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you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude you two
00:00:07
are disgusting well you two or something we're bad friends i missed you man did you
00:00:14
i think so whatever bob no i i i honestly i think so we just stopped just stop it wait wait stop before you
00:00:21
came in here dude before you came here i was talking to the guys and i go and juliana could
00:00:27
rudy can attest to it is this true i'm going internal okay you know i'm going internal with you you seem
00:00:32
different yeah i'm going internal and when i'm trying to took you to 50 to try to be a good person 49
00:00:38
49 all right i'm going internal and i'm trying to um not be such a bully not to be um i joke
00:00:46
aggressively and i'm trying to you joke from a place of insecurity but go ahead
00:00:53
i'm gonna let that you know what i'm gonna let that slide what because you know my my my old self
00:00:59
would have fought back my old self would have been like uh i disagree or whatever right can i tell
00:01:04
you the difference already the last time i came here yeah the first thing you said when you came in is you insulted me
00:01:10
yeah you insulted me and you were attacking me yeah this time you said hey you look good and it was hard for you to say i could
00:01:16
tell it was hard but that was you making an effort and i appreciate it it's it was
00:01:21
so hard yeah i know i could tell it was like it was like they asked me to um speak at like the rnc
00:01:27
convention right and you gotta be pro-trump and you gotta say the speech yeah it's
00:01:32
like it just goes against every thing that i believe in but i'll do it because if they paid you you'd do it no they would i wouldn't
00:01:38
okay you know what maybe you're right you know what maybe maybe you're right
00:01:43
dude no i'm not arguing i'm not arguing maybe you're right i mean you did the dictator you know what i mean
00:01:50
okay okay you know man you know what it is i'm just testing you i want to see if i can make you cry yeah you're not
00:01:56
going to make me crap today i really you can come back i agree with you man are we going to call this like uh
00:02:01
are we going to call this like uh you know toenail clipper brothers so we
00:02:06
could very good do you do you feel a sense of betrayal from steve no
00:02:12
not at all listen yeah not at all i tweeted about them i'm i'm happy i mean i think they're a good
00:02:17
combination yeah they're both insane you know what i mean no they're not saying they're both the same kind of person yeah yeah you know i
00:02:24
agree they're um i don't want to say it i'm not gonna say it what you're not gonna say just say it
00:02:30
no i don't wanna say it it's a safe space it's my brother yeah you've said worse
00:02:36
you think because it's your brother they have the same kind of insecurities yes i agree that's what i'm saying yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and them together
00:02:42
they can just feed off each other and also they feel comfortable with each other because yeah i don't know it looks so
00:02:48
good man are they they try i i'm i'm happy you look good i said i know i just i don't believe you so i'm
00:02:53
just like whatever uh you just i'm trying dude i'm down 40 pounds in body fat looks good you look good thank you okay thank you
00:02:59
let's start then ah this is so dry you're not gonna yo let me just say something and i'm gonna
00:03:05
be i wanna be very out you're asian bro i wanna i wanna say something normally i
00:03:10
would say you're so asian normally i would say you have a big fat black head and that wouldn't fit on it
00:03:16
right oh so i like how he said it anyway no i wouldn't like normally i would have said that but what i'm saying let me
00:03:22
finish right i'm just saying that they made that too small yeah yeah yeah yeah hey welcome to bad friends give eric
00:03:28
griffin a round of applause he's here you know what i wanted to do i wanted to
00:03:33
come here one time and do like and call it no friends
00:03:38
are we i mean let's let's and i would be here like no one's there this is me being no one's there be no friends
00:03:44
you know like we almost called our podcast roofing without griffin which is by the way hilarious i laughed
00:03:51
so hard when i saw it if if we would have called it that would you been angry well first of all you wouldn't have called it that i know but because you're
00:03:57
no your ego wouldn't have allowed to just have griffin in the name without you yeah but it would have been i think it would have been hurtful no way
00:04:04
i know at the time though okay my tone my tone at the time though right
00:04:10
you i had promised you because remember you and i went to atc i know brother we drove to atc before
00:04:17
andrew was even in the middle yes we met with al madrigal can i tell you something this is the only reason why i was upset that was it it
00:04:25
was because you weren't up front with me we already went over this but i'm just saying all these things i keep hearing about this is like i am
00:04:31
not i you guys are still my friends you think i don't i'm mad at you or something like that no i don't care
00:04:38
um i don't really care but my point i know but here's what i want i want to get to the point of uh-huh
00:04:44
right um and that's and that was my honest thing um i want to just get to the po i want to be my energies i want to get
00:04:51
to the point where um i don't think that none of us are real friends why would you say no let me just think
00:04:58
let's okay let's just let's go down this path for a second please please because at the here's you
00:05:03
know first to find how about this before you going on this path yeah define
00:05:09
what a friend is a friend is what i feel toward kalila oh no no no no no no no no no
00:05:17
no no no no no no aside from the sexual you know me energy and and
00:05:22
and uh i trust her with my money okay
00:05:29
i trust her with um if i tell her a secret i i just know that she'll keep it i trust her with just certain things
00:05:35
that i would trust my brother with you know it's just like this deeper okay but how did you get understanding
00:05:42
because um we just i don't know how we got there we just did time i've known you for [ __ ] over
00:05:48
longer i understand that so you're the only person on on the other side of this that thinks the way you think
00:05:55
no i i because listen to this point of view though real quick now now i just wanted to hear what you
00:06:00
thought a friend of us so now i get it so it's like so before okay so you know we live our
00:06:06
regular we were born you were born right and i was hatched is that what you want me to say or arrived from
00:06:11
from internment there was a beam of light you know from you act like you're like a normal korean looking i am very
00:06:18
normal what are you talking about dude if you didn't know me right and you put my face next to 50 other korean dudes you'd be like oh
00:06:24
yeah no you look like like remember how the cabbage patch dolls looked remember how like they had like a really
00:06:30
fat head and like a sl like the body you look like that it's like a compact version of it's more
00:06:38
of a garbage pail kid yeah yeah yeah steve looks more like a korean like he whatever what do i look like then
00:06:45
whatever gene got to you go ahead be mean i'm not being like what do i look like
00:06:50
tell me what i look like i'm just saying we both came from the same planet okay
00:06:55
don't act like you're all cute all right thank you go ahead all right so um you
00:07:01
look like i don't know i've already heard on like radio shows and whatever because people are sending me clips of youtube
00:07:08
[ __ ] about me for no reason okay i apologize do you i do okay now go on with friend
00:07:15
please tell me why you think we're not friends no we aren't friends no no no no you just said we weren't you said we're not really friends
00:07:22
i'm going internal guys can i go internal go ahead right so um i was thinking about this
00:07:29
it's like you know you're born you know you you grew up in you know a town you did right yeah okay
00:07:35
and and um do you think i was like in a colony or some kind of thing i don't know where
00:07:40
you're from man i know anything about i'm from l.a all right so you're from l.a yeah the city yeah
00:07:46
thank you so um and then you you know you have your neighborhood you're you you have to
00:07:51
become friends with the people that are in your environment right not necessarily but that's what you said
00:07:57
back in the day in we'd have no internet or anything so yeah right so you you go to school and
00:08:03
you see i don't know how many people were in your class but i had like 300 people in my class you started the neighborhood
00:08:09
right your neighborhood first yeah right right like i had a buddy across the street marius yeah buddy and you have like oliver that
00:08:15
lives you know i mean two streets right right exactly frank yeah and then like frank is into like you know i mean
00:08:21
he eats tree bark so you're like oh but frank but oliver seems normal so then you just
00:08:26
forced yeah yeah yeah you'd be friends with oliver right because there's no one else there's no one else right you don't want to walk two or three blocks
00:08:33
you just stuck with like whoever's living there right and then you go to school i had about 300 people in my class
00:08:39
and then you have this this is basically you know i mean a pool of people yeah and you go which one those are your
00:08:46
facebook friends they're right there but because and then when you get older you move out and the world opens up
00:08:52
right and then the internet obviously and then all of a sudden you know you have then you then you
00:08:59
follow then you discover the thing that you're gonna do for the rest of your life okay
00:09:05
you know what i mean is stand up okay right for you and then all of a
00:09:11
sudden you know you're amongst a smaller group of people
00:09:16
like you're back in school and then you're picking amongst like you know if i've met like at the
00:09:22
companies how many regulars do you think we have i don't know let's say 200 right paid
00:09:28
regulars okay you know some of them don't get spots there's probably a thousand
00:09:33
yeah wow that's actually a good question to think about yeah it's it's i think that there's a regular the comedy store is like you know almost
00:09:39
like a u.s president there's not that many i know but there's also like what are you googling
00:09:46
they're not going to have that listed they're going to have that listed man well they might look at that paid regular's comedy store maybe they're
00:09:52
maybe there there's a list i've never thought to even look at this paid regulars oh there you go oh there
00:09:57
is a list wow oh my god what a stupid way to do the list yeah yeah yeah this is all the way down
00:10:05
that looks like about a thousand just count down and across that that looks about a thousand names could be right yeah
00:10:12
but i see like lenny schultz never seen him yeah yeah there's a lot of people on there if i'm not on there i'm gonna see
00:10:19
i see your name right there bobby lee jody miller okay okay yeah karen haber bobby yeah but you got like
00:10:24
look at the list harry basil yeah you know who he is yeah yeah harry yeah i love harry yeah yeah but harry when's the last i've never seen him he's
00:10:30
a club owner now yeah yeah and then you have melrose larry green i don't know who that is you have kelly rogers have you ever
00:10:37
