything it
00:29:46
was like really bad like almost fluorescent tints I didn't like that no thank you anyway we didn't have that experience last night at all no but one
00:29:52
lady she was asked if she could use me as a prop and I said no thank you and then she put her her sexual organs in
00:29:59
Andrew's face right in my face and he said they smelled bad she said who's my next victim it smelled bad it didn't it
00:30:05
didn't I think she had been it's uh she had been she had been working out she
00:30:10
beening she'd been working long shift sweaty then long shift long shift yeah it's like World War II Normandy yeah she
00:30:17
was in the trenches there was a couple of girls there that went on stage a few more times than they should of do you know what I mean by that where you're
00:30:22
like you already got yours dude let some of the new M how do you feel about the Japanese oh boy how do you feel about the
00:30:35
Japanese do you have any Japanese friends no no Chinese friends no Korean
00:30:41
friends oh yeah yeah are you going to therapy still no no more therapy I don't need it you don't need it I'm a normal
00:30:48
person you're a normal you're normal you're pretty normal say I have to pay1 $10 we paying yeah we pay oh yeah okay
00:30:56
and she send me you know like a text message you don't like it no no no it's
00:31:02
okay she how you I you only went one time I thought you said you're going to go I say I wasn't feel good you I have
00:31:08
to lie to her because I cannot tell her I don't have any problems people has a
00:31:13
problem right but I don't want a problem you you don't have any problems no not that kind of to talk to people okay I
00:31:20
can talk to myself at home but but Mom but can I ask you something growing up there was a lot of trauma well I got
00:31:28
over oh what do you mean I have a trauma so you don't have dreams about your little sister yeah but that's a trauma
00:31:36
that is it is Mom well she died and she was in my dream she died in front of you
00:31:42
yeah in the uh K yeah yeah yeah and that's not traumatic well it was like 70
00:31:49
years ago oh okay well then you know I'm 80 you're 80 when I was like over
00:31:57
my point is is that even if I'm a 10-year-old kid and I saw Steve get run
00:32:03
over by a truck but I didn't see her that accident well you came back down
00:32:09
and then you saw no we went to school first and she follow us a school later because she she wake up late oh she woke
00:32:16
up late yes we didn't see her accident I guess that's a lesson you waking up on
00:32:23
time good comedy D Universal have normal thing yeah five in
00:32:30
the afterno in the afternoon yeah so mom um in terms of the Japanese though you you have normal resentment yeah let's get back to racism yeah yeah no let's go
00:32:37
let's move on no no no Japanese he says you don't like any Japanese people at all I didn't say this he did he said
00:32:43
that I never said that I was just asking I didn't say I didn't like a Japanese people I know but remember they
00:32:49
oppressed us I know that the government oh the government yeah not people right
00:32:55
just like a Godzilla minus one right that's the exact same right that's the same theme you're right Mom it's the
00:33:00
government not not people whoa dude why did you see that growing
00:33:07
up he never said that [ __ ] gr up ask yeah you said would say crazy [ __ ] you
00:33:13
never ask I know right but that was very clever I mean not for you're right it's the government not the people right
00:33:19
because when I see Japanese very nice I love them I love them too you know yeah
00:33:24
but maybe they are government is in a nice to Korea you yeah like Emperor hito
00:33:30
Emperor hito 40 years 40 years they took everything they took rice rice uh trees
00:33:38
trees they cut all the trees Korean trees to make them to uh like a war they
00:33:44
took from them all Kore oh so they Cho down the trees trees make war no trees
00:33:51
to make war yeah and they labor Korean go there and labor they labor yeah yeah
00:33:57
no pay no pay no even go there oh y women to do
00:34:04
what what is it [Music]
00:34:10
prostit well it's all for Circle no pay no pay okay oh so the prostitute didn't
00:34:16
get paid so back in the this is what I can now that I won't stand for I won't stand that yeah the treine with the r
00:34:21
was back in the day Japanese came to Korea they chopped on their trees for some reason well cuz they take away
00:34:27
their oxygen oh that's how cruel it's actually pretty clever how cruel Japanese man
00:34:32
they're so smart that's wild yeah you're Emperor hito I'm like a cut them off
00:34:38
where they breed Emperor hito what do you mean what are you implying choke them out I love
00:34:46
but what do how do we do that Rob about the trees you're genius can you imagine
00:34:55
