00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude you two
00:00:07
are disgusting well you two or something we're bad friends [Music] you're my friend be very bad
00:00:37
probably the best friend [Music] you look like muppet you look like godzilla's pre-cum
00:00:54
steepy weepy is [Music] you got a baby you got a baby and you got a lady [Music] and she's gone she's
00:01:26
in vegas all the guys are hitting on her right now [Music] he's jerking off on her chest
00:01:40
jerking off on her chest brendan chubb wants to [ __ ] her too brendan shaw was all night long
00:01:59
he's got a very very big muscular penis he wants to incident her insert inside her filipino flower his dick has deltoids
00:02:14
bad friends bad friends [Music] fancier you gonna sing a lyric using the next four next do you see the next using the next chunk go ahead they can't hear you do
00:02:32
something yeah take mask off but what do you think the basket [Music] my friend andrew yeah he is a ginger
00:02:49
yeah yeah colder than winter yeah yes bad friends my brother bobby brother bobby
00:03:02
he has a tummy he has a tummy bad friends bad friends bad friends bad friend last name santino
00:03:19
has red pews downstairs downstairs he has freckles too bobby has gang green on his feet
00:03:34
it smells like diarrhea and fungus don't talk about my feet okay his feet are so gross bad friends jeremiah talk about my bad friends
00:03:55
don't talk about jeremiah's next [Music] we did it welcome jules good to see you hi okay good what's up andrew
00:04:14
no no yeah let's start okay let's not do that okay all right you know let's see it's good to see i
00:04:19
love you and my family and i love you the most take the wig off you play jeremiah now um why don't we
00:04:25
start off um with a little prayer oh yeah i brought a knife oh you still want to do the video oh
00:04:31
just for one more minute yeah yeah okay go let's start with the prayer okay uh dear heavenly father thank thank you for uh blessing us today
00:04:45
and uh allowing me to see my brother i am going to get vaccinated soon are you really gonna yeah i am i know you know yeah my friend my friend eric is working on it as we
00:04:57
speak we're waiting clinic wait eric eric works at a clinic he knows someone at a clinic right you but you could just anyway okay so this is my prayer though
00:05:09
yeah all right prayer this is my prayer yours thank you um thank you for allowing jeremiah to be
00:05:14
here today rudy thank you bobby thank you for like allowing us to start caesar bros
00:05:21
podcast together yeah uh and thank you for our health and that we're allowed to podcast
00:05:27
during the these times these times thank you for allowing us to have food in our systems
00:05:32
every day yeah in our bodies yeah we need and thank you for the sun light whoa that you know a lot of people don't ever think the sun oh yeah yeah yeah without the sun what
00:05:46
happens you die maybe you will okay yeah yeah and then do the closer we say this in your name let's do our god how do you do what's
00:05:58
the song how does it go our god is an awesome god he runs from heaven above all right right okay
00:06:17
yeah i love it i love it because do you still believe in jesus no whatever what happened because you
00:06:24
were so devout oh i got brainwashed oh yeah okay good yeah that allowed me not to get girls in high school you already know yeah yeah yeah yeah you probably do you jerk off still
00:06:34
every night you know what i was i was standing for months you know that yeah i know you were doing good
00:06:40
for like two three months you were doing good i followed it brother whatever in a major i just got you know yeah yeah yeah but dude like you because i've done
00:06:50
that i think i've lasted myself about 27 days it's difficult i was doing meetings and everything oh you were oh yeah yeah zoom meetings all that yeah knows the baby jeremiah how is it
00:07:05
is it a boy or girl it's a boy so happy yeah and so excited yeah what's the boy's call i texted
00:07:10
bobby and he didn't respond his name is wilder what that's a great name like gene wilder yeah like wilder
00:07:16
watkins wilder watkins that's a great name wilder j watkins yeah strong wow did you
00:07:22
did you have an argument with your girl about that no we came up with it together oh she was like who said it first though
00:07:28
she did she brought up we were watching a gene wilder move and she goes what about wilder i go i love that's great yeah i love how that
00:07:34
happens yeah yeah yeah because i'm glad you it's not like you know the standard like call it
00:07:40
jeremiah because you're first born right and that's gonna oh you don't jeremiah jr no yes have you
00:07:47
been at the comedy stores or any uh no it just opened up on fridays and i went last night and saturday it was just weird it was good to be back just i didn't perform i just went to hang out
00:07:58
what was the capacity there like how many people were in the probably about in the main room probably about 75 80
00:08:04
people okay yeah yeah that's yeah for the main room but they were still like scattered but it was good to see everybody i saw
00:08:10
you know the whole gang yeah you know bill burr was there a bunch of people and then last night i went to
00:08:16
you know brian monarch show down in hollywood have you been to that one supernova yeah i've done it a couple times it's great
00:08:22
i mean it looks amazing it's an amazing show i went there with spade and um tim dillon yeah and um it was just
00:08:29
i just needed to go just to get my juices flowing i'm scared of it okay i've done it in a while yeah i'm
00:08:36
scared of it are you rusty yeah i'm rusty you are i don't know what i'm you know i'm scared to do it
00:08:42
you're scared to do it so it's like your open mic again yeah i i feel like it no well settle
00:08:48
down i'm sorry i feel like i see all the time because we play warzone together every night yeah but it's not the same i know
00:09:06
because you get annoyed by me when we play warzone you just i feel like you're not having fun anymore
00:09:12
you're doing cold war [ __ ] i'm not having fun with you you're not you're not enjoying resurgence
00:09:17
you know you know i know i'll take well just listen to what you're saying what okay listen to what you're saying okay and then put your age into it
00:09:32
oh yeah yeah yeah so i'm 50 and we're talking about you know what i mean you're not funny oh i know i'm a man child yeah i know but
00:09:39
it's like that i think that's a part of it yeah because when you and i you me and and dylan
00:09:45
chemical engineering chemical engineering and then when whenever we drop into chemical engineer you get really excited
00:09:52
like a little baby yeah because i like going i have like a yeah great you know what i mean i have a routine what am i you know you have my
00:09:57
routine yeah you know what door to go i know what chest is there yeah yeah i'll get my frog it makes me
00:10:02
want to vomit all right then then we don't we could play no i want to put no okay i've tried to play with steve
00:10:08
recently yeah what happened no because we have a full squad he's like i already have trios yeah he's like i'm already yeah
00:10:20
exactly yeah but um are you really going to get vaccinated be honest because when i called you you're like um no i
00:10:27
don't know i've actually don't i i'm going to i'm just lazy about it i'm going to take him yeah i just sang because you do you said to me on the phone i
00:10:37
just want to dude i'm not an anti-virus i'm not i'm not saying i'm just saying i'm going to get it i just said that
00:10:43
you've gone back to because well i don't know what it does to the body that's what you said so you know i've
00:10:50
been on youtube i don't know no no no no i don't know what it does at the bottom
00:10:56
no no no no the reptilian shit's different the reptilian [ __ ] yeah it's different
00:11:01
i'm going to get vaccinations so you don't need the republican alien racist no no no no i want to see mom yeah come on
00:11:08
oh you do yeah okay i text her every day i do too every day she texts you first right absolutely she does these long oh i love it inspirational inspirational questions it's weird does
00:11:19
she send you emojis or bitmojis over no quotes inspiration she does like she'll have like it'll be like
00:11:26
um a photograph of a butterfly yeah and i'll say you know today is the only day that we
00:11:32
have live in the moment and they'll be using this butterfly yeah i love it and then i don't know what the
00:11:38
textbook so i'm like i never heard that before [Laughter] heart emoji what heart emoji you send a heart emoji all every day
00:11:50
that's all you put you don't believe i say i i do three or four i go i love you mom one day yeah i love you where's your