heard of her the fat doctor maybe we both you know that guy that was you knew it you see what we're saying i was gonna
00:10:44
count down i was to count down i saw that when i was like let me see how fast he was so quick it was like they took out
00:10:50
the i said i didn't know his hat he was like that's you unbelievable that's what they call you
00:10:55
you don't know that oh bobby that's a fat doctor okay okay anyway um all right take that off please spanky hayes
00:11:01
yeah charlie hill yeah so mostly people we don't even know you know spanky haze no oh i love spanky haze spanky hayes is um
00:11:08
a little i'm not being i'm being real spanky hayes is this little black kid he's my height
00:11:15
shaved head fat same body type right and him and i back in we were open
00:11:21
micros together and him and i wrote a movie back then it's called it was called war
00:11:28
babies war babies yeah so basically we're brothers but we're like
00:11:33
how did you betray him did you do the movie instead with like a white guy [Laughter]
00:11:47
it's because i need a mustache on this lip i think that's what it is that's what's [ __ ] up yeah my lip is please grow a facial hair i'm doing it
00:11:53
it's coming back yeah it's just not yeah let's start over no no bobby bobby let's start over
00:12:00
no i want to continue with this all right look you start with look you go to you go to middle school
00:12:06
you have those friends you don't keep in touch with them you go to high school you have some high school buds you sort of keep in contact with them
00:12:13
more than you keep in contact with anyone else but you go to college if you go to college all right and
00:12:18
those are some people that you know you have some similar interest but for us like in your entertainers like you you whatever you do if you
00:12:24
started working and then you started doing entertainment look there's a class of people you start with you have these open mic people but what happens is
00:12:30
once you start to surpass them it's hard to keep in contact with them it's hard to stay friends with
00:12:36
that's what i'm saying okay because that's that's exactly thank you so much yeah okay fat doctor um
00:12:46
thank you the doctor has spoken [Laughter] so um what that's exactly what i'm
00:12:52
saying because there was a lot of guys that open mics with that we would like create stuff with yeah yeah
00:12:57
and all of a sudden you're like you become a paid regular mm-hmm and then they're here and then all of a
00:13:02
sudden you get tv spots they're still here and all of a sudden you run into them and then you're hanging out with all of
00:13:10
us what happens is you start getting [ __ ] and then the cooler ones
00:13:15
or the ones that you perceive to be cooler which is so shallow think about it so shallow like you'll
00:13:20
like a gentle neck will go what's up angle me right
00:13:26
you're talking to me right and all of a sudden this guy that you were in open mics with right
00:13:32
you just start drifting apart are you still friends with the guys you started with no exactly
00:13:38
not really what happened well it's just again you you you move on your life your life is that does that make us shallow no i
00:13:45
don't know if it necessarily makes you shallow so much as it makes you like you you need to be around like-minded people sometimes in the same way that like
00:13:52
chappelle chris rock and those type of people you know they they can sit around and have conversations about oh man
00:13:59
you know yeah we made 20 million from netflix but i hate when netflix does this thing and they can complain about
00:14:04
that i want to say something embarrassing that happened to me so i was doing that game show game on
00:14:13
so i'm standing there with this this showed me where i was at in show business all right so i'm
00:14:18
standing there with keegan you know michael keaton yeah and keegan we were just talking or whatever and then all of a sudden
00:14:24
when we shot our game on next to what was that cedric show what's that called neighborhood neighborhood the
00:14:30
neighborhood yeah it's still still on the air yeah insane absolutely insane just get me on
00:14:38
something like that yeah i know so cedric's walking down this lot right and king goes come on
00:14:46
let's go say hi to cedric and i go in my head i start running with him but
00:14:52
as i'm running you know you know keegan's run i'm running right in my head i'm like i
00:14:58
don't know [Laughter] right i'm running with them like this right now we get to them right
00:15:04
and they embrace it was as as if they had served in vietnam
00:15:09
together yeah you know charlie yeah yeah frank you know what i mean i thought you were and they just
00:15:15
hugged right and i go i tapped cedric cause i'm there what am i gonna do right
00:15:22
so i go what's up right he goes no [Laughter]
00:15:29
that's all he said he goes okay he goes no i got one for you yeah tell you what happened to me okay i'm i'm i'm out i'm having brunch
00:15:36
i'm having brunch with gerard carmichael i love him okay love girard all right he he has got it like i just
00:15:42
saw him in new york and i was like hey we want to have dinner tomorrow and he's like hi mike but i'm having a meeting with robert downey jr
00:15:48
i'm not sure if this is and i was like of course you are yeah yeah okay anyway we're having brunch up walks jamie foxx okay with a couple
00:15:56
people jamie foxx is like talking to jerrod yeah gl he's just like oh
00:16:01
man his show was on the air at the time yeah he's going in and in and then they're talking i'm chiming in when i can yeah whatever
00:16:08
and then jamie foxx goes well let me get you let me get you let me get your number
00:16:13
to draw it to draw you want to they want to exchange numbers yeah jamie foxx looks at me as if
00:16:20
i'm supposed to get the number for gerard you're the assistant yeah you're the
00:16:26
assistant he looked at me like i was one of his you're the assistant one of his dudes that's just around yeah yeah
00:16:31
and i was like wow yeah yeah like really it's insane it's it's so i i
00:16:37
totally get what you're saying yeah but let's extrapolate this further okay because this is what i'm really getting from this right okay
00:16:45
you think you shouldn't be my friend anymore that's what it is are you out of your
00:16:51
control yeah yeah you it's your mind i don't know all right you think that like you're now you're a lot of jamie foxx and cedric
00:16:57
and so this is why you don't want to you don't you think that like somehow you're not supposed to be friends with me is your mind mental right now or what oh
00:17:04
come on let's go let's just wait let me let's be real let's just be honest
00:17:10
that's beyond this is why you give me that give me that this is why you wanted to be with this guy give me that guy you were like you know what andrew's a he's more
00:17:16
famous and so this will probably be a better match-up and i'll make a point give it a message
00:17:21
and be better for you in the long run that's how you thought about it this is my relationship with andrew give me the mask all right just watch this this
00:17:29
one gesture right this one gesture will tell you the relationship i have with the guy all
00:17:35
right ready uh-huh listen i love him but we
00:17:43
bobby you build friendships over time and experience we had our experience
00:17:50
together we went to the middle east we dealt with all that all right yeah and then when we came back we've had
00:17:55
these experiences we go eat when we can we we've had these conversations we've done these podcasts you're my friend for life
00:18:01
yeah but bobby you don't i don't think you really believe that or you don't act like that no matter
00:18:06
what i do all right no matter what it no matter how many times i try to like let you know hey man
00:18:11
i'm your friend i'm here for you you still somehow you just don't want to believe it like you
00:18:16
feel like at some point i'm going to pull a knife out and stab you in the back you know and i don't get where you get
00:18:22
that from you know maybe it's from your lifelong experiences you have with people so you have to like so the only
00:18:28
way to really be your friend is i have to live with you and start a podcast with you and like you know take care of you
00:18:34
bring my family around to to you know to watch you secretly you know what i mean is this
00:18:39
the only way that you can have a close friend
00:18:45
that's what i'm getting at what i'm getting is i love you oh god i mean
00:18:54
calm me down going down this path that's where i was going yeah is it i love you so much oh my god that's
00:18:59
where we're at do you yeah i do because you know you make cause let me ask you [ __ ] you man
00:19:04
you got me yeah i hit me you know you made me get really hard and mad now you make it really
00:19:14
that whenever right like this [ __ ] situation right whenever andrew's like
00:19:20
you know we got to get another guy and i go i always throw out one or two people right you're always
00:19:27
either one or two it's either my brother or you why [ __ ] hard the reason why
00:19:33
[ __ ] is hard is there a proof of this all right all right dr fat is this all right fat doctor fat doctor sorry i don't want to [ __ ] up
00:19:39
here [Laughter] is because i i love you and i i believe
00:19:46
that we have good chemistry together we're very funny together yeah you know what the best time i that you remember my cousin had the
00:19:51
movie my cousin's husband had the movie yeah ej ej i still work with him
00:19:58
okay he hasn't called me since the movie but that really infuriates me by the way um
00:20:06
better health oh gee you know i should i should take more advantage of this service i should
00:20:12
too i mean i've used it before and i love it i think everyone should be using it because if there's something interfering with what's going on in your
00:20:17
life uh with happiness and preventing you from achieving goals better help is here to assess your need and match you would
00:20:23
your own licensed professional therapist it's well i'm going to tell you what it is andrew i'll tell you what it's not
00:20:29
it's not a crisis line right it's not self-help what it is is professional counseling
00:20:35
done securely online and it's available worldwide yeah and it has a broad range of
00:20:41
expertise available which may not be locally available in many areas and it really is a great service my whole family has used
00:20:48
it yeah i've used it multiple times look let's talk from uh from reality bob and i both use better help we both have
00:20:54
sought therapy out in different ways this is more affordable than traditional uh offline counseling which i really like
00:20:59
and you can do it from the privacy of your own home so if you're someone that doesn't like talking to people about talking to people great do it at the privacy of your house
00:21:06
you don't need to tell anybody you can you can uh you can start talking to someone in in 48 hours which i think it's
00:21:12
affordable too it's more affordable than all traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available that's right
00:21:18
uh so many people been using it better helps uh recruiting additional counselors in 50 states this podcast is sponsored by better help
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00:21:28
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00:21:33
and join the over one million people who have taken charge of their mental health with
00:21:40
the help of an experienced professional doordash let me say something to you andrew um
00:21:46