that's what a what a roundabout way to try to kill people so rip out trees that's crazy that's insane yeah yeah
00:35:00
then after that Korean War broken everything you know everything destroyed
00:35:07
you saw it all no no no trees no house no and and how old were you when that
00:35:13
happened H how old were you I was like seven years old wow and I remember
00:35:19
exactly you know all the stuff oh yeah that really never forget you never forget so that's maybe trauma yeah
00:35:26
that's a traum that's real trauma you know that was a really best bad
00:35:33
memory you what talk do you yeah do you look at him still oh yeah yeah yeah but
00:35:39
that was trauma oh but that that's not very memory to me I have a really not bad
00:35:45
memory no I remember to get through what happened Mom Mom did you see dead bodies
00:35:51
huh did you see dead people in the oh yeah Street on the street how many many
00:35:56
many many and that's no B deal we live in in the M kind of mountain I remember
00:36:02
the mountain remember the mountain yeah oh okay okay that was this was the original
00:36:09
concept what do you mean what do you mean what do you mean she saw dead people she does yeah yeah that was a sixense she said she said she sell
00:36:15
thousands of dead people bodies but that was not fine but it's no big deal no big deal yeah well still s years ago
00:36:21
War what do you expect what do you expect what a party yeah a war party
00:36:29
yeah by the way imagine if a dictator was like it's War what do you expect
00:36:35
party dead people hunger people hung people yeah yeah no food no no what did
00:36:43
you eat then as a kid uh like most like uh mom look at me
00:36:51
no no I don't I don't no no I don't need any
00:36:57
but you know people that ate dog no I don't lick I don't like you don't lick you don't lick dogs no no oh no I
00:37:05
never did you eat dogs back then H dog G geogi some people you never ate geogi no
00:37:14
okay you can tell you can tell she hasn't eat dog yeah you don't have it yeah you don't have it here innocent
00:37:19
face you can tell it you can tell you can always any meat when I Were Young no
00:37:24
meat yeah vegetarian until like I came here to America yeah you know okay how
00:37:30
old how old are you when you moved to the United States 24 24 so I've been here like almost 60 years so wow and my
00:37:38
English is so good so good no it is it's not like Korean I speak perfect Korean
00:37:45
well your Korean is Flawless but your English is pretty good it's better than and than his fancy yeah listen how bad
00:37:51
his English is oh my English is okay see he's from Spain boo oh yeah there it is
00:37:58
there we go there we
00:38:04
go yes yeah I speak a little you do poito poito poito do you that's his
00:38:10
wife's nickname for him poito do you remember this song
00:38:15
mom to to yeah sing it rabbit that's you want to sing it yeah don't know I want
00:38:22
to sing with you
00:38:38
I can't believe there hasn't been any Korean Superstar
00:38:44
musicians you don't that's a good song that's like your right and that's not really a Grammy award-winning song is it
00:38:50
r r r your Bo gent in the string PR yeah
00:38:57
very good very good merily now this now this part's going to be hard for both of
00:39:04
you yeah you got to go through right right through that one skip that one like
00:39:10
element yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah anyway let's go back so last night um you went
00:39:15
to strip club you lost all our money he owes us the red red that kid with a hat he owes us6
00:39:22
$1600 give it to me give it to her give her give her the bring it home she's going to bring it
00:39:28
home yeah oh what's the consequences you asked yeah I'd like to know I
00:39:35
mean cash only [ __ ] I think consequences that you're just on um
00:39:40
you're on your last straw and are you meaning it right now yeah you're on the last you're on the last draw like he is Carlos is the last
00:39:47
draw you're on the last draw you [ __ ] up one more time I we're going have to let you go and I'll tell you this I'm going
00:39:54
to be real yeah everywhere I go
00:40:00
oh so don't you don't you he speaking Spanish he doesn't speak English oh yeah yeah
00:40:07
everywhere we go they go hey women men cooler than you harder working than you
00:40:14
more likable than you can we work for you guys I'll do anything you got ask a lot right you're ungrateful you lose our
00:40:22
money yeah right at dinner last night we probably spent thousands of dollars couple thousand dollars yeah right no
00:40:29
guess what he asked for in the beginning caviar caviar the guy the guy asked for
00:40:34
caviar this kid this kid right there in the red he wants caviar for dinner no it wasn't a joke a joke that was not a joke
00:40:41
he was like this with this he's like oh is he smoking yeah yeah there was no this is no cigarette was in it right
00:40:47