00:11:57
phone i'm i'm going to read you what i've let's see if they're similar okay no i didn't say the same stuff yeah yeah yeah i'm because i'm very similar
00:12:03
on mine too so let's do this right so i'm gonna where's my mom where's mom mom okay so so here here's mine right and these are like yours all right so
00:12:16
so she goes um well i'll you read three or four i'll read three or four just you wanna do responses here's my
00:12:23
response okay three or four good night and dream beautiful dreams no read hers first or i'll start to give
00:12:29
context all right yeah yeah don't okay okay sorry you are here for a reason there's nothing accidental about
00:12:35
you there's a specific purpose assignment and mission on earth that only you can fulfill never doubt
00:12:42
your specialness then i go good night and three beautiful dreams that's better than mine what is at okay at cigna pharmacy i picked up some medication and on the
00:12:55
way home i stopped at albertson's and got some groceries yeah good night exclamation point wishing you a peaceful night's rest that's your response
00:13:06
no and then my response is you too oma all right all right all right i'll give you the one okay so this is my mother's mom she does a dr seuss okay
00:13:16
she goes why fit in when you were born to stand out dr seuss then she says stay safe and healthy good
00:13:23
night and sweet dreams love you and then my response is that's a good quote mom hope everything is okay ask if you need something you're doing way better than me come
00:13:35
come here give me um time to go to bed stay safe and take care good night and sleep tight love you in my response night mom
00:13:56
we'll wrap it up i'll do one more i'll just do one more i'll wrap it up all right 93 degrees this is what she says 93
00:14:03
degrees right now i think the summer is around the corner good night and sleep tight hope you're feeling good miss you so
00:14:08
much i love you with all my heart you're killing me yeah go ahead um it's windy outside but the temperature is perfect today take care and stay safe good night and
00:14:21
sleep tight love you what's your response love you omar but i left a heart emoji yeah but that's i did a repeat yeah you did a reason you know what you're right i need to do more
00:14:40
thoughtful here you know you know what it is i want to do repeats too can i be honest yeah since dad passed
00:14:45
yeah it's been tough you know like because i don't know how to communicate like i don't know how to explain this but i i think i just subconsciously keep it brief like
00:14:57
so oh you're trying to detach does it say when she dies no no no no nothing like that i think it's
00:15:02
just because i don't i don't know what to say like i you know your responses are way more thoughtful
00:15:08
no it's i'm i'm sitting there i spent 45 minutes on it oh you do yeah oh no no mine's the
00:15:14
opposite i just go oh no no i just kind of stare and i go what do i say yeah right and sometimes
00:15:19
i'll rewrite it yeah yeah yeah because i don't want to i've wanted to do that heart emojis or just i love you but i
00:15:26
don't i want her to think that like you know i'm thinking about it a little bit you know yeah you know but do you talk to her
00:15:32
i talked to her two weeks ago yeah do you yeah yeah oh yeah yeah what did you talk
00:15:37
about well just what she did where she went and what she's watching and and all that yeah your mom texted me too go ahead jeremy she said at the end of
00:15:49
hardship comes happiness and it's a picture of a yak and then it says is steve vaccinated yet [Laughter]
00:16:01
yeah yeah i knew yeah i'm sorry i love you i love you what's that oh yeah did you see any movies um what's that demon movie you told me to
00:16:16
see the taiwanese one you already saw it that was scary let the devil you okay uh i saw uh justice league i know but it's the only thing um you know chris
00:16:29
stockman our our favorite reviewer he reviewed a movie called the empty man have you seen that
00:16:35
jeremiah no it's it okay so there's a okay if the movie in itself is okay but there's one scene in the empty man i want you to see the movie because there's one scene that's so
00:16:47
weird and creepy is it a horror flick it's a horror film yeah well like the empty man what do you think about i don't know that's philosophy
00:16:53
psychological thriller yeah or maybe yeah yeah yeah but it's a horror movie but there's this one scene
00:16:58
that's so scary but i want you to see the movie and then you'll call me i can't believe you're here right i can't believe i'm like i know you too
00:17:05
you love yourself of course i love you i love your brothers you know i haven't seen you in a while
00:17:11
why would you ask something like that i haven't seen you in a while what do you get angry about i'm just getting emotional
00:17:18
this is beautiful idiot yeah i know it's weird huh it's like um i haven't seen what's the last time i saw you the last
00:17:23
time we met months it's been months let me ask you something yeah go ahead have you seen
00:17:28
what me and this guy's doing we're gonna promote your podcast no no no no i just know just in passing just
00:17:34
in passing like just a general response do you like it oh i'll tell you something i wasn't gonna say this but i'm gonna say something to you last night i was at the nova whatever
00:17:47
is that what it's called at that place yeah spade and these these two girls came up to me and they
00:17:54
were like you look at me too okay so all right respect and these two girls came up to me and go oh my god what type of tiger family fans and i go cool and they watch bad friends
00:18:06
and they were actually there to see tim dillon so i go um oh you like tim too yeah can i take pho we take photos i go yeah and then they pulled me aside and they go we're really hooked on scissor brothers
00:18:19
and i go what he's like yeah he goes we think that that guy that has legs yeah you're lying i am oh were you wait what
00:18:32
you like the whole thing you hooked us i lied i did mommy we believed i'll be honest with you i'll be honest with you obviously dude what you just dude hurt me to the
00:18:52
freaking corner i know it was fun though it hurt me or what you just did i know but could i
00:18:58
why did you do that can i just say this though wow this was what you were warning me about steve what that hurt me
00:19:05
so i'm sorry just take it no pain is just running through my veins my friend are you angry oh just so sad guess what this guess what though so sad guess what though what after this
00:19:18
if you guys want i'll take it to dinner really yeah you know what since you did this
00:19:25
yeah i'm going to flip it on have you seen our challenges yeah i saw your challenges i saw the one that was really funny that
00:19:32
when you guys were ate the i don't know what hot thing that you ate hot sauce there's a hot sauce
00:19:37
what kind of hot sauce was it oh dude it is this you got it from the farmer's market yeah it's called the hottest freaking hot the hot hottest
00:19:44
[ __ ] hot sauce right and it made me i told you i called you about that i made me laugh so hard
00:19:49
because what was that last thing that you said when it was you said you know it's not affecting me
00:19:55
yeah yeah yeah great yeah yeah i feel really good i feel real good i'll do boogers yeah it was really funny and then when
00:20:01
you put the stuff on your dick we did a ben really good oh well we have it i want we have a challenge today
00:20:08
for you can we do it if it hurts we'll do it at the end so that like i can no it'd be good to do
00:20:14
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00:22:56
tiger tiger bomb and then where did with the tiger bomb what do you put ask me again i i why
00:23:03
okay where do you put the toggle tiger ball our nuts okay so uh we're it's one for all every man for himself so we're brothers we're brothers but i haven't won a
00:23:16
challenge so it's every man okay you put this let me just let me let me ask the rules this is
00:23:23
going to be great no let me ask the rules let me ask the rules yeah so you see me put the stuff on my nuts
00:23:30
yeah we're gonna uh so uh we can't do it on camera but i just need to know it's oh they'll censor it later we just stand up and
00:23:36
possibly look at it yeah yeah so you have to um with your left hand grab it like a tennis racket [Laughter] evenly hold up dude you made me do the
00:23:49
bend game when i was a kid i know i made you you owe me but you can i grab my nuts the way i want to grab
00:23:54
that you can grab the weight but yeah yeah you have to nicely coat it easy it can be a racquetball racket a badminton ring i was thinking more
00:24:00