i've said this before when i go to hawaii the only app that i use when to get my food is doordash yeah
00:21:51
because it has the most drivers it has the friendliest drivers they have i feel like they have access
00:21:56
to the all the best restaurants yes if you look at my doordash app um i can even read you off see what i ordered
00:22:03
all the things that i've ordered let's see let's go to doordash right here and it says right here doordash and it says um
00:22:11
pizza pizza and ra and ramen that's what your says pizza ramen thai is what the last three things that i've
00:22:16
ordered from there and oh no that's not true i ordered liquor but you know that's because i'm a booze hound that's what i like to do i would like to
00:22:21
order booze anyway um it's the best and i don't know how i would have survived without this app
00:22:27
doordash connects you with the restaurants you love right now and right to your door and now you can get the grocery
00:22:33
essentials you need with doordash too get drinks snacks and other house
00:22:38
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00:22:44
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00:23:07
doordash app and enter code badfriends2021. that's 25 off up to a 10 value and zero delivery
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00:23:19
don't forget that's code bad friends 2021 for 25 off your first order with
00:23:24
doordash substitutes change terms apply so you know my cousin's husband
00:23:31
is a producer yeah so he goes i did this independent movie sean austin's in it right they changed the name what's it called i
00:23:38
don't know what it's called yet yeah they changed the name it was supposed to be something games but they changed the name yeah it's about to come out it was
00:23:43
good it's it's gonna be called no one it doesn't matter because no one's gonna ever see it
00:23:49
hey whoa okay but i'm kidding it's a great movie and uh i love you ej hence why your
00:23:55
cousin's husband doesn't call you but go on so um that day we worked one day right
00:24:01
yeah right that was and i vividly remember that day i remember going wow i've never been on a sat you know i
00:24:08
mean with somebody that i'm this close to yeah i really wish we would have got every time i see superstore i think man
00:24:17
no let's go back to superstar that could have been us you tested for superstar right yes i got pinned and when you
00:24:25
when you break so what i'm saying is is that they you know what they they wanted someone to be gay for
00:24:31
that role and it's fine yeah they can choose whoever they want to right but um i i did want to be on a show with
00:24:40
you that was my dream but i whenever i do get on a show it just gets canceled
00:24:45
right away i know yeah what do you mean i know well i mean i know you hear that magic touch
00:24:53
[Laughter] no bobby look let's get back to it no no
00:24:58
here's the thing it's okay here's the thing i think we're going down that really weird no we're not we're going into the real world let's go differently
00:25:04
this is did you see mortal kombat no we'll get to that here's the thing so the one day we're playing like i'm
00:25:10
playing video games you know you hit me up yo you know can i what are you doing because you only hit
00:25:15
me up with like you you have somebody somebody you need three to do your rebirth island so you're like who can we okay get let's see if eric
00:25:21
i'm i'm already playing with someone and this this is how you always respond does he have more credits than me is he
00:25:27
more powerful than me in hollywood that's what you think
00:25:32
makes like i should have said that that's this is how you are you do this all the time i wish you said that you go does he have more credit to
00:25:39
me okay okay what do i say i go bobby it doesn't matter this is my friend i'm sorry can i just say it okay could that been could that been a a joke
00:25:47
you know it wasn't because you say that all the time i know i do it as a joke a runner is it yeah it's called the callback runner
00:25:54
but the point is yeah i'm blushing now that you know that is something i've said and i are you blushing with me
00:26:01
because it feels it feels like i'm blushing it's like when i poked i talked to him i poked the director in the stomach
00:26:06
what yeah so i was um in hungary no no i was years ago i auditioned for this
00:26:12
movie and i did a good one and the and the director was um chubby right i know i [ __ ] up
00:26:20
and and you know how like after the audition tell me you didn't make like no no i did some marshmallow i did something i
00:26:26
did something work okay so you know right after you know you when you're done with the audition you just leave right yeah but so every once in a while
00:26:32
something magical happens where they go stay and when they say stay they to they ask more questions about you and
00:26:38
you know at that point they want to know how you're like or what you're like
00:26:43
so that you know when you're on set they can feel you don't mean comfortable with you so you go tell me about yourself and i'm
00:26:50
in my head i'm like i got this uh-oh right how'd you [ __ ] it up and i was really close to him
00:26:56
like we were like really close and we're like laughing about something right and
00:27:01
during we both had this laugh right
00:27:06
and i went fatty and i poked him in the tummy
00:27:12
right i go fat like this and he goes thank you
00:27:17
and as i turned around and i left right sweat fear and just regret
00:27:25
just like what is wrong with you well that's just being too familiar you know what it is that's the comic
00:27:30
that's yes the comedian like we don't know how to turn that off in regular society that's what i'm saying i know it's like
00:27:36
like one time i was at the iron man premiere okay holy [ __ ] this guy with jamie foxx in the iron time premiere
00:27:42
yeah i don't know why you didn't go i never get invited to anything you know at the time ahmed invited me to this
00:27:47
at the time you know so we're at the iron man premiere we i want to talk about that guy but all right we're at this party okay and
00:27:54
it was fancy-ass party because i didn't know robert downey jr i didn't even know none of this at the time that he was the star so everybody was there all right it
00:28:00
was like this big thing this is a long time ago yeah a long time ago it's crowded man yeah yeah okay i
00:28:07
turn and pee diddy literally bobby he's this close to me like this
00:28:12
and i turned it his face was like this yeah in my mind i wanted to [Laughter]
00:28:18
you know just to be like just to be like oh i kissed p diddy yeah i wanted to be the kiss bandit yeah just
00:28:24
a real quick yeah so and i had that impulse but i said don't do that what are you doing but it's that kind of comedian thing
00:28:30
you're just in a moment you just want to do something like and you think right you're you yeah and then you get that response when people go what the
00:28:36
[ __ ] is wrong with you yeah sometimes your gut yeah you have to go against yourself yes right and you can't no you don't know
00:28:42
which one is right right so you go so i should when before i did that i should have said ah maybe
00:28:47
i think it's an 80 20. right 80 to go bad right if it was like 90 10 90
00:28:53
positive right i might have done it but that was like a 90 10 the other other way but but
00:28:58
i know in your head you think if he likes this this is going to be he's going to write three movies yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's gonna
00:29:05
be a series you're gonna be his clint howard to ron howard right you know what i mean yeah just uh but it just didn't it didn't work it did
00:29:12
yeah it did it didn't go well i know exactly what you're saying you have these moments and you just go oh i don't know why i
00:29:17
[ __ ] did that yeah oh i have i have another one for you to talk about all right so this is just what happened
00:29:23
in new york all right you know so right first of all ray romano calls me
00:29:28
when i'm in the hotel i know i'm going to hear from him because he's the freaking director right how did you audition for it i auditioned
00:29:34
for it i just auditioned on tape and then like like two months later i get the part you know what i
00:29:40
mean oh great you know because i just read for something like two days ago and already today i woke up going i didn't get it
00:29:45
no no no it takes a while only because two they don't know what how they're gonna shoot with all these stupid
00:29:50
restrictions so he calls me i'm geeking out i don't know why but i just am legend it's [ __ ] a legend legend and
00:29:56
his voice is so distinct right he invites me out he goes yo we're gonna go to gonna get some pizza in the city
00:30:02
and we're gonna go to the cellar in new york in new york i know i knew that yeah okay all right so while we're eating he says this he
00:30:08
goes you know i said yeah i auditioned i didn't think i was going to get it he goes even before the audition you were
00:30:14
the first choice i wanted you all right and i'm like wow i get into my dressing room now later on
00:30:20
on set and the clothes come the clothes have a tag on it and it says my dj
00:30:26
my name in the movie is dj joey bones it says gj joey bones actor muhammad amir
00:30:34
i was like oh [ __ ] and i i should have just let it go but you know the same thing happened to
00:30:41
me i walk up to him i had underwear don't know i i got cooked to break i say hey uh yeah um
00:30:47
you know first choice but i was doing it as a joke but at the
00:30:53
same time i was like at the same time i'm like don't [ __ ] tell me i was the first choice if i wasn't
00:30:58
it doesn't matter i'm never the first choice i get it i know i have to like so i was like yeah so you know the clothes muhammad amir huh when did he
00:31:05
i said when did he drop out you know he goes he goes he's like no man he was a new york hire
00:31:12
yeah we it's a but low budget movie we're trying to save money so we didn't you know he low budget and he couldn't do at the last minute
00:31:17
but you were the first you know yeah and i know he was mad at like whoever put that right right with the even the game show
00:31:25
that i did it was it was jimmy yang oh right and he couldn't do it wow right and they
00:31:31
told me i was first choice i hate that and then he and then there was a and then i i didn't tell
00:31:37
the producers but you know me yeah yeah i told everyone else oh bro i know why too i'm right there i told
00:31:43
everyone else we're kindred spirits and then one day and then one day i show up into my dressing room and the
00:31:48
producers are there we just want to let you know we want to let you know you don't know how these deals work buddy
00:31:55
that's what you said you don't know how these deals work and what we do is we throw out three names right they're all equal value all right
00:32:02
and we and we put them on on the table and we we right and you happen to be in the in the pile of the a ones that we wanted
00:32:09
right we had this name this name in this name right it was mix and match mix and match that's how it works buddy right
00:32:15
when the whole time i knew that i would call my agent go am i doing this he's like yeah they're
00:32:21
still negotiating with jimmy it's fine i did it he didn't do it yeah
00:32:27
yeah and it's fine but there is bobby yeah i know we're on the same page with this come on
00:32:33
there's still a part of you that's like you want to be the first choice we're never going to be
00:32:38