that's how insane it is had a mon like cavar yeah he goes Bob we can get cavar
00:40:54
he didn't say can we get right said we can get cavar yeah and I said I wanted it yeah but what' I say no no because
00:41:02
you [ __ ] it up by the way if you didn't say anything he would have got the caviar but then you said something and you expect the caviar and I made him
00:41:10
finish everything he wanted tuna tartar and hamachi Kudo so I made him eat it eat it all and then when he was full and he said I can't eat any more food there
00:41:16
was Tomahawk Steak left over from you guys I made him finish that too yeah because you have to finish you haveo
00:41:22
Jess Jesse you um don't come to Vegas often this your second time here yeah well I've I've been doing but open mics
00:41:29
like not even on the Strip like yeah and I well I headlined Wise Guys to shout out to poly but this is the most fun
00:41:36
I've ever had on the Strip we had so much fun last night I'm sad that you weren't with us you had to go to bed early I understand you got to get your
00:41:41
sleep but we had a great time well I don't drink so you know we weren't drinking I but at one point at some
00:41:46
point well I was also hang out with people other people I know I get it he's on his last draw he on last are you
00:41:52
leaving where you going yeah please get out of here I don't want to look at your face anymore for a little while oh my
00:41:58
God unbelievable deserves the world I know we give him so much he did Vegas
00:42:03
right he didn't spend a dime of his own money that is exactly correct the best way to do Vegas is to have everybody pay
00:42:09
for everything for you that's right right so this is our 200th episode it's pretty powerful if we're going to sit in
00:42:15
it for a second it's pretty amazing we've done 200 we did 200 episodes um
00:42:20
and let's let's be honest it's hard yeah to constantly you know I mean it's hard
00:42:26
but I think that we have a really good team and boy what a good um combination
00:42:31
me and Andrew and it's true really are it is it is it's a good
00:42:36
combination um it's the best thing I've done in a very very long time same uh
00:42:42
you do bring you know riff ra I can't help it it's like charity work I gotta I
00:42:49
got to bring my boys around I don't I don't have a choice and um but I I have to say to the fans it's it's it's the
00:42:56
greatest thing I think that's ever happened to me in Show Business it is me too I've said that multiple times I spent so long trying to find a real
00:43:03
audience and I have you know audiences from different things I've done but this is
00:43:09
like this fan base feels like they're going to be there for a very long time yeah I hope so no I know so I feel it I
00:43:16
know and when I meet them in the streets there's an immediate sort of like bonding I have I'm I'm just saying I
00:43:23
just been I'm so grateful for it you know um other things I've done have been good but um this has been uh amazing and
00:43:32
you know it's funny when uh this old Guru told me a long time ago can I tell
00:43:37
you what an old Guru told me tell me he goes um he goes
00:43:43
uh if you stay sober he said to me right he said um all the things that you D
00:43:51
dream of are they're not going to happen I go okay if if you stay sober if you stay
00:43:57
sober why he goes what God's going to do is give you things that you're not going to expect and that are better right and
00:44:05
I go oh and that's it's been true o ooh o who what's going on there
00:44:12
bud I don't know my neck hurts I I I well you know what to do what do I do just z Oh yes Zach dude come on dude you
00:44:21
guys haven't heard about Zach do what's going on with you Zach do is a free app and website where you can search and
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do.com badri zocdoc.com badri the strip club can Circle back for
00:45:50
just a second yeah the first time I went to a strip club was not fun at all I went on a first date
00:45:56
wait what what yeah I went to meet this guy and I really liked him and he I got to the restaurant and he was with 10
00:46:02
other friends and then he said we're all going to a strip club and it was just like really awkward and so I always
00:46:09
thought of them negatively but last night was so fun oh wa here's the best part that she told me the story last night how how long did you still see
00:46:16
that guy for after the first day three months so it obviously didn't matter it
00:46:21
didn't matter like clearly it didn't really matter three more months after that you still were like maybe he'll change but I never went back to a strip
00:46:27
club this was like uh 10 years ago this the first time that we busted that strip club Cherry for her and for Mone for
00:46:32
real I can't look at women the same in a good way yeah you respect them even more
00:46:38