ping-pong yeah yeah we're all gonna do it together but you're not going to put it on my
00:24:06
no of course not every man every man for himself you put it on my sack what the [ __ ] yeah that's not sanitary yeah yeah you put it on my sack
00:24:16
you want to get covered what if i have copies yeah i'm vaccinated but dude i might have some other [ __ ] no
00:24:22
you don't want that you're putting it on no i'm not i'm not putting this on your nut sack why that's [ __ ] dude that's not sanitary
00:24:30
jeremy just lost the challenge wait what i have to do it come on you're my scissor bro
00:24:38
come on you be a friend you're backed right jared yes yeah you put on my nut sack you're
00:24:43
vast that's i've been in prison longer yeah let's look at comedy let's just let me let's look at comedy like a
00:25:04
prison okay i was i've been in prison longer so i know the ropes you know i mean i have some power in prison right
00:25:11
and you're a new inmate we don't [ __ ] each other the first year i [ __ ] you jeremiah you're my brother dude you gotta do it you gotta do it you're vaccinated why won't you do it
00:25:23
but he's vaccinating i know what nobody is gay you think he's gay no no i don't no it's just it's just i'm
00:25:29
not he's more suitable i'll make you a deal i'll do it right what if he gets a nut and i get a nut okay that's fine we'll spread it that's all right you get one okay i'll get one
00:25:42
nut you get and then i get one all right that's the thing dude that's respect bro that's you complete respect you get the best of
00:25:47
because it'll be good it's great content man it's great so so what are the rules i
00:25:53
you put it on my nutsack and then we continue and we put it on ours too and then we continue to podcast
00:25:59
no but the thing is whoever wipes it off how do you wipe it uh george do you have
00:26:05
baby wipes [Laughter] so george what i need from you uh take a couple paper paper towels i'll go to the sink uh dab the towels with some cold water
00:26:19
okay okay help me with this and then uh have them ready the first person have them ready on the table who wipes them the first
00:26:26
person it might be quick who loses i'm going to want to win i'm going to want to win i know but no
00:26:33
okay so you get enough first you put it on first but jeremiah you have to be you have to get a nut put it on a nut okay okay but you guys
00:26:40
put it on yourselves first and then put it on me no but no we have to do it we have to kind of do it simultaneously this is a love
00:26:46
triangle yeah it's a love choice all right so we're all going to put our nut sacks out yes and then
00:26:52
i'll stick so you'll stick it on one and i'll just put it on the other yeah but then you'll put if you don't
00:26:57
put it on yours though oh dude i if you don't put it if you double my sack if you double my sack and then you
00:27:05
guys don't put it on yours we're shutting this thing down oh and i know there's a problem i know
00:27:10
i know there's a problem i'm gonna be like that i'm gonna go like like i'll be i'm gonna watch i'm gonna see you do the whole thing oh yeah yeah oh
00:27:16
absolutely no you know what you know how about that you do half a sack right and then i want to see you do the whole thing and then because i
00:27:23
did you gotta be uh all right let's just do it this is this is gonna be a disaster dude this is gonna be a disaster get it right
00:27:30
you're not doing my day go first [Music] i don't feel anything i don't feel anything do you feel anything god damn it
00:28:03
i don't feel anything well we might have to change it then no no we're not changing no no no
00:28:08
no we do i don't feel anything i know that's why we have to change it wait wait you don't come up no wait oh no wait
00:28:13
wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait i feel so i feel something i feel something i feel something i definitely feel something yeah i feel something now
00:28:19
i definitely i feel it isn't it fun though it's not fun it's not fun steve it's really it's not fun it's not fun do you guys give up no i don't give up
00:28:31
i'm not giving up let's continue okay yeah yeah i'll continue oh that's cool what it's a cool like a cold wind yeah it's like um my
00:28:44
balls got in a fight with sub-zero mine feels like a microwave i don't know what you guys are
00:28:49
burning and freezing at the same time yeah it burns and freezes yeah so anyway let's continue
00:28:56
so the baby is it hold on okay so the baby no hold on is the baby cry at night yeah yeah yeah it does it does yeah
00:29:12
you guys can't handle it i i can handle it we might be good no we have to raise it up a couple notches
00:29:18
though because it it i feel it but i think we'd feel it more in our butt i'm not putting it in my butt come on dude we already get on my sash this is great content i'm telling you this is great
00:29:32
man people would love this to see this i don't understand how you're not feeling it i don't understand
00:29:44
yeah yeah it feels good steve it's getting hot in here dude yeah it's so bad it is how about your
00:29:50
baby and yeah about this no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no stop stop don't don't don't
00:29:55
no let's just let's think about this no i want we'll raise it up are you getting hot
00:30:00
oh yeah so no so jeremiah jeremiah let's just do this okay well it's just you know promotion promotion baby you know we need help
00:30:17
jeremiah let's just do this pretend you're in an acting scene okay right this is this podcast is a film okay right
00:30:24
steven spielberg is directing and you cannot you know let anyone know no what you're
00:30:29
doing right now yeah to try to no you're not i can still see that you're suffering so right now if they if people tuned in
00:30:36
right now to the podcast they would see the lee brothers as if nothing happened but they they would look at you and they'd be
00:30:42
like oh my god that guy's i'm going through something i'm perfectly normal okay so um
00:30:48
you want me to do an acting scene no just just just pretend it's not happening so your baby
00:31:00
no sure you guys this is not strong we got to do something next then the butthole how we did the bengay we got to do the whole the thing you
00:31:23
know or else we're just half-assed doing it so so go back in the corner guys come on please please
00:31:38
but no [ __ ] no but if penis no no [ __ ] i won't do my [ __ ] okay all right okay but we'll do we have to do our oh we can't touch we're not going to take it
00:31:50
i have to see you do it first and you go forward so anyway so the baby is is your baby a crier does it cry at night yeah occasionally
00:32:11
but are you are you staying up like who who's in charge of staying up who's in charge of staying up
00:32:18
is it you and your wife you have to share duties it's mainly my wife because i've been busy editing the scissor brothers
00:32:23
podcast oh yeah yeah and then i like i had a gig in uh uh ventura last night so she watched the baby while i was i was gone doing shows oh cool man yeah yeah man
00:32:37
you can't think your brain is frozen i know i wouldn't drive you i'm a perfectionist i'm a professional the fear has stopped i'm a professional
00:32:49
i'm afraid yeah so for me you know i'm going hurts does your penis hurt now yes it doesn't get better yeah so what
00:33:00
i'm saying to you is what i'm saying is i'm going stop let's be serious yeah yeah you know
00:33:08
let's start over and i want people to feel sweet i want people right now let's start over
00:33:15
i'm going to start the podcast over and let's make people pretend that we didn't do it okay
00:33:21
all right so here we go right five four three we're bad friends hey welcome to another
00:33:27
episode of reference and we've got uh my brother steve haven't seen you in once yeah yeah and we've got um jules there jules is there yeah yeah hi hi
00:33:39
yeah yeah hi hello jules welcome back i mean well hello um anyway so you haven't seen you in so
00:33:45
long it's good seeing you yeah yeah real good seeing you you wanna do a prayer oh yeah yeah do it right uh dear lord uh thank you for allowing
00:33:53
us to meet today and uh congregate and uh thank you for such a beautiful day um thank you for a food that we eat every day and uh just allowing all these great
00:34:05
opportunities that you're that you're providing we say this in your name lord let's amen her thank you it's a really good prayer when does it go away it won't what do you mean it won't yeah
00:34:25
it won't go away so um i'm going to i'm going to out of town i'm going out of town yeah you have some
00:34:36
show dates yeah no i'm going to do shoot a movie in hungary oh that's next week yeah yeah that's right are you oh so what's your role like can
00:34:43