listen we're never going to be no no we're third can i take for this pilot can i tell you what i went through for this pilot i know and you know
00:32:44
because you could call me and i would be like i was gonna say turn it down dude because after you do two bro just
00:32:51
listen after you do two if you're right if you don't know after two if you don't know i'm not doing it again
00:32:58
all right okay cool so i get you know i do the first of all can we talk about mortal kombat or we can all right
00:33:06
this is how we'll launch our movie i'm so hot right now go ahead it is warm in here um i you know i do this audition
00:33:13
it's zoom it's in front of the producers so i go in i i have my room set up i'm ready to go
00:33:19
i'm waiting 20 minutes past the time i'm calling my manager like yo is it i got to write you know
00:33:24
they they pop on the screen hi eric hi rick hi hurry how are you you know i'm like oh okay whoa you know then they
00:33:30
they all go away they have the one girl who i'm reading with i read it one time then they go thank you that was great i
00:33:35
was like well that's that you know when it's like one time read yeah you get healthy gone then i find out oh you're gonna test
00:33:42
great test once they call me they they want you to can you do it again but can you shave off
00:33:48
all your wait wait so you're testing you're at your house which is much better though than being
00:33:53
on on a lot in some uncomfortable office you know what when i look back on it i actually feel like this quarantine
00:34:01
streaming online gaming and doing the podcast by myself trained me for like oh i i can just be
00:34:08
my you know the best version of myself just like this with no one you know it's better so i think that i think it's better yeah and i had the
00:34:14
lights it was fine yeah but i did it once and they were like no can you shave off your all your face uh-huh and we want you to
00:34:20
read with nicole richie you want to read with her wait wait she's my wife on the show nicole richie yeah she's she's acting
00:34:28
yeah apparently she's good by the way good i love surprise i knew nuclear richie
00:34:34
before did you know that yeah she's she's a sweetheart she's i knew her when she was in high school
00:34:40
dude you know i love that girl i told her i was like who nicole riches wow
00:34:46
i i know this kid she doesn't know she hasn't seen anything i know it's just i already know it's like did the
00:34:53
age gap now now i get it you know look at her you know and here's what the can i tell you what the problem is
00:34:58
let me tell you what the program the problem is you know who lionel richie is american idol host that's happy how you
00:35:04
would only know him from hello sounds familiar is it me
00:35:10
no that
00:35:15
adele is hello it's me it's a different song yeah maybe i sing
00:35:23
it yeah yeah you know him yeah he has a daughter named nicole richie but they're not blood related you know that right
00:35:28
even though they look alike i know it's weird it is weird maybe there's something we don't know sweet girl and she's dope she's just a
00:35:34
regular ass mom too yeah you know anyway the problem is i know what it is with my gray beard even though she's
00:35:42
like she just she tells herself she's about to be 40. yeah but she looks 21. yeah yeah so could we
00:35:49
be married i think that was what the thing was they made me shave off don't even start stop it don't be mean
00:35:57
sitcoms are full of hot women ugly husbands that's how it works i don't buy it
00:36:04
i honestly can i just be cause i want to be you know i'm going internal i honestly don't buy it if i i don't i
00:36:10
can't see you with it like if i'm watching a show i think you're great but if i want you
00:36:15
to show don't throw that in yeah yeah and there's a scene where you know i mean there's a
00:36:21
attractive or or even like mid-range girl right lady in bed right and she's like saying some
00:36:27
set up to a joke you're right by the way you're back this is your back so whatever work you've done in your life
00:36:33
and then they do a pan to you right i'm gonna be like intruder or something right that doesn't
00:36:39
do you feel good about yourself right now did that feel good it felt good you know what [ __ ] internal i'm gonna go outward i'm gonna i'm gonna be myself
00:36:46
[ __ ] it right let me say something to you right you're a very funny guy but you and nicole richie there's no way
00:36:52
yeah well it was it happened yeah and it worked it worked it worked great didn't get picked up i don't know yet okay we'll see we'll see you know it's
00:36:59
so funny because you've had so many cool jobs that i've like been so jealous of especially when you worked with captain picard oh
00:37:06
yeah blunt talk it was great i mean it's like it it makes me angry
00:37:11
why because i love that guy so much now is it about that or is it about some sort of flight anyway did you see mortal
00:37:17
kombat did you see it see mortal
00:37:24
it's okay to have like a a what do you want to say envious jealousy and that kind of thing it's fine bobby you've had
00:37:29
it you have a great career you're on mad tv for like 19 years okay you had a long lustrous career
00:37:37
at mtv you've done a lot of great movies right come on name some of them help me
00:37:44
dictator dictator what else another one splitting together that's a show that
00:37:51
was a show did you see mortal kombat i did give me what did you like do you like it the only thing i liked about it was that
00:37:57
it was rated r because if it was pg-13 and there was no blood it would have been
00:38:02
because there would be the what what are we doing yeah what are we doing you know i i i it just they're it's like when
00:38:09
scorpion throws the thing right yeah and he goes get over here when he says
00:38:15
that yeah he throws it right don't you think it's cooler if he doesn't say it
00:38:20
yeah even in the game it's just better to just to pull him over yeah you know what i mean but then over
00:38:26
here it's like and then you you have to thin your head right i have no choice
00:38:34
right i'm going over right because you're being pulled over there i thought that the beginning of the movie the first 15 minutes yeah was the
00:38:41
best part of the movie oh my god when you saw the first 15 minutes i was like this is going to be good not only good
00:38:47
the greatest thing ever made yeah i feel like this is great this is real yeah right it you know it it puts these
00:38:54
characters in a you know a real believable setting and by the way nothing's better than
00:38:59
those like asian movies those where it's like that you know the noble asian guy and
00:39:06
you know he's got his family and he cares about his family and it's always shot in some like village jungle thing
00:39:11
like that and it's like a jungle thing yeah yeah there's always like some like you know jungle yeah it's like a jungles of korea
00:39:17
or whatever jungle in korea [ __ ] whatever they do those movies are always the best yeah those those
00:39:23
are like when did it go bad right after that like right after you know when it went
00:39:28
to modern times well it was i was like what you know you're watching and you're going you see the beginning you're like
00:39:34
okay this is gonna be good and then you're just you go back to modern times and then you're like okay just give it a chance i'm just
00:39:39
giving you your thought processes right give it a chance okay so he's this guy he's a mma fighter
00:39:45
yeah yeah yeah okay that i don't believe any of it because you know i mean that's not how these fights go yeah yeah
00:39:51
what is he some underground fighter right you know and you just show up in a gym you're just sitting there in
00:39:56
like where lockers are and like you're fighting today buddy and by the way by the way if i had a birthmark that was a
00:40:05
full-on dragon dragon tattoo right i'm not gonna just be like oh yeah you
00:40:10
know i've had this my whole life no [ __ ] this is something you know what i'm saying yeah yeah
00:40:15
you don't just get a dragon on your body like right and then and then you meet someone else like well i would take a photo on the
00:40:22
internet first of all right anybody okay anybody have this dragon tattoo on the chest oh my god
00:40:30
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00:40:35
without it because every night when i go to sleep i put my raycons on and i listen to um you know
00:40:41
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00:40:47
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00:41:58
man it's um guided meditation on an app and i've been using it i'm trying to get more medi like i'm trying to get more
00:42:04
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00:42:10
i like that right and that um right and this this app helps you i like
00:42:16
it so i use it to fall asleep that's my big thing i have the wind down sessions that i've used multiple times and uh i
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00:43:09
also can i just say this too it's like we grew up with the video games right
00:43:14
can the lead be somebody from the games right
00:43:20
pick one yeah it could have been anybody it could have been uh there's 20 characters liu kang yeah yeah glue king the guy
00:43:27
right but they didn't let's you know i mean let's throw in a cur you know what it is the writers going let's throw in a curveball and when they
00:43:35
go when they throw in a curveball they [ __ ] it up yeah put liu kang in it and i always like to they have to find like they find the
00:43:42
asian guy that you see me and you clearly think could he he might have some
00:43:47
some white in him it's always that asian guy too what do you mean it's never like like
00:43:52
asian asian you know what i mean you know what you're speaking my language you know what i'm saying it's never like really like
00:43:58
like does that guy own a store in south central asian it's never that asian right you know
00:44:04
what i mean yeah it's always like a guy that's like he's like it's the most handsome asian you could possibly find
00:44:10
it's the steve burn asia yes they put in the steve bernat right and even he's a little more asian than
00:44:16
yeah than they really want right he can do comedy but that steve burn asian isn't going to be an
00:44:22
action star no what is it it's war baby asian yeah you know i mean it's the kind of asian where you know i mean american
00:44:28
right or american right american soldiers went into a you know i mean colonized the place raped some girls and
00:44:34
they had a baby and all of a sudden boom yeah the lead of [ __ ] mortal kombat or or or does not always have to be
00:44:41
horrible or it's like you take bruce lee i took it to tafara he took it too far that was dark yeah it could just be
00:44:48
bruce lee who doesn't want to date asian women anymore and he finds a white girl what could i say is this though i like that i've
00:44:53
always liked that about him [Laughter] you know i really did because at that time right
00:44:59
before like when i was five i realized just in your mind you look in the mirror
00:45:04
you go you're never gonna [ __ ] a white girl that's never gonna happen right that
00:45:10
that's not even you know i mean you looked at your mom and went ah that's pretty much my option
00:45:15
yeah you're like a four foot nine you know four foot nine yoda you know what i mean
00:45:22
you know what i mean and then you always looked at your dad i went that's what i'm gonna look like yeah five four you know what i mean and
00:45:28
just a [ __ ] [ __ ] which i did turn into like i don't like big titties because yeah my mom had big titties she had