as acrobatic entities of athleticism yeah they're amazing these women were un [ __ ] real I mean it was almost as if
00:46:44
they got girls from cir solle and they were like hey I know you love doing
00:46:50
acrobatics do you mind money being thrown at you oh wow and they were like instead of a check can we we just have
00:46:56
money thrown at you cuz you're so good they're so good at the acrobatics oh shocking there was a girl that could hit
00:47:01
her legs above her head on the floor so hard it shook the floor and it hurt my feet yeah wow like it I like stung my
00:47:08
feet can I ask you something yeah is if you were with your wife and she did that is that sexy I don't know why they would
00:47:13
even need to do that well if the setup was was like that like if I had a poll at my house with a stage yeah how funny
00:47:19
if she came up to me and she was giving me rates and she's like you want to dance and I'm like yeah and she's like 250 I'm like come on your wife and she
00:47:26
turns around she like get this guy out of here yeah that get kicked out of my own house I'm just saying the things they do in the strim cloth isn't stuff
00:47:32
that you would see in in the bedroom okay but here's the deal what's sexy about it is that it's it's like it's
00:47:39
like this naughty un ungettable fantasy world it's like
00:47:45
you're watching anime it's like it's not real it's real but it's not oh he's got
00:47:50
a fart what are you doing what's what's no okay yeah yeah do it do it do
00:47:56
it no let her do it what I'm saying is all they have to do is to stand there like this no no no that's not what they
00:48:02
do they do a lot that's all they have to do you know what it's like that's all they have to do it's like stand up it oh
00:48:07
yeah you kept doing this last night you kep saying it's like stand up yeah they got the the host he bringing them on they do their act and you watch and
00:48:14
you're like wow but you're not going to go home and do your act you know to your friends see exactly no she's right cuz
00:48:21
she even said that there was three stages and she goes so this is like the main room and that's like the belly room she said to the small stage oh really
00:48:27
and it was you could tell they were working out over there they were working out they were trying some of the tricks wow and the and by the way the DJ is
00:48:32
just like a host the DJ's a little middle host and then sometimes there was two girls that came at the same time and
00:48:38
she goes that's like the scar scar Brothers yeah there was a d the twins they were just women that looked a lot
00:48:45
yeah yeah she goes that's like the scar Brothers I go that's exactly this is just like stand up all night she kept doing that it was very cute she kept going wow I I should have gone she goes
00:48:52
this is just like standup yeah wow guys feel like we're just strippers we are
00:48:58
funny strippers but it's also they're both in the same environment you know to drink minimum usually yeah yeah it's
00:49:03
really sad what's going on no let her do do your do your thing do your iPad thing baby do your iPad thing the last time
00:49:10
last time we saw Bobby's Mom I'm Bobby mom had to do it had to do it the last time we saw Bob's mom we
00:49:16
were in Phoenix and the moment we got her in there she got right on her iPad like this and she showed me she was uh
00:49:22
downloading photos of BTS boys yeah yeah yeah so and there's got to be ,000 I'm not even kidding how many photos are in
00:49:28
there of BTS boys 45 45,000 45,000 photos you know what dude
00:49:35
I'm gonna let her do what she she wants to do I didn't hurt anybody you never hurt anybody she would be a Great
00:49:40
Dictator for real I know I know you should give her some dictator lines you think she'd be a
00:49:47
good dictator yes yeah let's hear let's give her a line what's line uh the baker
00:49:53
must the baker just chop his head off but don't set him
00:49:58
on fire all right here we go this is what you want you to say the baker repeat after me the baker Baker
00:50:06
yeah don't don't chop his head off don't chop the cut off yeah no no the baker Baker yeah chop his
00:50:15
head off chop the head off don't set him on fire don't set him on a
00:50:20
fire can you do that on your own go ahead the don't no the baker don't chop
00:50:27
his head off oh no the baker chop his head off don't set him on fire say it
00:50:34
Go the baker the baker chop his head off Chop Chop off his head yeah yeah and
00:50:42
don't set them on fire don't set them on fire do it now I'm fire say it say it now Baker
00:50:50
yeah don't chop it oh don't just forget
00:50:56
don't cut off P head yeah yeah no chop his head off cut off P but don't set on
00:51:01
on fire yeah that's good that's this is the same as this is the same we should write it down I think she could say it I
00:51:07