you tell us about your i want to talk about the role but i don't want to talk about that did you have to audition for it yes i did have to audition for answers
00:34:49
are you crying yeah look at this you okay no okay let's keep going no i'm not gonna give up do you give up no i don't give up so i'm going away you know and it's funny because um i was
00:35:02
in oklahoma well last week so i've been kind of going out and i've been going out um into town and eating dinner with
00:35:10
friends it's been good i feel like everything's coming back you said you had some good barbecue in oklahoma yeah you did what's your favorite kind of
00:35:17
barbecue yeah it wasn't barbecue that i ate i ate at steak houses steakhouses yeah what i do is yeah
00:35:22
anyway i uh what you know what happened was you know what i did um you know those scooters the birds
00:35:30
yeah i did that this is not enough guys you guys you cut the act really you know what we
00:35:37
have to do buttholes yeah we have to steve we have this left eyeball we have to do it steve steve what we're not doing our product
00:35:50
we have to steve it's this trifecta steve's suit boom boom boom right here i might back me up dude scissor brother we gotta do
00:35:59
[Laughter] what does it entail you have to really swirl in your tonkomok inside the hole
00:36:11
yeah inside the butthole inside yeah we have to right yeah we have to do it dude it's great content trust me
00:36:24
trust great content great but let me ask you this can i ask you this what isn't it fun though it's not fun it's absolutely not fun okay okay i came
00:36:36
here i think i have all these ideas of how we're gonna do the it's not it's all off the window what do you mean you can't think no so
00:36:43
let me ask you this my friend what let me ask you this yeah um so you said the sack first we did it right i guess the pain wasn't
00:36:54
you know i mean that great for you yeah so then you went let's try penis right we did the penis okay that was
00:37:02
worse right it feels bad now yeah it does real bad okay now what makes you think the
00:37:08
[ __ ] is gonna have you tried it on your ass yeah it's it's it's gonna be tightened like it's gonna be heightened because it's
00:37:14
more um it's just more of a sensitive area yeah it's a sensitive area the penis head is
00:37:19
not more sensitive than the [ __ ] well let's find out let's find out i don't right jeremiah
00:37:46
[Laughter] hurry up hurry up you guys are stalling hurry up hurry up dude go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go you guys are stalling go guys are
00:38:04
stalling you guys are stalling back away i don't want you around here i want to make sure you do it you can
00:38:09
see me oh you guys are stalling please i'm going okay okay okay okay all right okay go back to
00:38:26
the seat did you do it so i think so i think he did now we're good can i say something
00:38:42
you're right steve you're absolutely correct it is more sensitive than the penis it's unusual
00:39:03
you discover you discover things every day you would not think it's a new level it's the top it's the top level it's the top yeah wow nirvana it's not nirvana no that's not
00:39:14
nirvana okay it's the polar opposite of nirvana oh yeah it's a here you tell are you yeah how are you feeling man i'm
00:39:20
not even kidding are you guys seeing any black specks right now i do i have always seen black spit down my penis
00:39:26
yeah [Laughter] try smiling it's hard okay look at me oh great welcome to another episode of spit friends i'm bobby andrews out of town right so we
00:40:03
have my brother filling in thanks for watching we got jeremiah watkins we have a new podcast called scissor brothers yeah yeah how's that experience going it's
00:40:10
going pretty good um every week uh we we come up with new challenges uh what else jeremiah we do a lot of
00:40:17
music together we do musical things oh we have a lot of fan mail how did that how did that come about scissor brothers
00:40:24
oh the name comes from steve you're sweating a lot the name comes from steve and i started
00:40:30
trimming each other's pews cubes at jeremiah jeremiah and someone said scissor bros and then somebody said that
00:40:36
we're brothers so it just it just stuck it just stuck um and we had the same pair of scissors
00:40:41
we found out at both of our homes initially when you guys started how did it start well the show is called good friends for the first episode it was like april
00:40:52
so i was wondering it was a joke yeah but i was wondering where that came from well so it was a play on bad footage it
00:41:00
was a yeah i was a playoff bad friends and uh we we did like but it was a one-off yeah yeah
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happen hello tushy oh my god you can eat a fried egg off of my [ __ ] i've done it twice yeah and i've done it twice and it's all thanks to hello too and the reason why is because you know i used to have a
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00:43:23
give up [Music] you know yeah it's an old korean korean song it's like all korean song that my mom used to sing to us to go to bed
00:43:50
how about this one okay [Music] [Laughter] [Applause] yeah i don't know the rest do you know yeah i want to join in so badly i know you're doing it oh my god
00:44:12
so um yeah did you see modal combat yeah i did oh no no that's outside yeah it's on html yeah so how was it was it pretty good some
00:44:24
people hate it but i thought it was fun you know i thought it was fun i thought it was better than the 95 i thought it
00:44:29
was way way better the first 10 minutes of it was really dude i'm so sorry i thought it'd be good you know like fun it would mix things up with bad friends because you guys don't
00:44:42
do challenges i thought it'd be a good idea back me up what do you think i thought it was gonna be a good idea too yeah good idea
00:44:49
dude you're crying because anger it's not a sadness i promise you it's kind of furious i'm furious are you really yeah i'm really upset how do we make it up i'm sorry there's no way to make it
00:45:00
up wait there's no way to make it up no can we still go to dinner after this no absolutely not that's out
00:45:06
why not come on listen listen you don't [ __ ] you don't [ __ ] look up [ __ ] right if i die well i could die too
00:45:13
yeah but what if i died what if i died if i died and you didn't die no i would die what if i died i just had
00:45:18
a son that would be terrible yes that would be terrible but you know what i mean that would be awful but i'm just saying
00:45:25
that what if you guys lived and i died from this stupid [ __ ] prank thing that you did how would you feel i feel horrible we'd
00:45:31
feel like a bad friend i would kill myself probably don't say that no if you died
00:45:36
because of a tiger bomb how funny would that be if she if i died and then you killed yourself how
00:45:41
funny would that be and then mom gets the call yeah ring ring i'm sorry hello uh mrs
00:45:48
lee yes yeah are you the mother of are you the mother of bobby and steven lee oh yes are they okay i'm sorry ma'am um i have to call tell
00:46:00
you they both passed away what happened no no oh that's not what you would hear oh this is what you'd hear the phone dropped
00:46:17
that's what you'd hear oh god yeah because of my dumb idea yeah right then she picks it
00:46:25
up right well um your brother steve is that steve your youngest son yeah right he you know they did they do podcasts i know they do but
00:46:37
right he brought over tiger bomb told your brother to stick it on his testicles [Music]
00:46:52
keep going his penis yeah and inside his anus why of course yeah because that's the question why why you know what his response would
00:47:06
be what i don't know that's what the police officers wants to be all right you guys i don't know and then let's wipe it off guys stop no i'm not
00:47:19
wiping out okay i'd rather die i'd rather die to teach you a lesson no yeah i'd rather die i don't want that to happen yeah yeah so let me see something this information let me say something right now and then
00:47:30
what happened and then i was feeling horrible and you know oh he felt so guilty because he bobby died from the poisoning it poisoned his body poison we poisoned
00:47:41
shot himself in the face with a shotgun yeah and then you guys look at the joke what would mom do
00:47:47
oh she would be devastated you would kill herself devastating and there goes our family okay you guys the joke's over let's uh
00:47:55
you guys want to wipe yours off no i refuse you're keeping it up for the rest of the podcast teach you a lesson
00:48:01
can we still go out to eat after this maybe okay i'm hungry tell me about your dreams steve tell me about your dreams
00:48:14