00:45:33
little titties what yeah well your mom had a little tip my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my mommy like little titties so now you like literally i find myself like
00:45:40
always like a little titty it's so [ __ ] weird my mom has little titties yeah my mom is a little titties yeah i love little
00:45:45
titties exactly yeah my mom has no ass and that let me see it i've never seen my mom's ass right but
00:45:52
just in a i would think your mom has ass no in a scientific way of if i analyze my mom's body it's just bone
00:45:59
it's like she has a bone there like somebody here like somebody hit her with a book bag numerous times right still her ass just
00:46:07
yeah it's really weird yeah so we are i know what you're saying when bruce lee though when i saw bruce
00:46:12
lee date this white girl yeah it's possible you know i was just like you know i was in the garage
00:46:18
trying to like yeah yeah yeah i took classes i took take one no classes who got more girls coming up you were
00:46:25
steve steve what you know that yeah i would no don't i mean don't say it like that well yeah he definitely did steve's way cuter
00:46:31
than you steve was always cuter and steve always had like he was like homecoming prince
00:46:36
what yeah yeah like he also he was also like [ __ ] don't [ __ ] up yeah he was also
00:46:42
popular wow right and if you look at my brother you know in the yearbooks he's always with the cool
00:46:48
group right and i have a i know you look at my instagram from a long time ago one of my first earliest
00:46:54
posts you know there was one photo that i posted of me doing improv right in high school on stage i was
00:47:01
doing like a scene you know i mean that's pretty much embodies what i was like i think
00:47:07
yeah also doing drugs and masturbating the library you were doing drugs in high school is
00:47:12
that when it started yeah i used to i've said this before on the podcast that i used to you know
00:47:17
do math and then i would um wow you were doing math before meth was even yeah it was a thing
00:47:23
yeah yeah you did that means you had that dangerous that's not coming no but i'm saying like that they didn't even have it perfected
00:47:29
back then yeah i was going to experiment it was not even sudafed you had that i just smoked it too
00:47:36
[ __ ] put in tin foil and take a yeah a a glass you know thing and
00:47:42
light it oh so good moral combat would you give it one through a a
00:47:48
through f it was like a d a d maybe c minus i think it's c give it
00:47:53
a solid c yeah cause cause kung fu fixes a lot of [ __ ] that's what i'm saying like you take
00:47:59
kung fu was great if you put zombies or kung fu in any movie it's going to be a much
00:48:06
better movie okay of course more enjoyable you put some zombies in the notebook
00:48:12
right if you put zombies and they'll be amazing oh amazing because like that [ __ ] the zombies are trying to get in it's
00:48:18
just a whole different movie you know you have to decide this [ __ ] don't know what's going on should i leave her
00:48:23
oh that's right yeah yeah you know what i'm saying so i just feel like if the zombie has dementia will they
00:48:30
even anyway it doesn't even matter my point is so the kung fu always adds and and because and by the
00:48:36
way because it was rated r with kung fu that made it not be an f
00:48:42
right pg-13 and if they had little titties in it you would have been gave it probably a b no c plus c plus how about king kong
00:48:50
versus godzilla loved it loved every second of that movie one of the worst movies i've ever seen no i just
00:48:55
you know i just i the worst movies i've ever seen listen i loved it yeah not i'm not saying it was a great
00:49:01
movie i just loved that it was like oh they're finally trying to make entertaining movies i'm not entertaining at all oh i thought
00:49:07
it was very interesting it's annoying it's annoying that king kong wakes up right
00:49:12
and he picks up a tree and does a back scratchy thing bobby if you want to break down the movie that way
00:49:18
i 100 agree with you because my thing is like this what the [ __ ] is this little girl doing with a 65-foot monkey yeah what does she
00:49:24
play like why is she just roaming around a monkey place by herself yeah i don't care what they think this it's a monkey and then
00:49:31
yeah and all and as soon as like i don't know i don't remember if this was in it but i think it was when the little girl like
00:49:37
he she's whatever like she sticks up a finger yeah and then his monkey finger they touch yeah right imagine ant
00:49:45
right yeah dude imagine an ant even if i tried to do that even if i tried to do that with the ant
00:49:51
right i might crush it look dude this thing right here right right if i'm just if i'm just like if yeah yeah like like it's like
00:49:58
this right if i just come to it a little bit you know it's going to mo like you know what i mean
00:50:04
you know what i'm saying okay right this okay this is the girl yeah right this is the girl right her
00:50:09
finger right i'm king kong right
00:50:15
oh dead yeah that i did too too hard how did you know how much control that he's he's gonna need so the monkey all of a
00:50:22
sudden yeah you know the monkey all of a sudden is [ __ ] yoda you know like yeah there's no way he meditates he would have died
00:50:27
they would have died i just i i also think godzilla and king you know how sometimes they make it so it's they make it like they're
00:50:33
they're aware of what the good guys are yeah you make a helicopter will fly by and like no it's one of ours you know
00:50:39
what i mean i don't think he would he would just be smashing everything [ __ ] yeah that's like like so people just
00:50:45
going on with society yeah and a big ass dragon is just living in the ocean and you just come on and
00:50:50
land like why rebuild like like i wouldn't rebuild now especially if this is a continuation of these others oh yeah the
00:50:56
titans live on this planet they just live yeah and they just come in you know yeah they just come in like i i
00:51:01
yeah so but i well listen listen the reason why i enjoyed it is because if you saw this year's oscar movies
00:51:09
miserable like every movie is miserable every movie is about something
00:51:15
terrible happening to somebody terrible or so you know you just go why why is
00:51:21
this entertainment now why are we praising this let's get back to just we're trying to
00:51:26
just entertain and escape from society it seems like every movie that's made now the ones that
00:51:32
the industry wants to praise has to be all right let's find you know let's find but those those
00:51:37
movies those let me say those movies are movies that most people don't watch
00:51:44
ever ever they never watch they never watch them ever you couldn't name me the last 10 best picture movies right and it's like it's
00:51:51
it's it and they also know the industry knows this is the reason why they make a king kong
00:51:56
and these types of movies is they know that's where all the money is yeah and that's why they get all the
00:52:01
great stars big like big name stars
00:52:06
what else did you see i know what we were going to talk about is uh the snyder cut of
00:52:14
justice league justice league do you think
00:52:19
i thought it was so much better masterpiece then that was a masterpiece i think there were pieces of masterpiece but put
00:52:26
together in a four-hour movie i wish they would have just made it he should have just said can i put this on
00:52:32
hbo max for 10 episodes that would have been good i would have enjoyed it that would have been good they could have cut it up as a show
00:52:38
but i think they they could have lost the seventh chapter completely the dream sequence with the joker it's like
00:52:43
oh i loved that what oh man i want to see that oh you want to see someone's dream no no
00:52:50
i want to see that but that's not a dream that's supposed to be a um prophecy of the few what happens in
00:52:56
the future superman actually goes crazy you know that's what that is that's in the comments oh that's really that yeah it's in the
00:53:02
comics superman like he loses lois lane and he [ __ ] can't take it and he's like i'm [ __ ]
00:53:07
a god here which can i ask you a question let's say okay we live on earth all
00:53:13
right that's true we're here on earth you're a slubby you know 49 year old i'm what i
00:53:18
am okay and a human piece of human [ __ ] what really yeah you look
00:53:23
like melting [ __ ] okay if i took are you look if i took whales if i took gathered whale [ __ ] and put on
00:53:29
a beach you look like a sick piece of [ __ ] like you're the kind of [ __ ] like after you eat beets you know that you're that [ __ ] when it
00:53:35
comes out when you look in the toilet and go oh my god i'm dying that's the kind of [ __ ] like little titties you when you're naked and you look at yourself in the
00:53:40
mirror you probably don't like your body then because you have big titties no i don't yeah look at those titties no you can you can say that
00:53:46
i can see your tits through your shirt no you can't i can no i'm i'm so go ahead i'm doing a lot better um
00:53:54
we live here we find out that there's some other planet that when we go we have godlike powers
00:54:03
i fantasize about this why the [ __ ] would we stay here like i don't understand why the kryptonians who have all this
00:54:10
knowledge if they knew because they had to know it wasn't them they they had to i'll
00:54:16
tell you why they should be like hey we need to go where there's a yellow sun because look what it does to us we can fly
00:54:21
we got x-ray vision we got super strength like because you're saying that the the kryptonians are so smart that they
00:54:28
they're they think above that right they're thinking they're thinking about all of them zod wasn't like that
00:54:35
he was are those the ones that went to prison trying to yeah trying to come they were in prison that's why yeah but what i'm saying is not all the
00:54:41
kryptonians were smart also why do you put them in the pr like didn't they put like in the first star
00:54:46
war in superman 2 remember they used to put they put them in like that crystal or whatever that was that was what was it called the
00:54:52
something zone the phantom zone yeah is there's no way to kill them why don't i just put krypto inject them with kryptonite no
00:54:59
the kryptonite see the kryptonite doesn't hurt them unless they're in with the yellow sun apparently i don't even know the
00:55:05
lore but anyway my point is let's get back to justice league so yeah
00:55:11
the changes that they made to justice league i thought were fantastic one in the orig by the way do you think
00:55:17
you have to see the original to really enjoy the snyder cut because i think you do i think that you
00:55:22
have to see both things if you don't see both i don't know if the snyder cut you kind of kind of know because this is true
00:55:27
because my brother never seen any of them right my brother's never seen any of them and i go you guys should watch it my
00:55:32
brother watched it and he goes that was a masterpiece that's too long to me i think you need to see both no i don't think so
00:55:38
well like like for instance one of the changes i really loved is in the original flash is a [ __ ] and an annoying
00:55:44
character yeah in the snyder cut he was more heroic they took all that [ __ ] out in the
00:55:50
in the original you didn't know who cyborg was yeah yeah yeah and in the new one you're like oh there's a backstory he's a good guy
00:55:56