I tell you I think we got to start this 101 class over again I think that what do you mean we got to if you're going to
00:51:12
do it you got to really get her into it you got to set the mood set the character I mean you were you were so
00:51:18
quick you were kept and you kept telling her the wrong thing to say every time you all right you ready for a dictator
00:51:23
phrase okay say um all the women all the
00:51:29
women burn them alive burn them alive burn them alive burn them alive burn
00:51:37
burn them alive so okay say that all the women burn them on live that's good
00:51:44
enough pretty good that's a pretty good dictator this is also how Biden prepares for his [Laughter]
00:51:52
spe so good yeah same consistency yeah that's pretty good that's very good dude
00:51:57
very good I'd vote for you are you are would you run for president in 20 would you run for
00:52:03
president run for president would you want to be the president of the United States me yeah no you'd never run that's
00:52:09
why she be so good wait wait can I just can I grab this real quick this is concerning who's that oh
00:52:16
he sorry this is concerning what is it she's got
00:52:21
um show me Hamas
00:52:27
oh yeah's over there what's going on over here Mom Arab Arab talking the mic
00:52:32
talking the mic is this samas he's a he's very goodlooking yeah yeah yeah and it's somebody you've been talking
00:52:39
to oh my God yeah he get out of uh kick out of the country because they afraid
00:52:46
every uh woman going to fall for him oh right so many women are themselves country and you think he's handsome yeah
00:52:54
oh yeah yeah yeah so he has to live in seclusion it's handsome right but what if you had a Brazil deck huh Brazil
00:53:01
penis you got donuts oh you like this oh yeah yeah yeah you don't like Brazil penis no I didn't see but what if you
00:53:07
had one what if you had a big goou no I don't want to see that oh you don't want to see the penis no no you just want to
00:53:12
shake hands and play chess or something yeah why somebody penis okay okay
00:53:18
lunatic lunatic me yeah yeah sorry she hold
00:53:24
on okay we got to get her a bigger
00:53:33
iPad yeah you're right you're right there's got to be a different way of doing this 100% there's got to be a different way to do Mom what are you
00:53:39
doing what you doing okay don't bother me don't bother don't fruit this is what she does all
00:53:44
day that's what's concerning to me she lives by herself what what do you do
00:53:49
that's so different you play video games all day how is that so different than this that's true that is true that's true that's true that's true what is the difference true nothing there is no
00:53:56
difference yeah this is fine at least this is at least this is like exerise exercising and engaging and fun yeah
00:54:02
yeah cuz yours is a little too immersive you're going to the gym too yeah yeah yeah she goes to the gym you
00:54:07
go to the gym every day you swim every day once a week is a lot ask him how
00:54:13
often he goes to the gym never yeah thanks Mom well she is right though she is right do you think we can get you on
00:54:18
a workout plan for 2024 MH we talked about it are you really going to come through with it or no yeah yeah yeah um
00:54:24
yep could change subject I can feel that yeah yeah I don't want to talk about that you know why not because I'm not going do it why
00:54:32
really what's concerning about my do do you have concerns of my health Andreas no you look very healthy how about you
00:54:39
do you have concerns it's weird because on paper yes
00:54:44
but I know you personally and you are so spriteful and you'd seem much younger
00:54:49
than your age how about you guys no you you think Carlos I'm you
00:54:56
concerned the Red Bull yeah oh Carlos Carlos kidding the pop who that he he's
00:55:03
a making what and he's who is this can we show who this is now to the group oh
00:55:09
oh oh a Korean Chef no but she
00:55:14
goes pull the mic closer mom you have to talk on the mic oh why because that no
00:55:20
one can hear you they don't have oh yeah so what what is he doing
00:55:25
you ceramic class in there ceramic class yeah they are making something but like he's say what is this because he's doing
00:55:33
p and oh yeah yeah so you think it's a penis it looks like a penis yeah and you
00:55:38
laughed at that oh yeah he's a BTS he's BTS a big he's a
00:55:44
oldest one he's oldest an arm you know that he does that every night in this no
00:55:50
they are they are like a saint they're like Saints they don't do they do
00:55:56
they're like Saints and Priests they go after little boys they don't touch they don't touch their own yeah
00:56:02
she thinks that the BTS are they're like Angels they are they are yeah they are tell me they're not how would they not
00:56:08