[Music] do your fingers are weird what are you talking about they're like they're like um clubbing what are you talking about really yeah your fingers are clubbing like what
00:48:27
like a caveman no no no no no let's talk about it yeah yeah so you know how the nails
00:48:33
you know your arteries and stuff are closing up so now your nails are like like how
00:48:38
which is the guitars for the rolling stones um keith richards you know his fingers are clubbing my fingers are clubbing yeah yeah
00:48:45
how do you could you tell let me look at your fingernails yeah look at your index this one right here this one mine
00:48:50
are clubbing as well but they curl like they start curling that's what you how you know your arteries are like
00:48:56
clogging up and getting tight so it's like stroke is what yeah now do you do you think about that because it's like i'm i'm i'm on blood pressure medication you are oh
00:49:10
blood thinners no blood pressure medication what so i don't want to get a stroke dad get that
00:49:16
dad got a stroke you know what my brother and i did our grandmother we went to korea our grandmother had was paralyzed from the neck down and did we ever tell you the story no
00:49:29
and um one day my dad walks in and my grandmother never left one room for like 25 years
00:49:35
she just sat against this wall smiling oh the bee stingers yeah yeah yeah so she's just they're
00:49:41
smiling and one day she's just sitting there smiling and my dad looked at her body and there's all these welts on her body yeah
00:49:49
and and she goes he dad comes into us and goes what how come grandma she'll get all these things on her body
00:49:55
right and my brother and i go we don't know right and then the next day my dad walks into the room and he catches my brother and i taking these sticks and just
00:50:07
i don't know i don't remember that yeah yeah really yeah hitting here because you can't feel anything so what's the harm i don't
00:50:14
remember that she's just standing there like this because i think she was just happy that we were like paying her and you used her as a
00:50:19
i don't think we did that i don't remember that yeah i remember her getting stung by bee stingers wow
00:50:25
they would give her these uh no we hit her with sticks no i remember bee stingers of us like
00:50:32
maybe they both can be true i don't remember hitting him with the sticks i think i would remember that i think i think you blocked it out of your mind what yeah we must say there's a lot of things that you blocked out oh yeah
00:50:43
absolutely absolutely i don't remember hitting it you tell i've explained to them um i explained to um
00:50:51
these people on my podcast about when you the fight that you saw me who did i fight when we were kids oh um
00:51:00
derek we talked about we talked about it we did yeah yeah but can i hear your point of view what happened
00:51:06
oh yeah it was the whole talk of the town all the kids knew uh he beat your ass [Laughter] yeah yeah yeah yeah but do you where did he beat me at my ass um
00:51:18
it was like this grassy knoll a open lot yeah you know attached to martin coyte more towards the hill yeah yeah and dude the whole school was there yeah the whole whole thing straight out
00:51:29
of the movies yeah they created this whole circle there was it was like a scene in a movie you seen a movie and he was just beating
00:51:35
you that boom beating you down beating you down i'm sorry i know my mom my mom had to
00:51:42
save them your mom she happened to drive she drove by she had just happened to be driving
00:51:47
by and then she saw her son just getting beat the crap yeah and were you ashamed that day yeah but
00:51:53
you know what i don't want to demoralize you know we've talked about this there's a let's talk about a positive when i was
00:51:59
in seventh or eighth grade here we go let's just story about a positive story about you yeah i i i kind of talked about him passing
00:52:06
on the king and the sting okay but i want to do be more depth yeah yeah it was a good time yeah they did yeah i'm
00:52:11
going back into like two a week and a half they betrayed you and then they bought you back in yeah they brought me back in yeah yeah
00:52:17
but anyways so i so can we talk about king of this thing real quick yeah we can yep um so when we played the
00:52:24
prank here where i called nick write the producer by saying that i didn't cry though i didn't cry what do you mean you said that i cried i didn't cry and then i opened up this whole
00:52:35
thing you're a [ __ ] you cried yeah a lot of people were a lot of trolls came after steve for crying a lot of people did you cry no you didn't no ask my man
00:52:48
you could ask my i made that up yeah you fabricate it okay now you say sorry yeah yeah you know i'm
00:52:55
sorry i don't think you know the power of your word if you say something words are very powerful if you just my words are very powerful
00:53:02
very powerful can i say this though at the time right when you're talking i know you're glamorizing
00:53:07
i know i don't know glamorous i know but you're kind of you're sprinkling no you're sprinkling it off you're crying i didn't cry though
00:53:14
at all i was upset yeah but when i called nick right yeah because the whole thing is
00:53:19
that when i say he cried because when i called nick yes right so just listen so when i'm calling nick on a prank
00:53:25
right obviously you're going to exaggerate it right i might i was thinking about adding other things you know what i mean
00:53:32
right he like he almost hung himself into the closet yeah but those details come back to me
00:53:39
right and i just i just learned a new lesson i'm telling you so what did people say
00:53:45
what are you a [ __ ] yeah what you know like but crying is a it's a natural human emotion no but
00:53:51
these guys are like trolls they're like oh you can't you [ __ ] cried you [ __ ] blah blah blah
00:53:56
what the hell you cry for yeah stand up for yourself you know i mean like all that stuff yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:54:03
you exaggerate dude like because you said that you do exaggerate because you said santino got
00:54:09
a lawyer he was thinking about getting a lawyer to sue steve and i for the the good friends april fools yeah
00:54:14
yeah he had a bunch of trolls hitting him up thinking that was real because you exaggerated it's chaos yeah it's cute you love it you you you i
00:54:20
think you do a part of you like you thrive i don't it makes me feel like [ __ ] it makes me feel like [ __ ] really yeah do you really really is that an act no it's not an act let me say something right now okay cause your words matter
00:54:32
[Laughter] okay okay okay okay but i'm gonna tell you that it makes me feel shame just put that down okay sorry it makes me feel shame um it makes me feel bad
00:54:45
um i know there's these you know consequences that happen that aren't you know that aren't in the
00:54:51
forefront of my mind when i'm doing these mischievous you know what i mean verbal yeah you
00:54:56
know yeah on my friends no that's my family right um will i stop no okay that's fine look at me right now
00:55:04
that's fine look at me right now yeah i will not stop okay that's fine okay can i go back to my story when i felt proud of you
00:55:11
i'd love to okay so we're at the poway high school gym and he was wrestling another asian kid
00:55:18
from monte the story i remember that match and so this kid was his nemesis he was
00:55:24
good i think his name was pineapple or something he was from he was a he was from monte vista he was an asian
00:55:29
kid it wasn't an apple we used to know we were racist we were racist he looked he was filipino in a
00:55:36
mustache but he was an asian first asian right but you called them pineapple no that was that was the nickname that
00:55:42
the whole team called them that came from you though oh no i don't think i i don't think he's calling pineapples
00:55:49
with his words again i'm putting my first it didn't come from me ladies and gentlemen again he's exaggerating
00:55:57
you fabricated he would scare you on a comment saying the story let's stick with the
00:56:02
positivity i want to get to where i felt proud of you okay okay just let him say he's probably
00:56:08
all right it went to overtime against against this guy against this kid from monte vista
00:56:13
this filipino kid from monte vista who was good by the way yeah they both get back into the middle of
00:56:20
the circle and this other kid it was like the scene from you know karate kid one you know
00:56:25
daniel vs johnny this kid did like a whole um bruce lee like pose and it was like the ending of that
00:56:36
scene and you know what my brother did he blew him a kiss he went like this he went and then the whistle blew my brother