i like that whole thing where he was like he gave that lady money from the atm machine yeah right who was that lady just some
00:56:02
lady yeah yeah that was really cool it showed his heart that's what i'm saying i know they just they they because they what he
00:56:08
was saying i think snyder was like look man we lost to you we lost uh when you when you make
00:56:14
love to a woman here we go let me you don't know how to do rabbit style rabbit style yeah like power [ __ ] let's
00:56:22
start close your ears so you're power [ __ ] kalila no you go you probably don't do that yeah i i have
00:56:27
mime times when i want to go quick i want to go quick that's gross don't
00:56:33
let the size fly i'm a strong man right you're right i could beat your ass
00:56:38
if i wanted to why is it when you're like when when people get knocked out in a movie right and they wake up in a foreign area
00:56:46
unless they're either tied to a tree in a forest or they're in a dungeon what is the
00:56:52
first thing they say when they wake up where am i no they go
00:56:58
hello oh as if like the captain the guy that captured them is gonna go
00:57:03
hello [Laughter] do you never do that they always go
00:57:09
hello anyone there yeah right that's not the first the first if i was capturing i woke up i'd
00:57:14
be like like don't look like i'm on vacation in italy right right okay and all of a sudden i drink some
00:57:20
something and i wake up in a thing i wake up i'm going like this you know what i mean yeah i'm not
00:57:26
well i i can tell you what the first thing the first thing that comes out of my mind is this
00:57:31
i'm being real let's be real about it what the [ __ ] that's the first thing
00:57:37
what the [ __ ] because you're kind of realizing what you're you go oh [ __ ] man what the [ __ ]
00:57:42
i would probably see it five times i'm just being real right here yeah hello i could probably say hello hello
00:58:01
i put myself there and then i i realized that hello you know what let me see let me go back let me go back
00:58:06
i wake up what the [ __ ] yeah i mean hello hello would be the
00:58:12
thing because you're in a situation where you don't know where anyone is this is what's happening
00:58:20
you're trying to figure out is is there anyone is there anyone there is anyone there maybe would i say is
00:58:27
anyone there i'm here maybe yeah i have to be like
00:58:32
that how scary scared would you be why be scared if it was him yeah yeah yeah what's that yeah he or like
00:58:39
one of the human you ever see the human centipede no yeah what that's that kind of [ __ ] scary
00:58:46
movies like that but would you like if you're surgically tied to a hot chick even though you're tired
00:58:53
of their anus would that make it sometimes no it would make it worse it would make it worse let's say but let's say you're
00:58:59
you wake up and you're surgically tied to like who's a hot hot woman yeah but but listen i don't care
00:59:04
how hot they are a dirty butt is a dirty butt right like are they washing
00:59:09
like yeah but i'd rather be like with like you know um who's a hot like scarlett johansson
00:59:16
right then for some reason tay diggs why that's a very odd choice why
00:59:23
that you that you picked tay diggs or out of your head or delroy lindo
00:59:31
is that better yeah roy lindo you mean i would rather have a hot chick no
00:59:37
anytime i see like a period piece movie yeah where it's like oldie times or something
00:59:42
sherlock holmes times i can't escape the fact that everybody's ass
00:59:48
is dirty like i always think that like if it's like seven like if it's like pre-1900s type stuff
00:59:55
they had no bidets they know there's no bidets right you know they're on a pirate ship and i'm or whatever it is and i'm
01:00:01
just thinking to myself everybody stinks on this like right
01:00:06
so in this human centipede situation it's not like the guy was like making sure everybody shower like there was no scene where the guy
01:00:12
was like it wasn't like silence of the lambs like poor the lotion or like it's you think like it's a
01:00:17
summer it's 17th century france yeah right it's hot it's hot you need a woman
01:00:23
right and she's like oh lala would you like to like let's go eat you know at this restaurant yeah right you go to
01:00:28
the restaurant right you eat right it's hot right hot as [ __ ] right and she got on eighteen layers of [ __ ] on do some dancings yeah right and you did you did
01:00:35
you do the you know uh-huh you know i mean whatever the acapulco or whatever i don't know that's a real dance right
01:00:40
and then right and then you're like and she's like let's go back to my place right you go back to the place right i can imagine once you pull the pants
01:00:47
down right and she spreads her legs open there's always like yes you know because
01:00:52
there's just there's like a so it's like you know what what's that the fireball from street fighter you know what i mean it
01:00:58
looks like this like you know what i mean like yeah that's what it looks like it's just right it looks good you just
01:01:03
go right wow you would think that you would go whoa
01:01:09
and then you would have to like you know like and then she goes like this what do you smell you smell sweat blood maybe yeah yeah yeah no
01:01:16
yeah yeah yeah yeah oh yeah poo a little poo gotta be a little [ __ ] yeah there's
01:01:27
maybe that's why people spit like when did you start when did we start when did oral sex become a
01:01:33
thing like because it always it ca not back then
01:01:41
what do you mean it was always a thing then especially when she went can you right
01:01:47
and you would have to as a guy and i think what it is you would get used to it like our car
01:01:53
right now the car that smells like [ __ ] like i think one of the dogs may be [ __ ] in it right and you
01:02:00
know a couple days ago we were like it's cut you smell that's terrible and now you know you can't really smell it's still there i think that's what it
01:02:06
is you go down and you you just get used to the [ __ ] and the thing and then
01:02:11
and then once you you start looking and you know probably there's a acidic quality to the vagina maybe
01:02:18
so you no matter what time of day you go down well in modern times now
01:02:26
collide will take a shower and we'll do it right but we're talking about 17 cents no no this is what i'm saying even in modern
01:02:33
times you don't just even with oh yeah even like even right
01:02:38
now like right right now we're sweaty it's hot in here yeah yeah yeah yeah and if kalyla came in everyone kicked
01:02:43
out she's like let me bowl you right now i'd pick i gotta go to the bathroom can i yeah i would freshen up like
01:02:48
what i'm saying is like what was going on in the seven in 1732 maybe there there's some sort of like
01:02:53
you know i just didn't have perfume back then i can't not think about that when i'm
01:02:59
watching these kind of things right and then some love scene is about to happen and i just go don't do that yeah like what are you
01:03:05
what's happening right now and also the toilet what kind of twist what is it there's the toilet situation yeah how
01:03:10
about this they always they had bed pans like that so it's just like you have to [ __ ] so you're in bed they never
01:03:17
they never show that but in the crown you don't have to [ __ ] you have to go like this you got to get excuse me like you're in the same room
01:03:23
yeah just a second i got to pull out a bucket and i'm going to [ __ ] in the room with
01:03:30
you yeah do you know how it's difficult enough to [ __ ] and wipe yourself
01:03:36
on a modern toilet or like you know in asia you know uh my grandparents they lived
01:03:43
on a mountain oh god okay and they that my grandparents lived in a a what do you call it a rice house like
01:03:50
everything was made out of wood and rice paper it's like one of those old-school looking with the with the with
01:03:56
the roof right so like if the wolf came he would just blow that house down yeah yeah and it was one of those like
01:04:02
you know everything was like dark wood flat everything was wooden you slept on these mats right i remember
01:04:09
and the bathroom was because my great great great great grandfather lived there too because he's been there
01:04:15
for hundreds and hundreds of years right and my mom grew up there right the bathroom was this hole in the ground
01:04:22
right and there's no sewage and you'd go in there and you had to balance yourself yeah right and take a [ __ ] but then in
01:04:30
my thoughts i was like my great great great grandfather's [ __ ]
01:04:35
is somewhere deep down in there yeah what's going on there like where does that is there's like some like it's just something absolutely what if
01:04:41
like down the mountain there's like someone else's living and they're just like this
01:04:47
this there's an opening over here that just smells like
01:04:52
oh you think so yeah yeah how come we didn't fill up like how many people how deep was it
01:04:58
yeah look where my where my mom grew up my mom grew up in belize you know what's that in central america
01:05:04
belize you know it's like anyway they had like gutters in the street like this gutters with
01:05:12
just like sewage running down the street this nasty you know it would come out of the
01:05:18
houses they had outhouses it just was like you think back like how far we've come
01:05:24
even in just yeah 50 years but you know i think what you're saying what you're basically saying is
01:05:30
would we eat [ __ ] in the 17th century and i think we would and that because i think that we wouldn't know any
01:05:35
different you know what i mean and i think that in modern times we wouldn't well because when did women start shaving
01:05:40
their [ __ ] anyway like that wouldn't even be like that wasn't that on either is that what you like no i'm not saying i'm not i'm not saying
01:05:46
like i don't like it i i have no preference no honestly honestly so if like you meet a
01:05:52
girl yeah i've already i've already been there i've i've met a girl and then she opened it and she had no hair down there
01:05:58
i'm fine you wouldn't would you would you would that even be an aware awareness thing where you would think wow there's no hair there
01:06:06
or you would just look past it i would look past it in a way i don't look past you just kind of go okay
01:06:11
this is where you went with it oh this is nice you know that's not what i would think what would you think oh i can't say it
01:06:16
because i have to cut it out i'd have to cut it out you just when
01:06:24
it's really hairy though i like some grooming but you know hair
01:06:30
what hair really does though how it really grows i don't think any chicks are doing that now unless they're
01:06:36
just like they've given up you know because it's like it goes like up here all the way down to the inner
01:06:41
thighs yeah like it's just a like a throw rug i feel uncomfortable talking about
01:06:46
vaginas and pubic hair but i have to say something okay it's i i once met a girl um
01:06:53
who you know i'm going to say that my penis isn't a fresh product let's
01:07:00
just say that and it isn't the prettiest thing to see all right so i'm just going to preface that you know
01:07:07
first the second thing i want to say is one time i met a girl and she had one of those um vaginas that
01:07:14
came out oh yeah yeah i know what you do you know
01:07:21
what i'm saying where it was just kind of swollen cauliflower you know whatever yeah yeah right yeah i mean or like you know drizzy mike's roast
01:07:28
beef right not the freshest right but she had
01:07:33