be Angels those are beautiful little angel boys we don't know what they do but there's no way that's insane to same I think late at night when they're done
00:56:14
performing yeah they go eat dinner they pray and they go to bed and they don't go to party they don't go to Party bab
00:56:20
when they have a Grammy here yeah after that they don't go to party they go to hotel and they do and they suck each
00:56:27
other off no no they go to the hotel they suck each other off they talk with their fans you know oh really do you
00:56:34
think they talk or you what she yeah she doesn't mom
00:56:39
you don't pay attention I know but we can't hear you and there's Ru in the show if we can't hear you no you don't
00:56:45
know me I'm here okay soend I'm not here you don't know me Superstar honestly
00:56:51
know this is the kind of Superstar stuff this what I'm feeling like child [ __ ] right now
00:56:57
that's my favorite let's see oh my goodness my favorite she fav pres yeah I
00:57:04
like Elvis pres Elis like that oh yeah yeah your lip was crooked that was
00:57:10
something they had to fix you that good lucky you lose your you know stomach you
00:57:17
lose your stomach yeah stach fat stomach extra fat yeah exercise exercise yeah
00:57:23
you are you have a young face you look like about 20 but this one doesn't go
00:57:31
together right you know what your face and this what's this
00:57:37
mean no what's this mean stomach my stomach you think I'm fat fat yeah yeah
00:57:44
okay she look at you you look like him he rejected it yeah I know you do
00:57:50
kind of have like you you know why mom why cuz that's [ __ ] me hey hey yeah
00:57:55
be nice no would be nice she just said fat she speaks the truth you look like a
00:58:01
song men okay you do kind of have the same Elvis
00:58:07
pattern when you were young you look like him and then you know when he got like bloated and ate peanut butter and banana sandwiches you kind of look like
00:58:13
that Elvis right now the one that died on the toilet that's what she's saying I know
00:58:18
she saying that's what she said it makes my throat sore it gets me flustered it
00:58:23
does it gets me she makes me flustered and gets my emotions running he's sad now now he's sad she doesn't care look
00:58:29
at her yeah you get you take that from your mom though what like the other day you said I look like a turtle oh that's
00:58:36
is that the same thing yeah it's kind of and then I get FL you you uh you do that good you learn a special I learned that
00:58:42
from my mom makes you stronger yeah no being direct being direct a I know Mom you're not what you
00:58:51
don't don't look like a t no no I don't you look like Arab pres thank you Mom
00:58:58
you said that people thank you so much she looks like a turtle I look like a turtle no what does she look like women
00:59:05
a okay she look like woman all the women what do I look like no red hair A
00:59:10
Rang r t that's what she means yeah it's just stuck on me you know Stuck on Me Red ha
00:59:17
it's a forever red ha it's forever yeah what am I going to do with it you know it's it's I'm trying my best yeah that's
00:59:23
your am I ugly no is he handsome no Mom talk is he
00:59:29
handsome you know is he handsome he shav is he you talk mom be nice why are you
00:59:35
like musling her because she the thing be nice all right if I shave my beard
00:59:41
would I be handsome yeah I'll get rid of it because I don't like you don't like beards she has a beard no right well cuz
00:59:46
it's too St what about his facial hair do you like his facial hair his face on his the the mustache yeah it looks nice
00:59:52
one is okay that one's okay I like his long hair too he has beautiful long hair no like when he was high school his hair
00:59:59
is this long I know they used to pull on it and I said you know can just cut your
01:00:05
hair no my my ancestor has a man has a long hair who said that I said that you
01:00:11
said that because yeah they have a hair and bonded and they have you know yeah yeah I told them cuz in high school I
01:00:17
had long hair down my ass 4,000 years you know yeah and I said our ancestors had long hair I said I cannot say
01:00:24
nothing because can't see nothing that's true can't see nothing your ancestors did have long hair
01:00:30
yeah Tre beautiful long hair beautiful he he still has beautiful long hair so
01:00:35
200 huh 200 episodes this our 200th episode wow wow yeah it's a miracle it's
01:00:41
a miracle huh Straight from Heaven I mean it is impressive 200 I know that's
01:00:47
a lot I know and I'm glad you came out for this this is Big Carlos Carlos you
01:00:53
know Carlos is right there we we exchange H text oh for three days yeah
01:00:59
yeah three days yeah whoa because he sent me airplane ticket yeah he didn't
01:01:05
say what airline oh he didn't say what airline Carlos you bought her ticket American Airline or Southwest you know
01:01:12
he say Southwest right but they color is American Airlines right yeah idiot and