00:56:50
went down for a double and freaking slammed him on he slammed him he got he he won in
00:56:56
overtime and i was on as a kid on the side of the mat just like so freaking proud like what the [ __ ]
00:57:04
yeah you know what coach brown sitter said what he didn't say anything he did one of those things in movies
00:57:09
like what do you mean i looked at him from do you remember that i do i looked at him far from the gym he looked at me and
00:57:15
guess what he did like this right he did like a nod like dude that was right and i decided
00:57:26
he likes me you know i remember that feeling um can i just because the jay leno thing
00:57:32
was cool ubook and mad tv was awesome but for me as a as a younger brother i felt the most proudest at that moment
00:57:44
no because it's like it was like a movie to me i was like it was cinematic man yeah it was literally this match was
00:57:50
literally to the final moment tell you about that perseverance don't talk about state i'm not gonna okay i'm not gonna okay okay my brother was ranked probably
00:58:03
two in california right of all of california in his weight division 103. he would go to like cif right three years in a row three years
00:58:14
in a while you go to the cia it's like you know like as a kid you know they had the tunnel
00:58:19
you know with the smoke and they would call my brother's name down and my brother would run through this tunnel as if it's like the wwf or
00:58:26
whatever and my brother would like do moves on the mat that like was inspiring to me
00:58:34
like one time a guy stood up my brother had it was yeah he stood up from my brother you know my
00:58:39
brother put his right hand right over his under his shoulder and took his neck and snapped him back from standing position right and the whole the whole audience
00:58:51
went right you're right and he would do that every year and he was supposed to win state okay i didn't like i don't know where you're going right now i like that i don't know
00:59:07
and everyone when my brother you know i mean i'm not going to go into state but i'm just saying no just do it if you do it do it if you
00:59:13
do it do it all the way if you do do it all the way go all the way i'll do it all the way so my brother was like in like the
00:59:20
newspaper people would write articles they have a plaque in the in in the um he has a record
00:59:27
still you know i mean in the power high school um wrestling fastest pin fastest pin five seconds
00:59:33
yeah my brother was like he's gonna win the whole thing right because everyone at state was guys
00:59:39
he just manhandled right and then um i drove it was in stockton so i'm from san diego i drove the mic all the way there yeah in my hug no not
00:59:51
late after this after the story i don't know if i want to want to hug you after the story actually okay
01:00:05
i drove like nine hours yeah or up there no hotel just nine hours and i sat in my seat
01:00:13
my brother's first match and as soon as i saw my brother walk under the mat i almost got back in my [ __ ] car and
01:00:20
drove back you knew i knew there was fear in his eyes i've never seen yet i mean fear manifest in a body that's what my
01:00:34
alcohol was like it was like this it was like this it was like this frozen frozen here's a guy in every other
01:00:42
tournament with just you know what i mean you know me just eye people right what's up you know what i mean and
01:00:49
then gross i froze his face was like you know like a statue no like in aliens you remember that little creature comes on the face it was as as if they took the took the creature off
01:01:00
right and he was on the mat blood squirting out of do you even know the depression that i
01:01:06
went through after that i know i'm kept i went deep into depression yeah suicidal oh you know i feel bad because i should be more supportive
01:01:17
oh thank you thank you yeah you're right yeah i should be more supportive you know i learned the lesson though i learned a lot what's the lesson you can't let fear dictate
01:01:31
your life and the way you navigate through life because i because to be honest with you i was my worst enemy you know so like because i've thought of
01:01:43
i've replayed that event in my audience i think about that thing no because you learn lessons from it
01:01:48
what is it okay so the lesson is let's say if i tried my very best and wasn't fearful and i lost i'd be okay with that it's because
01:02:00
the fear set in and i wasn't at my best that's where i have the problem does that make sense yeah i had a similar
01:02:07
thing happen uh yeah go ahead jeremiah spelling bee when i went to is this real this is real this is real okay i went to regionals did you really yes i was i was i was
01:02:21
going to go to nationals i had learned every single word in fifth grade wow i was i i killed it at state we went to texas i'm from kansas then so i
01:02:33
went from kansas to texas and then the next step was nationals wow did you have the little
01:02:39
number thing yes i love that yeah yeah because fear i knew the word i knew the word and it's the it's the the the first and last time i got legit stage
01:02:52
fright i spelled the word wrong and i knew that i was doing it wrong because i was feared because i wanted out i was so
01:02:58
scared yeah well you purposely said it wrong because of the fear i think or or because the fear said that
01:03:04
you couldn't think straight you knew that knew it i knew it it was the word it was an easy word
01:03:10
it was the people getting lullaby lullaby lullaby yeah do you know how how hard i
01:03:15
kicked myself after i still can't spell that word let me try lullaby okay i'll try it too
01:03:22
l u l u l l a b y yes that's it that's that's it yeah that's it that's a lullaby yep you couldn't spell that i spelled it
01:03:34
l-u-l yeah and then i i went and froze too a b y and then go i'm sorry and i knew that
01:03:42
i knew i was spelling it wrong oh my gosh were your parents in the audience yes my mom had flown to texas with me
01:03:48
well she's probably uh imagine the shame in the audience i mean all these kids like around me were like i'm so sorry nailing like like really hard words and i was like okay i know that one i know that one
01:04:00
that was meant to be though because we're scissor brothers now we both we both went through a similar
01:04:06
cut dude i feel close to you dude from the ashes we wrote yeah we have we share that right one one two
01:04:12
come on bob three four five i don't know what this is i've never done this what's it eight a hundred nine no we're not doing i'm not doing it it's something that we do to collect
01:04:23
yeah yeah so that's interesting um you know i've had a lot of um but you've have you dealt with that oh i didn't fear oh i'll i'll tell you
01:04:34
tell me so three years ago i don't care because yeah amy poehler is producing this pilot right and i'm like you know i'm gonna
01:04:45
[ __ ] get it you know so i memorized it from backwards and forwards and i go i'm sitting in the now i'm at i
01:04:52
don't know nbc when i'm sitting there and i i don't even have the script in my hand i just have it like this because i
01:04:58
know it you know i mean it's memorized so and i'm also so cocky about it i'm like sitting in my chair like this other actors walking what's up
01:05:10
i know i'm going to get it you're going to get it you're good yeah and then the lady goes are you ready
01:05:16
yeah i'm ready about time i walk in and i didn't know that she was going to be the amy pullers there right she's sitting there and like in my
01:05:28
head i'm like i'm gonna start let's start to start i have it right then she does this bobby
01:05:34
i go hey she goes she introduces me everyone in the room and as that during that process i'm like i it's all now gone i don't know the first
01:05:47
word oh no yeah so then i start the audition as soon as i say the first word i go
01:05:53
and i go right into the page and i literally put the [ __ ] page in front of my face
01:05:58
and i just read it like that oh my god right and i'm like also the paige is doing this let's suppose this is the script yeah
01:06:08
this is what they see i'm sorry i'm sorry because i'm i'm so scared right and i go i go thank you and i try to justify and i go
01:06:19
like this i go i should have memorized it sorry i just cold read it just to justify it and she goes
01:06:26
she out loud she did that yes i swear to god i walked in the hallway and i had this
01:06:32
big long bottle of smart water oh you hit it i hit my head over there yeah i remember that yeah 50 times
01:06:37
remember what you did after you went and i was bleeding down my face he was hitting himself punishing myself
01:06:44
before yeah i'm driving and just banging my when i got home my face was bleeding because she's like what happened