a lot of hair right so it looked like you know fungi
01:07:38
growing in a forest yeah you know i mean it was just like you could see the shrubbery and you just saw this thing pop up that
01:07:45
looked like like a little mushroom yeah right and then like i didn't know where it began or where it ended right i
01:07:52
didn't know what to do right it was like a mystery yeah i mean but you obviously i'm a man i still like it
01:07:59
right you know it's like you're having you know something that you haven't eaten before right so i went in yeah it's like going to
01:08:04
like a like a fancy restaurant right right right you know and the chef comes out you know yeah
01:08:12
oh delicious i think i i don't like talking about women like that because you know we live in a different
01:08:18
world now we're not we're not talking are you thinking what is this inappropriate i don't i don't think so what do you
01:08:24
mean you don't think so you're not really like insulting yeah yeah we're just something it's different varieties it's
01:08:30
just something it also happened so you know but but you know there are people who are like oh i don't ever want to see hair
01:08:35
i have buddies like that you know what it is you know you know what the guys that say that yeah they're
01:08:42
way more attractive than us okay attractive guys can say [ __ ] like
01:08:48
i don't like when chicks have like fake boobs or they go i don't like attractive guys can say that because
01:08:54
they got options my [ __ ] is not like rich guys people eating yeah exactly it's like you know let's
01:09:00
say you and i eat at 7-eleven yeah because that's all we can afford
01:09:07
yeah and it's like you haven't had it it's really good right exactly but i go to you know what i mean this is
01:09:13
this that's the same kind of thing hot guys always have these like they're always like oh yeah i don't i had a guy tell me he said
01:09:19
if i date a blonde the next one she can't be a blonde she got to be
01:09:24
something else i was like my [ __ ] is like is she breathing
01:09:30
end up me too you know what i mean yeah me too cause i'm always breathing i'm always in shock
01:09:35
any kind of attention you know oh it's it's this is what i think that's why you and i i i can't
01:09:41
relate to andrew in that way because yeah he's he's one of those guys that like and i've seen that i've seen other male
01:09:48
comics like this i was i i think i could say this um i was walking down the street
01:09:53
with one time crystalia okay and we were gonna go see avengers right
01:09:59
yeah i think avengers 2. and we're and we're going to the we're in new york we're we're like i
01:10:05
don't know what street where we're on and we're late so we're just chris was mad he's like come on dude
01:10:11
i woke up late you know what i mean let's go we're missing it right and as we're walking this beautiful
01:10:17
supermodel i'm not kidding you came out of nowhere she just came out of nowhere where and she approaches chris
01:10:24
she's walking this way and we're walking this way and look she looked like she had been crying
01:10:30
right so as she stops us and she goes looks at chris she
01:10:37
it was almost as if christilia was holding a teddy bear that's what i was that's
01:10:44
what she looked at me like it was some present for some child like i wasn't even human but you were like make a wish
01:10:49
right and your dream was to hang out with him right right that's what it was she was like she she might as well just tap me in the head hello little
01:10:56
you know me little thing right she looks at him and goes i don't know you my boyfriend just
01:11:02
dumped me i've never done this before do you want to make out
01:11:07
right now and dalia looks at me and goes have fun at the movie and they just walk away right and now
01:11:15
i'm in the theater number theater popcorn with popcorn popcorn right
01:11:20
[Laughter] you know just because that's that'll
01:11:25
never happen for me yeah man i know exactly what you're saying it's just just it's a different world it's a
01:11:31
different world that good looking guys even like being on the road like just after we're telling okay
01:11:36
dalia stories because that's not but i have this this is the god honest truth
01:11:43
i haven't been to one city where i've done comedy yeah where if i'm taught what been the
01:11:48
past and i'm talking to a girl just all of a sudden without her saying do you know crystalia
01:11:55
i know in a way of like you know can you and i'm like okay i'll see you
01:12:01
yeah yes yeah get on my face i'm done with you yeah you know so it's like like i i had one crystalline moment
01:12:10
that i i thought and you're still with her no no no no no where i thought where i thought where i thought
01:12:15
this has never happened it's never happened before or after i was at the tampa bay improv this is
01:12:20
before i met kalylah yeah he has to preface it that way i met kalyala right
01:12:26
and um there was this girl at the bar and she was brunette right
01:12:32
and i walked by the bar and she goes hey to me oh hi that's whenever a hot chick
01:12:40
whatever hot chick says hey i always say like that hi or a question and then she goes up just basically you
01:12:46
went yeah like because you know maybe it was toward somebody that was back because
01:12:51
that happened before me too oh where some says says that i say hi and they're really saying hi to the guy
01:12:57
so hi and she goes hey i'm you know i grew up watching mad tv or whatever it might be and when that happens it's like maybe
01:13:04
there's a shot right yeah and then there was a i went to the green room and there was a girl that was there that was wants to
01:13:11
be a comedian and she was a preacher's daughter right because that's what she said i'm a
01:13:17
preacher's daughter right but she was cute right and so after the show that brunette from the
01:13:25
bar goes what are you doing afterwards i'm like i'm gonna go to eat preacher's daughter goes i want to go too right so they both and
01:13:32
i was able to finagle this a miracle right i got them separated i
01:13:37
go come over the hotel room right right so one of them came over right and then she left and then
01:13:44
they the preacher's daughter came and that's never happened you know that's kind of like those are like steve burns stories
01:13:52
right or like when good looking guys right that happened one time where i hooked up with two girls in one night
01:13:59
and i i think i prayed i think when the preacher left right i got on my hands and knees
01:14:07
by the bed i did old school and you know how the hotel has a bible yeah i brought that out
01:14:12
the gideon's bible i brought that up i put my hand on like this like i was testifying right like a dear lord thank you so much
01:14:18
i'm so grateful i started crying i'm so grateful thank you so much and then is isn't it at that moment
01:14:24
you realize stand up is the best why you even got into the business that's why yeah dude that's exactly why i have had
01:14:29
i've i've i've had i know i know look at you i've had one of those what do you mean look at me kidding man
01:14:35
you just love saying did you make you feel better it's a joke man i love you man that's it it's a joke whatever yeah you had
01:14:41
these uh of course before rachel you have to look at rachel uh look just just when i see you and rachel in the same
01:14:48
photograph i just go what the [ __ ] man what a miracle
01:14:53
she hit me you know how to you know how this red bull was filled oh stupid that was bad it's okay
01:15:01
andres can clean it up
01:15:07
this is why he's gonna we're gonna wake up and he's going i know he's going to be tired hello but it's going to be like a
01:15:13
podcast too like now we're going to talk about what i want
01:15:19
yeah yeah so um i'll be uh and i i've never really said
01:15:24
this out loud again i'm the city's all about revelations okay i used to have this dream right or
01:15:30
this fantasy where i had this brunette right girl dressed in white with no face it
01:15:37
was a dream i had and i don't know why but she was always in the because my my cousin andy and
01:15:43
paul lived in a mansion right growing up and she was it was like a dream where this girl was
01:15:51
i mean uh in the driveway wearing a white dress with no face but with tall brunette
01:15:56
very brown and she's kind of swaying back and forth and i always went is that my future
01:16:03
girlfriend or and i think that's kalila
01:16:09
it works we might we meet people and it just works you go through all the
01:16:15
things you have to go through to make it happen and once it happens
01:16:21
you're in this situation and boom are you woody allen fan um sometimes did you see the documentary
01:16:27
no i didn't see the documentary i didn't want to you know why i'm off hbo documentaries man why
01:16:33
because a lot of them it's like i don't know if they i think they're just doing them for shock value and that did you call in at the store
01:16:38
they called me yeah you going up this weekend i i tell i told him i was available um you know you're scared to do it but
01:16:45
did you put you did put you on the list i have no idea because the lineups are out
01:16:50
so they [ __ ] yeah i don't know the new the new people [ __ ] you i don't know i'm gonna call the store
01:16:56
right now it's emily yeah i'm gonna know i'm gonna call the store right now to see if um you're on the list okay if she doesn't
01:17:03
pick up for me right now this is emily emily bobby lee hi bobby
01:17:11
how are you hi um i'm sitting here with eric griffin yeah not he called in and he didn't get a
01:17:16
spot what's going on oh no sorry i will i'm going to win the lineup right now i will get back to you guys a lot a lot
01:17:24
of moving parts so is eric gonna get a spot yeah let me let me just double check the lineup
01:17:30
sorry i'm not walking my dog i'll go okay it looks like no then yeah it looks like you're here yeah well you're on the podcast right now so
01:17:36
you're on bad friends so we yeah so um so that was a screw up on your end wait my surprise guest yeah you're surprised
01:17:43
who's the surprise guest who's surprise guest alicia cooper argus hamilton let's see ron funches okay
01:17:50
ricky wait wait argus gets a spot and eric griffin who's like just booked a pilot jeff ross neil brennan tim dillon danny
01:17:56
letterman yeah i like him he's very funny sam all
01:18:02
right anyway i'll rework it because you got to put eric give him a spot okay okay okay bye bye i don't see you either
01:18:08
though i didn't call in oh why not i'm not gonna call until may why is that after i get back from europe oh do you have a game for us we do it's
01:18:15
called imaginary gift yes a couple's game where one partner gives the other an imaginary the couple talks
01:18:22
about the gift without naming it or giving obvious do clues the goal is for the partner who receives the gift to figure out
01:18:29
what is a kind of guessing game but the real purpose is for the couple to experience so i don't know what it is
01:18:35
when i'm giving it to him and we're not a couple so we're not gay
01:18:42
all right let's do it i'll try i don't know how it works but let's just give it a go but let me give you a gift the person who gives the gift knows what it is
01:18:48
okay let me think let me think of what it is this is gonna be why is he giving me the i can't trust him right why why i should be giving you the
01:18:55
gift no you should be giving me this i'm gonna you never get no way you know what okay i know what it is
01:19:01
i know what it is okay is this like charades no well does it pretend i'm coming over to your