01:01:19
he didn't know where I can meet him right he doesn't know much yeah so I say I'm at the in bagage flame yeah he said
01:01:26
I'm there too and he said one number as two and he came right back he came right
01:01:32
back yeah but he's a good guy he's trying oh yeah he's trying hold to me and you know wait wait wait back
01:01:40
it what did he say hold he hold you how does he hold
01:01:47
you nicely nicely yeah very gentleman like gentleman like not hold like yeah
01:01:53
where's his hands that huh where did you put your hands on your butt oh no no
01:02:00
right here right here back yeah okay watch your hands Bud watch your hands dude watch out watch
01:02:08
out no B you know no butt no butt no butt because he gets handsy with women
01:02:13
he grabs butts that's yeah I'm gonna hit him yeah you hit him I'd love to see
01:02:18
that I'd love to see you him we've had a good uh we had a we've had a good time
01:02:25
this is the most confusing episode so confusing yeah yeah yeah yeah I do want to say I wish Rudy could be here me too
01:02:30
yeah that would she's taking her final for people that want to know she's in the middle of her finals to complete her
01:02:36
second year in college God that's [ __ ] nuts nuts the time when she went in high school right yeah yeah is that
01:02:42
crazy it's crazy and she's uh she's grown up to be a good girl yeah yeah she
01:02:48
is the best she really is grown up to be a really and I'm so you know I have to say I think I had a lot to do with it I
01:02:53
think you had some to do with it for sure a lot some a lot yeah yeah some principles values eth ethics ethics for
01:03:00
sure a moral Foundation moral fiber that you have exactly and you need more fiber
01:03:05
by the way we were talking about that earlier my mom T saying that I was fat really [ __ ] threw me into a you're not fat I think she goes if I lost this
01:03:11
I would look like BTS and that's not true we know that because your weight isn't going to change your face and
01:03:17
that's nuts I mean it'll change the way your face is structured but you're not going to turn into Matt rif how funny if you did imagine if you
01:03:26
lost 20 pounds and you became Asian Matt R oh what would I do somebody please make that image asan mat R please please
01:03:33
Asia Matt R Matt Rice Matt Rice mat rice that's funny mat R Sushi Matt
01:03:40
Rice all right um so I want to say uh I love you guys and let's take one quick
01:03:45
minute Bobby had a great little speech in the middle of the said that was very touching and meaningful we appreciate the fans so very much it's meant the
01:03:52
world to us to be able to travel to see you guys um to come see us live I think 100,000
01:03:59
people came and saw us this year or something like that it was pretty incredible like incredible and uh we did
01:04:04
a ton of cities and we're going to do a ton of cities more and from the bottom of my heart uh it's been incredible and
01:04:10
I hope we continue this journey for a long time and thank you for being a bad friend thank you for being for being
01:04:16
[Music] B I told you my dice story here already
01:04:22
right Andrew by Andrew Dice store no I've never told you that I was working the back door at The Comedy Store at my
01:04:29
comedy store t-shirt I didn't know him and he walks into because he go he goes hey Ching I go yeah was your name Ching
01:04:35
he just called me ching oh he Ching that's a good guess I know but he would go I go that's racist you go no chit
01:04:41
Ching it's money oh yeah that's really good right so that was good I didn't know I was working the back door and I
01:04:47
go I go this is 19976 he goes let's go I'm working the
01:04:53
back door I go where are we going he goes go Vegas I go I can't he goes I already talked to them you're going what whoa so
01:05:00
I go from literally working the back door yeah into his car and we're driving to LAX here's another interesting note
01:05:08
when we were at the gate I remember I was so scared I know him he lit up a cigarette in the airport at the gate
01:05:16
holy [ __ ] I go I go um excuse me Mr Clay um you can't smoke he's like I can and I
01:05:22
will and then they were coming he goes watch it he put it on the ground he stomped on it and he pointed at and they're like Okay sounds like a nice guy
01:05:29
yeah he's great that sounds really nice that's where you learned some techniques uh oh looking for a fight
01:05:36
midow looking for a fight midow he's looking for a fight I understand what
01:05:41
you were saying please slow it down and look at me I'm not mad go ahead tell me what you were saying so that that's what you where you learned some techniqu Le
01:05:48
about the cigarettes and how to like I honestly dude I didn't know that you're
01:05:54
not allowed to smoke here I know right you know that at a gate at an airport a