01:06:55
get in a car accident i just auditioned it's an audition you walked in i booked it yeah yeah but like you know i i've had so many of those experiences where i
01:07:07
would audition for something okay and i would close no okay just a disaster and i would be in my car
01:07:13
crying in shame over an audition yeah yeah i've had those two and and and no i learned right now it's different that was years ago maybe five years ago now it's completely different i'm you
01:07:26
know i don't give a [ __ ] now because i um you know i have tiger belly and i have this you know i mean and this you know and then for some reason now it all that kind of stuff i needed money right that's what it is i
01:07:38
always there's a time where it's like well my desperate it comes through always right i'm like i need to book something
01:07:45
so i can get my career going right and there was years where i wasn't and so then i was like i would punish myself
01:07:51
and then i wa one day i just went you know what i'm just gonna do my own thing which is bad friends and tiger belly and
01:07:56
podcasting and stand-up and that other kind of stuff that i have control over and then the other stuff just came along
01:08:02
with that right but um yeah i know what that shame is like yeah and i think because but the reason
01:08:09
why you beat yourself up over state is because of the trauma that you felt growing up in our house
01:08:16
yeah yeah and you know you have to deal with that trauma oh yeah yeah absolutely yeah yeah you know when um dad beat you with that little casio
01:08:26
keyboard when completely naked my dad had my brother had a friend over was it was derek's oh yeah the guy that beat me
01:08:32
up's brother was it really a casio like that one yeah but with a little one it was the first sampling keyboard
01:08:37
like the freddy krueger one you could go hey hey hey you know yeah like a second of sampling
01:08:43
time yeah and then my my brother was playing it to him and that was taken during the daytime during the day this time yeah and my dad came
01:08:52
in yeah that's like shut up butt naked completely naked and what do you have in his ass tiger balm no tissue paper tissue paper like a string like dental floss
01:09:04
like he had a [ __ ] tampon in his ass sticking out of his butthole yeah scared the [ __ ] out of me yeah but that's the only thing i could look like a korean kite yeah
01:09:12
right so he comes in and he goes he takes the casket rips the keyboard out of the socket
01:09:18
right and like a sledgehammer yeah and keep in mind we're on our stomachs just playing with this thing and they're eight yeah and he just beats me
01:09:29
like a hammer like boom boom i imagine you're your friend his friend oh he never came he never came over
01:09:34
again never came over again that's it yeah my dad did that with the street fighter 2
01:09:40
on super nintendo because he didn't beat us but he he took it to his workbench yeah you
01:09:46
boys are gonna fight he took a sledgehammer yeah ah fight over this oh my god broke it to pieces brand new video game ah no why why christmas gift
01:09:58
gone did you buy you another one no he one time hid our double07 goldeneye yeah as a
01:10:04
punishment because we were fighting over it again yeah and then he forgot where he hit it
01:10:10
and you never saw it again what if it's still there somewhere like behind a wall
01:10:16
in the house in the house it might be wait do they still still live in the same house
01:10:21
what my my my dad and my my brother and my mom or what no where he hid that golden eye oh no we don't know we don't live in that house that's like a childhood was that a difficult question i don't know i dude
01:10:33
my butthole is i don't know yeah we're doing okay with that yeah yeah you guys still feel it though
01:10:39
i didn't want to yeah i do i'm just saying like if there's it's more of a like um it's a weird station it's like like a little ice cube
01:10:46
in my butthole yeah it's cooling off it feels still feel like a little ice cube in my butthole does it burn at all a little
01:10:52
bit yeah i think i have blood in my shoulders yeah yeah but it's weird when you ex you experience now would you not let me
01:10:58
ask yourself this though because you have wilder now your kid are you going to do that [ __ ] with him
01:11:04
no you're a great dad you're not going to do any of that are you sure though well you just wait me because they drive you so crazy
01:11:11
that you just resort to certain certain things no i don't think you can i think i'll go more the disappointment
01:11:16
route yeah or time out the time out route yeah where are where the timeout works oh if because when
01:11:22
your parents get disappointed with you that's longer lasting than ah then rage and everything like that yeah
01:11:29
because rage and stuff like that it lingers within the kid too right and it just kind of manifests itself in
01:11:35
weird ways as an adult um maybe that's why you're not going to have kids huh i want it dude yeah but dude it's like
01:11:46
what time what do you mean time we're getting older i can still have it look at steve martin
01:11:54
yeah he had kids at like 70. how old was he at 70. at 70. oh okay you're good now you see him like
01:11:59
you know what i mean he was a six-year-old kid do you want he's in a walker and he's at the park do you want it
01:12:06
you know i i look at it because you're at the age you know what what is that what's that okay i'm sorry i'm
01:12:12
sorry but you know yeah i'm 50 i'm not even i know but this is a good age that's a great age yeah i'm in it i'm a
01:12:19
good age are you guys going to do it yeah yeah i want to but here's the deal um you know kalila's dad was 60 when she you know he had her so i just feel like but if i'm going to do it i have to do it now
01:12:31
you should do it now yeah i want to do it now i want to be like because when i'm 70 my kid will be 20 i'll be out of the
01:12:36
house and then maybe i can do you still have sperm that you have like healthy yeah do you still have sperm bobby it's like not just like dust bubbles just don't just
01:12:56
no if i looked at my comment it was dust bubble yeah i don't even know what that is by the way like sand yeah if it was it was
01:13:03
if there was sand grainy grainy in my [ __ ] i would go to the hospital do you still masturbate yes i do you [ __ ] okay my [ __ ] works it
01:13:11
works good it's a machine like you could still get it you can still get it right yeah dude i'm not [ __ ] you know i know i
01:13:18
haven't talked to you in a long time yeah my dick works i know but you could get hard and everything instantly yeah of course yeah yeah i was
01:13:24
wondering so you do well you're only three years younger i know you have dust bubbles in your dick oh no it's working great
01:13:30
like real good right oh yeah it's beautiful yeah it's beautiful yeah yeah me too yeah you feel have the
01:13:36
same sexual desire oh yeah me too do you still use toys and stuff like what do you mean well you know the pringles thing you know they call us the pringle boys well it's a little hard when you can
01:13:47
make a like a homemade i know i know it would be yeah yeah yeah yeah it's hard when you are living with
01:13:53
you know i mean a kid i you know have a high schooler in my house yeah rudy yeah so i don't want a
01:13:59
fleshlight laying around the living room yeah you know what i mean so you just old school and also when i masturbate i
01:14:06
can't just masturbate in the bed you know me next to kalila that's weird right i've never done i've never done the watch porn master but you
01:14:12
can't do that so what do you have to go downstairs no i have to do it either um well sometimes i do it
01:14:17
in the garage you do i have done it like where tiger bellies filmed yeah oh where the video game is
01:14:26
so i'll be playing warzone she thinks you're gaming not in the guest seat or anything right no no no no nothing i said that's rude
01:14:33
no i'll be gaming and then i'll just go and i just because i you know i have to quit at a certain
01:14:38
time so i go it's getting almost 1 30. i gotta stop maybe i'll just masturbate real quick you know and
01:14:44
i'll just do it what do you go ahead bank bank what do you mean spank bank or do you look at
01:14:50
something hey look he doesn't want to enter this hall what do you look at what are you
01:14:56
watching i look like what do you look at though bobby i want to know what you're watching
01:15:02
i'm not like i'm not doing because i don't want i want to i don't want to i used to spend so much
01:15:09
money on buying you know memberships see i always question that it's for free right yeah oh you're specific no it's not about specific sorry it's
01:15:19