01:19:06
house i'm going to knock on the door why would you knock on the door just when's the last time you knocked up someone's like hello
01:19:12
let's just start with the improv or now yeah i'm i've already started uh that's how you would answer the door yeah all right who is it
01:19:20
hey nude it's me bob bobby bobby lee yeah man
01:19:28
hurry up man i got a present for you open the [ __ ] tour i'm not dressed give me a second oh [ __ ]
01:19:36
okay i'm dressed okay welcome hey buddy hey man how are you hey dude um happy belated birthday oh
01:19:42
thank you uh-huh um i can't believe i was it was i remember no i know i know and i can't believe i
01:19:49
remembered how to get to your your [ __ ] house but uh yeah here it is here it is
01:19:54
is that what happens in the improv yes does he open it or no no he has to guess what is it but you
01:20:01
know before you open it i can't believe you're gonna have to guess what it is no by what you talk about it i'm
01:20:07
supposed to figure out what it is is that what it is yes okay do i ask questions like oh it's
01:20:12
yeah you have to ask questions so it's so big is it why why is it so big because for a big fella
01:20:20
[Laughter] is it a jacket no is that what how they're going that doesn't make it
01:20:26
how does this come and explain this this way come back in here this
01:20:37
yeah but you said that i already know what it is well you're giving him something but that's gonna change because he's gonna say hey why is this red maybe you thought it was
01:20:43
a banana and now it's red so you would about oh is that what it is knock knock knock
01:20:50
come in it's open all right hey what's up dude um happy belated christmas
01:21:03
is this the energy you're bringing me a gift like all right all right start over all right blade of christmas
01:21:10
you you did it like you did it like kalyla made you go over there like all right the scene before this was like
01:21:15
really should be nicer to eric all right ding dong
01:21:22
hey hey can i come in take her should i come in take your
01:21:27
shoes off first all right i take my shoes off um i just want to let you know bud
01:21:33
that um i'm grateful for you and um i've been thinking about you a
01:21:38
lot lately and i really enjoy your company and i enjoy you as a human being and boy you know i felt a lot of guilt
01:21:45
for not getting you a christmas gift i know it's august i know it's august and um
01:21:53
this guilt has been really building building you know and i've been yeah i couldn't i haven't been able to sleep well
01:21:59
so i got you a gift i like this is great yeah and this is wow there's so much
01:22:05
money i can't believe you you you this much money into it
01:22:11
how can you tell i put money into it you haven't opened it up yet i could tell by the wrapping paper yeah
01:22:17
the wrapping i got at you know ah i got it at jcpenney just doesn't look
01:22:22
jcpenney aren't they closed yeah i know but there's one outlet open in oxnard oh so you went to the jcpenney
01:22:30
outlet outlet right and it's so funny it's like it's like a weed store the the wrapping section because it's
01:22:36
like you could there's different tiers right this is a cheap one right but i
01:22:41
got you the high class one so it looks like it's dolce gabbana but it's really jcpenney anyway you know here you go
01:22:49
all right yeah i'm gonna open it up
01:22:58
merry christmas oh wow yeah how did you know my size because um
01:23:04
from the internet the internet yeah yeah yeah it's a funny thing there you know the
01:23:11
internet has different sites with you know celebrities celebrity sizes celebrity sizes and um you know i knew that um
01:23:19
this would be this is the size of your head oh oh yeah that was in my oh wow yeah oh
01:23:26
and it looks like it it would fit too so you did a good guess thank you thank you yeah yeah it's
01:23:31
elastic so oh yeah so you know what i mean it's an elastic situation so if it's elastic
01:23:36
why did you worry about so you didn't even it didn't even matter the size because because it's like one size fits all
01:23:41
no it isn't even if you put like an elastic thing on something too large it might snap and it could
01:23:48
hurt somebody okay so right so i had to go on the internet to look at your size so this yeah so the elastic part fits on my head
01:23:54
yeah you like the color yeah i like that it's uh black and orange
01:24:00
yeah because that's from your favorite team the pittsburgh steelers
01:24:05
and different steelers and um also put it on oh okay yeah
01:24:12
wow it fits perfectly on my head yeah yeah and um and don't you like the um
01:24:20
embroidery on it yeah read it yeah um read the embroidery the embroidery oh
01:24:26
wow this is very touching of you it says i'm sorry for being such a [ __ ] [ __ ]
01:24:31
for our whole friendship yeah you know how because every word every letter right cost five
01:24:37
dollars oh wow so imagine you know and there's a there's a flap that comes out
01:24:48
you paid five dollars for this whole poem yes i did so it's like no five dollars a letter i would like to see the poem in
01:24:54
your words i want to see them
01:25:01
yeah glorious knight sweet dreamer yeah i enjoy you so immensely the
01:25:08
skylights give me create an atmosphere within each other to create energy and connections that make us a
01:25:15
forever people and you and i are on a rainbow carpet ride
01:25:20
a rainbow carpet ride into why is your po this is your poetry sway yeah into the atmospheres of our own
01:25:26
destinies love bubbaloo that's
01:25:31
very nice of you yeah yeah anyway i gotta go
01:25:36
that's it yeah yeah that's it now can we do that now can you give me a gift i want a gift now
01:25:41
we don't even know what it was well guess it's elastic it's a pittsburgh steelers hat it's a pittsburgh steelers
01:25:47
with uh embroidery and a poem that flips out the back that's exactly what it is all right yeah what do you what do you
01:25:54
think of that gift not good okay now you
01:25:59
yeah all right so i'm coming over to your place all right so i have to like
01:26:06
there's like a it's like one of these at the door right yeah
01:26:12
so i'm sitting yeah and now i'm in a room i'm in a room going
01:26:20
oh somebody's at the door someone's at the door let me let me let me uh
01:26:26
take off my um kimono hang it right put on my regular street clothes i
01:26:31
don't want people to know that i wear that in the house and i oh eric hey what's up
01:26:37
bobby come on in wow what's up what's what a surprise yeah it is a surprise um what do you
01:26:43
have there uh this is a gift i have for you wow you drove all the way over here from
01:26:48
century city to get me a gift yes wow so um it's very large
01:26:54
well they only had this one box oh right right so so it could anything
01:27:02
could be in it exactly all right let me lift the box the bottom is big maybe a very light box yeah so okay good so
01:27:10
it's a joke box it's a joke but it's meaningful what's inside all right may i yes please all right so i'm opening this
01:27:16
gigantic box okay and oh jules can you go get me some scissors because there's like this okay thank you okay take this tape
01:27:24
off oh i don't really see it
01:27:31
oh it's a little box yeah i pulled out a little box and
01:27:37
there's like a little oh it says on the thing gucci so that's interesting
01:27:43
on the thing i'm going to open it up well the gucci box you know you can buy them at this place
01:27:49
you know at jc penney's they have all right they have different kinds of boxes
01:27:55
but they sell them oh it's all right yeah whatever is the product that's inside the box might
01:28:00
necessarily right not reflect the box itself it's called it's called expensive wrapping you can get it at jcpenney why it's the
01:28:07
same one yeah i remember a year ago i came over right and i got into that steelers all
01:28:13
right he had that steelers hat and you made me think you know this is where you go to do fancy rapping right so i influenced you in that one yes you did
01:28:19
so i went there and i was like can you give me thank you can i get the gucci box right they said the big one i said no
01:28:25
give me the little gucci box right but okay so let me open it up
01:28:30
oh my god it's a it's is it a commemorative coin yeah right and
01:28:37
let me see and on it is who is that that's you that's me yeah
01:28:44
heads is you right let me flip it over and on the other side tails is you oh
01:28:50
yeah yeah wow yeah so we have you've made this coin i'm on one side right and you're on the
01:28:58
other one and um it's so funny because on this coin like on mine my face is in the middle of the coin
01:29:04
uh-huh but when i flip it over your whole face is the coin really
01:29:10
well if i'm looking at the car right now i'm in the you see my you can literally see the outline of my head in the middle of the coin
01:29:17
right and if you flip it you have no outline the actual coin is your head right so that's interesting
01:29:25
that seems like that took a lot of work yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's interesting but
01:29:31
you notice how the grooves on the other side of your face they
01:29:41
the grooves of your face yeah they really had to do some like special detail to get the intricacy like yeah the lip
01:29:50
that's underneath your eyes yeah yeah they really have the epicanthic fold yes yeah and that must have cost
01:29:56
extra money it did cost extra money right because that's really interesting right yeah on your side though no
01:30:03
go ahead right on your side they just did this like a shine right oh they didn't yeah
01:30:09
yeah they did like yeah i i would call that a rustic [ __ ] shine yeah yeah right that's interesting yeah
01:30:15
when you turn on the other side though on your side as you can notice that there's a sort of mustard sheen it's like
01:30:24
how did they do that how did they do that well they right they had they had little kids pee on it
01:30:30
yeah wait let me let me just right let me just flip it right oh you know it always lands on your side
01:30:38
because the weight is on that side of the coin no no yeah what it is let's flip it again it's
01:30:43
always on you right it's weighted yeah no because the imbalance of your head
01:30:50
from nose to chin is six percent of your face right and then from those two i see
01:30:57
the top is the other ninety four percent so it's weighted that day that when you flip it it's going to end up being away
01:31:04
very expensive it was very expensive yeah to do to get the intricate details yeah you can actually you can actually buy things with that oh
01:31:10
wow anyway thank you so much i bought it with a bitcoin anyway thank you for being here and thank you
01:31:16
for being a bad friend [Music]
01:31:26
whoa somebody told somebody hit me up and say yeah why does kalila want to [ __ ] bobby in the ass with a [Laughter]
01:31:33
what yeah yeah somebody said like yeah my buddy hit me up who listens to it he was like yeah klyla went into detail about how
01:31:40
she wants to put on a strap on and she did yeah she's she's proposed it before
01:31:45
i go i don't know it's not gonna feel good and i go um just stick a finger in there or something but she has like these long
01:31:52
e.t fingers and she did it once didn't like it it was like having like um you have to
01:31:57
try it joey diaz sticking his finger there like a thick cuban yeah yeah
01:32:04
my [ __ ] is um it seems like it's deep my oh my [ __ ] is very deep but tight
01:32:12
yeah are you flirting right now
01:32:27
[Music]