01:06:00
real cigarette also this isn't a cigarette when people complain about Vape vipers Vape vipers vapers I mean
01:06:08
Vapor vapers it's not the same that was our little gay gang I smoke this on the
01:06:13
plane no one gives a [ __ ] it's not like a cigarette you know that's okay so anyway I want to transition real fast
01:06:19
you have penny loafers on I didn't even notice you have cute little penny loafers on yeah do you not put pennies in the loafers what are those you're
01:06:25
wearing penny loafers do you see those little slots at the tongue those are that's for putting a penny in for good luck and if you come and you know if you
01:06:32
if you come on a hard time at least you have a couple of scents in your shoes children wear those shoes they do actually we used to wear those to church
01:06:37
when we were kids and they hurt so much on your feet don't they is that where you're wearing four socks I yes I didn't
01:06:43
learn that from Dice I'm a good guy so how was Vegas with dice I want to know it gets crazier what happened so he goes
01:06:49
I go where am I staying in my room no yeah yeah I have no no bag no toothbrush
01:06:56
nothing no clothes holy [ __ ] I'm in Vegas for now days right and he goes
01:07:02
you're my good look charm so we go to the Mirage CH ching
01:07:07
and he starts losing I have no money by the way he lost a 100 Grand in 30
01:07:13
minutes what was he playing Blackjack he would do
01:07:18
$20,000 bets that seems foolish I know yeah is luck basically I know so so
01:07:26
check this out for the next 24 hours he lost a half a million oh my God okay
01:07:33
then he goes get back in the car tells me to go back in the car I haven't eaten slept anything we fly back he doesn't
01:07:40
talk to me for two more years yeah that makes sense you know why you were his good luck charm he's bad luck he told everyone oh my God oh my
01:07:50
God first of all hey dude I got a side with even want to be there I know but you should have rubbed some of that
01:07:56
Chinese luck off of him or something I don't know he doesn't know I'm Korean I know that's why you had to play just play it I but you can't play it when you
01:08:03
I can't manifest Chinese luck when you're Korean guess that's true yeah yeah but you are the Golden Pig we
01:08:08
learned yesterday yeah but no no I'm a water Pig I'm the year of the water Pig he's the
01:08:13
year of the golden pig but then later he he he changed it to dice changed it to we only lost I only lost 100 Grand it
01:08:19
was not true he lost so much that that he had to do shows for Mirage for free a couple of shows I remember he made a
01:08:26
deal with them but my point is is that and then like no one talked to me for like 2 years cuz he was like oh no that
01:08:31
guy's bad luck I go what the [ __ ] I didn't do anything that was crazy that was my one of my first introductions
01:08:39
that was my second time in Vegas the first time was with Paulie when I got passed so good things have happened here too yeah that's really good yeah yeah
01:08:46
but um I turned 21 in Vegas that was a that was a big deal for me yeah I turned 21 in Vegas where' you stay at Circus
01:08:51
Circus where'd you go we stayed at uh uh where do I stay for my 21st I think I
01:08:56
stayed at the uh at the Luxor oh that's nice no it's not it's not no the pyramid I've stayed there it's fun fun elevators
01:09:03
go this way fun is what you say when when it's sad it's fun it's fun yeah no it's very sad what happened that night the rooms were all wet I feel like I
01:09:10
remember the room being wet when I walked in yeah like the air conditioning was like so old that I feel like it was moist the walls were wet do you know
01:09:16
what I mean by that it felt damp and dewy the building was sweating it was sweating a pyramid yeah well the sun's
01:09:21
beaten on it all day but I I gambled we went to a little like um by the big ferris whe we went to there was like a
01:09:27
nightclub there and it was outside and we're dancing and my dad handed me can't
01:09:33
remember how much money he gave me a couple hundred bucks your dad was there yeah and no my biological father came
01:09:38
was he was here and he gave me a couple hundred dollars I gambled and I was
01:09:43
winning and I was winning and then I almost got kicked out multiple times because I was being a loudmouth at the
01:09:49
table and you can't be loud and rude they ask you to leave if you start cussing and I'm winning and I'm winning and and then like the [ __ ] I am I take
01:09:55
all my chips and I go put it on red and lost everything immediately just like this [ __ ] did that's what I did to him
01:10:02
last night he won twice I said you got to put it away he went and gambled again and you lost it again and that's what
01:10:08
you get that's what Vegas is you're never going to
01:10:16
win
01:10:22
woo woo [Music]
01:10:30
yeah