about you know the free ones are like four minute videos sometimes they don't 10 minutes 15 sometimes right
01:15:24
but it's not high definition yeah i mean i like all that stuff okay like new you know
01:15:31
no but what else do you like topical porn no i like relevant porn what do you mean
01:15:37
by relevant i think just like go ahead keep keep going i just like ones that are like you know
01:15:43
well like think about it what do you mean just think about what you're about to say though i just want you know
01:15:48
i want you to know what are you talking about i just want you to be you know think about it what i i go on
01:15:56
pornhub okay that's right you yeah that's something you certainly give i go premium oh i pay for the premium uh
01:16:03
what's the what's the difference you just get a lot more content oh okay and higher definition
01:16:08
videos and longer videos far more accurate you get through longer videos though do you know what i
01:16:14
mean do you keep watching after you complete and does it take it longer for you to i've noticed it takes longer for me
01:16:19
oh no you're like boom no i get in a manic obsession really yeah i focus i can i
01:16:26
know how to focus my attention because i play a game called match 3d there's a game called match 3d
01:16:32
where you you have to you you have to put like symbols inside a little thing as fast as you can and it he if
01:16:39
you don't focus especially on your phone because on your ipad's easier on your phone you have to really look and i use that
01:16:45
technology and that system when i watch porn i focus into the [ __ ] oh so your mind just goes right in
01:16:53
yeah yeah and i'm like nothing you know sometimes you'll be watching porn and you'll hear a noise i go is that a ghost
01:16:59
or you know i mean or you start thinking about other things right the only two options or whatever you know
01:17:04
or is that my girlfriend maybe that would be that right or you think about what do i have to do tomorrow i don't i
01:17:09
know how to laser focus and do it in the situation do you know how to do that i just it takes me like an hour on the opposite
01:17:16
to finish oh it takes me a long i mean sometimes hours hours just to finish one load oh yeah
01:17:23
really yeah but i have one hour longer sometimes what a two hour what are you doing three are you sure freeze out baby the sun will be out baby
01:17:36
are you jerking off the entire time i take breaks out baby the sun is out i understand
01:17:43
that can i ask you this can't you do like two or three what are you talking about i mean it's like are you like you know
01:17:51
what it is it desensitizes you cause uh i noticed that i'll get sick of watching one scene and
01:18:01
i'm like ah this is not doing it and then i'll cut to another you know what i mean it's just like boom boom boom boom yeah
01:18:06
that's why it takes so long i mean i i'll be honest with you i have gone through
01:18:12
five or six videos right hundreds yeah but tons do you need help then what are you talking about if you have to look at hundreds of videos not a hundred maybe fifty is that normal
01:18:23
no it's not fifties i'm trying yeah it's normal 50 is difficult yeah yeah yeah maybe you should just take a break you think you know what
01:18:34
that's healthy are you worried about me i'm worried about i'll tell you what i'll tell you what i'm worried about a
01:18:40
terrible word i'm worried about and this is really good to talk about really this is not comedy but um
01:18:45
what i'm worried about is um you know one night we were all wait waiting for you for war zone and we're trying to contact you and
01:18:59
dylan and i and that you weren't around so we went in you thought the worst no you didn't that you died okay i
01:19:06
thought you guys thought something happened no and then you said i just woke up and it was like 12 30 at night
01:19:13
oh i'm i'm improving though because since this is a bros yeah i mean no no i'm just saying that
01:19:19
worries me that you're waking up at 12 30. my sleeping schedule and i'm not blaming i'm not saying you're partly to blame but as a kid but as a kid i'm not deflecting i'm just
01:19:31
kind of let's go down the timeline you ought to do it let's go down the timeline let's go check it out i remember when we were
01:19:36
kids before he started stand up he'd be like not you know come in my room hey you know mark like martin lawrence stand up
01:19:43
he's about you know like he would talk about stand-up specials hey stay up with me and watch this thing and so i remember i'm not blaming you
01:19:49
but i'm just giving you it sounds like you're blaming me no no i'm just giving you a timeline call give me the timeline and so i just remember like oh okay i'll
01:19:57
i'll stay up i'll stay up you know like hollywood shuffle all these great like movies or comedy specials yeah i make them stay until
01:20:04
midnight no no longer than that like this is the vhs days and everything and i just remember back then i'm like
01:20:10
all right i'll stay up and then it's i just remember it started back then it's progressively got worse and then i
01:20:16
have i'm on my phone it's not my fault i have myself to blame right now it's everything he's been waking up earlier though we've been
01:20:22
doing this gas way earlier brother yeah keep going he's on time every every time shows up early yeah
01:20:29
when do you shoot though 7 pm oh you do yeah keep going keep going he he shows up with that he shows up
01:20:37
with ideas he he thinks about stuff all week he comes up with every challenge that we do from week to week oh wow wow yeah
01:20:43
every week we shoot extra content at least once or twice a week outside of when we record the podcast
01:20:49
talk about the ad reads we do very unique ad reads okay where we dress up i'm always early that's what i'm worried
01:20:56
about is this though it's um you know um i just feel like you know i just want you to be in a relationship keep in mind i went through a breakup it's only been
01:21:07
five six months right give me that let me go through my thing you know what i mean let me go through it a little bit uh okay because you didn't use that you
01:21:18
know because let's talk about real time things have happened and i have been in a dark spot but yeah
01:21:24
we're i'm crawling out of it right jeremiah yeah he's been dating some people and stuff he's
01:21:29
trying to meet he doesn't have a car i know we're working we're working on that we're working on it okay you get a car license yeah you get
01:21:36
vaccinated there's certain things that he just doesn't he's sort of like off the
01:21:42
off the grid i know i understand i'm concerned i'm there to help him with that yeah he's
01:21:47
been great we've been doing positive things let's keep it positive baby contestant number one please introduce yourself my name is panjani mcgivens and i'm from um yellowstone
01:22:03
elementary school um in lubbock texas and um that's it okay so how do you spell intelligence
01:22:15
i n t e [Laughter] that was incorrect i know it was was that correct or incorrect incorrect well i lost then go ahead okay uh please uh enter yourself
01:22:42
uh timothy kramer tucson arizona hi timothy uh hunker chief can you use it in a sentence please yes i use my handkerchief when i cry to wipe
01:22:57
my tears hankerchief hank hank am i saying that correctly yes h a and k e r c h i e f almost handkerchief thank you for
01:23:32
participating uh but no no incorrect all right our last contestant here uh please introduce yourself hi my name's darius finnegan you have to
01:23:44
stand up i got it yeah you have to stand up right there oh no no no no that's good that's good that's good hi my name is you're in your wheelchair
01:23:54
yeah yeah hi my name is darius finnegan i got a sacagawea grade school i'm ready for the
01:24:02
word logoria can you repeat the word please logaria margarita no lageria one more time logaria logaria yes
01:24:23
could i get the definition of the word please a tendency to extreme loquacity could you use it in a sentence
01:24:30
please yes my economist professor lagoria can be frustrated in times i'm kind of having bad flashbacks right now logaria yes
01:24:56
l a g u r i l l a logaria [Music] your incorrect i'll love you to the end of time
01:25:35
my friends bad friends good friends and all the friends you have in the world don't say no cause you
01:25:58
i know that you're a dream okay thanks for tuning in thanks for being a bad friend
01:26:10
[Music] we haven't started yet we like that though i love it what the [ __ ] are you doing
01:26:28
richard ramirez is my favorite serial killer he snuck into your house [Music] rape i don't know no that's not no i'm not gonna start with that that's that's too dark it was too dark
01:26:55
[Music]